#now to find a place on my wall
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This arrived a week ago or so, but I wanted to get a frame before sharing.
Thank you @andva-ri for this amazing print!! Love your art and when I saw you were selling prints of this illustration I HAD TO. THIS IS SO GOOD. Splinter my beloved. Slowly gathering rise art for my room.
For everyone else, here's their shop! Their illustrations are so good I recommend checking them out!
#not my art#i cheesed it with a 18x24 frame but it still looks good#blue was the move#now to find a place on my wall#joining my andy suriano posters#pixel blurbs
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the thing is. juno & nureyev's relationship has been such a major guiding thread throughout the podcast and the major drive of season 5, and the fandom has built itself so much (as fandoms often do) around shipping the two of them.
and yet nureyev doesn't show up at all in the last episode! or, he does, but it's only implied (for all we know it could be like. alessandra strong)(i know it's not but it would be really funny) and we don't hear his voice.
and it's so important to me that despite the room that their romance has taken in the plot and in our hearts, his absence reinforces that the point of juno steel's story wasn't a lady getting his man, it was about learning to grow as person for himself and for his friends (and not just his love interest), and it was about finding his footing in life and being at peace with himself and his place in the world. and he did! his growth and relative serenity is so apparent and just. a balm to the soul
and the fact that his man is back is just a nice add-on, not a necessity for his happiness
#juno steel#my aro ass has been sitting still and staring at a wall thinking about this ever since listening to this episode#mannnn i'm just. so completely floored about how good this finale was#juno's been all over the place and his growth has been up and down throughout but like.#it's so nice to hear just how. serene he was this episode#he's doing alright guysss#juno steel is fine#he's accepting affection and expressing it back#i Will be reading massive amounts of fanfiction about juno and nureyev'#s reunion when it comes out but i am super happy it wasn't a part of the episode#i was a bit bummed out for sure cos like. hearing his voice is always a good time#but there's a different between what i kinda want to hear and what i actually want out of the episode#and i got allll i wanted outta this one#also i'm super into urban planning (starting a masters in urban governance in september hihi) so the new town description had me 😈 meow#🤌🤌#juno steel spoilers#tpp#tpp spoilers#the penumbra podcast#i am soo excited to find out which mildly unpleasant to outwardly despicable characters the writers will make us love next as they grow#mannnn now im thinking about caroline again#back to staring at a wall bye
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so who's gonna feed me until i can't get up out of bed on my own 🥺
#srry for inactivity across platforms i was searching for a new place to live and am now moving!#the door is *still* broken and honestly i need a place where i can smoke weed that is easy for delivery drivers to find#and i don't have to limit my groceries to what i'm willing to carry up the apartment stairs#so im moving into a little house it's gonna be adorable and im going to eat myself trapped so the firefighters have to tear the wall down :3#and freezer + pantry space too!!! omg so many gluttonous possibilities#me
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#alex in this interview was one of my earliest inspirations for four walls#so i just had to gif it#it counts as research right?? 😅#but no for real this is SO much how i picture him when i’m writing it#pretty and dreamy and tired and just a little sharp around the edges#not quite settled into his own skin but slightly adrift#still quietly figuring himself out and finding his place in the world#ffs i need to stop rambling into the tags and go and actually write 😭#chapter five is now posted btw for anyone who missed it!#alex turner#alex gifs#arctic monkeys#sias era#four walls#my gifs#lulu posts
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Perhaps the minatour was in the friends we made along the way.
#house of leaves#the part im at has my mind spinning#im connecting dots all over the place to a degree that I almost fear I lost focus much like Zampanò#Im finally out of the “labyrinth” part where the pages get extra silly but the imagery within has stuck with me so much#i was really scared of getting to that part ngl but Ive made it! Now I just have!hundreds more pages and footnotes and appendix pages to go!#yiiipppeeeeee#im traveling this labyrinth so slowly. Running my hand along the wall hoping to find the exit. The light at the end to show ive made it#but theres so many winding turns. so I walk slower. Praying I can at least make it before I grow too weary to continue on#which is to say#im trying to finish this book before it finishes me. I had a headache for a bit trying to get through it lmao
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I'm sorry to anybody who expected me to post smth normal but. /j
these doodles are entirely based off the text of the fic Cyn's Night Out. which is a part from a series of fics that I haven't actually read but!! this particular part of it I have so jdskfjsdkf
I dub these two,,, StillKicking (get it? because,,football?? and Cyn never fucking dies????) anway here slightly more sketchy doodles under the cut:
Your Honor. I need More Of This.
#the arguement scene doesn't actually happened on “screen” (on text?) but it sounded too comical not to fill in the blanks ksdljf#I'm gonna be honest I really just adore rarepairs#I like the weird shit people come up with!!! I think fandoms need more of it#I feel like MD is the only fandom I can find a ship of this “how the fuck did you come to this conclusion”#like??? Theres not a single pairing that hasn't already been thought of. no matter how little fanworks there are of it. somebody knows it#And I love that!!! I want people to be unapologetically throwing shit at the wall and going “hell yeah!” when it sticks!!!#I love Cyn x Thad because who the fuck!!! thinks about that!!!!#but when YOU think abt it its like damn!!! thats actually really fun!!!!!#I love the rarepairs. the weird art. the highly specific AUs.#I love all the things that make people tilt their heads#because it comes from a place of love!!! and I need more of that.#I need to make more fanart for the fics i read. I love alot of em kjdshfsdf#anyway. If the author of this fic ever sees this.#Thank You for making Thad a little bit of a freak. Its my favorite bit of literally anybody whos shipped w/ Thad#like we all agree that boy aint normal. theres no way he can be the only normal member of MD#hes a freak!!!! Also this fic is wonderful and I need more CynxThad now thanks#murder drones#murder drones thad#murder drones cyn#md thad#md cyn#Thad x Cyn#Cyn x Thad#whatever combination you perfer!!!#StillKicking#which im dubbing the shipname of these two#unless you have better suggestions#also always leave my fic suggestions i love that shit.
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#i'm so confused because i wasn't planning to go back to the farm next season but i saw everyone again yesterday#and my bosses reminded me that i have a job next year full time from april to november if i want it and i am really considering accepting i#except i thought i wasn't going back because it's so hard to start a career in farming and i don't think i actually want to own my own farm#and that dream was tied to marrying my ex which is now dead#so i was looking into doula-ing but it's SO hard to find any in person classes at all and it feels like i'm hitting a wall both there#and just hitting a wall everywhere but at the farm which is the only thing that has fallen into place
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I got my cels framed!! :D
#detective conan#meitantei Conan#dcmk#i got custom frames with UV protect glass#and then framed the cels myself#the fact i own original cels from conan is so surreal to me#especially the top one from ep 4 !!!!#still havent found a good place to hang these tho#cels can be delicate so i gotta find a safe wall for them#for now they live under my desk#my post
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Honestly i should probably just slowly start moving my stuff from my bedroom into the spare room ive been staying in for over a year now. Like i know damn well theyre not gonna fix the fucking wall, and i just have my desk and computer in the spare room. Not even a dresser or closet space or a shelf. Or any of my hobby supplies
#text post tag#i need to find a place to go so i can just fucking move out#at the start of november 2023 a pipe broke in wall and ceiling between the upstairs and downstairs#specifically a the pipe that drains water from the kitchen sink and dishwasher. and it flooded two walls and part of the ceinling downstair#which also happened to include the corner of my bedroom where my bed was. and now theres just a huge hole where the water damage is/was#a huge chunk of the drywall and ceiling need to be replaced#and probably some of the insulation since part of it is on the outside-facing wall lmfao#also theres allegedly asbestos in the paint of the walls which is. cool. and fun. i love that.#i have no idea if its true or not because reek fucking lies all the time and idk if he was telling the truth about that#anyways.#i gave up hope that the wall would get fixed about 7 or 8 months ago#so i may as well just move my shit into the room im in now#at least then i could put my fucking laundry away for once#instead of just having it live in a single laundry basket at the foot of the bed. or in a pile that i move between the bed and my chair#ben affleck smoking.jpg
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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hilson coded jason isbell songs…save me..
#“sunrise with the dealers and the dancers / it takes a whole lot of medicine to feel like a little kid”#“everybody dies but you gotta find a reason to carry on / oh and did you ever catch her climbing on the rooftop”#“the fragile heart you protected for so long / or the mercy in your sense of right and wrong”#“i’d carry her to bed and sweep up her hair from the floor”#“surrounded by her family i saw that she was dying alone”#“i buried her a thousand times / giving up my place in line / but i don’t give a damn about that now”#“no one dies with dignity”#i’m clawing at the walls of my enclosure#rattling the bars#GOD#house md#hilson#jason isbell#greg house#james wilson#songs respectively: death wish; if we were vampires; and elephant
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just a few little bits from the past few days
#both the word count screenshots are from the same day - just different sections of the text. so that was like 4000 words in#one DAY.. huzzah!! (< making up for the fact that I did 0 words the 3 days before that lol.. so its not actually an accomplishment ghjjh)#In renpy I think you can have multiple separate texty cody whatever documents and still jump between them so long as they;re#labeled properly. Rather than like... having one extremely long 60.000 line file where in some places youre in a menu within a menu#within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu jhbhj#But that was the way I started doing it lke 5 years ago when I actually made the base of everything so I feel like it'd be too much#work to change it all that dramatically now. But that means I cant just get the word count for the whole document I just have#to jump around to the few sections I worked on and highlight them to get the word count for only that portion#.. the one tiny fraction of the whole monster text wall. Though it is of course spaced out and organized into#clearly labeled sections within that because otherwise I have trouble discerning text on a screen. still.#Resuming a project that's been basically abandoned for 4-5 ish years is just always finding weird stuff like.. why did I do this that way..#why did I write that... why did I organize that in this manner... what the hell am I referencing in this note... etc. lol#Anyway... also......................cat with plum on his head.#everyone point and laugh at mr. plum head boy..!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:3c#I've been obsessed with Calico Critters' social media presence from afar (like how I mentioned one of my possible dream jobs would#be to be the person that sets the scenes and arranges all the toy animals at a tiny little table and etc. to take the type of pictures they#post on their facebook page and stuff) and I see all their photos of them posing the rabbits as if they're in a swimming pool#or on a nature hike or etc. etc. BUT I have never really seen them in person. Recently I was at a store (in a KN95 mask and not staying#very long still of course. wastewater covid levels are still high where I live (and most of the US truly)) and it just crossed my mind#to actually go to the toy section and see if I could find any....wow.... Its like meeting a celebrity.. the Latte Cats....#Of course I didnt buy them because they're like... very expensive?? like $25 - $40 just for one little pack of a few critters like#what is shown. but.... I still got to see them................ my beloved.. I want their outfits... T o T#Oh and then lastly just a pot of purple clover looking things. I just think theyre neat lol#photo diary
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Mark my words, the next country/area we're getting in Infinity Nikki is Cicia.
#theres just too many quests and npcs connected to cicia for it not to be foreshadowing#plus umbreto the other oft mentioned country we've seen is currently in a war with refugees dispersing to wishfield (and maybe other places)#while the nikki series doesnt shy away from war i doubt we'll go there during active fighting without a good reason#and right now theres way more reasons to go to cicia than umbreto#but then again im not really finished with the main quest here in wishfield as i am against the wall that is sovereign battles#well more like all the factions under them#why are the piecey and faewish sprites so hard- my resources to glow up are dwindling fast#as much as i hate gacha mechanics these ones do seem pretty generous when you do pull#i like some of the lower tier pieces better than some of the higher tier ones too so im not too disappointed when i dont pull a 4 or 5 star#as a free to play person im finding i can usually full pull one of the two limited banners and get some of the pieces from the 2nd banner#but yeah incredibly fun game and despite there being a ton of beautiful textures and lighting my computer is taking it well#of course im playing on desktop im sure my phone would explode and my laptop run hotter than the sun#infinity nikki
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love watching weather science videos but like. why am i 1000x more interested in tornadoes over hurricanes. they're both spinning air
#we wanted to be a stormchaser when we were younger#nowadays we have to worry about our health too much to have such a risky high-stress high reaction time job#been watching nothing but tornado history videos for days it's one of our intermittent special interests#stemming from the weather science workbook we OBSESSED over as a kid#would read that thing cover to cover multiple times a week. i was the kind of autistic who would read the Encyclopedia for fun#i actually had a fave encyclopedia entry as a kid and now i cannot fucking remember it 😭#i also learned what sex was through the encyclopedia 😭😭😭😭 was legit my first exposure to the concept#but like even though we watch A TON of weather videos including tons of stuff about thunderstorms and blizzards#(thunderstorms my fucking beloved. favourite weather pattern ever. cumulonimbus my bestest friend <3)#most of the videos we watch are mostly tornado videos. and hurricane videos feel boring to us#even though hurricanes are wayyy more powerful#tornadoes are still fucking powerful it's just more. concentrated#tornadoes to me feel Targeted like. that's weather that says Fuck YOU in particular actually#especially multivortex tornadoes where you can literally have two houses both in the middle of the storm at once#and still only one of them gets destroyed#or like pictures you can see of demolished houses with their mailbox in the yard simply untouched#i like to watch tornado videos bc they help me. prepare. just in case#our state gets hit with tornadoes pretty frequently though not as much as tornado alley#and i like to know all the information for sheltering and what to do in the event of a collapsed building and such#i have a little survival kit in the bathroom just in case with like basic first aid and a radio and bottled water#bc thats probably the safest room for me to be in since it's not near any external walls and also hiding in the tub is usually good#also in the event you're caught on the road during a tornado#DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE shelter under a bridge or overpass#those work basically like straws where as the air gets pushed through it goes MUCH faster and gets dangerous way easier#as far as im aware the best place to be is in a ditch or hole if you absolutely cannot find a shelter in time#if you do not have a car with roll protection then being in your car will probably be worse#NOT AN EXPERT THO pls verify this information on your own if you think it is relevant or necessary i have poor memory and can be stupid#i just know that overpasses are dangerous as hell
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every time u reblog those paintings of coloured squares and rectangles I get so happy
“yay yippee” <- me
omg i’m SO glad u like them i love rothkos sm they make me so happy i’m so glad you like them too!!!
#ask#ive never had the chance to see any irl but i really hope i can one day but there are none close to me :(#they’re so beautiful and i’ve heard that they have such a presence when you see them irl bc no scan or photo can really capture the size#of them and the colors in the scans aren’t 100% accurate from what i’ve heard but i will enjoy them how i can for now#anyway colorblock paintings are so cool but i find a lot of ppl don’t like them as much as my anytime i show someone irl they’re like uh ok#it’s nice ig but they don’t get it and like ik a lot of ppl are like that with modern art but it saddens me…. why can’t they see what#i see in them…. but it’s whatever i think they’re so rad tho like they’re also RLLY FUCKING BIG irl btw like i think most r bigger than me#i think the average size was smth like 5’4 by 4’3 if i’m remembering correctly#and like one i rlly rlly like (orange and yellow. 1956) is like 7’5 by 5’9 so it’s MASSIVE which is so cool like the simplicity of#the color fields with the complexity of the layered colors with teh sheer fucking size of the things omg…. and they display them rlly#well i esp like the rothko chapel’s way of doing it bc it’s a nice clean room with these giant paintings contrasting the walls and the#lighting looks so good like ough i really wanna go but it’s in texas and that’s like a wayyy too long drive lol. but it’s so fucking#gorgeous like no hate to other museums that display them but the bright lighting is not what they’re made for the softness of the chapel#is like so perfect for them and i’ve heard that other places r trying to display them in softer lighting as to recreate the lighting that#rothko would’ve been using while painting them so that’s so fucking cool#i got distracted and forget where i was going w that but i’m SO glad u like them i am trying to spread my love of rothkos to other ppl#i think we all need to appreciate them more bc they’re so awesome
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what if next year i learned how to make mods.. hehe
#for skyrem specifically. i would like to make player home mods :)#mostly bc im super picky abt them. like i have soooo many dealbreakers when it comes to player home features#like 1st of all i dont want mannequins i dont use them and they always bug out and start moving. lmao#2nd of all i dont want any kids' rooms i never adopt kids in this game#3rd of all i dont want any paintings on the walls bc they never look like someone in the game world actually painted them#you can always tell it's just a screenshot or an image from the web. sometimes maybe with a painterly filter applied#4th of all i dont want those custom containers that have a ton of weapons/artefacts/other loot sticking out of them#yknow? like if i find a home mod that is otherwise perfect but for some reason the crown of barenziah is sticking out of a chest. how & why#and like in general i dont want artefacts scattered around the house! why would i have meridia's beacon sitting on a shelf!#5th of all i dont want every single shrine to every single aedra and daedra. preferably no shrines at all#like i get that it's handy when you have all the shrine buffs in one place. i get it. from a gameplay convenience standpoint#but of the two characters i have only heidrun is religious. and even she has a Complicated relationship with religion... as we all know...#6th of all i dont want a staff enchanting station. its ugly and i never use staves#and 7th of all now that i think abt it i could do without a regular enchanting station. since isabeau doesnt use it (cant do magic)#and heidrun also doesnt use it (thinks soul gems are fucked up & unethical)#anyway i gotta figure out how to make my own player homes!!!#i really wanna turn riftweald manor into a player home/criminal hq after mercer frey has been dealt with...#like... sorry thieves guild but isabeau would never sleep in a damp moldy sewer... you do you tho#el.txt
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