#now that im thinking about it there was still so much to resolve and figure out from last arc
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there were other ways calypso and leo’s relationship couldve been written, in this essay i will
this isnt a hot take at all but caleo just has. so many problems. im not gonna list em but anyone who’s read hoo and toa knows
so how could it have been written better? here are my (a non writer who has shit articulation) opinions, please be nice
1. They date, then break up
this feels like a likely thing to happen bcs as we know, leo is notoriously flirty and seeking relationships and calypso falls in love REAL easily. so ofc, being stuck on an island together with no other company for like weeks on end would lead to a relationship of some kind. though i think that relationship would most likely be. unhealthy.
so yeah, theyd get together, but itd probably start showing problems very quickly as we see in TOA. but from there, i think they shouldve broken up. maybe it could be caused by an outside intervention from someone who. maybe has better experience with healthy relationships. jiper being an example, since they broke up after piper realized their relationship was basically started with lies.
once they broke up, leo could learn that romance isnt a cure all (cough rick cough) and that he doesnt need a partner to ‘fit in’. the whole seventh wheel thing was a big part of his characterization so i think unlearning that whole mess would be a good thing for him, esp since TOA had a lot of ‘growing and developing and changing’ as a theme. he could learn to define and support himself outside of his relationship with women (mommy issuesss)
calypso could also learn to support herself and have relationships with people that arent unrequited crushes, what with how her only human interaction was with random men who couldnt stay.
2. They stay as friends
Basically same character benefits as the last one, just different methods.
Leo realizes he doesnt like calypso in that way on the island during that time itself, maybe due to self reflection or something. maybe they have an intervention/impromptu therapy session or something and figure themselves out. not like they have much else to do on the island
this way, we get to see him figure out (is that the right word?) that being friends w/ women isnt automatically a gateway to romance. that its not so simple. that he can have close friends without having to date anyone (+ possible aro rep here but thats just me projecting) then from there, he can develop this further and come to terms that he doesnt need a romantic relationship to be loved etc etc
3. They stay together, but it’s established as. not good
now for this one i think its less likely since this entire thing is still sorta a kids book series and authors dont usually include these types of topics without it being resolved, but it is something to think about
caleo’s relationship in TOA felt pretty icky at least to me, so i imagine it isnt setting the best example for kids if its portrayed as normal/a good thing
in this method, their relationship could stay but just be more established as not normal and unhealthy bcs. it kinda is
anyways thats my ted talk. please dont kill me im bad at articulating
#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo fandom#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#pjo books#leo valdez#the void#leo valdez aroace rep real not fake /j#his worldview does sorta feel like mine pre realising i was demi so#trials of apollo#pjo calypso#thoughts#bad ones probably but oh well
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how would all teyvat people react to discovering the truth of the impostor? Would they ask the BSD cast to see the reader? (Sorry the bad grammar, inglish ins't my first lenguage)
a world of my own
synopsis - in a world of abilities perhaps you had a very unique one
includes - venti, zhongli, ei, nahida, furina
warnings - gn!creator!reader, crossover fic between bsd and genshin!, angst, minor comfort, slight fluff?, small mentions of injuries, wc - 2k
a/n: first post after hiatus! this has been in the works for ages and im so sorry it took so long, i had alot pf fun writing and coming up with ideas for this! :) is this classed as sag!au?
your ability was unique to say the least. abilities were rather unique anyway but yours was a bit more out there than the traditional scope of abilities. you never thought much of it at first, you didn't even realise until later in your life as it was quite difficult to figure.
you can't really make out when you first discovered let alone knew about your ability. because an ability to create life wasn't an everyday occurrence. your ability resolved around your writing, around your ability to craft worlds out of paper and ink and form a world that governs on it's own. with characters that can make their own decisions, with a world that can change according to their actions.
and at the time, you hadn't quite realised the extent of what that meant. so when you decided to craft a world around various nations that resembled that of the real world you didn't think much of it. if anything you found it exciting - especially because you could view the characters you fashioned through the pages and see how they adjusted to their world.
but very quickly you learnt that this world you had created was now it's own. while you could add to it and control it, that wouldn't do for when you were away as you couldn't dote on them 24/7. so you thought that a nice touch would be to add beings named 'archons'. god's who could maintain the lands you created and even give gifts to those the deemed worthy - 'visions'.
but apart from your bustling world that you created, you found other uses for your ability. uses that eventually lead you to having your skill recommended by a man who you briefly met, to an agency. you found him interesting when he approached you because he was no man.
he was a calico, one that could become human and he seemed to know all about your ability. and eventually, with your permission, he recommended you to an old student of his. a student who then accepted your application into the place named 'the armed detective agency'. and that was where you worked, you worked there in return for the protection they were asked to grant you for your ability - because if anyone found out, your life surely would hang in the balance.
the agency took up most of your time nowadays. so much so that by the time you had passed the entrance exam and adjusted to your new work, your world you created had dissolved into chaos. it seemed the archons you created had destroyed a nation you created, killing seemingly all residences.
and you didn't know what to do, you could recreate the nation but they probably would destroy it again. or you could get rid of your archons but they had become so integrated into the world you had no choice other than to let them be. and that probably was the best choice. this world you had created was now just as real as the world you resided in and even as the creator, interfering with what they did would be wrong.
and so you let it be. you still checked periodically on the world however. every night you would spend at least some time watching over your world and entertaining yourself with the experiences your characters had given themselves and the people they had become. but you also liked a more direct interaction occasionally.
as another element to your ability was to cross the threshold of paper and become one with the world you had created before returning to your true world. interacting with your characters face to face and exploring the world they had formed off your foundations of life you granted.
perhaps you also had favourites. and maybe they would find that things started going their way more often or whatever issue they told their new friend became mysteriously solved. however, the archons were slightly more aware, more tuned in to the world around them.
so much more aware that they could tell something wasn't sitting right. the first one to fully deduce what was occuring was the shogun. she had assumed the conclusion that the new person who often visited inazuma and the various other nations was nothing but an imposter. an outlier in their world, someone who threatened her eternity. and so word spread among other archons like wildfire - and they were more than prepared to defend the land they lived in.
when creating tevyat and it's residents you'd never expected them to turn on you. not sparing you the moment to explain or even defend yourself and now you were met with the wrath you gifted your creations. you sought out your shelter back in your real world - re-entering your world in a decreasing state of injury.
not even the agency could believe that the greatest danger came from your own creations. the agency made note to keep an eye on your creations now aswell. but what you hadn't realised, considering you never touched the world you created after, is that the archons had come to realise the misinterpretation. realise they had hurt what was in fact their creator - how else would you bave disappeared from their world completely throigh means of pages and ink? and now they wanted to transcend those same pages to fix their wrong doings. but you both knew it would be impossible right?
venti ★↷
the tone deaf bard. not the original archon you created but the one you returned to. the bard that was an elemental being and now the archon in place of the deceased anemo archon you originally formed. but you still found him rather charming - he had his own quirks per say.
quirks that you never would've guessed would include him becoming so violent and unreasonable when he was convinced you were a threat. but those same quirks made him realise his mistakes rather soon after. if none of the other archons were going to apologize he would be damn sure that he tried.
but unfortunately he had very little idea on how he could break the barrier of paper and ink, to reach you - his creator. he wanted nothing more than to find you and apologize until his voice was hoarse and he could no longer sing. anything for your forgiveness.
but for now all he could do was mellow in his sorrow and wait for someone to devise a plan to get themselves back in your life.
zhongli ★↷
he was an interesting case. perhaps you went a bit too overboard making him both an archon and the geo dragon but you'd call that character building. but regardless, he was another one of the characters you had created with care and that meant he was no different.
he was very wise aswell. but perhaps he wasn't wise enough to question the electro archons actions and instead went along with them. and it was only when he hurt you that he realised who you may be when the ink and paper pulled you out their world. the world he realised you may of created.
the severity of what they might of done weighed heavy upon his mind and he would not rest unless the situation was solved. he needed to clear his and the lther archons conscience and the only way to do so would be to transcend into your world and apologize to their creator. and so he would do anything he can to make that happen.
ei ★↷
you knew your electro archon was more violent than her predecessor. but you couldn't blame her, she had lost alot and now she practically only had one goal in her mind. but you still believed she was fit for running the nation of inazuma and trusted that she would make the right decisions for it.
but you never anticipated this would be a decision she would make. one that caused you the most pain and suffering, most of your injuries sustaining from her. she was the one that decided you were an outsider that posed a threat to her eternity and the entire of tevyat. so maybe that was why she felt so much regret when she found out who you were.
how could she hurt her very creator? however the shogun still held a high pedestal and couldn't really comprehend her emotions so she would be the last to apologise if they ever made it too you. she would want to apologise but she can't.
(platonic!)nahida ★↷
nahida was not buer. she was in some aspects but not the very same from 500 years ago in their world, you guessed it would've been unfair to assume nothing would change. but even so, you adored the young appearing girl that filled the role of sumeru's archon. someone that made a great sacrifice and held vast amounts of knowledge.
she may appear as a young girl but she definitely had the attitude of a mother and you couldn't of been more proud of her. maybe that was why you were massively hurt by her sudden change. and she didn't feel great about it either. she was so reluctant to join and tried reasoning with the other archons that were more violent but nothing worked.
she probably was one of the first to realise who you truly were which only made her guilt worse. now you were gone, they had hurt their creator. and from sumeru's vast knowledge she would be the first to figure how to transcend to fix their mistakes.
furina ★↷
yet again another archon that you had not left in charge - but she was different. you found the sentiment to be rather bittersweet. your original hydro archon being beheaded and in her place the girl she asked to play her role in fontaine's vast tapestry. a human playing a god, guess anything could happen in your world.
furina was also another one that was hesitant to join the archons in their violence. she was rather conflicted and found herself confiding in neuvillette when the other archons realised theor mistake and this world had a creator - one they know hurt.
her regret and guilt made her almost forget completely about the prophecy. she wanted nothing more than to be the first person to break the barriers of pages and apologize. and even perhaps then if she got back in your good book you could help her erase the prophecy.
bonus: neuvillette ★↷
the hydro dragon. you had created the dragons for their respected elements after being motivated to do so - they would add another depth to the world. but the last thing you expected was for each of them to be stripped of their powers and left with the only option but to kill the respective archon for them back.
you hated what this had become but what little could you do now? neuvillette had only known of the situation when furina confided her regret in him. he despised the archons for jumping straight to conclusions and resorting to violence like they did all those years ago. but now all he could do was assist furina in her search to break the barrier of paper and ink.
while he may not have hunted you himself, he still felt as if he owed you an apology some how - and the idea of meeting his creator intrigued him. but residents of fontaine hoped that whatever troubled the hydro dragon would be resolved as it had never rained so much before.
#crossover fic beware!#x reader#x gender neutral reader#bsd x reader#bsd x gender neutral reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x you#bsd x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin venti#venti x reader#genshin zhongli#zhongli x reader#genshin ei#ei x reader#genshin nahida#genshin furina#furina x reader#genshin neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#genshin sagau
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question though like we know the uncomfortable truth for tommy is his past, so what's buck's uncomfortable truth? I feel like that has to be his feelings for Eddie and do I think that means Tommy is jealous absolutely not but I do think Tommy will be the one to pretty much tell Buck it's Eddie and it always will be him.
I too have been musing o bucks uncomfortable truth or truths and I just don’t think his feelings for Eddie are the answer here, all of the interviews have implied fairly heavily that it’s about both of their pasts. It’s also far more satisfying narratively if Buck figures out for himself that he’s in love with Eddie. I could see Tommy saying something when the relationship is ended that sets bucks brain whirring, but I don’t think it’s something that would come up during the relationship.
I’m not sure I have the full answer on what in bucks past it will be, but my current thoughts are connecting dots relating to either the sperm donation coming back up - something that wasn’t really fully resolved and would be interesting from a do you want kids conversation perspective and would potentially be uncomfortable.
Alternatively it could be related to bucks promiscuity and in connection with that his cheating. Which is probably my preferred option to be honest because it ties into my theory that bucktommy are a buckabby redux. Part of me thinks this because of the parallels the two relationships already have - first proper relationship with Abby - first queer relationship with Tommy, the age gap is probably around the same between them, failed dates, both Abby and Tommy being brought up something for Chim (return to work and bachelor party) and there are many more. But the other part of me thinks this because the Abby of it all is one thing in bucks life that has been there since season 1 and has never been given full closure. The bench conversation in 3x16 was deeply unsatisfying as the end to that arc and now is the time to bring it back up and close it out fully. By not having full closure I mean that Abby didn’t really truthfully apologise for how she left etc and she justified her own actions in a way that placed blame onto buck. buck still had very little agency in much of that relationship or it’s ending and her was made to feel foolish for waiting and abandoned. Bucks past relationships etc being the thing of his past that comes up gives him the opportunity to close out all of that - he can end things with Tommy on his sim terms. Abby’s past played a part in her treatment of buck so for bucks past to do the same only for him to do it properly would show so much growth and development for him. It also plays into what else Oliver has said about buck being more confident and self assured.
Of course im probably way off and there is every possibility that we are going to be given some new buck lore and that the thing that is the uncomfortable truth (or whichever of the multiple descriptors Oliver or Tim have given us you’d like to go for) hasn’t yet been revealed to us.
#kym answers things#nicossolaceo asks#911 spoilers#evan buckley#911 abc#thinking thoughts#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard
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the sound
*emerges from finals covered in blood* IM ALIVE *throws this down* *leaves*
anyway, enjoy a little showing of how coren is kept in line!
cws: brainwashing/conditioning, sensory overload (sort of), willing brainwashing
Coren's head isn't working right. It feels all floaty, not quite attached to its body. By the time it got back to where it was supposed to be it was already late in the day and it was too exhausted to give a proper explanation of why it was so late and what it was doing last night. It just begged forgiveness as much as it could when it couldn't think in coherent sentences, much less speak, and now it's sitting on a chair putting all its strength into staying upright and waiting patiently to be told what its punishment is.
It hopes it's the noise. It really, really hopes that. Not just because the alternative is being alone and it can't bear being alone, but because it's so tired and it can't think straight and the noise will help with that, it always does. It'll fix Coren. Make them able to do their job again. Coren wants to be able to do a good job. They want to so badly.
Its head hurts so terribly, which is good, because if it didn't it thinks it would probably slide right off the chair and collapse onto the ground, but it hurts, it hurts so much, the lights are too bright in here and their thoughts are chasing each other in circles and their ears are starting to ring–
"–ren? Coren?"
Coren blinks and squints at the blurry figure in front of them until it resolves into the shape of Erica, their...manager, or handler, or whatever it is you want to call her.
"Hi, Erica," they mumble. "I don't feel good."
"I can tell that," Erica says with a raised eyebrow, and Coren shrinks back in shame. "What are you holding?"
Coren turns their head to stare at the spatula clutched in their hand. "I, um...dunno."
Erica sighs. "Well, I don't have time to pry it away now. Come on. We've decided you need some more time with the Sound."
Coren perks up immediately and follows behind Erica obediently, mustering their protesting body through the few steps with the promise of soon, soon, soon.
The noise room is empty and white and clean, and Erica shoves Coren inside in a way they'd protest usually but today are grateful for.
The door shuts behind them, and there's a slight click from the speakers, and then the Sound comes on.
It's like white noise but more, resounding, near-deafening, filling the room and your mind until you can't hear yourself think, let alone scream.
(They did use to scream, didn't they? They almost remember that, every time they come in here. But it never sticks— the sound takes it away, and besides, they don't want to remember something so unpleasant.)
Coren sighs, slumping bonelessly to the floor, a dazed smile spreading across their face. The noise drowns out any thoughts, rises and falls in waves, crashing against Coren's brain and gently smoothing away all the pesky contradictory thoughts that had been nagging at them. The ache of starvation fades from their limbs, and the haze of sleepiness melts from their mind. Everything is fine. Everything is alright.
(but milo–) shhhh (but i have to–) shhhhhh (i'm still hungry–) shhhh (i can't rememb–) shhhhhhhh
This is so nice. Coren doesn't need to worry now. What was there to worry about, anyway? They're safe. The Company has them. The Company loves them.
Their fingers loosen, and the spatula drops from their hand, forgotten.
that's right! it was an EMOTIONALLY SIGNIFICANT SPATULA this whole time! haha!
taglist: @whumpsoda @snakebites-and-ink
#october's whump#oc: coren#whump#brainwashing#conditioned whumpee#Emotionally Significant Spatula#story: tadikm
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i dont think i ever explained what happened and what my plans were about… anything
but to summarize: my mom was murdered in a way that left my younger brother orphaned. on top of my mom making me promise to take care of my brother if anything happened to her, the only people other than me who could take care of him were old, not in great health or both
so willow and i moved back to my hometown from multiple states away and have been in to middle of figuring out two estates and custody of my brother since hes a minor
my mom still had me on her medical and car insurance so weve also been trying to figure out the legality of that and how both my brother and i were going to get medical care (medical insurance has since been resolved. not sure what im going to do without her car insurance atm)
because of how messy legally everything has been im essentially on call 24:7 for estate stuff and my brother. every time i sit down to do something else i get a call or email about one of the two
i want to start streaming on twitch again but the place were staying right now needs repaired. we emergency scooted into a unit that was just vacated and the prep for new tenants wasnt done yet. the biggest hurdle being whats going to be the office needs the carpet replaced pretty bad. a lot of the other damage is annoying but livable and can be done at a much slower pace
so once thats done ill be able to start streaming again. idk if ill continue the play throughs i started or start over with something else. its been long enough that while i had the vods my plans for how i was going to finish the games have completely left my brain. plus if i start streaming this month id want to play halloween games anyways so well see
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Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 13
Wait, what? A few days earlier from when????
Wait, I thought she wasn't allowed to say anything about the future. How does giving her brother winning lottery numbers not count?
Dude, that is literally your job. He escaped from your custody in the first place!
I mean it sounds bad when you say it like that...
She should form a 'time travel compulsive liar' club with Shen Wei
Well now her mum know she was lying because Sunjae just showed up, and Sunjae has just figured out she was faking having gone back to the future. Im Sol is going to be in so much trouble!
I see this a lot in dramas. Do Korean phone messages really know if the phone has been turned off or is it just a plot device?
Sunjae is apparently way more worried about her than her own mother
I mean I can see why she's freaking out. She's already in the past, and she's run out of time travel attempts (still not sure why that is) so if something happens to him now there's no way for her to fix it. Even if she hadn't run out of time travel attempts can she even go further back into to past? All three times she's travelled from 2023 and she's never gone further back than when she ended up the first time.
Oh, no, but if the serial killer is watching her then he now knows that the cops are there. Oh no.
Yeah, sure, why bother looking for him when his face is on some posters. I do admire their commitment to doing a little as possible. All of the useful things they've done are only because Im Sol told them to. And the dude escaped 5 mins after they caught him.
Oh no she screamed for help and scared him off and now he's run into Sunjae instead. That's going to do nothing to help with the huge amound of guilt she already has.
OH SHIT!
Oh no and now the sad Jongho song is playing this is not good
Holy fuck he just went off the cliff! I mean I guess this isn't the end because, you know, it's not the end and there's still another 3 episodes left but I have no idea how this is going to get fixed this time! Wow.
Well shit.
Aww no he's a soloist now I DON'T LIKE THIS
I feel like I've seen him in something before but according to MDL I have not. Although Under the Queen's Umbrella is on my to watch list
Ah, there she is. This is what I love most about her. And obv I am sad about Sunjae but I am sure that will get resolved before the end.
Ooh I think this is the first time we've seen Taesung in the present day
Taesung is a cop now? Aww he followed in his dad's footsteps in the end. Maybe he'll be a bit more efficient
I do like that while she's clearly still grieving for Sunjae she remembered what he said about saving her being his choice so she's trying to respect that choice. And there's time for drunken angry resignation letter shenanigans
(Brian Blessed voice) SUNJAE'S ALIVE?????
HE TIME TRAVELLED AS HE WAS DYING!!! I was trying to figure out how this was going to get fixed and this didn't even cross my mind. I love that nothing in this drama is predictable
Okay, he didn't time travel but that's when his watch became a new time machine and Im Sol used it so that she never met Sunjae at all. THIS IS SO TRAGIC.
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im too scared to ask because of the answer but is Hed and Les relationship ok?
(you should be scared)
They love each other unconditionally and are closer than most siblings, and I want to answer with a definite yes, but it’s more of a soft yes.
They’d die for each other and would never want to cause each other any harm, but they both hold very deep-rooted and painful resentment toward each other. This anger, while valid on its own, feels unjustifiable and selfish to both brothers, and is why they have a hard time addressing it. It only starts to get resolved later (for now I’m aiming at the time frame after Floyd leaves the band and before Les runs into him again, which is Hed’s late twenties and Les’s early thirties) when Les finally opens up to Hed about things that happened during their early childhood in the Rock Kingdom, which Hed was too young to comprehend or remember, and this revelation puts a lot of things into perspective for Hed and is extremely cathartic for both of them.
Like I’ve mentioned, Les didn’t talk to Hed about his trauma, (they are four years apart which is a big gap when you’re a kid), and Hed could never fully understand why Les had taken him with him to the Funk Kingdom. It’s a question he never receives an honest answer to, and it’s something he (although unwillingly/with doubt) resents him for since he had a difficult childhood in Vibe City as the only tiny Rock Troll who always got othered and excluded, even bullied.
There is also the related issue where Hed doesn’t understand why his brother is so troubled and disconnected, because he’s under the impression that they’ve more or less been in the same boat all their lives. That it’s always been them against the world. He even thinks Les had it better than him since he is half Funk and sticks out less like a sore thumb among a Funk society than Hed does…
I realize I’ve never addressed this directly, even though I figure some of you probably assume it already, but Les is a deeply depressed character and has been like this since he was very young (similar to Branch, although it’s expressed differently), and he has occasional episodes where he spirals and even becomes suicidal. The first time it happened and he tried to go through with it, Hed was only 8-10 years old, and the fact that his big brother was willing to end it all and leave him alone shook Hed’s entire world. The incident filled him with such intense fear and hurt that he cannot find it in him to forgive his brother for it no matter how much he wants to. He also developed anxiety surrounding Les’s mental state and is terrified of letting him out of his sight for longer periods for fear of losing him.
Les’s resentment towards Hed stems mostly from jealousy and not knowing where to direct his own hurt, and he hates himself for these feelings because none of it is Hed’s fault. — Hed is/was both of their dads’ favorite son, and as far as Les is convinced, he was their mom’s favorite too. He dodged all the worst abuse Les experienced under Butch, Butch even flaunted Hed as his son just to put Les down, and as a little kid Les pretty much hated his baby brother for it. Hed was always seen as the “better” brother even though Hed was a loud brat compared to Les. But it didn’t take long for him to grow on Ish and his roommates while there was always tension between Les and his dad (due to Les already being deeply messed up by the time they got to Ish). Hed in general is a charismatic social butterfly who knows how to get on trolls’ good side. He vibes with both Rock and Funk Trolls, and clicks with most music and trolls in general, while Les struggles with social interactions that aren’t work related and often comes off awkward, especially as a teenager, he’s more casual in his twenties and onward, though still very much closed off.
Hed is also very smart (academically. in regards to reading the room, he is a dumbass), he always kept up with school, which he was allowed to attend without question, there was even early talk about uni, while Les never even got to finish elementary school because of his poor performance and him getting expelled over an incident, and was forced to start working early.
Hed also (because of his small size) was often let off the hook when he’d get into trouble/do something stupid. He was babied (word used loosely) by Ish and their uncles a lot in general. If Hed broke something, he’d get yelled at while Les would have to fix it or pay for it out of his pocket.
They lived under two completely different sets of rules all their lives and Les festered a lot of hurt from the unfairness of it.
Les’s resentment wanes over time. Floyd is the one who helps him find release for a lot of his bottled up pain during their time together. Floyd is basically the first person Les confides in about nearly everything he was put through, and he encourages Les to talk to Hed about it. Which he does after a few years, and Hed learning about what his brother was put through as a little kid is what allows him to finally understand and forgive his brother…
#PS i have cried during the writing of this#trolls#dreamworks trolls#ex bandmates#answered#trolls oc#hed#les#these two will be the death of me#suicide mention
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Hiii :) it’s me again, the anon who yapped about fanon Vox, I’m here because I need to yap again: I’m kinda worried about season 2
After rewatching season 1, I felt like the stakes weren’t high enough for Charlie & the Hotel. One would think going into battle against Heaven would be devastating and disastrous but the only characters that permanently died were…background characters. I don’t count Sir Pentious because bro is alive and will most likely have a bigger role to play in the story now that he’s in heaven. The hotel was destroyed, yeah, but like minutes later it was rebuilt with the help of Lucifer.
That’s another reason why I feel like the stakes aren’t high enough, they added Lucifer way too soon. How are Vox & other future villains meant to stand a chance against the King of Hell?? I think it would’ve been better if took Charlie a couple of seasons to convince her dad to help her cause.
My main worries for season 2 are about Vox because I can’t stop thinking about him LMFAO. Anyways, I’m scared Vox will be a second Adam, goofy villain that gets killed off pretty quickly and anti-climactically. Vox was already a silly villain in season 1 (sending Pentious to the Hotel as a spy, cheering when Alastor got his ass beat, etc, etc.) so it’ll feel like a waste if they continue writing him that way. I want Vox to be an actual threat and kill one of the main characters PERMANENTLY. Preferably Angel Dust cause it’ll cause a shit ton of discourse since he’s well-loved by both the characters in-universe and the fandom but I don’t think that’ll happen. I just need Vox to lock in 🙏
Don’t get me wrong, I love Hazbin Hotel (only because of Alastor & the Vees but shhh 🤫) but I want the story to evoke emotions from me, I wanna be anxious, I wanna feel hyped, but I don’t feel any of this when things go too perfectly for the main characters and everything goes wrong for the antagonists.
I’m so sorry for the long ass essay, I would make my own post but I don’t wanna be perceived 😭😭
oh i completely understand ur worries nonny dont even worry about the essay
i definitely feel like theres a Risk of that happening to vox especially since . well. vivz doesnt have the best track record to begin with (cannot speak for hb but the way she deals with some characters and resolves their arcs is. questionable) but i personally think (hope? believe?) that since there are members on the writing and animation team who are fans of the vees that she wont just kill vox off for no reason / comic relief(or any of the vees, really) + also of all the vees vox is probably the most likely to die in a dramatic scene considering how he and al are set up to be character foils and killing him off in the stupidest way would be such a horrific storyline fumble i cannot in good conscience believe that vivziepop would even be able to fathom its stupidity. of course im holding out hope still because if theres one thing ive learnt about the internet its that you do not under any circumstances trust any public figures to make the right decisions ever and this applies to animated shows too.
vox killing someone forever would really manage to cement his place in the storyline as a big baddie, but i do have to disagree on wanting angel dead- personally- and as much as it pains me to say this- i think him killing husk or niffty would have the same effect while not interfering with angels healing arc: in fact itd even further angels healing arc and self discovery, alongside giving alastor a reason to perhaps go toe to toe with vox. (i do think that killing angel off would have an interesting result but it feels like an abrupt and unnecessary move to make, tho it may just be ny preference to want to see recovery arcs fulfilled so those characters can live their best lives)
++re what you said ab the hotel not having enough stakes for the next season, i totally agree- bringing in lucifer feels a bit like a cheap copout and didnt really serve to further **charlies** character arc (arguably you could say making up with her father developed her backbone more but. hm. idk you couldve done that in a multitude of other ways sooo)
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Omg I absolutely love the little drabble you wrote! I’d love to hear you ramble about Avery and the oc
thank you so much for enabling me god bless
oh i should preface this whole thing with a big old trigger warning for pregnancy and miscarriage talk
alright so! let's start with the oc. her name is saffron elwood, and she was college sweethearts with toshi. they both knew they were going to break up at graduation, so they both were very much focused on the now together. like, this was all they were going to get with each other, so they should make the most of it.
saffron called toshinori "toshi" obviously and toshi called her "saffy". they were DISGUSTINGLY cutesy. my sincerest apologies to dave for having to put up with the both of them.
anyways. they were great together, but like they knew was going to happen, they broke up at graduation and toshi went home. little did either of them know at the time- saffron was pregnant. when she found out, she was torn- of course she was still keeping in touch with toshi, they might've broken up but not because of any real conflict between them. but they had just broken up because toshi was afraid she'd get hurt because of him. and she didn't want him to think she was trying to guilt him into coming back, nor did she want him to give up or put his dreams on hold for her.
so... she didn't tell him. she was torn on what to do her whole pregnancy. dave and his then-girlfriend (who would later become his wife) helped her out tremendously as emotional support, though dave really, really hated how she wasn't telling toshi about this.
her baby was going to be a girl, and saffron had decided on the name "anna" for her, kind of a little nod to toshi's mentor/mother figure, nana. and in the end, saffron had resolved to tell toshi about her pregnancy. then she found out she'd miscarried at 7 months.
to say saffron was devastated would be an understatement. saffron was so, SO ready and excited to be a mother, with or without toshi in her life. she dealt with a lot of grief, depression and self loathing in the wake of her miscarriage, and that self loathing led her to never telling toshi after all. she felt this was her burden to carry, since she blamed herself and her body for anna's death.
during this time, saffron met the man who would become her husband. i have not named him so if anyone's got suggestions, im all ears. her relationship with him helped her through the worst of it, and they got married. toshi attended the wedding and pretended like his heart wasn't breaking. after this, toshi and saffron do start to drift apart. by the time mha begins, they haven't spoken in 10 years.
i should preface this part with the fact that saffron and her husband were genuinely happy in the beginning and everything im about to say takes place over like. years and years.
anyways. saffron and her husband tried many, many times to have kids. saffron miscarried every time, and it took a toll on her. but her husband kept insisting that this time it would work out, this time their child would make it, just...not really accepting that saffron did not want to try anymore. she'd rather adopt children than put herself through this pain and guilt over and over again. her husband had this really weird thing about their kids being their biological children, though- every time she brought up adoption, he'd shoot it down. she ended up getting her tubes tied in secret so she could never get pregnant and suffer through that loss again.
saffron had been thrown into a pretty deep depression because of all of this, and ended up going to therapy and being prescribed depression meds. she slowly started to get better- this is the part she always stresses when she tells this story (which isn't often). she was getting better. but her depression meds made her gain weight, and suddenly her husband wouldn't touch her anymore. wouldn't look at her the way he used to. he'd assure her that of course he still loved her, of course he still found her sexy.
but it still didn't surprise her all that much when she found him in bed with another woman.
so, saffron got her ass out of there. she divorced him, cut all ties with him, even as he begged and pleaded for her to take him back.
and the day her divorce was finalized, saffron started the paperwork on adopting a child. she had wanted to be a mother for years, and goddamnit, she was going to be one.
obviously, avery turned out to be that kid. she was 8 years old when saffron adopted her, and had given up on being adopted, because avery was quirkless.
( a nasty byproduct of quirked society is that kids with good quirks get adopted more often than kids with weak quirks. kids who are quirkless seldom get adopted at all )
however, it took very little time to saffron to decide to adopt her- not out of any sense of pity, but because she could just feel in her bones that she and avery were meant to be family.
avery is in the same year as izuku & co, and she very much likes to give off tough, cool girl vibes. she played hockey back in the states (and is desperately trying to get a team set up at ua), and is currently throwing herself into computer studies and learning programming and stuff. see, avery never planned on going to ua for the hero course, because the hero course wouldn't teach her what she wanted to learn. the kind of hero she wants to be is someone like oracle, from dc comics. a cool hacker with all the intel, who can direct the flow of battle even though she's far from it physically.
anyways, avery wants to go to ua, so saffron and avery move to japan before avery's last year in middle school. guess which middle school she goes to for that third year. guess.
of course avery attaches herself to izuku immediately- besides her godsister melissa, he's the only other quirkless kid she's met. avery also has a strong sense of justice and no qualms about getting into fights with bullies, even if it does give her mother a headache.
it's through avery's friendship with izuku that saffron and toshi finally reconnect, and eventually rekindle their relationship. as saffron tells him later, "you have no idea... you're so easy to love, toshi."
OH ALSO LAST THING but saffron's quirk is Mend: she can undo a specific amount of time on an object, which frequently just looks like fixing or cleaning something.
#anyways. here is The Lore#jesus this got long#tw pregnancy#tw miscarriage#oc: saffron elwood#oc: avery elwood#mha oc
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No Chance Showmance
Robin Buckley x Munson reader showmance AU
(Plus a little hellcheer)
Based on this request
Trigger warnings: angst, alcohol, mentions of homophobic parents, cursing, not proofread
(Let me know if I missed anything)
•••
“Come on, please?” you plead, giving Robin over exaggerated puppy dog eyes.
Robin can't help but think of how unfair it is that just a bat of your eyelashes can have her resolve breaking. Robin was somehow secretly happy that there was no way you knew that. Robin looked to Steve for some help but Steve shook his head.
“Sorry, Rob. if she managed to rope me into this shit then you're definitely a lost cause. it would probably be best if you just gave in now." Steve shrugged from the workbench he was setting up to help with set building.
“It’ll be fun, I promise.” you assure her, “you just need to do the spotlight when the stage manager says so. You’ll have plenty of practice beforehand, and I know this probably won't count for much, but we'll get to see each other more than we have lately.” You smile and then hesitantly make another point, hoping for something, “and maybe you’ll meet someone? You’re always saying how hard it is to put yourself out there and find someone.” The thought made your throat feel tight, you wait for some confirmation but Robin just shrugs and sighs.
It was true that During rehearsal seasons robin and steve rarely saw you. They worked the days you had rehearsal, and then you and Keith worked on days when you didn't. The promise of more time with you does sound appealing but robin still isn't sure. Rehearsals with you mean skipping band practice with Vickie.
“The show is in like two weeks, though. Are you sure that's enough time for me to-”
“More then enough time. I mean if steve can build and paint a set piece for us in that amount of time, im sure you could figure out the lights. I wouldn't ask if I really didn't need your help.”
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
The pure joy on your face and the bear hug you gave Robin was enough to assure her that she was making the right decision.
•••
Robin spent a lot of the next week with Mark, a somewhat gruff but passionate lightboard operator with a nasty habit of forgetting his cue. Much to Robins relief and your delight, she was pretty good at lighting. She subbed for mark in a few rehearsals, along with doing the spotlight and somehow managed to make the show run smoother than it did with the two of them.
Rehearsals went late fridays and started early saturdays, which is why you suggested robin stay at yours for a sleepover so you wouldn't have to pick her up in the morning. And so friday night after rehearsal you drove robin with you to your house.
It was rare for you and robin to spend time with just the two of you. Normally steve and sometimes dustin would be a part of the group. Or it would be you and Steve and everyone else and Robin would be with her band friends. So as the both of you sat in the car you both appreciated the rare moment of silence you got to share.
“Hey.”
You turn to robin and raise your eyebrows before looking back at the road.
“Yeah?”
“You're really great up there.” robin says quietly and you do your best to ignore the blush that creeps up to your cheeks.
“I really try but i think im probably one of our weaker links.” you shrug and robin sits up a bit more.
“No. mark is one of our weaker links, you- you're the fucking ringleader. I've never seen someone demand attention from a crowd the way you do.” robin realizes her babbling and clears her throat, “i-I mean, the theatre group is small, and everyone is so passionate about this, but i don't think theyd get anywhere with actually putting on the show without you.”
You're momentarily stunned into silence by the sheer sincerity in robins voice.
“Th-thanks. I, um, i've never really seen it that way- seen myself that way.”
“Anytime.”
The drive is quiet until you pull into the driveway of the old trailer. When the two of you get to yours and eddies shared room Robin is thoroughly interested in every little thing, fawning over the movie posters on your walls and the little figurines on your desk and bookshelf.
“It’s just kid stuff.” You shrug, taking her jacket from her and hanging it on the back of her door.
“Well we’re kinda still kids right? And plus it’s cool.”
“You’re cool.” You mock lamely but Robin just snorts. You really can’t help but smile, “I’m not good at the whole conversation thing.”
“It’s okay, I’m not the best either.” Robin shrugs.
“But give me a script and I can knock that shit out pretty well.”
“I know that much.” Robin smiles.
You like it when you can make her smile. You don’t think you’re funny most of the time but Robin makes you feel like you could be a comedian. She thinks you're funny, she listens to you and you like listening to her rambling.
You find yourself so focused and enthralled with her lips, watching them move as she talks, until she stops and you’re still staring. And then you’re moving closer to her, eyes still fixed to her lips, lost in the thought of what it might be like to be familiar with the feeling of them against yours.
You barely realize you’re giving into your impulse. Her lips are slightly chapped but still pillowy and sweet.
You think she’s kissing you back but then she’s gently pushing you away.
And you’re mortified when she looks at you, awkwardness settling over you and the uncomfortability of it has you rambling an apology as you stumble backward and get away from the house,waving Robin sitting there in your bedroom, utterly stunned. By the time she finds it in herself to run after you you’re so far ahead of her. She catches up to you though, holding onto your shoulder to stop you, fighting to get air back into her lungs.
“I’m sorry Robin, I shouldn’t have-“
“You didn’t do anything wrong I just-“
“You just what?” You sniffle.
“I like someone else- I mean I don’t not like you but i-“ she begins babbling but it’s not as comforting as usual. Now it feels like you’ve been stabbed in the stomach and the knife is being twisted and pulled upward.
You now understood what it meant when someone said they felt gutted.
“It’s fine Robin. There’s a landline in the kitchen, Steve can drive you to rehearsal tomorrow I just- I need to take a walk.”
Robin looks utterly conflicted as she slowly turns and makes her way back to the trailer.
•••
You stumble up to the trailer, your body feeling sort of heavy but you're riding on a high. The kind of high that numbs every sensation and makes every thought a little bit fuzzy.
You fumble with your key for a little bit before the door opens on its own, Eddie standing there giving you a concerned look.
“Eddie! How are you?” you smile, giving him a big hug, almost face planting in the process.
“I’m good? What’s going on with you? Are you drunk?” He asks you, holding out his arms to stabilize You so you don’t fall over.
You nod dazily, “mhm, ‘m just having a good time y’know?”
“Eddie? Who is it?” A voice from inside asks and you raise your eyebrows at Eddie.
“Is that Chrissy?” you whisper shout to him.
“Yeah, that’s her. Come on, let’s get you inside, you need lots of water and bread and sleep.” He hums to you, leading you into the house where a pretty blond girl is standing in the middle of the living room, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet.
“Chrissy!” you gasp, stumbling forward and away from your cousin to give her a hug.
“Hey, Hon. Is everything alright?” She asks you, leaning away from you and holding onto you as you slightly sway.
“Hm, I don’t- I don’t know… Chrissy, when a girl tells you she likes you, and you kissed her but she stopped the kiss and tells you that she likes you but she also likes someone else, what does that mean? Does that mean she like, likes you or does that mean that she doesn’t like you like that but doesn’t want to make you feel bad? And either way, how do you deal with that? Because this girl, she’s adorable,” you gush, smiling as Chrissy leads you to sit on the couch next to her, Eddie just standing there awkwardly, “she’s so cute and she’s smart and she’s funny and she does this really cute thing when she’s nervous where she starts rambling nonsense and sometimes I’ll try and make her nervous just to hear her talk but I don’t know… because I really thought she liked me, but then I kissed her.”
“Did she get mad at you for kissing her?” Chrissy asks you, coaxing you into drinking a sip of what you’re guessing was the water Eddie had been drinking before you got here, judging by the one at your usual place on the couch.
“Not really? I don’t know?y’know? Like, she didn’t push ‘m away and I think she was kissing me back for a moment but then just… pulled away,” you slur, your bottom lip starting to jut out a little , “and when I asked’er if I did something wrong she said no but she just moved so far away from me and then she told me she didn’t mind, and she wasn’t mad but that she liked someone else and I don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?” Chrissy asks you, looking over at Eddie.
“She’s not mad? And also she likes someone else? But I don’t think she’s straight because she said she didn’t mind kissing me but if she didn’t mind kissing me and she’s not mad than what’s the matter? She looked so… repulsed by me, almost, she just looked so uncomfortable and her face like… it scrunched up but not in the cute way it does when she’s laughing, no it was like when someone calls you a fag from the side of the road, because that’s such a creative way of making it known You're insecure but I just- I really thought she might like me, i really thought that maybe she could care for me in any other way than platonically…”
you think you started crying somewhere in there.
Your lip quivers as you talk, your eyes welling up with tears, “maybe it was stupid, y’know. Maybe I’m just unlovable. I mean I wouldn’t blame her or my parents or my old friends or even my new friends, I’m a mess. A stupid, unlovable mess.”
You huff a little, trying not to cry and failing miserably.
Eddie sighs, his hand tucked into his back pockets, “you’re not unlovable, I mean you’re definitely a mess don’t get me wrong but you are very easy to love. Now come on, we’ve got to get you something to drink-”
“Whiskey coke please.”
“We’ve got to get you some water to drink,” he corrects and Chrissy laughs a little. Eddie looks up at her, his eyes adoring as she gets up, grabbing your hand and looping her arm through your, “and then we’ll get you some medicine and food but first you’ll take a nap and you’ll feel all better. Okay?”
You just nod, letting Chrissy drag you to yours and Eddie's room. you pull off your shoes, falling onto eddies bed and hugging the teddy by his pillow.
Eddie covers you up with a blanket, kissing your forehead like Wayne does when you’re sick and taking the hair tie out of your hair,setting it in the dresser before closing the curtains and the door.
you don’t fall asleep immediately, though you feel yourself wanting to.
Instead you cry a little, trying to sob as quietly as you can, though small whimpers still escape your lips every time you have to breathe a little.
you hold the blanket close to your frame, tucking your face into the stomach of the teddy bear.
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
You don’t know what you were thinking.
Your own parents couldn’t find it in themselves to love you after they found out what you are, how could you expect her to?
You can’t help but feel a little grief as you think of your parents.
You missed them, you missed hugging my mother after having a hard day and just needed a good hug, you miss car rides with my dad where neither of us would talk but we still enjoyed each other’s company, you miss going to the drive in to watch old movies from when they were your age with them, you miss listening to the radio in the kitchen with your mother on holidays.
You just miss not feeling like youre stuck floating. you hate feeling like you don’t really belong anywhere.
You can’t help but feel like the most massive screw up, your parents hate you, Robin probably won’t want anything to do with you today, you’re just kind of lost.
You sniffle, wiping your nose on your sleeve.
Your nose is stuffed up and you can feel the headache from both the crying and the alcohol starting to form itself and you sigh to yourself, wiping your cheeks and closing your eyes. Maybe you can sleep off the headache.
But before you can drift off completely you hear quiet voices in the hallway, “is she gonna be okay?”
“She’ll be fine, she just needs to rest and take some time to herself. In the meantime I’ve got a band geek to murder.” You hear your cousin's hushed voice retort.
“Eddie.” You Can hear Chrissy's smile in her voice, “it just happens sometimes. Feelings are complicated. I’m sure the other girl feels terrible about how this went down too. It just comes with the territory.”
“I just- she’s still a kid. She shouldn’t have to be feeling shit like this.” Eddie shrugs and you hear Chrissy snort, “what?”
“You’re not much older than her.”
“I am three and half years older than her for your information.” Eddie retorts and you can hear Chrissy giggle quietly.
“She’s not a little kid anymore, Eddie.”
“Oh don’t say that. She’s still a little kid, she’ll always be a little kid. I could take her to a candy store right now and she’d go nuts.”
“Eddie.” Chrissy warns.
“I know. She’s almost grown up. Which sucks cause it means I’m getting old.” He drags out the word ‘old’.
“Hey, If you’re getting old then I’m getting old. We are both still glowing youthfully.”
You hear Eddie laugh and sigh, “fine. I’m still gonna go and fight that band kid though.”
“Edward Munson.”
“Full name? That stings.” Eddie says dramatically and Chrissy laughs again as their voices recede down the hall.
•••
Might do a part two but I’m not sure
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okay I’ve been reading your magnum opus fic and I’m at the chapter with fluttershy and the manticore and GOOD GOD this fic is amazing. Your writing of twilight is stunning. Her steadfast belief in science at the start seemed odd but now that her past bullying has been revealed it feels like she was just clutching to the one thing that couldn’t hurt her. God sunset getting possessed is so cool and I am TERRIFIED of when twilights going to be forced to see her like that. Your characterization of Celestia blows me away, she’s this perfect mix of a loving mentor and a woman who would do ANYTHING to keep her demons locked away. I really like how you write that there’s this shift between her when she is talking to twilight normally vs when she’s talking about magic. She goes from loving to almost cold, it’s brilliant! I’m halfway through fluttershy’s chapter and good god. Applejack’s speech about it not being Twilights fault she got bullied and having to trust her in spite of all that has happened nearly brought me to tears but GOD. Twilight being a bit possessed by the manticore is such a cool shift from the original episode it makes it all so much more intense. Fluttershy and twilight talking about how twilight didn’t deserve to be bullied and it’s alright that she didn’t get over it!!
“Something’s wrong with me,” she whispered back, her mouth dry with guilt. Fluttershy nodded carefully, the stinger still inches away from her throat. Twilight didn’t trust herself to move, and instead added, “I don’t mean just right now. There’s still—” She choked on her words. “I didn’t get over it,” she said instead. “I couldn’t. Not like you.”
Like!!! This bit right here fucked me UP. Your descriptions of the emotions she’s feeling and how she’s expressing it physically between her mouth and her voice and how the wings and scorpion tail are reacting are BRILLIANT!!
Twilight didn’t try to move away. “But I’m not better,” she admitted. Fluttershy’s hand brushed against her cheek, gently tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “And I don’t know why.”
This line is the one that broke me and made me write this. GOD. I don’t have words besides just. oh my god. Fluttershys gentleness is so good and so heartbreaking and I love it
I’ll be honest I’m not yet sure how to write long comments on fimfiction, but when I finish this fic you’re eithering getting a long ass ask in your inbox or a comment on there if I figure it out. Love this fic so far!!! Ah!!!!
AHHHHHH tysm for taking the time to write such a lovely comment!!! like holy shit you have just given me enough serotonin for WEEKS omg, it makes me so happy to know that you're enjoying the story!!
celestia is a rlly interesting chara to me, and im super happy w how the version of her in the fic turned out! actually, most of the reason for the 30k epilogue jumpscare is that i really needed to properly resolve her "arc" with twilight, so if you are a fan of this version of her please look forward to that! and, sunset as a "villain" was something we only saw briefly in eqg1 (and for my tastes, i wasnt a huge fan of how it was done) but there's so much POTENTIAL there i couldnt help myself in exploring it :)
chapter 5->act 2 is the real "turning point" i guess of the fic in terms of tone, and even tho it was a struggle to write shy's chapter i think over time i've rlly come around to liking how it turned out :D in the fic i ended up writing fluttershy as more of a later season version of herself (less cowardly maybe?), but the essence of her chara to me is someone who can be kind even in situations when she is receiving unkindness in return. and sometimes, this "fighting fire with kindness" is actually the only solution, and one that only shy can find.
wahhh i never know how to properly express how much i love and appreciate these sort of detailed responses, so please also accept a little doodle of the scene you mentioned liking as part of my thanks!
#FOLDING THIS ASK UP PUTTING IN MY POCKET KEEPING IT FOREVER#tysm again i appreciate u so much!!!!#lili talking#tte#mlp fanfic#my art#twilight sparkle#scitwi#fluttershy
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October 1 2024
I was diagnosed with Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia (IST) last month. i finally have an answer to my heart issues. i was also diagnosed with ADHD which explains so much in my life and im happy i can get that figured out. my doctor now instead of blaming my heart, fatigue and joint issues on anxiety is now blaming that on the meds (minus my heart issues. proved her wrong lol) and i keep telling her it’s not the meds and something is seriously wrong.
other news i still haven’t talked to my mom and it’s been almost 3 months. i was thinking about what i want to say to her to try and resolve our issues but it made me nauseas. idk what to do about it. she’s immature and cant communicate healthily
#bpd#actually bpd#healing#trauma#actually bipolar#bipolar 2#diary#online diary#actually autistic#grief#mommy issues#dysautonomia#IST#inappropriate sinus tachycardia#fibromyalgia#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#actually adhd#adhd#adhd brain
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I need some advice. My husband is abusive in all ways u can think. He does practice and pray and is knowledgable and passionate about Islam. He is known influential muslim figure on social media and in real life so no one is really going to say much. He has a very strong smoking addiction which is pretty much what he puts importance to when he is with me/behind the scenes. When I was ill, he still prioritized getting his smoking in, i know addiction is like that and can change the way u think and behave and that was whats on his mind. He would leave me alone to smoke or smoke wherever we go. His family is not aware of his addiction or the things he has done to me. He is also engaging with non-mahrams online and now I fear there may be something going on. He has lied to me and did not provide me much details so I could not resolve it with him. When I asked the sister herself about it she tried to shut me out and wouldnt stop contacting him after I kindly explained how uncomfortable I felt, it was very disrespectful. I tried to speak to his family about his behaviors towards me and they have been dismissive. He has been threatening me to keep me quiet so his family doesnt find out about anything. It's been very tough. Im also a revert. He knows I am not as strong with my practicing and I am here trying my best. I havent had a good environmemt for so long and even now its bad because he expect me to do everything properly while he messes around. He hasnt helped me with much and does not spend on me or take care of me properly. His family turned against me thinking i am just trying to cause problems when I have been trying to speak up about his abuse. His family also expects my practicing to be on point and blamed me for it not being proper. I dont know what to do and I am alone.
As long as his family does not try to fix the matter, you must go to your family and ask him to change himself, and try to deal with you in a correct way. Your family must intervene in this matter, and give him a specific deadline to change his character, or if necessary, divorce as the last solution.
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Bruh why would u hurt my feelings making me think of the dragonborn having to leave Brynjolf… now im thinking about what he would do when they came back… the emotions … the tension….
At first Brynjolf would be desperate for any shred of information about them. He'd spend extra time in taverns listening for any clue of what the Dragonborn had been up to. If he was feeling brave he'd approach the bartender and ask about current events praying to hear they were safe.
It hurt like hell every time. Hearing about what they were doing - fighting dragons, saving towns, venturing across the continent, it dragged his loss to the surface. It hurt like it was fresh and new again. Brynjolf would curl in on himself with both hands pressed to his chest praying to heal the hole they'd left behind.
As time passed he'd learn to tune out the gossip. Half of it was untrue anyway. He avoided the marketplace and the taverns to keep himself insulated from it. He never forgot about them but learned to leave that part of his mind alone, thinking about them always hurt like an old bruise. He wasn't sure they would come back.
He finally began taking jobs across Skyrim once again as the Guild stabilized. He trusted Delvin and Karliah to take care of it in their stead. Fresh air would feel good, reminding him that the world wasn't as terrifying as the rumors of dragons and civil war made it seem. That deep, hopeful part of his heart he'd suffocated so long ago would jump at the idea of spotting them in a crowd.
Of course he wouldn't spot them. It had been months since Brynjolf left them at the Whiterun gates with a promise to return. He had to wonder how much they would change during their time away - a hero of Skyrim surely had better things to do than return to the Flagon. With a new resolve to refocus himself on his Guild Brynjolf hopped down the ladder into a suspiciously empty Cistern.
It was late, he couldn't blame everyone for gathering in the Flagon. He'd avoided it for a while - he felt their absence every time he sat at the bar without them leaning into his side or pestering him to have one more drink. Brynjolf took a breath, reminding himself that he was ready. They had been gone for months, it was healthy to move on. He couldn't be stuck in the past forever.
All conversations paused for a moment when he entered the tavern. He meant to head straight to the bar and order a drink to get back into his usual rhythm but stopped dead in his tracks. Brynjolf felt his heart stutter when he saw the eyes he'd been dreaming about staring straight back at him.
"Hey, Bryn." His name had never sounded so heavenly. Brynjolf steeled himself for the rejection. He wouldn't grovel for them to stay. They had better things to do, more important jobs to deal with.
"How's savin' the world?" He finally answered, struck by how nice it was to talk to them again. He'd spent so many nights wondering what it would be like if they returned - would they remember what they'd shared? Would they still want him the way they had before, when they were merely a thief?
"Over." They breathed the word like a sign of relief. "It's over."
Tension thickened through the Flagon. Brynjolf noted the way other thieves averted their gazes or picked up conversations with each other, subtly giving them whatever privacy they could. Brynjolf felt the Dragonborn's eyes watching him but couldn't move, couldn't figure out what he wanted.
He wanted to forget everything that had happened. He wanted to forget the months of worry and fear. He wanted to kiss them again. He wanted to keep himself safe from another broken promise and to hear them say they hadn't forgotten him. His stomach turned.
"Wanna get some fresh air?" Brynjolf couldn't answer them past the knot in his throat. He nodded, walking briskly through the Cistern and out into the cool nighttime air. It was easier to breathe away from the dozens of eyes watching his every move.
He didn't hear them approach until a hand grasped his arm. Brynjolf wanted nothing more than to forget everything when he felt them leaning close to him. He knew the expression that would be on their face and couldn't bear it. As soon as he looked at them he'd lose his resolve.
"You didn't lose your touch." He managed to keep his voice even, hiding the emotions raging inside his mind. He heard them laugh and felt his heart melting at all the memories it conjured, all the reasons to allow them back in.
"Of course not. I couldn't come back out of practice, I don't think I'd survive another round of training."
"I didn't think you were comin' back." Admitting it felt like a massive weight was lifted from his shoulders. Brynjolf summoned the courage to look down at them and readied himself for whatever they said next.
"I promised you." They smiled up at him, a hand brushing over his cheek and he broke. Brynjolf let the Dragonborn sweep his hair aside, fingers lingering on his face when he hesitated. Were they truly acting like nothing had changed?
"Don't come back just for me." Brynjolf struggled to keep his voice low. "You have a whole new life out there, love. Go enjoy it, yeah?"
"I don't want a new life." Their voice cracked and Brynjolf's heart broke with it. "The only thing that got me through all that was coming back to my life. I thought about you every night."
Brynjolf tried to process everything. He'd spent so long catastrophizing. He didn't think they would even come back to say goodbye before being swept away to a grand new life. They were the Dragonborn. Their eyes hardened and he felt their hand retract from his face. He'd fucked it all up.
"Do you not want this?"
They were slipping away. Brynjolf didn't think when he dove forward, cupping their face in his hands. Tears smeared on his palms when Brynjolf kissed them. It stole the breath from his lungs, like the world turned upside down but he didn't mind. The Dragonborn kissed him for the first time in so many months and he felt whole again.
"I love you." He breathed against their lips, desperate to get the words out before he lost them. "Lettin' you go was the hardest thing I've ever done."
"Really?" They sniffled, fingers tucking into his armor. He was thrilled with every touch that he'd lived so long without.
"Almost killed me, love." It hurt to admit but he had to put it out there. He couldn't keep putting up walls between them, couldn't keep blaming them for something out of their control. "I can't do it again."
"I'm here to stay." When the Dragonborn wrapped their arms around his waist he swore he'd never let them go again. "You're stuck with me."
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bucchigiri ep 10 thoughts:
shindo is doing the absolute most 💀 chill out sweetie we all know you're evil
matakara seeeeeems back to normal but he's def not. zabu is gonna catch on I think
so is ichiya taking over matakara like a full possession thing or is it a 'warped' version of matakara
more catboy storytime let's goooooo
ok since reading that one utena greek choir post about these segments I've been trying to look harder into them. basically, the customer is arajin and jasmine is matakara. arajin is figuring out he wants matakara in his life, but matakara is already too far gone off the deep end of despair and inferiority to care (ie. 'seeing other customers') also might have something to do with ichiya 'shopping around' bodies to fight senya with, witch matakara or shindo being the customer?
ahh it's still matakara he's just very emotionally fucked up i see
oh shit is marito finally gonna have something to do again?
the monster thing is backkk
my prediction is matakara is going to beat kenichiro maybe?
ichiya's smile is pretty and so evil I'd let him possess me in a heartbeat
mint chocolate chip ftw
holy shit the fight animation here is so good
arajin DO SOMETHING
the lighting in this scene is very pretty. the colors in this show are always top notch
aww marito cares in his strange way
zabu is a good friend to matakara, but matakara is letting his fear get in the way and being an asshole as a result. direct parallel to arajin and matakara's friendship fallout.
komao standing up for zabu hell yeah
does this school have any staff? besides the cat teacher, I mean
matakara's eyes are so empty it makes me sad
LMAOOO he couldn't even keep ara in class
i think this is supposed to be a little intentional character moment for arajin here. at the beginning, he wanted to have an average highschool life and rejected being absorbed into the delinquent social hierarchy for as long as he could. now, he's running from normal school responsibilities and intentionally embroiling himself in a conflict for matakara's sake
so is it mandatory that the merging mark thing has to be near/on the ass or
as sad as I am for matakara I am very excited for him fighting merged with ichiya
senya fights with punches, ichiya fights with kicks
matakara, mahoro is not gonna be on your side much longer if you keep kicking the shit out of her brother (how is mahoro going to play in the finale I wonder? if she isn't completely sidelined, that is)
senya FINALLY shows up and we don't even get to know what he's gonna say until next week ughhhh
pretty good episode, but not quite as tight as the last two felt imo. feels like this was mostly setup for our final two episodes. I expect matakara is going to face kenichiro next episode and win. senya is gonna explain the whole deal with ichiya to ara next time, as implied by him appearing at the end. (though im not sure I have a clue where he's been all this time? just hiding?) I think it'd be a good beat for senya's story to resonate with ara and lead to him resolving to help (ie. fight) matakara
edit: just saw the after credits hmmm. they're def gonna play up ken's emotional duty to protect matakara next episode as they facedown. maybe ken is going to bring up matakara's brother? interesting.
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god this is long sorry. mention of various familial deaths previously mentioned on this blog cw or something
🌸 is now having an issue at work that's likely to cause them a great deal of stress/emotional distress for like a medium length period? im expecting that they'll be really busy and need emotional support/benefit a lot from having things reduced in friction e.g. me taking care of dishes and food more etc.
which is, you know, fine. except that well
as you know my grandfather died last week and i spent most of last week 1. in a state of paralyzing terror about my own work thing, now resolved 2. traveling on short notice so i could be emotional/logistical help for my dad whose father just died, which i did like. a moderately ok job at i would say. i was better than nothing
and also my mom has 1. had a lot of feelings about her recently dead father brought up by all this 2. also been having a lot of feelings about him because w the exception of coming back for the funeral she has been staying in my grandparents' house in another city so she can sort through and get rid of his belongings AND 3. my grandmother, who had to go and come back w her for the funeral which she found exhausting bc she's 92, is increasingly confused/obstinate and this causes my mom lots of stress and angst directly and also again about her dad being dead bc thats why my grandmother is coping worse.
and dealing with all of this in person was really tiring and also helping to organize/cook for/personally host Mourning Shabbat Dinner on one day's notice was exhausting, and also i guess i am also one of the people whose grandfather just died and other grandfather died like six months ago but i don't really think there's a ton of space for me to consider if i think that's relevant
and to be honest i was kind of looking forward to this week as one where i could take it easy a little mentally, like, my mom would still text me random distressing mementos of my grandfather's early life, but work should be pretty chill this week & my dad still has a lot of his family & friends around him so might not need me quite as much & i do have to try and manage my not-entirely-voluntary new trainee at work but nothing terrible happens to him if i fuck up it a little; & so i basically did nothing but get home and pass out last night because i figured it would help me feel better & i could spend more time w 🌸 later in the week and get back on track
but instead-- this. which is fine, right, i have slack, i can do the dishes and make some dinners and try to be distracting and helpful and reassuring. but it turns out that if 🌸 is having a hard time and i need to express feelings/want emotional support i talk to my mom. and my attempt to express the concept "well i'm a bit stressed out because i was hoping to be able to recover a bit this week and save my emotional reserves for supporting you and dad, and instead this happened, so now i feel really preemptively exhausted and anxious and a little sad that i am going into month two of it being impossible to have pleasant relaxed interactions with my partner" was so impossible for my mother to process right now at her current level of exhaustion/distress that she literally just fell silent and then changed the subject without ever directly acknowledging it, which is. not typical for her. so she's clearly not available for anything resembling me needing emotional support from her. which is again incredibly understandable.
but, you know, it turns out there are three people on earth i can call if i am having a hard time and they are all having a much more direct hard time and i am mainly having a hard time about how upset they are. so. instead i guess i will say nothing to anyone? and vaguely regret not forming more highly emotionally intimate personal friendships with people? i suppose technically there's two other people where it wouldn't be an insane overstep but one i haven't talked to in 6 months, one lives in australia now, and theyve both always been way more busy and stressed and hard-to-schedule than me and i don't think that will be changing ever
at least i have a blog i guess. writing this is probably good or something. i mean it is but i don't know if this is going to perform the same function, i don't mean to denigrate the benefits i get from having online friends, which are considerable
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