#now of course i’m aware that they’ve both got Issues

[ash-and-starlight]

am I the only one who loves fics where Azula and zuko are acting like real siblings who haven’t been made to be enemies and fighting to the death all their lives? I think about how different and how good their relationship could have been if they had grown up in different circumstances <\3

ooo yeah ok it’s fun to take beloved characters and make them Not experience pain ig but also i feel like there’s only so much “getting along” you can do before they turn out completely ooc? (extreme kudos to all the writers who manage to hit that balance right)

but also like. sometimes it’s just like that. sometimes the last agni kai is a tuesday morning and you found out your sister went through your shit AGAIN-

[hummingbee-o0o]

Picking Lint off the Sofa

“You’ve been cleaning more than me for the past three days.”

Daniel swipes the microfibre cloth over the spotless table one more time and refuses to accept what Armand’s just said.

“Look, this is important to me,” he says instead, then gives the table another spritz of cleaning liquid.

“I know that,” Armand says from where he’s lounging on the sofa, tablet in his hands, wearing only obscenely expensive silk boxers and an open, plum-violet robe dripping off his body. “Which is why I’m not stepping in, per your request. Also, there’s no need to use detergents with microfibres; the multi-stranded fibre structure—”

“Are you on Wikipedia again?”

“No, Minecraft.” Armand shows off the screen proudly, like a kid with macaroni art.

“Looks great, babe.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ve been a shit father, you know that. They deserved so much fucking better, they still do, but they still worry about me. That’s… I can’t waste that, Armand.”

“I’m sure you won’t, beloved.”

Daniel wipes the cleaning liquid off the table, polishes around the edges.

“I mean, we’re gonna officially put me in the ground in a couple years, so I just want to give them at least a few half-decent memories with me, for fuck’s sake! But now they think I’ve got dementia because I’m writing gay vampire erotica and shacking up with a twink who’s a third my age. They also probably think I’m using again, because I definitely act high during interviews. Fuck, I am high, just on human fucking blood instead of crack or heroin. What am I supposed to do here?”

Armand looks at him steadily with those large, amber eyes.

“That’s been clean for the past five minutes.”

---

The sight of Daniel assiduously cleaning is, frankly, disturbing.

Firstly, it’s unnatural: it’s a sign that something is deeply wrong in Daniel Molloy’s world if he suddenly concerns himself with tidiness.

And secondly, he’s terrible at it. Armand loves him unceasingly and rapaciously, but he really thinks no love could be so blind as to claim Daniel is any good at cleaning. Not even his.

Of course, he’s very well aware what’s causing his beloved so much distress: his daughters are supposed to come over for a visit. They’ve reached out, concerned about Daniel’s recent and very public behaviour, and they both agreed to come over to ‘catch up’.

“I think it’s nice,” Armand points out while Daniel rearranges the sofa cushions for the eighth time.

“It’s not nice, Armand, it’s a goddamn wellness check.”

“And your daughters caring about your wellness is not nice because…?”

“Because I’ll have to explain why I’m acting like I’m using or demented or both without making them call an ambulance to give me a stroke eval.”

There’s a game Armand sometimes likes to play: keep prodding and see at which point Daniel will realise he’s being funny on purpose.

“I could easily alter the memories of anyone called to examine you.”

“Sweetheart, you’re not helping.”

Oh, Armand is very well aware of that. He was told not to, wasn’t he. Therefore, he issues another prod.

“This might actually be a good way to assuage your daughters’ concerns.”

“Jesus Christ, please don’t do this.”

Armand is on what he believes people call ‘a roll’ these days.

-

(Read the whole thing on AO3)

[leviathans-watching]

mfil - 23

-` ♡ ´- m.list | no taglist | next | wc: .8k

-` ♡ ´- a/n: website users, i am aware of the issues with the links and will be working on fixing that today &lt;;33

*NOT CLICKBAIT!!!* when asmo learns that you, the newest exchange student has a youtube account and following somewhat comparable to his own, he decided right then and there not to like you. however, after an unfortunate (and misleading) exchange goes viral, he has no choice but to fake date you in order to save face. will asmo crush you and put you into place like you deserve? or are those funny feelings in his stomach not hate, like he had thought? like, subscribe, and maybe fall in love (with this smau) to find out!!

parking your (borrowed) car in the circle drive, you stare up at the imposing manor. sure, diavolo’s castle is large and gothic, but this somehow feels distinctively darker.

brushing of your heebie-jeebies, you gather your things together. asmodeus had messaged you, letting you know all of his brothers found out you were coming (seriously, how bad at keeping secrets is he?) so there was no longer a need for you to ‘sneak in’, or whatever he'd wanted.

which, honestly, was fine for you. sneaking in had made you feel weird, like you had been doing something wrong, and it was about time you actually spoke to the rest of his brothers face to face.

opening the car door, you make your way to the front door, which opens before you can knock. it’s lucifer, who greets you politely.

“hello, mc, it’s nice to finally meet you face to face. forgive me for not being able to greet you in person sooner.”

“don’t worry about it,” you say, looking around the expansive foyer as he ushers you in. “i know your schedule is like, super busy.”

he lets out a soft chuckle. “that it is.”

before either of you can say anymore, two heads pop around the corner. mammon, and leviathan, if you remember correctly. despite having not met them face to face, it’s almost impossible to go around rad and not hear their names. also, you follow them all on social media already.

“the human’s here!” mammon bellows loudly, and lucifer gives you a tired and apologetic look.

“you must forgive them; they’ve all been very excited to meet you, especially since asmo has had such… interesting things to say.”

“there’s no need to beat around the bush,” you say quickly, figuring that since they all know about the fakeness of your relationship, you should be candid. “i know he doesn’t like me.”

“oh, hey mc,” satan says, entering the room, and you don’t miss the way he doesn’t seem to look at lucifer at all. “it’s nice to see you again.”

“you as well,” you say, and as if emboldened by satan’s easy greeting, mammon and leviathan step forward.

“hey, human,” mammon greets, “uh, it’s nice to meet you?”

“don’t be rude,” leviathan says, elbowing him in the side. “i’m leviathan, and this is mammon.”

“mc,” you say, “but i’m sure you already knew that.”

“where are beel and belphie?” mammon asks, and speak of the devil(s, hah!) they enter. beelzebub offers you a warm handshake, and belphegor just stares at you intently, eyes glowing purple. it reminds you of asmodeus’ eyes back when you’d first met.

“it’s nice to meet you both too,” you say, and belphegor shares a look you can’t read with satan, who leans forward, putting a hand on your arm.

“how has your morning been so far?” he asks. “tired, at all?”

kind of a weird question, but whatever. “uh, no, not really,” you reply. “i put out a video, did some tasks, and then got ready to come over here. nothing super special.”

“i see,” he hums. shaking off the weirdness, you look around.

“where’s asmodeus? he was the one who told me we didn’t have much time to work.”

“that guy always runs like five minutes late,” mammon says, rolling his eyes. “it’s annoying.”

“says you,” asmodeus snipes, entering as well. “you always run like, fifteen minutes late! and now mc and i really have to get to work so…”

“of course,” lucifer agrees with a nod, before fixing you with a serious look. “if he does anything to make you uncomfortable, just yell. or punch him.”

“hey!” asmodeus cries. “you should be saying that to me! this human is weird!”

“not as weird at solomon, i’ll bet,” belphegor snorts, then seems to catch himself, bringing a scowl to his face once more. what’s up with him?

“whatever,” he huffs, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of the room. you’re too stunned to free yourself. “we’ll see you later. or hopefully not,” he adds under his breath.

you follow him blindly through a maze of rooms, still in his grasp. eventually, he stops outside of an ornate door, pushing it open. his room is just as fancy as the door, gauzy and pink. you think you see a marble bathroom through a partially open door and any guilt you had (not that there was much) about using him for money disappears. he’s good for it.

“let’s get this over with,” asmodeus says, letting go of your arm suddenly as if he only just realized he was holding it. “quickly.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[thatgirl4815]

hi not to keep annoying you but i was in the ray tag (again lol) and i saw your post from before episode 6 aired about how damaged ray was gonna be after mew punching him... and so i rewatched pt 2 of episode 7 and mew tells ray he broke up with top, then says hes sorry for punching him but wanted to confront top on his own, and ray doesn't say a single thing the whole time. like he does not say he forgives mew or anything he just sits there.

i thought it was so interesting how little ray actually says that scene. like he sees his friends for the first time since his pain exploded at yo's then got into a car accident and they don't really talk about why ray did it or the impact it had on ray, they talk about everyone else. this compared to the scene before where ray and sand "talk about life's problems to heal their bodies and souls".

anyway now im wondering if we'll ever know the impact mew punching ray had on him, like is it sometime ray immediately forgave mew for, or is it something that he's not addressing but may bubble to the surface soon. or will ray not really sharing his feelings with them in general become a big issue (infamous episode 12 scene im terrified of you)

anyway i like that your meta posts are still interesting weeks later!

Hiiii! :) That’s a great observation. It also reminds me of how Ray reacts to his friends calling him a burden in Ep1; he’s visibly angry and then he just stalks away, leaving them to wonder what’s made him so upset (the lack of awareness from the members of this friend group is honestly insane). Ray’s friends have every opportunity to ask Ray if he is okay or question the source of his behavior, but they never do. Because they’re ignorant or because it makes them uncomfortable? I’d say it’s a mixture of both.

Ray seems to prefer burying all of his pain. It’s why he’s turned to alcohol as an outlet; rather than face the source of his suffering, he’d rather tuck it all away and distract himself. The only time we really see him open up about anything is in the bathtub flashback scene and a few scenes with Sand.

I think Ray is hurt about Mew lashing out, but I think he prefers to push that pain down too rather than risk losing Mew. Ray puts Mew on a pedestal, and he’s understandably terrified of scaring Mew off when Mew is the person he cherishes most. When it comes to Sand, Ray is more likely to lash out and say how he truly feels, which ironically seems like a healthier form of communication (despite it seeming to indicate that Ray isn’t as concerned about Sand’s feelings). I just wonder how long it will take Ray to acknowledge how much he values his ease of communication with Sand.

I would love to see Ray blow up at Mew or any of his friends about the way they treat him, though I’m not sure it’ll actually happen. I think all of their “burden” comments eat away at Ray, but I think he’s used to it by now. I would like to see the friend group come to the realization that Ray really does need help and they’ve been ignoring it this whole time. No one is entirely blameless here, and Ray’s blowup in Ep6 was a very clear sign that he needs help and is even a danger to himself…but of course these issues were swept under the rug yet again by everyone except for Sand.

[thisisnotthenerd]

Neverafter Episode 14: Daughters of the Crown thoughts and musings. Spoilers Ahead.

Well, I got my wish for a gerelody reunion, almost verbatim.

I’m glad that it wasn’t cut-and-dry. That both of them had the opportunity to say the things they needed to say and had the time and space to process a reunion. I think a truer aspect of Gerard’s curse is coming forth--that the ratio of frog to man isn’t really dependent on Elody and how much she loved him, but more on his own sense of self and what defines his nature, after having lived so long as a frog.

Elody got into the meat of her issue with the world, being that the simplest parts of her life are the only things being preserved in story. That the person she is and the struggles she has experienced beyond that aren’t worth remembering. I think her motivation there is definitely closer to the party than it is to the princesses, but who knows how that will change.

As for the princesses, I’m concerned about the next action they will take. The suicidal nature of their mission to destroy and restructure the Neverafter is unsettling and speaks to a lack of regard for stories and people other than themselves as well as a deeply sad reason for their mission. They all want a better future for themselves by whatever means necessary; at the very least, those that have been in on it the longest don’t have a regard for other stories and/or people if they stand in their way. Emily hit it on the head: we didn’t know if they were right or just young, hot, and good with magic and weapons. Now we know their interests diverge, and a fight with them will not go well for the party.

The prehensile hair on Rapunzel is terrifying, and only knowing that her persona is performative on a nat 20 perception check tells me that there’s a lot more going on under that hair of hers. Also, they know that Cinderella is more of a frontlines person, but have no idea the extent of la Bête’s power, and Snow White literally has an army. Elody and Mira are newer--not Twice-Upon-A-Time. I think they’re unlikely to do battle against Destiny’s Children unless they’re heavily coerced. They’re hostages, whether they’ve realized it or not.

However, Destiny’s Children has been collecting power and information in a way that somewhat destabilizes them; each party member has something they could do to dramatically change their course of action.

From a terrestrial perspective, while Gerard and Elody aren’t in a perfect place, I have a feeling that a proper conversation with her could deeply influence her perspective on the princesses, especially if the party is advocating to get her out. Rosamund’s first loyalty isn’t to the princesses; if she refuses to commit to the plan, and Elody or even Mira choose not to as well, the princesses are going to lose their advantage in numbers and probably seek to take them back by force, which detracts from their greater goal.

On a multiversal scale, four of Destiny’s Children are working with a power set was specifically granted to them by a higher power, greater than the princesses or fairies. Ylfa has the blessing of Death on her--my theory being that if the Wolf was not saved, she was being unknowingly set up to take on the role. He wanted her to live even when she was killing herself before him. There’s a little inconsistency in that she didn’t gain a greater awareness upon consuming the Wolf the way the Baron of Bricks did, but that could come down to a few things: he wasn’t boiled down the way he was in the soup, she was still confined to her original story and thus could not become aware immediately, or even that he simply wanted to preserve her remaining innocence with regard to the Neverafter, when she had already lost so much.

Pib, while technically only functioning with the memories of a Twice-Upon-A-Time, is fundamentally a trickster archetype. Theory time: he may not have the power that the BBW or the various Geese do, but being an archetype grants these characters a certain amount of power and perspective that the ‘protagonist’ characters don’t have. Pib has been the one to make discoveries on a wide variety of fronts--he got the true books out of the Lines Between, which gave the party a major advantage in terms of figuring out the Neverafter and gave Pinocchio the opportunity to seize his own destiny. He can make big swings without compromising his role and thus isn’t as constrained as the other party members. We know that the Stepmother, who gains from consumption of other stories, is a powerful threat; however, though she was a warlock patron, I don’t think she’s quite on same axis as the bigger players like the BBW, the Geese, or the Baba Yaga. She doesn’t have a universal awareness. Pib could theoretically take that on.

Pinocchio, on the other hand, is the boy of destiny. He’s wielding his story like a weapon. There is a great deal of power to that--I think he’s one of the party members they’d try to control immediately aside from Timothy. He can call on parts of his story that are actively dangerous i.e. il Terribile Pescecane--maybe not consciously, but it’s a risk they’d have to take with him around. For all that Pinocchio suffered in his tales, there’s a lot that could come out of that book.

Speaking of books, I think Timothy is going to be in a tight spot after this. Knowing that all they have to do is get the ink to him, I think the princesses may be gunning for him as a tool. There’s no way he would put it down, but I’d be willing to bet that the prehensile hair would be in the room while he’s sleeping, just waiting for an opportunity. Also, if they know he’s on his last wish, the idea may be to trigger that into killing him and then just take the book for themselves. The princesses are certainly ruthless and I wouldn’t put it past them, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel especially, to do that.

[bravevolunteer]

🔥 you know. you know.

send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

ahem…. fuck the mimic theories and fuck the current state of f.naf twitter and the way people act about it in general oh my GODDD

… edit this got long enough for me to need a read more LMAO

for anyone who isn’t aware ( stay that way you’re better off ) like we unfortunately are lmao the tftpp books are bringing in a new wave of theories about the mimic ( an.. endoskeleton?? programmed to mimic human behavior ) and its possible involvement in security breach… what i’m talking about here is mainly the claims that actually the mimic IS what we refer to as both glitchtrap and burntrap. it’s… honestly not even the theories themselves that i dislike so much as the way people have started acting about them??

i’m not exactly a fan of the idea that this out of left field character who is not hinted towards in the games AT ALL is actually what’s behind everything post ffps primarily because no matter how long they’ve been dropping those crumbs in the book, it is simply a bad writing choice to me to have your supposed main antagonist rely on supplementary material that is NOT well integrated into your main media at all. it’s different than things like, say revealing william and henry’s names in books or the logbook being used to support theories, because they are already characters that had sufficient evidence for their involvement in the games. no matter how much the books have influenced the game’s timeline before, i just don’t think this specifically is really that great of writing ( “it’s f.naf it’s all bad writing? okay and i can critique it JDKDHF ).

and that’s what really gets me: specifically f.naf twitter right now is RAMPANT with people jumping to conclusions and dragging people through the mud for having the audacity to? not agree with them? first of all, a lot of it feels like a GIANT misinterpretation because people seem to think that those who are doubtful of the mimic change think that glitch/burntrap is actually william afton fully resurrected from the dead. i don’t, i never have, to me glitch has ALWAYS been some sort of force created in order to act like william, something that is NOT actually william’s soul but is undoubtedly influenced by his past presence ( of course this doesn’t apply to people especially in the rpc who do portray it as actually william, rp is even more “do what you want who cares” to me JDKDJF ). no one is saying that they want william’s soul back and kicking, but people will constantly dismiss doubts about mimic with “you were complaining about william coming back but now that he’s not it’s an issue.” the theory is still shaky at best ( relying on the mimic potentially witnessing the mci and copying william which is why it exists as burntrap— the mimic’s behavior doesn’t match up with this enough to prove anything ) and it’s made even worse by only a few people posting concrete information and the rest just making baseless claims about proof that isn’t actually there.

i … got carried away lmao but overall what’s annoying me is the fact that it seems like the general fanbase is leaving NO room to disagree or not like a writing choice without straight up being aggressive towards them. obviously don’t be an asshole IN people’s theories, but if someone is just expressing what they think? that is NOT grounds for harassment?? there is NO NEED to act like someone is personally betraying you just because they have a different interpretation or critique of the text. it’s just so wild to witness this when it comes to a series that has ALWAYS been about different interpretations coexisting… let people talk about how their opinions without belittling them for “just being angry that the story’s not what they expected”

i leave with this

[teenmomcentral]

Here are some of the major (and minor but interesting) ‘Teen Mom’-related things that happened over the last week or so…

Jenelle Evans Brags That She’s Had to Take Court-Ordered Parenting Classes FIVE Times

Fired ‘Teen Mom 2’ cast member Jenelle truly out-“Jenelled” herself this week by taking to social media to brag about the fact that she’s taking court-ordered parenting classes for the FIFTH time. 

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, guys…

The Lady ‘o’ the Swamp shared this news (again, willingly!) in a series of Instagram Stories– the first, featuring a screenshot of a woman leading the online parenting courses. 

After getting absolutely destroyed in responses to her first post, Jenelle doubled down and posted again, insisting that being court-ordered to take parenting classes five times is really no big deal. 

“For those saying ���that’s concerning you took that class 5 times’ over the course of being a mother for 15 years and doing this to please others but also become a better parent speaks volumes,” she posted, seemingly throwing proofreading to the wind. 

“Bet most of you haven’t had 1 class, you should look into it,” she continued. “Maybe you would be able to control your emotions messaging random people, and then you can focus on your kids  #JustAThought” 

Of course, Jenelle’s new quest to be Mom of the Year is part of her latest CPS investigation and not something she’s doing voluntarily. 

As The Ashley told you last week, a CPS investigation of Jenelle and her husband David Eason recently concluded, during which it was determined that Jenelle’s son Kaiser, as well as David and Jenelle’s daughter Ensley, would be allowed to remain in the Easons’ abode.

Meanwhile, David is still facing a pending child abuse charge and an “Assault by Strangulation” charge for his alleged assault of Jenelle’s eldest son Jace last year. A CPS case involving both Jenelle and David is also open and active for Jace.

Kayla Sessler Talks About Her Co-Parenting Situation with Ex Luke Davis; Reveals If She Gets Along with Luke’s Family Now

Kayla recently posted a new Q&A video to her YouTube channel, covering a variety of topics— including how her ex Luke gets along with her current (and also former) man, Ryan Leigh. Kayla also gave an update on how things stand between her and Luke’s family.

“Overall, co-parenting with Luke is going great. There’s no drama. We’re friends, we’re cordial,” Kayla said, adding that Ryan gets along with Luke now, despite all the drama they had in the past. 

“They’re not, like, friends or anything like that, but Ryan had reached out to Luke, just letting him know, like, ‘Hey, I respect you as the kids’ dad, and I know we’ve had our issues but let’s move past them.’ They hashed it out, or whatever, and now they’re fine.”

“…there’s no bad blood between them, as far as I’m aware of,” Kayla added. “That’s going very smoothly, and that’s great. I love that for the kids. I don’t want them around any more drama than they’ve already been exposed to in the past from my mistakes.” 

Kayla then addressed the topic of Luke’s current girlfriend, Kylee, stating that she “has no issues” with the girl. (As The Ashley previously reported, Kayla got into a physical altercation with a girl named Dez Salias, who was dating Luke last year. Luke and Dez have since broken up and he’s now dating Kylee.) 

“There’s no drama. As much as you guys want there to be drama between Luke and Ryan, or me and [Luke’s] new girlfriend, or me and Luke, there isn’t any,” Kayla said. “So I need y’all to chill a little bit!” 

While Luke and Kayla have made amends, Kayla said she has not mended fences with Luke’s mom Noopie or his sister Chasidy. (As ‘Young & Pregnant’ fans will remember, Ol’ Noop tried to box Kayla during a tense scene that ended with Kayla’s infamous “He looooove me” line.) 

#NeverForget

Kayla said she did invite Noopie to her daughter Ariah’s birthday party last year, and Noopie came without incident, although the former feuders did not speak at the party.

“I did not invite [Luke’s sister] Chasidy,” Kayla admitted. “We’ve not had any interactions, and I don’t care to have any interactions with her.”

Farrah Abraham Uses Random Legal Words & Claims She Was “Gas Lite” in New Yelp Review of Texas Salon

File this under: “No one should care but sometimes life is tough and we need to chuckle at a Farrah Yelp review.”

Farrah has once again blasted a business in an online review in the way only the Backdoor Teen Mom can do: using her signature word salad “Farrah Speak” and managing to work in random legal terms.

And, because it’s written by Farrah, the review also contains odd usages of legal terms and a complete lack of punctuation.

“This is against consumer laws, fraudulent as this is not the pricing that matches booking online and this needs to be consensual upon check out and this was not handled properly,” Farrah writes in her review. 

Farrah burned up that free Starbucks Wi-Fi as she showed off her self-proclaimed JD law student knowledge.

Farrah also manages to work in the word “consensual” several times throughout the review, as that appears to be her “Word of the Month” for January on social media. At one point, she also legit asks to “speak to the owner”…seemingly forgetting that she’s writing an online review and not complaining in person.

The salon has yet to respond to Farrah’s review.

This is certainly not the first business that Farrah has one-starred on Yelp and unleashed her anger on. Over the years, Farrah has used the review site to blast everything from an apartment complex she lived in (and allegedly caused a fire in); Harvard’s online college; the LA nightclub she was arrested in front of in 2023; her “women-hating” OBGYN; and a day spa she accused of committing “facial robbery” after they did her Botox. 

HGTV Gives Update on Premiere of Season 2 of Chelsea Houska & Cole DeBoer’s ‘Down Home Fab’ 

Break out the fireplace disco balls and animal antler décor– another season of Down Home Fab is coming our way very soon!

While making a guest appearance on HGTV’s Battle On The Mountain this week, ‘Down Home Fab’ hosts and former ‘Teen Mom 2’ stars Chelsea Houska and Cole DeBoer announced that Season 2 of their show is set to premiere in March. 

Chelsea also shared the news on social media.  

As The Ashley told you last February, HGTV officially green-lit a second season of Chelsea and Cole’s show after ‘Down Home Fab’ became the network’s highest-rated freshman series since May 2022, prompting the (relatively rare) mid-season renewal.  

“Chelsea and Cole’s undeniable on-screen chemistry and enthusiasm for renovation brings in millions of fans each week to HGTV’s platforms,” Loren Ruch, Head of Content at HGTV, said last year of the show receiving a second season. 

When discussing what’s in store for the DeBoer family in Season 2, Chelsea revealed last year that her oldest daughter, Aubree, had expressed interest in having a bigger role on ‘Down Home Fab’ than she did in Season 1. 

As fans of ‘Teen Mom 2’ may remember, when Chelsea and Cole announced they were leaving the MTV series in 2020, Chelsea claimed it was because she no longer wanted her children’s personal lives to be the focus of a reality TV show. (Prior to appearing on ‘Teen Mom 2,’ Chelsea and Aubree made their reality TV debut on 16 and Pregnant.)  

While all four of Chelsea and Cole’s children have appeared on their HGTV series, the show does not delve into the kids’ lives.

[finelinevogue]

h and y/n are like cuddled on the sofa having deep convos and they’re like massaging eachother?? super duper fluffy please!!🌷🍰

okay for some reason this is both sad and fluffy, and idk how we got here

warnings: touches on sensitive topics in the current news

May 24th 2022

The BBC News was playing in the background and the clock struck 10 PM.

You and Harry were snuggled down deep on the couch, Harry spooning you from behind. One of his arms was helping keep his head up to peer over your body, whilst his other draped casually around your waist. You were both facing the TV, but neither of you were actually watching it.

Brixton ONO had finished a couple of hours before and you couldn’t be more proud of him and what he’s achieved. The rest of the band had gone out in London to celebrate, along with crew and some members of management, but Harry decided to come home with you instead.

He would always come home to you.

“The news is so sad at the moment.” You pointed out after watching the headlines.

“It’s because the world is so fucked up at the moment. It’s just, we don’t see it daily because we live on our little familiar bubble.”

“I just struggle to live every day freely when those people are suffering in Ukraine and there’s school shootings to innocent children. Then the cost of living crisis in the UK. It’s all just so fucked, H, and it makes me terrified to bring this one into the world.” You took his hand and rubbed it over your still flat belly.

You were only a few weeks into your pregnancy so there’d be no bump for a while. Harry couldn’t wait for it to start showing though. So much so he would make you wear the tightest top he could find and judge whether there was any difference in bump from the day before. You kept reminding him that it was just your extra belly pouch. He loved on it all the same though.

“I would hope that our love for this little one would be enough to keep them safe and healthy.” Harry answered, calming you down by kissing along your neck.

“You’re going to be such a good dad, H.”

“Yeah? And you’ll be an even better mum. In fact, y’already are. Keeping them all safe and warm.” Harry squeezed your belly a little tighter, as is he were giving the baby a hug.

“H, it’s a literally just a blob right now.” You laughed.

“A blob that I love.” He laughed back, kissing your cheek because he couldn’t quite reach your lips.

“Okay, off topic, but that reminds me. Have you seen all that shit with the abortion laws in America?” You felt Harry’s arm tighten around your stomach.

“Yeah. It makes me feel so sick that men in high powers think they can just take away womens rights, as if they’ve ever owned a uterus before.” Harry shook his head.

“And if we’re raped it still doesn’t constitute an excuse for an abortion? I mean what kind of sick and medieval law is that?” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get riled up over this issue.

You turned so you were now laying on your back instead of your front and turned your head to face Harry, who was looking at you with awe. His hand stayed placed on your stomach and your hands went and sat on-top of his.

“I know, baby. It’s fucked, I’m sorry.”

“Harry, it’s not you who should be apologising. I mean of course I, we, have a voice in this, but we shouldn’t be louder than the people who actually have been through these situations. Their stories need to be heard and they are the ones that deserve apologies.”

“You’re right. Do you know anything that we can do?” Harry asked, always wanting to be the first one to join the rally.

“Spread awareness on the media. Sign petitions and call up local offices. Voices need to be heard, so make everything as public as possible.” You explained and Harry nodded his head in agreement.

“I could donate to some women’s rights visitors too.”

“We both can.” You raised your hand to cup his cheek, because you wanted to remind him that it were a team and you’d face all of this together. “Sorry, by the way.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and he slid his hand underneath your t-shirt so he could softly rub the skin there. “What for?”

“For you having to lay here and listen to me rant about sad issues, when you could be out with your friends celebrating your success.”

Harry chuckled, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. It had been ten minutes too long since you’d last tasted his lips and you couldn’t help but moan at how good he still tasted. He was so perfect and his plump lips fit perfectly between yours.

“You could never be sorry for that, baby, because I would rather be here, with you, than out there, with them. I celebrate my success by spending time with you and getting to be happy. Seeing that smile on your face is success enough.” He kissed your lips again and you let it last a little longer this time.

“You’re the best, ever.” You smiled up at him.

“And I thought that was you?”

[glamaphonic]

OFMD Ask Game

Did Ed really plan to murder Stede when he told Izzy the plan?

Absolutely, imo! I frankly never even considered otherwise until after my mumblemumble rewatch when I came on Tumblr and saw discussion of it. I got the sense that some of the question arises from the idea of Ed and Stede’s whole (canonical wtf!) Love At First Sight thing. But that doesn’t preclude that Ed’s plan started out real. (Also, 'falling for the mark' just! hits! different!)

Like, Ed and Stede are very clearly, very instantly into each other. And Ed’s fascination with Stede, his being charmed by him, his being drawn to him, that’s all absolutely genuine. 

In fact, Ed is even more aware of what’s going on between them since he’s more experienced than Stede. Not in terms of being in love, neither of them has ever experienced that before, but in that Ed a) knows and is to some degree comfortable with the fact that he’s gay (I almost typed “Ed is a practicing gay” lol), and b) understands and has acted upon desire for men. So even beyond the visceral BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD, I also think Ed is fully AWARE that he has, at the very least, a crush on Stede.

BUT Ed’s a pirate and Stede is, nominally, a pirate. And pirates are all just in various stages of fucking each other over!

I think that when Ed goes and catches Izzy and tells him, hey I have a plan that’s going to solve things for both of us, stick around to run this con with me and you’ll get to be a captain and I’ll get to retire, he absolutely means it. He wouldn’t have been able to be so easily convinced into attempting it in The Art of Fuckery or been so guilty about it if he’d never intended to do it! He’s not lying about his intentions. He has no real compelling reason TO lie about his intentions in that moment.

I think the only lie is that at no point is he as CAVALIER about doing it as he presents to Izzy. Thus the whole smug Yes I Know I Still Got It grin and bow and then immediate MY HEART IS EMPTY MY SOUL IS EMPTY when he turns away.

Ed PLANS to do it, but he doesn’t especially WANT to do it. Not only because he knows that he does really like this fancy man Stede character already, but because he’s just tired of this shit! But he also, at that point, doesn’t see another option. He thinks that this is his only way out of the empty, depressing, lonely cage of boredom his life has become.

The point where he begins to more actively mislead both his crew and, imo HIMSELF, about the plan is after “You wear fine things well.” Which is when Ed realizes, Oh, I don’t just think this guy is cute and fun to be around and want to bone him. I’m catching real ass feelings for him.

And then he just spends weeks, imo, stalling and deliberately NOT thinking about it! Because it’s moved beyond something he doesn’t really want to do but feels is necessary to something that is actively awful for him to consider doing and is a betrayal of a relationship that he’s come to value! And even more, the entire reason for doing it has become murkier because he’s already enjoying life so much more with Stede. Why does he even need to retire and run away when he’s actually alive and having fun again, possibly more than he ever has in his life, right here, right now, on this ship, being a pirate with this insane, weird, wonderful man?

That’s why after Fang and Ivan and Izzy confront him, he refers to it as “his mess” that he’ll deal with. Because they’ve brought him back to reality (at least, their understanding of it) and he’s forced to confront the fact that he’s in way too deep and he’s fucked up the plan because of it.

It’s not until Ed finds he can’t do it and admits it to Stede and Stede instantly forgives him that the plan genuinely dies its final death. Which is, of course, what he articulates when Izzy forces the issue.

When he tells Izzy, “We’re not doing this,” it’s not something he was holding back or or always thinking. He would’ve had no real reason not to admit that before, especially when directly confronted. The fact that he’s not going to do this, that he’s never going to intentionally hurt Stede, his friend, is something he’s just realized and accepted for himself.

[thehmn]

This post is inspired by a friend of mine who belongs to a couple of queer groups and expressed worry about younger people who react with hostility to people who don’t know enough about the queer community and accidentally say harmful things, but doesn’t want to educate people in a gentle way because “it’s not their job”. My friend worried people expect outsiders to be too aware of communities they’re not in and told me “You’d be a perfect example. Not even people in the queer community know much about you”

What they mean by that: I’m intersex. My body is much closer to a mix between the standard “female” and “male” than the large majority.

What does that make you think about me? What do you think my gender experience is like? What did you think I had to go through? Did you for a fleeting second wonder what my genitalia looks like? How I have sex? What kind of sexual partners I have?

Now, how many of your thoughts and assumptions do you think are wrong or maybe even harmful? Are there questions you think are okay to ask and others that would be offensive? How do you know? Maybe the questions you think are tame touch on something that’s a major hot-button issue for intersex people. If I reacted with hostility to you simply asking if it is okay to ask questions at all, how would you feel about that?

This is all meant to be hypothetical questions. It’s just to give you an idea of what it’s like to be on the outside. And of course no one should be expected to conform and be the perfect poster child for their group or hold everybody’s hand, sit them down and gently explain everything to them. There’s a lot of assholes who don’t deserve it, but I think there’s even more people who accidentally say stupid shit because they don’t know any better. I’m very grateful for all the people who didn’t attack me when I was being stupid but instead educated me. It’s thanks to them I’ve improved and continue to improve. They’ve inspired me and I try to follow their example.

So if you care to know: Intersex people are diverse like everybody else, so what is offensive to some is a-okay to others.

Physically I lean closer to female than male, but it’s common for children to ask if I’m a boy or a girl. Some adults get confused too. Depending on how I dress or how far away I am people have assumed I’m a butch lesbian, a transwoman, or a transman. Because my fat deposits are very masculine it’s very common for people to think I’m a pregnant woman because I get the classic male “beer belly”.

I personally don’t have a strong gender identity but prefer female pronouns because that’s what I’m used to. Other intersex people have very strong gender identities and might even get angry if you ask if they are gender queer in any way. To many it’s considered extremely offensive to use intersex people to make a point about the fluidity of gender so it’s probably best to avoid that comparison unless you are intersex.

I’ve gone through a lot of phases where I either tried to be more feminine to feel less like a freak or own my masculine side. If the internet had been more common when I was a child I might have convinced myself that I was trans just to find a label and an identity (I hope people understand that I’m not saying trans people are delusional, just that I was in an unusual situation)

People have asked me if it’s offensive to use intersex people for erotica but characters they call intersex are always more like futanari with fully functional penis, balls and vagina. Intersex genitalia is often more of a mix. You might not even be able to tell from the outside but on the inside they might have an extremely shallow or non-existent vagina or no uterus. There’s a lot of possibilities that are usually not considered all that sexy. I personally have a jotun character inspired by the jotun Ymir from Norse Mythology who had both male and female genitalia and had children with himself. I call that double-sexed instead of intersex.

For years it was assumed that I had PCOS because as the doctor said “You don’t have any of the things we usually use to give the diagnosis but you have the symptoms so you must have PCOS?” The symptoms being a lot of male characteristics. I was put on hormone therapy to correct it. One gynecologist asked if I had been mutilated during a cancer operation a few years earlier because my downstairs didn’t look quite right. I only found out I was intersex a few years ago when another gynecologist asked if I got periods. Confused I said yes to which he responded “Oh okay. It’s just that I can tell you’re intersex and you often don’t get periods” Let’s just say we had a long talk after that.

So for me it was just a nagging feeling that something was off, especially after sex education in school because I didn’t quite fit the diagrams and some of the things the teacher said were impossible and if we experienced those things we were probably just doing it wrong. Well, they fit me and for years I was wondering what I was doing wrong.

For other people they find out later that they were operated on as infants to fit into a gender that they may or may not identify with later in life and they fight for children’s right to not be operated on.

For that reason some intersex people want to be included in the queer community while others want to be left out because they consider it a “body thing” more than a “brain thing”

So like I said, we’re diverse but I hope you feel a bit more informed. If you set out to learn more, just know that few things are a universal experience so just because I’m okay with telling you these thing, any of them could be super touchy for another person.

And as you can probably tell, I very much agree with my friend which is why I made the post. You do you, but I do believe it’s worth being patient with people who don’t seem to have bad intentions. And a big thank you to those who were patient with me.

[ichayalovesyou]

(Re)Discovering A Strange New Spock: “Charlie ‘X’” (1x02)

Previous Episode: The Man Trap

Next: The Naked Time

A meta anthology where I re-examine TOS, especially Spock, in light of the new information Discovery & Strange New Worlds has revealed about him to us.

Onto the analysis!

Thasian Debate & Everybody’s Got Daddy Issues and Nobody Wants To Talk About It!

This conversation has a lot of layers to it, and it gives me a chance to talk about McCoy and Kirk’s backstories as well as Spock’s! Every single one of these men has issues when it comes to being/having a father.

Both Bones and Kirk are divorced with a child. McCoy is allowed to be in touch with his daughter Joanna, Jim is respecting Carol’s wishes of staying out of his son David’s life. While Spock has daddy issues cubed between Sarek being an absolutely abysmal father. Christopher Pike aka “human dad” having given up his well-being to save Spock, which Spock is aware of and allowed to happen. Which runs parallel to Bones losing his own father by adhering to his wishes as well.

There are two conversations happening at the same time in that scene that, with this context in mind, are not totally separated from each other. The topic of who is going to act as Charlie’s guide/father figure while he’s aboard the Enterprise, and the topic of whether Thasians are still around.

Kirk tries to shunt that duty to Bones, chances are they’ve known each other long enough that Jim knows about Joanna, that Bones is already a father. However, Bones refers to Kirk as a strong father image, which could imply he doesn’t see himself that way. Jim however, wants nothing to do with it, possibly because of his own pain regarding David. What Spock does during this part of the conversation is VERY interesting.

If you want the boring interpretation he’s only waiting for his turn to talk but I really don’t think that is what’s happening. Spock’s facial journey and what he doesn’t say participates in this scene as much as the words exchanged between Jim & Bones do.

He looks at Bones, immediately looks down in contemplation, then he looks at Jim and looks even more uncomfortable. No comment, avoiding eye contact, definitely no volunteering himself for handling Charlie. Nimoy/Spock tends to do this subtle thing whenever Spock is deliberately trying to hold back an emotion, he purses his lips. THEN Spock changes the subject to talk about the Thasians more. I don’t know whether anybody had officially decided Spock had daddy issues at this point, but damn if this conversation doesn’t lend credence to that truth.

Now, we know Spock’s arguement is of course very logical and makes a lot more sense than what Bones wants to believe. Bones wants to believe that Charlie was able to make it on his own, perhaps because he hopes Joanna is doing alright on her own without him.

Spock on the other hand, however logical and correct, wants to believe that Charlie wasn’t alone. As he knows very well what feeling totally isolated is like, out of compassion it’s likely he hoped Charlie did not endure that same suffering. “Doctor, are you speaking scientifically or emotionally?” For Spock, logic and emotion are still treated as separate and opposite in his mind, when in reality, he needs both to make good judgements.

Spock & Uhura (Vol.2)

Despite their previous emotionally charged exchange in The Man Trap. The scene in the mess hall shows us that despite how the two of them have changed and grown over the years, they’re still friends. When she’s caught humming to Spock tuning his lyre, he actually smiles and proceeds to indulge her. Almost as though it wasn’t the first (and canonically not the last) time they’ve performed together.

She then of course weaves a song about a devilishly handsome heartbreaker who is obviously supposed to be Spock. He doesn’t stop playing even though he’s visibly like “alright, alright I get it 🙄😒😏” as she gets the teasing out of her system. Even if she’s never met/seen T’Pring she’s seen the effect he has on Chapel and I’m sure others (maybe even herself) and is poking at his general inability to handle it.

She doesn’t continue harping on it though, she then changes her target to Charlie. The lyrics she chooses and the way she winks at Janice suggests she might be trying to warn her. She’s a reasonable person and I strongly doubt she’s shipping the 17 year old with her coworker. Whether Spock is aware that is the ulterior motive of her lyrics is unclear. Regardless, they’re obviously confused and concerned for each other when (unbeknownst to them) Charlie cuts them off.

Spock & Jim’s Relationship Evolving Under Charlie’s Duress

Something tells me Spock was tipped off by the events in the mess hall that Charlie was more than he seemed. Perhaps subconsciously he picked up on Charlie’s advanced telepathic/telekinetic abilities through his own Vulcan abilities.

Yet again though Spock is not one who goes off of gut instincts, though it is no way his fault. The confirmation he needed lay in the destruction of the Antares. In the melted chess pieces after he comes face to face with Charlie personally. (Fun fact: Pike served on the Antares a couple assignments prior to captaining the Enterprise!)

Spock is reluctant to be compassionate regarding Charlie after the Antares destruction. Jim is still willing to try and reach out to Charlie despite everything, whether Spock finds that admirable or illogical, he trusts him. Spock knows full well that Jim has a talent for reaching unreachable people, as he’s begun to experience that first hand. The third act of this episode is also the first time that he and Bones are on the same page, United in the goal to protect Jim.

The confrontation with Charlie in Janice’s quarters evolves Spock’s relationship with Jim even further. It is the first time Jim puts himself between not the crew, but Spock specifically and immediate danger. Spock cannot intervene because the injury Charlie inflicted prevents him from doing so.

It is also the first time Jim openly admits to needing Spock, perhaps to anybody “You need me to run the ship and I need him.” I wonder if anyone has admitted to/told him he was needed like that since Chris left. Much to grapple with indeed.

[gorouverse]

A dance while drunk, might be forgotten. Shall we while sober?

Small note before reading! There is mentions of alcohol and they are drinking so if this is something that triggers you then you should refrain from reading, sorry!  Also, please let me know if you want a part two with their date!! ---  Kaeya wraped his arms around her waist gently, and twirled her into a fun spin. The music seemed farther away then it actually was, but all he could focus on was her smile, and the way her eyes twinkled under the golden lights of the tavern. Were they a bit tipsy? Well of course, that’s the only time either of them let down their guard and actually become well aware of how fucked up they were.  Rosaria, who works in the cathedral. She’s stated many times how she doesn’t like her job, and it honestly makes him laugh because at times he can tell her snobbish comments are only a facade. She’s only being honest about the fact she dislikes it fifty-percent of the time. The other half, which she has confessed too, she’s grateful for because conveniently, her and him get off at the same time. Meaning, on their nights where they come to drink off their boredom they find each other, and confide in one another.  They’ve spent hours talking about everything that’s ever happened to them, to the point where Kaeya’s brother, Diluc, has had to take away the bottle of wine they were draining and scolded them.  And yes, you could probably title them as low-life alcoholics, but it isn’t true. They aren’t drinking for how it makes them feel, they’re just bored. Which, is somehow, worse.  “Do you ever wonder if we could do this while we were sober? Dance the night away~ oh wouldn’t you wanna do that with me? If I could have the chance to do it with myself I certainly would.” he said.  Rosaria let out a small giggle. “Are you always so full of yourself? I would never waste time with you while sober!” she said before throwing her head back in laughter and leaning back into his arms.  “Are you sure you would be able to live without me? How do you know I’m not just drinking with you because I pity your sad situation?”  “Calvary Captain Kaeya, pitying me, you make me laugh with your stupid thoughts sometimes.”  Kaeya frowned, and she noticed.  “Oh don’t get your panties in a twist. If you really wanted to go somewhere while we are sober, how come you haven’t asked? Aw don’t tell me Kaeya has some confidence issues~?”  “Just stop talking already” he said before chuckling.  They continued dancing, and drinking, and dancing and drinking, till they were forced to stop, and were given some water to sober up before they had to leave.  “It seems our bartender no longer enjoys our business Rosaria?” Kaeya said.  “Seems like it huh?” She replied.  They were always such pests, and they were both surprised they weren’t banned already, though they were valuable customers, so it made sense. Kaeya coming here was basically a routine, and adding Rosaria to the bunch only made it double the profit.  Kaeya picked up his glass and took a sip of his drink. “Fine, tomorrow night after work, we go out somewhere. Sober.” he offered.  “Oh! Someone built up the courage to ask. Wouldn’t it defeat the purpose if I answered now? I’m not exactly sober yet. Oh this is all part of your games isn’t it? That’s totally the point.” she said.  “No no~ you got me! Of course not Rosaria, answer while drunk or while sober, I’ll wait.”  She rolled her eyes. “No, it’s okay, I’m just poking fun at you. Tomorrow after work, we’ll go somewhere while sober. You’ve got my word.”  “You won’t regret it, I’m quite the charmer.”  “Shut it before I change my mind.” 

[tooruluv]

Katsuki Bakugou x F!Reader ( part 1 )

❝ ...and then there’s you. ❞

description: you and bakugou have hated each other since childhood. through the constant bickering, fighting, and actual fist fights... you had no idea that you had been writing to him.

genre: angst, soulmate au where you have a notebook that you can write to your soulmate in

word count: 3.8k

warnings/notes: strong language, lots of angst, aged up characters, bakugou being bakugou, reader has an air manipulation quirk created as part 1 of 3 for my winner of my tooruluv2kparty contest @katsulovee​ <33

teaser | part 2

| masterlist

“ ‘cause when the sun goes down, someone’s talking back ” - talking to the moon, bruno mars

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

The storm only escalated, casting the sky in deep blues and greys. Loud rain clattered against the roof of your apartment building, the ceiling of your top floor apartment being the only thing that separated you from the pour. 

The rain may be cold, but you were on fire.

You had been livid all day, positively outraged by the man who seemed to always be in your way. He was the most arrogant, most opinionated, and most… loud-mouthed person you ever met. You were screaming from the inside out, burning with rage.

Groaning, you sprawled out on your bed.

Katsuki Bakugou was the biggest fucking issue on the planet. His absurd need to be the best at everything he did, his cold demeanor and venom that spews from his mouth -- you wanted nothing more than to punch him directly in the throat. 

With a deep breath, you flipped open your Soulmate Journal. 

The world was such a strange place, full of quirks and criminals and heroes and villains. To add on top of that, when you turn thirteen a journal just… appears. And whoever is your soulmate can read everything you write. Once they read it, they can reply or talk to you that way and the ink disappears. There are plenty of rules that go along with it, like if you turn thirteen before your soulmate does, the ink is red until they receive their own journal. Or how the journal itself is indestructible. Or the biggest rule: you cannot write any given name. 

When you’re thirteen, your life is full of hope and wishful thinking. Almost everyone at that age is excited to start writing to their Person, the one who they were supposed to be created to be with. You were surprised when you opened yours to find nothing written.

You assumed that you were a bit older than your soulmate, but that was quickly shut down as you wrote in black ink. Your soulmate hadn’t written anything. 

It took two months for him to write back. Two months of your excessive writing and nearly diary-like entries. Two months of you wondering if they would ever write back. Until he did.

Today sucked.

That was all you wrote, your past two months of writing still ever present and glaring at you with smudges and hinted annoyance. The ink started to fade like Harry talking to Tom Riddle, reappearing with new handwriting.

It was scrawled across the page with terrible handwriting, very much one of a middle school boy. 

Life sucks. Deal with it.

You were now twenty two, an adult and that once hope and love has turned into pessimism and indifference. And life still sucked. 

You were pretty famous, your air manipulation quirk one that catches a lot of attention. That, alongside your rivalry with the second most famous hero Bakugou, brought an abundance of recognition. Bakugou completely steals your thunder every chance he has, stealing your light and victories. 

You hated him. With the utmost disrespect, you hated him. Since your days in the hero academy, the two of you were at each other’s throats. He would even stop in the middle of antagonizing Deku to make some horrendous comment towards you instead. 

You ended up scribbling along the Soulmate Pages, heated rage boiling with each word.

Hey Honey! I need to vent if that’s okay.

Of course.

You would not believe the shit I have to endure in real life. I wish I could describe the hatred I have for this man I work with, he’s a real piece of shit. Anyway, how was your day?

My day was about the same as yours, living with the idiots of real life. If we could write names I would because there’s this bitch I work with that I fucking hate.

Maybe we need new jobs (insert laughing face even though I’m livid right now)

Yeah. Maybe. But we’ll get through it.

It took years for your soulmate to warm up to you. The first interactions were hesitant, slow, and barely considered conversations. But now you can discuss your day as if you were texting a friend, talk about your likes and dislikes. 

He was your soulmate after all.

You learned that he was a boy and an only kid, he had a strong quirk, and that he liked ramen. He was a rule follower and his handwriting always used proper punctuation. You told him all about your life and how you wanted to travel away from everything.

You wanted to know who he was, more than anything. 

You wished you could tell him your name and quirk, where you lived and who you were. You wished he could do the same. 

You’ve tried, of course, to write out your name and location. But the second the words were written onto the page, they turned into a random assortment of letters. Gibberish. Never to be written, never to be known.

“Dude, fucking relax!” You rubbed your temple at your desk, voice spitting venom against Bakugou’s loud vocals. “Not everything is about you, just sit down and wait to be sent on a mission.”

“What did you say to me?”

Katsuki Bakugou had been going on and on about how Deku got assigned to a mission in upper Japan, sent to work with a separate force for a bit to expand his horizon. He was outraged, yelling and standing tall and broad to pretend to be bigger than he was. 

You were doing paperwork, trying to concentrate despite his yelling and complaining and bitching. You were hovering above your seat with your legs crossed, papers scattered (it was a habit of yours, to just kind of hover a couple of inches off the surface of things; air manipulation and all that). 

“I said,” You turned to look into his ablaze eyes. “Sit down and wait. Not everything is about you.”

You only threw fuel into his fire, you could hear the sparking between his fingers. You turned back to your paperwork. 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not even in the top five heroes.” Bakugou barked in your direction. You could feel his heat as he approached your desk. “You can sit and do your own paperwork all you want! I need to be put on serious cases, just like stupid Deku is always placed on.”

“You can argue with me all you want.” You moved to continue your work, pretending to be unbothered. You could feel the anger boil in your chest. “But you still are and will always be measly little number two. Now shut the fuck up, you’re interrupting those who are actually working.”

He was going to hit you, you knew he was. You two ended up fist fighting all the time, oxygen and explosions ending in destruction. Before he could, your boss walked in with a bellowing, “Bakugou! Get over here, I have something for your loud ass!”

You decided to give him a bored middle finger as he walked away.

They say that words are the way of life. You could say an infinite amount of words and sentences in your lifespan, you could say a word and only ever say it one time. Each assortment of words are different each time, something new every day. 

You figured that’s why you hated the soulmate thing. 

Finding your soulmate should be one of chance, of pure coincidence and meeting of strangers. With the journal, you are starting something you only hope to find. You could go your whole life without finding your soulmate.

And that is terrifying.

There are horror stories of writing to an endless notebook, sad movies created where the lettering turns back to red before they’ve found each other. You wanted nothing more than to meet and just… be with the man you’ve been writing to since you were thirteen.

It seemed to be some sick joke, a tease in the palm of your hands.

When you were young, you attended UA High. It was meant to be the best school for heroes, grooming them into the best of the best. Both of your parents had been heroes themselves, your mom with a cloud quirk and your dad with wings. You took after a bit of both, no wings and no clouds but could create air currents and manipulate the air surrounding you within a certain radius. It has something to do with your breath and lungs, but you never looked too much into the actual DNA aspect. 

When you arrived in the hero program, you passed the tests with ease. You tried to focus mainly on yourself and gaining your own points, alongside a couple of students with the same idea. 

You were pissed when you were placed in 1-B instead of 1-A. It was the start of your rivalry with the explosion boy. 

Luckily, you quickly gained friends. You actually seemed to have a soft spot for Hitoshi Shinsou, and you and Itsuka Kendou seemed to be the only two with brains (this led to many conversations resulting in shit talking and giggling). So in the end, you weren’t too upset to be placed in the second best class. 

And you did get to fight with Bakugou a lot more without punishment, your professor wanting to be number one as much as anyone else. 

One particular day that you remember to this day, one that really labeled your hatred for Bakuogu, was just a normal day at first. You were finished with your normal morning classes and just beginning the hero portion of the day, the training and fighting. 

Your class was working with Class 1-A for the day, teaming up with one of their students and seeing how your quirks would act both against and with each other.

You were, of course, teamed with Bakugou.

The fucker was already set in his ways, loud and in need of attention at all times. You were well aware of his… loud personality… at that point, being beside Shinsou when he called your class “extras”. He was already someone you wanted nothing to do with. 

“Good luck.” Kendou muttered to you when your names were announced as partners. “See ya.”

The second you headed to him, you could feel his apprehension. He wanted nothing to do with you. And you wanted nothing to do with him. In fact, you were hoping for Uraraka as your partner, wanting to see how your air manipulation would work with her gravity. 

Apparently the professors wanted to see the oxygen working with the burst of flames. Which, honestly, is cool yes — but it was the person behind the explosions that you did not want to be a part of.

Bakugou was not one to mumble under his breath. 

“Why am I paired with you?” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. “I could at least be with someone interesting like Mind Control over there.”

You already wanted to punch him. “You’ve obviously never seen my quirk.”

“Clearly it hasn’t been interesting enough to be worth my attention.”

“Say that again when I remove the oxygen straight from your lungs.” You threatened, knowing damn well you didn’t know how to do that yet. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He let out a long exhale, moving into position. You were already flying by the time he let off his first explosion.

His utter disrespect for you and your quirk not only irritated you, but only was the start of a long term competition on Who Can Be Better Than Who that lasted the rest of your time at UA.

Through the constant loud arguments, the yelling in the cafeteria and the comments just loud enough for the other to hear, the fist fights and the swearing that was reserved only for each other, you found comfort in talking to your soulmate. It was relaxing after a long day of pure annoyance and shit talking to finally just get to have normal conversations with someone you enjoy. 

Are we allowed to ask about school in this thing?

I don’t think so.

I’m sighing. Pretend that you could hear my sigh.

Wow, that was a loud sigh.

YOU’RE FUNNY! Anyway, I really want to know if we go to school together :(((

I don’t even think we can talk about JRTPD or BO::SOMD. See, they turn into gibberish.

 I mean… we can say school. So we can ask ABOUT school just not… specific schools. 

That’s true. I go to a special school and am the best in my class. You’re getting lucky by having me as a soulmate.

Well I would only hope so. Need a smart soulmate for fun facts.

Fun fact: you’re pretty cool. I guess.

Ah, the admission of your love for me.

Not love. I don’t hate talking to you if that does anything for you.

The one person you don’t hate. I’ll take it, Soulmate.

Don’t push it.

We should give each other nicknames. Since we can’t call each other by our real names.

Does the book allow it?

My parents did it before they found each other.

Okay. Like what?

I can call you Hot Head, because you’re hot and because you are always writing about how mad you are.

No.

I can always go with something cute like Honey.

This is gross. I was thinking like gamer tag nicknames.

Okay, Honey.

I take back what I said, asshole.

Honey and Asshole. The perfect pair. We could solve crimes!

I’m going to bed now.

Goodnight Honey ♡ I know that you aren’t reading these but you will in the morning. Dork.

“Do you know who your soulmate is?” You asked.

You were hanging out with Kendou, Monoma, and Shinsou in Kendou’s bedroom. The dorm rooms were all set up the exact same way, but for some reason Kendou’s always seemed to be bigger. 

“No idea.” Monoma shrugged. “I don’t think I want to know until I’m older, we’re too young and I want to focus on graduating first.”

“He’s right.” Kendou twisted in her position on her bed. “Why? Do you want to know who yours is?”

“I want to know more than anything.” You sighed. Your head was laid across Shinsou’s lap on the floor. “We get along so well and I try to talk to him every day.”

“How do you know it’s a he?”

“He told me.” You laughed. “We tried really hard to narrow it down as much as possible.”

“It sounds like he wants to know you too.” Kendou said. She giggled. “I should ask my soulmate their gender.”

“What about you, Shinsou?”

“I barely write to mine.” He shrugged, making your head tilt a little. “I’m sure they understand.”

“I’m sure they do, they were made to be yours.” You looked up at him with a smile. “Of everyone, I thought you would write the most.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because most people are scared to talk to you in real life.”

He flicked your forehead. “You aren’t scared to talk to me.”

“I’m not scared to talk to anyone.”

“I’ve noticed.”

You sighed and closed your Soulmate Journal, the rain now casting a dark shadow across the entirety of the sky. Your face was flushed in red, hair disheveled and you were still in your hero uniform, dirty and kind of burnt. 

Katsuki Bakugou had not only interrupted your victory, but he had claimed it as his own. His desperation to be the number one hero hadn’t stopped. It’s been years, you’ve grown past his stupid desire and he simply… hasn’t.

You fought the villain yourself, using your quirk to it’s full capabilities and trapping them in a circle of air. You fought for over an hour by yourself, taking up the mission while out and witnessing it first hand. Your freshly bought coffee was long forgotten as you raced after the thief.

The second you landed the thief, the ball of air dissipating as you grew tired, Bakugou arrived in a fiery feat and handcuffed the villain. Of course, the main photos were of him with the handcuffs, standing proud as if he hadn’t stolen your fight. 

His argument was that he did help. Yeah, he did ‒ for three seconds.

Katsuki Bakugou was a piss stain upon himself, truly the worst of the worst who’s own personal interest outweighs anything else in his life. He will never be anything but second best because he never thinks of anyone but himself. 

If only he could read thoughts instead of turning his sweat to ignition. Then you wouldn’t have to put your harsh thoughts into tone.

Your Soulmate was one of two people you genuinely enjoyed talking to, he always seemed to be on the same page as you. The other is Shinsou, from your high school. He was the only one you really kept in contact with.

Sometimes you like to convince yourself that Shinsou is your soulmate, since he hasn’t found his either. But you compared the handwriting and it didn’t match at all. Shinsou’s handwriting was much smaller and neater than the man you would eventually call yours.

“This is so fucking stupid!” You screamed, your rage reaching its max.

You threw your journal across your bedroom, the storm masking the sound of it banging against the wall by your bed. You were pissed, you wanted nothing more than to see Bakugou’s downfall. It’s been years. You were over it.

You were over it all. You were over him, you were over not knowing your soulmate, you were over being alone in your stupid apartment. It all reached it’s apex. Maybe you needed a shower, or maybe you needed to move from your job.

Your fit was interrupted by a loud crash on the roof of your apartment building. You nearly jumped at the sound, the sound not even close to the crashes of thunder. 

You rushed to the roof, your hero senses kicking in more than your regular carefulness. Once you were outside, you were almost instantly drenched in the rain. Only a couple of yards ahead of you was a man crumbled to the ground; they must’ve hit the roof harder than you thought.

When they turned, clutching their side, you knew instantly who it was.

“Deku?” You rushed towards him. “I thought you were in Hirosaki for some serious villain.”

He moved to stand, much taller and broad than he was back in high school. Yet still with the fluffy green hair and bright eyes with hope always seemingly sewed in. 

“I was. I just… I need your help.”

“Why do you need my help?” You helped him stand fully, taking his hand from his side to check for an injury. He wasn’t bleeding. “Doesn’t Uraraka live around here?”

“I don’t… want to involve her in this.” He stood straight. His healing must’ve started. “I… this is something I need you for.”

“Okay…” You crossed your arms. “What do you need?”

“I know what you’re going to say.” Deku started, and you didn’t move. “But it’s Bakugou.”

“No.”

“C’mon, Aero, I know that you two…”

“No.”

“Please, I…”

“Deku, you know more than anyone how and who he is. Whatever it is, he can deal with it himself.” You started back towards the stairs. “I appreciate you coming to me, for whatever reason, but this is something that you have to find someone else for.”

“Don’t think of this as us doing something for him.” Deku rushed to stand in front of you. “Think of it as a favor for me. You owe me one.”

“Don’t do this now.” 

“I’m officially cashing in my favor.”

You sighed, “Fine. Can you at least tell me what we need to do for the asshole?”

“I’ll tell you on the way.” He nearly jumped in joy. “But you cannot tell anyone. Not Shinsou, not the police, and not our boss. This is under the radar.”

“Oh, shit.” You followed him as you flew next to him. “What are you getting me into?”

tag list: @katsulovee @paradisebabey @seaofemptygold @zhaixiaowen @daylghits @haikyuusimp91 @darknessyournewfriend @samwise-though @liaxxx109

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

[elftwink]

no thoughts only taakitz superhero/villain coffeeshop au. taako’s power is shapeshifting but he has a cool gun from lup. kravitz’s power is Big Fuckin Scythe With Unspecified Abilities. also there was no time to get into it but fantasy starbucks isn’t a real starbucks it’s a borderline illegal unaffiliated bootleg starbucks that taako and lup own. like dumb starbucks was.

By all rights, it should have been a fairly routine night for the Reaper. Go out, stop some crimes, arrive just in time to prevent whatever scheme the Mongoose had cooked up this week, exchange some one liners, make some threats that essentially amounted to ‘same time next week?’, the works. A regular Tuesday as a superhero in Neverwinter.

But Kravitz is tired, and more than a little distracted, so he’s not doing so hot on the one liners, and the Mongoose’s attacks are a little closer than they would normally be. He doesn’t even have a good excuse, it’s not like he’s injured, or that he has anything pressing to think of.

It was just— this morning his barista (who he may or may not have been harbouring a small crush on) had mentioned offhand that he thought the Reaper was ‘probably hot under the stupid all-black getup’, and Kravitz didn’t really know what the protocol was for someone complimenting your alter-ego was.

“I think if you were gonna go for the strong silent type, you had to start doing it months ago. Now it’s just acting like an asshole. Are you mad at me?” the Mongoose cuts into his thoughts, firing off another few missiles from his stupid umbrella gun (Umbrastaff, he called it, although it was a gun and not a staff so Kravitz had no idea why he insisted on calling it that).

“We are literally fighting as we speak,” says Kravitz, playing up the cockney accent, spinning his scythe to deflect the missiles off the blade, sending them ricocheting around the room. He’d said something like ‘how can you tell’ to Taako— the barista (well, they’d been on a first name basis for a few weeks, so, Taako), and he’d said ‘I can just tell’ which was not at all helpful in getting Kravitz through the conversation without saying or doing something to give himself away.

He’d almost given Taako his number, but how was he going to justify that? Hey, it’s me under the all black getup. Do you want to go out sometime? As if.

“You can have fights without being fuckin’ rude,” says the Mongoose, firing off another few rounds, which Kravitz deflects again, advancing on him.

“You’re right, sorry. I’m a bit scattered. Not exactly my A game.” As if to prove his point, the Mongoose easily dodges his next couple swings with the scythe, not even bothering to leave his range.

“Clearly. I mean, normally you’re at least close enough that I can feel the breeze from your sword.”

“It’s not a sword, and you know that.” Kravitz brings down the scythe in the space where the Mongoose was only seconds before, having already backflipped out of the way and landed a few metres back. Show off. Not that Kravitz had room to complain about that. The Mongoose spins to face him again, at least this time seemingly aware of what a close call that was. He’s tense, and his hair, which Kravitz supposes has thus far been hidden underneath his costume, has come somewhat unravelled, black braid falling to the middle of his back.

It seems... familiar?

He doesn’t have time for that right now. Kravitz draws back the scythe, feeling the hum of energy under his fingers, swinging again, and—

“Wait! Time out!” the Mongoose puts up a hand and Kravitz, for who knows what reason, stops his scythe mid-swing. The familiarity sticks, so it’s not just a trick of the light. It takes him a second to place, but the hairstyle... it looks a lot like a certain barista he’d been spending all night thinking about.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. It’s because he has Taako on the brain, is all. Besides, he has other things to worry about besides seeing his crush in his enemy. Namely the fight currently happening with said enemy. “What? You can’t call a time out.”

“I just did,” says the Mongoose, fishing through his pockets and pulling out several bobby pins, sticking them in his mouth so he can use both hands to fix his hair. Kravitz blinks, still trying to shake off the sense of deja vu, but it won’t quit nagging him. “It’s a whole safety issue to leave long hair down.”

“It’s still in a braid,” retorts Kravitz.

“Somebody never took Foodsafe.” the Mongoose gives him a lopsided grin that Kravitz fucking knows he’s seen before, and suddenly it’s more than just passing familiarity, and how could he possibly have not noticed before, and— the Mongoose finishes putting up his hair, raising an eyebrow at Kravitz and his private crisis. “Alright. Ready—”

“You work at Fantasy Starbucks,” blurts Kravitz, without even thinking about it. The Mongoose stops dead in his tracks, and Kravitz can see his eyes widen even behind the mask. He splutters for a moment, and then seems to find his footing, already ready with a snarky remark.

“Yeah, well— your accent is fake.”

Shit. He’d forgotten. At the only time so far that having it would have been useful too. Still, he pushes it out of his mind; the Mongoose hadn’t denied it. And, well, he’s already solidly derailed this fight, so he might as well get some real confirmation out of it.

“...Taako? It is you, isn’t it?”

“Just who the fuck are y—” The Mongoose— Taako— levels the Umbrastaff at him, and then stops again. “...Kravitz?”

Well. Shit. Again. Kravitz doesn’t bother to affirm that; his silence is more than enough confirmation. One of them has to say or do something, but the seconds stretch on.

“You’re telling me I said all that shit to your face this morning?” says Taako.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

“Uh, yeah—” Taako is backing up now, and they’ve fought enough times that Kravitz knows when the Mongoose is looking for an escape route; Kravitz’s feet still feel glued to the floor, even when Taako reaches the window, fingers already turning to talons around the Umbrastaff. Taako breaks the glass (because of course he does, even though the windows aren’t even fucking locked), breaking eye contact with Kravitz in order to swing his legs through the window before his form changes too much. “Look, this is like, a lot right now, and I— I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he says, and then drops. Whatever had been keeping Kravitz in place, slack jawed, ends as soon as Taako leaves his sight, and he’s moving before he has time to think about it.

“Wait—!” Kravitz runs for the window, but by the time he gets there, the bird clutching the Umbrastaff is nearly out of sight.

Well. That could have gone better.

***

Kravitz doesn’t go for his coffee the next day. Or the next day, either, although the day after that he’s sick of making his own coffee. And frankly, he misses chatting with Taako. Even if the guy was trying to kill him like once a week. He couldn’t just avoid this forever.

Still, the fact that Taako is working cash when he comes in makes him want to turn tail and run back home. He conjures up the memory of yesterday’s shitty coffee and pushes onward. The shop is mostly empty still, so there’s no line.

“The usual?” says Taako, like nothing abnormal has happened.

“Please,” says Kravitz, and then, before he can chicken out entirely, adds, “Uhm, do you have a few minutes?”

“My shift isn’t over until—”

“I’ll cover you,” comes Lup’s voice from the back room; she pokes her head out and gives Taako a look that is clearly significant, but that Kravitz can’t quite puzzle out. “Take five minutes after you’re done making his coffee.”

Taako scowls at her, and she smiles brightly before heading to the back again.

“Okay. I guess I have five minutes. Talk to you after I make your coffee.”

Kravitz nods, and goes to hover around the pickup counter, pretending to be interested in things on his phone. Taako makes his coffee in a ceramic mug, which at least means he doesn’t want Kravitz to get the fuck out as soon as possible, so that’s... something.

Taako slides the finished coffee across the counter, circling around to join Kravitz on the customer side as Kravitz grabs the mug.

“Lup!” he hollers, and then starts walking towards one of the corner booths without checking to see if his sister is headed to cash or if Kravitz is following. Kravitz does, though, sliding himself into the seat opposite Taako, hands wrapped tightly around the mug.

Taako speaks first. “To be honest, I kinda thought you would rat me out.”

“That would be shitty of me, to just sic authorities on your place of work without so much as a warning.”

“So is this the warning?”

“No,” says Kravitz, taking a sip of his coffee, “I... can’t really make coffee without burning it. And this is the only place for miles with tolerable muffins.”

Taako cracks a grin, like Kravitz knew he would. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” His smile falls, and he crosses his arms and leans back. “So. Reaper. Why didn’t you rat me out?”

Why indeed. Kravitz takes another sip of his coffee and thinks for a second, not even sure himself what his explanation will be once he starts talking.

“It didn’t seem... fair. You’re less of a villain and more of a pain in my ass—” Kravitz ignores Taako’s indignant noise and keeps talking, “—and while we always have cause to fight when on the clock, you’re not doing anything that I feel needs to leave the bounds of those... work hours, I guess.”

Taako is trying to pick him apart with his gaze; it’s something he’s been subjected to several times, although normally in costume, and in retrospect it’s difficult to imagine how he spent so long not noticing the Mongoose in Taako.

Whatever Taako is looking for, he must find it, because he relaxes a bit, and shoots him a lazy grin. “Plus, Mongoose related insurance just got rolling and it would be fuckin’ rude to take me out of commission before anyone got to use theirs.”

Kravitz laughs. “Sure.” He’s silent for a second, before adding, “You aren’t planning on revealing my secret identity, are you? Awfully rude of you to double cross me like that.”

“Wha— You didn’t even give me a chance to respond! Maybe I wasn’t!”

“Were you?”

“I was,” admits Taako, not even pretending to look sheepish. Kravitz raises his eyebrows, and Taako shrugs. “Oh, like you didn’t think about revealing my secret identity? And could you imagine the hype if I unmasked the Reaper? I was tempted.” He sighs. “But I figured then you’d have no reason to keep my identity a secret. No way am I risking a backfire like that.”

It sounds callous, but Kravitz has been talking to Taako almost daily for months; at this point, he can pretty reliably pick up on when Taako isn’t being entirely truthful about something.

“Hmm. Then I suppose it’d be in my best interest not to tell you that I wouldn’t reveal your identity even if you revealed mine?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Why not?”

Kravitz makes a face. “It’s just in poor taste. I just think we all go through all the trouble to hide who we are and use these powers for good— or whatever it is you do— that it’s always going to be such a low blow to reveal who we are. There might be times where it’s necessary, but petty revenge is not one of them.”

Taako’s expression hasn’t changed; if anything, he’s narrowed his eyes more. “God, you are like— fuckin’ irritatingly nice. Fine. I wasn’t going to reveal your identity. That would be fuckin’ annoying to deal with. Plus I’m having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Oh don’t— don’t fucking lie to me. I know you’re having fun out there too. With your stupid accent and one liners and shit.”

“Alright, alright,” says Kravitz, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not supposed to be having fun, so keep it quiet.”

“See, that’s why I market myself as a villain. No dumb rules.” He puts an elbow on the table and leans on his hand. “Why do you have a fake accent anyway?”

Heat rises to Kravitz’s face, and he’s hoping he looks less embarrassed than he feels. “It’s my— I do it so people don’t recognize my voice.”

Taako laughs. “Well, it doesn’t really do that if you immediately stop using it when you realize you might know someone.”

“I was caught off guard!” defends Kravitz. “It’s not every day you find out your nemesis is your barista.”

“Nemesis, huh?” Taako grins. “Didn’t realize it was that serious to you. You know I have other heroes to fight.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes again. “I don’t see how you have the time, considering how often you’re causing trouble for me.”

Taako laughs, and it’s so contagious and the whole conversation is so surreal Kravitz can’t help but laugh too, before they both lapse into a comfortable, if drawn out, silence.

“So, uh,” says Taako eventually, “what now?”

“Well,” says Kravitz, “I want to keep coming in for coffee in the mornings. And I assume the Mongoose will continue with... whatever chaos it is you currently have planned.”

“It’s not chaos,” insists Taako, “I have plans. But yeah. And I assume the Reaper is gonna show up and throw a wrench in those plans?”

“Yes, probably. So we’ll just be enemies by night...” Kravitz trails off, not entirely sure how to refer to their by day relationship. Friends? Potential love interests? Acquaintances? There’s a few seconds of awkward silence before Kravitz gives up entirely.

Taako pulls and pen and a napkin out of his pocket, jotting something down and pushing it towards Kravitz.

“Here’s, uh, here’s my number. If you give me a heads up five minutes before you get here, we can have your coffee ready by the time you walk in. If you’re nice to me out there.”

“I don’t take bribes,” says Kravitz, grabbing the napkin and pulling out his phone to type in the number.

“That wasn’t a bribe, it was a threat. You don’t even wanna know what I’ll do to your coffee if you fuck me up.”

Kravitz doesn’t bother to point out that neither of them have ever caused any extreme bodily harm to one another and instead says, “So you’re asking me to go easy on you? I thought you were having fun.” He sends Taako a ‘hey it’s kravitz’ text before he has time to second guess himself.

“Could you stop poking holes in my threats? You’re harshing my fuckin’ vibe, Krav.” He sounds irritated, but Kravitz can see the smile tugging at his lips as he texts Kravitz a couple of skull emojis. “I should get back to work before my sister kicks my ass,” he says, standing back up. “I’ll see you tonight, nemesis.” Then he turns on his heels and heads back to the counter, saying something to Lup as he walks by. Kravitz watches him disappear into the back room.

Tonight.

Kravitz had better make sure he had hung his cloak up to dry.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

 and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

 so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy 

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching? 

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled 

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)  

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up. 

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails 

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

 after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning  https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’ 

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music 

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it 

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet. 

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency 

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch 

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice 

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao