#now i'm gonna go get some caffeine and stuff and get to work

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (02)

chapter two: in plain sight

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut warnings: cursing, drinking, suggestive content at the end, could've been edited more but oh well lol word count: 4.9k

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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Damn baby, I'm a train wreck, too I lose my mind when it comes to you I take time with the ones I choose And I don't want to smile if it ain't from you

boyfriend - Ariana Grande ft. Social House

You end up not seeing Minho, nor any of your other friends, at all in the few days leading up to Yeonjun’s party.

True to your words, you were mostly holed up in your place, running on nothing but caffeine and sheer frustration, trying to finish your elective class’ final paper on the differences between the views of Greek philosophers. Time really flies when you wish it would slow down, because you could've used a couple more days to perfect the godforsaken thing.

You’ve been texting Minho though, and honestly, the man is practically a saint. You barely even talked about anything besides your stupid paper and your high maintenance perfectionist professor, and yet, he still listened to you yap away. He even offered to help you with your footnotes and citations, which you didn’t need, but the gesture was nice. If you had turned to Seungmin with your whining, he probably would've muted your notifications after three messages.

Regardless, all complaining aside, you did manage to pull through and finish the paper in the end, letting out a big sigh of relief the very second you clicked on the Send button on yours and your professor’s email thread just five minutes before the deadline.

Before you know it, it's already Saturday and Minho should be here any minute now so you two could go to the party. You’ve been working hard. You deserve to let a little loose tonight.

Even though a college party isn’t exactly your top choice of ways to wind down from stress, the mention of free and unlimited booze sure does sound alluring.

When your phone lights up with a simple i’m here from Minho, you quickly throw on a cardigan over a simple black camisole and denim shorts and check your makeup in the mirror one last time before heading downstairs. He texted you a couple hours ago, saying he had some stuff to pick up near your place and asking if you wanted to walk to Yeonjun’s together. You sent him back an enthusiastic yes!!! in a matter of seconds, because lord knows you’d rather not enter the front door of that house unaccompanied. 

You opted for a simple fit tonight, mostly because you couldn’t be bothered to put on anything more decent only to go to the equivalent of a frat party.

“Hey, Min.” Your voice pulls him away from scrolling through his phone, diverting his attention to you instead.

“Hey,” he says, tucking the device into the pocket of his jeans. When he gives you a once-over, you do a little twirl for him, finishing off with an exaggerated kick of your foot at the end. “You look nice.”

“Just ‘nice’? I’m trying to get laid tonight. ‘Nice’ isn’t gonna cut it,” you joke.

He stares at you, a bashful expression befalling his features, the corner of his mouth lifted upward as he smiles in hubris. “You’re trying to get laid by whom?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “You tell me.”

He rolls his eyes affectionately before throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. One of his hands musses up your hair that you spent twenty minutes trying to make look perfect, prompting you to poke him in the side so he would let go of you.

“Hey!” you scowl, smoothing over the strands that he flicked out of place. “I worked hard on that!”

“Sorry,” he chuckles, clearly amused by the temporarily sulky look on your face. “Didn’t want you to look too pretty. Can’t have all of the attention on you. Someone might try to steal you away from me.”

“Did it occur to you that maybe I want some attention tonight? I’ve been a hermit all week, I deserve a little something.”

“Is my attention not enough for you?”

You squint at him for a second. Then, you start walking in the direction of Yeonjun’s house without waiting for him. You hear Minho launch a laugh your way, and the scuffling of his shoes on the concrete pavement as he easily catches up with you in a few strides.

He leans down to whisper directly into your ear, making your cheeks heat up but you’re glad that they’re partially masked by the poorly lit street. “You know you never have to try.”

The walk to the party takes about fifteen minutes. When you’re rounding the street corner that leads to Yeonjun’s place, you can already hear the booming music coming from the biggest house on the block. Even from a distance, you can see people on the lawn and the two balconies on the second floor. You gotta give it to the guy - he sure knows how to throw a party.

The second you enter the premises, you’re almost taken aback by how crowded it actually is even though you expected this. A typical Yeonjun party.

You tug on Minho’s shirt, beckoning him to bend down so you could talk into his ear over the sounds of bad EDM and people basically having to scream in each other’s faces. “Are Hyunjin and the others here yet?” you ask.

“They got here right before us. I think they’re in-”

“Y/N!” The two of you whip around at the sound of a shrill voice calling out your name. Yeonjun practically shoves his way through the crowd of people when he spots you, bounding up to you and Minho with a bright grin on his face. “Glad you could make it!” he says, paying no mind to the man next to you at all. He eyes you up and down, shamelessly tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. “Damn, you look really good tonight.”

You give him a playful eye roll. Nonetheless, you still tell him, “Thanks.”

“You look that good to come to my party?”

You don’t mind at all the fact that Yeonjun is a natural flirt. That’s just a part of his personality, he’s inherently charming like that. It’s harmless and it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Everything is all in good fun.

“Would you believe me if I said this is what I’d wear on a midnight convenience store run?”

“Ouch, you wound me.” Yeonjun says, holding a hand over his heart to emphasize his point. “C’mon, you can admit it.”

You open your mouth, a quick comeback about to be thrown his way but Minho chimes in from beside you.

“You should believe her,” he deadpans, stepping closer to you, one of his hands grazing your back. He's even standing straighter, with his chest all puffed out. “She even dresses like that when she takes out the trash.”

You turn to gasp at him before punching him right in the pec. “Hey!” Yeonjun is all but forgotten in a blink of an eye, because you have to defend your honor first.

“What? I’ve seen you do it wearing this exact same outfit.”

“Stop lying. It’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? I distinctly remember you wearing this when you went to take out the trash that night a couple of weeks ago while we were hanging out at your place.”

“Nuh uh. I didn’t take out the trash that night,” you protest, frowning. “I made you throw it out for me on your way-”

Yeonjun interrupts you with a chuckle, glancing between you and Minho as he gives your friend's shoulder an awkward pat. They share a look that you don’t quite understand. “Alright, duly noted. I’m gonna make myself scarce,” he says. “Help yourselves. Booze is in the kitchen!”

After you’ve finally squeezed your way into the kitchen that’s overflowing with people, you narrow your eyes at Minho. “What was that about?”

“What?” He scans the selection of liquor bottles on the kitchen island before asking you, “Rum and Coke?”

Your favorite.

You nod eagerly, momentarily distracted before you have to circle back to your question.

“What was all that back there with Yeonjun, Mr. Grumpy Cat?”

“What was what?” He pulls out two solo cups from a nearby stack, along with some napkins, and meticulously wipes the plastic cups even though they look pretty clean to you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You raise a disbelieving eyebrow. He shrugs.

“I didn’t know you and Yeonjun were that close.” Minho seems casual as he tells you this, not looking at you as he fetches the necessary liquor and soda from the sea of glass and plastic bottles in front of you.

“We’re not. I’m kinda friends with him because Jess is friends with him.”

“Okay,” he acknowledges, though he doesn’t seem entirely pleased with… you don’t even know what. “I don’t like him. He’s loud.”

“That’s not a reason. Aren’t you friends with him too?”

You watch as he mixes your drinks, a sight you’re familiar with whenever you attend house parties together. He’s always your designated bartender.

One for you, one for him.

One part rum, two and a half parts coke.

“It is a reason. And ‘friends’ is a stretch,” he says, handing you your cup before he tends to his own. His has less liquor in it, because you both know you like yours stronger. “We’re acquaintances at best.”

“You’re loud too.”

“My brand of loud is different.”

“Is it?”

He gives you a look. An offended cat, if you’ve ever seen one.

“Well, Yeonjun’s not bad,” you tell him. You take a sip of the drink, then give him a subsequent thumbs-up. “He can be a bit much for some people, but I don’t really mind it.”

When he’s done, you both try to navigate the battlefield that is Yeonjun’s extremely cramped abode. You try to stay as close to him as possible, meaning away from the loud boys that are either trying to get shitfaced as quickly as possible, or trying to suck faces with any girl they could find as quickly as possible.

“Still. You don’t think the flirting was a bit much?”

Minho pulls you to him by your elbow when some guy - probably a little more than tipsy, judging by the unsteadiness of the legs that carry him - tries to bulldoze his way through the crowd behind you.

“He’s always like that. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s harmless.”

“If he asks you out, would you say yes?”

You blink at him in surprise, feeling like the question came out of nowhere. “What kind of question is that?”

“It’s just a question,” he says, then repeats himself. “So, if he asks you out, would you say yes?”

You let him guide you to a spot that’s more breathable, where people aren’t practically on top of each other trying to weave their way through. You think about it for a second, then realize that there isn’t much to think about. “No,” you say decisively.

Because it doesn’t make sense to envision you and Yeonjun together. You practically sit on two opposing ends of the same spectrum. People often say that opposites attract, but this isn’t one of those cases.

And… because you simply feel strange thinking about yourself and someone else. Like it's something you shouldn't do.

Minho gives you a hum in acknowledgment of your answer, which you barely catch over the loudness of the party. You do catch the hint of a smile that tugs at the corner of his lip though, before he cranes his neck to scan the room for any trace of your gang of thieves.

“If I didn’t know any better,” you run the words over in your head before you decide to utter them out loud. Like you told him just now, harmless, right? “I’d say you’re jealous of Yeonjun.”

He turns, stares at you for a moment with unreadable eyes. 

“And what if I am?”

There’s something incredulous in the way you look at him. You think he would just wave you off or roll his eyes and move onto a new topic, not expecting him to fire back with a question you can’t really answer.

Or maybe he’s just playing along. You can’t tell.

“Am I that good in bed?” you chuckle, hoping he doesn’t notice the inkling of nervousness in your voice. “Did I do a number on you?”

He raises both eyebrows, pursing his lips as if in thought. Then, he answers, “Something like that.”

There’s a part of you that wants to dig deeper, to get him to say what he really means because there’s something in his eyes and there’s something in the way that his hand has moved to its designated place on the small of your back that makes your stomach roll with anticipation.

Once again, you don’t like that he keeps getting harder for you to read.

You try to think of words to say, of questions to ask, though you know this party isn’t the best place to voice them. “What d-”

“There you are!” Hyunjin pops up from behind Minho, practically jumping onto his back like a jumpscare ghost in a horror game, startling the both of you and almost making the grumpy cat spill his drink. Minho groans as he tries to shove his friend off, before sending Hyunjin a glare that makes the man bow his head in apology. He promptly drags you to where your friends are gathered on a big couch near the back of the room - Chan and his girlfriend Jess, Seungmin, Changbin, along with a distinct absence of a few more faces.

“Where are the others?” you ask, plopping down next to Changbin, followed suit by Minho.

“Jisung is stuck finishing a project,” Chan informs you. “And Jeongin is taking his girl to that new drive-in movie place.”

“They’re still in their honeymoon phase?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Ah yes, young love. Good for them.”

You catch up with everyone about your week, about their week; gossip about how much Yeonjun might’ve spent on this party and where his family’s downright insane wealth actually comes from, about Seungmin’s on-and-off situationship (which might be more interesting than all of the above).

Minho remains seated next to you the entire time you’re all drinking and laughing with each other. He keeps subtly touching you one way or another - a hand on your back because no one’s really noticing, a shoulder brushing yours, a thigh touching yours, a knee nudging your own every now and then.

It’s not until you finish your drink that Minho asks if you want another one, then stands up to head to the kitchen when you say Yes, please.

The second he’s out of earshot, Hyunjin jumps into action, motioning for everyone to huddle together, like he’s about to share classified information.

“Minho is seeing someone,” he says immediately. 

“What?” Changbin asks. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your body immediately stiffens at the conversation’s sudden turn. You try to look as nonchalant and quiet as possible, as if this is just a talk about the weather, missing the way a pair of eyes flits to you outside of your peripheral vision.

Hyunjin purses his lips, before clarifying, “I went through his phone last week.”

“You went through his phone?” Chan frowns, shaking his head disapprovingly. “That’s not cool, dude.”

“He was in the bathroom and his phone was just sitting there unlocked. Then he got a text and I had to!” Hyunjin holds up his hands defensively. “Anyway, I don’t know if they’re dating or if they’re just fooling around, but there is someone! He’s simping hard.”

“How do you know that?” Seungmin chimes in. “Do you even know who it is?”

“I don’t know who it is. That’s what I need you guys to help me find out. There wasn’t a name name. He just calls her his-”

“What on earth are you guys doing?” Minho’s voice makes everyone disperse, leaning back into their respective seats like they were caught doing something they shouldn’t. He sits down beside you again, handing you your cup back. You give him an appreciative but awkward smile. “What is Hyunjin blabbing about this time?”

“Nothing!” Hyunjin practically squeaks. The poor guy can’t spin a little white lie to save his life. Then he has the audacity to look offended as he gapes, “Also, why did you automatically assume it was me?”

“Because it’s always you at the scene of the crime.”

“It happened one time! No, twice. It was only those two ti-!”

Seungmin cuts in flatly. “He said you’re whipped for a girl you’re seeing.”

Everyone stops to stare at Minho. Even you turn your head to look at him, trying to gauge how he’ll respond to this. It makes you a little guilty, seeing that you’re part of the secret too, and yet he has to shoulder the lies by himself.

Well, technically, there hasn’t been any lying involved up until now. Just a simple withholding of the truth.

His face hardens for a brief moment, and you think he lets it show on purpose - his way of telling Hyunjin that he’s annoyed - because Minho can put on a flawless poker face when he wants to. There’s a couple of seconds where he clenches his jaw before he relaxes, the sharpness of his features softening as he shrugs off the accusation. “I am most certainly not whipped for anyone,” he says. “It’s just a casual thing.”

“If it’s just casual, why were you being so secretive about it, huh?” Hyunjin prods. 

“I wasn’t being secretive. I just didn’t think it was anybody’s business,” Minho answers coolly. 

“We’re your best friends! I tell you guys everything.”

“You sure do. Even things I’d rather not hear about.”

Jess and Changbin burst into light laughter, and you chuckle along with them but you don’t really find it that funny. You’re just trying to blend into the background, be a fly on the wall and observe how things unfold. Minho has assured you that there’s nothing for you to worry about, that there’s no way they could find out about the secret, but still.

Hyunjin groans exasperatedly. The nosiest drama queen you know. “Seriously, who’s the girl? I’m dying of curiosity here!”

“Drop it.” Minho glares at him.

“Just give me a hint! Is it someone we know?”

“You haven’t eaten tissues in a while, have you?”

“Try me. I’m not scared of you anymore.”

“Hyunjin, I swear to-”

“Okay!” Chan claps his hands together suddenly. “Let’s just all agree that we are all entitled to our privacy and people can share whatever they want with whoever they want when they’re comfortable, yeah?”

Everyone nods in agreement, except for Hyunjin who narrows his eyes petulantly at Minho as if to say This isn’t over. No one wants to poke a disgruntled tiger, let alone about something he seems so disinterested in sharing. Minho has always been a notoriously private person, even with the rest of the group.

Changbin shuffles a new topic into the mix to move things along, which you aren’t very keen on contributing to at the moment. When no one seems to be looking, Minho places a hand on your knee, rubbing it soothingly as if he can sense the unease that you’re feeling. It makes you glance at him, though neither of you says anything. You just look at each other for a moment, then turn back to the group when someone calls your name.

Two hours and three rum and coke’s later, you were coming down from a good high when someone suggested ditching Yeonjun’s party to go to a club.

Normally, you would say no. You could only do one social event at a time, needing to recharge your metaphorical battery before you let yourself be dragged into the next one.

But you decided to make an exception for tonight.

Though, you promptly realized that it was probably a mistake.

You prefer the loudness of Yeonjun’s party than here. It’s loud and crowded, since it’s a Saturday night, and since it’s a club. The air is sticky and stuffy. The lights are perpetually blinding and headache-inducing. You’re not even on the dancefloor; you’re just hovering near the entrance and the bar, and there’s still barely any room to move. People keep trying to shove you out of their way, even with Minho attempting to act as your human shield. 

You let your displeasure be known through a deep frown.

Minho catches onto your chagrin almost immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asks, leaning close to your ear to make sure you hear him over the music.

“Too many people,” you try to raise your voice so the booming noises don’t drown you out. “Can we go somewhere over there?”

He turns around, taps on Chan’s shoulder to get his attention before gesturing vaguely to that spot near the back that you just pointed out to him, presumably to let the others know that you’ll be wandering over there.

He takes your hand and leads the way. In the back, it’s still loud but less deafening than before, and much less crowded compared to the areas surrounding the dance floor.

“Better?” he asks.

You lean against the wall though you probably shouldn’t. The ick is apparent, but at this point in the night, you yourself are already feeling pretty gross anyway.

“A little bit,” you say. “Thanks.”

“You wanna go home? We can leave if you want.”

“Without saying goodbye?”

“Did you know that people who leave parties without saying goodbye save two days a year? It’s been researched.”

You rephrase your words so Minho would understand better. “Without Hyunjin’s permission?”

“Hyunjin has been pissing me off plenty all week. I can play my card for you.”

“What card?”

“The ‘I don’t give a fuck’ card.”

You tilt your head, clearly amused. “And how does that usually work out for you?”

“I don’t care how it works out because Hyunjin is not gonna do anything to me.” He shrugs. “Besides, I can always just throw him in the airfryer when he gets too annoying.”

This makes you laugh, recalling the exact moment Minho brought up the legendary instructions on how to cook Hyunjin.

“How violent,” you comment with a snort.

“He deserves it.”

“You know you still have a soft spot for him,” you say.

“I have a soft spot for you,” he replies.

“Now look who’s trying to get laid.”

He grins. “Could you blame me?”

Some drunk girls stumble into your space on their way to the bathroom, bumping into you, pushing you into Minho’s body where he instinctively puts a hand on your back to keep you steady. You glance up at him after the girls have safely arrived at the bathroom, only to find him already staring down at you. His back is turned toward where the lights are coming from and the angle shrouds his face in darkness, but you can still make out the stars twinkling in his eyes.

The sudden lack of space between your bodies makes your breath hitch.

“Are you still drunk?” he asks.

“No. Not really.” You don’t like the way your voice comes out small, vulnerable.

“I…” he starts, hesitating for a moment before he continues. His eyes flicker to your lips, and the breath that was previously caught in your throat further thickens. “Fuck, I really want to kiss you right now.”

For some reason, your heart leaps to your throat. It’s probably because of the remnants of alcohol refusing to leave your system, because how else would you explain the way your pulse quickens just from hearing those words coming from him?

He bites his lip, similar to how Yeonjun did it just a few hours ago, but seeing Minho do it is at least a hundred times more enticing.

You want him to kiss you too. You really do.

“What if the others see?” you protest meekly, but you’re already staring at his mouth, finding yourself gravitating toward him like he’s got you hypnotized.

“We’re all the way back here,” he tells you. “They won’t see anything.”

He leans closer until his lips are brushing yours. With a hand on your hip and the other on the back of your head, he meets your mouth in a soft kiss, which is a stark contrast to the upbeat and booming music blasting all around you. Some guy drunkenly gives you two a sleazy whistle, the sound coming from somewhere on your right, but neither of you pays it any attention.

Your hands come to clutch at the collar of his shirt like a lifeline. He’s never kissed you outside of the comfort of your bedroom before, let alone amidst a sea of people like this. It feels strange to be intimate with him in public, but at the same time, it excites you. There’s still a sense of anonymity because you’re camouflaged by the lights, masked by the darkness, hiding in plain sight.

The kiss gets more heated. He guides you a step back until you’re all pressed up against the wall, your hands tangling in his hair, tugging on it the way he likes that makes him groan against your mouth. He sucks on your bottom lip before shoving his tongue into your mouth, the wet muscle dancing with yours, making your knees buckle. It’s dizzying. It makes your head spin, and you don’t know if it’s because there’s still enough residual alcohol in your system to knock your world off its axis, or if it’s just him.

The hand previously on your hips sneaks underneath your shirt to rub at your bare skin. He gropes your breasts over the bralette you chose to wear tonight, squeezing the soft flesh in his palm, all the while slotting one of his legs between yours to help you grind on him. Your clothed cunt rolls over the denim of his jeans, and even though the friction is coarse and your movements are limited in this crowded space, the pleasure still sets your entire body alight. Minho spreads all over you like wildfire, and Minho consumes you like a hurricane.

You moan into his mouth when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, over the flimsy material of your undergarment. “Min,” you whimper desperately. You don’t know if he can hear you over the obnoxiously loud sounds coming from the speakers littered all over the place, but he groans against your mouth regardless. Almost like the nickname is driving him crazy.

He pulls back just slightly, to let the both of you catch your breath. “Should we go back to yours?” he asks, eyes still focused on your mouth.

You nod eagerly. You know you must be wet as hell right now, and if you have to wait any longer, you will probably explode from frustration. You might just drag him into that disgusting bathroom over there and let him have his way with you, but you will definitely regret it afterward because it’s a bathroom in a nightclub. It’s beyond revolting.

He helps you smooth out your hair, gentle and tender. In turn, you wipe your lipstick smudges on his face. Instead of taking you by the hand like he did earlier, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and navigates the two of you through the crowd, shielding you from anyone who might bump into you. You lean into the touch; it’s just comforting.

As you make your way back to the group - or what’s left of the group at the moment - his hand drops to his side again. There’s an inkling of disappointment that blossoms in you, but it dissipates quickly when Hyunjin spots you and lights up. Him and Seungmin are at the bar, seemingly trying to get the bartender’s attention. Changbin is next to them, but he doesn’t seem to care about anything other than the girl he’s chatting with. You try to scan the crowd for Chan and Jess, and find them a couple minutes later, standing in a corner, pressed up against each other just like you and Minho moments ago.

“Where did you run off to?” Hyunjin asks. Clearly Chan was too preoccupied with his girlfriend to relay the information.

“It’s too loud in here, I was getting a headache,” you say, only half a lie. You know your face must still be flushed from your impromptu makeout session, but you hope your friend can’t see the rosy shade painting your skin under all the flashing lights. “Min and I just went back there to see if it was quieter.”

“Okay.” He seems to believe you. “We’re trying to get drinks! You want anything?”

“I think I’m gonna just go home. You guys stay and have fun though.”

Hyunjin looks at you like he’s so flabbergasted. “It’s not even 3AM yet!”

“Headache,” you say, pointing to your temple with an exaggeratedly pained expression on your face. “I’ll stay out all night with you next time.”

“But-!” The second he opens his mouth to protest, Minho cuts in sharply, his tone leaving no room for anyone to argue despite the gigantic pout on Hyunjin’s face.

“I’m gonna take her home and call it a night too,” he simply says.

Hyunjin groans, but he relents in the end, muttering to you something that sounds like “You owe me one,” when you go to hug him goodbye. Before you and Minho can reach the door, you hear your man child of a friend call after you two in his pterodactyl voice, “Don’t make Minho’s girl jealous!”

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 04.01.2024]

[thevoidstaredback]

Phantom's Coffee

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant Side Story

There is a lot that comes with being a ghost. Most of that is really cool superpowers. The unfortunate side effect with the whole being dead thing is that he doesn't have need for human functions or sustenance.

It had been a horrible thing to discover, really. The lack of constant need for sleep and food and drink was sometimes useful, but that came with the realization that nothing affected him.

At first, Danny and his team thought it was because he was dead. No blood flow, no working organs, no metabolism. This lead to a lot of experimentation. Drugs and alcohol had no effect, neither did poisons. He didn't get sick anymore, no matter what he did!

And then he realized that coffee didn't work.

Naturally distraught, Danny went straight to Frostbite to figure out what was going on. It's finals season, damnit! Coffee was gonna be the one thing to pull him through his studies!

"From what I can tell," the yeti explained, "your human functions have stopped. Quite the opposite, really."

Danny blinked. "But, I'm dead. Ghosts don't have working organs or stuff like that."

"Indeed, but you're only half dead."

"What difference does that make?"

Why did Frostbite now have charts, and where did they come from? "I can only guess, but when you died and brought back, the electricity jump started everything in your body. It essentially supercharged you. I can only assume that it'll die down in time to the point of non-function, but we can't know for sure."

"Wait," Danny's voice was nervous, "What does that mean?"

Frostbite took a minute to think over his words, looking for how to phrase what he wanted to say. "When you are alive, your heart beats slower than it did before your death, yes?"

"Yeah."

"That would be the effects of the ectoplasm that reanimated you. Your heart rate is slower, breathing takes a more conscious effort, your blood flow is slower, your organs are all working at half of what they used to." He took another moment of pause. "When you are dead, your heart beats faster than it did, breathing is faster, blood flow is faster, your organs are working at twice capacity."

Danny's breathing, now that he was very aware of it, picked up. "What- But that- What?!"

"With a high enough voltage, electricity kills. With a high enough concentration, ectoplasm reanimates."

"Reani- but I'm alive!"

"Indeed."

"But that doesn't make sense!"

"Doesn't it?"

"No!"

"Perhaps I should try a different phrasing." Frostbite said. "When you are Danny Fenton, you are more dead than alive in the sense that your body has been killed and not fully revived. When you are Danny Phantom, you are more alive than dead in the sense that your body was revived and not fully killed."

Danny was quiet for a moment. "Reanimated and revived aren't interchangeable, Frostbite."

"In some contexts', no. In others, they are."

"Are they here?"

A beat. "Yes."

Danny knew he was lying, but he didn't call him out on it. That was a crisis for another day, thank you very much.

So, higher metabolism for Danny Phantom, lower one for Danny Fenton. Great.

All crises pushed aside to freak out about never later, Danny's ew mission was to find out exactly how much caffeine would be required to give him the buzz of wakefulness that he was searching for.

Normally, the course of action would to be to measure how much e weighs and look up the maximum caffeine intake his body could handle. It was the first thing he tried, and it failed.

By the tried and true method of 'Fuck It, We Ball', Danny learned that he needs to have 35,000 milligrams of caffeine in a single sitting before any effect takes hold when he's drinking as Phantom.

The calculations running at a 5:1 ratio, caffeine milligrams to weight pounds, the lowest end on the scale of average weight of a small female elephant (3,175 kilos), multiplied by five gives him the 15,875 milligrams that would be enough to give him a low buzz and keep him awake for a few hours. That's enough to kill the elephants on the low end of the scale.

(Jazz vetoed any kind of caffeine that wasn't naturally occuring in chocolate when he's Danny Fenton. She said that he's already died once and that he doesn't need heart problems to kill him.)

(Danny calls bull, but he isn't willing to risk his sister's ire.)

Because he can't let finals get the best of him, Danny decided to take it a step further.

The highest end of the scale for the average weight of female elephants is 4,050 kilos, multiplied by the same five, gives 20,250 milligrams of caffeine.

Essentially, the lower end of the scale would give him the same effect as 99 (and a bit) 473 milliliter cans of Rockstar Energy Drinks in one sitting. The higher end of the scale would be 126 (and a bit) 473 milliliter cans of Rockstar Energy Drinks in one sitting.

All that was left to do, now that he has the maths for the desired effect figured out, was to mix that in his favorite drink: A Red Eye.

Truly an abomination for the ages.

After way too much brain power, Phantom's completed coffee order looks like this:

A large Red Eye with 20,250 mg of caffeine

2 tablespoons of cinnamon

1 tablespoon of honey

1/8 cup of chocolate syrup

and 3 mint leaves or 1 teaspoon of mint extract

(he added 4 shots of vodka when he turned 21)

Danny is gonna kick his finals' ass, and be hyped up on caffeine while doing it!

Storyboard

[lowkeyremi]

His birthday k. bokuto

Remi's note: Happy birthday to my favorite owl, ily (also i wrote the sky-diving thing based on my own experience)

CW: established relationship, fluff, kinda rushed

"WOOHOO!" He screams, and you startle awake.

"W-what? Ko baby what's up?" You ask sleepily. You open your eyes, they're bleary and you're trying to comprehend what's going on right now.

"Honey get up! It's my birthday! Let's go celebrate!!" Bokuto spouts all at once. You'd think after a certain age people wouldn't care too much about their birthdays. Your husband proves you wrong because he is twenty-eight, and still excited like a two year old going to chuck-e-cheese for their birthday.

"Slow your roll, I still need to get up. I also need caffeine." You mumble. Those golden eyes watch as you sit up and blink slowly to adjust to the morning.

"Don't worry, sweetness! I already made you some (coffee or tea)!" He exclaims with a cup in his hand. How did that get there? You could have sworn that wasn't in his hand a few seconds ago.

When he hands you the mug you take a nice long sip with a loud exhale at the end. "Thanks, Ko."

"Mhm, what're you feeling today? I have a couple outfits picked out for ya!" He points to the dress where sure enough, there are three or four outfits laid out.

"Where are we going? You seem to wanna get a move on." The one thing that you never understood was why Bokuto wanted to spoil you on his birthday. He always takes you places and buys you stuff. He says 'seeing you happy makes me happy, and that's all I want for my birthday.'

Every year he tells you not to get him anything besides your love. Which is cheesy. You got him something.

This actually took a long time to plan because you had to think of something he wouldn't expect. Kuroo played a role in your surprise gift.

"Yeah I do. We're driving two hours today. The sooner we get there the better." You look at him in disbelief.

"Kotaro Bokuto." You say sternly.

"I promise this time it's gonna be something I wanna do." That's what he's said in the past and it was never true.

----

He watched you go through you're daily routine, smiling at every little thing. He was over excited about helping you with little things like slipping your shoes on or setting the timer so your makeup could dry.

You guys where ready to go around nine am. Bokuto stopped by his favorite restaurant to get breakfast to go for the ride.

"These burritos never fail!!" He exaggerates with a loud moan as he takes another huge bite.

"You are a piece of work." You sigh with a smile taking a bite out of your own burrito.

Throughout the ride Bokuto plays songs you used to listen to when he first met you. He purposely sung off key just to piss you off make you laugh.

He wanted to play road-trip games but you had to remind him countless times that he was DRIVING so he can't play road-trip games.

------

You really had no clue where he'd brought you. The place looked empty based on the amount of cars present in the parking lot. Before you can even process it, he opens your car door, "Come on honey, don't wanna be late."

Your hands are intertwined and he guides you into a small white building.

"I brought you to an indoor sky-diving place because I'm too scared to actually sky-dive, yet." He explains, a grin crosses your face when he mentions real sky-diving.

"Let's do it then!" You say excitedly.

Bokuto checks you two in for your reservation. The instructor takes you two back to a little room to teach you the basics of indoor sky-diving. She says it's similar to outdoor sky-diving. She shows you the three hand signals you'll need to know so the operate can know how you're feeling.

Once you two have grasped the concept so she brings you to the sky-diving area. Bokuto goes first, he looks so cute and funny swinging his legs all around in the glass cylinder trying to remember what the woman had taught him.

"Baby look! I'm flying!" He yells trying to flap like a bird, which messes up his flow and causes him to bump into the glass wall. Your giggle goes unnoticed as he exists the glass when the air stops flowing.

"Mrs. Bokuto, you're up!" The operator yells. After checking your helmet once more you're stepping into the cylinder.

Over all the experience was quite fun and you got some good pictures of your husband being silly.

-----

When you arrived home, you put your hand over Bokuto's eyes in order to keep him from looking.

You motion to Kuroo who is already in you're house looking at you waiting for the signal.

"Okay Ko, open them up!" He opens his eyes and you remove your hand. Standing round your kitchen table is Tsukki, Kuroo, Akaashi, Kenma, Atsumu, Hinata, and surprisingly Sakusa.

"Happy birthday!!" They all say in unison.

"I wanted you to celebrate with your friends, so outside I set up the net so you guys can play a few rounds of volleyball." You say meekly with a huge smile plastered on your face.

"Babyyyyyy." Bokuto drags out with a smile.

"Thank you so much! Come on guys! Let's go play some volleyball before it gets super late!" Bokuto kisses you. When he detaches his lips from you, he grabs your arm and drags you out to come play volleyball with all his friends.

[diagonal-queen]

hello can i request dazai, kunikida, and fyodor with an insomniac s/o who's really tired after a busy day but can't seem to fall asleep no matter what and gets frustrated bc of it

"Can't sleep?"

♡ pairing: Dazai Osamu, Doppo Kunikida, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do they help their S/O with insomnia get to sleep?

♡ cw: Reader is an insomniac (I genuinely don't know how that would manifest itself as a trigger but hey! I'm just one person in a sheltered world. Stay safe everyone <3), probably super inaccurate because I myself am not an insomniac and don't really know everything about it, Dazai horny, mentions of taking medication, mentions of alcohol, swearing

note: I feel like garbage cus my writing takes forever and I feel like I'm letting y'all down for taking so long with reqs, but I don't know what to do to fix itttttttt. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Dazai:

Well reader. You're lucky you cuffed yourself a night owl

He'll help you calm down from your frustration and tell you that it's fully normal. Everyone has trouble falling asleep, and you just haven't figured out an effective routine yet. He doesn't really know what he's talking about but if it makes you feel better then meh

His first suggestion would probably be sex, to tire you out. Even better if you go for multiple rounds just to be sure~

Yeah right Dazai, like anyone's gonna wanna fuck every single work night (besides him lmao). Safe to say, the idea is thrown out pretty quickly

He'll throw some similar ideas around (not necessarily sexual but certainly 'if they're tired out then they'll fall asleep faster') but those are all just temporary solutions, so he gives up quickly. What else did you expect from him?

He might also suggest drinking yourself to sleep since alcohol is a depressant and makes you tired. You have to remind him that excessive drinking is actually not good for you and should NOT be used as a substitute for sleep meds

He reckons that it's best for you two to let sleep overtake you naturally, and so you may as well just stay up for now.

From then on Dazai treats every single night like a sleepover. He'll wanna watch movies, eat snacks, and talk all night even if it's a work night and you absolutely shouldn't do that

If you want, he's happy to do something more chill like cuddling while sharing a pair of earphones playing mellow music

Whatever it is that the pair of you decide to do, he'll likely find that it helps him just as much, maybe even more, than it helps you. And he's grateful for that

Kunikida:

I feel like Kunikida also has at least mild insomnia, so he knows just how you feel and is right there to help you out

He's got it all ready. Fans/blankets to balance out the room's temperature, a warm drink (milk, tea, whatever you prefer), basically all the stuff Google would suggest

He would do all of that stuff alongside you even if he's already tired enough to fall asleep on his own because he understands the struggle. He doesn't give up until you're asleep and honestly get you a man who would also do that

He also discourages you from things like caffeine before bed or napping during the day to help you get more sleep at night

He'd make a whole new bedtime routine for the two of you and adjust it based on what works, it'd be like a whole thing that he takes super seriously

He'd suggest reading before bed and recommend/lend you books that he likes, and also read to you if you really pleaded for it. He really enjoys reading and he would be thrilled if the pair of you had a little thing you did together <3

If they don't give any side effects/react poorly with any meds you may already take then he would also give you some of his sleeping pills (because let's be real he's fully stocked with them. this man)

Kunikida would let you cuddle him in your sleep whether or not he likes it or it makes him sweat, because let's face it you need the sleep and he needs the physical touch. It's basically a win-win

He gives you permission to wake him up if you can't sleep and need his help, or if you want company in your waking time.

He honestly does whatever it takes to help you because he cares so much about you. Perfect man fr

Fyodor:

Bold of you to assume that Fyodor sleeps. Like ever. He's too busy being evil or something

When he learns that you're an insomniac he's fully willing to let you stay up late with him while he's working if you're in need of company. He doesn't care whether you're just on your phone or reading a book or whatever

If you ask him he'll also let you sit in his lap and cuddle him (as long as you don't bother him- if you do he's sending you right to bed)

Fyodor knows that calming music is a good way to help people sleep, so if you're down he'd be willing to play something mellow and soft on his cello for you

He probably wouldn't admit it but he kinda likes that you find it hard to get to sleep since it gives him an excuse to spend more time with you

But if you really do wanna get to bed then he'll have some tea made for you and he'll read to you. His voice is very relaxing and nice to fall asleep to and he kinda knows it (he's smug about it too because he's a bastard)

If you find that you actually sleep better in his presence then he's more than happy to move a couch into his office and let you sleep there.

He's also happy to forfeit (SOME) work so he can come to bed earlier and help you sleep. And he's also happy to cuddle you because you're warm

Fyodor will basically just help you get to sleep with methods that he uses to get himself to sleep because it's the only way he knows how. Even if it doesn't work please give him credit for trying because he really is trying super hard T-T

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug! Obviously it's a bit older now, but I was wondering if you might be able to translate Sougyaran BAM, from Kuko? I feel like I don't quite understand the TLs I have seen, so I was wondering if there were certain references or concepts I'm missing here lol

I saw the email notification of this request at the perfect moment. Too anxious to do work or anything else productive. Too caffeinated to sleep. Fuck it. Time to look at Kuukou for an hour.

Under a cut for length

Like a lot of Kuukou's... well, everything... this song is an eclectic mix of elements that can all more or less be distilled into these couple of bullet points:

Trying to fight the listener

Dropping powerful life advice or Buddhist teachings

Claiming his music is both a game changer and the kind of stuff that gets your blood pumping

Scatting, rhyming without meaning, or otherwise making wordplay

Outside of the parts that are straight-up nonsensical, the majority of the rap is very casual to the point of being rude. However, it's also interspersed with formal religious language. Again, both of these are how Kuukou talks, but I get why this would make it difficult for someone to translate.

I talk about this a lot whenever I translate anything, but an important (and maybe the most important!) part of any translation is determining the methodology, focus, and goals before you begin. I figure that if someone's asking me to look at song lyrics for songs that have been out for years, they probably care a lot more about the minutiae of what the character's saying than if I'm writing a rap as part of a longer work where readers aren't going to give it much attention. In that second case, it's probably more important to convey the appearance of a rap--rhyme, rhythm, what have you--and make sure I'm hitting the overall meaning rather than translate word-for-word. You know? The issue is, translating word-for-word would produce mostly nonsense on this one, since my interpretation of its meaning is largely coming from reading between the lines. There's also no real meaning outside of the four bullet points above. It's all vibes. So, this is a vibe-focused translation. When Kuukou says something with no meaning (that I can tell) outside of wordplay, I've exchanged it with a fresh wordplay. At the same time, since I assume the audience wants to know the minutiae, I put footnotes at the very end for the most curious souls. Finally, outside of wordplay moments, there is no attention paid to rhyming, rhythm, or line length.

Also I spent like forty minutes on it so it isn't a polished work of art or anything of the sort. Lyrics:

You wanna piece of this? That’s cool, tough guy. Bring it on. ‘Cause I’mma mess you up. Hmm? You’ve had enough? Yeah, bitch, I bet you’re fuckin’ SATIETIED. Who the hell do you think you are? Aw, who I am kidding? It doesn’t matter who you are. I’ve never met an ass I couldn’t kick! And while I’m here thrashing your sorry butt, listen up. I’m Kuukou from Bad Ass Temple, representing Nagoya, yo. And I’m gonna be world champion. Whazzat? Who do I think I am, some kinda fancy-pants hotshot? Nah, dawg. I’m a monk, haha! Get in the zone, do it or go home, this ain’t the scene you’ve known. [1] I’m a rebellious rhymer staging a revolution. C’mon, join me! Let me hear your voices!

“Enough determination can move mountains,” as they say. Yeah, a-a-a-and I’ve got determination for days.

San gha gharan bam! [2] S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue [3] Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader [4] Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Say what? Rules, rules, rules—who the fuck cares about rules? I’m the ruler now. A ruler and a schooler. [5] Yo, I’ve got that brand new music— When I ring this giant bell, people hear that shit far and wide. Beat it! And lyrics? You already know I spit so much fire they call me a dragon. I’m all about the impulses, the anarchy, let’s fuckin’ go! I’m a breath of fresh air up in this shit. Eight pulls, nine pulls, ten pulls—someone say temples? [6] If you don’t know already, then you oughta listen up. You don’t need any of these options. Go make your own. Paint that shit vibrantly. Go try something new! And if it goes so well you can indulge in some goddamn rejoicin’? Then hell yeah, now we’re talking.

Yo, man. The world’s all in how you see it, as they say, and don’t you ever forget it. A-a-a-and I may be a monk, but I’m not preachin’ just to scold you! [7]

San gha gharan bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue Check, ch-ch-ch-check it, che-wa-watch out Gha bam! S-S-S-Scatting n’ rapping, rapping, BAT’s sexy leader Kick, kickin’ kickin’ killer San gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam gha gha gharan bam Gha gha gha gha gharan bam

Yeah, life’s got ups and downs. You asking me, “Whatchu lookin’ at?” [8] Your ASS, lol got ‘em. Wassup, wassup, I’m a rhymer. I’m makin’ some good shit up in here. Hm? Ey, dance, dance over days when our hearts are aligned [9] Shoo bidoo doo bidoo Roo bidoo doo bidoo Tickili tickili tackili-tatt-too

Yeah! Haha! My rapping’s freakin’ EXHILARATORY. Hello! Aight, c’mon on, lemme give you some of this and wake you right up. Yo, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ho!

Gharan bam gharan bam Gh-gh-gh-gh hey! Bring it on, tough guy! R-r-rapping, rapping, r-r-rapping with my razzle-dazzle tongue R-r-rapping, yeah, gh-gh-gh, hey!

Yeah, clear the scene, ‘cause I’mma reinvent the scene. [10] Yo, get outta my way. I’m Evil Monk, the dragon of Bad Ass Temple, you know. Rrrrrrah! [1] This last is literally "clear weather (空)" or "energetic vibes (空)." At face value, it appears to be nonsense for rhyming. However, at the very end of the song, Kuukou talks about "the vibes/the scene (空気)" changing and him changing it (which can also be read as the weather changing/clearing up), which makes me wonder if those two are related. Just in case, I wrote them with a possible connection in English too.

[2] 僧伽藍 (sangharan) is a short form of 僧伽藍摩 (sangharama), a Buddhist temple or monastery. Bam is, of course, the sound of Kuukou throwing hands.

[3] 饒舌 (jouzetsu) is a fairly formal word in Japanese to refer to excessive talking. However, I was surprised to learn in the process of TLing this that it's also Chinese for rapping which appears to be how Kuukou's using it here. Also, if you're curious how English "jazzy" became "razzle-dazzle," I realized near the end of the song that I needed to start this word with the same sound as "rapping" (because he scats the j sound on jazzy and jouzetsu) whereupon I set out to find a good synonym. The issue is, I wasn't sure exactly how the lyric writers were using the term, so I put "jazzy" in an English-to-Japanese dictionary to get "loud, invigorating, eye-catching." Yeah, that's Kuukou all right. "Razzle-dazzle" is similar and starts with an r, so there we go.

[4] The lyrics say "xy な leader" (the な is just indicating that "xy" is being used as an adjective, btw) which I assumed means sexy... ekkusu ii said quickly sounds like sekushii. To be sure I wasn't barking up the wrong tree entirely, I ran a quick Twitter search on that line and found a very large number of Japanese Tweeters thinking the exact same thing I was. (It looks like Kuukou's VA once flashed his collarbone on this line in a concert, delighting scores of collarbone lovers everywhere.) That being said, searching anything on Twitter and finding horny Tweets isn't exactly a novel concept. Well, if I'm wrong about this, then at least I'm in the good company of all the thirsty Kuukou fans. Hahaha. If this seems OoC to you, I feel like it's here mainly for fanservice, not necessarily because Kuukou's trying to get some with the person he's beating up and/or preaching at. Although, idk. If you ship Kuukou with anyone, you could very well see some parallels...

[5] Literally "I'll beat up [everything] including the roulette board." Wordplay on rules (ruuru), ruler (ruuraa), and roulette (ruuretto)

[6] Literally "Terapii (therapy), terapii, terapii, tera (temple)-- Oh, the age of temples?" Wordplay/stupid joke

[7] I don't like how I worded this line, but I don't care enough to spend much more time fussing over it. Kuukou's making a joke that, as a monk, he delivers religious sermons 説法. However, in colloquial terms, a 説法 is a telling-off when someone does something undesirable. Kuukou, as a frequent doer of undesirable things, gets these from his dad constantly. Therefore, he's being like, "This isn't the LAME STUPID kind of 説法... this is the kind that ROCKS! *sick guitar riff*"

[8] These two lines seem like complete non sequiturs because they're paired together in Japanese for rhyming. (nami ga dekiru/nani ga mieru)

[9] I admit that I'm struggling to understand this line because the grammar is very irregular. Japanese Twitter is not being especially helpful here, as most Tweets featuring it are some version of "God, this damn song is stuck in my head."

[10] Literally "[Someone] changes the atmosphere/scene. The atmosphere/scene changes." See note 1

[prismuffin]

I'm very sorry Crow Anon. I did steal our brain cell, I couldn't remember how to clean my clothes and needed big brain power. ÒWÓ

👉👈 I give it back, I promise.

But, Pris I have an ask for you, that may cheer you up!!

How do you think taking care of the batboys (separately) after they got their wisdom tooth taken out, would go??!

I think it would be funny, snice they're chaotic on their own. Without any drugs in their system.

(Alfred definitely banned Dick "Its faster if I jump out the window to the floor balcony under me" Grayson from drinking caffeine until he was an adult).

- OwO

As someone who’s gotten their wisdom teeth removed quite recently I’d say I’m capable of answering this ask. Each of these scenarios has a bit from my experience ok? so—

Jason would be the type to just want to nap. Even when you successfully got him in the car to take him home all he was doing was saying how he wanted to nap but ong he never even tries to close his eyes to sleep once. After you both get home and you help him into bed the first thing he does after you change his gauze is crash. Which makes things difficult for you because now you have to undress his limp body and move it so that he's not laying down completely so that he doesn't accidentally choke since he's still rather numb. When he wakes up he's sad about the food he can't eat so he tries not to for as long as he can. Overall a very sleepy guy after getting his wisdom teeth removed.

Dick is so chaotic off the bat. Even when they were wheeling him out to the car you could tell that he was gonna be a handful. Tried to call everyone on his phone and when that failed he resorted to carpool karaoke. You tried to get him to stop since he shouldn't try talking but he just wouldn't shut up. Once you got home and tried to get him into bed he'd just be laughing at your struggle which would just make you struggle more since he'd be even harder to move while laughing. Because of the laughter he bleeds all over the floors and his shirt which he only laughs harder at. Similar to Jason kinda because once you replace his gauze he's out like a light, and finally you have a moment of silence for the time being. (this entire paragraph was just my experience and I'm not even joking LMFAO)

Tim would probably be almost the most tame, he'd be very sleepy and would start to mumble about tech he's working on. He'd ask you questions about designs and such and you'd just have to remind him to sit still and try not to talk much. Overall a sweetheart, he listens to you and doesn't try and talk while you're switching out his gauze. He sleeps, wakes up, and eats jello all day. The least of your problems honestly.

Damian would be quiet at first...too quiet, then comes the complaining. He'd be annoyed that he was in pain and numb at the same time??? Makes a song about the pain. You have to stop him from biting his lips because he's numb and is probably biting way harder than he realizes. After getting him home and changing his gauze he's very vocal about his hunger and is sad that he can't have normal food, but he likes the chocolate pudding so it's bittersweet for him. After his numbing wares off some and the pain starts hitting he's even more complainy- especially since he did bite his lip too hard and now it's bleeding which neither of you noticed until then. He's fine if you can get him to stop complaining though.

( I’m so so sorry this took me a minute to answer yesterday I woke up and my day went to shit and stuff happened and I had a mental breakdown and forgot all about this message! )

———

Directory

[britt-kageryuu]

It's apparently a slow day at the clinic today, because Leo is streaming from the clinic front desk with the AR setup. His model is in blue scrubs, a lab coat, his mask with Trans tails, and blue crocs with pride jibbitz.

He was just chatting to the audience while organizing the comic books on the small shelf on top of a couple small filing cabinets.

"Every now and then I wonder how much sleep Dee gets. Like sure he's between big projects for GB so that's good, but he's working on this game, and another odd project that I thought was abandoned." Leo then grabs a thicker graphic novel from the shelf. "Then the other day Dee comes into my room looking kinda crazy, saying he found our long lost sister and handed me another book with a mutant turtle with a yellow bandana!"

He shows the cover that has a turtle with a yellow bandana looking over her shoulder with claw blades on her hands. It reads Jennika the Fifth Turtle.

"I haven't read it yet, which is why it's here, but I'm seriously starting to wonder were these books are coming from. But I did promise not to question it, if only for my sanity." Leo pauses and looks to the side while putting the book on top of the shelf, where the entrance of the clinic might be. "Oh hey, you're looking amazing! Here for your prescription refill? Just a sec."

Leo walks around the camera, and muting his mic. He didn't put the stream into a standby, so once again the client is apparently curious about the camera.

The person tries to lean into frame, only to have a basic orange bipedal cat model in a white tshirt and black pants pops into frame on top of the person. Chat is kinda confused, but find it funny that there is a fail safe for anyone walking into frame.

The person is trying to say something, obvious by the mouth moving, but the camera doesn't have a microphone on it. They then go a bit stiff and sidestep out of frame as Leo walks back into frame with an amused look on his face. He turns his mic back on.

"Well I haven't learned my lesson about streaming from here, but oh well." He hands the client a small shopping/gift bag with cartoon turtles on it. "It's okay, I need to learn not to do this. And I probably will do this again anyway. Here's your prescription. Have a lovely day~"

After a few seconds he turns back to the camera, and lets out a sigh. "Yeah, I will definitely need to remember to switch over to a BRB screen, but I will probably keep forgetting, because I will keep getting distracted."

A donation notice goes off with Rivers voice reading, "Why did you give them a gift bag for their prescription? Also the cat model was cute."

"Oh the bags? Yeah we give those as a more discreet way for our clients to carry out their stuff. There are even other sizes, and materials." He grabs a canvas bag from beside the camera that has rainbow sea turtles swimming across it. "It's included in the price of whatever you need to carry. Whether it's medical related or you want to buy some of the tea or coffee. Yeah we sell the coffee in the clinic, but we keep track of who can and can't have which blends. Since some of the caffeine levels are not good for some people."

Leo puts the bag back, and takes a drink of his tea from a Jupiter Jim tumbler, and brings the book back down.

"Well, going back to that comic, I think this isn't actually our sister, just some random turtle mutant, or something. I'm not gonna read this on stream, so stop asking." Leo says as he goes back to organizing the bookshelf. "As for the cat model, yeah Dee set it up incase someone walks into our AR streams. Like the time Red was babysitting and Dee left the AR stream on."

He doesn't seem to like how he's organized it so he keeps redoing it, but the audience are still have fun listening to his rambling while he decides how he wanted to have the books organized.

-------------------

Masterpost

[panjakes]

Aneiiiiii💛💛

How are you? Hope you're doing well and staying hydrated.

I was wondering if I could request a Mark thing👉🏽👈🏽

So I'm braiding my own hair rn, knotless, and it is hell😭😭 my back, neck and arms are screaming and it's 10pm. I started around 3pm. Girl 😔 SHOUT-OUT to all the people that braid their own hair. Y'all are legendary ❣️

So something where like Mark feels bad and offers to help and also gives like a cute massage afterwards idk. Just something cute to make me feel like this suffering is really worth the beauty 😭😭😅😅

Love you🫶🏽🐝

Mark sat on your bed watching your movements very carefully. You seemed to almost be done but like you always tell mark, “one part can turn into three”.

You sigh throwing your arms down to your side, arms hurting like a bitch. Mark cracks a smile looking over at your glossy lips fold into a pout.

“You okay sweetheart?” Mark asks sitting up from the bed

“No. I’m tired. My arms hurt, my back hurts, I want some chips” you say making him laugh

“Is there anything I can do to help my love?” He asks coming to stand behind you

You look up at him through the mirror

“First off all you can go to the store and get me some snacks” you say

“You want to come with me?” He asks making you frown

“Mark…the middle of my head isn’t done. I’m not going no where” you say making him laugh

“Okay fine, guess I’ll face time you when I get there” he says making you nod

“Yes please, thank you” you say as he walks away

“You forgot to say something else” he says turning back around

“No I didn’t” you say looking over at the packs of hair only hoping that you had enough

“Yes you did” he says stomping his feet

“I didn’t can you please get my snacks” you say separating your hair

“Baby tell me you love me!!” He says leaning on your back

“Ow! Mark get cha ass off me!” You scream

“Say you love me and kiss me” he says puckering his lips

“I love you can you please go get my snacks baby please!” You ask

“I didn’t get my kiss but I’ll go get your stuff” he says making you give him a sarcastic smile

Soon he left and you got to gelling and parting your hair. By the time make came back you were done parting your hair and all you had to do is braid but maybe you were too tired for that.

“I got you a bunch of stuff” mark says

“What did you get yourself?” You asks

“I got me a coffee” he says showing you the cup of ice caffeine

“Did you get me a coffee?” You ask

“Nooooo” he says going wide eye

“Well can I have some of your coffee?” You ask batting your eyelashes

“Well when you look at me like that, You can have whatever you want” he says making the both of you laugh.

You take a sip of his coffee moaning at the sweet but slightly bitter coffee.

“That’s good, I need one of those” you say handing him the cup

“Want me to go back and get you one?” He ask making you shake your head

“No what you can do is come over here and help me with my hair” you say making him nod

It wouldn’t be his first time helping you with your hair. Mark has helped you with washed day, detangling, installing a wig, even braids so he was gonna help you now.

He goes to wash his hands and he comes back grabbing the pre parted pieces of hair. Sitting between his legs you tackle one side of your hair and he tackles the other.

You quickly braided your side as mark took his time to braid so he didn’t mess up and you yelled at him.

“Mark…hurry up!” You say falling asleep

“I don’t wanna mess up!” He says

“Please hurry up my neck hurts and im tired” you say with a whine

“Okay I’ll give you a massage when im done but you know how you get when I mess up on your hair” he says making you nod

“I mean, you right” you say making him chuckle

“It’s okay baby I only have three braids left” he says still slowly braiding

“Is it really only three?” You ask with a frown

“No…it’s six” he says making you groan and himself laugh

Within him and his slow braiding you fell asleep on his leg. About 40 minutes later he was done and actually proud of his work. He quickly grabs his phone taking pictures of the braids he braided and your sleeping figure.

“Baby wake up, I’m done” he says gently shaking you

“Did you put mousse and oil sheen on it?” You mumble

“No, you can do that yourself. Go wrap your hair up and get ready for me to rub on your body” he says making you jerk up from your sleep

“Now that just sounded weird” you say making him chuckle

“I always rub on your body don’t make it an issue” he says making you roll your eyes and laugh

“Your such a weirdo” you say giggling

“I’m your weirdo” he says moving his eyebrows up and down

“Yes, yes your are” you say planting a kiss on his lips before going to mousse and wrap your hair

[masoqueen-official]

DAY 26 - Camera/Negative

INK/PH-TOBER 2024

I was gonna do this differently but I made it kinky instead ofc...

OH BOY.

This one certainly is different compared to most of this year's inktober/paperhatober results, that's for sure.

Was just wrapping up some stuff and doing some math since I went to go get some more stuff from Joann's and whathaveyou but I actually finished this earlier which is nice... (instead of rushing at 3am).

My initial idea was sort of hard to accomplish (negative cam. colors) and I thought... okay. What the hell else can I do with the word "Negative"? I thought of multiple scenarios, trust me, but I even after looking up similar words and things that relate... it didn't really help me at all. Then I got to thinking. "Negative"... people think negatively of themselves sometimes. Maybe I can interpret that into degration? That's negative too I mean- and kaboom. Camera wove it all together.

I'm not personally one for videos of degration of myself but I did maybe sorta kinda get reminded of something simar through a nsfw comic I had stowed away in my secure gallery- (COUGHSWEGGSYCOUGH)

Now here we are. Okay, I'm going to finally put this stuff away and hopefully not explode from my caffeine intake and actually work and play. Thanks and bye bye!

Bonus:

(Edited) Picrew pfp / My children in gorgeous lighting 💙 💚

I tried generating similar AI poses first but it was absolute shit so I decided to draw them out again. Frankly... I like to believe in the past, when I was younger and did them all the time, they made my art better so who knows, there might be more! I did do one or two for others too. :)

🌟

[pyrrhiccomedy]

what do you do when you're ADHD and know lots about your brain and how to Make Things Work For You but nonetheless the executive dysfunction persists! and you let all the important tasks build up because you don't want to do them and literally anything except 'the stuff i know i ought to do' is distracting/preferrable? like i KNOW what i need to do to break out of executive dysfunction but i... don't...? any insight on this? cheers mate

I mean dogg this is just not something you can think your way out of. parts of your brain are smooth where they shouldn't be smooth and other parts have holes in them that shouldn't have holes. you are not cranking out the chemicals you need to compensate for that. all the productivity tips in the world are not gonna change that. you need medication. I take three separate meds for my ADHD and it's changed my life. I still have ADHD, the meds don't make it so that I'm just like someone who doesn't have ADHD. But getting through the executive dysfunction is now like needing to shoulder through a stuck door, instead of, like, needing to break down a brick wall with my bare fists. I'd rather not, but it's doable, in a way that it just wasn't, before.

If for some reason medication is not available to you - and I'd really strongly recommend looking into that deeply before you do anything else, because basically all healthcare now covers these meds and most of them are very cheap - then the honest to god real answer for adults is to get some stimulants on your own. start with caffeine and like...go from there. I self-medicated with all kinds of fun additives before I finally figured out that the reason I felt more productive on amphetamines wasn't just because amphetamines are a great time.

if you are not of an age or background where you feel comfortable acquiring substances of questionable legality, uh. I don't know dude, take up knife juggling or something? adrenaline will get you there too.

my point is that if you already know everything there is to know, you know all the hacks and tricks and tips, and that's not cutting it, then you need to alter your brain chemistry. there's the easy, safe, cheap, medically advisable way of doing it, and then there's all the other ways of doing it. I'm not your mom or your pastor, so like, do what you've gotta do.

[shrimplymoray]

Hello!!! if its alright, could you perhaps do a sheriff(madcom)) x reader where reader is a flower girl and loves raising plants? THNANK YOU!!!!! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

HIII thanks for the request, the Sheriff deserves more love, pathetic little meow meow of a guy ehehe! Also side note: i've been trying to start and failing because i have no idea if my idea makes sense, but i just said fuck it rn and am gonna pull what i think may work, if it is not very M:PN compliant, i'm sorry ;-;

The Sheriff x Flower Girl! Reader - Green Thumb

After long nights and days of work, The sheriff liked to take a drink by himself, and walk around the industrial district. Not to brag, but he has so far done a pretty decent job at keeping the scum outside and the ones that needed to be in, well, in. He liked to see himself as doing the dirty work so his old pal can deal with whatever the hell has been happening at the center of the Nexus City, and at the science tower. After one of these long days and nights, he grabbed a good old beer and walked around, appreciating the little bit of peace he managed to get after so long suffering being hunted for sport by those damned man. This walk, however, was cut shorter than expected, as something catched the old cowboy's attention. Something that for all reasons, shouldn't be existing. A little over run and beat up small building, tucked to a corner. nothing would drive one's attention for it, if it weren't for the small glimpses of a... Garden? Well, damn, that's as rare as it can get in Nevada. Although part of him screamed that this is the most suspicious thing that he could find, the way it seemed tended to drove him in. Slowly and cautiously (to not say cowardly) he walked near the little tucked in garden, which led to him going inside the building that for all means looked abandoned, specially compared to the other factories of the area. It was... a beautiful view, really. A flora long thought dead was clinging to every wall, and it took him a long second to hear the whistling, to which he put a hand on his holster, just in case. "Who's there?" It felt almost as if he was asking himself and not the person, to which a... lady, came and looked at him. "Ah! Sheriff, nice to see ya! Don't get visits often, specially in here, heh." "Er, Yeah sure doll. What's... all this about?" The lady looked around with a second of confusion before letting out a chuckle. "Oh this is my little Greenhouse. I know, the building is beat up but... the lights still work here, and it has just the right power to grow some pretty good stuff." "A Greenhouse, huh? Call me stoked, haven't seen one of these in ages..." In his moment of distraction, the woman got near him and took his hand on hers, both calloused but for greatly different reasons, it seems. "Want a Tour? I've been growing stuff in here since i got in the district, and i don't get much guests. That is, if you allow me, sir. You are the boss here, aren't ya?" Her voice was laced with teasing tone. It felt as if they've known each other for ages, good old friends just meeting again. The feeling of her hand on his, and the sheer happiness she showed over the place, it made something beat inside his chest, and his cheeks grow red, but by everything sacred, he was gonna blame the beer. "Welp, yer lucky i'm free right now, dollface. But i can only accept the tour if ya gimme the pleasure of taking ya for a drink later~?" Sadly for him, he didn't sound as smooth as he wanted, but that worked his way in the end. Luck has been getting on the ol' Sheriff's way, it seems.

I genuinely have NO IDEA how to write the Sheriff and also i am out of my head cuz of caffeine crash and my night meds, but i still hope this is somewhat enjoyable!

[elprupneerg]

Pass the happy! ✨ When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications

5 things that make me happy! had to think a bit to narrow things down, i've been in a pretty decent headspace lately and finding joy in the small things

yesterday (and today, but i only went yesterday) my city had an event where a whole bunch of historical buildings, municipal offices, art galleries, music halls, and museums had open admission for the public to come in and look around. i got to see the place where the county buses get repaired and walk around the riverwalk here while trying to find the local electric company's headquarters. i definitely felt all the walking in my knees today when i woke up, but i think it was worth it

the kids who live next to my place have decided that my gf and i are safe to pull pranks on. we get ding dong ditched about once a month. if we don't come to the door right away they'll try and ring the bell again, and this time stay on our porch and wait to see if we'll actually answer, and brag about how sneaky they were last time.

crocheting! i've been working on probably my hardest project yet for months now. its got cables, its got shaping to make it fit around the arms, its made out of a nice purple wool that's a little bit tricky to see where to put my hook, and when it's done it's gonna look Awesome

i've been playing minecraft in a server with some friends the past few months. i'm not very good, but i like looking at all the things everyone else is building and putting a bunch of random supplies in chests that they can take from if they want. there's a mod on the server that adds a whole bunch of food recipes, so i've been having fun making virtual chicken soup and berry pies and stuff

a good cup of coffee. i'm very firmly addicted to caffeine at this point, and i don't really feel like fixing that. black coffee is a bit too acidic and bitter for my tastes, but it pairs well with other flavors. i like getting weird flavored lattes when i go out, and at home i like adding cinnamon and sugar and cream, or getting coffee grounds that have weird flavors. (i mean weird in the most positive way possible with both of those).

[phosphorescentspaceman]

yoglabs fluff - technically medical fraud

(for reasons im gonna tag everything as fluff or angst for the next few weeks if it applies. block it if you need to, it'll be here when you come back.

Xephos started to see another person in the breakroom. Exactly four people had the clearance to be in here and one was Honeydew who avoided Yogslabs like the plague when he wasn’t actively with Xephos (some scientists had confused his willingness to help with Xephos’ research as his availability as a test subject. They had been disabused of this notion, but Honeydew didn’t really love being shoved into antigravity chambers without warning - apparently dwarves had a very particular proprioceptive ability and it Did Not Agree with anti gravity). One was a legacy clearance, and the other was Xephos himself who avoided breaks like a plague. He was desperate for a cuppa after spending 50 unsuccessful minutes trying to micro-inject dna into a specific cell with shaky hands. He had enough of trying to work through the caffeine withdrawal. 

Still, Lalna obviously had clearance, but he normally just went home rather than hang out on site. Yoglabs wasn’t built to be comforting. He was hunched over a set of papers, frowning at them like they’d offended him. Xephos started the kettle before bothering to ask.

“Friend? What are you looking at?”

Lalna jumped, startled, before breaking into a warm smile. “Xeph!” he glared down at the papers. “I’m just taking a renewal exam for my medical licence and it's a pain in the arse.”

“I feel like I should fire you for being qualified! That's not the Yoglabs guarantee, is it?” Lalna laughed brightly.

“It's not difficult - but some of it is really stupid.” Lalna turned the paper towards Xephos, allowing him to see the questions he was looking at. It wasn’t overly complicated, but - 

“Name a recent medical innovation? We are medical innovations!” 

Lalna pointed at it vigorously. “I know!” he paused, before snickering childishly. Xephos was distracted from his staring by the kettle clicking off. 

“You know?” 

“I'm gonna talk about that clone based antibody treatment we cooked up, and then I’m going to cite myself as a reference. Ha!” He looked so pleased with himself, Xephos was sure his face was doing something stupid. He slid a cup in front of Lalna, resting weak, diluted milk monstrosity the other drank in front of him, before settling down with a nice strong cup with plenty of lemon. Lalna looked at him, curiously. “Don’t you have that cell lineage tracing thing you’re doing with the clonal stem cells?” 

“It’s probably best that I don't work on that right now.” Lalna nodded, with the expression of someone who knew what it was like to hate an experiment with an unhealthy passion. “I could finish the easy stuff for your questions? Just give me some you’ve filled out so I can copy your terrible handwriting.” Lalna laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah, doctors and their handwriting, it's a tired joke Xeph, get some new material.” Still he slid over some of the sheets and a spare pen.

“This is insultingly easy. I don’t have a medical degree. It should not be this easy.” 

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

[roseandur]

Daily Banter

"Whatever. Now, get your ass out of bed."

He knew Raymond wouldn't budge, he loved sleeping in the mornings when it was his day off from work.

Raymond groaned in protest, pulling the covers up higher over his head.

"Five more minutes, asshole. I'm warm and comfortable right here. I don't want to get up."

Tommy sighed, his hands resting on his hips as he looked down at Raymond buried under the covers. He knew this was going to take some convincing.

"Come on. You can't spend the whole day in bed. You need to get some sunshine, maybe get some actual food in your body instead of just caffeine and nicotine."

Raymond grumbled, his voice muffled by the covers.

"I don't need sunshine or real food. Caffeine and nicotine are all I need to survive. And I'm not getting out of bed unless you give me a damn good reason to."

Tommy rolled his eyes again, trying another tactic.

"How about a deal then? If you get your grumpy ass out of bed right now, I'll make you a coffee. A big, strong one, just the way you like it."

He knew that Raymond's love for coffee would at least nudge him in the direction of getting up.

Raymond's ears perked up at the mention of coffee, his favorite drug. The covers slowly lowered, revealing his messy hair and grumpy expression.

"You'll make me coffee, you say? A strong, perfect cup of coffee? No decaf, no weak watered-down stuff?"

Tommy raised an eyebrow,seeing the covers drop and knowing he had successfully lured Raymond.

"That's right. A strong, perfect cup of coffee. No decaf, no weak stuff, the way you like it. But you're gonna have to get your ass out of bed first."

Raymond grumbled some more, knowing he was beaten. The lure of coffee was just too strong to resist.

"Fine, FINE. I'm getting up, I'm getting up. But you better make that coffee damn good, asshole."

He threw off the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting with a grumpy groan.

Tommy couldn't help but slightly smile seeing Raymond's grumpy demeanor. He loved the man, but he could be quite the grumpy old man in the mornings. He gave him a playful nudge with his foot.

"Don't worry, I'll make the coffee damn good. And maybe, just maybe, I'll throw in an extra ingredient to sweeten your mood."

Raymond grumbled again, his eyes narrowing at the playful nudge. But the mention of an extra ingredient piqued his curiosity.

"Extra ingredient, huh? What the hell are you putting in my coffee this time. Cinnamon? Alcohol?"

"Hey, it's a surprise. But let's just say it's something that will give your coffee a little extra kick."

He walked over to the door, looking back at Raymond with a mischievous grin.

"Now get your ass up and meet me in the kitchen. Your coffee awaits."

"Fine, fine. I'll get up. I need to wash up first."

Raymond said, annoyed.

Tommy nodded.

"Alright, you do that. I'll start prepping the coffee. Make it quick. I don't want you dozing off while you're in the shower."

Raymond shot a glare at Tommy before disappearing into the bathroom. He showered quickly, his mind already focused on the promised coffee. And the mysterious extra ingredient. He wondered what Tommy had up his sleeve this time. Once he finished showering, he emerged from the bathroom dressed in a turtleneck and trousers his hair still slightly damp.

By the time Raymond emerged from the bathroom, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. Tommy stood in the kitchen, a mug filled with dark, steaming liquid already sitting on the counter. He looked up as Raymond entered the room.

"Ah, there you are. I was starting to worry you had fallen back asleep in the shower."

Raymond's eyes darted to the mug on the counter, his caffeine withdrawal already making the sight tempting. He approached the counter, taking in the scent of the coffee before narrowing his eyes at Tommy.

"Alright, smartass, spill it. What's the extra ingredient? I can tell there's something different about this coffee."

"Now, why would I tell you that? It's a surprise, remember? You'll just have to taste it and find out for yourself."

He pushed the mug towards Raymond, a gleam in his eye.

"Go on, take a sip. Tell me what you think."

Raymond looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Is it your cum?"

He said with a deadpan look.

Tommy blinked a few times and his lips parted for a few moments before he raised his eyebrow at Raymond.

Raymond couldn't help but laugh at Tommy's reaction.

"Relax, I was just messing with you, smartass. I know you wouldn't do something like that.

Tommy shot him a glare, trying to regain his composure.

"You bastard, you did that on purpose. You knew exactly how I would react, didn't you?"

He shook his head and huffed.

"Just take a sip. And try to guess what the secret ingredient is."

Raymond picked the mug up and brought it to his lips and took a small sip, being careful since it was still hot. He savoured the taste for a minute before he frowned and pulled on a disgusted expression, his nose scrunching up.

"Jesus, Thomas. What the fuck is this?"

Tommy pulled on an innocent look. "Guess."

Raymond took another sip, mulling it over. Then it suddenly clicked.

"Wait... No. You don't mean...?"

He looked at Tommy, skepticism in his eyes.

Tommy smiled mischievously. "Yes."

Raymond's eyes widened slightly as he realized what the mystery ingredient was.

"No. You didn't. You didn't put... you put goddamn lemon in my coffee, didn't you!?"

Tommy fully smiled, laughing through his nose, finding Raymond's reaction amusing.

"Tommy, you piece of shit, I'm going to kill you!"

"But the secret ingredient worked, you woke up, didn't you, eh?"

Raymond glared at him and put the mug down on the counter.

"You're making me a new one."

"No."

"What the fuck do you mean 'no'!?"

Tommy raised his eyebrow.

"I said what I said. No means no. Drink the one I made you."

Raymond frowned. Oh he was going to kill him.

"I'm not drinking this crap."

"Yes, you are, sweetheart."

"No, the fuck I am not."

Tommy put on a mock serious expression. "You shouldn't be wasting food, Raymond."

"That's it!" Raymond grabbed the mug and pinned Tommy against the counter and he made him drink a huge sip of the warm liquid.

Tommy lightly coughed. "Oh fuck, that's disgusting."

"Yeah, don't like it now, do you?" Raymond said, annoyance present in his voice. "Now, make me a fucking new one or I swear to God you won't see the light of day again." Raymond threatened.

Tommy rolled his eyes and huffed. "Fine."

[crmsnmth]

Update (Nobody gives a shit about bigfoot.)

So, if you've been here a while you've probably noticed my output has dropped drastically lately, with a few times absolutely no word from at all. I swear I have a good reason for that. Well, three. Shut up. This is my world and If i want bad math, I'm gonna have bad math. I think I've earned the right. One, I'm exhausted right now. I just worked 33 straight days in a row (I'm stupid and took a second job, but it's cool not to worry about having enough to get some cigarettes and caffeine everyday). It isn't because I stopped writing. Believe me, the notes app on my phone is overflowing, and there's a notebook sitting here with little fragments of sentences and lines. Two, I've been putting a lot of my free energy into music and working on finishing up another album (The Safety Is Off). That's taken a lot of time. But for once, I kind of dig what I'm creating. The last album (Soundtrack To Your Overdose) was made in such a stressed out period that it comes through in the music. This one is at a much more content and peaceful place and I'm really happy with what I'm producing at night. And reason number three. I'm working on my book. Again. Another edit, more fixes and words and blah blah blah. We all know how it really goes. I'm going to end up over editing and it'll never get it's one chance to see a publisher's hands. Whatever. I'm still finding things I need to fix. On top of the things that I'm fixing, I've been also taking the most unhinged lines (and there are definitely some weird lines I think I may well be the first person to ever write.) What do I plan with these unhinged lines? Well, I'm gonna post the collection here, as kind of an advertisement towards the book and the work I've put into it. There's a pretty big collection, and seeing them out of context had me laughing so hard, I cry. And I don't mean cry like I normally do when I read these words I've laid out, but in they are fucking funniest things I've ever come up, and I am terrified I'll never ever beat them.

So that's what's been going on. Nothing major, but just enough things to make it impossible to keep up with my usual output. One of those days, there's just going to end up being a massive drop of some of the crappiest, shittiest stuff you'll ever lay eyes on. I'm pretty sure I can promise that.

That's me. How's life? What have you been up to? Still slaving away? Exhausted? Pull a Courtney Love and shotgun a Rockstar.

Bye. Love you. Peace, Love, and Bubblegum. crmsnmth 9/21/2024

[stargazeraldroth]

Okay so this MIGHT be weird but I had an idea for a very different version of Underverse that I wanted to share with someone??? I’m never gonna do anything with it (if you end up liking anything from this, as a prompt or idea or story or anything like that, feel free to take it!), but it’s one of those things I gotta get out, you know??? Hope this isn’t a bother!!!

Anyways, basic idea involves borderline platonic yandere Blue and Dream for Ink (because I’m a sucker for it, blame the prompt on AO3 that mentioned the idea), so for his “own good,” they’re the ones who ended up working with XGaster (I’m not sure how they’d meet him- maybe they went to help him that first time instead of Ink, because he was busy or something?) to cause the X-Event. I imagine that their whole reasoning would be them hoping XGaster being a creator in his own right would give them a way to get Ink out from under the thumb of the ones Ink normally has to deal with- Maybe they think there’s a chance the Overwrite button can do something? Or hell, maybe the reason is as simple as wanting to give Ink a soul and believing XGaster has the means to help them. I’m not actually sure!

Just. I don’t know? The idea of Underverse turning into one giant festival of suffering for Ink, as he gets hit with one betrayal after another from people he thought he could trust (Cross, Dream, and Blue). Then Error destroys the Multiverse, and everything just… Keeps falling apart from there.

Again, hope this isn’t weird or a bother- But I’d be interested in hearing what you think of an idea like this, or seeing where you’d take it, or anything like that. Either way, take care, and thank you for reading!!!

Anon, the only thing that's a bother right now is the fact my parents never told me they made another pot of coffee, so there's about half a pot going to waste. With that being said, I'm sorry if this is poorly written because I'm like. Running solely off caffeine from like 4-5 cups of coffee and stress from schoolwork. I was gonna wait to answer this until tomorrow morning, but then I remembered that I'm done work for the day and I have nothing else to do until I randomly go to sleep at like midnight, so.

I feel like I've said this a hundred times before, but even if I have, I'll say it again: I have a thing for platonic yanderes. I don't know what it is about them, but for some reason, I just love them. That goes for yandere characters in general, but that's not the point.

I'm gonna take this one at a time, hopefully it'll help me keep myself organized and I can actually form a coherent idea for once.

I find the idea of Dream and Blue meeting X-Gaster in Ink's place very interesting!! I'm a bit of a stickler for the idea that Ink would never endanger the AUs for whatever reason, no idea if that's canon or all, so this actually works in my favor. I haven't watched Underverse's early episodes in forever (don't think I ever even watched the X-Tale series, oop-), so my memory of why Ink made the deal with X might be a bit muddled.

Anyway, I think it's very believable that those two would want to take some of the workload off Ink's shoulders. They're supposed to be a team, let them help! Ink's a bit reluctant, not just anyone can do these kinds of jobs, but they're so eager to help... oh, alright, fine, you can take the job- but if anything happens, they need to inform him right away! They're absolutely going to do that, no doubt about it, 100%. (They have no intention on doing that)

Anyway, I think their intentions would start out genuine. They really just want to help Ink! They see how overworked he is and he's just one person, it's not right to make him shoulder all this responsibility. The two are wary of Creators due to some unfavorable members (if they found out 1/4 of the stuff I do to Ink for the sake of an AU, they'd have a bounty on my head), so they're not about to let Ink go and meet with one face-to-face. (Again, I have not been refreshed on Underverse lore, so if there's inconsistency I'm. So sorry) He seems to have good intentions, but they're still wary of him.

Actually, here's a potentially interesting idea: Dream and Blue don't start developing into yanderes until after meeting X. Something I usually go with is X-Gaster having his own kind of fixation on Ink, though not necessarily in a romantic or even platonic sense. He admires Ink's power and role, and the two pick up on that- especially Dream. And neither of them like it.

With that being said, I think it's inevitable that Ink would meet X himself at some point. Dream and Blue keep pushing it off, telling him they can handle it, but at some point he puts his foot down and goes to meet X. I think it'd be too complicated to have him not meet him, or maybe this will come back to bite me in the ass, I don't know!

But I'm glad you mentioned that they could be the ones who cause the X-Event, Anon. Using my stickler thing from before, Dream and Blue wouldn't have the same innate sense to weigh the pros and cons for the other AUs, or the AU itself. Sure, they have their moral compasses, but power corrupts people. Power leads to greed, as does greed lead to a hunger for power. And X can be very persuasive when he wants to be, I'm sure. I don't doubt that he would use their fondness for Ink to his advantage (hope I wrote that right), telling them that he can do so many things in return for their help: he can experiment and create Ink a soul of his own, and then he won't need those pesky Creators anymore.

(Or, maybe even better, X-Gaster dangles the possibility of "freeing" Ink from his duties as the Protector. He hints at the possibility of using the OVERWRITE to change Ink's Code, removing his connection to the Creators. All such tempting ideas... they only want what's best for their friend, don't they? Would they really pass up such an opportunity? So many possibilities to play with!)

I think this whole idea can lead to an interesting but painful story of Dream and Blue's obsessive behavior worsening, escalating to the point of becoming full-fledged yanderes. They can't let Ink know the truth about what happened with X-Tale! If he found out they've been keeping things from him... that they had a hand in what happened and what's now happening... oh... oh, he would hate them, wouldn't he? He'd want to stop being their friend! He- he'd leave the Star Sanses and he wouldn't work with them anymore! They can't have that! They can't live with that! They... they won't let him leave them like this!

This could lead to SO MUCH ANGST MATERIAL. Like- imagine the kind of stuff that would go down between Dream and Nightmare! Nightmare can sense so much guilt and shame from Dream, which is so... intriguing! And Cross would probably know about his involvement, considering X-Chara, and Nightmare would eat. That. UP! Dream, Mr. Hugs-&-Smiles himself, being linked to an entire world's devastation? Well, it wouldn't be the first time... (Apple Incident references go BRRRRR-)

From Ink's perspective, the story's probably escalating into a horror story tbh. Like you said Anon, he's getting one hit after the other: an AU was destroyed during the Truce, one betrayal after another, finding out about X-Gaster's madness, Dream and Blue going from liars/backstabbers (or whatever term you wanna use for them) to obsessed yanderes that would do anything to keep him to themselves, Error destroying the AUs... I haven't even talked about Error yet!

For once, I feel there isn't much to say about Error. I was going to say something about him being a yandere, too, but I felt like it took away from Dream and Blue being platonic yanderes. He would either be relishing in Ink's downfall or he'd be like "Damn, that sucks".

Ah, and now I raise another proposal: X-Gaster betrays Dream and Blue. This might be a given, but hear me out! X sticks to his proposal of using the OVERWRITE on Ink, but instead of cutting his connection to the Creators or giving him a soul (or whatever else he filled their heads with), he turns Ink into a relatively mindless weapon at his disposal. This would basically be the equivalent of Ink being blank in Underverse, but he's extra ruthless because X is the one in control.

I'll just let y'all soak with that idea at the end.

(Quick addition: Imagine a kidnapping scene. Let that cook.)

Looking at the post, I think I got everything I wanted to. Again, sorry if this is poorly written or not very cohesive. It's very late for me and I'm very tired, but I know I'm not going to sleep for another hour or so lol. I might revisit this idea tomorrow or something, see if I have any new ideas, but I think this is it for now.

Thank you, Anon, for your ask!! This was fun!!