#now i kinda want a tootsie pop

[just-peach]

Also i cut my hair its really soft now

(P.s. Did i take this photo to show off my tits or hair? The world may never know🤗)

[lisired]

who needs cupid’s bow?

pairing: bff!haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: bff2l, suggestive, lots of sexual innuedos but no smut, fluff, a teaspoon of angst, mc & hc are oblivious to each other’s feelings and jaemin calls them out on their bullshit, mutual pining

summary: Cupid is not on your side, it seems. He’s made you fall in love with the worst possible person ever, AKA your best friend, AKA the man who still eats tootsie-pops—willingly. And frankly, it feels like the damn candy has a better chance of dating him than you ever will.

word count: 11.1k

a/n: inspired by down for you by kehlani, boyfriend by ariana grande, and serial lover by kehlani. another oldie but i kinda like it… kinda. as always, feedback is appreciated!

It’s safe to say that Cupid is your mortal enemy (Or immortal—whatever. Nonetheless, you aren’t the biggest fan of him.)

You don’t know why, but for some inexplicable reason, he always makes you fall in love with the wrong people. Such as Lee Taeyong from eighth grade, or your failed relationship with Kim Jisoo from your biology class in high school — a pretty girl, but you were as compatible as Mentos and Coca-Cola. Hell, there was even Jung Sungchan from senior year, who you naturally drifted away from during an exam period. They’re all chapters in your book now, but you’re currently stuck on the one about your best friend, Lee Haechan.

It seems like you’re Cupid’s mortal enemy, too. You and Haechan are always side by side, down one another’s throats, there’s no way his arrow could have hit you and missed Haechan.

Perhaps, it’s a hole you dug yourself in. Via mutual friends, when you were seventeen, you met Lee Haechan — jock, senior, and the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen. There was an instant connection between you two, all it took was a convo at a party about coincidentally both failing the same math exam, and you quickly became friends and close enough to pour out your heart into little rants whenever there was something personal bothering either of you, and you needed an outlet. You liked him because he understood you. He was patient witth you. You see, you aren’t the best at communicating how you feel, and he never makes you feel bad about it.

You remember breaking up with your then-boyfriend, Jung Sungchan, and while you weren’t heartbroken since you saw it coming and all the love had evaporated by then, you were devastated that you no longer had someone to kiss. That being your main concern made Haechan laugh. He thought it was the most you thing ever.

“Can I kiss you, then?” you asked, a little grin on your face, although you were very serious. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, kissing your best friend. He has pretty lips, and it isn’t like it’ll mean anything, you think. It’s just one kiss.

Haechan scoffed, biting off the last remaining piece of his Tootsie Pop off the stick. You’re kidding, he thinks. Why would you seriously want to kiss him? And after breaking up with your now ex-boyfriend? The wound’s still fresh. “You wouldn’t dare.”

To Haechan’s surprise, you dared.

He tasted like chocolate, exactly like a Tootsie Pop, as expected of him. You didn’t mind, though. You never do. It was fun, you liked the way Haechan held you in his lap and kissed you back with fierceness, and he still kisses you with that same passion, like there’s no tomorrow.

And that’s the problem.

Fast-forward four years later, you’re still best friends with Lee Haechan, only this time you’re in college, and have the fattest, most gigantic crush on him. Somewhere along the way, those lines between love and friendship were blurred. It’s impossible to pinpoint when, but you fell deep and hard for your best friend.

And the worst part? You doubt he’ll ever reciprocate those feelings.

One kiss turned into more than you can count on your fingers and toes.

Should you continue making out with your best friend who doesn’t reciprocate your romantic interest in him? Probably not.

Are you still going to, though? Absolutely.

“Y/n, I’m going to kill you,” Haechan states as he stumps inside the dining room. His hair is tussled since he’s just waken up from a nap, but you like this raw side of him. He looks gorgeous, and despite him basically threatening to murder you you still want to kiss him.

“Romantic,” you deadpan, training your eyes back on your laptop. It takes everything in you not to stare, but if you want to keep your feelings low-key, you need to follow a couple of rules.

“I know you took my Tootsie Pop. Where is it?”

You smirk a little, but it quickly fades into a line. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Okay, so maybe that’s a lie, and you both know it. You aren’t the only other person in the house, but Jungwoo, Haechan’s stepbrother, is asleep and wouldn’t cut his nap time short to do something as stupid as stealing the last of his brother’s favorite candy. That leaves you. As his best friend, you’re the first person to know Haechan turns murderous over those stupid lollipops, and that he’s the last person to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop. In your personal opinion, they’re not even that good. But he’s loved them ever since you’ve known him.

“We’re best friends, y/n. I know when you’re lying,” he remarks, and doesn’t give you the chance to answer before he persists, “where is it?”

There’s only one way out of this.

Run.

Haechan follows almost automatically, and in spite of being barely awake he obviously has the upper hand because he’s always leaned more towards the sport-y side. This doesn’t deter you though, because you have a getaway plan.

In your attempt to somehow outrun a man that used to do track and field, you make a beeline for the backyard door. He’s not going to outrun you in the grass in slippers, you think as you turn to see if he’s caught up on you. You’re in the lead, albeit barely, with your body almost being in arms reach. You try to pick up your speed, and once you reach the door you hurry to turn the knob. Except, there’s one, itty-bitty problem.

The door is fucking locked.

And you already know you won’t have time to open it, so you cave in to defeat, whirling around with your hands up in a surrendering pose. Your plan’s backfired; you’ve been caught.

“Oh, I’ve got you now,” Haechan says cockily. He has you—hook, line, and sinker, and at this point you aren’t even upset. You can’t be upset. His eyes are on you, and his body is close to yours, dangerously so.

“Okay, you win. Happy?” You mumur.

“Not until I get my Tootsie Pop back,” he shakes his head, “now where is it?”

Smiling, you shrug. Of course, you know where the candy is, but he’s either going to have to win or pry the answer out of you.

Then, he steps even closer, and your heart starts pounding in your chest twenty times faster than your feet were against the hardwood. This isn’t your first rodeo, you’ve made out with your best friend countless times, yet the anticipation gives you a rush, like you’ve never done this before. It makes you feel like a teenager in love all over again — seventeen, young and head over heels in love with the man closest to you.

He’s back you into the door, and you can’t keep your eyes off his lips. Beautiful, plush, soft, and your eyes flutter shut as you prepare to feel the same skilled pair against your own, closer, and closer, and closer—

Crunch.

“I fucking knew it!” Haechan yells, jolting your eyes open. You aren’t even given the opportunity to register the situation before his hands are digging into your back pocket, retrieving his fortunately unharmed Tootsie Pop.

It feels like he’s gone before you can even blink, and realizing he’s slipped back into the hall, you begin to follow him into his room. “Hey!” you yell, and he doesn’t say anything, just looking up at you from his gaming chair with that damn candy hanging from his mouth, “why didn’t you kiss me?”

“Why’d you steal my Tootsie Pop?”

Okay, that was stupid, yes, but there was a particular goal in mind which was reached, even if for a short-lived moment.

You frown, “I wanted your attention.”

Haechan shakes his head, laughing. “C’mere.”

Somehow, those words never fail, making you melt and slip into his lap effortlessly every time. You’re like Jell-O to his voice, to his touch, to his whole. You’re a goner, some would say, and a part of you is alright with never coming back if it means you get to feel all the weird, Cupid-y emotions he makes you feel.

At this point, you don’t think you’ll ever stop kissing Haechan. In the time that you’ve been together, you’ve both been in relationships, hence putting the make out sessions on hiatus. They were never really long though, because you’d break up with them and inevitably find your way back to one another in the end.

His fingers guide your chin up, and once more your eyes flutter shut as his lips unite with yours. Haechan kisses in a manner that contrasts with the soft feeling of his lips. He always starts off gentle, but there’s a hunger that overcomes him as he stands up and pushes you against his desk, rough yet graceful and holding you so firmly, like you’re glass, but he wants to break you. And when he shatters you into all those tiny pieces, you don’t care. You want him to glue you back together and do it all over again. He’s intoxicating, he’s an addictive drug, but he tastes like candy, and you can’t stop coming back to him. He feels like home, the place where you belong. The place where you can be one-hundred percent, authentically you, safe and whole, more than the general perception than you. And fuck, does he kiss like the damn devil himself.

You were silly for ever believing it would only be one kiss.

Jungwoo thinks that for people who are trying to keep their not-so relationship-y relationship under wraps, you two are very loud.

Speaking of which, and despite the nature of your relationship, you and Haechan haven’t even discussed your label. You know that you aren’t friends with benefits—you haven’t crossed that line, but to be honest, those lines have been starting to look blurry for a while—but you also aren’t in a relationship. You see other people, you fuck other people, and when other people ask if you’re dating, you both deny it immediately. You’re just best friends, you both say each time like some rehearsed line, even if it breaks your heart to hear him friendzone you.

Karina and Mark even have an ongoing bet about you two. Karina is one-hundred positive there’s something going on, whereas Mark is probably the only person in the world that wants to give you guys the benefit of the doubt.

“For heaven’s sake, I can’t get any type of sleep around here,” Jungwoo rasps, leaning against the doorframe, “I really hope you guys don’t do this shit when Dohwan’s here.”

His judgmental eyes practically bore into your soul, and you thank heaven that you don’t have to worry about keeping this secret from Jungwoo, even if he would probably appreciate it more if you did. He finds you in a rather interesting position, straddling Haechan’s lap as you press kisses into his collarbone.

It’s all Haechan’s fault, really. Three years ago, Jungwoo made the mistake of walking inside Haechan’s bedroom without knocking, accidentally finding you two making out in a very touchy way on his bed because a certain someone didn’t think to lock the door. Not only did you ruin his quote-unquote innocence, but his perception of you forever, and ever since that ordeal, Jungwoo has never opened his stepbrother’s door without knocking. This time, it just so happened to be wide-open.

You bite your lip, feeling bad. Kim Dohwan is Haechan’s halfbrother of whom he babysits whenever available (and you like to tag on, because dealing with children is stressful and Haechan’s already stressed enough), and on weekdays Jungwoo has to wake up from his nap earlier to pick up the kid from school and bring him back home, then leave for work. You were too loud and disrupted the poor guy’s nap time.

“Oh,” Haechan says the syllable blankly, not too sympathetic, “did we wake you?”

“Of course not, I usually wake up at 2pm and take extra longs showers to start my day,” Jungwoo deadpans, “but whatever. I’m heading out. Don’t forget to go grocery shopping today.”

“Noted,” you and Haechan say simultaneously, gazing at one another and stifling giggles when you catch each other’s gaze. Jungwoo smiles at you, then flicks off his brother before parting.

When you’re both all alone again, a few seconds pass before Haechan’s eyes do that thing where they twinkle every time something catches his interest (or perhaps that’s the in love side of your brain making you see things.)

“Hey, you coming to Chenle’s Valentines Day party Monday?” You don’t know why he’s even asking, you follow Haechan everywhere he goes like a lost puppy. Maybe he’s discreetly asking you out. “Unless you’re actually busy, by the way, I hope you know you’re going. And maybe you’ll find some single pringle interested in a relationship. You can’t just kiss me forever, you know.” Oh. Well that eliminates that thought.

A part of you is yelling at you to decline, to lie and say that you actually have a dick or pussy appointment scheduled for the 14th, yet another is weak, in spite of you being aware of how this works. First of all, Valentine’s Day parties are mainly for single people who don’t have anything better to do, and each time one of you go to one, you end up meeting some stranger and hooking up with them. You know that’s more than likely what he’s going to do, and you aren’t strong enough to watch him flirt with other people.

You know how to put up a good front, though, so you’ll fake it until you make it.

“We can do a lot more than kiss,” you suggest with a wink.

Haechan grimaces, “No thanks. Now get off my lap.”

You frown, but climb off his lap nonetheless. “Wow,” you drag dramatically, “You’ll make out with me for what feels like hours, but sticking your dick in me is where you draw the line?”

“Precisely.”

You gasp in faux offense. “Oh, come on. Sex doesn’t seem so bad. Like, think of it as my pussy giving your dick a nice warm hug.”

Haechan’s at a lost for words, his face bright red. How do you even come up with this stuff? “Oh my god, are you coming or not?”

You joke, “I thought you said sticking your dick in me was where you draw the line?”

He shoots you a glare so sharp you’re sure that if you were still on his lap, he’d be barely resisting the urge to shove you off. You don’t miss the way his cheeks heat up, though.

Haechan groans exasperatedly, leaning back his gaming chair, “Y/n, seriously!”

“Fine!” resisting your best friend is literally impossible, you conclude, because you have officially caved in to his request—or, more or less, demand, rather, “fine, fine! I’ll go!”

“Great,” he grins with satisfaction, beaming with his thirty-two teeth, and you even see little gleams of smiles in his eyes, “anyway, Dohwan’s gonna be here soon, so let’s get ready to go shopping.”

You furrow your brows. You have a solid twenty minutes left, and all you really need to do is slip on your shoes.

“I need more Tootsie Pops,” Haechan adds, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.

And you roll your eyes. “We’ll get you some more Tootsie Pops, but you better not ditch us for the candy aisle!”

“Of course, not,” he smiles, not even trying to sound or appear convincing. “I’d never leave you guys.”

That’s exactly what he does.

You aren’t even remotely surprised, though heavily disappointed when he announces in the middle of the thankfully empty cereal aisle that he’s going to find Tootsie Pops, managing to run off before you can even protest.

Gripping the shopping cart, you avert your gaze from the Cinnamon Toast Cruch boxes to his figure, almost missing him jog onto the following aisle. You shake your head, a small smile tugging your lips. If it were the end of the world, Haechan would stock up on those candies before he would even think to consider water.

“Auntie Y/N,” you aren’t quite adjusted to being addressed as an aunt, but you aren’t against it either. You have the image all put together—rich, thriving, and the kids adore you, “do you love my brother?”

That was perhaps the very last question you expected the six-year-old boy to ask you. Your eyes are a little wide, but it’s a kid, you remind yourself, so you shouldn’t be worried. But shit, then again, if a first-grader can figure it out, you’re fresh out of luck.

“Why do you think that?” You crouch down to be eye-level with him, having a feeling there’s some misunderstanding here. Dohwan’s bright for his age and doesn’t let anyone forget it, but you’ll be damned if he’s sniffed you out.

He makes a face. “I saw you kiss him, just like mommy and daddy do. And my mommy and daddy love each other very—” he stretches the vowel, and you can’t but giggle, “—much! That’s why they made me!” then he gasps, and you fear what it means, praying he doesn’t ask what you think he will. “Will you and my brother have a baby, too? I wan’ a new friend!”

On second thought, you think you’d rather he would’ve asked you what you thought he was. You nearly have a heart attack in the middle of the aisle, yet still, Dohwan gazes up at you with his innocent, sparkly eyes. You assume it’s in the blood; Jungwoo doesn’t have them, and he isn’t blood-related to Haechan, but Dohwan partially is, and the twinkle is promiment.

Calmly, you reply, “Don’t you already have a lot friends?”

He does, you both know it. You vaguely remember pulling up to his sixth birthday bash and being in shock of all the little kids jumping and flipping on the Spider-Man bouncy house. You haven’t been surrounded by that many children since, hell, probably since kindergarten.

“Yeah, but I wanna be a big brother,” he folds his tiny arms and pouts, “It’s not fair Hyuck and Woo get to be big, but I don’t!”

With minimum success, you manage to stifle your laugh, stretching out your arms to bring the little boy in for a hug, “You’ll be big one day. Trust me, you don’t wanna rush it.”

“And strong like Superman?”

“And strong like Superman,” you reassure, all smiley and convincing. “Now let’s go check up on your big brother, he’s taking too long.”

Dohwan rocks from side to side as he walks, murmuring some Nickelodeon TV show theme song, and you push the cart until you’ve reached your designation.

Quickly, you regret acting on your impatience. The scene taking place at the back of the aisle is anything but comforting—Haechan’s talking to some girl, whom of which is literally throwing herself onto him, and you can’t help but notice the way he wallows in the attention. For fucks sake, all the attention you give him and he doesn’t even give a fraction of it back! Then here comes this random girl from your campus.

Sometimes, you think about how you could do everything she’s doing right now—twirl your hair around your finger, be touchy with him, giggling girlishly at everything he says, funny or not—and yet he wouldn’t bat an eye, because you’re best friends and nothing more. Kissing each other breathless is already normalized between the two of you, what’s a little flirting.

Sometimes, you wish you hadn’t kissed your best friend that day. You’re both too comfortable, everything is too weightless. I love you, Haechan says it back without a thought. C’mere, he calls and pulls you onto his lap or cuddles you to death. Fuck, he—on very rare occasions when making out goes a little too far—groans into your ear, groping you a little. Scratch that. It may be weightless on his end, but it isn’t on yours, and everything has an everlasting effect on you.

“Auntie?”

When you look down at Dohwan, your gaze is so, so tired. Your eyes do the talking; you can’t move your lips.

He hugs your leg. “I love you.”

His face is pure, innocent, but he reads you so perfectly. The corners of your lips turn up, and you ruffle his hair, “Love ya, too. Let’s go get your brother, alright?”

He bounces eagerly, and you both begin to stroll down the aisle until you’re beside Haechan. You’re in a selfish mood today, so you think of some remark to make in the process.

“Nice Tootsie Pops, Bowlcut,” you mask your tiny emotional breakdown with a joke, “Hi, Faith.”

“Hope,” she corrects, evidently annoyed by your presence, though she doesn’t state it outright. “My name is Hope. And… bowl cut?”

“Interchangeable,” you dismiss her correction carelessly. In all honesty, you already knew her name, but you’re feeling like a bitter bitch currently, “and yeah, in high school Haechan had this hideous bowl cut that he—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Haechan grumbles, “that was four years ago!”

“And I’ll never forget,” you’re smiling blissfully, nostalgic. “Anyways, what’cha two doing?”

“We were catching up, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen Hope here,” you hear Hope snicker at this, and something about it is extremely off-putting. He turns to her, “So, I’m in a bit of a time crunch. Could I have your number?”

Ouch. Right in your face, literally.

She giggles some more, typing her number in his phone, and you try to focus on Dohwan so that you don’t cave into your desire to knock her upside the head. There’s already so much on your plate, you don’t need an assault charge.

She smiles, all bubbly and giddy. You know jealousy isn’t a good look, but it’s still pissing you off. “See you around?”

“See you around,” Haechan replies. She hugs him, not forgetting to shoot you a look from across his shoulder as she does, and only once satisfied does she turns on her heel, sashaying away.

“Didn’t know pussy was on the shopping list,” you sneer, relieved once she’s finally gone. Her presence was suffocating.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “at least I’m actually trying, I don’t know what you’re going to do when I’m cuffed down and—holy sh—I mean crap! You’re so quiet, I forgot you were here,” Haechan jumps, only noticing Dohwan when he pokes at his leg. “And don’t you dare make a cuff joke, y/n. Not in front of the kid.”

You yell in that defensive tone which is a tell-tale sign you’re lying, “I wasn’t gonna!”

Haechan gives you the look.

The we’re-best-friends, I-know-when-you’re-lying look.

And that look is utterly withering, so you decide you’re accepting defeat. “Okay fine, maybe I was thinking about it, but I wasn’t actually gonna say it. Not with him around.”

Haechan snorts, like you said something funny, but in reality he just doesn’t believe you. “Yeah, alright. Let’s finish shopping.”

You don’t argue, but there’s a lingering thought in your mind as you push the cart, rattling around in your brain still.

When he’s cuffed. Hmm. You can’t speak for him completely, but you both know how that one goes. When you get into a relationship, you think the person is great and they serve as a nice temporary distraction—that is, until you’re bored and realize no one will ever compare to Haechan, and especially not in the kissing department. So you break up, and then you go back to making out with Haechan, solidifying your suspicion that no one will ever replace your best friend. It’s the reason you don’t do relationships anymore, you feel bad for using people when you know it isn’t going to change a thing. It never does.

As far as your knowledge extends, things aren’t too different with Haechan. You and him don’t push things, you don’t pry too deep. There’s some unspoken boundary, and you know when to drop things. That’s why you both say the same thing each time you ask one another why you and whoever it was that you were previously seeing broke up—it wasn’t working out.

Like a moth to a flame, Haechan always finds his way back to you too, because apparently you’re the only person that can keep him tied down. You don’t think that’s the case, though. Your problem is you’re in love with your best friend, no matter how hard you try to suppress the feelings. His problem? You can’t be sure, but you’d guess commitment issues.

Whatever it is, and as selfish as it may sound, you want it to stay. He isn’t yours, but you like the comfort of knowing that he isn’t anyone else’s, either.

If Cupid had a human counterpart, it would be Na Jaemin in reincarnated form. He may not have wings nor a bow and arrow, but he does have dedication and a gigantic mouth.

“I can’t believe you called me over here for this,” you stand in an effort to leave, but Jaemin pulls you back down by your wrist, so you sigh, accepting that you’re stuck in the cafe and in the middle of a Jaem-terrogation.

“Not so fast, Sonic. You still haven’t answered my question. I don’t have all day, you know, I have other people’s business to be in,” he admits unabashedly, and you snort at his honesty.

Jaemin is an extremely shameless, extremely straightforward individual. He knows what he wants, how to get it, and the only time he’s afraid of letting someone know what he’s chasing for is when it interferes with his goal of obtaining said desire. He loves all things drama and gossip, and these are the lengths he’ll go to squeeze information out of you. No wonder he’s one of the writers for the campus newspaper.

“I don’t have feelings for Haechan,” you fiddle with your fork. “And even if I did, why would it matter? Haechan doesn’t have feelings for me, either.”

“Forgive me, but you’re a fucking dumbass,” Jaemin concludes, and you gasp in dramatic offense. “Why would I be here if he didn’t like you back, y/n? You know that he hasn’t had anyone over in two weeks? There’s like, three things at the top of Haechan’s list of shit he needs to survive, and that’s you, Tootsie Pops, and sex. Yet he’s gone two entire weeks without it. He likes you, really fucking bad.”

“Golly gee, Haechan hasn’t fucked anyone in two entire weeks. He must be head over heels in love with me,” you deadpan, ignoring how Jaemin rolls his eyes in response. “Be serious, Jaem. He literally got this girl’s number the other day. The man said himself that he doesn’t want to stick his dick in me. There’s nothing going on.”

Okay, so maybe Haechan is a raging sexaholic. Maybe he’s been a little horny recently. And maybe contact-full makeout sessions have been a reoccurrence in the past two weeks, but none of that matters, and he typically has extreme self control. Fresh as yesterday, he was definitely trying to get into Hope’s pants. It’s weightless, everything between you. It means absolutely nothing, and you’re trying to come to terms with the possibility that it never will. You wish your friends would accept the fact, too.

At least they don’t know you and Haechan make out, and have been for the past four years. They’d be insufferable, and you two would absolutely never hear the end of it.

“Y/n, please. Your biggest competition is those damn Tootsie Pops.”

“And if you told him that he had to live without me or the candy, he’d choose them over me any day.”

“Actually, he’d tell me to fuck off—and stop asking him stupid questions. You can’t tell me I’m wrong because I’m speaking from experience,” Jaemin grins, “I pushed the question until he gave me a proper answer. He chose you, by the way.”

You groan into your hands, “Unless you have some other evidence to provide besides this stupid question and him not getting laid in two weeks, you’re wasting my time here, Cupid.”

Jaemin sighs, “I thought I could pressure you into admitting your feelings—”

“I don’t have feelings for Haechan!”

“—that you deny having, but I guess taking the high road doesn’t work. Don’t worry, I still have plan B. I mean, you should be worried, but it’s whatever.”

You blink. “Plan B?”

He ignores you, standing up and preparing to take his leave. You’re still curious about whatever his alternative, backup plan is however, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to tell you.

“Jaemin!” You shriek. “What are you talking about?”

“February 14th, Chenle’s party,” he answers vaguely, swinging his bag over his shoulders. “Be there, or be square. Whatever that means.”

He exits without another word, leaving you dumbfounded and with a sudden dread in your chest. They don’t… know, do they? No, of course not. How could they? You’ve been keeping this secret for nearly four years, and the only people that know are Jungwoo and Dohwan.

Great. Another reason to dread the fourteenth, and despise Cupid—and his human counterpart, your actual mortal enemy.

“I know you like Regina George, but the dress code is Cady Heron.”

Bummer. You didn’t exactly plan on attending as a sexy bunny in fishnets and knee-high boots, but you don’t intend on wearing a Party City outfit, neither. It’s only the 6th though, so you still have a week and some change to outfit plan.

You frown, “Why the change? None of his past parties have had much of a dress code.”

“Because Chenle is also stuck babysitting his baby brother on Valentine’s day while his parents are having a date night,” Haechan answers. “I’m not saying you have to dress like a prude, but don’t dress like a slut, either.”

Ignoring the insinuation behind his words, you don’t miss the fact he said also. “What do you mean also? Don’t tell me…”

“Exactly what you think. Dad is whisking my stepmom away on a romantic evening date to only God knows where, and Jungwoo is busy with his girlfriend, so me being the sole single-pringle in the family gave him the bright idea to have me baby sit,” he explains, though he doesn’t seem burdened by the task. “I don’t really mind, though. It’d be one thing if I planned on getting some pussy that night, but no one’s smashing at a party where there’s children. I hope not, at least.”

You wince at that. You hope not, too. It’s a setback that you have to re-plan your outfit, but on the plus side, Haechan can and will help you decide this time, even if you have to force him.

So that’s where you find yourself a couple hours later, your bedroom a mess as the aftermath of the meticulous care you’ve put into your self-styling. You’ve narrowed it down to two outfit selections; option A, the white crop-top with the cute pink pants; or option B, the pretty and red mini-dress with stilettos. It’s a little embarrassing that hours of your indecisiveness have led you to this conclusion, but you want to choose the perfect outfit that’s also not overbearing.

“And I have to help you why?”

“Because you’re my best friend, and that’s what best friends are for, duh.”

Haechan’s favorite thing about your place is you have all his utmost favorite games—and that literally everything there is like a piece of you, from the decoration to the smell of your perfume bottles you keep in your bathroom. He’d never tell you that, though—so he wasn’t too enthusiastic about being interrupted from his video-gaming session. But then, he realized he gets a special preview of your Valentine’s day outfit, and Haechan loves the way you dress, probably an abnormal amount. Slutty or prude-y.

“Then what’cha waiting for? Strip for me, princess,” he demands jokingly. It isn’t normal for you to feel bashful by anything a guy says, but everything is so different with Haechan. It’s the littlest, simplist things that drive you over the edge, that make you want him in ways you probably, scratch that, definitely shouldn’t.

And all the questions, assumptions, and rumors regarding your nonexistent relationship with Haechan aren’t exactly unwarranted. You two flirt and touch an abnormal amount, and while it’s common knowledge that Haechan is a touchy person, and you’re a natural flirt, people say it’s extreme between you two.

That makes you laugh. When it comes to the tension between you both that people speak of, you wish you could see what they see.

“You want to watch me strip?” You’re genuinely surprised, only the other day he seemed repulsed by the thought of you naked. “That’s new. I’m guessing you haven’t gotten laid in a hot minute.”

Haechan rolls his eyes, silently confirming what Jaemin told you at the cafe, but you shake the thought away, refusing to let it spur you on. It doesn’t mean anything. “Anyways. You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen before, baby girl. Now, you gonna strip or what?”

“I’m stripping, I’m stripping! Relax, Liam Payne!” It’s really nothing he hasn’t seen before, because Haechan’s seen naked girls, and he’s seen you half-naked before, so neither of you actually care. You peel off your top, slowly and in a strip tease sort of way and look him in the eye, giggling once you catch him shaking his head. You don’t repeat the movement with your shorts though, simply taking them off and picking up your new shirt to slip it off the hanger.

Successfully discreet, Haechan wallows in the sight of you half-naked for as long as he can before you’re slipping on the crop top and the pink pants. Now that he thinks about it, he bought you those pants, and darn do they make your ass look good. Then he realizes he’s thinking about your ass and taking not as discreet looks at it, and shakes the thought away.

“So?” Your voice cuts through the silence. “What do you think?”

He needs a moment to gather himself and recollect his thoughts, because he feels like turning on Destiny’s Child’s Bootylicious and if spoke his mind he would definitely say something he’d regret. Like, I could fuck the shit out of you. He doesn’t think he should say that.

“What do you mean, what do I think? I bought you those pants, I’d be damned if I thought you didn’t look good in them,” Haechan supplies, making you roll your eyes in response.

“Very underwhelming reaction. I wanted you to fall out on the floor and pass out for a few seconds with your hand on your chest,” you pout.

“Definitely not doing all that,” he chuckles. “But you do look good enough for… somebody to do it. Anyways, it’s stripping time again. Get in that dress for me, princess.”

If he doesn’t stop with the pet names you’re going to combust. You hide it though, taking off outfit option A and putting on option B. You feel confident in your appearance, with or without him, but the way Haechan’s practically gawking at you does boost said confidence.

“What about this one?”

Okay, so Haechan’s one-hundred percent biased in his decision—or maybe he isn’t, since he didn’t buy this outfit—though nonetheless, he loves this dress on you. In his personal opinion, you’ll look good in anything you wear, but the way this particular dress hugs your figure perfectly is a bonus. He knows all eyes are going to be on you the moment you step inside Chenle’s house, and maybe he’s going to have to keep you and Dohwan close to his side.

Rather than replying verbally, Haechan walks forward and pulls you into a kiss. His hands dip around your waist, skirting the area until he’s gripping you like he’s afraid of letting go.

And as always, you melt into his lips. Like ice to the sun, or wax to a flame. It’s the umpteenth kiss in your whole lifetime, but Haechan always makes it feel like the first time. Like two love-struck highschoolers, except with a lot more experience. Haechan kisses you like he loves you, and you hate it. You might even loathe it.

His fingers slip down your hips, to your revealed thighs, like he just so happens to know that’s one of your weak spots. Luckily you’ve learned some of his weak spots too, and not really thinking, you don’t hesitate to aim for his most sensitive one - his neck. You can’t get used to how beautiful he sounds as he moans, your lips pressing into his sweet spot and leaving undoubtedly a mark.

“Fuck,” Haechan moans, “you’re my kryptonite, you know that?”

“A kiss is all it takes for you to fold?” You gasp out with a smirk.

“Shut up.”

Your grin widens. “Make me.”

Just as he leans in, about to pin you down to your duvet and kiss the life out of you while you’re thinking that maybe this is the tension people speak of, his phone rings in his back pocket. It feels like snapping out some trance or spell, like a reverse Cupid’s arrow, and he instantly backs off of you.

He takes a look at his phone screen. “I um, I gotta take this.”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Okay.”

“You look great though,” he comments, and you smile thinly at him as he slips from between your fingertips yet again.

It seems that you’re left all alone, pathetically wet, and wondering if that person on the other line is Hope - but you try to shake that thought off.

Sighing, you flop against your sheets. Love is some extremely cruel, extremely rigged game that only lucky people win, and it seems that Luck has sided with the evil that is Cupid. You’ve been dealt cards, and Haechan refuses to show you his hand. All you can do is watch it play out.

Haechan knew that something was dangerously off when Jaemin bought him a brand-new bag of Tootsie Pops without being asked, and invited you over for a movie night with the guys, offering to open up with you and Haechan’s all-time favorite movie, Mean Girls. He even offered to play The Kissing Booth next! Everyone else instantly protested of course, but the fact he offered in the first place is borderline suspicious.

Sure, Jaemin’s not the devil or anything, depending on who you ask. He’s… kind, and he can be a sweetheart. But Jaemin does nothing for free, and Haechan can’t shake the thought that this is planned bribery. And it isn’t hush-money. Jaemin doesn’t buy silence, he buys words.

By the time Jaemin asks Haechan to help him with the popcorn, he’s ninety-nine point nine percent sure that something is definitely wrong here. Yet still, he follows him into the kitchen.

“Alright, what’s up man?” Haechan wastes zero time, wanting to get to the bottom of all this. “I know you want something out of me. There’s no other reason you would offer to play The Kissing Booth, or buy me Tootsie Pops for free.”

Jaemin scoffs, but he doesn’t try to front, “Glad you know. Since we’re on the same page, let’s address this thing with you and y/n.”

“That’s what this is about?” Haechan grumbles. “I’ve told you, I don’t have feelings for her!” He whisper-yells.

Jaemin has heard that far too many times for it to be convincing. He’s positive that even Helen Keller herself could tell you two are hopelessly in love. Takes one to know one, he thinks. It seems the three of you must be blind, because you and Haechan are oblivious to your feelings for one another, and it’s painfully obvious.

“And Mary wasn’t a virgin,” Jaemin says ironically, making Haechan roll his eyes. “If you’re not in love with her, then explain what the hell is going on between you two. I know that she’s your best friend or whatever, but you don’t act like it at all. From a fresh perspective, someone would totally think you’re in love.”

Haechan hates that he’s right. It doesn’t make sense the amount of times you’ve gone to public places and had cashiers refer to you as a couple, or elderly people ask you if you’re together. Because you’re not. You’re best friends, and even if Haechan wants to be more than that, that’s his label. And he’s sure he’s stuck with it for life.

“You’re fucking Hope to distract yourself from your feelings for y/n,” Jaemin adds, and it’s a statement, not a question.

“I’m not—”

“You are,” Jaemin interjects. “Head over heels, in love with a girl you think doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and you’re also being an ass to her, whether you know it or not.”

If Haechan was in a situation where he needed to simplify the reason you two click so well, he’d say chalk it up to compatibility and say it’s because you’re like a mirror of one another. Which also means he knows you, better than anyone else even, and he knows neither of you do the whole catching feelings things anymore. You like to fuck and flirt, and fuck some more, to avoid the fact that you love too hard. If you fuck people whose names you don’t even remember, it doesn’t mean a darn thing that you two make out.

No one really knows about that part yet. But they do know that you like to fuck, and that’s why Haechan thinks that if he’s an ass, then that means so are you. What the fuck is he doing that you aren’t?

Even if he is an ass, what is he supposed to do? He’s only recently realized that damn, he actually does have feelings for you, which is where Hope comes along and yes, he is fucking her to distract himself from you. So what? It’s not like it’s working, he’s still stuck on you, obsessed with the thought of you, craving your touch and the sound of your voice. He still loves you, and it’s so scary because no matter what his friends say, he thinks they don’t know you or your relationship like he does. They think they do, but they don’t.

“I’m not in love,” Haechan lies through his teeth, “maybe I’m in like.”

Jaemin snorts. In like? That’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. Not in love his fucking ass. “You’re in denial, that’s what you are.”

Haechan grumbles, trying desperately not to raise his voice so that the others don’t hear him from the living room, “Even if I did like her—and I’m telling you, I don’t—it wouldn’t change anything because she doesn’t like me.”

“You two are the same breed of oblivious and stupid,” Jaemin takes the popcorn out of the microwave, pouring it all into a bowl. He’s even laughing, much to Haechan’s confusion, but he’s apparently unbothered by Haechan’s lack of confession, “but fine. Lie to my face. I still have a backup plan.”

“A back-up plan?” Haechan repeats, lost.

“I just thought it would be nice of me to try and get you to confess before I have to work a Valentine’s day miracle, but unfortunately you two are a match made in heaven—both terribly stubborn,” Jaemin says vaguely, not really answering Haechan’s question, “so I guess we’ll all know the truth at Chenle’s party.”

Jaemin exits with the popcorn bowls before Haechan can even part his lips to ask another question, and he stands there, shocked and unsure of how to react. He’s concerned, though. Jaemin has something cooking (besides the popcorn), and he isn’t sure what, but it’s Na fucking gossiping blabbermouth Jaemin. That means it can’t be anything good.

So apparently when you and Haechan had that heated makeout session the other day, you left a trail - or in other words, you marked his neck the fuck up.

You hadn’t noticed because he covered it up with concealer, but you’re in the middle of another one of those when he stops you, preventing you from repeating your mistake.

“You can’t do that. People will see,” Haechan frowns. You wonder what’s the problem with hickeys. Is he embarrassed? No way. Haechan? Embarrassed? About hickeys? He has much bigger fish to fry.

In contrast, you’re over the moon. Even if he isn’t yours, marking him up makes you feel like he belongs to you. Plus, other people will see, and they’ll know that he isn’t theirs, either. Haechan also has a beautiful neck, you realize as you stare at his skin. It makes you wonder if there’s anything about him that isn’t beautiful.

“Would that be so bad?” You ask. “You’d look sexy all marked up by me.”

Haechan groans, “Do you ever think with your head and not your pussy?”

“I wish my pussy was my head. My head’s just so full of you,” you sigh dramatically.

It’s rare for Haechan to blush, but you somehow manage to make him full-on flush sometimes and you take that as an achievement. It’s partially the reason you love flirting with him so much, he’s so reactive. His reactions are cute sometimes.

“Be serious for 5 seconds,” he whines, and you giggle.

“I was serious,” you insist, “but fine, I’ll think with my head since yours is clearly not working. No one’s gonna assume they’re from me, Hyuck. Just tell them they’re from one of your hoes.”

“I know, but it’s not them I’m worried about. It’s, um…” he trails off.

You’re confused, blinking. If not your friends, then who on earth—oh, for fucks sake.

“It’s Hope,” you utter tonelessly.

“Yeah, uh, yeah,” he wonders why you suddenly sound so dry, and then the whole grocery shopping thing seeps back into his mind. You obviously don’t like Hope, and it’s not just you, really. Lots of people don’t like her. But Haechan needs a pretty face to compete with the image of yours in his head, even if it isn’t winning. “She kinda likes me, and—”

“Do you like her?” You don’t mean to ask so fast. It slips, like your mouth has a mind of its own.

Haechan shrugs. No, he doesn’t like her. He likes you, but he thinks that maybe he can somehow convince himself it’s the other way around. So he replies, “Maybe.”

Fuck. You try not to appear suddenly devoid of life, forcing a cheery smile. “That’s… nice,” you lie through your teeth. “Let me take this opportunity to have one last kiss before I possibly never will again?”

Haechan snickers, to silently say as if. He isn’t wrong for it, either. One kiss is never one kiss with him — never has been, never will be. There’s a reason you both bonded over bombing a math exam.

D-day rolls around, and you’re eyeing your frame in your full-length mirror, smoothing your palms over your dress as you give yourself a quick once-over before the clock strikes 7PM. You look like that bitch, and everyone in that party is going to fucking know it because you’re going to walk in there like that bitch. Fuck Cupid. You don’t need his stupid bow. And fuck Haechan, too. He’s your ride, but he’s gonna ditch you at some point in the party like he always does. It’ll be no different now, and this time, you’ll be the first one to leave.

The chime of the doorbell jolts you from your mental slumber, and you quickly reach for your purse then head towards the door with a heavy heartbeat. You know he’s already seen you in this dress, he chose it for fucks sake, but there’s something else that gets your heart racing—no. You can’t think about him. Fuck Haechan, remember? He’s no good for you.

“Here goes nothing,” you mutter to yourself, palm on the doorknob, “you can do this.”

Haechan’s sucks in a breath the moment you open the door. You look gorgeous. You always do, but in this particular moment, you look better than you ever have before. Those corny romance sayings usually make him laugh with mirth, but he’s genuinely convinced you look better everyday that he sees you. All dressed up like this, or not.

“You look so pretty, Auntie!” Dohwan beats him to a compliment.

You bend down to ruffle the boy’s hair, “Thank you, Dohwan. You look very handsome.” And then you look at Haechan.

He looks handsome as well, unfortunately. Jet black hair, exposed forehead, and his outfit is black with red hearts in the center of the shirt. You try not to pay him too much mind, but your heart and the place between your thighs don’t seem to agree with your mind. He catches you looking at him, and feels a twinge of anxiousness in his heart. Get it together, man, he tells himself. Lee Donghyuck doesn’t get nervous looking at pretty girls. Lee Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate about his actions, either, wondering if he should hold your hand, he doesn’t rethink what he should say. It all comes to him naturally.

“Yeah, you look beautiful,” he settles, mentally cursing himself for being unable to think of anything else. He blames you. Ever since you first snuck in his mind, you’ve been living rent-free there, and make it hard to think about anything else sometimes. That’s why he thought that needed distractions.

If you could relay the message to your heart, you’d tell it stop beating. Instead, you mask your emotion, smiling. “Thank you, likewise. Now c’mon, we gotta get there by 7:30!”

Haechan’s saddened by the dismissal, but you don’t catch his face as you walk to his car.

If you ignore him, you can do this.

Haechan cannot do this.

Something isn’t right. It wasn’t right the second he noticed you gave him a simple, rushed compliment, not bothering to make some sexual remark that usually makes Haechan’s cheeks feel like fire. You didn’t even kiss him before you got in the car. And Haechan’s sure you’ve been avoiding him like the plague, scurrying off and getting lost in the red and pink sea before he could even ask you if you wanted to check out the drink menu.

He doesn’t know where you are, and that haunts him. Turns out Chenle is paying Yangyang, Ten and Jisung to keep the kids entertained on one end of the house, whilst the adults do adult-y things on the other. You could be with someone else for all he knows, hell, you probably are. He was practically fuming when he saw some people staring at you as you walked in.

“Uh oh, I think y/n divorced Haechan,” Chenle jokes, and a choir of laughs follows suit.

Haechan grumbles, “A guy can’t miss his girl best friend?”

“Of course, you can,” Chenle drawls, “but everyone knows she’s more than just a friend to you. Like even if you aren’t together, there’s no way you guys don’t have feelings for each other.”

“Right? And they’re so cute together, too. A literal match made in heaven by angel Cupid,” Jaemin agrees, speaking as though Haechan isn’t right there.

“You’re dating y/n?” gasps Karina, overhearing Jaemin much to Haechan’s dismay. Oh, great, she’s as much as a blabbermouth as he is. The whole world’s going to think Haechan’s dating you in five minutes or less.

“No!”

“Yes, he is, spread the word,” Jaemin says, already knowing he doesn’t have to tell her. Karina’s mumbling I knew it under her breath before jogging somewhere.

“You know,” Haechan starts, downing a shot because if he’s not at least tipsy he’s going to die at this party, “she’s been making me watch murder documentaries with her and I’ve definitely picked up a thing or two. I’d be careful.”

Jaemin scoffs, “Please. You’re going to be kissing my ass and the ground that I walk on by the time this party’s over.”

There it goes. Haechan wonders what’s so special about tonight that Jaemin’s been hinting at vaguely. It’s been keeping him on his toes, but he doesn’t ask because he knows Jaemin, and he isn’t going to tell him a thing. The one time this guy wants to keep something secret.

An hour flies by, and Haechan still hasn’t seen you. He’s looked for you, and refuses to believe his eyes are somehow missing you, even though you’re in a crowd. He literally went up the stars and gazed over the railing for a better view, and you were no where to be found. You’ve refused to answer your phone, too, and Haechan doesn’t know what to do. He would just start talking to some random chick, but that’s not what Haechan wants. He doesn’t want some random chick. He wants to be with you. Hold you. Touch you. Kiss you, with no shame, no fear, in front of everyone, and he isn’t in denial about it. He wants you.

And Jaemin is fed up.

“Alright, I’m tired of you moping around drinking like a divorced man. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Jaemin suggests. Or commands, but still.

Haechan quirks a brow. “Where there’s nothing but more drinks?”

“Trust me, I’m not letting you drink anymore tonight. You have a wife and a kid to drive home,” Jaemin jokes. Usually he’d deny any sort of relationship with you that isn’t best-friendship, but Haechan simply shakes his head, following his friend and roommate into the kitchen.

Then he sees you, and his jaw doesn’t just drop, but it falls flat on the ground, bounces a little, and comes back down. You’re clinging to Chenle’s side with a confused face, equally as surprised to see him, though not very delighted.

“What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?”

You stare at one another.

“Stop copying me!”

“Stop copying me!”

Jaemin and Chenle stare at one another, then stare at you two staring at one another, and stare at one another again.

“I hate to interrupt your… stare-off, but there’s a reason we brought you two here,” Jaemin interjects, making you two finally split gazes as you stare at him, confused.

“Which is?”

“Which is?”

You glare at him. Jaemin’s success was short-lived, it seems.

“Drum roll, please,” he says, and Chenle begins tapping against the counter, “Dohwan!”

Suddenly, Dohwan pops up from around the corner. He’s on the completely wrong side of the house, and while he’s under adult supervision, you still wonder why he’s here.

You blink. “What’s he doing here?”

Jaemin smirks. “I’m glad you asked. Dohwan tells me he’s witnessing some very interesting sights of the two of you. Go ahead and tell us what you saw, kiddo.”

“I saw Haechan and Auntie y/n kissing, like mommy and daddy do!” Dohwan shares, grimacing in disgust. If you weren’t practically fearing for your life right now, you’d probably laugh at his reaction.

“And how often do you see this?” Chenle adds.

“Um…” the kid ponders, “every time Auntie y/n comes over. I heard them say they wanted to keep it a secret from me, but they’re not very good at it.”

Haechan shoots you a panicked look, and you’re wearing the exact same one. By the time you realize that this is what Jaemin’s been hinting at this whole time, it’s much too late. Your secret has been exposed to the worst people ever, and now they’re definitely going to think you’re dating. 

“Thank you for your input, Dohwan,” Jaemin smiles, then turns to look at you and Haechan. You’re both frozen and stiff, unsure of how to respond. “So, anything to say about this?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Haechan’s quick to say. You hope no one catches the way your face falters with hurt for a split second. “If you want me to be honest, then fine, I will. Yeah, we kiss. We’ve been kissing since high school, but it didn’t mean anything then and it doesn’t mean anything now. We just, I don’t know, do it for fun.”

Chenle deadpans, “So you just kiss for pure, innocent fun.”

“Exactly,” Haechan nods. “It means nothing.”

It means something to me, you think to yourself, and when you notice the silence in the room, you gaze up to see everyone’s eyes on you, Haechan’s a little wide. Oh, fuck.

“I said that aloud, didn’t I?”

“Yep,” Jaemin grins. He was right. “Is there something you want to share with the class?”

Stupidly, you decide to look at Haechan, and he’s re-lost his composure, frozen up and stiff all over again. Your heart is pounding harder than it has been all night. It’s partially the alcohol, but you can feel it in your veins and all around you. It won’t leave you alone, and looking at Haechan, it’s faster, as if to say he’s the one I want.

So you choose to make another decision that you might possibly regret, but you have to get this off your chest. It isn’t news to anyone but Haechan anyways.

“Donghyuck,” you start, and he knows it’s getting serious because you just said his government name. You literally never call him by his government name. “I know we agreed to keep things platonic, and for it to mean nothing, but I want you. Like really, really bad. I think I—no, everyone’s right, I really am, extremely in love with you. If you don’t feel the same I understand, I just had to get this off my che—”

You aren’t given the chance to finish before Haechan swoops you in his arms, reaching for your waist as he pulls you into a kiss. There’s a chorus of cheers from Chenle and Jaemin, followed by a shriek of disgust from Dohwan as he covers his eyes, but you two aren’t trying to hide anymore, you want to scream from the rooftops that you’re in love. Yes, the infamous Lee Donghyuck and y/n know more than flirting and fucking. You’re in love, drunk off of a sip of it and the taste of Haechan’s lips, and god, has kissing your best friend never felt better.

“Let’s give the newlywed couple some privacy now,” Jaemin says with a grin. Gosh, he really is the spawn of Cupid, but you have to thank him. This wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for his stupid ‘gotcha!’ plan. “You two work this out.”

The three of them pile out, and you and Haechan part from one another to breathe. You stay in comfortable silence for a moment, his hands slipping into yours.

“Your hands are sweating,” you comment after a while.

“It’s hot.”

“It’s the middle of February.”

“So? Global warming is real, you know,” Haechan shrugs, refusing to acknowledge the fact that his hand is sweating because he’s nervous. He’s accepted that you make him feel all warm inside and his heart feel like mush, but he still isn’t used to not hiding the way you make him feel.

You laugh but don’t press things. “Newlywed couple, huh. Can’t be, you still haven’t popped the question.”

“Yeah?” He laughs, too. “Then will you take my hand in marriage and take me as your illegally wedded husband?”

You hum, pretending to contemplate, “Hmm, I don’t know. You sure you don’t wanna marry a giant cardboard Tootsie Pop cutout? Or what about that girl? What happened to her, by the way, I thought you said you liked her.”

Haechan groans, not really wanting to think about her right now, “No more Hope. Ironically, she’s a lost cause. I had to cut shit with her because she can’t comprehend what a fling is. She wanted a relationship, and you know, I lied to you when I said that I might want her. I didn’t know you liked me back until, like, now, so I was just saying shit in hopes of convincing myself I could stop liking you. That planned failed, though.”

His words lift a massive weight off of your shoulders, and you finally feel like you can breathe now. Take that, bitch, you think with a smirk. She was giggling in your face so hard at the grocery store, but you’re having the last laugh.

You tilt your head. “What about the Tootsie Pops?”

“Yeah, sorry but I can’t give them up as easily. Would you mind a Tootsie Pop bouquet?”

Gosh, this is the man you love. You roll your eyes, but smile as you reply, “You know, you’re like a Tootsie Pop.”

If Haechan were a dog, his ears would perk up right now. “How come?”

“I’ll never know how long I’ll be able to kiss you without wanting to fuck you,” you lean in his ear to purr, voice tickling his neck. You eye it and his lips, and lord knows you can’t wait to finally be able to mark him up again.

“Yeah? Wanna go home, put Dohwan to sleep, and let me take this dress off you?” He grips at your waist, his hand resting there with the burning urge to dip lower. He bites his lip.

“Thought you drew the line at sticking your dick in me,” you joke.

“That was when I was in denial about wanting you,” Haechan whispers, “but now I can admit to myself that even though you amazing in this dress, I wanna take it off of you. Your body’s perfect.”

“I kinda hate the scar on my thigh.”

“Don’t. It provides depth to your character. It makes someone wonder how you got it, the story of how it happened,” he answers, ever so deeply.

“Poetic,” you snort, “can’t tell if you’re giving me Bruno Mars or John Legend vibes more right now.”

Haechan rolls his eyes, smiling. “You said you’d never know how long you’d be able to kiss me without dying to fuck me, right?”

“I never said dying.”

He ignores you, “Then let’s put it to the test, shall we?”

Your lips wind up pressed firmly to his, with your hands on his cheek and his palms on your hips yet again. It’s fiercer than ever, Haechan’s kissing you like he doesn’t want to let you breathe, like he wants to stay in this moment with you forever. He kisses you with love and lust, with passion and desire, with emotion and no more fear in his chocolate-y eyes. You don’t regret kissing Haechan that day. It took a while, but it brought you to this moment where you can finally call him yours. And that one more kiss stuff is bullshit. His lips are yours and vice versa, and as you’re by each other’s side, you’ll never stop kissing him. And he’ll never stop kissing you.

“They’re here!” Karina suddenly bursts into the kitchen, pointing at you and Haechan. “Look! I told you they were dating!”

Oh, god. You totally forgot about Karina’s stupid bet with Mark. Mark looks entirely devastated and surprised, devastated because that’s twenty-five bucks gone from his wallet, and surprised because he genuinely believed you and Haechan have been best friends this whole time. Technically, he isn’t wrong, but you’re not sure if you want to interrupt to tell them that.

Mark whines, “Oh, c’mon! I really thought you guys were just friends.”

“Pay up, loser,” Karina smirks, and with a pout, Mark pulls cash from his pockets.

Haechan looks at you, and while you don’t say anything, you can tell you’re both thinking the exact same thing. The whole campus is about to know you two are dating. Karina’s for sure going to tell everyone she knows, hell, probably even people she doesn’t know, and there’s a ninety-nine point nine percent chance of Jaemin raining your business on everyone in his latest report for the school newspaper.

You can’t say that you care, though. This is what you wanted, to unashamedly love Haechan, to be able to state it proudly in front of everyone, to let everyone know, to claim him as yours and yours only. So fuck Cupid. Fuck his bow, fuck his arrow, because this relationship is all a product of you and Haechan’s hard work and dedication.

Who needs Cupid’s bow when you have tasty lips and Tootsie-Pops?

“You’re telling me you’ve been in love with me for the past four years? Oh, you’re a soldier. I would have given up in the first month.”

You snort. Part of becoming Haechan’s girlfriend is the process of telling one another the secrets you’ve been keeping, such as how long you can been in love. Haechan’s been in love with you for a solid year, he thinks, maybe two, but it’s been almost four years for you, on the other hand.

“If only it were that easy,” you sigh. “Trust me, I tried getting over you by getting under other people—how Jessie Reyez of me—but that didn’t work out, obviously.”

“You are too much like me,” Haechan shakes his head. “What made you think we should anyways?”

“You mean, four years ago, or now?”

Haechan shrugs. “Either. Give me three reasons.”

“Oh, brace yourself. I could do a presentation on this. One, we know each other’s McDonald’s orders. Two, like you said, we’re very alike. When have we ever argued over pizza toppings?” You reason. “Three, I can’t imagine kissing anybody else. I mean, we’ve basically been practicing on each other for the past four years. I’m the reason you can kiss so good, it would insane for you make out with other people. Four, I have a fat ass and sometimes I catch you staring at—”

“I said three reasons!” Haechan cries, face blooming red as a rose.

“I could go for a fifth,” you grin, “we’re both terrible at math.”

“Damn right we are,” he mutters. “But that’s what makes us… us, isn’t it? The only reason we’re dating right now is because we couldn’t resist kissing each other after one time.”

He’s right. It practically only took one kiss to fall in love with Haechan. He’s giving you major Dua Lipa vibes right now.

“I know you’re thinking about that Dua Lipa song right now.”

You smirk. “You know me very well.”

He tilts his head. “And what else are you thinking about?”

“That you look like all I need,” you say in tune, making Haechan laugh. “And I just want to feel your skin on mine.”

“Then we should do something about that, right?” Haechan smirks back.

You’re kissing the smirk right off his lips seconds later, and this is where you decide that you just can’t get enough of him. Even if one kiss is all it takes, you’re greedy for more, and more, and more, until both your lips are swollen and you’re both gasping for air.

[otakween]

Digimon Data Squad (Savers) - Episode 21

Meh, this one was kinda boring. It was more action-focused than the previous one and I had trouble staying engaged. Highlight of the episode was the sweet bonding moment between Falcomon and Ikuto.

Speaking of Ikuto, I wonder if we'll get a new OP or ED that includes him soon?

Notes:

So far, it seems like the villains motivation just seems to be that they want to be left alone, which I think is fair enough lol. Then again, it's hard for humans to leave digimon alone when they keep popping up in the real world and causing mischief...Actually, DATS mission is to keep digimon out of the real world, so they're basically coming from the same place. It really seems like they just need to write some kinda treaty and get it over with.

The Pteramon looked so much like airplanes that I thought it was the military coming (I guess Japan doesn't have a military, but you know what I mean).

I just realized that both Frontier and Savers have a prominent Gotsumon character which feels kinda boring to me. I rather have new characters be different kind of digimon for variety's sake. I do like repeats for continuity, but not for big characters, if that makes sense.

It's kinda funny how much cuter Falcomon's voice is in the original. In the dub he kinda sounds like Mr. Owl from the Tootsie Pops commercials, but in the Japanese he sounds like a little kid which makes him a lot more endearing imo.

Gotsumon's army being armor types was fun. Is "armor type" different from "armor digivolution?"

Miki and Megumi (had to google their names) finally get to participate in a battle. Their dramatic appearance felt very magical girl-esque. I like the concept of the centaur-like KnightChessmon, but their screen time was so brief I feel like I barely got a look at them.

And now we have some mystery dude with shaggy hair. Bad guy? Good guy? Neutral? I guess we'll find out!

[ridhearts]

My Very Specific Vil Agenda

So, to put it simply: I think deep down Vil is an artiste~ and he's actually rather reserved and sweet and maybe even just a tad bit shy, BUT he's developed a sort of "big sister" complex and the industry has made him into All That.

Let me start this off by saying that I have a habit of picking a character to be a fave based on nothing but vibes and gut instinct and then forcing them, in some way, shape or form, into my Softboy Box. (More often than not they also get injected with my patented Sadboy Serum but Vil has avoided this fate….for now.) And I really don't know why, other than I just find little mushy spots in characters humanizing and fun, and also its probably a third projecting on my part. So please keep in mind that this is entirely self indulgent and what I like to keep in mind when I write Vil, I do not expect others to like or agree with it nor do I think this is genuinely canon. I tried to keep it believable but I'm here for funsies lol Disney didn't hire me to do anything so I'll go as crazy as I want!

And of course, huuuuge thanks to @scarletrain1724 for helping me with some of these thoughts! I absolutely LOVE screaming about Pomefiore with you thank you so much for not only letting me yell but also encouraging me and ALSO also elevating my thoughts to something more <3

Now, without further ado: my personal Vil characterization can be split into three genres of person or however you'd say it. He has so much sweetness inside of him I just know it!!!! It's just all encased in a spiky thorny bubble of expectations. Sour Patch Kids who? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop??

Big Sister Vil

This one was my first deep dive decision into Vil and it got me REALLY loving on him because omg????? He TOTALLY fits the Big Sister archetype if you think about it. I mean it!! Picture a Disney sitcom, and picture the older sister of the main character. What personality traits do you think they'd give her?

Bossy, and probably kind of a jerk 

Super possessive over her clothes and makeup

Constantly making snide remarks about the main character

Probably more but you get my point

THIS ISN'T VIL SLANDER I PROMISE. But think about it - doesn't this fit Vil to a degree? Like he's got his firm expectations and he's constantly working, he's already achieved so much, his dorm members look up to him…and yeah, I'll be the first to say it! Sometimes he's kind of a dick about it! He's super pushy with people that he considers under his wing, he nitpicks every little imperfection he sees, and while I have not seen anything explicitly saying he does this, you think he's gonna let those unpolished potatoes touch his shit???!?! Blasphemy!!!!

But, in the way the Mean Older Sister usually comes around and becomes the MC's friends in those sitcoms, Vil has a hidden softness to him, too. Have you ever been in a club or extracurricular and the oldest person is your peer but they're kinda like the group mom? That's how I see Vil. Mom friend vibes except he's mean about it. He understands that unrelenting pursuits do not need to be aimed toward something he likes or entirely understands, and I'll bet he'll educate himself on his dorm member's interests so he can tell them they're pursuing it wrong teehee. He'll fix up an underclassman's makeup gently and send them off with a wave. He may be your biggest critic but he's also the first one to cut a bitch if they're stepping out of line. It takes a while to get there, but Vil can be that kinda naggy, kinda annoying guiding figure (and, of course, you love him anyway.)

Also, as someone with a huge bias towards good sibling tropes, it just makes me smile!! He's not fun to be around sometimes, and sometimes he'll say something that makes you think he HATES you. But deep down he cares, he's just…abrasive about it sometimes.

Inmate Number 90201 // Shy Kid Vil

DON'T BOO ME BEFORE I'VE SPOKEN!! Anyway shy vil agenda (tomatoes are thrown and a giant hook pulls me off the stage)

LISTEN….hear me out. There's a certain brand of shyness that is more reservation and less low self-esteem. Because I'm going to be honest, I know he has A Complex but I don't see truly low self esteem. I mean. I think he has kinda terrible coping methods and a toxic ideal of perfection, BUT. NOT LOW SELF-ESTEEM. So when I say he's shy, I don't mean he turns (or turned, when he was a kid) into a blubbering mess when people talked to him. I don't think he always clung to his father's pant leg when there were people at his house. I just mean that he was comfortable doing his own thing all of the time.

Now…..there is a difference between being shy and being private, especially as an adult. And to be honest, I'm not one hundred percent sure where I draw the line. But it just feels to me…Vil doesn't keep his personal information private just for safety. When he has fans lining up at the entrance of a studio or theater, waiting for him to walk by, he has to kinda brace himself for a moment. The thought of being recognized in public kinda throws him off kilter for a moment. There's no fear in this response, it's just…his comfort zone is by himself. Meeting so many new people is kind of bizarre, and the thought of them knowing so much about him is…undesirable. He isn't afraid of people not liking him, he's just…not fond of the expectation that puts on the dynamic between him and his fans. That's it, really. Vil can handle it well - he DOES handle it well - but he knows that he rather likes how practicing his lines is often a solo activity. He's fine with the independence.

THIS ALSO bleeds into the other trope I grouped in with this one……..I mean, forgive my bias against pretty much ANY industry (omg ruggie kin moment), but I refuse to believe Vil hasn't been hardened by The Industry. Who wouldn't be? Especially because (I think?) he was involved in celebrity business from a young age. So just in general, he's had to shape himself to meet the expectations of directors and choreographers and anybody else he's been employed by. We also know he is very firm about his image. It's been meticulously crafted since day one. This output does NOT come from a healthy, forgiving machine is all I'm saying.

(Also quick aside, my friend has also mentioned how its likely Vil probably had some strict teachers growing up - like ballet teachers (or maybe he was even in ballet as a kid? Was he? My brain is information soup) That type of strict tutelage can stick with you. They also said a big sticking point in ballet is control and stiffness without a loss of elegance and like that's!!! That's the stuff baby!! That's Vil!! And it would explain a lot about him~)

But Vil is intimately aware of how public perception works, and how that bleeds into the inner circles of TWST Hollywood (and vice versa!). And I'm not going to lie, I think him being a shy kid would partially explain why he's SO hardcore about….everything. I mean, imagine you're a boy who just likes acting and to mind his own business, and you're quickly rising to fame in a world where everybody wants to know everything about you just to pick it apart and call you horrible. First of all, the invasiveness is enough to give anybody nightmares, especially anybody remotely shy, but also - nobody wants to be called mean things. As a kid, he was private because he had his dad to help him stay away from giving answers he might regret later, and a part of him was probably extremely put off by how uncomfortable it all made him. But Vil has always been extraordinary, and I think he understands what a massively wonderful opportunity he's been granted where he's able to do what he loves. Vil is adamant that he's gotten his success so early in life because he worked hard and is genuinely that good, and he's right, but I don't think he's blind to the privileges he's always had access to. (Using them to his advantage is equal parts just using them and putting them to good use so they don't go to waste. One of the few rich boys I won't clown on. For now) So he rose to the challenge and pushed the growing discomfort aside, and became a bit…….colder. Over time, as he met more people and adjusted to his growing fan base, he became more and more firm in his boundaries, more strict, and more of the person he is in canon.

I'm not about to say Vil is traumatized by the industry, but I think it played a huge role in shaping who he is, and it makes sense that him being a bit more squishy as a kid is why he went SO far in the opposite direction. He's not a bad person, but he kinda overcorrected, and as a result he's kind of prickly and hard to talk to.

ALTHOUGH…….once a shy kid, always a shy kid. I think Vil's defo got some of that shy blood in him still. It's probably manifested differently at this point in his life but I bet it's THERE. If he was shy as a youngin' then I can imagine he didn't exactly have a lot of friends. Which is fine! He probably had enough. But as he got older and started climbing the social ranks, what was once shy became viewed as being snobbish, which is DEFINITELY not good for your image. And with a certain rivalry on his mind, plus I'm sure Vil hasn't landed every part he's always wanted, he began to feel true rejection for the first time. And he didn't know what to do with it, especially because it felt aimed at an intrinsic part of himself he couldn't "fix."

So he went in the other direction. Instead of keeping to himself, he made his wants and intentions (both for himself and others) clear. This also came with an added bonus: when the public has room to speculate over who you are, they will. If he gets to decide what fills in the blanks, he has a little more control over what people think of him.

Have y'all seen that tumblr post where it claims that Kristen Stewart and Jennifer Lawrence were both awkward, but one was introverted and mocked for it while the other was extroverted and praised for it? (I know that Kristen Stewart played a character that was liked less but shhhhh I'm talking about my anime boys I get to stretch the truth a little but here.) I bet that's kinda what he wants to avoid. If he puts himself out there more, he can avoid some of the mockery that might fall upon a more introverted soul.

Arthouse Hoe Vil

This one is a favorite of mine too hehe :3

So I got on this topic after talking about how the dynamic between Vil and Cater intrigues me (which……could be a whole separate post on its own but I'll save that for later). So y'all know in one of the vignettes (I belieeeeeeeeveeeee it's Vil's school uniform R card BUT don't quote me on that) Cater is trying to take a photo with Vil for Magicam clout but Vil tells him no because his face is part of his intricately curated brand? This is so FASCINATING to me because they're both in a similar sphere but are in it for vastly different reasons. Cater wants fame and attention (WHICH IT'S DEEPER THAN THAT I KNOW but this is a Vil meta and Cater will have to wait for his 15 minutes) but Vil needs to protect his brand because he wants to be able to continue what he's doing and it just implies to me that he is in it for the art of it all.

Like he cares about his image in general of course and he doesn't mind the fame I'd assume (it's probably more like a double edged sword to him tbh) but his heart is in it for the art of filmmaking and the art of modeling.

HOWEVER I feel like at some point it got…messy.

Vil is good at what he does and he's got the legacy to bolster his fame, and the films he was in stopped being cinematic art pieces and became instant blockbusters simply because they starred him. When he nodded something, it became about him and not about the clothes. And he recognizes this for sure.

Isn't that such a bittersweet thing? To be acclaimed for your art at the cost of it no longer being art and being merchandise instead?

Final Thoughts

I don't have a way to wrap "Arthouse Hoe Vil" up with a pretty little bow so I'm just moving on to my conclusion hehe~

First I wanna say that I don't think Vil is necessarily a victim of any of these things. Victimhood isn't a look he wants and I'm not trying to force him into it. irl you don't choose if you're a victim I don't mean to imply that but FOR VIL SPECIFICALLY you get what I mean But the way we turn out is influenced by so many things that I can't help but wonder about the influences he had. Vil's behavior only reads to me as a man who will do anything to avoid societal scorn. Maybe he's afraid of it, or maybe he just wants to keep up his image, I'm not sure. Maybe it's both sometimes. But he has gone through great lengths to keep up a certain act, and he will continue to do so.

Again, he's not shy in a self-conscious way, but almost in an introverted way. Keeping to himself. Comfortable with himself. Honestly this brainrot came to a head when I was talking about his relationship with his dad, and I've gotta say, I would not be surprised if the relationship Vil has with his dad is the type where they can just kinda vibe together. He holds his father in high regard and clearly they have a good relationship, but Vil's dad was frequently absent (not in a bad way) and a lot of the bonding we know about has been postcards he sent on Vil's birthday, or doing their own Beanfest thing. It just….it makes me really curious about Vil and what kind of relationships he holds dear and who he is deep down where his closest relationship that he talks frequently about is one where they are often doing their own thing. I bet when they DO see each other, they catch each other up and then just sit in the same room together sometimes. (For realsies though Vil and his dad make me SO SOFT.)

Vil doesn't HAVE to be sad. He doesn't HAVE to be this sweet, innocent kid who was beaten by the film industry until he hardened his shell and became someone unrecognizable and bad. I'm just saying I think at his core there is a soft mushy sweet boy and there are reasons his exterior is so tough. (I am totally down for sadboy Vil hours though so I'm not denouncing them, I just...idk! This post is more me poking you with a stick trying to get you to imagine lowkey shy Vil).

I think taking all of this and drawing the conclusion that he MUST be sad about it and it's ALL ruined his life is a disservice to him. Like he has his ANGST. He has issues I will learn more about come Pomefiore chapter in ENG. But all of what I just wrote isn't just fodder for his trauma, it's a deep dive exploring a potential reason WHY He Is The Way That He Is. Especially considering his dad seems….nice! Idk about his mom but he seems like he's had a good home life. And he has some really sweet moments! So what!! Why are you a little fucked up Vil. (pats chaise) let me psychoanalyze you boy

Anyway the TL;DR of it all is if Vil's fate after his graduation at NRC is him making his directorial debut with an artsy black-and-white super niche arthouse film, don't say I didn't warn ya. I'll be decked out in merch sitting right in the middle with Rook and Epel 💜god i hope any of this was coherent PLEASE

[ahkaahshi]

sleeping over at their s/o’s house for the first time [scenarios]

pairings: sakusa kiyoomi; hirugami sachirou; kuroo tetsurou x fem reader

genre: fluff and humor, as per usual

warning(s): n/a

notes: kinda popped off on hirugami’s part. couldn't help myself. not sorry bout it either. can’t wait til we get to see more of his cute lil face in the anime.

he is so painfully awkward I love him

will just stand in the entryway with his duffle slung over his shoulder, staring straight at you until you tell him when he can put his stuff

this literally isn’t his first time over at your house but he acts like it???

poor baby’s obviously nervous about ~ spending the night ~

immediately washes his hands

brings his own pillow

asks if you’ve sanitized all your surfaces recently/if anyone in your household has been sick lately

does he wanna play video games? not until he’s wiped down all the controllers.

does he wanna watch real housewives? no, but you put it on anyway because you know he secretly loves the drama

does he want a snack? possibly? but refuses to eat on your bed because lying on crumbs is nasty

all he does is get under the covers and hang out

only moves to brush his teeth and, of course, wash his hands

will do a face mask with you but only after thoroughly reading the contents of the bottle/package

wears his hoodie and sweats to bed

is asleep before 10pm

2/10. total party pooper who only gets points because he’s hot and dislikes the same housewives as you do

Moments after releasing a rather loud guffaw at a funny scene from the television show you have playing on your laptop, you hear a small groan echo from beside you. Turning your head to the source of the noise brings your attention to your boyfriend, whose tall form rested on the bed beside you, ensconced in your blankets. His eyelids flutter open and his eyes the color of charcoal fasten on you before narrowing in a small glare of annoyance from underneath the sea of black waves atop his head.

Maybe you would’ve felt even the slightest bit intimidated if his face wasn’t close to being absorbed by the yellow fabric of his hoodie--and if he hadn’t flattened his hair against his forehead by closing the drawstrings to secure his hood around his head.

“Kiyo!” you whine, crossing your arms in front of you chest, “Were you really asleep just now?”

His dark eyebrows furrow as he answers matter-of-factly, “Yes. You know I go to bed at ten o’clock, (f/n). It’s ten thirty.”

You roll your (e/c) eyes at him and protest, “But this is a sleepover! Would it kill you to stay awake a little longer so you can spend some precious time with your beloved girlfriend?”

“Lack of sleep can lead to sickness. Sickness can lead to death. So, yes, staying awake longer to spend precious time with my beloved girlfriend could kill me.”

“I hate you.”

He lets out a long sigh and reaches over towards your laptop to close it, putting an end to your Real Housewives marathon. Once he’s moved it off of your bed, one of his arms snakes around your waist and pulls your body down towards the mattress. His midnight gaze doesn’t falter as he says, “If you get sick, I won’t be able to spend time with you like this, so sleep with me.”

Your heart skips a beat at his tenderly spoken words, and you crawl underneath the covers so you can place your head on his muscular chest and curl up beside him. The feeling of his warmth surrounding you is enough to make you melt into his arms and forgive him for completely ditching you in favor of sleep.

“(F/n).”

“Yes, baby?”

“If you kick me off the bed, this will be our last sleepover.”

sweet boy who is very excited to spend the night at his girlfriend’s house!!

brings snacks and movies

he enjoys doing any activity with you, whether it’s watching movies, playing video/board games, or just cuddling on the couch and talking

not hard to please at all!!!

watches rom coms with you. secretly a hopeless romantic

you’ll probably spend at least ten minutes of your night trying to catch pieces of popcorn in your mouths

and another ten doing the same thing with m&ms

poor boy is too tall to fit under your blankets, so you have to give him an extra one for his legs and feet

bedtime attire consists of boxers with corgis on them, a sweater, and crew socks to keep his tootsies warm 🥺

brings you a pair of matching, corgi-patterned sleeping shorts bc he wants to twin with you

your parents are gone, meaning you can do chaotic activities...

... like baking at 2am!!

he loves to bake (and you can’t convince me otherwise). pls bake with him

wants to stay up all night with you but ends up passing out around 3am after y'all eat all the cookies you made together

11/10, best sleepover ever

Few things were more romantic than spending an evening with your boyfriend on your hands and knees, against the cold, tile floor of the kitchen, cleaning up the aftermath of the mess you’d created.

Lifting your gaze from the white goop coating the flooring, you glance over at Hirugami, who looks completely unfazed and unbothered despite his face still being decorated with dollops of whipped cream. Beholding this sight once more sends you into another fit of laughter that makes it hard for you to keep yourself steady.

“What?” he asks, a small smile creeping onto his lips at seeing you so amused.

In between breaths, you manage to ask, “Why’ve you still got whipped cream on your face?”

With a roll of his chestnut brown eyes, he uses his fingers to swipe some of it off so he can help himself to another serving. “Obviously,” he scoffs sassily, “I’m saving it for later.” His smart comment makes you snort rather unattractively, which, in turn, causes chuckles to pour out from his mouth. “I’m assuming that’s what you’re doing too, right?”

Your (e/c) eyes widen, since you thought you’d done a good job of clearing up the results of your whipped cream battle from your face. A glance at your reflection in the glass of the oven where the cookies were slowly baking soon proved you wrong. Instead of being irritated by this discovery, however, you let out another, wheezing laugh and fell onto your side.

To any outsider, the situation would’ve looked rather strange--an incredibly tall volleyball player dressed only in corgi-patterned boxers, a sweater, and socks, face covered in whipped cream as he fell about laughing with his girlfriend who wore a similar ensemble and was sporting the same whipped cream situation. However, in your defense, it was two o’clock am, and you were high on sugar.

"Come over here and I’ll get the rest off your face, then,” Hirugami suggests, extending his long arms towards you that beckon you closer to him. After you scoot closer to him, he pulls you into his embrace and starts peppering your skin reddened from laughing so heartily with kisses. With each press of his lips against your face, your heart flutters in your chest.

He only pulls away from you when the oven beeps, alerting you that the cookies you’ve been awaiting are finally ready. But he does so with hesitation, seeing as he’d been caught up in savoring the sweet taste of your lips instead.

“You ready to eat some cookies?” he asks with a grin.

Your reply makes him snicker: “Always.”

is fully prepared to stay up the entire night (spoiler alert: doesn't)

made an entire party playlist for y'all to listen to throughout the evening

expect lots of dancing, vibing, singing, and buzzfeed unsolved episodes

brings dance dance revolution over to your house and then proceeds to challenge you to a dance off

was not prepared for what you brought to the table

tries twerking to distract you but still fails

will go on a midnight mcdonalds run with you

is the kinda person to share deep, late night thoughts with

only with him can your conversations go from discussing the questions of human existence to debating which form of potatoes is the most elite

will 100% do face masks with you to keep his complexion lookin godly

INSISTS on watching scary movies

expectation: “don’t worry, babe; I got you!!”

reality: is visibly shaking underneath the covers, questioning all the shadows in your house

wears only a pair of shorts to bed even tho it’s cold af (he runs hot, if ya know what I mean heheh)

8/10. would’ve scored the last 2 points if he hadn’t stolen the blankets and made you wonder if your house was haunted

"(F/n).”

The familiar and gentle voice of your boyfriend rouses you from your semi-conscious state, and you hear the sheets of your bed rustle.

“I’m so tired, Tetsu... what is it?” you wonder groggily, not even bothering to open your eyes to see what’s upset him.

“I think your house is haunted,” is his response. Though he speaks calmly and coherently, his hazel eyes are wide with fear and darting around the dark bedroom.

“Oh, stop. I knew it was a bad idea to watch those supernatural Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes before bed.”

The bed sinks behind you, and you feel the warmth of the blanket he’d stolen from you earlier around your body as he pulls you towards him so your back is flush against his chest. While you appreciate his closeness to you, you can tell he’s far from relaxed. The grip his fingers have around one of your shoulders is tight, as if he’s using it as a stress ball.

You murmur his name with indignation and pry his cold hand off your shoulder, but press a gentle kiss against the back of it. “Baby, go to sleep.”

He noticeably stiffens when a quiet whoosh sounds from another part of your house. “What the heck was that?” he asks from where his face is buried in the back of your neck, too afraid to look around and risk finding something he might not want to see.

“The dishwasher.”

“Y-Yeah,” he stammers, “the dishwasher... of course...” 

With a gentle groan, you lift your head so you can turn and press a gentle kiss against his forehead in an attempt to soothe him. As soon as you plop back down onto your pillow, Kuroo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, desperate to get a wink of sleep.

The sound of a creak brings both of you to attention moments later, however, and your heart begins to race.

“That was the house settling... right?” you whisper.

He pulls the blanket over both of your heads, fully cloaking your bodies beneath it and says, “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go with that.”

At this point, you realize it’s going to be a long night for reasons other than those you’d expected.

[platypanthewriter]

Fire

Harringrove April day 21, Fire.  Robin decides to move on with her life by burning her memories in a summer bonfire, but it turns out the one that moves on is Steve.

Robin lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and Steve waited.  She groaned, grabbing the pillow, and smushing it over her face.  “...she smelled like summer,” she groaned.

“Kinda like lawn clippings,” Steve agreed, wrinkling his nose, and then ducking the pillow she threw.  

“I’m over her,” Robin sighed.  “I am!  I’m over her, jesus.”

“Is that her scrunchy?” Steve asked, pointing at the suspiciously shrine-like setup with the photo of the girl in question, a gold star sticker Steve remembered her sticking on Robin’s cheek, and a stick of gum she’d passed across the ice cream counter, saying ‘look, it’s a new flavor!’.

She’d blown a bubble in Robin’s face.  Steve’s best friend had staggered watching full, bright pink lips pursed around the bubble, and then clutched the counter at the dazzling smile after. 

“I think she might be dating Tommy Hagen,” Steve muttered, both wanting Robin to know, and not wanting to be the one to tell her.  

“Auuuugh,” Robin moaned, kicking her feet.  “Why do the hot ones have such bad taste?!”

“No idea,” Steve said, huffing a sigh of his own.  

“This isn’t about you,” she hissed at him.  “Hot girls like you, so shut it.”

“I thought she liked you too,” Steve told her, holding up a ratty old Curious George toy, and making it clutch its paws over its mouth.  “She kept trying to put makeup on you.”

“Oh, is that what girls do when they’re hitting on you?” Robin muttered at him, hugging her pillow.  

“No,” Steve said, having Curious George pat reassuringly at her toe.  She yelped, and snickered.  “But, I mean, she doesn’t...maybe she didn’t know what to do.  She tried to get you to come over, I mean—”

“To look at magazines about boys, probably,” Robin mumbled into her pillow.  “God, why wasn’t I born on Themyscira?!”

“Where?” Steve asked, cocking Curious George’s head. 

“Where Wonder Woman lived.  Full of lesbians,” Robin sighed, and Steve nodded slowly.  “Anyway.  I’m over her.  Done.  What do I want with some party girl, anyway.”

Steve, who’d watched Vicki Carmichael fixing her makeup and scrunching her hair before coming in to ask for Robin, bit his lips.  

“The mall burned, and so did my fantasies,” Robin sighed.  “Let’s have a bonfire.  I’ll burn my creepy shrine,” she said, and Steve winced.  “I saw you thinkin’ it,” Robin told him, glaring.  “You can burn your lock of Nancy’s hair or whatever—”

“I don’t have a lock of her hair,” Steve said, his cheeks burning, as he remembered the notes he did have, when she’d returned a few replies to the the hundreds he’d slipped in her locker.  

“Bring Henderson,” she said.  “He can burn whatever weird shit of Max Mayfield’s he’s got ferreted away.”

Steve snorted a laugh, shaking his head.  

 When he saw Vicki Carmichael lingering around his car the next day, her brightly lipsticked mouth sucking a Tootsie Pop, he narrowed his eyes.

“Where’s Buckley?” she asked, eyeing him up and down, the way she had.  

“At home, I guess,” he told her, and she ran a bangled hand through her hair.  

Her lashes were sticking together, a little, and he wondered if she’d applied fresh mascara while she waited.  “Thought you two were stapled together at the hip,” she said, and then spun the Tootsie pop in her mouth.  “Never see one without the other.”

“We’re not dating,” Steve told her, trying to think of what a good friend would do.  “Uh.  We’re...not like that.”

“What are you like?” she asked, laughing, and Steve had no idea what that meant, so he just frowned at her.  She smiled down at her nails, shifting her heels on the concrete.  

“...she’s throwing a party,” Steve told her.  “I mean, kinda, us and a couple of friends, is all, but you should—you should come.”

Vicki went still, searching his face.

“Not—” Steve waved his hands, stepping back, and trying to figure out how to politely say ‘Don’t worry, I’m not into you!’.  “Um, you can hang with Robin, I’ll have other, uh, other friends there.”

It was the first time he’d ever seen Vicki Carmichael blush.  Her makeup hid most of it, but her ears went red, and down her neck, and Steve jerked his head to look away before he stared at her chest like a creep to see whether she was blushing there too.  

“...maybe I shouldn’t go,” she said, laughing a little unsteadily, and he realized he’d scared her.  “Just—say hello.  Or don’t,” she said, biting down on the tootsie-pop, and then muttering what sounded like a stream of fuck, fuck, fuck with her mouth full of candy shards.

“No, she, um,” Steve flailed, trying to reassure Vicki without saying anything Robin wouldn’t want shared.  “She’s been waiting for you to come in the video store.  We uh, we get movies in, and she says you’d maybe like something—”  It was sarcastic, usually, because while Robin obviously wanted to tear the buttons off Vicki’s shirt and suffocate herself in Vicki’s cleavage, she didn’t have a very high opinion of her movie taste.

It was pretty much the same movies Steve liked, so he was used to Robin rolling her eyes and saying “Figures.”

Vicki still hadn’t said anything, her eyes wide as she stared at his face again.  “I think she’d be happy to see you,” Steve told her, holding back a little smirk.  “And this is dangerous for me to say,” he said, lowering his voice, and grinning at her, “—because she’s gonna be embarrassed as hell that I told you.”

It was hot, in the parking lot of Bradley’s Big Buy, in the last lingering days of summer, watching Vicki shift, hugging herself, and Steve thought it didn’t say much good about him as a person, how scared she was of a trap.  

“Or look up her number in the student handbook,” he said, holding his hands up.  “Bring her some ice cream.  She’s been bitching about not getting it free.”  Vicki’s eyes widened at the idea, and she shook her head rapidly, her hair flouncing over her shoulders.  

Steve put his hands on his hips, thinking.  “Halloween’s coming up,” he remembered, brightening.  “Wonder Woman costume.  She’d probably forget how to breathe.”

Vicki snorted a laugh, staring at him.  “...you think she’d really want me there,” she whispered, a little mumbly, because she was still trying to chew through half a Tootsie-pop.  

“It’s the day after tomorrow,” Steve said, tasting victory.  “Friday night.  Just, like, me and her and some kids we know, you remember Dustin, he was always hanging around at Scoops.  He’ll bring a friend or two, maybe.”

“...if this is—if this is some kind of—” Vicki hissed, waving the half-chewed Tootsie-pop at him.  “If this is—” she stopped again, sniffling, and Steve waved his hands.  

“No!  No, it’s—it’s nothing weird, I promise, she just...she’d be happy,” Steve told her, grimacing.  “If you were there.”

Vicki nodded, chewing her lip, and Steve rattled around in his glove compartment for a pen and paper.  He found a pen, and wrote Robin’s address on Vicki’s hand.

 The night of the bonfire, Dustin showed up with Erica Sinclair, Will Byers, and Eleven.  They all looked solemn, and Steve wondered what kind of weird hijinks he’d let poor Vicki in for.  Everyone brightened up as they piled brush on the pile and lit it, though, and Steve got the hose—just in case—as Will got the others dancing around the fire to music, and some kinda chant.  

“Out with the old, and in with the new,” they sang, giggling, and holding hands.

Robin looked kind of depressed, watching them, and Steve stopped her from just tossing a whole box of things in the flames.  “Come on, wait until it gets going,” he said, “—you’ll put the fire out.”

She groaned, and nodded, then narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously as he leapt up at the sound of a car in the drive.  

It was the Camaro, with Max in the driver’s seat, and Billy, newly out of the hospital, pale and shaking in the passenger’s side.  “Shut up,” Max hissed, before Steve had even said anything.  “He needs to get out of the house sometime.  He was desperate enough to let me drive.”

“He looks like he needs to lie down,” Steve whispered back, as Billy sat in the car, staring forward.  

“He said he’d be fine,” she shot back, shrugging, but looking just as doubtful as Steve did, and crossing her arms.  

Billy leaned his head against the window, watching them, and Steve finally walked around to knock on the glass.  “You need help?”

“...no,” Billy snarled, looking away.  “I’m just peachy, Harrington.”

“Ugh,” Steve sighed.  “Look, I’ll go find you a chair.  Take your time.”

Billy glowered at him, and Steve wondered whether he was supposed to insist on helping, or ignore him, or what, and rolled his eyes, walking off.  

“...I think he might be stuck in there,” Max said conversationally, as they walked back over to the bonfire.  It was burning high now—taller than Steve twice over, with the fuel of a hot summer’s worth of dry branches and old paper.  Erica stuck a cedar branch in there, and the fire ran down the oily fronds like a sparkler.  The heat was too much even six feet away, and Steve soaked the ground around it again.

“Let’s do this thing,” Robin sighed, clutching her box, and Steve grimaced.  

“Uh, wait a minute, Max brought Billy, and he can’t get his weak ass out of the car,” he told her, as she raised an eyebrow at him like he was being ridiculous.  Steve wandered back out to watch for Vicki, his arms crossed.

Billy had his eyes closed, his breathing shallow, and Steve knocked on the window again.  “You alive?” he asked, wondering whether Max’s night was about to be ruined by her brother dead in the driveway.  Maybe inheriting the Camaro would be worth it.

“...’m alive,” Billy said, after taking a slow breath.  “What’s it to you, Harrington?”

“Nothing,” Steve told him, and Billy smirked.  “...Max is all right, is all, and she’ll be pissed if I let you die in the driveway—”  He cut off as another car pulled in, an aged Plymouth Roadrunner, and Vicki clambered out, struggling with three bags of groceries.  

Steve ran over and took one.  “You came!” he whispered excitedly, and she shot him a wary glare.  The bag he’d snatched had two gallons of ice cream under a six-pack of beer, and he snorted a laugh.  “You know how to make an entrance,” he told her, and she smirked faintly.  

“Gotta use everything I have, right,” she said, taking a deep breath, and Billy started laughing in the car, startling her so she nearly dropped the other two bags of ice cream.  

“I’m so sorry, I have no idea why he’s here,” Steve whispered to her, and sidled around between Billy’s car and the hedge to open his door.  Billy’d been leaning against it, and he nearly fell out, his shoulder thudding into Steve’s thigh.  “Come on, asshole,” Steve told him, crouching.  “Put an arm around me, I’ll get you in there.”

Billy glared back at him, but slowly wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders, and swung a leg out.  Steve grabbed his belt—prompting a strangled noise from Billy—and hauled him along to the gate to the backyard, while Vicki stared.  

“Thought it was gonna just be you and the kids,” Billy panted, his voice strained.  “You...planning to get lucky on your...best friend’s bed...Harrington?”

“Gross,” Steve muttered.  “How are you this heavy, jesus.”

“Why are you yanking my jeans into my colon,” Billy shot back, growling, but all three of them made it inside, and Robin dropped her box as she shot to her feet, staring at Vicki Carmichael.

“You said she’d be glad to see me,” Vicki said, slurred through her frozen smile as Robin stalked up and tried to yank Steve away somewhere, but Steve was anchored by Billy’s weight.  

“Lemme put this shithead down,” Steve told her, as poor Vicki waved a bag of ice cream, her whole body stiff.

“I brought ice cream,” she said thickly.  “S-Steve told me there was a party.”

“Steve told you,” Robin said flatly, her fingers digging bruises into Steve’s arm.  

“What’s happening,” Billy said under his breath, looking between them, and finally Robin stopped staring Steve down, and clapped her hands.  

“All right!” she shouted.  “Let’s start!”

The kids started chanting again, like the freaks of nature they were, and Steve caught Billy smiling bemusedly at Max, as they pranced around the fire, the flickering light making them look like witches, or something.  Vicki’s eyes were huge.

Steve kicked Dustin’s leg to make him get out of one of the three lawn chairs, and eased Billy into it.  His grip was nearly as tight as Robin’s, but it wasn’t hard to put his cold, shaking fingers together with his pallor, and guess that he was just trying not to fall.  

“I’ll go first!” Max said, waving a handful of paper.  “I’m gonna burn my report card so I can stop hiding it from Neil,” she said, and Billy winced, “—and these letters from my fucking dad where he says I’ll learn to like it here, and—” she swallowed hard, and then just threw the handful into the fire, and Eleven gave her a side-hug.  

Will threw a crumpled ball in, without a word, and then Eleven shoved a whole box into the middle of the flames.  

Dustin had gotten spoons, and Vicki was getting a lot of soft “Thank you!”s as the kids gathered around her grocery bags, and even Robin grabbed one of the beers, eyeing her and then Steve suspiciously.

“Those are the files on the scientists that...did this,” El said.  “To me and my mom.  I decided not to look for them.”

“Holy shit,” Dustin muttered.

“Me next,” said Erica Sinclair.  She held up a polaroid.  “Heather at the pool gave me this of the hot new lifeguard, this summer,” she said, staring directly at Billy, “—but then I found out he was possessed and drank bleach.  I can do better.”

Max stared at her, open-mouthed, but Billy cracked up, holding his chest as he wiped his eyes.  The photo melted, releasing black smoke, and Dustin and Eleven coughed.

“And then there was you two,” Erica said, putting her hands on her hips to survey Steve, and then Robin, and ripping another photo of them—in Scoops uniforms—exactly in half.  “No free ice cream?  Neither of you are my true loves.”

“Oh my god,” Billy whispered, laughing harder, and looking pained.  

“None of you deserve me,” Erica said, sighing, and she sat down again.

Steve yanked the folded notes he’d kept from Nancy, folded them tighter, and tossed them on the fire.  

“What was that?” Billy asked, frowning up at him.  “Harrington.”

“None of your damn business,” Steve sighed, hoping his blush wasn’t visible in the firelight.  He was watching poor Vicki, ignored while her ice cream offering got consumed.  Billy sighed.

“I didn’t bring anything to burn,” Vicki admitted, glaring over at Steve.  “I didn’t know it was a...fire party.”

“Yeah, how dare you bring ice cream, and not s’mores,” Robin said, around a mouth full of ice cream.  She glanced at Vicki, and then stared down into the carton, taking another huge bite.  

“You should put some of this in the freezer,” Steve prompted.  “Robin, you should show her where the freezer is.”

Robin stared at him, her cheeks full of ice cream, her expression epically betrayed.  He glanced at Vicki to see her giving him nearly the same glare, but they did finally go inside, and Steve breathed a sigh of relief watching them through the kitchen window, edging around each other, bumping elbows, and blushing.  Robin caught Vicki’s arm, saying something, and Vicki turned back, so close Robin was pinned against the counter, staring at Vicki’s face, and then her lips.  

“Shit,” Billy whispered, under his breath.  “Those bitches are gonna kiss.”

“Sssht,” Steve hissed at him, watching with a whiteknuckled hand on Billy’s shoulder.  After a pause that went on forever, as they half-listened to Dustin explaining something about his girlfriend Susie and becoming astronauts, Vicki leaned in, licking her lips.  Steve heard Billy take a shaky breath along with him as Vicki turned her head, kissing Robin firmly enough it pushed her head back, and Robin waved her hands in the air, her eyes huge.  Vicki’s eyes were closed, and her shoulders hunched, a little, when Robin just stared into space, instead of kissing her back.  

Vicki jerked away, and they could hear her heels clacking on the linoleum towards them, so Steve ran over and banged on the window.  “Robin!” he yelled against the glass.  “Wake up!  She’s leaving!”

Robin jerked, shaking her head, and then glowered out, slapping a hand over to turn off the kitchen light, so they couldn’t see what was happening anymore—but she didn’t catch Vicki, apparently, because the heel-noises clattered across the threshold and she came barrelling out, wiping her eyes.  She glared at Steve, and then stomped towards her car, and Robin came flying out after her.  

“Stop, wait,” she hissed, and the kids finally looked over.

“Put more wood on the fire,” Steve told them, spraying the ground around them, as the fire dried the sparse grass.  They yelled and scrambled out of the way, giggling, and out of the corner of his eye, he watched Robin catch Vicki’s hands, whispering to her.  

The kids started building the fire up higher—Steve took the precaution of really soaking the yard down, not wanting to burn the whole neighborhood down even in exchange for getting his best friend laid—and Robin pulled Vicki back over to where she’d been sitting, and slowly, showed her what was in the box.  Vicki covered her face, crying over her own scrunchie, her hair and jewelry glinting in the firelight.  Robin stared over at Steve, rolling her eyes with a bewildered grin.

“...you were playing wingman for a goddamn lesbian,” Billy whispered, like he couldn’t believe it.

“Shut up,” Steve hissed at him.  “Don’t tell anyone.  I’ve still got the hose.”

“You set that up,” Billy said again, and Steve squirted the hose at his lap.  Billy swore, clutching the arms of the chair, but wouldn’t stop staring at him, like he was a zoo animal, and Steve avoided him as much as he could, the rest of the night.

When the kids started to get tired—leaning on each other, their faces orange and sleepy in the firelight—Billy was squirming around, his teeth clenched, a trail of cold sweat running down his cheek.  

Steve sighed.  “You want me to get you home?” he asked, and Billy stared up at him, the same weird, blank look he’d been giving Steve ever since they’d watched Vicki and RObin kiss.  “Look, man, I can tell you’re hurting,” Steve told him, and Billy bit his lips together, swallowing.  

“...I’m fine,” he said, glancing over towards the driveway and wincing, and Steve sighed.

“...you pushed yourself too damn far, and now it’s gonna hurt getting home,” he sighed.  “Am I right?”

Billy licked his lips, and looked up again, watching Steve’s face like it was riveting, like the best new music video on MTV.

“...look,” Steve said, tiredly.  “Robin’s parents are out of town.  Lemme get you to the couch, you can lie down, okay?  I’ll take you home later.”  He said the last part loud, looking over at Robin, and she waved him on, staring into the fire, with Vicki curled up against her shoulder.  Robin shook her head slowly, and squeezed her close.

Billy watched them, then staggered as Steve grabbed his arm and hauled him up.  

 It wasn’t far, to get into Robin’s living room—and thank god it wasn’t, Steve thought, hobbling under Billy’s nearly-limp weight.  He tossed the pillows and things off the couch, lowered Billy as gently as he could onto the couch, and yanked Billy’s boots off.  Billy eased himself back with a soft groan, letting his eyes close.  

“You need a blanket?” Steve asked, and Billy started laughing again, softly, but enough so he grunted with pain, baring his teeth as a tear rolled out of his eye and around to his ear.  

“...jesus,” he whispered.  “You wanna give me a blanket?  I kicked your ass, Harrington—”

“Just don’t do it again, asshole.  Would a blanket help?” Steve asked, waving his hands in frustration.  “Is there anything I can do?  Do you have, like, something for pain?  Jesus, Hargrove.”

“...only one thing you can do,” Billy laughed.  “Come here, Harrington.”  

Steve sighed, and knelt on the floor next to him, letting Billy Hargrove grab his shirt, and pull him in close.  He wondered what the hell Billy couldn’t just say aloud, and then Billy whispered “Don’t get too pissed, Harrington,” and kissed him.

Steve sat back on his heels, his lips tingling from the warm, dry pressure of Billy Hargrove’s lips.  He understood how Robin had felt, suddenly, staring like a moron as her lady ran out the door.  “...what,” he whispered.

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Billy said, laughing again, his breath catching as he squeezed his eyes shut.  “S’nothing.”

Steve remembered touches on the basketball court, and lingering glowers in the showers at the gym.  He remembered Billy choosing to save Eleven and die, throwing his whole life in the bonfire, and Max missing him, like there’d been somebody inside Billy Hargrove worth missing.  Maybe there was, Steve thought. “Seemed like something,” he whispered back.

Billy started laughing again, tears trickling out of his eyes as he gritted his teeth, curling tighter on the couch, and Steve panicked and kissed him again, deeper this time, until Billy went soft and loose against him, his eyes wide in the flickering light from the fire.

“Ssssh,” Steve whispered, again, stroking Billy’s side, trying to avoid the bandages under his clothes.

Billy licked his lips, his eyes shiny.  “...what’d you burn, Harrington,” he whispered, and Steve bit his lips, thinking.

“...I needed to move on,” he whispered back.  “Find...something new, maybe.”  He watched Billy’s hands clench in the fabric of his shirt.  “...somebody new, maybe,” Steve breathed, and leaned in again.  Billy tasted like woodsmoke, and new beginnings.

Other Harringrove April prompts I’ve done

[365days365movies]

April 11, 2021: Tootsie (1982) (Recap)

To be clear, I like Dustin Hoffman.

I can’t exactly claim that I’ve seen him in a lot of his most iconic roles, but I’m planning on fixing that this year for sure! On my to-watch list this year and beyond is Midnight Cowboy, Kramer vs. Kramer, Stranger Than Fiction, and Marathon Man at the very least.

But that’s not to say I haven’t seen him in other iconic roles of his, of course. Fun fact: I actually tried to do this project in 2019, and it...didn’t work. But, one of the films I watched that year was one of Hoffman’s most iconic dramatic films: Rain Man.

Oh, and by the way, that movie is not about an autistic man. Or, rather, it’s not based on a man diagnosed with one of the autism spectrum disorders. Instead, he actually most likely had a genetic disorder called FG syndrome, unrelated to the spectrum disorders. Ironic, since Hoffman’s character was the pop-cultural depiction of autism that people STILL refer to quite often, and quite inaccurately. But, obviously, that’s not Hoffman’s fault, and he was good in the movie, to be fair.

I grew up with him in Hook, as the pirate captain himself (I still do his laugh sometimes, it’s weird, I know). He had an underappreciated starring role in one of my favorite guilty-pleasure films, Outbreak (I fucking love that movie, and I’m not ashamed to admit that). He was in Finding Neverland, but I just forgot about that until I looked up his filmography to write this intro. And, of course...Master Shifu.

So, yeah, I actually DO like Dustin Hoffman, despite the fact that his role in The Graduate wasn’t stellar for me. Just seemed kinda miscast, and a little too awkward to be even slightly sympathetic. Then again, he wasn’t really meant to be, so maybe Hoffman was the perfect choice. Even then, he still acted well in it.

And anyway, I watched that movie for two major reasons. One, it was on my list of films to see, and TWO: it was a lead-up to the ACTUAL Hoffman film I wanted to watch this month: Tootsie. After all, I just watched rom-com Some Like It Hot, and if you’ve looked at me schedule, you know what film is coming next. So, this one fits in my planned schedule. Why? Well...there’s a theme.

Yup. I actually picked these movies for a reason. See, here’s the thing: this is a repeated trope in comedies, and I’ve always wondered whether or not it’s...problematic. But, much to my surprise with Some Like It Hot, they actually used the situation to comment on the female experience. I mean, not necessarily really well, but they tried at the very least. And for a film from 1959, that ain’t bad!

Which isn’t to say that it’s entirely clean, of course, but it was far better than I’d expected. So, if 1959 did that OK, how did 1982 do? Let’s find out, shall we?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is an acting coach, as well as being an actor himself. However, he’s not the most successful actor, as he keeps attempting to audition for pieces, only to get refused for nebulous reasons, or refuses them when he disagrees with the director. He might want to take his own advice, for the record.

In the meantime, he works in a restaurant with Jeff Slater (Bill Murray), a playwright and roommate. That night, the night of his birthday, he spends time with an actress friend, Sandy Lester (Teri Garr), and also hits on the majority of women there that night.

As the party concludes, and various people go home, Sandy is abandoned by her date, and Michael offers to take her home. She breaks down crying, and Michael guesses that she’s upset about an upcoming audition. He gives her some coaching advice, and manages to get her to produce the correct emotion for the role. Afraid that she’ll lose it without him, he agrees to accompany her to the audition and enrage her. It’s very funny.

That morning, however, she IMMEDIATELY gets kicked out of the audition, as she wasn’t right for the part. However, when he goes to help her by speaking with an actor on the show, he finds out that the actor is off the show, and is instead getting a part that MICHAEL was supposed to get. Now enraged himself, he goes to speak with his agent, George Fields (Sydney Pollack), and the two have a tense conversation. It’s revealed that because of his difficult nature, he has a terrible reputation in acting circles, and literally nobody will hire him.

Challenge accepted.

Now dressed up as a woman named “Dorothy Michaels”, he goes back to the audition that passed on Sandy. Like her, he’s also immediately rejected by the director, Ron Carlisle (Dabney Coleman), who insists that she’s too “gentile” for the part of a hospital administrator. This causes “Dorothy” to go off, in a righteous monologue that accuses Ron for conflating power with masculinity. Which...yeah, he totally is, and DAMN, it’s a good tell-off!

Producer Rita Marshall (Doris Belack) agrees, and invites “Dorothy” to read for the part. He comes in to read, and in the process meets Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange), to whom he’s IMMEDIATELY attracted. He brushes that off, and the audition commences. From there, he gets the part, which is a regular part on a soap opera called Southwest General.

Now fully invested in the dumbest idea anybody’s ever had, “Dorothy” goes to her agent and tells him the ridiculous news, and asks for $1000 to go shopping for more clothing. Back at their apartment, Michael speaks to Jeff about the whole situation. He notes that he’s doing this to get the money for his play in Syracuse, which requires $8000 to produce.

Sandy is to be cast in this play, which is an issue, as they now need to explain where the money came from, as it’s technically from the part that SHE was refused for, which would hurt her feelings. He lies and says that the money’s from a deceased relative. While in her place, and while she’s in the shower, he decides to try on some of her clothes to get ideas for Dorothy. But when she walks in on him, he lies AGAIN and says that he’s sexually attracted to her. And she reciprocates IMMEDIATELY, which leads to an unintended relationship.

On the set, “Dorothy” finds out that he’ll be kissing John Van Horn (George Gaynes), an older actor who’s clearly a bit past his prime, and makes it a point to kiss every actress on the set when they start on the show. Gross. Michael agrees, and when the scene comes, he improvises and has his character (Emily) hit the doctor instead.

While the director (who’s a DICK, by the way) notes the improvisation, he approves of it, while also discouraging any similar actions in the future, and calling her “toots”. “Dorothy” takes it, rather than talks back. John compliments her on the improvisation, and then kisses “Dorothy” anyway, much to Michael’s shock!

We also find out that Julie, who plays a nurse on the show, is dating director Ron. Later on, though, Michael observes him making out with another actress on stage. Shortly after this, Julie invites “Dorothy” to dinner at her place, which is eagerly accepted. At dinner, we find out that Julie has a young daughter and that her relationship with Ron is...not stellar.

They have a discussion about being a woman in the ‘80s, and the complexities inherent in that concept, which is an interesting theme of this movie! Gotta say, this is a more socially-conscious version of Some Like It Hot, and I really like that! But the conversation is cut short when Michael realizes that he’d promised dinner with Sandy that night, and leaves in a hurry.

Dinner with Sandy is awkward, as Sandy is...Sandy is a lot, to be honest. But, she tells Michael that the woman hired in her stead on the soap opera (who is, of course, Michael himself), is written as a wimp, rather than tough as intended, and that she should change that. Michael agrees, and actively goes against the script to make the character of Emily far tougher. and essentially a feminist.

While this causes some grief to Ron and Rita at first, Dorothy Michaels soon becomes a massively successful and popular actress on the show, and her popularity absolutely explodes. Michael’s wrapped up in the success of Dorothy Michaels, and thinks that she might be able to branch outside of the role of the soap opera. Which is difficult, as his agent points out, because of the simple fact that Michael is...well, Michael.

At a party that his agent invites him to, Michael meets Julie AS MICHAEL. He uses a line on her that she’d mentioned before to Dorothy, only to be met with a drink to the face. Which is fair, as the line was about being honest about wanting to have sex with her, so I get it.

On the set soon afterwards, we see that the show is becoming more progressive, allowing Julie’s nurse character to stand up to John’s chief doctor character. After the scene is done, the director once again calls Dorothy “toots” instead of her real name, and Dorothy absolutely snaps back at him, and rightfully so! In response, Julie goes and invites Dorothy to a weekend in the country, on her father’s farm. Despite some rebuke from Jeff for lying to Sandy AND Julie, Michael as “Dorothy” goes on the trip.

This, by the way, is an excellent time to mention that this film is exuding some real strong, uh, vibes. You know...alphabet mafia vibes. Like, it’s definitely there, heavily leaning towards Julie. Obviously, “Dorothy” is actually the heterosexual Michael, but that’s not helping, just saying. And there’s literally (and absolutely obviously) nothing wrong with that, but it’s so strong at this point that it’s hard to ignore.

On the farm, “Dorothy” meets Les Nichols (Charles Durning), Julie’s lonely and genuinely nice father, if a bit old-fashioned in his views on gender politics. He’s also got the hots for “Dorothy”, which is funny-but-awkward as shit. That night, Julie tells “Dorothy” some very personal things about her dreams as a child, which is a genuinely very sweet scene. And can I just say, that this movie is both funny and quite heartfelt? I love it! Also, again, the vibes...THE VIBES.

Meanwhile, the popularity of “Dorothy” continues to skyrocket, to the frustration of director Ron, but to the delight of producer Rita, who decides to extend her contract with the soap opera by a full year! Oh FUCK! Realizing what the hell he’s gotten himself into, Michael calls his agent, who tells him that it was in his contract, meaning he’s basically fucked.

Jeff also tries to help hi, out of it, to no avail. Just then, though, they get a call from Julie, looking for “Dorothy”. She’s been having her doubts about her relationship with Ron, and she realizes that she’s been settling for Ron and other men like him. And Dorothy’s inspired her to be a better person, and to be honest with others and with herself. Fuckin’ OOF.

Just then, Ron arrives, allowing them some alone time, as Julie is getting ready for their night out. In the process, “Dorothy” reveals that she knows about his indiscretions with other women. Ron proceeds to use the EXACT SAME EXCUSE that Michael used to excuse his lies to Sandy, and it’s well-executed! Good job, writers, that’s pretty awesome.

“Dorothy” promises to watch Julie’s daughter for the night, which proves a bit of an issue, but he works it out. Julie returns later on, having broken up with Ron. Another heart-to-heart ensues, but this one is concluded with a revelation that Julie is lonely, despite the fact that she appreciates Dorothy’s influence and friendship. And then, "Dorothy” tries to kiss Julie. OH

Yeah, Julie’s not exactly chuffed about this as, despite a LOT of “Sappho and her friends” vibes, she doesn’t actually swing that way. “Dorothy” tries to explain, but this is interrupted by a call from Julie’s dad! He asks her out on a date that night, and “Dorothy” accepts. On said date, he FUCKIN’ PROPOSES TO HER! She promises to think about it, and takes the fuck OFF.

And to continue the parade of “Fuck me, I guess” that marching down Michael Street, who should show up at the apartment but John, from the show! Having followed her home the previous night (YIKES BUDDY), he literally serenades her outside of the apartment window, before “Dorothy” lets him in. It’s there that he reveals he’s MADLY in lust with her, and it’s HILARIOUSLY awkward. Thankfully, just as John is forcing himself on her, Jeff walks in on them, interrupting John’s actions, and causing him to leave in shame.

AND FUCKING THEN, after all of that, Sandy arrives at the apartment to find out why Michael’s not returned her phone calls. And Sandy’s a lot, sure, but all of her concerns are completely valid and legitimate. And despite Michael’s impressive ability to lie, he tells her the truth: he’s in love with another woman. Which she absolutely freaks the fuck out about, but whatever, not like Michael doesn’t deserve that.

Having had it with all the drama around Dorothy’s life, he goes to his agent and hilariously recounts to him the whole series of events that’s taken place. Still struggling to find a way to get out of the situation, he goes to work the next day, for an awkward conversation with Julie. She thanks Dorothy for inspiring her to be true to herself, which cuts DEEP, but still says that they shouldn’t spend time together anymore.

Producer Rita arrives with news: the erasure of a reel of footage has forced them to shoot a scene live. Said scene involves a party being thrown for Dorothy’s characters, putting her in the starring role. And THAT is when Michael takes his chance. Dorothy improvises a monologue about Emily’s REAL past, as a twin who tragically died before realizing her dream to become a hospital administrator. Ripping off his disguise, Michael reveals himself as Emily’s twin brother, Edward!

Everyone on stage and at home is SHOCKED, especially Les, John, Sandy, and of course, Julie. And once the cameras stop rolling, Julie now understands everything. She walks right up to Michael...AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE DICK

John asks if Jeff knows, and I break in half laughing.

Months pass. Michael was able to fund Jeff’s play in Syracuse, and goes to meet Les, who lives in the area. The two make amends after an understandably awkward reunion, and they begin the journey to become friends after everything. This prompts Michael to return to the city and speak with Julie, who is...less than happy to see him. Which, yeah, entirely fair.

But, again overcoming the initial awkwardness, Julie is able to admit that she misses her friend Dorothy. And Michael reciprocates, speaking for Dorothy, who is...well, him. He says the following great line: 

I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.

And from there...the two decide to rekindle a friendship, with Julie asking to borrow one of Michael’s dresses. And y’know...I’m rooting for those crazy kids.

That’s Tootsie! And, uh...I love it! I LOVE it. I actually think this is a great film, and one of the best I’ve seen this month. But I’ll elaborate...in the Review! See you there!

[joy1579]

im not sure if request is still open or not. if yes, then could you write about RFA&Saeran where mc smoke cigarettes frequently as a way to cope. thanks

okay so full disclosure I don’t smoke and i know exactly zero people who smoke sooo this was really hard for me. its short but i hope you still enjoy it!

Jumin

-        Not a fan. At least that’s what he says.

-        But he can’t take his eyes off your silhouette against the sunset when your smoking after a particularly stressful RFA party.

-        He leans over you, takes the cigarette from your hand and puts it out in the ash tray as he kisses you. It’s a sly trick that you don’t approve of at all.

-        But like also dang it he’s smooth and he tastes like fine wine and now you can think of one other way to relieve stress that could be very interesting

-        He wants to help you quit. He’s worried about your health.

-        Tries to get you to drink wine instead. It helps him distress and it has many health benefits.

Yoosung

-        Listen this boy chokes on thin air don’t even let him try a cigarette.

-        That being said he’s got a thing for tasting whatever flavor cigarettes you use in your kiss.

-        And he does think it make you look cool and a little sexy. He likes when his classmates ask who you are cuz he can say you’re his.

-        He gets needing an outlet to cope with stress (he has LOLOL after all) so while he worries a little about your health he won’t be overbearing about it.

-        He is entranced by your lighter or smoke tricks. He thinks they are so cool.

Saeyoung

-        The most uptight about it (you would think Jaehee but she kinda sorta thinks it looks cool)

-        He does not like it one bit. it’s easy to track and dangerous, and he’s had enough danger for one lifetime thank you very much.

-        He might hide your cigarettes to get you to quit. Or booby trap them. Or switch them for a prank box. Honestly its infuriating

-        And don’t even think about smoking in his cars because he will know he can sense it.

-        Slowly (with a few small arguments’, calm discussions, and all out screaming matches) you find a comfortable equilibrium

-        You end up smoking less (even if you don’t quit entirely) and he helps set up a small backyard area (with cameras, security and some patio furniture) for the bunker so you have a place to smoke that isn’t going to bother him or put you at risk of being just out in the open should something happen.

Zen

-        Smokes with you of course. At least at first.

-        You absolutely share the same brand (but different flavors)

-        When you take a long drag he can’t help but watch your lips. If you catch him and smirk he turns red and you won’t be able to finish your cigarette (poor boy has no self-control)

-        Also he’s got a thing about lighting your cigarette for you whether he’s showing of his lighter tricks or pulling you close so he can light your cigarette with his own he enjoys it a lot

-        All that being said if you have to quit for some reason (pregnancy, health or anything) he’ll quit with you, he is not letting you struggle with that alone.

Jaehee

-        She worries about your health a lot but after a stressful day she’ll pick you up a pack to help you distress

-        She watches you out of the corner of her eye because she doesn’t want to admit she thinks it looks really cool

-        She carries body spray and gum around so you never smell (too much) like smoke.

-        Honestly the smoke smell is the part that bugs her.

-        She may suggest groups or books to help you quit but she won’t force you

Saeran

-        Every time you get a cigarette he gets a sucker and joins you. It’s how he feels closer to you without actually smoking because he tried once and about hacked up a lung. It’s not his thing.

-        From far away you too actually look pretty bad ass. Then you get closer and oh it’s a strawberry flavored cigarettes and he’s got yeah he’s got a bubblegum tootsie pop maybe badass its quite the right word

-        He always goes outside with you when you go out to smoke. He likes the outside a lot and honestly he appreciates that you give him an excuse to step outside

-        You can see when he needs a break from people and inside and everything and he can tell when you need to step outside to smoke it’s a good system

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: camp vengeance / 11.24.20

OKAY HERE’S TODAY’S SESSION . HERE’S WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA POST BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. OKAY

(solar and jorb wanted to see my notes bc i mentioned they are Very Bad)

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS................... i didnt take any notes because i didnt have my pc and was hanging out w solar. we found a cave behind the waterfall and then i died of having a migraine. now we get to Kill!

jorb is afk waiting for his food to Arrival so im eating a tootsie roll pop and thinking about dreamout au

jorb is here! kaepora tries to distract the troll we found and Extremely Failed. sieron uses wand of wonder! it was super effective! (he hit the trolls w lightning and it was pretty pog)

throne: that was fucking sick! charlie: [dies]

charlie got talked out of fireballing it bc burning potential treasure would suck ): HOWEVER she did get to use her fiery crossbow to do some radical shit so !! Fufk Yea

thorne: [obliterates the troll] charlie: YOOO! THORNE, THAT WAS FUCKED UP! DO IT MORE!

silje's got a cursed weapon!! his cool ass sword enjoys blood, apparently. good thing he's a blood hunter! They're Made For Each Other.

charlie tried to hit the guard drake in the nads but a) it doesnt have nads and b) i missed, so. f. charlie flipped it the double bird

taure did a Very Cool Kill and then charlie set its corpse on fire as a "fuck you"

im currently suffering from the curse of constantly aying "pog" but its ok bc charlie is a halfling and theyre just Like That

charlie: YO SIERON, COOL SWORD! you're a swordboy now, right? you like swords? (god i missed playing charlie. she's very fun! she's a squeaky rowdy bastard)

leo: just guys bein dudes bein dead in a cave!

I STILL HAVE MY GIANT DOG i missed justin!! charlie brought her giant dog to arvus and i fucking love him. apparently i named him after justin mcelroy and i dont remember doing that but thats on-brand

charlie: we're the hope's guard! we brought supplies n we brought friends! ... [dabs]

anyway yeah we made it to camp vengeance! its kinda a shithole but we are in the middle of arvus's undead zone so. hopefully the supplies we picked up from the troll cave will help?

Taure Has Leukemia (she does not)

we've met Knight-Captain Ord Firebeard! taure and sieron are doing healing, charlie and silje were fucking around with cards before ord showed up and charlie had to Try And Be Professional, which is always fun. charlie temporarily being the party representative bc shes very friendly and the other 2 people are socially awkward

silje's gonna disrupt the econony ):

charlie sees taure walk up to some guards and talk to them abt "ok who needs to take watch off" but charlie cant hear what shes saying so she just sees the guards scurry off after taure looks Intimidating and is just like FUCK YEAH, TAURE!!!!

commander is Niles Ryder (thats such a cool name wtf),  there's a bunch of native arvusians that we're hanging out with and learning stuff abt! the camp vengeance guys arent really prepared for how fucked up arvus is so thats why theyre in such a bad state. we're helping out, but ryder is very much not like... not the right sort of commander for dealing with the wilderness of arvus.

meanwhile, charlie teaches silje to play go fish!

charlie: [quietly] when the fuck did i become party spokesman

entire call: uh ohhhhh, stinkyyyyy! (apparently me and penn are the only ones that dont instantly hate commander ryder On Sight which like. valid. i do want to set him on fire if he gets any more douchebaggy tho)

camp's sick because water's poisoned! specifically there's some sort of magical disease coming downriver from the aldani basin, so we need to go up there and check shit out. plus thorne & silje heard about "heaven's brazier", an eternally burning watchtower, when they took night shift.

man everybody is sick. camp vengeance blows.

WE LOST IREL. WE LOST IREL,,,,, okay good news charlie found irel. irel made a friend! speicifcally irel woke up ulfric, the head arvusian scout, and is pretending to be a normal feathered snake and not A Bastard. i am now realizing im not sure if im spelling irel's name right (irrel? yrel???) but i am Committing To This Spelling apparently

ooh, old arvusian legend abt the aldani basin! the aldani tribe angered fjolnir [? spelling???] and got turned into lobster monsters, supposedly.

Charlie Has Become Snake Parent aka charlie is the one trying to babysit irel. irel knows the definition of bastard! and also was born with endless knowledge beyond charlie's comprehension. charlie does not like this answer. i, however, adore irel

i checked fallen london and now we've named a npc "jeremy jared sonofabitch". i think. wait no i think michael found a spider. farewell jeremy jared sonofabitch

[loads crossbow] river's haunted

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working For Love: A Terrormoo Story, 2/17

...did I say Saturday? Pfft I totally meant...Saturday. I just suck XD. Next week’s will deff be on Saturday. Okay, enjoy this new part of this story!

Part one

Drabble Two

Brian was not lazy. 

Okay, he was kinda lazy. In his defense, his body didn’t show it; Brian took care of his fitness and when he needed to, he could make himself move. Being an employee at the gym made it easy to work out on his breaks or after shifts, and being a trainer allowed him to sneak in workouts when showing his clients how to use the equipment. He was nowhere near as lazy as Evan or Delirious (both of whom didn’t need to really work out, since they were so obsessed with each other they could turn into couch potatoes and still be in secretly-but-not-so-secretly-in-love). He still got a snicker out of how often Nogla complained that he looked so fit when ‘sitting on yer arse all day, playing video games’. 

But working at the gym had more perks than just getting in a good workout. 

“You’re staring again.” Evan’s dry comment made Brian shrug, though it did pull his attention from his new interest in order to look at his coworker. 

“You stare at Delirious all the time,” Brian argued, missing the times that calling out Evan’s obvious affection for their fumbling friend would cause him to blush. Instead, Evan rolled his eyes, flicking one of the Tootsie rolls on the counter at Brian’s head. 

“Yeah, but Delirious isn’t a random stranger that I one time scared out of the gym by making eye contact.” 

“Fuck you,” Brian grumbled through a flush when dropping his head back onto his palm, his elbow leaning against the front desk’s countertop. He didn’t try keeping himself from looking back at the man in question. The gym member had already been in the middle of his work-out when Brian showed up for work, meaning that he’d missed his opportunity to find out his name. Evan, being the astute employee he wasn’t, forgot the name on the scanned card. A part of him wanted to simply walk up to the cute guy and ask him, since it wouldn’t be that out of character for him. He tended to learn the regulars of the gym, and the guy had been popping in consistently for a few weeks. So it only made sense for the gym’s fitness trainer to offer a greeting and ask his name.

Except Brian was pretty positive the guy was terrified of him. 

Which was weird, since Brian had been sure that he’d given his biggest smile when catching the man watching him on the stairmaster. Not that he hadn’t noticed him before their first set of eye contact; Brian had picked him out from the moment he hopped onto the treadmill. It was hard not to look at someone as pretty as the new guy, and just like the last time Brian saw him, he only got more impressive with each minute on the exercise machine. His face bloomed with color, and the sweat lining the back of his neck proved that he was pushing his comfort zone. Brian wasn’t sure if the guy was aware that his lips moved with whatever song he was listening to, but the little quirk was cute. And the determination between gasps of breath was so striking, so strong, that Brian was held captivated by it. He’d been given genetic gold in his life, so losing and maintaining weight had never been an issue to him. Brian thought the man looked really good with warm cheeks and a curved waist (the shirt he wore tugged tighter at a long step he took, and Brian’s dirty mind wondered why he needed to wear clothes at all). But from how set he seemed to climb the preset hill routine he’d made for himself, Brian wasn’t sure he saw his own beauty. He was thrown off by how badly he wanted to change that, and he’d hoped to find a way to tell him so by becoming his friend. 

Except when the wave happened, the mystery man ran like he’d seen a ghost. It wasn’t the best start for Brian. 

“You’re doing it again.” 

“Do you think he’d want a trainer?” Brian didn’t acknowledge Evan’s observation while he tilted his head in his chin to get a better look. 

“He only uses the treadmill.”

“I could totally be his trainer.”

“Train him how to… walk? Yeah, he probably needs daily sessions for that hard task.” Evan’s sarcasm was ignored by Brian, who perked up when seeing the belt of the treadmill come to a slow stop. The tips of his lips curved up at the cute smile the man produced once completing his routine. For just a moment, there was a spark of pride. Even if it was smothered instantly by a look of embarrassment when he looked down at his sweaty arms clutching the sides of the treadmill, Brian had still seen it. And he really wanted to see it up close and personal. 

“We should make it more obvious that we offer training here. Tyler needs to stop being a cheap fuck and put out sign up sheets or a poster-”

“If he wanted a trainer, he’d ask for one.” Brian flinched when something rough dropped on his head, smushing his hair against his forehead. He didn’t need to look up to know what had just been put on him, and he swiped at the hideous hat before shaking it Tyler’s way.

“Stop trying to make me wear this thing.” 

“Stop eye-fucking Nogla’s tenant,” Tyler snarked back, rolling his eyes when Brian blinked. “And last time I checked, you don’t pay the damn bills here. It’s a part of your uniform, so stop bitching and wear it.”

“Dick.” Brian flipped the hat backwards before putting it on, knowing Tyler wouldn’t be bothered enough to complain again. Once the stupid accesory was on his head, Brian looked back to the man now wiping down the treadmill. “So Nogla knows him?” 

“Obviously. Nogla’s dumb, but knows how to run his apartment complex.” Tyler’s answer made hope swell, though Evan was quick to douse it. 

“I doubt he’ll give you anything.” Evan had hopped up to plant his butt on the counter, now joining in Brian’s observation of the man. “He can’t really disclose his personal information.”

“It’s just a name,” Brian argued, which caused Tyler to rub his eyes before pushing to stand on the other side of the desk. He crossed his arms and scowled, but Brian knew he was also watching the new member.

“Or you could, I don’t know, grow some balls and ask him his name? What’s the problem, here? You’re not the kind to be tongue-tied.” 

Before Brian could explain the previous encounter and delicacy of the current situation, a familiar gaze turned their way, momentarily stopping his brain function. The doe eyes were so dark compared to the pink of the exerted face, only adding to the warm feeling fluttering in Brian’s stomach. All motions froze in the other’s body, and the pleasant moment Brian had drifted into screeched to a halt when realizing the quick shift in the sweaty face. Anxiety and modesty seemed to fuel the rapid change of color in the other’s cheeks, the rosy pink engulfed by the red hue of embarrassment. Logically, Brian couldn’t blame him; the three men were fully focused on him without his knowledge. It was enough for even someone with the confidence level of Brian to feel a bit humbled. His fingers tingled with the desire to cup the flushed face against his palms and feel how soft the skin would be in his hold. Thoughts of doing anything cooler than staring like a dazed gazelle kept filtering through his mind, but the connection between his brain and body was nonexistent at the moment. 

Which he deeply regretted when the object of his interest nearly tripped over his own feet to scamper off the treadmill. He approached quickly, but before Brian could even open his mouth to give a friendly goodbye, the man was gone. His head was ducked down when rushing past the front desk and out the gym’s exit. And it didn’t take more than two brain cells to realize who he was running away from.  

“Well. He definitely knows who you are now.” Evan’s cheerfully cruel attempt to break the tension made Brian groan, his head slipping from his hand to crumble between his elbows still resting on the front desk.

“Maybe I need to hang up sexual harassment signs instead.” Tyler sounded far too smug in himself at the comment. Unable to lift his head from its defeated position, Brian aimed his middle finger toward Tyler before dropping his arm back down to cover the back of his head. The movement made the brim of the hat jerk unpleasantly into his skull, which caused a flurry of slurs to be muttered against the marble of the front desk. Evan and Tyler didn’t comment on the display, not that they needed to. Brian already knew how much of a dumbass he’d been.

He was sure that the man would never come back to the gym again.

Secondhand embarrassment at it’s finest! Poor Brock, my darling boy. He tries to be the best boy he can be. But Brian is just happy with him, so smitten. ^.^ Hope you’re all enjoying! Please like and reblog, and can’t wait to see you next saturday! 

[malcolmbrights-archive]

ford darling

character inspirations: matilda, #5, villanelle, a tweet i read where a girl’s mom kicks her out of the house and the girl’s friend’s mom takes her in (god i wish I could find it, it’s somewhere in my likes)

Ford Darling’s beginnings were somewhat lonely. His mother only kept him out of obligation and his father left her when he figured out she was pregnant. She didn’t treat him awful per-say, but she did treat him as though he wasn’t there most of the time. As a child, he longed for the warmth of his mother and her love. And this longing only intensified when he started preschool and he saw how loving and affectionate other mothers were when it came to their children. He tried to convince his mother to love him by attempting to impress her with grades and positive behavior but he ended up growing farther apart from her as time went on. Instead, he gained the attention of his teachers and the owner of a bookstore and bakery. 

His teachers would take care of him by paying for his lunch when his mother forgot to give him money for it, or they’d find him clothes when he grew out of them. They’d praise him whenever he came in for tutoring or during lunch to study. He appreciated this quite a lot because it was the attention he longed for from his mother but never really received.  Then, from the bakery-bookshop owner, he became friends with her son and she became something of a Miss Honey-Type for him, which ended in him visiting the bakery for free pastries - because she gave them to him - or nights where he spent the night at her place and hung out with her son. 

He basically stayed there quite a lot, and it got to the point where people saw him as her son. She never argued against these statements, which always made him feel really good. However, one day, his biological mother got a boyfriend and he didn’t like him very much. He told him to his face as much one day, and asked Ford’s mother to choose him or Ford, and his mother chose the boyfriend. Without even blinking an eye, his mother kicked him out of the house. And not knowing where else to go, he rode the bus to the bookstore-bakery owner’s house and told her the story. 

The woman, Claudia, was furious and drove over to his mother’s house and angry smacked her as soon as she opened the door, telling her that she should be lucky to have Ford as a son. Ford was shocked by this and was even more shocked when his mother said she’d give the owner guardianship over him because she just couldn’t handle him anymore and just wanted to be with her boyfriend. Ford gathered his things after that, and then he set off to live with Claudia who continued to treat him as a son - only this time she was his actual mother now. 

Ford went to private school on scholarship and knew Claudia’s son, Rory, before he began to visit her bookstore-bakery a lot for food and drink. Rory had told him about it one day made a point to tell him about how he hung out there a lot with his mom and how he could hang out with him, too. The two of them hung out a lot there and frequently played scrabble, connect four, and chess together. They formed a strong bond and might as well have been brothers before they became actual brothers. 

Ford’s been called a sassy little shit and this description of him has been stated even throughout his adulthood. He’s also very deadpan and serious, and his emotions are there but due to his upbringing, he’s somewhat lowkey about showing how he feels. He also has to keep his emotions in check since in verses where he has superpowers he’s telekentic and when his temper acts up shit floats or explodes and occasionally people get hurt. He prefers that not to happen and sees a therapist to find coping mechanisms to control his anger and upset, and so far this keeps his feelings and powers in check. It should also be noted that another power that Ford has is healing, and when he’s hurt or someone else is hurt, he can’t heal if he’s angry. Anger only manages to make things worse. In verses where he doesn’t have superpowers, he did get into fights while attending school because at his private school talked shit about him being on scholarship and because he was a bit of a teacher’s pet. He kind started to not give in after he moved in with the Darlings. 

When it comes to love his love language receiving gifts. He likes making playlists with songs that remind him of friends, family members, and romantic partners and gives them to them discreetly - usually on CD, but sometimes through Spotify. He can be playful despite being serious, so at times he’ll leave little messages through the Spotify song titles. On the subject of musis an adult, he can play guitar so he sometimes plays guitar in small bars. Usually with music that isn’t written by him and that’s written by other people. He has a good voice though and makes habit of teaching himself to get better at using his voice and playing his guitar. This originally was something he did to distract himself while in law school, but now as a criminal defense attorney, like Claudia’s wife Beth, he just does it for fun and gets a lot of joy from it. 

When he wants to get away from everyone he goes to the local aquarium. As a child, he’d sneak out of his new mother’s house and when he lived with his biological mother, her house, to go to the aquarium. He’d stay there for hours and just think about everything and nothing particular. It kept him occupied because he enjoyed watching sealife and learning the names of the fish and plants. As an adult, he’ll go to the aquarium with his tablet and go over notes for his cases while people around him chatted and communicated amongst each other. 

Knows a lot of useless facts but can’t retain information for anything super important. You ask him what people’s names mean or how licks it does take to get to the center of tootsie pop and he’ll tell yah, but when asked what he had for breakfast what he wore the day before he won’t recall the information at all. However, when it comes to the details of other people - specifically friends and family - he’ll remember everything from their favorite color to how quickly it usually takes them to eat a bowl or top ramen.

Isn’t much of a reader or writer but he loves to watch movies and can quote lines verbatim without so much as a pause. He’s been obsessed with films - specifically old Hollywood films and musicals - since he was a child and took comfort in movies like “some like it hot” , “how to marry a millionair” and “the big sleep” by watching them repetitively. They hold a special place in his heart and if he really cares for you he’ll tell you about his favorite movies and watch all of your favorites and least favorites because that’s how he thinks he’ll get to know you. He also enjoys watching Shakesphere adaptions and ballets. Was in awe of the first play and ballet he’s ever seen and as an adult will go to them for fun and just to get his mind off things. 

As a criminal defense attorney he is BRUTAL in the courtroom and takes no prisoners whatsoever. He is loyal to his client and does his job so good that people or horrified to be on the other end of the courtroom against him. He thinks it’s fun because he gets to argue for free and to /help/ somebody and it’s honestly his dream job because of that. A lot of people at the courthouse hate him though since he’s so goddamn full of himself when it comes to work and he doesn’t try to get on anyone’s good side, minus his ex-wife, who he is close to even after their divorce. 

For someone who can come off as an ego-centric asshole, he’s loyal and caring towards his friends. He doesn’t show it through words or through acts of service, but he does give gifts - like I said above - and he does listen and give great advice. He can be easy-going company with the right person and not a complete and utter jerk. People like that are rare though since he puts up that personality so people avoid that side of him and the vulnerability that comes with it. 

friendship

“talk less, smile” or “nod” more, is a very specific ford thing to do. he’s not the most chatty person in the world and is more likely to shower you with gifts than anything else -- like he’ll sing you a song or make you a playlist or an origami bird -- when it comes to meeting new acquaintances and friends. he’s a cool person to be around because he’s mello and isn’t much for starting drama unless people piss him off and start it. he’s the type of friend who will chill with you indoors, outdoors, whatever - as long as he gets some you time. he is something of a trouble-maker though, so some of his friends are probably gonna be troublemakers too. and his friends who aren’t troublemakers are probably goody-two-shoes who go to columbia law that he either tries to make troublemakers, or tries to learn from. it all depends on where he’s at and his mindset. but he is an alright friend. just not super well-behaved and he kinda is in love with himself. so i doubt he’d be friends with anyone is constantly talking shit about or judging him.

antagonistic 

ford has a temper on him when he’s pressed or when he feels like someone can’t defend themselves. he is calm for the most part, but if you call him names or egg him on by pushing him, there’s a one-hundred percent chance you are getting decked in the face. he’s also gotten into trouble at random bars and clubs for getting into fights with men who just won’t leave women alone. and when he gets into trouble for it, he doesn’t apologize because he thinks he’s doing the right thing. Which is another thing, the fact that he’s so goddamn self-assured could be something that bothered people.  Oh, and his mouth. 

[caustic-krana]

I know I’m being whiny but something that kinda bothers me about the two commissions of Val I’ve gotten so far was that both times she’s been drawn somewhat taller and skinnier. Taller isn’t a big deal but skinnier feels like it is. It’s my fault for not specifying but its just something I know now I’ll have to make sure to do in the future. I thought about it the second time but I was like “Is that a weird thing to bring up” then I was all “Is it too far along in the process to say something? I don’t want them to have to make up significant progress.” Cause I reeeally don’t wanna be a problem client. And both pieces have been absolutely gorgeous. I was still very happy with the results. This one thing is still important to me though y’know?

Also, I noticed that both times the artist used the jacket from that one drawing. I really hope I’m not making people uncomfortable by giving them a “naked” character to draw. I’ve been operating on no clothes no body parts kinda logic like the tootsie pop commercial kid. (with the exception of rule of cool/funny)

[purplesurveys]

656

Where is the last place you had a kiss? My girlfriend’s couch. I normally wouldn’t kiss her inside her house but we were alone, so it just happened. What did you eat for breakfast yesterday? I skipped breakfast yesterday and went straight to having a macchiato, which was a horrible idea considering I had a badddd hangover. My body made me pay for it soon enough when my stomach started unusually heating up, so I bought a sandwich by around lunch to help it feel better. When was the last time you were at an amusement park? 2013. I don’t like amusement parks so when my friends make plans I don’t go along with them. Two weeks ago I was at a school fair which kinda has the same amenities as an amusement park, but I guess it’s not the real thing so it doesn’t count. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? Last Wednesday. My friend Leigh was trying to demonstrate for me the concept of just-noticeable difference by pinching the skin on my hand. I don’t like feeling pain anywhere on my body, so when she started amping up her pinching I had to yell out. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Can’t relate.

Do you donate blood? Nooooo no nope. I just said I didn’t like feeling discomfort on any part of my body hahaha and getting pricked is the worst sensation for me. I wouldn’t be able to donate blood even if I wanted to either – as far as I know you have to be of a certain weight to be qualified, and I’ve never met that requirement. Are you wearing two shirts? No. It’s never too cold to be wearing two shirts here. The only time I had to really do this in a local sense was in Sagada. That weather was b r u t a l. It was the first time my dad turned on the heater in our car and I didn’t even know Filipino cars came with heaters lmaaaaaaao. This was a very long way of saying no. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Never have. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? I went as my best friend at the time, Sofie. I didn’t have time (and wasn’t as extroverted as I am now) to come up with a detailed costume, so I went as her – black dress, eyebags, winged eyeliner, and thick hair that was never combed. It had the least effort of all my friends’ costumes, but I got the most compliments on social media lol. What's your favorite morning activity? I am so not a morning person, and I just like sleeping/lying in whenever I can. Can you cook? I am hopeless in that department. Is there a lot of laundry in your hamper? No. My mom’s laundry day is Friday, so it’s basically empty the whole weekend. When do you think you'll have children? In a little less than a decade, honestly. I’m pretty firm in my decision to have kids; it’s my biggest dream if anything. I mean I’m also willing to wait until I’m in my 30s because god knows how expensive everything is rapidly getting these days, but I just know I’ll end up having kids one way or another. Can you point out constellations in the night sky? No. The only thing I can safely point out for you is Orion’s Belt, and that’s because it’s essentially a giveaway lmao. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? Nothing. It’s one of my least favorite topics. The only thing that got me to enjoy them for a brief period was the Percy Jackson series, but when I finished the books my interest in that world waned fast. Have you ever eaten a gyro? Nah, but close enough – I’ve had shawarma. What's your favorite flavor of Tootsie pops? Mmmm not really a fan of Tootsie Pops, or like candy in general. What's the last thing you bought at a mall? If I remember correctly, I got a toasted siopao in Coffee Bean. Where did your mom go to high school? She went to Colegio de Santa Rosa in Makati. What's a subject you would never major in? Philosophy. My college curriculum required me to take one Philosophy elective, and not only was it the worst experience ever, but I got my second-lowest mark in college from that class. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I hate asking for money, even from my parents. When's the last time you took a bubble bath? A little over a year ago, probs. I love bubble baths when I manage to get settled in one, but because I’m usually in a hurry when I take showers, the concept of staying and relaxing in a bathtub is a little weird to me so I never do it haha. Have you ever swam in a river? I have photos of me when I was 1, my mom, her sisters-in-law, and their kids (my cousins) swimming in some river.  Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? No. I know I could be messy, but that’s just disgusting. What food do you love the smell of while it's cooking? Curry. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? I just hate the smell of wasabi in general. Your #2--what's their occupation? Your #3--what color are their eyes? Your #1--what cartoon character would they be? Your #4--are they allergic to anything? All Myspace questions that I’m skipping, lmao. Has a bee ever stung you? No. That’s like one of my top 3 fears so I never allow myself to be near bees or wasps. If there’s any nearby I run the fuckkkkk away. Where did you last go camping? I have never been camping for real. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? Last year I had some stuff ordered by early November – but those were gifts for just my girlfriend. I bought everyone else’s gifts like a week before Christmas. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? I’m sure I have; I just don’t let it bother me because no one’s breath is supposed to smell great in the morning lmao. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? I have never had Baskin Robbins and I dunno if I will, because it’s just so expensive. Philippine suppliers looove bringing foreign brands like Shake Shack and Baskin Robbins over here and slapping insanely high prices on them just so they’re seen as high-end lmao, it’s sad. Are there fast food wrappers/cups in your car? No not at the moment. If anything there are old receipts. Do you read the newspaper? Very seldom, but given that I’m a journalism student, I encounter newspapers a lot because they’re everywhere in the college. What search engine do you use? Google. Have you ever posted a question on Yahoo questions? Nope. But the website is useful and I just look for people asking the same question I have at the moment. Have you ever been on a dating website? I made a Tinder account a few years ago just to observe it and just for fun. I never needed it but I was curious, so I joined it but I used a fake name and a photo of a cat I saw in school as my profile picture so that no one knew who it was. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? Save for CM Punk, I’ve only ever had crushes on female celebrities. What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I dunno, I’ve never felt interested in growing flowers...or a garden, in general. Would you rather have a flat tire or overheated car? Flat tire. As far as I know that can be fixed a little more easily than a completely overheated car. What's the safest form of transportation? Private car, lmao. That’s really your safest bet in this country. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? They can be taught about it so they’re aware of what it means and asks of them, but kids should also be reminded that at the end of the day it’s an option that they can choose to take or not. When's the next time you'll go to the grocery store? I only ever go when my dad is home because he likes having us along, so maybe in a month or two. When's the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Never. What's your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? Mozzarella sticks. Do you like black licorice? It’s decent, at best. I won’t spit it out, but it’s not my first candy of choice either. Can you count to 100 in another language? Two, Filipino and Spanish. We use Spanish when referring to currency, so that’s why it’s easy to memorize. Like I’d say I have labing-limang (fifteen in Filipino) notebooks, but when I have to say fifteen pesos, we say it as kinse (fifteen in Spanish). Idk, it’s a weird quirk with Filipinos but yeah. What's the nearest thing to you that can bounce? I don’t think there is anything bouncy in the living room at the moment. Do you hate cleaning? If I have to do it I get lazy. But when I actually want to clean, it can be relaxing. Do you clear dishes in the garbage disposal or in the garbage can? My mom takes out the garbage. Do you watch anything on the E! network? I don’t think our cable comes with E! so the only times I get to encounter it is when we’re staying over at hotels. I like having Keeping Up With the Kardashians on when we do have that channel. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? I loved the show during its peak days, but I never had the desire to join it. Where's your car keys? Upstairs, on my bedside drawer. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? From my high school ball, yes. I still have my old gown, photos with Mike, the instrument he used to ask me to ball (a Starbucks cup with the proposal written on it by the barista), and my old corsage. I like keeping stuff like that around so that I don’t forget, not because I still like him lmao. My prom could fuck off, and I have nothing from that night. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have no idea. My high school prom dress disappeared after a while, but I still have my ball gown. The last person you laid in bed with said... I don’t know what you’re referring to but our last conversation was her telling me to drive home safe. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I can’t. Which celebrities would you want to hang out with at a bbq? The Friends cast. Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? I have never seen the movie. What are you doing on Superbowl Sunday? Isn’t it over already? I saw my aunts and uncles post about it on Facebook so I’m pretty sure it’s over. Anyway, I don’t care for football. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? No. Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Not really. The most ‘rebellious’ thing that ever happened was at my One Direction concert. The organizers made the stupid decision of holding the show on FLAT concert grounds and not a stadium, for a concert that probably held 10,000-20,000 people. Can you imagine holding that on just the GROUND??? Anyway, my sister and I had the third best tickets which was supposed to bring us to the semi-front, but it turned out to be so far from the stage. Everyone from my section all the way to the back resorted to standing up on the monobloc chairs which really isn’t allowed, but duh it’s One Direction and we wanted to see them. Harry had to call us out and ask us to get down from the chairs and just stand on the ground for our safety, but we kept protesting until they just gave up and continued the show. What's the last thing you watched on tv? Titanic, but we watched it on Netflix. I haven’t seen cable TV in a whiiiiiiile.

Whose show should be cancelled? 13 Reasons Why. Do you like Lindsay Lohan as a blonde? It doesn’t bother me. When's the last time you ate fruit? Last Friday I tried some of Laurice’s green mango with bagoong. Can you jump rope double dutch? Nope. I know jump rope but I never went that far.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 8 Worst Christmas Episodes

Happy Holidays everybody! If your wondering where i’ve been.. i’ve been a combination of swamped with holiday activity, and just plain activity, and procastinating on getting content out for this blog.. but i’m kicking myself to actually get in gear. And I can’t think of a better reason than the holidays.  I love this time of year, while it can be physically and financially exhausting, people can act like rabid wildebeasts in stores, and there’s no end of jackasses who refuse to accept that Christmas isn’t the only holiday in town and that it’s perfectly fine if people want to you know, celebrate something else. But beneath it all is heart: giving gifts to people you love out of the kindness of your heart, beautiful decorations put up with care and holiday warmth, people freezing their asses off for charity everywhere.. there’s a lot of good done and a lot of good underneath.  And part of that good is Christmas Episodes. I do love me a good holiday episode and there’s been plenty of great Christmas epsidoes with a few Hannkuah and Kwanza ones thrown in. But for the mountain of presents of episodes, that we will get to, there’s also a small pile of cole that’s become sentient and stalks me every holiday season.. my meataphor may of gotten off track but the point is out of the VAST majority of good to decent holiday episdoeds there’s a handful I just.. flat out hate. ones that either miss the point, are unecessarily cruel and not nearly funny enough about it, or ones that are simply bad episodes of their show that happen to be christmasy. SO let us unwrap the pauly shore of christmas gifts, these are my 8 most hated christmas episodes.. and this is just episodes of ongoing shows, not specials (Though the episode being longer than usual is fine). Otherwise number one would be that time Chewy’s family killed time while his wife’s dad masturbated. As for why 8, my lists on this blog will vary based on need and I could only find 8 I TRULY loathed.. I didn’t want to pad the bottom of the list with mediocre episodes... only the cream of the crap and my christmas fury here. Now that’s out of the way, let’s ho ho go.  P.S. No the brooklyn nine nine episode is not on the list, I just love tha timage and felt it fit. 

8. The Finster Who Stole Christmas (All Grown Up)  This is by far the tamest on the list. I don’t hate All Grown Up. It is a confused shows (with early middle schoolers acting like high schoolers and what not), but it’s just medicore at worst outside of a few episodes. This one though.. is just bleh.  Chucky\ finds a tree on the street that’s perfect, wanting to have a memorable christmas for once. HE takes it home, thinking it’s abandoned, and it’s instead thought to be stolen and we spend a whole epsidoe watching a fucking 12 year old slowly be consumed by guilt.. I hate these kinds of plots. it’s one thing if the character genuinely fucked up or you mine some humor out of it, but it’s a nother when a character genuinely made a mistake and is instead internally tourtured. All the kid wanted was a tree.. he was kind of an idiot but the amount of vitrol over someone TAKING A TREE OFF THE STREET THA TWAS UNMARKED AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE INSIDE. is baffling.

7. Merry Christmas Mordecai (Regular Show) I do like Regular Show. While i’ve latched on to other shows far more, I still enjoyed the show and was a huge fan of it for some time.. this is the episode that killed that. The reason it’s lower is as an episode, it’s only the last two minutes or so that’s truly terrible, but GOD I hate this episode with every fiber of my being.. .the arc would get MUCH worse, but this did kick it off and turn me off the show for some time, though I did come back by the final season so there’s that.  The plot is simple: Mordecai is nervous because his ex Margret will be at the same party he’ll be with his new girlfriend CJ. Things go fine, it’s awkard but whatever.. and then he has a flashback.. and KISSES HIS EX , PASSOINATLEY AS SEEN ABOVE, in FRONT of his new girlfriend. The hero of our show, who was kinda shitty early on but that was ironed out by this point, cheated... and ruined a relationship I happened to really like. The problems of this arc are deep, vast and will require their own article some day, but yeah.. this one scene ruins the episode and set off one of the worst romantic plot tumors i’ve seen in a show and is so nonesnical , yes I get getting swept up in old emotions but you still cheated dum dum, I can’t help but put the whole episode here. It’s like a tootsie pop but the center is somehow full of bees: sure you enjoyed it but the amount of beestings in your mouth will make you hate the experince anyway. That said I will leave this clusterfuck on this blessed image because fuck if it can take it away from me. 

Thank god they didn’t ruin these two for me. 

6. Doug’s Christmas Story (Doug (Nickleodeon Run)

Only 90′s kids will rue the day this episode was born. Doug was mostly a bland and forgetable show.. but this episode is just unspeakably depressing. The premise is Doug’s dog, porkchop, saves local rich kid Bebe from thin ice, she thought he bit him.. and doug’s dog gets put on trial and SENTENCED TO DEATH AT THE POUND. Despite the fact the thin ice sign is clearly there, and this is a GROSS over reaction to a leg injury that wasn’t even caused by the biting. Porkchop knocked her down he didn’t tear off her leg or something.. the ep is lower because it IS well voice acted, but good acting only makes it that much more heartwrenching and makes me question WHY THIS for the christmas story. It’s not a TERRIBLE idea for a story, but for an episode your going to play every year ,epseically for a young network such as nick who only had three shows to start and thus would need this in rotation for some time, WHY would anyone think “Dog gets sentenced to murder for doing something good” , even if it turns around in the ending, is something people would want to SEE every year. Just a poorly written tear jerker that , while thankfully far away from my own nieces where it can’t scar them for life, will likely never leave my memory. 

5. Stump Day (Star vs the Forces of Evil) Oh god this one.. while the top 4 are far worse, this one is still ungodly aggravating. It DOES have a good joke at the begining.  Kid: Uncle River can you tell us the story of stump day? River: (Jovially) Ha ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do! (Tells story anyway) But after that... ti’s the story of Marco throwing Star a birthday party on Stump Day, Mewni’s christmas. As someone who has a birthday near a holiday, if not on one, I do sympathize. All your present days and celebration are crammed into one tight period. Marco means well and gathers all her friends, and her boyfriend tom.. and star flips out not wanting to piss off the stump. So far no bad... Marco meant well but didn’t know how much she cared, Even though Tom warned him I do get star being unpredictable and thus taking the shot anyway.. then he INSISITS on having the party anyway, and has the fucking BALLS to call tom a bad boyfriend when tom eventually calls him out on wanting to keep it going. Especially since Marco COULD’VE just made it into a holiday party to make her happy without sending everyone home. But no he had to be a selfish, entitled dick weed. While tom DOES lunge at marco after Marco calls him a bad boyfriend, Marco again went FAR out of linea nd insulted his own friend because he’s jealous Tom’s with star, and he’s not. ANd then a stump attacks... and then TOM’S forced to apologize. For attacking marco, yeaht hat’s fair but for being a bad boyfriend? No... Marco was the dick and he basically wins anyway despite agian, a simple solution being right there. Let’s move on. 

4. Road to the North Pole (Family Guy) Oh boy this one.. this was at the tale end of my watching Family Guy, before “Quagmire’s Dad” out and out pissed me off enough to finally leave, being you know a transphobic mess i’ll defintley talk about in the future, but this was close: An uncomfortable, unfunny christmas special that starts with Quagmire being overly hostile to Brian for a mistake he couldn’t have possibly known about and continues into a trip to the North Pole where the elves have become deformed due to industralization and Santa is deathly ill and Stewie and Brian have to convince people to ask for less to save him.  The IDEA here is not bad, and after this and the doug entries I want to make something clear: dark, twisted, messed up... these are not bad things for a christmas special to be. Futrama’s two christmas episodes , and to a lesser extent it’s one holdiay episode, are really funny and this trinity’s going to war from the movie is a holiday staple to me. 

See that’s some good all inclusive holiday hilarity that’s patently messed up.. and a emotinal holiday story with some dark themes? also works... King of the HIll had a whole episode where bill was sucidial before taking on the persona of his ex wife that was damn good, having some humor while still having a fairly depressing story with a solid emotional core. You CAN be dark , subversive.. but you have to have a point. Doug was bad because it leaned too far into the misery and that’s what ultimatley hobbles this episode too. You have to have SOMETHING to make people invested besides holding a gun to their dog’s head or KILLING SANTA.  This ep has a godo concept, santa having to industralize to keep up and slowly growing exausted or sick from it.. it’s not bad at all.. but the ep takes it too far and dosen’t have enough emotion to it to brign us back from the brink. It’s especially galling since family guy had DONE a christmas episode in it’s earlier, better seasons, that was far better than this, so while I don’t fault them for wanting to do a second one I DO fault them for doing it so poorly and wasting a potetinally tearjerking and well done concept on a crappy meanspirited wasted hour of my life.. because oh yes, this was an hourlong special. Ho ho hum. 

3. Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (The Simpsons) This one MEANS well but just ends up misrable. The premise isnt’ TERRIBLE: Bart burns down the christmas decorations, fakes a robbery and then feels really guilty as the family is helped by those around them. The issue is when Bart is found out, while his family is furious the town ALL shuns the simpsons with pure hatred, and later robs their house and leaves them with nothing. It’s not an episode i have TONS to say on like those above and bellow, it’s just miserable... and like I ranted about before black comedy can work but this took it too far: most of the simpsons did nothing wrong and bart was throughly punished with his heavy amount of guilt. The show already did “Bart feel sbad after doing something awful at christmas time” FAR BETTER in “Marge not be proud” which, while one I don’t really watch because it is hard to watch at times, is still excellent and Is hard to watch for the RIGHT reasons instead of just being mean spirited. Now from mean spirited to .. I dont’ even know with this one.

2.. Mrs. Wakefield (King of the HIll) What a shock, ANOTHER show I really like that had a terrible episode. No really most of these shows I liked at some point. That includes the top 2, King of the Hill, especially towards the end, had some really bad ones, and a really REALLY weird one that played out like a psyological horror film and ended with a mentally damaged man turned into sausage, yes really, and this one is no exception.  Mrs. Wakefield is the story of an old woman who grew up in the hills house.. and wants to die there...  just stay until she dies. I get being lonely during the holidays, which is the given reason why she’s really doing this she’s cripplilngly alone: being alone sucks. I know this, I understand this.. but it still dosen’t mean you can die in someone’s house. That’s a traumatlizing pile of stuff your foisting on people you barely know and Hank keeps getting vialnized for throwing her out by the neighbors.. for NOT WANTING SOMEONE TO DIE IN HIS HOUSE. And later it gets to the point where she’s playing hider in the house and hiding in there trying to die.. what COULD be kinda funny in a twisted way just ends up being creepy. And again this episode had what was essentially a horror story about Luann marrying an older man who slowly moldeed her into the mascot for his company, chased her and peggy around in a pig mask, then got cured of his psychosis just in time to end up as sausage. And yes that was a real thing that happened. They probably shouldn’t do horror but they can do it but here it’s just dumb. Also for those curious while I haven’t seen it hider in the house is a film i’ve heard of about a man who lives in the walls of a house and stalks the suburban family that moves in to no one’s shock, it stars gary busey. I would also not be suprised if that was his life right now. But busey aside, this episode is terrible and like family guy after it and simpsons before it, King of The Hil lhad several stellar holiday episodes and as I mentioned made suicide and devloping a split personality into comedy while still keeping the drama so this.. this is inexcusable. Speaking of inexusable

1. A Robot for All Seasons (My Life as a Teenage Robot) Oh my aching head this one.... yeah this one somehow COMBINES problems from above with it’s own bundle. It has the tonal issues most of these have, being far too bleak without any real effort to back it up.. but it also makes the ENTIRE CAST into dickheads Minus our hero and her semi-stalker Sheldon.  The basic premise is Jenny, our teenage robot, gets kidnapped and taken over by a miserable boy who has her ruin christmas and every other holiday and then wake up with no memory of her being BRAINSWAHSED into it. The IDEA isn’t bad... it’s a dark cirumstnace but it’s a good premise for a half hour special and would have her on the run with her friends trying to help her after beliving she couldn’t do it right? Well... as I said, ENTIRE CAST: Brad, Tuck, HER OWN FUCKING MOTHER all apparently belivie jenny just snapped and did this all on her own, despite you know mountains of super villians. No one came looking for her, no one thought she was acting weird, no one cared. her mother is outright working on the next model.. it’d be okay if they were supsicious or if they wondered why or if ANY OF THEM besides sheldon had looked for her or done anything or if the bad guy had had her act like this was her idea.. but no she just acts massively out of character by ruining lives for a full year, and no one is suspcious and by the end all is forgiven for both the antagnoist and the assholes, even though the assholes all abandoned their best friend/daughter instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong and the angagonist, kid or no kid STOLE A YEAR OF JENNY’S LIFE AND NEARLY RUINED THE REST OF IT. And I know she’s a robot, she is immortal etc.. but she wants to be normal. she lost a year of high school, a year of friends and nearly lost everything.. and yet is just supposed to FORGET that? or that again everyone around her minus her stalker gave up on her? Fuck that, fuck this and... have a happy holidays.  The holidays are more than this pile of garbage and I will be back sometime before the 25th to celebrate the best rather than the worst, to spread joy rather than headaches.. but I do hope if you had to endure any of these that this helped you like it helped me. Have a wonderful holiday time and i’ll see you soon. 

[evilkitten3]

Hello~ how about #51 to #60 ? xD I know it's a lot to answer and honestly if I could I would have ask for all of them..😊

well all of them would be a lot lol but this is a decent amount for one ask! at least, since i’m not on mobile right now XD

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes, but i’m trying not to be. stigma against insects and arachnids has had negative affects on the environment, and quite frankly, they aren’t nearly as scary as we’ve convinced ourselves. i love tarantulas, though.

52. Favorite food?

PASTA!!!!!!!

53. Favorite foreign food?

uh... pasta still? or sushi i guess. idk

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

honestly it depends. both on the situation and how one defines messy. if i know where my shit is, i’m good (note: i do not always know the location of aforementioned shit)

55. Most used phrase?

probably “do your dishes” nowadays... i feel old...

56. Most used word?

i assume you mean aside from pronouns and determiners and such. probably “fuck”. possibly also “oops”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends. i wake up at 6:30 so i can give myself the time i might need. sometimes i’m ready to leave in five minutes and have a couple hours to kill, and sometimes i still end up rushing.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

yes and no. i do like to talk about how awesome i am, but that’s partly because i have pretty low self-esteem and radical self-acceptance/love has proven to be an excellent coping mechanism for that.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i don’t eat lollipops that often. i got a dum-dum back around halloween that i still haven’t eaten... i typically just kinda wait for ‘em to begone, unless they’re tootsie pops. then i want the tootsie.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

hell yeah! all the time. i try to do it privately though

[darkredehmption]

Remember

#SL #Part4 

#Remember

Starter for @DamagedBrother

-----

Hadrian:

There was no such thing as time. 

Even as the day dawned, as Amos surrendered to the press of daylight and became a pretty corpse on the bed, I was oblivious. 

Curled in the corner, I knew only the horror of my memories, my nightmares, as they ate away at me. I cried for the ones I killed, over and over again, until I had no tears left. I struggled against my Beasts until I had no strength left, and they devoured my limp carcass, one by one. I existed in terror and darkness. But time did not.

I had no idea when that changed, either. Not until Amos was once again standing over me, a condescending smile on his face as he looked me over, head to toe. I smelt like ruined meat. I could taste blood again. My own. And it was caked under my nails, smeared against the wall, the wood floor. I trembled as I dropped my gaze from his.

“That’s better,” he whispered, placing one hand on my head. I flinched but didn’t pull away, my breath catching as he toyed with a few strands of hair. “Come, Hadrianus. You will eat. You will drink. And you will call your leopard vampire to meet me.”

Zsadist.

Thoughts of the vampire came with fresh fears now. I’d seen him die, so many times. I’d held his bloody heart in clawed hands as my wolf feasted on it; stood over his cooling body as my Beasts roared their approval and every human part of me died. I /ached/ at the thought of him, at the thought those night terrors could become a reality with Amos. 

But I still got up. 

On shaky limbs I got off the floor, ignoring the rusted streaks of red, and padded after him as he opened the door. The day had come and gone, night a glittering jewel of street lights beyond the window as he calmly moved to where I’d left my phone. Picking it up, he tossed it to me.

“Call.”

I looked down at the screen, misery swallowing me in far greater mouthfuls than even the nightmares of my Beasts. Finding Z’s name with shaking fingers, I hit dial. Looking up, Amos gave a beatific smile as he moved to the kitchen and proceeded to potter through it, taking out ingredients to make… who the fuck knew what. I just knew I’d be the one eating it, so he could know the taste once more.

As the cell dialled, I half prayed Z wouldn’t answer. Maybe he was on rotation. Maybe he was busy. I didn’t care what it was; I just knew I didn’t want what came after this.

I didn’t want Amos to meet Zsadist.

Zsadist:

[Sighing heavily as I eyed Phury.] What the fuck is he doing? We need to head out. [Watching as Vishous lights another hand rolled as we all stand huddled in the foyer. My twin pushes his long locks out of his face then shrugs. “I don’t know but I can give you one good guess.” 

Watching as Rhage came down the grand staircase with a hint of sex in the air. No wonder why he and Mary left early from first meal. Fuck if I knew we could have time for some action I would of played with my angel. Ever since the other night when we talked about our feelings I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. Which was big for me. Talking about how I felt was not my forte at all. Though somehow the angel made it all so easy for me. I missed that fucker. Wish he could be by my side fighting, but we both knew that was a bad idea. Snorting as I look up at the blue eyed wonder.] 

You ready or we going without you? ‘Cause we have a lot to check out tonight. Vishous has a location he wants us to scope out. 

[Rhage couldn’t help but smile as he smoothed down his clothes that were slightly wrinkled and out of place. Obvious that he just rushed to put them back on. “Oh I’m ready.” He says as he tucks in his shirt. I roll my eyes, hiding a smirk.] Great. 

[Just as we were about to start heading out I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. Grabbing the device as I hold up a hand to Butch who was already reaching for the door. The Brothers freeze and stare at me with brows raised as I answer the call.] 

Hello? Hadrian? Sup, man?

[My brows draw in slightly as I noticed how heavy he was breathing on the other line. Hoping that he was just working out or having a good time like Rhage was a moment ago.] 

Hadrian:

I closed my eyes as dread, guilt, and any number of miserable emotions punched through me at the sound of Z’s voice. My chest tightened, until I was positive I wouldn’t be able to breathe long enough to make the call, to do what I’d been ordered to do. 

“Zsadist…”

Opening my eyes only revealed Amos watching me from across the kitchen counter. Ingredients were laid out, a cutting board with a blade gleaming in the light catching my eye. When I hesitated, he picked up the knife with care and sliced down into an onion, systematically reducing it to fragments rather than a whole. 

“I need to see you.”

The words slipped out effortlessly as I felt Amos’ fear slither over me, around me. Coupled with the knife doing its thing on the cutting board, and it was a miracle my fucking knees didn’t knock.

“It’s important. Really important. It has to be tonight. That warehouse where we first met properly? It should be there.”

The Brothers owned that warehouse. Meeting him there gave ‘them’ an advantage. But Amos couldn’t know that. Couldn’t suspect. I kept my thoughts about Z, about my guilt at this betrayal, my fear Amos would hurt him. Neither of which I had to force, or fake. 

“Can… can you meet me there? Please?”

Zsadist:

[Something wasn’t right. I felt it deep in the pit of my stomach. The way he talked. The way he stressed so much that he needed to see me and at the warehouse. Now I could just be blowing this out of proportion but I truly believed something was wrong. My body tightened up. Brows drawing in as I started to pace a bit in the foyer of the mansion.] 

Uh...I was just about to head out to fight. [Scrubs my hand over my skull trim a few times. My golden eyes flickered up to watch the others looking at me. Phury looked concerned. Vishous was mumbling that we needed to leave. Butch kept giving me a “What the fuck is up” kinda look. While Rhage was unwrapping his third tootsie pop and probably wishing he stayed up with Mary longer. Waving them off as I continued to pace around.] 

I mean...I guess I could come meet you. Unless it can wait till after. I gotta fight...What’s going on?

[Pausing as I stared at one of the paintings hanging on the wall. My mind wanders as I thought about the shifter. I mean, what the hell could be going on that he so urgently had to see me? Fuck. Malachi was not going to be happy about this at all. Not one bit. Sighing heavily as I pressed a hand against the wall and waited for his response. Hoping that my Brothers wouldn’t just leave without me.]

Hadrian:

I almost broke the phone in my hand. Panic surged through me at the idea of waiting, of giving Amos more time to stew and decide the male was too big a threat to let live at all. 

“It can’t wait.”

Amos made an encouraging gesture, that happened to include him waving the knife. 

“Please Z. It has to be tonight.” 

As Amos selected another ingredient to dice, I lowered my voice. My heart raced with fear, but beneath that was the conviction I couldn’t let Z walk into this. It wasn’t supposed to be his fight. This, Amos, was my demon. And I couldn’t watch it destroy the only friend I’d made in years. 

“Z… I need you to remember all the things I told you. About me. About my world. Why I run. Why I hide.”

Amos lifted his head slowly. The aura of fear he carried with him blanketed the room. I felt like something was clawing at my throat, trying to keep me from breathing, as I struggled to get the rest out.

“I need you to remember,” I whispered. “And I need you to be careful. Please come. Please...”

Amos /moved/. I hit ‘end call’ just as the vampire hit me like a train.

Zsadist:

[I blinked as the call ended. That was...strange. Something was definitely not right. What did he want me to remember? Scrubbing a hand over my nape as I lower the phone. Staring at the device in front of me as my brows draw in. His words ringing in my head. “Why I run. Why I hide.” My golden eyes go wide and before I knew what I was doing I blurt out.] 

I gotta go. [All the Brothers snap their heads up to look at me. I hear someone call out “Go? Go where?” Shaking my head as I try not to lose it in front of them. If what Hadrian was telling me was that there was a vampire here trying to claim him then he really needed my help. Fuck. What if it already did happen? No...he wouldn’t of been calling me if that was the case, right? Shit. Turning around to face my Brothers. Each one of them eyed me with a confused look.]

Hadrian...is in trouble. And I gotta go help him. [Vishous puts out his hand rolled on the heel of his shitkicker before nodding at Rhage. “Go get Tohr. Tell him we need him tonight.” Hollywood nods before running back up the stairs. Turning my attention to the others who still were staring. Phury steps forward. “What’s the matter with Hadrian? What happened?” Shaking my head as I tried not to think about the other vampires that could be capturing him right now.] 

I’m not...certain but he could be in trouble with those other vampires. [Phury’s eyes go wide and Cop sighs. “Damn Z, maybe you should go with someone…” I wave a hand.] I don’t want you guys pulling someone else from rotation. It’s fine. I can call if I need backup. 

[I thought about asking the angel but after our last conversation on the shifter I didn’t know if that was such a great idea. Then again he knew all about these other vampires and I did not. Hell just cause he hinted about them on the phone doesn’t mean that they have him captured. I mean he could of just spotted one in town.] 

Mal:

“I’ll go with him.”

This life was not without its surprises and irony. When I’d kissed Z goodbye only minutes earlier, it had never occurred to me that I might need to suit up myself tonight. Yet as I’d felt the tension rising, felt the energy signatures of every male lingering in the marble entrance, I’d found my feet drawn to the staircase, listening as it was revealed the shifter was in trouble. The same shifter we’d spoken of only days before.

See? Surprise and irony.

As the Brothers all glanced upward, several trying to hide their surprise that I could glide in without being noticed (had to be an angel thing), I looked to Zsadist. Already I could see the concern, the anxiety for his friend eating away at him. If this had anything to do with vampires of another breed, then he would need me. They all would.

Looking to Butch, I cocked a brow.

“I have the most experience dealing with other creatures and species.” And by ‘dealing with’ I meant killing. Obviously. “I can provide back up and an extra set of eyes incase anything is amiss.”

All I needed was a minute to grab my leather jacket and duck out to the mustang - inside her was every kind of trick and trinket I’d need to face the other breed of vampire. I looked to Zsadist.

“Meet me at my car in one minute?”

Because I’d need to arm Zsadist too. There was no way I was letting him walk blindly into this, even if his friend was in trouble. My sympathy, if there was any, would never extend to letting ‘my’ vampire get hurt.

Zsadist:

[When I heard the angel’s voice I cursed under my breath. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with him. I did. Fuck, I never wanted to leave his side. But just the other day we argued about said shifter. Malachi made it very clear that he did not like or trust Hadrian. So him coming along to this meetup could be very bad. I couldn’t get the image of the angel taking a swing at the shifter, once he opened his smart mouth, out of my head. Fuck. 

But I don’t say anything. Just nods and waits for him to scurry back upstairs. My Brothers all give me a look then I hear someone mutter. “Be safe.” Waving them off as they exit the mansion. Scrubbing both of my hands over my scarred face with a low groan. I only hoped that Hadrian wasn’t in trouble. That maybe he only had some important information to tell me, and everyone would get along. Yeah right. 

Dematerializing to the garage. Giving myself a moment before the angel showed up. As I make my way over to his car, I can’t help but think about the shifter. Pulling out my phone to double check if I had any new messages. Nothing. Great. I felt my stomach flip. I had a bad feeling about this. Something was not right. The male sounded not like himself on the phone. Either he saw a vampire in the city or one had taken him. And I had to pray to the Scribe Virgin that it wasn’t the last one. 

Lifting my head as I watch my male enter the garage. I couldn’t help but give a small grin as I saw him. He instantly calmed me. And hey, maybe it was a good idea that he was coming with me. It could help keep me somewhat relaxed. Once he got close to me, I grabbed him, and leaned in for a passionate kiss. Taking a small moment to savor the taste of him before pulling back. My golden eyes searched his own.]

Thanks for coming with me. I know...you don’t know him nor are a fan, but still you are here. So for that, thank you. [Steals one last kiss before I turn to get into the car.] 

Mal:

The kiss was a surprise, my body going still for a moment as my brain switched from ‘hunter’ mode to ‘lover’ mode. When he pulled back, I blinked, feeling my mustang at my back and the warmth of him at my front. His words earned a rueful grin, and I nipped his lip for that last kiss before moving to the drivers side and sliding in.

“You sounded genuinely worried, so I figure something’s up. I know more about Were-animals than the Brotherhood, and more about your rival vampires,” I add, glancing over at him as I started the car. “It makes sense that I come with you, regardless of who we’re going to help. As far as I’m concerned?” I backed out of the garage, turned the car around, and accelerated down the driveway. “I’m going to help you. That’s it. So whatever you need? I’m there,” I murmur.

Mhis surged around us, but I was used to it now as I hit the gas and surged down the road until we were out on the highway and racing toward the city. The mustang galloped and I let it, wishing we weren’t driving into a job. I’d rather take Zsadist driving in my baby for a leisure drive, somewhere private maybe, but I also couldn’t let him go alone.

If there was something wrong with this shifter, then he was going to need help, and a set of wheels. So mustang and I were along for the ride. Whether I was thrilled about it or not…