#now i just need to figure out a way to not be completely distracted during dinner
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Yeah ok horny time. Time to pull out my favorite picture of him ever
😳 I think my dick exploded with how fast I got a boaner. holy fuck dude he has no right. that tongue should be on my cock etc etc 🥵🥵🥵🥵
#apologies if this makes anyone uncomfortable#PLEASE lmk if it does i can tone it down#anyway disclaimer over#thank you so much jed <3#now i just need to figure out a way to not be completely distracted during dinner#not tagging this with the kä tag mutuals who have it blocked sorry#jed my beloved <3#hornyposting
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movie night | s.c. ft b.c.
summary: after a rough day all you wanted was a movie night with your favorite boys, but when they forget it feels like you’re world is crumbling.
wc: 2.1k
warnings: hurt/comfort, fem!reader, gendered terms of endearment (sweet girl, baby girl, etc.), crying, meltdown.
a/n: i kinda got lost in the sauce w this one but week three wooo!!! don’t forget to check out @straykeedz versions!!! i hope you guys enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3
(i tense switch alot during this, i wrote it half asleep most of the time, i’ll edit it eventually lmao)
my library | bee’s vers | bee | binnie month | fundraiser
(pictures not mine! credit to owners!)
you were having a terrible day, nothing was going right and the only thing keeping you from completely breaking down was the movie night you had planned with your boyfriends.
8 o’clock came and you were all set up in your living room with snacks, blankets and of course wolf chan and dwaekki. you were sat on the couch, barely containing your excitement for the night ahead.
but then 8:15 came and you were still sat there alone, and then 8:20 you decided to send them a gentle reminder.
from sweet girl <3:
hi my loves, i’m all set up for movie night whenever you guys are ready 🖤
but 8:30 rolled around and then 9:00 and by that point you had sent several texts
from sweet girl <3:
i’m assuming you guys are still at the studio, just let me know when you’re on your way! love you guys 🖤
it’s getting kinda late, i hope everything’s okay, love you both very much 🖤🖤
i hope everything’s okay, but it’s getting late so i’m heading to bed, we can do movie night another night, goodnight my loves
now it’s 10:00, you had a terrible day and now the one thing you were looking forward to fell through, you were defeated. at your last texts you moped into your room needing nothing more than your warm bed and comfort movie.
luckily you had already put the snacks away after an hour of waiting realizing they probably forgot. once cozy in bed, you put monsters inc on your tv and pulled the two stuffies to your chest.
it was at this point the realization of what happened hit and you couldn’t stop the breakdown that followed. tears streaming down your face, breathing terribly uneven, and incoherent words falling from your mouth.
“they- they forgot about me.” you whimpered, hugging the plushies impossibly closer to you. the hoodie from changbin that usually helps calm you down, was now just a painful reminder of the two missing people.
you ripped the article of clothing off in an attempt to calm yourself, throwing it across the room. you settled back into the soft mattress, placing the gray and pink plushes to the side, opting for your soft blanket to calm yourself.
luckily after a few minutes your comfort movie had worked it’s magic and you felt yourself relax enough to finally fall into dreamland, tears drying against your skin as you slept.
unbeknownst to you, your boys were scrambling 15 minutes away in the studio. the producers had a habit of locking up their phones during their working hours to limit distractions but unfortunately that caused them to also forget about the plans they made with their favorite girl.
“oh fuck, hyung we gotta go, like now.” changbin shot up out of his chair once he realized the time. they were supposed to be at your apartment 2 hours ago to start movie night. “huh? what, what happened, what’s wrong?” trying to figure out what could’ve pulled such a reaction from the younger boy.
“look at the time,” he points to the time to emphasize his statement. “oh fuck,” the older of the two’s eyes goes as wide a saucers, whipping his head to the former. “we were supposed to be there 2 hours ago.” bin nods his head before moving to shut everything down.
“okay, okay, relax bin, let me save everything, you pack everything up then we can leave, okay?” changbin nods, realizing he’s right, this will all be completely in vain if they lost everything they were working on.
in the midst of gathering their items, changbin finally looks at his phone where he finds all the messages you sent, the last one being sent 15 minutes ago. he quickly texts out a response, hoping you hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
from binbin <3:
princess we’re so so sorry, we got caught up in work, we’re packing and heading to you now. we love you so so much baby. 🩷🩷
he puts his nail in his mouth, gnawing on it anxiously as his leg shakes. after saving all the files and shutting everything down, chan turns back to find a very anxious changbin staring at his phone.
he makes his way next to him, placing his hand on the shaking leg. “hey, what’s going on?” he asks gently. changbin looks up, unshed tears line his soft eyes. “she texted us 11 times.” his breathes, shaking his head, showing him the phone screen.
“and we ignored every single one of them. what if she was hurt? what if something happened? we would’ve never known” he rambles, sending himself further into a spiral.
“hey, hey,” he gently grabs the younger’s cheek, “she’s safe, she’s home in bed asleep,” his thumb slowly stroking his cheek, soothing the anxious man. “we’re going to her now, everything will be okay, okay?” bin nods his head, closing his eyes, letting a stray tear or two run down his cheek.
chan wipes the tears before placing a soft, loving kiss to his temple. “okay, let’s go see our girl.” chan smiles, grabbing his hand pulling him up with him.
once they made it to your apartment (not without breaking a few traffic laws), they let themselves in with the spare key you made them. quickly discarding their shoes, practically running to your room but not without missing the wrapped up snacks in your kitchen or the discarded blanket pile on your couch.
changbin pauses, guilt clutching his heart as he sees your discarded preparations. “come on.” chan quietly ushers, pointing to your room with a quick movement of his head. bin is quick to follow, needing to see you as soon as possible.
chan opens your door, finding a sleeping lump in the middle of your bed and none other than monsters inc playing softly on the screen. that alone told them everything they needed to know but then the thrown hoodie on the floor and two plushies laying next to you instead of clutched to your chest?
they knew they messed up, big time. bin went to rush to you, to wake you up and apologize profusely but chan stops him. “hold on, you might scare her.” bin nods understanding that even though he means well, you were in a very fragile mental state.
the older man carefully sits on the side of your bed, placing a hand to your shoulder. it was only then did he catch a glimpse of the tears stains dried to your chubby cheeks. his breath hitches, causing changbin to look after, catching sight of the same thing, his eyes filling with tears once more.
chan holds out his hand to give him a quick squeeze and a kiss before turning back to the problem at hand. he lays his chin on your shoulder, softly rubbing your arm to coax you awake.
“sweet girl,” he whispers, placing kisses to your shoulder, trying to wake you up as softly as possible. “wake up baby girl.” you slowly come back to consciousness, realizing that there was someone touching you.
you would have been scared if you didn’t recognize the familiar aussie voice. chan sits back as he feels you stir, bin coming to sit beside him, placing a hand to your thigh.. you turn to find your boys looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.
you feel the familiar sting behind your eyes but you quickly rub your eyes, masking your tears. “hi” your voice quiet, sleep lacing your voice. “hi sweetheart.” the aussie coos, “hi bunny.” bin whispers, his fingers tracing patterns on your thighs soothing him you.
“we’re sorry baby, we completely lost track of time, and we put our phones away so we didn’t see you texted, we’re just- really sorry bubba.” you nod, willing your tears away before you spoke.
“it’s okay, i understand.” you say lowly, fidgeting with the soft material to keep your composure. but try as you might the two boys knew you all too well.
“no it’s not,” bin finally speaks, causing you to catch a glimpse of him. two streaks shine on his soft cheeks against the glow of the tv, caught your eye. you sit up, moving chan, attempting to reach changbin.
“it’s not okay, we knew we had plans with you today, and not only did we miss it, we ignored you-” you cut him off with a kiss, your hand coming to wipe the wet streaks away. you pull away, your own tears making their way down your chubby cheeks.
“i am upset, but i’m not mad. i just had a bad day and this was the one thing i was looking forward to and it was just the final straw.” pause, sniffling as chan grabs the hand still in your lap.
“i was inconsolable and your hoodie and the stuffies just felt like a reminder of my bad day.” you look down, your hand falling from the soft man’s cheek to your lap, where he grabs your hand. you hear a sniffle, cause your head to shoot up where you find them both with wet streaks on their cheeks.
your lip wobbles as you see your boys upset, you shake your head frantically. before you can even open your mouth, chan shakes his head before moving behind you, pulling you to his chest. binnie moves to sit in chan’s previous position, placing a soothing hand on your thigh.
“do not apologize, you did nothing wrong, us being upset or missing movie night is not your fault, nor is it your problem to fix.” he whispers in your ear, rubbing your soft tummy. your lip wobbles again, dropping your head into your hands as you sob.
bin moves to wrap his arms around you, bringing you to him as best he could with you against chan. they knew you were upset and the best thing for you was to let you cry it out as heart wrenching as your sobs are.
they just hold you as you calm down, binnie rubbing your back, placing kisses to your temple. chan rubbing your tummy, placing kisses to your shoulder.
you pull away once you feel calm enough, wiping your tears as you sniffle. “thank you, both of you, i love you both more than you know.” you give bin a kiss first before turning around as best you could, doing the same to chan.
“come on, let’s get you to sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning, sweet girl, okay?” he pats your tummy, waiting for you to nod your head before moving the blankets to give you space in the middle of the bed. you carefully move over, shivering as you land on the cold side of the mattress.
both boys get up, chan rounding the bed to get to the other side while binnie goes to grab his discarded hoodie. he makes it back to your side as chan sits on the edge of the bed.
“sit it up for me quick bunny. “ he says, kneeling on the bed, scrunching the fabric. you sit up, lifting your arms so he can slip the familiar fabric over your head. once you slide your hands through the sleeves, the hood covering a part of your face.
you give him a cheesy smile before shooting out to wrap your arms around him. he wraps his arms around your shoulders, placing a big kiss to your hood covered head. “mwah!” he plops down next to me, getting comfy under the blankets.
you adjust the hoodie a bit before leaning against the plush pillows. chan lifts up the two stuffies, placing them to your chest, wrapping your arm around them. you smile once again, rolling over to place a big kiss on his cheek.
once you settle back into the bed, they both wrap their arms around you, making you feel safe and secure. “good night bubba, we love you,” chan whispers in your ear before placing a loving kiss to your soft cheek. “so so much bunny.” binnie finishes, placing a kiss to your other cheek.
you melt right into their arms. you get comfortable, turning on your side to face binnie, laying your head on his chest, grabbing chan’s arm to stay around you. “i love you both too, more than you know.” you mumble, placing a kiss to bin’s pec and chan’s hand.
you all melt into each other, relaxing slowly as sleep welcomes you, the soft sounds of monsters inc playing as you all lay peacefully in each other’s arms.
#seo changbin#bang chan#changbin#changbin oneshot#changbin fic#changbin x reader#changbin drabble#changbin imagine#changbin fluff#seo changbin imagine#bang chan fic#bang chan oneshot#bang chan drabble#bang chan fluff#bang chan x reader#bang chan imagine#stray kids#stray kids drabble#stray kids oneshot#stray kids one shot#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagine#ash's archive ‧₊˚✩彡
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would've, could've, should've | aaron hotchner
warning(s): one whole curse word, smoking, stunning amount of fluff and a little bit of action
GIF by @littlecarmine
part one
part two
author's note: Sorry for the delay, hope it was worth it! I also want to thank the sweet anon for the ask with the Robert Siken poem, which I included here. Next part will be straight-up filthy smut, so stay tuned, fellow sluts.
Follow me @MadeofLilies on Ao3 and let me know if you want to be tagged here.
-.-.-
You don’t see much of each other for the next couple of days. Aaron is on autopilot, avoiding any chance to be alone with you. The rest of the team unknowingly act as a buffer and all he has to do is not look at you during work hours, keep the door to his office shut to not hear your laughter.
It’s a relief when you and Morgan are called to testify in court for a case. You’re somewhere far away for the day, where he knows you’re safe and he can go back to pretending nothing has changed.
The problems start when he’s not being kept busy.
How much paperwork can one person do?
The stars align oddly in his favor and he’s into calls or meetings until long after everyone else has gone home. When ten pm rolls around, he finally calls it quits but sees no point in leaving in a hurry. It’s past Jack’s bed time, it’d be cruel to wake him up now and carry him back home when tomorrow’s Sunday. If all goes well, he can pick him in the morning and they’ll get to spend the day together.
His finger is hovering over Jessica’s number when he spots your name in his call logs. It’s silly and childish, but he hasn’t thought of you in a couple of hours and God.
Deep down, he knows he’s been incredibly unfair to you. He had to. Had to tell himself it was something outside of him causing him torment. An obstacle to overcome, a distraction to ignore. He had to act as if you were forcing your way into his life in order to be able to put up walls, but what have you really done except exist near him? He is the one to blame for allowing it to grow beneath his skin; succumbing to his need for some sort of intimacy when he could have -should have- nipped this at the bud a very long time ago. He recognized it within himself the other day, when he realized he could have -should have- kissed you.
But nothing is healed with a kiss. Only new grievances arise.
It’s where you go from there that matters and he finds himself unable to guide or be guided.
Where do you go from here?
When he decides to feed his insomnia with a cup of late-night coffee, he is yet again reminded of you. So, he calls, but you don’t answer and he pours another, completely indifferent to the idea of sleep.
It’s getting too late to be here, even by his standards. He tries calling again, but, no answer. He gathers his stuff to leave and there is a horrible feeling at the pit of his stomach when he settles inside the car. It’s only eleven and you always say you never sleep this early.
Another call, this time to Emily, who miraculously, picks up.
“Hello? Hotch?”
There is a deafening buzz in the background; loud voices and music blasting.
Aaron apologizes for the late hour and tries to be discreet when he asks about you. Says he needs to go over something about a case file but you won’t answer his calls and he got worried.
“Yeah, she’s fine, she’s right here with me, but it’s a little hard to get her right now. Is it urgent?”
“Uh, no, don’t bother her. Is everyone else there too?”
“Not everyone, just the two of us, Garcia and Morgan. Do you need them as well?”
You didn’t invite him, why would you? He would have never said yes.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
“Sorry, sir, I can’t make out much with all this noise. We’re at the ‘Matter’ if you need us. I’ll tell the guys to call you as soon as they can, okay? Have a good night.”
So, he drives two miles a little before midnight to come sit outside ‘Matter’, which is apparently a very busy nightclub downtown, half a mile away from the nearest parking spot he could find.
He doesn’t really know why he came.
He can’t come in and join you. Can’t ask for you.
They probably wouldn’t even let him in while dressed like this.
It’s very unclear what the next step is.
He knows it’s pointless to call you again when you’re probably too busy dancing and drinking with a great many people who are not him. Morgan has some trouble keeping his hands to himself when he drinks.
He sits on the curb of the street, cracks open the pack of cigarettes he snack out of the car’s glove compartment, always hidden below the insurance papers. Astoundingly loud music plays every time the doors to the club open and people come out stumbling, kissing sloppily and dragging each other away.
He just wants to see you and put this horrible feeling inside him to rest.
“No fucking way.”
He jolts at the sound of your voice and throws away the cigarette, putting it out with his shoe before he turns to see you standing outside the club. You approach timidly until you can be sure it’s him and when you step closer to the streetlight, he can really see you. The clothes you could never wear to work, the shoes you apparently spend all your money on. You’re beautiful.
He can’t possibly move until you’re sat beside him. For the first time in what seems like forever, now that he’s grown so used to it, you keep a very respectable distance between your bodies.
“You didn’t have to throw it away; I already saw you and,” you pick up the abandoned carton from the sidewalk and almost laugh at how immaculate it looks just having been opened, “I have so many questions. Since when do you smoke?”
His voice is quiet, unamused.
“Almost never.”
You look at him curiously and he thinks you would make a great interrogator simply by the way you make everyone around you spill their souls out if it will satisfy you.
“Sometimes when I’m very stressed.”
You hum, “I never would have guessed that.”
He laughs to himself and looks at his hands.
“Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of things that are not typical of me lately.”
You help yourself to a cigarette and he cups his hand over yours when the breeze makes it too hard to light up.
“Is that because of me? Am I a bad influence?”
“No. It’s me, I’m the common denominator.”
You hum again and smile at him teasingly in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Breakthrough.”
“So, this is what therapy is like?”
He wants to thank you, for always trying to make things as easy as possible for him. You open the door and difficult as it may seem, all he really has to do is walk through it.
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t smoke in session.”
“Oh good.”
You’re sitting closer again and Aaron doesn’t know how. He doesn’t think either of you moved. He keeps his eyes on the road in front of him, glances at you only from the corner of his eye. Your perfume mingles with the smoke of the cigarette and it’s all a haze to him.
“Why are you not inside?”
“I needed a breath; it was very loud and packed in there… and I finally saw your calls.”
He hums, unable to find anything else to say.
“Why are you here?
“I don’t know.”
He knows that is not a good enough of an answer.
“I always have this terrible feeling that something is going to happen to you.”
Your shoulder touches his and he can admire the smoothness of it, focus on each mark there to avoid the dreaded eye contact.
“Do you think that fear is reasonable, or is it rooted in something else?’
His eyes shut tightly, “Don’t do that, please. Don’t talk to me like I’m a subject.”
“You use your ‘agent tone’ all the time outside of work.”
His voice deepens, “I am aware.”
Heavy breathing.
“I’m sorry I did all that and then backed out at the last minute.”
“It’s alright. I think I knew you would.”
“See, that’s even worse.”
You look at his suit, the wrinkles that have formed in the shirt underneath from the hours of wear.
“Did you come here straight from the office?”
A sigh, “Yeah.”
You nod your head in understanding and move to put out what’s left of the cigarette.
“I’m alright. I’ve got the others too; they’ll take me home. You can relax now.”
“I don’t think I ever can.”
You don’t know what to say really. If what he needs is time, you can give it, but he seems undecided as well when he picks up your hand.
“I think I’m scared of what will happen once the line is crossed.”
A confession.
That, you did not expect.
“Aside from the complications at work, I just,” his hand rubs gently on the spot your watch has left its mark, “I have proved time and time again that I can’t handle any relationship beyond professionalism and once we stop being just colleagues, I will lose you completely from my life.”
“Do you think that line has not been crossed already?”
He laughs quietly.
You can both feel the bouncer looking at you and Aaron is suddenly aware of how vulnerable he is right now.
“I guess it has.”
You’re both quiet for a little while.
“I have to go back inside now, or they’ll start getting worried.”
He looks like he’s about to say something, but no words leave his mouth.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell them you were here.”
That hurt. You know it, but what else was there to say?
“Maybe tomorrow you’ll know.”
You give his hand a reassuring squeeze before you leave and he’s left staring while you go back inside.
-.-.-
A little past two, the girls drop you off in a shared cub before going their separate ways and you rush to your apartment building, only to find Aaron waiting there.
“Well, you certainly have a thing for sitting on curbs.”
He looks tired, so tired, and alone in the empty street. It’s very hard to maintain your position when he always looks this beaten down in his most tender moments. You wish to care for him, love him back into happiness but that wouldn’t be fair.
Still, you can’t help but go to him and he is relieved that you sit closer this time.
“Have you been waiting here this whole time?”
“It hasn’t been that long.”
You softly take his right hand to look at his watch. His body relaxes at the touch.
“Huh.”
“Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, but I’m a little more drunk than the last time you saw me.”
Your skin glows under the soft moonlight and he notices.
It is technically tomorrow now.
“How drunk?”
His face moves closer and you can’t help but shiver at the sudden change. His breath is warm on your face. The words come out in a whisper.
“Not that much.”
That’s all it takes.
His lips press against yours once… then twice and then… he doesn’t stop.
You always thought he’d be one to kiss carefully and with absolute purpose, just like he does everything else, but he kisses like a man on fire. He seeks to quench something deep inside of him and you provide happily. The remnants of your lip gloss tingle on his mouth, as if kissing you alone is not enough of an awakening.
It’s becoming increasingly hard to keep up with breathing when he envelops you so, and cages you in the pleasant whirl of his scent. When you break away for breath, he’s quick to capture you once more. His hands come to your face to keep you there until he’s had enough, but how he can he ever have enough of you?
He only lets you go because he has to. You’re both practically panting and he can’t decide what to do. He wants to kiss you, look at you, touch you, but it cannot all be done at once. When your own hand comes to his face just below his jawline, he melts under the touch. His eyes are sunken, his body is begging for rest, but it would not come without you.
“Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
His voice is low and breathy when he nods.
“Yeah…”
-.-.-
You walk upstairs, hand in hand, and Aaron can see your own exhaustion is taking over. Something started with that first touch. Your bodies wish only to find comfort near each other.
His breath is warm on your neck while you open the door, his hands softly placed on your waist with the excuse of keeping you steady. When you move to take off your shoes, he is behind you again, as if tied to you with invisible thread, and holds you gently by the elbow when he sees you struggling.
You’re suddenly very aware he is in your house again. Touching you.
“Can I get you anything?”
He shakes his head no, but you’re too focused on the way his hand moves languidly up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, before tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
He is so caring. So soft below the austere guise.
“I just need to take a shower,” you almost stumble backward and he thinks it’s the alcohol, but it might just be the feeling of his hands on your face, “I must have fifty different people’s sweat on me right now.”
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.”
His voice is soft – tired.
You turn on the lights for him in the living room and he gives a half-smile when you check on him again.
“I won’t be long.”
Once left alone, he gets to look around your house. He sees your carefully assorted nick-knacks and smiles at the framed pictures all over your bookshelves. He can’t help but notice you’ve chosen one, if not the only, photo of the team that he’s also part of.
He is important to you too.
He can see you in every corner of the room, in the books you buy and the realistic-looking-but-admittedly-fake plants sprinkled here and there for a lack of time to take care of any real ones. He can even see you in the soft material of the couch when he sits and lets his cheek touch the fabric. He has been here before in a dream, with your head in his lap.
The room is awfully quiet save for the gentle ticking of the clock on the wall and the sound of running water in the background. For a man that’s usually so good at sitting alone with his thoughts, he suddenly can’t stand it.
He knocks gently on the bathroom door and opens it slowly, only to be hit with the dizzying cloud of warm steam. Your head peeks behind the shower curtain and he can tell you got tired of standing and sat in the tub instead.
“Is it okay if I sit in here with you?”
You thought he’d sit on the toilet seat, but he crawls to the edge of the tub and sits on the bathmat with his back to you.
How close is close enough?
Now that he’s ventured, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be satisfied.
So, he closes his eyes and rests his head back on the, now warm, porcelain.
“Aaron.”
He doesn’t know if he actually fell asleep, but the water is now turned off and you’re looking at him. He realizes now, for the first time, that you’re naked behind him. Your hair and eyelashes are angelically wet, the sheen of water on your flushed skin is divine. He knows that you’d be warm if he touched you now.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes.”
You smile at him -siren- and your hand grabs a handful of his shirt, staining it with water that reaches his body underneath and makes him shiver. You kiss him with plump wet lips and he reaches for you. His hand entangles in your hair until you’re both practically pulling at each other.
A less enamored man would have broken away just to sneak a peek at your bare skin, but he won’t. He is respectful even now, even like this.
“I should have kissed you the other day. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
It’s a whisper when his mouth leaves yours, but you catch it.
You hum, eyes glossy, “Would've, could've, should’ve.”
What matters is now.
He kisses you again – just one more time. You both feel like giddy, lovesick children.
“Can you hand me my bathrobe?”
The bathrobe is also impossibly soft to the touch and when you emerge clad in it, he thinks he’d like to hold you. The spell of the warm steam is broken outside, however, and being so close to your naked body suddenly becomes very serious.
You let him sit in your bed, still fully clothed, save for his suit jacket, and he closes his eyes again. The comforter underneath is lovely.
Is everything in this house soft?
Is this what it feels like to be loved by you?
You disappear inside the walk-in closet and reappear, now properly dressed in your pajamas. The bed dips when you sit next to him and he turns to you completely.
“I have a T-shirt you can sleep in, don’t know about pants though.”
Please. Just be here, with him.
He watches you leave, but it’s not long before you return with the aforementioned shirt. You laugh when he finally realizes he’ll have to sleep in his boxers.
“Don’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you.”
He throws a teasing look, but can’t possibly come up with a clever answer right now.
“I’ll go dry my hair and you can get dressed, alright?”
You are so gentle with your guidance that it makes him feel like a helpless child, but there’s a hidden relief at that. It’s nice; being cared for like this and there is something to be said about parallels, with you going now to do as you had done a week and a half ago in a Florida hotel and him waiting for you – on your bed.
It’s the same, but it’s different.
He hangs his work clothes carefully on the chair in the corner of your room and goes to sit on the bed, but feels too uncomfortable to climb under the covers. He knows you’d find his duality funny; how he goes from hungrily kissing you to being too embarrassed to join you in bed, even if it’s only for sleep.
You notice his stiffness when you come back in the room, but don’t say anything. It’s not exactly easy for you either, you’re just better at hiding it than he is. You choose to lead by example instead and turn off the lights before reaching for the one on your nightstand and climbing inside your bedding.
He only speaks to deflect attention from him again, “You have a TV in your room.”
“Jealous?”
He turns to look at you and you’re perched up on the plump pillows, smiling at him. Your hand reaches for his own over the comforter and you gently pull him to you.
He comes, of course.
“I don’t watch a lot of TV.”
“Of course you don’t.”
He joins you with his back on the pillows and his shoulder touching yours, but he’s still too stiff.
“What do you watch?”
“Mostly reruns of sitcoms-,” he laughs at that, “-Seinfeld.”
“Isn’t that show a thousand years old?
“You would know.”
He laughs again and you can almost make out a wounded pout on his face, but a kiss is enough of a cure. His shoulders relax and he gives in to the warmth and softness; be it the bed or you next to him. You can tell he’s barely managing to stay awake, but he still can’t let go completely. His head slumps backward again.
“Can we turn it on?”
You find the courage to caress his hair, admiring the softness of it and the discreet sprinkle of grey that you can only see up close.
“If you want.”
The quiet humming of the television and your breath in his ear, putting his mind to ease, are enough for him to finally sleep and you’re not long behind. His head is turned to the side where you are, hand tightly holding yours.
Later in the night, when you stir in your sleep, he pulls you further into him – wraps his arm around you completely and doesn’t let go.
next part
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#thomas gibson
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Hello! I was wondering if you'd quite something based on the bat boys (or just Jason) reaction to realizing they liked having a normal life?
Like they go to visit the readers' family for Xmas, but their family left without letting them know, so they had the whole house to themselves, so they got to play house. It was in a whole other state, so no needing to be vigilantes. Just them with their s/o getting ready for Christmas, being shown around and just living a normal life for a few weeks.
A/N: Hope you don't mind me not writing about Duke and Damian since they're both minors so legally speaking they can't really travel out-of-state alone. Plus to be real, I highly doubt Batman would want to leave Damian unsupervised considering what happens when he's alone 😔
Dick:
His whole life he was anything but normal, being raised in a circus and now, fighting crimes 24/7. Excitement, action, danger, and adventures are what defines him and how he had always dreamt of how his life would go on. But here he is, tasting “normal” for the first time in his life by spending the holiday with you in the house you were raised in. Snowball fights and building snowmen delays the process of clearing the snow. Not to forget the snow angels that are made once he playfully tackles you down into the snow after you manage to get more on him than yourself. Putting up the lights and decoration both inside and outside of the house was more fun than the times he helped out at the Wayne manor, while finding out shopping for anything during the holiday season is a battle of its own. Adding that to the daily routine that’s usually gone through on his days off every day, it’s… quiet and peaceful. He doesn’t wake up to sirens or violence. He’s not worried about another mission, instead figuring out how he’ll get your present under the tree without getting caught. You greeting him at the door, placing a kiss on his cheeks that are slightly bitten from frost when it’s decided he’s moving the snow on his own makes him so fuzzy, he starts calling you honey over babe. The most mind boggling about this? He doesn't mind it. It’s hard to accept that he actually likes “normal”. He’s confused over liking a concept that’s completely foreign to him and with his personality, he won’t last long with living with “normal” forever. The happy couple/marriage vibe though? He’s on board and digs it, one-hundred percent. Especially in a house filled with childhood memories, it’s giving him ideas and changing what he perhaps would want in the future in ways he wouldn’t think of back then.
Jason:
Considering his childhood and how he went through the whole reincarnation cycle of dying and then reviving, it’s a desire he had as a kid but gave up right away. He didn’t even fathom that a day would come where he would experience what it would be like to be normal. Walking around and staying in the typical home most average people live in made him tense the first three days, even more so knowing this was where you lived since a child. Moving snow with you becomes his favorite pastime, where you’d distract from getting the job done and have him chase after you from the snowball that hits his back. Or bringing out steaming hot chocolate so his nose and hands would stop feeling as if they’re ready to fall off from the cold after cleaning up and helping you build a snow fort of all things. His hands are frequently on your waist from holding you up to string the lights and hang the decorations after you frown from his “aesthetic” way of placing them, pushing him to move aside so you could show how a real pro does it. It’s also his first time struggling to find time to get a present behind your back from being with you all the time. Eating meals together, taking walks together around the neighborhood and city, acting as bodyguard during grocery and Christmas shopping, spending time together as a couple in general in a house that’s warm, cozy, and peaceful as Jason Todd is a first. Not as Robin once dead and revived or Red Hood, the violent outlaw. It’s a wish once buried in his heart on top of another where he’s spending time with you that comes true before the holiday. He’s emotional from being so happy, he doesn’t think of anything else other than wanting to live like this for the rest of his life.
Tim:
Contrary to the stereotypes depicted by the media, rich kids don’t spend time with their family; it's usually spent with their nanny as their parents leave them for long periods of time in a house too large for two people. Sure over the years he has healed with his friends and a new family. But it feels like a dream come true with you. He’s laughing and enjoying the soft fluffiness of white that gets all over him, freezing his nose and hands when he tries to clear the snow. He gets into it with you over how the lights and decorations should be placed inside and outside the house when you mentioned you want to outdo your neighbors, a set of blueprints and sketches drawn while debating that rainbow lights were better than the flickering, white ones. To much of his chagrin, he’s fumbling with all the things you toss at him when he helps you shop, him being in charge of the shopping cart as he stays in-line as you grab and bring back what’s needed in the store. Not that he’s complaining, his face suddenly tinted in red when you come back and slip your hand between his hand and the handle during the wait for the next opened cashier. Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t struggle with getting you a Christmas present and placing it under the tree. He had been keeping tabs since the day after Valentine’s Day on the things you’ve been looking at while relying on your habits he memorized to time things perfectly. Similar to Jason, he, too, wanted to live normally like any other person. Him getting to do that by prepping for the holiday with you heals the child in him, making him content and wishing the time the two of you currently have lasts forever.
#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#nightwing#nightwing x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#tim drake x reader#tim drake#red robin dc#red robin x reader
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GYUVIN HAVING A SECRET CRUSH ON YOU!!
NOTE FROM SENA , i actually had an idea in my mind (which might explain how I made this one so fast lol) thank you for requesting this anon, I actually had fun writing this one! [REQUESTED] college au MASTERLIST!!
join my taglist by sending an ask or commenting here <3
i. THE CLASS PREZ & THE NEW STUDENT
From the moment you entered the classroom as the new student, Gyuvin—class president and campus golden boy—was assigned to guide you around.
He approached you with his signature bright grin and confidence, extending a hand. “I’m Gyuvin, class president and your new best friend. You’re in good hands.”
He quickly learned you struggled a bit with your studies, but instead of judging, he offered to help you. “No worries. I’ve got you.”
Gyuvin loved tutoring you—mostly because it gave him a reason to spend time with you.
ii. HELPING YOU CHEAT
Gyuvin is so against cheating—seriously, he’s class president, he’s responsible! But… he’s also whipped for you.
During a particularly tough exam, you whisper that you’re doomed, and Gyuvin just sighs dramatically. “Don’t move, okay?”
He slides his answer sheet ever-so-subtly toward you under the pretense of stretching, whispering, “This never happened.”
After the exam, he scolds you gently: “I can’t believe I did that! You owe me for breaking my morals.” But then he softens and grins, ruffling your hair. “You’re lucky it was you.”
He’d never admit that seeing your relieved smile made it all worth it.
iii. THE PROJECT PAIRING
When the professor announces a paired project, Gyuvin immediately claims you as his partner, leaving no room for debate. “We’re a team—no questions asked.”
Working on the project together brings you closer. You spend late nights in the library, him explaining concepts and teasing you when you get distracted.
He’d always bring snacks—especially a strawberry milk bottle—because he “can’t have his baby starving.”
The first time he calls you baby, you roll your eyes and shove him playfully. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? You’re basically my baby at this point. I take care of you,” he jokes with that boyish grin.
iv. THE STRAWBERRY MILK HABIT
Gyuvin starts carrying a strawberry milk bottle everywhere, and his friends are utterly confused.
“Why do you always have that?”
“My baby might need it,” he says casually, ignoring the teasing looks.
Whenever you look tired or stressed, he wordlessly hands you the bottle with a small smile. “Drink up. It’s your favorite, right?”
Even before you started dating, it became a small tradition—his way of silently showing he cared.
v. HIS TERRIBLE “SECRET” CRUSH
Gyuvin genuinely thought he was being sneaky, but in reality, everyone (including you) figured it out long before he confessed.
His friends constantly teased him for how obvious it was—how his eyes lit up when you walked into a room, how he couldn’t stop talking about you, and how he always prioritized you over everything else.
“You’re so obvious, Gyuvin. Even she probably knows.”
“No way. I’m smooth,” he’d insist, completely unaware that you’d been catching on for weeks.
vi. WHEN YOU FOUND OUT
You finally caught on one day when you overheard Gyuvin’s friends teasing him about how whipped he was for you.
“Bro, you’re carrying two strawberry milks now? Are you building a shrine for her?”
Gyuvin groaned, blushing. “I just want her to be happy, okay? Shut up.”
You cornered him later, smirking. “So… whipped, huh?”
Gyuvin froze, completely flustered. “Who told you that?! I mean—uh—what?”
vii. THE STOLEN KISS
Before you could fully confront him about his feelings, Gyuvin decided to beat you to the punch.
It happened after one of your late project sessions. You were packing up your things when he suddenly leaned closer, grinning mischievously.
“You know,” he said softly, “it’s not really a secret crush if you already know, right?”
Before you could respond, he brushed his lips against your cheek—a soft, fleeting kiss that left you stunned.
He laughed at your reaction, standing up and stretching. “What? I had to make my move before you started teasing me for real.”
viii. THE CONFESSION & DATING
Gyuvin finally confessed properly a few days later. He showed up at your doorstep with a strawberry milk bottle in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.
“Okay, fine. I like you—a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Will you let me call you ‘baby’ for real?”
You couldn’t say no, especially when he looked so hopeful. “Fine. But only if you keep bringing me strawberry milk.”
From then on, Gyuvin became the best boyfriend—teasing you constantly but always taking care of you in his own sweet way.
His friends groaned every time they saw you two together, calling you the “power couple” because of how smitten Gyuvin was.
ix. AFTER DATING GYUVIN
He never lets you forget how hard he worked for you. “Remember when I helped you cheat during that exam? That’s love, babe.”
He still calls you “baby,” but now it’s with even more affection.
And yes, he always—always—has a strawberry milk ready for you because, in his words: “I’ve been your class president, your tutor, your partner… but being your boyfriend is my favorite job.”
© fanbasetwo | tumblr
#𝒮ena’s 𝒲orks ♡︎#kpop imagines#zb1 imagines#zb1 fics#zb1 hard thoughts#kpop smut#kpop hard thoughts#kpop hard hours#zb1 hard hours#zb1#kpop fluff#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop headcanons#kpop soft hours#zb1 x you#zb1 x reader#zb1 reactions#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 soft hours#zb1 headcanons#zb1 scenarios#zb1 smut#zerobaseone gyuvin#gyuvin smut#gyuvin x reader#kim gyuvin#gyuvin fluff#gyuvin zerobaseone#kpop fanfic
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I love you
Alexia x R
R realizes she’s in love with her girlfriend
warnings: none!
a/n: just something I wrote after seeing Alexia up close during a game and realizing I might actually be in love with her. Almost a thousand words of pure fluff. Enjoy!
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The smell of coffee and sound of Spanish music playing wake you up. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you stretch your limbs, taking your time to enjoy your morning before having to get up.
After a few more minutes you finally decide to leave your bed. Taking a hoodie and putting it on, you walk into the kitchen. The sight you find, however makes you stop in your tracks.
Alexia is cooking –what seems to be– breakfast for the two of you, which is not weird at all. Except it is because she’s doing it in your shirt.
This shouldn’t surprise you as much as it does, considering the two of you are at your house and Alexia wasn’t planning on staying the night. But there’s something about seeing your girlfriend wearing your clothes that just makes sense. You feel warmth spreading all through your body and can’t help but stare at her a little bit longer, trying to memorize the scene in front of you.
“You could be helping me instead of looking at me,” Alexia’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts “Buenos días, amor.”
“Good morning,” you answer smiling at her, still a little distracted.
Alexia lets out a laugh at how zoned out you seem to be and suddenly it hits you.
You’re in love with her.
You don’t know for sure what makes you realize it; maybe it was sleeping in the same bed as her, waking up to the sound of her cooking in your kitchen, seeing her in your clothes, or simply the domesticity of it all.
“Amor?” you hum at your girlfriend’s question “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”
“Yeah, yeah, I just- I forgot I told my sister I would call her when I woke up,” you lie “so I should probably do it before we have breakfast.”
“Oh, alright. Okay, you do that and I’ll finish cooking in the meantime,” she answers walking up to you and leaving a kiss on your forehead.
As soon as you’re out of earshot you take your phone begging the universe your sister will pick up.
“Hello?” you hear a very sleepy voice ask.
“Help. I need help.”
“Well, that’s obvious. I’m surprised it has taken you this long to realize,” you roll your eyes at your sister's antics “What is it?”
Taking a deep breath and making an effort to lower your voice, you try not to think about it too much before opening your mouth to answer.
“I’m in love with Alexia. But, like, really in love. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest every time she looks at me, or smiles at me, or touches me. I love the sound of her laugh, and how calm she looks in the mornings. I love that we’re the complete opposite and yet we complement each other perfectly. She’s just- I’m- I don’t know. I’ve been in love before, but this feeling? This feels fucking amazing, like something I’ve never felt, like I had never truly lived until I met her, you know? And now everything just makes perfect sense because she’s by my side,” you stop for a moment trying to gather your thoughts because you’re not sure you’re making a lot of sense right now “We’ve only been dating for a few months, but I’ve woken up today and she was there, standing in my kitchen, wearing my clothes and cooking breakfast for me and I just knew it. I love her.”
There’s silence at the other end of the line for a few minutes. You’re about to hang up thinking your sister has fallen asleep when she speaks again.
“Well, it seems to me like you already know how you feel. Now you just need to tell your girlfriend.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?” you ask frustrated “I don’t even know if she feels the same way!”
“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” you hear your sister mumble “That woman loves you, probably more than you think. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t realized you love her until this moment. Now, about how to tell her? I have no idea, but you figure it out, I’m going to sleep.”
And just like that your sister hangs up.
You walk back into the kitchen with no plan but determined to tell Alexia how you feel.
“Breakfast is almost ready, you should get the-”
“Alexia” you interrupt her.
Looking up, your girlfriend stops what she’s doing when she sees how serious you look and nods her head, indicating that you have her full attention.
“What is it? You just used my full name so it seems pretty important,” she says letting out a nervous laugh.
“No, it’s, um- it’s not anything bad, I promise” you move towards her and take her hands in yours “I just- I love you. And, listen, you don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel the same, but I just really needed you to know.”
You bite your lip waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. Instead, your girlfriend puts both of her hands in your cheeks, forcing you to look up at her. You barely have any time to process what is happening before her lips are on yours, kissing you with purpose. After a few seconds the two of you separate, Alexia resting her forehead against yours.
“I love you,” she whispers against your lips and letting out a laugh “So much.”
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso#woso community#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso couples#woso fluff#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#alexia x reader
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Could you do 21 and 25 with Quinn Hughes ❤️🔥
I am gonna be honest I have no idea how your prompt turning into this 🤣🤣. I guess I really am Quinn Hughes Whore.(if you have been here that long to understadn that reference I love you)
200 Followers Celebration
"Wait - uh - do... do that again." "Fuck - uh! I love it when you touch me like that"
"Quinny" you whisper in his ear, you know that he focused on his computer. He's rewatching old clips of games, not his games, opponents games during playoffs studying them to help figure out the best way to beat them in upcoming season. He doesn't pause the video not right away but at least makes a sound of acknowledgement that he did in fact hear you. "why don't you take a break?" you whisper starting to kiss down his neck trying to distract him. Listen if it wasn't for him being on his third hour 3 days in a row you would of left him alone. But it isn't healthy to obsess espically this early on, before preseason even started.
"baby I'm trying to focus" is all he says, but his arm does wrap around you pulling you just a little bit closer. Your clit in your jean shorts rubbing against his sweats.
"wait - uh - do... do that again." you ask. Not sure if its the angle or the fact that you are just really horny but the contrast of materials had you wanting more.
"do what?" suddenly turning his attention to you, with a smirk on his face. "I haven't even touched you and your already begging me." the smugness in his voice only becoming more clear with each word.
"please Quinny" you begg. "It's been so long." trying to get him to give in.
A deep laugh leaves his lips deep from his chest. "baby I fucked you this morning in the shower." he reasons.
"yeah that was like 12 hours ago." pouting looking down, suddenly embarrassed at Quinn pointing out that it hasn't even been a day and your body is already craving more.
He takes his hand that isn't wrapped around you and puts his index finger under your chin. Forcing yourself to look up at him. "How about we make a deal?" he softly asks. Shaking your head yes, he continues. "I do need to finish this film, but I am not evil baby. How about you use my thigh to get off. Then once your done, I promise to take a real break." Whispering the last part in your ear, as his hand starts leaving ghostly touches down your body. "and fuck the shit outta you until you'll be begging me to stop."
Shaking your head, you go to straddle his left thigh, your right knee as close as it can be to his dick. His eyes back to focus on his computer, as you start to roll your hips. Softly moaning at the feeling alone but also at the fact that Quinn was completely ignoring you focused on his work. Suddenly you made it your mission to distract him, even if you knew you would be punished for it later you wanted to know how far you could go with him ignoring you.
"Ahh Quinn fuck yeah." rolling your hips faster then before, pushing your boobs slightly in front of his face. Taking your hand that wasn't wrapped around his neck for support, you put it under your shirt, greatful you were too lazy to wear a bra today. "ahh right there baby. please." you continue. Opening your eyes barely you see Quinn was still ignoring you, you decided to turn it up a level.
"Quinny please." Taking his hand that was looslely wrapped around your waist, putting his hand on your ass, forcing him to palm it. He continued to palm it but still didn't look at you. Now it really was becoming a game of who would give in first. Looking down you got a new idea.
Removing your hand from under your shirt, you glance at Quinn again, still focused on the game, you have to stop yourself form rolling your eyes as you go to leave light touches on his already hard member.
"fffuucckkk." he lets out his head throwing back automatically to the back of the coach. "why can't you ever just fucking listen."
"please I need you, and you need me too." you try to reason.
Finally he decides to help you, removing your shirt, one of your boobs goes into his mouth and you cry in ecstasy. "fuck - uh! I love it when you touch me like that." As he takes your one leg and moves it so your straddling his lap, controlling your rolls as you start to dry hump.
"please don't stop." you beg "i'm so close please. can i-" you start. "can I come Quinny?" you ask, knowing it turns him on when you ask for permission.
Removing himself from your boob, he looks at you, his pupils blown with lust. "I don't know how you been a good girl?" he asks. His mouth going to bite already purple hickies from this morning, causing you to make a sound mixed between a cry and moan.
"Please Quuuinnnyyy." draggin his name out.
"hmm" he says like he's really sitting their fucking debating this shit, when you feel like your able to explode.
"what's the magic word baby."
"please." you say
'no no no"
"please daddy." you beg.
"okay baby go ahead." he says and you swear you see stars as you finally let yourself go, Quinn close behind you.
#200 followers celebration#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes one shot#quinn hughes blurb#hughes imagine#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes fic#vancouver canucks fic#schwritingsqh43
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# is this part of the plan ? (oneshot)
pairing.. rafayel x dating coach!reader
cw.. angst, non mc!reader, repost
love and deepspace masterlist
thinking about.. rafayel after mc rejects him with the cutting yet honest words,
“you’re too emotionally unstable right now. you need to figure yourself out.”
rafayel is crushed. he spends days sulking in self-pity until a friend points him toward you, a well-known dating coach.
when you first meet him, he’s awkward, defensive, and a little too overdramatic. “i’m not here because i’m bad at love,” he insists. “i’m here because she doesn’t see what’s right in front of her!”
thanks to your years of experience, you saw right through him. he’s stubborn and emotionally guarded, but deep down, he’s just a broken guy who wants to be loved. you agree to help him—not because you think he’s hopeless, but because you see potential in him.
the first sessions are a mix of awkwardness and resistance. rafayel treats it like a battle, constantly questioning your advice.
“you want me to… share my feelings? i think not.”
“writing letters? that’s ridiculous. who does that?”
thinking about.. slowly but surely, though, he begins to trust you. he starts sharing little pieces of himself—stories of his 800 years of waiting, his fears of rejection, and his struggles with being vulnerable. meanwhile, you’re genuinely rooting for him. you find yourself impressed by his progress, even charmed by the small, unguarded moments he shows during your sessions.
one day, you’re both walking back from a session, and rafayel surprises you by holding the door open for you. it’s a simple gesture, but it feels oddly thoughtful.
another time, he shows up to a session with your favorite drink, casually saying, “you mentioned you liked it last time.”
he starts practicing small compliments. “that color suits you” he says offhandedly, and you nearly drop your notebook.
at first, you think he’s just practicing for mc, but there’s something… different about how he treats you. the way his gaze lingers just a little too long. the way his tone softens when he says your name.
during one session, you’re giving him advice about emotional vulnerability, explaining how important it is to express how you feel to the people who matter. he stares at you, his usual sharp retort dying on his lips. for the first time, he really listens—not because he’s thinking about mc, but because the only person he wants to open up to is you.
thinking about.. how the realization hits him like a ton of bricks. “oh no,” he thinks. “this isn’t about her anymore.”
rafayel spends the rest of the session distracted, his mind racing. he starts avoiding eye contact, stammering over his words. by the time he leaves, he’s completely panicked.
rafayel begins skipping sessions, making up flimsy excuses like, “i’m busy,” or “i don’t think i need your help anymore.”
you assume it’s because he’s succeeded with mc. while you’re happy for him, a small part of you feels… empty. you hadn’t realized how much you’d started looking forward to his presence, his awkward smiles, and his dramatic complaints.
alone in your office, you find yourself staring at the empty chair where he used to sit, thinking, “why does this hurt so much? he was just a client… wasn’t he?”
thinking about.. the day you see rafayel with mc at a café. you weren’t stalking him—you tell yourself this over and over—but your steps falter the moment you spot them. she’s smiling at something he said, her laugh soft and genuine, and he’s leaning back in his chair, relaxed in a way you’ve rarely seen.
it hurts more than you expect. wasn’t this what he wanted? wasn’t this the whole point? your chest tightens as you force yourself to look away, swallowing the lump in your throat. you remind yourself that you were just his coach, that his happiness is all that matters. still, you can’t stop the wave of jealousy that washes over you.
you walk away before they notice you, but all the while, rafayel’s thoughts are miles away from mc.
he’s smiling, nodding along to whatever she’s saying, but his mind is filled with you. he remembers how your voice softens when you’re explaining something important, the way your eyes light up when you laugh. he thinks about how you believed in him even when he didn’t believe in himself, and the way your presence alone made him feel like he wasn’t so broken after all.
mc’s voice pulls him back to the present, but it only makes him feel more out of place. he realizes, with a pang of guilt, that he doesn’t care about impressing her anymore. the only person he wants to see, to be with, is you.
thinking about.. how despite everything, forces himself to love mc because she is his bride, his soulmate.
he’s standing in front of her, the weight of history pressing down on him. the truth that had once been buried beneath all his emotions rises to the surface—mc is his bride, his destined love, the one he was bound to all those years ago. and though his heart aches with the thought of how much he's changed, how much he’s grown through his time with you, rafayel forces himself to turn away from the feeling he’s found with you.
he doesn’t want to, but duty and fate are stronger than desire. he watches mc with a mask of calm, the same mask he wore when he first met you—detached, guarded, emotionally distant.
“ive changed, im ready now,” he tells her, but the words feel hollow, even to him. he’s not ready. but he’s been waiting for so long that he can't abandon what was promised.
you, on the other hand, are left with the silence of what could have been. the empty chair where he once sat no longer feels like an absence but a choice. you can’t deny the sorrow you feel, but you understand. rafayel made his choice, and it wasn’t you.
you let him go, quietly, silently. because even if he didn’t choose you, you know you’ll always carry a piece of him, the part that was real, the part that was always meant to be free.
at the end, you could only dream of what could've been, you imagine both of you sharing a life where he will joke about.. “you were a terrible coach. you made me fall for you instead of the person i was supposed to love.”
and how you will laugh and reply, “and you were the most stubborn client i’ve ever had. but i wouldn’t have it any other way.”
But I suppose some dreams aren't bound to become real.
rqyup © 2024 – do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my content; dividers by me; likes and reblogs are appreciated !
#rafayel x reader#rafayel x mc#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#love and deepspace#lnds rafayel#lads rafayel#rafayel angst#lads angst#angst
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❝ 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒 ❞
pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!reader
summary: when he comes back from arguably most demanding races of the season, he truly wants to be cuddled up with his girlfriend especially when they haven't seen each other in two weeks.
warnings: established relationship!, mild smut (18+ MDNI), cussing. the usual. typos.
wc: 2.6k
requested: yes | no ~ this lovely request right here!
saint team radio: i wanna scream, this was supposed to be out in SEPTEMBER!!! but now it’s here 🤭. lil one shot before releasing “Break my Soul” and i hope you guys enjoy this one. plus i’m getting used to writing smut now 😧 anyways bye! love ya!
taglist: @non-stop-imagines @lorarri @thisismeracing @httpsserene @mauvecherie-writes @yeea-nah @queenshikongo3 @cherry2stems @planetmimi @alika-4466 @arshiyuh (lmk if you wanna be tagged!)
pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽 (i’m watching you 🤨)
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"I know what you are." You gasped as you watched Bella confront Edward in the forest. The morning sun was shining its rays through the large windows and sliding doors of the large house. The couch was slowly sinking you into it, the packet of cookies from your favourite bakery nestled next to your comfortable figure.
Understandably, it was quite early in the morning, 9 am to be precise, to be watching Twilight and munching on cookies but to be fair, Roscoe had woken you up for early morning snuggles. Deciding to check the time on your phone, you became distracted by your wallpaper of Lewis with you next to him with the green mountains of Bali right behind you both, flowers behind your ear to celebrate your birthday.
You truly missed him a lot, these past two weeks felt as if they dragged on and on the longer you waited to see him. Only being able to see him on your phone screen and tv, his fashion becoming a staple for you to follow almost every week. When his face appeared on screen for a post race interview, you would find yourself admiring him and completely closing off to whatever he was saying into the mics. Even seeing his car drive around gave you butterflies, just hearing his name would make you stop in your tracks every single time.
Lewis' face quickly invaded your mind, no longer focusing on the movie before you. Although you had tried to distract yourself with giving yourself tasks to do along with completing some work you probably missed, doing those things were just always better with your boyfriend around. Physically being on each other's space was something you needed desperately, a true connection when realising that you both had the love language of physical touch.
During these two week, you would resist the urge to touch yourself in thought of Lewis, deeming him to be the only one who could find your sweet spots so much better than you could. Embarrassingly enough, you had resorted to watching fan edits of him just for you to feel something. All you did was like a single video on your feed then you fell into the rabbit hole of his fans being extremely talented and feeling the way you felt but you would sleep better knowing that you had him all to yourself at the end of the day.
Snapping you out of your daily daydream about your boyfriend, your phone buzzed with a notification from the front gate of the house to say that a car has entered the driveway and you immediately jumped up in excitement, alerting Roscoe. "Come on boy, Dads is home." You smiled to the energetic dog who was eagerly waiting for you to put your slides on.
Opening the front door wide enough, Roscoe ran right past you to greet Lewis as the man was taking his luggage out of the trunk, giving his affection to his dog before standing up straight (with a bit of caution) to look at you standing just a few feet away. He studied you from head to toe, the Nike pro shorts were barely visible underneath the +44 sweater that you helped design. Your braids were fresh, nails done and from what he saw, a small but new tattoo on your hand and he swore his stomach flipped at the sight of you.
"Hey baby!" You expressed as you threw your arms around his neck, his head buried itself into your neck and your scent filled up his nostrils. "Hi." The tired voice vibrated through your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His large hands were resting on your lower back moving ever so slowly, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Moving your heads back, you gave him a sweet peck as he looked into your eyes afterwards. Studying his face a little, his eyes were a little droopy and his face wasn't as bright as you saw it on facetime hours ago. Letting go of the hug, you moved to help him with his suitcases but noticed that he seemed to walk a little funny as he walked into the house.
Finding him in the kitchen drinking a glass of water, you chose to lean back into the counter next to him. "Knowing you, I can tell you didn't eat so how about you go shower and i'll make breakfast?" You suggested and all the man could do was smile and lean in to kiss you, tasting your strawberry chapstick before going upstairs with his hand on his back.
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A hearty breakfast and him talking about how the race went in terms of strategy then a few discussions of random stuff, you both opted for chilling on the couch to catch up on a bit of TV. Lunch was ordered and you two spent the afternoon just being in each other's presence. You then decided to showcase the clothes you had bought during the two weeks he had been gone, each dress and skirt getting shorter than the last with his exhaustion preventing him from wanting to take you right then and there.
Changing back into the original outfit you had on, he quickly changed into his gym wear to work out in the home gym he had built in before you had moved in. "Will you be okay to workout, Lew?" You asked, filling the glass with small heart shaped ice cubes, ironically matching the tennis bracelet you were wearing. "I'm fine sweetie, I promise." He muttered as his eyes trailed down to your chest, the +44 sweater long gone as the day became hotter. "Eyes up here, babe." You giggled as he didn't even seem to hear you say anything.
"What?" He snapped out of it, making you laugh a little harder. "Go do your workout stuff, you dork. When you come back, we can do some skin care." You smiled as he held your hips with his grip tightened. "I can think of something else-"
"Lewis, I'm gonna bite you. Go." You narrowed your eyes at the man who walked away giggling as if he heard the funniest joke.
Nighttime was slowly approaching and dinner was already prepared, finding pesto really easy to make. Lewis was still in the home gym, your phone buzzing with instagram telling you that he posted on his story. Clicking on it, you saw how your boyfriend took a full body mirror picture with his shirt completely off and he looked a bit breathless. The lights glistened on his abs and tattoos, accentuating his tan even more. The v line was showing as his shorts sat quite low on his waist and you were left speechless, gripping the blanket so much that you could barely feel your hand anymore. Rubbing your thighs together, you tried to relax your thoughts by reminding yourself that he still has what seemed like an injury on his back.
But to be fair, nothing could stop him, not even an injury.
You tried distracting yourself from the instagram story by playing some music and doing some online shopping. Hearing his heavy footsteps enter the room, his sweaty self looked at you with a look you knew all too well but you decided to not do the deed tonight because you thought he needed to be well rested for this.
"You gonna go shower?" You stopped what you were doing and faced him with crossed arm with a little smile on your face. He came a bit closer and you backed up. "Lew, get away. You're sweaty." Your cheeks started to hurt from the smiling and all he did was open his arms as he came closer to you. "Lewis, I'm so serious. Babe wai-" You didn't even finish your sentence before you bolted, heading up to your shared bedroom and he chased after you with both your giggles filling the air.
"Baby, stop moving. I can't put on the under eye mask." You pouted, holding the cold cucumber scented applicator in your hand. "It's just cold." He muttered, holding the back of your legs as you stood between his legs. "C'mon gramps, it'll take like 5 minutes then you'll forget it's there." Knowing how he'd react to the nickname, you received the nastiest side eye you've gotten from him. Doubling down in laughter, you held onto the bathroom sink counter for dear life as you continued to laugh with him.
As the laughter died down, you fixed your braids into a bun and put your hand out for him to give up his hair tie that he has had on the whole day. "I like your earrings, love. When'd you get them?" He asked, now standing behind you as you made eye contact in the mirror. His eyes still had the same look as when he came out of the gym. "Remember that one bracelet you brought back from Milan last month? They opened a store in Central london so I think it was Thursday." You nodded as you told him, removing both your under eye masks to then fully wash and moisturise your faces.
Lewis opted to watch you complete your routine as you did like to take your time with it, the scented candles creating the perfect atmosphere. His left hand came around your waist, his other hand holding onto your hip and his head dropping into your neck with small butterfly-like kisses peppering your skin. You stopped everything you were doing to feel exactly what Lewis was doing to you, his large hands lowering down your body with each kiss.
"Lew, baby. You need to rest." You whispered, unable to speak from his soft kisses. "Missed you so much, just wanna feel you.” He whined into your neck. As he picked up his head to kiss even further, you already turned your head to look at him, your face filled with worry.
“Can you not make that face?” You slightly jutted your lip out, his face sending a completely different message. “Is it working?”
“No.” You tried your best to hide the smile from your face, your boyfriend’s face dropping at the answer. Backing away from his embrace, you walked into the bedroom, fully aware that he was following right after you.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you watched as Lewis stood in front of you then locked eyes with you. “Love, can I at least eat you out?” His whiny voice sounded out and you were fully taken by surprise. You had yet to experience this side of him in the bedroom but if it meant hearing that voice all over again, you were all in.
Not even waiting for your words, the man dropped down onto his knees, holding your thighs as balance as he maintained the eye contact with you. “Please, please baby. I’ll be so good, I promise. Won’t tease you, I’m starving. Just wanna taste you.” He rambles, his eyes slightly closed as his voice drops the closer his face gets to your thighs.
You couldn’t believe what was actually happening, so much so that it took you a few seconds to even think of a response. His chocolate eyes looked up at you with such anticipation, eagerly waiting for you to say something, anything. All you could do was nod and within seconds, he began kissing up your thighs, silently thanking the universe for bringing the two of you together.
Between her slight panting, you remembered that his back was in pain from earlier in the day, giving you an idea. “Lew.” You called out, his head rising to stare at you once more. “Lie on your back, don’t need you to hurt it more than it already is.” You said, slowly guiding him to stand up with you then push him down onto the bed by his chest. He huffed out a slight chuckle at your eagerness.
Once the clothes were off, you crawled up to straddle him but catching him by surprise, your lower body was closer to his face than he thought. Your legs were on each side of his head, your dripping core was hovering right above his mouth, he could’ve sworn he was in heaven. Gently holding onto his braids, you lowered yourself slightly yet not fully sitting, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
“Y/n baby. Sit on my face, please.” Lewis groaned from underneath you, his breath hitting your core making you slightly shiver. His large hands creeped up onto your ass, bringing you down onto his face with a grip. Once you had gotten used to him devouring you like a touch starved man, you eventually found your rhythm and began moving in perfect harmony with his tongue, slightly pulling his braids when you felt the all too familiar knot into your stomach .
Your orgasm ripped through you, your moans bouncing off the walls of your shared bedroom. When wanting to lift yourself off of him, he continued to lick and suck on your sensitive clit, overstimulating you quite a bit. Your moans grew into whimpers and that’s when Lewis knew that you were beginning to feel tired, your body slightly shaking from the intense sensation of your release.
Now having a bit more energy, you actually lifted yourself up from his mouth and wanted to go down on him as you craved to have something that would give him the same sensation that he gave you. Before you could even reach his hard on, he held onto one of your hands. Kissing your palm, he spoke up. “Can you please just fuck me? I need to feel you around me, sweetie.” Lewis asked, the same look from before wooing you so easily.
You continued making your way down on him until he suddenly flipped the both of you. “Lew! Warn a girl next time!” You wanted to roll your eyes at him but he just smiled and leaned down to give you a breathtaking kiss, feeling butterflies in your stomach once more.
“I’ve got you, baby. Just let me make you feel good.” He smirked, holding your legs to go around his waist. Once entering you, it truly felt like this should go on forever, have this night replay in your mind like a broken record. His hips snapping against yours would bring you back to reality, seeing stars once the familiar knot returned to taunt you. With the way he was pounding into you, you would’ve never thought he had back pain the whole time.
You screamed upon your 4th release, your body flopping against the sheets as you tried to catch your breath. Lewis emerged from the bathroom with a warm and slightly wet towel to gently wipe your pussy, you sucked in a breath as your sensitive clit felt the material against you.
Once fully done with aftercare for you and himself, you looked up at the man as you layed on your front to look at him laying next to you. “I truly love you, Y/n. Couldn’t thank the stars enough for you.” He expressed, the look in his eyes sending a deeper message into your soul.
“I love you so much, Lewis.” You responded and you could feel the love radiating off of each other.
This was love and you could forever drown in this feeling with Lewis right by your side.
#saint writes#f1 x reader#formula one x black reader#formula one x reader#x black fem reader#x black reader#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x black reader#lewis hamilton smut#lewis hamilton fanfics#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton fic#Spotify
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Mephiles the Mind, Iblis the Heart
Basically a breakdown of how I interpreted 06 but also a foundation I use for all my AUs.
Mephiles is highly intelligent and apathetic while Iblis relies on emotion and is more like a wild animal. Mephiles does not have full access to Solaris' time powers, but Iblis does. However, Iblis does not have the mental capacity to actually use them.
Things that are less “interpretive” and more “theory”:
This is why Iblis needed a powerful emotion to be released
In the original timeline, the one which led to Silver’s future, it was Elise’s death which released Iblis. Because the seal was broken improperly, Mephiles could not recombine with Iblis. Therefore, he would need to look for a different way, but he can’t with Sonic being there and being an obstacle (not while Mephiles is still weak). Hence why he brought in Silver—a powerful hedgehog determined to save his future no matter the cost—who is also a completely new factor to change the timeline. Silver would keep Sonic busy while Mephiles figured out how to properly release Iblis… Since letting her die didn’t work last time. When Silver began figuring out the charade, Mephiles didn’t care enough to try hard with his manipulations, especially if it meant Silver would help keep Elise alive. However, once Mephiles realized the way to release Iblis was via an extreme emotion from Elise well… how convenient that the Princess grew attached to a certain blue hedgehog. Turns out killing Sonic really was the key all along. And if you want something done right… you gotta do it yourself.
Essentially (to explain Mephiles’ weird planning in canon), Mephiles did not know the seal was reliant on Elise’s emotions in the beginning, so he sends Silver to distract Sonic while he figures out how to actually free his other half. How ironic that killing Sonic is indeed what needs to happen. Mephiles basically has a “wait, it’s actually that simple?” moment
The strong emotion can be anything—grief, anger, joy, fear—it just has to be strong. Like a “consuming your mind” kind of strong.
The original explosion which killed Elise was too sudden for any strong emotion to pop up. (Even in her last moments, she had faith Sonic would save her.)
Mephiles is the mind while Iblis is the heart. Only once combined does Mephiles—or Solaris now—actually feel feelings. However, Solaris is still adjusting after the disoriented episode of being literally split in two and so acts completely on his anger toward mortals for taking advantage of him.
At the end of 06, Solaris isn’t destroyed but rather is scattered/subdued, and everyone will already be long gone by the time Solaris’ pieces are reunited. Like “after Dark Gaia and Light Gaia have restarted the planet” kind of long time. They are gods after all. Time is different for them.
The rest of this is sparked from my “Trinity Gods” fanon. Aka, Gaia, the Master Emerald, and Solaris are the three gods who created Earth, as well as any planets prior to Earth. The Master Emerald is also called “Mother Chaos”.
While Gaia slumbers, Mother Chaos and Solaris watch over the planet to protect it. During Earth’s creation, Mother Chaos took on a physical form (ie. The Master Emerald) to live on Earth amongst its creatures. Curious about all Mother Chaos learned whilst living amongst mortals, Solaris decided to also take on a physical form and live amongst them. However, this meant limiting his ability to see the future—or rather which future would come true. Thus, Solaris did not see what the humans planned on doing with him until it was too late.
Gaia and Mother Chaos are A-Okay with Solaris destroying the planet. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time one of them has, after all. It’d be a bummer for it to end so soon, but they can just make another one. It’s because of this that they don’t interfere with Solaris’ plot… as well as the fact that their creations had hurt their friend.
It’s also this familiarity that means the Chaos Emeralds will so easily obey Mephiles. Doesn’t matter who posses them or if they’re on the other side of the planet, if the gods call, they answer.
#mephiles the dark#iblis sonic#Iblis the inferno#the flames of disaster#solaris#making this as a post I can link to for my other stuff#sonic 06#Sonic 06 theory#sonic theory#Sonic au#dadphiles au#askthesonicgods#Sonic the hedgehog#sth#sth art#sth fanart#sth idea#baguette art#baguette thoughts
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🏀 HOW TO APPROACH YOU ( 변의주 )
genre fluff , mutual pining , highschool au , euijoo x fem!reader cw i mean... property theft (reader steals ej's jersey) , ej is rly rly shy and oblivious tbh wc 1043 request @fae-renjun for euijoo + stolen jersey for the 3k event note tbh i didnt' know how to feel about this after i finished writing it. i was gonna rewrite it completely to be est rs instead but after rereading it this morning i was like eh its not that bad?? but i still don't know lol it is what it is ig net @lune-net @kstrucknet
Euijoo liked you. You were aware of this fact. You also liked Euijoo. Euijoo was not aware of this fact.
He was on the basketball team, and you showed up to every game just to watch him. Mesmerized by the way he moved on the court, guiding the ball to the net with ease, scoring dozens of points for his team without breaking a sweat. He was the MVP. You were his biggest fan.
Euijoo never tried to talk to you, despite your attempts to approach him. You would take your chances sometimes after games, sometimes before class, and on rare occasions, during lunch when Euijoo wasn’t in the gym shooting hoops. He was too nervous to talk to you, and even more blushy when you talked to him. His friends teased him about it, but you just found it cute.
The only thing that bothered you was how oblivious he was to your feelings. Weren’t you being obvious enough that you liked him? You wanted to wait until he asked you out, but the more you waited, the more you felt like he had absolutely no guts to do it. At least, not without a push.
Given your propensity for impatience, you weren’t willing to give the boy of your dreams all the time in the world to become yours, so you came up with a plan. There weren’t many things that could force Euijoo to talk to you. However there was one item that you realized would perfectly force the boy to approach you. His lucky team jersey.
You needed to somehow acquire it, though, which is where Nicholas came to your rescue. Another player on the basketball team and Euijoo’s best friend. He knew how much Euijoo liked you, and upon hearing of your plan, he was more than happy to assist.
Nicholas delivered the freshly washed jersey to you the following day. It was an orangey red with white bold letters spelling BYUN across the back. You put it on immediately, getting distracted by the lingering scent of Euijoo for a second (he smelled like oranges). This particular jersey was important to Euijoo. He wore it every time he won a game, and one could tell based on the slightly faded colour of it. Whenever he switched it out with a different jersey, he would lose. It was his good luck charm.
Now that you had it, the next phase of your plan— get Euijoo to notice you wearing your jersey— was a go.
Your hope was, after noticing that his jersey was missing and seeing you wearing the jersey, he would ask for it back. He needed it to play for practice and season finals. You were practically forcing him to talk to you, and hopefully, you could bait him into asking you out too.
But you had underestimated Euijoo’s shyness, as well as his non confrontational attitude. He saw you wearing the jersey to class, in the hallways, and at lunch. He didn’t just see, he stared. Eyes glued to your figure wherever you went.
You thought your plan was surely going successfully. He would approach you at any time and demand it back, and then you would hit him with a smooth not until you ask me out.
But… Euijoo was Euijoo. And he would not approach you.
He went to practice without the jersey, adorning another one with a much brighter orangey red colour. He played horribly, and got a few strict words about it from his coach. You watched it all happen, the missing jersey hidden under your hoodie. Euijoo spared you a few extra glances that day at practice. You only smiled at him.
The end of the season was quickly drawing near, and the most important game with it. A full month after you had pocketed Euijoo’s jersey. Still not a word about it from the boy. You knew he would have to ask you soon, though. He needed it for the game.
Thursday morning, one day before the game, he finally stopped you at your locker.
“Have you seen my jersey, Y/n?” he asked. He almost sounded too genuine and oblivious. You were confused. He knew you had his jersey. Why would he ask like that? You rolled with it, though.
“Is this what you’re looking for?” You pulled up your sweater, revealing the jersey you wore underneath, immediately recognizable by the number 8 on it. Heat crept up Euijoo’s neck.
“I… I kinda need it for tomorrow’s game.”
“Why? You have others just like it,” you said, hoping the work you put in would lead somewhere.
“It’s just that particular jersey is special—“
“—cause you always win games in it?” you completed for him, causing him to let out a breath of relief he didn’t know he was holding.
“Yeah. You get it. So, can I have it back?”
“Will it be okay? It smells like my perfume now,” you told him, smiling slightly as you watched him get flustered again at the thought. You really should have stopped teasing him ages ago, but he was just too cute not to. You fully intended to give it to him in the end, though. A few more minutes of seeing his cute flushed face wouldn’t hurt.
“It’ll be fine,” he promised. You nodded with a smile. Euijoo could feel his heart beating in his chest. He was so sure this was the fastest it had ever raced. No amount of adrenaline from basketball could get him this worked up. “Can I have it back now?”
“Only if you take me on a date,” you said smoothly. Euijoo’s eyes practically bulged out, trying to process if he had heard you right.
“A date? With me?”
“Yes. With you. You really haven’t caught on by now?”
“Huh?”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his obliviousness and how adorable his confused face was. Euijoo felt like he was floating on the clouds, no longer on this earth. Perhaps he was dreaming, and he would soon wake up to realize that this was all a figment of his imagination. There was just no way the girl he had been crushing on for so long was asking him for a date.
“I like you, stupid.”
&team taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @kpoprhia,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @blossominghunnie,,
@seunghancore,, @sobun1est,, @bananabubble,, @talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy,,
@nicholasluvbot,, @hursheys,, @loserlvrss,, @voikiraz
#fics ❀˖°#events ❀˖°#kstrucknet#lune-net#euijoo#ej#ej x reader#euijoo x reader#&team#andteam#&team x reader#andteam x reader#euijoo imagines#euijoo scenarios#euijoo fluff#euijoo fic#ej imagines#ej scenarios#ej fluff#ej fic#andteam imagines#andteam scenarios#andteam fluff#andteam fic#&team imagines#&team scenarios#&team fluff#&team fic#byun euijoo x reader#byun euijoo
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study season
fourth wing characters (Aaric, Bodhi, Brennan, Dain, Garrick, Imogen, Liam, Mira, Rhiannon, Ridoc, Sawyer, Sloane, Violet, and Xaden) x reader the ways our faves help you study for exams. words: ~900 🏷: no book spoilers, no triggers. gender neutral. and I included the girls this time!! some of these can be read as platonic and others mention kisses / cuddles, implying you’re a couple. idk, I just work here. I’m really liking this format lately, and it’s (fairly) quick and easy so you can expect more of these in the future while I procrastinate all the girlfriendverse chapters and smut I have to write lol
First, the more studious of the bunch:
Brennan is all-in, no hesitation, pulling up a chair next to you and learning this with you for moral support, but also for fun (can you believe this guy?) though you suppose it’s easier to enjoy this if it doesn’t count for a grade. Either way, he’s a very nice study partner, and he encourages you to take breaks every hour / chapter / etc. Brings snacks, too.
Violet somehow already knows all of the material, and explains it better than the textbook or the professor. Walks things back if you don’t get it and gets into the why and how, which so many teachers skip over, even though it helps explain the what (pet peeve of mine showing here lol).
Aaric’s study skills are unmatched -- years of the best private tutors money can buy really paid off. Teaches you new strategies that you’ve never heard of in your life, and when you ask, he admits a bit shyly that he came up with it himself, but it works, and you get it done in half the time you would have before. (work smarter, not harder, baby)
Rhiannon gives you the pep talk of your life (we all need a Rhiannon in our lives) and convinces you that you’ve got this. Packs you a little snack for the day of your exam with a little note reminding you that you know this, just breathe and think.
Xaden sees you struggling and forces you to take a break. During said break, he’s reading the book himself and figuring out what exactly has you so stressed and exhausted. Breaks down the tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and guides you through it -- “find three reasons why XYZ happened.” done with that? “Now make them into paragraphs.” etc etc, and an hour later, you have a passable essay.
Dain is taking this more seriously than you are, and his discipline is like no other; you’re not stopping until the work is done, or until midnight, whichever comes first (because sleep is important for the brain, or whatever. Definitely not just because he misses you and wants to cuddle).
Garrick may have no idea what you’re talking about, but he suffers through it with you, offering to let you explain things to him, because teaching is a good way to test if you understand something. Though you get what you pay for -- he’s a total smartass about it, asking questions about the littlest details even if they’re common knowledge -- he’s gotta be thorough, right?
Ridoc may be the class clown type, but he’s smarter than a lot of people think. He comes up with a bunch of jokes that actually help you remember things. Somehow manages to relate the most complex topic in your book to a sandwich, and it actually works. He’s incredibly smug about this for the rest of the week, especially when you get the highest score in the class (he’ll take payment in kisses, thank you.)
Bodhi makes flashcards with you, quizzing you and giving you a kiss if you get it right (this definitely is not a distraction, and things definitely don’t escalate from here, nope.) He’s also really good at proofreading essays, and gives excellent feedback regarding the structure and the order of the information.
Liam sits there with you all the while, completely silent, working on one of his wood carvings at the other end of the table, but you know he’s there and he’s watching -- and that provides a healthy amount of peer pressure and keeps you on task. He’s an incredibly observant person, and he can see the stress building; he knows when to intervene and suggest that you take a break.
Sloane is the best person to commiserate with. She doesn’t want to be doing this either, but she’s also incredibly stubborn, and she doesn’t give up; after a healthy amount of complaining, she’s forcing you both to keep trying until it works / until it’s done, and then you’re treating yourselves to something for getting it over with, because you deserve it.
Sawyer is gentle and supportive, having a heart-to-heart conversation with you and reminding you that yes, this is important, but the world will not stop turning if you fail one exam. He knows how it feels to be compared to his peers, especially in how long it takes you to accomplish something (poor bb) and doesn’t want you stressing yourself out about that, either.
Imogen is the opposite, all tough love, giving you gentle but firm reminders: “you didn’t make it this far just to give up,”, “I know you can do this, so do it,” but she balances it out with tender affirmation when you’re done. She’ll even let you skip out on training for the day since you’ve been studying so hard (and she takes training seriously, so this is more of a reward than it seems).
Mira’s default approach is similar to Imogen’s, but she can see that you’re reaching your limit and dials it back, being more gentle with you and doing whatever you need -- encouragement? someone to just sit there? help / explanation / etc? she’s got you covered. herds you into bed at a reasonable hour so you’ll be well rested for the classes and exams.
And all of them are incredibly proud of you for working so hard and getting good grades 🤍
#fourth wing x reader#brennan sorrengail x reader#bodhi durran x reader#garrick tavis x reader#liam mairi x reader#dain aetos x reader#ridoc gamlyn x reader#sawyer henrick x reader#xaden riorson x reader#imogen cardulo x reader#aaric graycastle x reader#violet sorrengail x reader#rhiannon matthias x reader#sloane mairi x reader#sawyer henrick#bodhi durran#liam mairi#dain aetos#aaric graycastle#ridoc gamlyn#xaden riorson#brennan sorrengail#garrick tavis#sloane mairi#rhiannon matthias#violet sorrengail#mira sorrengail#imogen cardulo#fourth wing#mine
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U think u could tell us how y/n’s mother figured out she fucked with Eita?
extra chapter: friendship
꒰ঌꨄ︎໒꒱ — part of priceless. before you ever met sae, when you were twenty there was another boy that took care of you: how your mother figured out you were fooling around with eita, and all the little things in between.
content: otoya eita x female reader. smut/nsfw. both reader and eita are great at being avoidant. pet names (baby/princess), cunnilingus, penetration, mentions of masturbation, orgasm denial, they get caught in the act. word count: 2.3k
༝༚༝༚ omg nonnie SORRY my hand slipped this turned out way longer than i thought it would be !! but yes anyway have this :D wrote this at work btw & didn’t proofread so you have been warned !!!
this is bad. so bad.
you really shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be testing the waters like this. you’re at a recon for the school, taking a tour of the hotel for the event that you’re all going to be ushers at. but that doesn’t seem like the case when you and eita seemingly love to do whatever you want, whenever you want.
ever since that night at the club, the first time you’d ever let eita in, it’s become addictive.
the distraction. you never have to think about what bothers you whenever he’s around, whenever he looks at you with those lust-blown eyes, whenever his fingers trail to your inner thighs; always a tell-tale indication of what he wants, what he needs from you too.
he’s your best friend, and this is not what best friends should be doing, but you crave for the way his tongue can make you forget, even if just momentarily, about all your problems. you really shouldn’t be doing this, getting distracted so many times especially during exam season and especially not in a public place but the both of you can never help it.
not like the fleeting touches in the bus helped. eita’s always the one who instigates it, his fingers always finding some way to sneak onto your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh before testing your limits, creeping higher and higher until he drags you into a vacant hotel room left unattended by one of the staff, to the safety behind closed doors where no one would know of your little antics with each other.
and sometimes you think he’s been waiting a long time for you to submit to him, with the way he’s always hungry for you, or maybe that’s just how he is—you wouldn’t know. but his many other girls would, though now he’s too preoccupied with you to pay attention to anyone else.
he’s staring down at you as you lie down on the bed, dress hiked up over your chest, his fingers trailing down your chest to your underwear, hooking under the waistband and tugging on it. a little tilt of his head as he appreciates what he’s about to undress completely.
he really shouldn’t take his time, given that the staff could come knocking on the door at any moment. but he’s already locked the latch so they shouldn’t think about getting in if he isn’t done with you yet.
“pretty,” he comments, voice hoarse with arousal as he swallows the lump in his throat. “this new?” because he swears, of the many times you both have done it by now, that he’s never seen you wear such lingerie, satin mixed with lace, in black and so, so enticing on you.
you giggle under your breath, his pants growing visibly tighter as he continues to stare at you. “does it matter?” it is new, and you’d partly just wanted to see what eita looked like when he really likes something, and he’d once said that he likes black lace. an off-handed answer or not, he gives you the reaction you’re looking for, hands desperately grabbing onto your hips as he kisses you as if he hasn’t seen you in forever.
but he’s seen you just two nights ago, squirming under him on his sheets. he’s seen you three nights before then, when he willingly ditched a date for you. he’s seen you many times in ways no one has ever seen you before and right now he’s going crazy because why has he never noticed that you’re so fucking ethereal like this?
your mouth squeals out his name as he marks you a little too hard on your neck, the image of you one day somehow not being solely his managing to irk him in some way. but that’s the deal, that’s what he told you—that this is temporary, for fun. and you’re keeping your end of the deal; you’re never clingy, and you never act like he’s yours. that’s good, because getting attached just sounds like such a hassle and eita’s fine with this.
he’s fine with your hands unzipping his pants, pulling it down as desperately as he’s undressing you; the thin material falling to the floor as he breaks the kiss to look at you, all bare underneath him. you always avert your gaze when he does this—the only time he’s ever seen you shy. you’re otherwise always brazen with a sharp tongue that seeing you like this, trying to contain your voice as he massages your breasts, somehow turns him on so much that he can’t help but tease you, to try to break through your guard.
eita scoffs, a smirk on his face as he tauntingly mocks you. “usually you’re so loud when you talk back to me in public,” he hums, tongue flicking against your nipple, your back arching in response. “what happened to you now, huh? what’re you holding back for, princess?”
his fingers glide across your skin slowly, down your chest to your hips to your pussy, his smirk growing wider when he finds that you’re absolutely soaked and he’s barely done anything yet. he supposes that’s the adorable part of you—since he’s your first, you’re always so excitable, so vulnerable.
“eita, i swear to god—”
he pushes a finger in before you can cuss him out, disturbing your train of thought as he sucks on your nipple, getting what he wants and hearing you moan out his name in a way only you can—so saccharine and sinful that it makes him even harder.
you drive him absolutely crazy.
“look at yourself,” he says, pressing his forehead against your cheek, head tilted towards the mirrored wall just beside the bed. your walls clench around his finger and he chuckles, pressing a kiss on your cheek. “such a good girl, letting me do what i want to you.”
you’re never used to this, to letting eita completely have the upper hand, to let eita talk to you like you belong to him, but you’re helpless whenever it comes to this. your whimpers are enough to let him know that he has control, and he always knows how to make you feel so good that you willingly submit.
“fuck,” you groan as you feel him pushing another finger inside you, your eyes squeezing shut, the tears flowing as you start to feel overwhelmed by it.
your phone rings at the worst time, and you’re about to just ignore it when eita does one better. “answer it,” he tells you, after looking at the caller ID. it’s just kimiko, the student who’s put in charge today, responsible for overseeing all of you and making sure you all know what’s going on before the actual day.
“but—”
“answer,” he tells you again, his fingers stopping midway, a mewl leaving your lips as you feel the high you’re chasing abruptly disappearing. he pulls his fingers out, showing you just how wet you are, the string of your slick being pulled apart by his fingers.
eita’s sexy and cruel and downright irritating when he knows he’s got the upper hand, but you have no will left to resist, wanting the release he can provide you, your hands already reaching out to answer the phone, hoping to make it short and sweet.
he knows what you’re thinking, you’re not as elusive as you think in these situations. that’s why he purposely latches his mouth onto your clit the moment you start talking, your voice quivering as you feel his tongue licking quick fat stripes up the nub. you can’t even wait for kimiko to respond, hurriedly telling her you and eita are busy before hanging up, your fingers tangled in his hair as your thighs wrap around his neck.
“something wrong, y/n?” he teases, his chuckle sending light vibrations that make your spine tingle. but he knows you love this, love the way his tongue rubs circles around your clit, love the way he’s telling you to cum for him, love the way he’s taking such good care of you.
the way eita moans as he feels you close to your high always tips you over the edge, and every single time he denies you of it, making you beg for him. always a sadist, but it’s not like you can resist.
brows raised in mockery, the back of his fingers brushing against your cheeks as you plead with him to please fuck you. yet he always caves in almost immediately, a dangerous sign that you can get him to do almost anything you ask.
eita taps his dick against your pussy, your slick collecting on his tip, his mouth falling open at the sensation, at the mere thought of being inside you. he’s so, so tempted fuck you raw but that’s not a risk either of you can take.
he’s confident he can pull out, definitely. but maybe if it’s anyone but you. if it’s you, he might just lose himself. he’s already jerked himself off to the thought of cumming inside you, at the thought of filling you full and watching as his cum flows out of your pretty little cunt.
so no, he can’t fucking risk taking you raw because he might actually doom the both of you. reluctantly, he grabs the condom from his pants pocket, long discarded on the floor, and rolls it over his length, the way your eyes are filled with desire already threatening to send him spilling before he’s even inside you.
you’re so, so dangerous.
so fuck, why is he so hooked?
his eyes gaze at where you’re connected to him, the greens rolling to the back of his head as he feels you clenching around his dick, sucking him in. he’s had sex too many times to count, with multiple girls of multiple origins—his head falls back, tilted to the ceiling because he’s so, so close but fuck if he’s going to cum before you do—and yet you’re the only one who feels this good.
what is it about you?
he can’t fucking think straight, not when you keep chanting his name like that—it’s already committed to his memory by now. it’s his favourite melody; the way you say his name.
“eita, fuck i can’t—”
eita’s eyes fly open, looking at how your hands are gripping at the sheets, at how your face is positively lewd that it makes all those videos he watch go to shame, at how the condom is soaked with your juices. he can’t take it, his fingers digging into the plush flesh of your thighs, your name flying out of his mouth in half moans, something he’s too ashamed to admit he only does with you.
“just cum for me, baby,” he pants, the pet name rolling off his tongue before he can realise it but the both of you are too lost in how you feel that it flies over both your heads. “good girl, come on, cum.”
his skin slaps your skin once more, thrusting hard one last time as he releases, your gummy walls clenching around him as you let go at the same time, your nails on his biceps finally relaxing, nearly drawing blood.
eita’s panting, falling onto you as he squeezes the last drop out, wishing that it was spilled inside you. you let him rest against your body, like you always do because you’re nice, taking the time to catch your own breath. it’s like routine by now, the both of you barely discussing about what you just did, acting like it’s a part of a normal day, like best friends fuck each other everyday, and then go back to resuming what you’re supposed to do.
that is, getting back to kimiko and the others. a part of you feels a little guilty; even though you don’t know her aside from your one-minute interaction earlier today, you know by the look in her eyes when she stares at eita that she’s probably got a crush on him. being a pro soccer player in university as well as being part of a band in school, you’re not surprised that girls are practically lining up for him. yet here he is, too busy for other girls because he’s busy satisfying you.
both of you are too absorbed in your individual thoughts to realise that the door is already opened now, when you’re still pulling your underwear up halfway, when eita’s still standing there in just his boxers, and the both of you are staring dumbly at the person in the doorway because you both recognise them.
there she is, your mother in all her demonly presence, scoffing with her arms crossed as she looks her daughter up and down like she isn’t entirely surprised. beside her is the current man she’s making use of, a poor thing you don’t even want to associate with because she’s going to discard him as soon as he does something wrong.
sometimes you wonder if she ever loved your father or if he was just one of these… poor things.
“get me a different room, i don’t want to sleep in one where such loose kids have been in,” she commands at the man, as if she doesn’t know you, glaring at both of you with disgust. though you and eita look at her with the same look in your eyes.
the moment she leaves the room, you feel eita’s warmth surround you, but your hands stay at your side, both anger and despair welling up in you at the same time.
this is temporary. this is just a distraction. but eita will do his best to make you forget, no matter what—because he’s seen you that day, broken and wailing, blood all over your hands. he’ll do anything not to see you like that again.
there’s a certain selfishness in his actions, but his kiss stuns you anyway, because you know it’s probably not just a simple kiss but lack the energy to dissect it anyway.
“just forget about her, okay?” he whispers in your ear, the gentlest tone you’d ever heard him in.
for now you just let it be, and so does he. things are easier if neither of you question this. for the sake of your friendship.
yeah, that’s what it is.
#bllk smut#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#otoya x reader#otoya eita x reader#otoya eita smut#blue lock smut#otoya x you#otoya x y/n#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#otoya eita#otoya smut#૪ aeri’s fics !
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good afternoon here's my big rant on my pet peeves for subtitles in movies and tv
This is a post that I’ve thought about making probably for years now but never got around to. I might add more later if I realize I’ve forgotten any
When it comes down to it, the purpose of subtitles is this: to reflect exactly what the audience can hear, precisely when it can be heard. If you fail to do this, your subtitles are bad and you should feel bad. Although I don’t have concrete examples for most of these off the top of my head, I promise I have experienced them all firsthand at least once.
-> Watch for spelling and typos. Obviously.
-> Syncing issues.
This should go without saying, but the captions should be synced as closely as possible with dialogue and sound effects. Subtitles that are out of sync are worse to me than no subtitles at all. They’re unbearably distracting and I have to turn them off. I’m fortunate enough that I can keep watching without them, so imagine how frustrating this is for someone who needs to keep them on no matter what.
-> Jumping the gun.
This is basically an example of out-of-sync subtitles that are slightly too fast, but it gets its own category because it ruins the viewing experience in its own unique way. In particularly dramatic scenes, actors will often draw out their lines or pause between phrases. Captions sometimes fail to reflect this by displaying the entire sentence all at once, allowing the audience to read what someone is about to say before they actually say it, which deflates all the dramatic tension of the scene.
-> Phantom captions.
This one is less self explanatory, but it’s kind of similar to syncing. Sometimes there will be significant intervals of time between lines of dialogue, especially after a scene ends and a new one begins. The interval may include music, sound effects, or complete silence, but what I’m calling a “phantom” is a caption that stays on the screen after that last line of dialogue is delivered until the next line is spoken. I don’t remember what I was watching, but there was one that was glued to the screen for SEVERAL MINUTES over what was supposed to be an atmospheric break between scenes and it drove me nuts. In my experience this happens more often with older subtitling for DVDs and some old videos and less with modern streaming.
-> Straight up spoilers.
Sometimes, a character will speak whose true identity has not yet been revealed to the audience. If I’m not supposed to know the character’s name yet, don’t just… tell me right there in the captions whenever they say something. Descriptors like “disembodied voice”, “man”/”woman”, “mysterious figure”, etc. will suffice.
-> Lack of musical descriptors.
It usually helps to describe the genre or emotion of the music that’s playing rather than just writing [music] or 🎵. That being said, if there is a song playing that’s particularly well known in the mainstream, I think it’s useful to actually include the name of the song. This one I do have a concrete example for: in Arrested Development, Gob always blasts The Final Countdown during his acts. But the captions on my DVDs for the show always describe it as [stagy pop]. Like yeah I would say that song is some pretty stagy pop, but I think a lot of the humor comes from knowing that it’s specifically The Final Countdown by Europe because it’s such a perfectly corny selection that Gob would make.
Another musical failure is not transcribing pertinent lyrics. If the song is playing in the background, then that’s understandable and it can be kind of distracting if there’s dialog happening on top of it because the audience isn’t actually meant to be paying close attention to the song. But if the song is front and center, like for a musical number or montage, then the lyrics can be pretty important. Last year when I watched Arcane on Netflix with my family (a recent, high budget production from the biggest streaming platform ever), the show had the nerve to write [man rapping] over a musical sequence. Imagine if all subtitles ever just said [person speaking] for the entire movie.
-> Affectations.
If a character starts using a silly voice or accent, or if the sound of their voice changes in any way, describe that. If the audience can hear the difference, the subtitles should reflect that difference. And they should reflect it informatively and accurately; for example, don’t just say [mock accent], but specify [mock French accent].
-> Paraphrasing.
I don’t even know why this is an issue, but it’s alarming how many times the subtitles just… straight up don’t match what the characters are actually saying. It’s like the transcriber was forced to write all the captions from memory, so they kinda sorta say the same thing, but the wording is different and some sentences or phrases are missing. When I brought this up with my mom she theorized that the transcriber was working off the script for the movie because hey, that’s all the dialogue already written down, right? But it completely fails to account for revisions, improvisation, or actors delivering their lines even slightly different than how they were originally written.
And last but certainly not least, one of the biggest offenders in bad subtitling…
-> [Speaks foreign language]
If someone says something in another language, please, for the love of god, do not just write [speaks foreign language] and call it a day. Specifying the actual language is an improvement, but this descriptor only works if the audience members are truly not meant to know what’s being said (which is sometimes the case). If a character is only saying a single word or phrase in another language, transcribe it. As in, write down the actual words that they said. If you don’t speak that language, find someone who does. You are insane for transcribing a character saying “hola” or “abuela” in an otherwise English sentence as [speaks Spanish] (real examples I saw respectively in Rango and JANE THE VIRGIN. THERE’S SO MUCH SPANISH IN THAT SHOW).
If the audience is supposed to know what someone is saying in another language, English subtitles will usually be hardcoded. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LET THE CAPTION SAYING [SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE] COVER THESE UP. This is actively impeding understanding, not helping it. Jesus christ
* Please keep in mind that I’m not deaf or hard of hearing and I don’t have auditory processing disorder; I almost always watch movies and tv with subtitles whenever the option is available because it helps me absorb information better. If I don’t even strictly NEED subtitles and these are issues for me, I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for those who rely on them more heavily. I invite you to add your own perspective!!
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this was supposed to be shorter, but i ended up exaggerating. also posting now because i really don't know if i would have the courage to do it during the day while aware of the mistakes that the story has :)
high chance that at some point I will delete it, or not. anyway
Words: almost 900
you find yourself sprawled across the grand, uncomfortably soft bed in the room, your gaze fixed on the luxurious ceiling, distracted by the figures drawn above. the blanket is too low to even cover your feet, the cold of the night hitting your skin protected only by the fabric of your pajamas.
you look to the side and see Fox curled up on part of the bed, his back turned to you and the upper half of his body completely exposed, unlike the lower half. you feel tempted, a desire you haven't felt for a while.
it wouldn't hurt to try, right?
you put boredom aside and decide to make the effort to get closer to him, being careful so that he doesn't notice the changes in weight on the bed. you get close enough to have him within arm's reach, reaching out to gently run your fingers over Fox's fur. your skin instantly picks up the capillaries, not so bold as to actually touch, but enough to feel something. your eye widens, your cheeks slightly burning, and then you move.
you run your fingers down his back, feeling his fur, tracing the scars that adorn his age-affected skin, noticing the details that you never took the time to pay due attention to. it's interesting, and most importantly, it's something to keep your mind busy.
you lower your fingertips, and lower and lower, getting close to the part of the body where his tail starts, about to feel-
“what are you doing?", comes a harsh, deep and authoritative voice, and perhaps above all, angry.
your wrist is violently grabbed by one of Fox's hands, stopping your activity of exploring his body, your gaze seconds later moving to meet his. furrowed brows deepen the wrinkles that decorate his face, amber eyes glaring furiously at you.
he didn't expect you to do that.
“nothing. i'm just touching you”, you answer honestly with a calm and collected attitude, not realizing the need to lie about something so small that was more than obvious.
“touching me? without my permission?”, the way he takes great offense at your little act is ironic when you remember that he scourges your body until you open up, not caring about your consent or the pain inflicted on you.
it's strange, of course. you never had a good relationship with Fox, let alone initiate something as intimate as simply touching him while he sleeps. it's weird when you two point your nails and teeth at each other at least most of the time.
“i was just trying to do something good”
“oh, really? you, who never accepted my affections or showed gratitude for keeping you alive?”
you feel as if a thousand arrows have been aimed at your heart and shot all at once, the discomfort is too real for you to let go, but you really don't want to let it show.
“okay. yeah, fine. have it your way", you quickly remove your wrist from his grip, his gaze never leaving you even as you begin to distance yourself, returning to your spot on the bed, away from him and still without the blanket. you don't hear him say anything or feel him move from his spot, but you know he continues to watch you with distrust.
you turn your back and close your eye, trying to fall asleep as you curl up into yourself, the cold that afflicts you no longer just physical, but emotional.
you don't know how many minutes pass, but when your eyelid threaten to cover your vision, you feel something envelop your body. warm, soft, and furry.
not only does the warm, soft fabric of the blanket catch you, but someone else's body does too. you feel Fox's claws caressing your arm lightly, his chest pressed against your back. you feel his breathing behind you, controlled, not really relaxed.
“i don't know why you did that", he whispers, the tone lower than the one he usually uses. “you've never done it before, why now?”
do you really need a reason for what you did?
“i don't know. i wanted something different. i wanted something that wasn't just fighting or hate sex”, you open the only eye you have to look at the wall, not finding the strength to turn your head and see him. “maybe i was actually trying to do something good”
you can't fool yourself into thinking that this doesn't sound weird. Fox, then, has every reason to doubt you even more. and yet, your voice sounds genuine, not with the intention of deceiving.
perhaps a part of you really wants to make your relationship more pleasant, despite the intrigues that often come to light countless times. or maybe you're just tired of fighting for something over and over and over again. a genuinely true change would not be terrible, quite the contrary.
"i kind of liked how you touched my body," Fox confesses quietly, warming up to you in both a literal and figurative sense. his claws no longer seem to awaken a fight-or-flight instinct within you. "you really seemed fascinated by it…"
in one of the rare moments, you can tolerate and, incredibly, appreciate each other's presence, so different from the dynamics you usually have. it's refreshing in a way you can't put into words
even if you know that this will not last
#btd#btd2#boyfriend to death#boyfriend to death 2#ren hana#tpof#the price of flesh#tpof fox#tpof ren#writing
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I think the part I hate the most in Mockingjay Part 1 is how after the District 13 bombing, when theyre trying to film the propo, Katniss is like, "He's gonna kill Peeta if I keep being the Mockingjay!" because in the book, she breaks down for literally, and I mean LITERALLY, the exact opposite reason.
“Try the line again,” says Cressida. “ ‘Thirteen’s alive and well and so am I.’ ”
I take a deep breath, trying to force air down into my diaphragm. “Thirteen’s alive and so —” No, that’s wrong.
I swear I can still smell those roses.
“Katniss, just this one line and you’re done today. I promise,” says Cressida. “ ‘Thirteen’s alive and well and so am I.’ ”
I swing my arms to loosen myself up. Place my fists on my hips. Then drop them to my sides. Saliva’s filling my mouth at a ridiculous rate and I feel vomit at the back of my throat. I swallow hard and open my lips so I can get the stupid line out and go hide in the woods and — that’s when I start crying.
It’s impossible to be the Mockingjay. Impossible to complete even this one sentence. Because now I know that everything I say will be directly taken out on Peeta. Result in his torture. But not his death, no, nothing so merciful as that. Snow will ensure that his life is much worse than death.
Up until then, Katniss had been terrified that Snow was going to kill Peeta. It's during the bombing that she finally realizes that Snow would lose his leverage against her if he took Peeta out of the picture.
It’s on the third night, during our game, that I answer the question eating away at me. Crazy Cat becomes a metaphor for my situation. I am Buttercup. Peeta, the thing I want so badly to secure, is the light. As long as Buttercup feels he has the chance of catching the elusive light under his paws, he’s bristling with aggression. (That’s how I’ve been since I left the arena, with Peeta alive.) When the light goes out completely, Buttercup’s temporarily distraught and confused, but he recovers and moves on to other things. (That’s what would happen if Peeta died.) But the one thing that sends Buttercup into a tailspin is when I leave the light on but put it hopelessly out of his reach, high on the wall, beyond even his jumping skills. He paces below the wall, wails, and can’t be comforted or distracted. He’s useless until I shut the light off. (That’s what Snow is trying to do to me now, only I don’t know what form his game takes.)
Maybe this realization on my part is all Snow needs. Thinking that Peeta was in his possession and being tortured for rebel information was bad. But thinking that he’s being tortured specifically to incapacitate me is unendurable. And it’s under the weight of this revelation that I truly begin to break.
Peeta's death would mean she had nothing left to lose. But the idea that her actions as the Mockingjay would result in Peeta being tortured? THAT is what makes her fall apart, which is what the Rebels were afraid of happening and is what motivated them to finally arrange the rescue mission. They were very much aware that Peeta was intentionally being kept alive and tortured to punish Katniss and, aside from Finnick, they were all actively trying to keep Katniss from figuring that out.
“Cut,” I hear Cressida say quietly.
"What’s wrong with her?” Plutarch says under his breath.
“She’s figured out how Snow’s using Peeta,” says Finnick.
There’s something like a collective sigh of regret from the semicircle of people spread out before me. Because I know this now. Because there will never be a way for me to not know this again. Because, beyond the military disadvantage losing a Mockingjay entails, I am broken.
The movie just completely ruined it by having Katniss think Snow was warning her that he was going to kill Peeta. The whole point was that she realized Snow was NEVER going to kill Peeta. Death would have been a mercy, and Snow was not merciful. He was going to keep Peeta alive to torture him in response for everything Katniss did for the rebellion then stick him on TV to show her.
#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#I mean they even kept the scene where she talks to Finnick about it and then completely undercut it a few minutes later like what???
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