ale-wosofan

[ale-wosofan]

oh

rtve gracias por tanto, perdón por tan poco

The RTVE camera person giving us what we want.

[ale-wosofan]

their fits are fireeeee

[ale-wosofan]

Heyy, just wanted to let you know that these past couple weeks I've been extremely busy and now I also have to study for my exams (send help), so I haven't been writing a lot. I'll try to keep working on fics whenever I have time but I don't know how long it'll take me to post something again :(

[ale-wosofan]

Ona, please learn to communicate ffs😭

amnesia - part 8 (ona batlle x alexia putellas x reader)

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7

a/n: sorry guys, had to repost this one due to an issue with the title! anyway, when are these girls going to learn how to communicate??

-------

“Do you want to do something with Ale tonight, the three of us? I don’t think you’re ready to go out yet, but we can celebrate your leg finally being free,” Ona suggested as the two of you walked out of the hospital. You still had crutches, but the cast had been taken off, and it felt like your leg could breathe again. 

“That sounds great!” you smiled. Ona had barely mentioned the captain since you’d brought her up in conversation just a couple days ago, and you weren’t sure if she had been upset about Alexia’s feelings towards you, but clearly it couldn’t be too bad if she was suggesting doing something together. Plus, you missed the blonde - it had been a while since you’d seen her, if you didn’t count all the times you’d looked her up online.

“What do you want to do? We could stay in, or go out, I guess,” Ona trailed off, looking at your leg uncertainly.

“Go out! Please, for the love of god, I cannot take being cooped up in my apartment any more. It’s bad enough not being able to play football, but not being able to go out much has been killing me,” you implored, eyes wide, and Ona laughed. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll go out. Nothing too crazy, though. There’s a nice restaurant in your neighbourhood we used to go to, we can go there,” she said.

That’s how you found yourself sat between the two women in a booth tucked away at the back of a local restaurant and bar. It was busy, but you supposed it was a Friday night, and it really did feel good to be amongst people instead of in your apartment. 

Something was… off, however. You weren’t sure what it was exactly, but the vibes were slightly strange, like the air was vibrating. You figured that maybe you were just so not used to being around so many people anymore and tried to brush it off. 

“How was training today?” you asked during a lull in the conversation. Glancing down at your drink, you didn’t notice the way Alexia’s and Ona’s eyes met across the table.

“Good,” Alexia said smoothly. “We all miss you, though. Are you looking forward to coming back next week?”

“I won’t be back, not properly,” you grumbled. “I’ll just be there for physio and occupational therapy.”

“You’ll be there, though! It’ll be nice to have you around again,” Alexia smiled warmly at you, resting a hand on your shoulder for just a brief second. 

“I guess,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm up a little. 

“Si, the three of us again, it’ll be just like old times,” Ona added. 

“Old times? Were the three of us together a lot?” you asked, frowning. You knew that you were close with both of them, but you’d assumed that when you and Ona started dating, Alexia would have felt awkward being around the both of you and would have hung back a little. 

“Oh yeah, we were inseparable,” she said, resting an arm on your shoulders. You stiffened slightly under the touch, but Ona didn’t seem to notice. “We were always together. The girls on the team used to joke about all three of us dating, not just you and me.”

“Huh.” Leaning away from Ona’s arm, you moved to get up. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

Once you were in the bathroom with the door locked behind you, you let out a sigh. Splashing water onto your face, you frowned at your reflection in the mirror. You felt weird. Things felt different. Ona was behaving strangely, much more jovial than she had been the past few days, and you felt a flash of irritation. She was behaving like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t been in a coma, like you hadn’t lost your memories, like she hadn’t lied to you. And then there were your feelings about Alexia, which you were still confused about. Frustration about the whole situation bubbled up inside you, and you splashed cold water onto your face again, trying to calm down. 

“What are you doing?” Alexia hissed as soon as the bathroom door swung closed behind you. 

“What do you mean?” Ona asked. 

“You’re acting weird - you’re being way too casual about this, you’re pushing it too hard and too fast!” the blonde said, keeping her voice quiet, as if she was worried you’d hear. “Look, we said we would slowly introduce her to the idea, maybe let her think of it herself. We’re just meant to be making small suggestions, comments, that kind of thing - not telling her that people thought all three of us were dating!”

Ona scowled, not wanting to admit that maybe Alexia was right, that maybe she had been laying it on a little too thick. “We have to make it obvious enough, though, otherwise she won’t even notice it!”

“Of course she will! She’s not stupid, Oni,” Alexia frowned.

“Who’s not stupid?” you asked, appearing from behind the booth. It looked as though the two had been deep in conversation when you left the bathroom, and as you approached the table you heard Alexia’s statement.

“Oh, no one!” Ona said quickly, before Alexia even had a chance to open her mouth. You narrowed your eyes slightly, the speed at which she spoke not doing her any favours. 

“Right…,” you trailed off. So, Ona thought you were stupid. Great. You sat back down between the two, but this time you stayed just out of Ona’s reach. 

“Y/N, how have you been feeling, now that you’ve been home and out of the hospital for a week?” Alexia asked.

“Um, okay, I guess. It’s been a lot,” you admitted, grateful for the change in topic. “I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed sometimes. And I’m frustrated that I don’t remember more, I feel like I should.”

“It’ll come, with time,” Alexia said, placing a hand on your knee. It was warm, comforting. “And if not, we’ll do our best to fill your mind with new memories, isn’t that right, Oni?”

“Yes!” the brunette nodded emphatically. “We can make all kinds of new memories!”

“Thanks, guys,” you gave them both a small smile. 

“How about I get us some drinks?” Alexia suggested, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

As you watched Alexia head towards the bar, Ona hummed thoughtfully.

“Ale looks really good tonight, don’t you think?” she asked.

“Hm?” your eyes flew to Ona, hoping she wouldn’t be able to notice the way your cheeks were flushing rapidly in the dim lighting. “Oh, um yeah, I- I guess?”

“You guess?” Ona let out a gentle laugh, looking over at you. “Please, she’s gorgeous, we all know it. And I thought you said you wrote something similar in your journal?”

“Oh, I, yeah, she,” you stumbled over your words, Ona’s teasing tone catching you off guard. It hadn’t even seemed like she was listening when you’d told her about that. 

The brunette leant in close to you, her hand on your thigh. “Are you blushing, bebé?”

“What- no!” you abruptly moved away from her, letting her hand fall to the seat. What the hell was she doing? Why was she even talking about this?

“It’s okay if you are, you know,” she mused, as if you hadn’t even said anything. “I’d understand if you still had a little crush on her. Who wouldn’t?”

That was enough. Your heart pounding, blood roaring in your ears, you stood up. “I need some air.”

You left the restaurant as fast as you could with one bad leg. You didn’t even notice Alexia leaving the drinks at the bar to follow you outside, and jumped when she put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Chiqui, are you alright? What’s going on?” she asked, her calm voice grounding you.

“Yes, I- no, I don’t know!” you groaned, putting your head in your hands. You didn’t understand what the fuck was going on, why Ona was talking like that, why she was saying those things. Even if she did happen to know how you were feeling, why would she be teasing you about it like that? And what you’d overheard earlier, how she clearly thought you were stupid? 

“I want to go home,” you said quietly. “Actually, no, I- can I stay at your place tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, but what about Ona, don’t you want to stay with her?” Alexia frowned.

“No, I don’t want to talk to Ona right now,” you said, a familiar feeling of hurt washing over you as you thought about her words to Alexia. “Can we just go?”

“Okay, chiqui. But I’m going to go and tell Oni, okay? It wouldn’t be right to just leave her.”

Ona watched Alexia approach the booth, a bad feeling in her stomach. She should have run after you, she should have done something, said something. 

“Is she okay?” the younger player asked, worry gnawing at her insides. 

“Si, but…,” Alexia sighed. “She wants to go home, to my place. She wants to stay with me tonight.”

“Okay, should I come too?” 

“No, Oni, I’m sorry. I think you upset her,” Alexia said gently, not wanting to hurt Ona’s feelings. “But I’ll keep you updated and I will see you tomorrow at training, okay?”

“Oh. Okay.” Ona’s voice was small, and she looked down at the table, refusing to meet the captain’s eye. As she watched Alexia leave, she could feel a pit in her stomach, growing and growing, and she hoped it would swallow her whole.

[ale-wosofan]

17 with cloé lacasse

puppy

Cloé Lacasse x R

R begs Cloé for a puppy but she refuses. R brings one home anyways.

warnings: none!

a/n: I think this story is the one I’ve enjoyed writing the most so far. Please, send more of this🥺 Hope everyone likes it as much as I do!

-----

You’ve screwed up, you’re very much aware of it. But you couldn’t help yourself. It was so simple, so easy to do.

And Cloé is going to break up with you when she finds out. Maybe breaking up with you is an exaggeration, but she will be mad, really mad. It’s not like it was completely your fault, you were persuaded into doing it, tricked by pleading eyes. You’ve also been feeling lonely lately, with your girlfriend constantly busy with all the games and training, so you kind of knew something like this would happen eventually.

It gets worse when she’s away for international break, an ocean from you, and you have no one to keep you company. So, really, this happening makes perfect sense.

“My girlfriend is going to kill me, did you know that?” you ask the golden retriever puppy sitting in the passenger seat “Maybe you and I should move to Alaska, that way she can’t find us.”

He looks at you and tilts his head, letting out a soft bark in response.

Shaking your head, you recall the conversation the two of you had a couple weeks ago.

-----

“Cloé...” you start.

“No. Whatever it is, no”

You huff in annoyance “I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“Yeah, honey, but I know that face and you’re about to ask for something that you know I won’t like.”

Climbing in her lap, you give your girlfriend a sheepish smile.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

“Sure,” she says rolling her eyes.

Taking Cloé’s hands and placing them on your waist, you tilt her head a little bit and start leaving kisses around her face.

“I’ve been thinking. You know how I used to have a dog when I was a kid?” your continue trailing kisses down her neck and hear your girlfriend hum when you hit a particularly sensitive spot “Well, I thought we could adopt a puppy.”

“What?” Cloé asks pushing you off herself “Absolutely not. Nope. Not happening.”

“But, love-” you whine.

“No buts.”

“Baby, please,” you try again, pouting “Just hear me out.”

“Oh, I have heard you loud and clear” she answers leaving a kiss on your forehead “And we’re not getting a dog.”

Cloé gets up from the couch and walk into the kitchen, you quick to follow after her with the intention of continuing your conversation.

“Why not?”

“A dog takes a lot of responsibility. You have to feed it, take it out on a walk a few times a day, you also need to train it. And don’t even get me started on vaccines and the vet,” she lists “It’s just a lot, and you know it.”

You frown “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of a dog.”

“You can barely take care of yourself” you open your mouth to protest –even though you know she’s right– but your girlfriend stops you “Honey, we’re not getting a dog and that’s it. And I don’t want to have this conversation again, so don’t even try.”

Cloé walks up to you and pecks your lips multiple times, trying to kiss your pout away. It works and, in just a few minutes, you’re smiling again.

-----

Opening the door to your apartment, you beg the universe that your girlfriend hasn’t arrived home just yet. However, never being a lucky one, you hear rustling and soft footsteps walking towards the entrance.

“Hi, baby,” Cloé greets you with a smile once she’s in front of you.

“Hi.”

Your girlfriend frowns a little bit when you make no move to kiss or hug her.

“What do you have there?” she asks pointing behind your back, where the puppy you have just adopted is starting to get restless in your arms.

“Okay, don’t get mad please,” you beg.

Cloé looks at you suspiciously “Honey, what did you do?”

“Promise me you won’t get mad.”

“I’m not promising you that,” your girlfriend scoffs “You look extremely guilty, so I don’t trust you right now, not a little bit.”

You open your mouth to answer, but you’re quickly interrupted by the sound of a bark behind your back, just where your hands are hidden.

Cloé’s jaw drops in shock “You did not!”

“Surprise?” you ask putting the puppy right in from of her face.

He squirms a little bit in your hands and licks you girlfriend right in the nose.

“Honey! We said no dogs!”

“No,” you resort placing the puppy in her arms and pointing at her “You said no dogs, I didn’t say anything. You didn’t even let me say anything!”

“Are you serious right now?” she asks frowning at you, but you see her beginning to pet the puppy.

Taking the dog from her, you place him in the floor in front of you.

“Come on, you can explore the house now. And you,” you say to your girlfriend “are going to listen to me before you say anything else. A co-worker of mine has a dog and she just had puppies. He needed to find people who would adopt them, and decided to show us some pictures to see if anyone would be interested. And I really wanted to say ‘no’ but, love, I work from home most days and I spend the mornings alone; whenever you leave for international break I stay here all by myself. It gets lonely, and I just wanted someone to keep me company. But if you really don’t want the puppy I’ll make sure to find him a home.”

Your girlfriend lets out a sigh.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I mean, considering you tell me all the time, I’d say I do.”

“Smartass” she mumbles “Well, I love you. I love that stupid big heart of yours and how you have a smile that could convince me to do basically anything.”

“Does that mean we can keep it?” you ask looking at her excitedly.

Cloé rolls her eyes “Yes. But, you have to promise to take good care of him and train him. I don’t want him causing any trouble.”

“Whatever you say, love.”

[ale-wosofan]

Hii, I've been in London for a few days (had a lot of fun visiting the emirates btw) so I haven't been able to write at all, but I'm posting the Cloé Lacasse fic in a few minutes 🫶

[ale-wosofan]

Okay, so I've basically finished the Leah fic, but I left a few things unwritten because I didn't know what to do with them at the time and now I have a bunch of unfinished paragraphs that I really don't want to write😭

[ale-wosofan]

When is the Leah fic going to be posted? No pressure or anything

Hii, it's almost finished but I still need to go over it a few times to make sure everything is right, so it'll still take a little while

[ale-wosofan]

How did we get so lucky omfg😭

…so that’s Spains ticket signed sealed and delivered lmao

[ale-wosofan]

Hi how are you and love your fics quick question do you write for Amanda ilestedt

Hii, thank you so much! And yes, I'd be willing to write for her, just send any request you have😊

[ale-wosofan]

To the person that sent the Cloé Lacasse prompt THANK YOU. I have a super cute idea that I'm going to start working on as soon as I finish my classes :)

[ale-wosofan]

This looks fun! Send me a player and a number and I'll write something :)

more otp dialogue prompts <3

as a follow up to this post

1. “Okay, maybe I have a crush on you! So what?” 

2. “It’s not like this with them.”

3. “Tell me to leave and I’ll never bother you again.”

4. “This doesn’t change anything between us.”

5.  “Just take me home.”

6. “I appreciate the effort but this is all wrong.” 

7. “I don’t want anyone else.”

8. “What could you possibly be this stressed about?” 

9. “You haven’t changed at all.” 

10. “I never want to be without you again.”  

11. “You tricked me.”

12. “You can’t tell anyone. Seriously. Even them.”

13. "You want me, don't you?"

14. “If you do that one more time I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” 

15. “I can’t believe you remembered.” 

16. “You won’t believe me.” “Try me.” 

17. “I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

18. “You shouldn’t be here.” 

19. “I think about you all the time.”

20. “Why do you insist on misunderstanding me?”

21. “Then take me with you.”

22. “I think I missed you more than you missed me.” 

23. “I thought I’d lost you.”

24. “Don’t say that to me. That’s not fair.”

25. “Well, since you asked nicely...Sure."

26. “You used to have feelings for me. Admit it.”

27. “So you don’t regret it at all?” 

28. “I’m not ready to let you go.” 

29. “Don’t lie to me. I was there.” 

30. “Leave me alone.” “Is that really what you want?” 

31. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.” 

32. "I can't hide it anymore. I have to tell you how I feel."

33. “I don’t want them. I want you.”

[ale-wosofan]

I love you

Alexia x R

R realizes she’s in love with her girlfriend

warnings: none!

a/n: just something I wrote after seeing Alexia up close during a game and realizing I might actually be in love with her. Almost a thousand words of pure fluff. Enjoy!

-----

The smell of coffee and sound of Spanish music playing wake you up. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you stretch your limbs, taking your time to enjoy your morning before having to get up.

After a few more minutes you finally decide to leave your bed. Taking a hoodie and putting it on, you walk into the kitchen. The sight you find, however makes you stop in your tracks.

Alexia is cooking –what seems to be– breakfast for the two of you, which is not weird at all. Except it is because she’s doing it in your shirt.

This shouldn’t surprise you as much as it does, considering the two of you are at your house and Alexia wasn’t planning on staying the night. But there’s something about seeing your girlfriend wearing your clothes that just makes sense. You feel warmth spreading all through your body and can’t help but stare at her a little bit longer, trying to memorize the scene in front of you.

“You could be helping me instead of looking at me,” Alexia’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts “Buenos días, amor.”

“Good morning,” you answer smiling at her, still a little distracted.

Alexia lets out a laugh at how zoned out you seem to be and suddenly it hits you.

You’re in love with her.

You don’t know for sure what makes you realize it; maybe it was sleeping in the same bed as her, waking up to the sound of her cooking in your kitchen, seeing her in your clothes, or simply the domesticity of it all.

“Amor?” you hum at your girlfriend’s question “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

“Yeah, yeah, I just- I forgot I told my sister I would call her when I woke up,” you lie “so I should probably do it before we have breakfast.”

“Oh, alright. Okay, you do that and I’ll finish cooking in the meantime,” she answers walking up to you and leaving a kiss on your forehead.

As soon as you’re out of earshot you take your phone begging the universe your sister will pick up.

“Hello?” you hear a very sleepy voice ask.

“Help. I need help.”

“Well, that’s obvious. I’m surprised it has taken you this long to realize,” you roll your eyes at your sister's antics “What is it?”

Taking a deep breath and making an effort to lower your voice, you try not to think about it too much before opening your mouth to answer.

“I’m in love with Alexia. But, like, really in love. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest every time she looks at me, or smiles at me, or touches me. I love the sound of her laugh, and how calm she looks in the mornings. I love that we’re the complete opposite and yet we complement each other perfectly. She’s just- I’m- I don’t know. I’ve been in love before, but this feeling? This feels fucking amazing, like something I’ve never felt, like I had never truly lived until I met her, you know? And now everything just makes perfect sense because she’s by my side,” you stop for a moment trying to gather your thoughts because you’re not sure you’re making a lot of sense right now “We’ve only been dating for a few months, but I’ve woken up today and she was there, standing in my kitchen, wearing my clothes and cooking breakfast for me and I just knew it. I love her.”

There’s silence at the other end of the line for a few minutes. You’re about to hang up thinking your sister has fallen asleep when she speaks again.

“Well, it seems to me like you already know how you feel. Now you just need to tell your girlfriend.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?” you ask frustrated “I don’t even know if she feels the same way!”

“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” you hear your sister mumble “That woman loves you, probably more than you think. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t realized you love her until this moment. Now, about how to tell her? I have no idea, but you figure it out, I’m going to sleep.”

And just like that your sister hangs up.

You walk back into the kitchen with no plan but determined to tell Alexia how you feel.

“Breakfast is almost ready, you should get the-”

“Alexia” you interrupt her.

Looking up, your girlfriend stops what she’s doing when she sees how serious you look and nods her head, indicating that you have her full attention.

“What is it? You just used my full name so it seems pretty important,” she says letting out a nervous laugh.

“No, it’s, um- it’s not anything bad, I promise” you move towards her and take her hands in yours “I just- I love you. And, listen, you don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel the same, but I just really needed you to know.”

You bite your lip waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. Instead, your girlfriend puts both of her hands in your cheeks, forcing you to look up at her. You barely have any time to process what is happening before her lips are on yours, kissing you with purpose. After a few seconds the two of you separate, Alexia resting her forehead against yours.

“I love you,” she whispers against your lips and letting out a laugh “So much.”

[ale-wosofan]

game maker, game changer, game winner.

[ale-wosofan]

hi,

i don’t usually come on here to say these things but it’s kind of very much crossed a line so please hear me out…

just wanted to say to the community that reads us writer’s fics, for free mind u, that telling writers to off themselves is not funny xx

you’re given something free to enjoy, that REAL people put their hard work and effort into, that can take hours or days or weeks to write, and you repay them by wishing them death and saying horrible things to them. all you’re achieving is making people wanna stop writing on this app.

if you fucking losers wanna say things so bad and be outright horrible to people, turn yourselves off anonymous u fucking pussies.

i’m lucky enough that i don’t get messages myself cos my asks are basically empty, but all your actions have is negative repercussions. you’ve driven away one of my favoutie mutual writers who is a lovely person, kindly helped people with their personal problems with the safety of anonymity, and wrote some of the most quality fics i’ve ever read. and now you’re doing it to other writers.

if you have something against the writer’s work or writer block them! it’s a simple click of a button, no need to get all outlandish and horrible about it…

it’s fucking childish behaviour and you need to fucking grow up. get a fucking life.

remember we aren’t slaves for your entertainment. we are real people, in the real world, with real lives. please treat us like it.

(excuse my language, but technically if you are on my blog you should all be adults and be able to deal with it, thanks!! if you’re not an adult, why are you here? please leave)

[ale-wosofan]

not gonna lie it’s quite shitty of Arsenal not to post congratulations for laia winning the nations league tournament icl, cmon guys do better she played and WON the whole tournament? And you posted for the other girls on intl break??

[ale-wosofan]

i'll angel in the snow until i'm worthy

putellas!reader [p2 to make it through the winter if it kills me] tw: contains descriptions of self harm. a long look back at what happened a year ago, when alexia found out. a brief glimpse into the present.

“Alexia,” you called. Your tone didn’t reflect the urgency of the situation, and Alexia didn’t think to be alarmed when she answered you. 

“In the kitchen.” She replied, assuming you would come to her. 

“Alexia,” you yelled again. This time, some fear leaked into your tone, and you knew your sister had heard it. Her footsteps were loud, stomping down the hall, and to the door of your room. She pushed it open without a second thought, eyes widening in panic. 

“Fuck.” To her credit, Alexia moved fast. She was grabbing a towel from the linen closet and sprinting back to your side before you had time to try to say anything, pressing it down on your leg hard. 

“Okay, okay. We’re okay. Everything is fine.” You weren’t sure if your sister was reassuring herself, or you. 

You didn’t know what had happened. One second you were tracing the familiar lines on your leg with your finger, the next, you had a blade in your hand, and you’d pushed just a bit too deep. It was bleeding. A lot. You didn’t know if you needed stitches, if something was wrong, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to deal with it. In your moment of panic, you called for Alexia. You trusted her to fix it. To fix you. 

Alexia’s eyes were stuck on you, stuck on your leg. Your shorts were pulled up, and if Alexia had ever thought that this was an accident, she no longer did so. The scars marking your skin told a different story, and as your sister stared down at your leg, her horror was evident on her face. 

Alexia was speechless, and your sister was never speechless. If she were to be honest, she didn’t know what to  do. Here you were, in front of her, clearly not doing well. And she hadn’t noticed. You’d been doing this for long enough for there to be numerous scars on your body, and she hadn’t noticed. 

You, too, had no idea what to say. Calling for her had been an instinct, but now that the panic had left your body a bit, you regretted it with every fiber of your being. She was going to freak out, you were sure of it. 

She kept her composure longer than you expected, long enough for the bleeding to stop. She pulled the towel away from your leg and inspected the damage that you’d done. It wasn’t as bad as it had seemed originally, and you sighed in relief. At least you wouldn’t be dragged to the hospital. Before you’d really even had time to really be grateful for that, Alexia was fixing you with a piercing stare, a slew of words leaving her mouth that reflected very clearly her feelings on the situation. 

“What the fuck is this, nena? What were you thinking? I- I don’t understand, what would possess you to do something so incredibly stupid. This could have gone deeper, this could have needed stitches. What then, hmm? This is not okay, pequeña, and it stops, now.” 

Alexia wasn’t even quite sure what she was saying, her heart racing in her ears as she panicked. She was terrified. You always put on such a happy exterior, and it was beyond frightening that she’d had no idea, not even a clue, that this had been going on. You lived with her, you spent everyday together, and she’d been completely oblivious to the fact that you were hurting so badly, you’d turned to this. She felt like she’d failed you, failed your mom, failed everyone. She was supposed to take care of you, and protect you.

None of these sentiments were expressed, though. Instead, she practically shouted at you, not sure what to say or do, other than make sure, make completely sure, that you’d never do this again. A pained look flashed across your face, before it was replaced with one of defiance. You stood up, shoving your sister away from you. 

“It’s fine, Alexia. This is none of your business, please, just leave.” 

Alexia scoffed, rising to her feet too. “Leave? Leave. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again. I’ll take your door off the hinges if that's what it takes but this cannot happen again, do you understand?”

Your sister didn’t understand. Never in her life had she felt the need to do something like this, and her mind was not focused on trying to understand where your head was at, it was only on making sure you were safe. She didn’t know that you needed this, more than you needed anything. It was the only thing you had, the only thing you could rely on to make yourself feel better. She couldn’t take this away, you wouldn’t survive it. 

“Fine, I won’t do it again. Get out.” You lied, shoving her towards the door. Your sister shook her head, seeing clearly through your lie, pushing you right back. 

Despite her shove, she forced herself to take a few deep breaths, to calm the situation down. “No. We need to talk about this, we need to fix it. Give me your phone, I need to call mom.” Alexia reached her hand out, freezing at the look on your face. At the mention of your mother, all the color drained from your face, and you stepped backwards, shaking your head frantically. 

“Alexia, don’t you dare, mom does not need to know about this, you can’t tell her, you can’t tell anyone.” 

“I have to tell people to get you help, nena, mom needs to know, the club needs to know,”  Alexia rationalized, stepping closer, her hands raised in a soothing manner. 

“NO. Alexia, you cannot tell anyone this, you can’t. I don’t need help. There is no issue, I am fine. I won’t do it again, I promise, Alexia, I promise. Please, just please don’t tell anyone. Please.” You begged, tears beginning to well in your eyes. 

Your sister’s frustration only grew. How could you say you were fine? How could you say you didn’t need help? It was absurd, completely absurd to her, that you could think this was okay. 

“Pequeña, either there is an issue, and you need help, or there is no issue, and you just wanted my attention. You have it, sí? So which is it?” She spoke slowly and carefully, only realizing she’d said the wrong thing only when you flushed red with anger, hands connecting with her chest again, harder this time. She stumbled backwards, not expecting it, and you moved right past her, fleeing through your bedroom door. 

Attention. Attention? How could she say that, how could she possibly think that? You didn’t want her to know. This was your thing, it was none of her business. It had nothing to do with your self centered, overbearing sister, and it made you livid that she’d think to say that. You ran down the stairs, shorts rubbing painfully at the open wounds on your leg. You weren’t quite sure where you were going, but you couldn’t be here anymore, not with Alexia. Not if she was going to insist on talking about this, insist on acting like you’d done something horrible. 

“Come back, now, pequeña, don’t you dare leave this house.” Alexia shouted after you, rushing down the stairs just a second too late, the front door slamming shut just before she reached it. She was panicking now, panicking for real, as she threw the door open and stepped outside, just in time to see you start her Cupra, backing it out of the driveway. Your sister stood frozen, watching as you drove away, so worried she thought she might be sick. 

She didn’t know where you were going, or what you were going to do. You’d taken the only car at home, and she had no way to go after you. Alexia stepped back in the house, looking for her phone. She needed Olga to come home, now. Olga would know what to say, she’d know where you were going. She was perfect like that, knew you almost as well as Alexia did. When your sister lost her head at you, Olga was the first one to calm things down. Alexia needed Olga, now, more than she’d ever needed anyone in her life. 

-----

You didn’t go far. Only a few blocks to Mapi and Ingrid’s apartment, parking the car, and taking the elevator up to their floor, pitifully knocking on the door, hoping to god they were home

Mapi knew. She’d known for a few weeks, after she’d caught a glimpse of your leg when you hadn’t changed quick enough in the locker room. Unlike your sister, she hadn’t freaked out. She’d picked you up later that day, making an excuse that she needed your advice on a gift for Ingrid, driving you guys to the beach, before she brought it up. Mapi was kind, compassionate about it. She told you what you needed to hear, realizing that you were not quite at the point of stopping. Mapi knew she had to discuss this delicately, that pushing you too hard too soon would only do the opposite of what she wanted. All she asked of you was that you talk to her more. She’d promised you that she’d help you figure everything out, that you’d do everything at your pace. She’d promised she wouldn’t tell Alexia, if you promised to be honest with her. You’d kept her promise, and she’d kept hers. You were probably only a few minutes from calling her and asking for her to come get you when you’d panicked, and decided to call for your sister. Mapi always knew what to say after- not making you feel guilty, or stupid, but not sugar coating everything either. She’d told you, about a thousand times, that if you needed her, to call or come over. No matter what. 

You were still pretty closed off from her, and Mapi wasn’t expecting you to take her up on that offer. She moved quickly, though, when she pulled open the door and caught sight of you, arms wrapped around yourself, shaking enough for it to be visible. 

“Hey, nena,” she murmured, guiding you into the house and right into a tight hug. “What happened?” She asked, making eye contact with Ingrid over the top of your head. Ingrid knew too, mostly because Mapi didn’t keep things from her girlfriend. You trusted Ingrid, too, as much as you trusted Mapi, even if you didn’t rely on her in the same way. 

“Ale knows,” you cried. “I cut too deep and I called for her and she freaked out, Maps, she was so mad,” 

This wasn’t good. Mapi knew Alexia well, and knew how quick she was to respond with anger when she was scared. There was no doubt in the defender’s mind that this is what happened. If past fights were any indication, you’d likely fled before Alexia could really understand what was going on. You were Mapi’s priority, though. She took a calming breath, before pulling away and putting her hands on your shoulders. “I’ll take care of it, alright? Just try to relax. Go with Ingrid, she’ll patch you up. I’ll call your sister.” 

“Mapi,” you began, not feeling at all interested in facing your sister anytime soon. 

Mapi could be strict when she wanted to be, though, and she shook her head firmly. “No, she needs to know you’re okay. Go with Ingrid.” 

Reluctantly, you turned to where Ingrid was waiting for you, first aid kit somehow already in hand. She led you out to their little terrace, settling you both in chairs before she asked you to roll up your shorts. To her credit, she didn’t flinch, only blinking a few times before she got to work cleaning and bandaging. 

“You know Mapi wants another cat?” She said after a minute, glancing up at you. You choked out a laugh, wiping at your eyes. 

“Bagheera is not made to be a sibling, she’s much too spoiled for that.” 

“That’s what I’ve been telling her, but you know how she gets.” Ingrid agreed, very easily distracting you. You fell into conversation with her, most of it at Mapi’s expense. As if Ingrid wasn’t cleaning your cut, as if she wasn’t bandaging the wound you’d inflicted on yourself. 

-----

Inside, Mapi was trying to prepare herself to call Alexia. Your sister would not be happy that Mapi had known about this and kept it to herself, but the defender had been doing what was best for you. Her plan was to get you to tell your sister eventually, once you’d warmed up to the idea a bit more. It was too late for that, now, so she clicked Alexia’s contact. The speed with which your sister answered clued Mapi into how truly panicked Alexia must have been. Alexia was famously awful at answering her phone, but she must have had it right in hand, waiting to hear from you, before Mapi had called. 

“María,” Alexia began, seconds away from begging Mapi to help her look for you. 

“She’s here, Ale. She’s here, she’s with me and Ingrid, and she’s completely fine.” 

“She- she’s there? With you?” There was a pause, muffled voices hitting Mapi’s ear as Alexia assumedly relayed the information to Olga. “Mapi she’s hurt,” 

“I know. Ingrid’s taking care of it. Why don’t you come over?” 

“You know? She told you? Why are you being so calm about this María?” Ever observant, and ever suspicious, Alexia was alarmed at how little surprise and anxiety was notable in her best friend’s voice. 

“She told me. Just come over, Ale, we can talk about it. Bring Olga, she makes you act like less of a crazy person.” 

-----

Alexia must have done some thinking on the short drive to Mapi’s because she came in guns blazing. Mapi was being too calm about this. The seemingly random increase in time she’d been spending with you was now making more sense. Mapi had known. Mapi had known that Alexia’s baby sister was hurting herself, and the defender hadn’t told her. 

“You knew.” Alexia accused, pushing past Mapi to enter the apartment, Olga trailing behind her. Mapi nodded her head. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.” 

“She wasn’t ready for you to know. She didn’t think you’d react well, and clearly she was right.” There was no malice behind Mapi’s words, but Alexia responded like there had been. 

“How I react is none of your business, María. Where is she? I'm taking her home.”  

“She’s on the terrace with Ingrid.” Alexia stopped her pacing, turning towards the sliding door, spotting the back of your head through the clear glass. Mapi stopped her. 

“Not yet, we need to talk first.” She said carefully, not backing down when Alexia turned back to her, the captain’s face fixed with an intense, fury filled expression. 

“María, I appreciate you taking care of her, but I am taking my sister home. Now. I’ll deal with you later.” 

Mapi shook her head, looking to Olga for help, knowing that although she could probably stop Alexia from going out there to get you, she’d rather not have to do so. Olga stepped closer, placing a careful hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Alexia’s body deflated at the contact, and she turned towards the brunette, suddenly looking much less angry, and much more upset. 

“Let’s hear Mapi out, okay? I know you’re mad, but she’s your best friend, and you trust her. If she didn’t tell you, she had a reason. If she wants to talk before we take pequeña home, she has a reason. Ingrid’s got your sister, let’s just take a moment to relax.” 

As if hypnotized, Alexia nodded gently, flopping exhaustedly onto the couch. Mapi took a careful seat in the chair across from her, while Olga sat next to Alexia, keeping a calming hand on her leg. Privately, the defender wondered how differently this would be going if Olga wasn’t here. All her teammates gave her so much shit, constantly, for being completely whipped for Ingrid. Though this wasn’t a story Mapi would ever tell, she wished, briefly, that she could present the evidence that her tough captain was down just as bad for her own girlfriend. 

Mapi took a breath, thinking carefully about how she wanted to start this. She wasn’t sure how to make your sister understand, but she’d try her best.

-----

Ingrid could keep small talk up for a long time, it turned out. Through the raised voices, and even when they quieted down, Ingrid kept you talking. Eventually, after you glanced back inside nervously for the 5th time that minute, the Norwegian gave up on distracting you. 

“She’s not mad at you. I don’t know what she said, and I know it probably feels like she’s angry, but she’s not. She’s scared, and she’s worried about you. She just loves you a lot, and she’s not sure what to do.” 

Hesitantly, you leaned over, resting your head on Ingrid’s shoulder. “She’s going to make me stop.” 

“You were always going to have to stop. This isn’t healthy. Alexia is going to be more intense than María was, but she was always going to do everything she could to make you stop, to help you get better.” 

“She asked me if I was doing it for attention.” 

Ingrid sighed. Sometimes, she wished her normally level-headed captain was more level-headed when it came to the people she loved. That intensity was what made Alexia, Alexia. A fierce love that knew no bounds, though it had its drawbacks. 

“You’re not.” Ingrid dismissed. “Even if you were, elskling, that doesn’t make you a bad person. You need help. If you were trying to tell your sister that in this way, it just means you need help. You’re sick, honey. You need help, you deserve help, and if I know you’re sister at all, she’s going to get you help if it’s the last thing she does.” 

That, at least, you agreed with. 

-----

When Mapi was finished giving Alexia a long lecture, a role reversal if either of them had ever experienced one, she walked to the door, knocking softly. Ingrid led you back inside, taking in the very grim expressions on everyone’s faces. Alexia looked destroyed, honestly, and Ingrid knew it was a combination of factors; guilt that she had missed this, and guilt that she’d been so harsh earlier. 

Your sister didn’t move when you walked in, but Olga did, pressing a kiss to your forehead, before pulling you in close. You clung to her, and your sister watched out of the corner of her eye, the way you collapsed into her girlfriend without a second thought. She’d never felt worse in her life, never felt like she’d failed so greatly. The feeling only grew when Olga released you, and you finally looked at your sister with so much apprehension that Alexia wanted to cry. 

You didn’t move any closer to your sister, and you didn’t look at her again, instead focusing your attention on Mapi. 

“Nena, do you want to stay here tonight? You can go home and talk to Ale tomorrow.” Mapi offered. 

Your eyes flickered to your sister, shocked when she didn’t object. Instead, she nodded stiffly, speaking more to the ground than to you. “If you want to stay, you can. I’d rather you come home, but if you would feel better here, then I want you to stay.” Alexia paused, looking hesitantly between Olga and you. “We don’t need to talk tonight, I won’t call Mom, I won’t tell anyone. I… we will do what makes you comfortable.” 

You looked between the older girls, finding everyone’s attention fixed on you. They were giving you control, it seemed, truly allowing you to decide what you wanted to do. It calmed you, no longer feeling completely powerless. And even though you were hurt, and angry with Alexia, even though you kind of wanted to shove her again, you could tell she was trying. Trying to make up for what she’d done and how she’d acted. You knew Alexia, and you knew she was probably terrified right now, and having you stay here would probably keep her up all night. You loved her too much to stress her out like that. And if Alexia stayed as calm as she was now, you’d feel much better at home. 

-----

Alexia had promised you, and Olga, and Mapi, that she wouldn’t make you talk tonight. It was proving difficult, however, more difficult than she anticipated, as the three of you sat in the living room, none of you paying attention to the football match playing on the TV. You’d wanted to go to your room, but the look of pure panic on your sister’s face when you headed for the stairs was enough to have you turning around, albeit grumpily, to join the two older girls in the living room. 

You didn’t particularly feel like talking. Your frustration with your sister was fading rapidly though. Her eyes flicked over to you every minute, it seemed, and she’d attached herself to Olga the minute the brunette had joined her on the couch. Alexia wasn’t one for PDA, not in front of family or anyone. What she was doing couldn’t even really be considered PDA, but it was more than Alexia usually allowed. She’d captured Olga in a half hug, wrapping her arm tight around her and pulling the brunette into her chest. Olga had allowed it willingly, tangling her hand with Alexia’s, knowing she needed the comfort right now. If she was seeking it out so openly, neither you nor Olga could really even guess what was going on inside her head. 

As time passed, Alexia remained firmly wrapped around her girlfriend, looking over at you every few seconds, as if to assure herself that you were still there, still safely next to her. You felt more and more that you had to say something. Anything, to assure Alexia that you were alright, at least for now. You weren’t going anywhere. She didn’t need to worry so much. Of course, that was something she’d been hearing her whole life, and it wasn’t something you’re sure she’d ever listened to. 

The problem was that you weren’t sure what to say. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but you couldn’t stand the anxiety radiating off your sister any longer, so you reached out your hand, laying it on the couch by her. Alexia grabbed it instantly, squeezing tight, and you heard her let out a relieved sigh. At least now, she wasn’t staring at you anymore. 

It was another 20 minutes before you spoke up. “Ale, I’m really sorry.” For 20 minutes of thinking, it was admittedly rather pathetic, but it was something. 

Your sister and Olga looked at you instantly, Olga immediately shaking her head at you, nudging Ale when she didn’t respond right away. 

“You don’t need to be sorry. I shouldn’t have made you feel like that before. I didn’t understand, I don’t really understand, but I will do whatever you need from me. Just talk to me, please, that’s all I need from you.” 

There was a choice in front of you, one you were conflicted about. You wanted to talk, but you didn’t know what to say. You wanted to stop, but you didn’t know how. You wanted to feel better, but you weren’t sure that was possible. You could keep doing what you’d been doing. You were still alive, that proved that it worked, at least a bit. Or you could put your faith in your sister, who was absolutely desperate to help you. Alexia was good at fixing things. You hoped that applied to people too.

-----

Alexia thought about that day a lot, and the days that followed. It always struck her that even in some of your toughest moments, you worried about her too. That’s what came with being sisters, she supposed. She wasn’t your parent, and she knew that. Most of the time. You worried about her just as much as she worried about you, though. Even when you were angry, when you had every right to be angry, you still reached out to hold your sister’s hand, to make sure that she wasn’t too stressed. 

As she stood, with you still wrapped up tightly in her embrace, Alexia remembered how hard it had been for you last time. How hard it had been for all of you. It would be hard, again. Your sister knew you wouldn’t think you could do it again. She knew that you could. 

Alexia had always believed in you, almost to a fault. She’d gotten you through this before, and she’d do it again. No matter what it took. 

-----

not promising a part 3, but IF there was going to be one, let me know what you'd like to see.