#now back to uni hell
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Bubbles
#this has been sitting in my folder for soo long i finally decided to finish it#now back to uni hell#jojolion#josuke higashikata#josuk8#gappy higashikata#josuke 8#jjba#fanart#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojos bizzare adventure#art#digital art#jojo#jojo fanart#myart
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Fastest Wei Wuxian for his BIRTHDAYYYYYY
#this to I Know the End by Phoebe Bridgers#i actually wanna do a lil animatic that song sigh#i love Wei Wuxian so much#because whenever there was like an active flashback in MDZS he’d be like: damn what does this yiling laozu BITCH got up his ass????#as if he wasn’t like. going thru all the horrors ever#he’s so insane I think he should be studied under a microscope#anyway now I must go back to comm and uni hell#mxtx#art#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fanart#wei wuxian#wei ying#yiling laozu#yiling patriarch#魔道祖师#夷陵老祖#魏无羡#忘羡
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you all know that audio from bladerunner? "you look lonely i can fix that"?? my brain wouldn't let me rest until i haven't drawn that with Sun n Moon
but jokes aside, really self-indulgent comic bc both Security Breach and Ruin came out when i was at a low point mentally and helped me greatly just be able to move forward and get through each day (and i won't even be getting into how much these 2 fictional robot jesters have helped me refind my passion for drawing)
i really hope that more people can relate to this :))
#anyways i mean it when i say my brain wouldn't rest until i whipped my pencil out n started drawing#tbh i stumbled upon the audio waaay back like 5-6 months ago??#but just now like literally just now i though#damn that REALLY fits Sun n Moon#i think it might be bc this semester was really stressful for me#and this last month has been hell#i was honestly drained physically and mentally#but i managed to go through each day and move forward#n just when my whole energy was running out n just when i had a couple of days left where i had to work more than my body could carry#right then Ruin came out and it was like;; really a breath of fresh air#my brain was suddenly thinking about the lore and theories and not anymore stressing abt projects and exams#while i still had to work Ruin gave me a push to be able to finish what i had to do#now i'm taking a small 2 week break where i'm gonna go easier with uni work and letting my body heal itself :))#but anyways enough rambling n everything#i really hope more of y'all can relate to this comic :))#now onto the tags#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf superstar daycare#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#moondrop x y/n#sundrop x y/n#tw eye contact#doodles#traditional doodle#comic#Ghost doodles
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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i'm back bitches
#my mental health was being spicy#because men suck and situationships are hell#and uni had me wanting to end it all#and i was trying not to develop a drinking problem again#so i took a break#and now i'm back#because i finally have the capacity to deal with tumblr#rants and ramblings
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no big updates because i finally got a full-time job, and i have a lot of commissions and trades to draw. BEAR with me here guys 🥱
#fallout#fnv#courier six#oc: wendy#oc: aletus#he was supposed to be a goat but i recently found out that its an acronym for 'greatest of all time'#which he's not#chicken suits him better#ALSO if yall interested#i really like my new job#i was scared but my colleagues are genuinely so nice and the work is fun#i initially left uni because of how fucking alone i was and my untreated autism made me terrified of doing ANYTHING in public#it was. cosmically bad. that bad i fucking left the campus as soon as i could and just came back home 😭#but now im here and i like my job and my mental health is not declining and im fine :) for the most part#these two semeters in hell were actually useful tho#i realised im asexual + i improved my english#YES for everyone asking YES aletus is a history teacher 😭😭😭
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#i'm about to start crying#In the library#My own#Maybe this will age badly maybe I will fail on January 10th#Hello from the queue ! I will be back soon ! Or not !#For someone who hasn't have a good time at uni and has been working full time for years now I sure as hell feel sad that this might be over
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First time in two months that I don't have to set an alarm clock for tomorrow and don't have to get up at a specific time to study or sit for an exam... I have truly forgotten what being relaxed felt like.
#im not. Fully relaxed tbh. because i have started classes at the second school i got into. and uni classes start next week#so mornings will be for uni classes which means waking up at 7am latest#and afternoon for other institute classes which means returning home at 10pm#but at least no more exams. no more 'memorise this NOW or stress to hell and back even when trying to rest'#so hopefully that means less nauseating constant fatigue and less stomach cramps the moment i eat even a little bit of bread#because the above is basically what my daily life has been like for the past month after it became clear exams would last-#-way longer than normal. woohoo!#at least we're done now tho and i did my absolute best. i have no regrets on that front
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SCARLET
MAUVE
BLUSH
THISTLE
HONEYDEW
LAVENDER
SAFFRON
SAGE
CRIMSON
BURGUNDY
IM GOING TO CRY OMG
YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLY SWEET THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH
#IM NOT GOING TO CRY#I AM CRYING#im literally gonna have to go get some tissues cause I'm actually crying now /pos#You are just so sweet#thank you so much#it means the world#corner answers with major#holy hell#i inspire you?!#All i did was bully some blorbos for a bit!#thats literally the sweetest thing just ever#its the highest form of compliment#a colab you say?#huh i wouldn't be opposed to the idea#maybe after whumptober is over and i get back into the swing of things with unravelling and taking notice#and the uni(College) assignments calm down a little#we could totally do something#give it a few weeks then send me a note#we can see what we can do
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the sleep deprivation from 3-6am last night actually made me want to die and now im like damn it was that serious huh
#LIKE I HATE IT!!!#im literally ILL i was exhausted all day so youre telling me we're just not gonna sleep???#you know its bad when you realise you slept 3 straight hours and are like yay!!!!#it hasnt been that bad in a while though so im like...is this just what i have to live with now#i'll probably tell my doctor when i have to discuss my blood test anyway#but uk doctors would rather kill you than prescribe sleeping medication if youre like under 50#can't even get melatonin over the counter like what the hell.#anyway im a stereotype of myself bc i had a dream that i went back to uni to steal their copy of what belongs to you by garth greenwell
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Okay I’m finally excited abt term starting now this is gonna be GOOD
#it might just be that I just watched queer eye. who knows#but I’m like. actually sorting out a pretty significant amount of the things all in one go bc this is how I do things apparently#saltatory evolution. anyway#I’m gonna go back to uni and see my FRIENDS#I’m doing a bunch of stuff in freshers week bc I’m running a stall in freshers fair and then there’s ice hockey which is gonna be insane#at the start of the year it’s SO busy and I gotta run it and it’s gonna be stressful as hell but so fun#even the times when it’s super busy and I have to do things more than play it’s good it’s a rlly nice atmosphere#and I made plans to go skating with some of my friends after we finish setting up the stall on the Tuesday#and I’m getting a bunch of stuff for my room!! I have a rug and I’m finally getting a sun lamp#and stealing some photos and I’m gonna get some nice ones printed. definitely buying another poster#and I WILL make the kitchen nice this year if it kills me I wanna have people over and actually eat there sometimes#and I’m getting some new clothes!! and I’m gonna get some when I’m back at uni so it’s lower pressure#oh and I actually realised that even though it’s Hard I kinda like the molecular biology module I’m doing#I think it should be manageable if I keep up with it and I have all the things set out to do that#AND a free enough timetable that I’ll be able to keep up with it with a little effort#I’m gonna get a planner or something I think bc they’re fun to write in and it’ll be nice to have everything in one place#OH OH AND IVE MADE PLANS TO COOK WITH MY OTHER FRIEND WHO LIVES LIKE FIVE DOORS DOWN#which is gonna be SO nice#I’m gonna tell my goddamn flatmate to keep his shit off the kitchen table#and I’m living with people I actually like now#with a bunch of my other friends next door#and one of my best friends will actually have free time this year!!!! she had none last year we’re actually gonna be able to do things#this is gonna be a good year I’ve decided I don’t care I will MAKE this year a good year#it’s gonna be a good year.#luke.txt
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My brain when I read two books and wants to quit my job: what if you could go back to university, it was fun right? 🤗
Me: You're not helping, shut up please.
#this is Satan himself talking to me#i don't even understand why I sometimes have these thoughts crossing my mind#university was hell#had no money#major depression and anxiety#barely survived the whole process and got my diploma#the licence diploma that I've never ever retrieved#and same for the book publishing diploma#because I was hit by the hard fact that i decided to take the less job giving direction#nobody give a fuck about literature and humanities#and for the publishing sector#it's very much closed#and i was hit by the fact that i would never get there#because there's a major money glass ceiling#like i could not just go move to Paris like the out of touch with reality teachers said#and have opportunities#so now I'm stuck with a shitty job#and even if i went back to uni what for???#like yes if I'd go to master level i would be able to specialise in what i like#which is sff#and i actually have many idea of thesis djdjdbsbsnz#but if nobody give a shit about literature in the job marketplace#let me tell you that french academia is the most snobbish elitist academia to ever exist when it comes to literature#like i can't even begin to explain#for most of them authors like Tolkien Dick Asimov or Herbert are like nothing#doesn't matter that they are literal fathers of whole genres#and idk there's now queer studies#and queer x science fiction is really an angle that could be very interesting to work on#but that doesn't change the fact that even if my fantasies i had a master or a doctorate#it would be useless because this doesn't give you a job and i don't want to be a teacher
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Its funny having a different appreciation for black dresses while being a NEET and while actually leaving the house... on the surface youd think that sort of music is gonna be less relatable once you start talking to people and find friends offline but its actually more relatable in a different way... autism freakout way
#barking#just my personal journey with the music i find it fun#especially peaceful as hell...#it was funny first week coming back from uni feeling a way that i havent in so long or maybe ever#and being like oh this music that ive been listening to for so long means something new to me now
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anyways good night everyone!
i hate my geometry teacher with a burning passion :D!!!! like, girl!!!! why do you gotta be so secretive and have us figure out what you mean by your (unnecesarily long) assignment instructions!!!
then have us dig through 7 videos with way too much extra content, plus 6 PDFs, only 3 of which are acctually relevant, but i wouldn´t know that before losing several days trying to make myself read through several hundreds of pages huh?
have you considered actually DOING YOUR JOB???!!! AND TEACHING US STUFF!!!! and if not uhh.... retiring :D?
#vent#also procastinating lmao#but aghhhh!!! retaking this dumb class and i hoped against all odds that i´d get another teacher this time around TvT#appARENTLY NOT!!!!!!#BITE BITE BITE#if anyone remembers my mom got surgery last year this time around; plus we were doing some work on the house#so i just kinda noped out of some classes; but now that im back im so pissed i dropped this one#could´ve pulled the sympathy card hhhhhhh <- weaponizing mild inconveniences#SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!! HELL WORLD!!!! <- is being incredibly dramatic#anyways imma get back to work hahah#anyways top 3 worst teachers ive ever had#no ones beating the other 2; emotional damage; oof#<- was only in the school system for 5 years until UNI
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not to be pathetic on main but i feel like just a while ago everything was going great life was literally amazing and now everything sucks i just wanna be in my bed forever
#it's rly hitting me how bad school's going and how much effort ive put in for no reason#and one of my friends is going through smth really rough n she's not coping well w it n it's turning her into a person i wouldn't be around#that sounds awful to say but u don't know the context#and it's just rly impacting me n also i just feel like a broken person everytime i stop to think abt my own problems so it's all piling up#sorry for venting while still not rly telling anything i'm just so fed up#i don't know where else i can talk abt any of this like uni mental health services already denied me help bc i've#'already received professional help and they don't have the resources to help ppl who've already gone through a therapy process'#AND i can't see my actual (ex) therapist bc the government aid for it ended n now it's 100€ per SESSION from my own pockets#and i can't talk to my friends bc like i said some of it involves one of them n even if it didn't she needs our support more#AND. if i fail any more exams i'm gonna have to go through fucking hell fighting the officials so they don't demand 800€ of their aid back
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more than anything else right now i just feel. betrayed
#i wanna talk about me#apparently they've been talking/fighting about cutting the program since at latest the middle of last semester#which is not like#that long ago#but that's still like. two months of time i could've had to make other plans#two months of forewarning that my ideal path might not be available#back in october i wasn't as set. i was still exploring my options. i was LEANING to this one but not yet decided#and every signal i got was a green light. full speed ahead#maybe they didn't think the department was really going to be axed yet#or maybe they weren't allowed to discuss it with students. idk.#but i feel betrayed man#they pulled the rug out from under me when i was in the middle of my application.#how am i supposed to trust the uni now to help me find a way through this.#that even if we find some other program to take or if they walk back and keep the program open one more year on life support just for me#that it'll all be fine again. no more bumps in the road in the future. we promise.#it fucking sucks man. what am i suppose to do now. and how in the hell do you expect me to trust you after this.
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