#now back to uni hell
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Bubbles
#this has been sitting in my folder for soo long i finally decided to finish it#now back to uni hell#jojolion#josuke higashikata#josuk8#gappy higashikata#josuke 8#jjba#fanart#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojos bizzare adventure#art#digital art#jojo#jojo fanart#myart
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Fastest Wei Wuxian for his BIRTHDAYYYYYY
#this to I Know the End by Phoebe Bridgers#i actually wanna do a lil animatic that song sigh#i love Wei Wuxian so much#because whenever there was like an active flashback in MDZS he’d be like: damn what does this yiling laozu BITCH got up his ass????#as if he wasn’t like. going thru all the horrors ever#he’s so insane I think he should be studied under a microscope#anyway now I must go back to comm and uni hell#mxtx#art#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fanart#wei wuxian#wei ying#yiling laozu#yiling patriarch#魔道祖师#夷陵老祖#魏无羡#忘羡
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i officially resigned today :')
#i still have to work there bc i've got a one-month notice period. but i did it!!!#the conversation with my boss went well! she was really nice and supportive#she said she was worried about me bc she could tell i was struggling. and that she understands my decision#and in case i won't find a new job this month they can extend my contract#i cried a lot 😭#and now i'm terrified and sad bc i really love some of my coworkers and i don't want to leave them#but at the same time i'm SO relieved. i feel like i will be able to sleep well tonight. for the first time in weeks#k.txt#also sorry guys i've been mia. and sorry for not answerings your messages#but between working full time searching for a new job doing final assignments for uni and crying. i honestly don't have any energy left#i only logged in to tell you the big news :') and now i'm back to my assignment :( see ya in a week when my exam hell is over
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you all know that audio from bladerunner? "you look lonely i can fix that"?? my brain wouldn't let me rest until i haven't drawn that with Sun n Moon
but jokes aside, really self-indulgent comic bc both Security Breach and Ruin came out when i was at a low point mentally and helped me greatly just be able to move forward and get through each day (and i won't even be getting into how much these 2 fictional robot jesters have helped me refind my passion for drawing)
i really hope that more people can relate to this :))
#anyways i mean it when i say my brain wouldn't rest until i whipped my pencil out n started drawing#tbh i stumbled upon the audio waaay back like 5-6 months ago??#but just now like literally just now i though#damn that REALLY fits Sun n Moon#i think it might be bc this semester was really stressful for me#and this last month has been hell#i was honestly drained physically and mentally#but i managed to go through each day and move forward#n just when my whole energy was running out n just when i had a couple of days left where i had to work more than my body could carry#right then Ruin came out and it was like;; really a breath of fresh air#my brain was suddenly thinking about the lore and theories and not anymore stressing abt projects and exams#while i still had to work Ruin gave me a push to be able to finish what i had to do#now i'm taking a small 2 week break where i'm gonna go easier with uni work and letting my body heal itself :))#but anyways enough rambling n everything#i really hope more of y'all can relate to this comic :))#now onto the tags#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf superstar daycare#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#moondrop x y/n#sundrop x y/n#tw eye contact#doodles#traditional doodle#comic#Ghost doodles
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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i'm back bitches
#my mental health was being spicy#because men suck and situationships are hell#and uni had me wanting to end it all#and i was trying not to develop a drinking problem again#so i took a break#and now i'm back#because i finally have the capacity to deal with tumblr#rants and ramblings
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no big updates because i finally got a full-time job, and i have a lot of commissions and trades to draw. BEAR with me here guys 🥱
#fallout#fnv#courier six#oc: wendy#oc: aletus#he was supposed to be a goat but i recently found out that its an acronym for 'greatest of all time'#which he's not#chicken suits him better#ALSO if yall interested#i really like my new job#i was scared but my colleagues are genuinely so nice and the work is fun#i initially left uni because of how fucking alone i was and my untreated autism made me terrified of doing ANYTHING in public#it was. cosmically bad. that bad i fucking left the campus as soon as i could and just came back home 😭#but now im here and i like my job and my mental health is not declining and im fine :) for the most part#these two semeters in hell were actually useful tho#i realised im asexual + i improved my english#YES for everyone asking YES aletus is a history teacher 😭😭😭
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chat i think we are cooked
#i took the first two exams of uni ever & im pretty sure i did bad on both 💀💀#im. trying to not tell myself that its ok & its not as bad as i think it is but i feel stupid as hell right now#like. idk. huge imposter syndrome i guess? like that im possibly the dumbest in this entire campus…. whatever#vent#delete later#augggg#& i studied for both… idk once i get over it ill come back with a vengeance#i just need to not feel too awful until i get my grades back ig
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what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?
FUCK NASTY!!!
#if i ever touch economics again it's a cry for help like i cannot stress enough how fucking pointless this degree is gonna be#okay deep breath im only being so negative bc im balls deep in exam season. it's a GOOD degree i DONT REGRET MY DEGREE#this will be EXCEPTIONALLY helpful when i go into the working world i am EMPLOYABLE bc of my DEGREE#like economics is a VERY versatile subject there arent many areas of work that econ doesnt apply to in some way#so i KNOW it's a really good degree to have and i can kinda do what i want afterwards#but oh my fucking god. jesus christ. bloody fucking hell#i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time#bc i just need to like. take some time off education and recover LMAO and i want a space to just tick some boxes i never got round to#like learning how to drive and stuff. and living without having rent to pay in a place im very familiar with will be good#even if i do think it's gonna have it's own struggles. oh hometown blues we're really in it now#but yeah after that year im thinking about maybe doing a masters? but ill have to proper blag it bc you typically have to do#masters in subjects relevant to your degree and i dont want to go within a radiation exclusion zone of economics#so. there's that. do u think if i say please somewhere will let me do a classics masters be honest. if i say pretty please#ask#hella goes to uni
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I really wanna do some Logalex heart posting with answering asks about the universe.
I really wanna talk about the thoughts I put under the Nico medical check up video yesterday because I can't stop thinking about that video and my brain keeps creating story ideas for it.
And I want to finish my Carlando spicy 💓 story.
But I really have to finish this 50+ hours drawing. 😭
But there's not much left so hopefully I can finish it in a few days and then finally talk about the things I love. ❤
#i'm really struggling an my brain tries to make me happy with heart-related ideas but it just makes the whole thing even more difficult#i'm tired nothing's finished and uni starts soon and i haven't even started thinking about the stuff i have to pack to move back to the dorm#i hoped i'd gain my energy back during the summer but now i know i was delusional as hell#i guess at this point it's just... you know... mental health stuff i don't want to name because i don't have a diagnosis and#don't want to self-diagnose
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#i'm about to start crying#In the library#My own#Maybe this will age badly maybe I will fail on January 10th#Hello from the queue ! I will be back soon ! Or not !#For someone who hasn't have a good time at uni and has been working full time for years now I sure as hell feel sad that this might be over
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First time in two months that I don't have to set an alarm clock for tomorrow and don't have to get up at a specific time to study or sit for an exam... I have truly forgotten what being relaxed felt like.
#im not. Fully relaxed tbh. because i have started classes at the second school i got into. and uni classes start next week#so mornings will be for uni classes which means waking up at 7am latest#and afternoon for other institute classes which means returning home at 10pm#but at least no more exams. no more 'memorise this NOW or stress to hell and back even when trying to rest'#so hopefully that means less nauseating constant fatigue and less stomach cramps the moment i eat even a little bit of bread#because the above is basically what my daily life has been like for the past month after it became clear exams would last-#-way longer than normal. woohoo!#at least we're done now tho and i did my absolute best. i have no regrets on that front
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SCARLET
MAUVE
BLUSH
THISTLE
HONEYDEW
LAVENDER
SAFFRON
SAGE
CRIMSON
BURGUNDY
IM GOING TO CRY OMG
YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLY SWEET THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH
#IM NOT GOING TO CRY#I AM CRYING#im literally gonna have to go get some tissues cause I'm actually crying now /pos#You are just so sweet#thank you so much#it means the world#corner answers with major#holy hell#i inspire you?!#All i did was bully some blorbos for a bit!#thats literally the sweetest thing just ever#its the highest form of compliment#a colab you say?#huh i wouldn't be opposed to the idea#maybe after whumptober is over and i get back into the swing of things with unravelling and taking notice#and the uni(College) assignments calm down a little#we could totally do something#give it a few weeks then send me a note#we can see what we can do
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the sleep deprivation from 3-6am last night actually made me want to die and now im like damn it was that serious huh
#LIKE I HATE IT!!!#im literally ILL i was exhausted all day so youre telling me we're just not gonna sleep???#you know its bad when you realise you slept 3 straight hours and are like yay!!!!#it hasnt been that bad in a while though so im like...is this just what i have to live with now#i'll probably tell my doctor when i have to discuss my blood test anyway#but uk doctors would rather kill you than prescribe sleeping medication if youre like under 50#can't even get melatonin over the counter like what the hell.#anyway im a stereotype of myself bc i had a dream that i went back to uni to steal their copy of what belongs to you by garth greenwell
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Okay I’m finally excited abt term starting now this is gonna be GOOD
#it might just be that I just watched queer eye. who knows#but I’m like. actually sorting out a pretty significant amount of the things all in one go bc this is how I do things apparently#saltatory evolution. anyway#I’m gonna go back to uni and see my FRIENDS#I’m doing a bunch of stuff in freshers week bc I’m running a stall in freshers fair and then there’s ice hockey which is gonna be insane#at the start of the year it’s SO busy and I gotta run it and it’s gonna be stressful as hell but so fun#even the times when it’s super busy and I have to do things more than play it’s good it’s a rlly nice atmosphere#and I made plans to go skating with some of my friends after we finish setting up the stall on the Tuesday#and I’m getting a bunch of stuff for my room!! I have a rug and I’m finally getting a sun lamp#and stealing some photos and I’m gonna get some nice ones printed. definitely buying another poster#and I WILL make the kitchen nice this year if it kills me I wanna have people over and actually eat there sometimes#and I’m getting some new clothes!! and I’m gonna get some when I’m back at uni so it’s lower pressure#oh and I actually realised that even though it’s Hard I kinda like the molecular biology module I’m doing#I think it should be manageable if I keep up with it and I have all the things set out to do that#AND a free enough timetable that I’ll be able to keep up with it with a little effort#I’m gonna get a planner or something I think bc they’re fun to write in and it’ll be nice to have everything in one place#OH OH AND IVE MADE PLANS TO COOK WITH MY OTHER FRIEND WHO LIVES LIKE FIVE DOORS DOWN#which is gonna be SO nice#I’m gonna tell my goddamn flatmate to keep his shit off the kitchen table#and I’m living with people I actually like now#with a bunch of my other friends next door#and one of my best friends will actually have free time this year!!!! she had none last year we’re actually gonna be able to do things#this is gonna be a good year I’ve decided I don’t care I will MAKE this year a good year#it’s gonna be a good year.#luke.txt
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My brain when I read two books and wants to quit my job: what if you could go back to university, it was fun right? 🤗
Me: You're not helping, shut up please.
#this is Satan himself talking to me#i don't even understand why I sometimes have these thoughts crossing my mind#university was hell#had no money#major depression and anxiety#barely survived the whole process and got my diploma#the licence diploma that I've never ever retrieved#and same for the book publishing diploma#because I was hit by the hard fact that i decided to take the less job giving direction#nobody give a fuck about literature and humanities#and for the publishing sector#it's very much closed#and i was hit by the fact that i would never get there#because there's a major money glass ceiling#like i could not just go move to Paris like the out of touch with reality teachers said#and have opportunities#so now I'm stuck with a shitty job#and even if i went back to uni what for???#like yes if I'd go to master level i would be able to specialise in what i like#which is sff#and i actually have many idea of thesis djdjdbsbsnz#but if nobody give a shit about literature in the job marketplace#let me tell you that french academia is the most snobbish elitist academia to ever exist when it comes to literature#like i can't even begin to explain#for most of them authors like Tolkien Dick Asimov or Herbert are like nothing#doesn't matter that they are literal fathers of whole genres#and idk there's now queer studies#and queer x science fiction is really an angle that could be very interesting to work on#but that doesn't change the fact that even if my fantasies i had a master or a doctorate#it would be useless because this doesn't give you a job and i don't want to be a teacher
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