#now again i don't hate the guy (unless he did something bad)

[deerdogs]

hello transcripts from bits of lukey's meta talk/qna from 7/5/25 (chat msgs he's reading will be formatted "like this" and books 'like this')

some of this is also ambiguously between in/out of character so interpret that as you will. i transcribed the bits I thought were relevant or important, not everything.

topics covered: tr!Lukey's risk taking traits/moral ambiguity, tr!Pili and tr!Lukey against keepers, keepers as a whole and criticism on their behavior/structure, tr!Lukey in a position of power/knowledge, the null and it's bounds briefly, tr!Lukey and vulnerability, memory lane, tr!Lukey's relation to his trauma, tr!Lukey's age and time in the null

I wanna- Something I want to do is.. play into the more.. aggressive risk taking traits that tr!Lukey has. And, what I mean by that is- It's- I mean it's already like, it's already been made known that... you know, I-I bend the rules a bit, to- do what I want, right? To get what I want. Think of the entire, like, cure, right? Like, I was not supposed to be doing that research, right? I came out on top, and I came out correct, and that was like.. good. And I suppose that's the only thing that made it okay. But, the concept of... using more unorthodox methods to get what you want. i.e., enabling Pili, right? Which is a bit more of like a, a dirty play from the keeper's perspectives. But. It's, uh. At least in my eyes I think it's a bit of like a power move, right. It's "justifiable only in retrospect", right? So like, am I the bad guy.. to enable Pili.. if it creates a better change, overall amongst the keepers? Maybe. Will that power get to my head? (laughs) maybe. Will there be consequences? Maybe! Or maybe I come out on top too. "He was unethically experimented on" that's true. That's also true, is like. "for the sake of the long gain rather than instant gratification-" Like- the keepers have done some terrible things. And- of course I hold that grudge. I'm pretty subtle about it, at least on the surface level. But I don't let that go. "Two wrongs don't make a right" well I'm also aware of that, which is why I don't wanna go on like a- I'm not going on a massacre to kill all keepers, because I don't believe in that. I don't believe in- Whereas like, Pili- Y'know, is for entertainment. I think.. there is an issue with the keepers and something needs to be changed, but I don't hate the keepers themselves for existing and having more power. Because I have respect that they're a civilization right? Like- Grankeeper doesn't need to die to my hands (laughs).

Wheras Pili is like, 'the keepers need to die because they're stronger than us and they fuck with us,' I'm like- something needs to change with the keepers, right? Will I get my hands dirty to make that change happen? Maybe for the first time yes. Because it's a combination of my own justification plus the grudge i'm holding for how I was treated, right? And it's like- maybe, one or two particular people in charge, need to be knocked down a peg. But obviously, the keepers are... strong persay, -er than the average player. And so my response to that would be. A more.. nuclear option. i.e. Pili. Does that logic track? Because I don't have much else in my arsenal.

"so its justifiable to take jurassic action" Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. If I have to, I will. Once again- it's an unorthodox method to get what I want, but it's not the first time i've- used unorthodox methods, to- get what I want. For good or bad, right? With the sculk. Um, I can't remember- What did the High Keeper- What did the High Keeper book say? Because they made a particular comment about me that really stuck.

'Glad to see you haven't changed, LUCAS. I should have known that rotten defiance when I saw it. Next time, keep your "diaries" safe, you learn so much from them, hahaha. I shall keep quiet. For now.' Now I would never defy anyone [holding hands up like CAUGHT and smiling] Unless. (laughs) Unless I really, really believed that what they were doing was [wrong]. But like- this implies, like- this is a grudge from the past, right? 'I should have known that rotten defiance when I saw it.' Like- They're like, 'Shit. I know this guy.'

But yeah, that's where I am with the keepers at the moment. And that's why I've got Pili. Pili isn't involved in the issue yet, but Pili I think is like- locked and loaded. Ready to go. Right? It's a- It's a card i'm holding. "Pili is just lying in wait rn" Yeah- But Pili's dangerous too. Right? Like I wouldn't be taking risks like this with Pili, unless I thought I had to, and- Maybe I feel like I have to. Desperate times call for desperate measures- Pili is a desperate measure.

"time to escalate" Well-... Cause I don't even know if the keeper's.. have the cure yet. Which I'm- Like I'm happy to like-I don't even have the cure yet. My days. That's so awkward. Pangi has it- the egg. But as far as the keeper's [are] aware I've got it. But I don't know what they're gonna do with it. And I don't know if you can cure the keepers, I don't know if they want to be cured, I don't know if they'd gatekeep that knowledge. Like- The keepers play dirty. And I think it's because they're scared. I don't think it's because they're evil. But- It doesn't matter why they're doing it, to me it's proven that they aren't.... they aren't- qualified? They aren't capable? They aren't- They aren't fit to make those calls? And use us, or like- use the outworlders as like- puppets? "Professional?" Not even professional, respectful. Like- Like, human decency. "the keepers would definitely continue to use their powers to keep themselves in power,, they have a god complex with the powers to match" That's it. Yeah- Once again, I don't think all keepers are bad. But some of them definitely are. The ones- The important ones are bad, right? "the high keepers" I don't even know if it's all the high keepers, I don't know if Alpha, is still around and in the question, like... It's- bizarre. "he went missing-" yeah that's the thing, he went missing, was not confirmed dead or alive. Which means it is very possible that he's alive still. But I don't know his current motives, or why he's choosing to remain in hiding. If his kingdoms falling apart that's.. kind of an issue. I don't like the fact that he's- fled from his problems. Unless there's something I don't know but I haven't had that conversation.

- - past here he specifies that now he is officially ooc and meta talk

I would like to see a climb of power. For- tr!Lukey. Dude- Okay, this is meta talk now, officially, like, out of character. You know like- Okay, this might be a weird comparison to make, you know like- Sans? You know how he's just like a- like a weird grey area? Where it's like, he doesn't often do loads, but it's like he always kinda just knows what's going on. And how he's like... He knows about the different save files that are going on. Or like the different- Realms or servers and this that and the other. Right? And like- He kinda just takes it upon himself to keep things in check. Right? That like- sure, good and bad will happen, but like nothing too crazy world ending will happen, right? Does that make sense? Like he's not- He's not a front liner, but like, knows more than he lets on. "if trlukey got offered the position of high keeper do you think he'd take it" Position of a high keeper? ....I don't know if I wouuuuld. It'd wanna be- No, not like the other keepers. It wouldn't be like the other keepers. "[i] could fix it" Yeah, but- all the high keepers are the same, as far as I'm aware. Excluding, like.. maybe the original 7. Yeah, I'd rather carve out my own position. Or just like- "He wants to be something "New", not someone in a position of being controlled." Yeah, that's it. Something new, not a position of being controlled. Exactly. But it'd be cool- Okay, another comparison now. You know how like- in minecraft story mode, I can't remember what chapter, or what like- season, but like, in one of them. They're walking through that big hallway, and it's got all the- This is how I visualize, like, the realm lore. This could be wrong, this could be canon, I have no idea. But like- You know in minecraft storymode, and they have that huge- hallway, corridor, with all of like, the nether portals that lead to other dimensions. They're not actually nether portals, they're like, portals to different like, worlds. It would be really cool to see something like that visualized. And then.. just- Once again, not be a front liner, but.. be aware of what's going on within all of that. And maybe just take it upon.. oneself to- keep shit in check. Right? Like personal affairs aren't my problem, but.

Like, I could still have.. maybe the ability or knowledge perhaps, without the direct affiliation with the keepers. Or just operate differently. "like, you want to be a watcher and just know general information about everything?" ...Think of Sans. Like, what's his job/role. He doesn't have a specific assigned one, or at least it's not clear. That's- And that's it, is it's unclear. Does he time travel? Eh, don't really know! Is he, like- immortal? Eh, it's a bit of like a grey area. Like he's just there, and then it's until there's a real problem- [...] that he like, steps up.

"do you think if we will ever see the kingdom of null ? what it was like back then ?" That would be cool, to see like.. parts of it, how it functioned- cause I imagine it still exists, to some extent. But also, the null as I see it, and especially after seeing like Ros' castle and stuff, it can also be used as a place to archive, right? It's like sanctuary, right? It's why the keepers went there when the corruption got really bad. And I- I mean, I can traverse to the null. Which no one else can do. "you just cant get out of memory lane tho" Well I've never really tried. Now that I think about it. But yes, that's true. I've never just- gone out and about in the null. But I've never tried. I mean the ticket is 'ticket to the null'.

"Why is it, that tr!lukey never really speaks of his past to other people (not even tr!pangi or tr!aimsey)" Uhm, there's a couple reasons. I think a primary one is I don't wanna burden people. With my own burden. Right. Like- although what happened's bad, because I see it so logically I just know that telling people wouldn't change what happened. Right? And like with everything else going on- But then, also secondly, there's an element of knowledge is.. power I suppose? And- Being seen as overly vulnerable? Unless like- Like I wouldn't tell unless I was provoked to, right? Like unless I had a reason to. Like Water really pushed, and I was like- 'Fine!' and I gave like, the first little hint of a detail, that something had gone on and like the memory was wiped, right? "truth is currency" Yeah,... "you cant reveal all your cards and not expect it to be exploited" Exactly. But also, like, since I've been here, my past has kind of made me a target, right? Like, the nature of me just appearing out of nowhere, my possible affiliation with the keepers. And- I kinda learnt the hard way (laughs) to play it close to my chest. "not even truth is currency but information is powerful and a big currency in the realm" Yeah! And like once I say something to someone, like I can't- You can't undo that. They know now. They-They are free to tell- Whoever they please. And I can't- stop that. "i mean you did say pangi and aimsey can read memory lain if they want to" There's also- Okay, and now for like the more meta answer too, there is an element of like.. Like I know Pangi isn't- by playstyles, right? Whereas Aimsey probably would, not everyone else would- just read through pages, and pages, and pages of books. Right? Like I don't wanna be like- here's a whole thing like you can read up on. "i mean you did say pangi and aimsey can read memory lain if they want to" Well he can! Like he has the option to. Like Pangi can. The thing is, is like- I've told him. I've told him he can read it whenever he wants, he just asks me and he can go. But he hasn't. Like I wouldn't stop that from happening, if he said "Lucas I wanna read memory lane," I'd be like "Yeah sure." Like I don't need to- hold his hand through it. He'd be welcome just to go. But like- everytime I've been there, I focus on.. everytime I've taken people there, I've focused on the points that I think are relevant, right? Like, my work and the progress I've made. And.. the cure, and the corruption, which is the threat- And I just don't see my own burden as part of the picture, as- as relevant. And maybe that's- comes from a place of.. insecurity about it? Or just, like... ""Hey man can i hop into your brain rq i wanna read through your trauma"" Yeah like- (laughs) the trauma- I wanna read the trauma series.

"I wonder in memory lane might get longer, the time spent in the test tube was alot longer than the life before." That's true, yeah. "Does tr!lukey remember much of the time in the test tube?" Time spent in the test tube? Well- I mean, If you think about your week, IRL, right. And how much you've done. If you've spent all week in your room, in the same place doing the same thing, you'll find it's- far harder to remember the things that happened within that time, than if you were... on a road trip for example, or on holiday going to different places, on different days. So like- I suppose after a while, that time just blends into itself. There were- breakout attempts. (laughs) Probably- Probably back- at the time, the most exciting part of my day. But- yeah I remember, like I have all those memories, but I just- don't bring it up. I don't like being vulnerable with people. "okay but like... how funny it would be to be like "heres all this important stuff blah blah oh yeah I got tortured for millions of years in a test tube but thats not important, ANYWAYS! this othe thing..."" Well that's kind of what I did. That's kind of what I did! Was like- Like I actively led Aimsey and Pangi like, past all of the scenes, where I was trapped, and encased, and the whole kingdom as I knew it burned down. And I- I did! Like that's not even a bit, I breezed past that because I didn't see that as valuable to my friends at the time. It was just.. I just focused on my achievements, I suppose. "also the insanely prolonged solitary isolation and torture just. cannot be good for your memory or your ability to be vulnerable socially" Well that's it. I don't really trust.. a lot of people. And no one entirely. I think the one person I could probably trust.. with everything would be Newt. Right? Like- I don't think- No outworlder I could completely trust. And for the first time that's been tested, cause this whole- this whole memory sitch. "you focus on the good parts in your life so everyone thinks youre ok when most likely youre not" Well.. yeah! Like Newt has been there since the beginning. He understands- Like I don't need to tell Newt what happened he was- he was there. Like- when no one else was.

"come to think of it tr!pangi has a crazy age gap with both his major situationships" Yeah, the age- from a meta answer, my 'age' has.. it's a blurry answer? I suppose that does make me x amount of years old, but also.. my intention when logging on wasn't to- y'know, inact this... 3 billion year old guy. But also think of Sans, man. how old's he. "mental age is different though" It always has been (laughs) "could there be a point in the near future where we see tr!lukey having a bit of a breakdown due to all the trauma he's endured?" Perhaps, If provoked. Yeah. But- That depends on what.. "the null’s time doesn’t move so you kinda stayed stagnant so did you really age in there? or stay still?" Well, yeah- I wasn't affected by the null time. Right? Whereas everyone else, all the outworlders when they went to the null, they were like 'Oh my god, so-and-so million years have passed." But when I was reset for the first time, for whatever reason, I- came out pretty unaffected. [...] But yeah, having a breakdown, I've nev- It depends, it depends what would provoke it. [...] "the panic room" Dude. The lab's my panic room. [...] "speaking of, what are your thoughts in and out of character on “the safe space not being safe”" [he never got to answering this sadly.. started but got distracted...... sigh....]

end transcript.

[earthboundguythatlikesmother1]

Superman (2025), a film that was announced last year after the catastrophic failure of the DCEU, now we're seeing it getting filmed, the castings been announced, the Kents are dead, there's understandable mixed feelings about this and I don't blame that.

I am, cautiously optimistic about the movie and hope it's good, the authority characters being in it makes me rather nervous but I'm seriously hoping for a good movie.

Now the casting is nice and all but there's a character casting that I absolutely disliked ever since it was announced, that is Nathan Fillon as Guy Gardner

Like I know most people like him because he's done Half Jordan before but even that aside, that's still doesn't make this a good casting. He's in his 50's, like c'mon James at least pick someone young enough, don't get me wrong if I was making some type of movie, I'll defs be adding my friends on the movie because yeah but even then I'd wouldn't make such wild casting like this.

It's not that I hate the guy or anything like that, it's just that well if you wanna do the 10 year plan (if it succeeds) then you've could've at least picked someone better and younger so that they don't end up looking in their 60's by the end of it all.

All I'm saying is that if they wanted keep some actors, they might as well kept Finn Wittrock and told him, "hey man I know DCEU's lantern show got canned and all before it even began filming and stuff but we'll keep you around for the new universe" plus the guy defs looks young enough for the possible 10 year plan

But then again I barely know what Finn does so idk I might be wrong.

And who knows, I'll eventually warm up to Nathan, but for now, I'll just be hater and be hatin on the cast until the movie proves me otherwise.

That's all for now.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree?

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

[lilacgaby]

morning patrols were something katsuki hated with a passion. as his break finally rolled around after a day as dead as ever, he slumped onto a random bench.

his peace lasted approximately five minutes until a group of fans came around, phones 'discreetly’ out and pointing towards him, though the flashlight gave away that they were recording. as the one scrambled to turn it off, another spoke up.

“dynamight? no way! i thought you'd be like– going crazy after seeing the rankings that dropped today.”

a record scratched in his head, his head tilted slightly as his eyebrows raised. “i don't think my patrolling is the problem.”

“yeah, it's probably your temper or something!” another one said, finger raised in the air. he didn't have time to be offended, as they then shoved a phone in his face, showing his ranking.

fifteen. not bad for how many people he'd cursed out recently. all he could do was scoff. “'s not horrible.”

“yeah! but she's totally beating you!”

his eyebrows scrunched inwards, his expression incredulous. “..she?”

“your wife! she's in the top ten!”

his eyes widened again, though this time, it was accompanied by a smirk on his lips. one that only grew alongside his pupils at the sight of you in your hero costume, a golden number eight right next to you.

“i guess she is.”

“you're not like.. upset?��� they asked, not expecting at all this reaction from the guy who yelled just as much, if not more, at the people that he would actively save.

“nah, she deserves it.” a beat paused, and he looked up thoughtfully. until his fist slammed down onto the palm of his hand. “actually no, my wife deserves better. she's a damn good hero.”

he spaced out slightly, the words they spoke to him going through one ear and out the other as he though about the few missions he'd taken with you.

your mannerisms, the way your personality would bleed into your interactions with others. you had an undoubted professionalism about you. hiding the twitch of your eye with a smile, using your quirk masterfully even in your early career. your face, your body-

he closed his eyes, only after signing the shirts of those fans that had already left, and leaned against the uncomfortable recycled plastic of the bench.

you really did deserve it, and more. he'd have to tell you that..

well, he tried to. but he was beaten by his own words, seeing as the video those fans took of him praising you was trending pretty much everywhere.

as you laid on his chest and scrolled on your phone, a smile on your face as you showed him the screen.

“look, you went up a ranking. maybe you should talk about me more often, huh?”

he couldn't help but laugh. “be careful what you wish for. i could talk about you for hours.”

so now, you actually become an avoided topic for reporters. not unless they want the press conference to last an extra hour just on you.

tags: @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @exoticrasin @lavendarstarz @hisonlyobsession @i-the-fluffo @cookielovesbook-akie @frosted-flakes @irenne-stans @lulumi1u @bakunis @twirlyphim @drawingforshitsandgiggles @babylambdietcoke @deimosjay

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hello, can I get more stories about yandere cheerleaders and the yandere soccer team ? It's okay if you don't want to write it right now. May you be happy and healthy. Be together with everyone for a longggggg time !

Yandere Cheerleaders + Football Team (2)

Last Post

The thing about having two of the most dedicated and competitive teams obsessing over you definitely means protection but it also means being the main point of their tug-of-war

While they’re more than gung-ho about chasing off anyone else at the college who’s thinking of being more than acquaintances 

When they’re aren’t bigger fish to fry they start looking at each other

“Look, we already planned to study with them so you need to back off!”

“Ha, you ‘planned’ to. We asked them already so unless you’d like to explain why we can’t hang–you back off!”

“Our Captain–!”

“Clearly isn’t updated on (Y/n)’s time. Better take your pom poms and go do that.”

“You’ll pay for this!” 

Just because the Captains who’ve headed this interest are dating doesn’t mean the animosity between their teams goes away

“That’s what they said? Really? You know your girls have a tendency to exaggerate.”

“Exaggerate!? Your muscle brains went and posted all the evidence needed. No, they did not exaggerate they asked them and you know how weak they are if they’re asked by the group! Which is why we made the rule–!”

“I know. I know. They probably were just tired of the stalling, the week started and they haven’t gotten any alone time.”

“Yeah well now they’re going to pay for it, the girls are vengeful before they are patient.”

“Can’t you stop them, we have a big game on Thursday.”

“No we have competitions on Wednesday and if the girls don’t have their blood our competitors are going to get more than just their butts kicked. And I refuse to bribe those judges anymore. ”

“Please baby just this once.”

“No.”

“...”

“...”

“Alright guess we’ll have to duke this out later.”

“Yeah, now do you want to invite them over for takeout or go over to theirs for takeout?”

“Oooh, we haven’t been in a while! Let’s go to theirs!”

They do end up agreeing amicably

But that doesn’t mean the teams do

Whoever’s turn it is as decided by the Captains is always happier

It’s the ones who don’t that begin to talk amongst themselves

“I love our captain but he’s such a pushover!”

“Yeah, a leader should be a leader over his woman too!”

“But have you seen the cheer captain? She’s scary!”

“Yeah but the question comes up at some point who do you love more? The witchy cheer chic or (Y/n)?”

“That’s an obvious answer for me!”

“(Y/n) all the way!”

The cheer team is no different, barely waiting for their captain to leave the bathroom before scoffing

“I can’t believe she screwed us over again.”

“Hate to say it but did you really think she’d hold her ground to him?”

“Yeah, you guys remember that one ex right? She abandoned us back in Summer just for his that greaser wannabe.”

“Hmmm true…Hey do you guys think she’d dumb Captain manscape if (Y/n) asked?”

“Oooh that might be fun to find out!”

But despite how malicious it sounds the heart of those teams knows not to act they know better

… or most of them

There’s one or two in both teams that break 

Usually hinting at the cheer captain’s doing something awful to you

Cheating on the other or talking bad about you to the new students you’ve been trying to be friends with

While they’ll swoon in the moment because you’re hanging off their every word it never lasts

By the time they return to fraternity or sorority, the dream is over

And they're about to feel the worst and last pain in their life

“Look ladies here’s someone who’s threatened our flock…MY flock. New Girl!”

“Yes, Captain!”

“What do we do with the mockingbirds?

“We push them out the nest?”

“Very good!”

On the cheer squad, a simple alone time or texting without informing two other cheerleaders is humiliation by way of social media

Flirting with you earns a spanking by the vice leader

And attempting to undermine the captain…well let’s say the Cheer team is careful to wear  their running mascara when one of their teammate's severed hand appears a couple of miles off campus

No one really knows exactly what happens

Just that the only thing that identifies their old teammate is the obscure telltale feature

Like the green manicured nail on her index, the only one not torn off 

As for the Football Team they tend not to make it too imaginative

NOT because they aren’t smart…they just don’t need to be that creative with it

Plus they’re not that great at cleaning their own messes

“Captain, can I do the honors? I’ve got something special for our…dear friend.”

"Go for it."

“Edibles, the big M, a couple of high-grade stuff from our pharma buddies, and for an extra touch something out of this world to make sure you regret all that you’ve done.”

They’re big fans of injection

Holding the offender down and give one two three if they’re awful shots and then letting them loose

On a club’s rooftop, or a dodgy club, or even on their football field 

it’s just the horrible drugs that leave them totally unaware by the rabid dog pack or the unfenced edge or the sketchy people hovering near them

It’s textbook after all that kids too focused on their careers just get lost in the drugs

A shame that this pandemic isn’t exempt from infesting Energi University

It’s a little sloppy because they don’t always die

But thanks to their indulgent cocktails they sure won’t be remembering or even capable of getting a proper sentence out

“Honey, I wanted to congratulate you on that good catch you did. I was really impressed with that blend.”

“Thanks, babe but don’t think I didn’t notice how you killed that cheer!”

“....Are you guys talking in code because I really don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it hon! Now about that takeout.”

“Yeah babe, we’ll pay for it and put on a movie or somethin’.”

“Oh but then it’ll be dark and even if your together I wouldn’t want you guys out there with all the danger around campus lately.”

“Then we’ll stay over!”

“Wait–”

“Yeah, it’s cool we don’t mind cuddling up with you.”

“Yup! Not at all!”

“Uh okay I guess.”

“Oh also you’re free to come to our practices right?”

“Yeah, both teams have been missing you real bad.”

Thanks for the well wishes anon! 🖤🖤🖤🖤 Rules | Kofi | Commissions

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

wicked game

chapter 11 - here comes the bride

synopsis: y/n is sarah’s roommate and the embodiment of sunshine. rafe, on the other hand, is her complete opposite. when the boys place a bet that he can't win her over, rafe takes the challenge without hesitation. after all, he never backs down from a dare. the closer rafe gets to y/n, he finds himself drawn to her warmth in a way he never expected, and for the first time, he wants to be more than just the guy with a bad reputation.

but secrets don’t stay hidden for long, and when y/n finds out the truth, rafe is left to face the consequences. now, he has to prove that somewhere along the way, the bet stopped mattering, because losing her was never part of the plan.

masterlist

cw: language

you couldn't figure out why this stupid fake frat wedding was making you feel things. negative things.

you dragged sarah back to your room after the grilling the girls had given you, all certain you had feelings for rafe.

"so wait, who is rafe even getting fake married to?" you asked her.

sarah grinned. "emily reed, president of zeta delta phi. you already hate her don't you?"

you threw a pillow at her, "for fucks sake sarah let it go!"

she burst into laughter, "i'm joking i'm joking! wait." she paused, "rafe has that jumper. oh my god is that rafe's jumper? when the fuck did you get that?"

you looked down. shit.

you immediately started peeling it off. "no. no! ok, it's not like that i swear. stop. i picked it up when i was leaving his room in a rush to pick up lucas."

"and you're wearing it right now?" sarah could not hide the excitement on her face.

"it's soft. that's all. it's cosy and i like it and that is the only reason. for comfort." you collapsed onto your bed, hiding your face.

"come on y/n you're not fooling anyone." sarah smirked.

"look, it's not like that okay? we just had a moment in the garden the other day at the party. it was quiet, and maybe kinda... nice? and now everything feels... i don't know. weird."

"and now you want to be his frat bride." sarah teased you once again.

"stop!" you groaned into your pillow.

sarah flopped down next to you, voice suddenly gentler. "hey. it’s okay if you like him, you know. even if he is a dick. and my brother."

"i don’t," you said again.

sarah raised an eyebrow.

"i don’t!" you repeated, defensive now.

"well, if you did, i wouldn't be mad. and part of me thinks he likes you too."

your ears perked at that, "really?"

"i don't know, it's rafe." she shrugged like it didn't matter.

you paused. that name alone came with so many contradictions.

yeah. it was rafe.

the same rafe who was cocky and infuriating and said things like "maybe it's a sign" when you kept bumping into each other and called you 'princess' with a stupid half-smirk.

but also the same rafe who sat with you in the garden while the party raged on, letting you hold his hand like it meant something. the same rafe who protected you when you got roofied and looked after you all night.

you bit your lip, sarah staring at you like she was trying to figure you out. "what's going through that pretty head of yours?"

"it's just. he was...nice. the other night i mean. like, weirdly nice. it just doesn't seem like the same guy everyone talks about."

sarah sat up "how weirdly?"

"i mean," you mumbled, "it wasn’t just banter. it felt different. he just sat and we talked and he held my hand and-"

"pause. he held your hand?" her eyes lit up in shock.

"yes but not like that." you spoke quickly

sarah’s jaw dropped. "not like that? y/n, babe, this is rafe we’re talking about. he doesn’t even high-five people unless there’s a crowd watching."

you rolled your eyes but your cheeks were already warm. "it wasn’t romantic. it was just… quiet."

"okay, sure," she said, still clearly unconvinced, "he quietly held your hand in the garden under the stars while you had a vulnerable moment and now you’re wearing his hoodie and getting jealous about a fake wedding. totally platonic."

you sighed, falling back onto your bed. "i hate you."

she laughed, "no you don’t. you hate that i’m right."

you stared up at the ceiling. "it’s just confusing. i didn’t feel like this with lucas. not even close. and now rafe’s getting fake married and i can’t stop thinking about how stupidly annoying that makes me feel."

sarah’s voice softened. "it’s not stupid. you like him. that’s okay."

you didn’t say anything for a moment. then quietly, "do you really think he likes me too?"

she hesitated, not teasing now, "yeah. i think he does. i think he’s just as confused about it as you are."

you nodded slowly, letting her words sink in.

a/n: AHHHHHH i am screaming at this and i wrote it

🏷️: @heartzshiftamy @hoefordrewstarkey @luvrclub  @leleee3 @yktayy9669 @miumiuestmoi @anacamofficial @cokewithcameron @bloodofadoll @shorttandsweett @mysticbby2009 @emmiesummers @wintercrows @drewrry @starkeyxcameron @xxbirkindoll2 @stoned-writer @drewstarkeyslover @hannieskzzz @verycherryblossomhideout @letstryagaintomorrow @@jjsbbg7 @mariamadison6-blog @laniirackssss @xeneasworld @countryclubwhore @drewsphswife @mattyskies @moonywhisp3rs @starkeygirls @lmaolmaos @thereallifebambi @emeloyy @vcnillafairy @rafecameronswhoore @st8rkey @angeldiaryy @therealfairybatman @drewsephrry @vanessa-rafesgirl @dreamybabbyy @pogueprincesa @happy-mushrooms @hannaa20002000 @whoismxtti @darlingstarkey @mattssweetheart @wuluhwuhmaster @harringtonsbowgirl @my-name-is-baby @rrosiitas @davinashifts333@cinnamqnnlatte @fastlovela @stelleduarte @fastlovela @deeninadream @moond0llie @dylsdaily @nonbeliever1

[ckret2]

i come to you today with another samurai jack AU. quick recap of where this AU diverges from canon:

("hey i haven't seen the show and idk what's going on" okay, watch this from 9:56)

Every once in a while somebody goes "do we really KNOW Aku (as a separate entity from the space blob) is inherently evil? or did he just immediately turn evil due to the fact that his very first interaction was his creator telling him he meant to kill him? how would things have gone differently if that hadn't happened?" and I went okay, sure, let's roll with that.

AU where the emperor DIDN'T immediately give Aku a motive to hate humanity and just sort of claims him. that's his son now.

and that's Jack's brother now.

listen, I've made jokes in two different posts about Jack & Aku having the same birthday and y'all should have interpreted that as a threat.

Aku is NOT allowed to name himself Literally The Word "Evil." He gets named Kage. And being called Literally The Word "Shadow" is edgy enough to satisfy him so he goes with it.

Since Jack never gets named "Jack," he's going by his real name. which in this au is Hikari, because adoptive twins named Light and Shadow feels like the kind of corny symbolism this show would jump all over.

it's also an actual phrase: 光と影 (hikari to kage, "light and shadow") meaning "rise and fall; ups and downs; shame and glory; bright side and dark side; light and shadow"

I wonder a lot about the fact that Aku's just, like, created as an adult. We know he's capable of developing and changing—he does during the course of the show—so like, he hasn't been static since he was born. What was he pre-loaded with, then, and what came later?

what if he looks adult to human eyes, but mentally he's just a young child that can already talk & fight. "Guy tells baby he was trying to kill him; baby throws a tantrum and decides to take over the world"—that feels like a perfectly proportionate emotional reaction for an actual newborn less than five minutes old for whom this is not only the worst thing to ever happen to him, but the ONLY thing to ever happen to him.

This isn't how I interpret Aku by default; but it IS how I'm interpreting him in this AU so that he can mentally keep pace with Jack and so that he has to "grow up" even though he already looks grown. Sure, this means that at a week old he's saying stuff like "if that odious daimyo visits Father again today, I will rip his body asunder and send his charred skull back to his grieving children" but he's also saying stuff like "why does my brother get a blanket but I don't? 🥺"

"oh," you say, "so this is like a nice soft AU where nothing bad happens?"

NO. It's an AU about a demon tree child under constant pressure to make himself smaller & less threatening so everyone stops fearing him, and he's never quite small enough or unthreatening enough unless he's literally disguised as something other than himself—and sometimes not even then.

It's about the less favored son who can never seem to do anything right enough to gain his father's approval. Sometimes he almost thinks his father hates him. But that can't be true, right? After all, his father went out into the wilderness with a potion and some hocus-pocus to make him on purpose, and why would he have done that if he didn't want him? Surely there isn't some other secret reason his father made him that he doesn't know about. Is he just not living up to his father's expectations? Is he too much trouble?

At least his brother loves him unconditionally.

[lohotine]

(does a lil twirl) hi!!! hello!! i’ve never sent in an ask like this before, so sorry if i do something wrong o|-<! but what would be your take/your thoughts on a yandere shadow milk situation, where the reader truly starts to fight back, resist? 🤔

AN: Inspo from the song "Meant To be Yours."

Shadow Milk x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Yandere, toxic relationship, obsessing, manipulation, mentions of murder

-Locked Out-

"Come on doll, you're just being silly!"

A few knocks would be sounded on your door.

"I already told you. I'm not coming out until you agree to let me leave!"

Shadow Milk sighed. Surely you didn't think that something as simple as a door would be able to stop him... right? He almost found your stupidity amusing....

Oh well. Entertaining this small delusion of yours for a little while couldn't hurt.

"You know locking yourself in there kind of defeats the purpose of being able to escape, right?" He'd ask you.

...

"I don't care! I just don't want to see your stupid face. I hate you!"

And you'd keep repeating that last line over and over.

"I hate you."

He knew better than anyone that those words held no truth. They couldn't! How could you hate him when all he's been doing has been in your name?

He lived for you. He breathed for you. All of his thoughts were for you. It was all you, you, you, you, you!

You were akin to a beautiful bird. One that, if it were to ever escape, would surely be hunted down by others. That's why you needed to stay here, with him, where he could keep you safe.

Keeping you chained down was in your best intrets, even if it did strip you of your freedom... He was the only one who deserved to see you, after all.

"Listen, my doll. I love you so much. Why don't we just end this silly argument?"

His voice sounded so inciting, yet it was laced with a venom that would kill you if you ever let it in.

"No. Don't talk to me unless you're bringing me outside."

There you went again, acting all stubborn... It was a fun game at first, but it's now become a lot more troublesome.

"Open this door," he said, this time with much less leniency in his voice.

He said it in such a way that shook you to your very core. It was cold and uncaring, unlike his usual playful self.

But... you just knew you couldn't open that door. You'd basically be handing your freedom over to him.

"You know I hate it when you do these things-" a loud bang came from the other side of the door, "you always make it look like I'm the bad guy."

But you would not move. You did not open that door. You could not open that door.

"If this door isn't open in five seconds, I'm going to come in there myself."

...

What caused his personality to change so much?

"Five."

Why did it have to be you that he adored?

"Four."

Can't he just leave you alone?

"Three."

He's actually insane!

"Two."

Please go away...

"One."

....

You asked for this, Shadow Milk thought to himself. If only you had cooperated more. Maybe he wouldn't have to do these things. It really was all your fault.

He vanished into some shadows before swiftly reappearing on the other side of the door; where you were.

Ah, he just loved seeing your face full of fear.

We're you scared of him?

Good. You should be.

It's about time you realize who's really pulling the strings.

"You didn't really think escaping me would be so easy right? A simple locked door is hardly an obstacle, doll." He bent down in front of you, smiling and patting your head degradingly.

Tears would prick the corners of your glossy eyes as you realized you had lost.

"Oh, I've just had the most brilliant idea!" He leaned slightly closer to you. "You said you wanted to go outside, right?"

There wasn't a response from you, but you looked up at him ever so slightly.

"How about I bring you to a nice little village and slaughter each one of the residents in front of you?" His smile turned crazed, and there was hardly any sanity left in those eyes of his.

I mean, of course he'd never actually bring you outside. There was too much risk in something like that. He just needed to scare you a bit. Get you to submit.

You'd grab his arm and started to beg; quite pathetically at that.

"Don't-"

He just kept smiling, forcing you to your feet and dragging you around by the wrist.

"Wait! Don't do that please," You'd say in between a few sobs.

His grasp around your wrist tightened.

"Tell me you're sorry," he said.

"What-?"

"Apologize."

"I'm sorry.." your legs began to quiver and you'd take a small step away from him instinctly.

He cupped your face, bringing you closer to him. "For what?"

"For not listening."

It's strange, really. He was the one breaking you down, yet you were the one apologizing. It's scary how easy it is to get you crawling back to him.

"All right. I'll forgive you. But only because I'm so loving and understanding."

He brought your face to his, pushing his forehead against yours.

"Just know that next time I won't hesitate to kill all of them, and it'll be all your fault if I do."

《☆》 Fin

[panpanghost]

_"Macaque, grab a plate and sit down... On the chair this time." Wukong said gently, motioning for Macaque to the cabin.

When Wukong first saw Macaque's body being controlled by Lady Bone Demon, he found himself in a swirl of emotions, but the one that flipped his boat was anger, how dare that demon defile the sacred body of his friend and make him her poppet.

What hurt even more was the fact that he couldn't feel Macaque's presence at all, he was nothing more than a poppet in her hands. Even she said that of all the possessions she had ever done, Macaque's was the easiest. No matter how weak a creature is, they would always fight her back even if they let her control them, she'd feel a little resistance, but not her poppet, Macaque never fought her.

Back then, Wukong thought she was just taunting him. But after the battle was over. He discovered that she might not have been lying.

He took the unconscious friend back to his island. His pulse was weak, but it was still there, so Wukong took care of him, hoping, no, praying he would wake up.

When Macaque finally woke up, Wukong found him standing next to the bed he was sleeping on. Wukong walked inside, and Macaque bowed for him, that was it, a simple bow. But Wukong, on the other hand, felt his tears on the corner of his eyes as he approached him. In the end, he pulled him to a hug and cried like a baby.

It was too dark back then for Wukong to see the look on Macaque's face, but it didn't take him long to see it. It was empty.

_"I take it there's no progress?" Nezha, who was invited for lunch, said then sipped from his tea cup.

_"No. And I don't know how to make it." Wukong said as he sat down on the chair beside him.

_"Did he even say anything?"

_"No, not even a word. It's been a year. How long would it take for him to get better?"

_"I already told you, he'd been in the Diyu for a very long time, it was designed to cleanse anyone in there until they could reincarnate. He should've reincarnated a long time ago. I don't know why he hasn't. So I won’t lie to you, I don't think he'll ever get better."

_"Don't be such a downer. He might get better with time."

_"Wukong. He doesn't do anything unless you tell him to. He is literally sitting in a chair holding a plate. He didn't even put the plate down."

_"He's just a little tired, he was cooking today, that's all. Macaque, put the plate on the table."

_"He cooked because you told him to. He'd jump off a bridge if you tell him."

_"Nuh-uh. He wouldn't. And we'll never know because I'll never ask him to do anything that might hurt him."

_"You still feel guilty about that time?"

_"I thought if I told him to do something he hates, he'd get angry and say no! But he did it!"

_"Would you relax. He just ate a lemon."

_"He HATES lemons."

_"And maybe he started liking them. Who knows?"

_"I know! And I'm telling you, he hates anything with a sour taste."

_"Does he even know he's eating? I mean, I've never seen him chew. He just puts the food in his mouth and swallows."

_"That doesn't mean I have to feed him bad tasting food."

_"But you make him cook it."

_"I don't know how to cook and I'm not feeding him my hair, also if he's gonna eat it, it's better if he does it the way he likes."

_"For what it's worth, he looks much healthier than when I first saw him. He looked like a corpse."

_"Thanks, at least it's going well in that department."

_"He still sleeps standing up?"

_"Agh! I got him to his room and told him to get some sleep! And guess what!?"

_"He was in the same spot?" Nezha said in the voice of someone who heard the same story a 100 times.

_"He was in the same spot! Sleeping while standing up!"

_"Uh huh."

_"I was so worried I ended up making him sleep next to me every night."

_"Did that work?"

_"No.. yes- I don't know. He closes his eye for like three minutes then opens it again, I'm not sure what that is but it's really making me worry."

_"So what now?"

_"Blue guy said there's this thing called therapy. He said his therapist might be able to give some advices."

_"And you'll do that?"

_"I don't know what else to do. I've tried every potion, every healing magic, even asked the monk with he glasses to use some of his powers and it did absolutely nothing. Macaque is still the same."

_"What if you order him to tell you what's wrong? Wouldn't that help?"

_"I can't bring myself to order him to speak. It feels wrong. If he doesn't want to speak. He doesn't have to. At least that much I can give him."

_"And what if that therapy thing doesn't work?"

_"I'll find something else to try."

_"Wukong... Maybe it's best if you-"

_"No. He'll get better."

(Macaque is basically a doll that does whatever is told and Wukong is doing everything in his power to get him better... will he ever get better?)

[niamhthefae]

just reread season 2 up to 120 and i have so many thougts (that people have probably already had but oh well).

just warning you: this will be a long post

willtressor: i feel so sorry for Will, not the him that kissed Monty but the other him. because the Will that died finally got the answer to the question he was too afraid to ask. He died having finally had the realization about everything he'd felt his entire life and why he was the way he was, and just the "that's 3 times. I've never seen you stick your neck out for anyone else" this is the bravest, the most confident, the most WILL we've seen him. He wasn't groveling, he was challenging Monty, he took charge of the situation. For the duration of the kiss, he reversed their roles. I am so proud of him. But this other Will didn't get that. this other Will has to continue on, being scared and thinking he's so inferior to everyone else. in life he was just one of fourteen kids and in death he still doesn't see himself as any more noticeable or important. This Will never got the resolution he needed and now he's going to probably be so confused and continue to feel forgotten and useless for a while (unless Monty does something)

speaking of Monty- oh my fucking god. At first i didn’t like him, and i still won’t completely excuse some of the things he said and did, but from the flashbacks and the past few chapters it's very evident that this is a severely traumatized man. he's fucked up. and we see that he really cares about Will. he can’t admit it or show it in any way that would be recognizable to anyone else but again, i quote "that's 3 times now, I've never seen you stick your neck out for anyone else" i think what we have to remember about him is that he is a deeply fucked up individual and he has probably had to learn how to defend himself mentally, emotionally and physically. this whole thing he does, i think it's because if he makes everyone hate him on purpose then the rejection is easer and he doesn't have to deal with anybody trying to get close, which is maybe why ada and will piss him off so much: no matter how hard he tries to get rid of them they kept coming back and clinging onto him and acting like he hung the fucking moon and stars (or at least Will does). I think the events of episode 120 will make him do one of two things: become better and treat will properly while being a little haunted. or become worse,more scared and build more (metaphorical) walls and only become meaner. (and i'm starting to think it will be the latter. he'll be scared and haunted and all for a few chapters and then he'll start being crueler to cover up his sexuality panic.

prospero -

Prospero- i'm gonna put away my biases for this one (i think he's really fit). First of all, i called the whole plague thing + OCD tendancies (my best friend has really bad ocd and she suspects i have very very mild ocd ESPECIALLY around germs and mould and bacteria so i know what it looks like) anyway onto the serious talking. Seing prospero get slurred and the way he interracts with his family tells us so much. I'm pretty sure we're in the eighteen tens here and many italian and spanish immigrants were not treated the best, especially because of the mass sickness at the time, which i imagine only worsened Prospero's problems with germs and being unclean. People calling him names and treating him as inferior and some people blaming the plague on the immigrants would probably have made him spiral a little. I am so annoyed at his cousin because they've presumably known each other for a while. We know that because this guy knows exactly how to mess with Prospero, so surely he knows that this has been a thing for a long time? Feeling the way that prospero does about cleanliness doesn't happen overnight and while we don't know about anything before this, we can assume that people in the community would know about it, especially if they are family. I also feel so bad for him because people don't seem to understand. They think he's digusted by them or that he wants to distance himself from them or that he doesn't love them, when in actual fact he just has something going on with him that makes it difficult for him to get close to anyone. Weather he's aroace or just can't get close to anyone or express his love because of whatever is going on with him, we don't know. Red and Flynn could take it in very interesting directions either way, or if there's some secret third thing i'm sure it will be fantastic.

[also, in another universe, prospero could have worked with carlise cullen while he was alive. Someone write the fic.]

Quickfire round (don't have as much rambling or analysis for these)

Duke- duke is hiding behind who he is on stage, he's the fearless fortunato and that means that he will keep being reckless and disregarding the safety of himself and others until he exhausts himself and girlbosses to close to the sun. Only then will he learn. I love him, don't get me wrong. I love this silly little french man, but he needs to stop being so cocky and showing off when they are literally about to die for a second time.

Ada- i feel so sorry for ada. For the majority of this fic i didn't like her, but all she ever really wanted in life and in death was to be loved, and damn can i relate to that. She deserved better. She was annoying and bitchy and kind of a pick me but she deserved better. She was like that because she had to be. Do you think she saw the nurse's outfit and was hit with a strande deja vu? Because it was so similar to her maid's uniform. Ada clings onto anyone she can because all she wants is to be loved, but she'll never get the love she craves. She wants to be cinderella, but she won't marry a prince, she didn't even make it out of the cellar.

Pluto: this guy is really just the human embodiment of a cat isn't he? As a manchester girly i love the lancashire representation with this guy, i've been to blackpool like 10 times for various occasions throughout my life. I think it's a tie between him and Will for my favorite character. (also i can't decide if he is just really gender or really fit)

Unrelated but does anybody know the age range? Like are they adults or teenagers? Because with some of them like pluto and morella and maybe Will and eulalie it seems like they're at least 17 but no older than 19. but with some of the others they're very clearly in their early 20s, like Montressor,duke, prospero and Ada are all deffo above the age of 20, as are our main ladies. That's just my perspective though

Anyway's theres a whole recap of my current Nevermore thoughts. So far in order of obsession my ships are Willtressor Lenore and anabell (idk ship name) And i'm gonna be honest i don’t really ship plukalie but i can't remember any other ships.

Quick theory time: what if the reason Lenore hasn't manifested yet isn't the curse or something. The deans said they would manifest when they felt what they felt when they died. What if when she died, for that split second, lenore felt loved, or content. What if the reason why it hasn't happened is because in order for her to manifest she would need to be happy and feel safe. I don't think she's really properly felt any of those things for more than a short while durning her time at nevermore. Never long enough or completely enough anyway, because for either of those things to be fulfilled she would need annabel, and there is no other way for her to feel what she felt when she died.

(btw please bear in mind i started writing this whole post at 11:35 last night and i have exams so my brain is not braining i should be REVISING not thinking about GAY PEOPLE god damn it)

[insane-in-the-membranee]

Men fucking scare me.

Now, some are going to go like, "it's not all men", " Are you also scared of your dad/brother/male relative?", "Another 'feminist' hating on men" and so on probably. Sure, it's not all men but it's always men.

I was scrolling insta when I came across a reel where a guy is complaining about how whenever there is a crime concerning a woman, we raise our voice and protest yet when there is a crime concerning a man, there is barely even news coverage. Which is certainly true and fair. But seriously, right now? Why is it that men always complain whenever people are trying to give justice to a poor victim girl?? I totally agree that whether men or women, all victims should get their justice but have some fucking sympathy instead of complaining?!?

Next, another reel where a lawyer guy was talking about women's safety laws and all, the comments? "Law for women, la*da for men". Well, why don't you go and take a look at the statistics? Maybe read the news daily, I mean the local one. Again, I'm NOT against men's safety, ofc no. It's just that, why can't men complain or raise their concerns without pulling the women with them? What do you want? The laws that are made for us (not that they're REALLY useful) to go nil??? Or what?? Equality? That is feminism. Fucking equality!! You don't hear a true feminist complaining, "why do men get paid more than us? Salary for men, chillar for women" or anything, instead it's "We want to get paid the same as that of a man." Again, I'm NOT speaking against men particularly, just the ones who feel enraged towards us just because we want to get treated as a human first, and equally.

I was talking to a guy friend and his attitude is, "Yeah what happened to her is TERRIBLE but hey, it's not like I can do anything about that? I would never do that and be a good person but that's all I can do, I can't tell the rapists that what they did was wrong and they'd too be like 'oh yes yes oops we did wrong' right?". Now, I do understand his perspective but sure a bit more sympathy and kindness won't hurt anyone?? He even has a sister!! And in the age of social media, anyone with a phone can contribute to some extent.

When I read the details of the case, my soul cried out. I can't even imagine her sorrow. Oh my goodness. My insides felt all queasy reading those gruesome details. All girls of all ages have almost experienced a bad incident with men. Harassment, molestation, abuse, assault, SOMETHING! So many cases everyday and so many more which don't even get registered. Rapes have become so common in India that unless and until it's something very gruesome, people don't even bother that much. It's always "What has it got to do with me" until it's someone you, someone who is close to you. 78 years of independence yet girls are still caged behind walls.

It's always "Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao", Beti padh toh li lekin Beti bach nahi pai. Why is it always "Arre voh toh ladhka, voh toh aise he karega", Voh aisa kyu karega?!?

Why is that ladhkiyo ko mana karte hai raat mein bahar jaane ke liye because it's not safe for her, lekin ladhke puri raat awaaragardi kare, koi dikkat nahi.

Why can't we just teach boys to respect women? To not just respect women, but to respect everyone? The next person is a living being, is that not a good enough reason to not be cruel??

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-ry4xNvZw0/?igsh=N2M0bW51c3dueGpi

Ajeeb toh hai.

[princessmaybank]

AAAAH CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 1.5K BESTIEEEEE 💕💕💕💕

I'm intrigued in finding out what you're gonna cook up with this one

🍒 22.) "Do I make you horny Y/N?" with JJ ofc ;))))))) with him edging reader like crazy

love youuu 💕💕😘

Thank you for your ask baby! I hope you enjoy this! I tried! Sorry it's longer than I anticipated. Let me know what you think!

Do I Make You Horny?

Pairings: BestFriend!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I think it's literally just oral (Fem. receiving) and edging...if not let me know!

Summary: Read the ask ^

Author's Note: I hope you like it! I tried!

Y/N's POV:

"Pope what the fuck?!" JJ squealed to his best friend that splashed him with water. Pope only laughed in response as JJ started pulling his shirt off over his head. I couldn't help but squeeze my thighs together when I saw his wet abs. It was only us three today because the others had work or were busy to some capacity.

My eyes wandered my best friend's toned body as I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. I tried so hard to focus on literally anything else. The guys started walking towards me so I tried to re-adjust myself. "Hey sorry Y/N something came up and I'm gonna have to leave." My eyes met with a sad Popes. "That's okay Pope, we can hang later." I smiled at him before he walked away. "Does that mean you're leaving too?" I look to JJ. "No, we're friends too, we can hang, unless ya don't wanna.." He said shrugging his shoulders. "No!" I shout. My cheeks went hot from embarrassment. I tried to hide it as he sat at the foot of my long beach chair. "I mean no, I'd like to hang with you Jay." I said once I figured out how to speak correctly again. He chuckled lightly to himself before looking me in the eyes. "C'mon let's go to the chateau." He helps me off the chair and we pack up, heading towards John B's house.

JJ POV:

"Pope what the fuck?!" I threw my hands in the air after he splashed me with water. I hated the feeling of a wet T-shirt, it didn't sit right with me so I took it off and threw it to the side. "Yo, looks like you've got an admirer." Pope points toward Y/N, who is staring at me like she is ready to devour me. "Fuck me..." Is all I could mutter. "Maybe you should go sort that out.." My best friend winked at me and patted my back. "You sure bro?" I asked, feeling bad about leaving him hanging. "Dude, plenty of time to catch up later. Go get em tiger." He pats me on the back before we walk over to her and explain that he needed to leave. When we got over there, she looked so flustered, it made my dick tug in my jeans.

I finally got her to agree to go back to the chateau with me. She hopped on my bike after I did and she seemed a little scared. "Gotta hold on Y/N." I tried to grab her arms and pull them around my torso but she pulled away. I couldn't see her face but I bet her cheeks are beat red right now. "C'mon I won't bite, gotta hold on to me." I say teasingly. She still didn't listen so I threw my kickstand up and jerked the bike forward, it made her fall into my back and hold on tight. I smirked to myself and drove us to JB's house.

When we got there she seemed so on edge, I tried handing her a beer, even trying to get her to have a smoke sesh but nothin. She just sat there with her hands between her thighs. They squeezed her clasped hands and she couldn't look me in the eyes. She was so turned on. I can't lie, seeing her like this made my dick twitch. "Hey y'alright?" I ask trying to have some sort of conversation. "I'm fine, we just never hang out, alone." That's the point. Needed her alone. Needed her to myself. I walk over and sit next to her on the couch. My hand gently placed itself on her thigh before I took the last swig of my beer. "So?" I ask curiously. "So...it's not like awkward?" She still couldn't look at me. Her thighs seemed to be squeezing tighter now that I was so close. "Why would it be awkward?" I try to get her eyes on mine without touching her. She stayed silent.

I asked again. "Y/N. Why would it be awkward?" I say and as soon as I'm finished with my sentence, I grab her chin and tilt it up so her gorgeous eyes are on mine. I must have done it a little forcefully based on the whimper that shot out of her mouth. A smirk gathered on my lips as I squeezed her thigh, eliciting a moan from her lips. I bring her face closer, now more intimidating. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I ask and watch as her cheeks flushed. "W-wha-" She was frantic before I shushed her. "Hey, it's okay.." I released her hands from her thighs "..got me excited too princess." I say and place one of her hands on my covered cock. Her mouth shot open in surprise.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jay..." She stood up fast and wrapped her arms around herself. "Y/N.." I warned, standing slowly. "Come here." I motioned with my fingers. Surprisingly she complied. I dip my head next to her ear and place my finger in the band of her shorts, sliding back and forth teasingly. "So you're telling me, that if I dip my fingers in that sweet little pussy of yours.." I exhale deeply. "..you won't soak my fingers?" My hand traveled lower, I heard her gasp from my touch when I reached her clit. Pushing past, I slowly meet her entrance before sliding them in with ease. She gasped louder this time. "Still don't know what I'm talking about?" I asked, pulling my fingers from her hole and bringing them between our faces, showing off just how slick she was with one pump. I looked her in the eyes as I sucked her juices off of me. "So sweet..gonna let me taste some more princess?" She was awfully quiet today, nothing like her. "I see the uncertainty in your eyes princess, why don't we have a trial run, you let me eat you out and if it doesn't work or is too overwhelming, we never talk about it again." I smile at her. "What if it does.." She questioned, her cheeks were hot. "Then we'll talk about this, but for now I really wanna dip my tongue in you...gonna let me?" She nods and I lead her to the bedroom.

By the time I got her bottoms and panties off, she was breathing heavily and trying to hide. I reassured her that I was so excited to see her beautiful body. Eventually she trusted me and opened up for me. My first finger found its way to her opening and ran up and down her slit. "I'm gonna ask you again, since I didn't like your answer last time." I chuckled and looked up at her. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I smirked as her cheeks blared red. "Ye-yes." She whispered. "Yes what princess?" I teased and continued moving my finger up and down. "Ye-yes daddy-" Y/N said. It spilled right out of her mouth. She looked extremely embarrassed, but I was hot and bothered by it. "Not what I was asking for, but I like your response better." I smirk. "Keep calling me that princess." My tongue poked out and I placed it at the bottom of her entrance. I slid it up slowly to her clit and back down.

As my tongue picked up pace while swirling all around, my fingers found her nipples and pinched them. I looked up for a moment and saw that she was covering her mouth, she was still being quiet. I pulled my mouth away and got close to her. Y/N whined when I got close. "I was about to cum.." Shock was written over my face. "Princess. I highly doubt that. You didn't make a peep." I laid next to her. "No I swear I was so close!" She exclaimed. "Okay well you're gonna have to let me hear those pretty little sounds come from your lips if ya want me to do my job right." I smirked and her cheeks heated up again. She was so easy to fluster. I loved it. Y/N nodded in response and I got back to work.

I looked up from my position between her legs and noticed she was subconsciously starting to cover her mouth again, so I did what anyone else would do and bit her clit. She let out a loud moan and rolled her hips on my face.

I replayed that moment in my head so many times in the moment and tried not to bust in my shorts. My lips stayed on her clit and sucked as my fingers started pushing inside her. "Oh shit- Jay-" She moaned again. As much as I loved hearing my name on her lips, I asked her to call me something else. I pulled away again, removing my fingers as well. "What did you call me princess?" I smirked as she whined. She looked up at me with an annoyance in her eyes. "Your name!" She crossed her arms. "That's not my name right now princess..you know that." I slapped her clit lightly and her body jerked. "I'm sorry." She huffed. I gave her a look telling her she was missing something. "I'm sorry- daddy.." She rolled her eyes. I laughed. "That'll do for now, we'll talk about your attitude later." I squatted in front of her again, taking the same position I'd been in this entire time.

My tongue went into her hole and I flicked it up and down slowly. Her small hands found my hair, tugging gently, though she'd probably think she was being too rough. "Please- more.." She gasped. "More what princess..?" I asked and went back in. "Please give me more daddy.." She barely got through her sentence before I picked up my pace and fucked her with my tongue. My hand traveled to her clit and rubbed harsh circles, making more moans slip out. My mouth left her opening and spit on her lower lips. I sucked on them a little before my tongue went to her clit and my fingers went back inside her hole. Her moans were more intense now.

I chuckled and pulled my lips away from her and slowed my fingers down, not to a stop, just enough for her to want more. "Look at me. Look me in the eyes princess.." I said slightly above a whisper. She's such a good girl, her eyes fell to mine. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I smirked. "Y-you- asked that already..please- faster.." Y/N whined. "C'mon princess, just answer the question and you'll get what you want.."

A whimper left her lips. My fingers pumped slowly inside of her, not picking up any pace. "Mmmm please-" Maybe she wasn't a good girl. My free hand went to her clit and slapped it harder than last time. "Yes daddy! Yes you make me horny!" She screamed, for everyone to hear. Thankfully no one was home. Actually I'm not sure I'd care if they had heard her coming undone for me. I sped up and reattached my lips to her clit, licking and sucking on it until her back arched off the bed.

"Gonna cum for me princess?" I moved for a brief moment and immediately went back. "Mmm- uh-huh, f-fuck.." She breathed out through moans. I removed my fingers and replaced them with my tongue so I could taste her. Soon enough she released in my mouth while she screamed my name. My tongue cleaned up any cum that I may have missed and I went up to lay with her.

"So.." I teased. Y/N chuckled with her eyes closed. "Jay- let's talk later, let me catch my breath then I'm sucking your dick." I laughed so hard. "Okay pri-" She cut me off. "No- You think you can edge me a few times and think you can just get away with that? I don't think so." Oh fuck. I should've thought about that. "Fine princess, just go easy on me.." I smiled. "Yeah, sure. You're cute."

[sams-butt-dem0n]

Darry x high school gf!reader

• You and Darry had been together for years now; four to be exact. The two of you had met in high school when you moved to Tulsa in your Junior year and you fell in love with him instantly.

• You had met his parents, obviously before they died, many times and they were always so kind to you, especially his mom. She was the best.

• It was because of this that when they passed, you felt like you had lost your family too. However, you could only comfort Darry and his brothers and ensure everything ran smoothly.

• Darry hated that. He wanted to be the one in charge all the time. He believed he was the man of the house and while that did annoy you (and trust me it annoyed you A LOT), you completely understood that all he was trying to do was look out for his little brothers.

• Ponyboy definitely loves you to pieces: you help him with his homework, you read with him, you buy him lots of cool stuff to show off to Johnny and Dallas whenever they are off on their shenanigans, and you are just there for him all the time.

• Soda views you more as a best friend than he does as a sister. He can always joke around with you and have a good time; he can sit and talk when things aren't going so well; he rambles to you about Sandy (when they were together) and cries when she breaks his heart.

• Ponyboy loves that you don't see him as a little kid and that you take the majority of the things he says seriously. I mean, he does have his stupid moments, but doesn't everyone? You treat him as an equal, like the rest of the gang.

• Speaking of the gang, they all love you a whole bunch, especially when you cook for them in the mornings after a rumble and they're all burned out.

• Darry loves that you're so involved with the gang, more his brothers, and he honestly couldn't have hoped for anything better.

• Darry himself never really had much free time, not after his parents died. He's always working, trying to keep the boys alive and while you appreciate that, you just wish he'd give himself a break, even if it was just one day every 2 weeks.

• He's constantly worn out and the only time he ever gets to spend with you is when he's asleep after overworking himself and being sent home early.

• You did miss the boy you met in high school and you missed being able to spend time with him and go on dates but you knew that he wasn't going to change. He was doing it for his family.

• However, on the very rare occasion that you DID get to spend time with Darry, he would always have an arm around you. whether that's around your waist, over your shoulders, or even just a hand on your knee. He wanted to be touching you because he knew it would be a while before he could do it again.

• Definitely calls you "darling" and the classic "babe" but he isn't really a sucker for pet names.

• When he has a later start for work, he'll come up behind you while you're making ponyboy and Soda and whoever else decides to stop over the night before some breakfast, and he'll place his hands on your hips and kiss the back of your head, rubbing his hands on your skin before walking to get a drink or help set the table.

• Gets teased by Soda sometimes when he gets caught doing something lovey-dovey like kissing your forehead, staring at you for a little too long or giving you a compliment; but he never does anything outrageous in front of the gang. He won't even kiss your lips around them.

• Darry would never let anybody say a bad word about you and if he ever heard someone, he'd glare them down his his arms crossed, his biceps stretching the fabric of his usual black t-shirt, and his eyes colder than ice.

• As much as you appreciated his protectiveness, sometimes he could scare you with how angry he looked.

• Extremely protective but doesn't let it show unless it's absolutely necessary. Won't bother if some guy calls you hot because he knows that you are but if anybody even dares to lay a finger on you, he'd want to tear their heads off.

• Obviously, he can't do that due to the difficult situation of Soda and Ponyboy getting put in a boy's home, but God, he wanted to.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it! I don't really do much on Darry, Two-bit or Steve but I'm gonna try and make it somewhat even, even though I definitely have my preferences haha.

[arrowfortea]

i really think sera is simultaneously fantastic and also a missed opportunity. solas in DA:I took ~7 rewrites, which is understandable since he's set up for like, Big Things. but i think about that a lot when i'm ~*~musing~*~ on what sera could've been.

sera is far and away the only character by bioware i'm similar to as a person IRL, her voice actress is FANTASTIC, i almost always have her in my party bc i love her, (my url is a sera quote!!), and still!!! she feels SO FLAT TO ME!!! and i CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT!!!! this is going to be a very Vibes Based critique and i might pull up quotes etc for a post in future but i just need to. get it Out

maybe it's a "woman written by a man" issue. she feel so close to being Real and Relatable and then swings wide, it's so weird. i do think a deep part of it stems from the writers/narrative going "yeah she can really get on your nerves lol!" — for the most blatant example of this, see: the fact she's the only party member with a constant "get out of the inquisition" button on her dialogue wheel. i also feel this in how hard-line her opinions are, while at the same time she argues them, for the most part, from a place of vibes (like moi Right Now lmao) or shuts down the other side.

it reminds me of da2 where fenris is given time to Discourse with hawke about mages in the gallows, and mage companions in attendance will interject with like "yeah but. locking people up is bad" which YES! IT IS!!! 100% I AM ON YOUR SIDE but the writing gives fenris way more time to Outline his Facts and Logic so the mage companions look like they're just shutting him down in bad-faith.

and there's no real arc for her! her personal quest is about red jenny stuff and maybe working with a guy for the inquisition but then Not. (there is a point to be made about vivienne's personal quest similarly being Lacking in many people's opinion, but as this isn't a post abt her i'm not going to Delve, but i would be remiss not to mention it) yes we HEAR about her backstory but. then that's doneskies.

the romance is just having a good time (unless you're an elf who drank from the well in which case she dumps you which.. i both do and don't take issue with? it makes sense for her as a static character, but i don't WANT her to be static) — again this is where i start to chafe at my own rationale because.. do i want there to be more drama/conflict? yes. do i trust the existing writers to make the lesbian couple's drama not something trite or offensive? mmmmmm. mmmmm.

she has so many interesting aspects but they all feel like they got tacked on and then chucked out the window! the clearest "hey.. what's this meant to be" is how she seems fade-sensitive in banter with solas. i know this is used as evidence for "does she have some andruil in her", which i'm onboard with, but INGAME i'm sad the fade sensitivity seems solely relegated to the solas banters. like? did they just run out of stuff for them to talk about? 💀

her existentialism makes me WANT TO GNAW MY KEYBOARD it's SO EXCITING to see a character touch on existentialism the way she does; "The Nothing" WAS INSANE to see on her tombstone the first time round when i was expecting something juvenile. i knew what it meant immediately and i think it's so interesting; i'm really glad we get a talk with her afterwards abt it. do i also wish this existentialism more clearly permeated her characterisation ahhehehwhehahhe Yes

as for the Elfy issue: i'm not from any of the minorities that the writing for elves draws coding from, so. grain, salt. i don't think "i don't want to be seen as An Elf(TM)", or being not big on the dalish, needed to be handled in such a blatant "this is internalised racism i cannot talk you out of" way. again, fenris in da2 is a dick about the dalish, but he does have a personal relationship with his identity as an elf which feels authentic.

i also hate how shafted city elves got in DA:I so sera being from an alienage (when she was very young) but then that being breezed past makes me. sad whatever I KNOW SHE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A THING I JUST WANTED CITY ELVES SOMEWHEREEEE

i do love her journal though. that is top tier and i love it and 5 stars and whoever thought of that is amazing (probably her writer. sigh. credit sadly is due where credit is due /j)

anyway i should probably compile this into a better argued and evidenced post i just !!!!!

[fawnprincessblog]

Hi everyone, guess who's back.

After 2 months of absence i've decided to bring myself back on here and explain some things that have happened.

💗

After publishing a post a while back regarding incest, i had recieved a lot of hate since then. When i posted it I had no idea how much hate I was bound to receive from all of you once you guys saw it, and honestly i didn't think it would get that much attention. After realising it was clearly causing so much hate I posted an apology, which all you also thought was total shit, so I deleted that too.

And right after, I was bombarded with an ungodly amount of death threats through my inbox, people asking me to kill myself and end it. It was a whole lot, and I really didn't think that one measly post would set you guys off so fast. And honestly I was surprised to see how much there was. My inbox was full of them, and I couldn't handle it all.

Soon enough as expected one person had gone anonymous, sending inbox messages to my followers to report the 'heinous crime' I've committed by posting one silly thing, which by the way, put out a lot of false information. The person was over exaggerating, putting shitty words in my mouth. And I'm here now to talk about all the accusations the person has made. To the people who recieved the inbox message, here's your real explanation from the blogger who made the damn posts.

1. I 'nonchalantly' wrote twincest about Tom and Bill.

First of all, I have never in my life intended to ship the damn twins. If you have checked tumblr well enough, you should be aware there's tons of threesome sex fics about Tom and Bill, where they both fucked the reader at once. And if you fucking bothered to read my fic properly and not jump to conclusions to try so damn hard and cancel me, you'd know damn well Tom and Bill never even touched eachother in the fic that I wrote. They didn't have sex with eachother, they didn't DIRTY TALK eachother, and they did NOT do anything that would have come across as incest.

They both simply fucked the reader and talked to the reader, having nothing to do with each other in the fic. Get your damn facts right b4 you try to sound like a fucking smartass.

2. I want to be 'chained up and used.'

Kinks and fantasies everyone, c'mon. People have FUCKING KINKS. And mind you, this is tumblr. If you srsly see shit like this and start acting out because it makes you sad then clearly it's not for you so like just scroll? You have a damn finger, don't you? Unless, y'know, you cut the damn thing off.

Anyway, I think it's pathetic you're acting all petty over it cause you wanna cancel someone so bad and be the fucking hero of the day. Nobody cares, cunt.

3. I wanted to 'abuse' Bill.

To clarify this one, I do agree that the term 'abuse' was too strong. I don't intend to fucking abuse the poor guy, I just had no idea how to fucking word my sentence and how I was trying to get the damn message out. I've already edited my post on this one. So, chill out.

4. I'm 'anti-lgbt'?

This shitty one has been going around a LOT ever since I posted something regarding how annoying Bill was in the Kaulitz & Kaulitz series, where he talked alot about his sexuality.

First of all I'm not fucking homophobic. To let you guys know I am a Catholic Christian, (ik, not a very holy one) and supporting the lgbt community is definitely not on the list. And even if so, I do not disrespect anyone who's part of it. We aren't told to treat you guys any less. And for me, although I never encouraged the idea, I don't look lower on the person. Even I myself catch myself in a 'lesbian-feeling' situation sometimes.

And if you've seen the comments on the post I made about that Bill thing, all the comments agree with my anyway. We all collectively agree he went a little overboard but so what? I'm just saying. Suck on that, stupid hoe!

5. I support pedophilia.

Babe, check the post again and see how many people were totally okay with the damn post in the first place. I have never agreed ever that pedophilia was okay, and there's tons of older Tom fics with this age gap. Please, istg, do your research before crying over spilled milk to save yourself the embarrassment.

And, to let y'know, who ever sent these inbox messages, one of the friends that you sent these to—I think her name was 'pain of l0ve' or smtg—was totally one of the biggest supporters on that post asking for a full blown fic of older tom and the 17 year old girl. She uses to be my follower too. Dw, I have a screenshot before she blocked me and tried to act all shocked and surprised that I post those malicious things you said! ^^

mm...that really pissed me off ngl 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, that concludes it. Hope this answers your questions about all this misinformation that this person has spread in attempt to cancel me.

I also just want to put it out there that I'm really sorry for posting something like that, and now looking at it I do agree that it was weird. I apologise for anyone who got uncomfortable. All the death threats I've received weren't necessary though. I don't ever think it's right to go that far on anyone. Please be mindful sometimes. Other than that, I'm really sorry.

And I also wanna thank @itsangelll for being there for me when I couldn't answer all the haters myself. Girl you really helped me out, standing up for me and explaining the situation. Ilysm always 💗💗

But for the cunt that sent out all the inbox messages, I hope you had fun doing so anyways :3 I really do appreciate all the stalking and effort you put in just for me so you could cancel me and be heard! 🥺 Seriously the hero of the day! You really read through all my stuff so you could dig out the littlest things! Talk about dedication!! Quite obsessed I must say.

Kisses, love ya! 💋💋💗

[dckweed]

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

okay don't ask how i got this out so fast, im literally so fuckin obsesessed with this series right now.

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART THREE: the weekend

thursday.

“What in the hell did you put me up to?” Gator’s voice rings out across the barn a couple of hours later. You wince, hearing the anger swirling under the tense tone as his footsteps thunk closer to you across the wooden floor. You’re still facing Bubbles, trying to get her untacked but it’s not easy when you don’t have a step ladder, you didn’t check if there was one in the trailer when you left and you didn’t feel right going snooping around the Tillman barn, afraid it might get you in trouble. 

“It’s just a few days,” You roll your eyes, grateful that he can’t see you because something tells you that the Tillman didn’t take kindly to bratty behavior like eye rolling. Not married yet or not, you were pretty much belonged to Gator now in the eyes of society in Stark County, nobody would bat an eye if he reprimanded you for it. “And i put us up to it, genius.” 

“Well gee, Pearl, you could have fuckin’ consulted me first, dontcha think?” He’s right next you in the stall now, his much larger hands moving yours out of the way as he could actually see over the top of your horse to undo all of her stuff. “Why the hell would i want to spend my weekend babysitting my sisters?” 

You scoff, turning to face him with your hands on your hips. You roll your eyes again and you know he sees you as his eyes narrow. “Ya know what asshole, you’re fuckin’ right!” You say, not going to put up with any of his damn attitude. “I shoulda slid right off my horse, left your daddy right out there in the field and come find you just to ask if it was okay.” He opens his mouth to retaliate, or maybe to tell you off for cursing at him or getting cross with him. “I may be younger than you but i’m still an adult, Gator, i’m gonna be your wife not your fuckin’ kid, don’t ever expect me to wait and ask your fuckin’ permission to do shit unless it’s necessary. That isn’t how this is goin’ to work.” 

He doesn’t say anything but pulls the saddle off of the horse with a huff and you turn on your heel, leading her out of the stall and out to the trailer. Gator stands in the stall for a moment after you’ve gone, listening to the clip clop of the horses hooves as you guys go. He closes his eyes for a second, readjusting the weight of your heavy ass saddle before guiltily following you along. You weren’t wrong, he was being an asshole. He hated being wrong, and he hated apologizing even more but he couldn’t let you go around stomping your feet and being mad at him all damn weekend, something told him that probably wasn’t in his best interest. And besides, he did actually feel bad for snapping at you like that, you didn’t deserve it. He did like seeing you get all riled up like that though, the storm that started brewing in your eyes..it was a nice change from your normally friendly and people pleasing personality. He liked that you obviously knew how to stand up for yourself too.  

The door of the trailer was open by the time he had finally meandered his way out of the barn, and he can hear you getting the horse settled into it. He makes quick work of putting the saddle into the back of your Jeep, closing the door and making his way to the trailer. He watches you, one arm braced against the metal door as his eyes follow your movements. You pat your horse on her long nose and then turn around, hands on your hips as you step down onto the ground of the driveway. 

You’re staring up at him expectantly, chewing your plump bottom lip with your hands on your hips. It took all the will power he never knew he had not to put his thumb on your fucking mouth, stopping you from what you surely couldn’t have realized was a surprisingly sinful act. He licks his chapped lips, looking off to the side before sighing. “I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole.” He says quietly, brown eyes searching your face for any sort of reaction. “I shouldn’t have snapped at ya like that..” 

Your face softens and something close to a smile graces the corners of your mouth as you push his chest lightly, your hands no longer defensively on your hips. “Apology accepted.” You say, meaning it. You had forgiven him the moment you had snapped at him too, you knew he was just as new to this whole situation as you were, you guys were still learning one another, that wasn’t any excuse to be yelling at each other but it was a reason to never let it happen again without at least trying to talk first. “But i’m not sorry for snappin’ back at you. You deserved it.” 

He laughs, a genuine, hearty sound coming from his throat and brings a hand up to muss your hair as he helps you close up and lock the trailer. “Alright..suppose we better go get that lunch you were talkin’ about earlier and then go pack up your stuff for the weekend.” The sun was fully up now, and even though it was only nine thirty in the morning, and he had all of an hour and a half of sleep under his belt, he was ready for lunch with you, and he was ready to get his dad and his wife out of the fuckin’ house so he could maybe relax just a little bit, maybe get a few more hours of sleep..

After a small squabble about who’s going to drive the Jeep you’re pulling up to the curb of Gator’s favorite diner in town, and he’s letting out a breath of relieved air as he steps foot on the ground. 

“Oh stop bein’ so dramatic!” You laugh walking side by side with him up to the door of the busy diner. He had spent the whole ten minute drive with one hand braced on the back of your seat and the other braced on the dash, telling you to slow down or to not hit your brakes so damn hard or to stop taking corners so fast and sharp with a damn horse trailer attached to you. You rolled your eyes after every comment, but found them more and more endearing as you heard the actual fear in his voice. That wasn’t the first time a boy had been scared to be in your passenger seat before. 

“Stop bein’ such a bad fuckin’ driver!” He retaliates, brown eyes wide as he holds open the door of the diner for you, you cackle and duck under his arm, breathing in his cologne and the smell of that damn fruity ass vape that he keeps puffing on. “You’re a menace to the road, Pearl, i swear!” 

He hears you mocking him and pushes the back of your head gently as the two of you find an empty space in the busy restaurant, a booth in the back corner next to windows where the light shines in. He insists on taking the side of the booth that faces the rest of the diner, wanting to have a good view of any potential danger (though he doesn't tell you that). 

A friendly waitress sidles up to the table as the two of you settle, you giggling after he mutters something more about your driving. “Mornin’ Gator, miss.” She says, nodding at the two of you. She’s plump and motherly, her hair brown and curly. You can tell from the smile on her face that she clearly knows the boy across the table from you. “Coffee for you, hon?” 

“Yes Ma’am,” Gator nods, one of the friendliest looks you’d seen in your whole short time of knowing him on his face as he looked up at her, his brown eyes filled with warmth you hadn’t seen towards anyone before. “And..i’m feeling lunchy today, how about a patty melt and fries, please?” You realized he must come here pretty often if the waitress knew his coffee order, and he didn’t need a menu to order. 

“You got it Gator,” She says warmly, turning to you next. “And for your..friend?” 

“Fiance, actually.” He says before you have the chance to speak, you’re stunned for a moment and so is the woman. This is the first time anyone outside of your families and the people directly involved with the wedding planning had been told that you guys were technically engaged, your face flushes as the realization and the weight of the title actually being out in the open for the first time. 

You can tell that she wants to ask more questions by the furrow in her brow and the hesitation before she clears her throat, but she thankfully doesn’t pry any farther. “And for your fiance?” 

You give a sheepish smile, that quickly turns to a deep rooted frown when the friendly woman tells you that they don’t stock flavored coffee creamers, or serve iced coffee. “Dr. Pepper then,” You say, the smile returning back to your face as Gator makes a mental note to stop by the local coffee shop for you on the way back to the Augastine ranch. “And I’ll do chicken tenders, with fries please!” 

She gives a smile and says she’ll be back soon, as soon as she gone Gator cracks up laughing at you. “What?” You pout, and he only shakes his head at you, causing your pout to deepen. “It’s not nice to laugh at people, is there dirt on my face? Gator!” The way you whined his name struck a different kind of chord in him and he quickly stopped laughing, shaking his head as he situated himself in his seat. 

He knew most men would have found the whining annoying but it was clear you didn’t do it on purpose, and it sent a tingle down his spine when you said his name like that. “Flavored coffee creamer?” You roll your eyes and kick him under the table, which only makes him laugh more. 

You had to admit, you liked how young and happy it made his face look when he laughed, and you wished he would do more of it. 

A couple of hours tick by as the two of you sit in your cozy little booth in the diner, eating and bickering and laughing at each other as customers come and go around you. He was sweet in his own rugged, rough way, your own personal diamond in the rough. You didn’t mind, it just meant you could have fun chipping away at him and softening him up around the edges. The more you got to know him over the past week, the more you started to think that maybe this marriage thing wouldn’t be so horrible. You could both learn to love each other over the years, and who knows, maybe you would fall in love in the way that all those people in the movies did. You had always wanted a silver screen romance..

Gator pays for the both of you before you can even dig your credit card out of your stupid little purse, which causes you to pout. “Hey, I was the one that asked you to come eat!” You argued and boy just sighs, giving you a pointed look that clearly said to shut the fuck up. You pout but don’t push on the matter, letting him steal the Jeep keys off of the table top as you slide off of your fluffy, overstuffed bench. 

“Alright, lets go pick up your stuff for the weekend and drop your trailer off,” He had work tonight again and he was hoping to get a couple extra hours of sleep in before his father left. The nights were always longer when he was tired, but he wasn’t going to complain. Gator loved his job. 

You follow him through the crowded diner, staying right underfoot. You hadn’t realized before but people were staring at the two of you, it made your cheeks flush when eyes bored into you as you walked and nervously, you grab onto the back of his shirt. He stiffens beneath your touch, and cranes his neck to look at you, eyebrows furrowed under the brim of his hat. “People are staring.” You whisper, he purses his lips and looks around before shrugging as you get closer to the door. “Why are they staring?” You weren’t used to attention like that, and you were afraid that somehow it would get back to Boyd that you were here with Gator and you would somehow get in trouble for it, fiance or not. 

“Because i’m the Sheriff’s son, and this is the first time i’ve been out in public with my fiance.” He says, as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Sherry probably went and spread the word while we were eating, it’s no big deal Pearlie, the whole town was gonna find out one way or another.” He pushes the door of the diner open with one hand, and with the other he grabs your hand off the back of his shirt, using his grip to push you in front of him out the door. 

“I figured they would have done an announcement in the paper or somethin’ by now.” You mutter, hands in your pockets as you walk side by side to the jeep with him. You don’t argue when he opens the passenger side door for you, but you do give him a shit eating grin as you step up onto the running boards to climb in. 

“Yeah, well, they’re probably leaving that up to us too.” He mutters as he closes your door and quickly walks around the front end. You thought it was rather sweet of him, opening the doors for you, but you wouldn’t say anything, you didn’t want to freak him out. He wastes no time in pulling away from the diner, casually driving your car with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift on the center console. 

You studied his hand, how much bigger than the gear shift knob it was, you could barely fit your own around it but his smothered it, leaving no trace of it under his palm. His thick fingers tensing and untensing around it, as if he were squeezing it like a stress ball. You bite your lip, looking up as the car comes to a stop and he throws it in park. “What are we doing?” You ask, noticing him lifting his ass out of the seat out of the corner of his eye, shoving his hand in his pocket. 

“You ask a lot of questions, you know?” He quips, grabbing a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet holding it out towards you. You simply stare at it, and then lift your big ass, curious eyes to stare at him. He sighs, sagging against the seat. “Go in and get your damned flavored coffee, felt bad they didn’t have it at the diner..” 

You feel your cheeks start to flush, and though you were tempted to argue and tell him he didn’t need to stop, you felt yourself unbuckling your seatbelt because that was just too damn sweet. You start to get out of the car, grabbing your purse when he clicks his tongue at you, shoving his hand at you again. You decide it’s best not to argue, you don’t want to annoy him anymore than you clearly already do without meaning to, you take it, using the grip on his hand to pull him across the console. You kiss his cheek sweetly, pulling away with a smile. “Thank you..” You say, turning and jumping from the Jeep as quickly as you could without hurting yourself. 

Gator is stunned by the show of affection, his neck flushed red from the interaction. He shakes his head, fighting back the smile on his face by putting his vape to his mouth as he watches you happily skip into the fucking coffee shop. “She’s gonna be the death of me..” He grumbles to himself, running a hand down his face after breathing out the fruity flavored vape that he filled his lungs with. 

You’re grateful that he’s with you when you go home because you can sense Boyd’s mood before you can see him, the house is still and quiet, the girls off at school for the day, the nanny is not needed until this afternoon. You walk through the front door with Gator laughing about the way he had narrowly avoided a hoof to his head when he was walking with Bubbles, you giggle at him as he exaggerates the scene that you had had your back turned to, shaking your head as you start for the stairs. 

“Where have you been?” His voice is cold and sends a shiver down your spine. You stop in your tracks, one hand on the bannister and turn to face him. You don’t dare look at him, but you put a complacent smile on your face nonetheless. You can feel Gator behind you, his hands sliding into his pockets much like they were on the first time he had been to your so-called home. 

“I was on that ride with Roy,” You say, calling Gator’s father by his name, he tenses behind you at the mention of the man, and you’re tempted to glance up at him and offer him a comforting smile. “And we got to talking about the wedding and what not and how i would like his girls to be in it, and he thought it would be a great idea,” You’re starting to babble, and you begin to worry that your words aren’t making any sense because of the way that his face changes. “So now Gator and I are here to pack up a bag for me because we’re going to be watching his sisters while their parents are gone for the weekend..” 

“We stopped and got an early lunch first,” Gator steps in, you feel his hand on your lower back and it brings a sense of calmness to you for some strange reason. “She was hungry..sorry, i shoulda had her call you or somethin’ didn’t mean to make you worry, Sir..” 

Boyd is quiet for a long beat, his jaw ticking like it does when he’s angry and trying not to show it. You swallow back your fear knowing that you’re safe with Gator here. 

“When will you be back?” He narrows his cold eyes at you, they hold no emotion other than the contempt that you know he feels for you, and that makes you nervous for what you’ll endure when you come home Monday afternoon, but grateful for the time you’ll have away. 

“I’ll be back Monday afternoon, after his parents come home.” You say, tired of the conversation and no longer wanting to be involved. You turn and start heading up the stairs, knocking Gator’s hand from your back as you leave without being dismissed, something you’re sure you’ll hear about next week. “See you then.” 

Gator is quick to follow behind, giving your step father a friendly smile as he clambers up the stairs behind you. “What was that all about?” He asks in a hushed voice as he follows onto the second floor landing. 

You shake your head and walk past your sisters’ room and farther on to yours, locking the door behind you. You don’t notice the way Gator’s eyebrows pinch when he notices you’ve barricaded yourselves in the room by locking it. 

“He’s an asshole.” Is all you say, shrugging off the encounter before heading to your closet to find your suitcase. 

When you come out you see Gator with his hands in his pockets again, looking around your bedroom, the one area of the house that was completely and utterly you. Pink and red accents, white frilly lace..teddy bears and fluffy pillows and blankets..the room was so..you. He had gotten his attention caught to a smattering of photo frames on your big white dresser, all of them held you in them, smiling that big beautiful smile of yours (sometimes it would be reaching your eyes, lighting them up happily, but most times it wasn’t), all of them held different people, your sisters mostly, and whom he assumed was a friend from school, a tall brunette with killer legs in a bikini with her arms around you. There was another guy in the photo too that he tried not to be jealous of, but he had his arm around your waist and was grinning down at the two of you as you guys stood on a dock in front of a boat. He loved how happy you looked there in that moment, like your mind wasn’t laden with such heavy burdens like planning a wedding you were legally bound to, or dealing with a clearly tense situation with your step father. His favorite picture though, was one of you and an older woman, your mama, he assumed. You were laughing in the photo a mess of birthday cake frosting smeared across your cheek and some pink tinsel in your hair. The silver balloons behind you said ‘15’. 

“That’s my mama..” You said, sliding up behind him. He jumps, slightly scared. “That’s the only picture i have left of her..Boyd has all the rest, wont let me see ‘em. I think they’re up in the attic somewhere.” You sniff a little, trying not to cry as you turn away, hands on your hips. “Right, lets get this stuff together.” 

After about an hour or so you’ve stuffed the whole suitcase with more clothes than you really need for an entire weekend, Gator had lightened the mood by teasing you when you tried to hide your panties and bras as you packed them, telling you it’s not like he hadn’t seen any before, and he would be seeing yours for the foreseeable future, and then making you laugh at his genuine confusion at your array of shampoos and body washes in the your shower. 

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those 3 in 1 off the shelf at the grocery store kinda guys..” You laugh, looking at him looking at the four different bottles of soaps in his hands. “Please tell me you use something that costs more than ten dollars on your hair! It’s too pretty not to use cheap crap!” You hadn’t really meant to call his hair pretty out loud, but it really was pretty, you couldn’t deny it.

He doesn’t mention it though and instead looks up at you bewildered. “Are you tellin’ me you spent more than twenty dollars on all this crap combined?” He asks, completely in awe. “Oh my god Pearlie, please tell me you’re not gonna be breakin’ my bank on fuckin’ shampoo- it’s shampoo!” 

The two of you burst out in laughter after a moment and you deemed it best not to tell him how much you spent on hair care quite yet, afraid that he would have an aneurysm if you did. He’s gentlemanly enough to help you carry the suitcase back out to the Jeep. 

He even carries it into his daddy’s house for you, and up the stairs where he shows you his bedroom. He tosses the case unceremoniously onto his bed, where it bounces. You look around for a moment, eyebrows raised as you take in the scenery. It was messier than you had imagined, but it smelled so much like him and his damn vape that you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath of air. The room wasn’t too big, and his queen sized bed took up most of the space, the rest of it littered with his clothes on the floor and posters on the wall..you noticed some trophies on a shelf that you would have to ask about later. 

“It’s not much, and it’s usually not so messy..” He says, you think he might be a little embarrassed by the red flush of his cheeks. “I’m sorry you have to sleep in here with me, but it’s better than the couch or crashing on the floor in the girls’ room..” 

“I don’t mind, Gator..” You say, giving him a little smile as you turn to face him. “It’s a fuckin’ pig stye though.” You laugh and he follows suit, nodding along with you. You had a pretty good idea of what you would be doing to keep yourself busy while Jessica and Maude were at school tomorrow, or until they would come home this afternoon. 

The rest of the early afternoon was spent with Karen giving you a run down of the girls’ schedules and how to feed them and dress them. Something about the woman irritated you to your core, maybe it was the way she clearly held nothing but disdain for her step son, or maybe it as the way that she spoke to you like you were stupid and couldn’t possibly be capable of taking care of her children, either way, it made your eye start to twitch the more you thought about it. 

You were grateful when Roy seemed to have finally had enough of hanging around after he had dutifully packed their bags into his old chevy and got a little snappy with his wife, who quickly scurried out of the door. He gave you a friendly squeezed of your shoulder, his giant hand engulfing your shoulder, before mentioning something to Gator in hushed tones that seemed to only upset the boy as his voice turned tense and cold and his back stiffened like it did earlier in the day. 

The house was quiet once the door shut, creepily quiet once the old Chevy had meandered it’s way out of the gates of the house and down the road of the ranch. You stood in the doorway of the kitchen, not quite sure what to do with yourself as you kept your eyes on your fiance. He’s watching out the windows next to the door, his back muscles still tense. You wondered if he would be upset with you if you asked what his father had said, if you asked if he was okay. You decide against it though. “Gator?” You ask, your voice soft, small and quiet. He hums in response, hands on his hips as he glances back at you. “Shouldn’t we go pick up the girls?” You noticed it was nearing time for school for your own sisters  to be out, and while Gator’s went to a private christian school you figured they probably had the same start and out times as your sisters’ school. “It’s almost three..” 

“Yeah..” He runs a hand down his face, clearing his throat. “Yeah, let’s get going.” 

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[dreamescapeswriting]

The Heart Wants What It Wants ~ BC

WORD COUNT: 2.3K

GENRE: established relationships, song au/song inspired, non-idol au, angsty, TOXIC relationship, no

happy ending,(no part two)

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

It didn't matter how many times people told you that someone was bad for you, if you were attracted to that person then no logic or reason was going to dissuade you, or anyone for that matter. It was something that happened inside of us that made us attracted to that person and you aren't going to change unless given no choice.

"All I'm saying is, when was the last time the two of you actually went out on a date?" Your best friend - JJ - asked as she sat across from you in the living room of your home that you shared with your boyfriend, though it didn't feel that way just lately. 

Just as you opened your mouth to tell her she shook her head, waving her finger at you to stop you from coming up with some excuse that she knew you had at the ready. You wanted to say that this was the first time the two of you had this conversation but it couldn't have been further from the truth and it seemed these "pep talks" were becoming more and more frequent as time went on.

"I don't mean when he comes by randomly for food or a quick shag before leaving." She told you bluntly making your mouth shut and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You knew it had been a long time since you and Chan had gone out on a date, or even had just gone out together but you knew he was a busy guy and you never wanted to push him into doing anything if he was too tired.

You and Chan had been in an on and off again relationship for almost two years, things were bad between you sure but when they were good they were brilliant. The good times always seemed to outdo the bad whenever you thought back on them and you knew you wanted Chan, you knew deep down in your heart and soul you did.

"He said he missed me," You told her, jumping straight into defence as she stared at you and waited for anything else. A way to show he missed you,

"Did he plan to come and see you? Did he tell you he'll be free soon and ask if you were free?" She questioned, arching a brow at you as you bit down on your lip,

"No, but he told me he can't wait to sleep next to me again."

"Sleep NEXT to you or sleep with you?" She exaggerated the words a little,

"What's the difference?"

"The difference is the first one he actually wants to see you and the second he's using you for your body. So, which was it?" You stared back at her before looking down at your empty cup and swallowing again.

"He said he missed me," You whispered, you didn't know if you were trying to convince yourself or her at this point and JJ sighed a little looking at you. As harsh as it might have seemed what she was doing she needed you to see the truth about everything. 

"What's the saying we live by now?" JJ challenged, flipping her hair over her shoulder and staring at you.

Tough love was JJ's act with you, she'd known you almost all of your life and she hated seeing you get pushed around like you were worth nothing when in fact, you were worth the world and if some man didn't see that then he wasn't worth it in the first place. The fact that you were letting Chan walk all over you tore her to pieces and all she wanted to do was shake some sense into you,

"If he wanted to he would," You grumbled the saying to her and she smirked, it was something she was trying to get into your head. Something she'd been trying to do for months now, treating you how Chan was supposed to since he never did,

"And has he?" She narrowed her eyes at you, you wanted to lie to her and tell her Chan had changed but you knew he hadn't, not by a long shot. 

"No, but-" You didn't even have anything to say back to her, did you? As much as Chan could tell you he missed you he never actively did anything to change that. It was as though all of the effort in the relationship was sucked out from his side and was only coming from you,

When the two of you first started to flirt with one another it was non-stop dates, he'd take you out multiple times a week but as soon as he got you all of that stopped. There were no more late-night drives or dates to the arcade, it was just the two of you were together and he no longer cared to make it look as though he cared.

"I don't want to hear some bullshit excuse about how he's a nonchalant dude or how he's busy. Yn, he treats you like fucking shit." You swallowed down the lies you were thinking of and shook your head. 

A part of you knew that she was right, that somehow you were supposed to realise how bad you were for one another and leave Chan in the past but it was hard when he'd become a part of you.

"Where is he this weekend? Another work trip?" Chan worked ungodly hours at the office and even more ungodly hours when his business decided he needed a work trip.

"No, he erm..." You stopped yourself, getting up and busying yourself by going to make another drink. You knew as soon as you told this information to JJ it was going to be the final nail in the coffin for Chan and she'd demand you to leave him,

"He what?" She urged, following after you and watching as you made you both some warm tea. You flicked on the kettle hoping the sound of the boiling water would drown out your voice but JJ inched closer to you, so close you thought she might have been able to hear you sweating.

"He had the weekend off so he went to go and see Felix." The air went silent, nothing but the sound of boiling water and the flick of the switch on the kettle could be heard as she stared at you.

"So, he misses you so much that the first weekend he has OFF work, he goes and sees his friends?" You stared down at the kitchen counter, tears threatening to spill as you sniffled a little.

"Babe-"

"I know! Okay?! I know but-" You couldn't even finish before the sob broke out and you began to cry into your hands, whimpering as your knees gave out and you slowly sank down onto the floor.

"I love him," You choked out as JJ held you in her arms, smoothing her hand over your lower back as you continued to sob into her chest. 

There were a million reasons for you to give Chan up but you couldn't help what your heart wanted, no matter how much it hurt to think about he was everything to you. 

"I'm home!" A familiar voice sounded from down the stairs and you stared at JJ who was staring back at you with a pained expression on her face. The whole weekend you'd been planning on walking away from Chan and everything that this life had created for you, all of the pain but two words from him and you were ready to jump back into his arms.

"He's not right for you."

"I know..." You whispered to her, she might have been right but you didn't care. Chan was everything you'd ever known and it was going to be hard to just walk away from it all.

"Babe, I had the best time. Felix was-" Chan's voice trailed to a stop as he made it to the bedroom to see all of your things were packed up into boxes and bags waiting for you to take.

"You going on a girl's trip?" He laughed nervously and JJ gave you a kiss on the cheek,

"I'll wait in the car for you," She whispered before leaving without saying goodbye to Chan, looking back at you and giving you a small smile of encouragement hoping you'll be strong enough to do this all on your own.

"Not a girl's trip," He whispered as he looked at you,

"I'm leaving you," You bit out, doing your best to remember why you were doing this. That things were going to get better once you were out of the shitty situation and somewhere better,

"What?"

"We're not good for each other," You swallowed the lump in your throat but your mouth was so dry it felt as though you were swallowing sandpaper.

"You're not thinking straight, JJ got into your head baby." He reached out for your hand but you moved away from him and shook your head.

"Don't try that shit, it won't work." You spat out harshly and started to move some of the bags out onto the landing so you wouldn't have to stay still for too long.

"I love you Yn, please don't do this." He begged, tears building inside of his eyes as he watched you,

"Chan, I love you too but we're not meant to be together."

"How can you say that?" His voice cracked a little as you shook your head. You had to remember that while he was upset now you were upset every single second he wasn't around you.

"Because it's true. God, we have the best times and then you're just suddenly fucking gone and it's like someone whacked the air out of my lungs." You whimpered at him, tears running down your cheeks in silence as you stared at him,

"I can't depend my happiness on you because I find myself just staying there until you come back. I was not alive until you decided I'm suddenly worthy of your time again." You waited for him to say something to defend you, that he was going to take time off and whisk you away but he never would. 

"You know I'm busy." The excuse that always came after he never spent time with you. As if someone could be busy 24 hours a day and seven days a week, not even checking his phone to let you know he was okay or giving you a quick heads up that he wouldn't talk because he couldn't.

"I know but then you tell me you miss me and disappear all fucking weekend to someone else." You referenced the weekend away he took and he scoffed at you, something on his face changing as he stared back at you. It was anger, something you rarely saw on your boyfriend's face.

"So I can't spend time with friends?"

"I never said that." You mumbled moving your bags down the stairs, coming back up for more of them. The more he talked the more you began to realise he was only going to double down on his own view of things and no one was going to win in this.

This wasn't some fairytale where he was going to realise the consequences of his actions and come in with a happy ending, changing everything just so he could win you over. This was real life and real life didn't end with happily ever after.

"I can't imagine a life without you Yn." He called out as you began to take the bags out of the door, handing them to JJ who was smiling proudly of you. Part of her had expected you to go back inside and forgive Chan but she could see it on your face everything was changing now.

"I can't either Chan but the moments were shared together just make me break down." You turned around to look at him, there were no tears on his face - no fresh ones at least so you took the keys from your pocket and handed them to him.

"Yn...Please,

"Don't make this harder than it needs to be Chan," You whispered, placing a final kiss on his cheek before moving to go and get into JJ's car wanting her to get away from here as quickly as possible.

~Three Months later~

"I'm telling you, you're going to love it," Your date - Victor - said as he held the door open for you, smiling at you as you smiled back at him. It was your first date in months and it was safe to say that you were more than a little nervous,

"You say that, but I've never been into sci-fi movies," You laughed a little as he shook his head and went to the snack counter buying you something of everything so that the two of you had something you would both enjoy.

"Yn?" The voice you'd dreaded hearing for three months sounded and you glanced over your shoulder to see Chan looking better than ever. Your mouth ran dry as you stared back at him,

"Victor this is Chan, Chan this is Victor, my date." You tried to drop it in that you were moving on, you'd already heard that Chan had been on dates so you figured it was time for you to try to.

"This is Nella, my date," Chan said as a woman stepped out from the bathrooms behind him and made her way over to you. She was stunning, dressed in a tight black dress looking like she'd rather be at a restaurant than a movie theatre.

"Good luck getting her to sit through the movie, she always hated sci-fi's whenever we watched them together," You looked at Victor who smiled down at you, shaking his head as he rearranged all his plans for the night.

"Then we'll pick another movie, your choice." He told you, taking you and leading you away from Chan.

"But you planned this,"

"It's whatever we both want, not just what I want, okay babe?" You nodded at him and you could feel your cheeks burning as you went to see what else was playing in the cinema leaving a very moody-looking Chan staring off after you but for the first time in forever you didn't care.