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noona-clock · 4 years ago

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What’s Your Sign?: Sagittarius

Genre: Celebrity!AU

Pairing: Choi Minho x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Words: 5,534

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜

Ever since you’d seen him in his first ever role on a television series about five years ago, you’d fallen in love with Minho.

Choi Minho, probably the most attractive man you’d ever seen. Through a screen, at least. You hadn’t yet been lucky enough to see him in person.

And since you’d fallen in love with him after watching his very first episode of that television series, you’d done nothing but support him for the last several years.

You saw every one of his movies the day it released in theatres. You watched every single episode of every single television show he appeared in -- even if he was just a guest star.

His popularity from his first role had soared pretty quickly, which was really a win/win scenario. Minho, who presumably had been a struggling actor previously, was now flush with offers from directors. And you, an immediate superfan, got to spend a lot of virtual time with your new favorite actor -- because, not only did he act in a very large handful of projects every year, he was also interviewed on talk shows, featured in magazines, walking the red carpet of premieres and award shows. He didn’t have a social media presence for some extremely odd reason, but you still felt like you knew him.

From everything you’d seen and read about him, Minho was outgoing, friendly, and charismatic. He was confident, straight-forward, and optimistic. He basically always had some version of a smile on his lips, and based on many posts in the Choi Minho subreddit, he never turned down an opportunity to meet a fan out in public.

He... was basically perfect.

And you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about one day meeting him, falling in love, getting married, and having about ten children together in the most beautiful house in the universe.

But, to be fair, your daydream wasn’t entirely impossible!

You were a bit of a celebrity, yourself!

Kind of.

On the Internet.

You had started a YouTube Channel six years ago, and at first, you hadn’t really had a clear vision for your videos. An absolutely rookie mistake, of course, but there’s nothing you could do about it now.

You’d started off with makeup tutorials because that had been the hottest YouTube trend at the time. But... you quickly discovered you weren’t as good at makeup as one should be to post a tutorial online in good conscience. You also weren’t quite good enough at doing your nails, cooking, or sewing to do videos about those.

For at least a few months, you’d been stumped. You knew you wanted your own YouTube channel -- you had a pretty fitting personality for it -- you just didn’t have any one marketable skill.

Until, one day, you stumbled upon a video of a guy watching a K-Pop music video for the first time and reacting to it. That was literally it. The whole video had been just him watching and talking about it.

And you were very good at that. You loved watching things on a screen -- YouTube videos, television shows, movies, you name it! And you always had thoughts running through your head while you watched something. In fact, you frequently wished one of your friends had exactly the same taste in music, shows, and movies as you so you could voice those thoughts aloud to someone who actually wanted to listen.

So, how had you never thought of doing that on your YouTube channel?! There was obviously a market for it -- the guy you’d watched had a few hundred thousand subscribers, and since it was something you genuinely enjoyed doing, you weren’t afraid of running out of content inspiration or motivation any time soon.

It was literally the perfect idea.

The next day, you had set up your camera, pulled up the first episode of your favorite television show of all time, and got to work. When you posted the video a few hours later (Re-watching my FAVORITE show of all time), something about it just felt right. Like the stars had aligned. No matter if you got five views or five thousand, you knew you were on the right path -- when it came to YouTube, at least.

Every day after that, you chose something else to watch -- a nostalgic movie, a viral YouTube video, the really cheesy musical episode of a television show. You tried to pick things from all along the spectrum, and you also tried to wait a few days in-between continuing on with your re-watch of your favorite show, simply for variety’s sake.

Little by little, your channel began to grow. After work, you would film, edit, and post -- every single day. On the weekends, you would film two different videos in case you ever needed to take a day off. Or in case you just felt like posting two videos!

Your first sponsorship offer email had come about six months after you’d posted your first video, and your eyes had nearly fell out of your head when you’d seen how much they’d offered you. (Looking back, your first paying YouTube gig really hadn’t been that much money -- compared to what you could make now, at least -- but it had still been incredibly thrilling.) And, really, that had been the catalyst of your YouTube career and popularity. It seemed just the one sponsorship had been all you’d needed to catch the attention of other brands who wanted to work with you, and when you got to the point where you could actually afford to quit your job and turn down sponsorship offers you weren’t wild about? That’s when you knew you’d made it.

Okay, but really, you knew you’d made it when one of your videos hit one million views for the first time (a video of you watching a particularly cringe-worthy teen movie from about ten years ago).

And now, six years later, you had almost four million subscribers, and your most viewed video had almost twenty million views. Sometimes, you still couldn’t believe it!

The highlight of your time on YouTube so far -- at least, in your eyes -- had been when you’d seen Choi Minho for the first time about a year after starting your channel. You’d still had less then one-hundred thousand subscribers back then, so if anyone ever left on a comment on a video mentioning how long you’d been a Minho fangirl or remembering when you first discovered him, you knew they were an OG subscriber. But ever since that video, you did absolutely nothing to hide your affinity for him, both as an actor and as a person. You watched and reacted to every single one of his movies and every single television show episode -- you even sometimes reacted to interviews or videos other fans had made about him.

Even when your channel hit some pretty big milestones -- five-hundred thousand subscribers, one million, two million, three million subscribers -- you never played it cool when it came to Choi Minho. You switched up your content and your editing style here and there, but one constant on your YouTube channel was the fact you let your inner fangirl shine for all the world to see.

In fact, just last month, the trailer for his new movie dropped, and you were able to upload your reaction to it within two hours. Since then, you’d read and watched every interview you could find, favorited every tweet about the upcoming film, and liked every post on the #ChoiMinho hashtag on Instagram. Since he had no social media, you had to be satisfied with other people’s content rather than his own.

You were scrolling through his hashtag on Instagram right now, actually, as you procrastinated getting out of bed to go set up for another day of filming.

Now that you had almost four million subscribers and were approached by more than several companies for sponsorships every single day, you were able to focus on your channel full-time. You definitely got cabin fever from time to time, but it was worlds better than filming after work and on weekends. Now, you could actually take a day off whenever you wanted! It was glorious!

But you still procrastinated working. You were still human, after all.

After you caught up on his hashtag and liked just about every picture you could, you navigated to your inbox to look through your DMs. Over the years, it had gotten pretty easy to skip past the spam and sugar daddy requests (which were plentiful, unfortunately), so you no longer dreaded checking the unread messages. You could usually tell which ones to delete straight away from the profile picture and first few words alone.

To be quite honest, you really only opened ones where you either could tell someone was genuinely reaching out to say hi or thank you for posting your videos or... messages with Minho’s name visible in the preview. Shameless, but oh well!

After deleting a few messages at the top which were clearly spam, the next one you came to was actually one of those messages -- you saw ‘Minho’ in the preview. It was the very first word, even! And in all caps.

You pressed on it as quickly as you could.

And when your eyes took in the rest of the message... your heart stopped.

MINHO WATCHED ONE OF YOUR VIDEOS!

...This had to be a prank, right?

But right after the message in all capital letters was a link to a YouTube video, and the preview for the video was right below the message.

It was one of those videos put out by a big fashion magazine where celebrities watch videos about them and react to it. Usually, musicians and singers would react to covers of their songs by fans, but every once in a while, actors would read tweets or watch fanmade videos about them.

And when you clicked on the link this person had sent, the video opened in your YouTube app to show the title “Choi Minho Watches Fan Videos on YouTube,” and your eyes widened.

If what the Instagram message said was true... Minho had watched not only a fan video... but your fan video. And since his movie was premiering in just a couple of days, he had most likely watched your reaction to the trailer.

Oh my god.

Since the video had started automatically after clicking the link, you took a deep breath and concentrated all of your focus on your phone screen. You were not going to miss the part where he watched your video.

But, of course, after not even thirty seconds, you found you had already gotten distracted by how handsome he looked.

You quickly shook your head a bit, widening your eyes briefly before narrowing them to focus on your screen again. “Come on, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself. “You can watch it again right after this to admire him.”

It was only a fifteen-minute video, so it’s not like you had to wait forever to get to the part where he watched you!

Still, though, as the minutes ticked by, you felt your heart begin to race in anticipation.

What would he say about you? Would he find your obsession with him creepy? I mean, it had to be a little creepy watching someone squeal and profess their love for you -- someone you’d never met!

But, then... when you got really mushy comments... most of the time, it didn’t feel creepy. It just felt sweet, and you were incredibly grateful that a lot of your subscribers and viewers were so supportive.

Ugh! You were getting off track again!

You shook your head once more and set your gaze back onto your phone screen.

Finally, when the clip of Minho watching a fanmade music video transitioned into the clip of him watching your video, your breath caught in your throat.

Were you going to survive this?

Outcome is unclear.

“Oh, yeah, I know her,” Minho said as your trailer reaction video began to play in the corner. “She’s the reaction girl, right?”

Your jaw dropped.

................Excuse me?!

Minho knew you?!

As you watched Minho watching you with the most adorable soft grin on his lips, your hand slowly crept up to cover your mouth in shock.

And, then, when you in the video paused the trailer to bring up another one of his movies that this trailer had reminded you of, his grin widened and he looked very pleased. “She knows her stuff, huh?”

You heard someone behind the camera murmuring something, and subtitles appeared on the screen. “She’s a known superfan, actually.”

Minho’s brow furrowed and he leaned toward the camera. “She’s what?”

“A superfan,” the person repeated, a little bit louder. “She’s known to her viewers for watching all of your movies and shows. There are always comments about you on all of her videos.”

Minho’s eyes widened a little in surprise. “Really? All of them? Comments about me?” He leaned back and nodded slowly after, apparently, receiving a positive answer. “I had no idea. I’ve just seen her videos about, like, the cheesy teen movies we watched as kids.”

You truly almost dropped your phone.

So... he knew who you were, but he hadn’t known that you fangirled over him on a regular basis?

First of all, how was that possible?

Second of all, did it really matter?! He knew who you were!

He knew who you were!

You didn’t expect that he regularly watched your videos, but still.

HE KNEW WHO YOU WERE!

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest as you watched him finish up watching your reaction video. The look on his face was one of delight, and even though you knew he was a good actor, it sure didn’t seem like he was simply pretending not to be creeped out.

“She’s so fun,” he smiled as your video ended, his gaze shifting back to the person he had spoken with earlier. “She has more? Like, for my movies?”

The person mumbled something back, and this time, there were no subtitles on the bottom of the video. But Minho’s eyebrows shot up immediately.

“All of my movies?” he asked. And then he let out a joyous chuckle and added, “No way.”

He quickly turned to the computer and clicked on your channel name.

But the video transitioned into another clip of someone else’s video, so you didn’t get to see if he actually watched any other ones.

Even if he hadn’t, you were still overjoyed -- to say the least -- that he had watched just one!

He knew who you were! He had actually known who you were before this which was probably the most surprising thing you’d ever heard in your entire life. (Besides the fact that Minho was currently single. That was definitely more surprising than anything.)

After sitting in your bed for a few minutes, staring blankly at your screen as the video finished up, your gaze unfocused and blurry, you finally came to when you realized the video had ended.

And then you proceeded to freak out.

You squealed and shrieked and kicked your legs and rolled around and scrambled to your feet to jump up and down on your bed with glee.

Was this the best day of your life?

Quite possibly!

Once you’d calmed down just a tad, you plopped back into a sitting position, crossing your legs into a pretzel as you navigated back to Instagram.

You sent a reply to the person who’d sent you the video (”OH MY GOD THANK YOU HE KNOWS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”) and then refreshed your inbox.

As expected, a whole new slew of messages came through and literally every single one seemed to be about the video.

Your lips split into a huge grin, and just before you clicked on a random one to read and reply to it... you noticed that one message had a blue check by the sender.

Pausing, you shifted your gaze to that message.

And your heart jumped up into your throat when you recognized the name of the account.

Obviously, it wasn’t Minho himself because he didn’t have one.

But it was the next best thing.

His management company.

You followed them, of course, and liked every single picture about him or with him. Of course!

But you had never gathered up the courage to message them. You’d had no reason to! What would you have said?

And now they were messaging you.

The several days following the video of Minho watching your video had been... a blur. To say the least.

You still weren’t even really sure how you’d gotten here.

I mean, you knew you were here because Minho’s management company had direct messaged you on Instagram inviting you to the premiere of his movie and you had accepted without one millisecond of hesitation and then you’d gotten on a plane a couple of days later and then checked into a super nice hotel and had a stylist and makeup artist sent to your room and after many hours you now looked better than you ever had in your entire life.

That’s how you got here.

But you still weren’t even really sure how you’d gotten here.

A rather large stroke of luck?

Good karma?

Hard work to grow your YouTube channel into something that would make you more easily recognizable by actual celebrities and their management companies?

Or a combination of the three?

Either way, you were overwhelmed with gratitude, and you knew you would never be able to forget this experience -- even if you, for some odd reason, wanted to.

I mean, you were currently in a really nice car, and the driver (yes, you had a driver!) was taking you to the red carpet.

The red carpet!

An actual movie premiere! With an actual red carpet!

And the movie was Minho’s movie.

You were at the premiere of Minho’s movie.

Oh my god, what if you saw him?!

As the car rolled to a stop in front of a crowded theatre, your heart and stomach dropped down to your very expensive and gorgeous shoes.

You’d gone to somewhat fancy events before -- it came with the job of being a YouTuber -- but never anything like this. Never an actual movie premiere. Never the chance of seeing your favorite actor in the history of time. And, obviously, never walking a red carpet.

Your door magically opened just as the car stopped moving, and a hand popped out of nowhere to assist you in exiting the vehicle. As gracefully as you could, you slipped your fingers into the mysterious palm, allowing it to gently pull you up and out of your seat and onto the sidewalk.

Almost immediately, camera clicks, light bulb flashes, and inquiring voices filled the air.

Cameras and lights in your face, you were used to. It was your everyday life, in fact!

But... all these people? Looking at you? Watching you? Taking pictures of you?

I mean, yeah, a few million people watched your videos. But it was absolutely not the same as a hundred or so reporters and photographers standing right in front of you.

Thankfully, some short but very powerful woman guided you onto the red carpet, muttering to you that all you had to do was stand in front of the backdrop, pose and smile for the cameras, and then move on to the next mark. Some reporters from news and entertainment channels would be waiting along the way to interview you (which didn’t scare you quite so much as you’d been interviewed a few times before), and all in all, it would take about an hour.

But it took you way less than an hour to discover that walking a red carpet is not as glamorous as it looks on television.

Walking like your shoes were covered in almost-frozen molasses so every photo taken was a good one. Switching back and forth between facial expressions so every photo taken wasn’t the same one. And do you know how many good places there are to put your hands when posing for a picture? Exactly two. One was on your hip and the other at your side. That was it. Definitely not clasped in front of or behind you, and definitely not tucking your hair behind your ear.

And just when you were sort of getting used to the constant posing for pictures, another short but powerful woman gently grabbed your arms and led you to a reporter from the most-watched entertainment news channel in the country.

“Hello, hello!” the perky reporter chirped as you approached her. “Come on over here!”

“Hi,” you greeted awkwardly as you made your way to the small mark on the ground next to her, holding up your skirt with one hand so you wouldn’t trip.

“Y/N! Good evening, good evening, how are you doing?” she asked before sticking the microphone in your face.

You had to quickly get over the shock of her knowing your name since you didn’t want to look like a fool on live television, so you forced a grin on your lips and answered, “I’m pretty overwhelmed, actually!” you chuckled.

“Is this your first time at a red carpet?”

“It is, yes,” you confirmed with a slight nod. “And I’m so used to being alone in my house, talking to myself in front of a camera, so this is all new territory for me.”

The reporter laughed with delight before asking which designer you were wearing. You answered her with ease since your stylist had drilled it into your brain before you’d left the hotel.

Then, after she asked you to tell the folks at home what you’re known for, she said, “It’s a pretty fun story of how you got here, isn’t it?”

“Oh, it is,” you answered, your lips pulling into a shy but excited grin. “I woke up one morning to a message on Instagram, and someone had sent me --”

The reporter interrupted you then, and you noticed her gaze was directed over your shoulder. You turned to look, and --

Well, the next few moments happened so quickly, you really had no idea how you reacted.

“Y/N!” Minho called out, smiling widely and waving before reaching out and sliding his hands over your shoulders. He stood next to you, squeezing you once before letting his arms drop down to his side. “I’m so sorry for interrupting --”

“No, we were just talking about why she’s here at your premiere!”

Minho’s smile brightened even more, and he continued on with the story you’d been telling.

Meanwhile, you were standing there. Mute. Staring at him.

Because oh my god.

How was it actually possible that Minho was more handsome in real life?

But also, how was it actually possible that Minho was standing next to you in real life?

But also also, how was it actually possible that Minho was real?

That’s the real question, isn’t it?

You came to when you heard him say, “Yes, this is our first time meeting,” before turning to you and holding out his hand for a handshake. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

You took his hand, shaking it weakly, and said the first thing that came to your mind: “Oh my god, hi.”

The reporter giggled, but Minho, instead of acting embarrassed for you, simply let go of your hand and moved to pull you into a hug.

Holy cannoli, Minho was hugging you.

Choi Minho. Was hugging. You.

Hugging!

You!

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” he repeated with a grin after pulling away, though he was still incredibly close to you and gazing at you with those sparkling, dreamy eyes of his.

“You, too,” you managed to reply shakily.

The reporter then went on to interview Minho, asking him who had designed his suit, what his character in this new movie was like, and if he was working on any new projects.

“I’m in the early stages of something, yes,” he answered. “I don’t think I can say too much more, but in the meantime, I think I’d really like to film some videos with Y/N, branch out onto social media.”

Your heart stopped, and you knew your facial expression was doing nothing to hide your surprise.

Minho then turned to you with an adorably guilty look on his face. “I mean, if it’s alright with you, of course.”

“Yes, absolutely!” you burst out immediately, and the reporter giggled once again.

“Well, there you have it, guys,” she said after turning to face the camera. “You heard it here first -- a brand new collaboration in the works, so keep an eye out.”

She turned to you then and asked you to remind the viewers of the name of your YouTube channel. You leaned into the microphone and silently praised the lord you were able to remember it.

“Thanks so much, you two,” the reporter said with a very peppy grin. “Have a wonderful evening!”

“You, as well,” Minho answered before putting a hand in-between your shoulder blades and guiding you back to the red carpet.

Wait, he was guiding you back to the red carpet? He wasn’t... leaving?

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured in your ear, his breath causing the most delicious tingle down your spine. “I swear I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just wanted to meet you --”

“No,” you shook your head slightly. “It’s -- it’s totally fine. It wasn’t rude at all. I’m -- I just -- I’m a little overwhelmed. In a good way!”

“Totally understand. I remember my first movie premiere like it was yesterday, I know exactly how you’re feeling.”

You simply let out a nervous chuckle, but then Minho did something to make you even more nervous (which you hadn’t even been sure was possible).

He bent his arm and held out the crook of his elbow toward you.

“Shall we?”

Okay, you were now convinced this was a dream. This was all a wonderful, perfect, heavenly dream.

There was just no way that any of this could happen in real life! Being invited to Minho’s movie premiere was one thing, but him interrupting your interview on the red carpet and mentioning he wanted to film a YouTube video with you? Him offering to actually walk the red carpet with you on his arm?!

Nope. Definitely not real.

So, since this was absolutely a dream, you figured you’d just go with it!

“We shall,” you replied as a soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

You slid your hand into the crook of Minho’s elbow, and the two of you slowly made your way down the red carpet. Together.

It didn’t take long for you to be awed by his professionalism. When the cameras began to flash, he posed like a natural. It seemed so easy for him, but you figured it probably was easy after going through this so many times.

He murmured helpful hints and reassuring words to you as you struggled through, and he even insisted on doing his interviews with you by his side.

(Of course, before the two of you approached each reporter, he asked you quietly if you would rather have the spotlight all to yourself. He didn’t want to usurp your first experience on the red carpet and would gladly step away so you could finish the process on your own. You declined every single time.)

When you finally reached the entrance to the theatre about an hour later, you figured Minho would say it had been nice to meet you and be on his way.

But you should’ve remembered that this was a dream!

“Do you want to come inside? We can sit together during the movie if you want. I mean, you’re pretty much my unofficial date already, but you can absolutely say ‘no’ if you don’t --”

“I would love to,” you interrupted, your voice more sure and firm than it had been all evening.

But hearing your favorite actor and biggest crush of all time declare that you were his date for the night would do that to you. Plus, Minho literally exuded confidence and warmth -- you’d always thought so while watching him on a screen, and it was both relieving and exciting to learn he was exactly the same in real life.

Minho smiled at you and then led you into the theatre, your heart now basically in a constant state of flips and somersaults.

Once the two of you took your seats in front of the screen, Minho turned slightly toward you.

“I have to admit, I’ve been watching your videos a lot since I filmed the reaction for the magazine,” he said with the most attractive half-smile you’d ever seen in your life. “Seriously, thank you so much for being so supportive.”

“Oh my god, no, thank you,” you replied breathlessly. “I can’t believe you watched my videos.”

“They’re kind of addicting,” he chuckled. “I don’t know what it is, but I definitely understand why you have so many subscribers. I actually created my own YouTube account just so I could subscribe to you.”

Your eyes widened, and your heart actually stopped somersaulting because it stopped beating altogether.

“Are you serious?” you asked.

“You’re so entertaining! It feels like watching those movies and shows with a friend. And I like how you’re really honest but still nice about it. You don’t seem to have a cruel bone in your body.”

“Uh, no, I think you’re getting me mixed up with yourself,” you replied with a somewhat awkward laugh.

Minho simply grinned at you, and the somersaults started back up inside your chest.

“I was serious about wanting to film with you, though,” he said, eyebrows raised earnestly. “I would love to collab --”

“Yes, absolutely,” you reassured him as fervently as you could. “Literally whenever. Please. Yes.”

“Okay, good,” Minho chuckled before reaching into his pocket and sliding out his phone. “Here, give me your number so I can let you know when I’m free next.”

You hesitated before accepting his phone because...

What?!

Minho was giving you his phone. His actual phone. So you could put in your number? Your number?

This night just kept getting more and more unbelievable.

But you were never in a million years going to pass up the opportunity to give Choi Minho your phone number, so you took his phone and quickly added yourself as a contact.

“Perfect,” Minho murmured, almost to himself, when you handed his phone back to him. He looked at the screen for a few moments, and you noticed a soft grin pulling at his lips. And then he shifted his gaze over to you and said, “I can’t wait.”

And... as your eyes locked on his...

You had a moment.

A moment.

One of those moments you will never, ever forget as long as you lived.

One of those moments where your future basically flashed before your eyes.

Minho arriving at your house to film a video with you, a friendship forming, late night texts and phone conversations, going out to restaurants whenever he was in town... a more than friendship forming.

And you truly could’ve sworn this was not just your heart wishing, but... you honestly felt like you were going to marry this man.

“I can’t either,” you replied softly just before the lights went down.

The first thing you did when you got home was set up your camera and film a video relaying everything about your experience at Minho’s movie premiere.

Of course, you didn’t mention The Moment -- y’know, the moment you had when you realized you were most probably going to marry him? And you could just feel that it wasn’t wishful thinking? You figured it was probably best to keep that to yourself for now.

But everything else you shared with your subscribers, and you did nothing to hide how wonderful and magical it had all been -- and it had really been Minho which had made it so perfect.

“And you guys, he is truly exactly the same in person as he seems in, like, interviews and stuff. He’s so nice and so friendly and so warm and so gracious and --”

But you were interrupted by a text message.

Most of the time, you left your phone on silent as you filmed, but you’d been too excited to get all of your thoughts out that you’d forgotten to switch the sound off before turning the camera on.

“Whoops,” you murmured as you reached for your phone on your desk in front of you.

Instead of simply turning your phone on silent, though, the actual text message you’d received caught your eye and was too intriguing to ignore.

It was from a number you didn’t have saved, but your instinct to read the first few words of a message from an unknown sender took over... and you were incredibly glad it did.

Because the message was:

Hey, it’s Minho 😁 Are you free next week?

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, PISCES

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sunqyu · 4 years ago

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~ Treasure realizing they love you and the first time they say it pt 1.

Request 1: “ hmm im all in cute feelings, so FIRST I LOVE YOUS with treasure reaction thingy, would be super sweet 🙊💗🌼🌼 “ - anon

Request 2: “ i love your writing! treasure realizing theyre in love with their s/o🥺 “ - anon

These requests are both so adorable and fitting so I decided to combine them. Hope you enjoooy. Also, buckle up ‘cause ITS A LONG ONE AGAIN. Got carried away as usual so it’ll be in two parts. K BYE <3 - Nova

Hyunsuk

realizing it

it doesn’t take much to make Hyunsuk like you

but to actually fall in love with you

that’s a different story

he’s alone at the studio, trying to get his verse right

every time he fixes something he didn’t like, he notices something else

he’s sat at his desk, elbows next to the keyboard

head hanging down with his fingers tangled in his hair

a sharp inhale

a shaky exhale

then his phone lights up, a message from you, asking if he’s home yet and how his day went

2.30am, he reads

he starts typing, frantically, on and on as the chaos in his head makes it’s way onto his phonescreen

only for him to stop and delete it all because he knows what he really wants to send you

but it’s too late and he doesn’t want to be a burden, you need your sleep too

when he looks up and sees his own reflection in the, now dimly lit, screen of his computer

another sharp inhale

‘Not so great to be honest, can I come to your place?’ sent.

on the way to your house he’s still thinking about turning back

but all those thoughts are long gone the moment you open the door

your eyes beaming at him, messy bun wiggling side to side and you’re wrapped up in a blanket

his heart melts as he feels the tightness in his temples and neck from the stress subside

‘Hi- I missed you.’

you probably didn’t notice but he almost said something else

he snickers to himself, that would’ve been a bit early

saying it

definitely the type to say it without realizing what he’s saying

you two are getting groceries

which, even though it’s not a special thing, is always so much fun

this time you ended up playing hide and seek

it wasn’t really discussed, you just lost Hyunsuk at one point and decided to turn it into a game instead of calling him

which means it’s your turn now

it had been over 20 minutes and he was getting worried

very impressed with your skills

but worried

in the end he decided to call you

to his surprise he hears your ringtone behind him

he turns around

the ringtone is still behind him

he turns around

what the-

he turns around but really fast this time

his eyes meet yours a second before you start dying from laughter

‘How long where you doing that for-?’ he laughed in self-pity and disbelieve

when he finds out you never left he sighs

‘Ugh- I love you.’ he mutters inbetween chuckling

for a second he freezes, a thousand things running through his mind

but y’know what? fuck it.

‘Yea- it’s true. I love you.’

Jihoon

realizing it

also seems like someone who does not fall in love quickly

mostly because he’s not looking for it, he doesn’t feel the need to be in love to be happy

but once he does

oh boy

so when you came in his life he wasn’t thinking about a potential relationship

or wondering if you two would be compatible

he simply enjoyed your presence and you two got closer as friends

because of this the moment he realizes he has feelings for you will be overwhelming for him

wasn’t ready

you weren’t even doing anything different than usual

just eating in the yg cafetaria, both rambling about things

subjects that made people walking by look up because they didn’t get the full story

out of nowhere he fell hard

the mechanism that’s supposed to be his brain malfunctioning

croissant in mid-air

it all just made sense

the reason why he could never be sad around you

the reason that made your eyes twinkle more than anyone elses

the reason you saying his name sounds different than when anyone else says it

the reason he’s now sitting with his mouth wide open staring at you without really looking at you

‘Y-yea, I was listening. Ofcourse I was.’

saying it

probably says it on a special occasion

not planned or anything

it just seemed fitting in that moment

he realized before you two were even dating so it’s not like there’s any doubt left

still, expressing it feels like a very big step

it was quite a warm autumn evening

you were sitting on the floor at the salon table

filled with food from different places

‘I’m so proud of us.’ he beamed

you had just finished a very important essay which is going to be a great advantage when looking for an internship

he had just ended filming their third music video

‘I wish I could show you, you’re gonna love it.’ he mumbled before grabbing another bite

it looked like a feast but takeout-style

you continue eating, enjoying each others company

all the windows were open because of the nice weather

a soft breeze would ruffle the curtains

the subtle sound mixing well with the music

Jihoon had looked for just the right playlist for almost half an hour

and it couldn’t have been more perfect

the warm light of the candles was accompanied by a desklight

you got it out of your room because the ceiling light wasn’t cozy but the candles weren’t enough to see each other’s face (or the food)

the topic slowly drifts to more nostalgic memories

dates to the beach, your weekend in Japan, meeting his friends

‘You know what’s funny? out of all of those memories the one that is most special to me was a really simple one.’ something in his expression changed and you sat calmly, waiting for him to continue

‘It was a few days before I asked you out on our first date. We were at yg, eating something.’ he grabbed another bite of food, chuckling at your impatient response

‘I don’t know what it was but out of nowhere I realized I was in love with you.’ the words came out while he looked at his plate, looking up only a second before he continued

‘I still do. I love you-, even more each day.’

Yoshi

realizing it

there’s not really a specific moment where it hit him

his love for you grew gradually

which is exactly how he liked it

from the moment he met you he was never nervous around you

he never felt like he wasn’t good enough or like he had to try harder

everything made sense from day one

there would be moments where is heart could burst from it

like the time you tried to fix his broken jeans with a youtube tutorial

or when you first fell asleep on his chest

the worst was when he couldn’t see you for a few days

as if the love in him grew and grew but he couldn’t give it to you

he just felt like he was going to explode sometimes

the other boys would notice very easily

‘I know it’s only a few days, you guys are right.’

his mind didn’t listen to his own words

‘I’m fine- I promise.’

but if it’s a few more hours he might not be

he would go to bed quite early these days

after he noticed that trying to distract himself wasn’t working

he’d scroll through photo’s you took together

and photo’s he took of you

he’d sent you another text, hoping your phone was off so he wouldn’t wake you up

a strange mix of happiness and sadness

luckily once he realizes his sadness is temporary and it only shows how special you are to him he’ll be able to focus on the happiness

thinking about all the memories you’ve made and will make in the future as he slowly drifts to sleep

saying it

finally

finally he was going to see you again

it was only like three days but boy was he DEPRIVED

he was the first done packing

the first in the car

the first to run into the dorm and put his bag away

aaaand the first to run out the door again

you two had been texting all day about movies to watch and all the stories he wanted to tell

his knee bumped up and down in the bus

he couldn’t remember the last time he was this hyped

only three more stops

he gazed out the window chuckling at himself

who would’ve thought someone could make him feel like this?

his hand clutched on to the souvenir he got you

two more stops

an old couple got in

yoshi always had a weakness for happy old couple

but now especially

he smiled politely at them

admiring how in love they looked

that would be you in the future, he thought to himself

one more stop

his smile was still on his face

recognizing restaurants you two went to

clothing stores where you complimented his style

and then

the bus stop

it’s the one where you two met

he still can’t believe he managed to strike up a conversation with you that day

but it must’ve been meant to be

he looked around frantically as soon as his foot hit the sidewalk

the sound of your shoes on the floor came closer

he turned to face the sound and before he could even see your face he was holding you in his arms again

tightly as if to tell the world you were his

a deep sigh left his mouth before he mumbled into your hair

‘I love you- I missed you so much. I’m so happy to see you.’

Junkyu

realizing it

‘stop being weird-’ ‘says who?’

you and Junkyu were laying on his bed

both with your limbs spread out, staring at the ceiling

you weren’t sure how long you’d been there

he hummed along to the song you just put on

before being interrupted by the sound of his own stomach

‘Oh wow- sounds like it’s time for lunch.’

you nodded in agreement as you grabbed your phone

he started thinking about what to get, watching you tap away on your phone

your hair was laying in a circle around your head

a shadow from the ceilinglight behind your phone over your eyes

he noticed how you pupils dilated as they adjusted to the light everytime your moved your phone a bit

your eyes are cool af, woah

he turned to his side, still looking at your features while you scrolled on your phone

the song changed and this time it was you humming along

your voice is so nice, he thought to himself

his dreamy moment was interrupted by you looking at him

oh right- food

‘Uh- I want uh-..’

to his surprise you tell him you already ordered

‘What- what about me?’

you listed the things you ordered for him, saying how you definitely knew what he wanted by now

he was shocked

if you aren’t the SWEETEST MOST THOUGHTFUL HUMAN BEING

then he wouldn’t know who is

his dreamy moment continued, even though you were staring right back this time, confused

he never felt like this before

like he wants to fast-forward and sit in a rocking chair with you, grumbling about youth

wait

fuck

this is love isn’t it?

saying it

he promised

he promised he wasn’t going to fall asleep during the movie

but look at him now

soft deep breathing, lips slightly parted as he was laying against you

even though you didn’t want to wake him up you had already seen this movie with friends and the remote was all the way on the table

you reached forward in slow motion

slowly

sloooooowly

Junkyu moved, rubbing his cheek against your shoulder before mumbling under his breath and laying still again

that was close

the journey continues

slooooooooooowly

you were only 10cm away from reaching the remote

‘N-no hh.. stay h- ple ase.’

a dilemma

lean forward a bit more or sit back and just let the man sleep?

bit more

sloooooooooooooooowly

your fingertips grazed the remote and it wobble side to side

‘Babe?-’ that definitely sounded more awake then earlier

but when you look at him you see he’s definitely not fully awake yet

‘Come back to beeed-’ he whined

bed? boy, we’re on the couch

you didn’t mention it and instead quickly grabbed the remote before you sat back down a little faster

‘Th-nk yo-’ he held you tighter

‘Love you-’

wait what?

Mashiho

realizing it

seems like a hopeless romantic to me

so might realize quite fast

this man has been fantasizing and imagining his future love life for so long

not to the point where he’s yanking flowers apart to find out if you love him or not

but he sees the beauty in so many things

enjoys the warmth of the sun on his skin

likes to watch people going about their day and thinking what their life is like

leaves sweet notes on receipts for hardworking employees to find when they come clean his table

little things but a lot of things

he has an eye for beauty and knows exactly how to use it for his own happiness

so he quickly noticed how happy you made him

it was again, the little things

but so so many

how your pinky finger was always a little higher than the rest when your hands were relaxed

how the cute baby hairs on the back of your neck would always leave your ponytail within minutes of putting your hair up

how your foot would bounce up and down when you sat with your legs crossed, even if there was no music

how every time you called him cute he had to keep himself from calling you cute because he knew you’d hide your face in your hands right after

the way you sat against the mirror when you came to watch him practice

sleeves of his sweater to long for your arms as you clapped after each song

loving you wasn’t something that happens at one point

it’s built within him since the moment you met

it just grows and grows as you take care of it with your cuteness and love

saying it

so much snow

everywhere

the snowflakes were most visible under the light of the streetlanterns

appearing and disappearing as they went back into the dark nightsky

the crisp sound from under your shoes was relaxing

you and Mashiho had a snowballfight after finishing about 20 snowangels each

it had gotten dark before you knew it so now you were walking home

his arm around your shoulder, rubbing softly to keep you warm

you felt the cold water through your gloves but sharing bodyheat was all you needed

both of you had soft smiles on your faces, walking in content silence

and you were also just EXHAUSTED so the quiet evening was a nice change

in some of the houses you walked by you could already see christmaslights and trees

he noticed you looking

‘Lets get our own decorations soon.’

you nodded happily, leaning against him a little more

this was going to be your first christmas together

you never expected to celebrate it with someone this year

the idea of setting up a tree together and the coziness it would bring made him feel warm inside

you discussed fun things you could do for christmas

ways to surprise the boys or what you wanted to eat

he listened to you talk about memories and future plans

when he noticed how clearly he was already involved in those future plans he couldn’t help himself

‘Hey-’ he gave your shoulder a squeeze to make you look at him

‘I love you, so so much-��

Jaehyuk

realising it

it was the first time you were going to meet the rest of Jaehyuk’s group

a little nervous but mostly excited you walked to the front door

he told you to text him when you got there so he could see you before the rest did

a few second after you saw he read your message the door opens

you get a kiss on the lips, a tight hug and a kiss on your forehead all after each other

he wanted to show you love but also wanted to mentally prepare you for what was about to him

don’t get him wrong, he loves the other members with all his heart but he could imagine them being a little.... overwhelming.

before he could even ask you if you were nervous the yells from the living room began

curious heads peeking out from behind his back, 11 hands reaching out to you as they all wanted to introduce themselves first

you could make out some teasing to Jae followed by someone’s voice trying to keep the peace

he looked at you with slight worry in his face, only to be greeted by a cheerful smile

before he knew it you were bashing out jokes left and right

even standing up for him a few times in the funniest ways

he couldn’t be happier

so many people he loved in one room

one in particular though

he took a moment to sit back against the couch and look around in awe

so happy

after a few hours and some good food it was time for you to go home

he watched you end your conversation with Asahi

who, to his surprise, seemed like he didn’t want the conversation to end

you waved goodbye to everyone and got loads of no’s and why’s in return

‘It’s late guys, she still has to go home.’

saying it

you still heard the whining when you and Jae reached the front door

you talked a few more minutes about how much you enjoyed yourself and the funny and awkward moments you two noticed

‘Apparently you don’t only make me happy but my friends too.’

you beamed at the compliment

even though you enjoyed the night as well, the validation that they did too meant a lot to you

‘So I’ve been approved?’ ‘Clearly.’

he insisted on walking you home

you discussed the evening even more

he explained more about their personalities and memories he has with them which now made so much sense to you

your fingers were intertwined, arms swinging back and forth playfully

for some reason he felt a lump in his throat

but he couldn’t quite figure out why

it even distracted him from your conversation a few times

which is very unlike him so you noticed quickly

when you stopped walking to ask him what was wrong

looking him in the eye to show you you were not taking nothing for an answer

the determined look in your eyes made him realize what it was

what he had been holding back

but he didn’t say it

not yet

after a few minutes you reached your frontdoor

‘Thank you for the great evening, I’m sure they’ll want you back as soon as possible.’

he leaned in for a goodnight’s kiss, holding you close a little tighter than usual

for a second he pulled back

‘I love you-’

before connecting your lips again

#this took me forever but I'm pretty happy with it #hope you all enjoy!#treasure #treasure reaction #treasure scenario #yg #ygtb #hyunsuk #jihoon #yoshi #junkyu #mashiho #jaehyuk #kpop

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breakfast-cereal · 4 years ago

Text

Stupid For You (2) -Johnlock

← ← MAIN MASTERLIST

← PART ONE

PART THREE

!¡Trigger Warning¡! DO NOT IGNORE!: mentions to drugs and addiction, alcohol use, vomiting, hints to declining/poor mental health.

Rosie's hair was in a slightly dishevelled braid that reached just above her shoulder blades

"Youtube seems to be helpful for tutorials. Slightly inaccurate, though." Sherlock looked as if he was about to write down notes.

"It's YouTube, Sherlock." John looked at Rosie who had a massive grin on her face

Rosie rushed to Sherlock and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, daddy!"

Sherlock didn't seem to protest and accepted the role of a father figure to Rosie. John was confused by this. If Sherlock was a father figure to Rosie wouldn't that insinuate that he and John were together? Does that not bother Sherlock?

"No problem." Sherlock ushered Rosie back to her room and then sat back down to work on the case.

John sat on the couch, sneaking glances at Sherlock while watching some sports game on the telly. He reached for his phone on the table and scrolled through it while watching the telly and concentrating on Sherlock. John was hoping this would have some distraction from his headache. The light from his phone just seemed to make the headache worse. John had opened google and was staring down at it. His headache was horrible and those confusing feelings had returned to plague his thoughts. Without thinking, John entered "John Watson and Sherlock Holmes" into the search bar and entered it. He looked around anxiously as if someone was going to pop out of any corner and catch him looking at this. The worst would be Sherlock. Results popped up raging from "Johnlock" blogs to articles describing their relationship. John clicked on the first article and skimmed it until reaching a part that specifically piqued his interest.

Sherlock Holmes and his partner John Watson's relationship is obviously less than platonic. Relationship expert, Tiffany Laines has confirmed multiple theories with her video "Debunking 'Johnlock'." Laines stated in her video that "Holmes and Watson are very close for just roommates. It seems it's Holmes&Watson rather than just Holmes and Watson. Based on body language queues, like the leaning in from Watson, and the way Holmes' colleagues described him as brash whereas it seems John does not find him that way. Can this mean Holmes treats Watson differently? Of course, we can never be sure with their limited interaction, but my speculation is something is going on."

John read over that paragraph multiple times. He read it for what felt like hours. He stared and analyzed it wanting to know what they meant. What the secret meaning could be even though the truth stared back at him. He wanted to throw his phone. Launch it across the room. Find whoever wrote that article and beat them. Instead, John put his phone down and made his way up to make some tea.

"Tea?" He asked into the air, hoping Sherlock would maybe answer.

"Yes, that'd be nice."

John prepared two cups and watched while the water boiled in the kettle. He listened to it fizz and at some moments John wondered if it would boil over. John could be compared to a kettle. He would fizz and bubble until he reached a point where he would just stop or boil over completely. John believed he was a calm individual, though he wasn't. It's hard being calm when you're rather vigilant all the time.

"I've got it!" John spun to see Sherlock pacing around the house frantically. "It was so obvious how could I have not gotten it!",

"What?",

"It's objects! The numbers were words and the words were objects. I've got a lead, John.",

"How did you manage to get that out of a sheet of numbers?" John was impressed. Well, not impressed, because Sherlock could solve a murder with his eyes closed and hands tied, but his skills were always impressive.

"It became quite obvious with hints. The necklace the woman had is a precious object so at first, I thought it could be something expensive, but there's nothing expensive in our flat. Yes, I'm assuming it is in our flat, as the woman left these papers in our flat rather than taking them to Mrs. Hudson, or some other person. Of course, maybe it's just because she was one to visit us, but with the pieces of paper originally the coordinates seemed to also have directions that were rather similar to the way to get into our flat. To sum it down simply, there's clues in certain objects in our flat." Sherlock seemed so animated when he talked about these things. He always strived for perfection and clarity on his cases and when he got it, it's like it sent him into a high. "Don't drink the tea, by the way.",

"What's wrong with the tea?" John felt overwhelmed with this information. There were hidden messages all over the flat. What if he stepped on one? Or got it wet?

"You added milk to yours. It's expired. Strange you pour the milk before the water." John looked at the milk in his cup that had small chunks in it and dumped it down the sink, sugar swirling down with it.

The kettle finished as John was there and he poured it into Sherlock's cup. He waddled over to Sherlock's desk and placed the tea, noticing the messy state of affairs. Sherlock's desk had papers all over it. The papers in the centre focus were the ones from the most recent case. One paper had computer, Jane Eyre, heart, written on it, while all the others remained blank.

"Heart?" John felt a strange feeling when Sherlock looked panicked. Sherlock looked like that word wasn't supposed to be written.

"Likely mistake. I don't know why that word is there. Stupid mistake." Sherlock quickly flipped over the paper and overemphasized the grab of the cup. "Go watch telly or something. I'm busy." John hated the way Sherlock would brush him off so easily. Even with living with him all these years he still couldn't brush off the hurt it caused. He wanted to get his mind off this, but his mind immediately went to drinks. With what John remembered happened last night, drinking was the last thing he wanted to do. So instead, John left the flat.

He walked the opposite way from the pub. His mind thought of one thing and one thing only; Sherlock. He felt like one of those articles as he speculated what heart could be. Does Sherlock have a secret photo album of Irene Adler? John was sure that Sherlock didn't have any human organs (they had cleaned all those out after John screamed at Sherlock over the fact that if Rosie ever found them she'd be terrified.) Was heart meaning that Sherlock's heart had been taken? Was he in love with someone? John felt a spike of jealousy and resent for whoever this person was. How dare they have Sherlock's heart. Why can't it be John? John paused internally. Why was John so jealous? He didn't like Sherlock. He never liked Sherlock. Sherlock was a friend, but friends don't get jealous over their friend's relationship because they want it to be them. Maybe John wanted Sherlock as a little more than a friend, but he only liked women. His brain was just being weird again. It's because he hadn't been with any women in a while. He just missed Mary, and Sherlock was the only person around that he could be with, so his brain was just skipping to conclusions. John needed to meet someone. There was one person that came to mind, the woman he had met on the bus. He had always wanted more and now was the time for that. He could unblock her number and text her. It would be something that has no strings attached. It will help John get his mind off Sherlock. He'll be able to realize his feelings were stupid.

When John was back at the flat he felt strange guilt. Like sending a text to this woman would be cheating on Sherlock. Sherlock wasn't romantically interested in John at all. John stared at his phone and the text that was sitting and waiting to be sent

Would you maybe want to meet up sometime this week?

John shut off his phone, he needed time to consider. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted something. He wanted someone, but this just didn't feel right to him. She didn't feel right for him. He felt like he would be using her. He would use her to distract himself from his own problems. He didn't need a distraction he needed advice. He really needed advice. Who was he supposed to get advice from?

John sat at a small table with a pink linen table cloth on it. The chairs were rickety and felt as if they were going to fall apart any moment, whereas the table cloth looked pricey and was clearly good quality. It had ballerinas dancing on it, and could definitely be used as a small blanket.

"What are you here for, John?" Mrs. Hudson asked,

"I need some advice." John expected Mrs. Hudson to be the last person he went to, but there he was, sitting in her flat.

"Aw, did something go down between you and Sherlock?",

"No, no, that's not it. Well, I mean. I don't know." John wanted to smack his head into the desk. "I need advice on feelings."

"Oh, John," Mrs. Hudson sounded genuinely caring. Or maybe John just wanted her to care.

"I'm not in love, before you think I am. I'm just confused and I want advice.",

"Is it Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson knew before John. The articles knew before John. John realized with those words, that he was indeed stupid for Sherlock. He had to admit it to himself. He can't deny it all.

"I don't like men." Denial, denial, denial. All he did was deny. He had realized, but he wasn't going to acknowledge it. He may know, but if he ignores it, it's not real.

"I may be your landlady, but that doesn't make me oblivious." ,

"But I'm not-"

Mrs. Hudson interrupted him, "my advice is to stop denying it."

John pushed up from the table, shocked the chair didn't crumble. "I think that's enough advice for today." He hissed as he left the flat.

TAG LIST: @johnlocktrashsblog @ephemeraljimin @artefo @love-j0y

#johnlock #johnlock fanfic #john watson #sherlock holmes

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bitchin-beskar · 4 years ago

Text

The Internet is Forever Part 1

Fandom: The Old Guard

Rating: T (vague mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly described)

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Once more, y’all have The Gay Guard gc to thank for this lovely crack. It’ll be in three parts, with this one focusing on Joe and Nicky, Part 2 will focus on Andy and Quynh, and Part 3 will focus on Booker and Nile. I’ve never actually streamed or posted videos on YouTube, so I apologize for any inaccuracies, but... this is crack, so... you should kind of be expecting that at this point.

Tags: @the-chaotic-virgo, @hi-short-for-hello, @immortalwarriors, @the-killer-queenie, @roses-are-red713, @acolorandafeeling, @bookersebastien, @fetchmeabook, @ikilledtheducks, and @goalkeepernerd I blame every single one of you for this cursed fic. They all contributed to this AU so they ALL get credit for encouraging me to write this.

Also @perropascal!!!

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of my works!

Please consider liking and reblogging! I love the feedback!

You know the saying, “The internet is forever?” It’s true. It’s incredibly difficult to remove anything once it’s posted on the internet. That’s why Copley had been able to find all the evidence of Andy, Joe, Nicky, Booker, and Quynh from over the years. No matter how hard they’d tried to scrub their backgrounds, a few things always fell through the cracks. And now, in the twenty-first century, with technology growing at an unprecedented rate, it was harder than ever to stay off the internet. When the team had hired Copley to cover their tracks and find them jobs, he’d known he was going to have his work cut out for him. Unfortunately, he’d never expected… this.

***

“Nile, can you come here for a moment, please?”

Nicky’s voice called out from the kitchen, and Nile got up from where she was perched on the couch, shutting her copy of Les Misérables–in the original French, mind you, Booker was trying to help her learn another language–and tucking it under her arm, walking down the hall and into the kitchen. She stopped, frowning in confusion as she took in the scene before her.

Nicky was standing at the kitchen counter, a plate of baklava on the countertop in front of him. The rest of the kitchen was a mess, dirty bowls and measuring cups filled the sink, and ingredients covered the counter. He had a webcam set up in front of him, along with a laptop, and Nile could see that he was streaming.

He looked up as she entered, smiling brightly. “Nile! Come, you must try this baklava!” He holds the plate out eagerly, and Nile steps forward cautiously, carefully taking one of the little squares.

“Why? What are you doing?” Nile asks, suspicious, as she inspects the piece of baklava, not convinced that Nicky hasn’t done something to it.

Nicky looks at her, hurt. “I just want you to try my baklava. I’m teaching the internet the proper way to make it, and I want you to tell them how it tastes!” He gestures to the live webcam. “I need you to be honest, tell me how it tastes, even if it’s bad.”

She gives him the look. She’s never once eaten something made by Nicky that didn’t taste absolutely amazing. As long as this isn’t a prank, she’s not sure there’s any way his baklava won’t taste divine. She takes a bite, and nearly moans at the taste. The buttery texture of the dough is perfectly complemented by the taste of walnuts, hazelnuts, and pistachios, and there’s a hint of orange citrus that just brings everything together.

“Well?”

Nicky’s looking at her, his eyes wide and expectant, waiting for her to give a review. “It’s amazing Nicky, seriously,” she says, grinning as Nicky beams at her. “It’s the best baklava I’ve ever had. Try some!” Nicky picks up his own piece, taking a big bite, but before he can say anything, a voice floats over from the doorway.

“Yeah, but how much baklava have you had, really?”

Both Nicky and Nile turn to see Joe standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, a playful smirk on his face. “I mean, if you’ve only ever tasted his cooking, you don’t really have anything to compare it to, do you?”

Nicky growled–seriously, growled–under his breath, and Nile looked between the two, confused. She was so used to seeing them acting like they were still in their honeymoon phase that seeing this other side of both of them threw her for a loop. She backed away from the couple, glancing at Nicky’s laptop, seeing that he was streaming to YouTube. She snorted when she read his channel name: BetterThanOliveGarden. She glanced at the live stream of comments and had to do a double-take. Based on what people were saying, apparently, Joe and Nicky had this online rivalry, and people kept debating their relationship, whether they were roommates, dating, or something else.

She watched as Nicky shoved the plate towards Joe. “How about you try my food before you critique it, Joe?” A sly smirk spread across Joe’s lips, and he took the plate, setting it down without taking any food off it. Instead, he strides forward, cupping Nicky’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply. Nile looks away awkwardly when Nicky moans, and she glances at the comments and sees that they’re going nuts.

People are screaming, keyboard mashing, and comments like: OHMYGOD WHAT, are popping up constantly. Nile grimaces at the webcam. She whispers to the camera, “You guys do know they’re married, right? They do this all. the. time.” She throws a thumb over her shoulder at the two men, still locked in an embrace. Joe has one hand clutching at Nicky’s hair and the other in the back pocket of his jeans, and Nicky’s got his arms thrown around Joe’s neck, both of them completely lost to the world.

The comments are still blowing up, and Nile isn’t sure if she should actually end the video or not. She shrugs, deciding to leave it going. What’s the worst that could happen?

***

Well, apparently, Nicky and Joe forgot about the live stream. Nile only found out when she went to go and find the video, only to see that it had been taken down due to “violating YouTube content policies.” She asked Joe about it.

“Well, you see, apparently it’s frowned upon when two people decide to show their love for one another–”

“You two started taking off each other’s clothes, didn’t you.”

“Yes. Yes, we did.”

“Please tell me the two of you left the kitchen before the pants came off?”

“Of course we did, we have enough self-control–”

“Andy came in and yelled at the two of you that you were about to do it in front of a live audience, didn’t she.”

“Um, well… yes.”

***

Nicky’s retaliation happened later that week. Joe apparently ran an art tutorial channel, where he did sketches, showing people how to draw anything from animals, to the human body, to landscape, to architecture. His channel was called ScrewMichelangelo, which had confused Nile until Joe had explained the man refused to stop flirting with Nicky, so Joe hated him. Nile was skeptical, until Joe pulled up an image of the statue David, pointing out all the similarities between the marble statue and Nicky.

Nile was shocked. She could see the resemblance and turned to Joe in shock. “Wait, Nicky posed for Michelangelo?”

Joe grumbled, frowning deeply. “No. I accidentally left my sketchbook in his workshop one day, and there were some sketches of Nicky inside. He used those for his inspiration. When I found out I…” Joe looked sheepish. “I was very upset. Nicky keeping me calm was the only reason Michelangelo survived my wrath.”

Nile grimaced. “Yeah, I can see why you’d be pissed.” Joe nodded, and he began to set up the webcam.

Joe had asked her to help him out, so Nile was once again in the video, this time posing for Joe so he could show people how to draw braids. She was still trying to get through Les Misérables–seriously, she hated french–and she’d lost track of time when she was startled by the door banging open. She looked up from her book, watching as Nicky strode determinedly into the room.

“This,” he said, coming up behind Joe and laying his hands against the sides of Joe’s neck. “Is for ruining my baklava video.”

He tipped Joe’s head back, pressing his lips against Joe’s harshly. Nile had learned from the last time. She got up, shut off the webcam, and left the room, shaking her head when the men didn’t even react when she shut the door loudly.

“Stupid horny immortal husbands.”

***

It had been a quiet week, and Nile was suspicious. Nicky and Joe had each ruined multiple of the other’s videos with intense make-out sessions, and Nile was surprised that they both hadn’t had their accounts banned from YouTube. Neither of them had done anything this week though, so Nile was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When she woke up one morning to a YouTube notification from Joe’s account, she actually groaned. She wasn’t sure she wanted to watch what they’d gotten up to, but she figured she should probably check.

Clicking on the video, she was surprised to see that she couldn’t actually see anything, because the video was pitch black. Suddenly, a soft light appeared, showing a shirtless Joe. He held a finger to his lips, giggling, before shining the light onto a sleeping Nicky next to him.

“Nicolo, destati.”

Nicky grumbled, trying to swat Joe’s camera away, but he missed. “Nicolo, habibi, destati.” Nicky groaned, rolling over and blinking up at Joe.

“Yusuf, what time is it?”

“Three am, habibi.”

“Why Yusuf?”

Nile can hear Joe giggling. “I wanted to show everyone what I get to see every night for the rest of our lives.”

Nicky’s face softened, and he reached a hand up, pulling Joe’s face down and into the frame, and into a kiss. Joe managed to hold the camera steady, somehow. When he finally pulled away, Nicky grabbed one of Joe’s hands, tugging him down so that Joe is spooning him and his arm is wrapped tightly around Nicky.

“You’ve got your video, amore, now let’s sleep, please.”

Joe says something, but it’s muffled as he sets the camera down. The light turns off, and Nile thinks the video must be over, but when she checks, she realizes there are still hours of footage left. She fast forwards, and once the room starts to brighten, Nile realizes it must be morning. She sees as Nicky and Joe come into view, still spooning on the bed. She watches as Nicky wakes, and sees the camera still running before he reaches out to shut it off.

She shakes her head, shutting the phone off. Maybe now they’d stop ruining each other’s videos and she wouldn’t have to listen to their complaints anymore.

***

Well, Joe and Nicky had stopped bothering her. But Andy and Quynh were a whole other story.

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mma3youf · 4 years ago

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FA222 ,principles of graphic design:

Instructor: mr.munwar mukhtar

@uob-funoon @mnwrzmn

Project 1 : interviews

What is your given name, and user name on ZBrush Central?

My name is Khalid Abdulla Al-Muharraqi, my ZBrush Central user name is "Khalid72".

Tell us about your company, how did you start?

I set up Muharraqi-Studios to continue my family's history in the creative world and I am trying to continue to build on what my father started. The company was set up about two years ago after I left the commercial world of advertising with my partner Rashad who decided to leave a career in banking. We wanted to get together to make a place that allows us to be more creative. Since then we have been fortunate enough to work on some of the biggest projects in the middle east, and also continue working on our ideas and concepts, like our movie project. The most important thing for me is the work I do and that's what we are all about.

What is the size of your company?

The company is me and my partner, oh and our secretary... Keesha, a German Shepard! I am a hand's on guy and I do all the creative work myself. At first, I thought it was normal to carry that load because of the speed I work in, but later found out that I am actually very fast compared with bigger teams of artists in other studios. Finally I understood what people were telling me when they said I was 'unusual'. That’s why some of the CG magazines in Europe were amazed that a lot of our work is done by a one man team that puts all the 3D components together into a visualization. I work about 13 to 18 hours a day, I love 3D work, so my hobby and my work has joined into one, so … yes, very little time for a normal life.

What type of projects do you work on?

Well, I have been working on Architectural Visualizations since we started a couple of years ago, but I try to satisfy my urge to do what I really like, art!

You're located in Bahrain, somewhere most of us don't know about. Can you tell us how you learned your trade?

I love this question, Yes Bahrain is a small Island in the Persian gulf, we speak Arabic as our main language and English for the second, I will answer the second part in two parts, If you mean The art... I would say that I come from an artistic family, my father is one of the most well known artists in this part of the world, you can say that he is a household name in these parts. If you are asking were did I learn the 3D or CG art, I would say that I learned it by practicing for 8 hours a day after my official day of work, so I guess you can say I have been my own teacher in the industry.

Tell us a bit about your client base, mostly local, or do you have clients in Europe, Asia, America?

We serve clients from the Middle East, Europe and the Americas, I would say that I have been fortunate enough to have worked with some of the top people in the architectural industry, most of our clients are attracted to the type of work that we produce.

ow long have you been an artist?

Since I was six...I think! Well, the first painting I have sold when I was eleven. I was always painting and trying to find new techniques that will help create the concept in my mind.

Tell us about your background, your education, your mentors...

I studied art in Houston Texas for over seven years between interior decoration, photography, Visual communication, and digital enhancement or photo retouching, from there I have continued my working career in the commercial world. My first mentor would have to be my father, learned everything I know from him. He gave me the push start into the art world and made me feel it. There are also the books and artwork he has exposed me too with some of the top art in the world. A lot of names come to mind but I would say Frank Farazeta, Boris, The Creepy magazine and of course all the original Mad magazines and books that were very hot in the early 80's.

When you became an artist, did you first use traditional media?

For sure, I started with Pencil then got into crosshatching with ink, then I started painting with water colors and gouaches. I finally got into air brush art before I tried CG art.

What was your first CG package? What is your first 3D Package?

Nice question... first CG software was PSD, version 2, it was like magic... It felt strange especially that I was a traditional artist at the time. My first 3D package would be Alias Sketch for the Mac since I was a Mac user for a long time and did not have much 3D developers for Mac at the time. It was a new world for me and I think I still have a dusty copy of it today even after the software was canceled back in the early 90's, it just reminds me of my past.

How long have you been using ZBrush?

It has only been about six months, but I was up and running almost a few hours after I purchased it.

What made you try ZBrush?

I was watching some of the tutorial videos on how to paint details on the Gnomon training DVD's, and that's when I was shocked to see that it is art on the computer! I did not believe it at first, but It was one of the happiest moments when I first installed my first copy of ZBrush and started painting geometry for the first time, it reminded me with the days when I was pushing and pulling real clay to make a small creature of my imagination when I was a kid.

What's your favorite ZBrush feature?

The ability to paint geometry like it is physically in my hands.

How has ZBrush enabled you to express yourself in ways other packages couldn't?

Well you cant really compare it with any other software, it's simply too different! It changes how a CG artist works, it changes how he looks at things, has changed the industry to the next future leap, and who would want to go back to the past....? I would simply say that the concept of the software is very smart and impressive, my only wish to add on it is to have a bigger view port :)

Now onto "Floating Islands"Tell us about your creative process, how did this concept emerge?

One evening when I was stuck in the studio waiting for clients approval on a project that I was preparing for the kingdom of Bahrain, I was trying to get free again and relax my mind from all boundaries, I started to sketch a concept that has bean in my mind since I was a kid, the island that was then discovered to be on the back of a whale, these were some of the old middle eastern stories about Sinbad's magical voyages.

Do ideas just come to you out of nowhere, or are there particular artists or work you are inspired by?

I am always inspired by everything that is beautiful, whether it is an artist or a design or just Gods creation, I would also say that I have always had my own style in my work and almost never try to follow a certain style that I have seen.

I love this piece, can you tell me about the process of creating it? Have you explored this style before? Or was this created for something specific?

The process was, a sketch or the map as I would call it, and that would be the basis of my creation, I almost never start without it, once I crack the direction then I would start thinking about the execution and the path to take. About the style, well I don't think of my work as style, I think it is more towards I do what I feel, it is only when I am finished with it that I say "Yes! That's what I was tying to do". I almost never tried to repeat a style that I have seen elsewhere on my work. I feel that It is like a code of respect between artists.

In your image "Floating Islands" where was ZBrush used?

ZBrush helped me sculpt the geometry and take it to the next level in a short time. Modeling, UVs, Painting and scenes setups was between Lightwave and Modo. With ZBrush I was able to put the final touches that would make it come to life. ZBrush helped me start painting the UV map textures and setting up the foundation of the look and feel. I also generated some of the whales textures by the amazing ZMapper ;)

Tell us about your pipeline.

I start with Modo, then go to ZBrush, then finally render with Lightwave. The thing with software today is that they work hand in hand to complete each other, for instance ZBrush is very specialized in what it does, it focuses on the need of the artist and helps the creator to complete his task sufficiently with a smooth flow, artists have never had it this good.

What projects are you working on now?

We have just completed the visualization for the Master Plan for the Kingdom of Bahrain with one of the leading Architectural firms in the world, we have helped restructure and rebuild old and new cities for the country. Now I will be working more onto the movie project that we have been trying to get the time to start, hopefully I will be able to focus more on creating more Characters and environments for the movie.

Any last comments for us?

I would like to say Thank you to Manuel at Pixologic and Pixologic for appreciating the work I do. I would also like to thank all the development team and staff at Pixologic for there dedication to work together to help create some of the best tools ever created for the CG industry, I always expect the ideas to be fresh and most importantly designed for the end user, the artist, allowing the artist to continue being an artist without the restrictions and boundaries of a computer.

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years ago

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Light me up

Word count: 2,405

Pairing: Kuroo x reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of mental health issues

Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto just moved into their new apartment, what happens when you, the singer of his favorite band he has a crush on, not only move in next door, but also attend the same college?

Mini Playlist: Don´t cross my path - Dollskin

Fake your death - My Chemical Romance

I beg to differ - Billy Talent

A/N: Title is inspired by the album of the same title by The Pretty Reckless. The vibe fits.

You were excited to move into the apartment building with your friends and band members. Starting college was always a dread to you, you despised the idea of dorms, you didn´t want to be roomed with people you didn´t even know and it would be such a drag to practice and go to the studio too. Luckily you somehow got a cheap apartment near campus.

Your band wasn´t that popular, but you played some gigs a bars and your social media presence and following wasn´t too much so that you´d still count as an underground band. You never wanted to become famous, seriously, it all started when you shared your music on YouTube.

People liked it and you took it serious, saving up to record an album. It was really nice being able and having the time to follow your dreams and ambitions like that.

Currently you were busy carrying the boxes up the staircase, your families lent you a big van and everything fit in there, you would need help moving the furniture though.

“Bro, we have new neighbors!” Bokuto exclaimed, looking at Kuroo with a spark of excitement in his eyes.

The latter was busy sorting his textbooks and barely looked up at him.

“Oh yeah?” he absently feigned interest while thinking about how many minutes he needed to plan in for the way to his faculty.

“Yeah! Come on, let´s help them carry their stuff!” he tugged at Kuroo´s shirt and he groaned, getting up reluctantly.

He decided that he´d get up thirty minutes earlier just in case, he didn´t want to be late.

The two got out of their apartment which was right across yours.

Kuroo´s eyes went wide as he caught a glimpse of you, this couldn´t be… this had to be a dream.

“Yo, that´s (Y/N) from (Y/B/N)” he hushed quietly, not believing his eyes.

“That singer you have a crush on?” Bokuto asked, Kuroo never shut up about you and introduced your music to his best friend.

Kuroo nodded and thought way too much about what that all meant.

“All the more reason to help them!” Bokuto announced, walking over to your apartment full of confidence while Kuroo followed with a heart that was beating way too fast, he could swear he´d pass out any moment.

“Hey! You´re new here right? We´re your neighbors and thought you could use some help, can we help you carry your stuff?” he beamed while Kuroo looked at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing he ever saw.

“Uh, alright” you said, he sure was straight forward but you really could use the help.

“Thanks for the offer, we were just thinking about how the hell we were gonna get the furniture up here” you thanked him and smiled slightly.

“I´m Bokuto by the way, this is Kuroo!” he introduced the two and you nodded, smiling as you introduced yourself and your friends.

Kuroo swore the moment your eyes landed on him was the moment his heart stopped beating.

Bokuto was quick to the task and carried up the boxes like a champ, he made conversation about what classes you were taking, Kuroo would have the same history class as you which filled him with dread and excitement at the same time, Bokuto also proudly told you about the fact that they both were on the volleyball team and how anxious they were before the letter of affirmation came in. Then he told you about their friendship, how they met and all that.

It was nice, they seemed like cool guys, though Kuroo didn´t really say much, but maybe he was just shy.

Right now Kuroo was handed your guitar by your friend and was so scared that he´d drop it, he carried it upstairs with the utmost care.

Bokuto noticed that his friend had trouble approaching you, as always when it came to new people. But this was different. With normal new people he could still make small talk while being uncomfortable, especially with Bokuto around he usually opened up pretty quickly.

Though, the whole situation with him having a crush on you made that harder for him, so Bokuto noticed. Kuroo didn´t even look at you, he could see how anxious and jumpy he was.

“Hey, you have a lot of instruments and amps and stuff, are you in a band or something?” Bokuto asked and Kuroo wanted to sink into the ground, he didn´t like the direction this was going in at all.

“Yeah actually, we´re (Y/B/N). I don´t know if you´ve heard of us” you nonchalantly said.

“Oh that´s so cool! Hey, Kuroo, isn´t that the band you always talk about?” he beamed.

No. Oh no. He didn´t. That fucker, he knew how bad he was at making conversation. Especially now, he didn´t want to make a fool out of himself.

Bokuto only meant well, he knew that, but still. That was a dick move.

He felt like a deer in headlights, you were looking at him, actually looking, awaiting his answer.

“Um… yeah… I really like your music actually. It helps a lot” god, that sounded stupid, way to go, Kuroo.

“I mean it´s just very touching, you know? And I don´t know… it´s just every time I listen to it, I feel less alone. Not that I´m alone, I mean I have my friends… But still, your music is just very… special to me. And your… your voice is amazing” that did not help at all, why didn´t anyone stop him? Bokuto knew that he had a bad habit of rambling when he was nervous, so why did he let him embarrass himself like that? Especially in front of you.

You probably thought of him as a crazy fan now, well, to be fair, he was. He was borderline obsessed with your music and your social media posts always made him laugh, he felt so close to you whenever he watched your YouTube videos, hell, he knew how to play your songs on his guitar because he watched your tutorials that much. He even started playing guitar just because of you, because you said you did it because it was therapeutic, because it helped you calm down and focus and fuck, he understood. For him it was the same.

Kuroo wasn´t always in a good head space, in fact he seldom was. Not many people knew that, he was always scared to tell anyone because being mentally not okay was frowned upon by many people. Your music always made him feel safe, understood and listened to.

It was his safe space and for him sharing that with Bokuto deepened their friendship immensely, because it was like sharing a deep secret, a part of himself that he couldn´t put into words, but you could. And you did it so beautifully.

Yeah it was silly, but Kuroo always thought about how your first meeting would go if he ever had the chance to.

Never in a million years did he think that you´d end up being neighbors and in the same history class at that.

And of course he had to make an embarrassing first impression. Great job.

You looked at him in awe, nobody ever complimented your music like that, nobody ever really gave a shit.

“Thanks, that means a lot. I mean, we were just kids playing around in our garage, really. And one day we said fuck it, let´s record it, what could go wrong? It´s amazing really, this platform we have, this opportunity to speak our minds. To be honest I never really thought we could have that much of an impact on someone, so really, this means the world to us” you smiled.

That was the icebreaker for Kuroo, you two talked a lot about your musical influences, you noticed that you liked the same bands too, then he told you how he discovered you and overall you thought he was really down to earth and just nice to be around.

After the two of them helped you move in, you agreed that you´d definitely need to hang out more often.

And you did. The first time you were in their apartment you and Kuroo had a project to work on, you made a pretty great team and finished it rather quickly, so he showed you around a bit.

Their apartment wasn´t as messy as you thought it would be, but then again, Kuroo did mention that Bokuto was a stress cleaner.

When you got to his room, you talked about how you two got into playing instruments and got to know each other better.

It was easy to talk to him, not at all awkward which you appreciated and you found yourself in his company more often that not, you practically knew his apartment better than yours.

Often you´d catch him practicing on his guitar, humming along to the melodies in his head and scribbling down notes, too caught up into it to notice you.

He always looked so peaceful doing this, so calm and you couldn´t disrupt that, so you just waited for him and smiled to yourself.

“Have you ever thought about being in a band?” you asked one day when you were sitting on the couch and watching some movie long forgotten.

“Yeah, but I don´t think it´s for me. I mean, first of all I´m not good enough to play anyways. And also I wouldn´t like playing publicly, I´d get too anxious” he answered, it wasn´t as if the thought never crossed his mind.

In fact it did more often than he liked, but he knew that he would never make it. He preferred being on the sidelines, watching you.

He enjoyed it more than the inevitable stage fright, he liked playing his guitar in his room with Bokuto humming along.

“I think you´re pretty good” you mentioned, only having picked up bits and pieces from his playing, but what you heard convinced you thoroughly. You wanted to hear more, but that wasn´t really because you wanted Kuroo to be a musician, you just wanted to watch him play.

Something about the thought of Kuroo playing something on his guitar for you made your heart flutter and your face heat up.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Do you need help setting up later?” Bokuto announced his presence after getting groceries.

He closed the door behind him before he put away the groceries and joined you two.

“I´d appreciate it a lot, but only if you´re free” you answered.

It was nice that the two helped you and your band carry your stuff and set it all up, yet you couldn´t help but feel guilty.

After all they were busy too.

“I have nothing to do, so… Kuroo, you in too?” he asked to which Kuroo nodded way too fast.

He used every opportunity he could to spend more time with you, he felt like a desperate groupie.

But then again, you were so much more to him than the singer of his favorite band now.

“Amazing, you guys are the best! I´ll treat you to dinner, okay?” you smiled.

“Hell yeah!” Bokuto exclaimed, his eyes sparkling at the thought of his favorite food.

In the evening you and your band got ready, already packing together the stuff you´d need later, before picking up Kuroo and Bokuto.

Kuroo´s breath stopped for an instance when he laid eyes on you…

“You look great” he said without thinking about it, immediately regretting it and averting his eyes.

Bokuto was quite proud that he had the guts to give you a compliment and patted his back in sympathy.

“Thanks, you too” you felt your heart race as warmth spread throughout your body, you couldn´t stop smiling on the whole way to the location.

You started setting up with your band and with the help of Kuroo and Bokuto you finished relatively quickly.

“Thanks for your help!” you said, reminding them to meet you after the show to take them out for dinner.

Bokuto told you that it wasn´t a problem and pulled Kuroo to the side with him.

“So, did you tell them you liked them already?” he confronted him.

Right after you moved in, Kuroo was adamant on telling you how he felt, but every time he even thought about it, he´d freeze up completely.

He shook his head in defeat, sighing.

“It´s alright, now´s your chance” Bokuto turned him around so that he could see you where you sat alone on the stage.

“What? No! Not right now, that´s too soon… I didn´t even prepare what I wanna say” he panicked, Kuroo couldn´t do spontaneous, if he didn´t have time to prepare, he got anxious.

“Come on, there´s no one around, it´s the perfect time. You got this” Bokuto tried to motivate him which worked decently enough.

“Will you stop pestering me if I do it?” Kuroo groaned, already feeling embarrassed.

“Maybe” Bokuto grinned, but that was enough for Kuroo.

You´d say no anyway and he could brush it off as some stupid dare, yeah, that sounded plausible.

So, with the last remaining bit of bravery, he made his way to you.

Your face lit up as you saw him approaching, you wondered what you wanted.

“I can´t wait for the show, I´m really excited” he said to start the conversation.

“That means a lot, thanks again for helping us set up” you smiled at him.

“Ah, don´t mention it, it was nothing” he returned the smile and then took a deep breath.

“Um, actually I wanted to talk to you about something before the show starts…” he started, you looked at him curiously.

“I wanted to ask you this for a while actually, and um, it´s completely okay if you say no or don´t wanna hang out with me anymore, I understand… but uh, would you maybe wanna go out with me sometime?” he stumbled over his words quite a bit but overall Kuroo was glad he finally asked you, he felt good and kind of relieved.

You were still processing his words, trying to figure out whether he had meant it or not, though, by the look on his face, he was serious.

“I´d love that” you gave him a warm smile and watched his face light up with happiness.

“Really? That´s amazing!” he couldn´t stop smiling and turned around to Bokuto who was giving him thumbs up.

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo oneshot #kuroo scenario #hq #hq imagine #hq oneshot #hq scenario #hq kuroo #dangerous

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academian-rhapsody · 4 years ago

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Mikuyami’s Giant Guide to Self-Studying Japanese

If you’re like me, you’ve always wanted to be able to switch tabs while you’re watching anime and still be able to understand what they’re saying. Chances are you’ve watched enough anime to know a few words here and there and even understand a sentence once in a while, but you’re still not anywhere close to fluent. To get fluent, you’re going to have to do a lot more than watch anime. This is what this guide is for. Japanese isn’t an easy language to learn, and knowing which resources are good is important if you want to learn it properly. While the resources are the focus of this guide, it’s very important to read the stuff I’ve written about them. I know the walls of text look scary, but just trust me.

Note: all resources listed are completely free unless otherwise stated.

And yes, all the links in this guide will open in a new tab when you click on them. You’re welcome.

For now, let’s start with the basics - Hiragana. Hiragana is the first thing you should learn and teaches you Japanese pronounciation, reading, and later on, grammar. Here are a few good resources for learning it:

Websites:

Really, the only website I’d recommend (that’s completely free) is Memrise. Memrise is great for learning Hiragana/Katakana and vocab. It’s used for other school subjects like math and science, but I’d say it’s the best for learning languages. You’ll learn words and characters quickly, but it’s important to do it for 10-20 minutes each day. HOWEVER: While Memrise is an amazing vocab resource, it isn’t optimal for grammar at all. It’s also important to know which courses are good and which ones aren’t.*

Phone apps:

Kana Mind - This is by far my favorite resource for learning Hiragana (and Katakana!). When I decided to start learning Japanese, I wasn’t sure where to start, so I just downloaded some simple phone apps. I’m glad I did - this app is extremely easy to use and I quickly learned Hiragana. Just like Memrise, though, you should review the characters for 10-20 minutes fairly often.

TenguGo Kana - A lot more information is covered in this app. While Kana Mind is good for learning the characters, TenguGo is good for learning about the characters. It also includes Hiragana and Katakana charts for quick reference.

Memrise - Yes, Memrise also has a phone app! It works just as well as the website (in my opinion).

Kana Draw - Learning the stroke order for Hiragana is important, and this app teaches you just that. It’s very simple, but again, you should practice consistently.

Very important: You should also practice writing Hiragana! With correct stroke order, of course. All that’s needed to do this is a pen and paper. This chart shows the stroke order for all the Hiragana, but you shouldn’t look at it constantly - it’s more of a quick reference thing, and you won’t learn as well if you rely on it too much.

Really, you don’t need any fancy resources to learn Hiragana! You shouldn’t be spending any money to learn it, either. What I’ve listed should suffice. Hiragana is straightforward and you don’t need to do anything but memorize what sound each character makes. Most of these resources also cover Katakana, which is what you should be learning next.

*In Japanese, there’s a formal way of speaking and causal way of speaking. Some Memrise courses only teach formal, and while that’s important to learn, so is casual! There isn’t really a good way to tell you how to distinguish formal courses from casual ones, so for now I’ll just say… trust your instinct. That’s terrible advice, I know, but just focus on learning vocab and be aware that you still have to learn either causal or formal.

Because most of the Hiragana resources I listed also include Katakana, it’s time to move onto the more scary stuff - grammar. No, we don’t need to start learning Kanji quite yet, as the Kanji can be read with the Hiragana sounds (that’s why Hiragana is so important to learn). You’ll need more resources to learn grammar, but the go-to man for this is…

Tae Kim.

This guy has a special place in my heart. His Japanese grammar guide, guidetojapanese.org, is arguably the best free Japanese guide out there. I’ve gotten more out of this one site (it can be purchased as a book too) than out of every other resource I’ve used. He provides videos as well as explanations and examples. However, it helps a lot to take notes and copy examples down for future reference. To give you an idea of what I mean, here’s a page of notes I took in a simple composition notebook: Of course, there’s no format you have to follow while taking notes - just do whatever makes sense to you and what helps you. Taking notes also gives you practice with writing characters. The great thing about Tae Kim’s guide is that it gives polite examples as well as casual examples (as you can see from my notes). Also, throughout the guide, you learn plenty of vocab and even Kanji. While this guide covers Japanese grammar really well and could be the only resource you’ll need, sometimes you need more examples or explanations.

This website is kind of like a wiki for Japanese grammar. I haven’t had much experience with it so I can’t say much about it, but it provides plenty of examples and explanations, and is broken into different levels so the easy grammar stuff is separate from the more complicated grammar. The content is contributed by other people (which is why it’s like a wiki), so there’s lots of stuff to look through.

Now comes the wall in the Japanese language: Kanji. This is where a lot of people stop learning Japanese because they get scared off by it. Yes, Kanji is scary and you’ll have to learn a lot of Kanji to become fluent in Japanese, but now that you’ve come this far you might as well keep going. Since there’s so much to learn with Kanji, you’re gonna need fancier resources and sometimes - sorry to say - ones that you have to pay for.

iKnow! is overall a great resource for learning Japanese. It provides a tutorial on how to use it, and helps with Kanji, listening, etc. I gave it a try and really liked it - it’s very organized and spends extra time reviewing the words/Kanji you have trouble with. The one downside to it is that you have to pay to use it. There’s a free trial, which you can actually learn a lot from, but if you really wanna learn vocab/Kanji then you’re gonna wanna get the membership.

Anki is available as a phone app and downloadable program as well as online (but the program should be the first and most used). It’s like flashcards - you’re shown a Kanji, and you have to know what that Kanji means. You then “flip” the card to see the correct answer. I’m calling them flashcards, but they’re just called cards and sets of cards are called decks. You can make your own cards, but decks can be downloaded from Ankiweb. Anki is completely free and I’ve heard lots of good things about it.

Tofugu is a site dedicated to learning Japanese and Japanese culture. It has plenty of information about Kanji readings, Kanji stroke order, etc., and even provides other resources for learning Kanji. While it doesn’t provide vocab, it’s good for learning about Kanji.

EDIT: I’ve recently discovered a phone app called KanjiSenpai and it has quickly become my most favorite resource for learning Kanji. You can learn tons of Kanji using this app, and it even teaches you the stroke order of each one (tips for guessing a Kanji’s stroke order can be found on Tofugu). In addition, it keeps track of how long you studied each day. I’d highly recommend this app for learning Kanji.

Other Resources

Sometimes you need to look up a Kanji’s stroke order, or maybe you just wanna learn more about Japanese culture. This part of the guide is for random resources that help with Japanese or provide information about it.

Jisho.org Basically a Kanji dictionary. You simply search for a Kanji, and the meaning, pronunciations, and stroke order for it can be found. I refer to it a lot, sometimes when reading Tae Kim’s guide and other times when I’m just curious about a Kanji.

Maggie Sensei This website has information about Japanese culture, manners, mini Japanese lessons, and more. I’d say it’s more for intermediate Japanese learners, but there’s still a lot to be learned regardless of how much Japanese you know.

Youtubers There’s quite a few people that track their lives in Japan through vlogs. These videos provide tons of information about Japanese culture, and sometimes there’s videos about learning Japanese. My favorite person that makes these sorts of videos is kanadajin3. She has lots of videos about Japanese culture and provides tips about learning Japanese for all levels of learners. Another Youtuber I’d recommend is jyuusankaidan. She basically does the same thing as kanadajin3, but also includes vocab from her videos in the description. Finally, Medama Sensei makes videos mainly about Japanese society. Though his channel doesn’t seem to be active anymore, his videos were very interesting to watch.

Anime Yeah, okay, I said anime isn’t good for learning Japanese, but that’s only if you want to become fluent in it. There’s still a lot you can learn from watching anime - that is, if you listen carefully and pay attention to what the characters are saying, how they say it, and when they say it. If you really wanna test out how much you’ve learned, try watching a non-dubbed version of the anime and see if you can understand what everyone’s saying. This can also help you learn faster and get used to how Japanese sounds.

Japanese Songs Something I’ve only started doing recently is taking a few lines of lyrics from a Japanese song and learning them thoroughly. This means learning the meaning of all the Kanji in those lyrics, learning how to write them (thank you Jisho.org), and learning how to pronounce everything (find the Romaji lyrics). This obviously helps with learning multiple aspects of Japanese.

As a final little note, I’d say that the most important thing to do in order to learn Japanese is to just keep at it. When I started learning Kanji, I was overwhelmed by the fact that each Kanji had multiple pronounciations, but as you learn more, things start making more sense. I’ve definitely noticed a lot of improvement in my understanding of Japanese. So, always try to stay motivated in your studying!

Well, that just about does it for this guide. If you know of any other good resources that I didn’t list, feel free to add them onto this post. Also, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me an ask! I’d be more than happy to answer your question. I’m no expert and I’m still far from being fluent in Japanese, but I’ll do my best to help you.

Thank you for reading and happy studying!

#the reason I copy-pasted is bc I couldnt hardly read on the saved version #mikuyami #not mine #japanese #langauge #language learning

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bookworm-2692 · 5 years ago

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About a week ago I finally finished bookbinding @airdeari‘s beautiful Zero Escape fic The First Nonary Game. It took about a month (between all the waiting for glue to dry and also several days each week when I was unable to work on it), and was so much fun! It’s so satisfying to just... hold this book in my hands.

Details about how I made it, along with additional photos (and commentary) below the cut.

So I came across this post on Tumblr, which immediately inspired me to try bookbinding myself. I spent a few days watching so many tutorials from the youtube channel linked in the post (I’ll link the specific tutorials I used in this post), and googling how to actually manage to print pages so they form proper signatures, because the inbuilt booklet creator in Word doesn’t exist in my Word apparently so that’s fun.

Anyway, once I started, I asked @airdeari for permission to print and bind his fic, and he immediately said yes, so that was good. Then I spent a good couple of days copying the entire fic into a Word document, and fiddling with formatting so it would look like an actual book (section breaks, page numbers, headers with the fic title on the left page and chapter title on the right page (this took ages to work and I kept on stuffing it up), and making sure things just... looked nice. I added in the art After The War that @keycrash created specifically for the fic (third pic above), and an “afterword” containing credit and links and the author’s notes from AO3 (because even if I’m the only one who will ever see it, it still feels weird to not add the credit stuff in so it’s there).

I then saved the document as a PDF, and used CheapImposter to correctly shuffle (impose, hence “imposter”) the pages so when folded into signatures, each page would be in the correct order. This program was the first free one I could find, and was great because you could specify the number of sheets you want per signature, rather than stuck with a default. I chose to have 11 signatures of 6 sheets of paper, since that was the amount that would have the least blank pages and the end of the book. The file was 261 pages, so with two pages per side, and two sides per sheet, you divide the number of pages by 4 to get 66 sheets of paper

I then printed. There was only one (1) paper jam in the process, which was great. Unfortunately, I realised after I printed that one of the headers for one chapter was wrong (I hadn’t properly disconnected the two chapters), but fortunately that only involved reprinting 4 sheets of paper.

I used the following tutorials to make the books: DIY Textblock, a general “how to make a textblock” tutorial; DIY Kettle Stitch, a specific look at the stitching for a textblock, since the first tutorial doesn’t focus on this; DIY Book Cloth, since I chose to use fabric for my cover; and DIY Hardcover Book, how to put all those pieces together.

So then I started folding all the signatures. I was watching so much Brooklyn Nine-Nine during both the folding and stitching sections, since it was repetitive actions I didn’t need to concentrate on that lasted hours.

It was at this point that I sliced each signature one by one to make the end smoother and less pointy. In future I recommend not doing it at this point - wait until the very end. Instead, move straight onto stitching.

I don’t have any photos of the stitching portion, since my phone died the morning I started the stitching, and I wasn’t able to replace it until after all the stitching was done. In fact, originally all the photos from before the stitching were lost too. It was only about two days ago that magically the My Photo Stream thing kicked in and brought back all the photos - if it had worked two weeks earlier I would’ve had more. As it is, all photos from September to January are gone forever, unfortunately. But that’s another discussion entirely.

The above is the first book photo on my new phone, so as you can see, all the stitching was completed, the spine was glued, and the purple paper attached. I couldn’t buy two A4 sheets, so instead I had to buy one A3 sheet and cut it in half. Which was difficult cycling home from the city with an A3 sheet that didn’t fit in my bag on account of being A3 and not A4, but oh well.

I don’t have a book press, so I used a pile of DND books and my brother’s weights instead, as shown below.

I then had to re-slice the book after this point bc my first go wasn’t even, on account of slicing each signature separately. Next time definitely I’ll just do it at the end like this. I then also sanded it to make it smoother. It’s still not perfect, but it’s something that’ll take practice and patience so.

Next I made the book cloth, which involves using appliqué sheets to combine cotton fabric and tissue paper. But first I want to talk about the fabric I chose for the cover, because I’m quite proud of it. I spent ages wandering around the shop, trying to find something that fit the feel of the book. Spoilers for the content of the fic if you haven’t read it yet, and also for the source material (999/Zero Escape). I was thinking about some sort of blue swirl thing, because of the Gigantic sinking. I found that, but hesitated because it didn’t fully fit, and my favourite colour is blue so I always pick blue. I also considered flames/fire because of the incinerator thing, but couldn’t find any. I can’t remember if I just couldn’t find any four leaf clover fabric, or if I’ve just since thought about that as a cover. But instead I chose the butterflies below. They fit in several subtle ways that I’m proud of. The colours of blue and pink(/red) matching the receiver and transmitter coding all throughout 999, as well as the moments of purple as well (I don’t think I need to get into that, I’m sure it was analysed to hell and back when the game first came out). The butterflies also point towards the butterfly effect, and in turn the different timelines present in the series. So together it just works. /spoilers over

It’s also just a pretty fabric.

Now the making of the book cloth. I had to make it twice, because I was too impatient the first time, so the iron was too hot and it steamed, which wrinkled and warped the tissue paper, so the fabric was all wrinkly too. The second time took ages and was a worse quality appliqué sheet, but worked well enough anyway.

(My parents: did you have the iron out? what were you ironing? you never iron)

And then I cut the book board to size, using the measurements from the tutorial video. I’ll repeat them here: front and back cover: width = width of textblock minus 3mm, and height = height of textblock plus 6mm, and spine width = width of textblock spine, spine height = same height as covers

I then glued the board onto the book cloth, and put it under the book press. The dnd books are not large enough to cover the whole thing, and also I really wanted the board to stay flat and not curl, so I grabbed way more dnd books and way more of my brother’s weights. I also accidentally started putting the glue on the wrong side of the board (bc one side is smooth and the other is rough), hence the colour difference as well.

The corners were cut and folded and glued over...

And then the textblock was glued in, and put in my book press for a whole weekend. I added a sheet of paper to absorb the glue so the pages wouldn’t become wrinkly, but instead the sheet I added was fine and every other page in the book is wrinkly. So I dunno what happened there. After the weekend I took it out and looked at it, and then put it back for another week to be sure.

And then the complete book is shown at the top of the post!

As I was starting I was talking a lot about it, like about the process I had to go through, or how I was going to obtain what I needed, etc. Mum asked if she could read the story. I froze, like a deer in the headlights... because this is a fanfic. She saw my fear and immediately backed down, explaining she only wanted to read it because if the story was that important to me that I was going to literally turn it into a book, she wanted to read it to yknow like know me better or something? Which makes sense. And when I got over my initial reaction, and remembered that indeed it was technically my dad who introduced me to fanfic, and thought about it more, I said okay. Because since the fic is technically a prequel to the first game, and most of the characters are technically OC’s (like, from the first game we know that all eighteen children must exist, but most of them don’t have names or anything so they are effectively OC’s), then knowledge of source material isn’t strictly necessary. This fic can probably be enjoyed on its own. I mean I’ll probably have to explain the concept of morphogenetic fields, and the last four chapters might not make sense? But I’m okay for my mum to read it. So when she’s less busy at work I’m going to download the epub onto her phone for her - we’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, this fic is a masterpiece, extremely well written and I highly recommend it. As said, most of the characters are effectively OC’s, and yet they are all given such rich histories and personalities. All of them have access to the morphogenetic field, so I’m just so glad that @airdeari explores nine unique relationships with the field - nine unique sibling dynamics, and esper powers and abilities. It’s just so good.

#bookbinding #zero escape #999 spoilers #999 #the first nonary game #airdeari #i forgot to mention the most essential step of making the book #before i printed the pages i read the entire fic again through word #its still so beautiful #i cant wait for my first read of the fic using my physical book #if youre in the ze fandom and still have not come across this fic yet #first of all who are you and what rock have you been living under #and second of all please read this fic bc its anything and everything you could ever want from a fng fic #feel free to ask more about this and what i did btw #it was so fun binding this book #i want to do more of my fav fics now haha #this fic is 100k and it was like the perfect size for a fic to print #most of the other fics i really like are much much longer so i'd probably have to split them in half #and idk if i could do that #too much pressure to split between the right chapters #oh well uni has started so i have a while to think about which one to do next #ive already promised a version of this fic for a friend who wants to draw her own cover #so we'll see how that goes!

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thoughtsofthunderstorms · 4 years ago

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An end to a year full of twists and turns we couldn’t have imagined in our lifetimes. I hope during this hectic time you were able to find some peace and rest with friends, family, or just on your own. I think it is important to find a moment of silence, if only for a moment, to be present and process what has occurred. My mind has been stuck in March this entire year, so I’m unsure how it is days from 2021!

This is my junk journal for next year. I made it from a cereal box following a tutorial from Johanna Clough on YouTube (not an advertisement, I just seriously recommend watching her videos if you're interested in junk journaling or just watching relaxing, creative videos)! I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. A previous one I made went through severe warping and bubbling because I used wrapping paper for the cover and thin cardboard. So, for this one I used fabric, which I love the added texture. As you can see, there is still a bit of bubbling, but I think it adds to the appearance. My theme for this one is vintage nature and it is filled with different vintage-looking papers. I don’t remember how many pages are in here, but I know it is over 50 including the fronts and backs of each page. I prefer to go chronologically in my journal, do you go chronologically or choose whatever page stands out to you? I do love the lace closure. It is a very simple journal, but I think gluing the lace and buttons on adds a bit of character. Also, I have tied the signatures into my book since I struggle with sewing them in by hand.

I have already started filling it out with a calendar, goals, and things I want to track. I have also added that I will be joining Yoga with Adriene's 30-day yoga journey "Breath" in January (again, not an advertisement, I just find her videos are amazing and feel like doing yoga with a friend. She always gives me the courage to keep going and the videos always seem to know the moments when I’ve reached my limit to remind me that it’s important not to force yourself into a pose). I cannot wait to recommit myself to yoga and have my body feel good again (Note to all that have put off yoga or other hobbies/activities, it’s okay! Every moment of every day is a new second to start again. This is also something I’m trying to learn). I am still thinking of a word to strive towards in this coming year. This year's word was Balance and, goodness, was my balance thrown off more than I thought it would be!

This year was difficult—really, really, difficult for everyone. As difficult as this year was for myself, I believe it taught me a lot of lessons I had been wanting, or needing, to learn. I am learning how to focus on the bright little moments that I usually took for granted. I am learning how to acknowledge my emotions and sit with them when I usually would have buried them and walked away. I am learning my emotions and feelings do not make me weak and that talking to someone about my troubles doesn’t make me a weaker person, but a stronger one, I believe. I am learning that while my perfectionism will toss my needs aside, it is more important to be there for myself when I need it the most (breaks, exercise, etc.). These lessons are hard for my mind to grasp every time they’re challenged, but I’m still learning and will be doing so for the rest of my life.

So, come midnight on January 1st, we will still have a virus present, school and work ahead, and a new world we need to adjust to—but for now I am sitting in this moment, thinking about my journal, and hoping to find some rest so my mind can recover from the rollercoaster of a year we’ve had. All other challenges will come with time, so for now I choose rest. I hope you can also find rest, peace, quiet, calm—something to give you a moment to recover your strength, build your courage, and remember that you are beautiful, you are enough, you are so much stronger than you think, and you will conquer life’s challenges that lie ahead.

Rest well and I hope to see you in my next post.

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ceo-of-lions · 5 years ago

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Hello! I was wondering how you made the videos with the faces layered on top and such? I’ve always wanted to make some.

Putting this under a read more because I ended up severely overexplaining (as I do) and i’m not about to remove all this typing I did. Anon I am so sorry if this is ridiculously long and no help at all.

As a disclaimer, this is meant for pc/laptop. Phones can probably do it, but they’re much less capable in general and most editing apps are paid, watermarked, just plain bad, or a mix of those. Also, it’s entirely possible this is a very unnecessarily tiring and inefficient way do do this. This is just how I personally go about it. If this method gives you the ol’ jangle bones (cause it sure does that to me!) and it doesn’t quite feel right of fulfilling then I strongly recommend asking other people on how they do it.

To get started you’ll need a few things beforehand:

✦ A video editor of some kind (I’m using Lightworks; it’s free, unwatermarked, and autosaves your projects if it ever crashes)

✦ A photo editor (I’m using Pixlr E, it’s, again, free, and you don’t need any installation

✦ The video you want to edit characters onto

✦ A render for the charcter with a transparent background

I’m not sure whether or not installing Lightworks has any oddities i need to mention here, but if you (or anyone else) ever gets stuck, don’t hesitate to dm me or shoot me another ask!

First of all, you’re gonna need a good video. Trust me, once you manage to get into The Zone, this is going to be your only obstacle. And it’s an annoying one. Having a source that reliably uploads these kind of “short but sweet” videos (preferably around 30secs long or less) really is half the battle!

Once you’ve got your video chilling somewhere on your pc, you’re going to need a character render (or two) of some kind. Fandom wikias are often good (or at least decent) sources for this. Of course, you’ll need one that has as little covering/touching the character’s face as possible. Once you’ve got your renders, go to Pixlr E, click the blue “open image” button over over on the left get the pic you need n’ open it. After that, it’ll look like this:

Next, you’ll need the crop tool. Go ahead and crop away everything till the face is the main focus.

Once you’ve done that, zoom in and select the cutout tool. Then, select the “draw mask” option and reduce it’s softness all the way down to 0.

Once you have that going, just draw over the character until everything from their chin down is all gone, like this;

And it’s all done! Click “file” in the upper left corner, then “save” to download it. Make sure you save it as a .png file, otherwise the background won’t be transparent. You can just close the tab from here. I recommend taking a break here, get a drink or maybe a snack!

Next, open Lightworks. If it asks you to log in, do so. Take a tutorial if you feel like it. (I strongly recommend watching the “quick start’” video tutorial they have over at the lightworks forums along with some more in-depth ones; for creating simple videos with characters pasted over it, my guide will be all you need, but it might be useful to know how to mess around with audio, crossfades, greenscreen/chromakey, etc.)

Once you’re all free to do what you want, create a new project, give it a name, and set the framerate. (if you don’t know about this one just set it to “auto”)

Now, it’ll look like this:

Go to the bottom left and select “local files”. From there, select the video and your characters’ faces and import them. (tip: holding ctrl or left shift while clicking allows you to select multiple, don’t remember which one it was www)

Once you have everything, go to the “edit” tab.

Make sure the long red stick-thing at the bottom is all the way at 0, then double click your video to open the source viewer and press “b” (or click the button labeled ‘replace.). Once it’s in the bars at the bottom, you can get rid of the source viewer. Then, if your clip is anywhere under 5 minutes, you’ll be stuck with this gaping hole next to it:

Right click the empty void and click “close gap” to solve the issue. This is somewhat necessary, because if you export the video afterwards without the gap closed there’ll just be a black screen for 4 minutes. Make sure you don’t have any tracks hidden, otherwise closing the gap won’t work (though you probably won’t have anything hidden if you didn’t click anyting else).

Alright, now for the most soul-murdering part of the process (after looking for the video, of course): Image Key, a.k.a where we actually put the characters’ faces on top of the video. Go ahead and click “VFX” at the top, and you’ll have a menu like this:

In the effect library to the left, select the “key” category and then double click “Image Key”. You’ll need one of these image key effect for each face you’re using. (Also, you can just minimize the color correction if it’s unfolded, we’re not gonna be messing with it.)

So now, we’ve got this! For the sake of simplicity, you can rename the effects to the characters’ names so you don’t mix them up. Under “choose a file,” select the character faces. If you imported them into your project when you started, they should be easily findable under the “Project” tab. Right now, the characters will be in the center, right under one another. You can move the characters by either using the “Position” sliders on the left or by clicking and dragging them with your mouse in the actual video. For the most part, we’ll be doing the latter, but because the faces are stuck under one another in the exact center, you move both of them at the same time. To fix this, move one face away from the other using the slider one time.

Okay, moving on! This part is important not to skip. Notice the little timer-like icons to the left of the sliders? If you hover over them, it says “Enable/disable keyframes for this parameter.” Click them for every slider under “scale” and “position”. Now, we can start keyframing it; keyframing basically tells the image where it needs to be, when it needs to be in that location, how big, etc. For us, this means that we can make faces move along very fluidly with the video.

By now, we’ve made quite a bit of progress! I recommend taking another break before this to avoid feeling tired. Green tea helps! Once you’ve done that, go ahead and click “Graphs”. Since you enabled the keyframes, your effect should show up with, lo and behold, some graphs to go with ‘em:

I personally work by keyframing one face at a time. To do this undisturbed, I disable the little green light that says “toggle bypass” when you hover over it for the face i’m not going to be keyframing. It hides that face temporarily until i put it back on again. To decide what face i’ll be keyframing first, I just look at whatever face appears in the video first. Once you have the face that appears first, make absolutely positively sure the red bar is at zero to be able to set where and how the image starts out. Then, drag the face onto the poor human soul whose face we’ll be replacing today. Go back to the “settings” tab and slide with the “Scale: Master” until the character’s face is big or small enough for your liking. Then, if the person we want the second character to portray is not on-screen, we click the green (now gray) lamp on the unused face and drag it off: depending on your video format, either to the black on the side (which we’ll crop off when we’re done) or just off-screen if your video is fullscreen. If the person is on-screen, just drag the face on top of that person and adjust size like we did with the first face. These will be the locations the characters start on. Switch the green light back off for your second character, and move back to Graphs.

This is where the “””””fun””””” begins. So, right now, you have your red bar at 0, and you have your character where you want it. We need to move the character’s face frame-by-frame. Luckily, there’s an easier way to move frames: with your arrow keys. Every press with your left or right arrow key moves the video one frame into that direction. Now remember what i said about using your mouse to drag the images where they need to be? It comes in really handy here. Press your right arrow key thrice to move 3 frames ahead, and then drag the image to wherever the face is on that frame. Lightworks will automatically fill in where the image needs to be on the frames in between those frames so you don’t need to precisely move the image on every frame (though this might be helpful on shorther videos or videos where there is very fast movement.) Do this repeatedly until the video ends or the character disappears off-screen. Every 3-4 or so frames. For the remainder of the video. Entertaining. Very, very entertaining. (In short, it’s just: press arrow keys thrice > reposition image > repeat.)

Adding to this, sometimes the characters go off screen and then come back, but the faces move gradually to the spot leading to them appearing too soon. (sounds incredibly vague, I know, but you’ll know what it means when it happens.) To fix this, you need to go into the graphs labeled “position”. It’ll look something like this:

What you need to do here is click somewhere above or below the diagonal line in the middle to move your red line there. Press the arrow with the vertical line to the left to move to the previous keyframe. Copy the numbers that are to the left of the graph, press the arrow with the vertical line to the right, nudge one frame back with your left arrow key, paste the value you just copied over the one that’s already there and then press enter or the plus. That should fix it.

Okay. You have now keyframed all of the faces. It’s all done. Take a break here. I don’t care how determined you are right now. you Gotta. You Just Gotta. get some water, you deserve it.

After getting your water, go back to the “edit” tab at the top, right click your video and select export. Select the format, give it a name, and huzzah! Finally. Unless you have a video format with black edges, then it’ll look somewhat like this. To crop those sides off, we’re going over to Kapwing to crop it off. (You need to register (free) to remove the watermark, and i’m pretty sure Lightworks can also do it, but I haven’t found that option yet and I’m too stubborn to) Once you’re done with that, download it, delete the old version and you’re really done. You deserve a pat on the shoulder now because god fuck if this isn’t one of the most tiring processes to do out of free will (and that times 10 if you’re a slow worker like I am) but honestly making hundreds of people laugh is SO MUCH of a payoff you can’t help but keep wanting to do it wwww

if there’s any more questiong about this or if i forgot something (which i probably did) please shoot me an ask or dm!! all i am physically incapable of doing is simplifying this into less of a wall of text

#not twst #not a meme #ohhhhh my god #ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh #my god #i am never typing again for a week #i need to recharge and i ABSOLUTELY need a nap #i only just finished chapter 2 bc. lazy #i still need to process it #gonna upload the vid i used here in a minute or 2 #my brain is just coconut mall mario kart

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 6 years ago

Text

Non-Sequential [Ch. 18]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,200

Chapter 17

Steve waited patiently as he sat across from Y/N. Despite her throwing herself into his arms when she showed up at his door, she came to moments later and put that unbearable distance between them once again.

Steve adhered to Bucky’s warnings. Everything was now on Y/N’s terms. He wouldn’t touch her, wouldn’t crowd her personal space until she wanted him to and consented.

“I’m sorry,” Steve finally started the talking. “I should never have left you. I was scared. Scared that I was the reason you kept getting put into danger. I convinced myself that if I stayed away, you would be safer.”

Then he leaned forward. His body needed to be closer to her, but he had to respect her distance. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for it. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Because I know that’s what I deserve.”

Y/N just stared into Steve’s baby blue eyes. It felt like minutes.

“You know what hurts the most about it all?” She whispered. He said nothing, but just waited. “I was there for you, out of my own time, every moment you needed me. When your mom passed, the night before you got the serum, even when you were being beat up in back alleys of Brooklyn – I was there for you.”

Steve was crying now. His head dipped in shame.

“And the one time I needed you, more than ever, you’re nowhere to be found.”

“I know, Y/N.” Steve whispered, wiping away his tears. He knew it was pointless. They just kept flowing.

“You left me alone in a country I know nothing about, surrounded by strangers. All while you’re running around the world, trying to make me forget about you.” Then she shook her head at how ridiculous it sounded as when she said it aloud. “As if I could ever forget you…”

“I know,” he repeated.

“You want me to tell you what to do to get me to forgive you, I suppose.” Y/N muttered darkly. “The thing is… I have no idea what that is.”

Just when Steve thought his head couldn’t dip any lower, it did.

“I understand,” he answered.

“But I love you,” Y/N finally stated.

Steve’s head shot up.

“And I’m always going to love you. So, maybe I can’t forgive you right now. But I will forgive you. I just don’t know when.”

Y/N slowly stood up then.

Steve shot to his feet, his dated chivalrous manners incapable of being stopped.

“I just…I just need time,” Y/N admitted timidly before leaving his bedroom. ————————————————

Bucky was riding Humphrey, trying to herd the goats back into their pen. It was a unnecessary since they were basically as obedient as dogs. But Bucky was thinking about getting some sheep. He had to learn to herd them correctly if he wanted to be able to manage it all.

The goats seemed to sense something that Bucky hadn’t and started running past Bucky, against his commands. He turned Humphrey to follow their path and realized that the goats were running towards Y/N as she approached his land.

A wave of relief washed over Bucky. She was back from her time traveling. And she did not look to be physically harmed.

However, even from the distance, Bucky could see that she was broken up.

He quickly dismounted and walked toward her.

She stopped and let out a long sigh.

Bucky waited.

Then Y/N closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Bucky.

He was surprised by sudden intimacy. But he wrapped his arm around her nonetheless.

“You OK, kid?” He whispered gently in her hair.

She nodded her head against his neck, but didn’t let go of him quite yet.

“Somethin’ happen when you traveled?” He asked softly.

She shook her head.

He pulled away slightly so he could study her face.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He asked as he brushed some hair behind her ear.

“I don’t know anymore,” she whispered. “I just needed some air and next thing I knew I was walking here.”

Humphrey had walked over and nuzzled Y/N’s neck. His animal instinct sensing the human’s distress. She giggled at the tickling and gave the horse the attention it wanted. She turned and stroked Humphrey slowly.

“I’m just…tired,” she finally said. Though she kept her focus on the horse, Bucky knew she was talking to him.

“Steve know you’re back?” He asked.

She nodded, “I just talked to him.”

Bucky nodded slowly. “Maybe you should get some sleep, kid.”

Y/N eventually nodded agreeing. “I can’t…I just can’t go back there right now.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed at her words. But he wasn’t about to kick her out. “OK.”

Then he led her to his hut. The goats happily pranced behind them, trying to catch up.

Once they were inside, he pointed to his bed. Y/N eyed him for a moment and shifted her weight awkwardly. For some reason, sleeping in his bed felt intimate, even without him in it.

“Go ahead. I gotta do stuff around the farm still. I won’t bother ya,” Bucky insisted.

Without waiting for her response, Bucky closed the door behind him.

Y/N stifled her giggle when she heard Bucky reprimanding his pets that they had to let her sleep.

“Fred, leave her alone. I’m not messing around,” she heard Bucky warn with a stern tone that was fading as he stepped further and further away from the hut.

It had started to leave Y/N in awe how Bucky seemed to be a completely different person from the robotic weapon she had met in the past. He admitted to having rough times and to struggling with getting back to even just a small portion of the man he once was.

But to see him work at it everyday made Y/N realize she could get back to herself too.

Bucky’s life had been much harder than Y/N’s time traveling. It made her trials and tribulations look like a cakewalk in comparison. She knew it wasn’t a competition. It wasn’t about who’s life was more difficult. But that didn’t stop her from admiring his strength.

Y/N knew it wasn’t as easy for him as he made it out to be. But his efforts made Y/N want to stop feeling sorry for herself.

Y/N didn’t know how long she’d been sleeping for. But it was definitely the longest she’d slept since arriving in Wakanda. She realized it was the smells that had finally roused her, the need for food now stronger than the need for sleep.

When she opened her eyes, the hut was darker. The sun must’ve just gone since the sky outside the window was a beautiful purple, pink, and orange dusk.

Y/N looked over to see that Bucky was cooking in the kitchen.

She sat up, suddenly having a weird feeling wash over her.

This felt off. Too intimate. Domestic.

“Figured you’d be hungry once you woke up.” Bucky had known the moment she was awake, but he kept cooking.

Y/N tried to act casual, but her heart was racing for some reason. “Uh…what’re you making?”

“Shuri sent over some recipes and even included these little video tutorials,” he gestured to the hologram projecting from a tablet on the kitchen counter. It was showing a step-by-step process and even kept with Bucky’s pace so he didn’t have to keep rewinding and pausing as he cooked.

“It’s pilau with braised lamb,” Bucky answered. “Apparently it’s a classic Wakandan dish.”

Y/N ran her hands through her hair, assuming she looked a mess after sleeping for so long.

“Uhh…I should probably get going.”

Bucky finally took his eyes off his cook and looked at her for the first time since she woke up.

“What?” It was a dumb response, but he could sense she was trying to flee.

“Yeah, I should get back to the palace.”

Bucky sighed and put his utensils down and wiped off his hands before walking over to her. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” she answered too quickly.

Before Bucky could say anything, Y/N jumped off the bed and was putting on her shoes. Then she threw her hair up into a mess bun and booked it out of his hut.

“Y/N,” Bucky called after her, but it was pointless.

She was speed walking up the hill when she stopped dead at the sight before her.

Steve was walking down the hill, coming right towards her. As soon as he caught sight of her as well, he paused too. Then he continued walking at a much slower pace.

“I didn’t expect to find you here,” Steve told her when they were finally close enough to talk to one another.

“I was just – I was just hanging out with Bucky,” Y/N shrugged as she crossed her arms.

Steve nodded slowly. “You don’t have to leave because of me, you know.”

Even though Y/N had been on her way out before she knew Steve was heading over.

“Oh, I was already heading home. He’s making dinner. You should go see him. I don’t think he wants to be alone right now.” Her words were jerky and awkward. For some reason, she felt like she’d been caught doing something bad. She also didn’t know why she told Steve that Bucky didn’t want to be alone.

“Everything OK?” Steve asked carefully.

Y/N nodded quickly without looking him in the eye.

“Look, I know things aren’t great with us right now, Y/N. But I just need you to know you can still talk to me – about anything.”

Her heart dropped and she couldn’t help but meet his gaze. “I know, Steve.”

He nodded. “Sure you don’t want to come back with me?”

Y/N turned around and looked back at Bucky’s hut.

“Umm…Actually, yeah. I’ll go back with you.”

Steve seemed pleasantly surprised and tried not to look overexcited.

Y/N started walking by his side.

Maybe if she sat with both of them, things would be clearer. Maybe if Bucky saw her with Steve at her side he’d understand that they couldn’t continue dancing around this fine line that she was starting to see.

Did she have feelings for Bucky? Did Bucky have feelings for her?

Steve was the one that knocked on the door.

Why was she so nervous? This was stupid. She was being stupid.

Bucky didn’t care about her more than as Steve’s girl. He didn’t care about her as more than a friend.

Bucky opened the door and his expression immediately shifted. It was subtle. Of course it was; he was probably the world’s deadliest assassin. He knew how to control his emotions.

“Steve,” Bucky greeted evenly.

“We ran into each other,” Steve explained, eyeing Y/N. “Figured the three of us could hang out. You know… like old times.”

“Great. I made plenty,” Bucky smiled warmly.

If there was an lingering concern or tension from his and Y/N’s strange goodbye just moments ago, he didn’t show any signs of it.

Y/N found no animosity or suspicion aimed at Steve from Bucky. Maybe she had been imagining things growing between her and him. Maybe she really was an idiot.

“You cook?” Steve asked in slight shock.

“Now I do,” Bucky shrugged.

Steve walked in first, which gave Bucky an opportunity to look at Y/N and ask her silently if she was OK. He didn’t understand why she tried to flee, to run away from him.

Y/N just responded to his silent question with a forced smile.

She expected this to quickly turn into a nightmare, a social experiment gone completely wrong. She was about to have dinner with her boyfriend, who didn’t feel like her boyfriend right now, and his best friend, who she’d kiss and was acting more like her boyfriend than her actual boyfriend.

What could go wrong?

But nothing did go wrong.

Bucky didn’t act weird. Steve didn’t act weird. Apparently, the only person that had been expecting things to get weird was Y/N.

Bucky and Steve fell into conversation, the same way they did back in the 30s.

Through the tablet Shuri gave him, Bucky started playing jazz from the 30s and 40s. It felt very out of place in the tribal hut in the middle of Africa.

Steve kept his distance from Y/N for the most part. Everyone knew Steve wasn’t one for PDA. But Bucky wasn’t the public. Everyone once in awhile, Steve’s hand would pat Y/N’s thigh when she said something cute or funny. It never went unnoticed by Y/N.

Bucky could tell it was hard for Steve to stop himself from doing more. Steve would be about to put his hand on Y/N’s lower back as they moved around the kitchen, trying to help Bucky make dinner. And at the last second, Steve would pull his hand away. Then Bucky would see that sparkle in Steve’s eyes. He recognized it from when Steve would look at Peggy. Bucky just knew Steve was dying to kiss his girl.

Bucky had never seen the couple together while they were in love. He’d only been with them in the platonic part of their relationship. This was new. This was different.

It was late into the night now. Candles were melting to their end. All three of their plates were empty and their stomachs were full. They’d been drinking wine all night, but Y/N was the only one tipsy from the drink. Neither Steve nor Bucky seemed to mind it though.

Then Y/N yawned twice within 5 minutes of each other and Steve knew that cue.

“Alright. I think it’s about time I get this one to bed,” he stated playfully, nodding towards Y/N as she poured herself another glass of wine.

“I’m adult. I know when it’s time to go to bed. Thank you very much,” Y/N replied with snark.

Bucky smirked at her as she filled their two glasses as well.

Steve just chuckled, knowing she was fine and it wasn’t worth even playfully bickering with her over it.

“Plus, we gotta help Bucky clean up,” Y/N added as if it were obvious.

“No, it’s fine, doll. I don’t need any help,” Bucky quickly answered as he stood up and already started grabbing some of the plates.

Y/N glared at him. Then she looked at Steve and he seemed to be watching Bucky with an expression she couldn’t quite read. Little did she know, it was sparked by Bucky calling her ‘doll.’

Steve realized Y/N was studying him and snapped out of it, giving her a shy but charming grin.

“Come on. I’ll walk you home,” he told her gently.

Then he stood up and walked to his friend. “Thanks for dinner, Buck.” The two men gave each other a hug and Y/N could tell how much the two loved each other even from such a simple and innocent form of affection.

Then Y/N quickly gave Bucky a hug as well, muttering her own thanks into his shoulder.

The Wakandan air had gotten cooler and drier since the sun went down. Y/N shivered slightly at the sudden change of temperature and immediately crossed her arms, hugging them tightly to her torso to conserve body heat.

A second later, a warm weight covered her shoulders. Y/N jumped slightly at Steve placing his jacket around her shoulders.

He didn’t even have to think about it. Being a caring gentleman was the most natural thing to Steve Rogers.

“Thanks,” Y/N muttered softly as she looked at the ground and pulled his jacket tighter around herself.

He just nodded.

They started walking into the night, back toward the palace.

“I can’t seem to get over how beautiful it is here,” Steve sighed as he looked up at the stars.

Y/N’s eyes went up to the sky too and she just nodded.

“I’m sorry…for leaving you here all alone,” Steve told her. “I didn’t want you to get tangled up in everything that happened with The Accords and I knew there was nowhere safer for you than Wakanda.”

“I understand why you did it,” she replied. Then she met his gaze. “But that doesn’t make it any less shitty.”

Steve knew that was fair.

“Where have you been?” Y/N realized she had never bothered asking.

“We’ve been bouncing around. Can’t stay in one place for long. We’ve been picking up any leads we can get, trying to do some good still, even when if we’re…” His words died.

“Criminals?” Y/N offered knowingly.

“Guess that’s the word, yeah.”

Y/N stopped walking then. He followed her lead.

“Steve, even with everything that happened, it doesn’t matter what the hell they say. You’re still a hero. Criminal or not, they can’t take that away from you.”

Steve scratched the back on his neck. “I don’t deserve you saying that,” he exhaled. “But thank you, Y/N.”

She nodded once and kept walking.

The rest of their walk back was filled with silence. Not an awkward kind.

Steve walked Y/N all the way to her bedroom door.

“Thanks for walking me back,” Y/N muttered stiffly.

He nodded.

“How long are you staying for?” The question fell from her lips before she could stop herself and she immediately regretted it.

“Trying to get rid of me already?” Steve tried to tease.

“No, just trying to keep my expectations realistic,” she answered back a little too spitefully.

Steve winced at it. “Now that – that I deserved.”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have – just…sorry.”

“No, it’s OK. Really.” Then he put his hands on his hips, a gesture that was so Steve. “I’m not going anywhere. I gotta fix this.”

Y/N’s whole body tensed at his admission to guilt. Steve wasn’t a liar, especially when it came to her, to their relationship. He was a man of his word. If he planned on staying for as long as it took to fix them, he was going to do exactly that.

She finally opened her bedroom door. “Goodnight, Steve.”

He nodded. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

She started to close her door.

“Y/N?” Steve said quickly, as if he had a sudden burst of courage.

She opened her door wider and gave him a questioning look.

“Would you maybe want to meet me tomorrow morning?” “Sure,” she answered too quickly without asking for more details.

Steve beamed and relief was released from his shoulders. “Great. I’ll meet you here at 7AM?”

She tried not to cringe at the time.

But Steve caught it anyway. “I know. It’s early. But it’ll be worth it, I promise.”

Y/N just nodded. “OK. I trust you.”

Those words meant more to Steve than she could ever realize, especially after everything they went through.

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Chapter 19

I DON’T DO TAGLISTS.

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timeslostart · 4 years ago

Text

December 7th, 2019

THE ROAD TO FASHION

Love creates all things...

I stumbled into fashion entirely by accident. There was no "Ah Ha" moment where I said this is what I want to do for a living, no growing up with a shoe or purse addiction, no need to have brand name clothes or continually sketch the newest trending designs in my notebook. It was a lot more basic than that.

As a young twenty something, I knew that I wanted to start my own business - that was it. I had no plan, no idea what I wanted to sell or what my business should be called but like many modern day entrepreneurs I decided it would be a good idea to open an Etsy shop. I took the first step down the road that day and I didn't even realize it.

Now when you've never run a business before you learn quite quickly that it is not as easy as it looks even with Etsy's cheat sheets. Setting up shop took quite a bit longer than I expected partially because I didn't have a name for my company and partially because I had no products to sell. This probably wasn't the best way to start off being a business owner but that's kind of what happens when you decide to walk in blind... you stumble.

I stumbled quite a lot. I think I spent more time catching myself from falling than I actually did building a business. In the beginning Times Lost Art or "TLA" as I like to refer to it now was more of a daydream while I was working at my "real" job than anything else. Case and point, I came up with the name for my business one day at work while I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink. Really inspirational stuff going on there, I mean REALLY!

I was big into cross-stitching and embroidery back then so that's what I decided to start making to sell in my Etsy shop. BIG MISTAKE! Anyone who has done any kind of embroidery can tell you first hand that it is extremely time consuming and you will never, ever, I REPEAT, never, ever be able to sell your embroidery for a price suitable enough to make up for the time you spent creating the piece itself.

And so I went on for a few years drifting in and out of the idea of starting my own business. My failures continually outweighing my successes. I was running out of drive and ambition and slowly but surely falling into the trap of living an ordinary, creativeless existence (if that is even a word).

Now working for a living isn't the only thing that can effect one's creativity. As with anyone's life, people can have an effect on it as well. Friends and lovers can appear and disappear as if by magic or at least that is how it feels sometimes. My artwork and designs were at a standstill, I was bored of spending so many hours cross-stitching even though I had become quite good at it. It was at that point that I decided to turn my attention to a newer hobby, one that didn't take quite as much focus and was quicker to execute... knitting.

I had taught myself how to knit a couple of years prior by watching YouTube videos of all things. (FYI - New Stitch A Day is an amazing website with numerous tutorial videos that I still reference all the time. I find them extremely easy to follow especially if you are a beginner knitter.) I found that I enjoy knitting very much. It is calming and relaxing and at the same time rewarding because you get to make something from literally nothing. You are essentially tying knots in a skein of yarn to turn into a garment. When you think of it in such layman's terms it really puts a new perspective on something that up until a few years ago I, myself, never considered an art form.

It wasn't until after my son was born, however, that I got this crazy idea to take that art form and start designing my own patterns. Up until that point it had never occurred to me to design my own, I had just been contented enough to follow someone else's knitting pattern. Once I had my baby, however, I had someone to make things for and the drive and ambition I had thought I'd lost came back in full force.

My very first design was created shortly after Halloween 2017. My son and I are avid Batman fans but do you think I could find a bat toque? I looked everywhere in town and nothing. For it being Halloween where bats and ghosts and pumpkins are supposed to be abundant I was sorely disappointed. I had never made a toque before let alone used more than one colour of yarn at a time. Knitting in the round was something new to me as well but I was persistent. After about the third go around I finally managed to hammer out a basic design that was wearable. At this point my then 8 month old was so over trying on hats that he would pout every time I came near him with one.

Being able to make something for him was exactly the inspiration I needed because shortly after that nine more baby toque designs followed. I finally had a clear vision of what Times Lost Art was supposed to be. It wasn't the same vision I'd had when I began and for that I am thankful. I followed the road to fashion not by choice but by love, the love I had for my little "Gremlin". Now it was time to take that love and build a brand.

Gabrielle Vansteelandt

Times Lost Art

#knitting #knitblr #knitters of tumblr #knitwear #knitpatterns #babyknits #fashion #knittedfashion #handknit #handmade #knittingpatterns #timeslostart

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flying-elliska · 5 years ago

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Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions.

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one.

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example : one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work.

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do.

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame.

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand.

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor.

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

#adhd #actually adhd #neurodiversity #mental health #depression #anon asks

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thiefking · 5 years ago

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major ddlc spoilers ahead, also i don’t know if all of this has been said/theorized before since i’m extremely late to the party here but i have a lot of Thoughts having finally played the game

firstly: i need to explain that every theory i’m about to present relies on the hypothetical game that would have existed if monika wasn’t self-aware

basically, irl the game was always meant to be what it is, but within the canon of the story, the ORIGINAL (fictional/hypothetical) ddlc was a regular dating sim visual novel. in canon, it was monika who changed it into the game we actually end up playing. we get only a glimpse of what the game would have been without her interference after you delete her and restart the game-- the mc no longer calls sayori “annoying” and yuri no longer mentions being into “surreal horror,” etc etc. that hypothetical unaltered version as a full game (henceforth referred to as “original ddlc”) is where most of my “what if”s have been clustering around to the point where i’ve genuinely considered making a fangame or something but instead i’m just gonna chat about it here

topic 1: monika’s route

monika claims she didn’t have a route in the first place. by all means, it seems that way-- you can’t appeal to her with your poems, can’t pick her for anything, etc etc. however, as much as monika is aware that she’s in a game, that doesn’t mean she’s genre-savvy.

i’d actually say she probably isn’t too much of a video game person in general, and i’m not referring to her 4th wall shattering, i’m saying she probably just likes to play acnl, minecraft and other casual, lighthearted games that don’t have an ending to them and can be played indefinitely, and maybe mario party if her friends come over, yknow? that’s just kinda what she seems like to me

now i ain’t dunking on anyone who only plays that kind of game, mind you, but if monika isn’t herself someone who plays a lot of video games, and you add that together with the fact that she was not immediately sentient (we don’t see her BEFORE she became aware, because the original ddlc is already gone by the time we start playing), the fact that while she’s aware what genre the game is she clearly has minimal idea of how they work or what makes them appealing, and that she has little coding experience and despite being able to alter files/lines she also couldn’t prevent basic game mechanics or predict said mechanics getting in the way, then i think it’s not only possible but very very very likely that she missed something. she missed something big.

monika was supposed to be an unlockable route.

so, y’all remember mysmes? i haven’t played it since it first came out, so mind you my memories are fuzzy here but mysmes also isn’t the focus of this post in the first place, so excuse any technical inaccuracies here but i’m certain that the IMPORTANT parts here, the italicised ones, are correct:

there was an unlockable "deep story” which served as the true end.

you had to play every route in the game before you could read the deep story (i think you also had to play the three other character routes before you could play 707′s route, but that might be wrong). also, each of the main story routes ended after the uh... the ball thing. the big event they throw? whatever it was, that’s where the story stops for those routes, whereas the deep story continues on past that.

you had to be on 707′s route for the deep story (i’m pretty sure you had to play his entire route and have it be your most recent playthrough to get at it, even if that isn’t the case, the deep story is specifically a continuation of 707′s route)

to be honest i was never a fan of the deep story for several reasons and i never really saw what the appeal of dating 707 was but that’s not important the point is that out of your four dating options, only one of them was considered the “true end”, but you had to do every single route before you could get that ending.

i’m sure you see what i’m getting at here, yeah?

there are a couple of other things, too:

monika tells you which character your poem appeals to most, she’s the one who introduces the game on the steam page (which is also proof she was sentient, at least to a degree, before you played the game), her name means “advisor/counselor”... iunno how many people reading this are savvy to the usual conventions of “games in which dating characters is a thing” but i’ve played a LOT of harvest moon. monika is a prime example of a Special Bachelorette. in harvest moon, Special Marriage Candidates are generally one or more of the following: a character from another game (like, literally-- you have to have a gba gamepak in while playing a ds game to see them), a shopkeeper or tutorial-fairy, characters with extremely elaborate unlocking and/or courting rituals, and characters who don’t even seem to be romanceable (in harvest moon games, romance candidates tend to have hearts next to their sprites that change colour depending on how close you are. generally that’s how you know who you can marry and who you can’t, but some marriage characters actually don’t have visible heart meters!). ... once again you see what i’m getting at right? put her in harvest moon and you bet your ass she’d have an invisible heart meter and an intricate courting ritual

she’s an important character. she’s club prez, she’s your tutorial fairy, she tells you who you’re appealing to. the tropes don’t lie, man, sayori would probably be the most realistic ending but i don’t think i know of a single game where the childhood friend character is the “true end” route-- they’re so easy to romance, they tend to be the route people do their first run and then never end up coming back to. i’m not trying to say anything in particular about this setup/logic, i just know that it exists and it exists a whole lot. if there’s a true end route in the original ddlc, it’s without question monika

by the way, in the corrupted ddlc, you still have to play every character’s route for the true ending. the true end requires you to have obtained all of the character cgs, which you can only do by playing all of the other characters’ routes, or at the very least, courting sayori, resetting and courting natsuki, and then letting monika warp the game, since you’ll end up on yuri’s route during the second act of the game no matter what you do. and what happens when you’ve had a chance to date sayori, natsuki and yuri? you end up on monika’s route. even when monika corrupted the game, there was still inherent logic to it-- all the characters inevitably become interested in mc, and you still can’t reach the true end without doing everyone’s routes.

as much as it would be painful for monika to watch you romance everyone else before you finally got around to her, she could have at least taken solace knowing she was the real ending, had she just been a little better at coding, just a little more genre-savvy...

of course, there are these lines she gives us, so clearly a sentient monika is still a monika that wouldn’t just sit there and wait regardless of if she knew she was the true end:

she says it herself: she’d still force her route, because she’s terrified, and the only one who seems to be aware that she’s in a game, but the really, really sad part is that as hard as she tries to convince you and herself that she doesn’t regret any of what she did, doesn’t feel guilty, doesn’t miss her friends...

she does. she knows she did something terrible, and she didn’t even actually have to do it.

... well, maybe “she didn’t HAVE to do it” is obvious enough for everything she did, but let’s keep in mind here that monika was scared out of her fucking mind, and reasonably so. if you were in her place, if you found out nothing was real, your friends weren’t real, nothing but code... and someone real came along, but no matter what you did, you couldn’t get them to talk to you long enough for you to ask for help... wouldn’t you get desperate too? monika was scared, and panicking, and remember: she knew she was in a game.

uninstalling a game does not a murderer make, right? the npcs, and the player character, they aren’t dead. they’re just code. if you back up your save, they’ll all be there if you download it again-- if you didn’t, they’ll still exist, they’ll just be reset. it doesn’t mean you’ve actively given someone amnesia.

but you still feel guilty over it, huh? even if you need disk space, even if you make a backup, it still kinda feels bad to delete the fictional friends you made.

you feel bad for doing that, and they were fake to you in the first place. monika was part of the game.

this is why it’s so sad to me. she was scared, and she thought she’d never even have a chance to ask for help, because she thought she didn’t have a route. her situation was, from her perspective, utterly hopeless. she felt terrible doing what she did, she misses her friends, but it was the only way to save herself, and being that she knew she was in a game, of course she’d try to rationalize her actions by telling herself her friends weren’t real and it was no different than overriding a save file. if she didn’t tell that to both you and herself, she’d be a murderer. she isn’t a murderer, either-- it really is just code, the problem is the overwhelming guilt that she has to suppress for the sake of her own sanity that she wouldn’t have had to bear in the first place had she been a normal route, or known that she had a route somewhere in the game.

the other characters do seem to have more sentience/free will than monika thought/noticed, but none of them are as Aware as monika-- natsuki shows the most amount of awareness (without being the club prez), having not only noticed that yuri and monika were acting strangely but even writing a note, one that clearly wouldn’t exist in the original ddlc, asking the mc for help. yuri also has several moments of lucidity, both with her own actions/behaviour and that of her clubmates (and by clubmates i mean pretty much just natsuki). like i said before, though, they aren’t as aware as monika, and while sayori (in the first run), yuri and natsuki all seem to realize something is wrong, they also don’t know that they’re in a game.

monika was very, very alone, even when she was surrounded by her friends. friends that she legitimately cared about and enjoyed spending time with. i wonder whether it would have been better that she were more self-aware, or never was in the first place

topic 2: the true end

so i already talked a lot about how i think monika woulda been the true route, but not about what i think would happen in the true end. i have less to say on this topic both just in general and because i already spent so much fucking time on the first topic, but of course i have Thoughts, i wouldn’t be claiming monika would be the true route if i didn’t have an idea of how said route would work

i’ll take this character-by-character for the sake of clarity and organization

sayori:

so here’s the thing:

monika exaggerated sayori’s depression, yes.

sayori is, understandably, probably the character most people would rather the mc end up with, sure.

... but sayori never told mc she was suffering, not until he happened to catch her in a moment of weakness

not in the original ddlc either-- the mc has a very lukewarm response when she tells him she’s woken up on time for a few days in a row, which he wouldn’t/shouldn’t have had if he had known. it was always part of the game plot for mc to learn about sayori’s depression onscreen

it makes sense sayori would have feelings for him, but it also seems like she doesn’t trust him very much-- in her “bottles of happiness” poem, towards the end she seems to talk about her friends being concerned for her, but she’s shutting it all out because she doesn’t want them to worry. the mc at this point doesn’t know she’s suffering. it seems like she’s had other friends who have actually noticed she was hurting-- whether those friends are the club members or not, iunno-- and that even though she does try to conceal it, she’s aware that they’re aware, y’know? mc had no idea, and seemed incredibly unequipped and unqualified to help sayori

while that sort of thing would be remedied in sayori’s route, he wouldn’t be spending as much time with her on the other girls’ routes... not to mention that dating someone can’t cure your mental illness, but mc seems exactly like the kind of person to think that it can. that’s just my Own Ape Canyon though

what i’m thinking is true end sayori doesn’t end up with anyone, and she’s okay with that. true end sayori is prioritizing herself and learning to deal with things healthily. she’s letting her friends help her, and she’s holding off on romance, because she acknowledges that if she isn’t careful, she might sacrifice her own well-being for her partner’s happiness.

natsuki:

fun fact: i didn’t know if the buffsuki edit was actually in the game or not for... up until a few days ago. i had no idea if it was from some kind of joke ending, or if it was fanmade. i was pretty disappointed to learn it was the latter i wanted to watch her physically break out of the game with her giant rippling muscles

now while the main topic is the true end, i’d actually first like to discuss what a full natsuki route would be like

i think that natsuki’s route would be furthest from a good end without being a bad end, tbh

i don’t think her route would be a total disaster, mind you, but i don’t think it’d be a happy end. i think you’d end up dating her, which would make it an unhappy end

see the thing about natsuki is: she’s only got a small handful of friends, she’s used to being made fun of, she immediately gets prickly when sayori brings mc in, specifically saying that the mc being male is killing the vibe-- meaning, she probably doesn’t have any male friends... leaving her dad as probably the only man she interacts with

in other words, she avoids men because of her dad

so when mc shows up, is friendly, doesn’t make fun of her, and he’s the only male figure in her life that she feels remotely safe around, it’s no question she’d probably... maybe... develop feelings for him...?

of course! yes, of course, because natsuki is VERY HETEROSEXUAL, and she likes BOYS! this is proof! most boys, she can’t stand em, but this one was nice to her, so of course she’s got a crush on him right?

in case you’re missing my heavy sarcasm, i’m saying natsuki is a lesbian with compulsory heterosexuality issues and due to said issues convinces herself that she’s romantically interested in mc, because he’s the first boy she’s met who hasn’t treated her like shit

hence making the natsuki route a pretty unfortunate one, since like i said i think you really would end up dating her, at least for most of it. maybe the end would be something like her moving away or something leaving the relationship sort of Over without actually having a breakup, i dunno

oh by the way: do you want some evidence for natsuki lesbian? oh there’s plenty but i’m gonna wait a moment for that one. i’m also not gonna go into natsuki’s true route for now, you’ll see why soon

yuri

and by soon

i mean now

i don’t have any thoughts on what yuri’s route would be so we’re gonna go right into discussing the true end

so, here’s a little something:

monika also exaggerated the turbulence in natsuki and yuri’s relationship

once again, in the original ddlc-- the part you can actually see, after you delete monika, the two are actually pretty close! they do butt heads occasionally but in the one instance you get to see in the original ddlc, they made up very quickly

monika also modified a lot of their lines in the Big Argument they have in act 2, which has both of them saying a lot of shit they wouldn’t have even thought, much less say aloud

the reality is, though, that natsuki is actually very fond of yuri

the amy in this poem is two people, depending on how it’s read: natsuki or yuri

when amy is natsuki, it’s a poem about how her own harmless interest in manga causes her to be made fun of or insulted

when amy is yuri, it’s a poem about... well, her self-harm, but a lot of yuri’s traits/interests could apply as well

and when amy is yuri, you can see a lot of information about natsuki and yuri’s relationship in this poem. natsuki doesn’t hate yuri, of course-- remember that this poem is meant to point out how dumb it is to hate someone for one tiny trait when all of their other traits are that of an all-around nice person

first 3 lines of the second verse. just take a real long look at those

here’s another poem!

this is the poem natsuki writes if 2 or less of the poems mc writes in act 1 don’t appeal to her. this makes it fairly clear the “you” in the poem isn’t mc

the “you” is someone, though

yuri.

it’s yuri. the poem is about yuri.

by the way, if all 3 of your poems did appeal to natsuki, the poem she writes is nowhere near as BLATANTLY ROMANTIC as this one is. it most certainly doesn’t say anything about kissing

btw hey did you know that “yuri” also refers to lesbians

once again i think it’s probably obvious what i’m getting at here: the true end for natsuki and yuri is the two of them dating. hell, i’m pretty sure part of the route would involve mc and monika trying to play cupid-- monika is the one who tells you who your poem appeals to, after all, so why wouldn’t she try some matchmaking for her pals?

i imagine they do still have little spats every now and then, sure, but they’d learn to respect each other’s opinions long before they’d start dating, and the fact that they’re both passionate is what makes them work. while their writing styles are almost polar opposites, that just means they have a lot to learn from each other and could balance the other out when they take their style to an extreme that makes it hard to understand what they’re trying to get across, and i’m certain they could make a kickass story together

anyways, that’s all i’ve got to say for now, partly because i spent four fucking hours writing this post and partly because i gotta get back to staring into monika’s eyes. i added the monika after story mod because i cycled through all of her available dialogue in the vanilla game. i just want to be friends with her so bad

#doki doki literature club #ddlc #ddlc monika #monika ddlc #ddlc spoilers #i'm just tagging monika because most of this post is about her specifically #i do talk about the other girls too though #long post. like super fucking long. i went apeshit

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