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washeduprockstr · 2 months

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Codebreaker is so epic and weird I like it

grins

the way this is written very familiar to me..........

anyway eheheh i like being silly and doing whatever the fart i wanna. so happy you like it! more to come for sure :] im super surprised people enjoy it at all, thought id get immediately ostracized for shipping a dude w the virus vers of himself

#starmail #truth be told #i (kas introject)#used to hate the guy #with a passion #then i met someone who kinda changed my worldview a little #god.#now I cant get it out of my mind ever #and i am a very #very #self indugent person #soo #yknow #cant say that posting this stuff doesnt make me nervous #though #on like a seperate note #don't rlly wanna be cancelled bc i find a personal interest in it #as a real. guy

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avocado62524 · 1 month

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#im lazy as hell #4 boxes in i lost my mind hahaha #megastar #im rewatching g1 #ill draw better latee trust me #i just need to learn how to draw #hes supposed to be kissing the gun i uhhhh couldnt portray that so take my word for it #maccadam #transformers #anyways how yall nerds doing? i found my megatron figurine that survived getting ran over by a car. hes on my desk now.#anyways on the topic of g1 WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO????#you ever see some shit like damn i hope you two die together #they give me secondhand cringe. head in hands i cant be near these deranged mfs #5 years ago ppl tried to pressure me away from this ship lmao #megatron #starscream #dawg im being ran through by my workload.#wanna hear another very real problem i have? so im a starscream fan since i was like 7. always a ss fan #and one time when i was a teen my mom accidentally ran over my megatron toy with her car so i begged my parents for a model kit #ss was out of stock for years so i got tc. i bought that for $24 and it was all chill #recently i was thinking i want the entire dumbass squad. all 3. i checked the price #$58??? MINIMUM???? AVG PRICE IS 70???? for HIM???#so what i need yall to do is i need a recs so i can infiltrate hasbro and character assassinate ss so bad the merch price drops back to $30 #for the small cost of 20 rec letters i promise to destroy the franchise. how about it? then we can all get merch for better prices. cool!#or we can start a gofund me and raise millions so i can become an investor and tell them to lower prices from outside the club #maybe i should email the board. some shit like hey i was planning on having kids but i cant if the toys cost as much as the hospital bill #can you lower the prices so i can buy my future kids toys so i can indoctrinate them like my dad indoctrinated me to become a lifelong fan #sincerely. two generations of TF fans (your franchise isnt that old yet and i hope my kids can afford to be the third gen)

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im-smart-i-swear · 4 months

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can you remember being born? were you born at all

#my art #kuron vld #vld kuron #vld #this is sorta a companiom piece to the haggar one i posted recently #also. just now realising the perfect timing of posting that drawing on MOTHERS DAY of all possible days #i swear i didnt plan that. didnt even cross ny mind?? but its neat ig #this drawing is pretty simple but i really like how it turned out!!!#it was meant to evoke those infographics of human fetus development #its wrong. there should be middle stages between a fetus and a fully grown adult man. but theres nothing there.#like. he had no childhood or anything. he just woke up as a full ass guy. theres no middle point between a mindless clump of cells and him.#no infant. no child. no teenager. just kuron.#this is wrong and unnatural and it shouldnt have happened but it did #the part of him that looks the most alive is the bloody arm. his life depends on it. hes nothing without it.#sigh. i have so much to say abt this piece and i feel like its pretty barebones and simple tbh #but i still cant put into words what i mean!!!!! i am trying and failing!!! argghhhhhhhhg. whateverr #i have THOUGHTS about this but a weird ramble is all youre gonna get folks. maybe one day il write a small coherent analysis of this thing #he will never escape haggar. he was not meant to. hes asleep and clueless and hell never wake up #he wont ever become more than what was planned for him. and he doesnt even know #blood #gore #i guess. not really gore. more like viscera and flesh?#kuronposting

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lunarharp · 7 months

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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

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greasydumbfuck · 2 months

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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)

#marvel #frank castle #the punisher #not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense #hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like #so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw #where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway #like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL #but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn #theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it #hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much #like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit #is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now #so many fun ways to interpret this #<guy who is not having fun interpreting this #wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough #god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only #i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling

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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months

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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

#cats #love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed #Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor #I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase #looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me #a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful #I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold #and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only #concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other #less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need #background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something #and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav #orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I #love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac #is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless #you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t #he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol #One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic #to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat #had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything #about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able #to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat #basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp #and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh

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skunkes · 4 months

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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accidental-spice · 5 months

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In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"

#at least im 90% sure she said that once #anyways it sucked. a LOT #i i paid for something i shouldnt have causing my boss to have to reimburse me and they were. less than pleased #and like i get that i should have communicated better but maybe so should you guys?#i dont know. i think im not completely in the wrong about this but its hard to tell right now #i just want to cry and not think about it ever again #at the moment only one of those is happening #i just. it cant have been ENTIRELY my fault #and i honestly dont know why its such a big deal #but my boss and i have VERY different minds #uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh #i feel like everything turned out fine but i also feel like its all my fault and everything sucks #and maybe i should stand up for myself but. i do. not. want. to #i KNOW im gonna say my thoughts on it and theyre gonna say something else and ill be like uuuuhhhhh #sure yes whatever im clearly wrong #sigh

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fisheito · 7 months

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I am currently going thru every chapter from the beginning so i can gather screenshots of everyone's emotions

Even tho i BET one of u hyperfixators already has an entire library all cleaned and ready for use

But i'm gettin some fun outta reliving the old days so who am i to deprive myself of some choice🤌👌nostalgia

#i was brainwashed by the yakumond core. i thought they were always peaceful and sweet together #LIES. LIES FABRICATED BY OWN WISHFUL THINKING. yakumond's first meeting was a Fight ready to break out #yakumo going DONT BULLY EIDEN and edmond going BITCH DO NOT GET IN MY WAY #and eiden going GIRLS GIRLS PLEASE LET'S ALL JUST BREATHE AND CALM DOWN OK??????#it pays off to revisit canon #my mind warped yakumo into the softiest squoshiest nothingbaby in canon's absence lol #i forgot that he actually stood up for eiden this early in their relationship. and so vehemently too #also now that everyone is fully voiced i can train my vocal...identification?!#i rly cant tell the difference between voices well. i try to guess who says nucarnival! on the game's opening screen #i can only ever pick out aster 🫢🫣💦

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jrueships · 2 months

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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game

#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just #idk #it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like #clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong #venting LMAO #and just genuine sorrow for urself #over a Digital Game #i just cant srry #maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting #syndrome #and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too #but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin #i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it #idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience #so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all #but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing #but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind #bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance #and the advancing is just not happening #i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either #Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree #i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin #but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that #anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus #the neverending story #DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain

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ableedingpromise · 2 months

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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????

#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird #like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it #are u fucking insane #doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that #and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf #what about how u treated me from ages 13-16 #freak #i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl #person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw #fuck u #last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not #hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi #i want to cut so bad bro #but i promised myself i wont so #i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver #just remembered her reaction to me cutting #nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no #i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care #useless mother #im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least #at least stop trying to confront me like this #just let me rot in peace #i really dont want to do this anymore #any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now #as if that isnt insulting #and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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#no but i actually hate that i made this blog to vent freely bc i have no other place to talk abt anything or my feelings or thoughts #and im a very isolated person and a shut in and i dont have a job or go to school successfully and i dont know anyone #like blah blah. i have struggled and im drowning in them all. like why the fuck cant ppl just comprehend that we all have different views o #life and the world? like 'wallowing' is .. i have heavy anxiety which is completely untreated and it gives me real bad suicidal ideation #if me complaining on a blog that im btw not forcing anyone to read helps me to stay alive and get my pain out... why does that matter to #other ppl?????? like why does other ppl get so mad seeing someone they dont know vent??#also this goes for everyone but u can literally have no idea abt all of a person's life #esp on here where all u see is like my text posts where i vent abt how i FEEL. bc i want to. ??? i want to do that so i do #u dont know the context u dont know my experiences or what has happened in my life or context #u dont know what has transpired between me and other ppl i vent abt #like u know fuck all. u dont have the right to pass judgement onto a stranger that doesnt even know u exist #and even if i complain on here bc i dont have a real life but i want to #u have no idea what im doing with the rest of my time???? im making lists im trying to look up info abt school and programs #im trying to read abt my mental health issues and im doing mindfulness and im going to the gym #i am trying!!! and u dont have any idea what i do or how i try and u dont have any right to judge me bc all u see is one part that is me #complaining bc this is what i use this blog for. genuinely i do not get why this is even a big deal or why anyone would follow or read smth #makes them irritated???????#idk.. i dont wanna disable anons and stuff (bc funnily enough no one ever says this stuff with their url 🤨) bc i dont wanna miss out on the #stuff but it is infuriating that i have nowhere to go no friends no therapist etc etc to talk #and this is all i have bc i want to vent !!!!!!! and then i have to be like ok now other ppl i dont even know #and who dont actually give a fuck abt me are gonna judge me and tell me im living incorrectly #and ive never gotten more such things than now? why do y'all hate that i vent abt losing out on my 1st love #and feeling heartbroken?????? what the fuck? that has nothing to do with anyone else but me? like genuinely wtf #i just wanna vent bc i feel like im drowning but now i feel like i cant bc ppl just judge and like ugh

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obiwan-kenobabe · 3 months

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I hate being poor I hate the economy I hate classism I hate money I wish anything was doable and affordable and I didn't have to cry because I can't afford basic needs

#im very much at a breaking point at trying to get better but i cant do that when i cant afford anything #i hate being so frustrated i cry #i hate having to bargain and barter and just try to make ends meet #i dont need a haircut and i dont need to go out with my friends i dont need anything that brings me joy!!#i just need to be able to get better and not feel like this anymore!!!#she said facetiously!!!!#clearly i need to spend every cent ever on just my basic needs and never anything fun #getting healthcare and therapy is a much smarter way to spend money!!!!#the rage im feeling right now is a lot #i just want things to change but not be able to afford it and knowing nothing will change is a gut punch #dont mind me

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shhh-secret-time · 6 months

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To be honest, stardew valley has me in such a chokehold. It always has, even before the 1.6.

In such a way that my brain wants to smash my hyperfixation into it. So late at night I'll be awake thinking of this stardew/south park mashup.

Call that bad boy Star Park AU.

But no brain! Bad! We already have too much going on! You have a Secret Soulmate AU. Fantasy AU, A Cowboy AU story staring Kenny that's still in the outline phase, and these one shots!

(Look at the tags to watch me descent into madness)

#like C'mon #it would be so cute and wholesome #ya know #everything south park isn't #its not my fault I think about me and my friends ocs starting a little farm together #i got one friend I rp with #we smash everything into our stardew rp #it ain't even really stardew besides like the layout of the town #I could write something like that up #like Stan and his family are already “farmers”#the heart event where he tells you he fucking hates it #but next heart event he confesses he's starting to associate farming with you #and now...maybe its not so bad?#COME ON #Kenny taking Karen to see your animals and falling in love with the way you're so gentle with her #Kyle finding you passed out in the mines and scolding you for being careless #but he's patching you up while he does it!!!?#Cartman demanding you bring him crops from your farm because #“everyone elses crops taste like dirt and ball sweat! at least I can stomach yours.”#(its the sweetest thing hes ever said tbh)#tweek having his little coffee shop set up there #he gets away from his parents and moves out to the valley because its quiet!#Craig moves out there to study the stars because they're so clear he can almost see all of them without a telescope #Clyde is JUST Alex and you cant change my mind #after the death of his mother he goes to live with his grandparents #Bebe is like a mix of Haley and Emily!#her events would be you helping her get her outfit designs off the ground and using her photography skills to have you model them #Wendy's whole thing would her being the mayors assistant but over heart events you make her believe in herself #and she becomes mayor; fuck you lewis you old fuck #shhh its a secret

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falldogbombsthemoon · 4 months

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How can one stare at themselves in the mirror for hours and feel like they are the hottest mf on earth but as soon as a stranger looks at them, they feel like a shrinkled up pickle. Like God please.

#definitely not talking about myself #like maaaaan i wanna look fancy and shit but i cant stand people looking at me #someone glances at me for just a second and i feel like that person just threatened to beat the ever existing shit out of me #lets just say getting in a class full of judgemental teenage boys in 8th grade wasnt the best for my self-esteem :) haha :)))#i dont fucking feel comfortable anymore without a jacket dude #and i dont look bad. like ik that but for somereason im an anxious piece of shit #also haha lets see how imma get through fucking summer when i cant wear my jacket at all times #someone just delete grade 8 out of my mind and then put me in a new class and boom i wouldnt care at all #we just love all the wholesome humanity you get to experience as a short haired afab dont we? :)))#genuinely i want to live in my own world. which in my mind i very much do so thank whomever for creating imagination #if we were in the 1800s you could now call me romantic #or somrthing like that #we just started the romantic period in music and that shit catched me #as much as i hate my music teacher for being a complete fucking inhumane dickhead. i gotta like how fascinated he talks about that topic #oh but now hes competing with my biology teacher for the title of my very own personal wellbeing crasher #ive been yapping. im sorry. my mind is wide awake and i should be sleeping #tw vent #ig?#idk man my thoughts are a mess and i had to write them down bc i cant talk to myself rn #oh shut up already #quinns daily yapping post

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sovonight · 5 months

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;

#still thinking abt that scene in the underdark where xan is (force) propositioned by that drow lady #and while his first response is shock/apprehension ('*me*??')#radri loses regulation over the volume of her voice going 'what?! no!!' louder than anyone's ever really heard her before #when challenged though she can't come up with a drow-valid reason why hunrae *can't* just take xan #(yes i just now remembered her name lmao)#the thoughts 'bc consent??' 'he'd hate that' '*he's mine he promised*' keep getting translated into an ineffective verbal 'you just cant'#so xan saves himself and falls into a worse mood after it and radri falls into an equally poor mood at how she couldnt do anything/she can #never really do anything can she #oh but there's a kind of equivalent/reversal moment when radri's offered a 'night with one of with phaere's males' as a reward #and xan is just silently panicking/trying to reassure himself with 'she wouldn't' 'she'd hate that' 'she loves me... right?'#radri honestly has an easier time with the excuse this time bc she's not feeling as much panic/pressure as earlier #but the excuse that comes out is along the lines of 'uh monogamy is custom in my city and i already have a male--'#'NO no not one of these guys in my party!! (don't look too closely at them!)'#'i prefer not to travel with him! to make the reunions sweeter...??'#xan's mind catches on 'i prefer not to travel with him' and he gets in a bitter mood bc that might as well be true--#bc really what use is he when he can't even do anything to help/save/protect her despite being right by her side #the underdark has them both on an internal monologue of 'i hate this' but while xan's is mainly towards their surroundings #radri's is almost entirely inward & so isnt eased the moment they reach the surface like xan's is #xan x radri

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