#like Stan and his family are already “farmers”

[shhh-secret-time]

To be honest, stardew valley has me in such a chokehold. It always has, even before the 1.6.

In such a way that my brain wants to smash my hyperfixation into it. So late at night I'll be awake thinking of this stardew/south park mashup.

Call that bad boy Star Park AU.

But no brain! Bad! We already have too much going on! You have a Secret Soulmate AU. Fantasy AU, A Cowboy AU story staring Kenny that's still in the outline phase, and these one shots!

(Look at the tags to watch me descent into madness)

[thelastspeecher]

I’ve seen it pop up here and there but what is the accidental abduction au?

Ooh, I'm glad you asked!

The Accidental Abduction AU is one of my personal favorites, in large part because I feel like it's one of my more original ones.

A month or so after Stan gets kicked out as a teen, he's living in his car, and both he and the Stanleymobile are accidentally abducted by two alien teens playing with their spaceship's tractor beam unsupervised. The accidental abduction isn't discovered until it's too late to return Stan right away, and the aliens won't be back in Earth's solar system for another year, so Stan's basically told that he'll be living with the aliens who accidentally abducted him for a year.

At first, Stan's unhappy, as one would be. But he gradually comes to enjoy his time on the ship and eventually on the alien planet, and decides he wants to stay there. Permanently. After all, the aliens that abducted him (which he dubs the Roswells) are kind and warm and welcoming to him, treating him better than he was sometimes treated by his own family. And on this alien planet, he has a place to stay, some income (he helps out with chores and as a farmhand, because these aliens are farmer aliens), and is far away from all the horrible things that happened to him on Earth.

The aliens are more than happy to have Stan live with them permanently. Stan enrolls in alien school, gets a job working for the planet's intergalactic council, and marries and has children with the daughter of the family. But his happy life on a different planet is disrupted when his estranged twin shows up in an old security drone that was activated when Ford explored a crashed spaceship belonging to the alien species Stan has integrated with.

I have to describe the aliens a bit here. They're super tall (seven feet is considered below average), all sorts of fun colors, and have teeth that basically look like those of an anglerfish. Thin and needlelike and very scary. Their home planet, Kepler-62f (though humans haven't discovered it yet for most of the AU, so it just goes unnamed in stuff I've written), is Earth-like but colder. Stan struggles with the cold a lot. And he dubs the aliens "Frosties" due to their giant stature and fondness for cold.

Stan has to come up with names for the aliens because humans do not have the appropriate vocal cords to pronounce their language. So he's eventually able to fluently understand, read, and write in it, but has to use a translator thing whenever he talks to be understood. To get around this, Stan gives the Roswells, as well as any alien he's in regular contact with, an Earth nickname. The two alien teens that accidentally abducted him were a twin brother and sister that Stan dubs Luke (though it's misheard as Lute) and Angie. The parents of the family, he dubs Merle and Sally.

The only Roswell Stan doesn't give an Earth nickname is the second-youngest son, because he's studying on Earth, and has already come up with one. That alien winds up being none other than the roommate to Stanford Pines.

I think that's about as long of a summary as I'm gonna give; if you want specifics, I'm always down for asks! And here's my tag for this AU on my blog and the tag for it on my writing blog.

[arcplaysgames]

Back in P4G. Yukiko's whole thing seems to be that she's so anxious about her family's inn that she misses a lot of social cues, especially ones she doesn't want to deal with right now, like romance. Also, this dude from another school just showed up to ask her out??? Where the fuck is there even another school around here?

Don't go to a second location with strangers.

I've lived in these exact types of small towns, lmao. They call it a suburb but it's very rural. If you have a fucking field and multiple farmers around, that's a rural town.

holy shit chie. i'm trying to give you a fair shake here but damn. Punching people in the nuts and asking invasive questions and revealing your best friend has never had a boyfriend is a LOT.

It's very odd but even though everyone here is around the same age as the P3P cast, Chie strikes me as emotionally much younger. But hey, I was harsh on Yukari in P3P and got schooled when she turned out awesome. I got hope for you, Chie.

Okay so. School was let out suddenly because a murder. ALSO THE BODY WAS HANGING FROM A TELEVISION ANTENNAE. And come to find out, it was the local reporter who's embroiled in some... local... scandal thing? (If this game expects me to care about a councildude who did an affair, idk man, i just work here.)

[CARTOMANCY CORNER]

She was hung upside down. Interesting. As a Hanged Man Stan, I have to say that the card is often about a willing sacrifice. You are suspending yourself in an inverted state in the hope of having some sort of epiphany brought on from the new perspective. It comes at a significant risk though, as you may be dooming yourself to death or madness by taking that chance.

While the Wheel of Fortune is about fate being kind or cruel, Hanged Man is about taking the dice in hand and rolling them. I don't know if this lady was an investigative journalist, but if she happened to place herself in a dangerous situation in the search for a scandalous truth and died for it, that's Hanged Man to a T.

[/CARTOMANCY CORNER]

Anyway.

This shot is pretty.

Went to the shrine and it told me to get the fuck out. Hey, rude.

...

Well at least he let me ride on his bike, that's cute. I can't tell if I like Yosuke (not Yusuke, I guess that's ANOTHER Persona character, whoops) or if I just really like his voice acting. Hard to tell.

After class he invites me out for grilled steak as thanks and uh

This is entirely my damage of coming from an incredibly food-insecure upbringing, but man, what the fuck, Chie. You already KICKED HIM IN THE NUTS, you don't get to extract more concessions.

Okay, do I like Yosuke, or do I get Cheerful Bully vibes from Chie? HM.

also yukiko you're like 16, please don't even step on a weight scale, goddamn. send me back to Iwatodai, please. I think P4 has mentioned girls' weights more already than in the entirety of P3P.

Anyway, Yukiko is off to work on her very concerning teenage eating disorder while Yosuke takes everyone to the local...

Junes is easy to dismiss as a Japanese Walmart--

wait. i have to google something right now.

Okay, Walmart tried to move into the Japanese market by purchasing a chain called Seiyu, but as of 2020 they are almost entirely out of the game, sold most of their shares, and apparently they just don't do well in non-American markets. Interesting to know!

ANYWAY MY POINT WAS, Junes is less Walmart and more Target-meets-Costco. A very pleasant place to shop with good marketing and food provided on-site, but also still undercutting and screwing the local businesses. Yosuke works for TargetCo. Costget.

also Chie complains that Yosuke changed the plan from grilled steak to food court and I'm plastering on a smile and chanting give her a chance, we are less than two hours in here.

Saki works here too, she's "senpai" so I assume a senior, and Yosuke's got a transparent crush and she is Not Interested. Also the vibes are Bad, like she can tell Yosuke is a good guy but his business is putting her family's liquor store in jeopardy, so.

Man, remember when my group drama was whether Junpei and Akihiko could successfully talk to girls at the beach? Man. 😬😬😬

Saki comes over to basically neg Yosuke???? So our man Reverie asks her if she though Terezi and Vriska were pale or black or red until she leaves, saving the day. Phew.

Aaaaaaand here we go. Some PLOT. Thank you god. Everyone agrees to try the Midnight Channel thingie.

Did this game have these anime cutscenes originally? I avguely remember them but not how LONG they are. Were these repurposed from the anime or made bespoke? Anyway, they look great.

Saki is on the Midnight Channel, and then our heroic dumbfuck almost gets eaten by the TV.

good job, idiot.

[drawnaghht]

a reply to @freakova's tags on this post

#this would be a really nice ending honestly#cause YEAH why happened to his parents what gives they’re Usagi’s too#and the fact that auntie adopts the kids it shows how family can be found#+Yuichi know got lil sisters#He’s all about family (miyamoto and auntie) they could have explored it even further

same! would like to know more!!!

we never really touched on Usagi's backstory besides that his parents entrusted auntie with taking care of him, so I often wonder, if the show had been given a longer episode run, like maybe 30, 40, maybe even 26 instead of 20 - could we have seen more character backstories in general? Cuz there's also Kitsune, who's backstory we don't know at all, and then Gen and Toshiko, who we see explain their story a bit in bits and pieces through-out the 2 seasons. The fact that Usagi immediately goes back to his auntie, because he knows Hana would be safe from the ninja there, says a lot about how much he trusts his auntie. like the show makes it feel like he might actually be the most fleshed-out of all the characters, but his story is hidden almost as much as Kitsune's. I sorta get the reasoning there - their personalities already serve to tell their story a lot, Usagi is a big fan of his own ancestor and idolizes him, while Kitsune is a street-thief and grifter before we see Usagi bump into her puppet-cart and ruin her evening plans. The audience can get a lot of info out of just context-clues, but Kitsune and Usagi are also characters who are most easy to read at first, so we don't get their backstories really explored or opened the same way as Chizu or Gen, because, I can only guess, those stories don't seem to directly tie into the two larger arcs shown during the 10+10 episodes. But lol, would still like to know more, where are the activity books and character pages? a little side novel maybe? why did the age of flash games with extra info have to end before this show aired lol, if only Netflix spent money on that sort of stuff too, maybe we'd have more info besides just the shows on their own 😂😂😅

More theories and rambling below :D

My theory about Usagi's parents is that they died in one of the wars mentioned by some of the older characters in the show :) Cliche, I know! but it seems to sorta make sense. Could have been many other reasons too of course! Maybe they went to the city to find or do something related to the family business or history, but found their end somehow. One of my other theories is that there were gang wars in Neo Edo, around 10-14 years before the series starts. Maybe they found their end there? We don't even know how old his parents would have been, but judging by auntie's look and how she speaks and acts, maybe she's like, around 60-ish? she has raised her nephew for 15 years, meaning since she was around 45, so maybe her sister/brother would have been around 35-40 something when they died. I personally headcanon that it's his mom, who is the Miyamoto family member here, so maybe his dad really was a farmer by birth and thus, the family did not have a name anymore (they've always preferred staying in hiding after Miyamoto died) and that's why they gave him the name Yuichi Usagi with meaning... related to that earlier Senso-connected theory I had ^^;

The "big" wars, mentioned by Lady Fuwa and Armiral Nochi, being recent makes sense tho. bc even though a 1000 years have gone past and Edo (our real-world Tokyo) in this world has been able to embrace some more advanced tech (courtesy of the Ki-stone), perhaps even alien tech, depending on how you view what happened with Miyamoto Usagi in the show's past, some of the culture and tech has sort of stayed in the Edo period. This is mainly because the show creators and staff wanted to keep both Edo sensibilities as well as modern tech and create an interesting fusion on an artistic and story level. One of the older interviews from last year mentions that the crew was inspired by Stan's 2015 story Senso - that what if Edo got to take all that alien tech and use it for themselves? From one of Stan's answers in this 2022 Popverse interview:

"They took one of my stories – Senso, a miniseries I did where Martians invade feudal Japan – and wondered what if they took some of the technology they got from those Martians, how would it affect their society generations down the line?

That was the premise, with the story taking place in a city called Neo-Edo; with Edo being the old name for Tokyo, the capital of Japan. It also takes a lot from Japanese culture, such as vending machines, pachinko parlors, karaoke bars, and things like that. It integrated everything, the old and the new, and I’m quite happy about that."

So the wars would make sense to be more recent because to me, it seems that maybe with this tech, from a story-world level, they should be further along the line than having just flying cars and airships, right? But wars are one of those things that always and if Edo didn't have those outside influences that we had, maybe they wouldn't have some things, i.e. we don't see phones or trains on the show vs the phone boom we had in the 1980s in the real world and the hi-speed train rails japan is known for now. So they probably would have also missed out on the 60s Space Race between the US and the Soviet Union, which popularized the 1960s "space age aesthetic" for example, which is what we might think of when trying to remember 60s tech and fashion. So the show creates its own retrofuturism in trying to consider all these different elements.

(images from Flickr, Lehza Vintage)

(from The Rake, The Olympians)

I wonder if they even considered some cultural things that stuck and became popular before and after the US occupation, such as baseball Harley Davidsons and jazz - what would those be like in the world they created around the city of Neo Edo?

(from AnotherDesignBlog, Eiko Hanamura on League of Extraordinary Cosplayers, Sally the Witch on Wikipedia, 60s Vintage MENKO on eBay)

We see some semblances of what we could call western influences in how Gen installs new kitchenware in episode 5, how Kitsune looks like she could be a 1970s Harajuku girl, how Admiral Nochi and the Bat Squadron dress etc. It's an interesting balance throughout the show and thinking about it more just makes me more curious about it haha.

Maybe what happened with the Makkine a 1000 years ago is that a few sentries arrived with Kagehito's ship. Because of the surprise Kagehito expresses about the makkine warbotto self-replicating in the present (the s2 warbotto ep), we can surmise that they didn't back then, so they didn't replicate. Did they leave any ships? In the first season, Kagehito's ship is underground and covered by hundreds of years of rubble and rock. The Mogura Gang helping him then, actually find gold before they find his ship. So if any ships did come through with him those 1000 years ago, it seems that they did not "park" into the same place, or, likely that whatever happened, they were used up by locals.

The show is also quite fast-paced in reality, as we can see from how each episode jumps from POV to POV, or topic to topic and we get a lot of info in a short time, so to me it seems that the story crew REALLY crunched every bit of important info, story or jokes into the episodes, but just, didn't have more time to show or do anything about Usagi's parents.

lol what I'm doing to avoid more brainworms like this is to.... I guess continue writing my fanfic where I try to solve this (the main storyline from the comic i posted haha), but I also realized while writing this... I am waiting to see if I can get one of the new books coming out this or next year that bridges the stories/worlds between Yokai Hunter and Space Usagi, to see if there might be some new connections to be from there about Space Usagi in general, but maybe there could be something there nodding back to SR as well? maybe the new character is inspired by that or somehow bridges those things? lol a fan can hope ;D

[reikamoew]

About the added pages of 139

(Spoil alert)

I know people freaked out about Jeankasa ended up together after Eren’s death. Isayama is pulling a lame Titanic on Eremika. Mikasa was young when Eren died and she always wanted a family. That’s why she married Jean, had kids, and grand kids, but her heart belongs to Eren, as you can see she still wore that  scarf as an old grandma.  

Take a close look at 139. In Mikasa’s final panels, she was alone, telling Eren that 104 were going to visit him soon. In Jean’s final panel, he looked freshly groomed. Pieck asked Jean whom he was going to impress, to which Jean hesitated and said some random woman on the island. Sure, Jane. That’s Isayama paving way for future Jeankasa. But as I said, that’s part of Eremika’s Titanic plot.

I’m a Levi stan. Will Isayama pair Levi with a woman in the same way in added pages? Arnnie? Pieck? Historia? A farmer girl? Hahahaha hella no. Again, take a look at 139. Isayama has already given Levi a family: Onyankopon (friendship)+two kids (family love). Levi’s age, the wheelchair, his facial scar, broken eye ... that’s Isayama killing off any possibility of Levi’s new romance. 

According to leaks, Levi died at an old age. I’m happy for him (update: this one  proves to be fake. There is no mention of Levi in added pages. My man might have died at an early age. We don’t know).

Like I predicted, Isayama left Levi alone. Levi’s ending in 139 has already given us critical clues about the rest of his life and the love of his life. 

Here: https://qr.ae/pGng3K

I highly recommend this Quora answer, a detailed analysis of Levi’s romance based solely on manga proof, as well as the writer’s reply about the message of Levi’s ending.

[darkative2]

I liked Eremika, but this ship has become very toxic and meaningless to me. I would have preferred Erehisu to be a canon than to see all the terrible things they did to Mikasa and Historia. They were wonderful characters, it is so unfair and horrible what the author did with them. It doesn’t make any sense for Ymir Fritz to be in love with that king, he just manipulated her, made her life hell and never cared about her. Ymir never had any reason to love that king. Eren cried so much, blamed Reiner and the other citizens of Marley for the death of his mother, he revolted, and in the end he himself was the one who killed his own mother. And now besides necrophilia it seems that Eremika is zoophilia too? This chapter is so disgusting and sickly that I want to throw up. Historia deserved to be happy with someone who really loved her, Isayama made the poor girl marry someone abusive that she never loved and had no developed relationship. Mikasa never got over the past and apparently will live his entire life in this obsessive addiction for Ereh. These characters deserved a more dignified ending. Even Jean seems to have overcome his feelings for Mikasa and decided to look for a new love. I didn't care about ships anymore, I just wanted amazing characters like Mikasa and Historia to have dignified and respectable endings

same anon, ive like dropped the ships just to find more meaning in this shit of an ending. but ofc as an EH stan, i support that EH makes more sense cuz of a shit ton of evidences, but nooo some readers just shrug it off and for some reason Historia got sidelined and the connections between Eren and Historia went kapoof in mid to almost end of the Rumbling.

anyway, back to the whole thing. Mikasa and Historia are both great characters in their own ways, but Mikasa's development was not that shown meanwhile Historia's was more prominent but was thrown to the side when it was at its peak. these two FMCs deserved so much better.

Eren, on the other hand, was already well-written like Historia. but for some reason in the end, he was degressed back into a whiny bitch with a sudden romantic interest to his adopted sister (to top it all of, made an incel screech that made me show disgust irl). really don't know where that came from but oh well it is what it is.

regarding the necrophilia and zoophilia, i may not be an EM stan but imo that's pretty off from what is really happening on the manga. they're just mere symbolisms: the kissing is like just goodbye kiss for her lover (or in others' eyes as a non EM shipper, the only chance Mikasa can kiss Eren is when he is just a dead person, which is sad) while the bird was a symbol for freedom. and besides, Mikasa never showed romantic interest to a damn bird, so who thought of zoophilia?? please don't degrade them even more with those please

regarding Historia's new "family", we never saw the bastard farmer's face, so he stayed as a damn background all this time. never once was he depicted so close to the Queen like a loving husband. hell, he looked like just a mere caretaker lmao. also, Historia never smiled at him whenever they have a panel together. as long as Historia is happy with her child (whom she'll cherish and shower her love to from now on), that was fine enough for me (though i expected and wanted more tbh this damn additional pregnancy made no sense for the plot in the end).

in the end, a lot of stuff were left unexplained and didn't give enough justice for all characters. hope that everyone realizes that.

[jadepetals]

so this is part 4 of the fics that i've read and have stayed with me for a looong time. hope you feel the same way.

the beginning of everything / 30532 words

Harry is a struggling artist, in more ways than one, and Louis is a successful theatre critic and a failed writer, more or less.

Where I Should Be / 31324 words

Harry is getting married, Louis is in love with his best friend, and they only have this life to get it right.

From Eight Until Late, I Think About You / 35227 words

After finding out that his University of Brighton roommate has a YouTube channel, Harry starts up his own channel, on which he posts videos of himself doing weekly challenges. He strikes up a friendship with Louis, a popular youtuber in London, that starts in the comments on their videos and progresses to texting, skyping, and talking about each other in their own videos far too often. They fall for each other long-distance, but put off meeting face-to-face as long as possible, too nervous that they'll screw it all up.

all that remains / 40159 words

Harry has always written too many songs about him.

Breakable Heaven / 44594 words

“What do you think?” Louis gets captured by Harry’s green eyes, unable to look away or even take a breath.

“I think you’re the most magnificent creature I’ve ever met.”

“You must not have met many creatures then.”

Harry’s eyes glance downward to Louis’ lips and his tongue darts out to wet his own. “None like you.”

just a flicker in the dark / 57200 words

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles.

Like Real People Do / 58469 words

Harry is Louis' soulmate but Louis isn't Harry's - it takes Harry a while to figure it all out.

try not to remember (rather than forget) / 59602 words

Harry hadn’t left, not really. He had been right there the entire time. And that’s what had made it worse, knowing that his body was within touching distance but his mind, everything that made Harry Harry, was lost somewhere Louis wasn’t able to reach.

He hadn’t left, but that’s what it had felt like most of the time. Just as if one day Harry had up and left him.

Know I Think You’re Awesome, Right? / 60113 words

Louis is a hippie, very good vibes activist and Harry is a punk, anarchist that always gets involved in violent protests.

Such Good Luck / 66205 words

Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.

sleeping on our problems / 67426 words

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

From What I’ve Tasted of Desire / 71557 words

When Louis moves to the small Scottish town of Fortrose to spend some time with his father, he thinks he's come to terms with the fact that the next two years of his life will be rainy and dull. That changes when he meets the ever-elusive Harry Styles in his Biology class and he makes it his goal to find out the big secret surrounding him and his family. Louis unexpectedly finds himself in the eye of a storm of secrecy, age-old myths, friendship and romance.

We’ll Cast Some Light (You’ll Be Alright) / 74409 words

There’s a standard procedure for this. Scan, track, kill. But with a solar eclipse and a Greater Demon with unfinished business looming, the path to keeping England safe from harm becomes complicated and shadowed by mystery and secrets. For Harry and his team, times have never been harder, especially when a few old friends turned foes show up. Harry is left with just over forty days to overcome the hurdle of tension between them and reconcile their past, and figure out just what Louis is hiding from him before it’s too late.

 My friend lost a bet / 74975 words

Louis ends up on the list of potential fake-boyfriends for Harry Styles because Stan really sucks at football bets.

Swallow The Knife / 76178 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

Black with Autumn Rain / 93468 words

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

Runaway Land / 103610 words

Louis is sure he’s stumbled upon a secret, underground nightclub, though that is far from the truth. He’s also pretty sure he’s stumbled upon Apollo, which… isn’t very far from the truth, actually.

Next to your Heartbeat (where I sould be) / 130821 words

All it takes for them to fall in love is one night. All they have to do is wait one year to see each other again.

Yet, when Louis returns after his year abroad, the boy who's got his arms wrapped around Harry isn't him. It isn't a stranger either, which should make walking away all that easier. After all, friend's don't lust after their mate's boyfriends.

Technically, doing the right thing should be easy - but when has Louis ever been known to taking the easy way out?

Run Like the Devil / 139152 words

Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

Three Days in February / 187964 words

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

[orionangeline]

Ok that's it I'm fixing star wars: fix it HCs underneath

It's basically just my Shinobi retirement farm post but in space but idc

Most of ep 2 happens but Anakin doesn't kill Dooku

Since Dooku gets a fair trial the Jedi order realizes he kinda has a point about Yoda needing to retire

Yoda becomes the Jedi version of crazy grandpa like he should

Anakin still has Dooku's lightsaber after taking it from him in the fight and he dual wields it and his normal blue saber, signifying the balance in the force he is to bring about

Dooku obviously rats out Palpatine in exchange for a nicer jail

Anakin never turns so wholly to the dark side and instead makes the selection process for becoming a Jedi more stringent and also starts a policy of being brutally truthful of what a young Jedi might expect from the order, causing applications to plummet

He does it so less children will go through the emotional struggles he had to bc he was not a great fit for the order as it had been

He's definitely working on reforms with Obi-wan also though

Anakin and Padme realize that they are very different people from very different backgrounds and even though they love each other they divorce

Luke and Leia were already born by then but the whole family is still very tight knit, Anakin loves his kids soooo much it's cute

Obi-wan also loves them

Anakin and Obi-wan go on crazy adventures and are sarcastic Jedi Bros together

R2d2 as a crazy uncle who should probably not have been allowed to babysit but it worked out we Stan

The whole Jedi order captures Palpatine and "somehow" "in the commotion" he dies (tbh it was probably r2d2)

The clones are recognized as people and some retire to be, idk star wars farmers, and they all have their chips removed and fight freely for whatever cause they choose

Fast forward until Luke is training to be a Jedi

Leia keeps kicking his ass in training she's crazy it's hilarious but Luke now struggles with his pride

He almost goes to the dark side and runs away and meets a crazy smuggler team and tags along with them for a while

Han and Chewie are glad to have such a useful and mechanically inclined passenger (and Chewie thinks he's good luck) so when Padme has put out a reward for his return they don't turn him in

Luke realizes that he doesn't have to be either dark or light or a Jedi or politician at all he can just be a dude (an option he hadn't previously considered bc he grew up surrounded by Jedi and political powerhouses)

Eventually Luke has Han and Chewie take him home to have a serious discussion with his family about his wanting to be a pilot and just a pilot. A race pilot actually

Han and Leia of course hate each other at first sight but eventually warm up to each other. Eventually

Anakin has flashbacks to every time he's nearly crashed as he flew something and Padme has flashbacks to every time he DID crash

Ghost Qui Gon who just hangs out sometimes to tease Obi-wan has to step in and convince everyone to chill out bc there's like three separate arguments going on not including whatever Chewie's talking about and he doesn't have enough space ghost popcorn

Luke and Han become rival best friend racers and have so many near miss crashes Padme goes grey (serves her right considering her and Anakin made Obi-wan go grey forever ago)

Some time after Ben is born they all go on family vacation/paying Han's debts and meet Rey and they kidnap adopt her (She's secretly Han's favorite Skywalker) (bc Ben is a Solo so it's not a conflict of interest)

Also idk how but bb8 and d-0 are there too

Finn and Poe are also there and are not five feet apart. They race Rey a lot after she takes over for Luke. Ben is her manager and Han refuses to retire and also will not be forgetting this betrayal Ben

Yes Ahsoka is their favorite aunt always

Grogu still gets picked up by Din

Din and co (ex bounty hunter nanny bot included) get hired for race security/bodyguards for the drivers when bounties are slim

Yeah there have been a few attempts at race fixing but it usually ends up alright

Tbh Anakin is still the best driver but after having freaked out about Luke driving his pride keeps him from doing it semi professionally as a side gig

Jedi business has been slow ok and he's a Lil old now so he keeps getting assigned the easy stuff and he hates it

Sometimes he races under a pseudonym just for a lil rush

Everyone knows it's him but they don't mention it

Speaking of mentioning, did I say that they all live in one large compound? Bc they do and it's funny af

Which one of you brats ate Han's old man cereal this time?! (It was Luke)

Chewie did not expect to have so many human pets but they're pretty cute and funny so he's happy

Ngl Chewie is probably the only one who really knows what self care is and actually urges anyone else to do so

Like yeah Padme knows how to take care of herself but anyone with Skywalker or Solo lineage has no chill and no self preservation instincts. Han says he does but he is wrong

One winter they went on like a ski trip to hoth and got stuck for months. To pass the time Chewie taught everyone how to knit and also chess. Somewhere they have a knitted/crocheted chess set as a result. They all almost went even more crazy

Rey is no longer allowed to cook after she gave everyone including the robots somehow food poisoning with a birthday cake she tried to make

Ben can cook but only sad bachelor meals and very plain stuff

Luke has a short attention span so mostly if he says he "cooked" he actually microwaved it

Han can cook really well but only like three Fancy things he learned to seduce people

They rely on Obi-wan to cook but he can only make variations of oatmeal or soup

Can any of them cook?!? No. They have to hire a chef with Padme and Leia's girlboss earnings

The chef is jar jar binks

[howtosingit]

I haven't had a chance to fully dive into all the goodies last nights video has produced.. nor have I had a chance to read all your thoughts which you know I crave love . I was dumb and watched 3 911 episodes last night ignoring my ig notification that ronen had shared anything so then I had to go to bed bc of work and work has been crqzy. But anyways I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts and say Tarlos officially fried my brain and I really want to write in the spare time I don't have bc of work 🙈🙊 their soft smiles, kisses, possibly meeting the fam, their date (and let's be honest Carlos was hot as fuck sauntering up to the bar announcing he was tks boyfriend... you know someone got laid that night) sorry not sorry 🙈

Anyways hit me with your thoughts when you're free if you want ❤

LISTEN, LAUREN. I am always up to share my thoughts because they never end and they just keep coming and I have to unleash them somehow or I will definitely explode.

My brain was just like, ALL CAPS SCREAMING, for about 7 hours yesterday, so I’ll leave you to explore that hot mess on my blog if you want. 😅 But, in the time since, I’ve seen a lot of discourse and stuff about the moments that we’ve seen, so I’m going to use this ask as an opportunity to weigh in on everything under the cut...

FIRST, CAN I JUST SAY that at the moment that I am writing this post, we are still trending at #5 and we’ve been in the 4-7 range for at least the past, like, IDK, 18-20 hours maybe?! I LOVE THIS FANDOM AND HOW WE LOSE OUR SHIT AT THE SMALLEST THINGS

Okay, so let me go through this thing and comment on the parts, and then give some general thoughts below:

LOVE that this is a promo entirely about the LGBTQIA+ characters and characters of color. Not exactly surprised that they still tried to put as much Rob Lowe in it as possible (that’s Fox/the writers’ M.O. it seems - to squeeze Rob/Owen in whether he fits or not). Some of his comments were a little awkward, I thought (referring to Paul’s trans storyline as “stuff” makes me go 😬), but whatever. He’s not the point of all of this, so that’s the last I’m going to talk about him.

TOMMY VEGA. I AM READY TO STAN. I love Gina Torres, I already love how much heart and soul she is giving just in these quick peeks, I cannot wait to see her in action!

Also let me use this moment to say that while it’s obvious I’m not getting my Grace + Carlos friendship (that’s fine if it stays in fandom, I’ll live), I’m SO GLAD that her and Tommy are gonna be friends! One promo mentioned that Judd has known Tommy before, so it would not surprise me if they’ve been friends for awhile. LOVE THAT.

SPECULATION: This gives me a good time to just throw out a theory that I’ve been thinking about... We know Owen and Gwen are hosting Tommy at their place for a backyard dinner. I assume her husband may be there as well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Judd and Grace are there too. 

I ALSO would not be surprised if this is when one of the nights at Carlos’s place happens, like a parallel of the two dinner parties. That at least keeps every main character involved in both locations. We shall see though.

So this gathering at the firehouse seems like it’s going to be a pretty big scene, probably for episode 1. I think everyone’s gathered so that Owen can announce he’s in remission (we’ll hear him tell TK first, which is the hug that they share earlier in the trailer, I think). 

But this gathering also includes a Tommy/Grace moment, a Tarlos moment, the others doing other things kind of moments. It’ll serve the same purpose as a lot of the season 1 bar scenes, and I’m so glad they’ve moved those to the firehouse. I want that place to really start feeling like a home this year. 

(I want all of the locations to feel a little more grounded and special, if I’m being honest. Like, I’m SO GLAD that Carlos’s place is going to be a key location this season.)

There are now two instances of Carlos being next to Gwen (standing next to her while Owen makes an announcement and now sitting next to her at the table), so we better get some dialogue between them or I WILL BE SO UPSET. I WANT GWEN TO STAN CARLOS AS MUCH AS I DO.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THIS SCENE OKAY

TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS

Like, WTF is TK’s face in this moment?! He looks so shy and bashful but also so happy and mushy and soft and in love. And then the way that Carlos softens because of how soft TK look?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY AM I CRYING.

Seriously, I have to know what they’re talking about though to make TK fucking melt like that. 

Emergency stuff blah blah blah

TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS

IT’S SO FUCKING CASUAL AND PERFECT AND NATURAL AND LITERALLY JUST LIKE A “I came over to grab this food from you but since I’m here I might as well grab a kiss because I can’t help myself”

AND LIKE... Carlos just leans right into it?!?!?!? like it’s something that they do all the time?!?!?! WTF I LOVE THEM

Mateo watches this kiss and kind of looks like he was talking to Carlos, TK, or both of them, so I love that they’re like in the middle of conversation but still like “wait let me kiss my bf because he’s close by and so hot and I love him” SCREAMING

ALSO LET ME BE THIRSTY BUT CARLOS’S SHOULDERS AND BACK?!?!?! TK’S FUCKING ARMS?!?! I’M SO DAMN GAY

Speaking of arms: this rando bartender at the wrestling match (so Covid doesn’t last long on Lone Star, I’m assuming like 2 episodes maybe?) -- I love that they tried to put him in a tight shirt and make him look like a possible threat or something and I’m just like 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN CARLOS REYES BEFORE

AND THEN THE FUCKING GREEK GOD HIMSELF SAUNTERS UP WEARING A TIGHT FUCKING POLO - CHEST OUT, ARMS JACKED, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HIS DICK AND I’M JUST SCREAMING AT THIS POINT

BOYFRIEND 

BOYFRIEND

BOYFRIEND

But, like, seriously, there is no comparison. Carlos is fucking Hercules over here and this no-name wannabe boyband member could be a sand-colored rock for all I care. 

YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH CARLOS REYES, DON’T EVEN TRY IT

I do feel like these two clips (the calendar line and then Carlos’s line) are spliced together but they might not be back-to-back, and I would love to see how TK responds to the flirting before Carlos comes over

HIS FACE IS KILLING ME THOUGH WHEN CARLOS COMES UP

BLESS RONEN

I feel like I *think* I know what he’s thinking, but I also feel like I don’t. Certainly, the scene seems to end with them both smiling and happy, but I wonder if there will be a conversation about jealousy or something?! IDK BUT THEY’RE DEFINITELY GONNA TALK. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

Someone posted how happy TK is going to be to have a boyfriend who is committed enough to him to be jealous, unlike Alex who didn’t care and cheated on him. I certainly think this could be a great moment for them to establish what this new relationship means for them, and I’m excited to see what they writers have planned.

I JUST LOVE CARLOS REYES THOUGH OKAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

How many times is Fox gonna use that clip of him holding his gun though? We get it, he raises his gun. I’ve seen it like 7 times at this point. 

I’m not complaining, really. I’ll take his face where I can get it.

LOVING the Marjan clips

LOVING the Grace/Judd clips

LOVING the Paul clips

I LOVE ALL OF MY FAVES

CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM DEVELOP THIS YEAR

Hearing Rafa talk about using his voice and speaking for his community just slaughters my heart, I love this man so fucking much and I’m so happy to be discovering him at the start of his career because he is going to go on to do big things and make the world a better place with his positivity and light and love and I’m so excited to follow him on that journey I just love him okay

ALSO THE MAN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ARE THOSE ARMS I WANT TO DIE

THE FARMER’S MARKET SCENE

Are they shopping for food for the dinner party they’re hosting?! Maybe!

WE MEET SOME OF CARLOS’S PEOPLE

There is so much speculation surrounding who these two people could be, and I’ve heard some super interesting theories about Carlos’s backstory.

I’m gonna be basic though and stick with the fact that I think they’re his parents.

AND IF THEY ARE HIS PARENTS, THEY SEEM SO HAPPY TO MEET TK.

His dad/the man, like, shakes TK’s hand with so much gusto, a giant smile on his face

And Carlos smiles as he hugs his mom/the woman, and she’s smiling too

THEY ALL JUST SEEM SO HAPPY

I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AVOIDING THE HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS STORYLINE COMPLETELY

Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TRAUMA

I mean, I don’t know for sure, we’re going to have to wait for the episode. But god, do I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want their trauma, if they have to have it, to be separate from their sexuality. They’ve done so well with TK so far, I want the same for Carlos. Let the story be fresh, let it be different, LET US HAVE DIVERSE GAY STORYLINES.

Y’ALL THE TEAM HANGING OUT AT CARLOS’S PLACE

I CANNOT

I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT

HE’S PART OF THE CREW. HE’S PART OF THE FAMILY.

IT’S EVERYTHING THAT I COULD EVER WANT FOR HIM OKAY

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY

THEY ARE SO HAPPY

WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY

I’M CRYING

I’M DEAD

LOL that was a lot but so was this promo.

Now, some somewhat sobering thoughts...

We all know season 1 had a real diversity and inclusion problem, we’ve seen the numbers. We also know that during the promotion for season 1, we ALSO got a diversity promo focusing on the LGBTQIA+ characters and the characters of color. I love that Fox wants to highlight the incredibly talented actors and characters that they have, but all of it means nothing if they are still tokens on the show. 

I have full faith that season 2 will be better, that some of the justified anger and frustration made it back to the writers and they internalized it and then make some real changes. However, because we did get a diversity promo last year, I have to remain a little cautious. This promo doesn’t really mean anything and if, somehow, season 2 goes the way season 1 did, it will be another instance of Fox using the characters of color to draw people in without actually giving them screentime and development. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM. So... I’m very excited and very hopeful, but also slightly wary.

Similarly, I’ve seen people say that they’re worried that, while there is so much Tarlos in this promo, this might be all the Tarlos we get this season. I don’t share the same concern, but like the diversity issue, I understand where that comes from. There was a lot of Tarlos in season 1′s promos and, as we now know, they got screentime in episodes 1-3 and then virtually nothing until episode 10. 

I kind of lost track of the filming schedule, but I think before they went on the holiday/extended hiatus, they filmed the first 5-6 episodes? Maybe? And we know that we’re getting 14 total this season, which means it’s possible that they haven’t even filmed half of them. 

I think the footage that we got in this promo is from, like, 3 or 4 episodes max. Definitely episodes 1 and 2, maybe 4, possibly 5. The crossover is episode 3 and I am still expecting to barely see Carlos in it - I just think it’s going to be very fire heavy one, especially with the members of the 118 coming in to steal screentime. He could be in one scene, maybe? Idk, I’m just not expecting a lot from that episode. 

And sure, we could get a lot of Tarlos at the beginning and then nothing for a whole string of episodes, but that also just doesn’t seem possible with the way they’ve restructured the relationship dynamics. Like, it really does seem like Carlos is going to be a part of the family this year, so I think it will be easier to include him and harder to delete him entirely. (Please let him at least appear in every single episode, I don’t want to be so fucking angry like last year.)

Also, if all of these scenes stay in the episodes, we are getting AT LEAST 4 Tarlos conversations - the firehouse, the wrestling match, the farmer’s market, the flirting by the truck - and other scenes of them being in the same space as part of a group. I’m sure there will be even more that we’re just not seeing. I’m very optimistic for this season and for the Tarlos content, and I really don’t think we’ll see the front-loaded imbalance that we saw last season. I think when they get back to filming the later episodes, there will be a good amount of Tarlos content in those, too!

I will say, though, that I am worried we’ve just seen the only kiss that they’ll share in the first 5 or so episodes. I’m just so used to network TV placing a limit on gay kisses, and Idk how much that has really changed in recent years. I truly love this kiss, and I hope there are more, but I would not be surprised if we end the season having only gotten like 2-3. (PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG.)

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL WE FIND OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cherrytsukkis]

streaming minecraft with the first years

- word count: 1.4k

- characters: hinata, kageyama, tsukishima, yamaguchi, yachi

- a/n: i made half of this on mobile and half on my laptop so,,, also i got way too immersed in this bc all i do is play minecraft (even tho i suck) anyways, enjoy this mess!! also ty to ppl on the rircus rerver for helping me with minecraft usernames!!

tsukishima made a server for y'all after you bribed him (also some of his viewers begged him to)

kageyama and hinata teamed up and killed tsukishima, not even a minute in

and you were just there like “:o chat yall seeing this shit”

yall spawned in near a birch flower forest biome thingy and you and yachi bolted over there

you asked yachi to be your minecraft gf and she accepted

as soon as she said yes, kageyama and hinata killed tsukki again lmao

you and yachi moved to a different voice call bc hinata kept screaming about how tsukki was after him now

you guys began planning on having a cute little cottage core home together

you go mining while yachi makes a farm + gathers animals

yachi screamed of joy when she found a chicken family

she also screamed when she happened to find a pink sheep

you guys are just talking about random stuff and were just vibing for the rest of the stream

the next time you stream on the server, you see that yams made a cute little spawn place and yams took you on an adventure to go see his home in the snowy mountains

tsukki logged on and you and yams proceeded to go try to find his home despite tsukki tell you to fuck off

for some reason, he starts giving you guys clues on where he’s at

you’re all like “omg friendship 🥰″

but in reality, someone donated like 50 bucks for him to kill you and he’s taking this opportunity to lure you guys

 it turns night really fast and then a group of zombies gang up on you

you end up dying like four times before you baby rage and give up 

you leave the voice chat and go back to being a wee farmer waiting for your lover, yachi, to log on

instead of yachi, you get hinata </3

hinata logs on and he immediately calls you

“hinata-”

“y/n!!! do you wanna go to the nether with me!!”

“no ❤️″

you hang up but then he calls you again

“i’ll give you a two pigs, i know you and yachi are looking for some”

thirty minutes later, hinata has gotten you lost in a soul sand biome

only plus from this trip is that you got a lot of glowstone

you ended up having to call kageyama and ask him to come save you bc yams was mining god knows where and tsukishima would never help you bc he’s a bully <3

kageyama was calling both of you dumbasses in the vc

hinata bc hinata is hinata and you for following hinata blindly

then he got lost somewhere else in the nether <3

and now the three of you were fighting as you ran away from ghasts and skele bois

“it’s the short height for me”

“it’s the abandonment issues for me”

“it’s the need to one up each other in every situation because y’all insecure for me”

this whole time your chats were telling yall to just look at coords so you could find each other but you guys are illiterate </3

yachi finally logged on and joined your call and she saved yall bc she was watching your stream this whole time and was like wtf

the vc was SILENT as yachi led y’all to the nether portal

you muted yourself in shame and starting thanking recent subs and just the chat in general

everyone in chat: ugh we stan a dumb queen 🤩

another time you go on the server, hinata has accidentally started a war against tsukishima and so like every five minutes you would see smth like “tinysun was blown up by moonshima” or “moonshima was shot by tinysun using schlong” (yes hinata is that guy)

speaking of names

yall clown kageyama every five seconds bc he made his ign ‘Setter_soul_x’ (bc his streamer name was taken </3)

he gets pissed off a lot and leaves the server bc everytime you guys start a fight, someone will be like “okay Setter_soul_x”

yachi has “yacchan” meanwhile yams had “yamagucci” and you can can decide whether you have a clapped ign or not

now to just talk about general stuff

i feel like yams and tsukki would be those bitches who make exp farms and shit

like one day you’ll log on and you’ll ask them where they’re at and they’ll be like “oh we’re making an enderman farm in the end” or “we just finished a villager breeder” or some shit like that

yachi would stick to farming and being a cottagecore gay and you would be the one to do most of the mining and shit

sometimes she’d follow you when you go to fight someone or just bother them

hinata made a giant netherrack meatball at spawn and inside of it is just pure hell

everytime someone tries to go in it, they get blown up by a creeper or smth bc its so fucking dark in there bc the dumbass forgot to put some type of light source in there

kageyama’s house is just a cube-shaped hole he mined somewhere and everytime he wants more space he’ll just expand the cube

you and tsukki end up teaming up together at one point and made a railroad to everyone’s homes and to different biomes

when everyone fought the wither, tsukki, yamaguchi, and hinata did most of the work you and kageyama were far away watching like “damn thats crazy” (yachi wasnt streaming at the time and just told you guys she didnt care if you did it without her)

when it was time for the ender dragon, it was a whole different story

tsukishima and yamaguchi were hella prepared and were calmly going around destroying the end crystals while you, hinata and kageyama were just trying to get away from all the angry endermen

yachi was just placing water down and making cobblestone huts y’all could hide under

once tsukki and yams finished destroying the end crystals, you joined them in shooting down the ender dragon

kags and hinata were still fighting endermen 

like all you’d see is “ __ was slained by Enderman” messages as you listened to tsukki and yams talk to each other calmly

yachi said she wasnt fighting no dragon bc fuck that shit

one y’all did kill the dragon, hinata tried to claim the dragon egg and tsukishima yelled at him for like ten minutes bc hinata didnt do shit

and while tsukki fought with hinata and kageyama, you and yachi followed yamaguchi into an end gateway

you found an end city but then you fell outta the world </3 dont ask how, you just did

you decided to log off and that was that

another time you logged on, tsukki invited you to go with him to a woodland mansion bc he got a map

you thought he was being fishy but you went anyways bc content

everything was going well, you guys traveled there together, found a desert temple along the way, you tamed a cat, tsukki talked about conspiracy theories with you

but then you got to the mansion and you lost him

you were like tsukki where tf you’d go and he would tell you a place and you would go and he wasnt there

you were about to cry bc so many mobs were after you and u just boxed yourself into a little dirt hut in the corner and you kept yelling at tsukki in vc

he muted himself bc he was laughing his ass off at your pain heart been broke so many times

he finally came to get you bc apparently he already moved upstairs and just as you calmed down, tsukki betrayed you

you walked in front of him in fear of mobs hitting you from behind but tsukki ended up hitting you with a sword to death </3

you immediately logged off and then cried to your stream about fake friends for like ten minutes while listening to the inside out soundtrack

your chat convinced you to log back on and hesitantly joined the vc again and tsukishima apologized while trying to hold back laughter and told you that he put your stuff in your chest and you were like 🥺🥺🥺

overall the server is very chaotic but kinda nice bc family bonding ❤️ and even tho tsukki is a dick he along, with yams, help you and yachi out sometimes so your cottagecore aesthetic thrived

UNEDITED.

tag list: @kaoyuuuuu​ @macaronnv < it wont let me tag you :((

[shhh-secret-time]

Star Park AU: Stan Marsh Edition

-> Lives on Tegridy Farms with his family. His dad sold their house and moved them out to the valley when Stan was ten. (They're essentially where Marnie is in game.)

-> Sparky is still alive but he's getting older, so he sticks to laying on the porch waiting for Stan to get back

-> Plays football with Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien! Kenny and Cartman will join in sometimes and he practically drags Kyle out to join them.

-> He works for Joja Mart with his sister. They'd both rather work there than be near their dad.

》 He's saving up to move back to the city, or so he says. Truth be told he can't leave behind Sparky or his Mom.

-> He bought his own chicken coop and has a few chickens of his own.

-> He goes to the saloon every night, most nights by himself

-> But on Fridays, after Jimmy's comedy act, him and his band will play!

-> On Sundays when everyone else is in church or doing their own thing. Stan and Kyle will go up to the summit past the railroad tracks and spend hours up there. Catching up and just unwinding.

-> He probably has a mini event that's kind of like Sam's 2 heart event, where he asks the Farmer what type of music they like.

Gift Guide:

Loves: Pizza, Survival Burger, Book of Mysteries, Frozen Tears, Beer (This changes after Heart Event 6)

Likes: Joja Cola, Apples, All Eggs, Void Esscene, Large Milk

Neutral: All Fruit (Except Apples), Coffee, Peppers

Dislikes: Fertilizer, Daffodil, Any Fish, Pink Cake

Hates: Rabbit Foot, Coleslaw, Clay, Beer (After Heart Event 6)

Loved: "Dude! Are you sure?! Man this rules!"

Liked: "Oh, uh thanks! Should I get you something back?"

Neutral: "Cool, I'll find a use for it."

Disliked: "What...is this? Why?"

Hated: "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Given any alcohol after Heart Event 6: "Why would you give me this?! You know I'm trying to stop!"

Heart Event @ 2:

Stan is throwing empty beer bottles at the passing train, they shatter just as the Farmer approaches him. He looks back at them with a grin offering one for them to throw. He mentions that he was drinking with his friend Kenny but he had to go, so now he's just passing time. He's not quite drunk yet but he's tipsy. When the Farmer takes the bottle and throws it he relaxes a little, says that he's glad they're not put off by the behavior. After a little bit of silence, he asks them why they moved to the Valley. There's not a lot of money in farming and then makes a comment about how he fucking hates it. How he feels isolated from the rest of the town sometimes.

-> Feels that way sometimes doesn't it? But at least you have your friends (+)

-> You're literally closer to town than I am, don't your friends come to visit you? (-)

If First Option: He mulls it over and decides you're right. He should he grateful he at least has them. Though lately it feels like they're drifting apart. Stan comments how you must feel lonely being new to town and all.

"Oh well. I guess we can be lonely losers together. Farmer buddies and all that."

If Second Option: Stan doesn't really appreciate the sass. He wasn't looking for a pity party, just wanted to kinda vent. He makes note not to talk about it again.

"Yeah sure. I guess, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."

Heart Event @ 4:

Stan and his friends are playing pool at the tavern, a rare instance where they're all off work and finally get to hang out. He leans over the pool table and sinks another ball, much to Kyle's annoyance. As the Farmer comes in Cartman makes a comment that Kyle is getting his ass kicked and bad. It prompts Kyle to snap at him and shake the pool cue at him. Kenny and Stan laugh a little before Stan realizes you're there. He smiles and gestures for you to come over! Now that you're here they have enough for teams. Farmer is confused because there's already four of them, they make five. Stan whispers in their ear, explaining that Cartman won't play with Kyle anymore. He lost one time and now he's convinced that Kyle cheated. Something about how there's no way Kyle would ever actually win a game fair and square. When you agree he gets excited and before anyone else gets the chance he announces that you'll be on his team!

"Awesome! We're gonna smoke these guys! Kenny wrack 'em! Farmer is with me!"

⚠️ TW: Attempted suicide ahead ⚠️

Heart Event @ 6:

Stan's drinking again. Right next to the railroad tracks but this time he's got one foot on the railroad, rocking back and forth. There's glass bottles around him, unbroken and too many to count. He almost stumbles down to the ground but he keeps himself up. Farmer approaches and that's when they hear the sound of the train coming in, and it's coming fast. Stan had no intentions on moving, in fact he looks like he's about to fall forward willingly. The dead look in his eyes tells them that much. Farmer runs across the field and tackles him into the ground, the train narrowly missing the both of them. Stan lays there having just had the wind knocked out of him. His head is spinning and he feels sick, but he also feels the Farmer on his chest and his back against the ground. He's not dead. Then it hits him, you almost died to save him. You who's kept talking to him despite everything, even when he was being an ass.

"You....you could have gotten yourself killed why would you do that?"

-> I couldn't just stand there and watch you die Stan!

-> Are you crazy?! You almost got us both killed!

-> I don't know...my legs just moved on their own.

-> (Just hug him)

If First Option: Stan starts crying and presses his palms into his eyes. He lays there and sobs, but he feels safe enough to do it.

"Hey Farmer...hic...can you help me to Kyle. I'm scared."

If Second Option: He grits his teeth and digs his hand into the dirt. Stan knows what he did was crazy, he can't be mad at you for snapping like that. You just saved his life. But he didn't ask you to.

"Fuck...I know. Look, just help me get to Kyle. I think I'm gonna be sick."

If Third Option: Stan doesn't know what to say but he thinks he gets it. He just closes his eyes and tries to stop the dizzy ride his drunken state is on. He doesn't want to move but he can't just lay here all day.

"Do you think Kyle is gonna yell at me...if I show up looking like this? Maybe if I just go to sleep I won't have to think about it."

If Fourth Option: Stan freezes he wasn't expecting the Farmer to do that. They should be angry with him, furious. But they're hugging him and clinging to him for dear life. His life. Stan wraps his arms around them and starts to cry. It's the most vulnerable he's been with anyone in a long time.

"Shit...fuck dude...just please don't let me go. I don't wanna go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Heart Event @ 8:

It's early morning when the Farmer steps out, they're greeted with the sound of music. Stan is sitting on their porch playing his old guitar, the acoustic one that's seen better days. When the Farmer gets closer he looks up at them for a moment, unable to look them in the eye for too long. After a moment of silence, he tells them that Kyle got it out of storage for him. Says it'll help him focus on something other than the withdrawals and that Kyle put him in contact with a therapist. He thanks the Farmer for saving his life, and apologizes that they had to see that. As he plays a somber tune again he makes a comment, this is the first time he's been on their farm. First time he's been out this way since they moved into the valley. He confesses that your farm is a lot nicer than his dad's and that maybe farming isn't so bad. Farmer sits beside him and he quietly continues playing, they've never heard him play this song before.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you. You and Kyle shouldn't have to take care of me, but you did. You care and I should remember that. Sparky would have been really upset if I never came home. So thanks...for everything."

When given the bouquet:

"!! I don't understand why you'd choose me, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. So I accept!"

Heart Event @ 10:

Stan is leading Farmer past the railroad tracks, he doesn't even seem bothered much anymore to be here. He leads them up the path that he's taken a thousand times. There he leads them to the summit, his favorite spot to be at. They sit together at the edge if the cliff with their legs dangling off the side. He admits to them that he liked coming up here a lot as a kid, when his dad and him would fight it was his little hiding spot. Then he brought Kyle and it became special. The days where he'd get stupid drunk he'd think about just falling forward like that day with the train. But it's because of those amazing memories with his best friend, he could never bring himself to do it. They're special and he wouldn't want to ruin them for Kyle. It's things like that, that remind him why he's alive. Things like you. He smiles at the Farmer and tells you this. Tells Farmer he wants to continue to make more memories with them so he has a reason. His hand inches closer to theirs, not quite touching. Before he can pull away, Farmer takes his hand and slides closer to him. They rest their head on his shoulder and look up towards the big illuminated moon that's in front of them. Stan wraps his arm around them and lays his cheek on top of their head.

"Every moment with you reminds me why I'm here. I'm not...perfect and I don't think I'll ever understand why you choose to stick around. But I meant what I said, I want you around me always. I can breath with you around."

Heart Event @ 14:

Stan's outside playing with Sparky and Farmer's pet, when he moved in he brought his beloved dog with him. Sparky seems to be getting better every day he's here and Stan couldn't be happier. Farmer walks up with hearts in their eyes, making him a little bashful. He rubs the back of his neck just as Sparky brings the ball back. He mentions that he really loved animals, and that he's always had a soft spot for them. Farmer questions him about his love for Survival Burgers, which he quickly points out that they're made of Cave Carrot NOT beef! After a little while of playing with the pets he sits in the field with them, looking over their hardwork. Stan turns red and starts ranting about how the last time he went to visit his dad, he started nagging him about grandkids. He's embarrassed because Randy has never mentioned it before and it makes him uncomfortable.

"He's such an ass! You'd think he'd stop trying to tell me how to live my life after I moved out. Why doesn't he bother Shelly with this?!"

-> He probably does. We don't have to have kids if you don't want them! I'm just happy you're here with me! Don't let him get to you!

-> Don't let your dad pressure you into anything you're not ready for. It's our relationship and we'll decide when and if we want kids. But if you're anything like you are with Sparky towards kids, I think you'd be a great dad!

If First Option: Stan grins and tells them they're right as always. He leans down and kisses the top of their head. Sparky walks over with the Farmer's pet and lays in their lap. Stan smirks and makes a comment about how they could just get another dog.

"Our farm is big enough for another one right? We could get one or two more puppies. They could help with the sheep and chickens! Help dig holes!"

If Second Option: Stan says he'll think on it. Later that night while Farmer is cleaning up the dishes and putting them away. Stan walks up behind them and wraps his arms around them. He murmurs in their ear that he's been doing nothing but thinking about what they said. The thought of starting a family with them is starting to sound appealing, plus it could be fun raising a mini them. He presses a kiss into their temple.

"You really think I'll make a good dad? I just don't wanna end up like mine...but if you're with me I think I could do it. And if they're anything like you, they'll be an amazing kid."

Random Marriage Quotes!!

"You looked really adorable asleep last night...you also drooled on my arm."

"Having a bad thought day...I might be a little off today. I'm sorry."

"Babe, you got dirt on your face. C'mere, let me clean it. Just let me take care of you butthead!"

"Sparky and I watered the crops today! How do you know how much to give them? I feel like I'm drowning them."

"Fed the animals! They're doing great! Would...you judge me if I took a nap out in the field with them?"

"Hey...real quick...I uh- I love you. I know I don't say it enough and I'm sorry, but I really do."

"Morning. Made you some pancakes! I stole the recipe from my mom! Why do you look scared?"

"Hey babe, I'm going to visit my parents today. Please feel free to come save me when you're done doing what you need to do."

"Are you coming to the tavern tonight? We're playing a new song tonight, I wrote it for you."

"You know, when I was a kid, when I got nervous, I'd throw up. You make me nervous sometimes but I- hey! I'm not going to puke on you, I'm not twelve. Get back here!"

Tag List: @hunnysnoops

[uneq-apol--arts]

Duped

AO3

Summary: (Reverse Portal AU) Stan and Dipper discover they have a lot more in common than they thought. 

Warnings: references to alcohol abuse

Genre: Familial Fluff

Characters: Dipper Pines, Stan Pines

Notes: Requested by @hurricanelistmaker. There may be some references to the RP Mind Wipe AU. This just really reminded me of it.

----------

The past week had been an absolute whirlwind of weird. Not just the Gravity Falls type of ultimately harmless. No, this weird was a weird that could've destroyed the world if done incorrectly. First, the youngest Pines discovered their seemingly boring Great-Uncle Ford was building a doomsday device in a basement they knew nothing about. Second, from that portal arrives another great-uncle the youngest Pines knew nothing about! 

On the topic of Great-Uncle Ford, Dipper couldn't find him anywhere. Someone had moved the axolotl feed to where Dipper couldn't reach it. Judging by the muffled bangs from below the house, Ford was down in the basement again, where the children weren't allowed. The younger twins hadn't seen hide nor hair of their caretaker since his brother returned. 

Great-Uncle (or Grunkle, as he insisted the children call him) Stan was a pretty cool guy though. In the past week, he'd already taught Dipper and Mabel how to box, sword fight, and swindle some suckers from town. Dipper questioned his morals but went along with his lessons anyways. Stan had even questionably obtained a sketchbook for Dipper to write in instead of Great-Uncle Ford's old journal. 

Back to the problem at hand for the youngest Pines, someone had moved the axolotl feed. There weren't any step ladders in the house that Dipper knew of and standing on the couch to reach the little blue canister seemed too risky. 

Dipper left for the nearest room noise came from: the kitchen. "Great-Uncle Ford!" 

-----

Stan swore in all the languages he'd learned. He was going to go mad living here! He'd only lived here a week and he was getting sick of all this organic junk Ford lived on. The cranky old nerd was spending all of his waking hours in the basement pulling apart the portal without help. 

Seriously though, how did his nutters brother and the children live on this "health food" junk? Fruits and vegetables? Gross. It was quite possibly worse than what Stan scrounged up in the multiverse! That at least tasted like meat! 

Stan was just about tempted to murder Mabel's pig if it meant he could get some good grub. He didn't care if she hated him for it! 

He did. 

She was wonderful. 

At a loss, Stan grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed it in his mouth, satiating his dripping appetite. From the doorway, Dipper called out for his dumb drunk great-uncle. 

-----

Dipper stopped short in the kitchen doorway, his next call dying on his lips. Leaning back on his heels to see the higher cupboard shelves was the boy's estranged, one-armed, great-uncle. "Great-Uncle Stan?" The man in question spun around dangerously quick and stumbled. A piece of bread hung from the man's mouth. 

"Um." Stan's mouth fell open and the saliva-soggy half-eaten piece of bread hit the tile floor with a disgusting squelch. Both men's eyes met the bread on the floor, Dipper with a grossed out cringe. "Um." Stan muttered again, face barely flushed from being caught. He reached out a booted foot and shoved the bread under the lip of the lower cabinets before looking up at Dipper and waving his hand. "You din't see nothin'." Stan said darkly. Dipper nodded, choking back his comment on the double negative with a scared squeak. Stan's demeanor shifted suddenly to a more playful tone and he crossed over to Dipper, throwing his arm around the boy's shoulders. "Whatcha need, squirt?" 

"Someone moved the axolotl feed and I can't reach it now." Dipper lamented as Stan returned to the task of overturning the whole kitchen. Dipper finally stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. 

"Sounds like a you problem, kiddo." 

Hoping to use his own tricks against him, Dipper looked for a bargaining chip. "What are you looking for?" Had Stan actually rubbed off on him that quickly? Dipper supposed he saw a lot more of Stan than Ford. The boy shivered, uncomfortable with that train of thought. They should probably make sure Ford was okay if the increase in frequency of the bangs from below was anything to go by.

"You're smart, whaddya think?" Before Dipper could even start reasoning, Stan interrupted again. "I'm lookin' for somethin' to eat that isn't boring or vegetarian." He spit the last word out with such distaste that Dipper let out a crackly little laugh. Bargaining chip acquired. Now he just had to use it. 

"Good luck with that, man." Stan turned to glower at the petite twelve-year-old. For the peeved façade the man put up, Dipper could see the intrigue behind it. "Get me the axolotl feed and I'll let you eat from Mabel and I's food stash?" Stan didn't look convinced. "We have beef jerky." That got the conman's attention. The cupboard door slammed shut and echoed in the kitchen space. 

"Thank Moses for you, kid!" Dipper smiled mischievously. "Why are you-- Hey wait a minute!" Dipper burst out laughing and headed to the living room, leaving a proud and spluttering Stan in his wake.

-----

After recovering from being duped by the little miscreant, Stan followed Dipper into the living room. In a wooden case sat the axolotl tank, the little pink salamander floating around and bonking into the glass walls. 

"Y'know I met a sentient axolotl once." Stan said as he reached up for the canister the kid indicated. 

"Really?" He scream-asked. Stan covered his ear with his remaining hand then held out the canister to Dipper. 

"Jeez kid, you're worse than Poindexter!" The old man mumbled. 

"Speaking of-" Moses, you talk just like him. "-where is Great-Uncle Ford?" 

"Oh he's prob'ly off doin' unholy science in the basement." Stan knew very well what his brother was doing. He was sitting alone in the basement, trying to tear apart the portal, running purely on vodka and bourbon. Ironically, another bang sounded and rattled the frame of the house. 

Stan and Dipper watched the axolotl float about in comfortable silence. Dipper dropped a couple pellets into the water and with a ferocity that should be strictly reserved for sharks, the axolotl snapped out and caught the tiny pellets in its little mouth. The two watched the little salamander swim around for a bit, its fronds flicking as Stan spoke up again. "So... ya got any other weird pets?" 

"We had a compsognathus for a little while. It started stealing Great-Uncle Ford's pens, though." There was an unmistakable sadness in the boy's voice so Stan laid a hand on his shoulder. "We gave him to Farmer Sprott to take care of." Dipper pulled out his journal and showed the sketches of the chicken-sized dinosaur to Stan. 

"Oh man that's cool. I'd love to go visit him if we can." 

"Oh, yeah, we visit him every once in a while. He's really happy with Farmer Sprott." Dipper paused for a minute. "Did you ever see any dinosaurs in the multiverse?" 

"No, I didn't. Woulda been cool though. Any other pets?" 

"Yeah," Dipper took Stan's hand and led him out to a small pond a little ways into the forest. Stan was instantly on high alert. Dipper sat down by the bank but Stan stayed standing, surveying the area. 

"Great-Uncle Ford has a pet plaidypus. He had this pond built a little after he found her. She was abandoned by her mother when she was a baby because her bill was cracked and her tail was damaged." Stan could immediately feel the hurt in his heart at that. Said pain only intensified when the strange red plaid patterned creature emerged from the water and rubbed up against Dipper's hand, beckoning pets. Dipper giggled and patted the weird little thing on the head, making its tail paff against the grass. 

Stan just watched, frozen in curiosity and sadness when a little tug at his pant leg caught his attention. Looking down, he found an even smaller plaidypus chewing on his pant leg with the same chipped bill and malformed tail. The mother came over to retrieve her child and Stan just watched in wonder as mother and baby bonded, laying down in the grass together. 

"What can you tell me about the axolotl you met?" Dipper spoke up softly, breaking Stan away from the pair of plaidypus. Deciding the place was safe enough, Stan sat down next to Dipper who took out a notepad and pen. As Stan began his story, he gesticulated wildly, completely enthralling Dipper.

 "Well it was huge! Like the size of a whale!..." 

----------

Remember: You are loved and cherished and we'd hate to lose you <3.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Ishqbaaz Liveblog, E4: Anyone Between 40-59 is Shit

Previously: E3 “A really good premise”

Welcome! My liveblogging continues. Check out @australian-desi​ and @tellywoodtrash​ for more IB liveblogs (if you’re interested in this, TTji is my ultimate guru to lb-ing)!

So far I’m waiting and seeing if IB will break Kasautii Zindagi Kii 2, cause KZK2′s plot and non annoyance meter stood firm till 5 episodes. Until new Prerna decided to mega sacrifice herself and marriage a CREEP to save her family’s home. I noped out of that so hard after Prerna’s decision. 

And so far I’m pleasantly surprised by IB, and genuinely enjoying it plot-wise. 

Here’s the end of my yapping, now enjoy the liveblog!

Episode 4: “Anyone Between 40-59 is Shit”

- Deva Shree Ganesha continues. Till now Nakuul’s chin level is steady (later in the show his nose is permanently in the air - as noted by @ridzmystique​)

- Burning Man continues, literally. 

- Ganesh Ji also getting nice footage. 

- Where is the thunder in the bg music coming from? 

- Why ISN’T ANYONE DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THE FIRE? AH SHAKTI nearly went but was stopped by Tej. 

- Tej doing damage control. Ofc, classic Tej. Dramatic shot continues, Tej is dramatic AF.

- HEY WE DIDN’T SEE MUCH OF THE OBROS TRYING TO SAVE BURNING MAN. But we must assume cause Shivaay is a bit burnt. 

- Shivaay hurt his hand too? Shivaay, are we connecting too? Why? (My hand is hurt too)

- Ah, their first factory was burned but Dadaji decided to save the people instead of inventory #dadajirocks 

- Shivaay taking the full pressure of things, as usual. Oh, Nakuul is acting really well in this scene - what do they do with him later?

- Poor Dadiji, she’s so sad - she’ll get a heart attack one day.

- Good vaada to take from older brother, make sure bhaichara remains between all of them. 

- Sometimes it is so important to not be like your parents, if your parents are shitty. 

- Oh the Mandir is BEAUTIFUL. 

- DRAMATC TEJ APPEARS. 

- WTF ACQUIRING LAND BY FORCING THE FARMERS? Tej must like what crap the government is pulling right now. #farmersprotest (please check it out and give it the support and awareness it deserves)

- Good, thank God Shakti has some sense. Oh, a flawed man with a conscience - I really like Shakti, he’s very layered. 

- Tej is dramatic AF, Shakti is frickkin layered. These two bros are playing well against each other. 

- WHO? DADI AND HER TWO SONS FACE OFF. 

- YAY THIS POOL IS DEEPER THAN 1 FOOT! (Imagines Arnav swimming through this *cough*)

OK STOP DISTRACTING ME GUYS, LET’S FOCUS ON THE SHOW. 

ISS PY

ISHQBAAZ

WHERE THERE’S A POOL

AND NO OTHER THOUGHTS

YOU KNOW WHY I GOT DIVERTED, BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS, YES

ANYWAYS,

- Shivaay… wondering about family name even though someone died? 

- You know, what I like about this convo is that both Om and Shivaay are right in their positions. 

- Om: worried that a person died, Shivaay: reputation matters 

- Damn it, this was a good conversation.

- Ah Rudy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE HOW THEY USED THE BABY BROTHER TO BREAK THE TENSION. The great thing of Rudy not smiling is that you know shit has hit the fan when that happened. 

- I don’t like how they’re treating Guggi - the way they tried to make her ‘comedic’ because she doesn’t fit the standard of beauty. I DO NOT like this. 

- FINALLY DADI! Finally have a word with your sons. 

- Just ignoring Pinky. Jhanvi, I Stan you as always. 

- Ah Rudy, I LOVE HOW SHIVAAY AND OM CALMED AND THE CRACKS HEALED BECAUSE OF RUDY BEING THEIR BABY. 

- HAHAHAH! Shivaay yelled Om for hitting Rudra by showing Rudy how to hit better! 

- HAHAHAH THEY’RE MAKING RAJNIKANTH OUT OF SHIVAAY! I LOVED how in one scene, without too much, showed how Rudy is the glue between two brothers who love each other but are ideologically different (and a difference that can cause a crack if not healed at the right time)

- DADI BRINGIN IN THE KASAM to make sure her two fishy sons tell the truth. Shakti told half truth, smart. WHY IS DADI SMILING? 

- OK dadi your sons have a LOT of issues, your sanskaar totes failed. 

- Okay, Anjali has transformed to Sahil (I guess that’s the kid’s name). Do we need to be orphans and have a limping sibling to be a television lead? (Taking a hockey stick and heading to my brother)

- Why is the landlady and constables standing in filmy line too?

- UFF THIS LANDLADY KA OVERACTING - OH WAIT SHE’S ACTUALLY ANIKA’S BUAJI BUAJI - DAMN WTF IS SHE. THIS BUAJI IS OVERACTING LIKE SHIT.

- Totally not interested in this character. 

- Dude Anika is anaath, isme tera kya jaata hai?

- Yes Anika, kill her. 

- Woah who’s manhandling Anika?

- THAT IS A FINE ACTRESS, please don’t make her do a shitty role. WTF? POLICE VIOLENCE. 

- Phirse gaana? These three bros should have an album after their name. In case their other businesses fail, this one should keep things floating :D *did I foresee something in this sentence, I might’ve*

- I would call thing cringy, if I didn’t do the same shit with my bro. We’re dramatic AF too, dancing to random songs all the time. 

- The police waali has personal vendetta against Anika. Why? 

- Ok, almost every 40-50s person in this show is terrible. 

- Ok how is this terrible Buaji and the police waali connected? Is this police person a relative or something to Buaji?

- Ok I love the kid, I love how much he loves Anika. 

- Ok, we have reason why Anika should be removed from this situation asap (already murdering Shivaay for the future marriage condition).

So it is interesting and I’m eager to see what all tropes would happen when Shivaay and Anika meet. In her words, I have very low tolerance for michimichi! For example: I (largely) hate the swami track, post marriage comedy, sheetal track, when Khushi gives ‘gyaan’ to either Lavanya or Arnav about marriage or anything and all that in IPK. 

But I’m also waiting to listen to O Jaana and see the staring, wind and all cause I’m a wee bit sucker for those. 

So goodnight and see you tomorrow!

- S

Next up: E5 “Devi Maiyya working overtime for Shivika to happen”

[luninosity]

...okay! The first chapter of the Evanstan Autumn Fluff, aka A Place Not Far Away, is up on AO3 now! (aka: my favorite season is autumn and I desperately need some happy pumpkins-and-cider-and-hayrides fluff!)

In which it's time for the Evans Family Farm annual Harvest Festival, Sebastian Stan's here to do a story about it, and Chris Evans, like apple cider, is delicious.

Read chapter one on AO3 here! Teaser below (though you’ve probably seen this bit on here already!)

#

“He’s early!”

 The panic in his brother’s voice snags Chris’s attention. He tries to spin around and run that way and not drop the hand-painted sign he’s carrying, which means that, in rapid succession, the sign hits his toes, he nearly trips over a photogenically filled barrel of apples, he flails arms around to catch some flying fruit, and he says a word that the visiting reporter from New York City should definitely not hear him say.

 He yells, “Why is he early?” His toes throb.

 “I don’t know!” Scott drops out of the lower branches of the giant oak, rustling foliage. Decorative twinkly lights swing, having just been placed, but thankfully don’t fall. “I’m not an expert in telepathic communication with sexy New York reporters!”

 “Don’t call him sexy!”

 “Why not? He is. I Googled him. Hot and smart. And also here. Now.”

 “He’s a professional,” Chris grumbles, “and so are we. Act like it.” He glares at the sign—it proclaims Corn Maze This Way! in buoyant yellow and red lettering—and then at his younger brother. Neither target seems bothered. “Anyway, he probably doesn’t even want to be here. On assignment. For his big-name magazine. From New York.”

 “Bro, you make it sound like we’re small-town farmers.”

 “We are small-town farmers. Or everyone else is, anyway. I’m…never mind.” He eyes his boot. The dirt beneath it. The memories.

 Sunshine the color of New England autumn stretches over his shoulders, honey and pumpkin and cream. Orchards and wooden carts and antique pressing machines sprawl out along the low hill; the world’s decorated in sunflowers and piled-up knobby gourds and the drift of cider through the air. The afternoon’s low and sweet as drying hay and cinnamon sugar. The Harvest Festival officially opens tomorrow, the Evans Family Farm has hosted seasonal delight with roaring success for multiple generations, and award-winning travel reporter Sebastian Stan’s here to do a story on them.

 And it’s not Chris’s story. Not really, anyway.

 Unless the reporter wants that story. His gut twists. Could be the case. If that’s the angle. Has been before, though not for a few years.

 “Stop that.” Scott punches him in the bicep, not too lightly. “You’re one of us now. I know you know that, so quit thinking you’re not. You’ve memorized the history and brewed your own harvest ale and fucking learned woodworking. No one cares about whatever ancient hit teen movies you might’ve been in.”

 “Thanks.”

 “You know what I mean. Now come be friendly to the nice and definitely sexy reporter.” Scott pauses, head on one side. “Maybe I’m his type. Or maybe you’re his type. If he’s into the whole beards and flannel and muscles thing. He is into guys; he talked about being bisexual in that whole LGBTQ travel highlights series.”

 “I’m not going to sleep with a reporter!”

 “What if he wants to?”

 “Scott…” Chris gives up. Besides, he’s grateful almost beyond words: Scott’s standing there grinning at him, hands casually in pockets, hair dyed extra-gold by the sun, and Chris feels like the words might be true, like he might belong here, like the past doesn’t matter and the present’s full of affection and freshly-picked blackberries and laughing unserious possibilities.

 He says, “Where is he?”

 “Saw his car coming up the drive, so…by now…parked in the visitor lot?”

 “Why are we still talking—”

 They run that direction. The reporter’s no doubt looking around, taking everything in, all the details they haven’t quite finished because they’d thought they’d have the last couple hours of the day, the signs that aren’t up yet and the unfilled baskets sitting on the porch of the main shop and the wobbly second step—

 They slow down, panting, just before rounding the corner. Chris runs hands through his hair, cringes at his own sweat and dirt-scuffs and beard he’d meant to trim decently before the following day—his hair’s getting too long, he needs a haircut—

 For a split second, a half-second, he doesn’t exactly miss Hollywood stylists; the snap of emotion kicks him in the stomach. He hasn’t been that teenage star for over two decades, and he doesn’t miss it, not the stress and the pressure and the expectations and the performance, constant performance, on and off set, but—

 But what, he thinks; and shakes the thought away inside his head. He likes himself these days, mostly, most days. He’s not performing for anyone. Absolutely not just because the big-city reporter no doubt prefers stylish fashion and up-to-the-minute trends and people without a smudge of apple farm on one rolled-up shirt-sleeve.

 He makes his heart-rate calm down a little. Some breathing. Breathing’s nice.

 Scott peeks around the General Store’s cheerfully old-fashioned wooden corner. “He’s just standing there.”

 “Not trying to look at anything?”

 “I mean…he’s looking around, but…”

 Chris elbows his brother out of the way. Peeks for himself. And feels arrows of undiluted gold thump into his chest.

 Sebastian Stan the reporter is indeed there, leaning against his car—compact and practical but a luscious deep red—and framed by colorful tree-leaves and wooden fences, and he’s made of infinite legs and fluffy soft dark hair and sharp cheekbones and an elegant jawline. He’s wearing skinny jeans that cling to every inch of length, plus a blue knit sweater and a black leather jacket, and Chris can’t quite make out the color of his eyes but just then Sebastian tips his face up to the sun, basking in it, rays falling over his face, and Chris outright makes a sound.

 It’s not just the beauty. It’s the openness, the ease, the way Sebastian had glanced around with not hostility but real interest, and then decided to drink in and appreciate the sunshine like a happy kitten.

 A glorious long-legged kitten. With a lean waist and strong thighs that Chris’s hands ache to pet.

 “Well,” Scott says, with what must be the maximum amount of smugness seven words can hold, “guess we know he’s your type.”

 Chris opens his mouth to tell his brother exactly what to do to himself with an ear of corn, but freezes. Sebastian’s glanced their way. Must’ve heard a noise. Might’ve heard Scott. Which is never a good thing.

 Fuck. And other expletives. Okay. They’ll just have to…walk over there. Say hi. Apologize and beg for mercy, depending on how much Sebastian’s overheard.

 At this point Chris’s brain decides to play a high-speed daydream involving himself on his back, those fantastic legs straddling him, and his own voice begging for mercy. Fuck, again. He bangs his head against the wood of the building, gently.

 Sebastian, evidently having decided not to pursue the noise, has taken out a notebook. Is jotting something down. About the scents of cider and pumpkins, nutmeg and falling leaves and October ground? About the size and shape of the store, the barn, a tractor, some hay bales?

 Sebastian pauses. Looks up and around, smiles, scribbles something else.

  Chris takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know why Sebastian’s a day early; he wants to find out.

[bethsuglywigs]

Good Girls Tag Game

tagged by @mego42

When did you start watching Good Girls? 

I actually started watching Good Girls twice. The first time after S1 was already on Netflix, but before S2 premiered. I watched all of S1 and I liked it, but I wasn’t committed just yet. Then I came back to it probably around November or December 2019 because I stumbled across S2 on Netflix.

Why did you start watching Good Girls?

The first time was because I like Retta and I saw her in the autoplay trailer on Netflix. The second time was because I was bored and had nothing better to do. 

Who is your favorite character? 

Ruby ofc

What's your favorite ship? 

idiot x idiot 

Who is your favorite secondary character? 

Probs Mary Pat, followed closely by Rhea and Tyler

If you could give Beth one background detail what would it be? 

that she attended college for a year and that she’s always wanted to go back and finish her degree

If you could give Annie one background detail what would it be? 

that she and greg met through a dorky high school activity like being part of the school yearbook team

If you could give Ruby one background detail what would it be? 

she met stan through church

What's your favorite crime related moment or storyline? 

dean trying to get anyone and everyone to help him kill rio: the krav maga guy, the baby hitmen, stan 

What's your favorite personal moment or storyline? 

i really like stan and ruby’s storyline across all three seasons as they struggle to navigate ruby’s (and later stan’s) involvement with crime and its impact on their family and marriage 

Bonus: Add 3 characters in the hashtags for your tagged friends to play fuck, marry, kill! (or snog, marry, avoid!)

FMK: manbun Rio, quiff Rio, Manny Montana

Kill - quiff Rio: this man would get on my last nerve with his macklemore looking ass  

Marry - manbun Rio: this man plays soccer and goes to the farmers market. while he’s definitely also annoying, i think we can make it work 

Fuck - MM: the fact that he’s already married makes me think it won’t work out between us

tagging: you 

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Where the Crop Circles Grow ch.1

Summary: When things get out of hand at the Pines’ family farm, Ford asks an old college buddy to assist investigating anomalies and Stan hires a farmhand. Who knew asking for help would actually get you somewhere?

For @lemonfodrizzleart. Part of her Farmer AU and featuring her OC, Jackie Asante.

Ao3 link here.

ch.2

~~~~~~~~~~

“Jackie, was it?” Stan repeated as he rocked in his chair, the shade feeling comfortable with the warm summer’s day baking everything that dared to escape air conditioning.

“Yes, sir.” The woman repeated. Her ankles were crossed as she sat in her rocking chair, her hands on her lap. Nerves hindered her normal behavior; Never in a million years would she sit like this, unless she really wanted a job and wanted to impress her potential employer.

The man in a gray t-shirt (it might have been white at some point), dirty jeans, and boots raised an eyebrow at her and waved the response away with a strong hand. “First off, there’s no need for all that sir-stuff, okay? I ain’t that old.”

Jackie let out a good-natured snort and smiled more relaxed. “Okay.” She sat a little bit more relaxed, now one knee over the other, and she rocked a little in her blue-jeans, white t-shirt, and light-purple jacket, the bottoms of the side tied together and her sleeves rolled up.

Stan looked at her, reading her as if she was a book, and he instantly knew he would like her. Something in the sparkle in her dark eyes, something in the way she held herself up promised the whole world that she was way more capable than what people initially believed and she was going to rub it in their faces.

Okay, now that he got that out of the way, what was he supposed to do now? Sixer probably had a pamphlet full of things to do or a check-list in his brain of what to ask her, but that genius got distracted by some new freaky thing and ran off into the woods, but not without telling Stan to interview the potential farmhand. Why’d he have to do this? It was all Sixer’s idea. While a farmhand was probably a good idea, Stan would’ve hoped they could save the dough by making Ford and his friend from college work, but both brothers knew that wasn’t going to happen. Well, she was here. Might as well get her a drink.

“Want a soda or somethin’?” Stan asked as he stood and stretched his arms over his head, his shirt stretched tightly over his gut and strong chest.

Jackie shrugged with a smile and stood. “Sure, thanks.”

Stan waved towards himself casually, signalling her to follow him, and he led the way inside the house. Jackie followed him and allowed herself to take in the space without being too nosy. In front of the doorway was a big living room with a yellow-plaid couch and matching armchair, a card table, a wood-burning stove, and even a TV. An owl-themed tick-tock clock hooted the time (11:00am) with eleven wheezy hoots. Stan led the way to the left, the opposite direction of the stairs leading up to the second floor, and into the kitchen.

Jackie’s face flinched a little bit at the state of the room, a big mess all over the table and every square inch of counter decorated with books, food, and dirty dishes. Jackie stood at the doorway and couldn’t help but notice a picture of a family hanging by her head. A man with a straw hat and sunglasses stood tall and strong behind his family, while his wife sat with a set of twins in her arms, hugging them with a big smile. A third boy, about three years older than the twins, smiled in front of the father and besides the mother. 

“Well, this here’s the kitchen.” Stan narrated pointlessly to fill the air, stealing Jackie from her thoughts. His head was in the fridge but he soon emerged with two glass bottles of Pitt soda. He even popped one open for Jackie before giving it to her. “Livin’ room’s just by the door, then past the stairs is two bedrooms, one’s a master with a bathroom, and then upstairs is the attic and two more bedrooms.”

“Nice place.” Jackie complimented.

“Thanks.” Stan said after a sip of soda. “Pa left it to me and my brother. We got another brother, Shermie, but he’s workin’ for a bank in California. Got a kid now and everythin’.”

“Ah, somebody’s an uncle.” The dark-skinned woman commented with a smile.

Stan grinned proudly and seemed to have straightened his stance just a little bit. “Yup. Anyways, what made you wanna work here?”

Jackie shrugged. “I’ve always liked the fresh air n’ workin’ hard. My mama used to say sittin’ still’s a sin.”

Stan smiled in agreement. He was right; he liked this girl. “Okay, so what can you do?”

Jackie took a second to think of what she can do that applies to a farm. Really, in her mind the list kept growing. She couldn’t think of a single thing she couldn’t do if she really tried, so she gave him a sly smile and said, “Anythang.”

Stan barked a laugh and freed a finger from holding the bottle to point at her. “I like your style! Alright, so how much you want a month?”

“Eight-hundred.”

Stan raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think that’s a little high?” Not that he was worried; he liked to negotiate.

“Don’t you think I need enough to rent a place?” Jackie returned.

Stan snorted. “If you’re looking for a place to stay, we’ve got three… well, two bedrooms we aren’t usin’. You could stay with us rent-free for cheaper pay.”

“Well how much you willin’ to fork over?”

Stan grinned. Yup, he liked her. He wasn’t going to lose such a promising worker. “Five-hundred a month.”

“Deal.” Jackie held out a hand to shake.

Stan grasped it and shook. “Then you’re hired. You can have tomorrow to move in and…”

“No, I can start work tomorrow.” Jackie insisted. “Just give me this afternoon.”

Stan grinned. “Alright, fine. You’ll start first thing in the mornin’ tomorrow. You’ll know when. Go get what you need and I’ll show you your room and give you the full tour of the farm. There’s a stable and chicken coop and barn and fields full of work, as you saw comin’ in. You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

Stan exited the kitchen, giving Jackie a good look at the dirty kitchen. She sneered playfully to herself, “I can see that,” and followed her new boss out of the house.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was tired, but satisfied with his success. He collapsed into a rocking chair on the porch and glanced down at the photos in his hands; that polaroid Stanley got him for Hanukkah was being used well. It was so rare to get pictures of the floating eyes so crystal clear, mostly only seeing them at night, but these were lurking in the shadows of the overgrown trees and bush of the woods, and by sheer luck and perfect timing on Ford’s part, he got what he wanted.

The six-fingered investigator pulled out his journal from his messenger bag and bookmarked a page to fill out later with the photos. As he closed the book and became lost in thought at the sight of his golden handprint, the screen door opened and Stanley poked his head in. “Hey, dinnertime, nerd.”

“Coming,” Ford said as his brother left and he got to his feet, suddenly very hungry and ready to eat so he could finish his work for today.

While Stanley sat in a chair, rubbed his hands together, and smacked his lips at the table, Ford stood at the doorway with his jaw hanging like an executed criminal. Laid out on the big table in the kitchen was a plate full of fried chicken, collard greens, a skillet of cornbread, mashed potatoes with cheese, and unless Ford’s nose was playing tricks on him, there was something made of chocolate in the oven. Even more surprising than the mouth-watering meal was the stranger in the house. 

Untying a long apron, a dark-skinned woman with short black hair was standing by the hooks on the walls for keys and hats. She smiled as she hung her apron up and said, “Wash up, Mr. Pines. Oh, excuse me. Dr. Pines.” She added playfully.

Ford snorted. Apparently Stanley already told her about his twelve PhDs. “Please, call me Ford, ma’am.” He requested as he went to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. “Let me guess… you decided to hire Ms. Jackie Asante, Knucklehead?”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad idea.” Stan quipped as Jackie sat in the chair on his right. He threw her a wink, which her eyes sparkled at.

“Quite the contrary, considering she clearly sees fit to celebrate Thanksgiving any day of the year.” Ford said as he sat in the chair across the table from his twin.

Jackie smiled with hot cheeks and shrugged. “Clearly you’ve been starving out here. Well, you can forget TV dinners and take-out for awhile. At least not while I’m breathing.”

“Now hold up, take-out’s delicious.” Stan defended as he brought a chicken leg up to his lip and bit down with a beautiful crunch. His eyes grew wide and he sagged in relief and delight. He munched on his chicken happily and managed to wheeze out between bites. “Fuck take-out.”

“Stanley,” Ford scolded lightly before trying his dinner, but he was amazing and started mumbling swears like a sailor.

Meanwhile, Jackie grinned proudly into her cup of water and started to cut up the cornbread. Maybe getting this job was a good idea after all.