#nothing hits anymore
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am I over anime or have I simply become more discerning
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tumblr: the only place where the news of the attempted assassination of a former president was conveyed via an old supernatural meme and is somehow still less popular than gay porn
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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Real sort of
Yk somethings up when the thing that gives you the most joy in life isn’t pulling you out of the little episode you’re having that was caused by anxiety provoked by literally just waking up
#idk what's up#nothing hits anymore#Like at all but I'll do it in hopes that it will but it just doesn't
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lost little hound
#hits her with the dog motif ray#girls who are guard dogs with nothing to guard anymore#girls who were meant to follow in the footsteps of the hound of the underground#i keep thinking about her new jacket#arcane#vi arcane#pitfighter vi#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane fanart
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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catboy 170.. me rn.
#catboy#daily art#catboy art#digital art#doodle#doodles#sketch#i donwanna do nothing. actually no i wannastudy japanese but i dont wanna review. only new things. i want that dopamine hit.#^-^ but yknow thats sort of productive. i need to get through this book so that i can try and stumble through the bl i bought.#i wanna study kanji too. what if i just dont draw anymore today#im not feeling it..#sorry to give u my whole life story in the tags im just planning out my day at 4pm dont mind mme.
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Anasai of Ryddingwood. Each of her poems was written as an elegy. This was for her father. She left instructions; it can be read, but should not be spoken out loud, except when it was right to do so. She did not explain when it would be right to do so.
#The wheel of time#wot edit#wot on prime#moiraine damodred#lan mandragoran#wot book spoilers#minor spoiler though#the poem in itself tells nothing#the poet was literally one of the clues given by the official account to unlock a promo picture#married to death#mine: wot#mygifs#still it's a very interesting poem in this context and I've been wanting to use it for ages#I remember seeing the quotes from Rosamund Pike about the loss of the OP being like the loss of a child#and it's true that their arc hits a lot of beats from such stories with the people involved being having nothing in common anymore#the bond was a bridge between them#now it's an absence between them#they have different ways of dealing with that loss and those ways happen to break them even further apart#Moiraine wants him to move on without her#Lan wants her to talk to him#they aren't compatible#the arc gets an interesting conclusion in the sense that their conflict doesn't so much resolve as it is stitched#Moiraine does not talk to Lan any more than she does to Siuan#and Lan very much cannot move on from her#but Moiraine accepts that he will stick with her whatever happens#and Lan accepts that Moiraine will not tell him everything#their bond is restored but the fractures remain#they don't change but they accept they won't always be able to understand each other#I do like that the show made a point this was a choice to renew their vows too#this arc was a platonic feast I tell you
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would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella
as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY
#paragraphs and paragraphs about the villains' endings alone. hawks hpsc president. midoriya's ending#the fact hero society is barely changed and the changes that do happen feel very much TELLING the reader it happened#as opposed to actually showing us how society changed on it. this is smthn ik people will argue w me about#bc yes it was a 400+ chapter manga arguably showing us how society changed but like. did it actually show that#like do u honestly think any community would watch televised battles between TEENAGERS and bad guys#and have the majority of them go 'gah! i cant help but sympathise with the bad guy who just suckerpunched child extra no.28!'#so like. why are they all suddenly on board with massive systemic reinvention. where's the rage where's the bitterness#this wasn't a story on showing the villains as redeemable and working towards society sympathising with them#and slowly painfully coming to a conclusion where japan was ready to change as a COLLECTIVE#this was a story of showing a group of redeemable villains (first step CHECK) getting DEFEATED IN BATTLE#THEY ALL FUCKING DIED EXCEPT SPINNER AND PRESUMABLY COMPRESS#WE DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DABI AT THE END ONLY THAT HE WAS PUT IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION#HE WAS IN WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA AND DABI WAS BORN. 'DABI' AS A PERSONA MEANT NOTHING#we still have an abuser who didn't come to justice. we still have the corrupt government body now being led by the guy they trafficked#and abused and conditioned into the perfect soldier. do u think maybe his opinions are a little biased in regards to that gov. body#maybe. perhaps. slightly. and we still have hero charts!!!!!! every kid in the last chap is still obsessed w becoming a hero!!!!#and dont get me STARTEDDDDDDDDD on midoriya being a teacher. 'i think it's cute he finally gets a life of peace 🥺#this way he can help the next generation directly 🥺' womp to the fucking womp he was supposed to be the world's no.1 hero#he barely sees his friends anymore. 'it's realistic to adulthood!' i dont want realism in my superpowered teen and up manga#put them in the avengers mansion NOW#so as you can see i waffled regardless of saying i specifically wasn't gonna do that and some of these points bother me more than others#with some being personal I Didn't Like It and some being i genuinely truly believe it to be bad writing#but my summary is mha ultimately felt like a story where a group of individuals unlearned (eh) the beliefs of a toxic society#and tried to save the people that society failed and then they themselves DID NOT FUCKING SAVE THEM#(i have a hit on the redemption via death trope on the dark web for ten bajillion pounds)#and while yeah that isn't objectively an evil story to tell i think 1) it was done poorly#and 2) isn't what a lot of people believed the premise to be nor what i think horikoshi himself was trying to write#ask#mha spoilers#mha
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that post that goes “sorry my love language is acts of service and i’m only good at killing people/things” or whatever is so jason todd it hurts
#jason todd#red hood#EUGH this hit me right in the face as i was trying to fall asleep#vivi’s personal tag#when you want so badly to be unseen and all anyone does is look at you like you’re deranged#all you get anymore is pity or fear like youre nothing more than a rabid dog#all anyone ever wants is you the way you used to be but they’re dead and they’re never coming back#you died and they died with you but they’re all anyone ever sees when they look at you#a ghost haunting your own narrative when you’re still right fucking there#okay okay sorry i’m done#goodnight
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do���? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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really the evil dark urge/pre-canon dark urge is just about the shit we do for parental approval turned up to the max. doing everything for bhaal. praying to him in the stormshore tabernacle(?) leading to
that is his love! he literally kills you to show he loves you! that entire letter for forgiveness being several paragraphs of "i promise i will perform my duties and not allow this to distract me". the fact that the dark urge was literally crafted by his hand, personally, to be the embodiment of murder. the fact that he will destroy you if you resist. the fact that you will lose yourself if you fail.
#bg3 spoilers#I LIVED WITH A MOTHER WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS OKAY IT HITS DIFFERENT#trying to shift and adjust your own personality in order to please your parent. making excuses for the parts of you they dont want#the evil dark urge ESPECIALLY AT THE END/POST END isnt their own person anymore. theyre just. a weapon#you can play a dark urge loyal to bhaal and still have them get along with others. help out your party members. make that pact w gortash#but taking over that brain in bhaal's name makes them nothing but an instrument of bhaal's will#conditional parental love already sucks when youre a normal person can you imagine being the child of a god
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Life update: was trying to study for my psych exam and some guy walked into the library dressed in full skeletor garb. college is fun
#i physically recoiled it was so jarring#mouth literally agape like woah what the fuck#even skeletor has to hit the books……#..is nothing sacred anymore…..
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Staging concept: Ophelia carries around a book that she uses to press different flowers and plants. At one point we see her actually pressing one of the flowers Hamlet's given her before, and we get the impression that she wouldn't part with this book for the world. During the "Get thee to a nunnery" scene, Hamlet rips the book out of her hands, and she goes diving after it to make sure he didn't damage it. And during her final "mad scene", she starts tearing out the relevant pages (rosemary, pansies, fennel, columbines, etc.) to give to everyone present. Laertes is the only one to get the significance of his sister giving away parts of her prized possession, and it adds an extra layer to his grief.
#Some extra foreshadowing and a way to organically work in the book she's given in Act 3 Scene 1...#Listen I have a lot of feelings about how to stage Ophelia's final scene--for me it needs to be about *her*grief first and foremost.#It's so grossly easy to play it voyeuristically but this is a young woman who's been let down by everyone she thought she could trust#and now she's come to her lowest point where nothing feels like it matters anymore.#And that needs to hit the other characters present like a truck--they could have done something to actually *help* her#instead of using her for their own agendas but they didn't.#And for Laertes especially... that's his baby sister and he wasn't there for her and now he's watching her destroy something she loves.#Maybe he tries to give her the page back but she pushes it at him and there's a moment of agonizing eye contact between them#where he knows she still loves him but she's never felt so betrayed by everyone and there's nothing he can do to make it right.#hamlet#ophelia#shakespeare#the schemer speaks
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Tik Tok decided to make me feel things today Pt1
#that first line makes the 2020 injury even more traumatising cause you know he was think omg I can’t ride anymore like kill me knoe#also it’s so fascinating how intrinsically tied Marc’s emotions are depending on how his professional life is#like he’s always saying my personal life is seperate to my professional life and that’s true to some extent#but he is so tied to racing and making people feel happy and making the team happy#like in all in before mugello when he was going to announce that he was having his 4th surgery they said he didn’t have to ride and know#all I can think about is did he come back in 2020 to soon because he thought he was ready or did he come back because he thought he owed it#to Honda because he knew the bike wasn’t great and they would need him#marc marquez#mm93#and he’s so okay with pain as long as the pain wasn’t for nothing like 2021 must have been excruciating but he was getting podiums so the#pain was worth it but 2023 he was in pain and not enjoying and he was wasting his career so the pain stopped being a means to an end and it#became so bad he thought about stopping#even now after the surgeries there’s still going to be chronic pain and not just from the arm but the shoulder and because of all the hits#he’s had to his head he’ll probably get headaches easily#I do love that Shira is his emotional support dog that was with him throughout all the PT#like who’s he going to nap with now that Alex is moving out
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Do you ever think about how Dabi's "people live to laugh" quote has some dramatic irony now that it effectively predicted his ending and how fucking cruel it was. "whether we laugh or cry, the sun will rise again, impartial to it all" and hero society goes back to thinking the league of villains wasn't made of human beings, so it's okay to rejoice of the fact that they were put down like dogs. "so let's smile, himiko toga. People live to laugh" and Touya's last scene was about how what will kill him won't even be his injuries, but likely just plain old heartache. His heart so full of grief for the life he couldn't have, it threatened to give out, and his own doctors asked his family to leave him there to cry his eyes out alone
#I wasn't gonna say anything about this ending but it just hit me that he's not even allowed to smile anymore#And that's. That's such a Choice for a character who literally did nothing but despair since he turned 5#This manga had its highs and lows but this... This denies everything the series ever said about hope and change#Thyandra.txt
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