#when you want so badly to be unseen and all anyone does is look at you like you’re deranged

[vi-visected]

that post that goes “sorry my love language is acts of service and i’m only good at killing people/things” or whatever is so jason todd it hurts

[novarine-schvatel]

I’m backkkkkkkkkk~

Soooooooo… SymWeaver? 👀 Pretty Pretty Pleaseeeee

Picture this: Cute Platonic SymWeaver (at first) where they are just chatting normally and whatnot, then Satya asks him what it feels like to kiss someone, because she’s curious (like maybe she saw a couple kissing and it got her thinking).

Niran explains how it makes him feel when he kisses someone but he’s still waiting for the spark he’ll get when he kissed someone he really likes.

Satya then asks if she can kiss Niran so she knows if she likes it or not. She has sensory issues and worries that she’ll freak out over it, if it was with someone who didn’t understand her. (Because Niran gets it, she’ll feel less judged basically)

Niran is caught off guard and says he’s happy to do that. Satya leans in to kiss him but gets too embarrassed and asked him to kiss her instead.

They kiss and Niran goes a little too all in and it leads to the sweetest make out session, hands respectfully holding eachother. Niran feels the romantic spark between them.

After they stare into each others eyes and Satya recalls how she saw fireworks in her mind as they kissed

Niran’s heart swells and he stares at her so lovingly wanting to kiss her again but is respectful of her. They cuddle up platonically and watch a movie with Satya telling Niran she’s grateful for him and for not judging her.

It ends with Niran realising he’s in love with his best friend and Satya started to suspect there is more to their relationship and they thought

🌸💎

I love them so much!!

MINORS DNI.

its inappropriate🤭‼️

________🪷________

“You're so cute!”

“You're much cuter..!”

“Well you're cutest!” The female giggled as she reached out to her lover to give him a kiss.

“Hmm.”

Satya hummed, looking at the couple from a far, curiosity itching. She was yearning to do that..a kiss, she guesses that's what it is called. She wanted to know if she would be ok with it if anyone were to do it with her.

“Satya!”

Niran called out, hands on his hips with a matching pout on his lips.

“Yes yes bua..i'm coming.”

She gave a small smile before walking over to the cream haired male, glancing over at the couple one last time before they walked away.

________🪷________

“Is something on your mind, dearest?”

“it's nothing, bua..”

“I know when something is bothering you, my darling please tell me whats wrong..”

Satya sighed, a slight irritation with a hint of embarrassment in her tone.

“Bua..what does a kiss feel like?”

Niran's face lights up.

“I would guess it's soft and makes you feel all sorts of butterflies in your stomach!”

Satya tilts her head slightly, indicating she's confused. Why would people want bugs in their stomachs? The thought of it making her hands twitch and fidget, insecurity bubbling inside her at the thought of her not being normal again.

This doesn't go unseen by Niran, he takes her hands before kissing her knuckles.

“Forgive me, my lotus. I explained that pretty badly. But a kiss is an intimate act between 2 people who care and love each other very much, a way to display their affection for one another.” He smiled warmly before kissing her knuckles once more. “Like this..*chu* imagine that, but on your lips!”

“I'm waiting for the day i get to kiss someone i love! I want there to be a spark! A real connection, Like what we have satya! But more..romantic!” he pretends to 'fall', his other hand leaning on the bench to keep him up as he dramatically puts his free hand on his hair, “Oh, just imagine the romance!”

Satya smiles at her best friend's goofyness before curiosity takes her train of thought once more.

“Can we kiss, Niran?”

Niran almost choked on air, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

“I- i mean..if you don't want to that's fine of course, But we love and care for each other..right? W-would that be alright with you?” she fidgets with her hands, looking down at the floor, scared of the possible rejection.

“I would just like to know how it feels, if i like it or not.. so if someone does it to me i can react appropriately.”

Niran smiles before nodding, gently cupping her face. She leans in to kiss him, both of their eyes closing and waiting for the sweet sensation of their lips touching.

...

“Satya..?”

Niran opens his eyes to see that his best friend has returned to her original spot on the bench, face shying away from his. He laughs, assuming she probably got too shy.

“Bua..could yo-”

Before she could finish her sentence, the cream-haired male took one of her hands, interlacing his fingers with hers while the free hand cups her face, pulling her closer. Cutting her sentence off with a sweet and passionate kiss.

The raven-haired girl lets out a small whimper as Niran leans in closer, his tongue teasingly running its way over her soft lips, asking for permission. Not knowing social cues, satya's mouth remained closed.

Niran's neediness clouding his own judgement, the hand he was cupping her face with slowly reaches to the back of her head. Carefully, he lightly tugs at her hair, making her head tilt up as she let out a small gasp, the male slipping his tongue in as he guided their little make out session.

Satya could feel her heart beating out of her chest, it felt so good. She wanted more. But she couldn't pin point what the feeling was, before she could overthink more it was as if her thoughts melted away as her best friend runs his fingers on her back, a ticklish sensation making the make out session so much more enjoyable she thinks. She never knew a kiss could ever feel this good. Its as if there were fireworks going off in her head, as if that kiss led her to seeing stars. She felt so good. Is this what all kisses feel like?

Niran eventually parts away from her, a string of saliva connecting the two of them as if their bodies weren't already close enough to one another. He felt butterflies in his stomach, an insatiable need to keep his hands, his body, their lips as close together as possible. But he knew he had to let her process the situation.

They stare at each other lovingly, a satisfied smile on their faces as She recalls how she felt during the kiss. Making the blonde give her a teasing comment which she responds with a glare.

They eventually go home to cuddle up on the couch, setting up a movie they've been wanting to watch together for a while. Although they were back to treating each other like normal, Niran can't help but stare longingly at his roommate's lips, his own lips wanting to meet hers once more, hardly being able to maintain his composure as they cuddled. He was sure he was falling for her, he felt that spark he's been looking for all along. He's sure more kisses are to come in the future as long as he plays patient and get her to be his girlfriend one day.

“Thank you for today, Bua.”

“Of course, Satya. If you ever want to try kissing again, i'll always be here.” He winks, playfully nudging her side as she lightly pushing him off with a smile. The movie starting as they both get comfortable in each others arms.

Oh, my dear Satya. You have no idea how much i want you. Thank you for making me realize that. One day, when you feel the same as i, When we are more than friends. I'll make you feel like you are the only girl in the world. I love you, my dearest.

The way my chest fluttered earlier.. is that what he called "butterflies in your stomach"? I do not know.. but maybe, just maybe. We can be more than friends one day, Bua..

Although the two had a complex relationship, one thing they share is their love for one another. Platonically or romantically, they were never going to leave each other's side. Maybe one day one will confess and take their relationship a step further.

_________________

AAAA I HOPE IT'S TO YOUR LIKING! 🥹The ending and writing the actual make out part was especially hard for me, I'm not used to writing spicy things 😫 but i do hope it's atleast somewhat readable!! 🥹🙏

I ENJOYED THIS WAY MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD I LOVE THESE 2 SO MUCH 🥹😫🫶

[telomeke]

15 people, 15 questions

I got tagged by @colourme-feral (at this link here), @pandasmagorica (at this link here), @wen-kexing-apologist (at this link here), @dribs-and-drabbles (at this link here), @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas (at this link here) and @airenyah (at this link here). Thanks for tagging me guys! 🥰 Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season. 💖🎄

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1. Are you named after anyone?

Not anyone in particular; Mom's dad set out the names for the children of his sons but not his daughters. So Mom gave me a name that incorporates the concepts bright and strong. I sometimes like to think I was named after a laundry detergent. 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

I can't remember exactly… I never used to cry, not at stories or movies, unless they involved dogs dying (because that was my first exposure to grief, when my little furry boy died on me during my teen years). After more family members passed away though, I felt my core shift and now know what it is like to be moved to tears by a more human-centric grief and loss (I think I wasn't allowing myself to feel that before, as part of that armor you put on when out in the world as an adult).

And ever since I learnt my lessons I've cried a lot more often, sharing heartfelt moments with characters on the page or on the screen because I'm less afraid of showing emotion (as in, I no longer think of it as some kind of weakness). I think the last time I cried may have been watching Last Twilight? When I watched tough guy Mhok shedding his hard protective shell to love Day unconditionally, with the motivations behind his acts of love going mostly unnoticed and unseen by the object of his affections ��� e.g., the sunflower just before August turns up late, setting up Day's surprise birthday party and basically giving him away to others when you know his heart is telling him to keep Day for himself. 😢 (I've not watched Ep.7 yet, so I don't know if the meaning of any of this will change moving forward, or if there are more tears in store though.) And yes, I think the last tear I shed was when Mhok grabbed Day to kiss him at the end of Ep.6, to prove that he was loving him truly for his own sake, not plying him with secondhand emotion out of pity as Day had been led to expect from the world.

I may write more about Last Twilight in the future… It's easy to think of romantic love as a gift to be received, but Mhok really does exemplify that the human nature of love is rather more tied to wanting to give of oneself, and (for romantic love at least) that experience only achieves its fullest completion when it is met with the recipient giving you their love in return (or crushing your heart with rejection or indifference instead). And I do see the parallels between love rejected and grief; "grief is just love with no place to go" rings so very true.

3. Do you have kids?

No I don't, and it is maybe the one regret in life I will allow myself. "No regrets" is a great motto to live by, but if I could do things over again I might choose to have kids (whether my own biological kids or my own adopted ones; I'm a little too far gone and set in my ways to consider this now though). Never wanted kids before (noisy, troublesome, a dampener holding you back I told my younger self) – but when my nephew came along it was like somebody flicked a switch and I realized it was OK to feel that kind of unconditional love for another human being, for no other reason than the privilege of loving them. And I think being a parent (unlike a romantic partner) allows you to love truly unconditionally, without expecting anything in return.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Used to like playing soccer/basketball/badminton as a kid, but only unseriously and very badly. Nowadays I swim a lot and the gym is my second home (but I'm not at all some bulked-up gorilla; I don't have the genetics nor the inclination to abuse my body with steroids, which is the only way to look like the bodybuilders and fitness models IMO). But exercise does wonders for your mental health in addition to your physical fitness; it's been my refuge whenever things got horrifyingly stressful in life by providing an outlet for stress, plus endorphins to make you feel better. It just doesn't feel like it would be any good when you're going through it, but you can sense it after. Which is also part of why it's so hard to get yourself up and exercising when you're down; the hardest part is overcoming the inertia that is doubly weighted whenever life is stressing you out. I always have to remind myself that the more I don't want to go to the gym, the more it is I probably need to go.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm? What, ✨MOI✨? (Yes I'm being sarcastic here. I can be a bit too barbed with people I know, so I've learnt to pare it back, but my propensity for sarcasm has done me no favors in the workplace. It's also why I understand people putting up hard-shell defenses – shoutout to Pran in Bad Buddy and Mhok in Last Twilight.)

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I think their general demeanour and what their overall body language is conveying.

7. What’s your eye color?

Darkest, darkest brown; so dark it looks black in all but the brightest light. You can't see where my pupils end and my irises begin.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. Don't like horror movies and I won't pay to watch them.

9. Any talents?

I have a number of interests, but whether or not I have any talent in them is for others to judge because – even though I'm proud of some of the things I've done – my ever-critical perfectionist's eye can never fail to see flaws and things I could've done better. Everything is always falling short in some way. So my interests are: languages and linguistics (I can handle a few languages, but only a couple have acceptable fluency while the rest are still in pretty rough shape, IMO). Love to write (in English only, more focused on fact than fiction, but even then the inspiration doesn't always flow). I have an ear (but not an abiding love) for music, so I will often be singing if I'm alone and need more than silence around me. I'm interested in biological sciences (wanted to be a palaentologist as a little boy; isn’t that every kid's dream at some point?) – animals, plants, and nature fascinate me. I used to like dabbling in visual arts, but that's been deadened a bit by having to work with some of that in my job (maybe that's why the visual aspects of BL will always fascinate me though). And I think I do have a knack for research, looking things up and putting facts together so that they can convey some kind of message or bigger truth.

10. Where were you born?

In the delivery room of a maternity ward. My roots are in Asia though, if that's what this question is getting at. 😆

11. What are your hobbies?

Scrolling through Tumblr takes up way too much of my time, but yes that is one of my hobbies. I watch BLs now and then, and from that I go on to do the odd write-up about aspects that interest me (especially culture, linguistics and BL visuals). Another current obsession is baking up fruitcake variations (part of the culinary landscape of the season) and this will continue as a hobby until I've baked it out of my system. I love to watch cooking shows, but I do this more to pick up tips on how to make my meals quicker, easier and tasty enough for me (I don't love cooking, but I cook a lot, to get around dietary intolerances more than anything else). Also – gym and swimming a few times a week.

12. Do you have any pets?

None at the moment. We had dogs growing up and I am an avowed dog lover. But when you're a working adult it wouldn't be fair to leave a dog alone for most of the day while you're out at the office, so I never got one after I began working. Plus dogs don't last long (15 years is already geriatric for a pooch) and I'm not ready to face the shattering grief when they have to leave you. But never say never... Maybe I'll get a kitty for a change? 🤔💖

13. How tall are you?

I'm tallish; tall in some countries, average in others. Taller than Singto, shorter than Ohm. 😆

14. Favorite subject in school?

Art and art history? We had a dream lecturer who made the subject come alive. Also a psychology elective that I took, for all its insights into the human mind. In school school it was a mix depending on my mood and the topic of the day: English, geography, biology, chemistry, mathematics, or art. Didn't like physics or economics at all.

15. Dream job

Something in research and analysis backing up the boys in The Sign. 😆 Or maybe volunteering at a charity to help with food/housing (but I can probably only think about doing this after securing my own retirement).

Onward tagging (I can't count so don't expect this to be 15): @7nessasaryevils, @crzshaly437, @faillen, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @neuroticbookworm, @greenreflections, @recentadultburnout, @thecleopatrawannabe, @nihilisticcondensedmilk, @allthegoodusernamesaretakenhuh, @lamonnaie, @non-binarypal7, @twig-tea, @williamrikers, @gillianthecat, @hughungrybear, @solitaryandwandering, @starryalpacasstuff, @rane-ab, @serafyne, @silvercrystal1, @tsukitsuki077, @5raccoonsinatrenchcoat, @vegasandhishedgehog, @reformedcharacter, @writerwithoutsound, @bengiyo, @gelofhellyeah, @shortpplfedup, @dc-alves, @zhaagdewin, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts and anybody else who wants to play! As always no pressure if you don't wish to play either.

If you've already played do tag me with a link so I can read your 15 answers too! 🥰 (And I left out some mutuals because I see you've already been tagged; let me know too if you've already played so I can head on out to read your post as well! 😍)

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[thatlittlenoisefeyremakes]

Lavender Rain

CHAPTER ONE PREVIEW

summary: preview of something I've had in drafts for years not concrete enough of a plot but wanted to test the waters! This is just the first half of the first chapter if anyone wants more I'll make it if you don't I'll lay down in traffic no biggie

warnings: angst? Cannon being tossed to the wind azzie is mine now mf hope maas can fight

The cottage looked the same as it always did, tucked away behind wards set by the high lord himself. The hum of its power low and subtle but pulsing through the earth as he stepped across the mossy pathway. Sun beat down on the thatched roof, a whisper of a breeze gently making its way through the countless plants, teeming with life as bees worked tirelessly through the sprawling garden. Velaris was home for Azriel. More than Illyria for certain, but a part of him, of his heart only felt truly settled here. Hidden away in a meadow in a valley tucked away from the world. A private oasis and one that offered true safety. It wasn't grand like the house of wind or the townhouse no matter how humble Rhys claimed his lifestyle to be. It was small and only offered what was needed. But it felt alive. It felt as if the moment he stepped through those wards he was able to shed the title of spymaster and even shadowsinger. A place where he could simply just be.

He strode through the garden path up through the small fence latching the gate behind him, a singular shadow rushing off to announce his arrival. Slipping through the front door and the second set of wards As the smell of fresh herbs hit his nose flooding his senses his mouth watering in response. He wasted no time in dropping the satchel gripped in his hand on the large wooden table before embracing the culprit of the meal that had his stomach crying out.

"Hello darling." She smiled as he placed a kiss to her head.

"Whatever that is I hope you're making plenty I can smell it from the garden."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Oh please don't start. You'd think the mother hen-ing would have stopped ages ago." He laughed beginning to unpack the provisions he brought.

"I'm your mother Azriel am I not supposed to worry?"

"I fear that's all you do lately." He didn't intend for the melancholy tone to be laced into his words but it was there none the less. Almost regretting the way they sounded sliding off his tongue.

"Not all I do." She said softly. "There's been improvement." His throat held back the words that itched at walls of his mind. Questions he needed to ask despite fearing the answers. He chose the easiest option.

"Where is she?"

"Resting. She's been doing a lot of that. Resting."

"Anything new?"

"She's steadier. Still thin as bone but I'm hoping she'll eat tonight."

"Is she refusing?"

"Not refusing to eat. Just not eating much and her body won't hold what little she does down often enough."

"Has she said anything new?" He watched as his mothers shoulders dropped ever so slightly. Her head bowing a fraction of an inch.

"She's quiet. Answers a few questions here and there but nothing of substance. She's bathing on her own but she mostly sleeps. If not she just sits. Stares at something unseen."

"We should get her to the garden. Regardless of anything else sunlight and fresh air would do her good."

"Wake her. Take her out my chair is sat near the potatoes planters."

"Fence still broken?"

"Fence, roof, wood house you name it." She laughed waving him off.

"Mother we talked about this."

"You talked I listened. I'm perfectly capable of fixing this place myself I've just been preoccupied."

"Which is why I'll take care of it when I'm here. Why are you so stubborn."

"Who's the mother hen now?" She smirked pointing a wooden spoon at the Illyrian.

"You'll be the death of me." He rolled his eyes dragging a hand down his face. His tone anything but matching the playful spirit of his mother.

"Dramatic males. Stop bellyaching if you want to help so badly do so. Take her with you for that fresh air you talked about. She's resting in the back room." He nodded placing a twin kiss to the one he greeted her with before shuffling back to the only closed door in the cottage.

The hall was narrow for an Illyrian, the cottage not built for such a large male let alone one of Azriel's size. His head closer to the ceiling than comfortable, and his wings tucked tight against his back, not just because of the space. He had observed plenty and quickly realized that though she was barely present that males, particularly him had her tensing up the moment his eyes were on her. It's hard to be anything but intimidating when you're standing at 6'7" with shoulders almost as broad as the hallway.

His fingers gently rapt on the old oak door. Maybe it was foolish to have expected an answer. It was more often than not silence he was met with, but the few times he had gotten a hum or question back had him trying more and more. One more attempt of his knuckles on the wood had soft words spilling from him asking for something in return no matter how small. The opaque darkness around him kept at bay with his mind as it egged him on to rush. To push. To outright overstep and pull the door open with an urgency. To at least let them slink in ahead of him more than he'd allow. Incessant they were but he was the Shadowsinger and they obeyed to him and him alone. They reported a shift by the window that had him buzzing. More hushed tones laced in his attempt at a warning to his entrance before he twisted the glass knob.

Coolcoolcool love you bye

[quill-and-whetstone]

Deep Dive - Dragon Age: Absolution

Part 1 - Turnabout's Foul Play Part 2 - Gilding a Thorny Rose Part 3 - Blood Keeps Telling

Part 4 - An Unbreakable Broken Heart

There is one question, and one question only, that drives the central narrative of Dragon Age: Absolution.

“Will Miriam be okay?”

I’m not exaggerating when I say that literally everything else is either side plot or entirely not the point, and I can back that up fairly comprehensively...

One might say that the story is about the heist of the Circulum Infinitus. That would be incorrect. For one thing, we don’t start the story being at all aware of the heist or the Circulum, so it clearly isn’t the thesis statement. For another, we literally never learn what the Circulum is actually capable of. We learn a thing it can do, which makes it important to Rezaren and Miriam. The rest is vagaries. Cassandra Pentaghast—resident moral authority from the much lauded Inquisition—all but punches out the 4th wall to tell the audience the reason anyone outside of Miriam’s personal struggle should care about it in expositive flashback: “All you need to know is that it is an extremely dangerous artifact fueled by blood magic, and I—for one—cannot recall any good coming from something powered by murder.” Outside of that, a spirit of Wisdom tells Rezaren “you do not comprehend the full danger of this artifact” and tells us by way of a bite sized soliloquy to no one that “such power should never have been in mortal hands.” We also know that Hira wants it to give it to someone else in a plan that basically goes “Step 1: Get Circulum, Step 2: ???, Step 3: Tevinter burns.” So we know it’s… big and scary? Something something doomsday? But even from that angle… we don’t care about Tevinter! All we see of it is a series of reasons it stinks! So that big scariness isn’t the point of the story, it’s just establishing a MacGuffin to motivate the characters into action. Even the actual heist for the Circulum is effectively complete by the end of Episode 2, so… just objectively, not the point.

The story is also, critically, not about the ensemble cast. Looking at the main antagonists, Rezaren’s goals are legitimately entirely Miriam-centric and Tassia exists as a foil to him to show the extent of just how badly he’d throw any shred of decency away to Get her. I’ve already discussed how Hira’s role in the story is to mess with Miriam, her every motivation and action serving the foremost purpose of making Miriam do or feel something. Fairbanks existed (for all of two episodes) to set up the plot dominoes, shove Miriam into them so they’d start falling, and then promptly die because his ontological role in the story was complete. I conspicuously haven’t even really touched the rest of the named characters until now: Roland, Lacklon, and Qwydion. That’s on purpose, because individually they don’t actually matter. Outside of cursory nods to where they come from in the setting, they have no backstory. They exist to provide a little bit of interpersonal filler for pacing reasons, and to be a little cohort that we care just enough about to be invested in their collective relationship with Miriam. Specifically with Miriam, too, because they all share exactly the same character arc: going from being involved for petty personal reasons (mostly a paycheck) to being there for her, facing down a problem that in the short term revolves around her entirely and in the long term only matters to them because she inspires them to care. It’s an arc that echoes, and follows, Miriam’s own.

Now as backwards as I've taken this, relating everything else that isn't Miriam back to her, let's talk about the woman herself.

It's Episode 1: "A Woman Unseen." The show starts, and it opens on… Miriam, being witty and callous and bucking authority while she does so. Roland is there mainly to react to her as she sets a bunch of unnamed mooks up to fail to serve her own ends, then tells her boss where he can stick it about her methods. Roland… waves pom poms, more or less. Hira and Fairbanks show up and we see the first time this cool mysterious rogue is thrown off her balance. We also immediately see her practical compassion. When it comes to real consequences--a real threat of getting caught by the law with a harsh sentence or getting murdered by her for threatening the ex she hasn't gotten over--she tells her fellow thieves to simply walk away. "Your children need their father." Even the boss she's been butting heads with so fervently gets off relatively light for attempting to kill her while her back is turned. We're shown that she's tough, smart, quick, caring, and potentially much deadlier than she's willing to be. The group gets their exposition and travel montage and she's thorny through all of it. We see what a sacrifice it is for her to even go back to Tevinter, never mind to do the job they are asking of her, and at the end of the episode her budding allies stupidly endanger everything she's done sticking up for her… but in doing so, they also show what is probably some of the only genuine care she's ever received. As she says, "that means something." We discover that she more or less knew a way in all along and was clearly hesitating to use it, searching for another option. What is it that motivates her and subsequently enables the plot to happen at all? A show of ill conceived friendship, and the first spark of real relationships. It's Miriam choosing to let these well meaning idiots in, just a little. The plot moves at the pace of her growth.

We come to the heist itself, and the rest of the crew takes off to do their various and sundry tasks, leaving Miriam alone so that she doesn't have to go any further into danger. Immediately, she is tested in a way that is a nearly comical level of moral hypothetical: tattle on a child to the person looking to beat them, or endanger her mission to protect them. Again Miriam chooses to let someone else take the fall to serve her agenda, except this time with immediate regret. As she attempts to rectify her mistake we get our first belly of the whale moment, with the heist going completely haywire without her. The rest of the story from that moment on is all involved--protagonists and antagonists alike--attempting to recover from the fallout, and it's telling that the moment of greatest chaos and failure stems from the crew's greatest disunity and Miriam's least involvement.

Except from a certain standpoint… the heist was a success, right? They did get the Circulum, serendipitously the unknown traitor was even trapped and unable to betray them further, and they were right at their exit. There was nothing actually stopping what was left of the crew from leaving with the goods, completing the job, and getting paid. Nothing except for Miriam and her better nature, because from then on it's her priorities that guide the protagonists' collective actions.

Miriam does not care about the Circulum. Not even a little. If there was any doubt about that she spells it out in Episode 5 with absolutely zero uncertainty, going on to state what is important to her and what she's looking for in the people around her who could be friends:

"I don't care about the damn Circulum! Look, whatever happened, we all risked our lives for each other, so I have to believe that we're at least trying to be decent people. Hira is out there right now, suffering, and I know how to save her but I can't do it alone. I need some decent people. Anyone who wants to help me has earned my trust, and forgiveness, and gratitude, and whatever else they're looking for. Anyone who wants the Circulum can take it and go."

This is the make-or-break moment for the protagonists as a cohesive unit, and to my mind one of two candidate scenes for the climax of the show. Miriam is showing exactly who she is, laying her cards out, and letting herself be vulnerable in asking for help from people who have earned just the smallest degree of her trust. When she asks for "decent people" she's appealing to the rest of the cast to put profit aside, but crucially she's not asking them to do that for a lofty ideal or the fate of the world or something either. She's asking them to be good to her. To help her not because it would benefit them, but because she's going into danger and needs support.

What is important to Miriam? What does she value? Friendship and love, all the way down.

This is a woman who has been dealt grievous familial trauma, and who lives in a world that is not kind to her. On the one hand, of course it then follows that some part of her is eternally yearning for connection. On the other, it's so beautiful to me the way she's still willing to actively seek it. Despite how her emotions go through the wringer with people, how brutally she's abused by Rezaren or betrayed by Hira, that core caring still comes through in ways that feel authentic and grounded. Miriam isn't some innocent woobie made infinitely sweeter and gentler by her pain, as I too often see in depictions of traumatized people. She's developed the skills to protect herself, be that her sharp tongue, her suspicion, her callous, or the ability to literally fight well that so often serves as an overt measure of the force of a person in the fantasy genre. It all makes her difficult and at times mean and makes her trust slowly. But she isn't broken, or past hope of recovery. Deep down inside, something in her still wants to trust. Still wants to connect. It's a little light inside her that refuses to go out, despite everything. It makes her eternally gullible, eternally vulnerable, and yet paradoxically the fact that she can still be hurt that way is also the sign that she still has yet to give up. To borrow a phrase: despite everything, it's still her.

I always want to cry thinking about Miriam, because I recognize myself in that struggle. I think that among the more vitriolic reactions I've seen to her character (the ones that aren't racism or homophobia, anyway) they come from a reaction to that same thing, because it's a painful place to be in. Nobody who's hurting wants to be able to be hurt again. An often revisited theme with my therapist is how much I hate "being a sucker forever" and it can be extremely hard to hear that being open to more suffering can be "good" for any reason. It would be easier, simpler, to hear that actually it's okay to just turn off the switch and match the world's energy. Return the hostility, and not be judged for it. To be given license by a story (as all stories are, to some extent, statements on how things "should" be) to be as bulletproof and shameless as the people who cause the hurt are to us. To me, however, that is all running circles around a fundamental truth of being human: that having a heart is painful, and seeing someone be brave enough to keep theirs open anyway is beautiful.

In the end, of course, Miriam is okay. I get to melt as the story rewards her for being true to herself even while presenting to real consequences of that. She gives Hira yet another chance, tells her that if they can just move on from the Circulum and Hira's hate of Tevinter "we can try again, free from everything." Tells her "I just need you to say that I'm more important than this." Of course, inevitably, Hira betrays her again. When Miriam wakes she opens and closes her hand in a way that both draws the audience's attention to the fact that the Circulum is gone from it… and also conspicuously mimics the gesture people tend to make when they're looking for another hand to hold. But she doesn't crumple or hide, that's her growth. Empowered by the new friends she's made, who vow to stick with her without promise of reward, she takes on the task of stopping Hira for the sake of the people whose lives she might destroy. Not for honor, or revenge, or for kingdoms, but for people who might suffer as she suffered at the hands of yet another Tevinter noble's agenda.

Miriam is cool as hell, with her backflips and her sneaky speedy style and her zillion knives. More than that, though, she's a bleeding heart. A cycle breaker. Someone who just can't stop caring, no matter what happens to them. I will never stop appreciating her for that, and if in writing this I've shared even the tiniest iota of that appreciation with you then so much the better.

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

[papermint-airplane]

Previously on The Non-Canon Just Because I Feel Like It Bachelor Challenge...

Seven contestants answered the casting call to join a Bachelor Challenge reality show. Once they arrived to the filming location, however, they were rendered unconscious by an unseen force while signing the standard reality show waiver, then abducted into parts unknown of OUTER SPACE!!! where they regained consciousness and were forced to sign a new waiver they weren't allowed to read.

Despite the fact that this show was now taking a decidedly different format than the one they signed up for, the girls decided to remain calm and proceed as if everything was perfectly normal. Well, some of them.

Eleanor: Am I the only one weirded out by this?

Their mission was to compete in challenges to win the heart of Aiden Ayy, our alien bachelor. Unlike the contestants, Aiden never signed up for a reality show in the first place. Instead, he was abducted from his Earth home where he had been stranded for 18 years, and held captive in a separate pod from the women. Why was he chosen to be the bachelor in this reality show? Because...uh...because of rational non-petty reasons unrelated to any sort of deep-seated desire to see this particular man suffer.

It's simply because he...uh...he looks good on camera. Yeah, that's it.

See? The camera loves him.

Anyway. *cough*

The first challenge, a waffle-making contest, was held and the apparently-duplicitous Rose was the failure of the week.

She was ejected from the house, but not before she could reveal her true colors as a spiteful sore loser who vowed to return and do whatever it took to win.

Why does she want to win so badly? Does she care about Aiden at all or is defeating the competition and being declared the victor the only thing that matters to her?

Bailey, the challenge winner, became the first contestant to go on a one-on-one date with Aiden. The two, though awkward at first, began to hit it off with one another.

That's when Bailey dropped the bombshell that she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend who she had been forbidden to see by her father. Bailey then tried to forfeit the competition but I, the all-powerful Watcher, refused to let her leave of her own volition. If anyone leaves this house, it's because I said they can, understand? That's how this show works, and don't any of you forget it!

Bailey moped for a bit.

Viridia slapped the shit out of Kitty.

The two events were unrelated, mind you, but it was hilarious. I just had to see it again. Sometimes, I just replay that part over and over again just to see the stupid look on her face.

The next challenge began *cough* shortly afterwards, but there was something decidedly off about this one.

It soon became apparent that Rose, the thorn in my side she is, had somehow managed to evade my security measures and sneaked her way into my control room during my lunch break, locking me out in the process. For whatever lame-brained reason, she forced the contestants to ride a bull to prove their commitment to Aiden which is just so incredibly stupid to me. I mean what does riding a bull have to do with dating someone? Is this a sex thing? Is this a metaphor about taking charge in a relationship? Did any thought go into this whatsoever?

Predictably, Kitty, the contestant with the largest proverbial stick lodged firmly up her proverbial ass, lost. Even though this challenge was not my idea, after valiantly wresting control of the competition from Rose (entirely off screen so you'll have to imagine how that went down) I decided that Kitty's loss was canon. Honestly, I just wanted to get rid of her. Her constant lectures on propriety were bringing down the whole vibe.

Bailey attempted to throw the competition yet again, but it was Kitty who was ultimately ejected from the house much to the delight of me, Viridia, and the viewing public at large.

Speaking of Viridia, she was the winner of the challenge, and just as soon as I get this jerry-rigged satellite back into position to continue my pirate broadca--I mean, completely legitimate broadcast --she will be going on a one-on-one date with Aiden.

Where will the competition go from here? It's anyone's guess! Will the growing alliance between Eleanor and Bailey become an issue for me maintaining control of the house? Will Rose return to wreak havoc once again? Will Viridia blow out Aiden's eardrums when it's just the two of them in close proximity with each other? Will my devious machinations be revealed? Will the various intergalactic law enforcement agencies who have been keeping a keen eye on this completely legitimate broadcast finally locate the planet the hostages--I mean contestants are being held on? Will Tumblr stop messing up the format of my posts so the pictures are in the body of text instead of all clumped together at the top of the post?

Find out soon on...

The Non-Canon Just Because I Feel Like It Bachelor Challenge!

[Beginning] [Previous] [Next]

[silveredfeathers]

Musharna Mail; a nightmare… a memory?

It feels like perhaps this should’ve been left in the past.

- - -

TWs Include: GRAPHIC INJURY, MINOR GORE(??), DEATH.

Summary: Someone angers a horde of wild Lunatone. They do not take kindly to this, and attack the weak human. It does not go well.

- - -

The frigid air burns your lungs as you dash wildly through the night; the mad glee and elation you feel at the first taste of freedom gives you energy when you should’ve collapsed minutes ago. They’re looking for you, you know that. They’re trying to chase you but utter joy makes you faster, despite it all.

By the light that shines upon all- you’re free! You’re free from shackles and locked doors and… you didn’t know the darkness could be so beautiful as you marvel at the stars; stars you have never seen in your 25 years of life.

The darkness was always something to be feared. An evil to be quelled by you and your light- but there must be some mistake..!

…Evil couldn’t possibly be this gorgeous.

You suddenly gasp as you’re sent sprawling forward, right over the edge of a steep hill. You were too busy staring at the stars to see where you ran.

You hit your chin hard and feel as you bite your tongue, your mouth suddenly tasting of thick paint; you tumble and hear a sharp crack in your arm, and find it feels numb as you continue to roll and stumble down.

You lay there for a bit as your decent suddenly stops, your heart feels as if it’s trying to climb out of your throat with how wildly it’s beating. You giggle a bit. It hurts, it hurts so much but… this is proof you’re more than a catalyst. A bridge between god and mortals. Simply a light to quell all darkness; how ironic was that?

A creature of light, injured after becoming enamored with darkness. It’s giddying.

Suddenly a looming noise shook you, and you felt as if everything went dead silent as your eyes widened. You sat up, ever so slowly, trying not to wince at your twisted arm, before turning your head only to be met with… eyes. Hundreds of glowing red eyes, winking in and out of existence.

What… what were those…?

You try to apologize, to stand and flee from the mortifying sight before you hear a crunch once more, as an indescribable weight hits your collarbone, sending you sprawling forward with a desperate gasp. You turn to look at your assailant- but there’s too many- you can only see darkness and glowing eyes blocking your vision.

You try to run again, and one of the things strikes your leg, causing the bone to shatter.

It hurt

It hurt so badly.

You try to pray to the god that others have devoted your life to as more and more cloud your vision.

You feel like you’re being hit with boulders; you numbly reach out your hands to protect yourself, but they’ve already been maimed and mutilated by the vicious blows; black inky substance covers both you and your unseen assailants.

You die.

You are not the first. You will not be the last.

…

☀️ < Welcome, and may your waxy memories be spared from the Sun’s wrath. > ☀️

"whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck-?"

He wakes up trembling, phantom pain still flowing through him while forcing tears to tickle the corners of his eyes. He wants to cry out for help, but nothing anyone can do right now will relieve him of the nightmare that was freshly burned into his mind. It was so vivid, so real, as if truly his own. He can still feel the strange dark liquid staining him despite it not truly being there.

The tears finally let go of his eyes as he's once again crying quietly into a pillow.

[kimetsunoyaibawritings]

Burn like the Sun

Rating: General

Relationship: Reader/Kyojuro

Summary: “Simply knowing you are safe is a plentiful reward in itself.”

As a survivor of the Infinity Train accident, the reader seeks out the man who had saved them to try and offer some sort of proper thanks. And while he is severely injured -- enough to have to lay down his duties as a Hashira -- Kyojuro is nonetheless happy to know that his actions had protected someone.

"Is this the home of Kyojuro Rengoku?"

The question pulls the attention of the young boy standing outside the front of the gate of the vast home behind him, who had been sweeping diligently before your approach.

His bright, firey-colored hair is striking, but it is dwarfed immediately by the sharp red of his eyes as they move up to look at you. The resemblance to your savior is striking -- so much that you are sure that this is the right home before he even opens his mouth to speak.

"I-It is, yes," he says, voice oddly timid. "May I ask uh, why you are looking for him?"

He can't be older than twelve or thirteen. You try to offer him a comforting smile and gesture with your chin down to the small, cloth-wrapped bundle in your arms.

"I was one of the people he saved from the train accident a few weeks ago. I heard he was badly injured because of it and I..." you let the words trail for a moment as the boy (his brother? his son?) stares at you with a look that is not at all accusatory, but sharp all the same.

You clear your throat and speak, tone renewed, "I wanted to show him my appreciation and wish him well for his recovery."

At first the boy doesn't say anything in response. In the growing silence, you almost feel foolish. It had been hard enough to learn the man's name in the first place after the accident, but something about his presence had left a moment of terror and hopelessness instead with such warmth and comfort that the simple prospect of gratitude seemed the least you could offer.

Lost among your own thoughts and worries, the sound of the boy's voice rings out and drags you back into the moment.

"Let me go ask him first, if that's alright."

You're barely able to offer but a syllable of a reply before he's already slipped past the front gate and out of sight into the grand house beyond. It is as large as you were told, though you can't recall any prominent businessman nor politician with the family name of Rengoku. Some of your contacts had called him a swordsman -- had his family once served as samurai?

The possibilities proffered more questions than offered answers, leaving you to simmer in your own curiosity for several minutes until the young fire-haired boy emerged from the house and hurried towards you.

"He says you can see him -- he's also happy to know you're okay."

The boy -- Senjuro, you later learn as his name -- quickly explains how to get to Kyojuro's room, though you're too lost in the warmth in your chest from the too-simple notion 'he's happy you're okay' to pay all that much attention past the first two turns. But you thank him all the same and shuffle towards the house, leaving Senjuro to continue sweeping up with only the slightest, softest curiosity in his eyes.

Once inside the house, you’re taken aback by how… empty it feels. You’d expect a home as large as this to be busy with people — whether family or workers tending to it. You find neither, greeted instead by silence and an unnerving amount of peace.

It doesn’t take long to start trying to recall the directions that the young Rengoku boy had given you. A turn down the left hallway, past the third door and then… ah?

You couldn’t quite recall after that. Left or right? Was there another hall, or was Kyojuro’s room along the outside? One question bumbled into another until your unsureness twisted itself up into a ball of knots. Despite the confusion, you didn’t want to seem even more foolish by moving back to Senjuro and asking for directions again when he had gone out of his way to describe them once already. So you stand there, frozen by your own indecision at the edge of a corner-

Until someone suddenly turns it, running straight into you with enough force to leave you stumbling backwards. You would have fallen on your ass if it wasn’t for the fact that the same offender reached out suddenly and grabbed your arms, which were otherwise holding with a vice grip on the wrapped bundle still against your chest.

“I’m so sorry!” a bright voice offers, soft but merrily. “I didn’t see you standing there. Are you alright?”

It takes a moment for your thoughts to straighten and your gaze to fix upon the person who had both run into you and kept you from toppling backwards.

Blonde hair with firey tips, eyes brighter than rubies and sharper than a fine point. Though his face is covered in bandages and there’s a patch over his left eye, the recognition feels like icewater dumped over your head.

“K-Kyojuro Rengoku?” you ask, embarrassed in the stutter of your own voice.

“Yes?” the man tilts his head. You’re not able to say anything further before he suddenly winces, pulling his arms back against his body and drawing your gaze down over the rest of his body — as well as his multitude of injuries. Broken bones and layers of bandages seemed to but scratch the surface for all that he is dealing with, which made you feel the heavy weight of gratitude twice, no, three times over in his saving your life.

“Shouldn’t you be laying down?”

Kyojuro merely laughs. Though the sound must pain him, it doesn’t muffle the blossoming warmth of the noise as it fills the air around your ears. It’s strange, in a way; does the sound of his voice often have this effect on people?

“I’m well enough to walk,” he finally says, pain and aches hidden so dutifully behind his eyes that you have to second-guess yourself whenever his lips press together in a brief, but tense line. A smile, however, quickly moves across his face. “I thought it would be easier if I met you halfway so you didn’t get lost! You are the one who came to visit me, correct?”

You nod.

“Y-yeah. I’m uh. One of the people you… saved. On the train, a few weeks ago. I wanted to thank you and… maybe get to know you a little bit.”

The man watches you silently as you explain yourself, but not for a moment does a sense of judgement press on your shoulders from his attention. He simply listens, politely waiting for you to finish before responding.

“It must have been hard to find me,” he comments almost idly, some mixture of amused and impressed. “How did you manage it?”

The question is filled with an odd sort of praise, so you lower your head down until your eyes are on the ground and your mind is a shambling mess trying to piece words together.

“I uh. I have some friends in high places, you could say.”

“Well!” he chuckles. “That almost sounds like a threat!”

“Oh no, no no no no-” flustered, you immediately raise your eyes up and begin waving one hand about frantically as if to dissuade the notion entirely. “I promise I didn’t mean that as a— I mean, my family—… I…”

Your broken explanation is cut short when Kyojuro reaches up a hand towards your face, index finger curling ever so gently beneath your chin that you barely feel the heat of his skin against yours.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, and for a moment you feel your heartbeat go still. “I promise I meant it only as a jest. You went to great lengths simply to see me, and you certainly didn’t need to.” His hand slowly lowers, but your gaze is held to his as if bound by unseen threads. “Simply knowing you are safe is a plentiful reward in itself.”

“I- I uh. It’s not-” the words fall broken and useless from your lips like shards of glass with no hope of coming together to make a cohesive sentence. Perhaps it’s for the best, since you’re not even sure what you can try to say in response to such an earnest notion of safety from someone who didn’t even know your first name.

And that is what finally pulls your thoughts into clarity.

You step back, providing just enough space between yourself and your savior so that your mind can clear and your heart can stop beating so damn quickly. Once you regain a sense of sensibility you all but glare at the man.

“My name is-” you say, brows knitted and stance firm as you all but aggressively introduce yourself to the man who had sacrificed so much of himself for your safety. For the safety of hundreds.

And Kyojuro watches, and listens, and then he smiles.

“That’s a nice name,” he says, then chuckles again, then bows his head for a moment. “Though you seem to know already, I am Kyojuro Rengoku. It’s quite the pleasure to meet you then! Properly meet you, at least. One less train involved.”

As the words settle humorously in the air, you watch Kyojuro turn and make a gesture to follow behind him. For a moment you’re confused, but he turns his face back to you and nods in the direction of the hall a few steps ahead.

“You wanted me to rest, yes? We can do so overlooking the back garden. I figure you’d like to sit and talk for a while-” and then he pauses, as if a moment of realization is just now moving across his thoughts. “…unless there is somewhere else you need to be?”

Bashful instinct presses at the root of your tongue to agree, perhaps even to make up some silly excuse for why you couldn’t stay for long. But then your eyes catch and hold onto a gaze that seems like brilliant rubies, and his voice echoes so warmly in your ears. And then you remember noting how empty the house felt when you stepped inside of it, devoid of anyone but what might be the last few members of the Rengoku family.

How lonely.

A shake of your head and motion of your legs happen before you can even think.

“O-oh no, I… have the day free. Though of course I didn’t assume you yourself had the time to entertain anyone, with you… healing up, and all.”

Kyojuro smiles for a moment before leading the way down the hall, his motions a bit stilted by injuries, but proud all the same. You held a deep respect for the man and his willpower despite knowing so little about him — and you certainly wanted to know more.

“I actually enjoy the company,” he says, just as you move in-step beside him. “And you are the first person from that accident to try and find me — perhaps the only one! So, if you’ll humor me for a bit of your time… I would like to learn more about you as well.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him smiling. Despite the countless injuries that undoubtedly leave him in pain, some perhaps permanent, the man continues to smile as wide and as bright as the sun itself.

And you are glad to have met him.

[gummy-friend]

Hi! First and foremost, I really like your writing! Second, maybe 4 with G! Techno and H! Tommy? Thanks :D

Hello!!! Thank you so much!!!! :DD

And terribly sorry for the very long delay— I lost my original thought and was being petty to myself. But thank you for the prompt! I appreciate it! :D

————

"I would never hurt you"

Giant Techno and Human Tommy

Content warning: Language, mentions of blood, mentions of killing.

———————

They say giants are vicious, they say giants are evil.

Well, to those people, Tommy will give them a middle finger. Because he met one. A giant.

His name is Techno, he's not evil nor vicious— In fact, Tommy will say that Techno is kind of a pussy. Techno absolutely refuses to go to the human villages, because "That'll be incredibly awkward", according to Techno. So he would just hunt for foods in the forest.

Tommy met Techno for quite a while now— after being exiled from his original village, he stumbled upon Techno's cabin, and got caught by Techno there.

It was not a fun time for Tommy, it took a while for Techno to let him go from a jar— he still don't know the reason why did Techno fucking lock him in a jar—before eventually releasing him to go off on his own. Techno made Tommy promise to not tell anyone about him, though, which Tommy agreed, and quickly ran away from the place.

But before long, Tommy came back to Techno. Tommy remembers, it was honestly an impulse decision of him.

It was nighttime when Techno let Tommy go. And it was nighttime when Tommy saw a mob of people from his village, holding pitchforks and torches, ready to go to where he was coming from. Techno's house.

Tommy smiled at the memory. Sure, he was exhausted trying to sprint as fast as he can, going towards Techno's cabin, trying to find Techno. It was a scary time for Tommy in the jar, sure, but not once did Techno tried to hurt Tommy, no matter how annoying Tommy was trying to be.

"HEEY!" Tommy shouted to the giant, who is in the middle of cooking food.

With a "Huh?", Techno turned around to meet a human he just released an hour ago, confused about his return.

"GIAN— TECHNO!" Tommy shouted again, panting between words "HUMANS!" He shouted, pointing towards the giant's door, trying to get his point across "HUMANS ARE HUNTING YOU—!"

Of course, Techno didn't believe the human. But still, he took precautions and peeked at the window, seeing torchlight and hearing hushed chatters and footsteps. A quick look at that, and Tommy saw Techno tremble— not because of fear, Tommy didn't sense any fear coming from the giant— while holding his head, pulling his long, pink hair. An unseen expression reflected in Techno's face before he once again trapped Tommy in a jar and ran away to their current location.

It has been two months since that incident, Tommy thinks. He still hasn't known much about Techno or his intention— like why did Techno brought Tommy with him when he ran away— but Tommy is currently living with Techno in a cave.

They say giants are evil, they say giants are vicious.

But Tommy hasn't felt like that ever since he moved in with Techno. It was a move with a lot of arguments, but after a quick explanation about how Tommy is afraid of villages after being exiled, Techno gave in and let Tommy stay with him.

"Techno!" Tommy called out to Techno, returning from his trip from the river— a basket full of fish on his back. "I'm home!"

Techno spared Tommy a glance from where he's standing— still focusing on cooking his food. "M-hm, give me the fish, I'll cook it" Techno nodded to himself, knowing Tommy is heading towards his direction.

With a "bitch, next time take the fish yourself" grumbled beneath his breath, Tommy gave the basket of fish to Techno— Who only gave a small scoff at the comment— and sat down not too near the fire.

"So." Tommy started, taking the plate of cooked fish from Techno. "Did you remember two months ago?" he continued, not yet eating his fish, instead staring at Techno.

The first week after moving in with Techno, Tommy asked Techno about his intention so many times— why did Techno take him with him, why did Techno avoid humans so much, especially since Tommy knew Techno is so skilled at fighting— and Techno always avoided the question. Without fail.

"Tommy." Techno sighed. Putting down his half-eaten plate of deer meat. "I told you not to talk about that"

"Why not?!— you fucking trapped me that one time, and you still haven't told me why" Tommy retaliated, But Techno ignored Tommy's protest, instead went back to avoiding the question by going to the cave entrance. Tommy took a bite out of his food before continuing "You're so fumkign skilled at fighting— I know! I saw you that one time when you were sword practicing—"

"Wait. Tommy." Techno's voice rang in a hushed tone— but Tommy was too focused in letting out his thoughts to realize it.

"— and then you have these times when you're so fucking creepy— chanting or some shit—"

"Tommy—"

"— and why the fuck do you live alone anyway? There's no way each giants live alon—"

"Tommy— shut up!—" Techno half-shouted, his voice being held back. Tommy only stared at Techno, the usually-calm giant raised his voice at him, and suddenly Tommy remembered the whispers about giants.

Giants are vicious, giants are evil

Those words reverberated in Tommy's head, and when he came to himself, he was trapped inside Techno's palm. Giant fingers wrapped around him a little too tight as he felt the vibrations of the ground shaking far below him and the sound of Techno panting. It reminded him on that night two months ago, when Techno trapped him in a jar, and those words reverberated inside Tommy's head

Giants are vicious, giants are evil

Are they really?

Minutes felt like hours to Tommy, and Techno finally stopped.

"Let- let me fucking go!" Tommy shouted from Techno's palm— much like when he shouted to be let go from a jar 2 months ago.

"Shh." Techno said. Voice low and halted. He's not even looking anywhere near Tommy's direction.

"No, fuck you— Let me fucking go—"

"Shut. up."

Giants are vicious. Giants are evil

No, no, no. Fuck no, Why does that thought has to come up now?

Tommy looked at Techno. Long, pink hair obscuring his face, a dark and heavy atmosphere covered both of them as the only voice Tommy can focus on is Techno's panting. His body now feels numb.

Just after Tommy felt like he's about to lose consciousness, he felt a sharp turn in his surroundings. The world turns into a blur as Tommy finds himself nauseous—

Before he felt a sharp pain on his head, knocking his consciousness out of him.

๑๑๑

It's loud.

The voices inside his head all screamed the same thing. All screamed the thick, red substance the flows throughout living beings body. The voices inside his head screamed for blood

But Techno doesn't want that. He's changed. He's changed and he have tried to prove that. Not hurting the human child that came over to his cabin two months ago, not killing the hoard of tiny humans hunting him right now, trying so hard not to just take one of the tiny being flailing a pitchfork around and just... squishing them for a tiny trickle of the glorious blood—

No.

For blood he already gave Chat animal blood. No human blood. He's changed. He's changed. He's no more the giant who drove his friend away, no longer the giant from the legend— having no mercy to humans. No.

But if he's changed then...

Why did he not protect the human he's sheltering...?

Tommy is a human that came across Techno two months ago. A human he trapped in fear of letting a hoard of human knowing where he lived. A human he used as a tool to remind hinself he's changed.

But overtime, the human had grown on him. Tommy is a... decent guy when you get to know him. Sure, he's loud, he's annoying, but he's... endearing. In some times Tommy talks to Techno about things he did at his previous village— how he saw a rabbit eating one of the villagers carrots, how he stole one of the villagers things, ....how he was exiled from his village...

It didn't broke Techno's heart, no. It was just.. sad. The kid had been exiled from his village and he ended up inside a jar in a giants house.

It was a day after that Techno let Tommy out of the jar— with a promise that the human won't tell anybody about his whereabouts, of course— while hoping the human will get somewhere to live.

To say Techno was surprised to see the human back in his house again, with a warning that a mob of humans going out for him was an understatement.

It was an impulse action from Techno to grab Tommy in a jar, really. But Techno saw the face of a horrified man and it reminded him of the faces of humans he'd killed— maybe, he can still save faces like these.

Maybe it's going to stay as a mere maybe afterall.

It's currently sunrise, Techno had found a cave hiding behind a waterfall— a secure place for him to hide— but Tommy have not yet to wake up. A small droplet of red stained his finger, but Chat seemed to not at all focusing on that — maybe a small part of Chat, really— but the majority of them are asking if Tommy is okay, if he's badly hurt or not. And with the constant ring inside his head, Techno can't help but feel very anxious about it.

The anxiousness was quickly dissipated, though. As Tommy let out a small groan and a small tremor in his figure, struggling to wake up.

"Tommy?" Techno whispered, finally relaxing his shoulder he didn't know were tense the whole time.

Tommy stood up— or at least tried to stand up— slowly, his arm trembling when a force is applied on it. But eventually, when Tommy managed to stand properly, he let out a shrilling screech at the sight of Techno.

"AAAH WHAT THE FUCK—" Tommy screeched, no longer standing up as he fell down into a sitting position. Trying to scoot away as far as possible from Techno— as far as the rock he's on lets him, at least.

A strange uneasiness tugged at Techno's heart. "T-Tommy...?" Techno repeated, slowly trying to reach out his hand to the small human— which the human respoded with an absolutely terrified look and a small shake. Techno stopped reaching out after that.

"H-How did you know my name?!" Tommy shouted out. The uneasiness tugs harder. "Where am I?!" He shouted again. and... "Who are you?!"

Techno felt like his heart is shattering. Tommy forgot about him. Each word feels like is hurting him.

"I..." Techno started, watching intently to Tommy's face full of fear and anticipation. "I'm Techno," He continued, very slowly in picking his words "and You're in a cave I found yesterday— after we escaped from a group of humans"

"Wait— why're humans hunting... us?" Tommy cuts off, "Did you— did you fucking kidnapped me?"

"No!" Techno said, refuting Tommy's accusation too quickly. But a small pause after his word made him realize that... he did initially kidnap Tommy. "...yes" Techno nodded, watching Tommy's expression pale. No— "The humans didn't hunt us because of that, though—"

"You... you kidnapped me." Tommy whispered, barely enough to be audible to Techno.

"Tommy— no—"

"YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED ME, GIANT!" He shouted out, the pure emotion seething from him made him stand up. Techno's heart feels like it has been stabbed. "I— You—" Tommy took a step back, not registering how he's at the edge of the surface. Tommy let out a shriek as gravity pulled him down the fortunately not high surface.

Techno was about to reach out and help Tommy, but then he heard a quiet sob and saw the curled up form of Tommy.

"You... you kidnapped me.." Tommy said through his sobs. "What are you going to do to me now...?"

"Tommy." Techno called, a finger held out for helping Tommy to get up. "I would never hurt you"

° ° °

"Tommy." the giant called, a massive finger held out for helping him to get up. "I would never hurt you"

Tommy stood up with help from the giant— What was his name? Was it Tech...?— while looking up towards the giant figure.

A long flowy pink hair, two long pointed ears, two tusks poking from his mouth... Tommy remembered it was scary from when he first saw the giant, but for some reason, the assurance from him reverberated inside Tommy's heart. The nagging feeling of familiarity and "home" radiating from the giant to Tommy doesn't help either.

Tommy stared at the giant. He's kneeling, making his form a lot smaller than it should be. Tommy's glad for that. The giant already looks so much bigger kneeling, Tommy doesn't want to imagine his full height. At least, not right now. "are you sure..?"

The giant nods, repeating his words. "Yeah. I would never hurt you, Tommy."

Tommy stared at the giant. Looking at the concerned expression of the giant. Tommy felt reassurance bubbling more inside his heart. Tommy knows the giant is telling the truth.

Eventually, Tommy stepped out from his thoughts, realizing that he's still on the ground— he should go back to the top of the rock.

With very much difficulty, Tommy tried climbing the rock. The first attempt was very much a fail— as soon as he tried climbing, his arm gave up. Tommy guesses it's the numbness. The second attempt, though, Tommy got help from the giant. The giant gave him his palm as a platform.

"Thank you" Tommy mumbled, still feeling awkward— he guesses the giant also felt awkward— judging by the thick tension in the air. "Can- do you- If you said you didn't- didn't kidnap me," Tommy started, trying to break the tension, "then... can you tell me what really happened?"

The giant stopped for a moment, only watching Tommy. His eyes looked like it widened a little. But eventually, he let out a small huff and start telling Tommy a story. How they first met— the giant really did kidnap Tommy— but after a bit of explanation, Tommy understood the situation. The giant then continued telling about how Tommy warned the giant about oncoming group of humans

He then explained about them running away from the humans together— with the giant trapping Tommy again— and when Tommy asked why, the giant hesitated to answer,

"You.. you reminded me of my friend" the giant answered before continuing again. At the back of his mind, Tommy relaxed. Like it was something he needed to know.

The giant continued to tell the story. telling how Tommy asked to live with him. When Tommy asked why, the Giant said "You said you're scared of villages" and Tommy nodded after that. That kind of make sense— an eerie feeling rose at the thought of a distant, but familiar scenery of a village.

At the end of the story, the giant told the story of last night— about how they were chased by humans. The giant said they were bickering when the giant saw a hoard of humans marching towards them, so the giant quickly grabbed Tommy— forgetting to tell him about the current situation— and the giant apologized after that.

"so that's what happened" Tommy mumbled out, looking towards the giant— who looks slightly exhausted from all the storytelling. "Thank you, T- Tech- Tech- Techie..?"

Tommy can only watch as the giant's face changes into an expression similar to shock. "....what" a low— but not menacing— voice said.

"I- fumk- I forgot your name" Tommy meekly said— he's sure that the giant's not angry, but a giant is still making him nervous.

"Techno. Technoblade" The giant — Techno— huffed out.

"That's a fumkign dumb name" Tommy blurted out, but quickly slapped his hand to cover his mouth.

"It's okay. You said that the first time you knew my name too" Techno deadpanned. Tommy let out a very loud laugh at that.

"So uh— Nice.. Nice to meet you?" Tommy said after a moment of waiting his laugh to stop.

"Nice to meet you too, Tommy." Techno smiled

Giants are vicious, giants are evil.

A distant telling of a village rang inside Tommy's head.

Well, to those people, Tommy will give them a middle finger. Because he met one. A giant.

His name is Technoblade, and Tommy knows he's not evil nor vicious.

——

Thank you so much for the prompt!! I appreciate it!! :DD

The prompt is from here (I don't think I'll be taking more prompts though)

And.. Masterlist ! If you're interested in my other writings! :D

[umbralsound-xiv]

...I held her tightly before she left. That it would not be our last embrace, merely one to share until she returned.

...And she would return. She... She would. I... Spent my time in my room. Pacing... Changing the bedsheets, preparing comfortable clothes, and fluffing the pillows. Even gathering together a bowl of food so i need not leave unless i really had to.

The call came, and she left with the others. And when they returned, a slew of footsteps for the infirmary... I waited longer still.

...Only for the sound of that Viera to call through the door.

She was wounded. Badly wounded, by his words. But she was home.

...When i was certain i would not be in the way of any healers or patients... I hesitantly made my way to her side...

Eir Fellfrost hesitantly enters the infirmary with a gentle push of his hand, allowing the door to close softly behind him. A small, hesitant inhale is given; he can just about make out the layout of the room, even if it was one he was beginning to find some familiarity. Each footsteps forth seems to weigh heavier than it aught to; hesitance does not take him by the partition. "...Sayuri?" He calls softly, not wishing to wake any who were sleeping. "...Are you awake...?" Clear worry was etched into his tone, no matter how he tried to hide it.

Sayuri Aoki's ears twitched slightly as Eir's voice emit, head slowly tilting to the side as she glances in his general direction. ".. Eir?" She murmured. ".. I am."

Eir Fellfrost lightly squeezes the cloth of the familiar comfortable material in his grasp; pyjamas - Formerly his, and now more of a shared posession. "I... Did not want to... Disturb the healers, or... Anyone, so i..." He takes a slow step forth, head tilted to look fearfully at the floor as he pulled into view. "It... it is a comfort to hear your voice."

Sayuri Aoki managed a weary smile as he came into view, her cheek pressing against her own shoulder without the rest of her body moving. ".. I understand." She uttered softly. "I'm glad to see you.. and I am.. sorry for making you worry.."

Eir Fellfrost slowly turns his head to look towards her. His vision was still blurred, and the light did not help; seeing only pale and dark where she laid on the bed, colours blending together in the haze. But he could see enough. The way bruises curled around her neck, likely even more unseen beneath her clothes. The way she had barely moved upon greeting him, remaining otherwise still. "Oh... Sayuri..." His voice wavers, as he slowly nears the bed, setting the pyjamas on the foot of them. "...You have nothing to be sorry for... Least of all, this."

...I could see the extent of her wounds, even with my poor vision. The way her pale skin was blemished by darker hues. I... I do not know if i want to know what happened. Merely seeing the aftermath sends a knot into my stomach, but...

She is here. Home. And she will recover.

Sayuri Aoki: “.. Perhaps not. But having you.. worry about me more than you already did.. was the last thing I wanted.” She spoke quietly, letting her right arm raise slightly and extend towards him, hand outstretched.

Eir Fellfrost slowly settles himself on the bed beside her, both hands reaching to take her own in his. "...Worry is... What happens when you love someone." He responds quietly.

Sayuri Aoki smiled faintly. “.. It is. But.. you were already worrying.. I doubt more worry was what you needed.” She gave a small pout as her thumb moved to gently caress his knuckles. “.. I love you, too.”

Eir Fellfrost: "...I knew when i fell for you, what price loving you would mean..." His voice is tinged with concern, delicately holding her hand as though it would break. He slowly, tenderly rubs his thumb over the back of it. "I pay it gladly. Even if... Even if i worry every moment you are gone to battle."

...I knew she would be called to battle. That she goes gladly, of her own choice, to fight for the things she belives in and for the people she cares for.

I would never ask her to stop, nor would i expect her to even if she did.

I knew. When... I fell. When i was still falling for her, that... To hold her close would mean to confront these... Feelings. Of dread, and worry. Of...

...Of... History repeating.

Sayuri Aoki‘s head tilted, the smile widening a touch. “.. I will always come back. And if I am wounded, I will be tended to.. As you can see.” She gave his hand a light squeeze.

Eir Fellfrost slowly lowers his head to meet her hand, obscuring his face as her chilly skin met with his forehead. "...I was told." His breath wavers only an ilm, before he takes a moment to continue speaking. "...You were badly hurt."

Sayuri Aoki allowed her ears to droop, a soft gaze resting upon him. “.. I was.” She confirmed. “The worst.. has been tended to.. But I have been advised to remain here until the worst of the pain has subsided.”

But... It is not like then. It is different this time, is it not? She is here...

She is here, and she is... Wounded, and battered from her ordeal on the battlefield, but... She is home.

She is home.

This is... Not like then. Not like Bozja. This... This is different.

Eir Fellfrost nods against her hand, head still lowered. It takes him a long moment to respond. "...I am glad they brought you home..." He wavers, swallowing a small lump in his throat. "...T-then.. Remain. Until you feel better. I will visit--- Stay here, if i must. I---" He fights to keep his composure, a long held breath. "...Sorry."

Sayuri Aoki gently turned her hand over, seeking to brush her fingers against his cheek as a soft hush left her. “.. They always will.” She reassured, smiling. “.. There is nothing to apologise for, Eir. You’re allowed to be upset - to be worried.” Her free hand pressed into the mattress on the opposite side and slowly began to push against it, only for her to immediately abandon the idea of moving. “.. You don’t have to, but I’m always happy for your company.”

Eir Fellfrost tilts his head into her hand, as his own saught to press her fingertips a little more firmly into his cheek. "No. I do not have to. But i want to." He responds, almost stubbornly. "I..." Another hesitation, before his words leave his lips with a tremble. "I... I w-was so worried..."

...All i could think of was the sound of the door as it closed. Her words as she left, and told me she loved me... The cold of her embrace that lingered long after her departure.

...I at least managed to hold back my tears for that long.

...Not that i will ever tell her of them. It is... Better, that she does not worry so much for me in turn.

Sayuri Aoki brushed her thumb along his cheek as he applied more pressure upon her hand. “You are free to.. And I don’t intend to complain.” Her ears flatten a little, another soft hush leaving her. “.. It’s okay, Eir. I’m okay.”

Eir Fellfrost: "I know that... I know." Still, it serves only to hitch the breath in his throat, hair veiling his features from hers. "...I know..." His voice a faint whisper, barely audiable as his voice cracked with his last word. He slowly nudges his cheek into the palm of her hand, a silent, comforting motion.

...The fear has still not left me, and i... Do not know if it ever will.

...But it is okay. It is.

It... Is the price we pay for love, amongst many other things.

Sayuri Aoki took a deep breath before she once again pressed her free hand into the mattress as she slowly began to push herself up to sit, with a great struggle - breath held and a tremble running through her from the pain of her movement, yet she managed to remain quiet as to not sound too pained. “It-.. it’s.. okay..” She murmured, tone a touch strained.

Eir Fellfrost: "---Sayuri, do not...!" His gaze flicks to hers as best it could, a knit of concern worrying his brow. "...Do not push yourself. Please..." He extends his free hand to slowly caress her cheek. "...Just rest..."

Sayuri Aoki gently rested her head in his palm, a small frown on her features. She carefully sank back down, the hand which had been pressed against the mattress moving to gently cup his hand that rests upon her cheek. “.. I want to hug you.” She murmured apologetically.

Eir Fellfrost: "Then you need only ask..." His voice wavers, as he slowly nears her, half settling on the bed but not yet reaching to touch her. "...Where does it hurt most...?" He asks, cautiously. "...I do not want to hurt you."

Sayuri Aoki‘s ears pinned back, her frown deepening ever so slightly. “.. My sides..” She mumbled. “..But I can still handle a hug.. As long as it’s gentle.”

Eir Fellfrost shuffles up the bed, more slowly as he drew closer to her, opting to settle facing her, at her side. "...As gentle as i can manage..." He murmurs softly, gently draping an arm over her front to settle around her, head nudged against hers in an unspoken word of affection. A long, wavering inhale... Before a small sigh of relief.

Sayuri Aoki‘s frown faded, replaced with a smile once his arm curled over her and their foreheads connected. She returned an affectionate nudge, exhaling a content sigh. She raised one hand up towards his neck, seeking to gently settle her hand upon the back of his head and drag her fingers through his hair. “.. I love you.” She murmured quietly.

Eir Fellfrost: "...I love you too." Eir murmurs, eyes squeezing shut. The arm that had curled around her remained, frightened to pull her any closer... But his hand found the pillow, where it balled into tightly. "...So, so much." Finally, a small, soundless sob moves in the pit of Eir's throat, unaccompanied by any noise; he does not speak immediately. "...I... I a-am glad you are safe, Sayuri..."

...I wanted to hold her so tightly, that i might never need to let go again, but i... I could not, for fear of hurting her. But this...?

This is enough. To have her here. Close.

Sayuri Aoki gently seeks to guide his head a little further downwards to allow her to place her lips upon his cheek in a soft peck. Her fingers continued to comb through his hair, a small smile on her lips. “.. I will recover soon enough, I promise to take it easy.”

Eir Fellfrost: "...You had best." He whispers, relaxing an ilm as her fingertips combed through his hair. "...Anything you have need of, please just ask me. I do not mind." He gives a faint smile as her lips brush at his cheek. "...Not one bit. Not for you."

Sayuri Aoki huffed in amusement, a small snicker leaving her. “.. I have everything I need currently, but if that changes.. I will.” She murmured, nudging her head against his softly.

Eir Fellfrost nods quietly against her, lingering in the gentle embrace. "...I have barely slept." He admits, "...Do... You think the healers will be upset at me, if i sleep beside you?"

Sayuri Aoki: “.. I think it’ll be fine, knowing you will be careful.” She murmured, head tilting slightly. “.. As much as I want nothing more than to pull you close, I know that.. Is not a good idea.”

Eir Fellfrost: "...It is not. But it is... Something to look forward to. For when you are well enough, that you can." A small murmur, as he sighed quietly into the side of her hair. "It... Is over now. No more fighting, or... Sudden pearl calls..."

Eir Fellfrost: "Not... Not for some time, anyway... You can be safe... Here, in peace."

Sayuri Aoki: “.. Mh.. I feel impatient already..” She grumbled, nudging her head into his gently. “.. It is over. Serpent is gone.” Sayuri’s fingers once again combed through his hair, as a soft exhale left her. “Now we have several things to look forward to.. Your sight returning, my recovery so I can hug you without my body screaming at me, and.. The East.”

Eir Fellfrost: "...All lovely things." Eir murmurs quietly, "...Made all the more lovelier with you." Gently, the hand at the pillow slowly moves to brush at her hair. "...Love you..." He whispers, as sleep threatened to claim him.

...Peace. All... All i want is peace. Just... Just for a few moons.

Please, just for a little bit.

...Just to keep her safe.

To any God who would listen... It is all i will ask.

[thegirlwhomoanedwolf]

Lust spell

Dark lord x reader

virgin reader does a sex spell after giving up on waiting for the dark lord... guess who shows up ;)

Warnings: 18+, hair pulling

(Y/n) sighed tapping a pen against her soft lips. She laid on her stomach books spread all around her large bed. Reading the page of the demonomicon again she tried to deeper understand its meaning. She wanted to know everything she could about magic and most importantly the dark lord. She was at the top of her class before she graduated from the academy of unseen arts and truly lived to make the dark lord proud. Realizing she wouldn’t learn anything else so exhausted from hours of reading and writing any new findings she moved from her bed grabbing her books placing them back on one of the many bookshelves in her candlelit room.

Deciding to get ready for bed she moved into her eclectic bathroom and began to fill the enormous claw foot tub with steaming hot water. She looked over to the cabinet of oils and dried herbs an idea coming to her mind. (Y/n) was beautiful and had the attention of everyone at the academy when she attended but none of them ever caught her eye. This didn’t mean she didn’t have desires like everyone else but she was saving herself for the dark lord. She knew it was unrealistic but if she had enough faith maybe he would listen. It had been years of thinking this way and pleasuring herself trying to keep the will power to wait for him. Her need was becoming too much. She needed real release.

Walking over to the wooden cabinet and grabbing handfuls of dried roses, baby’s breath and lavender she sprinkled them into the tub beginning to set her intention for the spell. Stripping her clothes she grabbed the most important part of the spell. The ornate glass bottle felt warm in her hand as she poured the oil over her chest. The feeling sent tingles through her body. The lust oil made her desire stronger than usual which would be necessary if she wanted the spell to work. After rubbing the oil all over (y/n) stepped into the tub fully submerging her glistening body.

After performing the spell she lay in the tub and prayed to the dark lord. (Y/n) continued to soak in the tub when a loud knock on her front door startled her. There was no way the spell worked that quickly she thought as she stepped out of the tub and threw on a black silk robe. Curious as to who was knocking on her door so late she opened it. Her heart nearly stopped at the sight that greeted her. The most gorgeous man she had ever seen towered above her practically nude. All he had was a small cloth tied around his waist and she realized he was covered in dirt. Maybe her spell had come true so soon.

“ Hello miss I hope I didn’t startle you, your house is the first one I’ve come across and I’m not sure how I got here,” the man spoke in a voice that was innocent yet pure sex. This was definitely the spell alright.

“Please come in,” (y/n) said as she stepped out of the doorway quickly. Lucifer came inside hiding his smile at how easy it was for him to lie to her and how for all her prayers and devotion she couldn’t tell it was him. Trying to be kind to the man (y/n) asked “ are you hungry?”

“ very,” Lucifer said as he looked over (y/n)s body the the meaning changed by the way he said it. “ I’m filthy though and would like to clean up first if possible?” He asked pretending to be a gentleman.

“ of course, I was actually just taking a bath and it’s still hot if you wouldn’t mind that.”

“ I can tell,” he said looking her over. Her skin was glowing from the oil on her body that was only covered by a small bath robe and he couldn’t wait to see what was underneath. “ a bath would be wonderful.” He followed her into the candlelit bathroom watching as she bent over to add more hot water.

“ I’ll leave this running so you can turn it off when it’s hot enough.” (Y/n) pressed her thighs together trying to stop the ache this beautiful man was creating.

She began to walk out of the bathroom looking back to shut the door behind her stopping in her tracks as the toned man removed the small piece of cloth his muscular ass fully on display. Paralyzed by his beauty she couldn’t look away. He turned slowly to step into the bath his large member now in view. ‘oh my satan,’ she thought biting her lip disappointed when he sunk down into the tub. Lucifer smirked hearing her prayer and looked over to her. “ Would you mind helping me with my back ?”

“I don’t mind ,”she responded breathily and grabbed a cloth walking over to the tub. Getting on her knees to be at the same level Lucifer thought of what he really wanted her to do on her knees and could feel himself begin to grow. “ (Y/n) dipped the cloth into the water then onto Lucifers back watching as the dirt wiped away easily. Sitting behind him she so badly wanted to run her fingers through his curly hair and decided to wash it as an excuse. Ringing the cloth in his hair she then added soap and began to lather it. As she massaged his scalp he let out a moan.

“ That feels incredible,” he moaned again causing butterflies in her stomach. (Y/n) continued wanting to please him in more ways than one. She grabbed the cloth again ready to rinse his hair but he slid under the water giving her a full view of his nakedness. ‘ oh my fucking satan’ she thought his member now fully erect and even bigger than she had seen before. Explicit images formed in her mind as he sat back up and turned to her, “ would you like to join me?”

( y/n)s heart beat in her chest knowing what was to come. He motioned to the tub and she slowly stood silently accepting his offer. She was ready to completely give herself to him. Standing at the edge of the tub she looked down at him biting her lip. He moved to the edge his fingers on the silk bow of her robe pulling and slowly undoing it. ( y/n) let the robe fall off of her and saw the desire in his eyes. Lucifer ran a finger over her nipple enjoying the small tremble it caused her. He held out his strong hand helping her step into the tub her back toward him. She sat turned away from him leaving enough distance so that they weren’t yet touching.

Lucifer moved his arms around her pulling her back against his chest. (Y/n) gasped now feeling his large member against her back. “ relax,” he whispered softly and she let the tension leave her body. Lucifer moved his hands to her thighs rubbing them and began to move even higher up. He moved his mouth to her neck kissing below her ear. “ so beautiful.” His hand traveled to her clit keeping still as she moaned softly at the sensation. “ no one has touched you here before me.” He stated.

“ no,” (y/n) replied thinking it was a question.

“ I will give you pleasure no other could,” He whispered as he began to rub her clit.

“ oh yes,” (y/n) softly moaned, his fingers doing magic against her most intimate spot. Lucifer kissed her neck and shoulder loving the reactions he was pulling from her body. He could feel her tensing slightly and knew the pleasure was going to overtake her soon. He moved his other hand to her opening teasing her folds with a finger.

“ I wish to be inside you so badly,” he slowly thrust a finger inside his eyes rolling at her tightness. He worked her with his finger the other hand circling her clit. (Y/n)s walls were starting to flutter around his finger so close to letting go. “I wish to feel you shake around my cock giving in to the pleasure.” She began to shake almost there, “ give in (y/n) .” With that her orgasm ripped through her. A shriek left her lips and Lucifer smiled excited to see how she would react to his member.

( y/n) lay back against Lucifers chest breathing heavily coming down from her orgasm. The cloudiness from her mind disappearing a realization hit her and she tensed nervous this time. “ how did you know my name ?”

“ I know all my children’s names (y/n).” He turned her face to look up at him the shock was evident on her face. “ You are very special though, I wouldn’t just leave hell for anyone. How sweet you were planning to wait for me.”

She looked up at his beautiful face still in shock, “ dark lord I’m so sorry... I .”

“ Do not apologize,” he said sternly interrupting her. Lucifer looked deep into her (y/e/c) eyes filled with worry, “ show me you still have faith,” he said sweetly and seductively. Just like that the worry of upsetting him was gone and (y/n) knew how to prove her loyalty. Adjusting herself quickly in the tub she pressed her lips to his her hand wrapping in his hair for balance. Lucifer wrapped his strong arms around her possessively pulling her as close to him as possible while exploring her soft mouth. Now that she was seated above him he leaned forward and wrapped her legs around his waist holding her tightly as he lifted them from the water. He continued to kiss her as he carried them out of the tub and into the hallway. She squirmed in his arms desperate for more bringing out the beast in him. Moving to her bedroom quickly he kicked the door open and laid her down on her overly cushioned bed hovering above her.

“ please dark lord,” she whimpered as he moved to kiss her neck and chest. Years of waiting and she was so close yet so far. Reaching down between them she wrapped her small hand around him causing him to pin her hands to the bed quickly. (Y/n) looked up at him her chest heaving as she watched his gaze travel over her body. Her need for him was overwhelming, “ I need you so bad it hurts.”

With that he let go of her hands and they wrapped around his back as he leaned down and kissed her gently. He grabbed his large member in his hand lining it up with her glistening opening. (Y/n) gasped at the feel of his skin against hers as he ran his tip up and down her folds teasing her. ‘ oh dark lord please I can’t take it anymore I need you’ she prayed knowing he would hear. He pulled his lips away from hers and she looked at his angelic face as he softly spoke “ I will show you mercy.” He sunk into her forcefully causing her to cry out his large member stretching her more than she thought she could handle.

Lucifers fingers found her clit caressing it roughly as he thrusted again slowly this time filling her completely. The added sensation on her clit made her eyes roll in her head. The pleasure was too much but she didn’t want it to stop.

“ yes dark lord!” She exclaimed encouraging him even more. “ you feel amazing.”

Her words stroked his ego as her pussy stroked his cock. “ you are hell on earth (y/n),” he grunted as she tightened around him even more. He thrusted slow and hard reveling in her. He looked down at where they were connected and watched as her folds gripped him tightly bringing him close to release. Lucifer began to rub her faster his thrusts picking up pace along with her moans. (Y/n)s legs began to tremble and he looked down at her in awe of her beauty. “Cum for me little witch.”

An earth shattering orgasm overtook her body and soul. She never wanted it to end and it seemed like it wasn’t going to. Lucifer groaned as her walls began to milk him and he thrusted into her prolonging both of their orgasms even further.

He laid on top of her still enveloped by her and kissed her cheek sweetly. “ That alone was worth being kicked out of heaven”

(y/n) blushed not expecting his kindness and worriedly asked, “ will you be going back to hell now?”

“ of course I’m the king,” he said arrogantly. Caressing her bottom lip and kissing her Lucifer pulled away and added “ would you like to be a queen (y/n)?”

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[knchins]

The Sacrificial Lamb - Chisaki Kai

Summary: The Vampire Chisaki has been searching everywhere for the one, but when he finally finds her she is taken by the League of Villains. He strikes a deal with them in order to get her back.

Pairing: Vampire!Overhaul x Fem!Human!Reader

Rating: E+

Word Count: 6.7k

Server Collab: BNHAREM - Fantasy AU

Warnings: Virgin/Virginity Kink, Blood, Extreme Dubcon, Mysophobia, Kidnapping, Implied Sexual Slavery, Noncon Choking, Biting, Pelvic Examination, Virginity Testing, Mentioned Necrophilia, Marking, Bondage/Restraints, Hair Pulling, Condom Usage, Overstimulation, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Mild Aftercare

Notes: Please heed the warnings listed above. I classify this as a dark fic and want readers to take care while reading. <3 My first ever collab with this server and I’m super hype about it! I hope you enjoy!

All over the world, over the past few decades, vampirism had spread across the land like a rampant disease. Once mortal humans were turned into eternal monsters with powers unique only to their kind. The media tended to call them quirks, hoping that a lighthearted term would quell the fear of what the gifts truly were. An abomination, a curse among mankind, and weapons of mass destruction. 

Of course, there were a select few (really, a rare few these days) that used their vampirism for good. They fed only on donated blood, vowed never to take human life, and even protected mortals against others of their kind that were not as righteous as they were. Truly it was a world made up of heroes, villains, and powerless bystanders that were often victims. 

In relation to eternity, Chisaki Kai was rather young. He had only spent his life as a gifted fanged menace for about two decades now, but that didn’t make things any easier. Chisaki has had mysophobia for as long as he could remember. It plagued him as a human long before he was turned by the former leader of the Shie Hassaikai. 

Vampirism had always been nothing but a curse to him. While it was true that his quirk was extremely powerful and was capable of great destruction, the fact that he had to drink blood in order to survive was pure hell. The only blood he could bring himself to consume was that of young virgins, those who had never been tainted with drugs, alcohol, or even sex. 

Members of Shie Hassaikai would kidnap victims for him, but Kai would never feed on them outright. No, touching their commoner skin with his mouth just seemed completely out of the question. He very rarely sank his teeth into anyone. Instead he’d keep them captive, draining a few pints every few weeks until eventually bleeding them dry when he grew bored of them. 

The blood would be stored and consumed as needed by their leader, a small portion of it would be meshed with grapes and fermented into wine. A delicacy that many vampires enjoyed and was graded on both the source and taste. Naturally he only drank that of the highest grade as that ensured there were few (if any) impurities. 

The issue Chisaki was starting to face however was that his food source was dwindling. In this day and age it was difficult to find people that haven't spent time poisoning their bodies. Everyone seemed to enjoy living in filth and he really just did not understand. He was half tempted to start breeding his own livestock to drain, but that would just be too costly at this point. The organization was struggling to get back on top, and while he was a fearsome and ruthless leader, there were still connections that needed to be made. 

As of now he had a...tentative (but tumultuous) relationship with a group of vampires that liked to call themselves the League of Villains. The leader, Shigaraki Tomura, wanted to be equal to Kai however Kai felt that he was equal to no one. He was above all of them, his power to destroy or create on a whim was better than anyone quirk that the league could offer. Negotiations were still being made and every time they took one step forward, they seemed to take two steps back. 

Shigaraki was about the same age as he was and he too was capable of mass destruction. If the two worked together, they could bring down all of Tokyo with ease. Perhaps this would help with Chisaki’s lack of food situation. With the entire city under his thumb he could easily create some sort of facility to house and breed the purest of humans. He’d no longer have to limit himself as he did now. 

Presently he was waiting to hear back from his most faithful underling and assistant, Kurono. He was out looking for what would be Chisaki’s next meal, though it had been a few hours since he departed. When his phone began to chime, he half expected to hear that he had been unsuccessful in finding someone to suit his boss’s tastes. However, it was quite the opposite. 

“I have found a girl you would no doubt enjoy.” Kurono said in a cold tone that portrayed no noticeable emotion. “However, there is a situation.” 

Chisaki was almost always cool headed. He very rarely lost his temper, though when he did it could be quite murderous. “What is it?” He asked monotonously. 

“The League of Villains has taken her for themselves.” He said, and while true he could just find someone else. He had a feeling that his boss would particularly love the sweet little thing he had found. “I believe she may be the one.” 

The One. Chisaki had been searching high and low for a delicate creature to treat as his live in blood source. One that he would control one hundred percent. What she ate, what she wore, when she slept. He had so many plans for this one woman, if she were to ever be found. Hearing that Kurono may have found the one and had lost her to none other than that foul Shigaraki was almost enough to boil his black blood. Almost. 

“She’s pure?” He asked cryptically, though he knew that if she had been selected already then Kurono had already vetted that information himself. He heard his subordinate give him a quick affirmative. Chisaki let his thoughts process for a moment longer, “come back. I will call Tomura and see what he has to say for himself.” 

Clearly this was a ploy to get Chisaki to formally align with him. That much was obvious. However without seeing the girl first it may as well be pointless. He’d need to look over her with a fine toothed comb to determine whether or not she was indeed the one he could make his blood bride or not. A human companion for him to divulge in at any time. If Kurono knew him as well as the thought he did, then he would be correct in thinking that she was special enough to keep around. 

He ended the call with Kurono and looked for the number he had for the league of villains. He pressed it, letting the phone dial the numbers itself before waiting for an answer. A moment later, an annoying but familiar voice cut in. “Overhaul. I was wondering when you’d call.” There was clear devious intent that made Chisaki question again what he could possibly be up to. “I have something I think you’ll just love to sink your teeth into.” 

Kai didn’t appreciate the joke. Shigaraki knew very well that Kai didn’t drink directly from humans. He drank blood through plastic straws because he didn’t even want his lips to touch it unless he wanted to break out in hives. “What do you want for her?” Kai asked, getting straight to the point. “I have plenty that you could have.” 

It was true. Shigaraiki needed to bolster his numbers and with Kai’s help then he could easily achieve that goal.All he needed to supersede the arduous negotiations between them was a little leverage. Leverage Tomura now had in his possession. “You know what I want, Chisaki.” Shigaraki said in the smug voice that grated the yakuza leader’s last nerve. 

But what Shigaraki wanted most was to have Chisaki and his gang of men to work under him. To have control over the small legion of vampires that was ruled by Chisaki’s hand. Of course, Kai could always agree to the negotiation and cut ties as soon as he had what he wanted (if she was indeed the one). Though there was no telling for sure of that now. 

“I’ll need to inspect her first. Bring her to the compound for a thorough examination.” He instructed hoping that Shigaraki would at least agree to that. “Do not touch her with those filthy hands of yours until then. If you defile her then the deal will be off.” 

Shigaraki tutted into the receiver of the phone, “So picky. You want to see this little wallflower so badly? Alright, I’ll bring her in an hour. Be ready for us then, would you? Maybe have some of the delicious blood wine of yours ready to celebrate our long awaited union. Until then I’ll have all of my people keep their roaming fingers to themselves. Does that sound like a suitable arrangement?” 

Chisaki sat back in his chair. While Shigaraki couldn’t truly be trusted, he saw no other choice than to agree to this. “One hour. Don’t be late.” He hung up before the petulant man could say anything else, He let out a long sigh before standing. He had a lot of preparations to do before his visitors arrived. 

An hour later, Chisaki had just picked out one of his finer bottles of wine when a subordinate brought in his guests. Shigaraki was alone with a girl bound in rope standing next to him. She had a cloth gag tied around her mouth to keep her from talking, something Chisaki thought was a little barbaric but it wasn’t that surprising given who her captor was. 

Despite her bindings, he could already tell just how beautiful she was and more than that she smelled absolutely divine. Chisaki felt his mouth water, hunger panging in his stomach. This visceral reaction was incredibly rare for him. The urge to sink his fangs into the tender flesh of her delicate neck roared in his brain, yet he did his best to silence it. Outwardly his masked face remained the same, though his mouth twitched into an unseen smile. 

He held his hand out, but Tomura hesitated before handing over the rope leash. “You break our deal then I’ll snap her pretty little neck. Got it?” He asked, putting a gloved hand on the back of her neck and squeezing lightly for emphasis. Chisaki’s eyes narrowed, already he knew that no one would ever be taking her away from him. Shigaraki just didn’t know who he was dealing with. 

“If she passes the examination, then we will have a deal.” Chisaki reminded him, “if I find that she is unclean, then you can do what you wish with her. I do not care.” Though the words came out bitter and assured, deep down he knew that that was untrue. Something about her was so captivating already. He didn’t want to dwell on the possibility of her not being the one. Kurono had seemed so sure of himself when they spoke last. 

The young yakuza leader led his potential pet into a back room that was made specifically for examining humans. He had it built shortly after he took over in order to sort out his cattle in any way he saw fit. 

After ushering her inside, he cut on the harsh bright lights that nearly blinded her. Shigaraki chose to perch on a stool in the corner while Chisaki untied the ropes that bound the girl’s arms and then the gag. He let the thick braids fall unceremoniously to the floor, noticing how she shook with each brush of his fingertips. Scared already? Well, they always did taste better when they had adrenaline coursing through their veins. 

“Take off your clothes and get on the table.” He ordered, watching her eyes dart to a table adorned with stirrups. It was similar to one you might find at a gynecologist's office. With much hesitation, his new subject began to disrobe. Her clothes puddled around her feet as she grew more and more embarrassed with each less layer covering her sensitive skin. An odd heat was pooling between her legs as she clenched her thighs together.

Chisaki was taken off guard by her arousal. He had been assured that she was a virgin, however if stipping down before two vampires was turning her on then certainly that wasn’t the case. Both he and Shigaraki could smell the slick that was accumulating within her folds. His sharp eyes cut to the snickering vampire in the corner who was nothing but amused by this turn of events. 

After she finished undressing, she climbed up onto the steel table that had minimal cushioning. Chisaki changed his gloves out to a fresh pair, wanting to make sure that any dirt he found wasn’t something that had already been on the ones he had been wearing previously. A fresh slate was needed for this examination. 

“Put your feet in the stirrups.” He said coldly, his doubts beginning to overwhelm him internally, though his face did not show it. Even if it did, the lower half was still obstructed by his black face mask. How could this girl possibly be the one if she enjoyed disrobing in front of two murderous vampires? Was she one of those that got off on fantasizing about creatures of the night? The thought disgusted him. 

Her knees were shaking, causing the metal arms of the stirrups to rattle. Even curiouser she was this nervous while also being excited? What a peculiar creature indeed. 

His eyes swept over her seemingly frail mortal body. There were no bruises, no cuts. There wasn’t even a scar on the flesh he could see. Hair was all neatly landscaped. Her outward appearance was up to par with his wishes, but it was time to check the inside of her to make sure. 

Chisaki gently spread the moistened folds to see if that thin sliver of tissue was still intact. While true, it wasn’t uncommon for girls to rupture their hymen through activities other than sex, he still found it to be a great indicator. If it was torn then he would have to check another way. 

To the vampire’s pleasure, there was the tiny half moon membrane just a centimeter into the vaginal canal. This was all he needed to see in order to believe that she was, in fact, a virgin and that he wouldn’t need to probe any further in order to find any inconsistencies that disputed that fact. 

He delicately checked over the rest of her sex, searching for any indication that she wasn’t as pure as she seemed to be. Again he was thoroughly pleased to find none. He took a step away from her, walking around the table to closer examine her nude form. His sharp eyes moved over every last inch of visible skin, trying to detect any kind of abnormal marking or sign of dirt or grime. 

The stirrups were still rattling with the tremors of her lower limbs, a tinny sound that bounced off the walls of the small room. Her eyes were shut tightly, afraid to look at the man looming over her. What the two villains in the room didn’t know was that she had been saving herself specifically for this sort of situation. Since she came of age she longed to be some vampire’s little fuck toy to use and abuse. Despite her pure body, her mind was anything but. Upon learning of the League of Villain’s intentions with her, she hadn’t been able to stop the grotesquely loud thumping of her heart within her chest. 

She didn’t know exactly who the vampire they referred to as Overhaul was, but she could tell that he was especially gifted and powerful. The way he commanded a room was enough to make her weak in the knees. She kept herself meticulously well kept and it seemed as though all her work had been for something much greater than she could have ever anticipated. 

“Put your legs down and roll over.” He ordered in that monotonous and apathetic voice that only made her shutter even more. She obliged, removing her feet from the pads of the stirrups and rolling onto her stomach after scooting back up onto the steel table a little more so that she could be more comfortable. 

Shigaraki was watching with mild intrigue. He had never seen Chisaki look over a potential meal before. It was quite entertaining how thought out his observations appeared to be. 

He inspected the areas that he could not see before, again finding nothing out of the ordinary. He even inspected her hair, looking for any signs of lice or debris. Nothing. Every item on the list within his mind checked off one by one. She was intact. She was clean. She was pure. And she would be his and his alone. 

Chisaki left her side to order an underling to bring him a fresh clean robe for her to wear. In the corner of the room was a glass shower that he instructed her to go to in order for her to scrub herself down even further. He assured her that when she was finished he would have something for her to put on and to not worry about the rags she had been wearing. 

After she had stepped into the clear shower and began to wash as per his instructions, Chisaki made his way to a nearby sink. He removed the gloves that had been soiled with her arousal and threw them in the bin to his right before scrubbing his hands clean and putting on a new pair. Once he was finished he made his way back to Shigaraki. “We have a deal.” He said plainly, not wanting to show how very important this girl was to him now. If he let on how great of a find this truly was, then there was no telling what his adversary would ask for in return. So far the exchange they had worked out was simple enough. He didn’t need for it to become any more complicated. 

He couldn’t see the twisted grin on Shigaraki’s face due to the false hand mask obscuring it, however he could tell that it was there simply due to the way the seated man’s eyes creased with sick glee. “Let us toast to this new alliance then.” Shigaraki drawled as he stood from the wooden stool he had been sitting on. 

Kurono stepped in to deal with the little lamb that was his boss’s new plaything as the two leaders left for the kitchen where Chisaki had prepped the dry blood wine. A servant poured them both a glass of the viscous burgundy liquid before handing it to them with a slight bow. 

Both men removed the masks they were wearing, through they stood a good six feet apart. Chisaki was not about to breath in whatever sin Shigaraki exhaled. It was the first time Tomura had seen his full face and immediately thought that he looked even younger than he was. He waited for Chisaki to drink the wine first to make sure it hadn’t been tainted. 

Chisaki took the first sip with an apathetic look on his face. Only once he had swallowed did Shigaraki follow suit. Both of them revelled in the bitter and metallic taste. Only once the glasses were half empty was a word spoken. “We will be making our next move soon.” Shigaraki said, “make sure you and your men are ready for my command.” 

“Don’t worry about us not being ready.” He replied simply, “we are always prepared for anything.” 

Shigaraki chose not to comment, knowing that there was an allusion to his own gang’s sometimes lack of preparedness. It could be hard controlling a group of particularly talented vampires. While he too had great power and they did listen to him, some of his subordinates could get out of control at times. 

He threw back the rest of his wine, letting it flood his senses for a moment as it ran down his throat. He replaced the white hand over his face before standing. “And Chisaki, do not forget my warning. If you do not hold up your end of the bargain, then that delicious specimen will be all mine and your dick won’t be the only one that has been buried into that cute little cunt of hers.” 

Chisaki finished his own glass before slipping the black cloth back over his mouth and nose. His eyes were fixated on his new partner, clearly irate to the thought of someone else having his new most beloved pet. He said nothing, letting his gaze say it all as Shigaraki took his leave finally, wanting to get out before his welcome was possibly overstayed. They’d talk more about the future of their alliance later. Now it was time for Chisaki to see just how great of a gift had just been bestowed upon him. 

By now she was finished with her shower and Kurono had showed her to her new living quarters where she had been locked inside. Inside it looked similar to a medium sized hotel room. She had her own private bathroom, a closet full of clothes that certainly weren’t hers before but would be hers from now on. A full bed that was made with soft sheets and a thick duvet. The only thing she would have liked was a window, however there was nothing to suggest that she was even on the ground floor. It was much more plausible that she had been taken underground instead. 

She was wearing nothing but a silk robe and the man who had brought her here had told her not to put anything on that his boss would be there in a moment. She took a seat on the foot of the bed, wondering if this was to be her life from now on. A slave to a vampire. Would it be everything she had ever dreamed of? If it wasn’t...would there be any way to escape? She had a sickening feeling that her fate was sealed either way. She could either please her new master or die at his hands. There were no other alternatives. 

Being a living blood bag was not a conventional kink to say the least. Maybe it would be enough to keep her alive in this turbulent world. 

The door opened and the leader of the Shie Hassaikai walked into the room, closing it behind her. His golden olive-toned eyes were fixated onto her, a thin inhale caused the black cloth mask to momentarily press against his nostrils. Hunger throbbed in his stomach and he felt himself aching to do something that he never dreamt of doing. Saliva pooled into his mouth as his gaze fixated on the untouched skin of her neck. He could see her pulse fluttering in her jugular, strong and healthy. 

He was pleased to find her in the white robe he had chosen for her. An obvious symbol of what she was to him. The sacrificial lamb. Fuck, he’d drain every lost drop of that sweet innocent life force without a second thought. Sure he had come to make her his but his sudden need to feed was definitely making that difficult. Of course he could still do that even if she were dead. Though a compliant corpse wasn’t quite as much fun. 

He shrugged off his green jacket, setting it on the back of a nearby chair. “What is your name?” He asked, though he already had the intent of giving her a new name already. He still wanted to know what it was. 

She told it to him, voice wavering with anticipation. Was tonight the night she’d finally experience sex for the first time? The thought alone had her gushing again and the smell caused Chisaki to quirk an eyebrow with curiosity. He had only asked her her name, why did that make her so aroused? 

He loosened his tie before taking it off completely, “Take off your robe.” He ordered as he stepped closer to the bed. She stood up and untied it from around her waist, letting it fall open before she shrugged it off of her shoulders. The white silk fell to the floor and immediately her hands moved to cross over her exposed chest in order to attempt some form of modesty. Even though he had already stripped her and examined her most intimate parts, it was still awkward to simply be nude in front of her new master. She did have some morals afterall. 

Chisaki grabbed her arms and unfolded them before forcing them behind her back. He wrapped the fabric of his tie around her wrists tightly before weaving a knot into the bindings to keep her from getting out of it. Her shoulders pulled to accommodate the new position, causing her chest to lift and breasts to bounce in protest of his sudden and rough movements. 

He observed the wince of pain that crossed her face and the look caused his cock to twitch inside of his pants, begging to be freed. “If you struggle too much, Angel, it’s only going to hurt you more in the long run.” He said, voice edged with a thinly veiled threat. She immediately stopped pulling at the tie and became still before him, eyes too afraid to look at his face as she felt the skin of her cheeks heat painfully with embarrassment. 

He took off his shirt and unbuckled his belt, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to wrap it around her fragile throat. If he did so then he’d been obscured from possibly savoring it for himself, though the thought of that caused a sudden wave of nausea. His stomach urged him to tear open the flesh of her jugular while his brain protested at the mess it would make. 

Chisaki decided to remove the black mask from his face and placed it on a nearby table where it would not get soiled. He heard her inhale sharply at the sight of his unblocked face. He was much more handsome than she had originally thought, and while all vampires had some denotation of enhanced beauty, his was truly magnificent. 

His mouth opened and she saw the glinting white fangs inside of it. Both the canines and lateral incisors were pointed sharp, though the later was a fraction shorter than the other. Truly he could reduce her into nothing in seconds if he wanted to, all with the quick use of his dangerous mouth. She couldn’t help another wave of slick from coating her sex at the thought of what all he could do with it. 

He didn’t bother to take off his pants just yet as he leaned in to gently sniff the flesh of her throat right above the pulse point. She felt a droplet of something wet hit her collarbone and instantly she knew it was saliva. 

“P-Please,” She stuttered for him, “bite me.” She practically moaned the order and he growled at the distastefulness of it. He didn’t want her so willing. Not for the first time. He wanted this to hurt. She heard the small hiss that came out from between his teeth, felt the small puff of air against her neck. Instantly she knew she had made a mistake as his gloved hand wrapped around her throat and began to squeeze. 

She gasped for air, typing to break free from her ties once more but was unsuccessful once again. Her vision blurred around the edges, dark black spots blobbing before her eyes randomly as she struggled for air. Now this was a sight for sore eyes, Chisaki thought. He could easily see the life in her eyes fighting to stay lit. If he held his grip for a few more minutes then she’d lose consciousness completely. Even longer and she’d die. 

He released his hold on her suddenly and she inhaled sharply and painfully. Her lungs expanded fully as she gulped in the clean crisp air of the room. The vampire watched her closely, looking for any sign of long lasting damage. He didn’t even need to command her to not say another word. She got the point loud and clear by his actions alone. 

It was then that he decided that it was better off if he marked her as his own. While it wasn’t a very common practice (his cattle literally got branded with an iron in the shape of the family’s crest), it was something that vampires did to protect humans that they were particularly fond of. While fondness wasn’t the right choice of words here, he did want it to be known that she was for him and him only. 

The best part is that it would hurt. He wanted it to hurt, through fear he could have complete subordination. He wanted a helpless lamb, not a conniving wolf. The only downside was that it would require him to bite her. Though truthfully he could use his quirk to do it, he knew it wouldn’t have quite the same effect. 

Without warning, Kai suddenly sank his teeth into her shoulder, around her right collarbone. His sharpened fangs easily tore through the soft flesh, sweet rich blood pouring into his mouth as she let out the most deliciously pained cry. She tried to shy away from him, tried to get him off, but his hold was vice. 

Pain ripped through her entire body, not just her shoulder. Some sort of dark magic was pulling at her skin, making it hot with fever. Her forehead broke out into a sweat as large tears rolled down her cheeks and onto her neck. She had never known such pain before and she thought she may pass out at any moment. 

He was pulling the blood from her, making her feel lightheaded and almost weightless. The taste was almost too much for him. The thought of just taking every last drop flooding into his mind at such an alarming rate that he was almost unable to stop himself from pulling away at last. Her eyes connected with his bloody mouth, a thick trail of blood seeping down his chin and dripping down onto her bare chest. 

Unfortunately for her he could not use his healing quirk on this particular wound. He needed it to heal naturally in order for the mark to leave a scar. If he healed it completely then it would be all for naught. 

He quickly disappeared into the private bathroom and scrubbed his face and lips clean, though wasting even a drop of her blood made him rage. The good thing about humans was that they could produce more. It wasn’t a finite source. He had to remind himself of that as he willed the hives that had crept up his neck to disappear. Nausea turned his newly full stomach. A glance in the mirror at his now clean face caused the urge to vomit to recede. He grabbed a hand towel and some medical supplies. He had to take good care of his little lamb if he wanted her to last. 

Once back in the bedroom he began to clean the wound. Thankfully the blood hadn’t made it to the bedspread. He cleaned the wound with a surprising amount of gentleness, being sure not to hurt her as he bandaged it up with gauze and medical tape. Once the square of white material was firmly in place he took off his clothes and retreated back into the bathroom to wash his hands. 

After drying them he returned into the bedroom to see her looking at him, her legs quaking beneath her shuddering frame. “Lay down on your stomach,” He said monotonously, watching as she struggled to get onto the bed without the use of her arms and lay down for him. Chisaki put on a new pair of gloves and grabbed a condom from the box that had been placed in the room. They had been specially made to hold up during the certain amount of zeal he tended to have in the bedroom, though he rarely found a specimen good enough for his tastes. Typically after he soiled them he discarded them, but this time would be different. Now she was marked, the skin of her shoulder still burning with pain. 

Chisaki dropped his pants and underwear, watching her thighs continue to shake. “Up on your knees.” He instructed and she did just that, keeping her chest on the mattress with her arms tied behind her back. The view was absolutely magnificent. Her wet folds now on display for him, the tiny whines that came from her throat. How could a virgin be so fucking needy? He didn’t know and didn’t care, somehow her being more willing than he expected was a good thing. Going in dry could be painful and he detested the stickiness of lube. 

He rolled the condom onto his hard cock, a thrill tingling up his spine at the thought of what he was about to do. He’d fix her up nice and good after working her over. Even if she was aroused, this was still going to hurt. 

He positioned his tip at her entrance, looking over her shuddering form. Honestly he had never seen such a beautiful site before. All the virgins he’d taken before were nothing like this one. He kept one gloved hand on her lower back while his other guided his twitching member into her. 

He wasn’t slow or gentle. In fact, he pushed his way in with brute force, knowing that it would be ripping that delicate hymen of hers. He could smell the blood spilling onto the bed and once more his mouth filled with saliva. His little lamb cried out in pain because there was no pleasure to be had here yet. It was much too soon for that. 

Chisaki held back a curse at how tight she was, her pussy clamping down on his cock in a vice grip that had him wanting to blow his load already. He did allow her a moment to adjust to the new feeling of him stretching her out, though it wasn’t long before he dragged himself out and slammed back into her once more. 

Another cry of pain, she wanted to beg him to stop and give her time. Let her get acclimated more before he moved, but she feared what kind of punishment she might receive for such an outburst. Her cries though were music to his ears and he wouldn’t let up, not when he could hear that precious sound over and over again. 

The pain didn’t last forever. Not like she had feared it might. Which each powerful thrust it dulled more and more, until her screams of agony became moans of pleasure. Chisaki wasn’t sure which he liked more, they were both so sweet in their own way. Feeling her body relax, her walls loosening ever so slightly so that it was easier for him to move, did make the act much more enjoyable. He could increase his pace, pounding into her with relentless force that had her toes curling with delight. 

She felt an odd pressurized sensation welling in the pit of her abdomen. It was so foreign and tense that she was at first worried something may be wrong with her. Chisaki grabbed a fistfull of her hair and yanked it backwards, pain searing into her scalp as her walls tightened around him enough to make him let out a groan. 

He pulled her upwards more by her locks, making it so he was entering her at a new angle, one that had her feeling dizzy with ecstasy. The coil tightened even more and she felt like she was going to shatter into pieces if he didn’t stop. One more good thrust and it snapped completely, her first orgasm blossoming and overtaking her in waves. Her already dripping cunt flooded around him and the feeling of her juices on his upper thighs had him breaking out all over again.

Chisaki let out a grunt at the feeling of her coming undone around him. Her walls pulsating and fluttering had him unable to hold back as he hit his peak. His thrusts became incredibly shallow and without rhythm as he pumped white cum into the latex condom. 

He released his hold on her hair, making her fall forward onto her face. She was in too much of a state of bliss to move as she caught her breath. He slowly pulled out of her, allowing her hips to fall onto the bed next. He observed the mix of blood and cum that dripped down her legs and onto the bedspread. Again the sight and smell of the ruby liquid was too much for him to hold back from. Besides, his little angel did so good for him. She deserved a little treat too for taking his dick so well for the first time. 

He untied the tie in order to give her shoulders a break, though they hung limply as she was still dazed from the ordeal. He gently guided her to roll over onto her back, letting her get into a comfortable position as he moved his face between her legs. His nose was practically inside her as he inhaled her natural perfume, his tongue licking at the droplets of blood on her lips. His little lamb shuddered, too tired to make any sort of noise. She was still so incredibly sensitive that his probing tongue had tears leaking from her eyes. 

Chisaki devoured every drop of spilled blood that hadn’t made it to the duvet. Tiny nips of his teeth over her femoral artery had a new wave of arousal building within her. She had no idea that she could feel so much at once. It was maddening already and only became worse when his mouth latched onto her engorged clit suddenly and sucked powerfully. 

She let out a weak cry of protest, the overstimulation simply too much. How could someone want something and not want it so much at the same time? There was an ache between her legs from how much he had stretched out her innocent little hole and now his tongue swirling around her clit had her seeing stars. 

Unable to stop herself, she rutted her hips against him, whimpering through her tears as his eyes snapped up to watch her squirm. Two gloved fingers snaked their way into her pussy, curling with her natural curve before coming back out. He repeated the process, forming a speedy rhythm of fingers and tongue until she was screaming for more. More, more, please, and she was cumming again in no time at all. 

Chisaki removed himself from her, disappearing into the bathroom to clean up his face and take off his soiled gloves and condom. He washed his hands and penis though the hives were still taking over the edges of his face. He’d have to take a full on shower after he was done cleaning her up. 

He came back out with a warm wet towel and a dry one. First he placed a hand on her belly, using his quirk to heal her lower half so that she would no longer be in any pain. He also took the time to repair her hymen so he could deflower her all over again sometime soon. 

Her heavy breathing slowed as the pain dissipated. Though exhaustion was setting in, his delicate healing touch had her feeling warm. He wiped her clean, drying her off before discarding the dirty towels. “Can you sit up, Angel?” He asked in a soft voice that she had no idea he was even capable of. “I need to replace the duvet.” 

She nodded, scrambling to the head of the bed so that he could pull the bloody blanket out from under her. “Get under the sheets.” He said, though it was an order it didn’t sound as cold as his previous orders had. She managed to get under the silken sheets, eyes growing heavy as she rested her head on the pillow. She had been too scared to sleep since she’d been captured by the other gang of vampires. Now the events of the day were making it very difficult to keep her eyes open. 

Chisaki grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and put it over her so that she would not be cold. He observed her tired, frail face. “Sleep, little lamb. I’ll have food waiting for you when you wake.” 

She didn’t even have the energy to nod, simply falling into a much needed state of slumber before he could say anything else. As he observed her, Chisaki couldn’t help but think to himself that Kurono had been right. She was definitely the one.

Mobile Masterlist || Request Rules || Collab Masterlist

Tag List: @dabi-hates-fish​, @hawksward​

[pollylynn]

Title: Guess Who? WC: 1000 Episode: Eye of the Beholder (4 x05)

Serena Kaye is not what anyone thinks she is. Any fool can see that. He, apparently, is any fool. He is also, just as apparently, in the elite line-up known as anyone. He certainly does not know what Serena Kaye is, but he feels like he knows what she isn’t. It’s a good thing and a bad thing, being the one in the know. It’s a triumphant thing and a disheartening one. It’s a tangled mess, but he thinks he’s pretty clear on what Serena Kaye is not.

She is not, whatever his mother may think, the answer to his anemic social life. For one thing, even if his social life were anemic—and even putting aside the one-hundred percent sketchy track record of Martha Rodgers, matchmaker—he would not be going to the woman who thinks that Ibsen is the secret ingredient in a sure-fire recipe for romance.

For another, his social life is not anemic. It’s just . . . recently transformed. It’s still up all night. It’s still go go go. Anyone breaking it down to its certainly-not-anemic components would see that Rick Castle remains a 24/7 kind of guy. It’s just that where he finds himself—the kinds of situations he finds himself in at all hours—have shifted.

Social life 2.0 finds its way into the spaces between the work. It finds its new identity as shy, frank conversations in the break room or at her desk, and in late-night phone calls when he pushes back from his own desk with pages and pages written and a burning need to tell her all about it—the work he’s been doing or the work they’ve been doing and how good it is on both counts. How could Serena Kaye be an answer to all-work when there’s no question there?

And there really, truly is no question there, which feels like something he shouldn’t have to say. It feels like something he can’t say, at least not out loud and not to a certain someone. He is fine—or at least fineish—not saying it out loud. But that certain someone, on the one hand, seems to want very badly to hear him say it, out loud. On the other hand, though, that certain someone is definitely poised to shout in his face that she doesn’t believe a word of it.

A certain someone seems to have some mistaken ideas of her own about Serena Kaye. Frustratingly enough, though, she is not quite as transparent as his mother. Then again, there are crystal-blue mountain-top lakes unseen by human eyes that are not as transparent as his mother. Still, a certain someone could at least give him a peek at her cards here.

She might think Serena Kaye is a home wrecker, and that would actually be delightful. He would relish the very thought of hip checking Ryan and Jenny out of the way when it comes to registering for every pattern for every household good under the sun if he were sure that she thinks of them as having a home—even a prospective, post–wall home—to wreck.

But the delusions she’s laboring under might not be so pleasant. She may be looking at Serena Kaye and experiencing something she thinks is déjà vu. She might be thinking that I don’t need proof to know I’m right and I’m not a cop sound eerily familiar. And while that might appear to be true on the surface, he has a point-for-point rebuttal formulating in the back of his mind for why Serena Kaye is not Throwback Rick Castle in a push-up bra. He will probably, when delivering this devastating rebuttal, scratch any mention of bras, push-up or otherwise. Things are already complicated enough.

But Serena Kaye is not him. She is not even some version of him, one so teeny tiny that he’s barely visible, thanks to the fact that he has been receding in the rear view mirror for most of the time that the two of them have known one another. And even if that version of him and Serena Kay have one or two fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants things in common, shouldn’t that leave a certain someone feeling absolutely secure in the integrity of their once-and-future home?

And if a certain someone is not feeling that security, he would like to refer that someone to a certain panda he once introduced her to. At any point in his life, the idea of Rick Castle 1.0 times Rick Castle 1.0 would have been an idea about as appealing as locked-room blind date with Captain Gates is now. And at this point in his life, when a 1 AM chat with her is a million times more gratifying, satisfying, butterfly-inducing than any lost weekend on the Côte d’Azur ever was, she can’t possibly think that Serena Kaye is anything more than . . . what?

He doesn’t have the answer for that, because he doesn’t know what Serena Kaye is.

She is, for a brief moment, a variation on the work–play theme—a mixture of the two in sharply different proportions. But really, he’ll take his usual any day of the week.

She might be, for an even briefer moment, a catalyst. When a certain someone thinks that he and Serena Kay ushered in the day together, it seems like that certain someone might just answer the question—does she think he should pursue it? But that’s kind of inane, isn’t it? It’s the kind of high school drama Martha Rodgers production might precipitate.

But when it comes down to it and she leaves him with a kiss on the cheek and holding one of two coffees no one has drunk, he has no better idea what Serena Kaye is than when he first saw her in crime scene gloves and cocktail dress.

He just knows she’s not a threat.

A/N: You know what has no morphousness? Neither this nor a mall food court where I have just made bad decisions after having to drop off my laptop for repairs. Posting this from my iPad, so it’s bound to be all fucked up.

Images via fanpop and homeofthenutty: (http://homeofthenutty.com)

[dcforts]

[day 14: christmas lights]

The last question she asks is the one Claire wanted to avoid at all costs.

"Are you coming back to see the lights?"

In the dark of her car, she bites her cheek and breathes into the phone and doesn’t say anything.

"You know, it was one of the first things we did together, remember? We only had one string of lights, but it was pretty special for me," Jody says and her voice is soft and unbearable.

Claire remembers – standing outside with her arms crossed on her chest, holding a tape roll as Jody stood on her ladder and talked about doing something normal for once.

"Alex bought a inflatable Santa. So it's gonna be crazier than ever," she lets out a quiet laugh, "You don't wanna miss that, I'm telling you," she says, with a light tone Claire knows she's faking.

"I don't know, Jody."

There's a sigh from the other side. Claire doesn’t like disappointing her.

But she can’t stop, not even for one night. She’s got a mission. She’s got – nothing. Just dead leads and a bunch of notes she stares at every night. She’s going nowhere.

She’s failing.

"Okay," Jody says in the end, "whatever you decide, kid. We're gonna be waiting for you."

Claire has a knot in her throat and again, stays silent, playing with the keychains attached to her car keys.

Their conversations sound a lot like that these days.

Jody keeps going, "You know, the boys are coming too. They told me last night."

"Yeah, I know. Cas texted," she says, and makes it sound like it means nothing to her, like she hasn't opened up their coversation three times since that morning.

One text came at eleven p.m. as she was brushing her teeth in a bathroom outside a gas station.

It said: We will be coming at Jody's this weekend. I hope to see you there.

She hadn't replied.

Another one, at four a.m., as she was scrubbing graveyard dirt from her hands.

It said: Turning on the lights around this time of year originally meant to attract the sun's light and warmth in opposition to the dark. It sounds to me a little like hope.

She hadn't replied to that one either.

"Claire -" calls her Jody.

She can almost see her, out on the porch, her jacket pulled tight around her, her mouth pressed against the receiver, and the yellow light of the kitchen behind her back. Alex and Patience probably upstairs, asleep, warm.

Something that tastes like homesickness spread inside of her and Claire frowns.

"I have to go," she says.

"Alright, just - "

Claire hates that Jody doesn't know how to talk to her - hates more that she made it so.

It was never easy, but after Kaia -

"I'm fine, Jody" she says and it's final.

She misses her voice as soon as they hang up.

Her phone in her hand, Claire looks up at the desolate parking lot outside her car and the uninviting motel sign blinking in the dark.

She sighs, shoulders her bag and checks into a room. She takes out her notes, but can’t bring herself to look at them, turns on the tv but spaces out every few minutes.

She's cold and tired. She asks herself, not for the first time, if there’s a point to what she’s doing. Kaia's gone and she's not coming back. She asks herself, not for the first time, if she’s overestimated herself. Maybe she’s just not strong enough.

She sleeps with her clothes on, a knife under her pillow and her phone opened to a text conversation she hasn't replied to and wakes up with a weird taste in her mouth and the memory of a dream. Black curls, dark skin, Kaia's eyes and her voice calling, "Claire?"

It’s a sweet dream and it hurts. It hurts and she doesn’t want to be alone. She slips into her car in the morning fog, grabs the steering wheel and takes a deep breath. She tells herself she’s gonna drive towards home just until she won’t feel the need anymore, then she’ll stop.

She doesn’t.

*

When she gets there, they’ve already lighted up the house but not too long before cause they're all still standing outside.

She recognizes the same old strings, the colours twinkling brightly. It’s not an impressive display but Jody loves it. Even that weird looking reindeer on the lawn that Claire’s always wanted to throw out.

Claire turns off the headlights and pulls her car to a stop across the road to watch them from afar.

There's Alex and Patience right up at the front. The inflatable Santa sways and bumps against Patience. She pushes it back and laughs and it makes Claire smile.

A little to the side, Donna, Jody and Sam are chatting and then right behind, Dean has an arm around a familiar trenchcoat.

As soon as she fixes her eyes on him, Cas shifts on the spot, as if he’s sensing her.

She steps out of the car but stays on the carb, to give herself the chance to sneak away without anyone noticing if she wanted.

But Cas turns his head to the side again, leaning in to whisper something to Dean. Dean lets his hand slip off Cas’ shoulder, and throws a quick look behind his back in her direction so she has no doubt that they know she’s there.

She waits for them to betray her presence but it doesn’t happen. Dean looks back at Cas and nods, then turns towards the house again.

It’s just Cas that slips away from the others unseen, crosses the street and quietly joins her side.

"I'm glad you could make it," he says. He tries to catch her eyes but she only gives him a quick look. "I understand you've been feeling a bit down these days," he says, softly.

"What, you got a group chat about me now?" she snaps.

"No," he says and she can hear the frown in his tone. He stays quiet for a moment, then starts again, "You know, what I told you about the lights..."

"I'm failing, okay?" she interrupts, and it was meant to come out sharp, but it comes out weak and full of shame. She keeps her eyes to the ground, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, it's like I'm running in circles," she tries to keep her voice as steady as she can, but it gets so quiet that she's actually surprised he’s able to hear her at all.

"You're not failing," he says, sure, as if he knows something she doesn’t, "We all have setbacks, Claire. What I told you about the lights," he repeats, "I believe it. Certain things can hold the power to keep us going, and serve as a reminder that the despair we’re feeling won't last forever.” He throws her a look, "It can be Christmas lights,” he says, “or simply seeing your family. And I think this is what you need now.”

Claire scoffs but her eyes are stinging. She keeps her head down, "Is that what you tell yourself?"

He ignores her bitter tone and replies earnestly, "I do. More often than you think.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. He makes it sound easy and she wants to believe him because she’s tired and she badly needs to hear that it’s fine, or that it will be at least.

Cas doesn’t disappoint.

"You are doing good Claire,” he says, “and you will be alright. You're not betraying your mission if you give yourself a break and try again tomorrow."

She finally looks up at him. "Do you tell yourself that too?" she asks again, her tone softer this time.

Cas sighs, "Not as often as I should," he admits. He smiles a little, "But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Rest, recharge. Maybe indulge in Jody's kolaches?" he says, "I heard they're quite scrumptious."

She surprises herself with a smile. It does sound appealing, "Yeah, they're pretty great."

He raises his eyebrows in encouragement, "Enough to make you cross the street?"

She can't stifle the laugh that bubbles up in her chest. It makes her feel lighter all of the sudden, and think that maybe she should try. She’s got nothing to lose after all. She rolls her eyes a little, "I guess."

Cas smiles at her and puts a hand on her shoulder, "Good."

She doesn't know how to tell him how lucky she feels to have him, so she puts a hand on his on her shoulder and hopes it's enough, "Thanks," she says and it comes out a little choked up. “Do you really -”

He squeezes her shoulder and doesn’t let her finish, “Whatever happens Claire, I’m proud of you,” he says and before she can say anything, or worse, start crying, he adds, “Go find Jody now.”

Claire nods then. She looks back at the house, takes a deep breath and crosses the street.

She taps Jody on her shoulder and as she turns around, Claire sees her mouth widen in a delighted laugh and her eyes fill with joy. As Jody wraps her arms around her and lets out a small sob in her ear, Claire closes her eyes.

From the distance she hears cries of surprise and then Donna and Patience and Alex are hugging her from all sides.

The lights of the house dance behind her eyelids and she feels warmth and relief and something a little like - a little like hope.

joining @bend-me-shape-me in doing this!