#nothing here surprised me lol
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instagram dump with your selfship! (model/actor!au sel x satoru ver.)
seltoru behind-the-scenes dump — work days and winding down~
liked by sstoru and others
sellybelly last week's shenanigans ✨ 1: shoot day! 📸 2: nails sponsored by mr. gojo satoru 💅 3. loved our outfits for the awards 🥺 (thank you dior! 💫) 4. that feeling when you change into home clothes tho >> 5. maybe he's pretty sometimes 🙄 6. caught him in the act (texting me during a meeting 😭) 7. satoru in hair & makeup (some good sleep he's had there 🤧) 8. our lil treat to end the week 🍓😋 9. phone hijacked by mr. gojo satoru 🧿🧿 👁️👁️
sstoru knew you were obsessed with me 😌
thanks for the tag my love @tteokdoroki this was so so fun 🥺 tagging: anyone else who wants to do this!! it's so pretty and so fun 🥺
#seltoru.🤍#IS THIS JUST AN EXCUSE FOR ME TO INCLUDE CHANYEOL --- yes#i love the colours in this one 🥺#thought i'd do some kind of actor/model/public figure au 🥺 and show the duality!! of going to events and just living life#i imagine this as some kind of au where gojo and i work together on multiple projects#he's got this playboy persona to him that the media likes to play up so i was fully expecting that going into work with him#but boyyyyyy was i surprised to find that he isn't like that at all#he did try to flirt like. the first few times. but honestly i think that's just him with everyone ! it's like a go-to formula for#his interactions. idt he fully means to be flirty i think it's just what he's rehearsed to be more palatable to people he meets#or works with for the first time#because other than that he's truly just. INSUFFERABLE LMAO#it took me a while to get used to how obnoxious he was on set LOL and we did not end that first project together on speaking terms#but gojo satoru is nothing but insistent and we got assigned together on another project :/ then another :/ and god bless me#bc was i actually finding him a little bit endearing ?#i guess it all worked out in the end dhbfsd otherwise we wouldn't be here
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I had a lot of fun reading your LO critiques and reading rekindled but now I'm just disappointed that you're slowly but surely going insane because of a comic
#wym “going” insane#we've been here for a whiiiile LOL#though if i can be honest anon#this is the most zen i've been with the downfall of LO#you should have seen me a year ago when we were discovering the stuff that's in hindsight now#at this point nothing surprises me and i'm at peace knowing i don't have to have any faith in it anymore#if it weren't for the insanity i went through with LO then rekindled wouldn't exist#sacrifices must be made and in this case those sacrifices are my brain cells LOL#lore olympus critical#lo critical#anti lore olympus#lore rekindled#lore rekindled comic#ama#ask me anything#anon ama#anon ask me anything
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Not a bad get from work's sample sale the other day tbh 😌
#ore no kao#also ending up with <6hrs of sleep tonight after sleeping in this weekends 😩#fun hang for a friend's bday; watched some older good snl/onion vids before HOTD (which i don't really watch but i'm here for camaraderie)#and now work in the morn 😴#(also cute friend from wed's date thanked me for holding his umbrella for next time and said he had a great time#but hasnt replied to my texts thursday saying i liked exploring our chemistry and that i was thinking of kissing him again#or from yday hoping he's had a good few days and that i feel bad for still having his umbrella given how it's poured this weekend#[he'd left it in our bathtub to dry as we fooled around but the roomie was in there as it got late and he left lol]#he's working two jobs and has 12-hr shifts fridays and sats so i'm hoping it's nothing but a little surprising for how well wed night went#and it would be nice to see him more so i guess we'll see)#(for dates and also getting to suck him again 😩)
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EleVeN!11!!1! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10½)
Fuzzy Edgar forever. I don’t remember the context now, maybe there wasn’t any to begin with haha, he’s just so cute with slightly longer hair! And upset :)
Some Diaryfic snuggles ♥ Scriabin can be so sweet to him at the worst time ah, I love Edgar’s hard on his arm and Scriabin’s pulling his hair out of his injured eye 💕
While I was very inspired by the Red Flags meme going around (we’ll get there), I was just as inspired by Mixed Messages - this exchange is so silly and them to me. He’s just trying to flirt back, you don’t have to make it harder! That’s just what Scriabin does haha
🥐 🖕 D:’
What else did you expect Scriabin to do with texting capabilities?? I’m still very enamoured with the thought of Scriabin using emojis and Edgar using emoticons - they are sort of different generations!
Here’s the Red Flags! So gd catchy, damn lol. I was specifically inspired by the X is on a date with themself edits, it was so tempting to consider a Ladyverse version as well haha. Edgar’s uncomfortable smiles were so incredibly fun hehe ♪
Y’see because with that many eyes- you get it
Edgar’s little “Or do I??” makes me laugh haha, anything to get out of this situation!
Waiter Jake ❤️💕💖💞💗 Rescue him!
Very inspired by this one specifically, he’s totally innocent! Not offputting at all! ♥
Alright well good luck with that bye. I love Edgar being menaced into continuing this date hehe ♫
Scriabin just keeping on the pressure for this date to keep going! Slight neg in “Couldn’t you have dressed up a little nicer though? ✨” pft
Brief aside with Scriabin!Edgar out drinking with my OC Mint who has very openly had a crush on the Vargases for a while now, thanks Mint
Honestly it was all just an excuse to turn him down and have Scriabin call Edgar his “landlord” haha; I was feeling nostalgic and went back to reread some old YuGiOh fics and had been so long away that I forgot that was a term used in the fandom to refer to the bodies of people the various Yamis would take over hehe ♪ It felt very fitting!
I can call him that but don’t you call him that >:(
Angy Scriabin!Edgar, the usual
Handplates re/reading doodles!! Hghgh!!! The theses of these stories of codependent relationships cut me to my very core I’ll have you know 💕 I managed to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of Handplates!Vargas but I was this close, lemme tell you. The subtle shift in phrasing changes so much ;; I love them dearly
A kind-of leftover WOY style Scriabin, since I made his hair all pointy in my first doodles - the WOY style is quite soft and round! He looks very silly hehe
Another song that is, yes, unironically in my Vargas playlist. This is a Nny song to me and you can pry it from my cold dead correct hands. That beautiful facial hair ♪
More Handplates/Vargas, this time obviously inspired by my holiday request 💕💖💞 I honestly rather like how calm Gaster seems whenever he’s in Edgar’s vicinity, he is a fairly unassuming human haha. Is it because he doesn’t laugh very often? Oh no that’s sad actually haha
I’m not done with Blank Slate Ch. 4 just yet - hopefully soon! - but this lineup stands out to me especially since I made it while rereading Handplates. Specifically after Gaster is pulled out of the Void - Gaster having to face the people he loves who have no memory of him really spoke to me in a Blank Slate way - the scenario of being able to completely start over and have never done anything to hurt your loved ones, at the expense of never having done anything to them, as far as they’re concerned, ah! It hurts so beautifully!! That’s one of the central themes I’m chasing so it was so cool to see in that context! Very inspiring ♥
So remember how in my Sims post, one Vargas family ended up with two Todds? Well what if that but actually
Twin Todd AU, just try and stop me
The saddest little twins y’ever did see ahh 💔 Having to share Shmee because there’s just the one of him! Who has a greater need :’0
I actually went and skimmed the SQUEE! comics to get a better grasp on the Casils, I’d forgotten basically everything haha. It seemed in keeping that if they could barely keep track of the one Todd, they wouldn’t bother even differentiating between two :’) Taking Todd shifts to better share the load
At least they have each other! More helpful than a stuffed bear who eats trauma? On par at least?
I also happened to catch this screenshot of the Todds gossiping about their shadow-dad, though I’m not sure who had seen him :0 By now I have found an adoption memory-loss prevention mod - thank goodness :D - but it wasn’t installed at the time! :0 Blue Todd is the Todd who’d already been the Vargases’ kid, Red Todd is newly-adopted Todd :)
Greetings in order! One of the Todds came by to scout out this strange new person
It’s a name to go by, if nothing else
Reporting back from the field, he has served his big narrative influence hehe ♥
Uh, yeah, about that- While I don’t doubt you were seeing double at times, uhm-
Surprise! Double the sons!
Only so much space in this apartment! They’re probably used to sharing a space to sleep weh, the implications of this AU are sad! I have no one to blame but myself haha
I have never been able to give up this twisted love I have for Edgar getting flustered about incredibly silly things and Scriabin chiding him with just his name haha ♥ Real twins do not delegitimize whatever the hell you two are to each other 💕
Who me? An affinity for how names shape identity and what it means to be a whole separate person? In love with this story in particular? You must be mistaken. But really, what would their name(s) be? I also love the subtle differences even just here - one Todd speaks up for the other! Dynamics ✨
1994, 2004, basically the same year innit. Scriabin is so much more on the up-and-up about the latest technology than Edgar, that old man
In which the offscreen is me lol, I was so blown away by how much more advanced the Sims 2 was from the Sims 1 ♥ Scriabin doesn’t need a box with a program in it, he has the absolute funnest toy in the world already!
And isn’t that the most important part ♪
Scriabin immediately makes himself and hooks up with every Sim he can, Edgar uncomfortable and totally not watching a~ny of the animations hehe ♪ Honestly though, the thought of Scriabin being genuinely excited to virtually get it on with any-and-every delights me haha
Look. Look, okay, look- If I could choose what to be inspired by, I would but sometimes
Obviously Scriabin would be a long Furby lol, this exchange can be summarized to “Scriabin no D:” “Scriabin yes >:D”
He’s complaining that Edgar ignoring him sleeping is boring haha
I did briefly lose my mind over how the Furbish word for “I/me/my/mine” is all the same - linguistically it makes sense, self-possessive, but in this, in their context ♥
Based on that one Wojak format - looks into the camera like “Yes. I am in your head. Insanity tracks” pfft
And it’s @jaspravex with the steel chair!! I hadn’t drawn any of them in like a month and then all of a sudden- I was 1000% not expecting to be hit with such a huge wave of inspiration but gosh and dang did this line of thought light me up. The implication! The jealousy! Wow that’s a lot all at once I wasn’t expecting ♥ Somehow these two never ended up on my shipping chart, dynamics I swear haha ✨
There’s September through February for the fourth go ‘round! Wild when I put it like that :0 Like clockwork, these lads ♪
#💟#Doodles#Art#Sketchdump#Edgar#Scriabin#Jake#Todd#Shmee#Nny#There's a few errant things in here as well - The Sims 2 - Handplates#......Furbies#Look it's fine don't worry about it lol#Oh this one was so nice to edit <3 I've made it once <3 <3 When was the last time I could say that about one of these ♥#And you know what that means right? Other than the fact that I've gotten a bit better at making these without breaking them lol#It means my art production is finally actually properly for realsies slowing down! Not as many to compile over a three month period!#That last one really did surprise me that inspiration hit me upside the head after quite literally a month of nothing#Even my scratch pages hadn't taken precedent for a bit! And yeah this technically still isn't all of what I've made in the meanwhile lol#Once I finish Ch. 4 of Blank Slate there might be another :) Or I might let it go for another chapter or so ♪#Either way! Only took - when did I first go on hiatus lol#July of '22 so a year and a half-ish lol#To finally start to taper off - this is tapering off this is my airtight example of tapering off lol#Handplates and the Sims 2 were my big driving forces this time around hehe <3 Who knows what will catch my attention towards them next!#Lots of Todd AUs around here when I look huh :0 He is best boy he deserves the attention ♪#As always I'll be back in April as well for my personal Vargasversary and to be a sap hehe ♥#Never empty of thoughts or love! Just progressively quieter - for now ♪
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Could someone help me figure out why the old Diviner appears in the search party of the future that Dal disrupts. Shouldn't he be young too, like the flashbacks in season 1? This is strange to me if it's supposed to be 1:1 until the launch goes wrong. It doesn't seem like a mistake to have the old Diviner here.
#perhaps a surprise tool that will hinder us later? (s3)???#Is this actually Ilthuran on some kind of mission of his own to make sure things happen correctly#cos he was YOUNG in season 1 flash...err backs to this time frame where he and the Order sent ships through the wormhole#if it's parallel then why is his age different#maybe it doesnt matter and im reading into this too much#the other guard has weirdly similar hair tendrils to the young diviner why show that when they've all been covered.#They do reuse models but it seems so focused on two of them here at once#its probably nothing but im trying to figure this timeline thing out lol and they still had to launch ships through at some point..#anyway lmao no one could answer me#startrek prodigy spoilers#startrek prodigy#02x04#star trek prodigy#star trek prodigy spoilers
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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HIII KITH AND KIN !!!!!! i'm finally officially rebranding myself as squirrel, just as god intended. (i <3 squirrels)
if anybody wants to ask me abt this character i would love u forever~~ :333333 (read as: in my first draft of this post, i rambled about him for way too long, then subsequently got embarrassed and deleted it all LOL)
more squirrel related screaming in the tags if you are interested >:3333 ok bye i hope you're doing well bye !!!
#squirrel posting#<-if you want to filter out any future gushing over squirrels lol#I LOVE SQUIRRELS MAN#my profile picture on all my personal accounts is the first google image search when you look up grey squirrel#instagram? squirrel. discord? squirrel. steam? squirrel.#i lived in a city devoid of squirrels for 7 months a couple years back#worst 7 months of my life >:(((#(thankfully i have awesome friends who would send me pictures of squirrels :))#(btw nothing against hatsune mitsurugi ive just been meaning to squirrel-ify myself for weeks now)#im honestly surprised ive managed to not mention squirrels on here at all#gray squirrel#grey squirrel#squirrel#how many more ways can you tag squirrel#SQUIREEELLL#would you guys be surprised if i told you i have doodled some of the ace attorney characters as squirrels#heheheh#pfp !!#okart#dnd character#artists on tumblr
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looking on at the ✨hype✨ about last stage like
#i wanna be excited about it too!!!!! lemme in~~~~~~~~~~#maybe it’s just bc i didn’t listen to the ‘loid version on the koishiteru album but i think im not as excited about it as i should be lmaooo#on jp twt there are fans screaming about last stage and i. feel kinda left out ngl??? fomo’s hittin’ like a truck and idek w h y#but me? im just clinging to meoto to ✨carry on✨#idk why but it kinda sounds like that song aka***ki enstrs sang to beat r****ts to a pulp in the anime#i dont even like enstrs anymore so idk why that song was the first thing i thought of when i heard the preview help#in any case!!!!! i hope the rest of the new songs get mvs!!!! especially meoto!!!!!!!!!!!!#going by the love chuchuchu(chu! kawaikute gomen—) im p sure that’s gonna be the moge mv lol#wont be surprised if their outfits in the mv are the same ones that they’re wearing in the moge-ilustrated album standees…#if that is indeed how the oshi no mahou mv is gonna go… all of you will now owe me tree fiddy >:) if not nothing happens idk#im very much looking forward to seeing where the completely new direction of upcoming lxl songs is gonna take us though#(p r a y i n g for lxl falling for each other in 4k hd p ls—)#g o d i should really get some sleep my innate state of crabbiness is creepin’ in the tags here too aaaaaa
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#Nothing to see here folks!#Just an old bitch whining and being annoying about stuff - move along! Pay no attention to the hater behind the curtain!#Wrestling is Bad Actually#*Heavy sigh*#I miss wrestling#I really do#I miss watching it and enjoying it and getting excited about it and writing fic about it#But I just can't do any of that anymore. Tony Khan ain't letting me LOL#And I have boring real life adult problems and wrestling used to be my escape from all that but NOT ANYMORE!#It's just really hitting me today how much I'm in Fandom Limbo#I stopped watching AEW months ago because - to put it as diplomatically as possible - it is very much Not For Me anymore#And everything I've seen and heard since then has only confirmed I made the right decision there#But I don't currently have another hyper-fixation to fill the void#So I'm just stuck here desperately waiting for something else to come and save me from this nightmare#And I don't want to be a hater! I used to fucking LOVE AEW and I take no joy in how much I think it sucks nowadays#And I don't wanna be a party pooper either - I see everyone else squeeing about the Bucks or Junglecorpse or MJF and Ospreay or Bryan#And it's just like...I'm glad y'all are having fun - really! But GOOD LORD does none of that appeal to me in the slightest#Most of my faves aren't getting booked - let alone pushed!#And the few that are are even worse off because Tony's booking is SO BAD it makes me unable to give a shit about wrestlers I used to love#I feel like Lieutenant Dan on New Years - everyone else is having a grand ol' time while I'm just sat here like 🙁#I feel like I'm going through the fives stages of grief in regards to fandom at the moment and it is not a good time let me tell ya#So yeah - don't be surprised if I stop being a wrestling blog the second the new Dragon Age game comes out#Save me Bioware! You're my only hope!
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i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh
#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡#[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear]#i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised#but like. i always just wanted them to like me#i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to#have my back for once vs everything else#i remember such a specific moment right#and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had#and they ended up talking before we left#the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me#& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this#n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be#better#and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face..........#and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it#i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have#a chance#maybe they do like me#like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them#and then she did it again#and again#but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed#for years n years#my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover#and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home#always just wanting to escape#to living through bad things outside of it too#just piling on top#from 6-16#and i kept going back
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oh also shes straight
#and the part of me thats empty hopeless and constantly passively suicidal scores a goal!#a win for the agony within!#a loss for whimsy hope and serenity and the part of the me that is trying to heal and move forward without the weight of it all defining me.#it's like. im not surprised. why did i have expectations#why did i hope. i shouldnt hope. im so stupid. i shouldnt hope i should know better than that. im scarily lacking substance. im a shell#im a puppet. i cant form lasting relationships im an actor im a liar it would've never worked anyway#-> me going insane in real time#-> i sound so dramatic like go watch txt to do and chill out maybe ⁉️#idk lol 😐#im not giving up bc she said we should hang out again and friendship is always an option and she already#knows too much about me at this point so it's too late to back out#here is to befriending her for the sake of allowing myself to exist imperfectly and for the sake of hanging out with someone every week for#funsies and nothing else. we dont need to have some grand connection. she doesn't need to have a crush on me. we can just be#on campus buddies#we can meet during the summer at some points too maybe#idk. idk i want to disappear i think bc i really feel like i embarrassed myself by being so open about my insecurities#i should've put on the mask i usually wear#but i didnt#and everything thats pathetic about me was on full display#i don't know. god. i dont know#what matters is i made her smile a few times. my unnecessary commentary got a laugh out of her a few times too#the world is still spinning#the air was refreshingly chilly on my way home today#i got rained on and came to class looking beautiful despite my carefully slicked back hair falling into my eyes#my spanish professor agreed with my thoughts on the text we were analysing#z.post
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anyone have anything about the resistance they wanna share in my inbox
#i know the answer is no but AUGH#im having Thoughts but i cant get them into words and it's aggravating me each time i try to type it lol#im sooooooooo normal about the new lore that dante had no choice in this war#he never believed that. he never believed anything. he did what he was told#maybe he did believe that stuff to some degree but he was never told there was another option#the resistance probably did surprise him. why would anyone dare oppose shen? oppose ME?#do you think he could have been a better person if he had been saved from all that before the resistance#or do you think he was just as messed up in the rift#i like to think there was hope for him in some reality out there#jhksdgnsdglsdl..... i need to beam my thoughts directly into someone's head#ark get over here im having a moment we need to be in a 7 hour discord call#chat#sorry (not sorry) for the sudden activity after not posting much the past few days#im pretty much immobile today so i have nothing else to do#and i cant sit at my desk so no games either. hurts too much :/#i already said all that but im saying it again bc if i stop typing i will explode
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prior to literally this summer, 1989 was the only taylor swift album I had any real attachment to. like I had kinda liked a few of the hits from red, but 1989 was the first album of hers with songs I genuinely loved and would seek out from time to time. it was also the first (and for a long time, only) one of her albums I ever listened to start to finish. so this is the only re-recording where I feel anything about losing the original tracks. not that they don't exist anymore but like...if there is one place where I respect taylor swinging her wealth and power around, it is definitely in support of artists owning the rights to their works. so I won't be listening to the originals on streaming anymore in support of that.
but I can't pretend the new versions don't sound noticeably different to me. some are improved, some...I'm not as sure of. but I notice it in a way that I honestly couldn't have pointed out as much with the fearless, red, or speak now re-recordings, beyond her voice maturing, because I never cared about those albums before (honestly I still don't care about fearless, and red is still hit and miss for me, sorry babe. I slept on speak now tho I'll admit that). but 1989 is different. I have legitimate nostalgia for 1989.
#style and blank space are the two that will take the most getting used to#clean was a bit jarring to hear in her more mature voice but in a good way#out of the woods and this love sound way better now#but I feel like she's lost a little bit of theatricality on this new recording#which is most evident in blank space I think#a little bit in wonderland too#I'll get used to it lol#...I'm still not sure how I ended up down this rabbit hole like I've now listened to the majority of her discography#where before it was mostly just 1989 and a few of other songs here and there in my playlists#like I was never impressed by reputation and I hated me! so much that I never bothered with lover#I ignored the pandemic albums completely#...but then idk man midnights impressed me and then would've could've should've came for my whole throat#the re-recordings have given me a decent excuse to re-examine her older work and some of it has surprised me#some hasn't lol#...but that was never the case for 1989 like#I always liked this album there was nothing there to re-examine#anyways I'm rambling
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Bro why are legal websites in the UK so badly designed and clunky and why do they say they’re going to send you a verification email and then they don’t and why is there no button to say “hey I didn’t get my verification email, can you send it again?”
#i’m JUST trying to find out if my friend’s stupid ex got sentenced for burglary yet and if so; what he got#i don’t even know if they sentenced him on the spot because i didn’t get to attend the trial#i went in thinking that i was going to sit in the gallery of the court but i ran into my friend (who was the witness) and we were like ‘hey!#and the usher was like ‘oh she’s your friend? you can keep her with you as your support person if you want’ and my friend said she wanted#to do that. so i obviously wasn’t going to let her sit in a featureless room drinking watery tea alone#anyway her ex pleaded guilty because he knew her evidence would’ve got him sent the fuck down anyway lol#so we went and got thai food#neither of us ever saw any of the trial like i said. which is fine because i honestly didn’t want to look at that man#not that i’m intimidated by him or anything. he’s just ugly#but now I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED#googling his name brings up nothing which is no surprise as he’s a petty criminal. in every sense of both of those words#the magistrates court in our town is seemingly too small to warrant a proper website. plus none of the legal websites are cooperating#with me. i joined one only to find out that all i’d be able to see is the court schedule for that day#which would literally only be useful if i was a lawyer; magistrate; aspiring to be one of those; or was going to be in court that day#also it only shows THAT DAY. i can’t even look at last week when all this happens#the website that i THINK will actually show me such cases is the one that’s not sending me a verification email#i’m losing my mind here. the kicker is i know neither of us will ever find out what he got unless I; ME; do all this research#she doesn’t even know what to google or how to spell it. like she would fall at the first hurdle#the only other thing i can think to do is get her to call the courthouse and see if they’ll tell her since she was the witness#but they might not have had the sentencing yet#next thing is i’ll get into this website finally and it’ll just show a guilty verdict and no sentence. and i’ll be like I KNOW#the prosecutor told us personally. i KNOW he pleaded guilty because if he hadn’t; we probably wouldn’t have been able to get thai food#in a timely manner because my friend would’ve been getting asked about the world’s most ill advised phone call#well maybe not the most but. you get what i mean. who calls up their ex; who hates them; while they’re committing a crime. bizarre#personal#rant
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rogue one posting like attention everyone who didn't like all the characters or get why they did things: i Am better than you
#did not follow General Posting then or now. even if i did it would not be The Full Picture anyways#like sure seems overall rogue one is liked as it should be. saying starwars fans were tepid / mixed reactions abt it may also not be apt#like uhh maybe starwars fans in their twenties/thirties? and even then lol this is a lot of people#but the fact that there's Enough of w/e pattern of ''how can we like these characters though'' or ''how can i understand jyn''#like the answer is just Get Good....does one need to imagine someone is glup shitto's great uncle to accept character introductions or.#as discussed don't even know what the problems are w/jyn but i'll stan to pick up the slack. it's not hard#the least glimpses like what do you Mean it's unfathomable motivations why cassian didn't noscope dads mikkelspace...ffs#head in hands i have to do every last thing myself. it's not difficult!! what anyone's even talking about....#a helpful hint is one might just have to go along for some time without assuming you have all the info you need about a person#or certainly be ready to adjust it like ''oh but this seems contrary to other previous things'' like a) reconcile it & b) is it really?????#It's The Self Assurance lmfao like. Eye don't get to be hype abt a protagonist or always understand the motivations for things?#that's a tuesday. i Realize i may be missing things or w/e. but it's like regularass media criticism like the protagonist confused me#or when someone did something surprising i went ''i should not be surprised by anything'' sooo could've been better#YOU could've been better. *I* understand.#rogue one#and i mean i'm in alignment w/the evident consenses out here like overall [rogue one v good] is agreed [andor is like omg] is agreed#so i can like; know peace. & idc anyways lmfao it Could be my personal opinion#but in the cagematch smackdown of media analysis i will defeat the weak overconfident ''lol why'd anyone do any of that'' Pathetic.#suplexing or whatever like You're Nothing
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started yellowjackets with my family awesomeee……. lez out and kill in the woods ladies!!!!!!!!!
#also i was like. how long would it take you guys to eat someone if you were stranded like that#because ive thought abt it a lot lately esp since i watched castaway bc i think id do it right away#like not KILL someone and eat them that would take longer. but if there was an accident and people died during it id probably eat them#right away bc like. theres a whole bunch of meat going to waste. itll only attract predators for later and stink up the place if u have to#take shelter there. plus like if theres a crash it would scare away anything small you could catch in the area for a day or two so that food#option is gone. and then you have to scavenge like what if theres nothing around or u cant tell whats okay to eat#its better to eat someone fast to keep your energy up for how much work youll need to do finding shelter and water and food to survive#beyond a few days#anyways. i didnt say all this before bc i wanted their true answers and my mom said not for a very long time/probably not and my dad said#probably not WHICH SURPRISED ME BAD BC I THOUGHT HE WOULD SAY YES#and i was like. well lol. heres my opinion 🫢#idk if id actually be able to pull it off BUT. im just saying that would be the best option#better to cannibalize people already dead rather than kill someone youve gone through horrors to survive with as i always say!
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