#nothing exceptional but nice read
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Books Read In 2022/2023:
The Financial Diet: A Total Beginner’s Guide to Getting Good With Money by Chelsea Fagan & Lauren Ver Hage (2018)
The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow (2015)
I Want to Be a Wall Vol. 1 by Honami Shirono (2022)
My Wandering Warrior Existence by Kabi Nagata (2022)
wow, no thank you: essays by Samantha Irby (2020)
A Tropical Fish Yearns For Snow Vol. 1 by Makoto Hagino (2017)
I Married the Male Lead’s Dad by Eongsseu & Gyammi & San-ho & Ko-eun Chae (2021-present)
Franken Fran Frantic Vol. 1 by Katsuhisa Kigitsu (2019)
Franken Fran Frantic Vol. 2 by Katsuhisa Kigitsu (2020)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2022media#2023media#so financial diet is. fine. theres things in it that make me want to go insane bc#idk how these people live its insane the wealth#but it does give an okay launch off point to look up like savings terms#wouldnt rec it but its an old gift from my mom#i liked the scorpion rules!#it has some. issues. pretty sure the author is white.#but overall p minor just offhand comments that made me cringe.jpg and i enjoyed it#i want to be a wall is cringe.jpg in parts bc the fl is a bl fangirl#but overall its interesting its a marriage between an ace lady and a gay man#everything and anything by kabi nagata literally makes me weep like a baby. god.#wow no thank you was a fine read! easy read and good writing the humor just didn't always gel#like it just wasn't greatly to my taste lmao im not exactly a potty humor guy#tropical fish yearns for snow was a soft nice start#nothing exceptional but nice read#i married the male lead's dad is actually incredibly good#i wasn't expecting it to be this good. the lady is cringe-y to start#but she sees the ppl as well. ppl overtime (novel isekai)#and the PLOT is so. i want to know whats going on.#franken fran was always a fave manga and i was v excited to see a sequel!#its a guro body horror black comedy manga i guess is the best way to describe it#v much taste depends lmao
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doodled Stayn from living with magicians webtoon... I like him :) (just felt like drawing random webtoon characters fsr lmao)
#living with magicians#독신마법사기숙아파트#stayn#idk his last name lol#my art#im like 100% certain theres nothing in those tags either#I've been keeping up w this webtoon but I havent said anything abt it bc i dont necessarily rec it..?#i mean its decent so read if u want but i dont have brainrot for it so dkfjdj...#except for this guy he's fun :) love when stories have a blonde guy and hes kinda fucked up <3#he's like a cross btwn milk cookie & clotted cream cookie but more of an asshole than both of them KDJDK#(can i just say i rly prefer his design from ep 1 tho..... girl why'd u straighten ur hair... 💔 glowdown)#oh also he fits 1 of my fav tropes... asshole healer :)#anyway yea i dont necessarily rec it ITS NOT BAD BUT NOT 1 OF MY FAVS IS ALL... 🤧#(try to only rec webtoons i feel strongly abt bc i want u guys to trust my taste dkfjdk)#BTW IM NOT DISSING IT AT ALL its a nice webtoon!! if u also read it and like it then yaay#ok i do highkey love stayn tho hes the only 1 i have brainrot for. i <3 2 faced blonde bitches
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the nature of being a johnny lawrence fan, is that it is often indistinguishable from being a johnny lawrence hater, and I don't think I have that with any other character. usually I'm very protective of my faves (including in cobra kai, daniel, sam, kreese, and tsilver), but johnny, I very much enjoy reading all the reasons people dislike his character, nodding along like "yeah what an inconsistent mess, you're so right, carmen pls u deserve better narrative to work with, terry silver was telling the truth when he mocked his fatherhood abilities, but alas the writing will never support it"
#johnny lawrence fans 🤝 johnny lawrence haters -- wtf is going on with johnny lawrence's character in s5????????#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#ck#i can write miles of text about the queercoding of johnny lawrence#and also about how terribly inconsistent the writing for him is due to a sexist notion that he must be a Badass#actually i think johnny lawrence is one of the most interesting case studies of this phenomenon#obvs most famously archetyped by dean winchester -- but i think jlaw is even More That#1. literal 80s character so all these people read him through a particular nostalgia lens#2. in a show that is possibly Thee most trope-filled nostalgia show i have ever seen be that way Accidentally#(riverdale was doing it on purpose -- stranger things... yeah maybe but i think cobra kai is even more on the nose actually)#3. played by quite a sensitive actor actually who deeply cares about the nuance of the character#which appears to be at constant war with the intentions of the narrative he has to appear in#4. and like. the writers Know about the queercoding because they've interacted with fans (nicely actually)#but they have literally no idea what to do with it but ALSO have lampshaded it occasionally#it's... it's fascinating....#they want so badly for him to win but they're going about it the wrong way -- the narrative continues to be circular/an inward spiral#nothing has changed except for the reactions of other characters#jlaw must remain static because of our nostalgia but also be important to the story somehow#the Tension of it all is personally delicious to me but man is it frustrating as well
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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i just woke up in the middle of the night, started immediately like catastrophising because that’s just what my brain does. and then, not 30 seconds into it, the concept of Jay Ferin was inserted into my mind. i instantly felt better. she’s like my guardian angel <3
#kicks my feet like an anime school girl#jayyy <3 love herrr <3#ok i back to sleep now#i just thought to share that cause it’s very funny to me :]#i would like to emphasize that the last part is a joke but also not because wow girly just ‘get down mr president’ed me#except the bullet is the crippling feeling of impending doom and the president is me#which is crazy because i would never ever want to be the president i mean truly FUCK that but whatever#lmao okay but nice to know my brain still loves my pirates :]#i’ve been very very focused only on reading Worm and a few other books that i haven’t even watched Judgement yet :(#which isn’t a bad thing cause i loveeee worm sooo much and there’s nothing saying i have to watch the episode immediately upon its upload#but still man idk i think jays losing steam with keeping my anxiety back#she’s only one girl </3#a very lovely girl that i adore! but only one nontheless#though i’m sure there are people on here that would disagree hehehe#ok cal go to sleep now#baiiiii everyone :3#see you all tomorrow where i will have a very rough school day and then watch jrwi and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again#late night rambles are done for now :]#over the hills
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i always said that once i stop caring what other people think about me it’s over for you bitches and it’s finally happened i’m literally untouchable
#everyone else my age like oh i’m getting married ! oh i had a baby ! me i’m becoming evil#i decided months ago that i’m done i live in the worst place in the country or on earth even and these asshole people are not getting any#more out of me. i don’t smile at anyone anymore. i don’t make eye contact. i’m done with this place and these rude ass people#so today i was at the gas station and pulled up behind someone and got out and the pump didn’t work so i got back in#and waited for the girl in front of me to be done bc everywhere else had a line anyway#so when she finally leaves the asshole in the jeep behind me is yelling at me through his window and literally about to rear end me#and i’m trying to tell him that one doesn’t work so he’s still yelling at me through the window and i keep mouthing IT DOES NOT WORK#bc he simply is not getting and finally he sticks his piece of shit head out the window and LISTENS to me and i said it DOESNT WORK.#it’s BROKEN.#and i realize he thought i was just waiting to be at the first pump and holding up the line but i don’t fucking care#so then he goes. oh. and he gets out and i said you can try it but it says it’s broken.#monotone bc i’m not trying to be nice#and he’s like oh ok. then i take back everything i said about you in the car LOL#and i said. ok.#and he said nah i wasnt saying anything about you#and i said nothing#then he’s a fuck face so he’s all embarrassed and acting like we’re buddies now#so he’s like huuuh. usually there’s an attendant walking around.. and i say i havent seen anyone. not looking at him#and he goes huuuh usually they put a sign or something out that it’s broken and i said nothing so like#the slimy piece of shit he is he silently gets back in his car and waits and then i leave and i’m like#in this circumstance 100% normally my heart would have been pounding out my chest bc i’m afraid of confrontation and who isnt afraid of#men yelling at them but this time i felt nothing except anger bc why the fuck are you trying to start something with me in the fucking gas#station go to another fucking line if you’re in that big of a rush and also learn how to fucking read when it says pump out of order#before you try to fucking rear end me which go for it btw bc i have dash cams and anyway#i’m so fucking sick of living here and i’ll never get out#but. i’m proud of myself for not being afraid or scared and just dealing with that piece of shit straightforward
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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I told myself it was ok to get excited that you were getting into Inception and I liked the thoughts you were having, while I cautioned myself that you didn't appear to be leaning towards my ship or my fave and the majority of the fandom doesn't, and now I feel like I'm being too parasocial wondering if your reblog about "hated female characters you don't care for" is about Inception.
It wasn't-- or at least I wasn't thinking about it when I reblogged it, I don't know what OP's intent was. Tbh my main beef with the female characters in inception is how hilariously unsubtle their names are.
#it would be nice if there were more of them#like Ariadne has nothing else going on but neither do literally any of them#except Cobb#I feel like I could write an essay on Mal as a metaphor for how male screenwriters write women#but it does kind of work on a watsonian level#I don't really have any inception ships#I mean I'm reading Arthur/eames because I sorted by kudos and the first 11 pages so far have been literally nothing but Arthur/eames#but I think there's a lot of combinations that could be interesting#I stand by Cobb/Saito limbo trauma pals#if there's any f/f where it's Dom who jumped and Mal who recruited Ariadne hmu#tho I also waver on that for Elliot Page gender reasons even though I am not sure that's reasonable or rational#anyhow#inception#I am mostly dabbling
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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i think im going to kill someone if i read 1 more comment thats just like "OF detected, opinion rejected" because what the fuck does that have to do with anything. what happened to letting people do whatever they want w their lives and earn money in any way they can. i think im going to be sick actually. people really be out there saying theyre pro sex-workers until they see like. an actual one in the internet wilderness. i think im gonna actually delete instagram i cant stand it anymore lol
#chess shh#im gonna like. go take a shower and eat something and be productive#and like. maybe put a 20min timer a day for insta just so i check in on my friends there and thats it#scrolling on that app makes me so angry because of those comments. i can stand the bots because whatever#but the moment its about OF i just lose my marbles. what happened to block and move on#what happened to not my circus not my monkeys#what happened to if you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything#idk. yeah. rant over im like. gonna look at birds in the trees that are next to my house and not think about this#also yes ik its my fault for opening and reading comments but like. i do that on tumblr as well cuz i like reading others thoughts#except rn the thoughts others have deeply infuriate me#delete later#probably
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gmmmm btw!
#how r we all......#the vibes r. mmm. ambiguous today. friday which is awesome except ik im doing nothing fun this weekend.#forgor my wallet so i can't get an sd card on my way back. design prof said niceys things about both of my projects ^_^#wore white pants on the most unfortunate possible day which is so irksome. it's nice n sunny out etc.#hfghvhggbhhh. whatever dude i have simply been playing loop hero & reading dunmeshi for the last three hours!! (<- presentation/review day#& im not particularly interested in watching her dissect other people's work all fucking morning & also im all caught up ^_^#txt
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"My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. The consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as Mrs. Brandon’s, was but too natural. She resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. But can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her[...] she should fall?" - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
#jane austen#sense and sensibility#literature#the level of sympathy and compassion and understanding of the human heart#we think of historical eras as either moral and right or depraved always one or the other#and that the morality of the first was upheld by the stern treatment of anyone who acted out#and by extension that depravity is brought on by a lack of rigidity#but the struggles and paradoxes that are part of being human were just as real and just as common and people DID understand them#its only the base and unimaginative who think everyone can be fit into one righteous box if they just try hard enough#never acknowledging times they failed their own standards or maybe without ever having been tested at all#its easy for someone who is happy to judge someone who is unhappy#and we have always known this and it's always been true but we're still dealing with the same unbending personalities who are so loud#just the other day i was in an internet fight where multiple people were claiming that if someone says no to regular sex they are cheating#the possibility that they just have a low sex drive or are going through something was called an exception too rare to matter#the possibility that people are different and not everyone wants the same amount of sex and sex is really very awful when you dont want it#was laughed and sneered at. whats more a partner who accepts their partners sex drive for what it is was called a beta lol#being compassionate and understanding of people you love = beta behavior LOL LOL#this is why we cant have nice things. relationships should be based on support and communication and openness#to the reality that people change sometimes in ways we like and sometimes in ways we dont. nothing is forever.#my two thoughts that entire thread: i hope the men who read this arent intimidated out of standing up for their female partners. and#i hope the women reading this understand you have to believe in yourself despite all of it. despite everything the world throws at you.#of course women can be mean and selfish just as much as men and of course mens needs and feelings matter and so does keeping commitments#but no one has a crystal ball and if you enter a relationship expecting things will always be A Certain Way you're in for a rude awakening#especially if all you do to promote what you want is to badger and pressure and shame your partner for being an imperfect human#tangent but its just these things are so timeless. we should know better now. there's got to be something wrong with us that we don't
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I WANT TO DROP OUT :(
#im just bored. and i feel like my being here is a waste anyway since i barely do the homework except for reading the novels we’re doing in#my modernism class. aside fromt#from that i dont do a whole lot but also like i have nothing better to do. it WOULD be nice to have a degree but like. in fuckijg ENGLISH?#like hi employers i really like to read can i have 401k matching please#idk. at the very least maybe i should take a semester or two off. but also my dear pal from my old school who transferred w me is thinking#the same thing. and i dont want my parents to think im like doing it bc of them#and its a weird mix of like college is hard for a lot of people but we all do it and part of me feels like olivia jade where its like whats#the point of my being her besides saying that im here. you know.#UGH.
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This is probably just me not knowing how to utilise google correctly but WHY is it so hard to find Western novels about gay men that aren't romance novels
#vent post#not actually a vent lmao but thats the tag#like look#what i WANT to read is basically just;#gunsmoke. except the marshal is gay. nothing else is different#the rest of the story is normal#the focus is not the romance#and WHY is this SO HARD to find!!!!#like COME ON#yes this is user error i dont understand how to google things since they changed the algorithm to be all ads and whatever#but trying to add queer or mlm or whatever to the keyword searchs just brings up romance#and i will not object at all to romances that are a part of the plot#i just#i dont want to read straight romance#i would like to read about cowboys and gunmen and whatever Wild West things bc that is why i am here#and itd be nice if the romance was gay instead of het#ugh#anyway im gonna have to bother the librarians next time i go to the library bc if i have to write this myself i am going to#throw my laptop into the pond#if anyone has any queer and/or mlm western novels to rec lmk pls i need to read things or i will perish
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when i think "romantic friendship" i think of all the anime i watched when i was like 13/14 and just realizing i was maybe a lesbian that had all-girl casts and everything was just so extremely gay. pmmm, yuyuyu, school-live!, yuru yuri, etc.
#the yuru yuri theme song still lives rent-free in my head even though i didn't actually make it that far in the show#it was cute but it just wasn't my thing like if you look at everything else on the list it's all super dark#cause that's what i was into at the time and yuru yuri was a fun palette cleanser but it didn't hold my interest for long#i literally remember nothing about it except the uniforms and the theme song at this point#and yuyuyu..... i loved yuyuyu but i can never rewatch it because i'm no longer 14 and can't look past the horrific ableism#like wow looking back that's so fucked up on so many levels. it has so much else going for it but jesus christ#pmmm and school-live! really hold up tho and i'm super glad i read the school-live! manga after rewatch a couple years ago#because wow i REALLY resonate with kurumi's arc and her journey with disability#i can't speak to how well yuki's psychosis is treated but it's nice that she's the main character and her psychosis isn't seen as scary#the bar is really just on the floor huh 😭
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fuck it sometimes you really gotta sit in your room and listen to music that used to make you feel a little happier when you were a bullied ten year old kid in order to pat yourself on the head for how far you’ve come or whatever
#caroline talks#listen to me. listen to me.#i have vivid memories of waiting for the radio to play 'fuckin' perfect' and 'who says' and 'mean' and 'unwritten' OKAY#in the hot summers when i dreaded going back to school because the kids and teachers were mean#in the really late winters when i dreaded going back home because my parents were in a bad mood#not being allowed to use the computer except on friday afternoons from 3-5 pm and saturdays from 8 am-5 pm made me VERY reliant#on like. the radio + also books + my notebooks where i scribbled stories#or listened to music or just read a lot of stories#and sometimes. suddenly u wake up#and you are 23 years old#and you are in professional school + you talk to your classmates + your professors + some attorneys#and sometimes they are nice and sometimes they are mean#and sometimes they're nothing at all! sometimes they're perfectly fine perfectly neutral but you get a weird feeling in your stomach#so you listen to music that made you feel okay as a kid and remember that no one has the right to make you feel inferior or whatever!
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