#anyway im gonna have to bother the librarians next time i go to the library bc if i have to write this myself i am going to

[zeawesomebirdie]

This is probably just me not knowing how to utilise google correctly but WHY is it so hard to find Western novels about gay men that aren't romance novels

[m0onbean]

tutoring & loving

genre: enemies to lovers!AU, tutor!reader, popular boy!eunwoo, high school!AU, JEALOUSYYYYYYYY, flooooooof!!! angst but it’s okay because angst is wonderful, basically most of my favorite AU’s combined in one

warnings: jealous eunwoo and this AU is much more in depth than the others ones

words: 2.8k 

note: this is an old draft that has been sitting in my notes so i thought i would post!! enjoy and I HOPE  EUNWOO IS CASTED FOR TRUE BEAUTY!!!

as one of the top students in class, all of your teachers absolutely ADORE YOU

school is pretty smooth for you: you study well, pass tests, socialize with friends....... except for one little threat that makes your life so much more difficult... 

Cha Eunwoo.

not only is he one of the most popular boys in your grade, but unfortunately he’s also your seat partner for English and he’s the most annoying person you have ever met

you haven’t given him a reason to disrespect you!! ... okay maybe sometimes when you see him and his group of friends being loud in the hallways you shoot an icy glare....... ok and MAYBE you roll your eyes everytime he says smth dumb in the middle of class

but other than that??? completely innocent you are. but this man doesn’t seem to agree, as he seems to have made his life goal to ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. 

foe ex. you would be peacefully paying attention in class when suddenly you feel something kick your foot 

and when you look up, you see eunwoo “paying attention” to the board and feigning innocence

but you immediately know that he’s just trying to aggravate you because when has this man ever actually paid attention in class??

so you go back to listening when you feel ANOTHER kick and you’re like BITCHoh hell no so you kick him back bc we’re not all perfect human beings let’s be honest

and now y’all are kicking each other back and forth, and everyone can hear the desks shuffling underneath them

he also makes snarky marks constantly when you literally just breathed???

like you would sit down at your seat and he’d be like “Congrats, you’ve somehow managed to choose the ugliest outfit in the world to wear today”

and you respond, “It’s about time i have a turn, you’re wearing the ugliest outfit everyday” and then you just glare at each other until the teacher tells you two to snap out of it

on some days eunwoo will just flat out point out one of your flaws like if your hair is messy or if there’s a stain on your shirt

so one day your English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like Oh he’s just gonna offer me extra credit ... but instead of doing that he asks right off the bat, “i have another student that needs tutoring, are you willing to take one more?”

for the past month, you’ve already been tutoring a few students your teacher recommends to you. it’s easy money, especially since you’re saving up for college 

only this time, you can tell he’s desperate because he’s like “Please (y/n) he’s failing in English and misbehaving in class you’re my only hope!!”

and now you’re like Hawld on..... Why Is He Being So Desperate About This.... like you’re cool with tutoring..... what makes this-

the realization strikes across your face. 

who in this school would you would hate teaching??? who is failing in English??? WHO IS THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE. look to: c. e. w.

 “ofdjoaaja i’ll give you gummy bears or something” he pleads. and honestly, if you were not so broke, you would’ve spat on his feet and walked out the door. but you need the cash, and you sure do like gummy bears.......

you gracefully relinquish, and your teacher gives you a proud smile. he then goes on to tell you that his mom requested extra help smh why couldn’t she have just hired a tutor i hate rich people.. anyways so yeah pls Help me

so the next day @ school you approach your seat and you see eunwoo sitting on his desk, talking to his friends until he notices you.. and he’s about to open his mouth to probs criticize your untied shoelaces but you interrupt him and are like:

“eunwoo i’m privately tutoring you starting today. Meet at the library after school.”

and he’s just sitting there, jaw dropping to the floor and you’re like :) He’s finally quiet for once... 

but little did you know that during class he’d be pestering you with complaints like:“why you??? is there anyone else that can do it???” “i don’t need tutoring.. i’m getting consistent D’s... not a singular F and it ain’t much but it’s honest work” 

at a certain point, you get so sick of his complaints and go like “your mom asked for you to be tutored!!! OK i didn’t just ask to tutor you, you dumbfuck.”

and once you mention his mom he just kinda shuts up... and stares at his desk for the rest of the period

ou notice this and recall the teacher telling you that eunwoo’s mom is a tiger mom... you keep this in mind because now you know that making his mom proud might be his motivation

after school, you wait at the library for him inside.. but a couple minutes pass and you’re like ? did he forget ? .  

and eventually an hour passes and you’re like nope he’s definitely ditching

and honestly,,, you feel a little betrayed and a little hurt ... but just when you’re about to leave you see him panting and making his way to your table nd you’re like ???????and eunwoo’s like “im so sorry i forgot...”

and you’re like oh? so you didn’t ditch? 

and he’s like No!! i just ... forgot. 

and you’re like well you little shit don’t forget next time i’ve been sitting here for an hour..but then he reaches something from his pocket and hands it to you and it’s a triangle sushi (it’s super crumbled too...) 

and he’s like “i got this to make it up” and you’re like flustered and just weirdly but pleasantly surprised he feels this bad about almost flaking

but you catch yourself slipping and go back to your annoyed tone: “uh-What the fuck are you on?? I-Wh-I’m not hungry. T-thanks tho.”

the first tutoring session is... awful to say the least. 

he couldn’t pay attention well and continuously complained and even tried to go off topic

like you’d be asking him what foreshadowing meant and then he’d be like “so.. where’s your family from (y/n)?” 33r*#$&(@$

after an hour of no progress you get frustrated and shut the textbook, about to call it a day

but just when you stand up eunwoo grabs your wrist 

and he’s like “where do you think you’re going?” you scoff and reply with “why do you care? it’s not like you want to be tutored right? well i don’t want to tutor anymore”

when you try to budge, you feel his hand still firmly gripping onto your wrist and you’re like “let go of me” until you realize he’s staring at you dead in the eyes

and in a quiet voice he sadly says “please don’t give up on me... i’m trying my best.” 

it looks like he’s about to tear up and that’s when you realize that you need to be patient for him... and need to help him because he’s trying to make his mom proud. 

when you sit down again, he gets a bit startled that you gave in so easily but regardless, a relieved smile spreads across his face. 

instead of going back to teaching, you conclude that you two should “break the ice” first so tutoring wouldn’t be you two just glaring at eachother

“breaking the ice” turns into a two hour conversation about random things or anything that comes into mind. 

eunwoo is really good at conversing and he’s good at filling in the awkward pauses and bringing up new topics!!

next thing you know the librarian is trying to shoo you guys outside since the library already closed fodjsoakal

when you get back home, there’s a stupid smile on your face and you’re like SHIT why am i smiling? why can’t i stop smiling???? get yourself together youRe just helping him you still think he’s annoying!!! ..but he has a breathtaking laugh... NO he’s still that annoying guy i hate

the rest of the tutoring sessions aren’t as bad at you thought.. eunwoo is actually pretty smart he just has the attention span of a toddler honestly.

you could be trying to read him an excerpt from The Great Gatsby and when it’s his turn to read.. it’s absolutely silent and when you look up like ??? 

you see him staring at you and you’re like “eunwoo.. it’s ur turn” and he’d be snapped out of his trance and be like OH! and ask you where you left off

and inside you’d be like.. was he.. staring at me?? (he actually was. you just looked so pretty reading out loud with such emotion)

after a couple of more classes with him, he starts immensely improving in class. he doesn’t really bother you anymore, but he stills throws some playful remarks at times. 

tutoring sessions seem to be effective, and you learn that he actually has a really.. really great personality

one day, you’re approaching your seat in English and are about to roast eunwoo as your daily routine when you almost bump into somebody

but thank god you have great reflexes so you managed to stop yourself... and when you look up you see a handsome face and you’re like. Oh.and he’s like smiling sheepishly and is like “sorry! i’m clumsy hehe” and you’re like Oh.. he’s cute

you smile back and insist it’s fine.. and now you’re both still standing there smiling at eachother because he’s like eye candy

he manages to introduce himself as Moonbin and you’re like I’m (y/n)!! and then his face transforms into recognition and he’s like “oh! you’re eunwoo’s tutor aren’t you?” 

and you’re like “Oh?? yeah how’d you know?”and he’s like “Ah.. i’m good friends with him. i heard your tutoring sessions are really helpful though. you’re super smart”

and on the outside you’re like :3 m-Me????!??! <3

what you actually say: ah, thank you. 

then he’s like “do you mind if you tutor me too?? i’m kind of struggling in English as well” and you’re like “oh sure!” it’s raining money girl

the bell starts ringing and he waves goodbye 

 you go to your seat with a wide smile, and when you sit down, you don’t notice that eunwoo is glaring at you 

so when you look at him with a smile on your face, he gets even more glary. 

you quickly wipe the smile off and are like “oh it’s you.”

but instead of insulting you back he’s like “why were you talking to Moobin?” and youre ???? “why CAN’T i talk to Moonbin? he was asking me to tutor him.”

when he hears that, he clenches his fists under the desk and is like.. “did you accept his offer?”

and you’re confusedly like “yes.. why would i reject him?”

not one to handle complicated feelings well, eunwoo just stands up, his chair loudly screeching against the floor. 

he wants to tell you that he doesn’t want Moonbin to watch you read lines from poetry so dramatically, smile whenever he makes a joke, text him reminders to study before he goes to sleep. 

but when you’re looking at him with such bewilderment in your beautiful eyes, your facial features frozen as you wait for his next move, he feels disgusting for having these feelings towards you. you’d probably be happier with Moonbin, who doesn’t have these nasty problems you’d be burdened with.

but before you can even properly react, he’s leaving the classroom and you look around, grateful that nobody was watching. 

and you don’t know how it happens.. but your feet control themselves and now you’re running after him, not caring about class starting already

and as you’re sprinting, so many scattered thoughts run through your mind. eunwoo.. jealous? does he like you? and even though you thought you were interested in eunwoo... there’s something about eunwoo you can’t let go about.and there’s no way you’re going to lose him.

so when you finally catch up to him you grab him by the arm and turn him around so he’s facing you... you hug him tightly.

and the crawling feeling that’s been stirring in eunwoo’s stomach suddenly dissipates

and bc you know that nothing will be the same after this, why don’t you just end it off strong? so you confess

you quietly tell him that you’re new to this... relationships have always been a new territory for you. liking somebody is new for you. “please don’t run off and let go of me either... i’m trying my best, too”

and he wants to push you off of him, tell you what’s best for you, and go back to being the annoying shit he once was. but your hug feels so nice and.. well.. maybe eunwoo can be selfish once in a while.  

falling in love with eunwoo is a gradual but addictive progress. when people describe falling in love, they would describe it as fireworks... exciting but risky. you would pretty much say the same but.. it’s so much more than just that.

it’s feeling tingly and funny when he randomly holds your hand or shows affection. it’s feeling enormously upset when you’re not around him or when you see him talking to somebody attractive. it’s feeling empty when he cuddles you because you want this to last forever, but you’re scared because you know it won’t.

you tell him this as you two are nestled on his couch, blankets jumbled across and TV playing some cooking show neither of you care about

he laughs and kisses your forehead which makes you feel that stupid tingly feeling again. 

“are you confessing that you’re in love with me (y/n)?” before you can try to smack him, he says “i love you too.”and with that.. you quietly respond “i love you...” 

and it feels so refreshing voicing that out loud.

eunwoo as a boyfriend would be the most blood rushing and adrenaline pumping feeling there is. he’s filled with so much energy that it’s never not fun around him

he would sneak you into carnivals, and take you on the ferris wheel where you two would probably makeout in the passenger car scksksoao

he’d also try to win you prizes at the arcade but.. he’s just so bad at playing it and either A) you end up playing and winning him a prize or B) he bribes the arcade owner to give him the prize

lots of PDA. lotssss of them. 

sitting next to eunwoo in English is a struggle now.. he’s always distracting you from the teacher. 

like you’d be taking notes but then you’d feel his head on your shoulder and now he’s straight up cuddling you in class

eunwoo always encourages you to have more fun 

“you’re always locked up in your room, studying.”

thus, he likes to knock on your door and enter the house with your parents’ delightful approval (because your parents love him. so much.) and go in your room and shower you with kisses while telling you that it’s time to stop studying because you’ve been reading the same chapter over and over again

your texts to each other would be littered with emojis that don’t even relate to the message. like you’d text “i stopped studying. are you proud of me 💃👒🐟🥐”and he’d reply with “of course my sunshine 🍣🎧🔑”

you still tutor him but your tutor sessions are a lot more longer now since they take place at either of your houses instead of the library LMAO. 

+ after tutoring him, you two would just cuddle and raid your fridges

when you meet moonbin again, eunwoo gets a little jealous again since he thinks that moonbin has a chance of snatching you 

but after kissing him and assuring him that you’ll never be “snatched”, he feels so relieved

eunwoo relishes all of the affection you give him. and he always gives you twice as much :’)

one day the same English teacher asks to see you after class and you’re like “is there something you need?”and he’s like “.... ok so tell me how y’all went from kicking eachother to cuddling together in class 🤔🤔”

and you’re like “.. BYE I THINK I HEARD SOMEBODY CALLING ME”

the doors were closed... nobody heard anything... 

when you ask eunwoo why he hated you so much in the beginning, he tells you that he was just jealous of you. jealous of how flawless you did in academics and how you’re such a bright student + your glares were “extremely unnecessary” 

he also tells you that his older brother is already a doctor and has been so successful in everything so his mom always pressures him and compares them

and you’re like weaving your fingers together while telling him “don’t compare yourself. he is him and you are you.” 

and you pause.. and say “and i love you this way. i’m proud of you”

and eunwoo just immediately breaks down right there because nobody ever tells him that.. nobody is ever proud of him

falling in love with one of your enemies was definitely one of the best things that’s ever happened to you :)

[miikrokkosmos]

A Long Work Day: Namjoon x Reader

wc: 1.5 k

genre: fluff, college!joon, librarian!reader

a request from me, to me. just some fun hcs relevant to my life rn.

a/n: hello friends. back on my namjoon bs. (jk I never got off it I was just absent im sorry). anyway this is largely self-indulgent considering I just recently started grad school on top of a new full time job and am lonely and DEAD, but if anyone else out there enjoys this too I would be endlessly happy! feel free to send in requests for any member!

_______________________________________________________________________

·      Working full time was on top of your homework was draining, to say the least

·      Maybe more than ever you were grateful to have Joon in your life for the support and encouragement and much-needed warmth he brought into your life. Especially after long days of working at the big library you were staffed at full of rowdy students that had to be shushed and more than one person who would fight you on overdue book fees and the like

·      Needless to say you spent any downtime at work dreaming about when you’d close for the night and get to go home to your love (ew cheesy but true)

·      Or even better were the rare occasions he’d have time between his own work or class schedule to drop by to surprise you with your favourite warm drink or, just as healing, your favourite warm smile

·      Today was one of those days you were just longing to be home with him the most. But he unfortunately would not be getting home until after you today, as it was his evening class day

·      You were having terrible cramps, it was storming out and you had gotten completely soaked on the way in, leaving you cold all throughout your shift, and to top it all off, your least favourite grouchy male supervisor was leading today

·      To top it all off, you couldn’t stop stressing about how behind you were getting in homework

·      When you had about an hour left to your shift, thinking you weren’t gonna make it, the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen walked into the library, aka the kim namjoon walking in in all of his oversized, cuddly cardigan glory, umbrella in one hand and starbucks in the other

·      “I thought you had class tonight??” you asked, taking your favourite warm drink from his hands with almost tearful gratitude

·      “it got canceled. And I know you weren’t feeling your best even before you started your long shift today, so I figured maybe a little pick-me-up was in order”

·      “are you referring to yourself as the pick-me-up, or the coffee?” you joked, trying to hide the fact you were almost crying at work bc you were so happy to see your boyfriend and the fact that his first instinct when he got some much-deserved free time was to visit you Lwith your favourite coffee Lin a storm halfway through the night L((((

·      those dimples

·      truly something to never, ever get tired of

·      “I’ll let you be the judge of that one, honey”

·      you beamed up at him for maybe a second too long for his heart to handle, causing him to lean down to peck your lips only for your supervisor to loudly clear his throat behind you the second your lips made contact

·      you didn’t bother to look back at your boss, knowing you’d only be met with judging eyes and possibly a lecture you were not emotionally or physically prepared to deal with right now

·      “no PDA at work rule, remember?” you sweetly say to namjoon, hoping he’ll understand you don’t want to get in trouble with your supervisor tonight of all times

·      he innocently smiles back at you, his pupils dilating a little more only as he leans in to your ear to quickly whisper that “we’ll just have to make up for the lost time later” before pulling away again

·      he decided to do his homework at a desk nearby for your last hour. Needless to say you did more “people watching” than anything until your shift was over

·      a little over an hour later and you could swear you’ve never been happier to get home

·      namjoon offers to reheat the leftover fried rice you made the day before while you go get washed up and got your laundry and such ready for your morning shift the next day ://

·      you still have a chill from being wet all day so when you come out in your pajama set, still shivering, joon immediately takes his cardigan off and drapes it over you which you are very very okay with

·      most days, if your schedules lined up to have supper together you’d talk about the events of the day, but sometimes one or both of you was just a little too tired. Or a little too down. To discuss it all. And there was an unspoken agreement between you two to never push the other if they weren’t ready or up to discussing it all

·      that was you today

·      you were both good at just being a presence and silent encouragement to the other when need be

·      that was namjoon for you tonight

·      offering you bites of his food if he noticed you slowing in taking your own bites

·      gently massaging your scalp with his free hand while you ate in comfortable silence together

·      eventually you missed his voice and wanted to hear it even if you didn’t have much to conversationally offer at the moment

·      “it was a long day, joon”

·      his eyes opened slightly more at you with both sympathy and love

·      seeing youre done eating, he moves your chair closer with one hand so he can bring your body into his side and wrap an arm around you, encouraging you to rest your head under his chin. Which you happily oblige

·      “I know, baby.”

·      “I don’t want to use extra energy to go through it all right now. It was just rough. You made it a lot better though.”

·      You could feel him smile at that last part. Oof your heart

·      “and I don’t need you to. I’m sorry it was rough. But that’s okay, you know? There’ll be a lot of better day. And probably a few worse ones. But I’ll be here through them all. And I know you’re more than capable to handle any kind of day thrown at you.”

·      You smush your cheek up against his bicep cradling you, playing with the rings on his fingers. Wow his hands were so much bigger than yours. Something else you never really get tired of thinking about. His big, strong, protective hands. Anyway –

·      “thanks for the coffee, joon”

·      “you don’t need to thank me for –“

·      “and…everything else. Thanks for being the best part of my life.”

·      It was his turn now to lean down over your shoulder and hide his face in the crook of your neck

·      “I’ve got a lot of love to give you, baby girl.”

·      You turned around in his grasp to look him in the eye, straddling him on the uncomfortable dining room chair

·      “I know you do. And I, you, my love.”

·      You leaned up to sweetly and gently kiss his lips, thankfully for much longer than he managed to slip through in the library earlier

·      A minute or so later you patted his cheek

·      “as much as I love spending every minute possible with you, I am crampy and tired and have an opening shift in the morning, unfortunately”

·      he helps you up by holding your waist as he stands

·      “I’ll go get painkillers and a hot water bottle”

·      you edge forward to wrap him in a tight hug, your head on his chest

·      without saying anything you walk off to the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving him to chuckle at you as he finds your hot water bottle, hoping he can blame the redness on his cheeks from the steam of the hot tap water filling the room

·      he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to your cuteness but he’s very very okay with that

·      you climbed into the extra cozy comforter and sheets, willing to stay awake until your joon was able to join you

·      moments later he appeared in the doorway, gently laying the water bottle on your lower abdomen and bringing the covers up to your chin for you

·      after cleaning himself up he effortlessly threw his shirt off and changed into gym shorts before climbing under the covers and cuddling up to your side, careful to not jostle you or the water bottle pressed against you

·      you gently reached over and began stroking the back of his head, leaning down to place a quiet kiss on his forehead

·      “thank you for taking care of me, joon” you squeaked out, barely above a whisper

·      he took your free hand (please don’t ever stop playing with his hair omg) and brought it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss to it

·      “thank you for being the best part of MY life, baby girl. Now get some sleep. I’ll make you coffee in the morning.”

·      You eventually wrapped up in each other in a way that was comfortable enough while keeping the hot water bottle in place and woke up still in each other’s arms, and you were both very, very, very okay with that

[b00bconnoisseur]

Under the cut im just ranting abt my mom so you dont needa read or anything 🤷🏽

I am just so fed up w my mom and am so goddamn close to telling her bitch ass motherfuckin self off for how shit she is to everyone especially my lil sister who takes the absolute most shit from my mom cause shes so far gone wrapped into her mindgames that we can see that she doesnt. We see and know that shes a narcissistic abusive (emotionally, mentally, and even has been physically) gaslighting manipulative homophobic racist and annoying bitch ass motherfucker who calls herself a mother but aint shit. Shes so shitty so thats why she aint got any frens, over half her kids hate her, her husband dont like her, family members dont like her, her DAD dont even want her in his house and only lets us live there because his grandchildren (us) and has said multiple times that if it wasnt for us he wouldnt let her stay w him at all point blank, alotta strangers dont like her, even all the librarians i knew at the library didnt like her and she knows it, she also gets karma n wonders why she gets so much bad luck, etc. She aint got anyone and thats cause shes a cunt. Once we all leave her she'll have no one and will be alone and miserable and i cant wait to hear abt her breaking.

I just so bad want to just yell at her abt how shitty and manipulative and abusive she is and how bad of a mother she is and how i so bad want to leave her, like legit leave to across the country cause i wouldnt live in the same state as hee cause ik how crazy she is and she'd try n find me, and wanna cut her outta my life completely point blank

Like how does she expect me or anyone else to like her when she just uses people and gets mad when ppl dont do what she wants n doesnt get her way, yells n screams her lungs out abt EVERYTHING, etc. She feels so entitled and that shes such a victim at all times that literally when i finally CAME OUT AND ALSO SAID I HAD A GIRLFRIEND she had a full argument with me the next morning and when i was loudly balling my goddamn eyes out IN FRONT OF HER from how mean n shit she was being to me she was like "why are YOU crying?" and played victim and said i was being rude n not considerate of how she would feel abt me telling her i was gay and said she would've just wished i waited another like 6 months till i was 18 to say anything. And she still continues to be homophobic

Anyway not the point but LIKE. Shes so trash n i cant stand her omfg

And she has serious shit wrong w her and bothers everyone w her mental shit. Like its not even "hey can i talk to you about this?" Like she constantly every second of the day talks about herself. She tells every single thought that goes thru her brain at every second ABOUT THE DUMBEST SHIT LIKE "i had a thought about what if i got possessed or you got possessed or i switched bodies with this person in the tv or you or you did or anyone or any" to my SIBLINGS and if they arent listening or dont respond or are like "um" she gets so angry and plays victim. She acts lik a full blown child i cant stress this enough. Shes so annoying and im just. And like she literally annoys everyone and makes everyone uncomfortable and irritated with how much she just keeps talking abt every fucking tiny dumb thought she has and i literally starting crying cause i couldnt take it anymore. Like she was and is heavily affecting my mental health n i told her that and she was just like "um you hurt my feelings, youre so mean" and shes SO MUCH WORSE NOW. I literally cant take it. If she was someone else id block them or cut them out of my life for how toxic and shit she is. Theres a difference between talking abt your mental shit and then forcing everything youre feeling onto everyone and getting mad when theyre tired of hearing it. Like i definitely have mental issues of my own but i dont go to my gf or frens every second and tell all my shit cause who tf does that and also theyre gonna be annoyed to hell w me and be like "bitch please stop we're tired"

Anyway i hate my mom

[bbhyuckie]

jaehyun x reader

librarian! au

genre: fluff

words: 1.7k

warnings: realistic portrayals of college life lol

ive said before that im being self indulgent with posts

but this is really it

im really out here writing this

lets get into this mess

so youre studying right

and you yourself do not have a laptop of your own

bc welcome to being a broke college kid im calling myself out

so you decide that youre gonna go to the library on campus bc sis,, cash in on the tuition money ok

so you go and youre like wow hahahaha i dont have a library card better sign up for one

so you go to the desk and theres no one there

just your luck really

you decide to wander around a little to see if theres anyone who can help you

and low and behold you stumble across someone

this young man knelt down by a shelf with a book rack next to him just humming softly and organizing books

and you catch his attention by clearing your throat slightly

he looks up and his eyes are big over the rims of his wire framed glasses that are clinging to the tip of his round button nose

and his hair is a little mussed from being bent down

but holy hell

youve read enough novels to know that this must be exactly what the characters are talking about when they say things like ‘love at first sight’

“sorry” he says as he standcs and brushes himself off “can i help you with anything?”

starstruck really

you manage to stutter out something about needing to register for a library card and he smiles so kindly it makes u want to melt

“sure!’ he says, motioning for you to follow him back up to the desk

is this what a trance feels like???

he asks you a few basic questions, like your name, your age, and what building your dorm is in so he can put it all on your new nifty library card

and then he turns around this lil webcam on top of his computer and asks you to stand in front of it and smile

and you do, awkwardly

and as hes looking down at the computer counting “3, 2, 1” he has this smile on his face like hes trying to hide it

and if that didnt make ur heart jump you dont know what ever would holy

so he prints off your card as youre still trying to recover from being in the presence of an angel

and he hands it to you and smiles

“library hours are 8 am to 12 am every day, but on the weekends i’m the one that closes. which means if you ever need some extra time to finish that essay you pushed off,,, i wont tell anyone”

aND HE W I NK S

and not lot a hot wink

but a cute?? wink??? if thats possible

like you have a secret with him now and its safe

you wonder absently as you stare down at the black and white picture of yourself on the back of your new card if he tells everyone about him closing on the weekends

and if he doesnt does that make you special???/

you smile and thank him again, maybe a little more confidently than before and head for the door

you realise as youre halfway out that you came here to study on the computers but you really need some time to sit down and process the fact that you just say an actual angel

you can do your math homework on your phone for one more night if it means you can turn down your body heat from screaming blushing mess to slightly embarrassed rosy cheeks

the next time you get a chance to run by the library on campus, it just so happens to be sunday

you catch yourself wondering if dream boy meant friday and saturday or saturday and sunday when he said weekends

thats not important right now

what is important is that you have actual business to do in the library today

and that business is to pick up hamlet for your english class

you check in and someone else is at the front desk

you try not to let yourself feel disappointed

i mean you met him once for christs sake

the guy at the front is equally as attractive as dream boy from the previous week, but a little more relaxed to talk to since he isnt giving you any flirty subtones

the kid is all business really

he tells you that his name is doyoung if you need anything else

you ask how he got the job there, out of curiousity

because really, both of the librarians youve encountered seem pretty young for the standard librarian stereotype

doyoung explains that its a work-study job, so nearly all the people that work there are students at the university and work in between classes or on their off days to make some extra cash or pay off some tuition

and you can get behind that!!

so doyoung is cool and you decide you can go to him to ask questions instead

because while dream boy is a dream boy with pretty cheekbones and nice lips and a smooth voice and a good sense of style and a great height without insoles and looks great with glasses and has the most captivating eyes

hes a lil distracting lol

anyway you find yourself in the shakespearean section

and you grab a hamlet off the shelf and head back up to the front to have doyoung check the book out to you

and as hes handing you the book back you get a classroom notification saying that, despite common belief, the book rental wasnt due by tomorrow, but the whole book reading is due by tomorrow

you wonder how the fuck professors get away with shit like this and then you remember that you didnt bother to read the syllabus so you cant really get too mad at anyone but yourself

so you find a table that looks like it has the comfiest chairs and cozy up for a long evening of reading and annotating

(depending on who you are you either love or hate hamlet, either way it is exhausting to annotate anything from that man so bear with me ok)

five hours later and ⅔ of the annotations later it is 11:56pm

and you havent noticed

you hadnt noticed much of anything happening in the real world after you popped in a headphone and started reading about guards seeing a ghost

that is until someone plops down in the seat in front of you and asks

“so what are you studying”

and you look up, a little delayed because youre finishing a notation

only to find that its dream boy

and your brain blanks for a sec bc wow every time you see him its kinda like?? ouch???? my heart bro

so you just kind of shake your head and mutter some “im not really sure anymore”

and theres some truth to that!! first there were ghosts and now theres dead girlfriends dads and dead girlfriends and talking about a skull in a graveyard

that play is really a wild ride brother

and dream boy sits there and laughs, wholesomely

you could die happy

“yeah i get that” he says, rubbing the back of his neck

theres a pause that carries on a bit too long

“wanna hear a dumb joke?” he asks suddenly

you smile then, partially out of exhaustion and partially because wow?? cutie

“sure” you say

“okay. what do you call a nervous javelin thrower?”

you pause for a sec bc wtf

“dunno. what do you call them?”

he flashes this cute fucking grin that you know is supposed to be slick but just comes off as wholesome and says

“shakespeare”

and you shouldve seen that coming wow

and its so dumb that you actually??? giggle????? and that turns into a laugh??

youre probably just exhausted from annotations but maybe that was actually funny

and his smile softens like hes made progress on something

“y/n, right? i dont think i ever actually introduced myself. i’m jaehyun”

he smiles and reaches across the tabe and you take his hand

its warm and strong and you try not to think about it too hard

“well, y/n, library loses here in another two minutes or so.”

he sees the look on your face fall

“but never fear!” he leans forward and lowers his voice

you hold your breath

“i told ya you could stay, didnt i?”

his smile is closed lipped and cute and genuine

before you can say anything hes up and ushering the last few people out of the library, telling them good night and good luck with their classes tomorrow

youre kind of caught in a brain dead daze after finally being pulled from your studying to watching this cute librarian named jaehyun bustle around and lock doors and turn off lights

and when he finally gets back to you he clicks on the lamp on the table youre working at and sets a cup of coffee in front of you

he mustve made it as you were falling asleep with your eyes open

you thank him copiously before asking

“i thought you let everyone stay after hours when you closed”

he looks up over the rim of his mug with a surprised look in his eyes

he shakes his head as swallows the clearly too hot coffee

“not at all. most of the time i kick them out and study by myself.”

he blushes like its a confession and it makes you feel,,,, something

but you dont want to press

so you just reach out and offer your other headphone to him because if you dont know what to say then you can both enjoy some good study music

so he pulls out his homework for the night and the two of you sit there and study

you sip off your coffee occasionally and both of you nod your heads to the music playing in your ears

he hums along to the ones he knows and a thought skips across your mind

you could get used to this

(theres a 100000% chance there will be a part two to this)

[shitihaveheardatwork]

new gig

howdy tumblerinos!

boy i sure went quiet for a few months there. the long and short of it is I got a new NEW library job with better hours. but better hours means... less life hours. so I haven't indulged myself in winghing on the internet about my job.

good news though! my boss is still a weirdo and there's no shortage of things to say about him!

in fact, the circumstances of my week are what inspired me to come crawling back like not-quite-dead roadkill to my angry little blog! so let's get into it

my boss the director (we'll call him Ronan) is a bit of a moody fussy guy. he micromanages, he takes things personally, and seems to fixate on minor things that don't really matter. I'd been warned about his attitude by all of my co-workers, but I didn't actually have to deal with it first-hand for about three months.

in addition to Ronan (who, for context, has his office right by the circulation desk: ie right behind me), there is also Luigi, my work husband. we hit it off almost immediately. we discuss movies and leftist politics all day. love Luigi. we do a reasonable amount of what could be called goofing off, but not to the detriment of our work. goofin is for when there's no work left. you get it, I'm sure it's the same at your workplace.

Luigi and I discovered that we could chat over gmail's IM function, and were discussing Luigi's applications to other jobs. He wants a different job, because even though he's worked steadily at the library for a decade, he wants to get away desperately (as does everyone here) from Ronan. Naturally, this is a good conversation to have digitally and not out loud, in front of Ronan's office.

but then Ronan walks by, and sees the chat window blinking over my shoulder. my new-hire honeymoon period with him is over, and he is officially in full tizzy mode. "You're at work!" he declares, before storming off to his office.

As he does whenever something upsets him, we can hear him hammering out a magnum opus of pissbaby nonsense into his computer. A minute later Luigi and I both have an email from him (cced to the trustees, no less) about how our behavior is unacceptable and that if it continues, we'll be reported to HR. Ronan then speaks with one of the trustees on the phone, expressing his concern that Luigi is having a "bad influence" on me. Like we're on a fucking playdate and not in a work space, working. We can't confirm but we're pretty sure the trustee he was speaking with told him to calm his tits, because we didn't hear about it again and he gave us the silent treatment the rest of the day.

BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL!

I have wednesday, the following day, off. fine by me. I was getting a tummyache just thinking about going back to work. I spend my wednesday doing some spring cleaning (fall cleaning), but around lunch I check my email to discover a fascinating message, which I'll just quote from here.

"Any in person questions, other than basic directional inquiries and Circulation related questions including topics such as: readers advisory, electronic resources, local history, genealogy, specific reference questions need to be referred to a senior staff member. Priority would be to myself.

This is not optional.

The same applies to telephone inquiries if at all possible."

Wow, I say to myself, that's wild. What's up with that?

Naturally, I shoot Luigi an email requesting an explanation. Apparently, in front of god and everybody, Ronan got all hot and bothered by a patron asking where the non-fiction is. The scene plays out as follows.

A patron comes in, asking to be directed to the non-fiction section. Luigi, being a librarian with a decade of experience in this library, knows the answer and gives it: "downstairs, on the left-hand side."

"Thanks," says the patron. They leave the desk area to go to the non-fiction area. But then, Ronan strikes! He comes out of his office on a tear.

"Hold on! It's not just "on the left-hand side"" he corrects. He then proceeds to handhold the patron to the basement and select a book for them. To be clear, they were here for browsing and not an explicit title.

This is already weird and stupid, but then it also results in the office-wide email copied above.

On thursday when I came in, many other employees also noted to me that I explicitly wasn't mentioned in the email, even though I'm the only other person in the building (besides the children's librarian) with an MLS, and therefore qualified to tell people that non-fiction is in the basement on the left-hand side. I hadn't perceived the slight in my original reading, but people who've worked with Ronan longer suggest that it's probably deliberate.

That said I'm not going anywhere. My boss may be a pathetic control freak, but he also has no sense of drive or follow-through, and has managed to foster a culture that's almost openly insubordinate to him. Beyond the adrenaline surge that results from being yelled at by an older man, I'm not scared of him. His moody outbursts seem to be the result, or at least a symptom of, an administrative and authoritative impotence. He only has the power I give him.

Also the town is putting a reference position together with the same hours but like... twice my current pay. So, fuck him, I'm hanging on for that if nothing else.

Anyway, Monday should be fun. That's the next day Luigi and Ronan will be in the building at the same time. Luigi also might have reply-alled that email and said that if Ronan enforced his dumbass reference policy, Luigi was gonna file a complaint. In the break room this morning they were joking that they didn't know whether to hire a referee or call the cops for the fight.