#nothing deep here
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I'm kind of an hypocrite in the sense that I don't really enjoy the 'pup' or 'cub' nicknames for twilight and wild, and yet I throw the 'guppy' nickname at wind constantly lmao
#miry's yapping#the reason why i don't like them is completely personal preference btw lol#nothing deep here#i do like guppy but only because it's funny and wind hates it
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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How it feels to not like timebomb after s2
#I'M NOT A HATER I SWEAR I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE IT ON PAPER#i do however think that it came literally out of nowhere and was hella rushed and kinda ridiculous#like. if the argument is that original ekko fell in love with jinx it doesn't make sense because they were enemies for most of their lives#if the argument is that current ekko fell in love with au powder and now projects these feelings on jinx it's kinda uh. messed up#because she's a whole different person. entirely. it doesn't matter if both these version started out as a 9-year old powder. they had#extremely different lives and experiences and thinking that “there's still this kind of powder in jinx deep down” is straight-up awful#OR even if he didn't project his feelings for powder on jinx why would he love her in the current universe? last time they met she blew them#up and now she wants to commit suicide. there's literally no reason for him to have any kind of feelings except the slight friendly#affection that's left from all those years ago. and yet the show and most importantly the fandom treats them like a couple??? i don't get it#also it's kinda insane that s2 turned jinx and ekko into flat shipping material#again. obviously i have nothing against the shippers and do not condemn it in any way. i'm just expressing my thoughts on the matter#also what pisses me off the most. is how in ep9 jinx in fully painted with ekko's symbols here and there. has the bandage (?) on her chest#like vi. has a hood that looks like a drawing that isha made. and yet there's no fishbones or any reference to silco at all#i mean. i get it s2 hates him but i can't help it#they gave her all these relationships and pretended that they're significant to her and yet they didn't have any proper development#to really earn it#arcane critical#arcane season 2#anti timebomb#jinx arcane#ekko arcane
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its really interesting to me how kaidou says he feels like saiki is protecting/looking out for all of them somehow. like do they all have some kind of innate sense that the Weird Things happening around them are saikis doing? or do you think saiki gives off a strong "if anything happens to my friends im going to become the joker" vibe that he doesnt even notice
#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo no psi nan#saiki k#saiki kusou#hes so expressive sometimes i wouldnt doubt the latter#i can imagine him scaring would-be-bullies away from kaidou with a particularly menacing glare without even really registering it#or like. changing the topic away from teruhashis brother whenever he comes up and teruhashi is around#because he knows it makes her uncomfortable#but he justifies it to himself that its just because he personally doesnt like makoto#it has nothing to do with teruhashis feelings. Obviously#his friends notice hes constantly looking out for them but hes so deep in denial he cant see it himself#anyway i got off track here. ramble over
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An IRL friend of mine recently suggested I cut back on posting content because "maybe a dozen or two dozen people" like my posts and they weren't sure why I bothered when there was no money or engagement in it.
I definitely felt a bit like that a few years back, particularly when I'd see people repost my scans on other platforms and get tens of thousands of likes. If I'd shifted platforms and focused on engagement that could well have been me.
However, that's not really what I've ever been about. I share what I share because I like it and want other people who like these works to enjoy what I have in my collection too (or to discover new works they might not have encountered). Nobody has to engage with what I post though, I could get 0 likes/reblogs and I'd still keep plugging away because ultimately this is just a hobby and I'm just a fan.
I don't want to harp on with the cheesy "you should do things for yourself first and foremost" with hobbies, but at the end of the day my affection for certain series and artists won't evaporate just because my posts about them aren't popular on Tumblr.
I've been here for 14 years and have only just hit 10,000 followers. I'm not an important internet person by any stretch of the imagination and I think that's OK. If I'd been angling for something beyond simply being a fan of certain things, I can see how this might be considered failure. For me (personally) though, I don't feel like my hobby needs to have any form of hustle attached to it. This is what I do to express my affection for things.
Not everyone will feel the same way as I do about sharing content online and that's fine, we're all individuals and we engage with things differently. I just wanted to express this while the thoughts were still fresh in my mind.
Enjoy your hobbies in the ways that work for you. You'll find people who appreciate your contributions (big or small) wherever you go online and if you move onto different fandoms or hobbies, you'll find new folks who like what you do there too. Just don't feel locked into numbers as the ultimate way of judging your own love for media.
#personal#ramblings#nothing deep here just rabbiting on#i'm still on a lot of medication so err please forgive any mess ups#i just wanted to get this out there before i forgot my train of thought#to be clear the above is not about shading people who post on other sites or who choose to ask for donations or monetise what they share#(we're different people doing different things)#and it is similarly unrelated to original or transformative work that lends itself to monetisation like art/video reviews/podcasts/etc.#this is very much just about my personal situation and how i approach it rather than broadly speaking in place of others#anime collecting#archiving and media preservation
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There's already Fantasy Russia doomposting, let's have Fantasy Russia wishes too!
We have Balkan and Greek references in the game, so no need to restrict yourself to Russian Empire. Go ham. I'll start.
Name change. Please. It's so cringe currently.
A world quest chain based on Bazhov's tales (miners' folklore mixed with Ural and Slavic fae stories). Non-negotiable.
Trains and trams. Do I even need to say it?
TRDLO. Look at it. Look at it. We can have Western Slavs too and if there's no trdlo I'll riot:
(for the US people reading this: it's a sweet pastry cooked on metal rods over coals, popular street food in Prague, although it was originality Hungarian. eating it on a cold day is an Experience)
Frozen lake sounds, they sound a bit like whalesong.
Sami people. Finnish references in general.
Childe's family's side of his story.
A tired playwright bullied by censors.
Sirin and Alkonost birds! Half-birds half-humans who could put you to sleep or kill you with a song.
A black cat called Behemoth. iykyk.
Pulcinella as an Alexander II reference ("ruling Snezhnaya is not hard but it's pointless").
A giant bridge over a harbour.
Greenhouses. Just giant greenhouses.
Some steppes. A girl can hope.
Bog.
A springtime area near the sea with rhododendrons in bloom.
Space program. If Natlan can be modern then Snezhnaya can have space program. We are going to the moon to poke at a dead goddess (now where have I seen that... hm).
Cyberpunk and medical horror.
Pantalone's Ayn Rand era.
Atonal music.
Linguists.
An ice skating mechanic.
I'm assuming that Soviet adaptation of The Snow Queen (one of the things that inspired Miyazaki to draw) is a given, so here's an obligatory mention.
And, the last but not the least, 6 nations coalition army entering Snezhnaya for humanitarian help after the country falls apart on its own.
Hoyo, please. Allow us to have nice things at least sometimes.
#there's also a bunch of 20th century literature that only russians would recognise#it will do nothing for the foreigners so I didn't add it to the post#I'm low-key hoping to see some passing mentions in world quests#hoyo sometimes do dig that deep#genshin#fatui#snezhnaya#ew#the name is still cringe#I hate it here#can I tag it with childe?#it's his homeland after all#childe
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I hear your “I’m so excited for tlovm season 2! It’s going to be so fun!” and I raise you “The central theme of this season is bone-deep crushing guilt and grief”
#to be clear this is NOT at all a complaint#im so ready for the emotional damage that's going to ensue aaaAAA#how will they adapt certain moments that completely altered my brian chemistry? will they make me cry just like they did in the campaign?#who fucking knows!! we’re living la vida loca in a world where nothing bad ever happens before season 2 drops#but i watched the cast interviews and everyone is like ‘haha yeah my character’s main conflict is the bone deep guilt they grapple with!’#and i’m just sitting here like 👁️👄👁️#for a moment i gaslit myself into thinking this season was just percahlia and grog and craven edge sitcom and zahra and kash smh#critical role#tlovm#the legend of vox machina#tlovm season 2#tlovm s2#lovm#legend of vox machina#vox machina#andis thought geyser
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Heartbreaking: “problematic” danmei everyone told you to avoid is actually pretty decent and has mildly interesting things to say about poverty and class
#nothing here is groundbreaking or even particularly deep but I do love seeing politics in my silly little gay books#idk. I genuinely think injecting your stories with politics makes them better#even if it’s relatively surface-level stuff like ‘poverty is violence’ it still hits different than#fiction that goes out of its way to try to be ‘apolitical’#(it never actually is apolitical. it just exposes what the author considers to be ‘too controversial’ for general audiences)#erha#2ha#the husky and his white cat shizun#anyway erha hasn’t been anywhere near as traumatizing as people on tumblr make it out to be#like it’s not light reading and you should probably read the trigger tags before diving in#but it’s also not The Most Evil and Problematic Book ever y’know?#cleaning out my drafts#I’m trying to kill cringe and fandom purity culture on this blog so I’m trying to be brave and talk about more controversial things#this has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time
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the worst part of long term depression is how fucking boring it is. like im on my knees begging my asshole brain to just let me be interested in something, anything, i don’t care what it is i just can’t take another day where the time crawls by excruciatingly slowly and i still have to do it all again tomorrow.
#ok to rb#got passed over for a job i was rly feeling hopeful about this week#now my roommate isn’t here and i have literally nothing to do today#and no money. money would make things slightly easier bc then at least I could go do something#like damn i actually would be interested in going to the aquarium but it’s $60#el problema es el capitalismo#el problema is also the deep rooted trauma but. that honestly feels harder to fix atp than the capitalism part#tbh i just need to get obsessed with something#but you can’t force that#and the last time it happened was 18 months ago. so.#op
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theres people who only have one ship and people who don't have any ships and multishippers well im inventing a new kind of shipper and it's "all of these people are gay and a little in love with each other but the romance is up to interpretation"
#i have a killer headache rn so nothing I'm sayung makes any sense#anyways. I love to write characters all being a little gay and flirty and in love with each other#are you really friends if u aren't a little in love with em#this is about the gaang and also about the hexsquad#anyways romance is CRINGEEE#be in a weirdly codependent platonic relationship where we're incredibly devoted to each other to a probably unhealthy degree instead#allos will never understand 😔😔😔#you kids with your 'kissing' and your 'sex'#no one wants to get married for tax benefits and also because you're a little in love with your best friend anymore!#there's a complaint somwherre in here about people reducing deep platonic bonds to just romance because Just a friend wouldn't do that#but im tired and also not feeling bitter#anyways im trying to write fic again. but for some reason I can only write while I'm at work so ????#i have it all plotted. it just doesn't wanna write#lilac post
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Rambling about Floyra again because they genuinely make me ill
Kyra and Floyd’s relationship is honestly hard to describe. Not in the way that its confusing, but its so much deeper and complex than anything i write can convey ??
They’re both people who have never had the privledge of being able of being vulnerable, let alone infront others
They’re both people who have never been truly understood. Floyd being watered down to nothing but his mood swings, and Kyra her impulsiveness.
They’ve both never let many people get too close to them. People know them but they never understand.
They are the first and only people to ever and try to understand eachother. And they do, more than anyone else. If no one else can, who better than them? They understand eachother in a way much deeper than most realize.
Floyd never needed anyone. Kyra never needed anyone. Atleast not until they met eachother. Then, they realized just how much they needed the other. And they finally understood what it meant to love one person so much it hurt.
Kyra has mood swings, just as bad as Floyd. Its just shes grown to be able to hide it, but she has to fight back the urges to just get up and walk away from it all, the urges to get violent. Being a princess has trained her to always be “presentable”.
But then she meets Floyd, whos so unapologetically himself. And he shows all of the traits she has surpressed in herself for the longest time. And he does it without a care in the world.
And it makes her realize, its not a bad thing. Having emotions she cannot control does not make her a bad person.
While Kyra is still very emotionally constipated and struggles to understand her own emotions, somehow knowing Floyd helps her know herself, too.
And, Floyd makes her feel human.
Floyd has always been seen as some sort of “wild child”. Someone to be avoided. Labeled as uncontrollable and unpredictable, treated as something to fear.
But when he meets Kyra, hes treated gently for what feels like the first time. She treats him delicately, almost like glass. She calls him pretty, and looks at him with no fear, but with pure adoration. Genuine love. And he cant help but melt from it. She looked past the person many painted him as. And saw something beautiful.
For once he isnt being treated for some kind of unpredictable beast. And for once, Kyra isn’t being treated like someone who needs to be perfect all of the time.
Two people who have never been vulnerable, find themselves being fully vulnerable to eachother. Their flaws and ugly parts all bare and on display for the other to see. So clearly exposed, for the very first time.
And yet, even after all of the flaws and imperfections, they still love eachother so purely and so genuinely. Even without having to hide their issues or hold themselves back— they could be themselves, together. Unapologetically together. They looked past the surface, past all of the grime and cracks and found something beautiful only they could truly understand.
The purest form of love, and it cannot be described as only love.
They are not just lovers, but something much deeper and much more worse. They are something that can only be described as even more than platonic or romantic. Soulmates, twin flames, eachother’s other half— whatever you want to call them. They are everything and more, somehow and in some way.
They are complex, and their bond runs deeper than any bond theyve ever had before. Not many realize it, but they dont need anyone else to realize it. They know eachother and they understand eachother and thats all they need.
At the end of the day when theyre overwhelmed and tired, they know they can find home and comfort in eachother. In eachother, they found a new freedom to be vulnerable. Within eachother they found peace. A bestfriend, a lover, a favorite person, partners in crime and in life, and something even more.
Their love was slow, patient. It developed over time and only grew deeper. A sudden realization of the obvious truth. They realized, that they’ve already given their hearts to eachother. Kyra was already his, and Floyd was already hers long before they even knew it.
To be so in love that it was so natural, basically second nature to simply just give yourself away to the other. It was ridiculous but it was their truth. Before they knew it they became irreplacable parts of their lives.
“Til’ death do we part” is a lie. Because they’ll find eachother even after that. In every universe, in every world. One way or another. They were already worlds apart, seperated from eachother in this reality; and yet still they managed to find eachother even so.
Their love is pure, unapologetic. Raging, uncontainable and raw. It shines brightly, burns bigger than any fire. It is so deeply instilled in their very beings that it was hard to believe one could love another so much. They never even thought they were capable of such a thing.
But then again, they always did have a way to bring out every part of eachother, sides of themselves they never even realized they had.
I could ramble about them even more but i’ll stop myself for now … HEHEHE
Theres something about someone who’s watered down to something unpredictable and wild, seen as an uncontrollable whirlwind of emotions that is incapable or caring for anyone but themself— melt in gentle hands. Someone who is seen as “scary” go soft and letting themselves be vulnerable in someone else’s arms … its my favorite trope and u can NEVERR tear it away from me 🔥🔥
(When I said “flings” i meant when people for some reason make him some sort of flirty play boy ?? I am not kidding the amount of things ive seen of that 😭)
A special thank you to @screamintoad for letting me yap about them 🫶🫶 ily man HEHEHE 💗
#🎀🦈! floyra#🎀! yap#‘casual relationship’? not in my dictionary#its either gutwrenching lifechanging deep complex romances or NOTHING.#NO ROOM FOR CASUALTY HERE. LET ME BE DELUSIONAL.#they make me VIOLENTLY ILLL LOOORRDDD#why do i do this to myself *continues to think about them more*#genuinely the happiest and healthiest relationship ever im afraid#twst#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst wonderland#disney twst#yuusona#oc x canon
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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One thing I keep thinking about is how the pm's front company is literally called “Mori Corporation”. Like yeah sure, let's put the actual name of our evil boss, most likely the most wanted person in the entire Yokohama, as the title of our not-shady-at-all perfectly-subtle black-themed industry. What could ever go wrong
#The real thing is that like.#The government already KNOWS who the mafia boss is but would rather compromise with him than arrest him...#Deep sigh#ōgai mori#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#q.#07/01/23#I know I'm the only one who's annoyed by this kind of details but the way the pm has nothing to do-#with an actual mafia organization drives me INSANE.#One of my earliest posts over here was about how it doesn't make any sense to believe pm operatives do reports-#because that's not how mafia organizations work.#And I KNOW I'm the only one bothered by this. But also this is what you get when you come from a city-#with one of the most deeply rooted mafia presence in the most mafia ridden country in the world (sigh).#And you know more mafia related annedocts than what you can legally talk about
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Yin and War will do anything for their fans but can they break with BL traditions and give me Jack genuinely having to go after Joke because both of their traumas matter and they both need to put work into this relationship to make it work and to put them on equal footing in this love story rather than it being about Joke always having to apologize for his choices?
#no tags here#negative#deep fear for me y'all#i am so scared that Joke is going to have to keep chasing Jack forever#and that we will never see Jack have to put in emotional labor for the relationship#because the show's focus on class commentary means that Joke's trauma gets constantly downplayed instead of respected#and i fully expect it will happen again#that jack will be hurt and it will all be joke's fault and joke will get no care from him#maybe care from the other friends#but nothing from jack#and jack will go cry alone and then joke will have to get back to him#instead of jack having to make sure joke came back#and i just....#i am so scared#especially after the school scene#where it was so funny that joke couldn't do math and froze and tried to play it lightly but he was SO scared#but the show didn't give his pain any weight
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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