#note donnie is standing on a box here

[justmaghookit]

do you think Raphael would be embarrassed about showing you his ascended form because he puts such effort into how he presents himself to you and others, do you think it would throw him off if you said you wanted to ride him harder than a Narzugon riding their Nightmare into the blood war?

Donnie thinks so

[dandylovesturtles]

It's time! For Room Fic Part 4 Part B! Of how many parts? IDK ANYMORE

This is the longest part of the fic yet, and it's also the most... talky. But I felt like this was a part of the recovery everyone wanted to see so I thiiiink it's fine.

Content warnings: vomiting, HEAVY discussion of eating issues (including calorie counting, done purely as a recovery mechanism in this fic but still worth noting), mentions of the non-consensual voyeurism that happened in the first part, and as always, anxiety and aftermath of torture

If you're lost, start here!

I'm soooo tired I only proofread like half of this. it'll go through full editing when it goes on AO3

-----

Leo crashes into his room and grabs anything within arm’s reach to pull over himself. The blanket from his bed. A cardboard box, contents dumped on the floor. His skateboard, a beach towel, a plank of wood used to prop up action figures.

He cowers into his claustrophobic, makeshift nest, clutching his ill gotten gains to his chest. He doesn’t know why he bothered, because there’s nowhere to hide in here, and then they’ll…

They’ll do what? It’s his family. And if they’re upset with him for stealing the chips, well, he deserves that. Who is he to take food, when they’re running low already?

That’s what he expected, actually, when the lights flipped on and Raph was standing there. To get yelled at, chewed out, dressed down - the way he’d been waiting for Raph to do this whole time. Why can’t he just do as he’s told? Why does he always make the wrong decisions?

But Raph hadn’t yelled. He ran off. And now Leo doesn’t know what to expect at all.

He assumes Raph went to get their dad, or even Draxum. He waits in his hiding spot, heart pounding in his ears, and listens for the call of his full name, the surefire indicator that he’s in Big Time Trouble. He stole food, food he isn’t even allowed to eat, and when they’re running low, too. He doesn’t know what the punishment is going to be, and the fear of not knowing pulls him deeper into his nest.

He wants to know. He dreads finding out.

Time passes. He has no idea how much. There’s no clocks in here (there hadn’t been any clocks in there), and his phone is on the nightstand, hooked to its charger. To get it he would have to leave his hiding place. And he’s scared.

So he waits and waits and waits. Until his limbs grow uncomfortable and cramped, until no amount of shifting dulls the pain. His heart is still rabbit quick in his chest. (He may be a turtle but call him the hare-)

No one comes for him.

Finally, finally, when his body physically can’t take this position anymore, he scoots out of his hiding spot and gets to his feet, bag of chips clutched in his fingers. He walks to the curtain over his doorway - though “walks” is really overselling it, with the way he pauses for hours between every step.

When he makes it to the doorway, he peeks out.

The lair is quiet. Everything is dark. No one is stirring.

He makes his way back to his bed, and looks at the bag in his hands. He feels so anxious that he’s nauseous. And he can’t eat if he’s nauseous or he’ll lose his dinner.

So he can’t even eat the damn things. The irony would be funny if he could laugh.

He kneels down and fishes around under his bed for a box he knows is there. It’s full of little toys and trinkets from childhood - things he saved from the old lair that he couldn’t bear to throw away, but is too embarrassed to be seen with.

He dumps the contents of the box into the bigger one he hid under earlier. This is more important.

Then he hides the chips inside and scoots the box under the bed.

He climbs back onto his mattress, cringing when the bed springs creak. His blanket is still on the floor, but he doesn’t want to get up and risk making more noise.

So he curls up on his mattress and stares at the wall and tries futilely to sleep.

Donnie’s brand new curtains don’t even help. Maybe that’s part of his punishment.

-----

Somehow, he manages to make it to breakfast. He doesn’t remember who poked their head in to tell him it was ready, or how he picked himself up and walked to the kitchen. He just ends up there.

Mikey greets him with a sunny grin and the announcement that he gets oatmeal today, along with his scrambled eggs. There’s even some banana on top of the oats. He should be excited for the variety, but he feels numb. Still, he smiles as he’s expected to and thanks Mikey and hopes it passes scrutiny.

Draxum comes in, and then his dad. He stiffens up for both, muscles tense while he waits for the yelling to start. But no one starts yelling. Draxum sits and eats and Leo hears him give a reminder to take vitamins. Splinter reads out the shopping list, and everyone scrambles to add last minute items. 

Normally, this is where Leo would be chiming in with all the snacks and junk food he wants, but he knows if he says anything he’ll be turned down, so he doesn’t. He can feel the weirdness of it, but he doesn’t take his eyes off his food to see anyone’s appraisal.

Donnie’s last in; he drinks his coffee fast and tries his luck with adding uranium to the list. He grabs a granola bar instead of eating what the rest of them are having, then tells Mikey to meet him at the entrance in five minutes and leaves. Mikey piles the dishes in the sink, then rounds the table to give everyone a hug goodbye, Draxum included.

Leo smiles when Mikey gets to him. Says, “Have a good day, Mikester.” Swallows down the impulse to grab on and beg him to stay.

He finishes breakfast, then goes to the TV room and settles into the recliner. Raph comes by and pats his shoulder and tells him to call if he needs anything. Splinter hops up and pats his head before following Raph away.

He’s alone now. Alone, with Draxum, who’s currently in the kitchen doing who knows what.

(Leo doesn’t like leaving him alone in there. All their food is in there.)

(Well, not all of it. Leo’s made sure of that.)

He lays in the chair and pretends to be asleep. And he listens. 

To be sure that his brothers and dad are really gone, and aren’t coming back for a forgotten wallet or phone.

Until Draxum leaves the kitchen and moves for the train car he’s taken over as his own.

Until he’s sure no one is watching him.

Then he gets up. He goes to his room. He’s not sure why he feels like he’s sneaking, when he’s obviously allowed to be there.

He makes sure all his windows are covered, curtains or otherwise. Makes sure the curtain over his door is stretched as far as it will go.

Then, as silently as possible, he reaches under his bed and pulls out the box. Opens it to reveal his stolen goods.

He unrolls the top of the bag, wincing at each crackle of the plastic. His eyes dart to the door, to the windows, to make sure no one is there, no one is watching him.

Then he reaches his hand in and grabs a chip in his fingers.

He’s not sure if he should do this now. Maybe he should wait, save this when things get dire. But everyone is gone. They’ve left him alone, with Draxum. What if Draxum doesn’t let him eat, with no one here to step in?

He’s scared of being hungry again. He doesn’t want to go back to that place. 

Just a few, he tells himself. Just a few, and then he’ll stop.

He pulls the chip out of the bag, and takes a bite.

-----

They’re at the local grocery where no one asks questions, basket half full and three minutes in to Splinter trying to decide if the Buy One Get One Half Off deal for frozen dinners is really worth it or not, when it occurs to Raph that maybe they shouldn’t have all left at the same time.

Of course, in normal times this wouldn’t have been a big deal at all, especially with a nominally responsible adult in the lair. But times haven’t been normal for over two weeks now. The thin shell of his little brother, once always the biggest and loudest in the room, now trying to make himself as small as possible, isn’t normal. 

They got Leo back, but it still feels like someone else has him.

And now Raph feels guilty. He’d been so desperate to just get away, from the feeling of being inadequate, from the fear he’d make things worse, that now he’s probably made them worse anyway by leaving Leo alone with a guy he does not like. Raph should have stayed home. Or told Mikey and Donnie to wait until he and Splinter were back before leaving.

(That worries him too, for different reasons. He knows he can’t lock his brothers up in the lair to keep them safe. But he kinda wants to.)

But he didn’t do any of that, and now they’re out and Leo is alone. Raph thinks of the chip bag and sighs. He just can’t seem to make the right decisions. The calculus is overwhelming, and Raph’s always left math to Donnie.

“Hey Pop,” he says, watching Splinter flip his fourth TV dinner over to look at the nutritional information. “Do you think… Leo is gonna be okay?”

Splinter pauses, then gingerly puts the box into their basket. He pats Raph at the knee, and Raph feels the overwhelming desire to be small again. 

“...Yes, I do. It will take time and care, but I think, one day-”

“No,” Raph cuts in, “I mean, do you think Leo is gonna be okay today? I mean, we kinda just ran off and left him alone.”

“He is not alone.” Splinter makes a face, at odds with his words. “Baron Draxum is the most annoying man in the world, but he would not let harm come to you boys.”

Raph rubs his neck. “Sure, but… Leo’s not exactly Draxum’s biggest fan. Especially not now…”

“Blue does not have to like him,” says Splinter airily. “He just has to eat the food Draxum gives him.”

“Yeah, but that’s the whole problem,” Raph insists. “He’s bein’ a huge jerk about it.”

“Ah… I know. I have spoken to him about his… tone.” Splinter waves a hand. “He is trying to be more polite.”

Raph thinks back to breakfast this morning. He’d laugh if anything were funny right now. “Is that why he was all “please” and “thank you” and “sorry” this morning? He looked like he ate a lemon.”

And judging by how distant Leo was acting, he doubts any of it made an impression. 

“It just proves that the man is incapable of being nice!” Splinter chuckles. “Do not worry, Red. We will only be gone a few hours. Most likely, Blue will sleep until we are back.”

“Raph hopes so…”

They continue moving around the aisles, crossing things off their list as they do. It’s normal and boring and Raph thinks he needs that right now. If only it distracted him from the thoughts in his head…

There’s so many questions to dwell on. And the biggest one looms over them all, constantly drawing Raph’s attention back to it.

They’re in the soup aisle when he speaks up again, saying, “Hey, Pops, do you think…” and then flagging out before he can voice it.

“Often,” says Splinter, reaching for a can of tomato bisque. “But at my age, it can be difficult!”

Raph snorts despite himself, grabbing the soup can and passing it to his dad’s fingers. “Come on, Raph’s trying to ask a serious question here!”

“Hm.” Splinter puts the can in their basket. “Then I will give a serious answer.”

“Do you think…” Raph shifts the shopping basket from one hand to the other, and resolves not to chicken out this time. “Do you think Leo did the right thing? Not talkin’ to that Bishop guy?”

Splinter goes quiet for a long time. He points to a can of alphabet soup, the kind Leo insists he’s too old for but will happily eat when he’s sick, and Raph dutifully puts the can in the basket.

“…I think he did the brave and noble thing,” he says at length.

“That ain’t the same,” says Raph.

“I do not know if there was a right thing.” Splinter’s voice is sad, fingers idly stroking one of the soup cans. “It could be that if Blue had talked, he would not be as hurt as he is now. Or it could be that Bishop would have… disposed of him, once they had what they wanted.”

The idea of Bishop “disposing” of Leo steals Raph’s breath. But it’s not like he hasn’t thought of this before.

“April said pretty much the same thing.”

“Oho! April is very wise.” Splinter nods in satisfaction, affirming for Raph once again that his favorite kid is definitely April. But then he looks up at Raph sidelong and says, “But that answer does not satisfy you.”

Raph sighs. “It’s just… what if he thought he had to stay quiet, because of something I- because he thought it’s what he was supposed to do?”

A furry hand lands on his. Raph takes a deep shuddering breath, and uses his free hand to scrub at his eyes. They’re damp, suddenly, and he’s not sure when that happened.

“…I often worry the same thing,” says Splinter, “about all four of you.”

Raph doesn’t know what to say to that. He already knows that their dad would give anything for the four of them to not have to fight; he also knows it’s out of his dad’s hands.

Why can he accept that, but not accept the same for himself?

“I’m afraid I do not have an answer for your question,” says Splinter, pulling Raph back to the grocery store. “I want you boys to be safe. But the situation Leonardo was in afforded him no safety. I’m not sure there is a choice he could have made that would have helped him. Still…” Splinter sighs. “It could be the reasons he made the choice he did are troubling.”

“Yeah,” says Raph. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Mm.” Splinter pats Raph’s hand. “Your questions and worries are wise ones, Raphael. Meditate on your answer, and when you are ready, share it with Blue. You will find your path forward together.”

Raph chews on his lips. “I’m scared I’m gonna mess up,” he admits.

“Sharing the truth in your heart is never a mistake,” says Splinter, “so long as you are doing it with love.”

Raph blinks at him. “Pops, isn’t that a line from one of your movies?”

“It is a good line! Very heartfelt.” He picks up another can of soup and tosses it into the basket. “As long as you are talking to Blue with love, you will do just fine, Red. And remember, this is not your sole responsibility. We are all here to help each other.”

It should be self-evident, but the reminder pulls some weight off Raph’s shoulders. It’s not just up to him. Everyone is coming together to help Leo. That’s why Donnie and Mikey are at the scrapyard, to finish making curtain rods for Leo’s room. That’s why Draxum is always researching and scribbling in his notebook, refining his meal plan for Leo’s recovery.

It’s not just Raph against the world. He isn’t alone, and neither is Leo.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Pops.”

“Of course, Red. Now, let’s keep moving or we’ll be late getting back!”

On their way to the checkout line, Raph spots the candy aisle, and a bag of hard, sour candies. He stops, reaching out and brushing the bag with his fingers.

“Mm… that is Blue’s favorite, isn’t it?” asks Splinter.

“Yeah.” Raph pulls the bag off its hook, holding it over the basket uncertainly. “I know he can’t have ‘em yet, but he’ll be able to eat normal stuff soon, right?”

“Right.” Splinter nods. “Put them in! We will hide them until Draxum says it is okay, then give them to him.”

Raph grins and drops the bag into the basket. At least it’s something to look forward to.

-----

Leo is halfway through the bag of chips when the curtain to his room is pushed aside and Draxum is standing there.

He was saying something about the vitamins Leo forgot to take as he came in, the little blue pill organizer clutched in his hand. But now he freezes, taking in the scene: Leo with a handful of sour cream and onion chips, his cheeks bulging slightly, the salty evidence tracking up the sleeve of his hoodie.

He’s crossed the room before Leo can blink. He grabs Leo’s wrist, and Leo cries out, twisting his arm to try and free himself.

But he can’t, he’s weak, he’s so weak-

“What are you eating!?” Draxum bellows. He tosses the pill organizer onto Leo’s bedside table; one of the lids pops open and there’s little plinks as vitamins scatter. “How much of this have you had!?”

He wrenches the bag out of Leo’s grip, and Leo yelps again as he loses the food. The only food he had, and now Draxum has it and Leo is going to-

“This bag is over half empty,” snarls Draxum, waving it in Leo’s face. Leo doesn’t have the presence of mind to defend himself, because he’s still trying to wrench his wrist free. He claws at Draxum’s arm with his free hand, and somehow it gets Draxum to let go; he jerks away with a gasp, dropping the handful of chips to the floor, and at the same time the ones already in his mouth leave painful scratches down his throat and lodge there. Leo doubles over and wheezes in a desperate attempt to get air.

“Are you- Leonardo!” Draxum looms over him, and Leo doesn’t have the strength to flee. He can’t do anything as Draxum strikes him, once, twice, three times on the shell in big, open-palmed slaps.

A white-hot cough rips up Leo’s throat, and he spews the half-chewed potato chips across his blanket, bits of drool and spittle dangling from his lips and tears rolling down his face. He sucks in a deep breath as feeling returns to his limbs.

The hand that hit him moves toward him again, and Leo dodges this time, flinging himself off his bed and into the floor, scrambling backwards to put distance between himself and his attacker.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” he shouts, hand flailing for his swords and not finding them. Where did he put them? Where did they take them?

“Leonardo-” 

Draxum takes a step toward him, and Leo pushes to his feet, grabbing for anything nearby to defend himself. But there’s nothing, nothing, where are his swords-

“Leonardo,” says Draxum more firmly, and he takes another step forward. “Stop this, you’re going to hurt-”

“No!” Leo presses himself back against the bookcase on the far wall, the metal shelves biting into the skin of his arms. “No,” he repeats, and a high, manic laugh bubbles through his throat. “You took my food.”

“This,” Draxum shakes the bag, “is all empty calories. This is not going to help your recovery! Why can’t you just do as you’re told-”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Leo spits. He feels stronger than he did a moment ago, pushing himself off the bookshelf and standing on steadier legs, squaring up against Draxum. “Just do as I’m told?” He laughs, a cold sound. “Just like Bishop wanted.”

Draxum stiffens. Something about his expression is… weird. If Leo didn’t know better, he’d almost say Draxum looks scared. “Do not compare me to him,” he says, and his voice is much lower than it was a moment ago. “I am trying to help you.”

“Help me?” Leo holds out his hand, taking a step forward. “Then give me my food back.”

Draxum watches him, gaze unwavering. He holds the chip bag closer to his chest. “I cannot.”

Leo barks out a laugh, high and cold. “I knew it. You’re just lying to me.”

Now he’s the one advancing on Draxum, slow but strong steps, one at a time. Draxum does not move.

“Leonardo-”

“I’m on to you,” says Leo. His voice is a chilly sing-song. “You’re sooo happy to have everyone out of the house. Now there’s no one to stop you from torturing me. Now you can watch me suffer.”

“I do not want you to suffer,” says Draxum, his tone measured. He still hasn’t moved an inch, even though Leo is right in front of him now, within striking distance. 

“Then why did you take my food!?”

“This is not good for you,” says Draxum. “I’ll feed you a healthy lunch in two hours.”

“Yeah?” Leo shakes his head. “What do you want me to do for it?”

Draxum’s eyes widen. “What do you mean?”

“Come on. Tell me.” Leo grins. It hurts his face. “Want me down on my knees? Want me to beg?”

Draxum’s face goes a shade paler. “No,” he says, firm. “You don’t have to do anything.”

“I don’t believe you,” says Leo. He laughs again. “I don’t. I don’t BELIEVE YOU!”

His fist connects with the glass- but it’s not glass, it’s Draxum’s face, and he goes sailing across the room like a rag doll. He slams back first into shelving, and there’s a clatter as Leo’s possessions tumble and fall around him.

He looks at Leo, eyes wide but expression steady, despite the fact that Leo just…

Leo… doesn’t know what just happened.

He shouldn’t have been able to hit that hard. He shouldn’t have been able to hit at all- Draxum should have blocked that, should have fought back, should have… should have…

“...What?” says Leo, and it comes out with a crack down the middle.

Draxum watches him a moment longer. Then he sighs and pushes himself off the shelves, getting back to his feet. He doesn’t come closer. “I cannot give you these,” he says, indicating the bag. “But I will not fight you.”

“...Why not?” Leo asks, because it just doesn’t follow anything he thought was happening here.

“Because I care for you,” says Draxum simply. Like it’s obvious.

“...I don’t understand,” Leo says, because he doesn’t.

Draxum nods. “That’s because I haven’t properly explained it to you. I didn’t think it was necessary… but it was. Is.” He sighs, rubbing his cheek, starting to glow red from Leo’s punch. “I’m very sorry for that, Leonardo.”

Leo stares. Draxum is… apologizing? He should be attacking, fighting back, not apologizing!

The adrenaline leeches out of Leo, leaving him sagging in the middle of his room - his messy room, with everything thrown around like it’s in an active war zone. A million emotions are running through him, his dying rage warring against the confusion and the beginnings of remorse, a roiling mix that leaves him feeling sick to his stomach.

…Oh wait, no. He’s actually sick to his stomach.

Leo clamps a hand over his mouth, and Draxum is moving again - more calmly, this time. He drops the chip bag on the floor and grabs the wastebasket Leo has sitting by what could generously be called a desk. He holds it out, just in time for Leo to lose his breakfast and all the chips he just downed.

Leo hovers over the wastebasket until he’s empty, until he’s spit a few times to try and get rid of the taste. Then he wipes his mouth on his palm and looks up at Draxum warily.

“Are you finished?” Draxum asks.

Leo shrugs. Draxum takes that as an affirmative and lowers the wastebasket to the floor by the doorway.

“Why are you helping me?” Leo asks.

“I’ve been helping you this whole time,” says Draxum, and it’s only the exasperation that manages to break through that makes Leo think it’s - maybe - not a lie.

“Why?” he repeats, more urgently. 

“Because you are my son.”

Leo steps back, his knees knocking into his bed. He sinks down onto the mattress, balling himself up until he can wrap his arms around his knees. 

“No,” he says. “Mikey’s your son. Raph and Donnie, they’re your sons.”

A look passes over Draxum’s face. It’s… sad.

“You are my son, too.” Draxum takes a step toward him, then seems to second guess himself and stops. “I know we don’t get along. But the fear that froze my chest when they told me you were gone couldn’t mean anything else.”

Leo stares at Draxum, searching every part of his expression for any hint, any suggestion, that he’s lying. He waits for Draxum to change his tune, to start yelling again, to hit him, to do something.

Draxum doesn’t. And Leo sags on the bed. The feeling of fear with nowhere to direct it leaves him floating.

“I’m going to explain everything to you now,” says Draxum. “But I need to get a few things first. Will you be alright on your own for a few minutes?”

Being alone for a few minutes sounds great; Leo needs to pull himself together. He nods.

“Good.” Draxum stoops and picks up the wastebasket, then the bag of chips, and the chips that fell on the floor. “Answer your phone,” he says, “before your brother comes back to skin me alive.”

Then he leaves the train car. It’s only then Leo realizes his phone is ringing - has been ringing.

He scrambles to pick it up, seeing Raph’s name and picture lighting up the screen. Raph, who is supposed to be getting groceries, because they’re running low.

Raph, who apparently didn’t rat him out about the chips.

Leo shakily presses the answer button. Then he takes a deep breath and swallows to try and calm his voice.

Then he does what he does best and starts talking.

-----

“Heeey, bro,” says Leo, and Raph wants to weep with relief.

He’s two full blocks away from the grocery now, headed for the manhole cover closest to the lair. Their groceries are somewhere on the street behind him, and Splinter is held tight in his other arm. When Leo didn’t pick up right away, Raph started moving.

He felt it, after all: not as strong as the first time, not as desperate or afraid, but still there. Leo, terrified and alone and angry, crying out for help.

Leo hadn’t answered the first four calls, and the worst scenarios are still playing out in Raph’s imagination, even though he can hear Leo now.

“Leo!” he cries, and nearly fumbles the phone. He hits the speaker button, lowering it so Splinter can hear, too. “What happened!? Are you okay!? We’re on our way back right now!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” says Leo, and his voice is scratchy and hoarse, but trying to be placating. “What are you talking about, big guy?” He sounds shaky, like saying those words in that tone is taking so much effort, and Raph wants to hit something until it breaks. 

“Just tell me what happened,” he says, trying to sound calm and failing. Splinter pats his arm and speaks up.

“We just need to know if you are alright, Blue.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” says Leo, his voice cracking a bit on the last word. He clears his throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Raph falters, staring at the phone. Does Leo not know? Could Leo really not feel himself doing that?

He gives his dad a helpless look. Unfortunately, Splinter looks just as helpless. Raph dithers on his answer too long, finally choking out, “Raph just… got a bad feeling.”

“You get bad feelings over everything.”

(Raph wishes he did. Then he would have gotten a bad feeling when Leo went to Run of the Mill on his own.)

“This was just… a real bad feeling.”

“Leonardo,” says Splinter softly, “are you certain you are okay?”

“Yeah,” says Leo, and he doesn’t sound like he’s okay, but like an actor pretending to be someone who’s okay. “It’s… Look, me and Drax got in a fight, but it wasn’t a big deal.”

“He fought you!?” Raph shouts. Someone across the street gives him a weird look.

“Not physically!” says Leo hastily. “Not- I mean- he didn’t- it’s not like he would hurt me, right?”

It sounds a little too much like an actual question, and Raph feels queasy.

“He better not, or Raph’ll hurt him.”

“Red,” says Splinter softly. Then he says, into the phone, “No, Blue. He will not hurt you.”

“...Right,” says Leo quietly. “Yeah. He won’t.”

Raph breathes shakily, trying to quell the urge to pummel a car parked on the side of the road into scrap metal. “Listen, we’re on our way back right now, okay? Just give us-”

“You got the groceries already?” Leo interrupts. He sounds so fragile.

Again, Raph looks helplessly at Splinter. This time, Splinter steps in.

“We’re getting them right now, Blue. Then we’ll be on our way back.”

“...Yeah. Cool. Good.” Leo clears his throat again. “Then… see you guys in a few?”

“...Yeah,” says Raph, at a loss. “A few.”

“Okay. Well. Bye.”

He hangs up. Raph doesn’t move the phone, staring at it long after the screen goes dark and Leo’s smiling face disappears.

“Pops, we’re not really going back for the food, are we?”

“He’ll be upset if we come back without it.”

Raph knows he’s right. He knows that. But everything in his body is screaming to get back to Leo right now, not to leave him alone for another second.

“We can’t all run off and leave him again,” he says.

“Yes,” agrees Splinter. “You are right.”

Raph nods. Then, even though it tears him apart, he turns around and starts walking back to the grocery store. He hopes no one spotted their bags and took them, or they’ll have to start over. They’ll have to leave Leo alone even longer.

“He hated being alone as a kid,” he says.

“I know,” says his dad.

“We shouldn’t have left him today. I knew it.”

“Yes. You were right.”

Raph feels a little mad at Splinter then, that he didn’t think through the consequences. Splinter said this isn’t on Raph alone, but if he’s the only one thinking about the wellbeing of his brothers…

His brothers.

He puts Splinter down, then unlocks his phone again. “I’m gonna call the other guys. They probably felt that, too.”

“A good idea,” says Splinter. Raph nods at the approval, then clicks Donnie’s contact.

Thankfully for Raph’s anxiety, he answers on the second ring. “Hello you are now conversing with Donatello,” he says in a rush, following up with, “What happened to Leo!? Are you home!?”

“No, but I talked to him,” Raph reassures him quickly. “He says he and Barry got in a fight.”

“A fight!?” Donnie echoes. “Aha! I knew he’d turn back to supervillainy one day! You owe me twenty bucks!” A pause, and then Donnie says, “Wait, is Leo okay!?”

“No,” says Raph honestly, “but I think it’s just a normal sort of bad. It wasn’t that kinda fight.”

“Ah. An emotional fight…” Donnie sighs. “But it was bound to happen, I suppose.”

“…Yeah,” Raph agrees, even though he thinks there must have been something they could have done to prevent it. He thinks about the chips again. He doesn’t know what the right thing was, still. “You felt it, right?”

“Yes. It wasn’t as strong as the first time, though.”

“What about Mikey, did he feel it, too?”

“Probably.”

Raph frowns. “You don’t know?”

“I am not Micheal.”

“…So can you ask?”

“I suppose I can text him for you.”

Raph nearly drops the phone. Then he glances down at Splinter, looking for any hint that he’s listening into Donnie’s half of the conversation.

“Why don’t you ask him, since he is right there with you where he is supposed to be!?”

“H-huh? Oh. Oh, yes!” Donnie chuckles nervously. “The buddy system, where he is my buddy, and stays in the same place as me and doesn’t go anywhere else.”

“Right,” hisses Raph. “That buddy system.”

“Yes! Well. He iiiis…n’t with me, but! He is. Here. On the other side of the junkyard!”

Raph rubs the bridge of his nose. “Well, tell him to get back from the other side of the junkyard right now so he can be with his buddy!”

“Yes, I will do that. Right now. And then we’ll be together because we’re in the same place, haha, but I’m so very busy right now goodbye Raphala!”

He hangs up the phone. Raph scowls at it.

“Is everything alright?” asks Splinter, and Raph wants to rat them out, just for a moment, but he ain’t a snitch. Even when he thinks his brothers are being unbelievably stupid.

“Everything’s fine, Pops,” he says, quickly opening his text thread with Mikey.

boy you better get your butt back to D right now or so help me you will NOT like what comes next

Then he gives Splinter a strained smile and repeats, “Everything’s fine! Let’s get those groceries!”

-----

When Draxum comes back, he’s carrying a plastic baggy, a bottle of Gatorade, and a whiteboard under his arm. He requests permission to sit on Leo’s bed, and Leo nods reluctantly.

He sets the whiteboard to the side, then opens the Gatorade and passes it to Leo. Then he opens the plastic baggy and holds that out, too.

There’s crackers in the bag. Leo takes them, a little stunned.

“I can eat these?” he asks.

“They’ll help settle your stomach,” says Draxum. “It’s not good for you to eat too much, but it’s also not good for your stomach to sit empty.”

Leo cautiously takes one of the crackers out, watching Draxum as he does. When no hand reaches to stop him, he takes a bite, chewing slow. He still feels a little nauseous, but the familiar texture and taste of the cracker soothes him somehow.

“Good,” says Draxum, propping the whiteboard on his knees and popping the cap off a marker. “Take sips of the drink, too. You need the electrolytes.”

Leo does as he’s told, alternating bites of the cracker with sips of the Gatorade. His stomach slowly unknots, and the tension in his shoulders relaxes.

He wasn’t expecting a snack, but Draxum brought him one.

On the board, Draxum has written the days of the week, and drawn out a grid underneath them. Leo eats his snack and watches as Draxum fills each square on the grid with a number.

“Where’d you even get that?” he asks after a minute.

“I borrowed it from Donatello’s lab.”

Leo whistles. “Without asking?”

“I don’t think he will mind.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Leo points at the numbers. They aren’t times, or prices, so… “What are these?”

Draxum lowers the board, turning to look at Leo. “Do you know what refeeding syndrome is?”

“…Should I?”

Draxum shakes his head. “No, there’s no reason for you to have known. I should have explained this sooner, but it didn’t feel necessary. …And I thought it might scare you.”

“Scare me?” Leo repeats. He’s not sure what could be even more scary than the fear he feels all the time now.

“I am not telling you this to scare you,” Draxum stresses. “I am telling you this so you understand what is happening now.”

Leo slowly nods.

“Right. So, do you know that when a person is starving, their body changes how it processes nutrients?”

“Yeah, it’s like, starvation mode.”

“If you must call it that,” says Draxum with a nod. “The body stops relying on carbs and glucose and uses fatty acids instead. This helps preserve the muscles, but causes a severe depletion in intracellular minerals.”

That sounded like a Donnie-level infodump to Leo. He stares at Draxum blankly. “Can you say that again, en Ingles por favor?”

Draxum actually makes a noise that could almost be a laugh. “Alright, think of it this way: a painter wants to use purple, but their purple paints are running low. So they start using red and blue mixed together, which solves the problem of preserving the purple paint, at the cost of running low on red and blue.”

Leo raises his eye ridges. “Is this how you explain stuff to Mikey?”

Draxum shrugs. “He understands art metaphors.”

Leo settles back a little more comfortably on his bed. He munches on a cracker. “It’s fine for today. Think of a comic book metaphor for next time.”

Draxum gives a long suffering sigh and says, “Fine. But do you understand now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good. So when a person eats again after a long term starvation event, their body won’t start relying on glucose again right away. It’s still in “starvation mode,” as you called it, and switching isn’t easy. The painter buys a new purple paint, but the color is different enough that they will have to use more red and blue to blend the two together.”

“I’m starting to lose track of the art metaphor here. We added purple, but we’re still low on red and blue, right?”

“Yes, precisely. Your body is low on critical minerals, and those need to be replenished at the same time it is given more carbs to convert to glucose.”

“But I still don’t understand why that means I have to eat less,” says Leo.

“Digestion itself takes energy,” says Draxum. “And the body isn’t using the tools it’s being given properly yet. So it is using more and more minerals without replacing any. The imbalance leads to stress on the body, which has negative downstream effects.”

“So, TLDR, if I eat too much right now, my body can’t handle it and I’ll get sick.”

“I have no idea what TLDR means, but yes, simply put.”

Leo looks at the cracker in his hand thoughtfully. “So all the times I’ve puked are refeeding syndrome?”

“No,” says Draxum with a shake of his head. “That is because your stomach has shrunk, and you’ve overstuffed it.” A pause, then Draxum adds, “Though I believe what just happened was a stress response.”

“I’m not stressed,” says Leo. The look Draxum gives him is not convinced. “Sooo then what is refeeding syndrome if it’s not barfing?”

“The lack of minerals causes severe stress on all parts of the body, especially the organs. This can lead to a number of disorders… including organ failure.” Draxum pauses, like he doesn’t want to say more, but he still adds, “In extreme cases, it can lead to heart failure.”

The cracker Leo is holding slips through his fingers. He feels his pulse speed up, something cold and terrible sliding through him.

“If I eat too much my heart could stop?” he asks, and his voice is small.

“In extreme cases,” Draxum repeats. “If you began showing symptoms, we would take you to a hospital. Even in the Hidden City there is no mystic cure-all for this, but they could at least reduce the stress on your organs.”

Leo shakes his head. His hands are trembling. The words feel like they’re coming to him through thousands of feet of water.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I did not want to scare you,” Draxum says again. “And I did not think it was necessary. Refeeding syndrome is entirely preventable, if precautions are taken.”

It barely penetrates. All Leo wants is food. All he wants is to eat. But now food somehow feels like the enemy. He suddenly queasy again. Should he even be eating these crackers? What is safe? What isn’t?

“Is this forever?” he manages to ask. 

He doesn’t know how to take it, if it is.

“No,” says Draxum quickly. He raises his hand and reaches toward Leo, but Leo flinches. Draxum lets it drop again. “…No, Leonardo, it is not forever,” he says, and his voice is more soft than Leo has ever heard it - more soft than he thought Draxum capable of. “The most critical time for refeeding is the first five to seven days. You are almost clear of the danger zone now. And your enhanced biology may even mean we’re already past it… though I am still being cautious.”

Leo lets out a breath. So it’s not forever - it may even be over. It doesn’t calm the racing of his heart (at least he knows it hasn’t stopped, ha ha), but it does make him feel like he can pick up the cracker again.

“Then what happens once we’re past it?”

“That is what this is for.” Draxum lifts the whiteboard again, perching it on his knees. “Even once you’re out of danger of refeeding syndrome, we’ll still need to build your daily food intake up gradually, until you can eat like you once did. These,” he taps the board with the marker, “are my calorie goals for each meal and snack. As you can see, every day it goes up.”

Leo looks over the counts. They don’t really mean anything to him, but he can at least see how the number increases across the seven days on the board. “How many calories is normal?”

“Based on calculations I have done, going off what I have seen you boys eat as well as my own estimates for your growth, you and Donatello eat roughly five thousand calories a day, sometimes going as high as six thousand when you are particularly active.” Draxum scribbles the number in the corner of the whiteboard. “It’s high compared to humans, but within perfectly healthy limits given your mutant biology and high metabolism. Raphael eats more, and Michelangelo eats a bit less, though not by much.”

“Yeah,” Leo gives a chuckle, “kid can put away a whole large pizza by himself when his blood sugar’s low.”

“Unfortunately, I have seen him do it.” Draxum sighs. “But right now, you are averaging much less.” He taps the numbers. “Our goal right now is to get to where you are eating around twenty two hundred calories a day steadily, without getting sick.”

Leo has never been the math guy, but even he can handle some simple division. “Less than half? Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. That is why ensuring that your meals are as nutritious as possible is important.” He nods at the pill organizer. “And why the vitamins are important.”

Less than half as much as he used to eat… It leaves Leo feeling a little dizzy again. Nine days without food wrecked his system this hard?

“Don’t panic,” says Draxum in that soft voice again, and Leo feels a little resentment for how it pulls him out of his ensuing spiral. “You can see that your counts are going up steadily, and as we reintroduce solid food it will get even easier. And this is not hard and fast. Going a little above this is not an issue. And I am constantly readjusting as we go. It will take time before you are… putting away entire pizzas.” Draxum scrunches up his face in distaste. “But in a few weeks, you will be eating a much more normal diet than you are now.”

Leo rubs his hand up and down his arm. “Normal like, I can eat potato chips without getting yelled at?”

Draxum sighs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you to begin with.”

“Yeah, well…” Leo fishes his last cracker out of the bag and rubs it between his fingers. “I gave you a black eye, so I think we’re even.”

“Hmph.” Draxum almost sounds amused, though he doesn’t let his lips quirk up even a tiny bit. Leo thinks he might be allergic to smiles, unless he’s doing something evil. “Still, I hope you understand the situation now.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Leo takes a small bite of the last cracker. Takes his time chewing and swallowing it. “The main thing is you’re going to keep being a pain in the butt for the next few weeks, right?”

“Yes, you’re stuck with me.” Draxum watches him take another bite of cracker, then says, “There’s something else you need to understand, Leonardo. The goal of this,” he taps the whiteboard, “is to keep you from getting sick. It is not to keep you hungry.”

Leo stares at the board, and the calorie counts, all laid out neatly. “Sure,” he says, and he doesn’t feel it.

Draxum hesitates, then taps each row, reading off, “Breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Smaller amounts of food more frequently, to keep your stomach full without overstuffing.”

“Makes sense, I guess.”

“And this can be moved around. If you eat breakfast earlier than normal, you can have a snack in the morning instead. But you tend to sleep in, which is why I structured it this way.”

“Nine’s not sleeping in,” Leo grumbles.

“Nine is- no, this is not the point.” Draxum gives his head a shake. “The point is, if you want to move your eating times around, we can. The goal of this is to keep you from getting sick. It is not to keep you hungry.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“No, I’m not sure you did.” Draxum again uncaps the marker, then writes across the top of the board five simple words:

If you are hungry: eat.

Leo stares at those words. It feels like a trap, a trick - Draxum’s being all nice right now, but the way he ripped the bag from Leo’s hands…

“I was hungry when I ate the chips,” he says, and it’s a little bit of a lie, but that’s not the point. He watches Draxum carefully, for any sign that this is all fake, and Draxum really does want him to suffer.

Draxum’s brows furrow. “You are not in trouble for eating,” he says. “You’ll never be in trouble for eating. It is just good for you right now to eat healthy things. 

“I know it isn’t fair,” he adds, voice blunt, “but life rarely is.”

Leo studies his face. And the amazing thing is, he doesn’t think Draxum is lying.

“So… if I want a late night snack, I can eat some crackers?” he asks, waving the empty baggie.

“Yes. Or a banana, or some yogurt… If you feel very hungry, you could even eat some egg, or leftover soup.”

“And you’re fine with me just eating… whenever?”

“If you are so hungry you need to eat an extra meal, I just ask that you let me know, so I can adjust.” He taps the board. “But yes, I am. You know the stakes now. I trust you.”

Trust. Leo’s never had much of that from anyone. He looks down at the empty bag and wonders if it’s really true.

“…Is there anything you need right now?” Leo lifts his eyes back to Draxum’s face. “I can get it for you.”

Leo thinks about it. “When did you say lunch is?”

“About an hour and twenty minutes, now.”

“Then… I’m fine.” Leo pushes himself further back on his bed, dropping his trash into the space between them.

“Hm. I will bring you some more juice to drink.” Draxum nods at the pill organizer. “You still need to take those.”

Leo shoos him off. “I will, sheesh.” Now that he knows how important it is.

Draxum rolls his eyes and gets up. He takes the trash, but leaves the white board propped against the wall at the foot of Leo’s bed.

He’s almost to the door when Leo clears his throat and says, “Hey Barry?”

Draxum pauses, hand grasping the curtain. “Yes?”

“Any chance we can skip telling my dad and brothers about… everything?”

Draxum looks back at him. “Trust me when I say that I would like to omit this as much as you… But I am going to have to tell your father, at least.”

Leo groans, letting his head fall back on his pillows. “This sucks.”

“Then I will try to think of ways to make it suck less.” Draxum pulls the curtain aside. “Rest, Leonardo. I’ll bring your juice.”

Then he’s gone, leaving Leo alone.

-----

Raph puts the groceries down in the kitchen, then looks toward the escalator leading down. He should stay and help put everything away, but all he wants to do right now is rush to Leo’s side.

“Go,” says Splinter beside him. “I can take care of this.”

That’s all the permission Raph needs; he takes the escalator steps two at a time and crashes down onto the lower level.

Draxum is there, standing outside Leo’s train car and looking at one of his notebooks again. When he hears Raph, he closes it and looks up.

Raph’s eyes catch on the bruise forming on Draxum’s cheek and eye - it’s just starting to darken, but Raph can tell it’s going to be a plum shade of purple by the end of the day.

“He told me it wasn’t physical,” says Raph immediately. A little dangerously.

“It wasn’t, on my end,” says Draxum.

Raph finds that he believes that, and he can’t help the way his lips quirk up at the news.

Draxum scowls. “Yes, yes, very funny.”

Raph claps him on the shoulder. “Come on, Barry. You know you deserved it.”

“We can debate that later,” says Draxum, dry. He nods at the train car. “He’s in his room.”

“Raph figured.” He locks eyes on the room, wishing he could see past the curtains to know Leo’s state. “When you guys were fighting, he… called for us again.”

Draxum’s expression turns more concerned - nearly imperceptibly so, but Raph knows him well enough by now to see it. “Yes, I know.”

“You felt it?”

“No.” Draxum pulls away. “I have things to discuss with Lou Jitsu. Is he in the kitchen?”

“Yeah.” Raph wants to know what Draxum saw, but he always wants to get to Leo as fast as possible. In the end, the draw to his brother is stronger, and he steps forward. “Help him put the groceries up.”

“If I must,” says Draxum, and then he walks away toward the escalator. Raph doesn’t hang around to watch, instead hurrying to Leo’s room.

The room is a mess, even more than normally. His action figures are scattered everywhere, comic books have been knocked from the shelves, his blankets are on the floor. Leo himself is in bed, vacant expression staring at nothing Raph can see, and it’s an eerie way to see his little brother, usually never without his phone or a comic book in his quiet moments. 

He clears his throat, and Leo’s eyes flick his way. “Hey, Leo.”

“Hey.” Leo rouses himself to alertness, like he’d been sleeping with his eyes open. He shifts on his pillows so he can better see Raph. “You guys got the groceries?”

“Yeah, we did,” he assures Leo. He walks in, standing over Leo’s bed. He’d been so anxious to get back here, but now he finds himself trapped in the same place as always, unsure what to say or do.

Leo stares up at him. “…Everything okay, hermano?”

“I came to ask you that.” Raph sits down on the edge of the bed, then startles when something hard falls against his arm. He looks and finds a whiteboard, with numbers that make no sense to him written in neat columns (not Leo’s handwriting), and, across the top:

If you are hungry: eat.

Raph can’t help but stare at those words a few seconds longer. Is this something Leo needed to be told?

Beside him, Leo is saying, “Me and Drax got in a fight, but we worked it out. It’s fine.”

“Yeah.” Raph grins, tearing his eyes away from the whiteboard to look at Leo. “I saw the shiner you gave him.”

He’s expecting a grin back; for Leo’s expression to turn mischievous, or cocky. For Leo to proudly take credit for punching Draxum right in the eye.

He’s not expecting Leo to flinch and look away. “I thought he was better at dodging than that,” he says.

Raph falters, not sure how to respond. He knows Leo; his little brother would never hit anyone for no reason, even someone like Baron Draxum. Leo might playfight, Leo might even throw things at them from time to time, but he never aimed to hurt, only to irritate. 

Once again, Raph doesn’t know the right way to approach this situation. Should he try to talk to Leo about this? Is he the right person to try? Would Leo even want to hear it from Raph, who so often struggles with his own anger responses?

(He thinks about the fight again, and feels a rush of shame.)

He’s still trying to work it out when Leo changes the subject.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Leo picks at some fuzz on his sheets. “About the chips.”

That’s something else Raph has been trying to figure out. But now, for this question at least, he has an answer.

“They didn’t have anyone’s name on ‘em.”

Leo’s fingers pause. “But you know I’m not supposed to eat those.”

“Yeah, well… I still wasn’t gonna tell. Raph’s not a snitch.” He shrugs. “Look, I know Barry’s right and you gotta be careful about what you eat so you don’t get sick. But this is still your house, Leo. We agreed a long time ago that unless food has someone’s name on it, it’s fair game.”

Leo actually smiles just a little at that, and Raph feels his heart leap at the sight. It’s not quite a full, big Leo smile, but it’s something. “And sometimes the name doesn’t stop us.”

Raph laughs. “That’s just because I got three little brothers who are a pain in the shell.” He reaches out to rub Leo’s head, and is a little surprised and a lot pleased when Leo doesn’t duck it. 

(It wraps around to concern again, when Leo seems to chase the touch like he’ll drown without it.)

“Listen,” he says, “Draxum gives you any more trouble and you just come tell me, okay? I’ll deal with it. We’ll get it worked out.” He moves his hand down to scratch the ridge of Leo’s shell, right where he can’t easily reach himself. “Raph’s got your back.”

Leo goes tense under his fingers, and Raph thinks he’s said something wrong. But the soft little, “Oh,” Leo says after isn’t upset. It’s just… surprised.

But why would he be surprised by that?

But when Raph thinks about it… when’s the last time he told Leo that? When’s the last time he felt like Leo had his back, too?

Somewhere along the way, he and Leo lost what made them them. Best friends, friendly rivals, brothers through thick and thin. It all got swallowed up by their fights and disagreements. And then Leo was taken from him.

But Leo isn’t gone. Leo is right here.

And suddenly Raph doesn’t know how he’s made it this long without hugging his little brother. He should have already. That should have been the first thing.

He moves the hand that’s scratching Leo’s shell to more firmly grab his back, watching close to see Leo’s reaction. Leo’s eyes flutter closed, like he feels totally safe, and Raph doesn’t waste the trust that’s been given to him.

He lifts Leo up and pulls him into his lap, wrapping his arms around in the safest bear hug he can give. Leo melts into it, his head leaning against Raph’s plastron, his arm coming up to loosely hook itself around Raph’s neck. 

“I gotcha, Leo,” he promises, cradling him close. “I gotcha.”

“I know,” says Leo, but Raph wonders if he really does. Raph hasn’t done a great job of showing it.

He still doesn’t know his answer. He still feels a stab in his heart when he thinks of Leo saying he did what a hero would. But April was right. Leo doesn’t need big emotional confrontations right now. He needs his big brother.

And Raph can do that. It’s the thing he’s best at.

“Hey,” he says, “wanna come watch Jupiter Jim: Venture to Venus with me?”

Leo opens his eyes to squint up at him. “Dee’ll hate it if he misses the sing-along parts,” he says, but now, finally, a little bit of his mischievousness is back.

Raph grins. “What Donnie doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Leo laughs then, small and tired and hoarse but there. Raph gives him another squeeze, then stands up and takes Leo with him.

He’s still unsettlingly light, like he was when Raph lifted him from the cot. But there’s a little more of him back.

If they get a little more of him every day, eventually, his little brother will truly be home.

-----

Leo stays in his lap for the movie. He makes no attempt to leave and Raph makes no attempt to remove him.

Splinter brings them lunch around the halfway mark: the alphabet soup they bought at the store for Leo, with bread and more banana for after. Leo complains that he’s not a little kid, but out of the corner of his eye Raph catches him industriously fishing around for the letters L, E, and O. He gets a little, self-satisfied smile on his face at his accomplishment, and Raph has to force his eyes to focus on the screen before he squishes Leo like one of his teddy bears.

After lunch, Leo dozes off. It’s not a surprise, especially given how eventful the morning was. Raph’s just glad it’s actual sleep and not that scary, blank-eyed stare he saw Leo with earlier.

Raph stays there after his arms fall asleep, after the movie ends, after he hears Donnie and Mikey come home (together, at least). He’d stay there all night, but Splinter comes in and puts a hand on his arm. He’s carrying a plate with a snack for Leo.

“Draxum wants to talk to you and Purple and Orange.”

Raph looks at Leo, still curled up against him, and shakes his head. “I don’t wanna leave him.”

“It’s alright. I will be here with him.” Splinter pats his arm again. “Take a break and stretch. You can sit with him after you’re done.”

Reluctantly, Raph gets up. He shifts Leo to the chair as carefully as he can (Leo murmurs in his sleep but doesn’t wake), then looks back at Splinter.

“You’ll be here when he wakes up, right?” he asks again.

(Maybe he’s still a little mad.)

“Yes,” Splinter promises. “I’ll be here.”

So Raph leaves. He shakes out his arms and legs, stiff from holding Leo, then swings by the bathroom before making his way to the kitchen. He can hear Mikey there already.

“-tell us what happened,” Mikey is saying, standing with his arms crossed and face angry. This is the most frustrated Raph can remember seeing Mikey act toward Draxum. Beside him, Donnie looks equally agitated.

“I have told your father what happened,” says Draxum, looking much more calm by comparison, “and we have agreed to maintain Leonardo’s privacy for now.”

“Is it about Leo’s privacy or do you think we just don’t deserve to know?” Mikey snaps. Raph knows that tone, and he knows this is about to turn into a fight.

He steps into the middle before it can. “Hold up, Mikey. Let’s hear him out.” His little brother does not seem happy with that, and he opens his mouth to argue, but before he can Raph refocuses on Draxum. “Tell us what’s goin’ on, Barry.”

Draxum’s eyes move slowly between all three of them before landing on Raph. “As I was telling your brothers, Lou Jitsu and I have agreed not to tell you all the details of what happened earlier, primarily because we are not sure how much Leonardo himself is comfortable with you knowing.”

It stings, but Raph knows he’s right. It’s like the security tapes Donnie chose not to watch. They have to let Leo decide how much they know and how much they don’t.

Still, Raph has his concerns. He folds his arms, mimicking his brothers behind him, and stares Draxum down. “Alright,” he says, and ignores the indignant noise Mikey makes behind him, “but did you tell Pops everything?”

“Yes.”

“Everything?”

“Yes,” Draxum repeats. “He needs to know, so we know how to care for Leonardo going forward.”

Raph isn’t as good at reading people as Leo, but it’s not like Draxum is an enigma, either. He doesn’t think the old goat is lying, so Raph relaxes his posture.

“Okay,” he says. “As long as Dad knows.”

“He did something so bad Leo punched him!” Mikey argues. “Leo doesn’t just do that!”

“In his defense,” says Donnie, “Draxum’s face is very punchable.”

Raph snorts at the indignant look Draxum gives that remark.

“Honestly,” says Draxum with a sigh, “all four of you boys are the same… But I can tell you that much.” He looks down, not meeting their eyes now. “I took food from your brother’s hands, before I realized what an error that is.”

All of them stiffen. Behind him, Raph senses Donnie shifting his weight in agitation. 

“You took food from him!?” cries Mikey. He sounds so betrayed. “Why!?”

“I was worried about him making himself sick,” Draxum explains. “But I did not handle it well. I have already apologized to him.”

“You better have!” Ah, there’s Doctor Delicate Touch.

“I have,” Draxum repeats. “And we have reached an understanding… which is what I need to talk to the three of you about.” He looks at them now. “There are going to be some new rules around here, at least for the duration of Leonardo’s recovery.”

“What rules?” asks Raph. “Besides don’t yank food out of Leo’s hands?”

“Well, that is an important one.” Draxum nods. “But we have also decided to adhere to a more strict meal schedule than you do normally. If meals are coming at regular, predictable times, we think this will reduce a lot of stress for Leonardo.”

Raph thinks of the words on the whiteboard. Of the neat rows of numbers. Does Leo wonder when he’ll be fed next? Does it scare him, not knowing?

Doesn’t he know his family would never let him go hungry?

“It makes sense,” says Donnie behind him. “We usually eat whenever we feel like it, but if Leo has to be careful with his diet, having a routine will make it easier.”

If Donnie thinks so, it’s probably right. Raph nods. “Yeah, sure. Whatever we gotta do to help Leo.”

Draxum nods back. “Right now, we’re planning for breakfast at eight, or whenever he wakes up, lunch at noon, and dinner at six. Leo will get regular snacks as well; smaller, more frequent meals are better for him right now than three large ones. Of course, the three of you can still do what you feel like; if you want your own snack, or want to eat later, you can.”

“Let’s all try to eat with Leo,” says Raph, looking back at his brothers. Donnie nods immediately; Mikey hesitates.

“Will Leo be in trouble,” he asks, “if he eats snacks when you didn’t tell him to?”

“No,” says Draxum. “I have already told him this. If he’s hungry, he can eat; he doesn’t need anyone to tell him he can.”

Raph’s glad to hear that; he knows he wouldn’t have been able to play food police. Mikey seems to calm down at this reassurance, too, and he nods.

“Okay. Then, we’re starting tonight? Dinner at six?”

“Yes.” Draxum seems relieved, that Mikey doesn’t look so angry anymore. “You can help me, if you want.”

“Duh,” says Mikey, and Draxum cringes. “I’ll be here!”

He and Donnie leave then; Donnie says he’s going to finish Leo’s curtains, and Mikey goes to his room. Raph hangs back, watching Draxum.

“You sure you didn’t touch him?” he asks, once he’s sure his brothers are out of earshot.

Draxum looks at him, open, not hiding. “I did not. I acted rashly, but I would not lay a hand on him.”

“…Okay. I believe you.” Raph folds his arms. “But if Leo ever tells me anything different, you know what happens next, right?”

“I do. But I would not hurt him.” Draxum looks nonchalant, despite the conversation. “Despite my best efforts, I’ve grown fond of all of you. I’m here to help him.”

Raph can’t help but smile at that. It’s probably as close as Barry will ever get to being affectionate.

“Thanks, then. For all you’re doin’.” Raph turns to leave. “But don’t yank food out of his hands again.”

“I won’t. You have my word.”

Raph decides to take it.

-----

“Blue…? Are you awake?”

Leo blinks his eyes open to find Splinter peering down at him, a plate in his hand. Blearily, he sits up in the recliner. It takes him a moment to realize he’s by himself now - Raph has gone.

It makes him feel a little sad. He knows Raph still has something he wants to yell about, but there for a short while, it was really nice to just be his little brother.

Now his dad is here, with food. Leo remembers the chart Draxum gave him - breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, snack - and feels his heart relax.

“Hey, Dad. Yeah, I’m awake.”

“Very good. I have brought you some more yogurt and fruit.”

“Yippee,” says Leo, tone flat. “I’m gonna be the most regular guy on the planet after this.”

Splinter laughs at that, and it makes Leo feel a little sense of triumph. “Cherish it while you’re young.”

“Ew, gross,” he says, and Splinter laughs again.

Leo eats his snack. The projector skips on the screen, still on but with nothing set to play. Splinter settles in on the arm of the chair and waits until Leo’s almost done.

Then he says, “Draxum told me what happened earlier.”

Leo goes stiff. He swallows his bite of banana around the knot in his throat. 

“Yeah, he… said he was going to tell you.”

“I’m sorry that he was so harsh with you. You are not in trouble for taking the chips. The food in this lair is as much yours as it is any of ours.”

“I know,” says Leo, even though he’s not sure of anything anymore. But it’s what Splinter wants to hear.

“I won’t be leaving you alone with him again.” Splinter pats his arm. “He may be reformed, but he is still stupid, and not at all fit to take care of children!”

“Which is what makes him perfect for a public school lunchroom,” says Leo, and grins when it gets another laugh out of his dad.

Leo finishes his snack. The projector is still skipping. It makes a little clicking noise every few seconds.

“...Leonardo,” says Splinter, and Leo tenses up again.

“Oh no, full name…”

“You are not in trouble,” says Splinter again. Leo wonders why he keeps saying that. “But I have to ask you this again. When you were… with the EPF. Did anyone touch you in any way?”

Leo stares at him. Why are they having this conversation again?

“No. I told you that, remember?”

“I remember. But I have to make sure.” Splinter puts his hand on Leo’s. Leo stares at it. “Did anyone… make you do something you didn’t want to do?”

“Uh… besides stay there?”

“Leonardo.” Splinter’s tone is not angry, but Leo still winces. “I understand that this is uncomfortable to talk about. But I need to know for your safety. Did any of them do anything to you? Or make you do something to them? To yourself?”

Leo stares at his dad’s hand. He thinks of getting down on his knees and begging.

“...No.” He gives his head a shake. “They didn’t even hit me or anything.” And it’s the truth.

They didn’t really do anything to him at all.

“...Alright.” Splinter leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Leo’s head. Leo keeps his eyes on their hands and listens to the skip of the projector. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah. Sure.” He hands the empty plate over and sinks further into the recliner cushions. He wishes the conversation hadn’t curdled the snack in his guts. “Uh, can we… turn on something so the projector isn’t making that sound?”

“Oh, yes!” Splinter sets the plate aside, then grabs for the remote. “It is aaalmost time for Scorpion Treadmill!”

Leo snorts despite himself. “Sure, sounds great.”

Splinter finds the channel and settles into the chair next to Leo. Leo closes his eyes and listens to the Japanese he can barely understand and his dad’s laughter, and tries to ignore the way his own skin feels slimy.

-----

After dinner, and after his snack, Donnie shows him the new curtains.

The new rods are just as makeshift as the ones from the day before, with the same color and the same details. Leo loves them. He tells Donnie so, and Donnie grins big and happy, and Leo feels happy, too, that he can still make at least one brother look like that.

“Oh, I’m so glad you like them!” says Donnie, for what must be the fifth time. “But seriously, if you want me to add some smart tech to them, just say the word.”

“Thanks but no thanks, Dee. I don’t want my curtains to gain sentience on me.”

Donnie pouts, but it’s good natured. He comes over and sits on the bed next to Leo, the two of them looking around his room. It’s crazy to Leo, how different it looks now. Though, maybe the mess is contributing to that feeling…

“It’s so dark in here now,” Donnie observes. His tone is totally neutral in a way Donnie could never hope to fake, so Leo doesn’t take it as a judgment.

Which is good, because Leo doesn’t know how to explain that he likes it that way. That the dark makes him feel calm and safe. Hidden.

“I could always add more lighting,” he says instead. He has his lanterns and a desk lamp, but he has to admit, some things will be harder without the ambient lights from outside.

“Oh, I can do that next!” says Donnie. “What kind of lighting do you want? I can see what I have in the lab-”

“Whoa, hey,” says Leo quickly. He reaches over and flicks Donnie on his big forehead. (It lacks any force, because Leo is still weak, but Donnie says, “Ow!” exaggeratedly anyway.) “I get that you’re trying to help, but you’ve done enough. I know you must have some battleshell or robot or nuclear bomb you’re dying to work on instead.”

Donnie falters at that. He eyes Leo, the same way everyone does lately, like he’s some kind of timebomb that might go off.

“I just want you to be comfortable,” he says.

“What do you mean? I’m super comfy!” Leo waves the sleeve of his hoodie in demonstration. “It’s the lair, Don-ton. Same as always.”

Donnie’s expression goes even flatter. He turns his eyes on the train car walls. “Same as always? It hasn’t even been a year.”

Leo flinches. Right, well… So it’s not the same as ever. But it’s the same as the one he was stolen from, and that’s all that matters, right?

“You know what I mean.” He bumps their shoulders together. “It’s home. It’s where you guys are. I’m totally fine.”

And he means that.

He means it, he means it, he means it.

“...Right.” Donnie is trying to sound like he believes Leo. “Well, if you change your mind about the lighting, you know where to find me.”

“I sure do, hermano.” He bumps their shoulders again. “Thanks, though.”

They sit for a moment in silence. Leo wonders if he should offer a late night movie session, or if he should send Donnie on his way. He’s torn. He doesn’t really want to be alone. But he doesn’t want to bother Donnie more than he already has.

Before he can decide, Donnie’s phone dings. He picks it up and clicks something on his screen.

“What’s up?” asks Leo.

“Oh nothing.” Donnie waves a hand. “Draxum just finally decided to leave. About time…”

“Huh? How do you… know…”

Leo leans over on his shoulder to look, and answers his own question.

Cameras. Of course Donnie has cameras. This one is outside the entrance to the lair from the sewers, and Leo can see Draxum’s retreating back as he heads for the nearest manhole.

“The camera alerts me whenever anyone other than one of the five of us leaves,” Donnie is saying. “It’s part of the security upgrades I’ve been working on.”

“Security upgrades,” Leo repeats, feeling a little faint.

Donnie doesn’t notice, jumping on the chance to infodump. “Yes! I’ve added more cameras, and proximity alarms, and I’ve been working on more upgrades to our trackers, like I told you. Oh, and new security measures for my baby, of course. And once Shelldon’s new body is complete, I’ll integrate him with the system as well, and…”

Donnie’s still talking, but Leo can’t hear it. His eyes are tracking all around his train car - the dark corners, the shelves, the nooks and crannies.

Donnie has cameras all over the lair.

Where are the cameras in here?

-----

For another night in a row, Leo doesn’t sleep.

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Do you have any Mikey angst fics you can recommend?

Yes I do! I keep meaning to update my list here. I will…at some point.

Here is the old list:

And here are a few new additions!

Wrong (ROTTMNT):

"His younger brother lies still in his lap, eyes closed and face sickly and pale. Mikey is silent and dripping in water, chilled to the bone. He's so cold.

He’s not breathing.

In that moment, everything clicks."

Or,

A presumed dead Mikey fanfic, featuring science facts about box turtles.

Disposable (TMNT 2003):

“The life of your brother, or your own? Better hurry up and choose if you at least want one of you to make it out alive.” Bishop pressed the pistol harder against Michelangelo’s forehead, staring Donatello down expectantly.

The Fixer (Bayverse)

-> You need an ao3 account to view !! <-

NOTE: I LOVE THIS ONE B TEAM ANGST SO WELL WRITTEN I AM FEASTING ON THIS FIC…anyway:

Donnie fixes, even when he breaks. April learns this the hard way.

Surface Pressure TMNT (All Media Types)

NOTE: actually, read everything by this author, I live for their writing style and characterisation

What if Mikey saw Encanto and realized something about his very own family?

Waterboarding (TMNT 2003):

If someone had asked Michelangelo a week ago if waterboarding would be effective on turtles, he’d have laughed in their face. Now thought? Now he wouldn’t be laughing. Especially as he tried to keep water from getting in his nose and mouth and wondered if he was about to set a new personal record for how long he could hold his breath.

Parasite (TMNT 2003):

After Leo is bitten by a bat, Mikey desperately tries to convince his brothers he’s no longer himself.

Or

Leo gets infected by a parasite and is slowly infecting his remaining brothers.

Lost (TMNT 2003)

-> You need an ao3 account to view!! <-

Mikey and Klunk get separated from the others and lost deep below the sewers. Good old fashion turtle luck leaves them injured with no hope of finding their way out. But they continue on, determined to survive.

MY FICS:

Fungus Humungous (TMNT 2003)

“Mikey?”

Michelangelo doesn’t answer, standing alone in the shadows. Leonardo moves to place a hand on his shoulder but pulls his hand back when the youngest screams in utter terror, his eyes wild and staring at the space around them. It’s a sound that haunts them all to their core, ringing over and over and Mikey keeps screaming and sobbing, begging for something they can’t understand. The fungi quickly latches onto his face, mushrooms digging into his eyes, across his shell -

“Mikey!” Raph yells but Mikey doesn’t hear them, lost in his own nightmare and unable to defend himself as the mushrooms consume his face completely. Instead, they can only watch helplessly as Michelangelo gets dragged into the darkness.

~

A mysterious infestation of fungi in the sewer system of their old home causes the turtles to each become trapped in the own never-ending nightmares. Imprisoned in the dark caverns and the last one standing, Leo must battle his own fears if he stands a chance of saving his brothers before they are all consumed by their own terror.

~

TLDR: remember that 2012 episode with the fungus? I rewrote that for 2003, but much darker.

Subsidence (TMNT 2003):

It is then, as his eyes travel to follow Michelangelo, that Leo spots the way the water is dripping thicker now, seeping through the concrete of the ceiling. There are signs he has carelessly neglected – the cracking on the stone, the groaning of pipes around them. His cheerful mood snaps.

Something must reflect this in his expression; Mikey pauses, a few feet ahead of him, face twisting to concern.

“Leo –“ he begins, but is interrupted when everything shudders. Rubble drizzles, then throws itself upon them as the roof collapses under the strain of the water pipes.

For a moment, Leonardo’s eyes meet his youngest brother’s and see the terror flash inside them. He barely has time to take another breath before the world caves in, and everything goes black.

~

While the brothers are out exploring a new sewer system, the whole thing collapses. With no way to get out and separated from each other, they all face their own struggles, injuries and fears as they fight to survive and find each other.

TLDR: a sewer caves in. Leonardo and his brothers are trapped because I like angst.

[somerandomdudelmao]

i was writing this all out in the tags of one of your recent updates (part 9 of 'donatello') when i realized i might as well just send it to you directly before i hit tag limit. (i hope you don't mind haha) this recent comic really reminded me of a concept that i've seen in your work that i haven't seen commented on a lot (though i could be wrong.)

casey jr and donatello's relationship as you've portrayed it is interesting in a number of ways. one i've been thinking about recently is the aspect of physical touch, and how you use that to represent the underlying themes/ideas behind their dynamic (and the story as a whole).

in the series, donnie is generally the least physical of his brothers, in that he prefers to be the one to initiate contact. (as a fellow autistic, i relate to this on a visceral level /lighthearted.) however, in your portrayal, this rule bends for casey's sake.

you've been setting up casey to follow in donatello's metaphorical footsteps for a while now, with this coming to fruition (to an extent) in recent storylines.

but going back a bit further. there's this major theme of... i guess i would call it 'responsibility?' that has been weaved through the story from... basically, day one.

in the first comic, his conversation with f!leo following leo's brief foray as a nugget (one of my favorite lines from this series overall is "...and leo-nugget." amazing, genuinely), casey admits to him that it was scary being responsible for someone that could get hurt so easily.

in one of the following chapters, we see the question asked: 'but who is there to save you?' (this chapter being a bit of a microcosm of the theme/story as a whole haha.)

though it was a chapter i had originally assumed was just for funsies and angst opportunities, i now realize i was wrong (though, i don't know exactly how intentional you were being with all of this, so i could be missing the mark here.) it actually sets up his arc rather nicely -- with casey being the one to save donatello when he was injured/knocked unconcious.

now, bringing this all back around to the original intent of this ask: how physical touch is used to represent their narrative dynamic (is that a thing? 'narrative dynamic'? am i just making shit up right now? whatever its fine /rehtorical)

taking everything in account, i want to return to a specific moment that really struck me in the comics leading up to donatello's death. it's the time where the resistance is being attacked, and donnie, despite being sick, goes out and uhhh... extirpates the problem (its always fun to see donnie go apeshit with dangerous weaponry /positive.)

during his dramatic reveal and attack, casey is by his side, clutching onto him not to cling, but to physically support him (at least, that's how i think that moment was supposed to be interpreted? i could be totally wrong here.)

i can't help but feel this is emblematic of the larger themes at play here-- i.e., casey's arc in relation to donatello.

i can't help but find it interesting how donatello, backbone of the resistance--

(despite his soft shell... which is why him no longer wearing his battle shell when he got sick was actually symbolic foreshadowing of-- *sound of gunshots*)

[editors note: i'm gonna stop myself right there, before this goes from ungodly long to "will break your dash and ask box if allowed to continue further"]

-- and certified plot mechanic (oh, so that's why he named it convenient plot-twist serum... finally, the mystery has been solved /joking /lighthearted), who is a very independent/self-sufficient character, allows casey jr to subvert his rules with casual touch. enough so, that when he is so weak that he can barely stand, he trusts casey jr to keep him upright.

out of everyone, he trusts casey.

casey jr, who, at the very beginning of the comic, saved donatello's life, physically carrying him back to the base. and casey jr, the one who, now, has rescued donatello from a fate worse than death, only to once again bring him back to safety.

(...can you tell i'm a little bit obsessed with your comic? lmao)

[also to note those most recent panels: a return to the "norm," with casey clinging to donatello's side, also providing a nice parallel. i know it's because he is very much reunited with his uncle who has been dead for two years, but c'mon. let me have this /joking.)]

anyway, i hope this made sense, and if you did manage to get through my pretentious (and probably somewhat far-fetched) rambles about the "symbolic narrative significance of touch" in a fanwork about the teenage mutant ninja turtles (/lighthearted), may i just say: i am in love with your work, and can only aspire to tell a story as engaging, heartfelt, and clever as the one you have woven.

you are a blessing to this fandom, and i am so excited to see where you go with this story.

I have to say that I didn't specifically do the mental planning for all of this. Most of this theme is simply because I do what I feel will be right. It's more of an intuitive desire than a prescribed plan, so it was pretty surprising to me to see this thought actually being formulated haha

Thank you:>

[twignotstick]

Broken Brothers (and How to Fix Them)

Part 4 ❤��� | Part 1 <- 🧡 | Part 2 <- 💙| Part 3 <- 💜

Note: This story is based on @cupcakeslushie 's Empyrean Weeping au. These characters are not my own, and this story is in no way canon to the main story. I wrote this as my love letter to the story and the characters. Especially April :)

Tags: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ROTTMNT, Raph & April, April & the Turtles, Splinter's there too, NOT MY CHARACTERS, Empyrean Weeping AU, guilt, talking it out because we're adults, basketball(???), turtle pile(!!!)

Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): yelling, small physical injury

Words: 3,015 (i may be insane🤪)

Summary: April was able to figure out her first brother easily. Now, she gets three more, with a couple more issues to worry about.

----------------------

When Splinter told her where Raph was, April couldn't help but want to go home. To leave. To act like she didn't know.

But that isn't what big sisters do.

So, instead, like the brave pre-teen she was, she went to the dojo. She went to the shrine, where Raph was already kneeling. She paid her respects (for as long as a hyperactive kid could) to those kids she had never met.

“Do you think I would have been a good big brother?” Raph asked, staring at the family photo in front of him. One of the only remnants he and his father had of his little brothers. 

“You are a good big brother,” April responded without hesitation. “You're still looking for them, aren't you?”

“...well, yeah…”

“Then you're being the best big brother that you can be!”

Raph rubbed his knuckles. “But, what if, when we find them, I don't know how to be a big brother? Maybe I won't want to be a big brother then…”

“You can just follow my lead!” April said, puffing out her chest. “I'm already the best big sister, aren't I?”

“Course you are!” Raph said. “But I can't do everything you can do, y’know?”

“Like what?” April asked suspiciously.

“Like…” Raph pondered. “Like putting your hair up! Raph ain't got no hair.”

“Hmm…” April rubbed her chin in thought. “True. But you don't need to do your big brother-ing exactly like I do my big sister-ing. You do Raph! Besides, who cares about hair when you do have the cutest, coolest, most spikiest shell ever in the whole world!”

The girl hopped on Raph's back, climbing on his spikes and tickling under his armpits in just the right spots, leaving both of them laughing blobs on the floor.

Raph was going to be the best big brother ever. April just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“DONNIE! GET DOWN FROM THERE!”

“NOW I WILL BE THE BALL!”

“NO!”

“I MEANT B-BALL DON, NOT- JUST LISTEN TO RAPH!”

Mikey’s hand wandered over to April’s fries, trying to snag one without looking away from the action in front of him. April decided to help him and angled the box so he could grab one.

Donnie had somehow managed to get himself on top of the basketball hoop, with one foot hooked over the backboard, one entangled in the net, and both of his hands wrapped around the hoop itself. Both Raph and Leo were beneath him with their hands up, ready to catch him when he inevitably fell. It was amazing he hadn’t already, honestly.

“April, tell him to get down!” Raph begged, shooting the bystanders in the stands a sideways glance.

“He doesn’t listen to me,” she responded helpfully. “He’s your little brother.”

“At this point, I don’t think he knows how to get down,” Mikey added from his spot on the bleachers. “You might have to cut his foot loose.”

“What do you mean?” Donnie asked, scoffing. “I can get myself down from this contraption just fine!”

Mikey smirked, squinting his eyes. “Prove it.”

Donnie unhooked his leg from the backboard behind him and tried to jump forward, only to discover that he had, in fact, tangled his foot a little worse than expected. He yelped when all of his body weight was suddenly put onto the small space of his ankle as his body inverted. Raph and Leo rushed up to help him down, but found that they could only push him up to lessen the pressure from him dangling. 

Raph’s eyes were blown wide. “What do we- MIKEY! DO SOMETHING!”

April and Mikey both came up quickly, and Mikey clambered up Raph’s shell. He pulled a small pocket knife from his hoodie and started sawing at the net while Donnie winced and flailed. Eventually, they got him down, and April could feel the collective relief across the brothers.

Today was supposed to be an easy day. Go out to the surface, pick up some fast food, and show the boys how to properly play basketball. For the most part, it was an easy day. But of course, it couldn’t stay easy. Stupid turtle luck and all. So when Leo just happened to say the wrong thing for Donnie to misconstrue, it all fell apart.

“What were you thinking?!” Raph shouted, looking at Donnie on the ground who was massaging his irritated ankle. “You could have gotten seriously hurt! You did get seriously hurt! I warned you!”

“Chill out, Raph.” Leo tried to place himself between the two. “It's not that serious. No need to get your mask in a twist-”

“Not that serious?” Raph got up in Leo’s face. “You’re telling me it’s not that serious?! You were just as worried as I was!”

Leo pushed Raph’s plastron lightly. “Yeah, when he was dangling from a basketball net. Now he’s on the floor, and it’s fine.”

“We’re all good, bro!” Mikey sat down next to Donnie, looking at the injury himself. “Yeesh, that is not pretty, though…”

April was starting to feel like she wasn’t supposed to be here for this conversation.

“All good?!” Raph stomped on the ground, leaving a small crack on the court. “If we hadn't caught him, he could have broken his leg, or smashed his skull open! If we weren’t here, he could have just sat here, waiting for some human to find him! What happens then?!”

April tried to step forward. “Raph, you need to calm down.”

Donnie looked up with pitiful eyes. “I'm sorry, Raph, I didn't-”

“WHY DON'T YOU GUYS EVER LISTEN TO ME?!”

Raph threw his hands up, only to freeze when he looked down.

Mikey had his hand firmly in his hoodie pocket, ready to take out his pocket knife again. Leo had readied himself into a defensive position, one he had practiced many times in the dojo. Donnie held his arms braced in front of his face, neck turned away, ready for impact.

Donnie's eyes were clenched shut, but Mikey and Leo kept theirs trained on the threat.

The threat.

The threat.

Raph's breath got shaky, and he stepped back slowly. His eyes kept darting across the brothers beneath him. He picked up his pace and hurried out of the basketball court, walking with purpose down the sidewalk under the New York moonlight.

April walked up next to the boys on the ground. Leo looked at her, with despair and guilt in his eyes. “April, we didn't…”

“I'll find him,” she promised. “You boys just stay here, alright? If anybody walks by, put your hoods up. Sound good?”

The brothers nodded solemnly, and April hurried to catch up with the eldest. 

The New York streets were, thankfully, empty due to how late it was. The only lights showing now were the light of the moon, the stars, and the streetlights. The air felt thick, but April couldn’t tell if that was because it was humid or because of the nervousness she felt. April was able to see the large form of the snapper quickly moving down the sidewalk. She jogged to catch up, only for Raph to turn and start scaling a nearby apartment building.

The turtle got up to the roof quickly because of course he did, he's been training as a ninja his whole life. April sighed and strained her neck up to where he had vanished. “You know I'm not good at this stuff, right?!” She called up, not expecting a response. Sighing in defeat, she moved toward the fire escape.

She scaled up, having to toss herself up when she reached the top level, and hefted up onto the roof. After recollecting her breath, she looked up to see Raph curled in a ball in the far corner of the rooftop. His arms were wrapped around his legs, knees held close to his chest. He had his beak stuffed down, hiding his face, with the hood of his hoodie haphazardly covering his neck and the back of his head.

April settled down silently next to him.

His breaths were deep, but they had a relatively normal pace. April wasn't worried about that. She was beginning to worry about how deeply he was shoving his face down. She rested a hand on his arm softly, ready to pull away if she needed.

“...did you see their faces?”

April almost missed the whisper. “Raph?”

“Their faces, April,” Raph sighed, lifting his face to reveal his reddened eyes. “There was so much fear in their faces. They… they were scared, April. They were scared of me.”

He choked back a sob. “They were scared of me, April! They thought I was gonna hurt them! Little brothers don't get scared of big brothers! Big brothers are supposed to keep their little brothers safe!”

He placed his chin on his knees, looking blankly into the air. “Raph ain't no big brother. I just… ain't built for it. They deserve more than what they got.”

April put a hand on the side of Raph's face, making sure he was looking at her. “Do you want a hug, big man?”

Without hesitation, Raph wrapped his bulky arms around April's much smaller body. April knew he was holding back, but the squeeze around her core was still strong. She didn't mind.

Over her shoulder, she heard the whimpering voice of her little brother say, “...why can't I do this?”

April rubbed the turtle's spiky shell through the hoodie he was wearing. The spikes were threatening to poke through the fabric. “You're still learning how to be a big brother. Just like they're learning how to be little brothers.”

“If I had done something, maybe they… m-maybe they wouldn't have gotten hurt. I-if I'd stepped up as a big brother, maybe none of this…”

Raph's breath hitched as his tears started to fall.

“...you're not talking about the hoop anymore… are you?”

Raph squeezed her tighter, rubbing his face on her shoulder.

“None of that was your fault, Raphael. You were a kid.”

“I was supposed to protect them, April!”

“Maybe you were. Maybe that's what you should have done, and you didn't. But you can't change that now.”

Raph leaned back, and April wiped a tear from his face. Only one; she didn't dare wipe them all. He needed this.

“You can't beat yourself up because of things you didn't do. That's not what big brothers do.” April lifted his chin, just a bit. “What big brothers do is help get through the aftermath. You have to be there for your little brothers when they need you. And sometimes, they have to learn things the hard way. It's your job to make sure they truly learn, and heal.”

Raph leaned into April's palm. “I don't know if I'm all cut out for being a big brother anymore, Apes.”

April huffed through her nose. “Well, that's too bad.”

“What?”

“You don't get a choice no more, Raphie. You wanted to be their big brother. Now they need their big brother. So either you leave your baby brothers without a big brother to take care of them, or you tough it out and make them feel loved.” April lightly punched Raph's shoulder. “I didn't put all this effort in for nothing, either. I'm trying to be a big sister too. And with brothers like yours, it ain't easy.”

“Mikey's easy,” Raph laughed.

“Sometimes, maybe, but other times, he's a perfectionist and a doormat! And Leo's always got a stick up his butt, and don't even get me started on Donnie!”

“Hey!” Raph shoved April's shoulder back. “Don't be talking about my little brothers that way.”

“And there's that big brother.” April smiled, patting his arm. “It's like you don't even have to try.”

“Well,” Raph said, grabbing April's hand to hold, “I learned from the best.”

April's chest puffed proudly, and she pulled Raph in for one more hug.

The sweet moment was interrupted by April's ringtone coming from her back pocket. She pulled her phone out and answered Mikey's call.

“Hello?”

“Hey April! Did you find Raph?”

April looked at Raph in front of her, then back at her phone. “Yeah, I found him.”

“Sweet! Well, uh, we were going to just head back to the lair, and you guys can meet us there? I think there's a Lou Jitsu movie, a bowl of ice cream, and a turtle pile with Raph's name on it. If he wants it, of course! And I think I can convince Pops to get in on it too…”

Raph met April's eyes, then inched closer to speak into the phone himself.

“I'll hold you to that, big man.”

Mikey immediately cheered up on the other end of the phone at the sound of his big brother's voice, and April handed Raph the phone so they could talk. She sat back and watched Raph apologize to Mikey, all while smiling and promising the biggest hugs he could possibly give.

He had grown so much. Physically, that was obvious. But ever since his little brothers came back into his life, April had seen Raph grow as a person. He was better for it. He was stronger for it. Because now, he had something to protect.

Raph was going to be the best big brother ever. April just knew it.

----------------------

Apologies were given, ice cream was eaten, and Lou Jitsu movies were watched. The four brothers were left sleeping in a pile of limbs and bean bags, and it was the happiest sight April had seen in months. Raph at the base, with his arms wrapped around Donnie and Leo at his sides, and Mikey tucked into a ball on Raph's plastron. Each of them, just a picture of bliss.

Splinter had gotten up to make tea, which he had done quite easily with his ninja dexterity. April, on the other hand, had struggled for a full 3 minutes to get out from her wedge between Leo and Raph without waking them. It was worth it, anyhow. Even if just to see the brothers like this. (And to talk with Splinter, but the boys being cute took priority.)

The rat filled his absurdly skull shaped kettle with water and began boiling it. He turned around to see April and smiled. “Would you like a cup?” he asked softly.

“Sure!” April affirmed. “I'd love that.”

The tea brewed, and the two enjoyed each other's company in silence. April had never felt quite as close to an adult other than her parents as she did with Splinter. And sure, he was a giant rat man who often did strange things like singing to get his back popped into place and bragging about how hot he was in his past, but he was one of the kindest people April knew. Human or not. And coolest, of course. He was a ninja warrior, what did you expect?

Once their cups were filled, they returned to the living room. April sat on Splinter's couch, while Splinter himself stood to the side. Both looked at the slumbering turtles as they sipped their tea.

“Thank you.”

April looked down at Splinter, whose eyes were filled with pride. “Me? Why?”

“They would have never been like this without your help. Usagi's and Cassandra's as well, but especially yours. It is because of you that they can be so peaceful like this.”

“A rare sight,” April snickered.

“Yes,” Splinter agreed wistfully. “When you have four teenage boys, you learn to appreciate moments like this.”

April looked fondly at the rat, then at the boys, with a strange fullness in her chest. A familial feeling. One growing stronger by the day.

“You have done more than help them,” Splinter continued. “You have encouraged me to come into my role as their father. You have reminded me, time and time again, that I am their father, and I must act as such.”

“‘Reminded’?” April teased. “You don't need reminding. You're, like, the best dad ever. No offense to my actual dad.”

Splinter laughed, a smaller version of that hearty, old man laugh he had. Quiet enough not to disturb his sons.

“I'm serious! You should get some sorta reward for this. Maybe a plaque- ‘World's Best Father Who Got Turned into a Giant Rat and Accidentally Got Four Impromptu Turtle Sons’.”

“Oh, April.” Splinter placed his small hand on April's arm, looking over at his sons with shining eyes. “I have my reward.”

April fought laughter at the cheesy remark, but she kept silent. The rat put his empty cup down and climbed back into the turtle pile, carefully nestling back into the perfectly sized space between Raph's plastron and Mikey's. Even in his sleep, Mikey's arm instinctively curled around his father.

April suddenly felt a wave of fulfillment in her core. A feeling that told her she had done something right. That she had truly made a positive impact on something.

And maybe that something was a family of mutants. Four boys forced to grow up too soon and a father with haunting memories in his mind.

They weren't perfect. They never would be. Not with the hand they got. But, even so, they were trying. They were improving. That was all April could ask of them.

Some things would never be fixed. In certain ways, her brothers would always be broken.

They just needed someone to help carry them when they shattered. 

April finished her tea, placed her cup next to Splinter’s, then stepped as quietly as she could to return to her place in the pile. Donnie scrunched up and rubbed his face at the disturbance, but fortunately didn't wake. When he calmed back down, he placed his cheek on the crest of Mikey's shell contentedly, drooling just a bit.

As April settled back in, Leo rubbed his face in her hair. Raph churred softly at the feeling of pressure returning to his chest. All of the mutants let out a calm breath as their bundle became complete once more.

She was always happy to pick up the broken pieces, especially if they brought her warmth like this.

○●○●○●○

Behold, the finale. 8,776 words total. I had to rewrite some parts of this a couple times to get it right. Originally, I was just going to end it with Raph agreeing to go home, but that didn't feel like a proper way to wrap up this whole story. And with the lack of Splinter throughout, I figured that last scene would be the perfect way to wrap it up. 🐀

Shout out to @cupcakeslushie again. The EW comic was actually the thing that finally made me get a tumblr account instead of watching from the sidelines. Now I get to enjoy one of the coolest communities ever, thanks to that. Thank you, slushie <3

(also, i may or may not have something for venus in the works,,👀🩵)

I plan on writing more @tmntaucompetition propaganda stuff while the comp is going on. There are so many skrungly aus i want to get my little paws in,,,, But after that, ive got some aus of my own that i cant wait to share!

Check out the tmnt au comp, follow EW (THE NEXT PART OF THE LEO ARC COMES OUT TOMMOROW, AH), and thank you for reading! :)

[snackugaki]

... my ass actually got like 6+ images deep before realizing i hadn't posted shit-- oops

my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10

tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

IDW spoilers below, teeechnically Mirage & Next Mutation spoilers too ig?

blah blah blabbering because that's one of the many things you can do on tumblr.com

bloopity bloopin, turtles all being traded on the black market as pets, medicine, or decor to be... "prepared". 'cept Jennika, keeping her IDW origin because it's badass and I like it. eco vigilantes freed them one fateful night, same night someone(s) stole some mutagen for a rival company to TGRI, boom collided in their getaway routes, away floated Venus just like in NM and some others who lalala may or may not be some mutanimals

playing mostly with coloring, Rise introducing markings is such a nice and refreshing change from the all sam green turtle, different bandana color turtles I grew up with. fanon taking that concept and applying it in conjunction with actual turtle colorings also scratches my visdev brain node just so

hm... still fiddling with their plastrons... Venus' and Jennika's are fine though

Leo

funky li'l ringed map turtle

can't see it but, he got them little ridgey-spikies on his shell

christ, I'm finding a way to attach Iris symbolism to him, either through markings or something else

Iris in hanakotoba is... basically all Leo; nobility, bravery, honor, courage, heavy samurai association

5'2"

Raph

McCord's or Amboina box turtle idk idk idk can't choose

stuck on coloring him with a scale mail feeling to match the box turtle photos I found

....I needa draw him beefier, he can stand to be beefier

5'6"

Donnie

literally just googled which turtles exhibit the highest INT, wood turle consistently listed plus some have funky geometrically patterned/shaped shells

tossing on how do the plastron coloring, really liking the dark spots on it

probably keep the lightened belly/inner limb coloring

...probably... lol idk

5'8"

Mikey

my perfect chonky boy, no notes except he (and his brothers) need plastron do-overs

and now i am stuck with the heart-on-his-sleeve marking

canon 2 my iteration it is done

he gets to be the slider this go round, if just 'cuz he's technically the first born (in terms of creating TMNT and its story and world)

let him have the fluttering, finger drumming on everything and everyone because he's bursting with "i love you" energy anyway

5'4"

Venus

"my pretty daughter" iykyk

sea turtle as per last couple iteration posts

cultivator instead of "shinobi"

"i aM ShiNObi"... guh, just, I dunno, the term "cultivator" wasn't really known back in '98 like that, but she had the medicine box, she worked to learn how to throw a fireball at Vam Mi, she was pleased at her progression when she defeated the counterspell from the staff of Bu Ki. that's cultivator shit right there.

she's still a pugilist more than a iron fan user

looks up to April like a big sister, speaks canto and hakka with her

cuz she's still a linguist scholar like in Next Mutation so duh she speak all the languages (to an extant, she has a lot of studying left to go after all)

the greenified hawksbill coloring is growing on me...

still needa futz more with the plum flower motif on her

also figure out her huadian situation or just scrap it idkidkidk

her bandana + 50% green coloring is also growing on me....

5'10"

Jennika

technically also ringed map turtle since it was Leo who gave her the blood transfusion

I like the idea of bringing her Blaschko's lines to the forefront post-mutation but just... it's a lot of stripes. and goddamnit I ain't even gonna go deep into much of anything with the comics I just... can't not world build rip me

6'0"

April

still so tickled at April being closer to the turtles' ages in these new reboots and fascinated how it's played out

...but mine is a clean 44 yo, so. (turtles in late 30s)

Laird originally conceived April as an asian woman in his notes, Eastman drew her as a biracial woman he was dating at the time (April Fisher) and... idk what to tell y'all, people are running around being mixed in this world all the time, Brooklyn got hella Jamaican/Chinese so there you go

can speak canto and hakka

April being a "weirdo" as I've seen mentioned in Rise can stay, I'm picking that, that's a great trait to her character, big fan of Poly Styrene, loved Rachel True in The Craft

where "weirdo" is just she's into alt subculture and being in New York... she got her hands everywhere in those scenes

She and Chu Hsi get to have the most shoujo fuckin' romance because it's cute

and she's still a living drawing which I'm changing around a bit being why she felt like a "weirdo" and leaned towards subcultures and the turtles, she did eventually begin to destabilize but Venus stabilized her by trapping her in a scroll so she could work on a solution. ...where she has a long, happy relationship with Chu Hsi in the painted world scroll because lol time dilation

saw somewhere on the hellsite that the tooth gap is passed around every iteration... so April gets to have it

5'7"

Irma

i'm not ashamed to say I just reupholstered Nadia from Russian Doll

87 Irma went through a lot so she can have some dry wit and humor and be fly as fuck, big hair, big glasses, and a big attitude

still besties with April

likes moths, they're just neat little guys with rabbit ears iykyk

there is a very specifc size of her hair I am battling to keep consistent the problem it never feels big enough

says "fuhgeddaboutit" and has yelled that she is, in fact, "walkin' here,"

... she might also have a little bit of Myrtle from AHS: Coven sprinkled in now that I'm thinking about it to sum her up

she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody for any random thing you could want to try to find

all the delis and bodegas know her

discusses plot lines from soap operas with Splinter on weekends, they get heated

5'5"

... god all this and I was just gonna have them play spades and play a round of pickup street ball in silly little comics

[lieutenantbiscute]

Shell Shocked AU

Chpt. 1

‘Open home, Open Hearth’

—

Honestly Raph didn’t know how he ended up with four turtles tucked in his black duffel bag.

Four small, innocent, far-too-young mutated turtle babies. And yet here he was, a pep in his step as he got off his stealth bike and took off his helmet. Gloved hands wet from the rain he had to drive through after popping out of a random portal post mystic-alchemist-laboratory-explosion. He was scratched up and a bit singed but not worse for wear; shaking his jacket a bit for the same reason as he took it off.

He quickly turned back to the bag now seated in the abandoned drivers seat. Opening it he was greeted with eight pairs of eyes staring back at him for a still moment. The snapper of this little quartet opening his jaw menacingly and puffing hisses at him, trying to be as big and deadly as possible for only being no more than a foot or so in probably height.

Raph chuckled, seeing the Slider pop out behind said Snapper. The larger tots attempts to play ‘Big Bad Guy’ failing as he gets shoved to the side by the Box turtle that wanted to join his Slider brother. The Soft shell sticking to the back away from his brothers, curled in and acting as small as possible.

‘Fast kid—‘ Raph thinks as he moves to quickly catch the Slider who seemed to try and jump from the bag.

“Ok ok, time to get you guys inside.” He moved to pull the duffle strap over his head. Trying to not jostle the tots too much as he made his way into the lair. Mona was usually asleep by the time he gets back from his evening patrols.

Same for Leo and maybe Donnie if he was able to get away from his workshop. Mikey usually was the only one to greet him on the way in.

But looks like tonight would be different!

He took note of a paused game on the tv, controller placed on a messy array of blankets and pillows. Yup, Mikey was definitely still awake.

‘He won’t fuss if I take a few blankets though!’ Raph joked in his head as he took a few and placed them on the ground. Arranging pillows to form a loose circle and gently placed the duffle in the middle. Kneeling down and opening the already unzipped bag further, he leaned back a bit to let the four tots take a peak at their surroundings.

“Don’t worry guys your safe. Just gotta get something from the kitchen real quick.” Slowly reaching a hand out, palm up. The Box turtle and Slider quickly pushed towards to try and climb and muzzle their way into his palm. Raph couldn’t sit here and lie, the kids were melting his heart as he gently rubbed the smaller ones cheek.

“I’ll be right back, promise.” Quickly getting up and jogging to the kitchen he took note of the noise coming from it and the smell of coffee.

‘Great, Donnie’s awake. I won’t hear the end of it from him.’ Stepping into the kitchen as casually as possible to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, he heard an intake of breath behind him.

“Geez Raph what the shell happens to you?” Donnie asked. Right, he hadn’t cleaned up the cuts he’d gotten from getting thrown through concrete and glass. He turned and smiled as confidently as possible.

“You should see the other guy! I’m fine Donnie, just a few scrapes here and there!”

“Hey man as long as you’re still standing I count that as a win!” Mikey piped up. He was in nothing more than a pair of sweatpants and had a sandwich prepped on the counter. Compared to Donnie’s nightgown and coffee, he was the picture perfect definition of ‘slacker’.

“See? Mikey trusts me on this, why not you Donnie?” He chided playfully, slowly inching his way out of the kitchen again as he uncapped a cold water-bottle. Thanking his purple brother secretly for putting the case of it in there in the first place. Donnie sighed as he pitched his brow, nose tape in the way as Mikey patted his shoulder, sandwich done as he followed Raph out.

“Please Raph I know that look on your face; you didn’t bring home another stray right?” He stressed, following the two. Raph shrugging his shoulders; not exactly an answer.

“Sooo what did ya’ bring back??” Mikey questioned further just as the three of them stepped out into the living room. Mikey stopping dead in his track and Donnie whined next to him, Raph could practically feel his younger brothers awe and annoyance as they drank in the image of Raphael walking towards four young mutated baby turtles in his duffle bag.

And watched him sit near them, legs bracketing them on two sides.

“Please tell me those aren’t four mutated baby turtles??” Donnie stressed. Mikey practically bouncing on his feet as he moved to quickly set his sandwich down on the steps before following Raph.

“Those are definitely four mutated baby turtles!! Hey littles mans!!” Mikey greeted warmly kneeling next to Raph’s left leg. The tots had sprawled a bit, save for the Softshell and Snapper, who still had his jaws opening and puffing hisses his way.

“Damn he’s got an attitude!” Mikey jokes as he looked behind him to where Donnie had joined in. He had his face resting in a hand, his arm crossed as he wore a worrier expression. Raph sighed, waving a hand Donnie way,

“Relax, I got it handled.”

“Relax? Handled?? Raph you’ve got four mutated baby turtles sitting here in the middle of the lair! And what do you mean by handled anyways?!” Donnie countered, arms outwardly expressing his inner whirlwind of emotions.

He really hasn’t gotten much sleep yet.

For beat there was silence before Mikey suddenly had a lightbulb go off. Looking up from where he had been toying with the Slider he wore a wide eyed expression that quickly grew into a smile,

“You’re keeping them!” He exclaimed, Raph moving quickly to cover his mouth as Donnie was now squatting behind his brothers; Coffee having been placed my the sandwich. Worry lines growing deeper as he sat his coffee down. “You can seriously be considering adoptions these guys Raph?? Where will they stay? What’ll Leo say?!” He fretted.

“Look I’ll handle Leo when he’s up, right now can I just chill out for five minutes? Hello?? Kinda battered and bruised here.”

“And charred man, you got ash on ya.” Mikey moving to lick his thumb and clean Raph’s cheek as the elder pulled away. Always the one to start something; Mikey. Keeping his brother at bay with a hand to his face Raph looked down to the turtles that were staring upwards at he and his siblings. The Slider had moved further out of the bag, Box turtle not so far behind while the Snapper seemed to be inching his way towards the bags edge as well, hissing having stopped.

The Softshell still hasn’t uncurled from where he was hidden. That caused Raph to worry a bit. Maybe he way just tired??

‘Maybe he inhaled smoke??’ Raph worried as he felt his arm give way when Mikey pulled back. Donnie sighed as he inches closer, eyeing the little turtles as three seemed to begin exploring somewhat. His eyes landing on the Softshell’s curled form.

“He hasn’t moved a lot.”

“Yeah I was thinking the same thing.”

“Maybe he’s just cold?” Mikey piped in. He wasn’t wrong, there was a reason why he had brought out a crap ton of blankets and pillows to the couch for the night. Raph shrugged, “maybe?”

With a gentle hand he reached out to it. Avoiding the Snapper and his wide jaws again easily as he gently scooped up the Soft shell. He was cold to the touch for a moment before it seemed to curl even tighter into itself “definitely still alive!” Mikey commented.

“Yeah but cold as shit man, pass me a pillow and another blanket Donnie?” Despite his reservations Donnie complied. Raph resting the pillow between his legs as he now crossed them, passing the Soft Shell on top of it after wrapping him gently in the warm cloth. Still no major movement.

“Try rubbing his back? Usually helps with Leo.” Mikey commented, keeping a hand out to block the Slider from wandering further. Raph, timidly at first, moved to rub the little turtles back. Growing more confident as he continued before-

A squeak. Some face rubbing and finally a small face looking up his way. His face markings gave away the expression of being upset about being awoken. A beat of silence was shared between Raph and his brothers and the little tot before the Snapper seemed to appear at the pillows edge. Making his way up into the center of it, turning upwards at Raph before he hissed again and curled near his smaller sibling. Wiggling in as close as possible despite the others protesting squeaks.

“Ok so he’s a dude with a ‘tude was just tired huh?” Mikey quipped. Donnie hummed in acknowledgment as Raph sighed, turning his attention to where the other two turtle tots should be. Well, were.

“Mikey where are the other kids?” Raph asked quickly before he heard a plate clatter behind the three of them. Turning quickly to see that the Slider and Box turtles had gotten to Mikey’s sandwich, Donnie got up and quickly nabbed his coffee before it could be spilt. “Aww man what?? Come on little dudes not cool.”

Mikey made his way over the clean up as Raph gently set the pillow down on the floor, grabbing the blanket already there and curling it around said pillow to keep it in place. Looking back he could make out the Slider chewing through the cold meat of Mikey’s sandwich and the Box eating the lettuce that was in it as well. Raph made his way over and gentry picked up the two of them; too preoccupied to care about the change in height.

He brought them both back to their siblings, moving the blanket here and there to give them space to eat and shortly after curl up and sleep. Donnie took a sip of his now luke warm coffee before he spoke “So, what are you gonna tell Mona?”

That question hadn’t crossed his mind- well it had but now that he was sitting here with four young lives in his hands, he felt frozen.

“She has to know man—“

“She will. We. We have been thinking about kids recently ya know?” Raph turned to look back at his brothers. Both wearing mildly shocked expressions and sharing a look with one another. The tone suddenly serious for the night.

“Hey look it, if you’re fine with it and it’s something you’ve been gunning for then go for it.” Mikey reassured. Picking up what was left of his sandwich and placing it back on the plate before heading back to his older, red toned brother. Donnie sighed as he joined him too. All three sitting as they watched the little quartet of turtles sleep their worries away.

“How long ago did Mona turn in?”

“Honestly? I’d say an hour or three now Raph.” Donnie commented.

“We can keep an eye on the guys if you wanna wake her? She’s gotta know-“

“I know that Mikey. And I am. Just wanted to be sure.” Raph replied getting up and dusting off his knees. ‘Just gotta wake her first.’

—

Raph got up to head to their shared room, turning around quickly though as Mikey and Donnie have a nod and thumbs up as to watching the kids. Quickly making his way down the hall he came to a stop at his and Mona’s shared room for the time being. Quietly he slide the door open, catching the attention of Chompy as he got up and stretched from where he was sleeping on the rug by the bed.

“Hey buddy, don’t be too loud ok? I missed you too.” Raph smiled as the alien turtle trotted up to him, tail wagging and tongue licking his face in excitement. He had grown to around the height of Raph’s knee as the years went on. Raph crouching down to give him chin scratched and head pats as he stole a glance at the bed.

Mona laid there in a sleep tank and loose slacks. Sleeping and buried under a thick comforter pulled over her shoulder and to her chin. It was a sight he could never get enough of no matter how often he got the chance to see it. Getting up and walking past Chompy he slowly sat at the beds edge. Trying his best to not disturb his wife.

Huh, he still wasn’t over that. Not when his heart still skipped a beat even after all these years of being together. He watched her for a moment before reaching out a gentle hand to caress her cheek softly.

Green against blue he inched his face closer, a soft kissed placed in her forehead. “Mona? Y’gythba, babe, hey.”

Raph softly spoke resting his face there for a moment before Mona stirred. Slowly opening a yellow eye as she focused on her scuffed and singed husband. A hum left her as she pulled her head further out from beneath the cover’s.

“Hello.”

“Hey, you with me yet?”

Raph ask as he rested on top of Mona, an arm snaking around him. The tiredness suddenly hit him as he listened to her heartbeat, all the fighting an fretting was suddenly an afterthought as he sought to bury himself in the comforter. Adrenaline leaving him. A finger tapped his shell flatly, “what was it you want now?”

“Hm? Oh, right.” Getting up, despite his bodies protests, he sighed. Now fighting to keep his eyes awake he stretched his arms over his head. Turning to Mona,

“Remember how we’ve been talking about kids recently?” Nice, straight to the point- great job Raph. Mona seemed to be pulled into focus as she looked at him, a hand now resting against her forehead as she had turned to lay on her back.

“Yes, Raph what does that have to—“

“And how I’ve recently been on Draxum’s trail?” Raph pressed further. Mona now was starting to sit up, her face screwed in sleepy confusion.

“Yes. I know about it, but what does this have to do with children Raphael?” She questioned as Raph got up, holding a hand out. Chompy quickly coming to stand by his side from where he had been laying in wait on the floor. “Do you trust me?”

A small tired smile rose to Mona’s face as she took his hand and got up. Towering over him even after all these years. She could still pick him up without a sweat, though now he could do the same to her in return. Raph tilted his head up as Mona rested her nose against his, a sleepy laugh leaving her as Raph quickly stole a kiss from her. Leading her out of the room- only stopping to have her grab a blanket at the end of the bed to wrap herself in and letting Chompy leave the room first.

Making their way towards the lairs main room. It was like no time had pass, his brothers were still on the floor and the kids still asleep. Though only difference now being Mikey now holding the cup of coffee at his side while Donnie seemed to be slouching. Sleep clawing at his form.

‘Big ups to Mikey stealing the coffee.’ Raph remarked. Chompy quickly made his way over to them both, Mikey looking back just in time to slow the alien turtles charge.

“Whoa! Hold it big guy! Very delicate and squishy guys sleeping here!” He laughed as Donnie was started to a more awake state. He turned in a sloppy motion; dazed look on his face and waved at his brother and sister-in-law. “Hey Mona, surprised he got you up.”

“Hello Donnie, why are you still awake?” Mona questioned. She stood a bit worried about the purple turtle as he waved a hand, Mikey turning Chompy Donnie’s way to have the fire breather lick him awake. “Yeah man why you up so late!” He joked as Donnie sputtered at Chompy’s incessant licking and tail wagging.

“I could ask the same of you Michelangelo.” Mona stated plainly, smirking at Mikey as he rubbed the back of his head. A squeak soon came from the pillow between Mikey’s crossed legs. Chompy immediately stopped his assault on Donnie as he turned his attention towards the noise. The Slider was awake and eager to begin his exploring again, quickly making his way down from the pillow as Donnie attempted to hold Chompy back; Mikey quickly picking up the Slider.

“Is that-?”

“Surprise?” Raph awkwardly shrugged, Mona looking back at him in shock before letting go of his hand and quickly making her way down towards the Slider and his siblings. His squeaking quickly lead the others to waking, and now it was a jumble of various squeaks and chirps.

And of course the hissing. Can’t forget about the Snappers hissing. Mona chuckled as Mikey offered her the Slider to hold, who was struggling to sit up as he was laying on his plastron only in Mikey’s hand. He chirped as Mona took him gently, eyes wide and head tilting as she brought him close to her face.

“Hello there.” She quietly greeted. The Slider answering a loud and cheerful squeak, tail wagging as she lowered him and held him close to her body. Raph soon sat beside her and wrapped the blanket more firmly around her shoulders. Mona turned to look at him and shared a warm smile with him.

“They’re so small, he barely fits my hand.” She whispered. Both her and Raph looking down as the Slider squirmed to look at where his siblings were. Box turtle and Snapper were up and on the move their way, Mikey staying still as the crawled over. One hand attempting to keep Chompy from getting too close. “Easy man, they’re too small for you to be roughhousing with ‘em.”

Raph and Mona laughed softly as the Box turtle made his way towards the Slider, Mona quickly picking him up and having him nestle next to his sibling. The Snapper stopped short looking up to stare at Mona, hand resting on her before he climbed over her legs. For once he had his mouth shut— and he’s back to hissing again. Mona raised a brow and chuckled, Raph sharing in it as well as Mona brought a slow and cautious clawed finger to his chin.

Gently rubbing it as he closed his mouth, it seemed as though the little fighter was attempting to stay awake. He was failing though as his body seeming to go lax, eyes closing as a tiny rumble came from him. As soon as Mona pulled her clawed finger away from his chin he seemed to wake up suddenly and pull back, hissing again. “You’re just tired aren’t you?”

The snapper sat back, staring up Mona and Raph. He closed his mouth and slowly, sleepily and grumbling small little noises, made his way to his brothers pile in Mona’s arms.

“Three down, one left.” Raph commented as he looked up to the pillow between Mikey’s legs. Before long a squeak came from the Softshell, the last one of the bunch poking his head out from between the blankets. A disgruntled look sat on his tiny face as the Box turtle gave an answering squeak from where he was buried under the sleeping Snapper and wriggling Slider. He shuffled and uncurled himself from the blanket, huffing as he fell on his butt on the cold concrete and made his way over. Mona, pulling a hand from where it was sat under her own blanket helped him up and over to his siblings. A perfect set. She rested her hand on his back, a soft ‘churr’ coming from him as Raph leant his head on her shoulder, looking over into her lap. A perfect little family.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think. We should find a place for these four to sleep for the night.” She answered softly, the little tots finally settling in and sleeping. Before anyone could comment a light snore was heard. Mikey, Mona, and Raph turned to where Donnie was now laying on the floor, one arm flat and the other resting where Chompy’s head was laying in his chest; asleep as well. Mikey wore a smug look, “Knew taking that coffee away would work. He hasn’t slept in like, two days.”

“Good. Mikey that means you’re taking him to his room.” Raph stated as he helped Mona up. Being careful of the precious cargo she held and picked up her dropped blanket as Mikey started protesting.

“Man! Why me?” He whined.

“Because you like to brag about being the muscle now, time to prove it man!” Raph joked as he followed Mona out. Chompy, now awake hearing his owners leave scampered off after them. Leaving Mikey to huff as he easily slung his brother over his shoulder and followed his family out. It took the two a moment, finding a box big enough to hold four turtles that took up a decent amount of arm space, even then they couldn’t find one suitable enough.

“We could just have them sleep with us for the night, until we find something for them tomorrow?” Mona suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s just one night, and it’s late. And you need to clean up.” She stated. Putting a knee to the bed as she gently let the boys fall into the sheets. The Slider quickly letting himself sprawl out, followed by the Softshell making moves to bury himself in the sheets to find warmth. Mona smiled at the sight, turning to look at Raph as he seemed lost for words. He caught her gaze and shared her smile

“We’ll be here waiting, ok?” Mona reassured.

Later that night after he was showered and bandaged and in sleep pant Raph came back to the sight of Mona and, his now hopeful, sons sleeping peacefully in bed. Slowly, making his way past a sleeping Chompy, he carefully made his way in bed. Laying on his front he turned his face to look at Mona and the little tots. All of them sleeping soundly here, safe and warm. With one arm tucked under his pillow he gently brought a hand out to the closest tot, gently bringing a finger to rest against the Sliders shell.

This right here, this felt like the final piece to something Raphael hadn’t dreamed of having before. A family all his own.

Yes tomorrow he’ll have to explain to Leo why he went out for a ‘patrol’ and came back with four new family members but none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was Mona, the kids, himself, and the shared space they held in their little corner of the universe. He’d grip this tightly and never let it go.

Softly the Slider turner Raph’s way and seemed to nuzzled closer to his finger.

Yeah, he wasn’t gonna let this go. Not for a long, long time.

—-

[obsidiancreates]

Power Crystal vs Power Turtle

"So this is your lab!" Donald looks around the small dimly-lit room. "Not many... power outlets?"

Donnie walks over to a pile of scraps and various parts in a box. "What? Yours is just as dim."

"Ha! It is not."

"Yes, it is, you just have neon lights everywhere."

"Yes, that light up the space."

"No, that make it look cool. But the light they provide is barely more than a phone screen, anything more than a foot away from them is completely unlit!"

"You sound like Raphie. 'Oh, Don, your eyes, you'll ruin them!' As though my Donnie-Tech contacts don't account for that."

"Well, we're a lot more used to dimness, I guess."

"... Deep inhale... I'm going to be a good person and not capitalize on that setup. What are you looking for?"

"The reason I asked you to come over to our dimension- AHA!" Donnie stands upright and turns around dramatically, holding out a pink-tinted and metal-capped cylinder. He's suddenly surrounded by rotating white-and-purple lines like fan blades as he proudly presents the item.

"... I have no idea what that is."

There's a disappointed "whap" sound, and the background behind Donnie disappears as he sags and scowls. "You could at least pretend, to be interested."

"Sorry, sorry. Ahem. OHMIGOSSSSHHHH! A PINK TUBE!!!" Donald clasps his hand together and stands on one foot, practically leaning over backwards in his exaggerated pose.

"Alright, alright!" Donnie walks over to a small metal table with a truly old computer monitor on it. "Just come over here. This, is an alien power crystal."

Now Donald's eyes do truly sparkle, and he dashes right up to the table. "What kind of alien?!"

"Our uh, squishy guys."

Donald loses his excitement. He slowly inches away from the crystal.

"It's harmless now," Donnie promises. "The Kraang haven't been seen- well, ours haven't-"

"Yours? But I thought-"

"There's one in a dimension perpetually stuck in the late Eighties we met recently, but he's an idiot and busy having marital issues with their version of Shredder."

"... Marital issues?"

"I wish that was the weirdest thing about that dimension... anyway, the point is there's no Kraang to track this, and no tech in this room that I haven't personally verified is safe. You know, relatively speaking."

"Ah, relative safety, my favorite kind. But why did you need me to come here for this?"

"I want to compare the energy this crystal outputs to the energy of your ninpo."

"... Is it because it's a similar color?"

"Wh- NO! ... Alright, maybe. BUT, that's not the only reason! I use a lot of Kraang tech in my inventions here in this dimension, and I've gotten prett-y familiar with most forms of terrestrial, foreign, or otherworldly energy through uh... various means."

Donald tries not to look at the electrical burn scars all over his counterpart's body. "So you're looking for some kind of commonality between them all?"

"Mmm, not exactly. I just want to note how they work in comparison with each other. Combining these various technologies can lead to incredible advancements, and that can lead to a lot less butt-kicking when new enemies show up."

"Well, this all sounds reasonable enough to me, let me just make a quick construct and-"

"Actually." Donnie pulls up a schematic on his monitor. "I was thinking more along the lines of this."

Donald leans in and squints. "You want me to... power things. Like a living battery."

"Well, I wouldn't have used those exact words."

"You realize using people as living batteries is usually a villain move!"

"It's not like I'm kidnapping you or want you to push your limits! I just want to see how the Shellraizer runs on this crystal versus your ninpo, and them maybe try out one or two other things a few, uh, dozen times-"

"I don't even think my ninpo works this way."

"What? Of course it does, I've seen you use it on practically all your tech! And I've seen videos of when you used your techbo!"

"Ha-ha! Ah, that wasn't ninpo. That was pure genius!"

"No it wasn't! I studied the properties of average electricity and other fuels and energies in your dimension, and there is clearly a mystical element to your tech!"

"I don't think there is."

"Donald, it's all purple. Even the fire. OBVIOUSLY IT'S MYSTIC!"

"Of course it's purple, all of my creations are! It's called branding!"

"It is purple... BECAUSE YOUR NINPO IS!"

"WHY DID THIS TURN INTO A SHOUTING MATCH!"

"OF COURSE IT DID, HAVE YOU MET ME?!?! YOUR NINPO IS PARTIALLY POWERING OVER HALF YOUR TECH!!!"

"PROVE IT!"

"FINE!" Donnie grabs the artifact off of his belt and reopens the portal. "Wait right here and don't touch anything!" He steps through.

Donald huffs, and begins snooping.

Lots of junk, lots of rusted items mixed in with unreasonably shiny chrome parts, lots of old schematics lying around. He picks up one that shows a stout android design, clearly modeled after the mutant turtles it would be surrounded by. It's a carefully preserved blueprint, and it makes Donald's heart ache.

Metalhead. Donnie has mentioned the incident, only briefly. A robotic son, lost in a fight. Just like his sweet Shelldon.

"Someday you'll both be rebuilt and can meet," he informs the blueprints. He carefully puts the blueprint away and looks around some more.

Some backpack-type devices with cable functions, clearly made for a mission of some sort based on the various implements to keep sound to a minimum, and one for each brother. There's some blueprints for various vehicles as well, a few various sensors, a box of incredibly small helmets labeled 'Spy Roach Gear' that Donald quickly puts away-

"AHHHHHH!" Donald jumps back as he looks up from the box and into a pair of disembodied eyes!

The eyes don't blink, flinch, or move at all. Donald takes in the whole... scene.

It's a large tube not unlike the one the crystal is in, but this one is filled with organs. Suspended in a frozen goo of some kind is an entire nervous system, alongside digestive and cardiovascular and... everything. A pair of lips hang suspended like the rest of the parts, attached by some kind of thin organic tube.

Donald makes a break for the portal.

Donnie steps out at the same time.

SLAM!

"OW! What the shell-!" Donnie gets up, a 2-D red vein popping up by his forehead. "What was that for?!"

"You have a pile of organs staring at you in your lab!" Donald holds his bo in a defensive position, ready to fight his way out.

"What?! You- ... oh." Donnie's eyes trail over to the tube. "No, that's not what he is."

"He?"

"He's a friend. or... I think of him as one. I don't know if he'd agree anymore." Donnie picks up the small device he'd brought over from Donald's lab.

"I've been told I struggle to grasp some societal nuances but-"

"He mutated, he lost his mind, he got frozen, and it's my fault, okay? And I'm working on figuring out how to unthaw him without hurting him or letting him loose so I can give him the retromutagen. But we're not working on that today, so drop it." Donnie holds up the device. "I'm proving to you right now that this is powered by your ninpo."

"Go ahead and try, but-"

"There." Donnie smirks as he hooks up the device to his ancient computer and types quickly on the equally ancient keyboard. "Right here, the readings match up."

"What? No. I made this when I was fourteen, it's impossible." Donald leans in to look, and his jaw drops.

"You were using your ninpo without even realizing it then. Which means... we can mix it with other technology! Think of everything we can create by combining all of this!"

Donald continues gaping. "I used my ninpo first?"

"Well, I don't really have a way to determi-"

"I WAS USING IT FIRST!" Donald cackles, picking Donnie up and jumping happily as Donnie screams. "HA! I NEED TO GO RUB THIS IN NARDO'S FACE IMMEDIATELY!"

"PUT ME DOWN FIRST- WHAAAAA!" Donnie screams as Donald uses his battleshell to absolutely blast off through the portal!

[theflowerofthecommonwealth]

Power Armor Punch Part Sixty One

Masterlist

Lucille: *isn't so sure about the routine part either. She's so used to just jumping into things without a second thought* I'll... I'll try.

Gardio: *kisses his daughter's forehead* You can do it. I believe in you.

Lucille: *questions how he's not giving her high doses of radiation every time he does something like that. Maybe she's part ghoul...?*

Gardio: I'll head down stairs and heat up my food. I'll be back up. *to Ma* Would you like me to heat up yours as well?

Ma: “Ah, that would be lovely, thank you. And you can tell Joyce that she may start baking dessert, the cookie dough is already prepped and rolled into balls. No doubt that the girl is drooling at the mouth just thinking about it.” (Remembers that Nick had just previously snapped at his daughter, maybe he needs a rest. Although, that may be difficult considering what just transpired) “I’ll go check up on them downstairs just to be sure everything is alright in the meantime, excuse me for a moment.” (Leaves to do just that)

Teshteal: *smiles and goes back to devouring his meal* Joyce: (Smiles back at her boyfriend and continues to eat as well, really trying to hold back on inhaling he macaroni and cheese)

Nick: *also saw it but isn't saying anything. He's too tired of this nonsense- as long as she's not trying to die*

Jasmine: (Fixated on the carousel with wide sparkly eyes. She’s a kitten, anything that moves and is shiny captures her attention. Anything that she deems cute as well, which is why she was staring at the rubber ducky earlier as it bobbled up and down in the water)

Donovan: (Knew this trick from their prewar days. He, Jie, and Lilac had discovered this and would purposely try to catch Jasmines attention with different objects then giggle when her eyes would go cutely wide with interest and delight)

Ma: (Walks into the guest room, pausing when she sees Donovan is up) “Donny…? Why are you here and not resting, love?”

Donovan: (Points to the bed with a sad smile, not answering the question) “Rosie likes the carousel music box, I knew she would...”

Ma: (Concerned for her son but she turns to Nick without pressing further) “How you doing there, Dad?”

Nick: I'll be honest, more than a bit worn out. *rubs the back of his head* Could use a break.

Lucille: *sits there staring at her plate. She feels so unsure... unstable. It's frightening*

Gardio: *comes downstairs. After heating his food* Ma says you can bake the cookies, now. *flashes them a smile* Teshteal: *pumps his arms into the air* Hurray! *immediately puts them on* Joyce: (Brightens up to match the energy of the sun itself) “Wonderful!” (Rushes to grab a baking tray and a silicone baking mat while Teshteal gets the dough from the fridge)

Ma: (Nods her head with a heavy sigh) “And you no doubt deserve one." (Looks to the girl hidden under the blankets) "I am willing to watch Rosalinda for you if you wish to take one.”

Jasmine: (Winds up the music box on her own when it runs out, still completely mesmerized by it as she sucks on her thumb. She doesn't appear to hear or understand what the adults are saying, otherwise she'd protest the idea of Nick leaving her)

Donovan: (Would stay as well just in case Jazzy goes ballistic again and is too much for one person to handle)

Nick: That would be swell. *slight smile but then goes back to a serious expression as he stands* Not now, but there's something I'm going to have to have you do to help keep her from losing control. *writing down something on a notepad then shows them. "Read silently- Assign you two as her 'commanders' so the words are effective on her coming from you. I trust you not to abuse this power."*

Lucille: *debating on whether or not she deserves dessert.*

Teshteal: *puts the little cookie dough on the tray in neat and spacious rows delicately* Joyce: (Making sure the oven is the right temperature and that the timer is set so the cookies don't burn)

Ma: (Goes wide eyed when she reads the note, flashing Nick an, “are you sure” look)

Donovan: (Neither him or Ma would abuse the power, he himself might not even have the guts to use it. He saw how it controls Jas, that it renders her useless. He’ll only use it if it’s a 100% case of a life or death situation, otherwise he’s taking the hard way of talking her through it. Using the Commands may control her actions, but not how she truly feels inside)

Jasmine: (Would normally have something to say about that, she hates the idea of having more handlers who can control her every move. The very idea would make her feel more trapped, more like a monster who needs to be put in chains. But it is for her own safety right now, and Nick can revoke Ma and Donny's handler status later)

Nick: *nods and writes* "Only use it if she's completely lost to the programming. Best to stick to Reset and Zero Day- those cause the least amount of harm from what I've seen... so far."

Teshteal: *slides the cookies in with a little hum, swishing his tail side to side happily* Gardio: *eating his food, watching the two bake cookies* Joyce: (Pops an extra chocolate chip in her mouth after setting the timer for about 15 minutes, grinning as she hold out another piece of chocolate to Teshteals lips for him to try)

Ma: (Hesitantly nods, hoping that it doesn’t come down to Donny or her having to use it on the poor girl)

Donovan: (Still has so many questions to ask, so many that he isn’t even sure where he would start when the time is appropriate. Probably he would start off with what exactly those vault people did to Jas, he already has an idea and it makes him shudder to think further)

 Jasmine: (Winds up her music box when it stops playing, running her fingers over the snowy white horses as they spin with the lullaby. She wishes she could ride a real carousel again, or at least see one...)

Nick: Thank you. This means a lot. *nods and walks out of the room*

Teshteal: *gets all blushy again at this gesture and takes a quick bite, being careful to grab the chocolate and not her fingers. He delights in the the taste- he hasn't had good chocolate in a while* Joyce: (Giggles cutely at this, putting her arms around Teshteals shoulders and stealing a kiss after he comes in close to take the chocolate chip) Teshteal: *squeaks in surprise but leans into the embrace* You pulled a fast one! *smirks cheesily up at her* Joyce: (Gives him a smile sweeter than the chocolate, pulling him in close) Teshteal: *smiles back. Pecks her lips cheerily then strokes her hair while he looks on at her in admiration*

Jasmine: (Blinks at the music box, almost immediately sensing that Nick is no longer sitting besides her. Her eyes widen, losing all interest in her music box)

Ma: (Frowns a bit. It would’ve been better if Nick had told his daughter he was leaving, even if she started crying it was better than her looking up and seeing that he had left without telling her. She slowly approaches the bed, noticing that the girl had shoved off her dress and kicked it to the corner) “Rosie honey….”

Jasmine: (Listens for a few seconds, then pulls back the blanket so she can peep out and confirm that Daddy has indeed disappeared from the room. Her big doe-eyes well up with more tears as she sits up with the blanket around her)

Donovan: (Hadn’t moved from his spot in the chair. He takes the music box so Jas doesn’t drop it while she moves and sets it on the ground)

Ma: (Sits on the edge of the bed, cupping the girls cheek with one hand while the other rubs her shoulder) “He’ll be back, Rosa-Marie. He hasn’t left you here alone, I promise.”

Nick: *simply sighs at the realization of his own failing. Course saying he was leaving might have made her cling to him. He can't be sure.

Jasmine: (Starts sobbing as the fear grapples her, pulling up her knees to her chin so she can hide her face in them. Crying is not enough to vent her emotions however, she lost her ability to regulate that properly long ago. So by default she goes for her wounds again, trying to scratch them)

Ma: (Gently knocks the girls hands away from her bandages, taking them in hers. It would be best to send Jas to sleep for the night, the poor girl is still fighting off her fever and feels even warmer since she was under the blanket and has been working herself up with the fighting and crying)

Donovan: (Stands and starts collecting anything sharp or anything that could be made into something sharp away so Jas can hurt herself with it. He then locks the windows so she can’t escape again, feeling like he’s baby proofing the room for a small child)

Jasmine: (Desperately reaches for the door, quietly crying out for her father to return)

Ma: “Shhh, bebita bonita- estás bien…..” (Carefully pulls Jazzy in her lap, soothing her by patting her back) “Estamos bien…..”

Nick: *Contemplates going back but decides against it. She needs to get used to him not being around. She's not a toddler*

Jasmine: (Squirms to get away from Ma as she whines at what the motherly had said) “Nooooo!!!”

Ma: (Tightens her hold on the teen) “Hm?”

Jasmine: (Brokenly) “None of that…. Please!”

Ma: (Looks a bit hurt again but she nods at the girls request)

Jasmine: (Keeps fighting to break free)

Donovan: (Glances at Jas, knowing full well she would never act like this on a normal day) “Age regression…?”

Ma: (Solemnly nods) “That’s what I was thinking… Its not much of surprise, honestly. It’s one coping mechanism, better than her harming herself.”

Donovan: “And she doesn’t like Spanish…..”

Ma: (Somber hum) “Apparently not….” (Going through a checklist of what mental disorders Jazzy has probably developed and the habits that come from it)

Nick: *Hell. Maybe they can help her snap out of this state she's in. He's not going to do her any good at this rate. Currently just pacing outside smoking and mulling things over. He knows he ought to quit but he's pretty stressed at the whole ordeal*

Gardio: *finishes his meal. He took his time. He goes back to Lucille* Lucille: *staring out the window from her bed. Watching the sea and the farm. She sighs sadly. Wonders briefly what it would be like to be swallowed by the ocean. Probably not as romantic as she briefly imagines* Gardio: Hey, sweetie. How are you doing Lucille: Thinking about the ocean. Gardio: *nods solemnly* It isn't as peaceful as you think. Lucille: I know. It's pretty deceptive. Gardio: *hums to himself* Thinking of keeping you company tonight. Lucille: Dad... no. There's no other bed. Gardio: I'll sleep on the ground on a bunch of blankets. Lucille: You'll be bone tired come morning. Plus you're a Glowing One- I'm surprised I'm not suffering from radiation sickness, yet. Gardio: Despite my glow, the radiation I passively give off isn't enough to hurt a person badly. However, you might be adapting to the wasteland, too. *shrugs* Lucille: ...I still don't think it's a good idea, especially with my ankle.

Jasmine: (Starts kicking her feet even harder as she squirms, shrieking in frustration that she can’t move much)

Ma: (Tries not to sigh out loud in exasperation, she doesn’t want Jas to think she’s being a burden. She just wants the girl to feel safe and sleep) “Why did you take off your dress, sweetheart? Is it because you’re feeling too hot? Would you like me to fetch you a lighter nightgown?”

Jasmine: (Just shrieks and cries out some more, trying to pry Ma’s arms off from around her waist)

Ma: (Patiently, tightening her hold so Jas doesn’t fall off the bed but not too much that it hurts) “I told you Rosie, your father will be back soon. I can promise you that. But for now you’ll have to wait here for him.” (To Donovan) “Hand me the cloth and water from the dresser?”

Donovan: (Does just that)

Ma: (Starts cleaning the blood off the teens hands and face, humming while she does so. She might try to clip Jas’s nails as well to keep her from further scratching herself, although she’s too erratic right now)

Gardio: Well I could always get Nick to stay the night. Lucille: *scoffs* He doesn't have the time. I'm sure he'd shut down the agency just to take care of his infant teenage daughter. Gardio: Don't judge. She's probably been through a lot more than you know. Lucille: *turns her head back towards the window with a huff. Everyone apologizes for Jas's actions except Jas herself. Not once has the teen said she's sorry for any of the pain she's caused her supposed sister. She wouldn't even stand up for her when Donovan was interrogating her back at the orphanage* Gardio: Lucille, be reasonable. Lucille: I am... I'm just tired of everything to do with Jasmine right now... even Nick. *hurts to say that but she is. Even with him bringing her back to her senses, before, she still feels distant from the old synth*

Teshteal: *cups Joyce’s cheek and takes the opportunity to kiss her deeply, tongue and all* Joyce: (Squeals with delight, opening her mouth slightly as she holds her boyfriend tightly, ruffling his hair with her fingers)

Ma: (Swaddles the girl up in a blanket so it’s harder for her to fight and possibly hurt herself. She makes sure to leave a little wiggle room so she doesn’t feel completely trapped)

Jasmine: (Weakly, tears streaming down her cheeks as her muscles relax) “N-no!”

Ma: (Starts rocking back and forth on the bed, patting the girls lower back) “Hush now, Rosie. You must be exhausted.”

Jasmine: (Brokenly) “Daddy! No….” (Since her mind is so fractured, she can’t grasp the fact that he’s not abandoning her. All she knows is that he snapped at her angrily then disappeared from the room)

Ma: (Patiently once more, wiping some hair off her face) “He’ll be back soon, dear. For now, you can rest.”

Donovan: (Sits there with his head in his hands, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that the baby had a baby. Not that Jas is an actual infant, but she’s so young and small… That plus the fact that it was mostly likely from the cause of a cruel case of rape just rubs more salt in the wounds. He’s still debating when he’ll give this information to Ma, not that it’ll ever be easy but now still doesn’t feel like the right time)

Nick: *pacing still. Trying to walk off the stress*

Gardio: Sweetheart, I'm worried about you- Lucille: I know but I'll be fine. I promise. Gardio: *frowns but quietly nods* Okay... please yell if you need me. *leaves* Lucille: *keeps staring at the sea*

Teshteal: *very much freely explores her mouth this time with his forked tongue. Eventually it wraps around hers and tries to pull on it*

Joyce: (Pulls back and pouts when the timer goes off and they have to separate, quickly putting on oven mitts so she can take out the warm tray off cookies and set it down on top of the stove)

Jasmine: (Whimpers, trying to wiggle out of the blanket but the claws of sleep are pulling her in. She doesn’t want to fall asleep, she can almost guarantee that she’ll have nightmares and is afraid of what’ll happen to her while she does so)

Ma: (Gives the girl a kiss on the head, pressing her forehead against hers while she continues to rock on the bed to lull her to sleep)

Donovan: (Telling himself not to speculate too much in this instance, it won’t do him any good right now. He just needs to focus on doing what he’s always done, and that’s looking out for his family and keeping them safe)

Joyce: (Pulls back and pouts when the timer goes off and they have to separate, quickly putting on oven mitts so she can take out the warm tray off cookies and set it down on top of the stove) Teshteal: *pouts a little but lightens up. They have all night after dessert to kiss* Joyce: (Transfers the cookies onto a rack cool down with a spatula, mouth starting to water at the gooey goodness that smells heavenly) “Mhmmm. The smell is amazing…”

Jasmine: (Starts trembling like a scared little bunny but she stops struggling, nodding off further into sleep. She’s not happy about it one bit, but she’s lost the battle…)

Ma: (Sadly smiles down at the girl as she finally settles down) “Heh. The five S’s…”

Donovan: (Snaps back into reality, rubbing his forehead) “Hm?”

Ma: (Gestures at Jas with her head) “The five S’s, for settling down crying and fussing tykes. Seems to work on this one as well.” (Goes back to assuring the teen that she’s still safe and can sleep)

Donovan: (Blinks at Jas for a moment in thought, watching as the feisty and angry kitten melt into the sweetheart he once knew who’s quietly crying from the pain she’s in, then stands and walks out of the room)

Ma: “Where are you going?”

Donovan: “To get a rocking chair for you two.” (Quickly heads into Ma’s room and picks up the spare rocking chair she keeps in there, bringing it into the guest room)

Ma: (Frowns a little, not wanting him to lift anything heavy right now but doesn’t mention it. She rises with the girl in her arms and sits in the chair, adjusting the teen so she’s snuggled up closely with the blanket still around her)

Jasmine: (Whines in confusion at the sudden movement, squirming around with some leftover energy then settles in by nuzzling up against Ma’s chest, sobbing quietly with her thumb in her mouth)

Teshteal: *thinks they look absolutely delicious. His nose twitches at the lovely smell* I could just eat them all up. *reaches out but stops* But I won't. *puts his hands back at his sides. Very slight forced smile* Gotta wait for the others! Joyce: (Nods, getting out bowls for the ice cream) “I wonder when they’ll be ready for dessert... Or if they want any at all.” (Longingly gazes at the cookies)

Jasmine: (Weakly pleas for the pain and memories to stop in her half-sleep, biting down on her thumb)

Ma: (Now that Jas is no longer moving she carefully unwraps her so she isn’t so hot and stuffy under the blanket, gently draping a sheet over both of them instead)

Jasmine: (Fearful that her dad left her just like her aunt and birth mother did- absolutely terrified at the thought that she'll have to navigate and brave the storm alone again)

Ma: "Ssh, love. You're safe here with us." (Starts rubbing the girls stomach and sides as she did earlier in a tender circular pattern, rocking in the chair to create a soothing motion)

Nick: *considering leaving Jas here with them when they make their trek to the vault, still. Her and Teshteal. It'll be too risky to take them there especially since both are susceptible to commands*

Lucille: *thinking about what Jas signed at her and winces. She still thinks the girl is right. She's had it easy compared to her... mutters to herself* Such a selfish bxtch...

Teshteal: Should I go ask...? *waves his tail up and down a little as he eyes the cookies hungrily* Joyce: (Nods her head eagerly, so hyped about dessert that she’s almost shaking and frothing at the mouth)

Jasmine: (Blubbers again when Ma does the gentle rubs, lulling her into a deeper sleep. She wont be happy at all if Nick leaves her behind to go to the vault that is a several days trip away, that's another meltdown waiting to happen)

Ma: (Quietly to herself as she rocks and massages Jas) "I’ve got her Angélica... Your baby girl is alive. She's in good hands with her father...” (Remembering her late friend, thinking about how grateful she would be that her daughter made it through the bombs. She'd be heartbroken that the girl had to endure so much terror to get here, but also mighty proud that she got this far)

Jasmine: (Tries to nestle herself even closer to Ma by pressing her face above the neckline of her dress after moving it to the side slightly so she can hear her heartbeat and feel her skin. She’s craving the sense of protection and warmth close contact to another person brings that she was deprived of for so long)

Ma: (Smiles down at the teen, not minding one bit as she continues to rub her stomach and lower back)

Jasmine: (Hums softly in content, sucking her thumb as she breathes in sync with Ma and listens to her rhythmic heartbeat. Her free hand grips the motherly woman's dress to further secure herself)

Donovan: (Almost starts shedding some tears again as he witnesses this, swearing that he'll gut the bastards that dared to hurt the sweet and precious little girl. If he hadn’t lived for so long and had witnessed firsthand how cruel people are capable of being he’d question how they would have the guts when she looks so innocent)

Lucille: *wonders if she should just leave for 88. After that blow up, she doubts they'll ever be on good terms again. It would be doing everyone a favor and at least she'd be alive...*

Teshteal: *nods and bounds over to Gardio who's checking the fire* Dessert? Gardio: *blinks, processing what he's asking* Sure. *gets up to grab some cookies and icecream* Joyce: (Opens the freezer and pulls out a large container of homemade Neapolitan ice cream, quickly fetching a scoop from the drawers)

Gardio: *to Teshteal* Check if Lucille wants a cookie please. *smiles when he notices the neopolitan* Oh, how did they make this? *admiring the fact they even have it out in the wasteland. Then again. It's a miracle their house looks like one right from before the war.

Donovan: (Stands and starts undoing Jas’s bed, swapping out her slightly bloodied sheets for fresh ones) Ma: (Takes a damp rag with one hand and dabs it on the back of Jazzy’s neck and shoulders to keep her cool, carefully tossing her loose curls back so she’s not smothered under them) Jasmine: (Asleep, but still partly aware of her surroundings as she dreams of nothing. She can feel the cool rag on her skin along with the motion of her back being rubbed)

Teshteal: Sure thing, boss! *climbs up to the attic* Lucille? You want any dessert? Lucille: ...No. I don't deserve it. Teshteal: Oh boy... *heavy huff. Tries to put on the charm* You sure? It's really good! The cookies are fresh~! Lucille: Save them for someone who isn't some selfish brute. Teshteal: *frowns and looks down. He's not going to keep pressing. Just goes downstairs to ask Donovan and Ma if they want any dessert. He feigns a smile so they don't worry about anyone else than Jasmine*

Donovan: (Fluffs up the sheets on Jas’s bed so it’s nice and comfy for when they tuck her in later)

Ma: (Raises her head from the top of Jazzy’s when Teshteal comes into the room, smiling warmly at him) “Hello dear, how are you holding up?”

Donovan: (Turns around, also giving a friendly but tired smile at Teshteal)

Jasmine: (Sniffles and shuffles a little with a small cry)

Ma: (Shushes her and keeps rubbing her back and stomach, rocking the chair a bit more)

Teshteal: Just fine. Would either of you like dessert? *maintains his false smile the entire time he's there, only letting it drop when it seems appropriate*

Joyce: (Starts scooping ice cream for herself, offering Gardio the scoop when she’s done) “We get a shipment of prewar produce and ingredients from some vaults that grow them. I’m not sure about the details though, you’ll have to ask Ma or Donny about that.” Gardio: Too bad you can't grow your own... *smiles as he takes the spoon and scoops two large piles of multiflavored icecream into the bowl* It's been quite a while since I've had icecream. Joyce: “Yeah, they require a special and specific kind of care that you can only really find in vaults. I’m pretty sure these vaults that this stuff comes from are very exclusive about who gets what.” (Shrugs her shoulders, taking three cookies) “But Mama has her ways, and I’m grateful for that because this food is heavenly.” (Her emerald green eyes widen with delight as they fixate on her bowl)

Donovan: “Oh… We didn’t even eat our dinner yet.” (Glances at Ma who won’t be able to eat until after she’s done holding Jas)

Ma: (Waves her hand at her son while dampening the cloth again) “Go on down and eat, love. I think we’re fine in here for now.” (Rests her head back on top of Jazzy’s)

Jasmine: (Settles down and goes back to breathing evenly against Ma’s chest, her fingers tightening on her house dress)

Donovan: (Might just grab his food and come on back up here, he rather stay close to the two. Although, he still wants to check up on Joyce, he doesn’t doubt she’s still upset about what she witnessed earlier)

Teshteal: Alright! *scampers out. He would go back to the kitchen but he wonders where his possum toy is so he looks for that*

Donovan: (He walks over to give his mother a kiss on the head, then gently pets Jazzy’s hair) “I’ll be back soon, call if you need anything.” (Leaves downstairs)

Lucille: *still laying in bed. If she wasn't convinced Jas hated her before, that blow up really proved her right. Maybe Patriot was right when he wrote his note before his death. Mutters* Monster...

Gardio: Very. *nods then after a moment of silently eating their cookies and icecream* You and Teshteal seem to have gotten really close. How's that been so far?

Joyce: (Was stuffing her face with a cookie that had ice cream slathered all over it) “Oh, It’s been wonderful-…” (Stops short when her older brother walks into the kitchen, setting down her spoon)

Donovan: (Smiles at the two, giving a kind nod to his sister) “Hey JoJo…” (Notices her expression and his face fills with concern, opening his arms)

Joyce: (Scratch that about what she said about feeling fine, because within seconds she’s bolting across the kitchen to tackle Donny in a hug with tears in her eyes)

Donovan: (Wraps her up in a tight embrace) “Are you alright? You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

Joyce: (Muffled in his shoulder) “Did YOU get hurt!” (Still shook at the fight she witnessed, followed by gunshots and a brief glimpse of the girl covered in blood)

Teshteal: *suddenly remembers Nick and runs out to ask him* Want any dessert? Nick: *looks up from his thoughts* Hm-? No, thank you. I'm a little busy thinking- Teshteal: Okay! *runs back in and looks for his plushie*

Lucille: *pulling on a loose wire in her arm. She winces. Tells herself she deserves this pain. It's the least she can do to atone for her crimes*

Gardio: *blinks at the sudden change of her mood. Feels like he didn't gage the situation right. Then again, a friendly chat is usually a nice distraction from a recent scary situation*

Donovan: (Pats her back assuredly) “I’m fine, it’s nothing I have not felt before."

Joyce: (Shakes her head) “There were gunshots!! The window broke!”

Donovan: (Winces at the reminder of what Jas tried to do to herself) “They weren’t aimed or meant for me, she wasn’t trying to hurt me…”

Jasmine: (Whines and squirms at the bad memories coming at her while she tries to rest off her fever and injuries) Ma: “Shhh, little one. You’re safe and sound here. (Rubs her with a little more pressure just to help assure her, singing one of Jas’s lullabies to soothe the girl) “A la nanita nana, nanita ella nanita ella. Mi niña tiene sueño bendito sea, bendito sea….” Jasmine: (Melts once her fractured mind refocuses on the sweet lullaby and the comforting warmth from her skin. She misses her Dad terribly still, she rather be in his arms right now. But he's gone- he just evaporated into thin air)

Teshteal: *finds his stuffed possum. It's so much fluffier and soft now and he can't help but give it a big hug because of that* Possum! *smiling like a giant child*

Lucille: *tears up. With each pull, she sends a shockwave of pain shooting through her shoulder. She briefly entertains that this is what Jasmine wants- for her to suffer. Even if it's not true*

Gardio: *stands* I can help with your injuries, Donovan. *walks over and sets a hand on the other ghoul's shoulder. He shuts his eyes and focuses, releasing a burst of radiation through his hand and over the other ghoul*

Joyce: (Steps back while this happens, sniffling on her tears as she eats her ice cream)

Donovan: (Immediately starts to feel much brighter and stronger, his headache disappearing) "Whew, thank you! That feels much better." (Grateful smile)

Nick: *might stay out there till morning. He needs more than a couple hours away from Jas* Jasmine: (Keeps sucking on her thumb, sleeping like an angel child for now. At least until her nightmares and unstable mind become too much for her to handle again and she starts flaring around) Ma: (Looking out the window, continuing to sing the old Spanish lullaby since it seems to help Jazzy as she holds the fragile girl and hopes she stays fast asleep until her father returns) “Fuentecita que corre clara y sonora. Ruiseñor que en la selva cantando llora. Calla mientras la cuna se balancea. A la nanita nana, nanita ella….”

Lucille: *gets to the point where she's crying from the pain she's inflicting on herself. She soon has to stop or risk damaging the connection of the wire. She's not going to get any sleep thanks to this... not that she thinks she deserves sleep*

Teshteal: *comes back in, clutching his possum friend in his arms, its paws sticking out on top of them. Notices Joyce crying and freezes* Oh- Did something happen? *slowly and timidly walks over to his girlfriend*

Donovan: (Wraps his arms back around Joyce to comfort her, giving Tehsteal a somber look) “She’s just a little scared about earlier….”

Joyce: (Poor girl isn’t used to violence like this, the more complicated and deeper kind where emotions are entangled into the mix)

Teshteal: *looks down at his stuffed toy* I know it's not much but... *holds it out to Joyce with both hands* You can hold him if it helps. He helped calm me down when I was scared sometimes. *smiles*

Joyce: (Takes the stuffed possum with a small chuckle of gratitude at her boyfriend) “Thank you…”

Donovan: (Plays with some of Joyce’s golden hair, pecking a kiss on her forehead) “Although, I suppose we are all rattled.” (Pats her back) “Don’t worry about hiding it for the sake of everyone else...”

Joyce: (Goes back to hugging her older brother tightly while with clutching the possum, crying a little more. Donny and Ma are the first people she met who were kind to her, who sheltered her and became her only family. She can’t imagine what she would do if one of them suddenly died…)

Teshteal: *wraps his arms around Joyce from behind to give her a hug, turning this into one big group hug. He rubs his cheek on on the back of her head into her hair*

Joyce: (Chuckles again as she’s incased into one giant hug, humming softly)

Donovan: (Gives a quick pat on Teshteals shoulder in thanks of watching out for Joyce earlier, then goes back to petting her hair)

Dogmeat: (Comes trotting up the stairs to the attic, going straight up to Lucille and whining with big puppy eyes. He starts trying to sniff her, putting is front paws on the bed)

Lucille: *quietly without looking at him* Don't worry about me, boy... I'll be fine. Go back down stairs and play with Pirate...

Pirate: (Already upstairs as well, whining with concern and doing soft little woofs) Dogmeat: (Sniffs the air where Lucille’s arm should’ve been, looking back at Pirate as if to say, “Yo, she’s being a liar! We just heard her cry out in pain.” He then jumps down from the bed to go snitch on Lucille by alerting Nick as that’s what he’s used to doing) Pirate: (Follows him downstairs and out of the doggy door into the night) Dogmeat: (Trots up to Nick, barking with urgency while pawing at the pacing detective)

@lucilleandherrobots

[rottmnt-honeybea]

The Birthday Deal

Summary: Donnie just can't believe Q.B. didn't want to celebrate her birthday with them. And Q.B. can't believe Donnie won't just drop the conversation.

A/n: I wrote this blurb, but realized it doesn't fit into the Mystic Library episode very well, sooo I cut it. But, I liked it, and will reference it in a future chapter, so I decided to just post it here as a short one-shot. Don't expect this to become the norm.

"I can't believe you never told us about your birthday!" Donnie huffed as he sat back in his chair.

"Donatello, I just didn't want to celebrate it, that's all." Q.B. didn't look up from the motor she was fixing. "Besides, you've had access to my personal information since before we met."

"Which you very rudely asked me to stay out of and I very graciously obliged." Donnie pointed out.

That got her to look at him. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you hear yourself when you speak?"

"As it stands, you do realize this now means we have to celebrate with an even bigger party." Donnie returned to his work, unable to handle her unshakable gaze. Shelldon's ungraded motors weren't going to fix themselves.

"Absolutely not." Q.B. scoffed.

"Absolutely yes." Donnie countered.

"Donatello. No." Q.B. continued to shake her head as she returned to his work.

"Quinn. Yes—," Donnie dodged the screwdriver that was thrown at him with scary precision. He turned back to the other mutant, mouth agape in shock.

"When someone says 'no', they mean 'no'." She snarled at him. She got up from her seat and walked over. "So, to reiterate," she bent down and picked up the screwdriver. When she stood up, she pointed the phillips head at him, "N-O."

Donnie swallowed hard, his mouth dry, and watched as she returned to her seat. She returned to her work in silence. A million thoughts raced through Donnie's mind, but nothing tangible he could grasp or act on.

That was the scariest, cutest, craziest thing ever. Why wouldn't she just let them celebrate? Did she not like her birthday? When did her aim get that good? Note to self, no more sharp objects in Bea's hands while talking to her. Addendum: Stinger could be the exception if in battle. Addendum to the addendum: so long as that battle is not against him. Or his brothers.

"I can feel you looking at me." Q.B. muttered.

"Why not?" Donnie blurted out. Q.B. raised her eyebrows but said nothing. She was forcing him to explain himself. "Why not celebrate your birthday?"

Q.B. scoffed irritably. "What's to celebrate?" She grumbled to herself.

That hurt. Donnie frowned. "Everything?" Q.B. paused and turned to look at him curiously. Feeling he had to explain himself (again), Donnie continued, "We...never really celebrated our birthdays growing up." They didn't even know about birthdays until April had mentioned them. "So, now we go all out." He couldn't look at her. Not when her eyes suddenly turned sad and looked at him with pity. So, he turned back to his motor. "Just wanted to celebrate."

Q.B. was quiet, but Donnie could see in his peripheral that she wasn't working. "I can feel you looking at me." He sighed.

Q.B. turned and looked at the motor in her hands. "I didn't want to celebrate this birthday." She clarified. Donnie continued to work. "It....it was my first birthday without my family. My first birthday like...this." Her lower hands gestured to herself. "And then Raphael dragged me to fight Meat Sweats, and I just wanted to be alone and..." Now she was rambling. Donnie looked at her.

Q.B. trailed off and looked back at him expectantly.

"Well," Donnie sniffed haughtily before he stood up and walked over to her, "That just means you owe me a birthday." Q.B. looked at him confused as he took her finished motor and held both motors up triumphantly. "You better be ready, Q.B. Santos because next year we are throwing you the biggest, loudest, most grand celebration of life ever." With every adjective he added, he climbed onto a taller surface. First a nearby box (full of totally valuable junk, and NOT garbage, thank you very much), then a chair, and finally a table.

Q.B. blinked twice, then her snout scrunched up and she laughed. She stood up and flew to meet his height. Her upper hands took the motors from him and passed them down to her lower hands. Then, her upper hands grabbed his hands and formally shook them once. "Hamato Donatello, you've got yourself a deal."

[princesspuresarahk]

ROTTMNT FanFic

Lost and Found by Bug and Queenie

Warning for dark scenes and language.

"Guys, are you seeing this?" She called out pointing to the direction not far from them causing everyone to turn towards where April was pointing at eyes and just slightly lightning with her same expression. It was a building but what was it doing all the way out here? Are there goes getting closer and naming their lights the notice the building was crumbled up a bit but still in good condition with some areas being made of strong breaking concrete but one had a really huge hole in it like something exploded it from the inside creating an opening there for something to get in or get out it was barely noticeable due to the fun and foliage covering it with old vines, moss and weeds growing all over the place even a treat found halfway inside whatever happened it must have been abandoned a decade ago or more so. “Wow, I never knew buildings could be built all the way out here?" Mikey awed but it still kind of gave him the creeps like one of those old scary places that you don't want to go to yet curiosity gets you kind of thing where you do it's something scary is there. "I highly find it impossible Mikey but based on its former structure I believe construction was set up to suit the environmental area." Donnie replied his curiosity rising on this mysterious building “Well let’s stop standing around it and just figure out what’s inside!” Leo hopped out of the boat and onto the ground to enter the building. “Leo wait! We don’t know what’s in there!” Raph called out and immediately followed after Leo. The building did look pretty suspicious and Raph wants everyone to stay close.

Quickly fell carefully stepping on a boat onto the opening of the building while April set off the engine and tossed the anchor in "hey guys wait for us" jumping in after them the 9 passengers eyes widened in curiosity and confusion as they got a good look inside everything looks like it was crumbled like something bad happened inside there was computers everywhere research lab areas for many corner many books doors that have led to halls and areas lot of papers everywhere burn marks looking like a fire happened a long time ago plants were breaking across in the areas within the rebel "come on let's have a look around!" Leo continued as he started to look all over the place the other turtles cautiously Donnie was curious about some of the old files and books lying about as he looked through them he noticed that some of the files contained biographies and biology of some of the native species of the area along with some different species from across the world, there was even some full ones about different turtle species. Some he recognized that they were. from species of red-eared slider, snapping turtle, soft shell and box turtle even some exotic species from Indian peacock, spotted pond, yellow spotting and Japanese pond, he also knew the small notes they were a bit faint to see but he could make out along the lines of 'breeding'….blank….. 'Experimental mix'…. blank ..and…look for possible crossbreed possible repopulation'..blank..subject..TM04? “Guys come look!” Donnie called out to them. “What is it, Donnie?” Raph asked as he approached behind Donnie. “All these species listed here… are our species!” Donnie said with fear and shock in his voice, he felt a chill go down his spine. “See?! Look! Snapping turtle that’s you, Raphael! A-and soft shell is me! And you Mikey and you too Leo! It’s all on here!” Donnie stuttered and rambled. “WHAT?!” All three of them looked at the papers along with Donnie. Donnie was still able to comprehend what was going on. “This doesn’t any make sense…” Donnie said to himself as he paced around the room, thinking hard and talking out loud to himself.

Continuing to look through the boys continue to explore as they reach the end of the hall Mikey noticed something in one of the old rooms nearest to them something stood off about that room he didn't know but.. but it felt like there was some big secret that room slowly pushing it back the door in erie creek as he made a peek suddenly his eyes widen and I confusion as he whispered "ohmegosh! Hey bros think you really need to see this.." he called quietly but loud enough to get their  attention "hey what's up Mike you look a little spooked." Raph asked curious about what caught Mikey's attention "Yeah little bro you look a little pale and green" commented Leo any noticed the look in Mikey's eye showing that he looked a little worried "Mike.. what is it..?" Slowly to show his point Mikey gently pushed the door open as the eerie creaking of the door widened as did the boy's eyes what they saw before them behind that door laid a haunting image for within it was an extremely large filled with torn and empty cages and tanks all around but what troubled them was how the way they looked they were all damaged as if something horrible happened cages looks like they were torn open from the inside Glass broken everywhere pieces of metal burnt wood rubble all over the place and what looks to be like paw and claw marks that looked to be years old scratched on the walls and old dark stains that they hope didn't look like blood?

Now this place was really starting to give them the creeps find them they could hear April walking up to them when she let out a gasp "Oh my gosh what happened in here? It's like some kind of destruction occurred maybe some kind of big fight happened to cause all this?" There were old aquariums and tanks shattered broken with glass and strange stains on the ground everywhere that looked like… She wasn't sure how to say it… But for some odd reason, they almost looked like footprints and handprints but they weren't human. The adults shortly followed after the kids and saw the catastrophe that swept this room. For some strange reason, this all looked very familiar to Drax then he finally remembered and his face grew pale. He looked extremely guilty right now as if he was there or was the one who caused it. “Hey, Drax? Why does your face look so extremely pale and guilty?” Leo asked. Drax kept quiet, he didn’t wanna tell them. They just NOW finally started accepting him and Drax didn’t want them to hate him again or even more than they already do. “You know something, don’t you?!” Donnie asked. Everyone turned back to Draxum to face him; he had the dance floor now but didn’t want to dance.

"uh, I'm fine no need to worry Leo I'm just a little disturbed by the aura of this place." He replied hoping to find a way to change the subject in this haunting place that seems so familiar to him. Thankfully the subject did change Mikey called out "Hey everyone me and Don found something on one of the computers that seems to be still working!" He pointed over where some of the computers were "Indeed Michael and I found what seem to be piles and according to the database we're around 16-17 years ago." Curious they watched just Donny open the first file revealing a video diary to a Dr. Augustus J.Aelia zoologist and biologist of B.R.I.D.E Breeding and Resource Intelligence of Defense Environment.

Everyone gathered around to see what was playing on the computer and watched the video diary. ‘Oh no! I hope this doesn’t give away too much information!’ Draxum thought to himself as he watched the video in fear.

The sound of the recording could be heard showing a middle-aged man of South Asian descent.

1st Video 11:58 AM

"Ello? Testing, testing 1 2 3 diary entry 1 greetings I am Dr. Aelia one of the head scientists of B.R.I.D.E and today we are searching for breeding programs to help restore species of environmental danger and involve the research of their intelligence and genetics. With some of our four main subjects (suddenly a video came up revealing the doctor) TM01 (showing an alligator) TM02 (Puma) TM03(a raccoon dog?) and at last (he whispers) my favorite TM04 (turning to the camera to reveal a small lovely aquarium revealing a very unusual little turtle she had a soft shell soft green tone with little speckles, red markings against her eyes) the doctor returned the camera looking at him smiling proudly "isn't she beautiful TM04 is quite a rare gem in this lab she was born with four traits of different species of Testudines, well except the snapping turtle species which I can't seem to find any trace of even though it's in her dna (he chuckles) anyway it's going to be quite an adventure with these four with the rest of the animals in our research facility." Ended the first video making everyone curious.

2nd video

Another video shows up "Greetings this Dr. Aelia research seems to be going very well all of the subjects are in good health and the small exercises we give them have improved and have shown surprise intelligence from time to time from their reaction to their dietary in foods, temperature changes and reactions to certain sounds as if their senses have risen to make them aware." "subject TM04 or Leonora as I have given the name to her after one of my favorite artists, has shown quite unusual but fascinating behavior than a turtle is usually used to acting it's as if she could understand whatever I'm talking about the subject that they will be testing today I checked her fertility levels and it shows that she has reached the right age maturity and could be ready to go into breeding soon we will be assigning her to the first male tomorrow and we'll see how it all goes well."

3rd video "oh dear goodness oh dear goodness I shouldn't have left her alone in that tank oh dear we brought subject TM04 to the breeding tank in a separate area until a male was chosen to mate with when me and the other scientist left to assemble and check on the other subjects we didn't expect the other males to break throughout the other barriers and oh dear (the sound of sadness in his voice) we didn't expect them to act so aggressive this was so unusual behavior and to..oh dear..gang up on her." Guilt be seen in his eyes " thankfully one of the scientists was able to find them just in time the hours she must have been in that situation this is unusual turtle behavior the poor girl she had a few cuts and bruises but thankfully we were able to patch her up and get her back to her tank and get her the medicine she needs to heal dear I cannot believe this happend to a sweet little turtle like her for now we are sending the males away finding them too dangerous for TM04 just don't get why they became so aggressive like that? It doesn't make any sense? How awful it is and now TM04 had hidden herself in her burrow and hidden herself within her shell refusing to come out. the experience must've terrified the poor thing (the camera pointed to the tank where a log burrow showed the same turtle hiding within her shell and by noticing very closely as if it was shaking) the doctor let a sigh "Hopefully subject TM04 will be all right all I could do now is pray that she'll be able to be recover."

4th video "This is Dr.Aelia I have good news TM04 seems to have recovered from the 'accident' and is slowly coming out of her burrow more it's truly wonderful as a special treat we gave her, her favorites and looks to be eating and drinking well I'm so happy she's feeling better we're going to have a couple of more checkups on her from time to time just to make sure she is doing well and continue observing her behavior.

5th video "All is well for all the subjects they have been behaving very well with the experiments and test all are healthy it seems to show our behavior from time to time whenever we're around working in the lab all their eyes seem full of curiosity and emotion? As if they are showing interest in what we do they seem to like to listen whenever we read through our files and papers and then occasional book experiment with this further whenever we have to leave the lab we'd sometimes turn on the television as a form of entertainment for them and it seems that they find it fascinating I'm liking certain channels showing interesting subjects in the human world we even caught signs of them looking at each other from different cages and as if they seem to be having a conversation with one another silently whenever something interesting appears on the TV it makes me wonder what they would say if they could talk?"

The 6th and 7th videos discuss the same processes of the subjects of the experiments and how they are each doing very well the strange curiosities appearing more often than in the 8th video came with unexpected surprise news from the Dr. "splendid news oh such splendid news we were giving TM04 a daily week checkup and the most amazing discovery has happened oh joy it seems to appear that TM04 is expecting! About maybe from what we estimate two to three weeks? They aren't sure how many she is carrying but it's going to be such a splendid event to come we'll have to observe her more often during her condition as we are unsure how long this will take as she is a mix of different species who knows how long it could take until she gives birth. It could be many weeks or even a year or two until then we will continue to observe till the day comes."

The 9th 10th 11th and 12th videos discuss the same processes of the subjects of the experiments and how strange TM04's pregnancy is seemingly taking longer than a normal turtle pregnancy observing her diet and habits.

13th video "good news TM04 had given birth after a couple of months of constant observation and careful testing she had finally given birth to a single egg and goodness it's quite a big little one if I do say so myself it must have happened during the night while we all slept we could tell that she was showing signs of giving birth any day now we didn't expect it would happen last night and the sweet girl looked pretty tired it still fascinates me how long her pregnancy took to accomplish this almost complete 9 months like a human mother would do when growing a child and shows unusual behavior for a turtle having to seem to stay by her egg most of the time we even found a nest she must've built on her own to keep her egg safe fascinating but unusual behavior?"

14th video "unexpected news TM04 she's showing signs of pregnancy again! And after some testing, it's assumed that she's carrying two this time! First egg hasn't hatched yet but still waiting and observing!" 15th video "It has happened again she has given birth this time it happened early this morning just as we were waking up to a pair of two eggs the poor thing looks so tired again but seems to be all right who knew carrying twins could take a toll in the little lady like her but a job well done!" 16th video “The eggs seem to be in good health we will be color coding to determine their date of birth and age. For the first, we marked it with red the 2nd and 3rd blue and purple we expect her to be caring again will we be ready to mark."

17th video "Another baby is on the way many blessings for this little turtle for this was quite a surprise the eggs are doing well and she is doing well all is well in the lab." 18th video “We got quite a little scared today TM04's egg came early unexpectedly because it looks like she had a bit of a difficult birth it seems to be all right we took her out for a checkup and all is well she's just a bit tired and from what we examined it looks like this will be her last egg, for now, we have carefully marked the littlest one orange and together with the other three eggs all in good health.

19th video “TM04 is doing so well these past few days even happier it's the way I can explain it as we observe her behavior towards her hatchlings watching over them and caring for them in this unusual way but I can't help but see how precious it is seeing the proud mother she has become, how she gently places leaves over them sleeps by them during the night and just looks at them all the time and making sounds as if she were talking to them it's so fascinating makes me wonder on the days that they'll finally hatch and what new beginnings will bring to this research.? This is Dr. Aelia turning in for the night will record if anything happens in due time.

20th Video "This is Dr.Aelia I'm afraid there's been some concerning news lately the animals have been at unease lately and so have the other researchers we don't know but I'm afraid something bad is going to happen I don't know why but I hope this feeling passes over I don't know what we do something happened to the animals and one of my researchers have been acting strange lately during this time as if they are hiding something they know something about this weird behavior lately I might have to investigate and question his behavior.."

21th Video "oh dear lord…how could you do this.. how can you do this to all our animals all our research?… How long has he been hiding this from us..? How can he inject that stuff into them without our knowledge..? Is… That's the reason for their odd behavior and signs of higher intelligence I do not know but we are going to demand more answers from him what he did was cross the line! And the possible risk that I could affect everyone! the animals! him! including myself! I do know he is hiding more than he seems we will further investigate this oh dear I may fear that we are all in danger for what he has done….!" 22nd video “We are all in danger! I'm afraid and we must evacuate the lab get all our subjects out of here for something happens we will get everything settled tonight I sent most of the scientists and researchers away except for a few and the one who caused all of this to repent for his misdeeds and hopefully make up for what he has done but right now we're running out of time now we need to act…we… Wait.. something's happening I don't know.. whatever it is it's not good… There's a commotion going on outside… Oh dear they're forcing their way inside..dear Lord…oh no!.."

Everyone watched in shock as they watched all of the videos simultaneously. The ones who were most shocked were the turtles; Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael. Everything the doctor has said and shown sounds too much like them. To the eggs, the species name, the features; it was too close to them. What shocked them the most was that they had a mother and that they were born in this place! Where is their mother now? Nobody knows not even them! Hopefully, they will find more answers as they keep watching.

23rd Video "…….cough…cough… This is..is..Dr…Dr… Augustus..J…Aelia..(the sound of painful groaning could be heard).. and I'm afraid this is the last video ever recorded..I..cough.. everything is.. cough..gone.. they came out of nowhere.. they looked furious.. whatever creatures they are… (More coughing and painful groaning).. their leader looks the most furious… I have no idea what they are or where they came from…(sound of tears can be heard).. but they were after the scientist who started all of this and what's the cause… Of the destruction.. it seemed that he stole something from these creatures… And was using it to experiment on our subjects… As he tried to run with it… Away from them but the leader… cough sniffles.. look the term they get to him fired at him with this strange magic best way to get to describe it.. making the strange dark plants reach to grab them but in the process, it caused to explode on the building.. when it missed him oh dear Lord it hurts… The animals were in danger.. we were able to get some of them out of the cages but the others were stuck ..and.. during the commotion the leader of the creatures.. he killed the one he was after.. not before the strange containment he was holding.. this.. strange green liquid.. exploded on the impact covering everything including all the animals it..it I still can't believe it.. it started to change them in a rapid rate causing them to grow…(crying could be heard as the doctor tried to put himself together to continue).. becoming more mutant more human… It was like an amazing event happening.. the fire the fire it was going to kill them and the destruction of the building… I couldn't let them die!.. in an effort I grabbed one of the weapons that those creatures must have dropped and used it to break a wall out of the building to free them.. out into the depths of the swamps and forest.. so they could be free and let it decide their fate… They were all running for freedom.. all except for one TM04.. Leonora… Her aquarium fell to the ground she was changing but she wasn't fleeing… She was.. she was trying to save her eggs.. trying to save her children as any mother would do.. she was trying to drag them out from what was left of her nest.. everything was in slow motion.. the pain.. the worry.. the desperate in her eyes…

“What happens next?! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!” Mikey aggressively shook the computer while tearing up, he was dying to know what happened, and he demanded ANSWERS! “MIKEY!! Stop SHAKING IT!! You might break it!!” Donnie shouted as he pulled Mikey away from the computer. “There might be something else! Let’s keep watching.” Donnie added while holding Mikey back. (The doctor’s crying could be heard he sounded so heartbroken trying to continue the story)

“.. but she was running out of time it was too late.. she didn't know the part building was about to collapse.. it was going to kill her or the fire…cough… If she didn't get her eggs in herself out of there I couldn't help her I was trapped in the commotion(heavy painful coughing could be heard now).. she was going to die… There was nothing I could do.. but she was saved… She was saved by Iggy… He grabbed her… With his hands… Leonora… The look on her face when she was pulled away… She was trying to reach back to them…she was reaching… Reaching out toward her eggs… Trying to go back but it was too late… The debris collapsed… It blocked her from reaching them… The fires were getting bigger… They couldn't stay… I witnessed their escape… I witness them disappearing into the night… And… I witness.. I witness hearing her first words… The first words she screamed into the night… The desperate screams of a mother's tears!… In one of the cameras that were salvaged, I managed to find.. it was able to catch those words… For evidence, I will show you to hear.. as living proof before I am gone… For whoever finds this… Please let them know… At these creatures have living souls and are the most incredible miracles I saw… May God be with them out in that endless dark swamp plains.. hiding and may never be forgotten…" Static could be heard throughout the video as it was showing the sounds recorded the moment the animals were escaping a sound of fire and explosion and horrible sounds nobody should hear but near the end of that recording two words could be heard that brought silence to everyone in that dark room a sound they never thought they would hear in their lifetime in a blurring sound they could hear clear words in the distance of a distressed female voice screaming!

"MMMMYYYY BAaaaaBbbbbiiiieeeessss!!!!!!"

The old computer started to glitch causing the recorded words to scream and repeat as the four Brothers repeatedly heard the cry of someone they never knew would exist in their lives! Making them question who she was? was..was this turtle..their mother..? Everyone who was watching was tearing up, the boys, Splinter, April, and even Gargoyles teared up. Everyone except Draxum, shut his eyes tight and looked away in shame. hearing her cry once again was just as painful as the first time. To think that was the first time they ever heard their mother and the last…

The constant repeating screams of his mother rang in Raph’s ears, he couldn’t take it anymore! He screams out loud and smashes the computer out of frustration. It was all… too much for him. He panted heavily and his palms shook and then looked at his palms crying. This was all too, too much to take in. "Guys…was..that ?" Mikey whispered tears slowly falling from his eyes, Donnie felt tears from his eyes without realizing it Leo was trying not to shed his.. they were all shocked by this revelation "wa..she.." Mikey tried to continue… But it was hard.

April hugs Mikey to comfort him, she knows this was extremely hard for him, for ALL of them. “It’s ok… you don’t have to force it out.” She said as she held Mikey close as she petted him on the head. Mikey cried into her shoulder. Everyone was speechless even Draxum but he knew he couldn’t keep his mouth shut forever. He had to eventually tell them the truth.

“Yes, she was your mother…” Draxum finally speaks. Everyone looked back at him. “I would know… because I was there.”

He has to tell them the truth, even though they might hate him for it. "Barry what are you saying..?" April questioned as did the others the Gargoyles realized what their boss was saying and they knew now coming back in their memories that this was the place where he found the turtles so long ago but it was lost in memory over the years long forgotten and that the reason was due to Draxum was tracking down a thief who stole some of his research and mutagen from him remembering how their boss was furious that day and spent months to almost years tracking that scientists down to retrieve what was his! Looking at each other they knew that they better help their boss explain all of this even if they knew it could ruin the turtle's relationship with the Yokai as he sadly explains the events that took place all those years ago "about 16-17 years ago a human thief broken into my lab stealing my research..and in my fury towards humans I was on the hunt for blood…"

As he carefully explained every word to the turtles that he was unaware of the lab scientist was hiding mostly remembering going to take back what was his unaware of the other scientists and the animals within with how the mutagen exploding in the chaos it would bring and… How he found the turtles still hatchlings unaware their mother's fate but he heard that scream within the chaos unknown that it would come back to haunt him… This was hurting him so much on the inside trying to explain all of this… “YOU BASTARD!! YOU THE ONE WHO TOOK MOM FROM US!!” Raph shouted as he punched Draxum in the stomach tears streamed down his face. “HOW COULD YOU DRAXUM?!” Mikey cried. He looked so hurt by saying those words. The turtles were visibly upset and heartbroken. They had a mom this whole time and Draxum kept quiet about it. For YEARS they thought they had no origin and that they came out of nothing but knowing they had a mother who cared for them and loved them hurts them so much. What hurt even more was now she was gone and it was all Draxum’s fault.

Draxum couldn't help but let them take their anger out on him knowing and feeling he deserved it. He winced slightly when Raph punched him in the jaw hard! Barry hissed in slight pain gently touching his face he found blood dripping out knowing it was going to leave a pretty nasty bruise on him later "You have a right to be angry with me and I couldn't be more ashamed of myself than I am now it gives me no excuse for what I was done all those years ago I was blinded with my fury for humans that I became unaware that I would take away from a person you never got to meet I'm so sorry boys…" Shadows cover his face showing the guilt in his eyes.

Sorry wasn’t enough. Cause of him they will never know who she truly was. She could be missing or dead! But they will never know and they never had the chance to say goodbye. “Don’t EVER fucking talk to us again!” Leo said in between his clenched teeth. Angry tears streamed down his face and all of their faces. They had nothing else to say so they walked out of the room with April. The only ones who stayed were the gargoyles and Splinter. “And to think there was redemption in you… Tch! Turns out I was wrong.” He clicked his tongue and then looked away. Splinter may forgive him for turning him to a rat and giving him his boys but he could not forgive him for ripping them out of a mother’s arms. Splinter left too now only the gargoyles remained. The gargoyles looked extremely guilty as well for they were right there at that moment on their shoulders. They didn’t commit the crime but they felt like they did. “You ok boss?” One of the gargoyles asked as he touched Draxum’s arm.

Their boss remained silent there was nothing he could say after what they had said to him how hurt they were when they found the truth. especially Michelangelo whom he was unknowingly slowly growing to see as a son "No I'm afraid not.." he whispered softly the hurt in his voice. Slowly turning he was about to leave the haunted room when he noticed something at the corner of his eye slightly curious he reached down for it removing the debris and rock from it and brushing the dust he realized it was a photo from one of those old-fashioned cameras that humans would use to take pictures with and his eyes widen at the image of the same female turtle that was described in the videos a tank next to her was a little nest laying within for four little eggs marked by four similar colors. It was a picture of their mother. And from what form he could tell she looked to be smiling proudly of her hatchlings. Draxum wanted to show the boys this badly but he knew that the anger and resentment were still fresh he believed it was best to give them space for now until things cooled off and maybe one day he could find a way into their hearts of hoping for forgiveness even if he believes he doesn't deserve it. In the meantime he carefully tucked the picture safely into his yukata before making his way where the others went careful to keep his distance for now when he made his way to the entrance of the building they entered his sense is suddenly caught something taking a sniff he realized something was off? Carefully looking at the entrance he could see out into the darkness of the swamp that sent his instincts on alert they were being watched. So he quickly and quietly went to find the others!

“I wanna go home….” Mikey whined as he hugged himself while looking down. “This trip is no longer fun anymore.” He felt like he was betrayed and got stabbed in the heart a million times, everyone else felt too. Everyone was silent and the mood was definitely killed. Pretty sure they don’t wanna go camping anymore after finding out about all of this. “H-hey! Let’s head back to the boat eh? This place is like… SUPER depressing anyway!” April tried to lighten up the mood by saying that; she could tell the boys really needed a pick-me-up right about now. When she was about to head out to the boat she felt herself stop by her arm looking to see it was Draxum a stern look on his face "Barry what are you..? But he quietly just her as did the Gargoyles quietly whispered "We are not alone some eyes are watching us." Carefully pointing to the entrance of the building "Beyond the trees there are four of them."

Everyone slowly turned to see in his direction and in need not far from where the boat was 8 pairs of glowing eyes watching them.

The boys and Splinter quickly caught on to. They were def being watched. Damn! If only they bought their weapons along the trip but they left them behind. Still, they put their dukes up ready to fight. They are not completely helpless without their weapons they can just fight fine by themselves! Carefully they made their way closer to the entrance and nearer to the mysterious eyes that's so far didn't seem to make any moves only blinking from time to time as Leo called out to them "Hey whoever you are you better show yourselves right now or there's going to be trouble! Hoping for their answer the pair of eyes looked around as if they were looking at one another then looked back at the group the looking eyes as if they were confused yet curious suddenly the flick of a match was lit by one of them and they could see that they replacing what looked like to be an Old fashioned lamp? "What are they doing?" April asked worryingly as she consciously back next to Draxum unsure of what these mysterious strangers were doing they finished lighting their lamps bringing them up to reveal their faces completely flabbergasted as the light revealed four humanoid animal faces of a raccoon girl, a fox boy and two lizard boys expressing the same look as the others as the raccoon girl holding the lamp cautiously step forward and spoke in a Creole accent "kiyes ou ye?"(who are you?)

End of Chapter:3

stay tuned for Chapter:4 Truth in the dark leads from a lantern light.

credit to the beautiful Queenie aka https://www.tumblr.com/celestialcreativity for being a part of this Fanfic

[nerves-nebula]

I sometimes feel like ppl read too much into 2012 a bit, not in a bad way or anything that exactly what fandom does. We pick apart our fav media, looking for all the subtle hints and little interactions to feed our fave headcanons and canons.

But it's back to that Steven universe killing the diamonds conversation, this is a show predominantly written for 11 year Olds 😭 and not only that it's a show that put cool fight scenes first and treated emotions and relationship dynamics as an after thought. It was also literally made in a period of time when shows were kind of mean. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy it but it just means does nuances and stuff won't really be the main focus point of the show(which I also think it's an added bonus because it gives fans so many different ways to add that nuance themselves) and at the end of the day we all will leave with different interpretations since the show wasn't so firm in expressing the overall dynamics and pushed everyone aside to make Leo the main focus alot of the time.

Like for me, I couldn't stand how splinter treated Raph. I related most to Raph as a kid and found how Raph was treated by splinter infuriatingly similar to how my mother treated me and for Leo I personally thought he had it best compared to his brothers because he had the closest relationship to Splinter but when I asked my little sister about it she said that she thinks he has it worse because splinter basically used him as his personal therapist and used him to deal with his problems. I never thought of it like that and honestly thought the worst part of their relationship was that Splinter left Leo to be the leader of the group in and outside of missions but I learnt a new perspective and I didn't immediately refute it because I didn't see it at first.

And I really think this is one of the biggest problems with the 2012 discussion. We always try to put everything into black and white, neat little boxes with best little labels. But there is always a gray area and sometimes it might not even be grey it can be fucking pink. We need to respect eachothers interpretations of the relationships and try to not be too quick to bash eachothers interpretations to a pulp.

And sometimes we are too blinded by rises awesomeness that we don't find the need to pay attention to 2012's awesomeness too and only look at the negatives.

And in a tangent too many ppl refuse to give 2012 a chance😭😭 ppl are too ready to call it out but haven't watched it in years. They use 2012 to make rise brothers look better.

I'll be looking for a crossover fic between the two iterations and the only thing I'll find is ppl writing 2012 April and Raph(and sometimes Donnie) like literal demon spawns and it honestly makes me kind of sad like we could have used that opportunity to add like nuances to their characters but instead we write them so unnecessarily mean😭😭😭 like babes stoppppppppp I just want to see the brothers be besties not rise brothers adopt Mikey because 12 brothers are evil monsters that don't care about their baby brother.

Sorry if this is hard to follow, I'm really bad with writing stuff that aren't in bullet points lol. And even tho English is the only language I know doesn't mean I know how to do it well😭😭😭

But it's back to that Steven universe killing the diamonds conversation

LITERALLY DONT BRING UP STEVEN UNIVERSE I WILL GO INSANE AUHG I CANT STAND BAD STEVEN UNIVERSE OPINIONS THEY MAKE ME GO normal MODE.

It was also literally made in a period of time when shows were kind of mean.

this is really fuckin important to note actually. its very hard to watch a lot of shows from that era, like the cruelty is the point and the joke and it HURTS to see sometimes hah. like i'll see all the brothers be absolute pieces of shit to Casey and just go ??? am i supposed to laugh at this??? it's got Sitcom disease where everyone is awful on occasion for Bits and Gags or something haha.

i vibe with a lot of what you've said here. its making me think that once i watch 2012 i could try my hand at a crossover. idk tho, we'll see.

maybe they could all take turns adopting each other (translation: they should get along and coach each other through their emotional issues)

I liked the anecdote about your sisters opinion, i think thats a good way of lookin at shit.

[panfluidme]

Raised Separately

Master Post, Chapter Five

CHAPTER SIX: BIG MAMA'S BIG ASK

"Orange, Red!" Splinter's voice called out through the lair. "Come here!"

The two brothers came to the living room, Mikey on Raph's shoulders. Splinter was standing with his hands behind his back. He wore a serious expression, scaring the younger of the two brothers. 

"Dad? What is it?"

"I am going to be leaving for a while. Red is in charge, but if anything big happens, April's parents' number is on the fridge. I don't know how long I'll be gone for."

"Got it, pops. Stay safe."

Splinter nodded. "I'll see you soon, my sons."

"Love you!" Mikey cheered from Raph's shoulders.

"I love you too, Orange."

With that, Splinter left the lair. Big Mama had sent him a letter (how she knew where he lived was beyond him) begging him to come visit. So, as much as he thought it wasn't a smart idea, he decided to go.

He dreaded speaking to her as he entered the hotel that Big Mama owned. He went to the front desk, telling the receptionist that he had a meeting with her. Then he sat down in the waiting room.

Soon, Splinter was called back and taken to her office. She stood in front of the window, hands on her back and her back toward the door. She didn't even look around.

"Ah, huggypoo, so good to see that you came." She turned around with a wicked grin. "I see that you aren't the man you used to be."

"What do you need, Big Mama?"

"My friend has two kids that he has put under my care while he's away, but I simply do not have the time nor the patience to take care of them. Normally, I would send them to my scramdupitous Nexus, but that got shut down for a while. The police apparently have reason to believe that I am exploiting people for it."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"I need you to care for the brats for two days. If you do this, I will pay you."

"You need me to babysit?"

"Yes. Softie, Ears, you may come out."

Two teens came out from under the desk, both having a cloaking crystal on so they looked human. They both looked at Splinter, his heart breaking slightly at the fearful look in the blue one's eyes.

"Boys, this is Lou Jitsu. He'll be taking care of you while your Father is away."

"Big Mama, they're teenagers, couldn't they take care of themselves?" Splinter's tone was gentle.

"And let them run around my hotel and causing problems for my guests again? Oh, ho ho ho, no. Now, take care of them or I will go after your children."

Splinter swallowed thickly and nodded. "Come with me, boys."

The two nodded and followed Splinter out of the office. Neither of them said anything, the purple one hiding behind the blue one.

"Which one are you?" Splinter asked him.

"Ears."

"You and Softie are brothers?"

"Twins."

"Do you have names you'd prefer to go by?"

"What?"

"I wouldn't want to go by Ears or Softie," Splinter explained as they exited the hotel. "Do you have names you'd rather go by or can I call you Blue and Purple?"

Ears looked at Softie, who shrugged, then back at Splinter. "Softie likes to be called Donnie. You can call me Leo."

"Does Donnie speak?"

"Only to me and our three friends. Sometimes he'll talk to Auntie and Father. He's not going to talk to you." 

Splinter sighed softly. "Why is that?"

"Dunno. He's always been like that."

Donnie tugged Leo's shirt, pointing to a pizzeria. Leo glanced between him, the place, and Splinter. He then puffed up his chest.

"Don wants pizza."

"Alright, how does he feel about Hawaiian? That's my two sons' favorite, other than pepperoni."

"What's on it?"

"Ham and pineapple."

Donnie scrunched up his nose and quickly shook his head. "No pineapple," he mumbled just loud enough for Leo to hear.

"No pineapple. Pepperoni's fine."

~•~

Splinter led the twins to his home, finding that his boys had gone to April's, leaving a note that they decided to stay for a week with her and her family. He sighed and set the pizza box down. "I have some spare rooms for you two stay in."

"No!" Leo cleared his throat. "I mean, no. Donnie and I always share a room."

"Alright. Enjoy your food, I'll show you to your room when you're done."

"Thank you."

Splinter left the room, leaving the twins alone in the kitchen. Donnie sat on the counter, crossing his legs.

"This place is weird," Donnie stated flatly.

"I dunno, I kinda like it. We get pizza out of this."

"True. But we mustn't lose our training routine. Father'll kill us."

"What do you think Father is doing?"

"By my calculations, he's getting more turtles to start rebuilding his army."

Leo fell silent for a brief moment. "Do... do you think he'll replace us?"

"That I am uncertain of. Logically, he would keep us to help train his new army or as shields for himself. We were made for one purpose and you know it. We are expendable to his noble quest."

"Is it a noble quest?"

"Why would it not be?"

"I thought it was, but humans are so nice. How could they be a threat if they're so nice?"

Donnie opened his mouth then shut it. "I don't know! Father hasn't told us all of his reasonings yet. I'm sure he will. In due time."

"I hope you're right, Tello. I really do."

[t-tex-edwards]

THE STASH DAUBER

RANTS OF AN UNRECONSTRUCTED MUSIC GEEK WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2022

https://stashdauber.blogspot.com/2022/01/the-nervebreakers-face-up-to-reality.html

The Nervebreakers' "Face Up to Reality"

[This time it's personal. My second most anticipated release of the millennium (after the Peter Laughner box) is here. I'm not going to review it, because I wrote the liner notes, which are reproduced in full below, including the part that wouldn't fit on the jacket. To say these guys are important to me would be an understatement. If my drummer from college hadn't seen them open for the Sex Pistols, I might not have moved from New York to Texas. Between 1978 and 1981, I saw them more times than any other band besides the Juke Jumpers. Mike Haskins remains my guitar hero, and Barry Kooda my human being hero. Bob Childress once surprised me with a message on the RadioShack corporate net after I'd written something about them online. My wife and I once made a pilgrimage to Austin to see Tex Edwards play a bar gig. And I'm proud to say that Carl Giesecke once played sleighbells on "I Wanna Be Your Dog" with Stoogeaphilia. But enough about me. I've got to go listen to this again.

]Think of this record as a follow-up that took a while to emerge.

It was 1980, 40 years ago as I write this, when the Nervebreakers -- who’d bossed the nascent Dallas punk scene from its inception, opened for every punk/”new wave” touring act that passed through Big D (Ramones, Sex Pistols, Clash, Police, Boomtown Rats), and made the pages of Rolling Stone via the image of guitarist Barry Kooda with a fish in his mouth onstage at the Pistols show – recorded their sole long player, We Want Everything!, which then took 14 years to make it onto vinyl.

The Nervebreakers coalesced in 1975 when Kooda, a junior college theater major back from Army service in Korea, managed to insinuate himself into the “arty rock band” Mr. Nervous Breakdown, formed by his high school best friend, guitarist Mike Haskins, with fellow record store employee Thom “Tex” Edwards. Haskins and Edwards bonded over their mutual appreciation for the Raspberries’ combination of tuneful songcraft and rock crunch. Drummer Carl Giesecke was a moonlighting symphony percussionist, while bassist Bob Childress, who’d joined after the Ramones show, held the distinction of having seen both the Stooges and the New York Dolls every night for a week at Richard’s in Atlanta while attending Georgia Tech.

Onstage, they had a formidable presence, honed over years of four-set gigs, with frontman Edwards draped rakishly over the mic stand, Kooda in his Army helmet and pistol belt, Haskins looking like Donnie Osmond’s axe-slinging twin, Childress bouncing around like the Uberfan who got to join his favorite band, and Giesecke pounding out a solid pulse. Their repertoire included covers as diverse as We Five’s “You Were On My Mind,” George Jones’ “The Race Is On,” and the Troggs’ “Strange Movies.” More to the point, they penned potent originals: “Hijack the Radio,” “Girls Girls Girls Girls Girls,” “My Girlfriend Is a Rock.” Haskins and Edwards were the main writers, with occasional contributions from Kooda, but drummer Giesecke claims credit for their best known song.

When the sessions for We Want Everything! were complete, Haskins and Childress left to form Bag O’ Wire, while the Nervebreakers recruited replacements for an East Coast tour, after which the band folded. Edwards and Kooda followed different musical directions, while Giesecke toured with Roky Erickson (whom the Nervebreakers had backed in 1979).

Fast forward to 2008, when the Nervebreakers reconvened in Haskins’ home studio to record some songs they’d never gotten around to documenting back when. The energy and excitement of the band in its heyday were still in ample supply, along with tunefulness, crunch, and sardonic wit. Highlights include the title track’s snaky rifferama, the leg-twitching rockabilly of “Just Yawn,” the splenetic snarl of “Don’t Wanna Be Used,” and the sprightly punk-country of “I Don’t Wanna Hold Your Hand.” Kooda penned the ennui anthem “Wake Me Up,” and co-wrote the dance-craze theme “They Were Doing the Pogo.” The closing triptych of “It’s Obvious,” “Breaking Down,” and “I’d Rather Die” provides a rousing conclusion to a rockin’ set of tunes that’s long overdue, but right on time.

POSTED BY STASHDAUBER AT 1:30 PM

[insomniac-dormouse]

Leo memory comic analysis I might add to eventually who know

Disclaimer: I’m not smart.

Disclaimerer: Not my art (@nerves-nebula)

Page 1

From the get go, we start with a clear image illustrating the situation, and a quick, concise summary of what led to the comic’s starting point; this informs the readers of the brothers’ motivation and goal in this story.

Then, despite the simple, exaggerated style of next panel, carrying a clearly rushed and comedic energy, the formatting is still well done, using the rule of thirds to draw the readers’ eyes to Draxum and Raph, respectively.

The next text box, draws a comparison to a Rise episode that utilizes this same trope using the same narrative device (a spell) as in said episode. This further helps the reader understand what is happening in the story, implying and stating that the brothers are going to travel through Leo’s mind and witness her memories.

The final image is centered, placing an emphasis on it. This part is important, because it marks the start of the brothers’ journey, clearly showing them casting the spell. Here, the background fades to white, creating an effect of a magical glow, while also transitioning into the gradient on next page’s background.

Page 2

The background starts white at the top, strokes turning darker as they travel down, until they reach black. It creates the impression of sinking, of falling into the mindscape. This also establishes the comic’s black borders, something indicative of the turtles being in the mindscape.

Accompanying this are three panels overtop, of Raph’s face as the spell activates. The soft white within these panels indicates this is him in the real world. He looks disgruntled and disoriented, and effect added to by the way the panels zoom in on him—his tensing jaw, his bracing squint—and the placement of those panels; they are disconnected, crooked, broken up in places.

This leads to a shot of the brothers standing together in the bottom center of the page, packed together. The border around their heads separates them from the background, while also filling up the space they’re in. Raph appears driven, if hesitant, and his wide open eye partnered with the previous images of him carry an animated feel which makes the components of the page be less disjointed when put together.

Mikey’s expression appears bored, he’s being flippant and casual about the mission. In contrast, Donnie seems anxious, but focused, worry/stress evident in how he holds himself. Behind them, there are waters and stone pavement; Donnie notes that the setting of most of Leo’s memories should be the sewers, establishing what the environment the entire rest of the comic will take place in.

Finally, large (loud) laughter leads of the bottom right of the page, leading the reader to the next page.

Page 3

The laughter is large and loud, taking up a lot of space as it stretches across the page, right above the beginnings of Splinter’s chiding. The size of the laughter could be alluding to how formative this event was to Leo, Splinter’s mocking laughter ringing loudly through the memory. The way the sound stretches along is also very cohesive with Raph in the panel below; it looks like he’s walking along with it, following the sound to its source.

The first two panels show a fluid sequence as Raph moves smoothly between actions. He hears the sound, then he follows it. His fast action and awareness—him being the only one shown to be doing this despite his brothers following—shows that he is the one taking their mission the most seriously.

In the third panel, all three brothers are somewhat acting as a frame, looking on at a distance. This separation allows the comic to veer away from them for a moment, as it focuses on the memory. Leo and Splinter are at focal points in the panel as they are the new subject of the comic.

In the next panel, Splinters’s expression is light, in similarity to the bright background. He seems unbothered, as he gives Leo his advice. Leo however, looks deeply confused, clearly bothered by Splinter’s flippancy and not at all comprehending the problem.

Taking focus, Leo argues that the dress he found is pretty. Her current mindset innocent and simple. There is an honest distress to his lack of understanding. His question is cut off, Splinter’s tone change made evident as he says Leonardo’s name in bold, his speech bubble outlined as no others have been thus far.

Leo is tiny and cropped, barely in the panel, as Splinter looms over her, appearance suddenly massive and menacing, the background dim. This is probably how Leo saw Splinter as his question was answered, how big of an impact those words made. He asks how Leo plans to be a warrior in something so ridiculous. He holds up Leo’s current life goal, her most guaranteed expectation, and tells her this behavior will get in the way. He calls the dress ridiculous, which would of course make Leo feel like he wouldn’t be taken seriously in it, like he’s inviting derision and mockery just by wearing it. In Leo’s mind, the dress now undermines her.

I have no need, Splinter says, giving Leo the idea that he might do something that would make him hold less worth. This would have made him feel like he could be discarded. And the use of the words feminine and undisciplined together no doubt form that association in Leo’s head, plants the idea that to partake in anything feminine is to be undisciplined, and to undisciplined is to be unworthy of Splinter’s affection.

In the next panel, she’s still looking up at Splinter. She is listening. And it only takes a moment for every word Splinter said to sink in.

This is the only point in the page where Leo stops looking up; he looks up to Splinter as a source of wisdom and authority, and so looks down on himself upon being “corrected”—the beginnings of self loathing. He’s also likely embarrassed at having done something so supposedly shameful without even realizing. The background surrounds him in black, as he takes these ideas to heart. He’s ashamed. Subdued. Leo apologizes for it all.

Page 4

A wide panel at the top of the next page, reintegrates Raph, Mikey, and Donnie into the scene, still watching the memory from a distance with some discomfort. The background shifts into Leo’s emotional state, the background taking on darker tones in messier strokes, the border becoming significantly less rigid, highlighting Leo as she becomes shrouded in that darkness.

The next panel shows him facing away, still seemingly part of a memory. Dark drips into the background around him. Mirroring this, it’s as if the border itself drips down, framing Leo, indicating her connection to this world. He turns, clearly addressing the turtles. His new eye stands out, glowing against the shadows of his new form.

As Leo explains that she needs help fighting the worm, Raph seems taken aback at being addressed by this child version of Leo, an open surprise on his face.

Raph pushes past the oddness of the situation as he agrees, but his averted eyes display that he finds this turn in their mission unsettling. Leo appears entirely stoic, in contrast to the real Leo seen into the memory, which drives the reader to separate the two to a degree.

Leo establishes that she’ll be the one taking them from memory to memory, in their search for the worm, driving the story along. This control he has over the story is emphasized by him tearing into the background, wherein three colours can be seen: Black only found in the comic borders and backgrounds; Purple and orange are similarly unique, seen only (in excess) on Leo himself. She swings her claws in an arc, ripping open a portal of sorts. And she stands next to it, entirely in black space, undeniably a part of the world around them.

oOo

Comic Links:

https://www.tumblr.com/nerves-nebula/713460172208635904/ayooooo-leo-memory-stuff-partttt-1

[afreakingdork]

Hello!! Reader stan here, I've sung my praises of the way you write ws!reader in your ask box now and again (and do feel a LITTLE bit silly afterwards). I know that Ws!reader is intended to be an every-man sort of protagonist but I just want to say the way you go about writing is so freaking good I can't possibly put myself in their place!!

It's a funny sort've similarity with persona protagonists, intended blank slates who actually have so many interesting quirks about them that a few peeps end up viewing them completely as fair and fleshed characters in the story.

Anyways, sorry for babbling, WS!READER FOR THE WIN, Donatello better appreciate the absolute catch he achieved having someone like them by their side!!

(and on a side note, reader back at it again by seeing Donnie fully immerse into his villainy and go "Aw man..have I been stalling my partner's profession? Have I been holding him back from enjoying his work to the fullest? :(" NO, YOU SILLY-)

Yes! I remember you! It's definitely an odd needle to thread when you're more story inclined, but then if I was characters inclined, wouldn't the same thing happen? Every character in a story needs to be a certain way for things to happen. Ah, writing is such a fascinating practice! This is what attracts me to fanfiction so much. When you get a character down, you can then put them through little situations. Once you understand their core elements, it's so fun to test those out by changing even the slightest parameter!

I'm sure there was no slamming of the reader so this wasn't a rescue post per say, but I wanted to acknowledge that here i.e. however you view reader is right and correct! If you feel I didn't include you and you feel left out by reader, then that's on me. If you feel reader is insertable, that's great and my intention. If you feel reader is their own character entirely, that works too, but again feels like I didn't do that good of a job, but in the line of x readers these three (and probably more) scenarios will always be the case!

Not babbling at all! I love some good perspective!

All this is so fun! I'm honored I get to write for y'all!

jahdkjfahdsaf reader just wants Donbon to be happy 😂 If being evil schmevil does then who are they to stand in the way! ✨ᴵ ʷᵒⁿᵈᵉʳ ᶦᶠ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵃˢᵉ

Thanks for writing it! I appreciate you!!