#q.b.
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rottmnt-honeybea · 3 months ago
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HAPPY MUTATION DAY BEA!!!
Earlier today, I posted a collection of Q.B. canon notes
And in honor of today being her mutation day, I decided to remake on of my olllllld videos that took place during Chapter 3. First Meetings
This took me. 9 hours. And that was because I was trying to mimic the backgrounds of Rise. Unobstructed pics are already up on Tumblr and will follow on IG shortly.
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rottmnt-honeybea · 2 years ago
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@pxl8ed Literally Roxo
I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.
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sugarmarbles21 · 6 months ago
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My own fanart of the fanfic “Honey and the bea” by Arco111.
I kinda imagined what Q.B’s Sci-fi outfit would look like, and since Arco hadn’t drawn one yet, so I decided to take a crack at it. Let me present Princess Pollen of the Tambi people of planet Apinae. I kinda rushed with the character backstory if you couldn’t tell😅
If you’re familiar with the works of Anand “Ana” Duncan, then you should be able to tell that the design of the dress is heavily based on her work. You can find her on twitter if you want to check it out.
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motel-babilonia · 3 months ago
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Q.B.
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schmergo · 2 years ago
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Historical house tours are so confusing. They’ll be like, “When we head upstairs, pay special attention to the Blue Room, where Colonel Thomas J. Shmoshington carved a suggestive message on the bedpost.”
And you’ll walk into a room with bright blue walls and be like, “Oh, I guess this is the Blue Room?”
And they’ll be like, “NO! This is the Red Room! It’s called the Red Room because of the red velvet curtains and canopy bed!” Then they take you into a white room with yellow floral wallpaper trim and go, “THIS is the Blue Room!”
And when you humbly ask why it’s called the Blue Room, they’ll scoff at you like you were born yesterday (rather than in 1789) and be like, “It’s called the Blue Room because it USED TO BE blue! The entire mansion is painstakingly restored to its appearance in the year 1812, which happens to fall during the two-year span in in which Abigail Shmaddison redid the room in white and yellow in a flight of fancy. After spending some time away in a sanitarium, she regained her senses and changed it back to blue. An archaeologist found an original scrap of the yellow wallpaper beneath 13 layers of paint and we were able to match it perfectly with this pattern, which was of course developed by Q.B. Zippitydoo & Sons in London and available for purchase only in 1812. Any more questions?”
So you hold your tongue until you enter a big green room that is so incredibly green that it can’t possibly be anything but the Green Room. It has acid green walls. It has bright green curtains. It has forest green tablecloths. There are ivy motifs carved in the ceiling. Cautiously, you venture, “So this is the Green Room?”
And they say, “NO! This is the parlor!”
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angelap3 · 2 months ago
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Il croccante alle mandorle è davvero un dolce semplice e goloso! Ecco la la ricetta, perfetta per creare questa delizia:
Ingredienti:
- 250g di mandorle pelate 🌰
- 3 cucchiai di miele 🍯
- 170g di zucchero 🍬
- Succo di limone q.b. ��
### Procedimento:
1. **Tostare le mandorle:** Inizia tostando le mandorle pelate in una padella antiaderente per qualche minuto, fino a quando diventano leggermente dorate. Tienile da parte.
2. **Preparare il caramello:** In una pentola a fuoco basso, sciogli lo zucchero con il miele, mescolando continuamente finché lo zucchero non si caramella e raggiunge un colore dorato intenso. Aggiungi qualche goccia di succo di limone per aiutare a mantenere il caramello fluido.
3. **Unire le mandorle:** Aggiungi le mandorle tostate al caramello e mescola bene, rivestendo tutte le mandorle uniformemente.
4. **Stendere il composto:** Versa immediatamente il composto su un foglio di carta da forno e livellalo con una spatola o un cucchiaio di legno, facendo attenzione a non scottarti.
5. **Raffreddare e tagliare:** Lascialo raffreddare per qualche minuto e, mentre è ancora caldo ma non troppo duro, taglialo a pezzi con un coltello leggermente unto.
6. **Servire:** Una volta raffreddato completamente, il croccante alle mandorle è pronto da gustare o conservare in un contenitore ermetico!
Questo dolce è perfetto per uno spuntino o come regalo goloso!
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sugarmarbles21 · 1 year ago
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Maybe next time he should let the expert create giant plants that doesn’t want to eat all humanity.🐝
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my favorite botony enthusiast and his lab assistant
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rottmnt-honeybea · 2 months ago
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God damn right, you should be scared of me.
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preggopushes · 25 days ago
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Free Agent [MPREG]
WARNING: NSFW, there will be all sorts of weirdness including gay sex, rough sex, domination, male pregnancy, MPREG, and males giving birth
**Originally posted on DeviantArt, but I thought some people on Tumblr might enjoy it also**
PART 1
As you sit eating your big breakfast, you focus your attention on the television in the kitchen. An annoying car commercial ends and the familiar Sports Center jingle plays. “Do-do-doot, do-do-doot.”
An overcaffeinated big man in a plaid sportscoat appears on the screen, “Chris Berman here to run down the NFL power rankings for this upcoming season...”
After waiting tensely for 20 minutes, you finally hear what you’ve been waiting for. “And at number five, we have the Carolina Panthers. Second-year quarterback Sam Jackson…”
The sound of your name brings a smile to your face. It’s been your dream to play professional football since you were 4 years old, and your childhood dream has become a reality. You still can’t believe they’re paying you to do this job, starting quarterback for an NFL team, the Carolina Panthers.
“…brought this team to unexpected heights as a rookie after taking over for injured veteran Q.B. Andy Dahlberg during week six last season. And in case you didn’t hear the breaking news this morning, he has a big new target this year in Tight End Mac Davison. Mac was acquired by the Panthers in a blockbuster free agent signing this morning.  We’ll be expecting great things from this dynamic duo this year …”
Your eyes pop. You hadn’t heard the news yet. You literally jump and pump your fists with excitement. Mac is the best tight end in the league. Throwing to him will be legendary.
The sound of your phone’s ringer interrupts your celebration. It’s an unknown number, but you take a chance and answer. The voice on the other end is unfamiliar, “Hey QB1. My brotha, I guess you know by now, huh?”
“Mac?” you query.
His words are quick, “of course! We gonna have a great year, but it starts now. I hear you’re in the mountains relaxing?”
“Um, ya. I’m near Park City staying at a friend’s unused vacation house for the offseason. Beautiful out here. It’s a great spot to work out.”
“Ya, ok. I’ll be there in a few hours. We gotta get acquainted, no time to waste QB1.”
The call suddenly ends.
You’re used to dealing with professional athletes and the extreme eccentricity they bring to life, but Mac’s call was enigmatic, even for a professional athlete.
Three hours later the doorbell chimes loudly. You stride to the door and open it wide for the big man on the other side. You checked out Mac’s stats earlier. The sheet said he’s 6 feet 6 inches and 265 pounds, but he looks even bigger in person. The sheet also said he runs a blisteringly fast 4.52 second forty-yard dash and has a 42.5 inch vertical leap.
He gives a big grin and pulls you into a big hug. At 6 feet 2 inches and 205 pounds, you’re certainly not a shrimp, but Mac’s massiveness makes you feel small. 
“I’m excited man! Excited to team up with you!” he announces loudly while stepping back and tossing a football into your hands.
“It’s going to be great, Mac! I’ve been looking up to you for a long time!” you say.
“Ya boy, it all starts today. I just need to know…are you ready to give it your all? To sacrifice? To do ANYTHING necessary for a ring?” his face is very serious as he asks this.
“Of course!” you holler. You mean it. You’ll do anything to win. You already workout and study nonstop, but you’ll double down and work harder.
Mac throws a duffle bag onto the ground in the entryway. “Alright let’s get to it then. How about some drills?”
You shrug, “sure, let’s get to work,” and lead him out to the astroturf field in the backyard.
After some warmup calisthenics and sprints, you pull a bag of footballs over and say, “ready to run some routes?”
He’s quick to answer, “born ready, QB1!”
Suddenly you have a pang of butterflies in your stomach. You’ve had this feeling previously during big games. You’re about to throw to one of the greatest players in the NFL. The feeling of imposter syndrome overcomes you.
“Post route,” Mac calls out.
Your heart beats quickly as you grasp the pigskin in both hands and yell, “go!”
Mac sprints away as you preform your 5-step drop, then you launch the ball downfield with a swift motion. As the ball leaves your fingertips you realize that it’s a bad throw. You’re forced to watch in horror as the ball sails wide right.
As Mac jogs back you say, “hey, sorry, just some rust.”
He’s quick and upbeat, “no prob, let’s try that one again.”
You yell, “go!��� and Mac sprints away again. You throw once more.
It’s a better throw, but still not good. What happens next is horrific to watch. Your pass comes down just out of Mac’s reach, but he lunges and dives for your errant pass. As he lands, you see his ankle flex awkwardly and he cries out in pain.
Your mind fixates on one thought: fuck, I just injured Mac Davison. My life, my career, is over.
You run down to Mac as he lays on the astroturf grabbing his lower leg.
The next minutes are a haze. Somehow you get him upright and assist him into the house and help him sit in a stuffed chair.
“Can you try massaging it?” he requests.
You kneel and gently pull his shoe off and do your best to mimic the movement that trainers have used on your sore body parts when you’ve been injured.
As you massage the ankle, you can’t help but notice a big bulge in his loose blue athletic shorts. You stare closer and realize that the dude has a massive, erect dong under his shorts.
“Do you like what you see QB1?” he says nonchalantly.
His question catches you off guard. You just chuckle, unsure how to reply.
“So, Sam, you wanta suck it or get fucked by it? Either way works for me,” he says.
You’re used to inappropriate bander in locker rooms, but the brazenness of Mac’s question pushes you farther off guard.
“Dude, uh…that’s funny,” is all you can say.
Mac continues, “man, if we’re going to develop chemistry, we have to.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” you practically scream.
He shrugs, “all the great quarterbacks took dick from their primary targets, it’s common knowledge, man.”
You stutter, realizing that he’s serious, or maybe crazy. “Y-y-ya ,r-r-rright. N-next thing you’ll be telling me that Tom Burgandy was letting his receivers have his ass.”
Mac stares at you like you have two heads.
“Huh? You really don’t know? Of course, Tommy B. let his receivers rail him. I heard he was an amazing lay. He let Cronk cum inside him before every game and again at halftime. How else do you think they developed that legendary charisma together?”
You stare back at the huge man, like a deer in the headlights, realizing that his request is serious.
“You said you would do anything to win, right?” he asks.
You reply with hesitation, “I-I did say that didn’t I?”
Mac continues, “Alright bro, I guess we ain’t got a choice here. Pull down your pants, QB1.” 
“Whoa, wait, what about your ankle?” you ask.
He chuckles, “oh ya, I’m fine. I flopped out there because I could tell we needed to get our chemistry fixed first.”
You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack as you choke out, “a-a-nd you think having sex with me is the answer?”
“Don’t worry, I think you’ll enjoy it.”
You just stare back at him.
“One time. Just try it Sam.”
What the fuck? Are you really about to let Mac put his dick inside you? If this is the price to win, though, it might be worth it.
You enter another haze, removing your clothes, walking into the bedroom, and bending over the bed.
“L-like this?” you ask, unsure exactly what to do.
He towers over you as he replies, “yep, just like that QB1. Don’t worry, I’m going to use lots of lube. I’ll treat you right.”
You peer backwards and see the massive, terrifying, erect cock inches from your bare ass as he wipes lube over himself. You close your eyes and attempt to visualize a Superbowl ring, trying to keep your ultimate goal in mind.
You feel a moment of warmth as his tip touches your butt. He grasps your hips with his hands, then it happens.
You’re overtaken by his raw power as he plunges into you. Your vision reduces to bright stars and you cry, “haaaaaaa!”
He powerfully pulls out and pumps again, making you cry aa second time, “haaaaaa!”
It happens again, but he goes even deeper. He’s so far inside you and it feels strange to be stuffed like this.
Just when you think he can’t go more, he hammers again, probing impossibly deep into you. “heeeeeeee!”
“Oh, QB1, you got a nice ass!” he soothes, “I feel so connected with you, man.”
He starts humping gently, sliding himself in and out. You can feel his full girth, grinding in-and-out of your body, exploring the depths of your insides. You can sense exactly where his tip is as he prods in-and-out of you, over and over.
You realize that women must feel the same sensations when they have sex. Then you realize that you’re moaning like a woman getting railed, “he, he hiiii, he, he hiii, he, he hii!” You try to stop, but you can’t help it.
Mac grunts and then asks, “doing ok QB1?”
Between moans you manage to say, “Huu, fuck your dick is huge. He, he, hiiii. Ya, I guess I’m ok, man. Hooo-oooo, Ohhhhh, Ohhhhh, Ohhhhh, Ohhhhh!”
He starts to accelerate his motions, making a slapping sound each time he humps into you.
You start to experiment, slightly rocking back into him each time he pushes. The motion is somehow natural, and you quickly find a tempo with him. You’re literally humping with him, taking an active role in the sex.
You inquire, “mmmm, are you going to cum soon, Mac?”
He responds, “I’m close. You ready for my load QB1?”
You realize that Mac, a man, is about to cum in your ass and you question how you ended up in this situation.
He humps faster and harder, filling you in a way that’s both very painful and bizarrely fulfilling. Your moans turn into deeper grunts as you work to accommodate the massive cock. “Uuuhhhhh! Uuuhhhhh! Uuuhhhhh!”
Then you hear Mac growl, “GRAAAAAA, HAAAAAAA, MAAAAAA!!!!” and you feel pulses of cum being deposited deep inside you.
You’re not sure if it’s disgusting or somehow weirdly pleasing, knowing that he literally just came inside you. Then, suddenly it’s over and he’s pulled out, leaving you feeling weirdly empty.
After pulling on your clothes, Mac says, “ready to try some more routes?”
You nod shyly and start to saunter outside. You can’t help but walk like a cowboy who just got off his horse. Mac really did a number on your ass. Sore is an understatement.
“Alright QB1, post route,” he requests once you’re outside.
You try to focus, but you keep having flashbacks to Mac jackhammering you.
“Ok, go!’ you finally muster.
He flies down the field and you launch the ball. Your heart leaps as you watch the perfect pass arc into his arms, hitting him perfectly in stride.
As he jogs back, he winks at you, “see? Told ya!”
You can’t believe it.
You yell, “GO!” again.
He flies down the field and you heave the ball again. This time, he suddenly breaks off his planned route and slams on the brakes.
You’re surprised that your pass hits him right in the chest. Somehow you knew he was going to change the route and you perfectly adjusted for the change.
The next hour of practice is the most fulfilling football of your life. You and Mac have a perfect connection on the field, like you’re reading each other’s minds.
You both head back to the house and spend some time in the weight room. Then you call one of the team’s assistant coaches on Zoom to work on some new plays for the upcoming year.
Finally, the doorbell rings and a driver hands you a gigantic bag of food. You and Mac devour the meal. When you’re both finished the dinner, you look at him and say, “hey, ummm…I’m sorry that I doubted you today. It’s been a super strange day but throwing to you this afternoon has been the highlight of my football career!”
“I feel you, QB1!” he says. “I’m loving it also. I’ve never been this connected with a quarterback. I can’t wait for the season to start.”
You fumble for your words, “Um, so, um, well…do you want to, um, you know, fuck me again tonight? It might help us get even more connected out there.” 
He nods, “alright, if your ass is up for it, dude.”
Before you know it, you’ve assumed the position in the bedroom and Mac is about to stretch you with his huge schlong again. You feel a mixture of excitement and dread as you slide your legs wider for him. Then he fucks you like his bitch.
The next three months go by like this. You and Mac focus all your energy on football except when you bend over and let him pound your ass. At long last, the summer ends and it’s time to report to preseason training camp with the team.
You’re ecstatic to walk into the Panther’s facility on the first day with Mac. The whole building is buzzing with expectation for the upcoming season. The first few hours are filled with mundane administrative tasks, but it’s great to be together with all the teammates and coaches.
Before lunch, you and Mac find yourselves in line outside the team doctor’s office for a routine weigh-in. When the doc calls you, you jump onto the scale. You expect to see 205 on the screen, but the screen lights up with 214. The doctor looks at his clipboard with a furrowed brow. “Hmmm, Sam, you gained some weight, huh? And I see some abnormalities here on your blood workup.”
You’re a little annoyed. You worked your tail off for the past months. You should be in the best shape of your life, but you can’t ignore the feeling that you’ve gotten a little pudgy.
Mac clears his throat behind you. “Uh, hey doc, can we talk in your office?”
When the office door closes, you see that Mac has an alarmed look on his face. He nervously glances toward the doctor and says, “you need to give him a pregnancy test.”
The white-haired doctor looks at you and simply says, “well fuck, guess that would explain things.”
Your mind spins in circles as the doctor rummages through a cabinet. Why in the hell do you need to take a pregnancy test? What could it possibly reveal?
The doctor waves a small box in the air, “found one!” then he pulls a cup and strip from the box. “Go pee in the cup, ok Sam?”
With trembling hands, you step across the hall into the men’s room and urinate into the cup, then you drop the strip into the cup and bring it back to the doctor. Mac hovers over the doctor as the doc pulls the strip out of your urine to examine the result.
Mac looks over to you, “oh dude, I’m so sorry! We should have used condoms, I guess.” You feel frantic as you try to understand what’s happening, then you yell, “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?”
They both ignore you as the doctor high fives Mac and says, “congrats, dad! How ‘bout a cigar later?”
Finally, the doctor addresses you, “alright Sam, sit down, I’ll explain.” You sit in a chair in the corner while your foot taps frantically.
The doc begins explaining in a gruff voice, “Sam, this is going to be hard to hear, but…well, you’re pregnant. You’ve got a baby in there.” He points to your slightly pudgy abdomen. “I’m assuming you’ve been having sex with Mac, right?
You just stare back, unable to speak, so he glances to Mac who nods and says matter-of-factly, “yep, daily.”
“So, you’re going to ask how this is possible, right? Well, honestly, we don’t know exactly why, but some men who are very fit, like yourself, are able to get pregnant from other men. It has something to do with elevated testosterone, so we see this more frequently in NFL players compared to the general population. It happens once or twice a year across the whole league.”
Then it hits you. How can you play football if you’re pregnant? Your dream season is over before it even started.
The doctor rummages through his desk, then pulls out a piece of official looking paper. “So, Sam…here’s the deal.” He waves the paper at you. “Position players are prohibited from playing when they’re pregnant because of risk to the baby. When it happens, we makeup an injury so they can take the year off. But, uh, this memo here from the league says that the next quarterback to get pregnant can play…if he wants.”
Mac asks, “It’s safe, right? Like, what if he gets sacked by a big D-lineman?”
The doctor continues, “they actually developed a special device. It’s like shoulder pads for a pregnant belly. The baby would be well protected.”
Mac claps, “alright then! Sam, let’s go-oooooo!”
The doc says one more thing, “I highly suggest you give it a shot, Sam. The device was well tested when Tom Burgandy was going through this a few years ago. Someone needs to be the first. Might as well be you, kid.”
PART 2
“Whoa, whoa, you’re telling me Tom Burgandy was pregnant?” you finally ask.
Mac and the doc stare at you like you have three heads.
Mac says, “of course man, he carried Cronk’s baby. Everyone knows. It’s like an open secret.”
The doc continues, “the league was going to let him be the first quarterback to play pregnant, but he backed out at the last minute.”
Mac jumps in, “ya, why do you think they both retired? And Jelissa divorced Tom when she found out about it. Tom loved Cronk more than her.”
You shake your head. Fuck, how did you never see this? Of course. It’s so clear now.
The news that you’re pregnant is alarming, bizarre, and somehow kinda cool at the same time. Knowing that your idol, Tom Burgandy, went through the same thing reassures you.
The next days are a whirlwind. You get fitted for the special tummy-protecting device, practice lots of football, and have an ultrasound appointment with your newly assigned OBGYN.
You also spend a lot of time with the Public Relations people for the Panthers and the NFL. Coming out as the first pregnant male football player requires a carefully honed rollout plan.
Your teammates are incredibly supportive of your unique situation. You were initially worried that you’d be ostracized, but the opposite is true. Your pregnant belly has become something like a mascot for the team. They even rub it for good luck before each practice.
Before the first game, your agent tells you that Tom Burgandy’s people reached out to coordinate a phone call between the two of you. You can’t believe that you’re getting a personal call from the best quarterback ever to play.
He starts, “hey Sam, I’m a big fan! Good luck out there this year. I think great things are in store for you, man. Some of my records might be in jeopardy, haha. And more importantly, congrats on your baby! Cronk and I are so excited for you and Mac. I would say that I’m jealous, but Cronk and I just found out that we’re expecting again, so I’m just a few months behind you. I can’t believe I’m already showing.”
For some reason, you can’t control your emotions and start sobbing tears of joy. Your OBGYN said to expect stronger emotions due to the hormonal changes, but you didn’t know that the news of Tom’s baby would be the trigger to set off your waterworks.  
For a second, the phone is quiet, and you worry that he’s judging you for crying. But then you hear sobs coming from his side of the phone. Eventually, you both pull it together and he clears his throat.
“Oh man, nothing like a good cry!” He goes on, “man, I think what you’re doing is so brave, being the first pregnant player. I wish I had tried, but at my age we ultimately decided it wasn’t wise due to the increased risk factors. But Sam, you’re going to love the rest of your pregnancy, enjoy it! Oh, and a little advice…stay on top of your birth exercises. Labor is tougher than any football game…especially when your kid has a Tight End’s gigantic head…oof!” You thank him for the call and smile, content as a pregnant man.
The first regular season game is nearly perfect. Of course, you let Mac bend you over before the game. When your team is announced, you run through the tunnel before your teammates, then each of them runs out and embraces your pregnant belly. The crowd loves it.
Then you take the field and complete 23 of 28 passes as the Panthers handily defeat the Miami Dolphins. The next games proceed in the same way and the Panthers suddenly have five wins and zero losses. Most commentators consider the Panthers the best team in football.
By game seven the additional weight you’re carrying has become a tangible burden on the field. You’re now 226 pounds and you look like a marshmallow in your uniform with your jersey draped over your protruding belly and thick pads.
You used to be known for your scrambling abilities. You were fast and nimble on the field, able to make plays with your legs as well as your arm. Now, though, your coaches only draw up standard passing and handoff plays for you. It doesn’t matter though. Your connection with Mac enables you to make implausible throws that baffle defensive backs. And since the other team must place all their attention on Mac, they leave other receivers wide open. You’re off to a record-breaking start, leading the league in all major statistical categories.  
Your biggest advantage, though, might be your offensive line. In your pregnant condition, they look at you like their knocked-up little sister. There’s nothing these big, strong, fat men wouldn’t sacrifice to protect you from the defenders. As a result, your gravid body has barely been touched by the opposing teams.  
You’re humbled at how well the season is going, but you also love pregnancy. You’re beginning to feel flutters of the baby kicking in your womb, reminding you that there’s a life forming inside you. Your mid-term belly has caused some changes in your sex life also. Instead of bending you over doggystyle, Mac has started to fuck you in the missionary position. It’s splendid, being able to wrap your legs around him and look into your Tight End’s eyes as he enjoys your plump and curvaceous preggo body.
After the eighth game, Mac joins you in the team’s weight room on a quiet Tuesday afternoon after practice. “Hey man, ummm, I have something to ask you.”
You shrug, “ok,” while finishing a set of shoulder press.
He clears his throat. “So, the rest of the receivers and tight ends came to me yesterday. And they think they could play better if they were more, um, you know, connected with you.”
You realize where this conversation is going. “You mean they want to have sex with me also?”
He waves, then says sheepishly, “well, kinda. Ummm, they were actually thinking about, uh…a gangbang.”
“They want to fucking gangbang me? And you’re going to let them?” you shriek.
He shrugs again, “ya, I think you need to do it. It’ll help the team. We won last week, but we were a little rusty.”
You huff and roll your eyes, beginning to imagine what being the subject of a gangbang might be like.
Then you hear a noise outside in the hall. You stare closer at the crack in the door and realize the receivers are waiting outside, listening to your conversation. They look like a pack of hungry hyenas, stalking you like their next meal.
You turn back to Mac in fright. “Oh man,” you protest, shaking your head.
Mac says, “we’re going to use the trainer’s room. There’s a comfy table in there for you. Don’t worry, I told them they had to be careful. You’re pregnant with my baby girl after all.” He reaches out and strokes your belly.
“Right now?” you interrogate.
“Yep, they ain’t going to wait, man,” he replies solemnly.
Shortly, you’re lying on the padded trainer’s table completely nude. Mac gently places a small pillow under your head. Your pregnant male belly extends high into the air. You look around nervously at the 9 other men in the room. They’ve formed a circle around you and they’ve all pulled out their cocks. Each dick is erect and enormous, like Mac’s. You shudder at what’s about to happen.
Mac steps between your spread legs and says, “alright boys, listen up. You gotta be careful, but honestly QB1 can handle a lot and he likes it a little rough.” He slathers lube onto himself, then grabs your legs to position your body for penetration. He caresses his fingertips down your inner thighs and rubs circles all over your big baby tummy. You quiver in delight, knowing what comes next.
Then he breaches your opening with his bigness and your body stretches to accommodate him. His moves make you sigh in pleasure, “hoooo-ooooo!” Then he starts vigorously humping into you, getting even deeper on each push. Over the past months, he’s become an expert at bringing you pleasure and knows exactly where to press. You can’t contain your delight, “heeee, hyyyyy, ha-ha-ha-ha, heeee, hyyyyy, ha-ha-ha-ha.”
You’re totally ashamed to let the receivers see you like this, lying on the bed and submissively taking Mac’s dick like his bitch, but you accept that it’s worth it to help the team get closer to a Super Bowl ring.
Mac gives the onlookers more instructions, “see, just like this” as he models how they should hump you. He informs them, “and feel free to touch the belly, QB1 likes it.” He reaches out his big hands and fondles your jiggly belly. Then he says, “oh, and QB1 loves it when you angle up like this.” He jabs his cock upwards on the next hump, slamming into your g-spot. Your body jerks and you cry out in pleasure, “hiiiyyyyy, mmmm, MMMMM!”
Mac repeatedly thumps directly into your g-spot, making you squeal, “hee, hee, hee, hee!” Then he says, “hey Sam, um…Alec and DeAndre were hoping for oral. You ok with that, dude?”
Before you can respond, Alec, the team’s top wide-receiver, steps closer, puts his hands behind your head, and starts easing his massive cock towards your mouth.
You start to protest, but Alec moves quickly and begins stuffing his dick between your lips. You open wide, consenting to giving your teammate a blowjob. You’re overwhelmed with sensation, being fucked down below by Mac’s anaconda while Alec’s meat fills your mouth.
Alec forces himself into your throat, making you gag momentarily. He gives you a short break, then plunges himself deep again, making you gurgle.
You concentrate on accommodating the big dick in your mouth, but then the sudden sensation of Mac cumming inside you breaks your focus and you gag on the meat again, making a choking sound.
Another receiver takes his turn between your splayed legs and thrusts the full length of his rod into you. His dick is warm and big, but it feels different than Mac’s. You adjust your body slightly to accommodate the new angles. He’s not as talented as Mac but you manage to enjoy his steely penis. Soft moans emit from your dick-filled mouth. “Ehhhh, Ehhhh, Ehhhh, Oh! Mmmm, Mmmm! Oh!”
Then Alec’s dick spasms in your jaws. If feels like a gallon of gooey mess surges into your mouth. Some of it dribbles down your throat and you swallow. You spit the rest out.
The receiver between your legs pulls out and shoots thick jets of cum onto your baby bump. Then another takes his place between your spread legs and DeAndre slides his dick in your mouth. You’re stuffed full again.
The onlookers start chanting, “Q.B. ONE! Q.B. ONE! Q.B. ONE!” as they each take their turn with you. Your ordeal finally ends 50 minutes later with your rotund pregnant body covered in cum. You’re physically drained, but you know it was worth it to help the team.
The next game is your best yet. You blowout the Chicago Bears 63 to 10. Every receiver catches at least two passes, and you set a Panther’s record, throwing for 489 yards. A new tradition is born with you agreeing to let the receiving corps gangbang you once a week between games.
After winning the 14th contest of the season, you’re at home enjoying a Monday evening off from practice. You stand in front of a full-length mirror and admire your heavily gravid form. You turn sideways and look at your profile view and gawk, amazed at how big your abdomen has grown. Then you face the mirror and use a finger to trace the dark line that’s appeared on your lower belly, the linea nigra. The line perfectly accentuates the attractive, delicate curve of your soft tummy.
Suddenly, you’re startled by Mac’s muscular arms softly wrapping around your baby bump from behind. You gave him a key to your luxury apartment weeks ago, but you didn’t hear him arrive tonight. He moves to caress your belly with sensual strokes as he ogles your gravid nudity in the mirror. He asks with his deep voice, “are you ready, Sam?” You hungrily say, “yes baby, I’m so wet already. I neeeeeed you Mac.” You lay on the bed on your side and hold your huge tummy in your hands. You lift one leg into the air and let Mac’s rod enter you from behind while he holds you in a spooning position.
After he puts a hot load of cum in you, he continues holding you and whispers, “hey, uh…Sam.” You can tell he’s uncharacteristically nervous. “Hey man, I was wondering. You know, since the baby is, like, both of ours, do you want to, you know, move in with me?” You cuddle closer to him, feeling wholesome. He continues, “my house has everything the kid could need, so uh, what do you think?” You wholeheartedly agree.
The regular season ends with the Panthers seventeen and zero. The sports world is abuzz about the possibility of the first perfect season since 1972, and the entire world is talking about the pregnant quarterback who’s leading the team.
You sit down during the bye week for a nationally televised interview with reporter Marisha Traylor. Ironically, she’s several months pregnant, sporting a small baby pooch under her tight purple pantsuit. Your 8-month belly looks colossal as you sit across from her dainty bump in the studio.
Marisha: “Hi, Sam, thank you for being with us today. I’d like to start by asking how you’re feeling. Most moms and pregnant men are ready to start nesting at home at 8-months pregnant, but you’re still playing football at the highest level. How do you do it?”
“Hi Marisha, thank you so much for having me here! And congratulations on your bundle of joy. Ya, I’m feeling great, and the doctors say this baby girl is perfectly healthy.” You cuddle your arms around your expansive womb. “I certainly feel the nesting urge and I’m more lethargic than normal, but I love football. I’m driven every day to perform at my best for this city and my teammates, regardless of my condition. Even if I do have to pee every 15 minutes!”
Marisha: “Hehehehe, I hear you about the frequent bathroom breaks. But, wow, what you’re doing is incredible. I want to ask you about your decision to play football this year. I understand there’s a protocol that would have allowed you to skip the season and have the baby out of the spotlight, but you decided to step out and be the first man to play pregnant. Why?”
“Well, at one level, I love football and couldn’t bear the thought of not playing. But at a deeper level, I wanted to bring light to male pregnancy. Because male pregnancy is not very common, I really wanted to show other pregnant men that they’re not alone and there are other people out there going through the same things. I also want to take this chance to thank the fans who have been so wonderful in accepting me as a pregnant man. I don’t think I could do this without their support. And, of course, my teammates have been so supportive. We’ve shared some really intimate moments this year, and I can’t thank them enough for their kindness, especially my buddies on the receiving corps.” You wink into the camera, knowing your gangbang buddies will appreciate the shoutout.
Marisha: “And Sam, what do the doctors say about continuing to play. Is there any risk to the baby?
“Amazingly, they believe that the baby is perfectly safeguarded by the belly protector I wear on the field. There isn’t any risk to this kiddo.” You poke at your belly for effect, making the baby kick. “OH! Hehehe, big kick there! So, ya, I’ll continue to play as long as I’m not in labor.”
Marisha: “Ok, pivoting to a personal question. How is your relationship with the baby’s father, your teammate Mac Davison? How did he handle the news of having an unplanned child?”
“Oh, Mac’s been simply wonderful. He was actually the one who realized what was happening when I started showing pregnancy symptoms. I had no idea, ha! But he was a perfect gentleman and is going to be a great dad. He’s been at my side for every ultrasound appointment, assembled all the baby furniture, helped pick out things for the registry, and he even rubs on my stretchmark cream every night.” You put your hand to your mouth, “oh, maybe that was too much information, hahahaha! But ya, I can’t imagine doing this without his support, he’s great.”  
Marisha: “Wow, must be nice to be so supported. Ahem, I hope my husband was listening! And can I ask about the current status of your relationship?
You bite your lip shyly and lift your left hand to the camera, showing off a diamond encrusted band that Mac gave you. “Well Marisha, Mac popped the question the other day. He did it in the perfect place for us…a football field. It was very romantic. I said yes of course!”
Marisha: “Oh, how exciting! Congratulations! Do you have a wedding date yet?”
Not yet, we’re too focused on the upcoming games to plan a wedding, but we’re definitely looking forward to it. 
Marisha: The next question comes from our Twitter Poll. The people voted and they want to know whose belly is bigger at this point. You or center Jaymon Kirk?
“Oh, hahahah, I didn’t expect that question. Actually, Jaymon and I have compared measurements. He’s still winning, but I’m catching up rapidly!”
Marisha: “Alright Sam, of course we have to ask a football question. Do you have any projections for the playoffs? Are the Panthers going all the way?”
“Well Marisha, the 49ers have a really strong defense, and everyone knows the Eagles are a well-balanced team. We’re going to take things one game at a time and try to play our best football and see how things go.”
Marisha: “And last question Sam, at the risk of getting too much information, can you tell us about your labor and delivery plans? We know many pregnant men opt for a c-section. Can you tell us about how you’re intending to give birth?”
“Oh, ya. I try not to think about the labor and delivery part, hahaha! My OBGYN is actually encouraging me to try a natural birth and I’ve been working hard on my preparation for labor. I want to show men that they don’t have to settle for a c-section if they don’t want to. My medical team is just obviously worried about the size of the baby because, you know, Mac is a pretty big guy and, well, you can understand the challenge.” You nod your head with certainty and cuddle your burgeoning belly again, “I just want a healthy baby in the end; that’s my focus.”
Marisha: “Well, there you have it everyone. Thanks for talking to us today, Sam. You’re a trailblazer on and off the field. We wish you and the Panthers the best in the playoffs!”
PART 3
“Hey man, you have a nice nap?” Mac asks.
You stretch, “oh, sure did!” as you sit up on the couch.
“Kelly’s still asleep. I just checked on her,” he says holding the baby monitor in his hand.
You smile, thankful that you have a supportive partner like Mac.
“So, I was wondering if you want to watch the video now?” he asks.
You’re finally ready to say yes. It’s been 4 weeks since you gave birth to baby Kelly and you’re ready to see what happened that night at the Superbowl.
“Ok, let’s see here,” Max says as he sets up the video on the TV in the cozy living room. “You want to start with the beginning?” You nod, “yep, start from the beginning.”
The recording begins with your team, the Panthers, taking the field at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. As you watch, your heart begins to beat rapidly as the memory of the big game reenters your mind. You watch the screen and see yourself run through the tunnel and onto the field alone. You snicker for a second at the gigantic belly on the screen. Sitting on the couch, you silently reach down and feel your tummy. It’s still a little spongy 4 weeks after giving birth, but nothing like the gargantuan 9-month preggo belly you sported at the Superbowl.
On the screen, you stand on the field facing the tunnel and your teammates emerge one-by-one. Each one stops in front of you and pays homage to your belly. Some rub it, some drum it softly, but only Mac bends down and kisses it.
As the National Anthem plays and F/A-18s flyover on the screen, you remember the extremes of excitement, anxiety, desire, and fear you felt going into the biggest football game of your life.
Then the game starts. You watch the Denver Broncos, your opponent, score a field goal on their first possession. Then you watch your first drive of the game. You complete three passes to start the drive, then you watch in amazement at the fourth pass to Mac. He’s triple covered, but you manage to place a pass in a tiny window between the defender’s outstretched arms as Mac leaps high into the air and brings down the pass for a 28-yard gain. You look over to Mac beside you on the couch, “that was so amazing dude!” He chuckles, “yep, it was a perfect pass QB1.”
The first half ends with the game tight, the Panthers leading 24 to 20. You and Mac sit on the couch and watch Usher perform the halftime show. The music is amazing, but you recall how loud the stadium was and remember how the vibrations echoed through your big belly uncomfortably. Then you remember letting Mac passionately fuck your ripe pregnant body in the locker room before the second half started. That part was pretty fun.
You watch yourself run onto the field for the second half and remember the feelings in your belly. At the time, you thought it was just nerves, or maybe your belly protector was a bit misaligned. Looking back, you know that you were actually feeling contractions.
On the couch, you watch the play in the third quarter. You didn’t play as well, distracted by the strange sensations in your belly. After a bad possession, the camera focuses on you sitting on the bench. You see yourself grimace. The commentator questions if something about your pregnancy is impacting your performance. You remember feeling odd squeezes in your middle and the unmistakable sense that the baby was moving lower in your birth canal. You also remember actively ignoring the obvious signs of labor to focus on the game.
As you watch the fourth quarter, you see yourself in the huddle. Other people probably missed it, but you see that you’re standing with your legs spread, trying to get relief from the building pressure in your pelvis. The drive ends with a disappointing field goal for your team. The game is now tied at 34. The next possessions result in an interception thrown by the Bronco’s Russcel Wilber, a fumble by your running back, and then a punt by the Broncos.
You get the ball back 92 yards from the endzone with 2 minutes and 12 seconds remaining in the tied game. In the huddle, your teammates can see your distress. You’re honest with them, telling them that you think you’re having early contractions, but you say that the baby’s a long way from coming. You catch Mac grinning, excited for his baby to be born. You manage a sly grin back to him before the wave of another contraction sweeps through your body.
The resulting drive is difficult with several incomplete passes and small gains from your running back. With 6 seconds left in the game, the Panthers have only made it to the 48-yard line. It’s too far for a field goal, so you must try for a touchdown on the next play or the game will go to overtime. In the huddle, you call a pass play. Your primary target will be Mac, but you have 2 backup receivers and the running back also available. You also call a secondary play. You’ll use it as an audible if needed. The secondary play is a quarterback scramble to the left. The play will expose your body and put the baby at risk.  Mac yells, “no way!” but you brush him off. “Just do your job and block if I call for the audible,” you say decisively. The stadium rocks with excitement as you break the huddle.
At the line of scrimmage, you see the defensive backs and safeties are playing far down the field. They’re willing to give up a short gain in order to prevent a touchdown. It’s a perfect setup for your quarterback scramble.
You scream, “White eighty, White eighty….” Then your body launches into a new contraction. You feel your belly tense mightily, making your knees shake. You whimper to yourself as your teammates glance back, wondering why you’re hesitating. You feel a jolt of pain in your pelvis, but you gather your strength and scream, “Alert, Alert!!!” This indicates that you’re switching to the secondary play. Then you tap your helmet, letting the team know that you’re reversing the play and will scramble to the right, away from the big linebacker you identified on the left side of the field.
The center snaps the ball into your hands as your contraction starts to letup. For a second, you hold the ball like you’re going to throw, further disguising your intent. Then you tuck the ball under your right arm and take off to the right side of the field. Your gigantic belly sways from side to side and bounces as you plod along. You’re so much slower compared to your pre-pregnant form. As you pass your right tackle, you turn your momentum up field towards the endzone. You can clearly see the 11 defenders who are determined to stop your run. The crowd noise is unfathomable.
You move your legs as quickly as possible, but it’s frustrating how slow you are with the big baby weighing you down. A defensive end gets close to you, but Alec, the receiver whose dick you suck weekly, pushes him out of the way and you get 10 yards closer to your goal. Then a safety gets close to you. In the corner of your eye, you see Deandre, who also cums in your mouth weekly, closing in for a block. You intuit that he wants you to fake the defender right, then cut left. You follow his plan, enabling him to perfectly block the safety.
As you try to will your legs to run harder, another squeeze grips your belly. You can’t help but grunt, “UHHHH,” as you run. The pressure between your tired legs moves downwards from your pelvis and into your crotch as you try to focus on the goal line. Somehow, the crowd has managed to get even louder, encouraging you to continue.
More defenders try to stop you, but you’re so connected with your teammates, that you perfectly coordinate with them like they’re pawns protecting their attacking queen on a chessboard. Eventually, you’re 11 yards from scoring, but you see the big right linebacker on a collision course that will cut you off before you reach the endzone.
You decide to take him on headfirst, determined to get the ball across the goal line. He’ll undoubtedly cream you, but you don’t have another choice. Your womb continues to squeeze relentlessly as you brace for impact with the hulking football player. Suddenly, you see the big linebacker disappear like he simply vanished. Then you see Mac beside you. Your teammate, your lover, your baby’s daddy, your fiancé, has eliminated the threat by hurling the linebacker 10 yards to the side.
You cross the goal line with no time left on the clock and you spike the ball with vigor. Mac lifts you onto his shoulders and your teammates circle around to celebrate as the crowd roars.
Before you know it, you’re on a stage with your head coach, teammates, the Panther’s owner, and the NFL commissioner. They hand you the glistening Lombardi trophy. It’s heavier than you expected. You enjoy the trophy for a second, then give it to your teammates as the crowd continues to cheer.
A fine-looking reporter, Elise Anderson, puts a microphone in front of your face. “WOW! Sam, what an ending! Was that last play something you’ve been working on all year?”
You smile, “wow, ya, what a play! Honestly, no. I was simply responding to what the defense gave me. We called a pass play in the huddle, but when I saw the defense, I changed the play. And wow, my teammates blocked perfectly. It’s a testament to how close we’ve gotten this year. It’s like we can read each other’s minds on the field.”
The commissioner hands you the Most Valuable Player trophy. Elise continues, “ok M.V.P, we have to ask, how are you and the baby feeling?” Her question makes something switch in your head. For the past 20 minutes you’ve been so elated by the win that you somehow forgot about the contractions.
Your face goes blank as something strange happens. There’s a tug deep inside your womb, then a pull, then a feeling like a pop. You can almost hear the sound. Then you feel a surge of incredible pressure in your pelvis that radiates into your crotch. You know it’s the baby’s head ramming lower. The feeling of your insides stretching is unusual and unsettling. 
The whole world sees a big wet spot grow in your grey football pants. Your water broke on the stage at the Superbowl. You remember the feeling, like a deluge of warm fluid suddenly soaked down your legs.
The intense sensations make you double over and throw your head back with a loud groan, “NNNNNNNN! Ho, Ho, NNNNNNNNN!” You shove the MVP trophy back to the commissioner, freeing your hands to rub your contracting sphere of a belly.
Elise asks, “um, Sam, are you ok?” You reply without thinking, “uh, I’ve been in labor since halftime I think.” The crowd becomes silent as you go on. “Oh, oh, shit this hurts!” You cradle your belly, trying to find relief.
Your vision narrows as the pain catches up with you. You don’t see Dr German, your OBGYN, leap on stage and sprint to you. You feel her soft hands rub your belly and she says soothingly, “hey Sam, can you tell me what you’re feeling?” You open your eyes and tell her, “oh, so much pressure and, UHHHHHHHHHH, I’m, HUUUUUUUU, definitely contracting.” You see her glance around to evaluate options.
Finally, she says, “hey Sam, there’s so many people in the way. We’ll be stuck here for at least 10 minutes. Um, I think I should check you right here.” You nod, so focused on labor that you don’t consider you’re about to let all of America see your nude, pregnant body.
She swiftly pulls down your tight football pants and removes your belly protector, then helps you lay back on the stage. You instinctively spread your thicc thighs wide as she kneels between your splayed legs. Your big, exposed belly jiggles and bounces from your labored breaths, then the belly undulates and ripples with the power of a potent contraction.
The doctor puts one hand on your contracting belly and when it relaxes, she pushes her hand into your male birth canal, making you exhale, “uhh, hoooooo.” You remember how big her hand felt and the bonieness of her knuckles pushing into your birth canal. 
On the couch you look over to Mac in horror. “So, the whole world saw this? They all watched me spread my legs and get fisted by my doctor?”
He’s direct, “ohh, it gets way worse.” You just shake your head. He goes on, “the networks blocked most of this on their broadcasts, but there were so many people with phones that your entire labor and delivery is all over the internet.”
You sigh, “well, I did want to show men they don’t have to settle for a c-section. I just didn’t intend to do it quite so…well…literally.”
Back in the video Dr German says, “listen, Sam. You’re more than nine centimeters dilated and fully effaced. You’re going to have the baby right here, there’s no time to move you.” You just nod, completely frightened at the idea of giving birth. She looks up to the onlookers and starts directing them. “Mac, I need you on one side. Coach, you take the other. You guys are going to hold his legs when it’s time to push. Someone get warm water and towels from the trainers. FAST! And get an ambulance ready to transport them after delivery!”
The next contractions completely overpower you. You remember the sensation, like your abdomen was being pressed down by 1000 elephants. The pain radiates through your lower back as the pressure somehow gets even more intense. Then your body relaxes, and you exhale with a, “mmm, heeeee, hoo.”
Your break is short and another wave, like the strongest cramp you’ve ever experienced, hits you. You cry out, “MMMMMM, MMMMMM, MMMMMM,” trying to ride it out until you get another break.
Dr German slides her hand into you again and you respond to the invasion with a sharp, “Uggggg, Huuuu.” She glances to the onlookers, “ok, it’s baby time! Can you guys hold his legs? Use both hands to give him a base to push against.” She reaches up and grabs a towel from the trainer and places it under your rear.
Then she addresses you, “alright Sam. It’s time. Just like we’ve talked about, you’ve got this. When you feel the urge, go ahead and bear down and focus your power down here.” She points to your red, puffy, exposed birth canal.
Mac takes your right leg into his hands and coach takes your left and they help you spread your legs wide. On the couch, you groan, weirded out at the sight of yourself so vulnerable and exposed.
Then a massive wave of pressure overwhelms your senses. For a second, you don’t know what to do. Your body guides you, and you curl yourself over your big, round belly and you push. Somehow, it’s the most natural thing you’ve ever felt. Your body was made to birth this baby.
Having the push to center your attention makes the contraction hurt less, but the feeling of your baby being slowly propelled through your birth canal is outlandishly bizarre.
When the contraction finally ends, you exhale loudly, “heeeee!” You look to Mac for reassurance, and he says, “good job, hun!” and rubs your inner thigh.   
 Dr German reminds you to breathe on the next contraction. You manage another strong push while panting, “MMMMMM, he, he, HO, MMMMMM, he, he, HO, MMMMMM, he, he, HO.”
Your next break is even shorter, and a crushing contraction takes over before you’re ready for it. You bellow loudly, “HUUUUUUU, he, he, ho, HUUUUUUU, he, he, ho, HUUUUUUU, he, he, ho.”
On the screen you see yourself shake and quiver. Your face is red and sweat runs down your face. You even manage to have a popped out vein on your forehead.
Dr German assesses your birth canal and looks above your big belly to your face. “Sam, this is a really big girl. You need to push hard!”
Her words make you mad. “I AM PUSHING HARD!” you retort. Before she can reply, your belly contorts with another contraction and your familiar labor sounds come again.
As you get a break, you turn your anger to Mac. “You did this to me! Why did I ever have sex with you! Never again. Your penis is never coming close to me again!”
Dr German says, “save your strength Sam. Another one is coming.”
The next contraction slams you, and you push hard, bearing down with everything you have. You feel progress and the baby moves closer to your exit. But the progress comes with an overwhelming sensation that your insides are being stretched to their breaking point.
Your eyes go wide from the pain and you push again, making the feeling of ripping crescendo. You yell, “I can’t. I’m splitting open!” Dr German reassures you, “everything is normal Sam. Having a baby just hurts.”
On the couch, you turn to Mac, “I see what you mean about it getting worse.” He just smirks back. You continue, “sorry that I was so loud, wow.” He shrugs, “honestly, man, it was kinda sexy the way you were bellowing.”
Back on the screen you have a break and take several pulses of deep breaths, making your tummy jiggle and wobble.
The next contraction brings a deep grunt while you push, “HUUUUUUUUGGGGGG” and then a staccato exclamation when you breathe, “hi, hi, hi, hi!” Then you push again with the same deep grunt. This time, you feel a stinging sensation in your crotch. The next push turns the sting into a fiery burning.
Mac says, “Sam, I can see her head!” His words excite your tired body, and you bear down again with a mighty push. This time, you can feel your exit start to widen for the baby’s head.
“Do you want to reach down and feel?” Dr German asks. You don’t answer, but your left hand slides down your belly and finds your baby’s head that’s pushed you partially open. “Oh, oh my gosh!” you exclaim before a contraction makes you bear down again.
Your body pushes hard, and you shake from the effort. You grunt as usual, “GUUUUUUUHHHH!” then you recover with a “HI, HI, HI, Haaa!”
The next push spreads you a little wider, but then you have three excruciating contractions without much progress.
Dr German is focused on your birth canal, but she says, “this is a really big baby. Can you guys widen his legs more?” Coach and Mac yank you even wider. You feel something release in your pelvis and you know the next push with be fruitful.
The next push makes the head widen your birth canal into a nearly full crown. You turn to Mac on the couch with your eyes wide. “I can’t believe I did this.” He nods, “me too dude. I wouldn’t have believed it if I wasn’t there.”
The sound of your scream pulls your attention back to the screen. You’re pushing again, making the head bulge out each time you bear down. “HAAAAAAA, hii! hii! hii!”
You remember the final push. Something deep inside gave you an extra ounce of strength and you bore down with extreme power. You felt yourself spread wider, and wider, and wider preparing to oust your big baby from your body.
On the couch, you watch in amazement at how obscenely wide the baby spread you. Then, baby Kelly shot free. You remember the moment of extreme pain. On the screen you screech, “AYYYYAAAAA!” Then the pain vanished, and baby Kelly was in your arms. In the video, an ambulance arrives, and you’re swiftly loaded up and transported to the hospital. 
You look at Mac. “Wow, honestly, I kinda blanked out most of the delivery from my memory. That was insane.” He agrees, “ya dude, sure was. You were amazing and so strong”
Then he gets a twinkle in his eye, “hey Sam, Kelly is still asleep. You wanta…you know…maybe…”
You say sadly, “Mac, I’m sorry dude. Doctor German said I’m not ready to receive yet. I know you have needs, but I just can’t right now.”
He’s a little timid, “um, Sam, I was thinking it might be me on the receiving end this time.” Your eyes go wide, and he says, “I think I’m ready to tryout that beautiful dick of yours, just…you know…go easy on me. And maybe, you know, I might even get to be the one to carry our next baby.”
-THE END-
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crazy-so-na-sega · 1 year ago
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fanno chiasso q.b. perché passi inosservato.
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journaldecuisine · 5 days ago
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Polpettone di Lenticchie
Questo polpettone si prepara con verdure invece del pesce, si usano zucchine, carote, lenticchie, patate, non è difficile la preparazione, puoi accompagnarlo con delle patate al forno piuttosto che delle verdure grigliate, purè di piselli, polenta, c’è davvero l’imbarazzo della scelta.
Ingredienti per 6 persone
350 g di lenticchie secche 2 patate 1 zucchina 1 carota 1 cipolla un mazzetto di prezzemolo pangrattato q.b. sale q.b. pepe nero q.b. olio extra vergine di oliva q.b.
Per la preparazione del polpettone iniziamo a lavare le lenticchie e lasciamole cuocere in una pentola con acqua e scoliamole a cottura terminata, basteranno 30 minuti. Poi laviamo tutte le verdure, sbucciamo però le patate, tagliamole a dadini e cuciniamole al vapore, schiacciamole e teniamole da parte.
Tagliamo a dadini zucchina, carota, sedano, teniamo in una ciotola, aggiungiamo la cipolla sbucciata, mettiamo nella padella con olio extra vergine di oliva e lasciamo rosolare per una decina di minuti, saliamo.
Frulliamo le lenticchie e mettiamo in una ciotola ampia, aggiungiamo le verdure, le patate schiacciate, mescoliamo per bene, aggiungiamo sale, pepe e impastiamo per bene.
Una volta ottenuto un impasto omogeneo lo trasferiamo su un foglio di carta forno, diamo la forma del polpettone e distribuiamo il pan grattato che deve coprire tutta la superfice. Mettiamo in una pirofila da forno e aggiungiamo olio extra vergine di oliva, il prezzemolo tritato, avvolgiamo nella carta forno. Inforniamo in forno caldo e lasciamo cuocere in forno ventilato a 180°C per 35-40 minuti, spegniamo e serviamo a fette.
Buon Appetito!
www.ricettasprint.it/a-natale-preparo-anche-il-polpettone-senza-carne-accontento-tutti-gli-ospiti-pure-i-parenti-vegani/o!
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motel-babilonia · 1 month ago
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Malice Q.b._
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daniela--anna · 6 months ago
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🥒PASTA CON PESTO DI POMODORI SECCHI E ZUCCHINE
Un primo piatto perfetto per la bella stagione
📝INGREDIENTI
PER LA PASTA
- 400 gr di trofie
- 1 zucchina
- Olio d’oliva q.b.
- Sale q.b.
PER IL PESTO DI POMODORI SECCHI
- 90 gr pomodori secchi sott’olio (sgocciolati)
- ½ spicchio di aglio
- 50 gr noci
- Basilico q.b. (qualche foglia)
- 40 gr formaggio grattugiato
- 80 gr olio d’oliva
- 1 pizzico di sale
#ricettavegetariana
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io-rimango · 8 months ago
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Stamani mi sono imbattuta in questo fiore per strada e non ho potuto fare a meno di pensare a questa scena di “Alice nel paese delle meraviglie”, (era un cartone animato che da bambina guardavo in continuazione, ho letteralmente consumato la cassetta).
Se allora mi avessi chiesto il motivo della mia ossessione per questa ragazzina bionda e ingenua, ti avrei risposto che avrei tanto voluto vivere le sue avventure strampalate, trovare il mio Bianconiglio, seguirlo e fuggire via da una realtà troppo stretta per me.
Se ad oggi qualcosa è cambiato da allora? Vediamo un po’, sono decisamente enigmatica come lo stregatto, ritardataria come il Bianconiglio, allegra e di compagnia come il Cappellaio Matto, autoritaria (q.b.) come la Regina di Cuori e ahimè… ancora un’inguaribile sognatrice come Alice.
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ossicodone · 1 year ago
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In automedica guadagno 400 euro a turno, turno di dodici ore. Spesso ho fatto turni da ventiquattro, trentasei ore, dormendo il Q.B.
Se prendessi mettiamo il caso in trenta giorni, un turno al giorno, avrei un guadagno netto di 12.000 euro mensili. Ora, se ci mettiamo anche qualche straordinario potrei arrivare a 15,000 euro, che non sono pochi per carità, ma quando vivo?
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sobreiromecanico · 3 months ago
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Diálogo
Uma das coisas de que tenho saudades na blogosfera é do diálogo constante que havia entre blogues, com citações frequentes, concordâncias e discordâncias, e polémicas q.b.. Bom, as polémicas talvez dispensasse, mas o diálogo mais alargado entre blogues faz falta. Está toda a gente absorvida pelas redes sociais e pela armadilha da conveniência: sim, são práticas para colocar pessoas a conversar, sobretudo à distãncia, mas são péssimas para a preservação dessas conversas, e não convidam ao desenvolvimento de algo mais elaborado (a menos que se tenha a paciência do Cory Doctorow e dos ensaios repartidos por dezenas ou centenas de tweets que publica). É tudo mais imediato, mais superficial, mais perecível. Mas ainda restam alguns blogues, e vale a pena ir deixando algumas referência e agradecimentos em forma de artigo (até porque as caixas de comentários caíram em desuso, e de certa forma ainda bem).
No Intergalactic Robot, o Artur referiu dois artigos que publiquei aqui há algumas semanas - referência que agradeço. E já agora: sim, é possível que haja alguma bizarria no Tumblr, e não só nos feeds RSS; por exemplo, neste momento sempre que faço um link para algum artigo do blogue na BlueSky, não consigo fazer com que seja feita uma pré-visualização, como conseguia até ao início de Agosto. Enfim, adiante. Um dos textos que o Artur cita é este, sobre a falta de ficção científica em Portugal, e acrescenta duas observações muitíssimo pertinentes: a falta de literacia generalizada e de hábitos de leitura da população portuguesa, mesmo da mais escolarizada e à partida mais "culta"; e a valorização quase exclusiva da cultura dita erudita. Seria uma conversa que daria para um longo debate, sem dúvida.
No Efeitos Secundários, o Luís - que, insisto, devia escrever mais, e mais vezes - deixou há uns dias um artigo de fim de Verão onde fez aqui ao sobreiro uma referência simpática. Obrigado, Luís. Escreve mais, que a gente lê.
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(entretanto, e só para ilustrar o texto, deixo aqui a foto de um gato madeirense que fotografei há dois anos e meio no Funchal)
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