#not-love-letters

[dwead-piwate-meggers]

It Seems Like I Should Say, "As Long As This Is Love"

Chapter 5 (1, 2, 3, 4)

Fed up with dealing with her feelings alone, Charlotte begins to write some letters. She doesn’t send them. She can’t send them. But at least she can pretend to tell him how she feels. Spoilers for Book 3.

Adam du Mortain x f!detective rating: t warnings: none Read Chapter 5 on Ao3

tag list: @brightpinkpeppercorn

The Warehouse

Written on Agency Letterhead

Here we are again. Penning the things I can’t (won’t) say to your face. I suppose I should be flattered that you seem to believe that I’m fearless. Are you so wrapped up in yourself that you can’t sense it? Or do I hide it so well that even a vampire can’t tell?

I’m not fearless, Adam. I wish I was. Christ, do I wish I was. It might make all of this easier. I'm not though. I'm scared. So scared. Of so many things. Of being the source of all this trouble for my home. Of watching you and Morgan and Nate and Farah put yourselves on the line for me, again and again. Of having to spend the rest of my life running and fighting just to be free. Life expectancy keeps creeping up - I could live well past 80. I’ve got a lot of fight in me (you know that). I don’t know if I have another 50 years of it.

The day’s going to come that I’m too tired to run or fight anymore. I’m scared of… of being taken again. Of being someone else’s experiment. Of being a tool, a battery. Being used to commit who knows what monstrosities. Of… of all… of that.

And I’m scared of loving you.

I have… Historically, the people I have loved lie to me and leave me. Overtly or by omission, through death or abandonment, I’m lied to and left.

I don’t know if you’ve ever lied to me. I'd like to think you haven’t, that you wouldn’t. But you've hidden things, haven’t you? Sometimes it’s been because of orders. (And we can debate the morality of that another time.) Sometimes, though, sometimes it hasn’t. (I don’t mean your family. That’s personal. That was your right to keep to yourself.) DMB? Trappers? There wasn’t really a reason not to explain those to me, not when I had clearance (I had clearance, didn’t I?) but you wanted to keep that information from me anyway. And maybe that’s not the same as an outright lie, but damn if secrets don’t feel close.

As for death or abandonment…well. Given your functional immortality, I’ve got a feeling for which of the two options is more likely. We sort of live there, don’t we?

C.

[octoberloved]

[perfectfeelings]

Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.

Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[star-girlfriend]

Did u get my vibes man?

[latepivi]

happy au i don't know her

[loveelizabeths]

there is a love in which i will always know you, just incase you forget.

love elizabeth s.

[itsbrucey]

Big fan of sun motifs in characters not necessarily being about positivity and happiness and how they're so " bright and warm" but instead being about fucking brutal they are.

Radiant. A FORCE of nature that will turn you to ash. That warmth that burns so hot it feels like ice. Piercing yellow and red and white. A character being a Sun because you cannot challenge a Sun without burning alive or taking everything down with them if victorious.

[mrgrim]

Hot heavy obsessive possessive romantic passionate lustful love. If not, what’s the point.

[mournfulroses]

Vladimir Mayakovsky, from a letter featured in "Love in the Heart of Everything; The Correspondence between Vladimir Mayakovsky & Lili Brik, 1915-1930,"

[shisasan]

From February 16 to 17, 1913 Letters to Felice by Franz Kafka First published : 1973

[notholaenas]

another gotham gazette exclusive 🤭

insta

[octoberloved]

[stimmingandstruggling]

i’m still figuring out how redbook works so i can’t share the video here yet, but y’all.

a woman made a post on tiktok talking about li hua, a pseudonym students in china learning english would write under to american “pen pals.” these letters were never sent. apparently it was crazy common, hundreds of letters have been written from li hua.

and people have started saying they feel like li hua is getting a response.

this woman posted this on tiktok and the comments were full of people writing responses, apologizing to li hua for not being in touch for so long. and one american mentioned how when they were a kid they dug holes in the beach and thought if they dug deep enough they could reach china all the way on the other side of the world, and that just awoke some MEMORIES. like, i did that. i dug holes in the sand and wondered how close i was. “as children we dug holes at the beach to try to get to you. we wondered what you’d be like our whole lives.”

the same woman made a post talking about THAT on redbook, saying it feels like we’ve both been just struggling to reach each other for so long. “i suddenly realize, this meeting was actually a two way effort. it’s like you’ve done a lot of hard work and come a long way before a date, and the wait was too long that you gradually started to forget the original intention of embarking on this road, and began to doubt, is your date real? suddenly one day, they really appeared in front of you and tell you i also made an effort to see you. and that’s a wonderful thing.”

idk that just made me cry a bit. i’ve seen a couple people refer to the feeling of being a little kid at the playground again, awkward and clumsy and sometimes hurting each other but everyone just eager to meet and share what they love.

[ciearcab]

beyond the distant horizon