#not very structured
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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Guys. Guys they’re miners. They’re tiny cogless miners. Guys
I blacked out and filled the whole three canvases with sketches of them being itty bitty goobers. Figured Imma show you some haha
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#tf one#transformers one#tf one jazz#tf one prowl#jazzprowl#<- if you want it to be haha#I can’t stop thinking#like#I check ao3 very regularly and#okay bruh just. I know the movie absolutely wasnt about Jazz nor Prowl but I still feel the urge to write something about them#just like. slice of life thing but considering their life is kinda sucks because of the whole no-cog thing#Jazz talks smth like twice for the whole movie and Prowl doesn’t talk at all. That’s a lot of creative freedom to write haha#I want them to do their classic stealth missions type of shit but this time without any actual support from any kind of system#you get me#they both usually have some kind of command structure behind them. I want them to be absolutely broke low class tiny goobers#and still manage to pull their usual shady crazy stuff#idk#something like that
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Soulmates are inherently amatonormative and it's so wild how many people refuse to acknowledge that and instead go around trying to "make it more inclusive" which mostly just leads to then forcing aspec characters into a amatonormative narrative.
#text#aro#ace#aromantic#asexual#aroace#amatonormativity#soulmates#soulmate aus#Like no allowing QPRs into ur soulmates stories does not fix the core issue#you just put QPRs into a amatonormative role that the story relies upon#no saying friends can be your soulmate isn't inclusive it's still putting aspecs into an amatonormative structure#Soulmates at their very core are inherently amatonormative. they do not work if they aren't#you trying to force aspecs into the mold of soulmates will never fix the main issue.#it's not that there are no aspec characters in soulmate content its that the world around soulmates is inherently against aspecs in general#it's not that Aspecs don't show up. it's the fact the universe itself is inherently hostile to the idea of aspec people#it's the fact that the reason aspecs dont show up is because it goes against what the soulmates trope dictates to be true#the soulmate trope erases us from existence completely. because no matter what we will never fit into it's ideal narrative.
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also, i think it's very interesting how that friend of vi who she met on the streets of piltover immediately gets out when he sees caitlyn is accepting what ambessa is proposing. he gets that it's not about saving people, that what ambessa wants (and caitlyn is going to do) is targeted violence, on top of a structural system that created this mess in the first place. she's now only seeking revenge.
and can we talk about how Vi and Caitlyn on the lore were always Vi punching and asking later, and Caitlyn being the most "careful" one, and now in Arcane we're seeing the absolute opposite? i think that's so fascinating to watch because, especially with the little lore we have, when making headcanons, a lot of ppl put vi in this position of carelessness and caitlyn reasoning her. but right now we're seeing the complete opposite because Vi had years to put her anger out in prison (bc of very unfortunate situations), but caitlyn not only is a person that is out in world while in her anger phase of grief, but also is on an authority position and has free access to weapons and is being manipulated by someone who is exploiting her anger to the extent of using outside army
#also i guess this is what happens when you don't study to understand the structural exploitative system folks#at the first tension you get blinded by anger to the point of dehumanizing ppl who were already being dehumanized#also I'd like to know how the show is going to handle this#bc i don't wanna have implicit messages which is frequently the case for a lot of media dealing with those topics#they very frequently don't go where they need to go. and we only have 6 episodes left so#I'm really curious and tense about ir#but we'll have to wait#screaming crying going insane#arcane#arcane season two#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#arcane series#arcane show#caitlyn kiramman#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#arcane vi#caitvi#caitlyn and vi#vi and caitlyn#violyn
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Rain - The Dark Urge Memento Comic
⇐ Previous | Memento of The Dark Urge | Next ⇒
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#the dark urge#durge#astarion ancunin#shadowheart#gale dekarios#aerister#bg3 comic#lil' doots#im still very new to panels and a more structured comic format so this was a very fun and challenging experience#I do have at least 1 more chapter planned along side auxiliary works#i finally got bg3 back on my pc after the hard drive nuke a couple months back and now i can indulge in the dark endings and mods!!!
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Good Morning, World.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket.#The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home.#Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!'#WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role.#He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against.#Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC.#Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules.#That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together.#And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful.#It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain.#JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.'#and WWX said '[read]'#It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.
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I love how extreme found family is in one piece. Like they took supernatural line of "Family don't end in blood" and actually made good on it. Because it's not just that the crew found each other even before that only really very briefly Robin, Usopp and Luffy could say that anyone biologically related to them raised them.
Like Luffy had Garp and that's his grandpa but he also had Makino and Shanks and the red hair pirates and they were a family unit and he also had Ace, Sabo Dandan and the bandits and they were a family as well and it's never who mattered more to Luffy or who actually raised him cause they all did. It'd be hard to put him in a nuclear family structure because so many people fill the same roles in his life in different ways and that's great like Kung Fu panda said "that doesn't mean less for one parent it just means more for Luffy"
And that's the thing I think sometime fandom can get very obsessive with trying to pin down who is whose surrogate father/mother how do they fit in the nuclear family structure and while that's fun and there's nothing wrong with head cannon characters that way I also think it's important to remember that not every relationship needs a title or definition sometimes you are just family and that's valid too.
Ace had Luffy and Garp but he also had the whitebeard pirates and his pops same with Sabo and the revolutionaries
Zoro with Kuina and his old kendo master, that was maybe more of a rivals, mentor mentee relationship than whatever Mihawk Zoro and Perona had going on but it's all family none the less.
Chopper with Hiririluk and Kureha. Perona and Moria, Usopp with the little village boys and Kaya. Shanks and Buggy with the Roger Pirates. They might not all have had defined roles with each other but it was still family.
Just like Sanji, Nami, Franky and Law and their more defined Surrogate familes
And people like Vivi Robin Usopp and Shirahoshi who had/have their biological parents/family that love them and raised them.
It's nobody that I've just mentioned properly fitting squarely into any of these categories because it's all complicated family is complicated and its messy and it's big and everyone in your family might not have even met but it's family and it doesn't end in blood and for some people it never started there either.
#what does it mean to be family? maybe there's a lower barrier to entry than we thought#I don't know as someone who has been raised atleast partially by many different people most not related to me#and has a very large and sprawling extended family#complicated family structures means everything to me#like yes let me not be able to connect the dot let different people mean the same thing but different things to the same perosn#Shanks was Luffy's dad but he was also his drunk uncle and his much older brother he's also his friend#Garp is luffy's grandad but he's also not his friend he's his father and his mentor garp thought him how to fight.#Rayleighs just some old dude that believes in him but he's Shanks dad but to luffy he's just a mentor and maybe a friend#Like yes just because we cant draw the dots on how we are connetcted together doesnt mean it's not family#op#straw hat pirates#straw hat luffy#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#nami#sanji#tony tony chopper#nico robin#trafalgar law#monkey d garp#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#asl brothers#asl trio#nakamaship#straw hats#franky one piece#usopp#goth family#one piece
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Fashion of the Great Houses of Westeros: House Tully of Riverrun
#asoiafedit#asongoficeandfireedit#valyrianscrolls#valyriansource#tullyedit#housetullyedit#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#house tully#ghf*#mine*#this is actually the first house i visualised in a fashion sense way back when#i watched claire mccarthy's ophelia in 2020 and saw all the gorgeous flowy gowns and daisy ridley's red wig and just went 'tully!!!'#I know the Riverlands are very rich and populous due to their centralisation but in my mind#they’re also a little behind culturally due to the constant battles and invasions#so the style of their fashion is a little less structured and complex than what you’d find in the westerlands or the vale or the stormlands#and also the cut of the outfits is reminiscent of what you’d find in both the iron islands and the north which echoes the impact#both kingdoms have had on the region#that doesn’t mean they skimp on fabric or aesthetic though!!#there's lots of flowy silks and shiny fabrics that evok running water#women wear their hair either loose or in intricate braids held with metal rings (a holdover from the three centuries of durrandon reign)#also THEE beetle wing lady macbeth dress is here in spirit!!!#500*
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A Linked Universe meets The Dark Crystal AU! I don't even remember what started it at this point. I remembered that the Dark Crystal and Age of Resistance are things I like, blinked, and woke up three days later with an AU and a bunch of art.
The designs and the story are a wip and for fun so expect a lot of variation! (I have a few different beginnings, ideas for different designs, etc)! :D
In addition to #linked universe I'll be using the tags #the dark crystal lu au and #courage of the dark crystal!
#linked universe#tdc aor#the dark crystal lu au#courage of the dark crystal#lu au au#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu four#lu wind#I've made an au of the au I've gone too far help help-#I gotta get better at drawing gelfling! Their facial structures are very distinct#ALSO I went really big with the ears here lmao#the hugest ears ever seen on gelfling#TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE YIPPEE!!!!#I drew this last month (except for Four) sO HAPPY PRIDE! Roolie gets WINGS! :D#I'm SO pleased with Wind's design! he's a lil fishy! and Four with the horned headband/armor in place of the lil ups in his bangs#gonna try to put the aureyal or symbol of the conjunction and triangles on all of them#IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE AU PLS ASK THEM#I'd love to tackle some worldbuilding mayhaps?!#I'm thinking of placing them somewhere before the first battle of stone-in-the-wood in the arathim wars#or after the events of the comics with Kensho and Thurma somewhere#and just figure out another reason for the crystal to be shattered. so many possibilities!#where's the crystal shard this time and how can I split it between them? >:3 niiiiine shards made whole >:3#quest for the ~~triforce~~ crystal#Hello from summer camp also! Lots of shenanigans!#I'm surprised I was able to draw Four at all last weekend I've been so busy!!!#having fun tho!!! we're having a lunch cookout at archery and campfire is tonight!!! It's going good! see ya!!!
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YOU LIED TO US
#gideon the ninth#cytherea the first#cytherea loveday#I must post this because the bone worm structure shading had fried my brain but still very fun#the locked tomb#tlt#horror#gothic#she’s so correct#gtn#htn#my art#bones#creature
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Jacob Elordi for Man About Town
#kids used to bully him for being too pretty they would chase him around the playground shouting pretty face pretty face#hes soooo. no words like thats just a very pretty man.#i am so jealous of his bone structure and hair#plus the masc lesbian lookalike wardrobe#jacob elordi#man about town
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"You risked your own life to protect so much.
I couldn't bear to let that go to waste."
#trigun maximum#trigun maximum spoilers#trimax#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#vash trimax#vash trigun#my art#black coat vash changed my dna structure#i am very normal about him
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Triptych
#do. do you see my vision#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#aj arts#orv spoilers#i guess#anyway this was very fun#wikipedia poem#yoohankim#text is from the Wikipedia pages for:#lichen. star system. polaris. black hole. author. protagonist#and tripartite#lichen can be a symbiosis of fungi and algae or cyanobacteria; or it can have all three#gravitational lensing is the term for the visual distortion around black holes as it bends light. some of it gets mirrored#youll see it in artist renditions of black holes#wait i also used a line from the page for three act structure
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Something that always bugs me is that the way fanfic authors have it, there's absolutely nothing between 'beloved son treated and raised precisely the same as the two blood siblings in the blood based ruling lineage' and 'despised and excluded indentured servant psychologically manipulated into having no self worth cut off from any emotional support'. This is, historically, a very, VERY recent binary, as the fostering system outgrows things like orphanages and the idea of the nuclear family is cemented.
There is a whole range of different statuses that exist between those two extremes just in Western society, and more than that outside of what I already know. Wardship, for example. Fostering without adoption. Room and board apprenticeship.
Wwx is older than jc. Him being adopted and legitimised, despite not being jiang, would cause a succession crisis. By rights, as the eldest male (and prodigious and well liked besides) he would be first to inherit in some people's eyes. Being adopted formally in this way would cause those rumours of bastardry madame yu was always banging on about (though I'm never convinced those rumours were as prevalent as she believed). Jfm would lose reputation and status, yzy would take a tremendous hit to her reputation, jc's place as heir would suddenly be cast into uncertainty, coming under intense scrutiny as people suddenly feel as though they had a choice in who to support, and wwx would be forced into a role and potential future he has absolutely no desire for. And by putting him in a position where he could become head of jiang, there's the risk that he might assassinate jc to become the undisputed heir, something impossible if he isn't brought into the family officially. Would wwx ever dream of doing so? No! Not even slightly! But it is a valid fear of the time and culture, jgy just proves that worst case scenario.
Instead of being the child prodigy coming out of nowhere, the son of respected rogue cultivators so generously taken in the jiang and well trained, suddenly he'd be 'proof' of infidelity, both families involved would become scandals, even post-humeously. As jgy and mxy prove, being a bastard is a lower social status than the right hand man of the sect heir, head disciple of a major sect. Now wrapped in gossip and scandal, they would no longer be called the prides of yunmeng.
And then of course that kind of divisive succession would backfire horrendously when lotus pier is burned and jc tries to rebuild the clan while wwx goes demonic cultivator! It would be DISASTROUS for the jiang, jc having lost a lot of his legitimacy and political support, wwx's now filthy reputation being tied even tighter to the clan, reflecting on them so much more. Worst case gossip would be that the jiang as a whole are turning to demonic cultivation. People who wanted wwx for heir would be in a very dangerous position! People who disliked jc as heir would make it even harder for him! Not that the jiangs would/could have predicted the war and the burning of the sect but fr it would have made an already nigh impossible situation even harder and more volatile.
And it's not like wwx is treated purely like a servant! He isn't going round fetching tea and carrying jcs sword and keeping one step behind. He eats every meal with them, he gets pocket money from them, he is openly and pretty universally considered siblings with the other two, and nobody except yzy acts like it's weird, or he's acting above his station for it (though people like the wens and jin aren't above trying to use that 'son of a servant' thing when they're targeting him to get their own way).
Yes, yzy is deeply insecure and blames him, yes during their goodbyes jc gets hugs and wwx gets orders. They're far from perfect. That's the most affection jc ever got from either of them. Jyl got nothing, she wasn't there. Which is pretty representative of her treatment from her parents, ngl. But wwx had support from jc, had sorta paternal support and a safe authority figure in jfm, had maternal support and care from jyl (though she shouldn't have had to, but that's a different conversation). There are actual family servants (yzy's twins) who grew up with her and were trained for it and they act very differently to wwx. For all yzy throws her weight around and jfm is a bit of a doormat, wwx grew up well cared for and well loved.
The fact that the family as a whole was pretty messed up and his part in it made it worse? That's on the family members themselves. His never arriving would not have fixed that family. For wwx, genuinely, there really wasn't anywhere else he could really go once he was orphaned. If he hadn't died on the streets perhaps he could have made it as a civilian working for someone else, dabbling in cultivation because we know him.
The wen and jin would have eaten him alive. The lans? Don't make me laugh. I love a good 'wwx gets betrothed to lwj as teens and he moves to gusu and Fixes Everything' as much as the next person but let's not kid ourselves, canon wwx would have ended up whipped to death or expelled with the way he is. As a visiting disciple he got so many punishments and kicked out not even halfway through the year! Him living there with lwj as adults is due to him 'redeeming' himself through mystery solving and lwj being fully, openly ready to ditch the sect for him. Even then they're constantly on the road night hunting and lwj being the lightning rod of all of wwx's trouble making tendencies (and being 100% down to breaking the rules with him without enacting punishment). They might accept him now but it would not have happened without lwj doing it first (and the juniors all loving him lol).
The nie? Maybe, but that would have left NHS in pretty much the exact same position as jc: inferior second fiddle, unskilled, constantly compared to him. Wwx would be in the exact same position of being pressured to tone himself down and keep his dangerous ideas to himself, and NHS would have double the fear of inevitably losing both his brothers. And of course, the nie aren't exactly as patient and laid back as the jiang sect as a whole, with their hyper aggressive murder resentment swords. The first sign of wwx acting 'outside' of the clans best interests and getting risky and he's going straight down those stairs the same way as jgy.
Tldr: there's more options to raise a kid than full adoption or abused servitude, even today, and though officially adopting wwx would have made everything SO much worse, his other options would not have survived him. He deserved better with the jiangs but frankly so did the blood kids (and the mother and the father). All three were emotionally neglected and adoption would not have fixed that.
This is why I believe that if wwx had been even a day younger than jc everyone would have been so much happier.
#mxtx#mxtx mdzs#mdzs#Yeah I mostly learned about wardship from batman lol#It's very interesting to see different ways you could formally take care of kids#Of course no matter how it happens on paper the important thing is that you actually raise them well. And no matter how you structure it#That's always up to the individual family. Every kid deserves parents or at the very least beloved adults who give them the care they need#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#jiang yanli#jiang wanyin#jiang fengmian#jiang family#yu ziyuan
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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Sleeptober day 3 – Hypnotize
bro is mesmerized fr
#ngl this one stayed in the ugly phase for so long i almost gave up#crazy how finishing details can do the trick#not very confident in the facial structure again. but i like the colour palette!#the gold tones in the eyes were a last minute addition and im glad it worked :) needed something to unify w/ the gold undereyes#anyways it's late but i am still on time! for my timezone anyways lol#goodnight gamers and meow meows i will see u tomorrow *smoochiesss*#elkk.art#cat nap#cat token#kitty token#sleep token#sleep token fanart#sleep token ii#ii sleep token#sleeptober#sleeptober 2024#do i have enough tags?????? idk 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷
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