#not to mention a four hour final for a class im going to fail

[mostlikelyshutup]

cant wait for two days from now when finals are over

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[douz12a]

Twisted | One

Summary: In which Wonho goes missing after a failed job, and MX tries to rescue him while dealing with other twisted matters that put you in danger.

Pairing: Im Changkyun x reader (you).

Genre: Mafia AU (OT7) / action / romance / slight enemies to lovers

Warnings: Curse words, mentions of blood, injury, kidnapping, murder...

Words count: 1.4K

Story inspired by this TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRxC5XmM/

Masterlist: Preview | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Final.

A/N: This story took a turn I wasn't aiming for (literally just wanted to recreate that tiktok made by jongholicx but my fingers have a mind of their own apparently!! plus, I was obsessed with Shownu while writing this, so why Changkyun turned out to be the main lead is literally beyond me lol whoever reads this... hope you enjoy it TT

------------------------------------------------

When Hoseok was in college, he never skipped a day of classes. He never went to any party, and he certainly never went on a day trip or a weekend getaway. He was always around, taking care of you, working to earn money for you, spending time with you.

When Hoseok joined the army, the only places he knew of were home, your university, and his base. He always came back home for holidays and his days off. He would come pick you up after class and you’d go to your favorite diner, spend hours there just talking about anything and everything.

When Hoseok left the army and started his new... job, he became busier, but he always made sure to see you once a week. A couple of hours every Friday night right before you closed your clinic. He never skipped a Friday once, and it’s been years.

Today, however, was Friday. It was almost midnight which was way after your working hours, and there was still no sign of Hoseok around. You didn't think much of it at first, thinking maybe he got held up doing something with his team... His missions were mostly random, so one might have happened to be on a Friday night. At least that’s what you thought until you tried calling him, and some really unpleasant voice answered instead of him.

You felt like your whole body was drained out of blood. Before you knew it, you were on your way to see him, or his team. Just anyone.

They better have a good explanation for this.

It better be a prank or a training session, because if not then...

No. It can't be anything else.

Hoseok trusted you enough to tell you about anything. You were the first one to hear he was joining a gang called MX. You know everyone he works with (albeit not personally, but you’ve heard enough about everyone) and everything he does, except mission details. If anything, you'd say you knew way too much about his life. So, if there was anything scheduled today, he would have definitely told you, right? You kept racking your brain as you stepped on the gas. You didn’t care for speeding tickets at this point, you just needed to see Hoseok as soon as physically possible.

Parking your car a couple of blocks away from your destination, you draped a scarf over your head before making your way through alleyways. It only took a couple of minutes before you could spot that dreaded red door. There was a guard by it, as always, and some people gathered, visibly drunk and screaming trouble. You took a deep breath and continued that way.

Ever since Hoseok started working here, you've only been twice, and both times were during random afternoons. You've only heard stories from Hoseok about how it was at night. You never imagined actually seeing it for yourself but here you were.

The guard checked your ID before hesitantly letting you in, probably wondering what someone in such an outfit was doing in that side of the city. The sound of people shouting and cheering hit you the moment he opened the door. A few steps in and you could already see the ring in the center of the room. There were so many people surrounding it you couldn't see who was inside fighting. The only thing you could see is the blood splashing now and then. The fact that people cheered louder when the blood was visible made you sick to the core, but you didn’t let that get to you. You needed to make sure Hoseok was okay.

Making an abrupt stop and looking around, making sure no one was watching you, you turned a dark corner and hurried to the back side where you knew the real purpose of this place was. Hoseok and his team used it as a hideout, which fit just fine. During the day, athletes and fighters used the main area as a gym and came to train, getting Hoseok’s help whenever he wasn’t training with his guys himself. During weekend nights, there would be boxing matches which they somehow managed to make legal. No one suspected that behind all that, an actual mafia gang worked in the offices in the back. But then again, they kept it super private to keep the attention away from them. The boss never hired many men or made a ‘family’ like other gangs, it was just six members doing all the work, turning seven a few months back after welcoming a new weapon expert. In all the years they’ve been together, the police were never on their tail.

A few turns later, a single door separated you from finding out the truth. You put your shaking hand on the doorknob and twisted it, making your way inside. Before you had the chance to look up though, a cold metal was on your temple. You forgot to breathe for a second, your mind going blank.

“So now y’all using pretty faces to try to get to us? Not too original, for real,” a deep voice reached your ears as you took a shaking breathe, trying to calm down.

Unfamiliar voice and a gun? This must be the new guy I.M.

“Get that thing the fuck away from me.” You muttered between your teeth, spotting Shownu at the far end of the room reading intensely from a file. Great, the boss was around.

Out of all members, Son Hyunwoo (who went by Shownu) was probably the one who impressed you the most. It wasn’t because he was the boss, but because there was seemingly nothing he couldn’t do. When you heard stories about him from Hoseok, he sounded like the slowest dumbest person in the world. You were fooled at first, but then you learned the man had degrees in business and law, he ran the gym and managed UFC fighters, he could pass for a UFC fighter himself with a body like his, and on top of everything he made sure to take care of his team in the best way possible. He was like a father figure to everyone despite his young age. Even you felt his fatherly side when he occasionally sent an accountant and a business consultant to your clinic to make sure your business is running smoothly.

“Oh! She got balls,” the man holding you at gun point chuckled, finally bringing some attention to you. “What brings you here, princess?” He asked, his voice rid of all humor he had a moment ago.

“Changkyun, put it down.” Shownu stared at you, confusion visible even from where you were standing. The guy next to you, Changkyun, lowered his gun a second later. You didn’t waste time to run further inside, your eyes searching the place.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” Shownu’s voice softened as he came closer to you. You faced him, trying to see if he was pretending like nothing was wrong, or if he genuinely didn’t know.

“Where’s Hoseok?” You asked, your heartbeat speeding up as you waited for an answer.

“Who the fuck is this? How does she know Wonho’s real name?” The same deep voice, Changkyun’s, asked from behind you, sounding defensive this time.

“Changkyun, this is Wonho’s sister, she’s-“

“WHERE THE FUCK IS HOSEOK!” You screamed, fists clenched, making Changkyun curse. Shownu just stared at you, not startled at all. You remembered Hoseok telling you how he never got scared. What a perfect time to confirm that. In the corner of your eye, you could see someone else appearing from behind another door, probably alerted by your scream.

“…It’s Friday night, shouldn’t you be with him?” Shownu finally answered.

Your knees finally gave in, not able to hold you up anymore. You were praying this was all a dream. You were praying what Shownu said was actually just in your head, that this was all fake.

Because if it was real then…

“Hoseok...” You sighed, not having enough energy to form a full sentence.

“Y/n, what’s going on?” you recognized Jooheon’s voice by your side, his left arm made its way around your shoulder, holding you close to him. Out of all of Hoseok’s teammates, only Jooheon knew you enough to be that close to you. A single tear traveled down your cold cheek.

“Hoseok… they took him.”

[mxvladdy]

heyy i just read your fic Case of the Munchies on ao3 and im Loving it!!!! its amazing!! i was wonder if youre accepting requests and if you haven’t done it could you write the same for the rest: mammon, levi, satan, belphi, dia, barbatos and smth for simeon and luke (ofc platonic) like how angles have a true form and that means they can never relax around mc and how solomon has so much power at his fingertips he can just snap and end them or smth like that? pretty please and thank you!!!!

A/N: Of Course! Of Course! I already did Mammon and Levi HERE so I’ll do the other four in this request! You sent me a lot of good ideas and I’ll sprinkle them out into other requests soon!

Hope you like it!!

Case of the Munchies prt 3!

Word Count: 4.2k

Characters: Satan, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos

TW: Mentions of eating and cook humans, very mild gore

Satan

As the only full-blooded demon of the seven, he has thought about it...just hypothetically of course. When you were new to the Devildom he did find your scent more appetizing than the others. It’s a good thing he has the most restraint and control of all his kin, especially when it comes to his more base urges.

He doesn’t hide this knowledge from you. It’s readily available in the library and his own room in the history books. He just won’t bring it up. So if you don’t say anything, he won’t either. What would he say anyway? “Yes, I’ve thought about it, up until it was outlawed it was a staple of our diet after all…” Ye, probably not the best thing to say.

When you finally brought it up he was exasperated. Did you have to bring it up during the few hours he had alone with himself? He wasn’t going to lie but the thought of hurting your feelings would just about do him in.

He will alleviate your worries if you have any. If Satan was anything, he was genuine.

Mini Fic

His wine curdles in his stomach, turning sour along with the take-out he had nabbed for the two of you to enjoy tonight. Drinks and dinner were becoming a staple in your T.V. night tradition. If one of you had had a rough day you would drop by your favorite shop of the hour and pick up a meal to share while you vent.

Today in particular had been a shit day for him. Failed experiment after failed experiment, and one bottle that didn’t explode on impact with the potion he dropped. Sigh. At least your comforting words soothed his wounded pride a little. You chuckle at his escapades glad to see he is not hurt at least. It was nice to have someone to see the humor in something that normally would have dampened his mood.

“You’re a pest.” He laughs at you while snapping his takeout chopsticks in half to use. “I need sympathy-hours of work wasted.” You snort into your own bowl of udon.

“You need words of praise like Beel needs another stomach.” Satan gasps in mock insult pointing a sauce stained chopstick at you.

“How dare you insult your host! After I toiled over this meal of-” What did he get exactly? Honestly, when he placed the order he was near boiling with rage at his careless fumble. It was to be a surprise for you, something to give you a bit of magic while supervised by himself. He knew how frustrated you were with your lack of magical ability in class so he wanted to gift you something grand. Now he has to wait months to try again.

Ah, well...nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.

You watch him sulk over his soup dumplings, his mile away from the comfort of your company and his room. “Come on blondie.” You poke him with your foot before burying them under his pajama-clad thighs on the couch. “Eat your ‘hard earned’ meal before I do.” You snatch up his D.D.D forgetting your own food for a moment to set up your favorite streaming service to cast to his small T.V. “Want to watch a bunch of humans fail miserably at baking?”

"I thought you would never ask."

Satan feels you stiffen in his arms two hours into your bake-off marathon. Your takeout boxes are cold and forgotten on his coffee table, a bottle of wine gone between the two of you. He glances down at you curious.

You were transfixed on the screen. The novice baker on screen was struggling to keep his monstrosity of a cake upright. It was the annual Halloween episode and this fool went for a Silence of the Lambs inspired cake. A good concept really, but very poorly executed. The fake body parts and sugar blood weighted the pastry down dangerously. If he were, to be frank, the cake was also tacky as hell. Heh, he'd have to try to make this for Lucifer.

"Does his abuse of the piping gun offend you that much?" He jokes wrapping an arm around you.

Your laugh is breathy and lacks its usual warmth. "It is excessive isn't it?" You look up at him. "Hey, Satan-have you ever eaten people before?"

"Uhh…" Great, how eloquent. This came out of nowhere, did Lucifer set you up to this? No-no you wouldn’t. Would you hate him if you knew? “I have.” He admits through clenched teeth waiting for your reaction.

“Didn’t Diavolo ban it?” He can tell you are doing the mental math in your head.

He chuckles dryly. “Well, you never asked if I did it legally.” You move away from his touch and pause the show. “I mean...I did it legally! ” His mouth runs freely, his brain screaming at him to shut up.

“Satan.” You cross your arms unimpressed.

“It was a new law and I never meant to eat it for the most part. It was at a time where I was still struggling to control myself.” Young and stupid as Lucifer had said defending him every step of the way when he would slip up. Was it sold on the black market now? Yes. Did he know how to get it? Sure, but he would never nor would he tell you about it either.

You nod thinking about his words. “I can empathize.” Oh, thank the Devil. “Have you thought of eating me?”Ahhh. “Oh my God, you have.” You chuck a pillow at him with a laugh.

He catches the pillow and clutches it to his fiery hot face. “Everyone did at first!” If he was going down then he was going to take every one of his brothers down with him. “I wasn’t going to act on it! It was a spur of the moment-why are you laughing!”

“Sorry, sorry.” You wipe at the tears in your eyes wishing you had your phone to take a picture of his blushing face. “I kind of figured you did.”

Satan looks at you incredulously. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more torn up over this?”

You shrug. “After everything we’ve been through? I admit it was a shock to think at first but I mean, you would have done it by now right?”

“Well, thank you?” He flops back on the couch, still clutching the pillow to act as a barrier between you two. He’ll take it as a compliment.

You scoot close, nudging his knee with yours. “You ok?” He nods. “Can I touch you?” He nods again eagerly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and squeeze. “Sorry, I made you uncomfortable.”

Satan chuckled, dropping the pillow to hug you back. “It’s ok.” He peaks your forehead. “Now, with that out of the way. Shall we finish this?” He swipes up his phone to hit play. You nod, flinging your legs over him to snuggle closer. “Good, I’m dying to know how he tries to save that thing. I’m putting money on icing.”

“You know.” You break the silence once more, unable to stop yourself. “I wouldn’t be opposed to being eaten...in some ways.”

Belphegor

After your first *ahem* encounter, he doesn’t bring up the whole food thing. He is afraid that if you learned about it, it would be the last strike for you and his relationship. Perhaps it’s paranoia on his part but better safe than sorry.

In all honesty, he didn’t eat it that much anyway. Killing humans was something he did often in his youth as a demon. A stupid attempt at revenge on his part. It filled the holes in his hearts to hurt those he believed killed his sister.

But to eat their flesh? Disgusting. He tried it a few times and it turned his stomach with every mouthful. He just hated them too much to even stomach them. He’s mellowed out with time but still never got a taste for it.

When you asked it was a shock but welcomed in a way. Like he could finally get this weight off his shoulders every time he looked at you.

Mini Fic

“It’s gross.” Belphie yawns, jumping up to sit on the high garden wall. He bends down to help you up placing you gently next to himself. The wind catches you by surprise threatening to topple you back from the wall before he rights you. He tosses his sweater over you with a nod of satisfaction.

You snuggle into the fleece lining burying your nose into the fabric. It smelled of elderberries and honeysuckles. Belphie watches you curl up into his side with a fond smile. “Seriously, you all are nasty.”

“Ouch!” You push his shoulder with a grin. “I feel like I should be offended on behalf of all humans.”

Belphie snorts, looking up into the bright colors of the night sky. “Good. Be offended. You, humans, are slimy.” You squawk indignantly. “It’s true, never in all my years would I willingly ingest it.” He shudders theatrically.

“Rude.”

“Shouldn’t you be happy? Lest I eat you?” He growls playfully, taking a swipe at you. He pulls you close to kiss the pout off your face. He stops only when your face is hot and your smile threatens to pull a muscle. “I’ll keep you safe, always.” He vows resting his chin on your head.

“Do you think other demons would try to eat me?”

“Have you met my twin?” He teases. He takes your jab to his ribs with a smile. “But if one of those lesser demons even tries to breathe in your direction I’ll kill them.”

“Ok, Mister sleeps till dinner.” You joke. His vow warms your heart a little, chasing away the small bit of fear that had rested itself in your chest. You saw how some demons looked at you at R.A.D, the longing and hungry looks got to be a bit much sometimes. A few older demons would discuss it loudly when they knew you were close by. Apparently, it was a long standing tradition of demons eating humans both body and soul when a pact was concluded.

Imagine what those brothers would do to them…

You shake your head hugging Belphie closer. You had nothing but his word that he would keep you safe, yet that was enough for you. Besides, he wasn’t one to follow the rules even at the best of times.

“I’m serious. You're off limits for everyone.”

You nod into his shirt, closing your eyes to enjoy the peace of the moment. “I’ll hold you to it.”

Diavolo

It is so far from his mind that when you say something it is like a rug was taken out from under him. He could be diplomatic about it, but you deserve better than a half-truth.

He was a wild child in his youth. Sometimes he would overindulge in his father’s heritage and gorge himself on his newfound powers and privilege. He would dine with the elders and eat with abandon under their proud eyes.

He regrets it now, in your company it brings up a slurry of emotions. Sometimes when he looks at you he sees flashes of his past behavior.

The urge is stronger in him than the brothers, a constant nagging tug in his guts, but he is strong. Stronger both in willpower and sheer physical prowess than them so the pull is more of an annoyance than a burning need. He can temper the hunger in other ways if need be *wink*

He fears what you might think of him if you ever found out the truth, but however you take it he will handle it in stride. He loves you too much not to.

Mini Fic

Dinners, when Diavolo could eat alone, were a rare and special treat. The solace of just being allowed to exist without constantly checking his posture or presentation was a blessing, just him, his thoughts, and a good meal. It was nice to have no paperwork to worry about staining this time or a tedious meeting where he couldn’t savor his meal. No, no this was good. He looks down at his heavily laden plate and smiles. Well, almost… Pulling out his phone he snaps a quick picture and sends it to you with a simple question. Join me?

Private meals were wonderful, but with you, they were perfect.

You arrive faster than he expected, flushed face and clutching a stitch in your side from rushing over. He almost felt bad before he saw the eager look in your eyes. Barbatos helps you with your school bags and coat before placing another plate of food across from the young lord. He winks at the prince before disappearing back through the door.

“Thank you for the invite!” You beam taking your seat across from him. “I hope you don’t mind that I'm not dressed for the occasion. I was just wrapping up a study session with the boys.” You look down at your rumpled lounge clothes.

Diavolo waved his hand disregarding your concerns. “I would emulate you if I had the time.” He looks at his own pressed school uniform. He had another meeting this evening, much to his distaste. “You look rather comfortable.” You smile in delight before tucking into your own plate.

You eat in a comfortable silence reading the room well enough to tell that he wished for some company but not needless chitter-chatter. Barbatos arrived moments after you put your fork down and left with the plate leaving behind a delicious smelling hot drink. You couldn’t put your finger on the flavor but it tastes spicy like cinnamon and coats your throat like warm honey.

Whatever was in the drink seemed to work some magic on the prince. His shoulder droop, his back sinking into the chair as his legs stretch out till they are close to brushing against yours. He starts talking over the drink, eyes slowly lighting up with delight. You drink, nodding along with him as he builds up steam. It was nice to see him so unguarded and light. You listen to him talk about simple innocent topics. You knew how he tried to have these conversations with the others to no avail. The brother’s always tried to stay clear of him, and Lucifer simply dismissed these things most days. Barbatos and the angels were a bit better but still listened mostly to placate him.

“Ah!” Diavolo stops mid-sentence as his door opens once more Barbatos holding a small platter in his gloved hand. Dia claps his hands in delight. “I’ve been wanting to have you try this with me for forever. The human palate is so different, but I hope this is tasty.”

“What is it?” You eye the covered plate curiously.

Dia says a word in infernal. It is harsh and guttural in his throat but his delight was evident in his tone. “It is like...a roasted nut? Sorry, it is difficult to explain but it has been a favorite treat of mine since I was a boy. I hope you like it too.” He opens the lid with little ceremony and tilts the bowl to you. Inside were several golfball sized pods piled on top of each other. Even from across the table you could feel the molten heat radiating from the porous black shell. It looked...ugly. Like a hunk of dried lava. You eye it suspiciously as Diavolo picks one up with his bare hands and bits it. The shell cracks under his sharp teeth, a fang catching in a weak spot with a noise that makes you shiver. Underneath the thick casing, you could see a dark red and fleshy core. He hums in delight pulling put the meat of the seed and discard the shell pieces onto an empty plate. He makes quick work of the innards already reaching for another by the time you casually pick up a seed.

The seed itself was dense and warm to the touch. You squeeze it, noting that the porous coating felt like a mass of steel in your hand. “Dia-how do I open it?” No way you could bite it, not without breaking your jaw in the process.

“Allow me.” He takes it from you and effortlessly cracks it. “It is a tradition to break them with teeth, instead of hands or utensils. Something about a show of strength. I just find it fun.” He shrugs, handing you the broken seed.

“Fun!” You marvel at his pearly fangs. “Those are some big chompers.”

“All the better to eat you with my dear.” He chuckles.

You blink in shock, eyes widening. “Would you? Eat me?”

Diavolo’s smile drops. “No.” He lies on reflex, his political nature kicking in. “No-no wait.” He shakes his head. “I...at a time would have without hesitation.” He feels you recoil. “It was common practice back in the day. To the common demon it was a great meal and for the ruling class a show. He looks down at the broken fragments of shell on his plate. Breaking the shell was far too reminiscent of other things. He squashes the unwanted wave of memories coming up. Instead, he looks up at you.

You sit quietly mulling over his words. You haven’t run yet. “Why did you stop?”

He leans back with a loud exhale. Why did he stop? There were many reasons, none he wished to divulge into at the moment, but he had to say something. “I grew up, and began to resent and regret it.” He used to read human stories of demons and his kind. They hurt their characterizations of him and his people. Yet, they had all been scarily accurate. He wanted to prove that they weren’t stagnating beasts, slaves to their desires. Even if it wasn't a popular opinion.

“I see.” You pick up the seed again. “Thank you for telling me. You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to, and to apologize… such admissions must have ruined your appetite. If you wish to retire-”

“Is it weird if it didn’t?” You cut him off. You felt-not apathetic to the knowledge but close to it. It confirmed a lot of things for you and put certain things in perspective. You still felt safe with him even with this new bit of knowledge. Without a second thought, you pop the treat into your mouth. You gasp in delight. The flavor and texture were not what you were expecting, but was delicious all the same. “Can you open another for me?” You push your plate over to him.

“Of course!”

The food was as wonderful as his company.

Barbatos

You knew he cooked it. He probably knows a million different ways to prepare a human. He is also very blunt about his dabblings in the market.

He doesn’t eat it, hasn’t ever. He sees no reason to, especially since he doesn’t need to eat anyway there is no temptation. He did find the meals he created beautiful though.

Once he lived for the praises of the courts and his young lord. He was a master at all mediums he cared to work with. Time, decorum, or of the flesh.

He is 100% unashamed of his past with the dark side of the Devildom’s history. In fact, he is damn near proud of it. He is a demon and it was a part of his life, if that frightens you, well there is nothing he can do about it.

He’ll entertain your questions and will try to put any lingering worries at ease. Just don’t expect to be coddled when he does.

Mini Fic

Barbatos had very few personal pleasures in his life. His schedule simply didn’t have the space for such things. So why even bother looking for a pastime. It wasn’t until Diavolo gifted him with an old worn cookbook did he find it.

Cooking was a necessity for his prince, but with that little book, it became something he looked forward to doing. Slowly, he began to seek them out, filling his growing quarters with cookbooks and loose-leaf slips of paper. He enjoys reading them. Each book was a little time capsule into the cook's life and memories. Could a mix of spices really remind someone of the arid heat of their motherland? Or does following a certain way of aging meat really honor the writer's late grandfather’s memory? He tries them all, each recipe a little invasion to a happier time.

He wrote his fair share of cookbooks too in his day. Simple modifications to things the young lord liked to the odd machinations of his own imagination. He got good at experimenting with flavors and textures over the years, mastering certain cooking techniques and flavors just for fun. He didn’t share many of them, a lot of his recipes were just too complicated for most. Luke was allowed to look at his pastry books only. The little cherub was enamored with his techniques and wanted to learn as much as he could in the short amount of time he was in the Devildom. Admirable, but he made sure to keep some of his...less savory books away from the boy. He shudders to think what Simeon would do if he scarred the young angel.

You are the only one who has full access to his collections. Whether you liked to cook was inconsequential to him. He simply enjoyed sharing this interest with you. Some nights you would take it upon yourself to be his “sous-chef”. Which meant you sat in the corner of the kitchen and read out the ingredients and steps for a recipe he knew by heart. Sometimes you would add in extra steps in an attempt to stump it. Cute...but ultimately failed each time. So, most nights when you tagged along to the kitchens you just flip through his collection, reading his immaculate scribblings crammed into the corners of the pages or where he scratched out certain ingredients for more demon-appropriate foods and more sustainable options.

You had gone through many beautiful books before you found it. The cookbook was small and inconspicuous compared to most. Just a simple black cover with a well-worn spine. What made you take notice of it was just how dusty it was. That wasn’t like him to do. Barbatos would never let something get so dirty. You wished you never had opened it. You weren’t stupid by any means, but after reading a few pretty graphic recipes it had unsettled you. So you withdrew from Barbatos trying to forget about the book tucked away deep in the bowels of your school bag.

“You’ve been distant.” You choke, hand flying up to your chest as you swear your heart skipped a beat. Damn demon. Should put a bell on him. “What’s wrong?” His eyes are piercing, cutting away at your feeble defenses.

“Nothing…” You fiddle with your bag’s strap. Your eyes drop to the floor taking in the differences between his polished shoes and your scuffed boots.

“Of course not…” You could hear the skepticism in his voice. “I trust that if there was something wrong you would feel safe enough to confide in me.” His words hit like a ton of bricks on your shoulders. He sighs seeing that his words got no reaction. “Please?”

Wordlessly you rummage in your bag and thrust the book into his chest. “Sorry. It shook me up more than I thought it would.”

Ah. He knew this book all too well. For a time it had been his favorite, one to pull out with Diavolo had guests or a deal that needed to be sealed. He accepts the book, noting how much your hands shook. “I understand.” He slips the book into his breast pocket making a mental note to hide it in one of his lesser used rooms. “Would you like to discuss this? In my room perhaps?” You follow with a timid nod.

“Where shall we begin?” Barbatos asks the moment he closes the door to his room.

“You don’t seem perturbed.” You frown. Barbatos shrugs, pulling the book out and opening it. He had a lot of good memories stored here. Some of these were still considered signature dishes, oftentimes a visiting dignitary would lament to him about the good old days when he could show off his craft when flesh was plentiful. He takes pride in that still to this day even. For as much as he loved you, he would not be ashamed of this.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You shake your head when he says as much. “It just confused me. Do-do you see me as food?”

“I never saw humans as food, no more than I see demons or angels as it.” He picks at an imaginary bit of lent from his pant leg. “As for seeing you as food no. No matter how sweet your lips are, or how honeyed your words can be.” He smiles, taking impish delight in your squirming. “I merely did my job as a butler for my lord.”

“Oh- sorry for not coming to you sooner.” You felt foolish now. Barbatos waves it off, pleased to have this issue put aside so quickly and cleanly. “Wait-" You gasp as his words finally sink in. “Have you prepared angels before?”

He flashes you a mischievous smile putting a single finger up to his lips. “Perhaps~ do you wish to read that too?”

[stickyy]

Can I have a gn reader x Aizawa? Maybe a college AU where Aizawa doesn't know how to handle his crush because he was awkward when he was young and ended up a bully who was handsy. Thank you!

EEEE this is my first ask so i hope you like it anon! :D thanks so much for requesting!

DISCLAIMER: i do not condone or encourage any of the behavior outlined in the following text. this is a work of fiction, and should be treated as such. :)

wordcount: 2299

warnings: dubcon, verbal abuse, slight dumbification, forced oral sex, brief mentions of gagging/vomit (doesn’t actually happen), aizawa is an law student asshole, quirkless!AU, ooc? more likely than u think

notes: im not like a writer so when i put this in word count and saw it was 2k words i gasped-

MIDTERM

Without a doubt, Aizawa’s the smartest student in your Civil Procedure lecture. You admire him; you’re both first years, but he already has an incredible work ethic and results to show for it. He works two part-time jobs to help pay for school (alongside his impressive scholarship), studies into the late hours of the night (mostly due to his being kept awake very loud roommate), and, despite a bad habit of regularly showing up to your 8 am class slightly hungover, still manages to produce the top marks in the class. 

You’re envious of him, because you’re the exact opposite. Your tuition is paid in full by your parents, you have a wonderfully quiet apartment all to yourself, and you study as best you know how, only to practically fail every assignment. You wish you could be surprised, but the material is a dreadfully bland concoction of boring procedure and esoteric theory that you rarely get further than three or four pages into a chapter. You want to like law, you really do, but there’s something about the intricacies of drafting lawsuits that goes in one ear and out the other. It’s no surprise that you sought out Aizawa’s help, desperate to at least pass the class with a decent grade. 

You wish you hadn’t. 

You don’t understand what you do that bothers him so deeply, but something about you coaxes cruelty from somewhere dark inside of him. You always scurry towards the back of the lecture hall to grab a seat next to him, doing your best to be quiet and unassuming, but he shoots you a venomous glare or a soft flurry of harsh words. And you get it, to an extent- some days you walk into class chattering a little too loudly on the phone, and on others you loudly shuffle around in your book bag to try finding the notes that you attempted to start for this lecture (if you even brought them that day). You know it’s annoying, but you also know you don’t deserve the downright verbal abuse he throws at you for it.

“It’s hard to take notes if you forget your textbook. Try being prepared for once,” he’ll sigh as he slides his textbook to you. Like a good student, he took notes for lecture the night before, but it still took some convincing for him to spare you his textbook.

“Do you ever shut up?” He’ll interrupt you as you babble about your difficulties understanding the most recent lecture. You want to retort, tell him off for being rude, but the words die in your throat; he radiates an annoying apathy that makes you doubt the efficacy of anything you say to him.

“You wouldn’t fail every assignment if you actually studied. Or maybe, you’re actually just stupid?” He’ll quip as you clutch your paper, a red ‘47’ scrawled in the upper corner of the page littered with your professor's critiques and question marks. By contrast, Aizawa’s paper is pristine, donning a singular red mark of ‘98, nice work!’.

With a well placed glare and the sour baritone of his voice, laced with exhaustion, it’s always enough to make your stomach drop from shame and embarrassment. Under normal circumstances, you’d never allow anyone to speak to you that way, but your grade was a dire situation, and with the midterm upcoming, you forcefully swallow your pride and ask him for his help.

You have to beg, but Aizawa agrees to tutor you the day before the midterm. This grade is a make or break for the class- if you do poorly on this exam, you’ll have to drop the lecture to salvage your gpa, putting you half a semester behind your peers. It’s motivation enough to deal with his poor attitude, and the two of you end up reviewing in an empty studying room on the top floor of the library. You began the session alert and determined to catch up, but studying with him shows you just how far behind you are. The textbook sounds like foreign poetry coming from his mouth; Aizawa is nothing short of eloquent when explaining the complexities of something as boring as filing lawsuits, and you spend most of the two hours spent just zoning out, completely unable to focus.

“You’re just wasting my time at this point.” The break in his cadence snaps you out of your trance, unfocused eyes meeting his tired ones, slightly lidded in annoyance, “Are you even trying to remember the material? Or are you just expecting me to spoon-feed it to you?”

Your throat catches, forcing you to swallow a lump as you attempt to ignore his words. 

“I am trying! I just don’t understand why there are two approaches, is all,” You whine, flipping back through your sparse notes to find the section that contained the explanation. 

“I went over that almost 3 chapters ago. If you were paying attention, you would’ve stopped me by now. It’s hard to believe that you even got into this school, if this is how you studied in high school. Did your daddy pull some strings with his buddies in admissions?”

Your eyes narrow, searching harder for the correct section in your notes. That’s a pretty low blow, and even if he’s not completely wrong, it still stings. You now know for a fact you didn’t even read this part of the text, but you keep your eyes trained on the page. At this point, you’d do anything to avoid looking at Aizawa, lest you begin to cry.

“Don’t be an asshole,” is all you can muster, voice shaking with unshed tears, “Would it kill you to be a little nicer? It’s hard to focus when all you do is insult me.”

“It’s hard to focus?” He repeats, his tone a sickly sweet mockery of yours. “Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s my fault. You’re a lot dumber than you think, if you even think at all. The midterm is tomorrow, and we’re just now getting into chapter five. Don’t get mad at me for actually trying to study; if I was holding your hand through it all, we’d still be on chapter one.”

Your vision blurs and a single tear hits the lined paper of your notes, causing the ink to blur as the drop absorbs into the page. You clench your jaw and take a breath before standing up, opening your backpack to put you things away. You didn’t have to take this abuse, you could study on your own. Even if you did poorly, you’d have some of your dignity left.

“It’s pretty rude to just walk out on someone trying to help you,” Aizawa says after a moment, closing his notes shut. “Not only do you give me a headache every single morning, but I try to tutor you and you want to leave without even thanking me? I’m busy, you know? I take time that I don’t have to spare just help your sorry ass out, for free, and you’re not even capable of learning anything from it.”

You sling your bag over your shoulder and move to leave, but you find yourself face to face with Aizawa, his tall frame blocking the door, arms crossed over his chest, and a thoroughly disgusted expression plastered on his features. 

“I should charge you a fee, just for completely wasting an afternoon. Absolutely ridiculous,” His tone is a juxtaposition to his demeanor; he sounds more amused than annoyed, a jeer underlying the words. It makes you feel sick, and you’re suddenly grossly aware of the fact that you're alone with him, the only method of escape blocked. It feels dangerous, and you want nothing more than to be at home, alone and safe.

“H-how much?” You stutter meekly, eager to appease him. “I don’t really have any cash on me but if you have Venmo-”

“That’s not quite what I had in mind,” Your heart starts to jackhammer against your ribcage and panic sets in. You’re frozen in place, unwilling to ask him to elaborate. You may not be very bright, but you have a good idea of what he’s going to ask for, and you can think of a million things you’d rather do instead.

“I know your pretty little skull is practically an echo chamber, so listen closely, okay? We both know that no matter how hard you try, you won’t be ready for the exam by the end of tonight, and I have to work in an hour and a half. So, if you behave and do what I ask you, I’ll let you copy my exam answers tomorrow. Understand?”

You’re silent, paralyzed by fear. A part of you wants to run, desperately, but your mind drifts to the midterm. You know that without any help, you’ll surely fail.

That’s how you end up on your knees in front of him, tears finally streaming down your face from choking on his thick cock. 

“That’s it,” he groans breathlessly, eyes fluttering shut as his head presses back against the door, “I knew you were good for something. I bet this is how you convinced your other teachers to give you a passing grade, huh? A few cocks down your throat-fuck, to save your gpa, I wouldn’t put it past you, dumb slut.”

You hate this- hate being reduced to just a mouth for him to fuck. You hate how he sneers down at you, his eyes alight with sadistic pleasure. You especially hate the treacherous way your spine tingles and heat pools low in your stomach at his amused growls and degrading remarks. He’s just as cruel with the way he fucks into your mouth, disregarding your comfort entirely, hand in your hair roughly guiding your head over his length. He’s almost painfully thick, stretching your lips wide, tickling the recesses of your throat in a grotesque way. You try to wiggle away slightly, just to take a small breath; you’re beginning to feel dangerously lightheaded. You begin to pull your head away but he thrusts his hips upward, holding your head down and  forcing your lips to wrap around the base of his cock.

“S’okay, baby, just relax that empty little head of yours, no need to breathe right now,” he sighs, watching you struggle against him with a smirk, watching the fear bloom in your chest and your mind buzz with the lack of oxygen. Your thrashing shifts his cock in just the right way and you violently gag, eyes widening with the painful sensation. You’re almost convinced he’s going to let you pass out, right before he yanks you off of him. You cough violently, gagging a few more times, drool spilling out of your mouth.

“Throw up on me and a failing grade will be the least of your problems,” he growls, and the threat is a sobering reminder of how fucked up this is. You meet his expectant gaze, and reluctantly return to the task at hand. You can hold out just a little longer, you tell yourself; his hips are beginning to move on their own accord and you know he won’t last much longer. All you have to do is hang on and it will all be over soon.

You know that he’s just a bully, that you’re just doing what you have to do in order to pass this class, that you’re worth more than your grades, that you aren’t stupid- but the dark part of your mind questions if he’s right. Maybe you do belong on your knees, because what do you know? Maybe you are just a dumb slut; there’s no need to study if the only thing you’re good for is swallowing.

The shameful thought forces a new torrent of tears to pour from your eyes, gagging once more on both your tears and his cock, and the look of pure despair on your face pushes him over the edge. Aizawa yanks your head from his cock with a curse and you flinch as his hot cum hits your face. There’s a lot of it, the viscous seed slowly dripping down your face. The sensation is downright disgusting. You feel dirty and used, your throat sore, knees burning, lips swollen from his brutal assault. He presses the tip of his cock on your cheek, smearing his load all over your skin with a cruel laugh.

Through your panting, you keep your eyes closed for a little bit, hoping that maybe this is an awful nightmare and you’ll wake up in your dorm, with an extra day to study and a little more hope in your heart. 

The sound of a camera shutter rips you from your fantasy, opening your eyes to see Aizawa grinning at his phone. You’re too shocked to say anything, only staring at him incredulously from your position on the floor in front of him.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know?” He hums as he tidies himself up and grabs his bag. “So photogenic, I’ll be able to get off to this for weeks. Who knows what good you’d be if you were dumb and ugly.”

You didn’t notice that you had stopped crying, but the fresh tears and sound of your own sobs call your attention to fact.

“Try and clean up before you leave, alright? I know you’re a little too stupid to remember, but I don’t think it’d be a good look for you to walk around covered in cum.”

The door clicks closed, and through your sobs you look around at the room, only to notice that there aren’t any tissues left laying around. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him.

(But at least you get an A- on your midterm.)

[gwoongi]

wordless pt.3

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst rating: mature words: 3.5k warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex a/n: im sleepy but hey im also rly glad bts made a statement about the blm movement :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(21) Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

“Yeah, I did, I submitted it on Thursday. What do you mean, did it get a good mark, it’s only Monday.” As you near the front windows of the building, you sigh and stare at the gloomy clouds presented behind the glass. Korea is cold and wet and dark today. “Fuck, rain. Anyway, I’ll call you later, Eunji, okay?”

Eunji agrees and hangs up the phone before you get the chance to, and you’re left in the cool shadow of the largest cloud in the sky. From nine until eleven, you have a morning class on Monday; today, due to request from at least five students confused by the essay title that was due on Friday evening, the class ran for an additional hour and a half, all of the subject material covered with a general extension for the following Fri. Typical, as you rushed it to hand it in before submission.

“Not going home, Y/N?”

You suck your top teeth with disappointment, “Not yet, Professor, I need to make a call.”

The slim professor arrives at your elbow, “Boyfriend?”

“Not really,” you confess. You glance at your phone and find Jeongguk’s number, “but he owes me a few favours here and there, it won’t hurt to bring an umbrella or something.”

“Good luck,” she laughs. She doesn’t offer her umbrella, despite it being tucked under her armpit, and her car is parked in sight close to the windows. At that, she leaves and you send Jeongguk a quick text message. If he’s working presently, the text will annoy him less than a call.

Raining! I’m stuck, can you send some to come and get me?

Jeongguk must be in office, because his reply is speedy. Forget your subway card again?

I never ask for anything, would it hurt you to send someone to get me?

He doesn’t reply for five minutes, and then, Uni, right?

It takes at least fifteen minutes before a vehicle pulls up across the small car-park; it’s a black car, shiny and wet and loud, and you bristle at its entry. Quickly, you hug your coat closer around your body and when you glance back up towards the window, you’re surprised to see Jeongguk himself briskly crossing the lot with an umbrella over his head.

“I’m here to pick up a Y/N L/N, you seen her?” he asks when he reaches the door, smiling as you haul it open and stare at him with happy surprise. “You did not dress for the weather.”

“The app said it would be cloudy,” you huff.

“Baby, it’s January, what did you expect,” Jeongguk sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer to his body. Like this, he walks alongside you towards the car and for a moment, he glances around the complex out the corner of his eye. This University isn’t the dog's bollocks, because as much as he’s willing to help fund you at University, he can’t pay for you to be smarter. You’re pretty happy where you are, not being at a big-name University but doing the exact same degree anyways. He’s happy that you’re happy, but if it were him, he’d probably redecorate the front.

(22) Listening to them while they vent.

When Jeongguk vents, he doesn’t just vent. He never sits you down in front of him and lets it all out, nor does he slink away to therapy, or whining over the phone, or sleepy pillow talk where everything feels safer when you’re seconds away from falling asleep.

Instead, Jeongguk fucks away his problems, and as he does it, you tend to get an earful.

“And,” he grunts, one slap, one thrust, “I fucked it up.” One more. “All of it.” Another groan, a deeper push, “Fuck!”

You like to let him get it all out, and on the plus side, you get what you need which is to relieve the pressure of wanting in your stomach. It’s better when he’s angry, better for both of you, and he’s full of apologies when he’s finished, as if he was yelling at you and not at himself.

“Last time I ever work with Taehyung,” he spits. “Fuck. Ugh.”

You’ll ask him about it later.

(23) Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

One night, you’re over at Jeongguk’s. It’s not unusual that you’re here, especially when you’re here so often that his house feels like your own. From the bathroom, the shower runs loudly and Jeongguk sings, mostly to himself, in the water, meanwhile you dance around his kitchen making tea and bringing it to the bedroom where he’ll come in later when he’s done.

His room is golden and warm, and the curtains are drawn but the thin netting softens the sunset outside. You circle around the end of Jeongguk’s bed and set his cup on the bedside table on his side, closest to the window, when you notice something new sitting in a frame by the lamp. Okay, you’ll bite.

You put down both mugs and in exchange pick up the frame. Something warm bubbles inside your stomach as you look down at the frame; the picture, you’ve never seen before, but it’s of you. You remember the photo being taken in Colmar, the time that Jeongguk came to see you to satisfy his own boredom and need. Never did you imagine it would be a photo he’d print, let alone put in a frame next to his bed. It’s a pretty photo, too, with the river behind you and the sun on your skin, your hair only slightly in your face.

Not a perfect photo, but a pretty one. Jeongguk must like it enough to have printed it.

The shower cuts off in the bathroom and you move quickly, protecting an image of innocence as you put the frame back where it once was, and pick up your mug and place it on your bedside table. You’ve placed Jeongguk’s mug so that he could take it both ways. Maybe he’ll think you didn’t see the frame, or maybe he’ll know you did. He must have put it there for a reason, you think, and then you stop thinking when Jeongguk opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom.

(24) Tracing your names together in the sand.

Jeongguk had a call from Hawaii. It was brief, and you imagine not very pleasant, but he had to go nonetheless. Jeongguk sure as hell wasn’t going to go to Hawaii without you, no matter how dangerous that might be for him. He told you with two hours notice to pack up your shit and meet him at his place. The plane took off three hours later, and Hawaii here you come.

He never liked to be late, or behind schedule, and so the job that needed to be done was done in a record breaking speed. Like always, he’d have some time to kill before needing to flee to avoid the authorities, and when Jeongguk heads back home after the deed is done, he steps into an empty room and his skin runs cold.

“Y/N?” he calls, to no response. He sets down his things and moves around the suite, his eyes darting to every area.

There is a moment where Jeongguk fears for the worst and out of instinct grabs the gun tucked into his belt. He pulls it out in the bedroom but pauses when out of the corner of his eye, he sees a person standing on the beach just outside the window. Jeongguk pauses.

Outside, the sun is warm and burning orange, sinking down into the pretty waves. You could get used to Hawaii, maybe, if you failed at journalism at the end of your degree, or if Jeongguk hurt your feelings enough that you felt living in Korea itself would be too painful to endure.

“Y/N!”

You turn over your shoulder, noticing Jeongguk stepping down from the dunes. He’s still in his suit, a black fit that makes him look slender and tall and absolutely stunning. His hair is still wild and wet and there’s blood on the inside of his blazer, a red that contrasts the white of his shirt. You won’t mention it, because he probably knows already.

“Hey,” you call back.

“It’s- it’s not safe for you to be out here on your own,” he explains, finally by your side. “Fuck, I was worried you’d been kidnapped, or something.”

“Oh, sorry,” you reply. “The sunset was just too pretty.”

Jeongguk sighs with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, it is. Hawaii does sunsets better than Korea, that’s for sure.”

Jeongguk stands next to you and says nothing for a few seconds. The sunset is indeed gorgeous, like something ripped out of a painting from a gallery somewhere fancy and famous. You hum quietly, and jump slightly to the left to grab a large stick off the sand. Jeongguk has to stop himself from smiling as you pick it up, like a kid who pretends the stick is a sword.

“I used to write rude things in the sand for the people in planes who flew past, every single time we went on vacation when I was a kid,” you announce.

Jeongguk laughs, “You were some kid, huh?”

“Maybe you killed the wrong one,” you think, and Jeongguk frowns.

“Can you not bring that up all the time?” You look at him and he frowns deeper, “I know you’re happy about it and stuff, but like...not my proudest moment. Makes me feel sucky.”

“Oh,” you answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just a joke.”

He shrugs, “I know. But still.”

You stab the sand with the stick. “I thought maybe it was like, fitting?”

Jeongguk lifts his head to the sky and closes his eyes. “Can’t we have a trip where we just pretend to be in love or something so I don’t feel so shit about the reason why we came here?”

That shuts you up for a moment, and you turn fully to face him as he continues to stare at the sky.

“Like Colmar, maybe,” you press, and he looks down.

“Yeah.”

It sits there for a bit, like you’re genuinely contemplating it, but then you straighten with a little huff and turn to him.

“Seems fair,” you agree.

Jeongguk almost exhales a sigh of relief and he smiles, genuinely, and follows you across the beach. The tide is a little out, the sand damp where the sea once was and like children, you embrace the fun that’s waiting to be had on the shores. Chasing the waves, running from them, staring at cute crabs that scurry across the sand and laughing at the cute kids that drop their ice creams in the water.

Jeongguk takes the stick gently from your hand and points it towards the white sand, pressing the tip against the grains. You smile against his arm as you bend to see what he draws; the stick drags across the sand and outlines a J, and the first initial of your name. Oh, you think, as he closes them inside a heart and stands back to admire his work.

It’s cute, childishly cute, and he looks proud. Jeongguk beams at you for approval and you smile back, happy.

“Photo,” you say and Jeongguk drops to a crouch near the design and poses with the stick. This photo is cute, probably cuter than the one from Colmar. Jeongguk even lets you keep it.

(25) Wearing clothes in their favourite colour.

Jeongguk’s favourite colour was white, and he loved the way a white shirt or a white coat or any white accessory would look on you. Sadistically he’d love you in the white clothes he ruins, seeing you wrap your body in a white shirt dressed with blood. White was his muse, a colour of purity and innocence. Although he always wore black for work, he had to have an admiration for the colour of white, standard paper or milk white.

Jeongguk knows that your favourite colour is green. He can tell by the amount of green plants around your apartment, and the green blankets and pillows and mugs and the unusual amount of green clothing items you have in your wardrobe. He even remembers the tie you bought him once, a Slytherin green that he actually really likes despite his Hogwarts house being Ravenclaw.

You’ve never actually seen him wear the tie, not until today when Jeongguk makes a quick stop by your apartment as he heads back to the office. He steps inside with a brown bag filled with bagels and he kisses your forehead by the front door and hands them to you. You see the tie and smile; Jeongguk sure as hell looks great in your favourite colour.

(26) Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

You’re lucky that you never really came across Elio, never once when you were at Jeongguk’s home. You had assumed that Elio was sleeping, or elsewhere on days you visited or nights you slept over. To your surprise and perhaps horror, you discovered that Elio had been there all along, just disinterested in coming out to see you from the few rooms that Jeongguk converted into his own personal habitat.

“You just had him here all this time?” you screech quietly, running back into the bedroom after seeing Elio on the couch. “What the fuck.”

“He’s harmless,” Jeongguk shrugs. “He’s not interested in a human diet right now.”

“Right now? That’s not comforting,” you reply. “I’m happy to go through all your shitty paperwork for you, it’s something I actually enjoy, but can you please go out and get them for me?”

Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, “why, can’t find them?”

“They’re in the living room, on the table,” you explain, peering back out, “but Elio’s on the couch.”

He laughs, rising, “He’s not gonna even touch you.”

“He might.”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“No, but he doesn’t hurt me, so he won’t hurt you.”

You gape. “What? He’s your pet, of course he won’t hurt you. He trusts you. He doesn’t even know me.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly and ruffles your hair as he crosses your path. “Whatever. You’re such a fuckin pussy,” then he kisses your neck and heads out into the living room. You quiver by the doorway as he moves without a flinch towards Elio.

The giant cat picks his head up off the couch and yawns in Jeongguk’s direction, his tail swooshing prettily over the side of the couch. His black fur blends into the blanket he lies on and as he blinks slowly, Jeongguk reaches to pet his head and behind his ears. Elio basks in the love, pressing his head further into Jeongguk’s palm, oddly dog-like. Jeongguk spends a few more moments with his beloved exotic and then finally, like he’s reluctant to, picks up the large and messy stack of papers and then walks back towards the bedroom with a smug expression. Elio’s head falls back to sleep.

“Touch me, check I’m still alive after my dangerous encounter,” Jeongguk says, bringing the papers into the room and dropping them on the bed.

“Shut up,” you huff.

(27) Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

A call from Eunji at eight in the evening destroys all the plans you had set in place. Jeongguk had been called to meet with one of the founders of the South Korean Continental, and wouldn’t be back until around nine. You had prepped an entire meal, sitting ready on the side for when he got home.

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t absolutely important,” Eunji apologises, sounding flustered on the line, “I just. I didn’t know who else to call. I went back to the library, I think I got rid of him, but he was definitely following me from the restaurant. Fuck, Y/N, it was so scary.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m glad you called me,” you assure her, already putting your shoes on, “I can’t believe he showed up again. Didn’t he get put in jail?”

Eunji hums like she’s not convinced, “Out on bail, eighty kay.”

“Fuck. Do you, uh,” you start, thinking of if it’s okay to say, “want me to call someone else?” Jeongguk?

Eunji is one of the only people alive who knows about Jeongguk. She had been your best friend since you were seven, and was one of the only people who remained by your side after Jeongguk had your brother executed, and after you decided to become Jeongguk’s little play thing for a few weeks until he lost control and kept you around. Eunji’s no stranger to his antics, and if you warped the story a little, Jeongguk would have no issues with sorting the problem at hand.

“No, no, don’t,” Eunji begs. “He’ll take it too far. People will point fingers at me. Can you just come and get me?”

“Of course,” you tell her. “We’ll go back to mine, I can see Jeongguk whenever.”

Eunji exhales in relief, “I love you, you know that? You’re the best friend ever.”

You hang up a few minutes later and stare sadly at the meal. But it can’t be helped. Jeongguk’s bailed on you a thousand times for his colleagues. He wouldn’t mind, after a few hours of thinking about it. You sigh with repent and move the food towards the microwave.

Rescuing Eunji. Call me, I can come back tomorrow. Please eat.

Jeongguk finds the note when he gets home and scrunches it into a ball in the bin.

He eats alone, in silence, the other side of the table still prepped for another person.

(28) Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

“Enjoy the movie!”

“Thanks.”

Jeongguk takes the two tickets from the vender and steers you towards the corridor that leads to the rooms. On this rare occasion, Jeongguk has decided to court you. Quite literally, Jeongguk had called you up and asked if you wanted to go on a date, or something, because he was bored and liked you most, and he knows there’s a movie you’ve been wanting to see.

“Are you sure you wanna watch it with me?” you ask him, even though he’s already got the tickets and is walking next to you.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“I just didn’t think you were a cinema kind of person,” you confess.

Jeongguk hums, “To be honest, I’m not. But this movie looks good, and you wanna see it, and how often do we do things that you wanna do?”

It’s true.

The cinema room is dark and empty, since you’re both early to begin with. As always, it’s a little bit sticky and smelly, and Jeongguk pushes you towards the back row because it is inarguably the best place to sit in the cinema. You set down the large drink in between you both, two straws poking out in each of your directions.

“It’s great this movie is showing here,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, well the LGBT plus movement is really popular now, people are a lot more accepting of it,” Jeongguk states. “I mean, look at how well The Handmaiden did.”

You nod, “great movie.”

“It is,” he agrees. A few minutes later and the lights dim significantly, the movie is probably about to start. Jeongguk leans to the left a little and sips from the drink.

(29) Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Uni’s tough, nobody said it wasn’t. Jeongguk doesn’t really understand this, since he never went to University. He brings a mug of tea from the kitchen to his bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged staring at a laptop, setting it to the side and sitting just behind you but to your side, watching you closely.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what,” you mutter dimly.

“Overworking yourself,” Jeongguk replies, “I can see your brain fucking pulsing against your skull.”

You sigh loudly. “I can’t do this. Why did I enroll in University? I should have just put it all away after high school and become a trophy wife.”

Jeongguk’s brows furrow. “You can still be a trophy wife, you’ll just be a smart one.”

You look at him. “I’m not smart enough for this.”

For a while, Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, and he just sits listening to you. As you vent, and open up about how hard it is to do this damn degree, Jeongguk watches your face and your body and uses his fingers to gently tuck the hair that falls in front of your face behind your ear. The passion that pours out of you when you’re frustrated is an unspoken beauty that you’re not even aware of, and Jeongguk eats it up.

He does what he can to put you at ease, because things he says in encouragement are things you already know anyway. Like all humans, all you need is a little bit of love, and Jeongguk’s happy to give it if it means you’re happy with him.

(30) Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

“Can’t reach. Baby, scratch my back for me?”

You cringe away from the TV, “what the fuck am I? Your maid?”

“Please?”

You sigh. “Where’s it itching?”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“You don’t pay me enough for this.”

“I don’t pay you at all.”

Sigh. “Exactly.”

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[littlebigmouse]

Boku No Hero Academia first impression:

In no particular order, covering the first 4 episodes, because I FINALLY watched them. it got kinda long and kinda critical, but I do see why ppl would like the show:

- I absolutely adore the art style and animation - the hero and villain design? awesome, I swear - that scene where Miss Mountain gets introduced and everyone just takes pictures of her butt, like, why did we need this scene? Really? Isn’t it time for the Shonen Genre to grow up a little? - All Might - I repeat, All Might as this skinny guy because he’s badly injured? Awesomeness - 80% of people have a Quirk, that means that 20% of people don’t have one, which means that one in five people actually don’t have superpowers so it is highly improbable that Deku’d be the only kid without a Quirk in his class/he and the bullies seem to know - would people with useless quirks be discriminated against as well? And shouldn’t, statistically speaking, most quirks be flippin’ useless in most cases? - on that note, I’m just so dying for the topic of Quirkless people in the population being discriminated as a whole? I mean, judging by how people treat Deku, I think they are, but at the same time they don’t appear to be at all? - What did the Quirks do to classic Beauty standards? Since it’s fairly normal for people to look abnormal, yet at the same time the crowds only ever consist of regular people in suits? Idk, waiting to see more on that I guess? - Did I mention the cinematography? A+ for the light effects in the junk yard scene - wayyyy to many flashbacks repeating something I saw 2 minutes earlier though - Deku studying all the heroes is pure and smart and actually getting him to his goal and I love it - Okay, but how come Deku appearantly never had the idea to work out before? Look at One Punch Man, it worked for him too. - Kacchan has zero chill and it is honestly getting a bit annoying already - what the heck is wrong with the teacher. Good lord, that is one heck of a bad teacher. Fire him, like, right now - seriously tho “Kacchan, you aren’t allowed to use your powers in class, oops, you set the wimp on fire, happens, I guess” (are we not gonna talk about how dangerous these powers can be? Kacchan has the ability to set people on fire and no one is like “Dude, you gotta chill and do something about your anger management, how you haven’t accidentally killed anyone is a miracle”) - Idk what that relationship between Deku and Kacchan is supposed to be, everyone calls them ‘rivals’ and ‘childhood friends’ but, just, NO. Kacchan told Deku to kill himself in his second major appearance, they ain’t no friends. - idk what Kacchans real name is, I forgot already - if no one calls Kacchan out on his bullshit any time soon I will riot. The difference between ‘Rivals’ and ‘Enemies’ is that only one of them is supposed to want to see you dead - the fact that Deku just gets to inherit his powers from All Might is a bit underwhelming. “So you are genetically at a disadvantage compared to most of society? Here’s awesome magic to give you a genetic advantage (once you learn to control it).” I’d love to see what they’d done if Deku had no way of getting actual superpowers and just had to train hard - basically, BNHA would have made an awesome Mumen Rider prequel - yes, overexerting yourself a few hours before your great exam sounds like a wonderful idea - NOT - I’m not saying it’s not relatable, I’m just saying I don’t think either of them gets to have the braincell in this show - ahahaha, Deku had to eat All Mights hair, that is both awesome and gross on so many levels - I don’t care how much magical healing they have, I call bullshit if not at least a few people get killed by falling debris every year during this exam - the girl is trapped. Deku has to save her! except. she has levitation powers. Just levitate the rock off your leg. - WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST LEVITATE THE ROCK. she can’t even feel ‘too sick’ to do it because she saves Deku afterwards anyway, so the author plain forgot about her powers there, or she has lower regard for her own life than she has for Dekus, and I’m not sure which option I’m more comfortable with, since they literally only just met and he wouldn’t even have been in danger had she just levitated the rock off her leg - im just saying, were she a male character, she would’ve been able to get the rock off her leg because of the power of determination or whatever because she wants to pass badly. But because she isn’t she gets the power of determination to save the main character, not herself. - yes I will complain about sexism in shonen anime, fight me. - the show underestimates how much broken bones HURT. Deku broke all of his bones in three of his limbs, he should have passed out from the pain a bunch of times during his fall - the flapping of his broken limbs was so painfull to watch, ahhhh - please let there be consequences for injury, please let there - oh damn it - Dekus Mom is so super supportive of her sons dreams and fretts with him over the letter and the heroes and all, but of course he doesn’t tell her about his encounter with All Might, not even that he is now training, and leaves her in front of his closed door while he opens the letter from the UA, but, but why? They seem to have a good relationship with each other so far and she is super supportive, so why doesn’t Deku open up to her more? As far as we know, she is his only ally anyway since he didn’t have any friends in middle school. It either gets adressed or it WILL bother me to no end - on that note, glasses dude with the freaky legs already looks super promising and is probably gonna end up high on my fav characters list - Deku very clearly failed the exam in every way, but passed because he had good intentions. I see where they’re coming from since he did something heroic, but he absolutely risked his life recklessly and while that is heroic, it’s also so super stupid, if all the heroes constantly pulled stunts like this, there would be no UA - what kept All Might from giving Deku his hair like, a week prior so he could test out what the heck he could even do? It’s not like Deku suddenly became shredded in the last week, they wouldn’t have noticed a huge enough difference in that last week alone to make the muscle mass argument stick (since All Mights calculations were off anyway since Deku overexerted himself and all that) and it’s just so goddamn irresponsible and dangerous coming from a character that didn’t seem stupid enough to be that irresponsible - I know All Might probably counted on Deku being heroic instead of powerful, but that still made the entire thing super risky and dangerous. Rarg. - my suspension of disbelief is officially stretched beyond ever needing to worry about any of these character’s health, because clearly, they’re gonna make it as long as they have good intentions. yawn. - I know BNHA is a very classical shonen show in this regard, but it’s not like very classical shonen weren’t able to be at least a bit reasonable about the amount of injury a character survives within the first four episodes (for all its faults, Soul Eater was awesome about that, now that I think about it. One Piece meanwhile just convinced me right off the bat that injury is purely an aesthetic thing) - I think Mob Psycho may have ruined me for shonen forever :/ - They keep teasing really good ideas only to go ‘sike!’ and do the least interesting thing. - Like, Deku has no powers, but keeps books upon books filled with analysis of his fav heroes. That’s awesome! Do something with that! Have him work out and be smart and prove that people with useless/no quirk can be just as good if they work smartly! Have him fake a quirk to get in, or get in on All Might’s reccomendation, or- - or don’t have him get in because of the systemic discrimination and have Deku become a real, classic vigilante, protecting the quirkless and fighting systemic oppression. Or have him become a villain. - I bet there’s fanfic for that. Might check out. - On that note, how do people with non-combat powers ever get into the school. “Yes, I see that you have super healing, empathy, can calm other people down, paralyse them and would in general be an awesome hero to deescalate situations. But we prefer people with the power to punch things really hard.” isn’t there a mind control guy later in the show? How’d he get in? - on second thought, the school and the test make perfect sense because entrance exams be like that. Hnnng. I dropped the show. I’m not vibing with it :/

[cherryeol04]

Tomorrow, Today

Words: 3k

Summary: You’re not entirely sure what you’re doing with your life. Thankfully, your visited by an angel who helps guide you.

‘You keep pushing me while my eyes are half-covered’

You pulled the earbuds outs as the last Bell of first period rang and you were once more trapped in your study period. You always thought it was strange to have a study period in first period, but it seemed better than the alternative; science, history or worst of all, math. It was a period you could use to catch up on the homework you failed to do the night before and get in a little bit of studying before the quiz you would inevitably have in your third period. That teacher swears that she only gives pop quizzes. But there's nothing ‘pop’ about having a quiz daily at the beginning of the class and most of the material was stuff you hadn't covered yet. She was crazy and you were absolutely sure of it.

Your eyes moved to the front as the teacher stood from his desk. As he rose so did everyone else and you reluctantly joined. Running through the same mundane morning routine that just seemed to suck the life out of you, you were finally allowed to sit back down. With the instructions the same as always “study”, you plug your earbuds in and open up your chemistry textbook, your notebook open and posed, just ready to be written in. You were honestly thankful that music was allowed in the class because utter silence for nearly an hour would just drive you absolutely crazy.

Your fingers flew over the screen of your iPod, unlocking it and pulling up your music. You wanted to make sure it was on repeat of your new, current favorite song. It was by a group called JJ Project, aptly named for the two members that made up this group, Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebum. They had the singing voices of angels and their new single, Tomorrow, Today, was absolutely your favorite song. While many people could probably argue with you (and most likely would, knowing those crazy fans) that they had better songs, even in their fully formed group Got7, you have never heard a better song in your life. Mainly because the lyrics struck something deep within you. Feelings and confusion that you thought only you suffered from.

‘Somebody let me know, Tell me which way to go, Cuz I don’t, don’t, don’t know’

It was your senior year of high school. At the end of the year marked a big transition in your life. You were expected to go to college, find a major that would eventually lead you into your career. A career that would fully support you and whatever family you would have in the future. All the while, also having a social life to go and meet some nice boy and settle down with and eventually marry. Not to mention you were also expected to take care of your parents as they got older in life, since they spent 18 years of their life caring for you. At least you didn’t have siblings, but sometimes you wished you did. Maybe if you did, all the pressures of life wouldn’t be on your shoulders. You could share the responsibilities. Of course you would probably still be the first born and expected to care for them and be their role model. But maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad. At least you would have someone to talk to about your fears and worries in life.

Sure you had your parents, but would they really understand? Maybe, but as it was, they see life as a never ending routine. Wake up, study, pass exams, go to college, get a good career, make a lot of money, come home, eat and do it all over again. A never ending cycle like a robot. Up, work, down. Over and over like a mindless zombie and that was honestly a scary future to think about. You had your friends, and yes they were all going through the same things you were going through. Studying, exams, searching for colleges. But your friends somehow still bested you. Two of them were in the top 3% of the school with their scores. Your best friend having tested out of high school a year before due to her high scores on placement exams and was already in college. Another friend in your group could care less because in less than four months, she was going to be married to her high school sweetheart (who was three years older than her). He already had a secure job working with his father, but was going to school to get a degree and climb the corporate ladder. She needed to do absolutely nothing; her life was set.

And then there was you. You struggled day to day to finish your homework. Not because you had a tough life at home, or had to work after school. But because you hated school. You found it not only a waste of time but it was also very challenging for you. You never saw the need to be competitive and strive to be the best. You had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. Of course your parents knew what they wanted you to do with your life. But you wanted to make those choices, you didn’t want them to be made for you. And you didn’t want to make the choices that you thought were right, only to look back and wonder what your life would have been if you chose a different path. Would it be different? Was this the right choice? Should you go this way, or that way?

It was confusing and stress inducing. And the only solace you could seek was within your music. That’s why this song was so meaningful to you. It was like these people were in your head and could hear your struggle. Their song was about this, the struggle of choosing the right path in life without fear and regret that they chose the wrong way to go. So blind as to which was the right path for them, how could they make the right choice or answer the questions that life threw at them when they didn’t even know the answers themselves.

It was like your theme song; your life song. Tomorrow, Today. Where would you be tomorrow? How could you possibly know when you’re still living today? How could you possibly see into the future?

A heavy sigh left you as you laid your head down on the desk, eyes closing. You let your mind wander as you lost yourself in the song. Darkness surrounded you with a warm, welcoming embrace and you found yourself falling deeper and deeper into it. A gentle touch and a soft call of your name was pulling you from the embrace. You didn’t want to go, but the voice sounded so sweet, so soft, you couldn’t help but be curious as to who was calling you.

Your eyes opened slowly and they were flooded with light. But not the harsh light of the classroom you had been in. But a soft, natural light, which was strange to you. A soft groan left you as your eyes adjusted to the light for a moment, the large tree overhead finally taking shape and you wondered, where it came from. The sound of birds chirping also caught your attention and you were slowly becoming aware of the fact that you were outside. How and when did that happen? You were just in the classroom...weren’t you?

“Y/N.” You tilt your head back towards the voice and the face of the mysterious person suddenly comes into view. You have seen many handsome men before in your life, but none as handsome as this man. Such fair skin, amazing hair, gorgeous eyes and such plush lips. You swore you’ve seen him before, but you weren’t sure where. You also could swear that this was a dream, because honestly, how did you go from inside a classroom to outside under a tree? But that thought soon dissipated as the male smiled at you, his eyes crinkling as he did so and you thought it was honestly the cutest thing in the world. How could this man go from handsome to adorable in less than five seconds?

“Hey, are you awake? You went to sleep.” Sleep? Yeah, you remember going to sleep. Frowning, you stared at him for a moment before sitting up and looking around. It was an open grassy field with a beautiful view of the city out in the horizon. The sun was shining brightly above, making you feel nice and hot, but the occasional breeze came through to cool you off, making you feel warm and cozy. Turning your body, you realize your head been resting in his lap and judging from the items around you, he had been reading? Maybe this was some sort of picnic? There was a basket on the other side of him. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly, worry suddenly etched on his face.

“I…” you trailed off, eyes once more taking in your surroundings, trying to make sense of all of this confusion. How? When? Where and why? Looking back at him, you let out a soft yet confused laugh. “This is going to sound crazy but I don’t know where I am. Or how I got here. Or who you are.” The words tumbled right out of your mouth and it was like a light bulb was turned on in his mind. There was this strange look of understanding that crossed his features and he nodded slowly. This had to be a dream then. How could someone just seem to know? How could this guy just be so alright with what you said? You assume that you know him and you’re at least friends with him, if not something more. So how could he just be cool with the weird words that just left you? It’s not like you got hit in the head and went unconscious and now you have amnesia. Right?

“I get it.” he said and stood. He carefully placed his book in the basket and picked it up before holding out his hand, smiling once more at you. “Come with me.” he said. You were a little hesitant at first, to just take the hand of this random stranger, who was still so calm and collected about this whole thing! “Y/N, trust me.” Oh yeah, like you were simply going to just trust someone who told you to trust them. But something inside you told you to take his hand. So you did. Grasping it tightly, he pulled you up and just as suddenly as you found yourself in that field with him, your surroundings changed once more. Gone was the sunshine, the cool breeze and beautiful horizon. It was gloomy, overcast and you were standing at the end of a road. Before you were two signs, both arrows to let drivers know they could either go left or right. Two signs, one choice. Which way to go?

“I don’t get it.” you found yourself saying as you turned to stare at the male to your left, but he wasn’t there. Confused, you turned quickly to your right and he wasn’t there either. You turned in a circle, searching for the man that just been there, had just held your hand. But he was nowhere to be seen. You felt fear and panic start to set in. You were in a strange place, alone, with no guide to tell you what to do or how to get back. “Oh my god.” you whispered, hands moving to run through your hair as you exhaled slowly. Your eyes moved back to the signs and you slowly walked towards them. Looking to the left, you saw nothing but an empty road. Looking to the right, you saw the same thing. Two different paths, two different ways to go.

“How do I know which way is the right way?”

“Follow your heart.”

It was a soft voice, but you knew you had heard it before. It sounded exactly like the man that had just been with you. Now he was telling you to follow your heart? Well it was a little hard to do that when your mind kept coming up with scenarios of the worst case situation if you picked the wrong direction. How could you possibly pick and not know about the other way? You felt a soft, warm touch to your shoulder, the same you felt right before you had woken up. It was comforting and it silenced your brain long enough for your heart to take the lead and make your choice. Turning to the right, you stared at the road and nodded. This was the right path.

This was your path. You began walking with more confidence than you had ever felt before in your life. For once, you didn't feel lost. You didn't feel like every choice you made in your life was a mistake. You didn't feel like others were pushing you to make this choice. You made it this time. And it's the choice you were so proud to make.

As you walked down the road the skies grew darker and darker, but not once did you falter in your belief that this was the right choice. You kept walking until all that was around you faded to black and you were once more wrapped in the warm embrace of darkness.

“Y/N!”

Jolting awake, you looked around quickly as your earbuds fell from your ears. You stared up at your friend, her worried eyes scanning your face. “Are you alright? We're gonna be late for art class.” she said

Sitting up slowly, you looked around the familiar classroom and let out a sigh. A dream. It really had been just a dream. “Y/N?”

“Ah yeah. Sorry.” You said quickly and scrambled to grab your stuff and pack it in your bag. Standing, you smiled at her, before covering your mouth to stifle the loud yawn that left you. “Let's go.”

“If you say so, sleeping beauty. Have any good dreams?” she asked as she walked out of class with you.

“I wouldn't call it a good dream. But it as a dream.” You said with a shrug.

“Yeah? Tell me about it.”

“Ah...maybe later? I'm still trying to understand it myself.” You told her with a chuckle. You both made it to class with a few seconds to spare, the late bell ringing just as you both took your seat. After another mundane routine of greeting and instructions, you were left to work on your class project, a portrait of a person that you had yet to start because honestly, you had no idea who to draw. Until now.

Setting up the table easel, you attached the sketch paper and started working. Your hand moved effortlessly, sketching out each smooth and beautiful feature. Losing yourself in your sketch, you're just about done with it when you finally pull back to rest for a moment, your back screaming in relief.

“Wow! So that's who you've been drawing? That's the best sketch of Jinyoung I've ever seen.” your friend said in awe. Jinyoung? You sat there and looked at the sketch and you realized the male in your dream was indeed Jinyoung. This realization suddenly put the whole dream in perspective and you smiled to yourself.

“Follow your heart.” You whispered to yourself and grinned. That's exactly what you were going to do.

~*~Eight Months Later ~*~

For your graduation present, your parents got you tickets to a Got7 concert and a Got7 fanmeeting. They were so proud of you. You had turned around so quickly, getting better grades in school and you finally decided what you wanted to go to school for. While they weren't the biggest supports of an arts school, your national win in the art contest had all but proven to them your talent for drawing.

As you made your way down the table, getting your album signed by each member, you clutched tightly to your 1st place sketch of Jinyoung. It felt like forever and not that you weren't grateful to be able to see all the other members (Got7 was one of your favorite groups after all), you were dying to give this gift that the other members always eyed, wondering if it was theirs.

At last you reached Jinyoung and after the small greeting, you lifted up the drawing, pressed against a hard black cardboard back and laminated so nothing could ruin it. The 1st place ribbon was still attached to it and across the top read ‘Tomorrow, Today’. Jinyoung stared at it for a moment, marveling before accepting it with a gracious smile. Carefully he sat it next to him on the floor, leaning up against the chair so it wouldn't be trampled or stepped on.

“Thank you. It's beautiful.” he said. Simple words but they had you blushing. He would probably never understand how important that drawing was to you or the meaning behind it, but you did and knowing that he now had the source of your motivation and confidence, it made you happy. You were no longer lost and confused. You knew which path was yours and you were going to walk down it with your head held high and you were going to meet any forks in the road with confidence and follow your heart in making your decisions.

You watched as he leaned forward and uncapped his pen and started writing. You thought he was signing, but after a few seconds, his hands started making the large movements that signified his signature before he passed back the album. With a bow, you took it with a smile and started moving down to the last member. Looking down at the album, you read over the words careful.

‘Always follow your heart, Y/N. I'll always be rooting for you. Fighting~’

Brows furrowing, you quickly look back and stared at Jinyoung. He was looking back at you and gave a wink, which only added to the confusion you felt. It had all been a dream…

Right?

[ofthingschanged]

School breakdown I graduate May 31st, 2020.

Each term is six weeks, I have nine terms in total. (Last term is externships where I am working in the field)

Fridays I do not have to be in school unless a miss a day (Which given the breakdown of information coming up for you to see, I am going to school every day UNLESS I am vomiting)

I have two classes every term. So for one class I am there sitting in that class learning for 12 days. 

So for example right now I am in insurance and billing and medical office practices. So I have twelve days of insurance and billing class, twelve days sitting in that class. Twelve days sitting in Medical office practices. Twenty four days per term in total.

Each school day is five hours long. I am not going to subtract the hour we get for lunch or the tenish minute breaks we get every hour because that makes things more complicated. 

Each term for a class I am there for 60 hours in total. So in total each term I am at school for 120 hours.

So if I have two classes every term and I have eight terms of actual classes where I am not in the field. Eight times two is sixteen meaning I have a total of sixteen classes in EIGHT MONTHS OF GOING TO SCHOOL.

For my externship, I go for a term so twenty-four days of working just to be able to complete the course

So the total amount of hours I am in school for eight terms is 960 hours

Every term I get 6 Fridays off of school in an eight-term program I have 48 Fridays off

So 24 days of school perm term with 6 Fridays off.

this does not include breaks such as holidays like Christmas or thanksgiving. I am not sure I really am going to have a freaking Holiday

Homework each night when I come home takes a bit of time. I sit down to do it at around two (Because half the time we do get out thirty minutes early but not counting that into my math of how long I am at school because it isn’t an everyday thing) from two until around we will say 6 pm sitting there doing homework, notes, studying, etc. Small breaks of the bathroom and a snack but those are less than three minutes each as I will eat as I do homework.

I spent four hours studying, homework etc a day. So for four days of school a week I am studying for four hours each day a total of 16 hours a week.

this does not include the like four hours I tend to do Friday and Saturday for notes for the next week of school.

So around 120 hours of studying, homework, etc I will be doing the whole eight terms. This does not include the things mentioned above like my extra studying that I do each week

Now let's talk midterms and finals in case anyone was wondering.

Every three weeks you have a midterm and two of those that third week 

Every six weeks you have a final for each class so two of those. 

For a term, I have a total of 4 tests that count heavily on my grade to pass the course.

In total for eight terms, I have 32 tests. 16 Midterms, 16 finals. 

So, in short, I am really busting my ass to make a future for myself. This does not include if I want to become an RN which is another two years at this school (Normally nursing school is around four years from what I have been told). Now if I really wanted I could get how many weeks the externship for nursing is and if they follow the same thing of six weeks in each term, two classes that are done each term so we will figure out that math in a little while once I have the facts on that all straight. 

Eight months of being in school

120 hours in total of studying and homework, 16 classes,  960 hours of being at school. 24 days of externship. 32 tests (16 midterms, 16 finals). 1 test to that needs to be done and passed to be officially a medical assistant.

In order to pass the course, you need to have at least a C average. Each course to pass you have to have a C but what office wants a C average student? Not many I would imagine. 

ALL of this information is assuming you don’t fail a class at which point you are spending more hours studying, doing homework, more midterms, and finals, more time in class

So what did we just learn? Excellerated programs are no joke. That Jennifer here is busting her ass to have a future for my children (in the future)  to have a mother that can provide for them. To be the first person in my family to go to college and get a degree of any kind.  8 months   15 days in total in the program as a whole.

The amount of many I have to spend each month for the course is 37 dollars.  296 in total BUT this does not include the amount I have to pay back each month after I am out of school.

Once I am out of school the money I have to pay each month is $100, In one year a total of $1.200 is paid.

I have to do this for ten years.  $12000 in total not including interest. This is with grants and loans.

Now I heard there is such a thing called loan forgiveness which means if I work for a nonprofit for ten years I could have most of my loan forgiving but not sure how true this is.

All of this is really just an average. 

Normally financials are a very private thing but given that this is just a basic thing when it comes to how much a trade school costs. Now it was cut down because of grants and the information above is just on the loan. This is just to show everyone that college of any kind is EXPENSIVE no matter how much you get in grants and loans.

Trade schools are valid, trade schools are just as good as a regular college so never invalidate someone that is going to trade school. 

I feel like I should remind everyone that if I went to a normal college or a state college it would take me two years (If I was a full-time student) to get the same thing that I am getting at a trade school

IF you have any questions at all feel free to send me a message it can be through the ask box or ims.  𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲.

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 25 From the Top

(Prof H X Ted)

3 days since paul's birthday. 3 fucking days. Henry could think of nothing other than Ted. Henry hadn't really left his apartment since. He also hadn't showered since. Henry really just forgot how to function. All Henry could do was think.

Henry was laying in his bed staring at the ceiling. Theodore would be disappointed in him. He has to at least shower, to feel human.

Henry felt much better after the shower. He still needed to take care of himself. Henry really hoped Ted was taking care of himself.

Henry has canceled his classes for the day so he just sat on his couch in his robe. He maybe feeling better but getting dressed was even more effort. Henry didn't know what to do. He wanted to call Theodore but that is really a bad idea. Henry settled on watching the news.

"-what happened in hatchetfield four months ago, but what we do know is that is that no one is allowed on the island." Oh god more news on hatchetfield. In the first month after the incident, Henry just kept hearing lies about what happened that day. Told to keep quiet or to be executed. Henry contemplated changing the channel. He didn't

"Some beach goers have claimed to see movement on the island." The male newscaster announced in his newscastery voice. Those must be people working for PEIP. Just making final sweeps.

"Even creepier, some courageous sailors have claimed to have heard music from the island." WHAT

"That's pretty spooky Carol. Of course we have no evidence to go with these claims."

"What do you think Jim?" This can't be. It's been so long how has PEIP not eliminated all of the infected yet?

"There's no telling Car-" Henry turned the TV off to let himself think.

Four months, how is four months not enough time to kill them all? They were all stuck on the island. There aren't that many places to hide. The infected have aggressive tendencies, even if they could avoid PEIP, they would attack.

Henry hadn't studied the infected closely enough. He didn't know of the extent of there capabilities. They could have advanced in some unforeseen way.

But four months should be enough time for PEIP to... then again the people of PEIP were only human. They could... that's unlikely of course. PEIP is a well organized government branch.

Henry couldn't sort out his thoughts by himself. Henry picked up his phone and called Emma.

"Henry you're fucking lucky I'm on break. I'm at work what do you want." Emma's voice answered the phone. Shit he forgot that Emma works.

"When does your shift end?" Henry hoped it be sooner than later. He needed to barf up his thoughts to someone.

"Two hours, why?" Emma sounded a little concerned.

"I need to talk to someone. One of the survivors." Henry wanted to talk specifically to Emma, knowing she had some experience in the field of biology.

"Im sorry Henry. I don't know call Ted." Right. Henry had neglected to tell Emma what had happened that night.

Theodore wouldn't be ideal in this situation, he lacks experience in the field and isn't the most logical thinker. Of course he is one of three people he is legally allowed to talk about this with.

Right just call up ted. Simple.

This matter is more important than emotions. Henry dialed up Theodore. Breath.

It rang, and kept ringing. It took all of Henry's willpower not to hang up. Finally Ted picked up the phone. Henry wasn't going to waste a moment with uncomfortable exchanges

"Ted, I am afraid something might be wrong." Henry must have been speaking very fast but he could hardly focus on that.

"What?" Ted's voice was almost as timid as it was three days ago.

"I think there are still infected in hatchetfield and I fear the implications." Henry's brain was going at a million miles per hour. Reminding himself to breath of course.

"Ok." Henry couldn't tell if Ted was fully processing what he was saying.

"Can I come over to talk about it? I need to talk to someone. The phone is very limiting." Emotions were not Henry's main priority anymore. Love doesn't matter if the world is overtaken by fucking alien pathogens.

"Yeah of course." Ted sounded bewildered.

"I'm on my way over now." Henry threw on his clothes and was out the door rushing towards Ted's apartment. Thank god he took that shower.

Henry knocked on Ted's door. Theodore opened the door.

Wow Henry had almost forgotten what Ted looked like without tears in his eyes. But there are more pressing matters at hand.

"Hi." Ted smiled. It was nice to see him smile.

"Hello Ted." Henry smiled back.

Ted's smile dropped.

"You were saying something about the infected." Yes the reason he was here. Henry walked into the slightly gloomy apartment.

"I was watching the news this morning and they mentioned the hatchetfield catastrophe." Ted sat down on his couch. Henry needed to stay standing, To think properly.

"They mentioned that people have seen movement on the island from the beach. That's of course to be expected if PEIP is doing there job." Henry was pacing now.

"They also mentioned that they could hear music coming from the island." Henry turned towards Ted. His face was flushed.

"Fuck." Ted looked off.

"Precisely! Now it's not impossible that PEIP has not eliminated the remaining infected. Now that brings up the question of how could anyone hear their singing from miles off on a boat." Ted looked like he was following what Henry was saying.

"So there's got to be a bunch of them." Ted concluded.

"To be loud enough to hear from such a distance." Henry nodded.

"But PEIP's been There for four months how are there still that many infected?" Ted's smarter than he looks.

"My thoughts exactly!" Henry knew that discussing this with others would be ideal.

"What does that mean?" Now Theodore's thinking with his head.

"I don't quite know yet. I fear that perhaps the infected have gotten to PEIP officials. If this is true, there is no telling what the hive mind could do with that power. I have failed to fully understand the infected on my first encounter. I do not wish to encounter them again." Henry waited for Ted's input. Theodore looked to be processing all of this information.

"We need to tell Paul and Emma. We can think of somewhere to go from there." Ted nodded to himself.

"Emma's shift ends in around an hour."

"Paul doesn't have work today." Ted stood up and started to grab things from throughout the apartment.

"Paul and Emma are going to be less logical about this." Henry knew how Emma got sometimes when being reminded of what happened.

"Yeah. They need to know though." Ted stopped in front of Henry.

Oh Theodore. Henry despite his focus on the matters of logical thinking couldn't help emotions.

Henry put his has on Ted's shoulder. Henry kissed Ted quickly. He could help himself. Life is so finite, Henry couldn't waste time not being honest.

"I'm in love with you, Theodore. I just need you to know that in case what I am fearing is a reality." Henry took his hand off Ted's shoulder.

Ted hugged Henry.

"I'm scared too. But we might be wrong." Ted smiled. Henry kissed Ted once more before they headed out to tell the others.

[jordanjaeger]

Life Update + What Will Become of This Blog

Hello everyone! I know it’s been a very long time since I last updated this blog. I still log in and browse around from time to time, but obviously I’m no longer very active. So I apologize for that.

I see I’ve gained quite a few new followers. I want to say nearly 150-200+ since Fall 2017. I’m not sure. I haven’t really kept up with who’s new and who isn’t. That’s why I wanted to come on here and give you guys an official update and what the future of this blog may look like.

If you’re not necessarily interested in my life update, then you can go ahead and skip down to the section where I talk about my blog and what I foresee it becoming in the future. If you are interested in getting to know me, where I’ve been, what I’ve been up to, and how I’ve been, then keep on reading!

To my old friends whom I made when I first started this blog, I really, truly hope you are all doing well! I noticed some some of you have changed usernames, or moved on to new blogs. I’m just happy to see that most of you you all are still here. <3

As you may know, and to the new followers who may not know, I’ve been in college for about three almost four years now. My first university was a four year school just ten minutes away from my home. I attended there after graduating high school back in 2015, but I only attended for two years primarily to focus on my general education courses and save money. I did this because my first school didn’t offer my degree, which was Graphic Design, so I knew I would eventually end up having to transfer.

While I was at my old school, I had a lot of free time on my hands. If I wasn’t at school I was at home in, my room drawing, writing, or binge watching Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, and other various anime. It wasn’t until Attack on Titan season 2 that I really became invested in the show, and decided to create my blog jordanjeager.

I knew I loved anime and writing, and I had already been following a multitude of different AoT/SnK blogs, so I thought why don’t I create one myself? It’ll be fun, and hopefully I can make some friends who enjoy the same things as I do in the process. In the end, my blog became very successful. I found myself writing almost everyday all day, even at work, and I made about five or six really amazing friends on here.

In Fall of 2017 I transferred schools to pursue Graphic Design. That’s when things started to turn left. It was my first official “freshman” year as it was my first time being away from home, and having to adjust to a new city, new environment and new campus turned out to be more than I could handle. Also, I was distracted with new friends, and just overcoming personal battles that would help me to promote growth and happiness. Because of this, I had a hard time focusing on school which in turn reflected on my grades. Not to mention I was still trying to find time to write for my blog. I ended up triggering a small era of depression that would come and go.

2018 was just a bad year for me period. The friends I had made my first semester at my new school started falling off one by one. One got pregnant, so she moved back home, and the others just failed to reciprocate the same energy I had given, so I eventually backed off and became isolated. I was alone, and for a while I was fine with it, but as time went on, my depression worsened.

In the summer of 2018 I took two classes, each one was four hours long, which in total was 8 hours. You guys, I was going to school for 8 hours a day, four days out of the week, with no breaks. The classes were extremely accelerated and it felt like I was working a 9-5 job with no pay. Not to mention towards the end of the summer semester, I became extremely ill for two weeks.

Fall 2018 came around and my on and off depression had gotten a lot worse, mostly because of my degree. I was finally getting into my upper level classes for GD, and after barely passing one of my classes, I was starting to come to the realization that maybe GD wasn’t for me. But I was too conflicted to switch majors because I was afraid of either starting over or prolonging my graduation year. I currently won’t graduate ‘til Fall 2020. You guys, I’m 22. You see my dilemma here? 

I tried to do my research on what I else I could possibly pursue in the arts that wouldn’t put me behind, but my options were degrees that I knew I’d struggle to find a job in. I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck after spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on a degree.

Finally, 2019 rolled around and I started another semester. This time though, I’m taking the part II to the class I barely passed last semester. Still unsure of what to do as far as my degree, still depressed, I wondered if I’d ever find something to study that brings me joy and makes me happy, but will, at the same time, sustain me with a decent salary. Then something amazing happened.

After talking to one of my professors, whose class I both needed to take for my GD degree and am now currently taking, I learned of a new degree that overlapped with GD. It’s called Intermediate Design (app and website building) and it was basically the gist of the class I’m taking right now, which is Interactive Media. You guys, when I learned about this degree, I was quick to do my research and schedule an appointment with the advisor and head coordinator, because the class I’m taking now with said professor is basically a synopsis of ID, and I love my IM class.

So after talking to both the advisor and coordinator of the ID degree, I realized that this is what I want to pursue. This is what makes me happy. Despite it being challenging, I find myself becoming more and more excited as I work on my projects for my IM class, and if the projects I’m doing now are what’s to be expected of the ID degree, then I know what I want to do.

Since making the decision to switch my major, I have been nothing short of happy. I withdrew from the class that was the second part to the class I barely passed last semester, and am now only taking three courses. I can’t tell you how happy and relieved I am, and how much weight I feel has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I have a clearer headspace now that I know what I want to do for the remainder of my college career.

The Blog

With all that being said, I want to start back writing again. I’ve had a lot more time to catch up with AoT/SnK, and now that I’m up to speed with the manga, I feel inspired to write again. I want to write again. Writing has always been a hobby of mine and a getaway from everyday life.

I don’t have any friends where I go to school, so I’d like to pick back up this hobby because I know it’ll help take my mind off of the loneliness I sometimes feel being here. Plus, I know that I won’t be judged for liking the things I like and participating in the things I enjoy.

But, I want to know what you all’s thoughts are. To those of you who have been with me since the beginning and those of you who are new, would you be interested in me opening my request box up again? I still get many notes and reposts from you all, and I’ve even gotten a couple messages from some of you hoping that I’ll start taking requests again. I want to make this an experience for both you and I, and I want to become more engaged with my followers. So let me know you guys’ thoughts and I will take them all into consideration.

That’s all I have for now!

Xoxo

Jordan Jaeger

[shiroe-is-my-baby]

Violet Howl: The Origin

Summary: A young girl, scared of what she is becoming and unsure of how to control it. She can only learn from her experiences and work harder than she ever imagined to control the beast within her.

W: self-insert (eventual x canon), angst

((Note: some really heavy stuff gets mentioned here. this is my inserts origin story, well the beginning of it, there’s going to be multiple parts to this. im really excited for this, and I really hope that you guys enjoy it! a little warning some of these chapters will be really angsty, given that she has a pretty angsty beginning, as you can imagine.))

Next Part

For months something had been changing in me. It started out slow that I almost didn’t notice it. The changes in the way that I reacted to things and the soft uncomfortable pulsing of my veins. The shift in my insides that slowly started to creep from the inside out. Every full moon something would occur deep within me. Those were the nights that I felt the most whole. Like everything seemed to make sense. And slowly, everything began to spiral.

My ears became more sensitive, and my taste became more primal. My jaw began to ache after every meal and every so often my gums felt like they were pulsating. There was a difference in the way that I walked and talked and did everything in my daily life. Even my mom started to realize something wasn’t right. Something was different about me.

It didn’t make any sense. Even more so when the sleepwalking began.

It never used to be a problem for me before. Only one time in my life, when I was a child, I had sleepwalked. Usually, it’s caused by stress or some other external reason behind it. Even then, it had only happened once. This was an occurrence that continued to happen for an entire month. And I wouldn’t just sleepwalk around the house. Sometimes I’d wake up and I wouldn’t even be in the house anymore. I’d be miles away from home, covered in dirt and passed out on the ground.

The final time that I woke up in the woods, with nothing on my back and covered in what looked like blood, I was terrified. Scared of what could of happened while I was sleepwalking and wondering what exactly was going on. I was afraid to tell my mom. Luckily, up until this point, she had no idea what was going on. I was always able to get home before she realized that I was even gone.

With her busy schedule, being a single mom and working her hardest to provide for me and my sister, it was almost impossible for her to beat me home. I was afraid that if she knew, then that would make things worse. I had to find out what it was before I started to worry her. She had too much going on right now for me to throw this on her.

I thought that I could handle it on my own like I had everything else in my life. Pushing the burden onto my already struggling mother just didn’t seem like the best plan. So I kept it to myself and continued to hide my troubles. Using my sister to sneak out at late hours to test many theories, reading multiple books on sleepwalking and strange occurrences of the mind.

The only thing that I could gather from all that happened was that something strange was going on while I was under. I didn’t remember anything that occurred. And it only happened on every full moon.

From then on, I tried to keep myself awake for as long as I could. Tried every trick that I could to keep my body energized and awake. Hoping that this would stop me from going through it, or that I could somehow stop it. None of that seemed to work, and it only made me fail in my studies and fall asleep in the middle of class.

Then, I set up a camera in my room in the hopes of understanding just what was going on with me.

That was the moment that I finally seen the truth.

The next morning I raced to turn on my computer and reviewing the footage from the previous night. Again I had woken up in the park, passed out underneath a park bench. At this point, all I wanted was answers. I was getting tired and moody and I just wanted to understand. That way, if it wasn’t something too serious, I could finally tell my mom.

But as I watched the footage back, my eyes began to widen and my heart raced in my chest. The things that I witnessed before me… were unspeakable. They were almost impossible. And yet I was watching it happen right in front of me. It was hard for me to deny it, when I was watching my body change right in front of me. From human to large being in a matter of seconds. I hadn’t seen it happen, since by the time I had jumped out the window I was fully changed. But I got to see all that I needed to.

This was more than I would ever hope to understand. This was something straight out of a comic book, and yet it was my reality. I was frantic in figuring out what was the best thing for me to do. Even if I came clean to my mom, she would want to know more. She would want to turn me in, and I wasn’t ready for that.

But my secret was too big for me to keep. Before too long, it would be bigger than myself alone. I had no way of understanding the full extent of my power. I was a naive teenager. Scared and alone. Every night I’d be afraid of falling asleep, because I never knew what would happen. I was afraid of my emotions getting too erratic.

Slowly, I felt my body changing more through my emotions. I became more impulsive and angry at times. It was hard to control, and I lashed out at the ones that I loved more than I ever would. The one person that I always promised to protect and comfort and watch over would become a victim.

One night, my mother had a shift change and needed to stay a few more hours. Which meant I would have to watch my sister a little bit longer. Not that I didn’t mind. We had a very close relationship, and she was always really good for me. She listened well and did as she was told. But tonight, after a small argument over her bedtime, I felt the anger bubbling in my chest.

One second I was raising my voice a little, and then in a blink of an eye I was snarling. My hands were no longer just hands. The nails started to grow until they were razor like. And my teeth started to burn as the canine teeth began to grow. I was foaming at the mouth and becoming something that I never knew was possible.

And ever since then… my sister had never looked at me the same way again.

My mother knew that something had occurred, but my sister was so scared of me that she couldn’t speak of it. She was also afraid of what would happen if she came forward. I cried and apologized frantically over and over for what I had done. Promising her that it’d never happen again, and asking, pleading for her not to tell a soul.

It was wrong of me to ask such a thing, but I was scared too.

Scared of what would happen to me… and scared of what I could become.

It wasn’t until one accident that my secret slowly started to become known. Something that I couldn’t avoid, and at the same time I wish that I could take back.

My sister and I were constantly being made fun of. Whether it be for our run down shoes or our innocent faces, or just the way that we seemed like easy targets. I wanted to be the older sister that could defend her, that could protect her from those that wish harm to her. Even after all of this, I wanted to protect myself. I had made no attempt to get to know this power, and I had paid the price for it that evening.

The afternoon that my sister and I were cornered by some Seniors. They were clearly amused by our scared reactions and our feeble looks. The timidness of our souls must have been exactly what they wanted. It was disgusting to watch them threaten us with physical strength and other terrible things if we reacted unpleasantly. To think that kids like this in our school existed still makes my stomach churn.

The only thing that mattered in that moment was my sister. She was the only thing I saw in that moment. The scared look on her face and the fear that something might happen to her. My heart felt like it was about to burst from my chest, and the blood in my veins were pulsating painfully. I couldn’t stop the rush of adrenaline, and the power overcame me.

Within seconds I became the beast that lingered inside me. Right in front of those four kids and my sister. I could say that I couldn’t imagine how terrifying it was, but I would be lying. In that moment, I could see everything as if it wasn’t happening to me. As if I was an outsider with no control over my body. I couldn’t do anything to stop myself.

Luckily for me the kids got away, only one of them getting a little scratched by me in the process. No one got hurt, and I am thankful for that every day. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened if they weren’t fast enough.

My sister, even though she was young, continued to tell me that it wasn’t my fault. She cried for me, and I cried for myself. It didn’t seem fair that this was happening to me. I almost wanted to throw it all away and run. Because if I can’t promise that I won’t hurt those around me, than is it really safe for me to be anywhere near them?

When we returned home, I immediately told my mom everything. I never left a single thing out. I couldn’t. It was becoming too much for me to handle alone.

That was the last night we spent in that house. My mom barely had anything to her name, but she packed up and found a place for us in a city a few hours away. Then, we had a long discussion about my future. It wasn’t an easy thing to swallow. There was always the option of turning myself in, finding people that know how to deal with others like me. It felt like the smartest decision, and yet, i was too selfish to do it.

I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving my mother alone, let alone leaving my family in the first place. But at the same time, it was selfish for me to leave them in harm’s way. So I promised that no matter what, I will do whatever it takes to control my power. No matter how long it takes, I will get a grip on myself, as long as it keeps them safe. They were the driving force in everything that I did from that day forward.

Even today, as I sit on the balcony of my New York apartment, all I can do is continue to think of them. In every decision that I make, they are the reason behind it all. I don’t do anything without wondering how it’ll affect them. Even though I’m miles and miles away, I continue to do better for them. My drive to help make this world a better place starts with my family.

Getting a grasp on my powers was not an easy task. Even learning to sleep through the night without shifting was hard enough. Controlling my emotions and stabilizing the damage was more difficult than anything I’d ever done before. But I did it for them. For everyone that I would ever come into contact with, especially those that I love. For those that can’t protect themselves, and everyone in between.

I wanted to be something great. I wanted to be someone that could make a positive impact on the world. Not someone that tears it down.

The guilt that weighs on my heart will continue to be there, and I will continue to use that to make me a better person today. I am not who I was years ago, and tomorrow I will not be the person I am today. With every step forward, I will never look back. No matter how hard it may seem, I’m doing this for the greater good.

This is my journey… to becoming a hero.

[madnadidraw]

Parents/Caregivers Take Note:

It is currently 12:15 AM at the time of me beginning to write this. 

The night before this post, I tried to make a text after 11 PM  (it was at 11:10 PM to be exact) and found that my phone would not send the text. I then received a text from my cellular service provider (CSP) stating that “Your phone has been restricted by the account owner. You cannot send messages until the time of day restriction ends”. The very first thing I did was screenshot it, send it to my mom (because I knew it was her that had done this), and asked if she was serious, and why? She was hoping it would help me go to bed sooner, but added that she had started it as of a week or so ago. I replied that this could only hurt my situation.

Why? Because I stay up until very late, the absolute earliest I go to bed is 2 AM and that is rare. I usually end up falling asleep at 4 AM, or I don’t sleep at all. Why? Because I have chronic nightmares that leave me waking up unable to get out of bed in time for school. Why? Because I have been through traumatic experiences, and every time I dream I relive those experiences. Just mentioning my dreams is breaking me close to a breakdown, but this post is important.

My mom is aware of all of the above information 

Turning off my texting and calling abilities only meant I could not reach out to any type of mental health professionals (specifically the ones I use), usually not something I’d need, but important in a crisis. Here’s where we get to the important bit, crises. Catastrophic breakdowns. Ones that greatly inhibit my ability to do much of anything, or at least specific tasks.

It is currently 12:27 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 12 minutes.

At 11:04pm I open up Snapchat, the app I use to message everybody I am relatively close to, excluding family, to respond to a text from my partner. It does not go through. I try again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. I try all kinds of social media again, and again and again. And Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing Again Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No. Thing. At all. I am locked out. Now. Now I’m in crisis. For the past hour and a half I have been riding the waves of “IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN” and “I cannot shut down I have work to do”. I have done nothing but cope for the past hour and a half, yet I am still trying to do work before I fall asleep. I am currently on my desktop, rather than a mobile device in bed, to avoid falling asleep. 

It is currently 12:36 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 21 minutes. 

Why? Because I have a test tomorrow, a test which I have to teach myself content for due to extreme amounts of absences. A test I cannot afford to get any less than an A on, as grades close quite soon for this quarter. A quarter I cannot afford to fail (or receive less than an A on), because then I’ll be stressed for all of next quarter, because this is the only AP level or college level course that I have had an A in this year, all year. An A I promised myself I would get, because last year I constantly rode the line of a high C and a low B. I ended up getting a C first semester, and a B second semester. The C was a result of my traumatic experiences, and I promised I wouldn’t let that affect my math grade ever again, because math has always been one of my strongest classes. One of the strongest reasons I had been admitted to my dream school. Failing this test? Not an option. So, since I got home from school, finished dinner, and grounded and isolated myself (7 PM) I had been working on studying for this test. That’s four straight hours of studying, which is extremely abnormal, as I rarely do any assignments, much less studying. But at 11:04 PM that all stopped. Everything stopped. I shut down. I focused on grounding, coping, and recovering. I had had a terrible day, all day. 

It is currently 12:47 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 32 minutes.

Why? I had gone to bed early. So I had a nightmare. So I was uncomfortable from the start, I was ashamed, paranoid, triggered, scared, and I hated every inch of my body, but I didn’t want to be late again to first period. So I forced myself to make this a good day. It was a Wednesday. We had Friday off (Good Friday). I could get through this day. I didn’t have the ability to attend the partial hospitalization program (PHP) I attend to treat my PTSD today, because of an appointment I had been planning for months (well before I knew I would be in PHP). But I knew I would be there tomorrow, and although I usually leave school at 12:45 PM, my appointment would have me relatively excited, so it felt as though it would balance out. It didn’t.

It is currently 12:55 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 40 minutes.

 Assembly for seniors which pertains to the big class events, mainly Senior Prom. My friends decide to sit directly in front of The Jocks TM, people I just generally don’t get along with, but I followed because I can handle myself. Or I thought so. A group of The Jocks TM decided to boo when our principal came out to speak about senior prom. I needed as much info as possible, because I am bringing my partner to senior prom, and they attend a different school. So I am already anxious and nervous, but they’re making it worse because I can’t listen and get the info I need. And then he mentions the breathalyzers, a mandatory part of just about every prom across my state. And they boo. They’re yelling, so much so that the principal has to pause and wait. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but now I’m worried about senior prom. Now I’m worried they’re going to do their best to get absolutely wasted and I do NOT want to bring my partner into that environment. Not because I’m possessive and want to shelter them, but because prom is an expensive event that I invited them to specifically so that we could enjoy it together, even though it was expensive. I haven’t even made it to my second period yet, and my paranoia is already through the roof.

It is currently 1:04 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 49 minutes.

Second period flows, I speak to some people, I calm down a bit. Then third period hits. Third period is my math class. The teacher would be out, so it was essentially a study hall. I was hoping to use it to catch up/study, but instead I’m discussing the assembly and senior prom with kids I know might have info, some, any, a fucking word idgaf, about what to expect after our principal announced the breathalyzers, I mentioned how I was bringing my partner and they attend a different school, and I didn’t want them to have that as their one and only experience with my school. Nothing. Not an ounce of anything remotely helpful. I’ve already used just about all of this period to discuss senior prom, so I decide to focus on catch up work. Nope. Not happening. Instead a group of kids sitting directly next to me start talking about a trans-girl I know, and they are saying ignorant things. Based on the conversation, I can rationally deduce they weren't being transphobic/homophobic, they just aren’t up to date with the language. But as a now extremely paranoid gay woman, hearing something remotely anti-LGBT put me into an even greater state of paranoia, and fear, because I am openly gay and they are discussing this right next to me. Finally the period ends, and I can relax into one of the two lunch periods I have (because I have a heavily reduced schedule to help cope with stress and trauma, both of which are heavily tied to the school building itself). I get through that, enter my fifth period class, acting, and finally get to my second lunch, sixth period. Sixth period I go to see my guidance counselor to continue discussing what can be done about AP physics, the class I have next period (two on lab days). The class I am currently failing. The main stressor out of all my classes. She says my dream school, the one I will attend in the fall, has not gotten back to her about dropping it/taking it as a pass fail. 

It is currently 1:20 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for over an hour now. I have not left the room, gotten a drink, gotten a snack, or even stood up out of my chair in the since 11:04 PM.

No big deal, I’ll just tell my physics teacher what’s goi- “Nadia the test you were supposed to make up Friday, but haven’t been able to yet? I want you to take it now. I figured you might as well get it out of the way considering you have this period and next to work on it” 

It is currently 1:25 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for 70 minutes.

Oh. Can I check my phone real quick?

Sure.

+4 new emails to your school email!

*Opens*

(From my guidance counselor): Nadia [dream school] just called, please come see me

Hey uhhhh, my guidance counselor wants to see me RIGHT now.

Really? That’s odd. I’ll call her, you get started on the test.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I filled in random answers on the multiple choice, skipped the open ended questions, and made it look like I was working on it until the end of eighth period. I cover up the blank spaces where writing should be with the multiple choice packet, hand it into the teacher of the room I was randomly thrown into, and book it to my counselor’s office to catch her before my appointment.

It is currently 1:29 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but hold back tears, ground myself, and write this post for the past 84 minutes.

They said you can’t drop it if you want to be certain you’ll be there in the fall, they want to see you get a C or above in the.....

That’s it.

That’s the last piece.

I’m broken.

Since 11:04 PM I have done nothing but try to ground myself and cope with the fact that I lost my connection to almost everything. That I will continue to lose this connection every night at 11:00 PM. That I will lose any and all electronic based or assisted coping mechanisms I may have, until after I wake up. It is currently 1:33 AM as I write this time-log, I have done nothing but work on this post for the past 89 minutes, and I have been trying to cope and ground myself for roughly two and a half hours (149 minutes).

So. Let’s recap

I have had a bad day.

After my appointment I got home and began studying for my test at 7 PM

At 11:04 PM I had a break down, and have been trying to cope and ground myself since. 

I have not finished studying yet, and I intend to stay up, rather than try to sleep earlier, to finish doing so.

The test I was and will be studying for, whether this is true or not, feel as though it will decide where I spend the next year of my life.

Now for the obvious question:

How could this have been avoided?

Am I asking for my mom to not have turned off service for my phone? No. She had already turned off texting, this was the obvious next step.

Now my answer, my main take away for parents and caregivers.

Talk to your kids.

Talk to your kids about punishments you intend to use, whether they’ve done something wrong or not, so that you can be sure it won’t break them.

Talk to your kids. 

Talk to your kids about what you expect from them, ask them to honestly tell you what their limits are, even if they conflict with these expectations.

But most of all.

Talk to your kids.

Talk to your kids when you’re trying to help them, make sure your proposed solution or support does not end up hurting them. If my mom had told me about this, even at 10:59 PM, a minute before it would take place, this break down could have been avoided.

RECOGNIZE THAT YOU DO NOT ALWAYS KNOW BEST

Parents and caregivers; if you expect your kids (or those receiving your care) to trust you? To respect you? To be honest with you? 

TRUST THEM FIRST

If you always assume that you and you alone know what’s best for your kids, that you alone know how to best support them and reprimand them. 

You need to recognize that kids are still people and can speak for themselves.

I am 18 years old, I am not asking you to start talking to your one month old as if they are in high school. I am asking you to give us the respect that you think you deserve. The fact that...

...It is currently 1:46 AM (14 minutes before the earliest time I fall asleep) as I am writing this time-log, I have been trying to cope and ground myself for 162 minutes, and working on this post for 102 minutes...

...should be message enough that assuming you know best, does not work.

[greatpretending]

This City Never Sleeps (When We’re Dancing)

Word Count: 5043

Pairing: Eventual Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and light cursing.

Summary: Part Four of This City Never Sleeps. Just as you’re coming to terms with your feelings for Peter, everything falls apart.

Tags: @seargantbcky​ @darlin-you-bitch​ @emily-ily2​ @rosep16​ @comics-and-stuff​ @t4rt-deco​ @octopishisahybridanimal​ @slythergirlimagines​  @philipshaaayyyy @catwoman2502@minimalistxx @sophiatomlinson23@johnsonxstilinski @raindancer2004 @vanessly@newyorkrebel @letstrysomefanfic @half-superhero @mermaid-princess-wannabe @mmmaff @spideysensesparker @ttholland

“Did you take Peter’s suit away?!”

You stormed into the workshop, where Tony was working on something or another. He had been spending a lot more time at the penthouse during the limbo between moving the Avengers from the Tower to the new facility upstate.

“Yes, I did.” Tony said plainly, not looking up from his work.

“How could you do that?” you asked angrily. “Peter loves being Spider-Man more than anything! He’s found his calling- you can’t just take that away from him!”

“I can, and I did.” Tony replied, finally meeting your eyes.

“That’s not fair!” you shouted. “Peter doesn’t deserve--”

“People almost died today,” Tony cut you off. You could tell he was starting to lose his patience. “Peter almost died today. He’s been throwing himself recklessly into danger, and I can’t have that on my conscience.”

You put your hands on your hips and took a deep breath. Getting in a fight with Tony wasn’t going to help the situation. You needed to be the supportive link between him and Peter. And honestly, you could see where Tony was coming from. After Rhodey getting injured and all the fighting between the Avengers, he was just trying to protect someone else he cared about. Too many people had already been hurt.

“Look,” Tony said. “I know you kids like to think you can save the world, but the adults can’t do it either, so we have to keep you guys safe for as long as we can.”

That put some tension in the air for a moment. The words were heavy, but they were absolutely true. You sighed.

“I’m going to go make sure he’s okay,” you said. “He hasn’t texted me back all afternoon. I had to find out what happened from Ned.”

“Good, go be his friend,” Tony said, turning back to his work. “Kids need friends, not overbearing responsibility.”

A short while later you were standing outside Peter’s bedroom door, arms full of comfort foods and DVDs. You knocked and waited patiently as you heard Peter get up from his bed and pad over to the door. It swung open, and Peter didn’t even look surprised to see you. He just looked so… sad. You could tell he had been crying, his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. His hair was a mess.

It broke your heart.

Peter didn’t say anything to you, he just left the door open and went back to his bed. Before he closed the window, you could see he had been watching videos of Spider-Man on youtube. You stepped into the room and closed the door behind yourself gently.

“So,” you began. “We can either talk about it and eat all this junk food I brought, or we can watch Back to the Future, eat the junk food, and not talk about it.”

“Movie,” he mumbled, popping open his disk drive. You took over the laptop and set up the movie, turning off the lights before settling onto the bed with Peter, opening a bag of chips for the two of you to share.

You spent the next hour paying more attention to Peter than the movie. You tried to gauge his mood and read his thoughts with every move he made. You longed to reach out and hold his hand, or even just touch his arm- something to comfort him and let him know you were there to support him. But you didn’t, because the last thing you wanted to do was cross a line and make him more upset than he already was.

“I was just trying to help,” Peter said quietly. You turned to look at him, he was still looking at the screen. “Y’know, I thought… I thought no one was listening to me. I thought no one else was going to stop them, I… I was afraid…”

Screw it, you thought. You reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back.

“I just wanted to help.”

In the following weeks you kept a close eye on Peter, and you watched him grow a little happier every day. You watched as he started doing better in his classes, he started building computers again, and you even saw him reading a book for pleasure- something you hadn’t witnessed in months.

You were glad to see the dark circles under his eyes fade as he started getting more sleep. You were really beginning to see the old Peter in him again- the pre-stress, pre-Spider-Man Peter who was relaxed and loved making puns and who was on a personal quest to find the best alfredo pizza in Queens. You started to think that maybe it was a good thing that Tony took his suit away.

This- this was the Peter you knew you definitely had a crush on. The sweet, caring boy who was passionate about his hobbies, who loved his aunt more than anything in the world, and who never failed to make you laugh. As the days passed you started to gather your courage. Homecoming was that weekend, and you wanted to dance with Peter at least once. You tried to not spend sleepless nights and boring classes imagining his hand on your waist and his face so, so close to yours, but you were weak, so that’s what took up most of your thoughts. A couple times you’d been called out in class for not paying attention, but you managed to make it through Friday without any serious incident.

And then disaster struck.

You were standing outside the school gates talking to Ned before he got on the bus when Peter sprinted up to you.

“IjustaskedLiztoHomecomingandshesaidyesIgottagobye!” Peter shouted, before taking off again. You said nothing as you watched him run.

“Did he just say that he asked Liz to Homecoming and she said yes?” Ned asked.

“Yep,” you said, feeling the crack in your heart grow longer by the second.

“Oh no,” Ned said. He started to say something else, but just then his bus pulled up to the curb. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll text you!” Ned said as he climbed onto the bus.

You looked back to the last place you had seen Peter, before he turned the corner. Of course he still liked Liz. He’d shown no indication of liking you back. And why wouldn’t he like Liz? She was tall and pretty and smart and you were--

“She’s not better than you, you know,” a voice said behind you, making you jump. You spun around and Michelle was there, wearing an unreadable expression.

“How do you always do that?” you asked, a little annoyed.

“Liz isn’t better than you,” Michelle repeated, ignoring your question. You laughed.

“Well, it’s kind of a confidence killer when all they do is talk about how pretty and smart she is,” you said. Michelle looked at you quizzically.

“You know you’re pretty too, right?” Michelle asks. “Unfairly so. And? You’re also incredibly smart. It won’t be long before you’re the ‘new Liz Allan’ of the school, just like how Liz is the ‘new Maddy Crochet.’ High Schoolers cycle through the same roles over and over.” Michelle began walking away, but turned around, pointedly looking down at your watch and then back at your face. You tugged your sleeve over your wrist. “You know it can be sooner rather than later.”

You shook your head before heading to your car, hands shoved in the pockets of your hoodie. Cool, so Michelle knew everything all the time, apparently. You were starting to think she was less observant and just had the ability to read minds. With everything you’d seen it would hardly surprise you.

It wasn’t until you were in the car and halfway home that you got a text from Ned.

dude im so sorry

It’s fine.

no its not i kno u really like him

It’s fine, Ned, I just… won’t go to Homecoming.

what??? u cant skip hoco!!

I don’t want to see them together I just… I’ll think about it.

ok let me know if you want to talk

When you got home you went immediately to the workshop. Tony was already in there, music playing loudly as he reworked the wiring on one of his suit’s hands. You dropped your backpack on the ground and sat down at your bench, setting to work on your heart regulator. This project had been your baby for years, and nothing made you feel better like making progress on it.

“How was school?” Tony asked you.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you replied, opening a drawer and pulling out a pair of pliers.

“Pizza for dinner?” Tony asked. Tony never pried. He knew you would talk to him when you were ready.

“Yes please.”

Pepper found you in the same spot the next afternoon.

You were getting into the finer details of your creation, trying to set the electrical pulses just so, and you weren’t having much luck. Either it was emitting a wave so small you could barely feel it buzzing on your hand, or so strong that it was jumping to every bit of metal it could reach. You just couldn’t find that happy medium, and you were growing more frustrated by the second.

You reset the transducer again and flipped the switch. Lightning jumped out of the machine, sending sparks flying in all directions before it overwhelmed itself and shut down completely.

“Damnit!” you shouted, slamming a fist onto the table. Why couldn’t just one thing go right? You put your face in your hands and did your best to hold back tears. You always hated that you were a frustrated crier. You started cleaning up your bench, opening and closing drawers a little too hard.

“What is going on with you?” Pepper asked from the doorway, and you startled, not having heard her come in. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Stupid transducer isn’t working,” you grumbled, closing your notebook and stuffing it back in your backpack. Pepper rolled a chair over and sat down next to you.

“Okay. What’s the real problem?” she asked patiently, and suddenly you found yourself telling her everything. It was like a dam had broken open and the words were just spilling out of your mouth. You told her how worried you had been about Peter and how much you had grown to like him over the past few weeks. You told her about Liz and how you wanted to hate her but you couldn’t because she was too freaking nice. You told her about Michelle and how she knew your secret and how much that scared you. You told her you were tired of having so many secrets.

“Clearly, you have to go to the dance,” Pepper said, when you were finally done. You laughed, not looking up from your feet. “I’m serious,” Pepper insisted. “Go have a good time with your friends, and don’t let one boy ruin it for you. Go for you, you’ll have more fun there than you will sitting in this grease-trap,” she said, and then quieter and with a wink, “Showing Peter what he’s missing will just be a little added bonus.”

“Even if I were to go, the dance starts at seven and it’s…” you looked down at your watch and laughed again. “Five fifty-two. There’s no way I’d make it in time.”

“So be fashionably late,” you and Pepper both snapped your heads up at the sound of Tony’s voice. He was leaning casually in the doorway, and you had no doubt he’d heard everything. “Take one of my cars. Really make an entrance. Hell, we’ll drive you on our way to the airport.

“You’re a Stark,” Tony said. “And when Starks get knocked down, we get back back up, stronger, wiser, and better than ever, and we work the problem until it’s solved. You can’t solve your problems out there by holing yourself up in here.”

You looked back and forth between the two of them, each returning your gaze expectantly, before you finally stood up.

“Okay,” you said. “I’ll go.”

Pepper clapped her hands together in delight and immediately started ushering you down the hall, Tony trailing behind. She sat you down at the vanity in your room and set to work on smoothing your hair, twisting it and pinning it into a loose, wavy updo while Tony went to retrieve a car from the parking garage under the building.

“What were you planning on wearing?” Pepper asked you as she started on your makeup. She left it mostly natural, enough to accentuate your features but not dramatic enough to change them.

“I… wasn’t. I was going to decide last night, I know I have plenty of options in my closet,” you replied, starting to panic. You didn’t have time to try everything on.

“On it!” Tony called, zipping back through your bedroom door and into your walk-in. He started pulling dresses out, holding them up for you and Pepper to appraise.

“Too formal.”

“No one can pull off that color. I don’t know why I bought it.”

“That’s a sundress.”

“That’s a Halloween costume.”

“Wait!” Pepper exclaimed. She stood up straight, lip pencil in hand. “Grab the white one that she wore to the Tonys this year.” Pepper turned back to you. “That one makes you look like an angel.”

Tony disappeared back into the closet to find the dress, and reappeared just as Pepper was swiping the final coat of gloss over your lips. “Is this it?” he asked.

“That’s the one!” Pepper exclaimed. She took the dress from him and shooed him out of the room.

Pepper helped you into the dress, zipping up the back for you and finding your shoes for you while you changed the strap on your watch to your “fancy event” band. You slipped on the shoes, hooking a few sparkling earrings into your lobes before standing in front of your full-length mirror. Pepper opened the door again and let Tony back inside.

“Wow,” he said. “Pepper was right, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you said, trying to not feel too embarrassed. You looked down at your watch. 7:12. With good traffic you could make it to the school in twenty minutes.

“You’re right,” Tony said, noticing where your attention was. “We’re late. Cars ready, let’s go!”

The three of you hurried to the elevator, and you felt more and more nervous with each floor you passed. When you finally made your way through the lobby and out of the building you were shocked by the car parked in front of you.

“We’re taking the Maserati?” you squeaked. The red and gold car was the flashiest thing Tony kept in New York City.

“I did say we were going to make an entrance, didn’t I?” Tony replied with a smile, opening the door for you. You carefully sat inside- for your sake and the car’s- and gathered your dress inside so Tony wouldn’t close it in the door. Pepper turned around in her seat to look at you.

“Everything is going to be fine,” she said with a smile. “You’re going to have a lot of fun, I promise.”

You tried to smile back, but you weren’t sure how convincing it was. Tony got in the driver’s seat and you were off, headed towards Midtown and there was no turning back. What if this was all a mistake? What if you got picked on more after this? How would Flash treat you when he found out he wasn’t the richest kid in the school anymore? What if you had to watch Liz and Peter dance together? What if you saw them kiss?

You pushed the thought out of your head, and decided to try to distract yourself by pulling out your phone and sending a text to Ned.

Obviously going to be late, but I’m on my way.

yay!! peter and liz arent even here yet oh wait liz just walked in

You didn’t reply. You didn’t need any more details to overthink. Instead you opened Snapchat and took a selfie, adding a little “Homecoming ♡” caption and putting it on your story. You scrolled through Instagram for the rest of the ride, making light conversation with Tony and Pepper about their trip upstate while you looked at picture after picture of your classmates getting ready for the dance.

You managed to subdue your nerves for a while, but as Tony pulled the car up in front of the school they came back full force. Your stomach twisted inside you and your heart pounded in your ears as you looked out the window and saw every student standing outside or close enough to the windows to see the Maserati staring at you. They just didn’t know it was you yet. Pepper turned around to look at you again.

“Knock ‘em dead,” she said. “And call me in the morning.”

“I will,” you said, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Tony got out of the car and opened your door for you. You heard the instant murmur of recognition from your classmates, but you forced yourself to ignore it as Tony helped you out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

“Work the problem until it’s fixed,” he said quietly, kissing you on the cheek as well. He got back in the car and rolled down the window. “Have a nice night, sweetie!” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. He didn’t usually call you by pet names like that, but you knew exactly what game he was playing.

“Thanks Uncle Tony!” you called as he drove off. Then you turned and faced the school. All eyes were on you, but you didn’t make eye contact with anyone. You were afraid you’d lose your small burst of courage if you did. Instead, you focused solely on the door handles, not looking away from them as you walked up the steps. Everyone grew quiet again as you walked past those standing outside, the only things you heard were the traffic behind you and the muffled thumping of the bass coming from the speakers in the gym.

You reached the door at last and pulled it open, music, laughter, and conversation bursting from inside. You walked into the gym, painfully aware of how many eyes were on you, and how quickly the news was spreading that you’d just been dropped off by Tony Stark.

You frantically searched the crowd for a friendly face, and your eyes fell on Michelle, standing by herself near the edge of the dance floor. You made your way over to her, more than happy to be in the company of someone non-judgemental.

“Well, well, well,” she said with a smile when she saw you. “I’m almost Starked- sorry, shocked that you showed up.” You rolled your eyes at her lame joke.

“Pepper can be pretty convincing,” you said, smiling back. It felt good to be able to talk about your life without worrying about keeping your secret. “I love your dress.” Leave it to Michelle to wear something completely surprising, yet not surprising at all.

“Me?” Michelle laughed. “You look like you just stepped off a red carpet!”

“Well, y’know…” you said, averting your eyes. Then something caught your attention.

Liz was standing on the dance floor with a couple of friends, visibly upset. You looked around, but Peter was nowhere to be found.

“What’s up with Liz?” you asked Michelle. “Where’s Peter?”

“Beats me,” Michelle replied with a shrug. “We saw him for like, half a second and then he went running off. Ned disappeared a few minutes later. It was weird.”

“Yeah…that’s weird,” you said, growing worried. “Hey, I’m going to run to the bathroom, okay?” You didn’t wait for a response as you hurried out of the gym.

“Bathroom’s that way!” you heard Michelle call behind you, but you didn’t stop.

You pushed the door open and stepped into the dark hallway, but before you could call Ned and ask him what the hell was going on, you saw him being led in the direction of the principal’s office.

“Ned, wha-”

“The vulture has landed,” Ned cut you off, eyes wide and frantic. “The vulture has landed!”

Catching his meaning, you immediately pulled out your phone, dialing Tony’s number and pushing your way through the crowd of students back to the front door. It went straight to voicemail. Shit. You dialed Pepper’s number, but it also went to voicemail. They must be going through security at the airport. You dialed Happy’s number, and crossed your fingers as it rang, but he didn’t pick up.

“Damnit!” you said, pushing your way out the front door.

You were met with gasps and exclamations, and you looked up to see a giant fireball streaking its way across the sky.

“Oh my god, PURDUE get my suit here as fast as you can!” you said.

“Two minutes until suit arrival,” PURDUE told you.

You watched with everyone else as the flames ripped through the night sky. Somehow, you knew Peter was on that plane. You tried Happy’s phone again, but he still didn’t pick up. Soon, you saw your suit headed toward you, and you hurried down the steps to meet it. It landed on the sidewalk and opened itself up. You kicked off your shoes and gathered your skirt awkwardly around your hips, stepping into the suit. You didn’t have time to worry about comfort.

Students rushed out of the building to watch as you turned toward the falling plane, which was only seconds from hitting the ground.

“A grand entrance and a grand exit,” you muttered before taking off. It was a little shaky, but you quickly grew more comfortable with the controls. Being in the suit was like riding a bike, it became second nature.

You flew as quickly as you could toward the now-crashed plane, praying that Peter was safe. Coney Island was twenty miles away, and you had to take into account that your body was not used to the extreme G-forces like Tony’s was. You wouldn’t be of any help to Peter if you showed up and immediately started vomiting everywhere.

You were almost to the crash site when an explosion went off, and your heart leapt into your throat. To hell with G-forces, you flew as fast as the suit would let you.

When you finally reached Coney Island, Peter and the Vulture were lying side-by-side, both breathing heavily. Peter had blood and dirt all over his face and you did your best to not panic, landing beside him and retracting the helmet on your suit.

“Hey, hey,” you said, kneeling down beside Peter. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Peter started to sit up, and so did the Vulture. You detatched one of your gloves and it pushed him back onto the ground, holding him there. He raised his hands in defeat.

“I’m okay,” Peter said, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with you.

You helped Peter lean the Vulture up against some debris and watched Peter web him up as you called Happy’s phone again, finally getting ahold of him. You saw Peter smile a little as he patted his pocket, then he pulled out a piece of paper and a marker. Peter wrote a note on the page and webbed it up next to the Vulture’s head.

“Let’s go,” he said, still not really looking at you. You flew him up to the top of the Cyclone and watched as he rubbed his wrist in discomfort.

“May I?” you asked, holding out your hand. He gave you his arm, and you checked it over for any sign of broken bones. “I don’t think you broke it, maybe a fracture, but with your rapid healing you should be fine in about… half an hour,” you concluded.

“Thanks,” Peter said, not taking his eyes from the wrecked plane.

“Do you… want to go to my place? Or do you want me to take you home?” you asked, trying to get him to open up a little.

“I kind of just want to be alone for a while, if that’s okay,” Peter said quietly. “You can go, I just… I want to wait here until someone shows up to take that guy away.”

“Okay,” you said, understanding. “Will you just text me when you get home to let me know you’re safe?”

“Yeah,” he said.

You stood up, unable to read Peter’s expression as you took one last look at his face. You wished you could do more to help him.

As you flew back toward Queens, you took your time. You thought about Peter, worried about him the whole time. You worried about how Tony would react to Peter disobeying him again. Personally, you thought Tony should be grateful, but your uncle could be a bit of a wild card sometimes. There was just no way of knowing how he’d feel about something until he told you. You worried about Peter falling back into his depression, having gotten another taste of the superhero life. You worried about Peter dealing with possible PTSD after falling through the sky on a flaming airplane.

Without consciously making the decision to go there, you found yourself on the roof of Peter’s apartment building. You knew you should probably go home, but you also knew that you wouldn’t be able to relax until you saw Peter again anyway.

As quietly as you could, you flew down to Peter’s bedroom window, sliding it open and slipping inside. You stepped out of the suit, which folded itself up neatly into a little cube. Your skirt fell back to your feet, and you closed the bedroom window.

You sat down on the edge of Peter’s bed and waited. You didn’t dare pick up your phone, because you knew all of your social media would be flooded. Instead, you entertained yourself by flipping through one of Peter’s Star Wars comic books. It wasn’t a perfect distraction, but it helped you pass the time nonetheless.

It was probably about forty-five minutes later that you heard Peter’s window open again, and you set the book down next to you. Peter crawled across his ceiling and dropped down onto the floor. When he turned around, he jumped a little at the sight of you.

“You and Ned have got to stop doing that,” he said, heading for his dresser. His face was still caked in dirt, blood, and sweat, and you thought you could see the residue of a few tears streaking through the mess down his cheeks.

“Sorry,” you said quietly.

“It’s kind of good that you’re here, though. Because I wouldn’t have been able to text you. Lost my phone tonight,” Peter said with a laugh that let you know he didn’t think it was funny at all as he rummaged through his drawers, pulling out clothes. “May is going to kill me.”

“I’ll replace your phone,” you assured him.

“You don’t have-”

“I want to,” you insisted. Peter looked down at the clothes in his hand for a moment before turning to you.

“I really, really want to shower,” he said. “And then we can talk, okay?”

“Okay,” you said. “Is May…?”

“No, she went to her friend Juli’s tonight, and they always go a bit too hard on the wine, so she won’t be home ‘til late,” Peter explained. “I’ll be right back.”

With that, Peter hurried out of the room, so you picked up the comic book again. Just under twenty minutes later you heard Peter’s footsteps heading back toward the bedroom.

“Hey,” he said, stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind himself. He was all clean. Bruised, but clean. His wet hair fell over his forehead and he was wearing a very soft-looking sweatshirt that made you want to hug him. He tossed his bloodied, homemade suit into his hamper. “So… Happy showed up and took care of Liz’s dad,” Peter said, folding his arms over his chest.

“Wait, that was Liz’s dad?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah, that’s how I knew where he was going to be,” Peter explained. “I feel like a huge dick for ruining her Homecoming,” he said. “And yours.”

“What? Peter, you didn’t ruin anything. I almost didn’t even go, so--”

“Why weren’t you going to go?” Peter asked you, surprised. You scrambled for a second to find an answer.

“It’s not important,” you finally said, looking away from him.

“Well, for what it’s worth,” Peter said softly, “I am sorry.” You weren’t quite sure what he was apologizing for, but that wasn’t important either.

“There is one thing you can do to make it up to me,” you told him, pressing a few buttons on your watch.

“What’s that?” Peter asked, and you stood up, heart pounding in your chest as you held your hand out to him. Soft music began playing from your cube of a suit.

“Dance with me?” you asked, and Peter smiled.

He took your outstretched hand in his and put his other on your waist. You leaned into him, standing so close you were practically resting your head on his shoulder. His sweatshirt was just as soft as it looked, and this close you could smell his shampoo from his still-wet hair. You swayed together, barely moving your feet, and as the minutes passed you both relaxed more and more.

“I meant to tell you before,” Peter whispered. “You do look amazing tonight. Like- like an angel.” You could practically hear the blush that matched yours in his voice that, and you smiled into his shoulder, mumbling your thanks. You knew your hair probably looked like a mess after being shoved in that helmet, and you weren’t even wearing shoes, but it was sweet of him to say that anyway.

Maybe tomorrow he’d be officially dating Liz Allan, but for now, he was here with you. Maybe he’d never get to be Spider-Man again, but for now, he was just Peter, and Peter made you happier than Spider-Man ever could.

Maybe one day you would tell Peter how you feel, but for now, this was enough.

[glowstickhaloboy]

klance roommates au

usual disclaimer: its long as hell

keith is the newly hired, up-and-coming sales rep of his office job. hes fresh out of college, determined, and as awkward as he is in real life, he knows how to make a sale because its all scripted. his boss, doris, a wrinkly old lady who brings in cookies for the office at the end of every month, adores this strapping young man with a real work ethic.

his brother, shiro, is an ethics professor at the local university, Bullshit University (BU). while shiro is glad that keith is doing really well in life for this age, he has this annoying habit of constantly asking keith if hes alright, or if he needs anything, or if theres anything he feels like he wants to do to make himself better. keith always says no.

BU has a bs program called Apprenticeship, wherein a student will be mentored/sponsored by a professor, and the ethics department is head of the program, so shiro also hand picks his own apprentice and its a Big Deal and there are so many kids who apply for it not only because professor shirogane is hot as balls, but because this program gives out credits like candy. this semester’s lucky apprentice is none other than lance mcclain.

lance, if you ask him, will say that this all went completely according to plan and he never once doubted that shiro would pick him. on the inside, he is in an eternal state of wtf wtf wtf wtf how did i do this??!?!?!!!

keith knows that this is something shiro does because shiro likes to update keith on his life, so he’ll call and they’ll chat for a while and usually there will be some mention of an apprentice and whats going on with their studies. as the school year comes to an end, keith obligingly asks shiro who his chosen apprentice is for the upcoming year.

the line goes quiet.

“shiro? did i lose you?”

“no, im still here.”

more silence.

keith says, “what is it.”

“i have a small favor to ask of you.”

lance, if you asked him, would say that his interview with shiro went very well. he would say that he had shiro eating out of the palm of his hand. in reality, there was a lot more crying about money and family matters and anxiety for the future, and when shiro offered lance a tissue lance mistakenly grabbed shiro’s tie and blew his nose into it. two weeks later, he was asked to submit a final letter of intent, which he almost didn’t do because he was too embarrassed, then stayed up all night before the deadline because he couldnt not take a shot at it.

the problem with an apprenticeship position was that it was not like a residency staff position, wherein lance could live on campus without being charged a room & board fee, and he could not be both a part of residency staff and an apprentice. (the residency staff made his decision easy by rejecting his application, but still, it was a bummer.) that being said, lance had absolutely no money to stay on campus next year, and he could not commute because he lived four hours away from the school.

keiths apartment, shiro had not failed to notice, was a convenient 32 and a half minutes from the campus.

“you want me to what?” keith asks shiro, paling, staring into his categorized fridge. he knows where everything is. he decides where everything is. he is not sharing his living space with some kid.

“hes not some kid,” says shiro. “hes 20 years old and he needs this. i really want to make this opportunity work for him, but the school wont let him stay with me. please, keith. i think this would be good for both of you.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“can you honestly tell me that you arent lonely all by yourself?”

“no, im not. im comfortable and in control of my own life. i dont want one of your projects from the projects ruining everything ive worked to get, and i think its bull-headed of you to assume that you know whats best for me, like you always try to do, and i think its rude of you to invite someone to live in my apartment.” 

“he likes mus-”

keith hangs up on shiro mid-word, fumes for a few hours as he gets some work done and eats dinner, then goes to sleep.

the next day, keith feels guilty, sure, but he stands by what he said. shiro would call him in a few days and initiate the apology, and they would both put it behind them without mentioning it again. until then, he would throw himself into his work and pretend that everything was fine.

at 6pm, doris knocks on the side of his cubicle, smiling down on him in all her wrinkly glory. shes 60 going on 80 with graying hair and a cozy southern drawl. “darling, why are you still sitting at that desk? its a friday night. youre young, youre cute, you must have a sweetheart you wanna spend it with, or some friends at least.”

keith smiles politely. “thats alright, doris. id rather work, honestly.”

“you sure, honey? i admire a good worker, but if youre working good for the wrong reasons, thats nothing to be proud of. dont you have a nice girl to go home to?”

keith isnt even going to touch the last part of that statement because he doesnt know doris’s political views and doesnt have the time nor patience for a lecture from her in case her warm hospitality is all a condition of keiths being a Model Young Man. he grimaces and says, “no, i dont. and if i did have someone to go home to, it wouldnt be the start of a night going out on the town, it would be someone to have a relaxing night in with.”

“that sounds nice,” says doris, with a minor suggestion behind it that keith should get his coat and get the hell out of here.

“but id really prefer to work,” insists keith. doris clicks her tongue and tells him to suit himself.

meanwhile, lance is panicking. here he has this amazing opportunity, and no way to make it happen. hunk, allura, and pidge all live on campus, apartments nearby are way too expensive, and nobody on the forums is responding to his roommate pleas. he has made it clear that he will take literally anything, and still, no bites.

“im sorry,” shiro says at the start of their meeting. “i tried to set something up, but it fell through. there are a couple of scholarships you can try applying for, but their awards arent given out until december, so youd have to find a way to make ends meet until then.”

“and i cant be a part time student working,” says lance, “because part time students arent eligible for the internship.”

shiro sighs grimly. “thats right.” for a moment, he does nothing but frown at the wall, and lance has nothing to say so he doesnt interrupt. slowly, without explanation, shiro picks up his desk phone and dials. after a moment of patience, he sets it back down and pinches the bridge of his nose. “i want to figure something out for you, lance. do you have any ideas?”

lance shakes his head, shrugging. “i asked a couple of my friends to get an apartment with me, but two of them are residency staff, and the other one takes too many classes a semester to be able to work enough to afford an apartment.

shiro is about to say something, but the phone rings. he snatches it up. “keith? i thought you were ignoring me. oh. no, thats not it. actually, um, i have him sitting in my office with me. i was hoping you had reconsidered.” there was a very long pause. “i understand that,” says shiro. lance’s organs are all mixed up. his heart is beating in his throat and his stomach is somewhere near his feet. “i understand that,” he says again. “im sorry for what i said. you know i didnt mean it that way. i worry about you, thats all, because im a worrier. im not trying to influence your life at all, i really am just asking for a favor. ive exhausted all my other options. keith, youre all ive got.”

he covers the speaker with his mouth and looks at lance. “are you comfortable talking to him?”

lance balks. “who is it?”

“my brother, keith, the person im trying to get to let you stay with him. he wants to talk to you.”

lance holds his hand out for the phone, and shiro passes it over. lance says, “hello?”

“give me one reason why i should let you stay with me,” says a voice that is not exactly what lance is expecting, but still intimidating. “its not a trick question or a test, but it is pass-fail.”

lance’s mouth is so dry, he isnt sure he’ll be able to speak. “i,” he starts, then decides that he cant, then realizes that he has to. “i dont know what im doing. everyones trying to tell me what i should do, or what i have to do, but your brother--um, professor shirogane--is the only person whos asking me what i want to do. that means a lot to me, and so does the fact that he chose me to be his apprentice. so i want to give this my honest to god best shot to repay him, and because i need to know for myself what im capable of. so, um, sir, if you can give me my foot in the door, i promise i would be grateful for that, and if it doesnt work out, then you can kick me out, and i’ll still be grateful that you gave me the chance. um, thanks for giving me the chance to talk.”

there was a long beat of silence. shiro’s mouth was covered with his hand, so lance couldnt tell if he was smiling, but his eyes were definitely shining.

keith said, “shiro always does make people want to be the best version of themselves. dont tell him i said that. put him back on the line.”

lance shakily handed the phone back. shiro put it to his ear. “keith? uh huh.” he chuckled. “i know.” he closed his eyes, the tension seeping out of his shoulders, and lance couldnt help but feel his hopes soar. “thank you, keith. i promise i’ll pay you back for this, and you wont regret it.” he hangs up. “lance, you have a place to live next year.”

come the end of august, keiths career is running itself. he clears out the storage room in preparation for a temporary guest with the help of shiro, whose job it is not only to set up the room, but to pay lance’s half of the rent if lance should default.

two days after the bed and desk are built, lance mcclain moves in. hes weighed down by bags when keith answers the door, looking boyish and disheveled. “whoa,” he says, and stumbles back, almost loses his balance, then manages to catch himself.

keith prickles. “what?”

lance’s eyes swoop up and down keith a clean once.

“youre shiro’s younger brother,” he says, blinking in surprise. “i didnt expect you to be so... you sounded older and mea-- um, on the phone. i thought i was going to be living with a forty year old dude or something, but you’re. um. hi, im lance mcclain.”

he sticks out his hand, strapped down by bags. keith shakes it.

“keith kogane. your room is down the hall and to the left. the bathroom is the first one on the right. my bedroom is the door at the end of the hall, the one thats always shut.”

lance nods. “right,” he says, sounding choked. “i’ll just put this stuff away then...”

he gets inside his room and calls hunk, freaking out about how the guy he has to live with is a lunatic and might also be a serial killer. how else did one explain his bathroom being so freakishly clean? hunk tells lance to calm down and that its just first-day jitters. everything will feel normal once lance gets the routine down.

but lance does not get the routine down. if keith isnt telling lance not to move the milk in the fridge (lance needed somewhere for his blueberries), then he was shouting through the bathroom door to shut up (lance sang in the shower! big deal!). lance was positive that keith hated him, which, between getting his ass kicked at school and feeling like a burden at the apartment, made for a hellish first month on lance’s part. he and keith never talked to each other, because keith was always leaving for work in the mornings before lance woke up, and lance would get back sometimes at 9pm or later, when keith was already showering and getting ready for bed. on weekends, lance booked it out of there to hang out with hunk and pidge, but keith was usually still awake when lance got back, either reading or watching something on TV.

the best way to describe the tension was frigid. keith didnt acknowledge lance so long as lance kept to himself. and the biggest mistake lance made was to break that tension while keith was home.

of course, lance didnt know at the time. he was pretty sure that keith was out, but too scared to check because the door at the end of the hall was daunting, and lance was pretty sure that keith was the only one who could pass through it without damaging his soul permanently.

lance had assignments, okay? he was a music major. that involved some instruments being played from time to time. usually, he was able to work around keith’s schedule, or quiet enough that he could do it when keith was sleeping, but when he wasnt worried about it, he wasnt worried about it. which led to a high pitched scream from a certain college student as keith banged on his bedroom door.

collecting himself, lance went to open it. “sorry, i-”

“what the hell are you doing?”

lance sighed. “look, keith, im grateful that youre letting me live here, but that means letting me live here. i have assignments, and music relaxes me. so if i can put up with your alphabetical cereal boxes, i think its fair that you let me get some work done.”

“im trying to get my work done.”

“youre not even at work!”

keith pinched the bridge of his nose, a very shiro thing to do. “i dont have a problem with the music,” he said at last. “but we better not get any noise complaints from the neighbors.”

lance saluted him and shut the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

after that, tension melted a little more every day. lance’s outburst seemed to have triggered a chain reaction wherein keith and lance actually learned how to live with each other. after respectfully asking lance to remember to take his beauty products out of the bathroom when finished with them, he realized that what lance really needed was his own shelf, so he adjusted. when lance left on saturday mornings and saw keith taking his usual post at the coffee table with his stack of files, lance would ask if keith wanted anything from mcdonalds before coming home. slowly, surely, they became roommates.

until one day lance came home and saw keith watching his favorite show. it was a tidal wave of loud that keith had never had to experience before. youre only on the first season okay scoot over can i put my feet up im going to who do you like best so far what do you think of the villain isnt the actor who plays jack so hot-

they both freeze a little, lances face going red. “um,” he said. “its not like im going to be bringing any guys home, so we dont have to-”

“im gay,” keith says bluntly, because it looks like lance is about to have a heart attack. he feels a little like doris in that moment, although he doesnt know why. “yeah, hes hot.”

lance melts into the couch. “that makes that easy then,” he says. “that makes this the gay-partment. actually, we cant call it that, because im bi for real, and gay-partment doesnt sound good anyway, but you get what im-”

“i get it,” says keith, a mercy killing. he presses play with finality.

shiro checks up on keith frequently enough, but he never asks about lance any more than “is everything okay between you guys?” keith suspects that shiro does not want to push, and is waiting for keith to be the person who actually brings it up.

keith doesnt. even when he waits for lance to get home from classes so they can watch an episode together before keith goes to bed (because the last time keith watched it without him lance threw a fit), or when lance’s awful car craps out on him so they have to share for a week while the mechanic handles it, which involves a lot of carpooling and, as lance calls them “jam sessions” where he blares his horrible music and sings along (but isnt actually so bad because sometimes he improvises lines to the songs and he can be funny when he wants to be). 

keith realizes over the six days that lance is gone for thanksgiving break, not even a full week, that the apartment feels too quiet without him, and at the ripe old age of 23, he might have found his first genuine friend.

after thanksgiving, the barrier melts more. keith is cool with lance having friends over as long as he gets a heads up, and lance invites keith to his occasional open mic night performances at BU.

one day, lance comes home and sees keith hunched over some files on the kitchen table, tie loose on his neck, a half-finished bowl of leftover pasta abandoned near him. lance realizes that he has no idea what keiths job is.

“sales,” keith informs him. “i convince people that they need to buy eco-friendly plastic cups in bulk for their business or school.”

“sounds boring.”

“its not.”

“do you supply cups to my school?”

“theyre not one of my clients, no.”

“if you cant sell cups to your own brother’s school, how good of a salesman can you be?”

keith rolls his eyes and--hey, finally--looks up. “im the best in the department,” he says. “because i take my job seriously, lance. as seriously as you take your apprenticeship to shiro, which is the only reason i agreed to let you stay here.”

“wow,” says lance. “thats harsh. all work and no play makes keith revert back to his old angry self, i see.” he leaves. keith sighs, decides he can no longer focus, and packs up his files. he cleans up his wasted dinner and knocks on lance’s door. lance doesnt answer, so keith persists. when hes ignored again, he grits his teeth and says, “oh, real mature.”

he turns to go back to the living room and sees the bathroom door open. lance steps out, shirtless. “who are you talking to?” he asks, shirtless. he scratches the back of his head, shirtless.

“are you hungry?” asks keith. “i was thinking we could order a pizza and watch an episode or two.”

lance considers keith for a moment, shirtless, then rolls his eyes, still shirtless. “if thats the best you can do for apologies, mullet, then you have a lot to learn. i was going to take a shower.” he reaches around keith, shirtless, and pulls a towel off the inside of his bedroom wall. “call and order, i’ll be fast.” before he shuts the bathroom door again, he says, “i don’t are what else is on it as long as there are green peppers.” and then he’s gone, shirtless.

keith wakes up and wonders why he blacked out for a second.

the pizza arrives, and lance gets out of the shower, clothed, and one or two episodes become six or seven, with keith continuously having to pause because lance is talking and getting carried away because hes getting so excited. its thursday and keith has work tomorrow, he knows, and yet hes denying it. his stomach is full of warm pizza and lance has just stopped talking about the way it rained when they filmed this scene, but keith hasnt reached over to his play yet.

“you would be a good salesman,” he tells lance. “youve got the charisma for it.”

“keith, that is literally the meanest thing youve ever said to me. no offense, but to suggest i would spend my life sitting in a cubicle is unforgivable. to each their own, though. when all the little kids in your third grade class were saying, i want to be a firefighter! and, i want to be a princess! what made you snap up your suspenders and say, i want to sell eco-friendly plastic cups!”

“i dont wear suspenders.”

“thats not the question i was asking.”

keith shrugs. hes laying down more than hes sitting up, which as a rule, is frowned upon when using couches in this apartment. lance has been a bad influence in this regard. “its practical.”

“did you have to take business classes and everything?”

“i took them, yeah.”

lance throws his head back and groans, pokes keith’s thigh teasingly with his big toe. “man, i cant imagine going to school to actually learn a useful life skill. whats job security like?”

staring up at the ceiling, keith is unsettled to find that he knows the answer. “boring.”

lance sits up. “huh?”

“its too easy,” says keith. “every day, its just selling cups. a moron could do it. and my boss doris is a peach, but this morning she stood at karen’s cubicle across from mine for a straight hour talking about plants.”

“plants are so practical,” says lance. “you have a house plant in the corner.” he points at herman.

“his name is herman.”

lance’s eyes blow wide. “dude! no way! you named your plant! i didnt think you were the type!”

“ive never said his name out loud with another person in the room before.”

lance covers his face with both hands and wheezes. “you talk to herman when no one else is in the room.”

lance does not say that he had been calling herman shelby.

“theres a smaller one on my desk at the office named sherman,” says keith.

“not judging, dude, but why would you give so much of yourself to this job if it isnt what you want to do?”

keith shrugs again. “its practical.”

“im a music major and i dont buy that shit. why dont you do what you love? like, how does the time that you spend not doing whatever it is you love not a giant waste?”

“because...” keith feels like a robot. “its practical.”

“if practicality didnt matter, what would you do?”

keith considers lance, considers himself. he finds the answer but decides that its too scary right now. 

“i’d sell cups on the moon.”

lance busts a gut. the seriousness of the topic derailed, keith presses play, and they go back to watching the episode. lance doesnt interrupt for the remainder of the episode, and when keith looks over, he realizes its because lance has fallen asleep. with his legs spread over keith’s lap. when had they gotten there? keith couldnt move now. he had work in the morning.

he was also already in his pajamas. and the sofa was warm enough, and the heating was on in preparation for winter. and keith was already up later than he normally stayed awake...

he woke up with sunlight streaming peacefully on his eyelids. that was usually a luxury saved for the weekends. SUNLIGHT? keith’s eyes popped open, and he remembered all at once talking with lance, falling asleep, lance. last night had been a lance-heavy night. his toes were underneath keith’s shirt, his face smushed into the cushions.

keith clawed his phone out of his pocket as he extracted himself from the couch, from lance. 9:08. shit shit shit shit. 2 missed calls from doris. he ran into his room, where his alarm clock had been screaming for two and a half hours now, and threw on a dress shirt, pants, and shoes, then he rocketed out the door, his phone already pressed to his ear. hi doris sorry sorry sorry i overslept im leaving now i’ll be right here this wont happen again.

his coworkers dont let him live it down. all day its, how ya doing, keith? hows that perfect punctuality youre always harping about? crazy hook up with your take-home pile, was it? doris is the only one who is understanding, and, luckily, her opinion of the situation is all that matters.

“whatever kept you,” she says, “i hope you had fun.”

keith is exhausted by the time he gets home. he unknots his tie on the way to his room, and as he passes lance’s door, he hears the soft tones of music from inside. he pauses. knocks. lance calls, “come in.”

keith pokes his head inside. theres lance, several instruments sprawled across his floor, and him in the center of them, a ukulele in his hands. keith smiles. “sounds good,” he says.

lance gives him a sympathetic eyebrow raise. “you look like shit.”

“thanks.”

“come sit down.”

grateful for the invitation, keith obeys, unraveling his tie all the way. he likes that lance doesnt make him say anything. he goes back to playing music, singing, a soft song that has keiths eyelids fluttering shut and his shoulders relaxing before they can help it.

the next week, lance’s semester ends. he heads home to swap the old year for a new model, see his family, catch up with neighborhood friends. theres the weirdest disconnect he gets where he turns to make a comment to someone, expecting them to be someone else, and gets frustrated.

keith, meanwhile, has resorted to calling shiro at night to somehow break this god awful silence. they get together on christmas, which helps. hes ready to spend new years alone with the LGBT section of Netflix when, at 10:14 PM, his phone rings in a way it doesnt usually. He presses accept, and suddenly Lance is grinning at him in a room full of shouting Cubans.

“Keith! My man! How’s it hanging! No, shut up Marcia, I’m busy. Hey, what’s up!”

Keith is a little bewildered. “Um. Hey.”

“hold on, its super loud in here. let me get to my room so i can actually hear you.”

“why did you call?” asks keith.

lance gives him a look as he enters a much more quiet space. “because my spidey senses told me that you were sitting alone on your couch like a loser right now.”

keith frowns down at his comfortable pajamas. “i am not a loser.”

“of course not,” lance agrees. “thats thanks to me, by the way, and my amazing ability to be in two places at once, thanks to facetime.”

“hows home?” keith asks, aware that suddenly they were chatting, and that the frown he’d been carrying around for days had magically lifted itself off his face. lance is as excitable as ever, even when hes miles and miles away, and keith wonders at the idea of all this distance theyve lived with between them suddenly closed. its an interesting thought.

he doesnt realize how long lance has kept him talking until 11:59, when lance brings his attention to the countdown clock. the inside of keith’s chest feels warm and calm knowing that lance didnt want keith to be alone on new years, and that he cared enough to sit in his room for two hours talking at a screen, and that he was choosing to spend the passover to midnight with keith.

at midnight, keith clinks a glass of champagne against his phone, as does lance, and they drink together. then, lance sombers.

“hey, um. i wanted to thank you for everything you did for me last semester,” says lance. “im still trying to put things together for the spring, but if you want, i could let you know how it goes. i mean, i dont want to stop talking to you, or knowing you.”

keith is utterly lost. “what are you talking about?”

now lance looks confused. “the end of the semester,” he says.

“what about it?”

“my apprenticeship.”

Apprenticeships only lasted a semester!

keith actually slapped his forehead. “lance!” he said, sitting up and clutching his burning phone tighter. He’d had to plug it in an hour ago. “why didn’t you remind me? are you trying to tell me you left? that you literally left to go back home without saying goodbye?”

“you didnt say goodbye!” lance defends, voice getting shrill. “i thought you werent the type!”

“i thought you werent leaving! or, i mean, i thought you were coming back right after!”

“I literally packed out my whole room, keith.”

“people need things when they go home.”

lance shook his head, dumbfounded. “i cant believe we’re having this conversation. what are you going to do without me? yes, keith, im back home and scouring the forums for a new roommate next semester. im trying to have a bonding moment where i thank you for everything youve done for me, but youre ruining it by being an idiot.”

“damn it, lance. you dont have to move out. youre more than welcome to keep living here. lance? did you freeze?”

“what? no. i just. i kind of thought you hated me.”

hate? the literal opposite. keith had to fight not to be sarcastic. “i dont hate you. i want you to stay here. not as a favor, but because this place feels weird without you here now. its as much yours as it is mine. we can put you on the lease if you want.”

“keith, that is the grossest, most adult thing youve ever said to me. of course i will legally sign a binding contract with my name next to yours.”

did lance just... keith’s smaller face went red next to lance’s bigger face. keith sat up a little straighter. “um, cool. cool. when you get back, then. so, you are coming back?”

“yes,” said lance. “and thank god it means i dont have to live with smelly jeremy and his flea-ridden dogs. just your flea-ridden mullet.”

keith narrowed his eyes and hung up.

he got a text from lance saying, see yr flea-tastic self on january 25th, then marked the day down in his phone. afterward, he opened the door to lance’s room, which was indeed empty. keith’s heart went a little spastic at the thought that january 25th could have come and gone, and he would have had no idea that lance had not been planning to return. he called shiro and berated him for not talking about the apprenticeship more often, so keith would have been prepared.

lance comes back and brings the sun with him. keith, who has been this close to quitting his job every time he walks into work, could not be happier. they move lance’s things in together, which involves a lot of stopping and making fun of lance’s possessions on keith’s part. lance grins and goes for the mullet, and somehow they end up wrestling on the floor.

keith thinks, i cant not kiss him.

and then his phone vibrates against his leg. he remembers that lance is living here because he has nowhere else to go, and that putting him in this position if he doesnt feel the same way about keith is a horrible thing to do. he untangles himself, guilty.

“where are you going?” demands lance. “i was winning!”

“its doris,” says keith. “gotta take it.”

speaking of doris, she notices. at 6pm the next day, she stops by keiths cubicle. “been a while since we last met here, sugarcake. trouble at home?”

theres no one else in the office, and keith is close to a meltdown. he swivels to face doris, hangs his head, and says, “i think im in love with my roommate lance.”

her face doesnt betray an ounce of shock, but rather, shes giving him the same look shiro used to when keith would talk about nightmares. keiths heart shatters from being touched by kindness. he doesnt leave the office for another hour, not because he was working, but because that night doris lets him tell her everything.

lance is still in class when keith gets home, eats, showers, and gets ready for bed. he almost doesnt know what to do with himself now that theres a whole other conscious entity living in this house--his fucking emotions. he has his hair pulled back, his pajamas on, and hes just getting ready to call it a night when the front door opens and lance tosses his bag in its usual spot under the window.

“hey,” he says, surprised to see keith up. “dont want to miss the early bird special tomorrow. what’re you doing up?”

“can we play?” asks keith.

lance is clearly doubly surprised, but he guides keith into his room. its as blissfully messy as it was before lance left for break. “you said we. do you play?”

keith picks up a lap-sized keyboard. “i used to.”

“i didnt know that. why didnt you say?”

“because you wouldve asked me to play with you.”

“thats true.” lance picks his ukulele, and they start to improvise together, each learning how the other plays, adjusting. “you werent kidding, you really play.”

“i wasnt kidding,” says keith.

suddenly, lance stops. “hey, is everything alright? youre acting weird. dont tell me youre regretting asking me to move back in.”

“no,” keith says immediately. “no, im just wondering if maybe... are you happy here? or is this just a roommate situation?”

“what do you mean, is this just a roommate situation?”

“you know what i mean.”

“no,” says lance. “i dont.”

“i mean,” says keith, “do you actually like living here, or do you live here because im your only option?”

lance sets down his ukulele. “i like living here because the bathroom tiles are cold when i get out of the shower so i hop to the rug by the door and pray to god i dont slip and break my neck. and because the sunset turns the kitchen wall purple while i make pasta. and because im the only one who can put my feet up on the coffee table. and because the cereal is arranged in alphabetical order and the plant’s name is herman. i like living here. here feels like home.”

keith kisses him. he stands up and backs away just as quickly, guilty, unable to believe he had just crossed the line like that. god, he’s going to have to tell doris about this. she would rip his head off so politely.

“what the fuck?” says lance, blunt and surprised. keith winces, about to apologize, when suddenly he’s being crowded up against the wall of his storage room, of lance’s bedroom, and kissed like his lips leaked chocolate. he melts. lance snakes one hand behind keith’s neck and the other around his waist, and keith tugs lance closer by the hips. the hand at keith’s neck digs into his hair and pulls out the hair tie. the hair tie disappears. keith pulls lance closer. 

lance pulls back. “finally.”

“you had the option to make the first move, you know.”

“nah, not me, i’m a coward.”

“yeah, right.”

they kissed again, with keith holding tighter and lance staying longer. keith thinks, doris isnt going to believe this one.

that night, the taboo on keith’s bedroom door breaks when keith invites lance to sleep on a queen sized mattress. it takes lance a full five minutes to stop laughing at the clear cowboy paraphernalia keith inherited growing up in texas, but he doesnt mind curling up to sleep by the potted cactus on the nightstand, whose name he politely asks for.

keith stops killing himself working to sell eco-friendly plastic cups, and with all his spare time, he and lance start writing songs together. shiro, in a display of good sportsmanship, never points out that he was right.