#not to deal with existential despair

[carveus]

You ever have a moment where your character is having the Big Feels, so you do some writing to help work through that, but it doesn't work, and now you're being crushed under the weight of feelings that aren't even yours?

And you can't even do anything about it until Saturday?!?!?

[dismalzelenka]

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[simplegenius042]

Music Monday

Tagged by no one.

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @direwombat @strangefable @inafieldofdaisies @jillvalentinesday @vampireninjabunnies-blog @strafethesesinners @chazz-anova @cassietrn @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @derelictheretic @a-rose-in-a-garden-of-weeds @snake-in-the-garden @voidika @poisonedtruth and @ec-10 + anyone else interested.

Here's a song for Joaquin Cobalt, a character I cannot wait to literally grow up in a universe so chaotic. He's not someone who is willing to stick with the status quo. Song below:

"I spent my whole life trying to fit into a lane But I'm so over it I watched my friends fall out of love and go insane Bet on life and lose the game I saw 'em quit

I never want to be like that A suit and tie copycat I never was into that

Hey-oh, na-na-na I said, hey-oh, I'm all good I'ma do my own thing (I'ma, I'ma) I'ma do me I'ma do my own thing

Hey-oh, na-na-na I said, hey-oh, I'm all good I'ma do my own thing (I'ma, I'ma) I'ma do, I'ma do, I'ma do me I'ma do my own thing

I spent so long with my head buried in the sand My future needs a rewrite So I'll send a postcard from wherever I may land I ain't got no master plan And that's alright."

Here's another love song for Silva and Faith. One is the epitome of "oh shit, again?" while the other is the epitome of "no fucking way, now?!" Song below:

"Maybe, it's the way you say my name Maybe, it's the way you play your game But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

Wishing on dandelions all of the time Praying to God that one day you'll be mine Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

I think that you are the one for me 'Cause it gets so hard to breathe When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine."

Those are some upbeat, lovely songs. Now have some sadness for Viserys I adopted son, Corvus Targaryen, for a House of the Dragon fic I'm planning out. Can't spell Life, Despair & Monsters without literal despair in the name. Song below:

"You're alone, you're on your own, so what? Have you gone blind? Have you forgotten what you have and what is yours?

Glass half empty, glass half full Well, either way, you won't be going thirsty Count your blessings, not your flaws

You've got it all You lost your mind in the sound There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king again.

You don't get what all this is about You're too wrapped up in your self-doubt You've got that young blood, set it free

You've got it all You lost your mind in the sound There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king

There's method in my madness There's no logic in your sadness You don't gain a single thing from misery Take it from me

You've got it all You lost your mind in the sound There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king

You've got it all You lost your mind in the sound There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king again."

[gregor-samsung]

La limita de jos a cerului [The Unsaved] (Igor Cobileanski, 2013)

[ahqkas]

theo with a gf who is just naturally quiet and zones out 24/7.She doesnt even do it purposefully it just happens,and doesnt relaise when people try to get her attention or are speaking to her.She barely talks,mostly to theo,whos her voice but sometimes she zones out when hes talking and he has to bring her back

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

THEO HAD ALWAYS FOUND A CERTAIN CHARM IN YOUR QUIET NATURE, a calm amidst the storm of chaos in the world around him. your natural tendency to zone out, to drift away into your own thoughts, was something he had grown accustomed to. he had learned to recognize the distant look in your eyes, the subtle way your focus would slip away from the present moment. and he was completely okay with it.

one rainy afternoon, you both sat by the black lake, the sun hidden behind a bunch of dark clouds as the two of you were nestled under a large umbrella, watching the droplets melt in the lake water. theo was talking about a book he had been currently reading, his voice full with enthusiasm.

“it’s one of shakespeare’s most famous tragedies. it’s about a prince who’s dealing with a lot of grief and anger after his father’s death,” theo paused, glancing over at you to make sure you were following. “his mother, gertrude, marries his uncle claudius really soon after the king’s death. and hamlet, well, he’s not too happy about it.”

you nodded, captivated by the way theo's voice seemed to bring the centuries-old text to life. "he's kind of stuck in this existential crisis," your boyfriend continued, "wondering about life and death, what it all means, you know? there's this famous line, 'to be or not to be, that is the question.' hamlet is contemplating suicide with that, weighing the pain of life against the fear of the unknown after death. i think it has some of truth in it.” the intensity in theo's eyes made it clear how deeply he connected with the story. "it's not just about revenge," he said, leaning in slightly. "it's about his struggle with his own mind. he feigns madness to uncover the truth about his father's death, and in doing so, he spirals into a real state of confusion and despair."

he paused, a small smile playing on his lips. "i've been reading it over and over, trying to understand all the layers. every time i think i've got a handle on it, something new jumps out at me. it's like a puzzle, and i love trying to piece it all together."

the slytherin glanced over at you, only to find that familiar, far-off look in your eyes. you were staring out at the lake, completely lost in your thoughts, the world around you fading into the background, thanks to the sound of rain and theo’s calming voice.

“hey, love,” theo smiled softly at you while to took your hand into his, giving it a little squeeze. “you still there with me?”

you blinked, your focus slowly returning back to the present. your eyes met his, and you offered a small, apologetic smile. "sorry, theo," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "i zoned out again."

he chuckled, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. "it's alright," he reassured you. "i know you can't help it."

you nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude for his understanding. it was something you deeply appreciated about him — his patience and the way he always knew how to bring you back without making you feel bad about it.

and as the two of you continued in your conversation, theo would occasionally pause to check if you were still with him. not out of annoyance, but out of caring. he had become adept at recognizing the signs, the subtle shifts in your expression that signaled you were drifting away. and each time, he would gently call your name, his voice a tether that guided you back to the present. back to him.

[nightcolorz]

always thinking about the development of abed and Brittas dynamic. Pov ur Britta and ur starting community collage and u meet a visibly autistic guy in ur Spanish one class and when ur introduced to him u can’t help but think of ur older brother who works with autistic kids and u wonder if ur capable of making positive change in someone’s life the way he does or if ur always going to fuck everything up like everyone says u do, and u befriend this autistic guy in ur Spanish class who realize as u soon become close friends rlly needs a type of daily support that he isn’t and has never been accommodated with and ur like wow, sad, what if I can be the support he needs, and obviously you can’t, bcus ur one person and also u know nothing about autism and also this random man from ur Spanish one class has an acute mission to push u into emotional despair bcus ur earnest desire to help him bcus of ur personal internal conflict combined with ur huge amount of ignorance reminds him of his mother and he wants to consciously emulate his relationship with her with u so that he can use footage of u to make a shitty art film about his childhood trauma and that’s when u realize that u aren’t ur brother and also are stupid asf to think that u can be like ur brother for ur adult friend who is low key having some form of psychotic episode but even still you’ve grown to love this autistic Man U met at ur Spanish one class and it breaks ur heart everyday that u will never be enough to meet his neglected emotional needs so u decide to become a psychology major so that maybe one day u will be adequate enough to do this right, bcus rlly u have a lot of unaddressed existential terror that the world is a cruel unjust place that u are too insignificant to do anything about and it fills the hole in ur heart a little to feel like u are making an impact in at least one vulnerable persons life, but ultimately ur an ignorant and self centered collage student and ur autistic friend from Spanish one loves to remind u that u are not enough and ur attempts to help him will only ever backfire or register to him as infantilizing condescension and as u try to therapize ur adult friend u become the one getting therapied as he turns every attempt of urs on its head so that now u are the one being confronted by ur own psychological problems which eventually come to a head when he comforts u about ur own failure while he’s having a hallucinatory psychotic episode prompted by his mom giving up on him where he tells u in song form that you are “broken” bcus u desperately want to help people but u lack the tools to make any positive change and u cry a whole lot about this bcus from now forward u are forced to reckon with the reality that u are not qualified to fix ur disabled friend bcus ur a psychology student in collage and he has autism and psychosis and childhood trauma and all u can rlly do about that is be a good friend and an adult about it and also accept that ur disabled friend is just as much of a person and an adult as you are and u cant violate his autonomy by using him as a tool for ur own self betterment and now u don’t use ur baby voice on him quite as much bcus you’ve learned that ur friend is going to psychologically torture the shit out of u if u try to be his mom so instead u set ur sights on being his collage friend who he can talk shit with and such and everyone’s just going to try their best

Then pov ur abed and ur like lol. Britta is Talking to me Like im five. What if I stop talking to her to emulate my childhood speech delay so that she’s forced to deal with the burden my mom did and she leaves me like everyone else does so I can make a movie about it. Oops she’s still here. Well, her romantic subplots would make rlly good sitcom storylines in the tv show that is my life. 🍜🍜🍜🍜🍜coolcoll

[comicaurora]

In the latest trope talk you used Odo as part of your examples. I think You've talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation before but not Deep Space Nine and I just had some questions about what you thought about the show.

What did you most/least enjoy about the series?

What did you think of DS9's syndicated episodes compared to contemporary trek's (TNG, VOY) episodic nature?

How do you feel about the Dominion storyline as a whole? Did you feel like it went against Star Trek's utopian future?

Which characters stood out to you the most/had the most engaging development?

What do you think gagh tastes like?

Any other thoughts about the series?

Oh man, DS9.

I have this very consistent pattern of thinking that the star trek I have most recently watched is the best star trek. When I watched TNG it was the best because of its standout episodes that let Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner show off. Then when I watched Voyager it was the best because Janeway was incredible and 7 of 9's arc was a beautiful iteration on the "inhuman character explores humanity" star trek trope. Then when I got to DS9 I was like "Oh, so this is what actually good Star Trek looks like." I do think I'm actually right this time, though.

I think they really took advantage of how different the core premise of the show was from previous Star Treks. Because the setting was very consistent, the episodic variations on the formula weren't dedicated to seeking out Weird New Shit, but to focusing on the characters and their dynamics with one another. Correspondingly I think the best thing in the show is the character writing and how everyone's arcs are built up. This was something I think they were building towards with the previous series; TNG would occasionally have character-focused episodes, but for the most part everybody on the ship operated like a well-oiled machine, inputting the Weird Thing Of The Week and outputting a solution. Voyager destabilized the formula by yeeting the heroes halfway across the galaxy and well outside the safe confines of federation space, so you got a lot more opportunities for drama caused by limited supplies or existential despair, and a lot more character-driven conundrums without clean or flawless solutions. DS9 is kind of the apotheosis of this shift away from "seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go etc etc" because instead of our heroes briefly interacting with Bajor and then fucking off into the end credits, they're sitting right on top of a planet undergoing tumultuous social restructuring after the end of a long and horrible military occupation, and they're there for 7 seasons. Because they aren't following an adventure-of-the-week formula, absolutely everything they do has consequences they have to deal with later down the line, and that lends itself very well to longform character arcs.

I liked the Dominion storyline well enough, and I think the existence of an evil space empire to fight doesn't preclude the Federation being a utopia. Utopias are internally perfect systems, not worlds that have absolutely no conflict. I think the part of DS9 that does undercut the utopia is the whole thing with Section 31, but I think that's part of a very intentional move on the writers' part to highlight that Section 31 is not as necessary as they think they are, and that doing all this stuff unethically is a moral concession and a shortcut that demeans the principles of the Federation. That's part of why I like that they serve as a nemesis to Doctor Bashir, who has very personal reasons to despise the idea of taking the easy way out.

Character-wise, I have very predictable favs. Jadzia Dax is fascinating to me, and I love the way they play with her past lives and centuries of experience to create this very layered character packed with plothooks. Also I have very simple tastes, and "woman fills narrative Man Role trope and nobody is weird about it" is an itch I so rarely get scratched despite how not complicated it is. Jadzia gets to be a swashbuckling romantic hero with a tragic starcrossed lover; she gets to be a wise yet cheerful mentor to Captain Sisko; she gets to be a noble warrior honoring debts from a lifetime ago. And I adore how her dynamic with Sisko plays out over the seasons - another completely uncomplicated trope I so rarely get to enjoy, male and female leads who are profoundly ride-or-die for one another and have absolutely no interest in making out. I am still so mad about how Jadzia gets iced, but that doesn't mean I don't like Ezri, and there is something very beautiful about how when she gets Dax'd and her existence becomes an absolute mess of confusion and conflicting memories and she doesn't even know who she is anymore, her single point of stability is Sisko.

That said, Garak is probably my overall fav. The man is an absolute drama hound and since he's not technically main cast it's a rare treat to get him focused on. He is so much fun on a rewatch when you can see exactly when and how he's lying and when he's telling the truth in a way that everyone thinks is lying, and what I think is most interesting about him is how absolutely everybody else on the station has him figured out. There's this "I know he knows I know they know" loop underlying almost every interaction. Everyone knows he's a spy, he knows everyone knows, and they're all just vibing anyway. It's like his entire character is built on telling the truth in a way that sounds like a lie, to the point where it always manages to surprise people when he does something absolutely ruthless. He's been saying he's a bad guy the whole time! People seem to keep forgetting!

Also, fun fact, the very first chunk of DS9 I caught was the back half of the episode "The Wire", and when I was mentioning this to my dad, I was like "yeah I don't remember their names but these two guys seemed extremely married-" and he immediately went "oh, Garak and the doctor?" so that's very telling I think

[cobaltperun]

Woe out the Storm (16) - A War You Cannot Win

Wednesday Addams x female Reader

Summary: It took some time, but eventually you came to realize only Wednesday Addams could look at the raging storm of chaos and destruction and make a home out of it. Only she could listen to the cacophony of the roaring thunder and hear a melody.

Story warnings: Wednesday Addams, violence, slow burn

Story masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next Part

Word count: 3k

-Said no, hell no, I am not yours to rule, I won't be your fool-

It came out of nowhere, like lightning out of blue. Your dad hit the brakes, so hard the car stalled, and grabbed you, blasting the back of the car and jumping out. “Dad?!” he ignored your yell, yellow lightning engulfing him as he shifted into his bear lightning beast form and began running. All your confusion and the question that died on your lips vanished as a loud explosion destroyed your dad’s car.

You dared to look behind, seeing the remains falling onto the road as a figure emerged from the smoke and flames, and you recognized him immediately, just by feeling alone.

The Raijin, the thunder god, returned.

Your heart stopped for a moment, that fear, that despair returning. You trusted your dad, you knew he was strong, but not even he could go up against Raijin. He ran off the road, jumping down the hill and enhancing his speed through lightning. You were a raiju as well, but his lightning was much stronger, and you felt it electrocuting you bit by bit, but you gritted your teeth, you could deal with some numbness as long as you got away from the monster. He wasn’t running after you and for a brief, naïve moment you thought he just meant to scare you.

And then the birds flew up abruptly, each and every one of them fleeing. You saw other small animals you were running past fleeing in any direction, the entire forest being engulfed in existential panic and something primal within you, an instinct born from being a raiju told you there was no escape.

Then it happened. Everything around the two of you just exploded in a burst of blue lightning and you only survived because your dad managed to jump into the air and shift back into his human form, grabbing onto you and hovering in air with lightning.

“What the…?!” you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, an entire area, easily a mile in radius, was just destroyed. The ground cracked, trees burning and uprooted, the smell of smoke and burnt flesh of the animals that failed to flee engulfed your sense, what somehow survived was left to die a painful death, screeching, crying in pain as smoke rose above you and your dad.

You were dead. Both of you. You couldn’t even hope to match this. Your body went limp and you saw several teardrops falling from your face to the scorched ground. Wednesday told you Diego, Goody’s raiju was no match for Raijin, but you didn’t think the difference in power was this large. And you doubted he was even trying.

“Damn monster. If he took his time to charge that up he could easily destroy entire Nevermore grounds, school included,” your breath hitched as your dad said that, and this monster had something to do with Laurel’s plan, or so you and Wednesday guessed. You couldn’t even tell Wednesday to run, to find a way to get out of that mess, your phone was in the car, all you had left was the knife you got from Wednesday, strapped to your back.

“That’s your kid? Elijah?” you heard his voice, booming, powerful voice and dared to glance to the side as your dad lowered the two of you back to the ground. The monster took the hood of his cloak off, and he was exactly the way Wednesday described him. Spiky blue hair, long, flowing behind him, animalistic, angry-looking face, and pale blue eyes that sent chills down your spine. He still looked like he was around forty. And he looked like a giant, tall, easily taller than two meters, muscular, he towered over your dad.

“Raijin,” your dad spoke through gritted teeth, not even trying to attack, he just lowered you down to the ground and stood in front of you, your one last line of defense as you remained on your hands and knees, frozen. “I’ll do whatever you want, just let my daughter live,” he suggested, bargained, desperate, and the thunder god knew that.

He tilted his head to the side with a raised eyebrow. “Your arrogance amuses me. What could a beast ever offer to a god?” he raised his hand and you saw blue lightning gathering around his palm. “On second thought, you could die for her,” he lowered his hand and sat down.

“You promise you’ll let her live?” your dad asked and you stumbled to your feet, only for him to hold you back before you could get in front of him.

“Yes. There is one catch though. I choose how you die,” he vanished in a burst of lightning and appeared behind the two of you, just several feet away.

You didn’t even dare to look behind you. You kept your mouth shut, your brain desperately trying to come up with a way out of this, but nothing, absolutely nothing came to your mind. He was faster, stronger, even if you were as strong as your dad there would be nothing you could do.

“Tell me?” your dad requested, just as still as you.

“Easy. She kills you.”

The entire world shattered as those words registered in your mind.

He took a step closer to you and leaned down and you saw your father flinching, of all the things the monster could have asked for, he asked that of you. You watched as your father relaxed, he wasn’t even going to try to fight, this was it. “You hear that? You just have to kill your dad, and you’ll live. How lucky is that? Getting spared for the second time?”

You survive the second time, but the cost of your survival is your father’s life? Your eyes narrowed and you nodded. “It is lucky,” you said, took a deep breath and your eyes met his. “Let me shift. I want to make it as painless as possible. Dad’s lightning is stronger than mine, it’ll take a while to kill him unless I even things out by shifting,” from the corner of your eye you saw your father turning to look at you with a smile on his face. It was like he was already forgiving you, like the only regret he had about this was the fact that you would have to kill him.

Raijin laughed, genuinely laughed as he stepped away from you. “Of course, I shall grant you that wish. Say, child, how about you come with me. Work for me, do my biddings, be what you were meant to be! My beast!” he offered, clearly serious, seeing as your dad once more went stiff.

“Do I die if I say no?” you asked, just to be sure.

Raijin shrugged. “No, you don’t. You just get to live a long life, instead of dying the next time you see me. Besides, a tiger would fit in well with my beasts,” so, he wasn’t alone. Somehow you expected that.

“I won’t join you,” you rejected him, red sparks circling you as you prepared to shift.

“Y/N, forgive me for getting you in this situation. Don’t let this affect you, think of everyone else. Your mom, your friends, unless you kill me here, they’ll all suffer,” your dad said, his arms spread wide, accepting of your attack. Accepting this as his grave, this ruined, scorched remains of a forest.

You did think of them. Of your mom, of Enid, Thing, of Wednesday. Flashes of something you couldn’t remember came to your mind, her body leaning against yours, her eyes, the smile on her face, calling you ‘Mi Rayo’ and you wished you knew what it meant. You understood that was what happened the night after Crackstone was defeated, while you were depleted of electricity, the two of you nearly kissing. Her lips so close to yours, you could almost feel them brushing against your own. That’s what you forgot, that’s what hurt her, and you would apologize to her.

The red lightning turned orange and your body changed, shifting into your tiger form.

You were aware this time, for the most part, you understood what was going on around you, you knew what you had to do, and you gathered all of your lightning around your right paw. You watched as your father smiled and Raijin smirked right next to you.

And you swept your paw, claws out, lightning bursting from it, and slammed it right into Raijin’s chest.

“What are you doing?!” you heard your dad yelling as you discharged all the lightning you had and roared, putting more strength into your attack and sending him into a fallen tree. “Y/N!” your dad screamed your name as you charged at Raijin at full speed, lightning engulfing your body as you slammed into him and bit down on his arm before tossing him up and blasting him with several lightning strikes.

Yellow lightning burst from behind you and you saw your dad, once again in bear form zapping up and hitting Raijin from above, smacking him into the scorched ground just as you slammed your front paws on the ground in front of you and made the earth Raijin just landed on explode from a burst of lightning.

Your dad let lightning engulf his body entirely, easily looking three times as large as before as he struck Raijin, closing his jaw around the monster’s neck and trying to kill him while constantly electrocuting him and trying to paralyze him. But a single swipe of Raijin’s hand ended the struggle.

Your eyes widened as the golden lightning vanished, consumed by blue lightning, and you saw your dad falling toward Raijin, still in his bear form but clearly unable to zap out of the way. You zapped forward, slamming into him and getting him out of the way of blue lightning. You skidded across the ground, your legs not giving out despite the weight of the huge bear on your back.

“I have to admit,” Raijin sighed, opening his cloak and touching his chest. You could smell blood. “Though it wasn’t caused by lightning, the pure strength behind your attack was mildly impressive,” he was looking at his fingertips, at the drops of blood you managed to draw from his chest.

You roared, lightning bursting from your body. You would fight until your very last breath. Your dad could no longer fight, you just noticed his back legs were completely useless, burnt by the initial blast, and Raijin probably neutralized his strongest attack as if it was nothing. You were nothing as well, by that logic, but you would keep going.

You saw blue sparks and jumped above the ground, dodging a blast from the ground, the same kind of attack you used just now. You kept jumping, just barely dodging the bursts of lightning with your father still on your back. At least he shifted back into his human form. “There’s no use, you’ll tire yourself out,” he gave up, he completely, entirely gave up.

How you wished you could talk in this form, instead, all you could do was roar at him, and that split second of distraction was enough, your dad took the burnt of the damage by jumping of your back and in front of the blast, but you still got hit, and the pain so intense you instantly went back to your human form consumed you. You felt lightning ripping through you, leaving deep wounds on your chest as the two of you fell to the ground. Mortally wounded, bleeding out, and at Raijin’s mercy.

You had it easy though, you saw your dad’s left arm was gone, as well as a good portion of his chest. He was no longer breathing, he couldn’t be saved! “Damn it!” you slammed your fist on the ground as you stumbled back onto your feet.

“Passing grade for effort,” Raijin told you, not even taunting the two of you, just genuinely praising your attempt to stay alive. You watched as an orb of lightning gathered in front of his palm and gritted your teeth.

You still had some strength left, if this was going to obliterate you, you’d at the very least give it one last try. You raised both of your hands, an orb of red lightning forming in front of you.

“Ridiculous. I guess you are still somewhat human, you just won’t give up,” he smirked and threw the ball of lightning toward you.

With a defiant roar you hurled your own lightning right at it and sent several lightning bolts after it. The two orbs of lightning collided, but yours wasn’t consumed right away, they clashed in the middle, lightning crackling around them, ground splitting as red and blue mixed together and you felt your own strength skyrocketing. You felt lightning bursting all around you, consuming you, burning your wounds closed, strengthening you, as you pushed back against Raijin’s blue lightning. And bit by bit red absorbed blue, turning purple in the process. The lightning between you and Raijin exploded and you stumbled back and fell onto the ground.

~X~

He sighed, the few scratches from the explosion stinging for an entirely different reason. “In the end your body couldn’t handle it,” he approached you, your wounds closed, but you couldn’t survive the sudden increase in power. “Your fang did reach me, stubborn tiger. Rest easy, I’ll let your loved ones grieve in peace,” he crouched down next to your body and closed your eyes. “How tragic is it, to see potential squandered for the sake of dogged ideals of love,” he took out a phone, not to taunt the girl, but to let her know she lost her raiju, and he sent the video, proof of your demise.

~X~

Wednesday heard her phone beeping again as she stepped inside her home. It was dreadfully familiar, the smell, the sound of her footsteps, the entire house looked just the way it did when she left. Not that it surprised her, the house was more or less the same as it was years ago, let alone the brief time she spent at Nevermore.

She pulled her phone out of her bag as she took her shoes off, you would probably reach your own destination by now. And you did promise to send her a text and though she refused to be a slave to technology she did figure this was a convenient way to handle brief communication. Instead of a text message she saw some kind of media attachment and clicked on it.

Her eyes widened as her family came into the hall to greet her. But her eyes were glued on the phone and she just barely felt Thing on her shoulder. He froze on her shoulder, and she realized she wasn’t seeing things.

“Wednesday?” her mother spoke up, but Wednesday didn’t respond.

She just watched the video, your body, covered in blood, next to your father, both of you clearly dead.

“Lurch get back in the car!” she yelled, putting her shoes back on and rushing outside, her bag forgotten on the floor as her family went after her.

~X~

Elijah managed to roll onto his stomach and drag his body closer to you once Raijin was gone. He was dead. His heart stopped, he wasn’t breathing, he bled out, his body was completely dead, and he couldn’t move anything aside from his right arm and head.

Everything in the body functioned through brain signals, and those were electrical impulses, so as long as his brain still worked he could somewhat function. But he was running out of time. Once heart stopped beating he only had three to four minutes left, and with each passing minute his capabilities would be severely worsened. He still needed to keep you alive. You wouldn’t bleed out, your wounds were for the most part closed, he just needed to get your heart beating again. So, with what little time he had left he raised his bloody palm above your heart and sent lightning to your heart.

He looked at you, at your unmoving body. No matter what you weren’t dying with him here! He was your father, he was supposed to protect you, yet even with him there you still got this hurt! He failed as a father, but he would not let you die, his lightning gradually restarted your heart, slowly forcing your brain to send signals to the stopped organ once more, until your heart began steadily beating and he saw you breathing, each breath was shallow, but you were alive.

Raiju resilience would do the rest, you’d recover, stronger than ever before. He only wished he could speak and tell you how proud of you he was, how much he loved you, and how much he wished he could have given you a normal family, with both parents present in your life instead of the way things ended up.

In the end, him fleeing, hiding from Raijin didn’t keep you safe.

He raised his hand, brushing some dust from your face with the back of his finger. You’d be fine, you were stronger than loss. ‘Grieve, cry, process all the emotions however you want, but then get up and keep on living’ if he could have, that’s what his last words to you would be.

He pushed away from you and his right arm fell onto the ground, about a foot away from you and he closed his eyes, his brain shutting down completely. His life flashed in front of his eyes. His childhood, his first shift, his time at Nevermore, meeting Anna, your birth, it was a good life, he wished for more time with you, with your mother, but he was content knowing you were still alive.

And so, Elijah, raiju that shifted into golden bear, died, the last act of his life saving the life of his daughter.

A/N: I need season 2! Until then 3 or 4 chapters of Woe out the Storm, just to resolve the cliffhanger from the chapter 15. Gimme thoughts!

Story masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next Part

Taglist: @brocoliisscared @alexkolax

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

What if S/O wants skeleton to do something with them, skeleton says no and then S/O just says all dramatically like

" then you leave me no choice. you did this to yourself.."

Then proceeds to attach themselves to their leg and won't let go and will only loud repeat the word "PLEASE!" Until the skeleton agrees to their demands lol

Can it be the main 10 plz

Undertale Sans - Fine. You leave him no other choice. He spreads his arms like an eagle and lets himself fall backward. He crashes on your back in a broken Lego sound. Now what? You're both on the ground. What did you learn from this?

Undertale Papyrus - So that's what Undyne felt that day he attached to her leg to beg her to let her inside the Royal Guard. Damn. He's having an existential crisis right now. Anyway, it's still no. He uses your head as a lever to get his leg back then he sprints and jumps by the window so you don't go after him.

Underswap Sans - He's pulling on his leg with despair. He's too small and light to drag you. He's completely stuck. Desperate, he tries using the sad guilty eyes to force you to let you go but you know that trick too well now. Urgh. FINE. He'll do it, you beat him.

Underswap Papyrus - He tries to free himself but he's too clumsy and only succeeds in face-planting into the ground. He stays there, the face buried into the floor. He can't do what you want for him if he's dead. He's dead. He's more patient than you anyway so you will get bored before he is.

Underfell Sans - He slowly kneels in front of you and gently takes your chin in his hand, like he's going to kiss you. He then brings his big head close and whispers a lovely "go to hell." before taking advantage of your visible confusion to trash his leg until you let go and sprint into his room, closing the door in your face and locking it. AH! What you're going to do now, uh?

Underfell Papyrus - He ignores you and keeps walking, dragging you across the floor. That's two hours now. You're in the middle of the street, everyone is looking at you, but you are both too stubborn to give up. That's going to be a long day.

Horrortale Sans - He picks you up like a potato bag and throws you above his shoulder so you can't stop him from walking. You struggle angrily but you underestimate Oak's stubbornness. You're not getting down before a few hours. He's going to carry you around like this whether you want it or not. You played, you lost. Deal with it.

Horrortale Papyrus - He sighs loudly and rolls his eyes at your behavior. That's not fair. He can't bend over to unattach you. You're cheating. But that's fine. He starts to walk with you tied to his ankle and he's walking with determination towards the cow enclosure, full of poop on the floor. We'll see who's going to win this game.

Swapfell Sans - He hisses and trashes around to make you let go. Since you're not letting go, he bites your arm with his very sharp teeth, forcing you to let go. What? You did that to yourself, you said it. Now go whine and leave him to enjoy his coffee in peace.

Swapfell Papyrus - Oh, the game is on. He drags you to the bathroom and locks the door. He then switches on the shower with cold water and he waits. He can't feel the temperature. You on the other hand… He's patient. You'll give up before him.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's judging you so hard right now. He's staring at you, clearly cringed out. But that's fine. He starts to walk, making sure your head meets his high heels every time. We'll see who's going to hold on longer.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - But noooooo. Coffee starts to whine, frustrated, and then he just flops on the floor. He's not moving, you're not moving. ... Does that mean you can cuddle with him now? You say no. Oh :( Well, too bad. He's staying there anyway.

[for-hunger]

For me, the most interesting difference between IWTV the book and IWTV the show is that Anne Rice's vampires don’t have sex.

Anne Rice's vampire world is actually a lot bleaker and less human than AMC's because of this.

For book vampires, killing replaces all pleasures - food, love, companionship - but primarily the 1:1 exchange is sex. Louis famously makes this connection when Claudia asks him what sex was like and he calls it "the pale shadow of killing"- even if vampires could have sex, it wouldn't compare to the pleasure of the kill. The detailed descriptions of vampire feeding are directly sexual. For example, take Lestat feeding on a young boy:

The language that Rice uses to describe the vampires' hunting behaviors also recalls sexual patterns. Claudia and Lestat are described as "seducers" of mortals who enjoy affairs- wining and dining their prey, enjoying both their talents and their suffering. Louis seeks something more like a series of self-hating lapsed-Catholic one-night stands:

This difference is most interesting when it comes to Louis's existential crisis. In the show, Louis deals with his evil through "vegetarianism," i.e. abstaining from killing humans. For AMC's vampires, killing is a (highly enjoyable, sensual, occasionally sexual) means to an end- the end being blood and therefore survival. Louis may be deeply uncomfortable, psychically and physically, but there are other things he's living for: his business, his family, his daughter, sex and romance with Lestat.

But in the book, vegetarianism is impossible in the long term.

Just before Claudia's turning, book Louis has been vegetarian for 4 years, and his existential crisis is at its peak. Lestat tries to get through to him about his reluctance to kill:

Lestat seduces him in a romantic and striking speech about how "evil is a point of view" and they are "dark angels"; "no creatures under God are as we are, none so like Him as ourselves." And unlike in the show, Book Louis listens to him, because his life has become unlivable. He realizes that killing is "everything," because "there is nothing else"- no sex, no food, no companionship - or at least, nothing that at all compares in meaning. Other pleasures are only "the pale shadow of killing," as Louis says.

Killing for Louis (and the rest of Anne Rice's vampires) not only sates physical hunger. It is the (only) cure for existential despair. In stark contrast to Show Louis, Book Louis gives up vegetarianism after Lestat's speech, adopting a more vampiric attitude, and never returns to it:

The show engages with the larger themes and dynamics surrounding Louis's reluctance to kill that the book pointedly ignores - mainly the active evils of racism and homophobia. It masterfully weaves Louis's internalized homophobia in with his disgust for his own evil. It shows the limits of the vampires' power over the world in that no one can kill their way out of Jim Crow.

The choice to deemphasize the sexualized pleasure of killing makes sense in this context. I don't think either of these themes would make as much of an impact if Louis couldn't have meaningful gay sex and interracial romances the way he does. But it certainly makes for a different world. Anne Rice's vampires are isolated existentially, cut off from any of the satisfactions of the human world, and this makes them selfish and remote, even from each other. Sadism in all forms becomes the prevailing pleasure, the prevailing dynamic of interaction- when Claudia seeks to hurt Louis, she compares their arguments to sex, saying "hurting you as I do now... that is also the pale shadow of killing." (207) I'm curious to see how and if this plays out in the rest of the books.

(Disclaimer that I haven't read any of the books except Interview with the Vampire)

[nitewrighter]

So like... I'm reading Superman: The Man of Steel Issue #62 and initially I was kind of shrugging the Hamilton+Krypton parallel off because at first it just seemed like, "Oh, you're just juxtaposing Jor-El's dread at the impending loss of Krypton against Superman fighting against the impending total-death-of-earth-because-our-Sun-Got-Eaten." You have Superman's loss of power without sunlight juxtaposed with Jor-El's scientific mastery being ultimately helpless in the face of this existential threat. But then midway through it pancake flips the despair of the whole thing because Superman has what Jor-El doesn't--not heat vision or super strength because he's a yellow star-irradiated mutant of his species--but rather a planet that trusts him and is willing to work with him to save themselves. And like, this isn't even played in such a way as 'ough it's Krypton's fault this happened to them' but rather it's a thesis of "Interpersonal connection is our ultimate salvation, and it is so easy to lose that. Even if you're the smartest, most powerful people in the world. Especially if you're the smartest, most powerful people in the world."

You'll remember that "Kryptonians aren't even mammals" commenter i was talking about like... a week back. Like, they pretty much were operating from this position of, "If you posit any headcanons on Krypton that it was flawed or that there were cultural factors contributing to the totality of its destruction, then you're undermining Superman's immigrant narrative because you're making him quote unquote 'One of the good ones.'" But like...this is also where the line of speculative fiction vs societal narrative gets blurred. Speculative fiction is supposed to take certain worldbuilding elements to various extremes to illustrate how those elements operate within our society--and like, the crazy thing about Krypton is, that though there's a lot of aspects of it that were meant to be portrayed as extremes in the silver, bronze, and modern comic book ages, I feel like we have more in common with this fictional planet than ever. Like, is it really less relatable when you talk about it as a cold and alienating society when we're literally dealing with that right now?

[zmeyel]

How do I deal with the existential despair of knowing that time will erase all my effort and struggles?

Himmel the Hero: You should help other people, as your connections with them will be your legacy.

Heiter the Priest: Gaslight yourself. Heaven is real and the Goddess will pat your head.

[alastors-airwaves]

In the Hella-Omegaverse, a pup (or child) who is packless could experience both physical and emotional consequences, as the lack of a pack's protective and nurturing energy could leave them vulnerable to various conditions. Here are some potential illnesses or complications that could arise:

Separation Sickness

Symptoms: Weakness, lethargy, loss of appetite, and emotional distress.

Cause: Without the emotional and physical support of a pack, a pup could experience intense feelings of loneliness and insecurity. This can weaken their immune system and cause them to fall ill more easily.

Soul Draining/Withering

Symptoms: Rapid fatigue, paleness, inability to heal properly, and general physical frailty.

Cause: A pack provides emotional nourishment, and being packless can cause the pup’s soul to wither or weaken. This may result in their life force depleting over time, leaving them vulnerable to demonic energy or other supernatural threats.

Note: The harsh and competitive nature of Hell could worsen this condition, making the pup easy prey for stronger demons or entities seeking to consume their weakened soul.

Instinct Dysregulation

Symptoms: Uncontrollable emotional outbursts, difficulty managing primal urges, disorientation, and loss of control over their instincts.

Cause: Without a pack to provide structure and guidance, a pup’s instincts may go haywire. They could struggle to regulate their emotional and physical responses, especially in stressful situations.

Note: A packless pup might become erratic or dangerously aggressive, unable to control their Alpha, Beta, or Omega instincts in Hell’s chaotic environment. This could lead to violent outbursts or self-destructive behavior.

Pack Deprivation Syndrome

Symptoms: Chronic fatigue, failure to thrive, weakened immune system, and delayed development.

Cause: In the Omegaverse, packs provide vital social and physical support that helps pups grow and develop. Being packless could stunt their emotional and physical growth, leading to long-term health issues.

Emotional Despair Disorder

Symptoms: Anxiety, depression, nightmares, and emotional instability.

Cause: Being without a pack could lead to deep feelings of abandonment and isolation, causing long-term emotional and psychological trauma. Pups might develop chronic anxiety or depression without the comfort and security of a family unit.

Defensive Hyperactivity Syndrome

Symptoms: Hyper-vigilance, paranoia, inability to rest or relax, and a constant state of fight-or-flight.

Cause: Without a pack to offer safety, a pup might remain constantly on edge, always feeling the need to defend themselves. This heightened state of alertness can lead to exhaustion and eventual collapse.

Soul Starvation

Symptoms: Feeling empty, disconnected, or hollow; difficulty forming bonds or understanding social connections; eventual mental and physical decline.

Cause: Packs provide essential soul-nourishing bonds that help pups feel connected and grounded. Without these connections, a pup may feel as though something vital is missing, leading to existential emptiness and eventual mental collapse.

Failure to Bond Syndrome

Symptoms: Difficulty forming future bonds, social anxiety, withdrawal from others, and distrust of relationships.

Cause: Pups who grow up packless may have difficulty forming bonds with others later in life. They may become emotionally distant or suspicious of those who try to get close to them, fearing abandonment or betrayal.

Note: Since bonds and deals are often transactional in Hell, a packless pup might become hyper-aware of the dangers of trusting others, making them emotionally stunted and hard to connect with as they grow older.

[triznoff]

RM’s world: RM vs Albert Camus

If you know RM (Namjoon) from BTS, you probably already know he's super into art and culture. From the very start of his music career, he's been impressing fans with his creativity, and his style has definitely evolved over time. He’s always exploring different themes and ideas in his music, but one thing that stays the same is how deep his lyrics are and how they often reflect philosophical thoughts. In this video, I want to dive into how RM’s work connects to the philosophy of Albert Camus and take a closer look at what’s going on in his head and his approach to life.

About the Song

Let’s talk about his song LOST! It dropped on May 24, 2024, as part of RM's second solo album Right Place, Wrong Person. This track is super introspective and reflective, which is kind of RM’s thing. It’s all about existential uncertainty, that feeling of being confused about your place in the world.

Now, to really get the full picture of what LOST! is about, you need to watch the music video. The visuals add a lot to the message of the song. But even without hearing the song, you can sense the main theme — it’s all about feeling lost, disconnected from everything, and lonely.

Right Place, Wrong Person

So, RM's album Right Place, Wrong Person really focuses on existential thoughts, personal growth, and emotional vulnerability. It's all about human emotions and the struggle of feeling like you're not quite where you should be in life. The album title itself kind of hints at that internal conflict — like when what’s expected of you doesn’t match what you actually want. It’s full of moments of self-doubt and uncertainty.

Absurdity

In LOST!, RM tackles this inner chaos — the need to find freedom, and the struggle with personal problems.

When you break down the music video and the lyrics, two big ideas come out — rebellion and absurdity. The main character in the song, probably RM himself, refuses to just follow the rules everyone else seems fine with. You know, that idea of just accepting everything with love and moving on? RM’s character questions that. His doubts and inner struggles make him realize just how absurd the world can be. He’s trying to make sense of things, but the more he does, the more chaotic it seems.

The lines "Pick it up, throw it in the trunk, dump it on the ground" repeat throughout the song, and they really show how RM’s character is stuck in this loop of trying to find order in chaos. But after a while, he just accepts the absurdity of it all and decides to go with the flow.

This ties into Albert Camus’ philosophy, especially his work The Myth of Sisyphus. Camus says that life is kind of absurd — humans are always looking for meaning in a world that doesn’t really have any. Camus argues that while life may not have any inherent meaning, we shouldn’t give in to despair. Instead, we should embrace life and live it to the fullest, even if it feels meaningless.

Like Sisyphus, who keeps pushing that boulder up the hill even though he knows it’ll just roll back down, RM’s character in LOST! keeps going. He’s searching for freedom and trying to figure things out, even though the world seems pointless and confusing. The song expresses that desire to break free and find yourself, even in the middle of all the chaos.

But here’s the thing: RM’s character doesn’t try to impose his views on the world or prove society’s absurdity like Camus. For him, it’s more of a temporary, internal struggle. The absurdity exists in his mind, and it’s something he’s just dealing with for now.

Wrapping Up

So, with all of this said, don’t think of LOST! as just one-dimensional. If you spend more time with the song, you’ll see just how deep it really goes. I hope this breakdown gives you a better idea of RM’s creative world and his way of seeing things. There's so much to explore, and this is just scratching the surface.

[charryflavoredblood]

Hi! Can I plz ask for a Komegi fic? I was thinking maybe the two are having a relaxing time in the bath together. Nothing sexual, it’s just intimate. Maybe Nagito’s went into one of his manic downward spirals so to comfort him Makoto washing Nagito’s hair to help the other man relaxed.

Yes. I love you thank you. I love you. Komaeda is what I live for. I think I lost the plot somewhere along the way but just know, it was in mind and I will rewrite it if you don't like it!!

TW: Existentialism, potential disassociation trigger.

“Makoto-”

Nagito calls out to his boyfriend.  

“Wait okay, do you want peach or the rosemary pomegranate one?”

Naegi grabbed the two bottles of shampoo. (The same ones that Komaeda had bought for him after he found out that the other was using…head and shoulder. And Makoto said that he needed to show himself more respect.)

“Those are yours-” “If I mix them, it won’t cause mustard gas, right? I played potions when I was little, it’ll be fine.” Makoto questioned, talking to no one but himself. He gently kneeled down on his partner’s- no, his bathroom floor.

After Nagito’s most recent breakdown, the pair had decided Makoto should move into Nagito's home. The pair being Makoto and Komaeda’s therapist, of course. Komaeda had insisted that Makoto deserved to be in a far nicer, far bigger and far warmer home.The younger man still lived with his sister and her wife. Anywhere was warmer than that apartment. Plus, Komaeda was loaded. He was basically Togami without legal limits.

Not that he only liked his boyfriend for his money! He adored him for his sense of humor, his kindness, his intelligence and most of all his passion! 

“Hey Makoto?” “Huh?”

Komaeda snapped him out of his train of thought, which was more than welcome. Any real Komaeda was better than the best imaginary Komaeda.

“I was thinking last night. Why is living so hard? Why must we be given false good days only to fall deeper into despair with so many terrible bad days? It truly makes me wonder what the point of it all is. Why must we feel despair…? Why is hope so temporary while despair is forever. They’re considered opposites. Why is one so much more powerful?”

Normally this would’ve caught Makoto off guard…but he was dealing with Nagito and he knew the other better than most things.

“Gee, that’s pretty philosophical, huh?” He responded, pumping the shampoo on his hands.

The brunette hummed in thought as he lathered the shampoo up, moving to his boyfriend’s hair.

“If every day was great, would it still be great or would it be a normal day? If we didn’t overcome hardship, wouldn’t that make us lumps of…something. I don’t know, I failed science. Despair doesn’t extinguish hope…just like hope doesn’t extinguish despair. When someone is at a fair, they could look at a ferris wheel and say “I won’t get on that because there is a 2.5% chance of it crashing.” On the other hand, someone could’ve just gotten into a ferris wheel crash, they could say “I’m alright. I made it. I survived.” You know?” Komaeda thought of a rebuttal before letting it go. 

Makoto rubbed the shampoo into the white hair and continued.

“We can worry about things like that, we can worry about each other getting hurt, or we can enjoy our time together and cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Nagito nodded and leaned in for a kiss, only to be met with fingers against his lips.

“Sorry…I don’t like the taste of shampoo.”

“Never thought you were one of those. I suppose you’re going to make me shower before we-”

“No! I didn’t mean that! I just-”

“I’m messing with you, Makoto.”

“...I still don’t like the taste of shampoo.”

“Who does?” I loved writing this. Ily all, drink water. Don't die. Dying if dehydration when you can help it is cringe. Ily again. K bye.

[disjunkt]

don't mind me I'm gonna go on a claymore reblogging spree instead of rereading claymore while dealing with the existential despair of whether or not to let my claymore domain expire

(also whether to nuke the gallery?? it's getting more hits than all of my other sites, which doesn't seem legit to me. bots??)