#one of them is depressed with a smile
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Hi! Can I plz ask for a Komegi fic? I was thinking maybe the two are having a relaxing time in the bath together. Nothing sexual, it’s just intimate. Maybe Nagito’s went into one of his manic downward spirals so to comfort him Makoto washing Nagito’s hair to help the other man relaxed.
Yes. I love you thank you. I love you. Komaeda is what I live for. I think I lost the plot somewhere along the way but just know, it was in mind and I will rewrite it if you don't like it!!
TW: Existentialism, potential disassociation trigger.
“Makoto-”
Nagito calls out to his boyfriend.
“Wait okay, do you want peach or the rosemary pomegranate one?”
Naegi grabbed the two bottles of shampoo. (The same ones that Komaeda had bought for him after he found out that the other was using…head and shoulder. And Makoto said that he needed to show himself more respect.)
“Those are yours-” “If I mix them, it won’t cause mustard gas, right? I played potions when I was little, it’ll be fine.” Makoto questioned, talking to no one but himself. He gently kneeled down on his partner’s- no, his bathroom floor.
After Nagito’s most recent breakdown, the pair had decided Makoto should move into Nagito's home. The pair being Makoto and Komaeda’s therapist, of course. Komaeda had insisted that Makoto deserved to be in a far nicer, far bigger and far warmer home.The younger man still lived with his sister and her wife. Anywhere was warmer than that apartment. Plus, Komaeda was loaded. He was basically Togami without legal limits.
Not that he only liked his boyfriend for his money! He adored him for his sense of humor, his kindness, his intelligence and most of all his passion!
“Hey Makoto?” “Huh?”
Komaeda snapped him out of his train of thought, which was more than welcome. Any real Komaeda was better than the best imaginary Komaeda.
“I was thinking last night. Why is living so hard? Why must we be given false good days only to fall deeper into despair with so many terrible bad days? It truly makes me wonder what the point of it all is. Why must we feel despair…? Why is hope so temporary while despair is forever. They’re considered opposites. Why is one so much more powerful?”
Normally this would’ve caught Makoto off guard…but he was dealing with Nagito and he knew the other better than most things.
“Gee, that’s pretty philosophical, huh?” He responded, pumping the shampoo on his hands.
The brunette hummed in thought as he lathered the shampoo up, moving to his boyfriend’s hair.
“If every day was great, would it still be great or would it be a normal day? If we didn’t overcome hardship, wouldn’t that make us lumps of…something. I don’t know, I failed science. Despair doesn’t extinguish hope…just like hope doesn’t extinguish despair. When someone is at a fair, they could look at a ferris wheel and say “I won’t get on that because there is a 2.5% chance of it crashing.” On the other hand, someone could’ve just gotten into a ferris wheel crash, they could say “I’m alright. I made it. I survived.” You know?” Komaeda thought of a rebuttal before letting it go.
Makoto rubbed the shampoo into the white hair and continued.
“We can worry about things like that, we can worry about each other getting hurt, or we can enjoy our time together and cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Nagito nodded and leaned in for a kiss, only to be met with fingers against his lips.
“Sorry…I don’t like the taste of shampoo.”
“Never thought you were one of those. I suppose you’re going to make me shower before we-”
“No! I didn’t mean that! I just-”
“I’m messing with you, Makoto.”
“...I still don’t like the taste of shampoo.”
“Who does?” I loved writing this. Ily all, drink water. Don't die. Dying if dehydration when you can help it is cringe. Ily again. K bye.
#komaegi#komaeda nagito#nagito komaeda#makoto naegi#naegi makoto#danganronpa#gay ship#gay men#fluff#men in love#one of them is depressed with a smile#one of them is a smile with depressed#guess who is who#drink water#ily#dont die#dying of dehydration when u can help it is cringe.#dying is cringe#ily again#k bye
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Kell and Lila are around married couples in the two places where they mostly are in tftop. There is Rhy and Alucard at the palace and Vasry and Raya on the ship. They may not be officially married. Their matching black rings aren't engagement rings in the typical sense. But they have been living together for seven years already and they are in a domestic partnership and just thinking about this got me giggling and kicking my feet
#shut up I love them. they are the cure to my depression#I have another analysis post in my drafts about this and maybe I'll talk about this topic again#also: writing this post to tell you no 6th smile one shot tonight bc I am not feeling great and I still have to finish it. but soon#kell maresh#lila bard#kellila#a darker shade of magic#the fragile threads of power#tftop#a gathering of shadows#a conjuring of light#adsom#my posts 4#my text posts
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Wasn’t planning on posting this tbh but I was quite happy with this so
Law deserves to smile too (he looks mentally insane 😭😭😭) Crappost
original picture-
#this trio either got so much potential or is the worst thing ever created there is no in between#I LOVE perona sm she so real#I love these depressed losers sm ❤️❤️❤️😔😔😔😔#look at law#smug lil jerk#took away kaku and Perona’s smile because law deserves a chance#I regret it I’m giving them their smiles back#he’s so done#one piece#crappost#cp9#kaku#ghost princess perona#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar law
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scribblezone again testing out brushes, early grey oru, and ace attorney-style psychelocks
#witch hat tag#orufrey#doodly. i like one of the brushes tho.#oh and i was thinking how the girls have qifrey's hat design but oru's (current) tassel and how that makes me feel#ppl will surely be thinking umm WHY do they have a different tassel to him unlike every other atelier ever. the whole tassel thing is just.#whatever. *keeps the rest to myself as i fall down a zelda-style chasm of emotion*#i JUST wanna know if tassel swapping is a cultural witch sign of commitment OR if it's something they just made up. JUST TELL ME. NAAOOOOWW#the girls are too young to hear about it because oru has the inbuilt belief that kids will mercilessly tease ppl#ok what is going on someone said the psychelocks art made them laugh and someone else said it made them smile#sometimes when i try to get out depressing ideas ppl are like hehe aww and then for those pink clothes i got surprisingly much sad response#it wasnt THAT sad........maybe. anyway genuinely interesting . this world is a mystery#i think its bc i mix humour & tragedy more than i ever imagined i would. i mean witch hat is like that so thats why im doing it. well anywa
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what makes minedai even sadder is that we never rlly see daigo try to build a bond with anyone else like he did with mine it rlly shows how badly it effected him like yeah he reached out to shinada in y5 but that’s rlly it and he probably would wanna leave him alone after that and not involve him in any yakuza stuff so i don’t think they would’ve hung out or anything like that afterwards. All he rlly had were saejima and majima but they were more like babysitters than anything, wish we saw more of their dynamic tho like we did with majima and daigo in dead souls since that was fun and we were lowkey robbed but in canon he’s just as lonely as he was before majimas promise to kiryu. And mine is the only person he really had a meaningful relationship with romantic or not they were still really close and we don’t see that again with daigo ever (from what i recall after y3) ok sorry for rambling LMFAO
even with shinada, he reached out to him more so out of 'duty' and trying to make up for the misfortune that befell him because of yakuza than wanting to rekindle any kind of friendship they might have had in high school (though it sounds more like they were just acquaintances if shinada needing a second to remember who daigo was is anything), so yah i doubt they really had any kind of bond afterwards
dead souls really was the only time after Y3 where we got to see daigo be more sociable with someone, but its as you say majima and saejima are more like retainers than close friends
#snap chats#you can tell i was into fire emblem when the first term that comes to my mind to call majima and saejima was 'retainers' omfg#but yeah ..... depressing ....#does make me wonder who daigo was on the phone with during the rggo story though. like clearly daigo has friends#apparently. we just never see or hear of them. tho ig it is implied those were his friends from the y2 era. as mine said flarkjla#REGARDLESS yeah after y3 daigo just feels depressing to watch#i think its just because he really has to do everything on his own now#but not even have a friend to just chill with at the end of the day- like the technical work is whatever. for the most part#THATS stressful obvi so to not have anyone to really be personable with thats probably the dire part. imo.#cause yk the world could suck but as long as you have that One Person to just relax with then its ok but with mine gone. 🧍♂️#probably doesnt help that like. during the 'flashback' segment of y3 where we get to see daigo sitting with kiryu and nakahara#we see him all cheery and bein a lil jokester and just. A Happy Dude#granted this is barely a year or two into being chairman so The Horrors Havent Set In relatively but still ... i miss his smile ..#every time i think of daigo post-mine i think of those like. tragedies or accounts of people where its like#'after X's friend/lover died they never found another again' like thats the vibe i always get#he really packed it up and never got close with anyone else again and it makes me want to throw up#y4 widow arc still good tho it makes me chortle
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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me when women
#pretty girl looked at me and smiled: depression - cured ✔️#women are... wow. just wow#i'm in awe#they're sooo 💞💜💞💜💞❤️💜💓🧡💗🩷💓❤️❤️🔥❤️💓🩷💗❤️💓🤍💞💘🖤🖤🧡❤️🔥❤️💓💘💞❤️🔥❤️🩹❣️💓💓🩷💓💟❣️🩶❤️🔥🩷💞#imagine being attracted to men lmfao 🤣#why would i be attracted to them when women exist? pathetic#i love women. would love to be with one someday#i feel like... ken#rambles
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There was a way to purchase ep 1 so I watched the whole thing just now!!
The ED seems to be Ruby's song.. But do you think the lyric stands for Ai's feelings too? I've only heard the first verse but it mentions about lies and what's cannot be said and has to be kept a secret. That reminds me of the 15 year-old lie.
The OP too, I think it reflects Kamiki's feelings towards Ai as well as it being Aqua's. The feeling it conveys is dire and really, really strong. The part where it says "I can't live without you"... Would aqua have those same type of feelings? Aqua loves Ai but she's not the only thing he must pursue and he has desires for living a normal life welled up inside. However, I don't think the same thing can be applied for Kamiki yet. In fact, if there is a character who's hopelessly obsessed/mesmerized towards Ai enough for her to take over their entire life, I think it should be him. Aqua's feelings towards Ai is guilt and longing, and pain. The song has pain in it, but the repective speaker is also enamored by Ai. It should be this guy who's loved her in that way.
The ep was amazing, the part where aqua appears wearing goro's clothes in the op was really scary..;
Akane is so much prettier with long hair, I love how passionate she is about acting and she's very cute. I want to see more of kana acting too.
This is such a promising season! I feel like I've seen a lot of the things I wanted to see in this one ep though, the op basically summarizes this entire season.. But I'm sure every scenes will be re-enacted in a delicate way! So I'll be looking forward to it!
Again, I hope Aqua will smile. He has a really good one and it's a pity we don't get to see it often(he's so depressed.. And that's why I think he should be with someone that makes him do that. It doesn't HAVE to be romance but I am convinced. He should be happy enough to smile in the end of this series, he's suffered so much)
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#hikaai#I rly think the op and ed might have to do with them(again...)#aqua and ruby resemble their parents in more ways than one#mentality for one thing#spoilers#money well spent. will be following!#I HAVE to draw aqua smiling soon#I love it when depressed boys smile(I'm looking at you too p3mc)#when they do they have the greatest ones. that was so sweet to see..
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I can’t help but feel like something is deeply wrong with me because of this yearning I feel to be nowhere near anything that is familiar
#i inconvenience myself by living in a city different to the one I work in (and am from!!!)#yesterday I sat outside the office in the sun for an hour and listening to people talk and laugh and seeing them smile made me so..#uncomfortable. I felt fine like I was in a good mood the sun felt amazing. but I feel so deeply uncomfortable in those situations#(is it just the autism. can most things be put down to my being autistic? probably!)#but it’s also like. I don’t ever want to live somewhere that even vaguely resembles British suburbia#it’s too familiar it takes me back to being a depressed child like I want somewhere very different to make my home#and have none of these painful reminders#until then I genuinely fear I just can’t be fully alright
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venting dont mind me xp ✌
#if i dont get out of my parents house im going to die#either by my hand or my mothers#i refuse to be forced into the role of woman becuz my mother cant get over herself or accept other peoples suffering#so i either leave or i die#i am never more depressed than when im in this house and it gets worse everytime i return#every second of oeace is a facade careful held up by smiles and jokes while ignoring who i am to please others#and ignorjng the genuinely genocidal beliefs of my parents against myltple peoples#at least one of which includes me#why cant life be easy#when is it .y turn to tbrive#in this hluse i am no older than a middle schooler no more mature or happy#everyday i dream of relapsing sh-ing just for some control of the pain i experiemce something anything#maybe someone will finally listen to me and se ehow ioset i am see how smothered i am and the sting will pull me back down to earth again#but no who would see would understand#my brothers or my parents none of them would kniw why even if i said it to thwir face#i dint event even want to think of what my mother woukd say#shed use it as an excuse to further deny my transness surely#say how horribke and spirtful and manipulative i am against her#that i ddi it to hurt her#i am trapped as a doll in a house only allowed to be agreeable no politics no emotions other tan#contentness and love and adoration for my family#or else i am unloveavle and horrible and sick#i cannot tell my mom she has uoset me becuz it would be unfair i am silent instead#i am to take her anger and rage as a perfect recepticle and no matter how well i handle it#i am thanked with resentment amd scorn amd terfisms#i can neither disagree woth her beliefs nor avoid discussing them to keeo the oeace all she wants is comoliance#i refuse to do that tho ill take hee scorn on that one thing i refuse to xomprimise my beliefs verbally to save my own skin#ill just be quiet#im sure id be a better recepticle for her dead so she can dress me up as a girl one last time#the dead cant argue or disagree with you its everything she wants from me
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there's something in the water that's specifically affecting green haired princesses who have purple eyes and also bpd (momochi and hiyori)
#I think I was able to show a new side of myself this time >< Please give it a listen��� and doing spells on cheers to bless their dreams#even though both of her songs seem to be angsty and about her family#meanwhile hiyori the bitch was like#like with momochi there was her tweeting that the time for dreams is over (and yakouka possibly representing her current mental health)#and for hiyori it's her mental breakdown in accept my love#and also them brushing it off like it's nothing#like when the teaser dropped momochi tweeted something like#Life isn’t all about fun. There’s times where you feel depressed and like you want to cry.#When that happens it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#Listen to my songs and follow the productions I appear in—#Just imitate me and smile! Since I always have a smile on my face!"#like girl the song was you spiraling over your loved ones becoming independant and no one needing your love even though she accepted that's#now her only role in life (to love and be loved)#like no one was concerned??? esp with the contrast with fantastic days#there's something poetic about her feeling she's no longer useful and her regression when in !! she suddenly became nicer with no explanati#and also her getting 0 song event 4*s and that eden is no longer relying on her (legit did nothing important in most of the eden events)#including ss finals with the dumbass oracles like the story was fucking boring and gatekeeper legit got more importance than tori and hiyor#anyway happy bday to my beautiful princess with a disorder#they should lock momochi and hiyori in a room (they both would somehow take each other out even though momochi is built like a paper straw#and hiyori is not strong at all the heaviest thing she wants to carry is her chopsticks)#in an alternate universe hanae couldve been voicing momochi instead of yuu and it would make this post even funnier
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Honeybee: Name something positive you have done for yourself or someone else in the last two weeks.
I’ve been really trying to focus on bettering myself lately.
#starting to clean/organize my room so I can actually sleep and live in there#miss art so much so I’m desperately trying to get a desk area set up#trying to eat better#lol#that one is damn hard when you don’t have your own kitchen my dude#but I’m trying?#I JOGGED yesterday???????#fucking mindblowing I know#don’t remember the last time I jogged#I went on a long walk with Maya puppy and we jogged a few times#you guys should have seen her smile 😭#she also met this tiny senior dog named Murphy and she was SO excited and happy afterwards#it was the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages 🥹#I wish I could say something I did for someone else#and I’ve done small things here and there sure#but when I’m drowning and trying to survive it’s so hard to help other people#like I’m trying to be myself and check in on people and make sure they’re doing good and being there to listen to them vent#but I can barely handle my day#like my sister vented to me the other day (and of course I was actually in a good mood at the start of the call)#and then by the end I was stuck in my depression like I spiraled BAD#so idk I’m trying super hard to focus on myself and get me back to my happy rosie self#so I can help other people#thanks for the ask 🫶#ask#ask me shit
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bennett genshin
#hi </3 the bennett thoughts have hit me again#its been a while huh benny (its been like a four months)#ITS JUSTTTY#HOW HE KEEPS TRYING TO SMILE DESPITE IT ALL !!!! HOW HE LOVES HIS LOVED ONES SO MUCH AND WANTS TO MAKE THEM HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT#AND IF THAT COMES AT /HIS PRICE/ WELL THEN!! IF THERES A SMILE ON THEIR FACE#head in my hands he’s the best kid. best boy. benny my beloved#like it gets on him sometimes that just. people keep leaving and the blame is always solely on him for something out of his control#(try as he might. Try As He Might.)#that the smile he wears grows brittle but tomorrow is always another day for something brighter !!!!!#ugh. ugh#lantern says stuff#the more i think abt him the more im just. yeah my depression riddled brain would latch on hard
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living vivaciously thru my art.
#im smiling and saying this w tears in my eyes btw#theyre my alt universe#but i will never be happy in the real world#i have not found my tribe and ive lost hope finding them at the age i am now#disharmony and soul disconnect all around#my soul recognizes no one#the only soul 2 soul connection i feel w another person is thru a kiss or sex when their desire for me is there#only it stays in that moment#im always gonna be lonesome + depressed in this lifetime im afraid
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the myy oc is simultaneously the one to make obnoxious little squeeing noises whenever megumi does literally anything and make tsumiki bring along disposable cameras on vacation because it's the only way to get her to admit what she's *actually* looking at, and the one to literally puke in the bushes or hide against a wall when Satoru does something that gives them secondhand embarrassment
literally the can't take it but can dish it out guardian XD
#like they're good at making sure not to hurt satoru's feelings lol because sometimes he does incredibly cringey things on purpose#and sometimes he just does things and they accidentally don't turn out well haha#megumi just grits his teeth and bears it#i wish i had more time in which to flesh out tsumiki's character and relationship with this oc tbh#i think they're dynamic would be so objectively bizarre#bc tsumiki is a people pleaser who's secretly resentful/dissatisfied#(like people forget she's also an abandoned child. whose mom ran off with effing toji of all people. she absolutely has mommy issues)#vs the myy oc who is attempting to be a recovering people pleaser and is also secretly kind of disappointed in the world lol#so it's the two of them giving each other stepford smiles while also legitimately trying to bond#this is myy oc's opportunity to attempt doing normal people activities and trying to find out of any of them are actually fun XD#with tsumiki who is also trying to find out if any normal people activities are actually fun#and tsumiki probably realizing she has depression one day rip because none of these activities bring her even a spark of joy or curiosity#she's just anxious the whole time because she's silently calculating how much money the outing is costing#even when she knows she won't be paying#and myy oc is anxious because they have no idea if this is the “type of thing girls this age are supposed to do”#the irony is if myy.oc actually took tsumiki to do something a little degenerate/delinquent like take her to a shooting range#she'd have a ball alkjsaf#ooh a rage room and then piano lessons and maybe one of those trampoline/gymnastics places#tsumiki's ideal day she didn't know she needed#io.myy#jjk#fushiguro tsumiki#from the margins
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The only reason I’m still here is because my dog wouldn’t understand if I left her. She’s the only reason I remember how to really smile at all. I might feel like a worthless piece of shit, but as long as she can still play and be silly and seem to want to be around me then maybe it’s still worth waking up tomorrow.
My dog and my two best friends are the only ones who would give a damn if I disappeared. And I can’t hurt them like that.
#tw depressing stuff#mental illness#i just want to be okay#no one knows the smile is fake#even when I tell them#I’m still here because my dog would be sad if I left#that’s enough#i don’t know why i made this
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