#not the same book this has just happened twice recently

[adhd-thirteen]

I love listening to audiobooks and hearing voice actors I know. why are raine whispers and sally grissom here

[wstviewvidal]

baby- w. maximoff

summary: things get said in the moment

pairing: rich!wanda x r

a/n: i wrote this in like two hours

minors do not interact

you give wanda a sideways glance as she coughs into her elbow, burrowed under her blanket, “i told you to wear your jacket on that trip.”

rolling her eyes, she adjusts how she’s laying on the couch, her legs draped over your lap, “it’s germs that get people sick, not the cold,” she mumbles into the blanket that’s covering her face.

“uh huh, and how’s that working out for you?” you tease as you cover her legs with another blanket.

wanda was recently invited to speak about her experience starting a multimillion dollar company at a conference in new york. of course, being the workaholic that she is, she did not think twice about booking a plane ticket out to the upper east side.

unfortunately, being in a cold climate with countless people stuffed into a closed off space only meant it was a matter of time before someone came down with a cold. even more worse, it happened to be wanda— your wanda. the workaholic in her is now paying the price.

and, boy, are you realizing how hardheaded she is when she gets sick.

“you didn’t have to come over, you know,” she says as you can hear the congestion in her voice, “i’m just going to take some medicine and go to sleep.”

wanda can be independent to a fault.

when you’d called her this morning to ask if she’d like to get breakfast, you could immediately hear the stuffiness in her nose. she didn’t even get half way through her response before you bombarded her with questions like, “are you sick?” “did you seriously not wear the clothes i told you to? i helped you pack, wanda,” and, “you don’t even have actual medicine at home, don’t you?”

she tried her best to ease your worries over the phone, but you were at her doorstep no less than an hour later with grocery bags in hand.

you rub her leg as it lays over your own, “i know i didn’t have to, but i wanted to make sure you were taken care of,” you say softly as you watch her burrow into the knitted blanket.

even though wanda preferred to deal with her things on her own, she’d always imagined what it’d be like to have someone to share these experienced with— to be cared for. that was something she’d kept buried deep inside, afraid it was a childish hope.

at the sound of you saying you want to take care of her, she felt her stomach flutter. her lips curled into a bashful smile as she tried her best to hide it. her cheeks turned a dark hue of pink— not from her fever, but from your words.

you didn’t see her reaction, you were too busy watching the show while absentmindedly rubbing her leg in a soothing matter. wanda watched you with a glint in her eye, taking in your gestures.

you turn to look at her, “i’m gonna make you some soup, okay?”

wanda knew it was a losing game to try to stop you, so she nodded and moved her legs to allow you the room to get up.

she laid in the couch, cocooned in blankets while you prepared a dinner for the two of you to eat together.

you walk back after a while with two bowls in hand. you place both on the coffee table in front of the couch.

you move to stand in front of the laying woman, hands on your hips as you assess how her nose is red and her eyes are glossy, “how are you feeling?”

wanda looks up at you with big eyes, shrugging, “the same.”

you nod and help her sit up, “i know, baby, i’m sorry,” you pout softly as you brush away hair from her face. your voice is gentle and warm as crouch in front of her as you fix the blanket she has wrapped around her body.

you touch her so delicately that it makes wanda’s heart swell— then she realizes what you said. she stares up at you with wide eyes, a subtle smile on her face. you called her baby— you’d never called her a petname before. you don’t notice the giddy look on her face, you’re too busy fussing over her comfort on the couch.

wanda wants to say something but the way you’re holding out a spoon for her to eat tells her that you didn’t even realize what you’d said. she stays quiet, but wants nothing more than to hear you say it again.

she takes the spoon from you, “you’re spoiling me,” she murmurs.

you settle beside her on the couch, soup in hand, “you deserve it.”

deep down, wanda would love to tease you for your slip up, but she can’t help but want to keep it to herself.

[prince-liest]

A little bit of celebratory light in the current political climate: I'm working with a local endocrinologist who is versed in gender-affirming care as well as my local LGBTQ+ resource organization to start a quarterly pride clinic that I'm going to run with and staff with the aforementioned endocrinologist. I don't know yet how successful it will be, but we're in a really under-served area and a lot of the local federally qualified health centers are pulling back their gender affirming care offerings due to the recent federal policies so that they can retain their funding, which after speaking to my residency program directer he seems to believe is unlikely to affect us. So I'm going to be working with our program attendings and this endocrinologist to help refer more queer and especially trans patients to myself and one of my seniors who is also really involved in LGBTQ+ health goals for gender-affirming care.

The clinic itself is only going to be quarterly at this time (hopefully monthly in the future) due to the limitations of patient panel sizes and also residency scheduling, but we're hoping that we can also follow these patients in our actual primary clinic, since it will all be in the same building and part of the same system, and the endocrinologist has said she is willing to co-precept these patients (aka. have us forward her the notes and look over them to make sure the care plans are copacetic, as well as get curbsided by us when needed) when we work on hormone therapy in the primary care clinic. I think the main challenge is going to be 1) making sure we have the resources and access to a good multidisciplinary team (main points are mental health resources (gonna ask one of the psych program attendings, he is both openly queer and invested) and infectious disease specialist options that aren't going to result in bad experiences for the patients that we refer that way) and 2) making sure we have appropriate follow-up for patients, which I think on my end is just going to mean me telling our clinic coordinator, "Hey, if it's for this patient panel specifically, you can book me an extra patient per half-day for continuity."

We're also going to be doing internal-ish referral advertising through the LGBTQ+ org, as well as training through the organization and also just through research done by myself and my senior for our co-residents for things like cancer screening guidelines adjusted for risk factors we see in queer people (anal paps, three-site testing, when to screen for breast cancer in trans women, etc, etc). Waiting on my program director to talk to our clinic coordinator to see if there's any way for people to self-refer straight to the pride clinic (probably insurance-dependent) but otherwise it's just...happening.

I think my main wish is that I had more days to directly work with this endocrinology attending to pick her brain. She said she's game for any [redacted weekday] for the clinic once we get things going and I'm on my endocrinology rotation, but I'm mostly working with another endo and only see her twice this month due to her work schedule. She's a great teacher and next time I see her this month I'm going to see if she has time to give me a crash-course on HRT management that will help me synthesize the gender dysphoria treatment clinical practice guidelines I'm reading through from the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism. My PD actually specifically referred a trans patient to us to see that day because he knows I really want more experience with this (and, y'know, she's a great endo doc) so that will be the perfect opportunity.

Anyway! It's a great time to be working on offering more medical resources to LGBTQ patients.

[yumeka-sxf]

I would have included this scan with my recent miscellaneous collab scans post, but I decided it deserves its own post, not just because it's one of the loveliest official Twiyor illustrations I've seen, but also because the story of how I got it is...interesting 😅

This image is from the chara fine graph (which is basically a framed picture) that was included as a preorder bonus for buying the complete season 2 blu-ray set from a shop called Rakuten Books (together with badge pins of the same designs). I briefly mentioned it back in October of last year when season 2 was airing, along with preoder bonuses from other shops like Animate and Amazon. I only wanted to get this one though, so as per my usual process of trying to secure rare SxF goods, I made a note to myself to keep an eye out for when it released. Rakuten, which I believe is the main company for Rakuten Books, has their own proxy buying service, and as the season 2 blu-rays were released, I saw them appearing there. But as noted on their main site, the condition for them to send you the chara fine graph is that you must preorder all of the three season 2 blu-ray discs from them. Once you buy the third one, if they know that you've already bought the others, then they'll send you the preorder bonuses along with it.

I was concerned that if I bought the discs via proxy, they wouldn't know that I bought all three and would cancel my order at the end! I would be devastated if that happened after waiting months and spending all that money on the complete set. I knew people would sell the chara fine graph second-hand as soon as it released, so I decided to wait until then and try to find it on Mercari.

So the months went by and eventually I found out that the final blu-ray volume of season 2 would release on April 17th, 2024. I made a mental note to check Mercari for it then, but unfortunately something else released around that same time...CODE: White in the US, which had its first screening on April 18th. Admittingly, I got distracted by the CODE: White release and had seen it twice by the following weekend. I did do some preliminary searching for the chara fine graph, but not with my usual refined search terms. It wasn't until the 21st that I finally sat down and really started searching for it. And while I did find a few listings, they had already been sold.

I was hopeful that more people would sell it, since it had only been less than a week since release. But I guess I underestimated how popular this chara fine graph was because, after the initial five listings I saw that were sold within the span of a few days, none appeared after. I had, like, ten Mercari tabs open on my browser with different search terms that I refreshed many times a day, but nothing was showing up. I would groan whenever I'd see the preorder bonuses for the other shops like Animate and Amazon pop up, but not Rakuten Books. I did finally see one new listing of someone selling just the badge pins, but that was sold within a few minutes, which made me even more nervous. I would also be nervous getting up in the morning since I didn't want to see that a new listing was posted and sold while I was sleeping! Thankfully I work from home so it wasn't too much of an inconvenience for me to refresh the Mercari tabs on my personal computer whenever I had a minute. But as the days went by and I didn't see any new listings, I started getting mad at myself that if I had only started seriously searching for it right on release day, I would have had at least five chances to get it and could have saved myself this hassle. I even sent a message to Rakuten Books via their online form, asking (in Japanese) if they could somehow sell it to me and ship internationally, etc. But their response was pretty much what I expected...a polite "no."

But then, on the evening of May 4th, I found a new listing and immediately bought it! What should have been a red flag though is that the person was selling it for $30 (with the badge pins included), while everyone else had been selling it from around $80-$100. The title they gave to the item was weird too; they simply called it "Spy Family" instead of "Spy Family Chara Fine Graph" or "Spy Family Rakuten Books Bonus" or something descriptive like that. But the seller had a decent rating so I didn't think there was a problem. After I got the email from Buyee (my proxy service) that they successfully bought the item, I thought I was all set. I closed out all my search tabs and went to bed feeling satisfied.

However, when I got up the next morning, my heart sank when I saw that about an hour after I had gone to bed, Buyee sent me another email saying that they refunded and cancelled my order! The reason they gave was "due to the convenience of the seller" 😫

But what was most frustrating about this is that, when I checked the searches again, I saw that the same seller had relisted the item, with a higher price and more descriptive title, and it had been sold already. What probably happened is that the seller realized they made a mistake with the title and price of the listing and wanted to change it, which Mercari apparently allows them to do even after it had already been sold and paid for!

I was furious with Mercari for allowing this. The least they could do in a situation like this is give the original buyer, like, one day to buy the item again with the increased price before the seller is allowed to relist it again. I wanted to write to the seller and/or Mercari, but I wasn't able to make a Mercari account since it's restricted to Japan. I was also internally yelling at myself that if I had just started searching for it within a day or two of release instead of procrastinating, I could have avoided all this. So it was back to square one, but I wasn't going to give up! I opened up more search tabs with even more refined search terms. I also expanded to other proxy-supported shops like Surugaya and Yahoo Japan Auction. I even got my mom to help me, since she's often up in the middle of the night and can check in case anything is listed during that time while I'm asleep. I downloaded the Buyee app too so I could check listings even if I was away from my computer. With all this, I was hopeful I'd be able to buy it again, though it was more of a question of "when" than "if." With second-hand collectibles, you never know when they could pop up...I could find a new listing the next day, or not for a year or two. But I just kept up the searching, and finally, after another month went by, on June 3rd (June 4th in Japan, so technically Twiyor day 😁) I finally found it again...on Yahoo Japan Auction of all places!

I had never bought via auction before so I was a bit nervous I'd get outbid or something. But I immediately clicked the "pay buyout price option" (which was only a few dollars more than the original price) and, thankfully, a short while later Buyee informed me that I successfully won the auction! But after what happened before, I was still paranoid that it could get canceled for whatever reason. But that didn't happen, and after waiting for shipping, it finally came~

I always like to add a "lessons learned" in these situations, so I'd say the lesson here is don't be blasé or procrastinate when it comes to something you really want. And of course, being persistent pays off more than not!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Can you please go into more detail about what you think has been happening at Sentebale from your professional experience and also from your royal watching experience too? Do you think the same has been happening at SussexRoyal, MWX, Archewell, American Rivera Orchard, As Ever, Travelyst etc.

Sentebale

First, I want to clear up some misinformation and rumors about Sentebale that I'm seeing on other blogs and forums: Sentebale did not receive the majority of its budget from USAID. You can check Sentebale's own annual reporting. The most recent annual report is 2023, in which they reported receiving approximately $213,000 from USAID and the UN. That is not a lot of money. To the federal government, that's like the equivalent of buying a 12-pack of crayons.

The other Sentebale/USAID rumor I've seen is that USAID gave Sentebale $51.4 million. No, that did not happen. USAID gave the country of Lesotho $51.4 million, earmarked for HIV/AIDS, over a period of five years cumulatively. It's possible that Sentebale got some of that money, but they did not get all of that money.

So USAID's foreign assistance getting turned off is likely not the source of Sentebale's current financial crisis. Reading the 2023 annual report, it sounds like most of Sentebale's money is raised from private donors. The NGO assistance from USAID and the UN is a small, insignificant portion of their overall budget.

(Lastly: I don't care what your political stripes are. This is not the post to be linking USAID to fraud and corruption. I will be blocking everyone who talks about that in any reblogs or comments. This is your only warning.)

But all of that said, I feel pretty confident saying that Sentebale does have financial issues of some kind. Look at the 2023 financial statement, which is included in the 2023 annual report:

The TL;DR of this worksheet is that expenditures (money going out) are rising while income (money going in) are declining.

This is not unique to Sentebale. It's a reflection of the economic downturn that many people and countries around the world are struggling with. And in fact, Sentebale's annual report says just this:

In my opinion, declining income means donors aren't giving or they're not giving big bucks anymore. For me, that's a ding on the board and the patrons because they're the ones who do a lot of schmoozing with the donors to raise money. From what I've seen of Harry...well, he plays polo twice a year and that's really all we know about his kind of charity work. I don't think he's courting donors the way he needs to, or should be, and I think that's a systemic problem in his approach to charity work - he and Meghan both seem to be resting on their titles and expecting the money to come rolling in because of that, plus their connection to the BRF.

The annual report also includes a statement on trustee responsibilities, which outlines their duties and responsibilities to Sentebale.

Knowing some of the complaints/concerns that Dr. Chandauka raised in her statement to The Sun, I suspect there's something going on here with their responsibilities as well, probably related to policies and records management. They aren't glamorous areas of responsibility - like when you join a board, you don't think about compliance requirements, you're usually thinking of all the fun, cool stuff you're going to do - so either the compliance work will get the barest minimum of attention or it'll get pushed to the Chair to do.

And that's kind of what I'm feeling is happening: the board isn't doing compliance (or hasn't done compliance well) so Dr. Chandauka has had to step in and now the board is upset because they don't like the way she's doing it and/or the decisions she's making.

SussexRoyal/MWX Foundation

I don't know a whole lot about these two charities. I know that Harry and Meghan intended for SussexRoyal to be their version of the Royal Foundation, but as per one of the books (Finding Freedom? Revenge?), it was incorporated in the wrong way.

There are two ways to incorporate a charitable organization. I'm fuzzy on all of the specific details, but it more or less boils down to one way has less oversight, the other way has more oversight. SussexRoyal was incorporated in the "more oversight" way, while Harry and Meghan wanted it in the "less oversight" way. Why did they want this, I can only guess, and it's because they planned to use the organization not so much for nonprofit charitable work but as a way to reduce their own personal expenses by charging SussexRoyal instead.

All I know about MWX Foundation is that after they were told they can't use "royal" and Meghan had her little hissy fit, they launched MWX Foundation and moved all of the SussexRoyal assets there.

Where the snafu with the Royal Foundation happened is that when the Sussexes left, William and the Royal Foundation gave them a little bit of seed money so they could launch SussexRoyal/MWX Foundation. This is perfectly normal, it happens all the time, but there are certain laws, rules, and regulations to follow. The Charity Commission received a complaint that the transfer of funds was fraudulently done because it was about the brothers' relationship more so than the charitable organizations. (It sounds to me like someone was upset that they donated to the Royal Foundation but the check was cashed by SussexRoyal, which is a legitimate complaint.)

While the commission's investigation cleared the transactions between RF and MWX, the investigation did ding MWX on their documentation and recordkeeping...aka compliance. Their findings specifically said that MWX was spending too much on administration (meaning operating expenses and salaries), that it was concerning how quickly they closed the charity's operations, and the documentation wasn't as complete as it could have been.

Travalyst

So Harry's Travalyst organization was part of the RF/MWX investigation. The seed money that RF gave to MWX was later given to Travalyst.

And what do we know about Travalyst? ... Nothing. They don't put out any kind of annual reports or statements, so it's not really clear what they do, other than something having to do with sustainable travel.

A lot of people have a lot of questions about Travalyst.

For me, I think Travalyst is a way for Harry to get kickbacks from the travel industry in the name of conservation/environmentalism. I truly do believe that a lot of the traveling we see him (and Meghan) do is organized through Travalyst in a way that not only lets them write off all their expenses and taxes to someone else's checkbook, but also allows them to fly private and say they're helping the environment.

Major eyerolls from me here.

Archewell

Tragic name aside, I feel like Archewell was well-intentioned but poorly executed in the way that all things Sussex are. Archewell is/was definitely set up the way Meghan wanted, with as little oversight as possible.

And the thing about Archewell is that a lot of the problems they were dinged on for SussexRoyal/MWX Foundation, those problems followed them to Archewell. They have significant administration costs and their recordkeeping is lax (because they're always late on tax filings).

They do actually have good programming with Archewell, once you look past how odious and insufferable Meghan and Harry are. But the programming gets lost underneath the way the Sussexes use Archewell for self-promotion (which is true about a lot of these celeb-led charities), the downside to which is the assumption (and rumors) that the Sussexes use Archewell for a personal piggy bank, despite the record "showing" they work only one hour a week and don't draw a salary.

Speaking for myself only, my impression of Archewell is like a mafia-run restaurant. You don't actually see anyone in the restaurant (Archewell doesn't actually do anything) but year after year after year, the restaurant still stays open. Someone is bankrolling their operation because they don't seem to make any profit. Plus the fact that it's both a non-profit and a for-profit umbrella...gives me the icks.

ARO/As Ever

We might as well lump these two together because they're the same thing.

And just like with Archewell, the issues from SR/MWX continue to follow Meghan: insufficient documentation and lax recordkeeping, because she can't get her trademark and copyright applications correct.

This isn't a non-profit, it's an entirely for-profit organization selling goods and products, so a lot of the rules that apply to AW/SR/MWX don't apply here. I would not be surprised if there are invisible strings connecting Archewell to As Ever - for instance, maybe Meghan used money from Archewell to launch As Ever, versus her own money.

Invictus Games

I did a deep dive on their financials last year and much of it still remains valid. I don't know much else about Invictus Games as a nonprofit, so this will have to do.

The End

So if we look at the Sussexes' history as leaders of their own charitable organizations...they kinda suck. Because here's what we know:

There was actual evidence of mismanagement from the 2020 Charity Commission investigation pertaining to compliance and recordkeeping.

There are similar issues with documentation and recordkeeping in Archewell and As Ever.

Donations to Sentebale and Invictus Games are going down while expenditures are going up.

Harry is checked out of Invictus Games, showing up only for events (aka the games).

Harry is checked out of Sentebale, showing up only for events (aka polo).

Harry is checked out of Archewell, showing up only for events (aka paid speeches in NYC) - otherwise, it's largely Meghan's charity vehicle.

What even is Travalyst?

And I didn't include African Parks in this round-up, but we also know that Harry is checked out of African Parks and tends to show up only when there's an event.

Yes, that technically is what being a patron means - you lend your starpower to the organization so they can raise money or awareness, but most other patrons are also involved in the work, attending calls and reading reports and actually helping with the fundraising. That isn't what Harry does. He shows up for the bare minimum to collect his fee. That's what the historical record shows. That's what the safe assumption to make is.

So am I surprised that there's strife at Sentebale? No, not at all. Because it seems to follow Harry. He's so checked out otherwise, focusing only on how he can use charity work for attention and PR. He's not going to do anything with compliance. He just wants to collect his check and get content for a PR campaign.

And I think with Sentebale, it's finally caught up to him. It's caught up to him in a way that the African Parks scandal didn't, and I think it's for two reasons: 1) how much more personally affiliated Harry is to Sentebale, which makes him that much more personally responsible, and 2) that Harry has successfully affiliated Diana to Sentebale.

And I would put good money on Harry's accountability having everything to do with his mother's memory. He does not want Diana connected to any negativity or criticism, which honestly is very fair of him. I would also even suggest that the way Harry's PR keeps connecting Sentebale to Diana means he may have been able to use her memory to get whatever he wanted out of the board, and possibly donors too, but either Dr. Chandauka doesn't fall for that or the changes she made/wants to make doesn't leave room for Diana worship/guilt.

But as I've said before, and as I will keep saying, there's a lot we don't know about what's happening at Sentebale so I continue to urge everyone to tread carefully here.

[gratelove]

Hii! I know its been a while since you posted it but i recently stumbled across your Nicky fic and it was soo well written, you capture her so well!!! I read it over and over again. I am so glad to have found it because theres a worrying lack of fanfics for her here. If you don’t mind, would you please consider writing for her again?

Sorry that I’ve been MIA for a while! Ive been writing a book and it’s consuming my life right now! But, here is the fanfic as requested! I hope you enjoy 🧡

I Missed You More

Nicky Nichols x Reader

After getting released from Litchfield, you spiral into addiction and land right back inside—only to face Nicky Nichols, the woman you left behind and never truly stopped wanting. What begins with resentment and unresolved pain erupts into a desperate, heated reunion, where old wounds and buried desire ignite behind the prison walls.

Warnings: cursing, talk of drug use, 18+, sexual content

You didn’t except to come back.

You always told yourself it’d be different this time —that you’d get out and stay out. You’d read the books, sat through the NA meetings, and nodded in all the right places. You made a plan: halfway house, part-time job, find a routine. Get your shit together.

But routine doesn’t pay the bills, and rehab doesn’t prepare you for the silence that crawls in around midnight when no one checks on you anymore. When there’s no one to tell you to eat, sleep, breathe. When freedom doesn’t feel like salvation—it feels like drowning with no lifeguard in sight.

It started slow, as it always does. A little something to take the edge off. A little more to silence the voice in your head telling you you’re worthless. You swore it was temporary. You swore you’d stop.

And then the sirens came.

Now here you are—again.

Litchfield. Round two.

The familiar stench of bleach and institutional failure clings to the walls. The processing officer doesn’t look at you twice when he hands you your uniform. You wonder if he remembers your face from last time.

You do your best to keep your head low, avoid familiar gazes, but someone was bound to see you eventually. It was only a matter of time before she found out you were back.

The voice hit first.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” That familiar, raspy voice cracks through your cube. You flinch, but don’t turn around.

Nicky scoffs. “What was it this time? A needle? A baggie? Or just good old fashioned stupidity?”

You finally turn, heart kicking against your lips as your eyes fall on her. Her arms are crossed, jaw tight, an unlit cigarette dangling from her fingers. Her red hair is longer, but her eyes… they’re still the same. Still beautiful.

You feel her disappointment in your bones and it makes your chest tighten.

“Nice to see you too, Nichols.”

“Cut the shit. You promised me.”

You almost laugh. “I promised a lot of things.”

“Yeah, and you broke every goddamn one of ‘em.”

The silence that follows isn’t awkward. It’s violent. You can feel it between you. All the unspoken words, the held anger.

“Do you enjoy fucking up your life, or is it just, like, a hobby at this point?” she spits, stepping closer. Her eyes narrow. “Be honest. Was it H? Pills? Did you even make it six months?”

“Six and a half,” you mutter.

She laughs without humor. “Well, gold star for effort.”

The truth is, this hurts more than it should. More than it has any right to. Because you and Nicky… you weren’t just something casual. You were each other’s crutch, each other’s craving, each other’s almost.

And for two junkies, it’s the worst fucking relationship there is.

But when you got out, you left her behind without so much as a letter. Not because you didn’t care—because you cared too much. Because if you’d stayed tethered to her, you knew you’d never learn to stand on your own.

She doesn’t see it that way. She never did.

You wanted to be sober. You wanted to get better for her, so you did what you thought you had to do to make that happen. And you failed.

“Just fuck off, alright. I already feel bad enough. I don’t need to hear your shit.”

She runs a hand through her hair, walking to the edge of your cube. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, eyes low. “I know.”

And then she’s gone.

-

A few days pass.

Every time you catch Nicky, she’s watching you. She doesn’t look away. She holds it, challenging you. You always look away first.

Day after day, you do your best to avoid her. You can’t face her. You don’t want to.

But she doesn’t make it easy.

She corners you in the laundry room, voice low so no one else can hear.

“You just gonna pretend I’m not here? Avoid me your whole sentence?” You avert your gaze, sucking in an annoyed breath. “Do you think you’re better than me now? Or are just too ashamed to talk to me?”

“I tried,” you snap. “I fucking tried, Nicky. Every damn day, I tried. And you know what? It was worse than in here. Out there, there’s no fence to blame.”

Her expression cracks and her breath hitches. Her looks like she’s deciding whether to hate you or feel sorry for you.

“You had a chance. A fucking chance. And you blew it.”

“And what would you have done differently?” She steps back, eyes wide. “Don’t act like you’re some fucking saint.”

She gets in your face, so close you can feel her breath hitches your cheeks. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah.” Your gaze scans her features. You take in the smell of her. A luxury you’ve been forced to live without for too long. “Fuck you too.”

She slams her hand against the wall beside your head. “You left like I never meant anything. And now you’re here. I can’t deal with your shit again. I can’t play sponsor. I barely got my own shit together.”

“I’m not asking you to save me, Nicky.”

“No, but now I have to see you every day. After you left with our even saying goodbye. And I hate you.” Hey eyes are glassy. “I hate that you left. I hate that you relapsed. And I fucking hate that I still care about you.”

You blink, but you don’t cry. You used to cry in front of her, back when you thought love meant being vulnerable. Back before you knew how much it could hurt.

“I hate it too,” you say. Her jaw flexes. You can see the way she’s trying not to care. The way she wants to hate you because it’s easier than admitting she never stopped hoping you’d stay clean. That maybe if you stayed clean, it meant she could too. “You always said we were the same,” you murmur.

Nicky chuckles bitterly. “We are. That’s why we’re both back in here, remember?”

You stare at each other for the longest moment. She’s so close. Only a few inches away. She’d be so easy to touch… to kiss. You can’t help but look at her lips. You want to. You want to so fucking bad. And she does too.

But thankfully, she’s stronger than you are at this moment. She pushes off the wall and takes one last look at you before going back to angrily folding her towels.

-

You lean against the chain link fence behind the greenhouse, arms crossed.

You hear the scuff of boots against gravel. The soft rattle of her breath. You don’t turn, but your pulse picks up anyway.

Nicky steps into view, eyes glinting.

“You following me now?” She mutters

You glance over. “Didn’t know you owner the fence line.”

She snorts and pulls something from her sleeve. A cigarette. Fuck, you could use a cigarette.

She taps it against her thumb, then lights it with a flick from a smuggled match. The flame burns bright, catching the gold in her hair for a moment.

She takes a long drag, holds it, then exhales like she’s been underwater all day.

“Want some?” she asks, holding it out.

You hesitate.

But not long.

Your fingers brush when you take it. You bring it to your lips and inhale. It burns in that familiar way—like punishment and comfort all at once.

Nicky leans her shoulder against the fence, facing you now. Her eyes scan your face, lingering a little too long on your mouth.

“You know, I’ve thought about this moment.” You glance at her, raising a brow. “How I’d yell at you if you ever got back in, if you relapsed. How I’d tell you to fuck off, or… I don’t know. Kiss you.”

She laughs quietly, but there’s no humor in it. Just that aching truth that lives between addicts—between you.

You pass the cigarette back, and she takes it. Her hands shake slightly, but she hides it with practiced ease.

“I didn’t stay clean,” you whisper.

She nods slowly. “Yeah, no shit.” There’s a beat of silence. “Neither did I.��

You watch the smoke curl between you, how it dances before disappearing. You wonder if that’s all the two of you are—just smoke and memory. Nothing solid. Nothing that stays.

Then she looks at you—really looks at you.

“I missed you,” she murmurs.

Your throat tightens. “I missed you too.”

Something shifts.

It’s not dramatic. It’s not sudden. It’s just… quiet.

The way she leans in, just a little. The way her fingers brush your wrist when she passes the cigarette back again. The way your eyes flick to her mouth, then away.

And then back.

She watches you the whole time.

“You gonna kiss me, or just stare at my mouth all night?” she asks, voice hoarse.

You don’t answer at first, just step closer. Your hand curls gently in her jacket.

“Is that really a good idea?” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, holding back a smile.

“Fuck no,” she breathes. “But when the fuck has that ever mattered.” She laugh and so does she. The sound is rich and you hold onto it. You forgot how much you missed it.

Then, you kiss her. Your lips meet and you swear it’s the only thing keeping you upright. Your finger curl tighter in her coat, pulling her into you. The kiss turns hungry.

The cigarette drops, forgotten, snuffled out beneath her boot.

She pulls you, and turns, walking you back until you hit the greenhouse wall. Her hands brace either side of your head. Her body slots against yours like muscle memory. Like she never forgot.

Nicky’s breath ghosts against your mouth, her eyes flickering between yours, searching. For permission.

And you give it to her—wordlessly, in the way your hand slides up the back of her neck and into her hair. In the way your mouth finds hers again.

She groans into the kiss, like it’s the first exhale after holding her breath for too long.

Your fingers slide under her shirt. Her skin is warm.

Her mouth finds the hollow of your collarbone, and she lingers there, teeth grazing just enough to make your breath hitch.

She pulls your waistband down just far enough. Her breath hitches when you gasp. You bite your lip to keep from crying out.

When her fingers find you, slick and hot and already trembling, your breath stutters. Your hips twitch involuntarily, grinding into her palm like your body remembers the rhythm before your mind catches up.

“Good to see you still get soaked for me.”

Your forehead falls against hers. You squeeze your eyes shut.

It’s too much and not enough.

Her other hand clutches your thigh, steadying you as her fingers begin to move—slow at first, circling, teasing, dragging pleasure through you in long, unbearable strokes. You cry out softly, biting your lip to muffle it, but she catches the sound with her mouth, drinking it in like she’s starving.

Your breath comes in sharp bursts, each one echoing against the wall. Your whole body feels stretched thin, like you’re fraying at the edges. Pressure coils in your belly, hot and bright, curling tighter with every pass of her fingers. Your thighs shake.

You arch against her, helpless.

She picks up her pace, thumb finding you clit. Your fingers dig into her should, hand fisting her hair.

“Fuck, Nicky.” You moan, head falling back.

“Fuck. I missed the way you whimper.” Her tongue runs up your neck and breaks into a kiss along your jaw.

You cling to her, your body trembling now, hips starting to roll against her hand without thinking.

“Yeah, just like that, baby.”

She pushes deeper, her fingers curling just right—pressing into that sweet, aching spot that makes your body clench and your eyes blur. Your thighs tremble as the pleasure builds, fast and overwhelming. Your nails dig into her shoulder as she works you faster, harder.

“I’m gonna cum.” You moan in her ear, taking her lobe between your teeth. She groans at the sensation.

“Cum, baby.” And you do.

Your orgasm hits like a wave breaking, crashing over you with violent heat. You cry out, clutching her like she’s the only thing keeping you upright. Your legs give way, and she catches you—eases you down, pulling you onto her lap as your body pulses and quakes with aftershocks.

You collapse into her chest, gasping, your heartbeat thundering in your ears.

She’s quiet for a moment, her cheek pressed to your hair, her hand still possessive around your waist.

Then, softly:

“I missed you so fucking much.” You take in her sweet brown eyes, then brush your lips against hers.

“I missed you more.”

[jimblejamblewritings]

starlight moonlight sunlight — blurb one

Series Summary: Remus has a choice to make: his new boyfriend Sirius or his recently no longer ex girlfriend, Y/N. But when Y/N's world begins crumbling, Remus wants to be there for her. So he makes a decision... Continue dating his boyfriend behind his girlfriend's back.

Blurb Title: Reconnecting on the Train

Pairing: ex!Remus x reader, Remus x Sirius, eventual poly!Wolfstar x reader

Warnings: none

blurb series navigation here

1. Reconnecting on the Train

You sat up as the train pulled into King’s Cross Station. This school year was going to be good, hopefully. You had already taken your NEWTs last year because what else did you have to do in a safehouse but study? So all you had to do was relax this year. You looked out the window, coming face to face with a very tall, plus size redhead and next to her, an equally tall blonde with a bob. They did charades to try and ask if anyone else was in your compartment or the one right next to yours. You weren’t even finished shaking your head before they booked it.

They breathed out sighs of relief as they plopped down on the seats before disappearing the wall between the two compartments so you were one big room. The train benches were arranged to be in a square formation with an opening for the door. 

The blonde with the spiky bob stuck out a hand. “Marlene McKinnon. 7th year.” 

“Y/N L/N. 7th year also.” 

A gasp echoed out. On the other side of James, Sirius froze up. His hand held on tighter to the taller boy next to him. He brought Remus’ hand to his lips, kissing it gently. How dare you show up here of all places? He was the main one to spend countless nights comforting the man when you left him. He had been the one to help put everything back together again and you were coming back to ruin it. 

You felt the train bench shake a little bit as one of the boys on the bench with golden brown hai— “Remus?” 

“Y/N?” 

James went wide-eyed. “Wait, that Y/N…” 

You both dug through your bags, pulling out polaroids sent years ago. Remus had to be sure. You held them up to each other’s faces for comparison. He looked different in only a year. The two of you were definitely the same people in your photos though. You were confused when his expression hardened at confirming it was you. 

“What are you doing here? You stopped writing. For months.” 

“I’m so sorry, babe.” 

Sirius laughed from behind Remus. “That’s it. I’m sorry?”  

You blinked twice, a bit taken aback by the hostility from his friends. “I’ve been a bit busy.” 

“Busy? So the rest of us just don’t have jack shit in our lives?” 

Fiddling with your hands a bit, you sighed. “Remus, can I talk to you alone?” 

“I’m sorry but until I get answers, you have to understand that it’s a little hard for me to just go anywhere with you.” 

“I’m a refugee. The MACUSA sent every new-maj into hiding because of Voldemort. Our schools grabbed us and our families in the middle of the night. We weren’t allowed to contact anyone outside. My family was rushed here because they got attacked. I’ve been separated from everyone else for their safety.” 

“Y/N, are you okay? Are they okay?” Remus’ face softened. 

His chest tightened as you shook your head. Honestly, you’d been putting on a brave face, telling him as much. You wanted to be a rock and a calming presence for your family during this time. And over the months, you’ve made peace with everything that’s happened. You understand it but you don’t feel like you’ve had a chance to be emotional about it. Remus jumped to his feet and pulled you into a hug when the tears started to fall. He rested his head against yours and rocked you back and forth. 

“I wanted to write to you. I’m sorry.”

“Shhh, it’s alright.” 

“I only found out two weeks ago that the UK was taking us in so I just decided to surprise you.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was that bad. Your letters before never…” 

“I know. I tried to keep everything positive for you. I’m sorry if I made you worried.” 

“Stop apologizing. It’s alright. You’re here now. Safe… Y/N, do you want to go to the observation car, calm down a little? No one’s really in there, I promise. I’ll come get you in a moment, okay?” 

You smiled. That’s what you loved about your boyfriend. He was understanding and patient about the lack of letters. You nodded and handed him your stuff. He pointed out the observation car and waited for you to leave his sight before closing the carriage door. 

Remus groaned. “I’m such a shit boyfriend.” 

Sirius adamantly shook his head, offended that he would dare suggest that. “You didn’t know. I can’t believe she still thinks you’d be together after she left without a word.” 

“Sirius.” 

“He’s kind of right,” Regulus spoke up. “If I had disappeared for months, how could I possibly expect my partner to not move on?” 

“She’s just not like that. We’ve talked about her friends’ relationships before.” 

“That seems selfish.” 

A lot of the train agreed.

Peter opened up his can of Fizzing Whizbee. “Just break up with her… again.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Why? Do you still love her?” 

“No,” Remus answered without hesitation. “Feelings are long gone.” 

“Then why not?” 

“Y/N is fragile right now. Our relationship is her only stability. I feel like if I break up with her right now, it’ll shatter her.” 

“I’m not leaving you,” Sirius said. “I know we haven’t announced ourselves to the school yet but this relationship means something to me. This might sound awful but I don’t care. I don’t care what she’s been through enough to leave you. I had to pick up your heart when she wasn’t there. She can’t just take you from me.” 

“I don’t want to leave you either… Just let me make sure she’s on her feet then we’ll be over. Okay, love?” 

“How long?” 

“When we start the second semester? Is that okay with you?” 

Sirius thought about it for a considerable time. “Fine. Nothing can stop me from kissing you in broom closets, though.” 

Mary put away her crossword puzzles to grab a book instead. “You do know that she’ll want to be our friend, right?” 

Remus nodded. “I’m not saying to not be friends with her. She’ll fit right in here, I know it. I’d like to be friends with her if we can split amicably. Just don’t tell her about Sirius and I, let us break up naturally.” 

“Can do.” 

“Thank you… Love, do you have any rules for me?” 

Sirius thought for a moment. “Can you try not to be intimate with her? Just never initiate it. Kisses are fine, I expect that. You can even flirt. I won’t think anything of it. It’ll be like you and Lily or Mary. But no large gestures. And no calling her love or starshine or sweetheart. Those are my pet names, she’ll have to find her own.”  

The rest of the train ride wasn’t sat in uncomfortable silence but social conversation. You put your headphones back in and pulled out the crochet project you were working on. Your boyfriend looked over at you, tapping your ankle incessantly until you finally looked up and took out your earbuds. 

“Yeah, babe?” 

“Do you want anything from the trolley?” 

“Um, no, I’m good. I’m on a tight budget for now. I’ll just get another water.” You looked down in betrayal when your stomach grumbled.

“Here.” Sirius handed you a to-go bowl filled to the brim with salad. He gave Remus a sandwich filled with basically just meat. A favorite near the full moon. 

“Thank you,” you said with such kindness that he wanted to roll his eyes. You leaned into your boyfriend to exaggerate a whisper. “Your friends are really nice.” 

The train finally stopped at the Hogsmeade Station. You were beginning to buzz with excitement as you sat under the Sorting Hat. Your uniform changed from gray and white to splashes of red and gold as you made your way to a clapping table. A note plopped into your lap halfway through late lunch/early dinner. 

Back to School Party: 1st-4th year in Gryffindor Common Room. 5th-7th in Slytherin. 

When dinner ended, you didn’t want to follow the first years so you went with your train buddies that were in Gryffindor, trusting that you’d eventually find your room.  

“Oh.” 

Marlene and Mary turned to you. “What is it?” 

“My key has the number eleven on it too.” 

The girls ushered you into their, now your, dorm room. The other girls looked at each other as you unpacked in less than fifteen minutes. It was kind of sad and brought them to the reality that while they were worried about Voldemort and war, some people were already living it. 

You sat down on your bed. “So, what do you normally wear for parties?” 

“I don’t know about Ilvermorny but it’s about dressing hot.” 

You looked at your wardrobe. “How long do I have?”

| next blurb here |

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[therealbarombunny]

Y'all hear me out. Babysitter pre canon Dan Heng.

Like just imagine when Dan Heng was still in the shackling prison and Jing Yuan is still new to the whole “single adopted dad” thing, and he's just struggling with taking care of a baby in general. Since, the only thing he's taken care that was young was a lion kit/cub.

So, he just has to endure the restless nights due to this infant he just adopted off the street bawling and crying it's whole soul out and he has no idea why. Like, he's fed it, he's burped said child, he's seen if there needs to be a diaper change... Basically, he's done everything in the book and still can't get baby Yanqing to go to bed.

So, one night, he just decided he was done and goes down to the shackling prison to either see if Jingliu (yes, I headcanon Jingliu to be in the prison as the same time as Dan Heng. Shut up.) or any sort of previous and/or recent mother can help him out with this child; who he can't get to stop crying.

And while Jing Yuan is down in the prison, he then he's someone complaining about how loud baby Yanqing is and “How I am supposed to get sleep now?”

And this just sets the general off even more to where he just snaps at them and is basically like, “Oh well, pardon fucking me! If you think this child is sOoOo loud, then why don't you try getting him to sleep?” Which then leads to Jing Yuan walking to the cell of a now agitated and sleep deprived Dan Heng, who takes him up on his offer.

Now, Jing Yuan is hesitant to actually give up his baby to a man who is not only a reincarnate of one of his friends, who just so happened to be a serial war criminal, but also a man he's only interacted with about once or twice. But, he ends up giving in anyways. Which then leads to Dan Heng holding Yanqing, and Yanqing falling asleep within literally nanoseconds. Which, shocks Jing Yuan to his core.

But whatever, at least Yanqing is fast asleep and now he can put him back to bed and get some rest himself, right? Wrong. Anytime he tried to take Yanqing away from this man, the crying will just start all over again.

So, he basically just decides out of sheer annoyance and sleep deprivedness to just bring this random anorexic Vidyadharian twink into his home. Mainly so he and Yanqing can actually sleep, this then turns into a nightly cycle. Until Jing Yuan needs to leave for work, which then turns into a daily cycle until Dan Heng's release from the shackling prison.

[baronessblixen]

Fictober Day 29: Cow-incidences

Prompt: "How did this happen?"

For the anon who asked: If you still have enough days left can you do a fic where somehow you can place in this quote “naming your cow Hamburger is crazy. It’s like if you named your fish Sushi.” Rating: T, wc: 964

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober24

Being attacked by a cow even once is, statistically speaking, highly unlikely. Having it happen twice? Next to impossible. And yet, here’s Mulder in a cow-related accident for the second time in as many years.

Unlike last time, the cow is fine. Mulder, however, is less so. The details are hazy and Mulder can’t verify them yet. From what the police told Scully, Mulder was in his car and a cow appeared in the road, he braked, hit his head and the cow wandered off.

It sounds as fantastical as aliens invading the earth.

But she’s his emergency contact and so here she is at the hospital by his side, waiting for him to wake up. The doctors have assured her that apart from a bad concussion, he’s fine. It could have been worse.

How often has she heard this? It could have been worse. He could have died. Mulder doesn’t just have a patient file here, they have a whole book on him. Not that her own file is much smaller.

What were you thinking? She thinks staring at him. They put a bandage around his forehead where he hit his head on the steering wheel. At least – and the lesion on his chest proves it – he was wearing his seat belt. How many head injuries can he sustain until his brain shuts off? A concussion is nothing to worry about – usually.

With Mulder’s history and the still fairly recent head surgery earlier this year, she can’t help but worry. But that’s nothing new, is it? She always worries about Mulder. It never mattered if she knew him a day, a year, or almost a whole decade. Whether he’s her partner, her friend, or her almost lover, her heart will miss a beat every time he’s hurt.

“How did this happen?” she murmurs, touching the bandage on his head. “Can you wake up, please, and tell me?” She smiles, thinking about Mulder reiterating his story, making it sound like fun and not like a life-or-death situation. He’s good at that.

“Hmm?” His eyes are still closed, but she sees them flutter and her heart does the same.

“Mulder?” she asks, waiting for him to fully wake up.

“Where are we?” he rasps and she pours him a glass of water, waiting for him to be awake enough to help him have a sip. His eyes are small and his pupils dilated. She should have checked what medication they’ve given him.

“Hospital,” she says. “You had an accident.” He nods and winces, the slight movement seemingly too painful.

“Do you remember what happened?” She doesn’t want to pressure him; she just wants to know how much damage the concussion has caused.

“Cow,” he says. “There was a… cow.”

“A cow. Are you sure?”

“Naming your cow Hamburger is crazy. It’s like if you named your fish Sushi. Scully, should I name my fish sushi?”

“What are you talking about?” It’s worse than she thought. He’s confused – very much so.

“That cow.” He looks at her and she can barely see the green of his eyes because his pupils are that big. That leaves only one conclusion: he’s as high as a kite. No wonder he’s talking about cows named Hamburger.

“What about that cow?” she asks softly.

“Don’t tell anyone,” he says, leaning closer to her. “I think- I think her owner wanted that cow to murder me. No. No, wait. He wanted me to kill the cow. Why else would you name your cow Hamburger? That poor creature. Remember the cow in Kroner, Scully? Do you think I’m cursed?”

“You’re not cursed,” she assures him, smoothing his hair. The way he looks up at her breaks her heart. She wishes she knew what was going on in that head of his. All she can do is hope that it won’t last long. That he’ll wake up later today or tomorrow and that his mind is clear.

“I killed two cows, Scully.”

“You didn’t. The cow is fine.”

“Hamburger is fine?” His face lights up. Scully doesn’t know why he thinks Hamburger is the cow’s name, but she nods slowly, smiling at him. Once this is over, and he is back to normal, they will need to discuss what happened. And why he was driving a country road all on his own in the middle of the night. There’s time for that later.

“This could have ended badly.” The words tumble from her mouth, the last few hours catching up with her.

“No hamburger for a while,” Mulder says. She feels tears prick her eyes; she wants her Mulder. She wants him to smile at her, and say it’s all right. He just stares blankly at her as though he weren’t there.

“No hamburger for a while,” she agrees, trying to make the situation lighter. “Why don’t you sleep a bit more, hm? You have a concussion.”

“Headache, yeah.” He closes his eyes, only to pop them open again after a few minutes. It could be wishful thinking, but she thinks they look clearer already; the dark clouds moving away, making way for his brilliant mind to shine through.

“Will you stay?” he asks, his voice deep and gravelly.

“Of course I’ll stay,” she assures him, taking his hand in hers. “I’ll be here when you wake up again.”

“Love you, Scully. If I know one thing, it’s that.” He closes his eyes again and in no time at all, his breath has evened out. She allows a few tears to fall, never letting go of his hand. His declaration is loud in her mind, playing like a favorite record.

“Love you, too,” she whispers, wondering if one day they’ll finally say these words when neither of them is lying in a hospital bed.

[freuleinanna]

wake up honey dropping a doctor who theory here. bear with me, i'm not just crying over 14 and donna, i think it actually holds!!

so, bi-generation. okay. 15 popping out in his therapized glory. so basically, i don't think he just pushed all trauma to 14 and moved on. 15 is actually post-14. meaning, he has lived that life at the same time as he continued living his own life.

remember 13 looked into Time and got split into three? yeah, that. she was in three places simultaneously. her consciousness was, at least. what can't 14, what that recent knowledge, subconsciously do the same? he's just experienced that, and he's still running on regeneration jiuce. worth mentioning, the dude (gender neutral) had a piss with Time his whole life. looking into Vortex, diving into Time itself... the doctor is not disintegrating per se, but can, as proven, survive being split. why not let one part of him live longer?

so he does. he finds home in donna and her family. he's doing whatever the hell. squinting over sci fi books, getting whupped for accidentally buying non-vegan milk for rose ("you said the orange cartbox with stripes!!!" "A STRIPE! WITH A STRIPE! CAN'T TIME LORDS COUNT, YOU DUMBO?!").

having the most difficult heart-to-hearts with his best friend, finally telling her about his companions, the master, the flux. crying, grieving, healing.

looking up at a spaceship torpedoing into the ground and saying "that's a future me problem", dealing cards to donna because it's poker night. and donna is a bit surprised, how easily he let that go, and he just smiles, and holds her hand, and kisses her knuckles gently. and it's alright. "there'll be time for that," he says.

and then they both grow old. and 14 ages. and i don't know if donna dies first or not, it's unimportant. maybe the night she dies it happens. 14 grieves, and cries some more, and says goodbyes. he calls his favorite niece, and when all is said and done, he's ready.

only he isn't about to die, because his essence has to reunite. this part of him has been away for a very long time, and it was the happiest time ever, but he has to be restored. just like 13 had to collect shards of herself back into one, so does 14.

the very particles of his being are reuniting, and it feels like spreading, or travelling, and his silly poetic mind is pleased with the sensation... only to feel regeneration coming full tide, and suddenly he's back on the roof, looking at himself.

"no way!" "will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?!"

but the thing is, he didn't get split at that moment like we think. he got back together. bi-generation. two regenerations happened at the same time, looped one into another. 14 regenerated twice.

and now, now he watches himself exhausted and broken, and he can let himself go. he can sincerely say that it's going to be alright, because he knows it is. donna is right there. she'll take him home.

and he can continue on his way.

[twst-megane]

So I recently just finished Book 5 and I need y’all to know Vil is like my top fav even before starting book 1 and I just ended up loving him more even now and how so much care and knowledge was written to create such a layered and complex character

I’m not that good in gathering my thoughts into posts like this but I just wanted to share my thoughts cuz I genuinely love the writing in Book 5 as of now :3

BOOK 5 SPOILERS KINDA

1. Envy

The baseline that drove to Vil into overblot. How his desire to play the hero and be on stage longer, his inner envy towards Neige, it accumulated so much from childhood till now and to the point of almost potentially killing Neige but I personally don’t think it was the main reason for his OB

2. Reflection

I’m going off by the official ENG translation but I really love his line before overblotting, “Don’t look at me with those eyes”

He knew what he was going to do if Rook hadn’t stopped him and he immediately regretted it, he became the role he detested for all those years and he hated himself even more for it, he couldn’t forgive himself, which I feel is the real reason he OB compared to a simple jealousy buildup over the years and wanting to be the best. I really like this route more as someone with intrusive thoughts during my worst, it’s a horrible feeling when you realised the horrible things you thought of and the thought of acting it.

3. Loneliness

The higher your power, the lonelier you become.

I feel like this can be said for like every housewarden but I’ve rarely seen ppl talk about this aspect regarding Vil. He couldn’t star in hero roles because he was TOO perfect and beautiful that an average person couldn’t relate, it’s the complete opposite to the rest of the housewardens where they were lonely due to being inferior/intimidating which is an interesting thing to spin the loneliness part onto Vil really well.

He didn’t even appear to have any close friends since childhood, I don’t think he’d consider Jack or Neige to be his close friends but more like at a distance due to how far Vil is in most things. But I don’t think loneliness is the main point of his overall character or trauma but it’s an interesting aspect to consider especially when fitting with the rest of the housewardens.

4. Jamil and Vil Parallels

It’s really funny Jamil shares almost the exact same thoughts as Vil and it brings me back to my second point considering both Jamil and Vil have someone they consider to be superior than them being the most pure and kindhearted person (Kalim and Neige). It’s even more interesting Kalim was the one that escalated the OB and not Jamil from the previous pattern of OB characters escalating the next char into OB. Book 5 expanded a lot on Kalim as a character and he never makes the same mistake twice once he learns which is why it was heartwarming he saw the same eyes Jamil made in Vil’s and tries to stop him.

Bonus :

Rook constantly being the observer in the background and always watching out for Vil really warms my heart, even if its for the good, he always thinks the good for Vil specifically. He saved Neige but only cuz he knows Vil isn’t that sort of person. He cares so much about him he’s so sweet.

I really love love love how they touched on how being an actor can make you be perceived. As a kid you’re very impressionable towards specifically live action actors playing a certain character because your brain would find it hard to find a separation between actor and character and could even paint one as a villain in real life. It has happened before and it’s still a thing now so I really love they added this in even if Vil doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it but it minimally added a little fuel to the fire on why he hated the roles as a villain.

Anyway I really love Vil as a character I can dissect him forever nobody can make me hate him I love him so much 😭😭😭

[rotthepoet]

hiii,

as someone who only recently started poking their nose into this, help i am so confused T-T do you have like a slythering boys 101 or something i am so lost on them and their personalities q-q

- 🦆 anon (it/its) (<- if that‘s still free)

O H M Y G O D S

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME FOR A FULL RUN DOWN EHEHEHEHHWHEHE THANK YOU

okay so essentially the Slytherin boys consist of about 5-7 boys. Draco Malfoy(canon), Blaise Zabini(Canon), Theodore Nott(canon character, will explain), Mattheo Riddle(Fanmade), Lorenzo Berkshire(Fanmade), Tom Riddle(the third. Fanmade, not the dead one), and Regulus Black(Fanmade, again not the dead one)

You’ll typically see Draco, Blaise, Mattheo, Lorenzo, and Theodore being written about, but its not hard to find Tom Riddle and Regulus Black content either.

So like? Who are these people?? How did they come to be??

We already know Blaise and Draco, they frequent both the books and movies so i’m not going to spend a lot time talking about them.

Draco is just about canon Draco. I can’t think of anything that really changes about him in the fandom.

Blaise has a lot less book/screen time than Draco so a lot of people have taken it upon themselves to characterize him. I see him as a very posh, haughty, quiet person. I think he’s at least half Italian even if he doesnt speak the language, but that differs person to person.

Okay here’s where it gets a bit complicated so stay with me(if you need clarification on anything PLEASE feel free to dm me or send in another ask <3)

Theodore Nott

Mentioned in the books maybe twice, all we know is he’s a slytherin pureblood with some h e a v y ties to Voldemort. Because we have so little information on Theodore, all of it’s basically made up.

Basic information:

He’s fancasted as Lorenzo Zurzolo, and Theodore himself is Italian and completely fluent in the language. You’ll mostly see clips of him from the show Baby(netflix)

Most people agree that his mom is dead, but i’ve seen some fics where shes alive and just ill, and i’ve seen fics where shes alive and just absent. I characterize Theo as a total mamas boy, but again its up to the author.

His dad seems to be abusive or neglectful. Again, death eater dad who is pretty much besties with Voldemort. Daddy issues

I characterize him as best friends with Mattheo Riddle(explain later) because of their family ties, but they truly get along.

He’s an avid smoker with a pension for ciggies, but i’ve also seem him characterized a few times as the Hogwarts plug which i think is SO fun.

He’s this really quiet, observant, yet flirtatious character. He’s a ladies man but still a heart breaker. Everyone wants to sleep with Nott, and thats okay.

Mattheo Ridde

Mattheo comes from a draco x reader fanfic called Possesive by yasmineamaro. I think you can still find it on Wattpad. He’s completely fanmade.

Basic Information:

He’s fancasted by Benjamin Wadsworth, and you’ll mostly see clips of him from the show Deadly Class

He’s the son of Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange, and depending on if the author believes in Tom Riddle the Third, Mattheo is the second child.

Again, Avid smoker, also I see him as a heavy drinker. Type of guy to come into class reeking of pot and act like nothing happened.

Fights galore man. Imagine having the dark lord as your dad, no doubt he was fuckin traumatized as a child. Imagine Ominis Gaunt from Hogwarts Legacy, the Guants were FUCKED UP(Gaunts actually became the riddles so this tracks) and often used unforgivables on their own children for discipline. Cant imagine Voldemort wouldnt do the same.

He is angry, he is mean, he is actually really funny and sweet once you talk to him(can we tell i have a favorite?) but getting through that hard outer shell sucks.

Also depicted as a major playboy.

Tom Riddle(the Third)

Oh boy. No idea where he came from, and tbh I see him WAY less often than anyone else. Its really a 50/50 if the author follows him being… real.

Basic information

Okay i don’t really write for Tom so.. bear with me here.

He’s casted as… just Tom Riddle from the Movies. Its just him. I think Tom Riddle second actually got a new fancast but… i dont really care :P

Heir to the Dark Lord, oldest child(again, when he exists, so don’t be surprised to see single child Matty)

Really just copy/paste book tom riddle into a new, young character.

He’s scary asf, academic weapon, also a ladies man but will drop them IMMEDIATELY after he fucks em

Idk what else to say here tbh? Maybe someone else can explain Tom better 😫

Lorenzo Berkshire

No clue how this fucker came to be, I fucking HATE him. Fanmade and BITCHY. JK just got corrected he’s from a draco x oc on wattpad called Filthy by babynaomi

Basic Information:

Fancasted by Louis Partridge, you’ll most likely see clips from Enola Holmes.

Bastard son of Mr. Berkshire and Bellatrix Lestrange which relates him to the Riddles.

I see Lorenzo being this bestie little trio with Theo and Mattheo. But Matt and Theo are way more likely to hang out with eachother than alone with him.

Suppeeeeeeer bitchy. Someone had a DR scenario where he would fuck everygirl he could, write their name down in a little black book, and each girl was worth different points based on blood status.

This guy sucks fr.

Actually some people characterize him as really sweet and fluffy.

I am not one of those people.

Regulus Black

No ideas where this guy came from. He’s literally just dead regulus copy and pasted into an alive, younger regulus. Supposedly the child of Sirius Black and some random woman?

Basic Information

He’s fancasted as Timothee Chalamet, so is dead regulus, its really confusing.

I dont write for him. Really, I dont know what to tell you

I’ve seen him portrayed as an artist?? Erm… again, i really dont know

Sorry pookie 😫

But!! This is fanfiction! And you can make uo all your own information for these guys because theyre not real!! Thats like.. the essential run down i suppose?? If youre confused about anything just let me know 🥰 really, it looks all intimidating but these characters are super easy to understand. Try poking around tiktok for POVS, silly as they are(dont @ me i read them too😫) theyre really helpful for understanding personalities. I remember being super confused when i first found em too.

[thenightshadowqueen]

What are your top 5 (or top 7) favorite media ever (can be anime/manga, tv series, books, movies, games, etc)? Why love them? Thanks ⭐

Thank you for the ask! I love lists. Also, sorry for the delay in answering; it’s been a week.

(Also I’m going to assume that YouTube videos count for the sake of this list; if they don’t, let me know and I can redo the list.)

5. Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (book and movie)

This isn’t one of my four core fandoms, but I genuinely really love it. I think the book was better, but the movie adaptation was really good! It’s definitely one of the better adaptations I’ve seen. I think the main reason I love it is because I genuinely really like the characters (which is rare for me). Alex and Henry both have flaws, which I think is super important, and their dynamic has so much potential and is played out so gorgeously in their story.

4. Vicious by V. E. Schwab (book)

This is my second favourite book, but it lives rent-free in my head in a way that no other characters ever have. I relate so deeply to Victor, and I’m so fundamentally intrigued by Victor and Eli’s dynamic. I’ve made a fair few posts about that, so I think I might leave it here for the sake of not repeating myself, but just… yeah.

3. All of Our Demise by Amanda Foody and C. L. Herman (book)

This is the second book in the duology, and it is my favourite book of all time. I love the first book, but the second one??? Gavin and Alastair are my babies, and I adore them individually and together with all my heart. I remember thinking they had chemistry in the first book, but Alastair was with Isobel, so I didn’t think it would happen… and then I read book two. And I don’t think I’ll ever be over how fucking delighted I was. I think that specific feeling of not being queerbaited is part of why this book has stuck with me, but it’s also just so genuinely fun to read. I love this book so much.

2. BBC Merlin (TV)

This has been my favourite show since I was twelve years old, and I am not changing that now. (Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason I love it so much is because of the person who recommended it to me, but we don’t have time to get into all of that.) Look, I’m not saying that Merlin was the best show ever made, but I genuinely enjoy it so much. (And that’s not just me; everyone I’ve ever introduced it to has loved it.) Honestly, for me, a lot of it comes down to the characters again: Merlin and Arthur, obviously, but also Morgana, and I’m so intrigued by Mordred’s storyline, and the side characters are great, and I could just go on and on. But seriously, it’s my comfort show, and I just enjoy watching it so much.

1. Shoot from the Hip videos (YouTube)

Honestly, I spend so much of my day watching these men that it’s a little concerning. (In my defence, my chronic illness means that I have a whole lot of time.) The thing is, there have, historically, been very few things that genuinely make me laugh. And they manage it every time. I just genuinely really enjoy watching their videos, and I get so invested in their stories, too, because their characters are so well developed (especially considering they’re making it all up on the spot). Also, not to get all serious, but they’ve genuinely been so good for my mental health. I’d been struggling since I got ill (I’m doing somewhat better now), and finding the boys genuinely saved my life, and I’ll leave it there to avoid getting depressing, but… yeah.

Also, I got a second ask more recently that was the same thing, so I’m just going to consider this the answer to both instead of typing this all out twice. I hope that’s all right!

[kylieswift31]

Are you not entertained?!

Looking back it's clear that Taylor Swift knew she would be involved with Travis Kelce, the Chiefs and their football games long before their relationship started. This allowed her time to plan and leave a trail of breadcrumbs along the way so that looking back it felt like an invisible string tying them both together.

Just like a broken clock is right twice a day, leaving a plethora of Easter eggs increases the feeling that they were meant to be together all along for anyone that choose not to see past the facade of Taylor™. Many of the connections are simple and obvious, such as the number 87, the combination of red and yellow and football themed references. Others are more of a shot in the dark but have a bigger payoff if they end up foreshadowing something really specific years in advance.

To understand how Taylor has been able to plan so far in advance we shouldn't be looking backwards at what has happened in the past, instead we should put ourselves in Taylor's shoes to consider the steps she would take knowing what was to come in the future. This would begin with researching the topic and learning about the history of football and sport in general. "I want to tell a sports story because I had just watched the last dance." In the folklore long pond studio sessions Taylor and Aaron Dessner discuss the reasons behind why they created the song 'epiphany'. Watching movies and reading books that feature sports stars is a great place to start looking for inspiration to gauge what the public is familiar with.

The next step would be to pick out specific references to hint at in interviews, outfits and social media posts. These take a little more effort to pull off but mostly relate to future projects Taylor has already planned out. The Easter egging begins to reach mastermind status when the foreshadowing links to events outside of Taylor's immediate control. The most recent example of this is the new Pepsi commercial inspired by Gladiator that ends with Travis saying "Are you not entertained?!" This is the same Gladiator quote that Taylor referenced in the Time person of the year interview that she did late last year. It's possible she knew about this commercial ahead of time before her interview.

This is a recreation of the Pepsi commercial that was made in 2000 featuring Britney Spears, Beyonce and P!nk. They were dressed as scantily clad warriors singing a cover of Queen's 'we will rock you' while being attacked by lions. The remake features Megan Thee Stallion singing the same song as Travis and his teammates are being attacked by tigers. This is an interesting choice of predator considering they end up locking one of the tigers in a cage. We've seen many tiger references in Taylor's work including the fearless tiger stripe outfit and the "way to go tiger" lyrics in 'Peter". If we consider what Taylor would have been inspired by as she was planning ahead, the original version of this commercial would have been a perfect example of female sportsmanship displayed in a male dominated industry.

Just like the eye of the storm can trick you into thinking the storm is over, the end of the international leg of the eras tour wasn't the end of Taylor's story. This new commercial is just like the second half of the Truman show when the camera zooms out to reveal the dome Truman has been living in. Everything we're seeing during this break feels jarring after being so focused on the details of the eras tour each night. This is intentional, allowing us room to zoom out to see the bigger picture and the role the director has been playing all along to script the narrative. And even though Taylor isn’t visibly associated with this commercial, it feels like a connection to her story when she’s selling out the same stadiums all by herself over and over again.

All of these connections between Taylor and Travis feel synchronistic in hindsight, yet are logical connections if you're planning ahead of time regardless of the motivation behind it. If you believe they're in love it will seem like fate or a coincidence that they both used the same quote. If you believe Pepsi and the NFL are using Taylor to increase their sales then you will see how they reused her quote to gain attention. If you believe Taylor contributed her ideas to benefit her PR relationship then you will see that she used the quote to foreshadow the new commercial. And if you believe this is all a part of the performance art you will see that it's another piece of the bigger story being told. Either way it creates yet another connection between Taylor and three of the most powerful and successful pop stars of our generation.

After all, are you not entertained?

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

[twinsarekeepers]

do you genuinely think people who draw/write book annabeth are racist?

This could be a disingenuous ask but okay, I’ll bite and answer honestly.

First of all, “book” Annabeth can be black. That is how I see her and have seen her even before the show casting was announced. A lot of people reading the books now see Annabeth as Leah. Everyone has a different interpretation of Annabeth’s physical characteristics in the books and to try and say “book” Annabeth is synonymous with “white” Annabeth is wrong.

(And no you cannot use the book description or official art as an excuse. Rick is awful with consistent physical descriptions. Multiple characters have changed hair color and eye color throughout the series. The official art has literally been changed twice. The recent book had no physical descriptions of the characters and was literally dedicated to Walker, Leah, and Aryan. Rick has also said that when writing the characters now, he sees those three kids as them. This is not me defending Rick, because he’s still a coward that plays both sides of this, but if you want to say the book character is white then that is simply wrong now. She, at the very least, is ambiguous enough for everyone to choose what she looks like. There is no definitive “book” Annabeth now.)

“Book” Annabeth and “TV” Annabeth are the same character. There are no significant personality or backstory changes between the book and the show character that can justify separating the two of them like that. The only reason people are separating them is because they want to hold onto to the white version of the character. (I know there’s going to be stupid people with no media literacy who don’t know how adaptations work in my mentions “explaining” the differences, but no. The show has done a very good job at taking the character on the page and finding ways that are suitable for the screen to depict the same characteristics).

Before y’all say that people do this with TV Percy and book Percy too: it did not start that way. “Book” and “TV” Annabeth began when the show was in production, before anyone could even see how the show would handle Annabeth’s character. When some of us pointed that out, people started trying to separate “book” Percy and “TV” Percy. It was literally a tactic to hide their racist intentions. (And again, there are not enough differences between the book and tv show character to justify this separation, especially when this started happening BEFORE the show even released to the public).

So that’s a little context to how this separation even started. I know what y’all are going to say. “But just because it started as racist, doesn’t mean it’s racist now!” And to that I say, sure, but that’s not the case here.

White Annabeth fanart has been consistently used to hate on Leah, a real girl. We all know how much Leah has been getting harassed and bullied for her role as Annabeth and when her casting was announced, people used fanart to discredit her. Artists who continued to draw white Annabeth refused to monitor their comments and they were filled with people hating on Leah’s casting. Not only that, but artists who started drawing Annabeth as black would get hateful messages and comments as well. Accounts were going as far to take fanart of Leah’s Annabeth and whitewashing it (and then putting it in the leahisourannabeth tag). This is still happening today. You can find comments under fanart of Walker and Leah’s percabeth saying “I prefer the originals” or “the originals are better”. That’s very obviously racism.

For this reason, we started saying to stop drawing and writing white Annabeth. It’s being used in a direct and tangible way to harass a real young girl. If enough people in the fandom refuse to engage with white Annabeth then the hate will significantly decrease. There are the obvious excuses to this: “people will be racist no matter what so what’s the point of even trying?” That’s not true. Racists are cowards, especially people who harass children. They are emboldened only by others. If they see people continuing to support the separation between the book and show characters, and drawing white Annabeth fanart, they’re going to DO racist things like get Leah’s account banned on tiktok.

And this is where the active racism occurs. People know that this harassment is happening and that the fanart that they produce is going to be used to harass Leah. Instead of deciding that they’ll do their part to lessen that harassment, no matter how small that is, they decide that engaging with white Annabeth fanart is more important. They can say that they condemn what’s happening to Leah and that it’s not their responsibility what people do with their fanart, but that still makes the action racist.

Y’all say that you condemn what’s happening to Leah, but then when given the tools to help lessen it, you refuse to do it. All because you want to hold on to a white version of a character. You spend more time defending that choice than going into your own mentions and deleting any and every comment that may become hostile to the kids, especially Leah. That is racism.

[genericpuff]

I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING EISNERS-

i've been finding lately that there are so many topics i still wanna talk about concerning LO and its development and they just don't happen because i get distracted or busy and my brain is like "ok we're just gonna pretend we've already talked about it even though we haven't" JFKDLSAJFDASKLFJSLKA

Let's talk about the Eisners and LO's recent 'win'.

I've already briefly mentioned in previous posts that LO has had a lot of its awards and accolades bought for it. This is especially true for both the NYT Bestseller label (seriously, none of those labels are ever earned, it's not some top 100 list that you compete on, it goes to whoever is willing to pay for it or whoever an editorial column wants to highlight) and, of course, the Eisner Award, which is not exactly an award judged by the industry's finest (the judges this year were made up of largely comic book shop owners and librarians).

But we're not here to talk about that. I wanna talk about what happened after LO won its second Eisner.

First off, the fact that it can be nominated at all when it doesn't even really fit the criteria for their submissions is sketchy at best:

see: "new, professionally produced long-form original comics work posted online in 2022." LO is not 'new'. Sure, it has new episodes, but I don't think that really follows the spirit of what they meant by 'new'. The Eisner doesn't seem like an award that should be granted to the same series twice, is my point, and that's one of the many complaints brought up in the absolute dressing down that LO got in its announcement post on the Webtoons Official IG page.

Of course, you can see for yourself right here.

But for the sake of fun, let's share some of the excerpts here.

(and yes I'm sharing a LOT of these because frankly I don't trust WT to not delete them in an attempt to hide all the shit that's being thrown at their precious "baby")

While names have been censored to protect the users involve, I will say one thing - this isn't some attempt from antiLO/ULO members to brigade the series' win, there are other comic creators in this discussion as well from the Canvas section who aren't pleased with seeing LO win another Eisner when there are multiple new series from this past year alone which deserve more attention than they're getting. Again, see for yourself if you click on the link above, the vast majority of comments on this post are expressing their disappointment and you can tell from how they've been sitting at the top while all the positive comments are being 'pushed' to the bottom - the like counts say it all.

All of this, paired with the fact that LO didn't win a SINGLE user-voted award during the Webtoonies, goes to show that the Webtoons audience is over LO. They're done with it. It's not relevant anymore, the only ones who still keep up with it are the stans and those holding on in the hopes that the story gets around to resolving the SA plotline and gets its TV show (which I've also mentioned has a real possibility of not happening, at least not now when it would count the most LMAO)

It still gets more likes than any other series on the platform (for now) but you can tell during its current hiatus that when LO is out of sight, it's out of people's minds - despite many of these episodes now being weeks old, their like counts aren't going up, no new readers are being pulled in. And the fact that a series with over 6 million subscribers can barely scratch 100k likes nowadays is... really something.

And that's on its free to read episodes, it's FP episodes - where views count the most because it's where LO makes its money and initial views - aren't even a fraction of what the free episodes often take well over a week to gain at this point.

Episode 252:

And the midseason finale, 253:

Compare it to Down to Earth which gets 70k likes on average on its free episodes (though its current new FP is sitting at the 1k mark), is LO still bringing in higher numbers than other series? Yes. But it's clearly falling to a point where it's going to be on par with every other comic on the platform in no time. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like after it comes back from this poorly-timed hiatus, when all of its official fan groups have also been shuttered preventing people from staying in touch within their own fandom.

Awards like the Webtoonies are, while largely just for street cred, still audience-based, and I really hope the fact that the people have spoken not once, but twice through their engagement with the platform - both through the comment section on LO's Eisner win and the votes in favor of other series in the Webtoonies - will be a major wake-up call to WT that they can't keep trying the same things over and over again expecting different results. They can't keep stuffing money into LO as if advertising or awards are the reason LO isn't pulling in the numbers it used to. They can't keep pretending that LO still has the merit and credibility that it once had 5 years ago.

It's like that comparison from Super Eyepatch Wolf talking about why you shouldn't take advice on how to be "successful" from Youtubers who got famous 5+ years ago:

"Say you decide you want to become a carpenter, and particularly, how to build a nice chair. Think about the kind of person you'd want to learn that skill from. Would it be from someone who has built nice chairs every day for 20 years? Or would it be the guy who built one nice chair five years ago out of a special kind of wood that doesn't exist anymore, who has no experience with the kind of wood available to you now?"

LO is a byproduct of a version of Webtoons that no longer exists. It was fortunate enough to join the Canvas section when the Canvas section was still only lightly populated, before WT started trying to sell the idea that anyone could become "rich" on their platform (an idea largely perpetuated by creators LIKE RACHEL who only became big because WT threw all of their money at them), before Greek myth comics became commonplace (again, something that's a consequence of Rachel/Lore Olympus) and before the romance genre became largely filled with problematic "dark" romances (again, see Lore Olympus).

Do you see the pattern of what I'm talking about here? A lot of what Webtoons became known for was a byproduct of Lore Olympus and series like it, because those series did phenomenally well, due to being in the right place at the right time, so WT went "hey, cool, this makes us lots of money! Let's do more of that!" Obviously this isn't to say that Lore Olympus is the root of all evil here OR that it didn't have its own merit back in the day, but if you make a series that blows every other series out of the water in stats, it's only natural for a company to want to pursue more series and story tropes like it in the hopes that it'll replicate exactly what comics like LO did, completely misunderstanding why LO did well in the first place. At the time, LO's art was unique for the platform, and it was tackling a story that was extremely popular on platforms like Tumblr so it naturally gained a crowd.

But that was five years ago. Since then, the WT audience climate has changed dramatically, as it always does every few years; and LO and WT haven't kept up. We went through a phase of BL, isekai, and now WT seems to be in an odd limbo because it's still clinging to a series from three whole lifetimes ago, especially now with so many of its other signature series either finally ending (True Beauty) or walking away from the platform entirely (Let's Play).

At this point, Lore Olympus is a chair that was nice five years ago, but has since started to fall apart - its paint is chipping, and its legs don't stand up so well anymore - and WT is still trying to sell it you as the exact same chair - with cheap new paint and a few bits and bobs attached to try and convince you that the chair is new - but it's long past its prime. This isn't to say that the chair itself doesn't deserve to exist, just that it shouldn't be given so much proprietary advertising and attention when there are so many other works on the platform that deserve to be uplifted and seen.

LO was good for its era, it was successful for a reason, but we're halfway through 2023 and it's painfully obvious that the comic and the platform's audience is ready to move on to new territories. Webtoons just needs to learn to let go.