#not sure what to do about that i dont have anyone to talk to

[sugarphoric]

jjk suguru, satoru, choso, toji (but can be read w anyone)

gn!reader, slight angst?, established relationship, fluff?, sfw :D

when you pull the "ignoring your boyfriend" prank on them, you dont expect much, knowing how respectful and understanding he could be.

even before you guys have been together, the two of you were always stuck to each other's hips, only getting worse as your relationship developed into something more. knowing how much of a clingy, needy boyfriend you have, youve got cameras planted everywhere, making sure to get as many angles as possible XD

when he come home, youre not even acknowledging their presence, already breaking your normal routine determined to make this work. and, of course, hes like a dog, immediately seeking you out to give you a bear hug, keeping their arms wrapped around you for at least a minute, peppering your face with kisses and "i missed you's"

noticing your lack of welcome, they think its due to tour headphones placed around your ears. maybe you didnt hear the door they assume, before making their way over to you- until you swiftly move right underneath their grasp, walking over to the kitchen where tonights dinner was softly simmering on the stove.

... oookay. maybe youre just really tired and out of it! they follow your steps, endless praises falling out of their mouths about how pretty you look, how great dinner smells (and how grateful they are for you to do this), expressing how much theyve missed you, et cetera et cetera. youre already breaking a sweat from forcing yourself to keep a poker face, pushing that stupid smile down before your plans are foiled. but with each step you take forward, its inevitable, youre slowly trapping yourself between him and the counter, unable to move away from his (much awaited, much needed) hug.

so? you do the next best thing. when you feel his arms come close to your side, you slightly shake, groaning out fake annoyance.

what? its a two-second rebooting, their brain racking through everything that happened within the last month on anything he couldve done to upset you. coming with nothing, he thinks he was just making things up, going in again to finally have you safe in his arms.

and now its not funny anymore when you pull that stunt on him again. his hands immediately falling to his sides, hurt flashing on his face mixed with embarrassment. his eyes, frantic as he searching your back, racking his brain on anything, anything- but everythings been good. was it his work schedule- his work? or maybe the way he sleeps, or maybe his morning routine? fuck, did he forget to kiss you goodbye before he left- no he definitely gave more than one kiss goodbye.

.. was it him?

you dont know how much longer you can last, already aching from being "so mean" to him. taking off your headphones and placing them on the countertop, giggles were about to leave your lips before you hear endless amounts of apologies, "what did i do wrong's", and "sugar, please talk to me's". deciding to hold on a bit longer, you hear a shaky, almost incoherent "please?". you stiffen- youve never heard him have this tone before. and he caught that slight movement, giving him just a sliver of confidence (knowing that youre listening to him) to ask "are you mad at me?"

if you werent on the edge before, now youre really on the edge now, gifting him with a slight shake of your head. just as you were about to toss in your white flag, he beats you to it-

"then why wont you let me touch you?"

the hoarse drift, the hitch in his voice, the oh-so-quiet, insecure tone dropping so low due to fear, desperation, need.

you immediately turn around, meeting glossy eyes, a tight pinch in his eyebrows, lips red from his harsh bites.

"oh, baby..." you manage to console. as the words tumble out of your mouth, youre lifting your arms ever so slightly, and thats enough for him to throw himself at you, keeping you in a hug so tight it could break ribs. your feet are completely off the ground, his head deep into the side of your neck, inhaling deep breaths of your hair, your perfume, your scent.

youre hugging him equally (or at least trying to) as strong, and hearing his soft whimpers and an even softer "why?"- having a death like julius caesar would hurt less than the immense guilt striking your heart.

you can barely bring yourself to tell him it was all for a prank, a trend that was blowing up on social media. he gruffs out his discontent, pulling you closer to him (if that even was possible). now its your turn spilling endless praises to him, expressively sharing how horrible (and loved) you felt when he was being so kind when all you could do was ignore him. youre already promising him to never pull this on him again (to that hes nodding vehemently), pairing it with sweet kisses to his neck, his ears, whispering your own sets of apologies, "i love you's" and "i miss you's".

after ten whole minutes of being in the air, he finally sets you down, visibly more happy and almost back to his regular self, if not for the tiniest bit of wistfulness laced in his face. (turns out it was because he had to let you go ᐢ. ֑ .ᐢ).

and if he demands you to sit on his lap as you eat dinner together, if he has you piggy back him as he does the dishes (you begged him to do it tonight as punishment, but then that would be another slot of time where he doesnt have your attention), if he makes you shower together, get ready for bed together (like you usually do (but you usually dont brush each others teeth, wash each others face, etc etc)) and practically lays on top of you as you both start to drift off to sleep... i mean,

who can really blame him? :D

[rhineztonepearlz]

Test answers

Professor! Aaron Hotchner x Student! F Reader SMUT

Warnings: Age gap (Reader is 20, Aaron is 35), choking, spanking, over the desk, hand over mouth, professor x student, p in v, teasing, edging, seducing, NO Y/N, pet name: darling, baby, mentions of past intercourse (when reader was of age, dont mind 'intercourse' i didnt know what to say dafuq), cunnilingus, blowjob, hand job (sort of?)

Reader has been out partying all night, instead of studying for her test. She gets an F on her test, so she decides to go talk to her hot professor about it. She had done it in the past, and he gave in. But this time, he won't do it without putting up a fight.

The bell rang, and the students pack up. All except for me. I wait until everyone is out of the classroom before I grab my test, and I walk over to his desk. He looks up at me, his usual stoic expression still on his face. I hand him my paper. "What's this?" I ask him.

"Your test." He answers coldly. I scoff, putting my hands on my hips and sitting on my left butt. "It says I got an F! Why is that?" He gives me a 'are you serious' look, and answers. "Because you got 3 out of 20 questions right. Next time maybe study, and then you'll actually pass."

"I did study! C'mon, just pass me. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Just like last year." I say, leaning in close to him over the desk. He clears his throat, keeping his stoic expression plastered on his face. "Last year was a mistake. I shouldn't have passed you just because of what we did. I was fresh out of a divorce, and I was pent up and lonely."

I frown, but I'm not ready to give up just yet. I smirk, walking behind the desk, unbuttoning the top of my shirt, showing off my cleavage. "Oh come on, don't be like that. Please? I promise I won't tell anyone."

"That's what you said last year. Yes, you didn't tell anyone, but I also said that it would never happen again. So it's never happening again. Like I said, it was a mistake. It was unprofessional of me. I could've lost my job." He says coldly once again.

"I could've lost my scholarship. Which is why I made sure nobody knew. And I'll make sure of that again, if you just let me. Remember how my lips felt on you?" I say, slowly unbuttoning the rest of my top.

He takes a sharp breath, and he sighs. "Yes- God yes I remember. And button your top back up. Anyone could walk past and see!"

"I'm facing away from the door! Nobody will see! Come onnn. Don't be such a party pooper. Remember how I felt on you? Remember when you had my nipples in your mouth? Mmm. Pretty please?" I say, feigning innocence. I grab his hand and put it on my right breast.

"I do remember, I remember everything. God. Go lock the door. Now." He says in his hot voice. I smile and I go over to the door, locking it and closing the blinds. I walk closer to him, unbuttoning my shirt fully and taking it off. He runs his hands up and down my waist and his, kissing my collarbone. I laugh softly, running my hands through his hair. I look at him and kiss him, and he returns it.

He starts to undo his belt, taking it off. I unzip and unbutton his pants, reaching my hand into his boxers. My hand finds his already hard cock. I smirk and take it out of his pants, stroking it once or twice. He groans and sits down in his chair and I kneel in front of him. I kiss the tip, before licking it. He groans again, gripping the arms of the chair tightly until his knuckles turn white. I spit of it before stroking it again, and a bead of precum spills out. I laugh and lick it off, before taking his cock in my mouth. I stroke the inches that i can't fit in my mouth. I bob my head up and down it, and he lets out low moans, his hand making its way to my hair. He balls his fist, tangling his fingers in my hair, guiding me up and down his shaft. I moan on it, the vibrations making him shiver. He holds me there for a second, cumming in my mouth.

He holds his moan back, and pulls my head away. I laugh up at him, feigning innocence in my eyes. His eyes soften for a second before he pulls me up, pushing the paperwork off of his desk, causing them to fall on the floor. He makes my sit on the desk, spreading my legs wide with his hands. He peels my underwear off, and runs his finger over my slit. I moan, and he smirks. "So wet, huh, darling?" I moan once again at his pet name.

He rubs my clit, and i buck my hips. He takes his free hand, and holds me down by my stomach. He puts his face between my thighs, and licks at my clit as if he hadn't eaten in days. I cover my mouth, moaning. He pushes his tongue into me, eating me out. I throw my head back, moaning. His thumb rubs my clit, adding to my pleasure. He moves his thumb, moving his tongue to my clit and flicking it. I gaspo and arch my back, and I cum. He places his tongue under my entrance, eating the cum. I moan at the sight, and he flips me over.

He bends my over the desk and slaps my ass, making me yelp, but he quickly covers my mouth. "Don't be so loud, darling. You don't want anyone to hear, right?" He whispers in my ear. I shake my head, shivering. He smirks and places the tip of his thick cock at my entrance. "Ready, baby?" I quickly nod, and he plunges his girth into me. My eyes widen, and i arch my back, grabbing the edge of the desk.

He waits a few seconds to let me adjust, and then he starts pounding into me. I moan through his hand, not caring about if someone hears. He smacks my ass, before grabbing my neck. "Didn't I just tell you to be quiet? Huh? Answer me!" He says, slapping my ass a couple of times, pounding into me still.

"Y... Yes! Y- did! 'M sorry!" He smiles and slows down, taking his hand off my throat. He rubs the hand prints on my ass, soothing the sting. He goes slow, but still rough. I moan every time he thrusts into me. He reaches his hand under me, rubbing my clip as he picks up the pace. I choke back a moan, biting my lip. He presses kisses to my shoulder blade, whispering in my ear. "You take it so well, baby. you feel so good. Do I feel good, hm? This big cock thrusting into your tight pussy?"

I nod, and he smacks my ass, not as hard, but enough for it to sting. "Words, sweetheart." I moan, and I nod, answering. "Yeah! S... So good! Mmh!"

He takes another deep thrust, before I cum, squeezing him. He pulls out, cumming on my clit. We both moan in sync, before he helps me clean up, putting his belt and dressing himself back up. I dress myself up and well, fixing myself.

He opens a locked drawer, and gives me a sheet of paper. "Here, this has all of the answers. Make sure to get two or three answers wrong so its not so obvious. Return it to me by tomorrow so that I could put your grade in."

[ganondoodle]

(oh hey, we didnt have a long rant in a while, this wasnt supposed to be so long, as per usual with me ... i looked up some refs of the botw sonau ruins since i wanted to see how to combine its design to my sonau design in my totk rewrite- and this happened ... in case this sounds too angry or aggressive, its not meant like that, im not imploding about it, its just frustrating and annoying to me)

i have a problem with pretty much every inch of totk, and theres lots of big problems, and lots of things i find absolutely bafflingly stupid decisions-

one bafflingly weird and stupid decision to me, though there are way more important ones, is the nigh complete seperation from botw sonau (zonai) design aesthetic and totk sonau design aesthetic- its so .. weird and utterly unecessary it will never stop bothering me, its one that has relatively little impact in development but huge impact on the believability of the world

you have these ancient ruins of long gone people (that imo should have stayed a mystery, since that sense of lost history you cannot grasp makes both the world more believable and real feeling and will never let you stop thinking about, if you care about that kind of stuff at least- but i talked about that in length before im sure), but whats left leaves you still with a pretty clear design aesthetic, at least in the buildings that remain (the armor less so bc it really doesnt look like anythign ancient and just doesnt really fit together)

and then you make a game around them- but ... completely redesign their aesthetic .... in a rather big contrast too, for literally NO reason, there is not a single reason to do that, not even the excuse of trying to seperate the two games in their core aesthetic (like in the case of the shiekah- though that too is stupid bc ITS A DIRECT SEQUEL- IF YOU DONT WANT TO MAKE MORE OF THAT DESIGN THEME or leave it in for that matter THATS CORE TO THE PREVIOUS GAME DONT MAKE IT A DIRECT SEQUEL YOU DUM-) can do any work here, the botw sonau ruins werent many, it was background stuff, it wasnt a main theme and it didnt carry any importance in the game itself

like, botw sonau architecture was dark stone with red highlights (a color that usually fades rather quickly, imagine how strong it had to be once, maybe it was even more colorful at some point), bird, boar and dragon carvings, torches in bird shape, alot of swirls and round patterns among the blockier rough shapes, its was pretty detailed with patterns and pictures all over it --

totk sonau? blendingly white stone, all blocky shapes like unfinished blender models, not a swirl to be found, green hologram lights (or cold white light, i dont think there are any totk sonau torches, just those weird candle things- most light sources are lamps in impeccable shape all giving off that cold white light) and gold blocky script, theres rarely alot of detail on them, the pattern most often present beign a scale pattern ... one which i dont remember appearing anywhere on the botw sonau ruins in that way/that often, the only animal motif is a dragon head every now and then and it honestly feels tacked on, like they scrambled to try and connect the two in any way shape or form, white gold and green, theres nothing red anywhere, they neither connect to the botw sonau architecture nor to the one armor set- or its description, totk sonau have nothing to do with the phirone (faron) region (aside from that one quest that could have been placed anywhere), they are weirdly modern and techy, theres nothing "barbaric", not even their clothes are in any way connected (im so sick of all that gold tbh) even their magic isnt really .. magical, it all feels like science fiction type tech stuff (even though they said they wanted it to feel magical, couldnt be further from that tbh) the design of their magic symbols dont line up with their own building aesthetic or anyone elses even, its so messy

if you do the quest to get the fith sage its even more apparent- its the direct contrast between botw and totk sonau, its like a cut into a mod, theres no overlap, you cant argue that its bc the botw ruins where exposed to the elements and thats why the color differs- the totk sonau ruins left to rot both in the underground and in the literal sky are all just as if not more exposed, yet they all remain in rather good shape, all keeping the white and often completely colorless look, most damage being just some clumps of mold (?) or something having fallen over, and if they were protected so their color didnt change? wheres the red? the colors all should be in pristine shape then but its not bc there is no color

their excuse of "uuuh the hylians build those things in honor of the sonau!!" they tried to give doesnt work, like all other excuses, if they did why the hell does it look so different? sonau stuff was all over the place, you have the blueprints right there, WHY even build it? in those regions nonetheless that were of pretty little importance as far as we know, if this were the case they should be on the forgotten plateau or around hyrule castle but they are not- ALSO if the hylians built them for them .. so after they died out .. why then is there some weird mechanism with their actual aesthetic there in the ones in phirone? if they built it while they were still there ... why make it look so different?? ADDITIONALLY hyrules style of architecture is closer to the totk sonau one than the botw sonau so you cant even say it was influenced by their own style bc botws sonau is more different than both of them

it also adds to the .. feeling of something being off about the entire game (like it felt to me even shortly after starting to play), while i dont want to touch on the stupidness of how they handled totk shrines since thats another long rant i already did before, the sudden appearance of totk sonau style stuff literally everywhere (and the disappearance of anything not plot relevant shiekah bc it just went poof according to interviews and neither that nonsensical excuse nor anything in the game making sense- bc in the end they just wanted it gone and didnt care) would seem LESS weird if it was in the style of botw sonau, you know that style, its been here the whole time and more of it appearing would seem much less jarring, even if it doing so in completely non sensical ways- it would at least lessen that weirdness

i do not get why you would do that, did your designers have nothing to do so you made them make an entirely new aesthetic? did you not want your holy perfectly goodest god king to be anything but the most clean and kingly looking so you didnt even go for the barbaric idea from botw?(which i am not a fan of either) bc of course someone supposed to fill the role of perfect example of how to be good king of holy hyrule to zelda couldnt look "primitive"? was that given to the ancient hylians instead? with their designs going, to me, rather close to a mix of native american and ancient greek aesthetic (uh oh)- to contrast them to your superior alien that brought the idiots on earth technology since we didnt have enough tired tropes in here already? thought that design theme was more sellable? simply didnt care? (tbh, most likely in my eyes given the carelesness of the game to connect in any way to botw, much less in a meaningful one)

(those where written like questions but i dont expect anyone to answers for, it just sounds better)

[findafight]

Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.

Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.

Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!

[floralovebot]

i know there are only like five of us but i feel like garth stans really don't talk enough about how left out he feels with the titans. dick and wally are Best Friends. donna and roy are on and off again. dick and donna are too much to explain. on average, roy is close with at least one of dick's siblings. dick donna and wally all go on to be in the new teen titans. garth isn't Close with any other titans but the originals

and it's this thing where,,, it's not his Fault yknow? he's not mean or spiteful or creepy or anything that would warrant them not liking him as much. he joins in on their jokes, he risks his life, he shares his feelings, he does everything that he knows friends do. but just the virtue of him being atlantean and them being land dwellers ruins everything. he Can't spend more time with them, he doesn't understand their culture, he will always choose atlantis.

they'll always be his friends but he can never truly be with them or form deeper bonds. he'll always be the last one to know what's going on, the last one they call, a complete shadow and afterthought.

and sure there's a part of him that knows this, that feels bitter and lonely. but he can't even be that mad at them because he does the same thing. the titans are never his first thought, he never calls them first, he doesn't reach out and ask if they're okay, they're always the last ones to know what happened to him. the titans are such a huge part of his life but they're barely in it.

there's just something so inherently lonely about garth that i feel most dc writers don't understand. they just don't get it. they don't get what it's like for this boy who was all alone, never had parents or a family, suddenly being taken in and having to act like he knows how to be a son, a friend, a partner. meeting kids his own age and wanting to bond with them so bad, having to watch as they all get closer to each other and leave him behind, not being able to do anything about it. never being taken seriously, always the last choice... garth man.....

[two-entire-bits]

I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.

[puppppppppy]

AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY

[xxplastic-cubexx]

BIRTHDAY HAUL courtesy of a very lovely friend of mine 🥺

bonus goofy pics of a bday snack i had earlier with my favorite menace …..

[oneroomjestershow]

inspired by these memes about next year (im still on 2024 help) i want to show this AU i have been thinking since month ago in the sidelines

[glauces-notebooks]

rewatching night at the museum for the first time in a while and wow. i missed this film.

[ducktracy]

reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)

if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop

[pocketramblr]

Au where quirks exist ever since the beginning of humanity but thought the last 200 years they started becoming rarer for no explainable reason

"for no explainable reason"? Not "because someone born two hundred years ago started eating them all"? Well, both can be true I suppose

1- humans have always had quirks so just go ahead and disabuse yourself of the idea that world history looks anything like ours now. Any boundaries humans have drawn between themselves or their spaces are totally different. Anyway, our story is set on the island nation of Akitsuba, which has begun to receive reports of children who are born without quirks- it seems impossible, but apparently the child born in Canton Province to two glowing parents but had no light himself was not the result of an affair. He is genetically both his parents child - just, without any unique plus alpha factor at all.

2- when the news breaks, Setsuji looks over at his twin brother. The two stay in a group home, and on the record, they have a spike quirk, just like their mother did before she died at their birth. In truth, Setsuji can take others quirks. He assumes he took his brother's in infancy, which why the boy can't use them, but now he wonders if his brother was in fact simply born without. He doesn't say anything, but his brother does- whispering it at night, apologizing for assuming his brother took it all this years ago and refused to even try to return it, but there's simply nothing to return, is there?

3- more people are born quirkless over time, and more people lose their quirk to AfO over time. Ujiko theorizes that quirks would get too strong, so both quirklessness and AfO are evolutions to prevent plus alpha self destruction. That is, sadly, a generous view- quirklessness is largely viewed as a horrible strange disability, and suddenly quirks become more important. Few people before had jobs that specifically used their quirks, but now no one wants to be mistaken for not having one. Many people campaign to treat and 'fix' quirklessness, trying to force activate one, study and prevent it, etc. Just go ahead and assume all the terrible things that can happen with this mindset, it all happened.

4- by the time of canon, however, quirklessness has been around for two hundred years, and it isn't going away- clearly the opposite. about half the population of the world has no quirk, and the number's hanging around 45% in Akitsuba when our main character, Akatani Mikumo is born. He's quirkless, and lives in the capitol of Higakyou, as schools there are required by law now to no longer require certain or any quirks. It's an election year, so his first semester of high school all anyone can do is talk about the candidates- especially Yagi Toshinori, a bit of a symbol for quirkless politicians and one people thought would run years ago. Mikumo, who helped Yagi carry groceries home one day and didn't recognize him outside of the bright suit, camera lights, and makeup, makes friends with a few kids at school. (Ochako, and the twins Tokoyami Fumikage and Kuroei- while the latter has a quirk, the former does not).

5- Then one day, Yagi is kidnapped, vanishing on live tv through a smokey warp. Mikumo doesn't know what to think about that, until he runs into the man on his way home from school- clearly in bad shape, with strange dark eyes that glow with some quirk he shouldn't have. Mikumo helps Yagi hide, and asks what happens, and how he can help. (AfO decided to end Yagi's use as a symbol by forcing a quirk on him and controlling him, but one of his brother's successors managed to break Yagi out first and give him his brother's quirk, allowing him to fight against AfO's quirk and withstand them safely. As for what Mikumo can do to help... he's done far more than he should already, a kind boy, but that answer isn't going to be good enough for him- he's determined to do more anyway.)

[yamikawaii]

theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

[ganondoodle]

actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road

it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too

i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats

i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain

cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo

(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)

[hikarry]

Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:

I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment

I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month

To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin

How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself

I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart

So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead

[gaoau]

smth smth uhhh tsurune character analysis time wsg

i've never done this before in my life and i shouldn't even be doing it cause that's crazy tf BUT hi :blush: i'm Kisaragi Nanao's number one fan and hater simultaneously and i need to talk about it. chances are none of this will make the slightest bit of sense, cause thinking about his brain for more than five minutes usually has me going around in circles like a headless chicken. its been almost a year and i have not been able to stop thinking about him, not even in my most trying times so i might as well do the one thing i'm good at and write each and every single one of my thoughts down so the void can eat them all up. my friends are tired of hearing me talk about this so now its your turn, people in the tsurune but more specifically the Nanao tag on tumblr dot com. i'll try to avoid the Kaito talk as much as i can cause i wanna make this solely about Nanao, but i also understand that a lot of their character development goes hand in hand with one another, so it's sort of inevitable

to be completely honest, i wanted to be a Ryohei girlie so bad, i would've even settled for Seiya. i just knew the moment Nanao pulled up and was presented as the flirty annoying playboy, i wouldn't like him. i said it with my whole chest, firmly believing i would find absolutely no reason anywhere in his character to enjoy him. motherfucker i have never been more wrong in my life. at first glance, it doesn't even look like there's much to talk about, cause he doesn't do a whole lot in the first season. except he does. there's only snippets of depth in his character that exist, but he does not let show in order to watch over everyone around him. his introduction is loud and frivolous, especially with one of his first spoken sentences being about his "hakama beauty."

sure, he's good at kyudo, but he's not particularly excellent nor passionate about the sport. this, however, is not true, which builds up in his character as the first season progresses and eventually overflows in the second season. for a character that, in universe, is shown to be in the spotlight consistently ever since he was a child, he's none of that on the range, because that isn't his place. his position on the range is not as important as it is outside of it; he is the yonteki, he is neither at the beginning nor the middle nor the end, he cannot show off, he cannot be the centre of attention as he tends to be. it's true that he attracts a lot of attention and plays into it naturally, because he enjoys it and extroverts, however unfortunate, do exist, but he knows when to take a step back and when to go all out.

there's something i can't ever seem to quite put my finger on. although he is naturally easy-going and playful, this is only a ramped-up front he uses to watch from the back. it's like he's hiding, like he's staying nonchalant and uncommitted so things wash over him. he's blunt. he's so blunt. he really doesn't sugarcoat things, he just doesn't say them until he needs to. i don't wanna call it manipulation, cause that's got a rather negative connotation, but i do wanna call it manipulation, cause that's what it is. he knows how to manipulate responses and reactions with how easy he reads the people around him, and he uses all of that in a very level-headed way to keep peace, though it's always mainly Kaito. it's as if people are malleable to him. it's in the way he pulls Ryohei into doing that whole charade to get Kaito to like Minato, in how he straight up tells Kaito "yeah, it's cause you're being annoyingly tsundere, we're just giving you a push," or in how he tells Minato "yeah, Kacchan don't like you, but he's working on it."

he knows, he's watching, and he's making sure everyone is being accounted for without meddling too much. he sets things into motion with the right push, but he stays out of it, uninvolved. he keeps going on and on about how he's only doing kyudo with nothing but simple bull-headedness, like it doesn't matter all that much, like he can just shrug things off and let Kaito's impulsive comments not get to him. he plays it off, he plays everything off, leaning into that flighty, frivolous prince charming persona, but at the end of the day, he's the most mature and emotionally intelligent of the bunch. 

most of his development is built around connections. whenever Kaito reminds him that he is not taking kyudo seriously, that kyudo is not a game, that kyudo is more than just fun and looking pretty in hakama, Nanao keeps quiet. it's something he knows very well, because none of those are any of the reasons he ever picked up a bow in the first place. he has been watching over Kaito since they were children, going so far as to follow him into kyudo and into the same high-school. however, this is something that Kaito does not recognize for the longest time—not until Nanao actively blows up on him and spells it out for him. Nanao doesn't need for his efforts to be recognized, because he is only doing it to keep peace and read everyone carefully—not only Kaito—to figure out what makes who tick.

he supports his buddies from the back and intervenes only when it's necessary. he aims to please without being self-abandoning; he keeps true to his own self while being a perfect fit for everyone. despite claiming his reasons for shooting are frivolous and superficial, Nanao has an understanding of what sets the people around him off that makes keeping him around necessary, because he shoots for Kaito and now for this team, rather than the target in front of him. he knows, he's so perceptive of it all. there's a scene stuck in my head where Ryohei tries to speak up about the whole Seiya-Nikaido interaction that was bugging him, but he ended up going back on it last minute, and Nanao straight up went "bro, either you commit to it or don't talk."

idk!! call it his big brother instincts, cause that's another thing. things do kinda make a lot more sense when you consider that he is the only one out of everyone in the club (that we know of, cause there's not much about my girls) who is an older sibling. Kaito has two older sisters, Seiya has an older brother, Ryohei has an older sister, and Minato is an only child. Nanao is the only big brother. god i'm losing my fucking mind.

i called him loud and i'll keep calling him loud, but in all honesty Nanao is a lot more silent than he seems. he flirts with his fanclub and attempts it too with the girls in the club, he is quite loud with his "Merha!", he pushes and prods all around with funny comments because, at the end of the day, he is still an entertainer, a mood-maker, and most of all, he's a child. he's still a fifteen-year-old kid that's just dicking around with his friends cause it's not that deep. he's a kid. however, he is consistently reading everyone around him, keeping peace from behind them, working his way around everyone’s quirks and kinks. he's been somewhat forced into this caretaking role, taking comments like "it'd be nice if you and Kaito went to the same school so you can keep him in check" to heart. he too wishes he could be there for his cousin to reel him back in when he steps out of line. and he does, he tries, being the first one to react and try to pull Kaito back before he can bash Minato's face in.

he does things carefully in a way that won't put pressure on anyone other than himself, watching and watching and watching and being so hypersensitive to the smallest of mood changes from anyone. that one little sigh Ryohei gave, to which he immediately went, "what's wrong?" while nobody else batted an eye. when he is the one whose patience finally runs thin, he confronts Kaito about it with truths he has never needed to explain because Kaito would not have been able to digest them properly, and Nanao has always known.

he competes not to win, but to keep up, to stay with his cousin and his team; not approaching a sport with a competitive mindset would be a hindrance to the team, which does not mean he is competitive himself. and he loves kyudo, too, just as much. his expressions and mannerisms are subtle and soft in a way that anyone would miss, but he is happy to see the people that surround him stay on track, with or without his help.

i lose my train of thought every time i start a new sentence cause there's so much i have to say about Nanao. there's a crazy amount of points i go over in my head time and time again. the fact that his hit rate is so consistent, enough to keep up with Kaito and almost with Seiya. how he does not give one flying fuck about Noririn, but he indulges Daigo anyway cause it's fun and it works and he's got nothing to lose by showing a little bit of interest in some guy's idol obsession. how he was watching from the outside, because Kaito never told him what happened with Masaki or why he suddenly wanted to start kyudo, but he was so into it that he was going in all on his own. (i say "never told him" but there's that audio drama where he did, in fact, tell him and the boys.) how kyoani uses him as a sort of bridge between the girlies and the boys just cause he's that much of a social chameleon, i guess. how he's the only other character aside from Minato, the MC mind you, who has not one but TWO features in the character songs album. he's a bridge dawg he's a fit for everyone and anyone. i dunno man i have so many thoughts and zero words to articulate them, but i love this kid. shoutout to this kid, i hope he's having a great day and his lemon teas are always the right temperature. lil bro needs a pat on the back and i wanna be the one to give it to him.