#not sure if this has been done

[heatherfield]

The Case of the Gilded Lily [x]

Bonus:

[kairukitsuneo]

STOPPPPP THIEFFFFFFF 😡💢💢💥

[bearholdingashark]

Incorrect Shadow and Bone

Ivan: Hello, Aleksander. How long have you been sleeping with Alina?

Aleksander: What??

Ivan: How long have you been sleeping with Alina?

Aleksander: That's disgusting and wrong. I don't even get- Why would-? I-I never had sex... with anyone, anywhere. It's none of your- You have the n-nerve, the audacity... Alina is my boss, technically. And she is terrible - face-wise. And how - how - do I know that frankly you're not sleeping with her? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hmm! Check and mate.

Ivan:…

Aleksander: This is an outrage! Who do I call??!

[After they’ve owned up to seeing each other]

Aleksander: How did you find out?

Ivan: We've worked together for a while, now, and I'd like to think I know you pretty well. Plus, Alina butt-dialed me last night. [pulls out his phone and plays a message]

Aleksander: [on the phone] Okay, okay. And this is how the Sun Summoner would kiss.

[Aleksander and Alina dying of embarrassment]

Alina: [on the phone] Whoa, the Sun Summoner likes the tongue. Show me Anastas again.

Aleksander: [on the phone] Okay. Lay down.

[Ivan ends the message]

Aleksander: Please tell me you hung up before... the Black Heretic?

Ivan: Unfortunately not.

[mikonez]

[brobexx]

Sonadow Generations

[soapcloth]

CW: 18+ MDNI, ghoap x reader - dividers -> @/cafekitsune

Can’t stop thinking about having to listen to the two bearish tenants in the apartment next door fucking nasty style whenever they’re home.

Every time you’ve passed them outside they’ve been nice enough- well, the one you’ve properly met is, but whenever he stops you to chat, you can’t help but vividly recall the way he fucks his big, brooding partner like a man starved each night.

Sadly, it’s hard to find the words to ask an imposing guy like him if he can go have sex in a hotel or something, unable to find a polite way to tell him that he sounds like an elk in heat when he fucks- so you don’t. The expectant glint in his eyes told you that even if you did manage to bring it up, it would only spur him on.

The distinct and audible shuffle of moving furniture one morning as you slip on your coat to head out for work makes you hopeful they’ve decided to relocate, and as your thoughts drift later throughout your tedious shift you find yourself praying for someone nice and quiet to occupy the vacant spot; your work-addled brain dreaming up possible new tenants and their imaginary backstories. It’s nice.

After a tiring day you’re more than ready to fall into the first peaceful sleep you’ve had in months, however, to your horror, you find out they’ve moved their bed into the room directly across from your own, Their headboard knocking into the thin wall behind you with a brutish vigour you had previously thought impossible for them to top.

Covering your ears with your pillow and rolling onto your side doesn’t do much to stop the low yearn pooling in your gut when your bed is being rhythmically shaken by their momentum- nor does the shocking sound of your name being spilled out messily in between their own.

[obkkseeker]

youve changed man, what happened

[slyandthefamilybook]

why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe

[turnways]

[antiadvil]

Guys someone really needs to let amazingphil know that RPF ruined Dan and Phil's relationship... I know he only learned about RPF the other day and he's probably really excited but that's no excuse for reblogging a phan vs jedus poll when he KNOWS Dan and Phil look at his blog. What if they see it? That's so inappropriate, I'm honestly disappointed.

[minart-was-taken]

Guess what I've been reading lately

[yooo-lets-go]

Actually love all your art! How would each of the 141 train the recruits? Who would be the biggest nightmare of the recruits, and who would be Prices?

Also love the GhostSoap and GazRoach content!!! Keep up the amazing work ❤️❤️❤️

They are all an absolute delight to be around

[daynascullys]

DANA SCULLY & FOX MULDER — the x files

you were my friend and you told me the truth. even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant. my touchstone.

[sapphicscience]

laura lee / ethel cain, "sun bleached flies"

[rosie321go]

Dick, age nine, doing a cartwheel into a flip to enter the kitchen:

Alfred, having a heart attack while also feeling weirdly proud: he really is our little acrobat

Dick, the little shit that he is:

Don’t you mean…acrorobin?

Dick finds this so funny that he will, without fail, quote it in the middle of patrol when it gets silent.

Every. Time.

[gardentool]

Nanami: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Gojo: Yes.

Nanami: I was hula-hooping. Y/N and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Gojo: Oh my god.

Nanami: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Gojo: Why are you telling me all this?

Nanami: Because no one will ever believe you.

Gojo: You sick son of a bitch.