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sweetblossomsss · 3 days ago

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I’ll be back || CHOI SAN

Synopsis: You don’t understand what happened for him to suddenly disappear. You don’t understand why the police tells you there is no one by the name of Choi San— as if he never existed. You don’t understand why he came back to you, five years later.

WARNINGS: one shot, cursing, crying (lots), ANGST (my fav), fluff, happy ending, SMUT, rough sex, choking, pet name of baby to Y/N, drinking, drunkenness, throwing things, San was affiliated with a gang, Y/N owns a gun, oral (f receiving), mentions of San’s gruesome crimes, back and forth between Y/N and San (ish), Y/N take San back way too easily (lmao), throwing up (only once), I’m sure I’m missing some stuff just lmk.

Word Count: 12k Started: February 2024. Finished: Nov 29, 2024

Blossom’s Note: Hello my petals, hope all is good. Coming at you with a Choi San one shot. Title was inspired by 2pm’s I’ll be back (chefs kiss song). Story was inspired by both the song and the line in John Wick when the father told the son that in order for him to get out, he had to do the impossible. Please keep in mind that this is no where near the same as the movie nor will any killings be mentioned. Now grab some popcorn and a drink and enjoy!

PAST

Silence takes over the room while the distant, muffled voices of your neighbors outside your apartment speak amongst themselves in the hallway, radiating some noise in the room. Dogs in different apartments barked at them, alerting everyone in the complex that people are walking by. Soon the faint sounds of keys jiggling can be heard as they stepped into their respective home and then—complete silence.

The room was dimly lit by your lamp with a fading bulb on its last life—that you always forget to change. You laid on your stomach, resting your head on your arms that was propped on top of your cushioned pillow as you slowly kicked your legs up and down, staring into his eyes as if you were locked in a trance by his gaze.

His fingers traced caressing patterns on your back, making you bit your lower lip gently as you felt the goosebumps form on your skin. He was lying on his side, his hand propped up to hold his head as he other hand roamed your back lovingly.

He gives you a small smirk, nodding his head to signal you to get on top of him. “Come here.” He said in a low voice as he laid on his back, placing an arm behind his head to get a good view of you on top. His favorite view.

You felt giddy inside, smiling as you got up. You quickly threw a leg over, straddling him. He wasted no time in gliding his free hand from your thigh to your ass giving it a slight squeeze. You placed your hands on his chest for support to which he slide the same hand up your arm and cups the side of your face.

You two stare into each other, all mesmerized as he caressed your cheek with his thumb causing you to lean into his touch. You closed your eyes, feeling the comforting warmth of his hand radiating on your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said in a sweet voice. You opened your eyes to catch him already looking into your eyes. “I could stay in this moment forever,” he said watching you slightly turn to the side as you kissed his palm. His hand moves to the back of your neck, pulling you toward him as you ghost your lips over his, “Just you and me.”

Oh, the way your stomach flips at his words especially when he talks in a low tone. He removes the hand behind his head, placing both of them under your shirt wanting to feel your skin, scrunching up your oversized shirt a little bit from his caressing movements.

You hummed in agreement, “Just you and me.” You repeated, pecking his lips once, “Forever.” You said before leaning back down to capture his lips. You feel his strong arms wrap around your waist, wanting to feel you closer—if that was even possible.

You moan slightly into his mouth, feeling the kiss starting to pick up. He cups your ass, giving it a nice squeeze as you raised your hand up to his hair tugging slightly making him moan in delight. Just as this moment was starting to heat up and get spicy—“Let’s runaway.” He breaks the kiss.

You looked at him, he was panting slightly trying to catch his breath as his eyes gleamed a bit. You panted as you sat up, tilting your head to the side, “What?” You asked with a playful smile on your lips as you furrowed your eyebrows.

Did he really leave you hot and bothered to say some stupid shit? Leave it to San to cockblock the fuck out of the both of you with his random thoughts.

He sits up, adjusting himself underneath you as he wraps his arms around your waist again as your hands make home in his hair as you caressed it. “You heard me,” he said, “let’s runaway. Just you and me, mm? What do you think?” He said ask he peppered kissed on your neck.

You chuckled at his words, tilting your head more as he kept leaving kisses on your neck down to your collarbone, “what I think is that you’re dumb. Did you really stop us for that?” You laughed, reaching to cup his face as you looked down at him. He nodded, “I’m being serious!” He pouted at you.

You sighed. “Okay. Say we were to,” you say playing along with his idea,“where would we go?” You asked him, leaning down to kiss away his pout.

He looks back and forth between your eyes, smirking as he flips you onto your back causing you yelp in surprise. “Anywhere you want to go,” he grabs your legs, wanting to feel them wrapped around him, “Whatever you want,” He says leaning down to kiss you on your lips. “I’ll do it for you.” His kisses trail down to your jaw. “Anything you want.” Down your neck as he caressed your leg.

You licked your lips and slightly moan at the sensation. “Mmm, anything?” You asked him raising an eyebrow as you tilt your head to look at him. “Anything, baby.” He looked up from the crook of your neck.

You shook your head, “You’re so silly. You know we can’t do that.” You smiled at him but then turned serious, “Plus can you even afford me? I’m quite expensive.” You lifted your hand up, examining your nails acting all snobby like turning your head to the side.

He pauses for a second, sitting up. He scoffs, “Excuse me?” Hand on his chest feigning to be offended.

You looked at him and eyed him up and down, playfully judging him and shrugged, “I have expensive taste and demands that need to met.” You said crossing your arms.

“Hit me with whatever you want. I can afford it.” He extends his arms out to the side as if saying do-you-know-who-the-fuck-I-am.

You scoffed, eyeing him up and down, “I don’t want to work.”

“Done.”

“I want to be a housewife.”

“Done.”

“I want different color Lamborghinis to match my moods for the day.”

“Done.”

“I want a private chef. I want to be carried everywhere.”

“Done and done.”

You two stayed silent, looking at each other with a serious look before bursting into laughter. The laughter you two created sounded like the most beautiful music to your ears. You loved having these silly moments with him.

While the laughter subsided, San places his hands on each side of your head, leaning forward. ”Y/N,” He says, your hands slide up and down his muscular arms. “Let’s just do it, huh? We can go and get married,” He places a kiss on your lips, tucking some of your hair behind your ear, “we can have six kids-“

“Six?! The fuc-“ you cut him off with widen eyes, raising both of your eyebrows.

“They will have your sparkling eyes, your beautiful smile,” he cuts you off, ignoring you which caused you to roll your eyes, “they can have my nose, maybe my eyebrows or ears. We can raise them the best we can, we can put them sports, watch them get married, travel when they all leave the house, be the best grandparents ever-“ he cuts himself off as he clears his throat, feeling a bit saddened, but you’re too distracted by his story to catch onto it. “We can grow old together and be buried next to each other. With that, we stay together forever.”

You cup his cheek, “Seems like you got this all figured out, huh?” You smiled at him. “How did a girl like me get so lucky?”

“Oh, baby,” he said in a matter of factly tone, “With me you won’t have to think or worry about anything.” He smirked at you, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on it.

There was a moment of silence as you two looked into each other’s eyes all in love. But then San got off of you which made you confused as you furrowed your eyebrows. “San? What are you doing?” You asked him, confused by his actions as his back faces you.

You sit up and sat in the middle of the bed, about to reach out of him but took your hand back abruptly when you saw San turning around and giving you a serious look. He suddenly gets down on one knee. “Y/N,” he said in a serious tone, causing you to cover your face as you fell back laughing, “San, what are you doing?” You asked him as you sat back up with a huge shock smile on your face.

“Y/N,” he repeats again. He inhales and exhales, closing his eyes before looking back into your eyes. “Baby the second my eyes laid on you, my heart knew that you were the one I wanted to spend forever with. I want to wake up and have your eyes be the first thing and the last thing I see. There aren’t enough words to describe the love I have for you.”

You feel yourself getting teary eyed as you scoff out a smile, not believing that he is doing this. “I know, I don’t have a ring right now, but trust me when I say that when I do get it, it will have the biggest gem that represents the immense love I have for you.” He said watching you sniff up your tears. “Will you marry me? Because I don’t want to do life without you.”

You gasped at his words, crying for a few moments before sniffing up your runny nose as you used the back of your hand to wipe your falling tears, “San,” your voice cracks out, as you placed a hand on your chest. “Yes!” You breathed out a smile, “Yes, I will marry you.”

He finally exhales a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Yes?” He asks you as he broke out into the biggest smile ever and you nodded quickly, “Yes, San, yes.” You repeated as he helped you stand up.

He picked up, you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist as he spins you both around in his arms. You leaned your forehead against his, “You scared me,” he said, “What took you so long in answering!”

You kissed his pout, “I’m sorry,” you laughed, “I had to make sure. You know I’m expensive.” You joked.

He gives you a deadpan look, “Really?” He said in a monotone voice causing you to burst out into laughter as you leaned your forehead against his again, cupping his face, “No, my idiot. I just couldn’t believe this was happening. I’m going to marry my soulmate. I’ve never been more sure in my life.”

“You’re the one for me,” he said looking into your eyes. If you weren’t so high from the moment, you could’ve sworn there was sadness in his eyes. “I just- I don’t want to wait anymore.” He cleared his throat, “You’re the one for me, Y/N.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he repeated himself.

After a minute, he clears his throat, “Now,” he says as he tosses you on the bed causing you to yell in shock as you sit up and give him a glare. He takes off his shirt and throws it somewhere behind him as he spreads your legs, ignoring the pissed off look you have with a smirk on his face, “Should we start with baby number one? Or will we get lucky and have triplets first round?”

“San-“ he cuts you with the smirk still etched on his face as he kissed you. He knew damn well you were gonna bring up the topic of six kids, but that’s for another time. Right now, he wants to cherish this moment with you. Just one last time.

You hated how easily he captivated you and how easy he had you under his finger. Without trying to break contact with you, his hand struggles to turn off the light as he taps everything but the switch. He groans in frustration as he sits up and slams the stupid button off causing you to laugh at his impatience. Finally, the light was off.

As he leans back down kissing you, he is mentally tattooing everything about you throughout the night—your lips, your melodic sounds, your breathing, your heartbeat, your gentle and rough touches, your curves— Just everything before it was time.

—

It was late at night as San stood near the bed, watching you sleep. He was dressed in all black, prepared to leave but not before he says goodbye to you. The sheer curtains let the moonlight seep in, casting on your face. The light snores you made were music to his ears. It cause him to gently chuckle bittersweetly as tears blurred his vision.

He remembered all the times you argued with him saying that he was liar, telling him that you don’t snore. It hurt knowing this would be last time hearing them— last time seeing you.

He slowly and gently takes steps to you, leaning down as he removes a few strand of hair from your face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispers to you, “I have to go.” He kisses your forehead gently, “I love you so, so much.”

He stiffed up a bit when he saw you stirring in your sleep but exhaled in relief when you stopped and went back to your light snores. He glanced at the clock on your night stand and read 3:00AM. It’s about that time. He looks down as he felt his tears coming in, “Please forgive me.” He pleads quietly, sniffing as he looks at you. “I’ll be back.”

One last kiss on the forehead and he slowly gets up and walks to the door. And just like a switch, he walked down the hall, sniffing up those tears as he moved his head side to side, cracking his neck as a more serious, deadly look appeared on his face as he disappeared from the apartment and into the night.

—

Ugh, you really have to change those sheer curtains that blocks absolutely nothing because right now the morning sun was shinning right in your eyes, stirring you awake. You leaned on your back, one arm covering your eyes while the other reached out to touch San but was met with a cold, empty side.

Eyes still covered, you moved your hand around to try and find his body but let’s be real, this was no California King size bed. Either he fell off the bed or simply, he isn’t here. You removed your arm from your eyes and turned to the side and confirmed that he wasn’t there.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you slowly sat up, bringing the blanket to cover your bare chest. “San?” You called out to him. Maybe he’s in the living room. You waited for a response but nothing.

You sighed as you removed the blanket off your body, shivering slightly from cool air as goosebumps formed on your skin. Maybe he didn’t hear me. You grabbed your shirt from off the floor, putting it on as you walked to the living room. “Sannie?” But you were met with an empty living room—an empty apartment.

You removed your tucked hair from your shirt as you pursed your lips, crossing your arms, “This man is going to be the death of me.” You didn’t think much of it—well, kind of— San does this all the time. Whether it was for work or hanging out with friends— whatever it may be, it was normal for him to do. Yes, you have gotten into multiple arguments over it. Yes, he says he will try. But there are times that he forgets to tell you—like today.

You walked back into the room grabbing your phone, unplugging it from the charger as you tapped on the screen but no notifications. “Really?” You sucked the back of your front teeth, feeling annoyed as you shook your head. You unlocked your phone and dialed his number, running a hand through your hair as you hear the dialing tone.

“The number you have dialed-“ you sighed in annoyance as you hung up the call, opening your messages. ‘Thanks for letting me know that you were leaving :)’ and a ‘call me when you can. Love you asshole.” You sent to him, but it came back as message failed. Great, now his phone died.

You threw your phone on bed, “Whatever.” You say as you walked out the room and headed to the bathroom as you started to get ready for the day. Another great thing about San is that he is not the most dependable with his phone. His phone is either dead or lost between the sofa cushions. He truly can’t pick a struggle.

But you know what, at the end of the day you love him and all his aggravating faults, no matter how many times you want to strangle him. That’s your fiancé. Indeed it is. And it has you smiling like an idiot as you brushed your teeth, looking at your reflection. You guess you’ll keep him.

—

As the day went on, it was still radio silent on San’s part. You kept checking, calling, texting but it was to no avail. San may be dumb when it comes to how he handles his phone and where he’s going and whatnot but he never fails to call you and let you know where he’s at or how he’s doing—even if that means calling from a strangers phone. Yes, you were confused that one time a random ass number kept calling you.

You couldn’t help but get this feeling that something is wrong, so here you are pulling up to his job and checking to see if he’s there. You parked and inhaled and exhaled, keeping the nerves at bay as you grabbed your things and headed out of your car.

‘The Tire Shop’ came into view as you made your way to the door. Maybe he’s busy and you’ll forgive him for now and yell at him later. As soon as you opened the door, you winced a bit at the car drill radiating throughout the shop as you looked at the men working on cars.

You watched as a man passed by you, rolling at tire to a car he’s fixing on, having the smell of oil and sweat fill up your nostrils. You gripped your purse strap as you looked around to spot if San was talking with someone or working on a car but nothing.

You were too caught up scanning for San that you didn’t even notice an older gentleman approaching you. “Ma’am?” He calls to your attention as he wipes his hands on a dirty rag, removing excess grease. “Anything I can help you with?”

“Oh, sorry,” you chucked nervously, stepping a bit closer to him. “Yes. I’m looking for someone. Is San working today? Did he come in?” You asked.

He tilted his head to the side, giving you his ear as he gets a bit closer to you as the drill goes off again, “I’m sorry. Who?” He yelled through the sound, eyebrows furrowed.

“San. Choi San.” You repeated a bit louder, leaning in slightly to his ear. “H-Have you seen him?” You stuttered a bit, feeling nervous.

“Choi San?” He repeated with confusion in his tone, tilting his head in confusion. “I’m sorry but nobody of that name works here.” He said shaking his head, tucking in the dirty rang in his back pocket.

You froze, feeling your blood go cold. You let out a nervous laugh, “That’s impossible,” you said reaching into your purse and showing your lock screen. “He’s been working here for five years.” The man squints his eyes, adjusting his poor vision to see the photo of San. “Are you sure?” You asked him in disbelief.

He nods his head. “I’m sure, ma’am.” But seeing the desperation in your face, he sighs turning around to yell out to one of his coworker. The coworker stops and gives him a stank face of what-do-you-want? The man asks him if he’s heard of a Choi San working here but the coworker just shook his head, getting back to work.

“Well, there you have it. Is there anything else I can help you with today?” The gentleman asked you as your heart dropped.

—

You slammed that door open as you rushed out, fumbling with your car keys in hand as you made your way to the car. You slammed your car door shut as you gripped onto the steering wheel, “What the fuck is going on?�� You asked yourself, with a shaky breath, hearing a high pitch ringing in your ears.

You looked at your purse that was still clinging onto your arm. You quickly opened it, rummaging through it as you searched for your phone, messing up password multiple times as you rushed to unlock it making you groan in frustration.

“Come on come on.” You whispered to yourself as you dialed his number waiting for him to pick up but it went straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” You screamed out as you threw your phone on the dashboard.

You leaned your face into your hands, feeling anger and confusion swimming in your mind. Are you going insane? What the fuck does this man mean that he’s never heard of a Choi San? You start to get flashbacks of when you dropped him off, him literally coming out of the shop, having lunch with him right outside on the benches— Just what in the fuck is going on?

Fuck this. You backed out and drove to the police station. You knew San like that back of your hand. From small details such as calling or texting, even if he doesn’t do it in the moment, he NEVER forgets. And now you’re being told that he has never worked there? For the past five years? Bullshit. Something bad is happening and you sure as hell aren’t going to waste anymore time.

—

You were spaced out thinking about the whereabouts of San as you sat in-front of a desk, waiting for an officer. You gnawed on your lower lip, bouncing your leg rapidly from the nerves. “Miss Y/N?” Your head snapped to the side to see a female officer approaching you with a comforting smile and water.

You stood up and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Officer Lee.” She gestures to the seat you were in, “Please, sit.” She places the cup in front of you, mumbling a thank you to her as you took a sip of water.

“Thank you so much for meeting with me.” You tell her as you adjust yourself in the seat. “I just didn’t know what else to do and I just- I don’t-“ you felt overwhelmed, losing your words.

She reaches over the table and places a comforting hand on yours. “It’s okay. You did the right thing by coming here.” She smiles once more, removing her hand to grab a pen and opening her notepad. “Why don’t we break down your day today. From when you woke up to now.”

You nodded as you inhaled and exhale. You quickly got to work. You told her how you woke up and he wasn’t home, how he’s basically irresponsible with his phone, how his job all of a sudden tells you that he doesn’t work there. You also mentioned every single detail of San. From his hair to physique, his full name, date of birth, no family, all of his habits, photos of him—you didn’t even forget to mention how just last night he proposed to you.

Throughout this Officer Lee was jotting down everything you told her, asking some questions to expand on certain things. “And that’s everything I know.” You sighed in exhaustion, sniffing as you wiped some tears with tissue paper.

“It was perfect. You gave us all information possible to make this a clear and proper search.” She nodded as you as she closes her notepad and placing her pen down. “I know this is tough for you, but I can assure you that we will do our best to figure out what happened.”

You faced down with your eyes closed. “What if I’m being dramatic? But at the same time what if something happened to him? I just don’t know-“

“Listen to me,” She cuts you off. “You know San better than anyone. If you feel that something is off then something must be off, okay? Plus, one doesn’t suddenly not work at a place he’s been at for five years.” You sniffed and nodded at her.

She stands up, which causes you to also stand up, adjusting your purse on your shoulder. “In the meantime, go home and continue with your regular routine. I know it’s easier said than done, but please try. We will handle the rest and keep you updated.”

You nodded and shook her hand once more. “Thank you so much Officer Lee.” You tell her. “I very much appreciate it.” And with that you made your way out the station, pushing the door as you stepped out into the breezy night. You entered your car and leaned your head back, feeling a sob coming out once more. Where did you go, San?

—

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months since you last saw San. Every single day you call the police to get an update but it was the same fucking vague answers. It’s as if they rehearsed the same lines over and over just for you. You felt as if you were past the point of insanity.

All you just want to know is if San was alive or not. You just want to know if there was a single trace of him anywhere in this damn world— just something. All you just wanted a peace of mind.

Here you go again, on the phone with Officer Lee, who quite literally has the patience of an angel with the way you be calling everyday—some days with more attitude than usual. “Miss Y/N, as I have said before,” she sighed, “I don’t have anything. I will call you when-“

“When you have an update.” You finished the sentence with her. Today, you just so happen to have that attitude. “I know. I just-“ you cut yourself off as you sighed and rubbed your forehead, walking back and forth in your living room.

“I just want to know if you found anything. Even is that anything is so small, I don’t care. Just anything please.” You begged her. “Like why would he lie to me for the past five years about his job? Why would he propose to me and envision this life with me only for him to leave?” You asked her on the verge of tears, exhaling a shaky breath.

These are all the same questions you’ve been asking her for months. You sound like a broken record at this point, but what can you do? You never thought this would happen to you. Deep down you know the only one who can truly answer this was Choi San.

Officer Lee rubs her forehead, staying silent as she listens to you. She too feels heartbroken for you. “I’m sorry.” You whimpered out, sniffing. “I’m just desperate. I feel like I’m going insane. It’s been months and there’s no update. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.” You vented to her, feeling your heart slowly break apart.

There was a long, long pause on the phone as you cried. Just as soon as you were going to ask if she was still there— she spoke. “Y/N, listen to me and listen closely because this will be the only time I will be mentioning this.” Officer Lee looks at her surroundings and figures there’s too many people so she heads to a vacant stairway.

You froze at her words. Her tone sounded completely different. “I’m not allowed to speak about this, but I can’t keep letting you live like this.” You froze at her words, “There is no record of Choi San.”

You opened your mouth but no words came out feeling completely confused as you shook your head in confusion. “A few months back, I was able to find something on him. Just a small trace of his location. He was seen walking around town, nothing too suspicious. But,” she pauses. You feel your heartbeat in your throat, “the following day when I went to check the video surveillance once more, it was gone. Wiped off. When I went to search him up, it said that there was no record of Choi San.“ She said. “It’s as if he never existed.”

Your heart dropped, you felt the room spinning. “Wh-What?” You managed to let out, “As if he ever existed?” You repeated her words in disbelief. “What? Why would anyone do that? Why would that even happen?”

Officer Lee looks up the stairs to check if anyone was coming and below before leaning her back on the wall. “Can I tell you something?” She whispered into the phone. She can sense the overwhelming feeling of hurt and confusion.

You closed your eyes, feeling tears falling down your face. You bit your lips, nodding even though she couldn’t see you. “Yes?” You answered quietly, feeling your fear taking over.

“As someone who has been working in this industry for a long time, it can only mean one thing,” she says, “this man was involved in something very dangerous.” You felt your knees give up as you held onto the sofa. “Whoever this Choi San is, he disappeared for a reason.”

“Who is he? What has been done?” You asked frantically, feeling the hairs stand behind your neck. Who did I lie in bed with?

She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She sounded defeated. Truthfully, she did not know. She knew that this was not the first time someone has just up and disappeared off the Earth. She knows that there are some evil deals made behind closed doors with the police department.

“Why would he do to me then? What am I supposed to do?” You asked her choking out a sob as you angrily wiped that tears off your face.

“If I were you, I would leave.” She said serious. You were taken aback. “Y/N, you don’t know this man. He is not the man you thought you knew. Trust me. Please. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

You felt numb at this point. What else can come in and ruin your life at this point? “I will call you if I have find something. Until then, please take care of yourself.” And with that you heard the hang up tone, leaving you alone once again.

You stood there in silence, dropping your arm down along with the phone. The sound of the phone hitting the floor rang in your ears. San? Dangerous? No. It can’t be. All of these thoughts rapidly came at you at once, making it seem like a million of voices are in your head.

Soon everything just went blank and something within you snapped. You went to the fireplace and hand swipe everything off the counter, screaming in anger. You cried in misery as you grabbed a picture frame and chucked it to the wall, watching the glass shatter at the impact.

You swiped everything off your dining table, flipping the table in frustration. His absence only worsen the betrayal you felt within your fucking bones. You stood in the middle of the living room starting to laugh. Laughing hysterically as tears dwelled in your eyes.

Everything you knew for the past five years was a lie. A waste of time. Your laughter subsided to agony as you fell to your knees, unable to control this painful heartache. You sobbed uncontrollably as you clutched onto your chest wanting to take this unbearable pain out of your heart.

Fucking San? A dangerous man? The same idiot who was afraid of flipping food over because he was afraid of the hot oil? The same idiot who would drink water from his hands because he was lazy to get a cup? The same idiot who wanted to raise a family with you? No. This can’t be happening.

You leaned forward, placing your hands on the floor as you leaned on them for support as your body shook from your cries. It hits you in that moment if he knew what he was asking when he asked you to runaway. All that you envisioned is gone, just like him.

—

It’s later in the night, and you’re in your kitchen drunkenly stumbling on your tippy toes as you kept your balance to reach into the top cabinet for yet another wine bottle. You finally reached it, popping open the bottle and pouring more in your glass. You take a sip as you close your eyes, feeling this temporary relief soak up in you.

You grabbed the bottle and turned to face the living room, eying the mess you created earlier. You’ll deal with it later, you thought to yourself as you took another sip, walking through the mess as you headed straight to your room.

You sat on your floor staring into the open closet with swollen, bloodshot eyes. You took a sip feeling your eyelids getting heavy from the crying and the alcohol. You placed the cup down, grabbing the bottle and poured some more wine without taking your sight off his side the closet.

Judging from how you heard the cup filling up to the brim, you stopped and placed the bottle down. You sighed as you licked your lips. Well, might as well start moving his shit out. You drunkenly got on your knees and crawled to the closet and sat on your knees.

You reached up and yanked off one of his shirts from the hanger, watch it swing from the harsh pull. You brought the material up to your nose, inhaling it. Though your nose maybe be stuffy from the crying, his scent was so strong. You bring it up to your cheek, wishing it was his touch— his warmth.

You opened your eyes to a blurred vision. No, no tears right now. You turned around and reached to grab your drink and took a few sips before placing it back down. You slowly stood up, feeling the liquor rushing down your legs as it controls your movements. Let’s start with something different.

You reached out to the top of the closet shelve, getting on your tippy toes and grabbed a stack full of boxes and miscellaneous things. But with your wobbly drunken self, and horrible grip, you ended up dropping it on the floor, causing you to yelp out as you moved back.

You opened your eyes and looked down to see that you spilled your drink and broken the glass, “Oh, great.” You pursed your lips, “Glad to see that I’m not the only one broken.” You say, making a half-assed joke. You sighed as you got on your knees and collected some of the big pieces. Thankfully your floor is carpet, all you have to do is wet-vac it.

You started to dry off some of his things but was stopped when you saw a black briefcase with a gold lock embedded on it. “What is this?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you grabbed it and used your hands to take off some of the wine droplets.

You sat comfortable and brought it the case closer for you to examine the lock. It was a four digit code. You grabbed your wine bottle, taking a big swig of it before you went to work on this lock. You bit your lower lip in concentration as you tried multiple combinations.

Shit, you even did the good ole 1, 2, 3, 4. Now listen, in your defense, while on one hand you can kill San, or whoever that man is right now, you always laughed at him for having the most basic password ever—to which he would get offended each time. So you couldn’t help but try it out at least one time.

But, man, you were stumped. Plus it doesn’t help that you were drunk so give yourself some slack. You take a sip and groaned out loud, “What could it even be..” you thought out. You then gasp as you quickly grabbed the case and placed in those four digits. Your birthday. And with that, it clicks open.

You scoffed out a smile, “Really?” Of course he would. “Stop it.” You scolded yourself, shaking your head at yourself. You exhaled, trying to calm the nerves. You slowly opened it, eyes widening at the sight of documents. But these weren’t just regular documents— these were gang afflicted documents.

Your drunken eyes roaming all over, you grabbed the papers out and stacked them, pushing the briefcase to the side. You then start to spread out the documents in front of you, eyes widening as they captured specific words.

You get on your knees as you further spread them out. You then fall back on your knees and parted your mouth in shock at the view in front of you. These documents were filled with gruesome attacks of people, some described chilling events that took place, plans of ambushes, details reports of deaths— you felt sick. What you take notice is that whoever wrote all of this, must’ve been so numb to the brutal killings that were executed.

You then notice a familiar signature at the bottom of the paper. “Oh my god..” you cover your mouth in shock. It was his signature. He did this. You dropped the paper and picked up the previous papers to only confirm what you had in mind. All of them had his signature. He did all of this.

You then turn to the side and saw orange envelope that was filled with what you could imagine more information. You grabbed it and opened it, but dropped it as you turned to the side feeling as if you were going to throw up. You coughed as you felt your throat closing up as you leaned on your hands for support as you hunched over.

“Oh, what the fuck!” You coughed out. Never in your life did you expect to see most nastiest, gruesome photos of bodies. You laid in bed with a freaking monster. You ran a hand through your hair as you looked back the photos you dropped.

You panted heavy as you picked a photo with San standing in the center as men surrounded him all shirtless. You looked closely and saw a snake tattoo that started on their ribs and to their chest. You then had a memory come in when you asked San about his tattoo but he shook his head saying it was nothing, how he thought it was cool when he was younger.

The look casted on San’s face was a rough looking demeanor that contradicts the San you knew—but then again everything did. You dropped your hand with the photograph still in your grasp as you spaced out for a second trying to process everything.

Officer Lee was right. You just didn’t want to believe it. You looked down as took in the gruesome that were spread out. You saw all the violence San created—all the blood, guts, chopped off body parts, one with San smiling over a body. You couldn’t contain it anymore and struggled your way to the bathroom, having the walls be your support as you made it to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

You can’t believe what your life has become.

—

PRESENT TIME, 5 YEARS LATER

"Alright, my little munchkins," Your voice full of warmness, "It's almost time to go home, let's start cleaning up!" You say to your first grade students as they in unison yelled out "Okay!" You heard the little chairs squeak against the floor as they got up preparing to leave.

They chatted amongst themselves as they worked together. You moved through the room, helping and guiding them when they had questions on where certain things go. As years have passed, you slowly rebuilt your life. You took joy in being a Pre-K teacher. The laughter and smiles from the kids help shed some light in the darkness that was roaming around you.

The kids eagerly grabbed their backpacks and jacket, helping some as you made some jokes with them causing them to giggle. They were filled with excitement knowing it was time to go home as they bounced in a file line by the door. You opened the doors seeing parents waiting outside.

One by one you watched as they left, the crowd of students getting smaller and smaller. You sighed as you closed your classroom door, stretching your neck. You organized the classroom some more, pushing in chairs, sweeping the floor, collecting left over materials and putting them in their respective place.

Finally, time to go home and shower the day off. You grabbed your purse, turned off the light and headed out the room. You lock your class room door and sighed as you take your hair out of the tight ponytail, running a hand through it.

For some reason you felt someone looking at you which made you look across the street to see a man all dressed in black standing still as he looked at you. You slowly subsided your steps, looking at this figure but with the sun and tall silver fence that wrapped around the school, it was hard to adjust on the face.

You watched as they slowly walked away, your gaze never leaving them until they are fully gone from your view. Well, that was fucking weird, you thought to yourself as you picked up the pace to your car, looking behind you every few seconds.

—

For five years you have done all that you could to forget Choi San and started anew. You blocked out everything you two shared. The memories, the empty promises, the relationship you two had—everything. You packed up your shit, got rid of everything that was San’s, and moved states. You changed your number, email, deleted any form of social media and accounts— you name it and it was gone.

To say you weren’t terrified would be a bold ass lie. You were petrified of the things San has done. Most importantly, what he could do to you. You were scared of him finding you. When you feel yourself slipping up, yearning for his love or him, you remind yourself of the deadly things this man did. He has no right to stay in your heart.

But we digressed. You slide the shower curtain open causing the steam to swirl around from your sudden movement. You bring your hair to the side, wringing out the excess water, and then slowly stepped of the tub carefully to not lose your balance. You dragged the towel off the rack and pat your self dry before wrapping it around you.

Tucking the excess at the top to make sure the towel doesn’t fall, you walked to your mirror and hand wiped the fog off. You started off with your nightly routine, wanting to just go to bed from all the exhaustion you had today. But just then as you spat out your toothpaste, you heard a faint creaking of wood in your living room.

You looked at the door and froze, feeling your heart quicken a bit at the sound. Maybe it was the upstairs neighbors. You shook your head as you opened the faucet and wiped the corners of your mouth. Maybe I just made the sound up.

But then the creaking noise comes back. You turned off the faucet, gently placing your ear and hands against the door, waiting for it once more. It’s silent—but you aren’t taking any chances.

You slowly pushed yourself off the door and crouched down to your sink cabinet. You quietly opened it and reached in and grabbed the gun that was attached to the roof of the cabinet. When you moved, you decided to arm yourself as a form of protection.

You stood up and cocked the gun back. Your free hand wrapped around the door knob, inhaling and exhaling before slowly opening it. The creaking of the door opening added to the eeriness of the silence. Goosebumps formed on your skin as a gush of cool air from the hallway hits your skin.

You raised the gun up while your other hand supported it from underneath as you walked down the hall. The mist leaving the bathroom was conforming with the fresh air, disappearing behind you as you made your way down the hallway. Your steps thudded as you got closer, faint sounds of water droplets from your hair coming in contact with the floor.

You quickly turned the corner, scanning the living room as the gun followed your eye movements. Your breathing filled up your ears as your eyes moved quickly to every shadow or movement you suspected was something, which only added to your adrenaline.

Then finally, the creaking noise made your ears twitch and this time it was clear where it was coming from. You pointed the gun to the kitchen, tightening the grip. “Show yourself.” You commanded, voice full of anger.

Soon a man slowly emerges from the dark shadows with his hands up. Your eyes widened for a second but you kept your composure, “Who are you?” A slight shaky tone gave away the fear coursing in your body. All you saw was his body as the darkness covered his face.

Slowly he dropped his hands, standing still. “Answer me.” You demanded, heart beating up to your ears.

And with that he takes a step forward and with one look at the face, everything comes crumbling down. “S-San?” You gasped in disbelief, eyes widening at the sight of him, mouth parting.

“Y/N,” he said in a low voice. Oh my god. “It’s me.” It’s really him. The voice you longed to hear after five years. The person you missed desperately. The person who was your forever. He held his gaze with yours as he walked to you.

You felt your arms slowly dropping as you stood in shock. You couldn’t believe he’s here face to face. You want to hold him—wait— “Don’t fucking move.” You tell him as you quickly regained your composure. He freezes at your words. He is not the person you thought you knew.

“Y/N,” his voice broke, eyes full of sorrow. “Please. I know I fucked up.” He tries taking a step forward. Fucked up is an understatement.

“Don’t fucking move!” You yell at him, taking a step forward, gun pointed at him causing him to take a step back. “I’ll shoot you.” You tell him.

His eyes widen at your words. “Y/N,” he whispers as tears start dwelling in his eyes. “I know you’re upset, but please let me explain-“

“Upset?” You cut him off with a humorless laugh. “You fucking asshole. You ruined me! You hurt me in ways I didn’t even know was possible.” You spat at him. “You left me. No— You disappeared. Come to find out you’re nothing but a sick piece of inhumane shit murderer.”

“Let me explain, Y/N. It’s not what you think.” He tells you as he takes a step forward to you. His heart drops at the way you look at him. He knows the damage he has done. He knows that it might be late to salvage whatever is left but he would be damn if he gives up to easily.

The two of you moved around in circles in your living room. Him wanting to hold you, to feel your warmth and to explain everything but you wanting nothing to do with him as you moved away from him. His voice broke as he spoke, “Baby, please-“

“Don’t!” You cut him off, feeling the hot tears falling down your cheeks. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to show up five years later and try to make up for all the bullshit you put me through.” You tell him as you two finally stopped moving.

You watched as he cried, looking in pain. “Leave. Never come back. You’re five years too late, asshole. I want nothing from you.” You tell him angrily. There was a pause of works between you two, all you could hear was the cries. Your vision blurred by your tears as you stared into his regretful eyes.

San couldn’t contain it anymore. He walks up to you, making you gasp in shock as you walked backwards, bumping into the wall arms still extended out. You felt a slight push from the gun when its cold metal was pressed on his chest. “I have killed men.” He starts to explain what you saw in the photos. “Those men you saw in the photos have done most vile, disgusting things to people. Things that would keep you up at night.” He whispers at the end.

He clears his throat, “Let me explain,” he pleads. “Let me explain and then I’ll leave. I’ll do whatever you ask of me but please, Y/N…”

You fucking trembled as you let out a sob. He sighs in relief as he raised his hands, enclosing them on yours as he gently removed the gun from your hands. You don’t even fight it, you just hug yourself. He removes the ammo and cocks back the gun watching the bullet jump out, dropping the gun to the floor.

The thud made you jump back, wishing the wall would engulf you and would disappear. Slowly he raised his hands to your shoulders, causing you to look away in fright. You swallowed your nerves as you stiffened a bit, feeling his hands rising up to cup your face, making you turn to face him.

He leans his forehead on yours, sliding his hands from your face down your arms, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his lips as he pressed gentle kisses on your knuckles. He places your hands on his cheeks and leans into your touch, let out a shaky sigh of relief. Enjoying your warmth, missing your touch.

You stood there as you took in his gentle gestures. No matter how much you tried to deny it, you fucking missed him. You missed everything so much, but can’t fall for this. You removed your hands from his touch and looked at him in anger. He fucking left you.

You shoved his chest with all your force, watching him stumble backwards. He looked at you in shock. There was a moment of silence before you walked up to him and started pounding him on his chest, hitting him as you released everything you’ve been suppressing for the past five years.

“How could you do this to me?!” You screamed at him. “Who the fuck are you? Why would you come into my life if you were just going to disappear?” He stood there, taking it from you knowing that he deserves this and more.

You slapped him so hard across the face, making him almost lose his balance. “Okay,” he said groaning out in pain as he adjusted his jaw, feeling that burning sensation. “I deserved that.”

You shoved him once more. “I gave you everything.” You told him, panting heavily. “I fucking loved you. You were my everything. We were going to get married and have this life together.” You cried to him. You placed your hands on your head, feeling as if you were going crazy, “I just want to know why.” You shook your head, “Why, San?”

“Baby,” he tells you and you just close your eyes not wanting to hear the pet name he had for you. “I-“ he tried finding the words. “I was involved in something that I never, ever wanted you to find out. I know, sounds hypocritical considering you found the documents and pictures and for that I’m sorry. I genuinely forgot to take the case because- because-“ he sighs as he shakes his head, cutting himself off to change the topic.

You stayed quiet as you looked at him. He sniffed, “I have done terrible, terrible things.” You watched as he looks down and then back up to you, “But I had no choice.” He tells you as he got closer to you, grabbing your hands as he brings them to his lips once more “Part of what I did was something I needed to do in order to get out.” He places a kiss on your hands, looking at you. “In order to be with you.”

You wanted to stay silent. You didn’t want to know but your curiosity betrayed you, “What-“ you let out a shaky breath, “What did you have to do?” You said quietly.

He leans his forehead on your hands, not being able to look at you when he confesses. “In order to get out—to show my loyalty to them and to prove I was done with that life— I had to kill very important people.”

You took your hands from his grasp and looked to the side as you covered your mouth, not being able to look at him. “Oh my god.” You whimpered out.

“Baby, please, it was the only way for me to get out of this life that I didn’t even want to be to begin with.” He says, searching for your eyes. “But that was the only way for me to survive. Once I was in, there was no easy way out.”

He cups your face and wipes your tears, “But when I saw you,” he lets out chuckle with tears streaming down, “I’ll never forget when I first laid my eyes on you. I knew from the bottom of my heart I wanted to be with you,” he looked into your eyes, “I did what I did to be with you. I would do it a thousand times over for you. Because I love you.”

You closed your eyes, whimpering as he kept going on. “I left because I wanted to live a free life from all that shit. I left because I wanted to live in peace with you. Listen,” he cups your face, making you look directly at him, “the men I killed deserved all I did. They have hurt innocent people. Woman, children, Y/N, they don’t care who it was. Scumbags like that deserved to be punished.”

He fell to knees, placing gentle tender kisses on your thighs. “I was so, so afraid of losing you that I hid everything from you. I fucked up for not telling you but I was just trying to protect you.” He cries out as he leans his forehead on your thighs.

He wraps his arms around your legs, “I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry for leaving you. I’m so sorry for all the misery I have caused you. I promise you, I was done. But-” he fumbled with his words, “But someone informed me that they were looking for me to get revenge. To get back at me for all I did to those people.”

He looks up at you, “And I just—… I could never live with myself if they killed you.So I decided to just leave and disappear before they found you with me.” He caresses the back of your thighs as he leaned his forehead once more on your thighs. “I thought it would be better this way. I paid off the men at my job to lie to you if you showed up. I threw my phone away. I had all of my records cleared off the database. I just couldn’t risk anyone having single link of you from me. ”

Your sobs filled the room as you take in all his words. This man who went from your lover to a stranger to now you being conflicted. You watched as he stood up, cupping your face once more. “For the past five years, I never once let you out my sight.” He confesses.

It then hits you. “Was that you today?” You asked him and he nodded.

“It fucking broke me watching you from the distance but please, Y/N, understand it was for your protection.” He tells you.

You held onto his wrists, “San,” you licked your lips as you closed your eyes. “I just- I don’t know what to think or what to do.” You sniffed as you opened your eyes and looked at him. “Why now? Why now after all these years did you decide to come back?“

“I’m free,” he whispered to you, “I took care of everything.” He tells you and you felt a shiver go down your spine as you gulped. “Listen to me, they deserved it.” You remove his hands, feeling sick as you remembered the photos and documents.

He sighs in defeat. “Y/N, the things they have done to others,” he shakes his head, “it’s indescribable. What I did to them isn’t even half of what they have done.” That makes you feel even more in shock. Those photos and detailing was already horrible enough, you can’t imagine what they did to others.

You looked at the floor thinking. Does it kind of make you feel better that San basically did justice in killing bad guys? You don’t know. Are you trying to make an excuse? You don’t know. But one thing is certain, you were afraid. You looked at him as you let out a shaky breath, “Would you ever… hurt me?” You hesitantly asked him.

You saw as his face broke at your question. His heart dropped at your words. “What?” He whispered out. “I would never, ever do such a thing to you. You’re the love of my life. The reason I woke up and did what I did for the past five years just so I can be with you again. Y/N you changed me for the better.” He grabs your hand and placed it on his chest. “This is for you.” He says as you feel his heart beat, insinuating that it beats for you and only you.

“The man you saw in the photos and read in the documents that’s not me anymore. I gave up that life for you. I wanted to change for you. I love you, Y/N, believe that.” He pulls you to him as he cups your face once more.

You planned to never see San ever again in your life. As a matter of fact you wanted to kill him if he ever came across your way. But now listening to him and him explaining, granted he needs more explains to do, you can’t help but fucking want him again in your life. You fucking missed him.

You let out a whimper. “San,” you say, “I hate you so much. I hate that I missed you. I hate that I still love you.” You squeezed his wrists. San lets out a sad chuckle at your word, “I hate myself too. I hate for leaving you and for hurting you.”

You softly hit his chest once as you cried, not having any strength left in your body. You looked up at him, “Are you going to leave me again?” You asked him with tears in your eyes, in a broken voice that was full of pain.

He leans his forehead on yours, “Never. I will never leave you again.” You felt his rough hands roaming up and down your arms, giving you goosebumps. You bit your lower lip—fuck. It’s as if nothing has changed for the past five years. You just give into him so easily.

You looked into his eyes, love and lust swirling around. “Please,” he said lowly, as he wiped your tears with his thumbs, “Let me take care of you tonight.” He places a kiss below your ear, “Let me show you how sorry I am.” He trails kisses down your neck, “How much I’ve missed you.” He hovers his lips over yours.

You let out a sigh of satisfaction from his touches. You slightly nodded as you looked into his eyes. He leans in and captures your lips, you melted into his touch. He wasted no time in picking you up causing you to wrap your legs around him.

You gently tugged his hair as the kiss started to heat up. He glided a hand up your back, tugging your head back by your hair as he trails kisses down your neck to your collarbone. You let out a moan when he starts sucking on that sweet spot. You look back down to him and kissed him again.

“Mmm, where is the room?” He broke the kiss, panting slightly as he catches his breath. “Down the hall.” You whispered, panting as well.

—

He burst into the bedroom, both of you still in the heated kiss, closing the door with his leg as he walked and threw you on the bed. “San!” You yelped out in shock. You sat up as you clutched the towel that still covered your body, giving him an angry look as he hovers over you, “Don’t do that shi-“

He cuts you off with a kiss, “I’m sorry, baby.” He whispers to you, gently pushing you to lay back down on the bed, “I’ll be careful, okay?” He whispers in your ear, kissing below it. Bullshit but okay. Nice to know that something’s don’t change.

He sat up as he takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere behind him as he leans back down to kiss you. You unconsciously roam your hands all over his muscular arms, squeezing them as he grinds his clothes hard member against your bare throbbing, achy pussy.

His lips slowly moves down and stops at the top of your towel. He takes his forefinger and slowly drags it from your lips down to neck and between your breast. He never once took his eyes off you as he slowly unravels your towel. He looked at you as if you were a meal—starving and craving you for the past five years.

He leans down and latches onto your nipple while massaging the other one causing you to arch your back as you clench you pussy onto nothing. He exhaled a sigh of relief through his nose as his tongue flicks your harden nipple. He switches from one breast to the other.

He trails the kisses down your stomach making you inhale and exhale at his trailing wet kisses, making you excited for what’s to come. He gets off the bed, kneeling on the floor between your legs, hooking his arms underneath your legs as he drags you closer to him.

He places your thighs on his shoulders, kissing your inner thighs as he eyes your glistening pussy. His hands caress your thighs up and down. “San, please.” You begged to him, turning your head to the side in desperation as your chest heaves at his actions.

“Shh, baby, just relax.” His hot breath hovers over your throbbing area, making you clench once more. “Let me handle it, okay?” He asks you and watched as you nodded frantically causing him to smirk.

He then sucks on your clit, slightly hollowing his cheeks from the suction as he flicks his tongue on your sensitive bud. You let out a moan as he lays his tongue flat, moving his head up and down. You gripped on his head, using your free one to grip the sheets. The sounds of suction adds to your pleasure.

He reaches over your thighs, spreading your folds wasting no time to fuck you with his tongue. San swears this is the most beautiful state he has seen you in. Screaming as you arch your back, unable to deal with the pleasure as it takes over you.

He moves his tongue in and out your hole, feeling you clench around him. He moves his tongue all around your folds before going back in. He then freed one hand and uses his thumb to rub small circles on your clit. “Shit.” You breathed out turning your head side to side, gasping.

He freed his other hand and sticks in two fingers, curved upward, moving at a medium pace. “O-Oh!” You moaned out, throwing your head back as your mouth parts in delight, “Ri-Right there!” You gripped the pillow on either side of your head.

He continues the rubbing and fingering as he looks at you. His cheeks hurt but he doesn’t fucking care. “I missed you so much baby.” He said in a deep voice, “I’ve dreamt of this everyday for the past five years.”

He places a kiss on your inner thigh. “Can you cum for me?” He asked you before getting back down. He quickens the pace, sucking the lower half of your clit as he uses his thumb to rub the top part rapidly, adding pressure to it.

You screamed out his name as a mantra. “San! San, I’m going to cum!” You said as you looked down at him before throwing your head back. You clamped his head trapped between your thighs, feeling your orgasm building up. You fisted his hair as you breathed heavy.

“Shit! Shit!” You say as you screamed out as you reached your orgasm. All the built up emotions just released in that moment as you felt like you saw stars. You breathed out uncontrollably as he help you ride out your high with his fingers and mouth. Your shaky legs let go of the grip it had on his head as you tried collecting yourself.

He stands up and removes his pants and boxers in one go, watching you all fucked out on the bed. His member was leaking with precum, eager to feel you and to fill you up all deliciously. He hovers of you, getting between your legs, “You okay, baby?” He asks you.

“Yeah,” You breathed out as you lazily wrapped your arms over his neck, “That was amazing.” You lazily smile which caused him chuckle. You pull him to you, kissing him as you tasted yourself on his lips.

He pulls back, “Are you ready?” He asked you. You nodded at him, “Yes.” You whispered, wrapping your legs around his waist. He moves to his hand to align himself, both of you remaining eye contact. You closed your eyes as you feel his tip going in and then him full stretching you out. He drops his head down, feeling the tightness engulf him.

He takes a moment for you both, taking in the sensation. You can’t help but to clench down at him, enjoying this longed for feeling. He slowly starts to thrust back and forth, biting his lower lip. “Oh.” You moaned out in pleasure and a slight stinging pain from the stretching.

He kisses your lips. “You’re doing so good for me, baby.” He comforts you through the slight pain. “Are you gonna take what I give you?” He asked causing you to flutter your eyes open at him.

“Anything you give me, I’ll take it.” You nodded at him. As soon as you gave him the permission, he puts his hands behind your knees, moving them up to the sides of your head. He starts pounding in you causing him to groan out in delight as he closes his eyes, throwing his head back.

The position made you feel his rough thrusts deeper causing you to scream. The bed frame started hitting again the wall from how hard he was going. “You like that baby?” He asked you looking back down at you.

“Ye-Yes-s!” You managed to choke out. Your tits bounced from his actions as you tried finding something to grip onto, feeling overwhelmed. You then let out a gasp when you felt him dropping your legs, turning you to lay on your stomach.

He drags your hips up, quickly inserting himself back in as his hand forces to arch your back. He smacks your ass which makes you moan out, loving the stinging. “Touch yourself for me, baby.” He says. You adjusted yourself on your arm as you reached out and rubbed circles on your clit. The rubbing makes you clench on him, “Fuck,” he moans out, bed creaking underneath you both. “Fucking love when you do that.”

He then grabs a fist of your hair, pulling your head back. You whimpered at the pulling as he smacks your ass again. You whined as you bit your lower lip, loving how his balls smack against your clit. “You’re mine.” He leans down and whispers in your ear, hand sliding to your neck, squeezing it. “All mine.”

“All yours, San.” You say with the little air you have in your body. You then leaned forward when he lets go of you, gasping for air. But you have no time to compose yourself as he turns you around one last time, laying you on your back.

“Cum with me.” He tells you, rapidly thrusting into you. Your hands reached to his back, scratching it deeply as he rubs your clit. His balls hitting your ass as he tries chasing his high, letting out a low groan.

All the sounds from skin slapping to the bed frame legit about to break added to the electrifying atmosphere. He reaches up and holds your jaw in place, “I'm gonna cum.” You tell him. “Me too, baby. Cum with me.” He tells you as he leans down and kisses you.

A few more strokes and you both are moaning into each other’s mouths as you both came at the same time. He paints your walls white as his hips movements slowly starts to subside, riding out both of your highs. He collapses on top of you, both of you panting heavy. Hot, sweaty sticky bodies in each other’s embrace. Your hand reaches up and caresses his sweaty hair. “I love you.” He tells you as you feel the vibration in the crook of your neck.

“I love you too.” You tell him as you stare off to the ceiling, slowly closing your eyes as you felt the exhaustion take over, caressing movements subsiding in his hair.

—

You wake up with the sun shining in your eyes. You scrunched up your face as you turned away from the light, reaching out to feel San. You shot your eyes open when you didn’t feel him there. No, not again. You sit up straight, looking at the empty spot. “San?” You called out, looking out the door way— nothing answers you back.

You remove the covers off you hastily, ignoring the overall soreness in your body as you walked to your drawer grabbing underwear and oversize shirt. You quickly put them on as you walked out the room, “San- Oh.” You called out once more as you walked down the hallway but stopped abruptly in your steps.

All your overwhelming emotions flushed away when you saw San cooking in the kitchen. “Ah!” He screamed out in pain when a small drop of oil jumped onto his skin. You covered your mouth when you saw how he was standing— body arm length away, hips pushed out, completely away from the pan as his arms are extended out. One hand holds a fork and the other holding the handle of the pot.

Through the sizzling, San heard your chuckle, causing him to snap his head towards you. “The stupid oil burned me again!” He said with a pout.

You sighed out a chuckle as you shook your head. “Let me do it, you big baby.” You said smiling as you walked to him. You take the fork from his hand and flipped some bacon pieces. He crossed his arms, “I’m not a big baby.” He said in a whining tone.

You snorted. “Sure.” You say, eyeing the bacon as you smiled. “You have the temperature too hig-“ You froze in your words when you saw a ring on your ringer finger with a huge diamond on it. How did you miss this big ass rock?

You then felt arms wrap around your waist from behind, lips kissing on your neck. You let out a shocked scoff as you felt tears dwelling in. “I told you I was going to get you a ring with a big gem on it.” He smiles into the kisses on your neck.

You turned to him with tears falling down your cheeks. He smiles at your reaction, cupping your face as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears. “I love you.” You whispered to him.

“I love you so much more.” He tells you. “I promise I will make up for all my mistakes. You’re my life, Y/N. I will prove it to you.” He knows it’s going to take a long time before you fully trust him again, but this a first step for that.

After a moment of silence he grab your chin and places a few more kisses on your lips. “So,” he whispers which you hummed in response, “why don’t we start on those six kids, mm?”

You rolled your eyes, swiping his hand off your chin turning to focus on the bacon. “We are not having six kids, San!” You tell him, giving him a glare over your shoulder. You looked at the bacon and smirked, “Maybe we will have them when you stop being scared over cooking oil.” You teased him.

He let out an offended gasp. “Excuse me?!” He put a hand over his chest. He pursed his lips as he hip bumps you out the way and sassily takes the fork out of your hand. “Watch. I’m not scared of some stupid oil.” His voice trembling through the fake confidence.

He flinched slightly when he sees the oiling jumping all over the place causing you to burst out in laughter. You placed a kiss on his cheek, patting his back. “Sure baby.” You say crossing your arms as you leaned back on the counter.

He then shouts once more , dropping the fork on the counter when the oil jumped on his skin. “Forget it!” He said walking away with attitude which made you stifle a laugh.

He stops in his steps and turns around, a smirk growing on his face. He walks to you, “What are you doing?” You asked him as you stood up, standing with your guard up. He bends down and throws you over his shoulder as he heads to the bedroom. “We can start with one.” He said as you yelled at him to put you down as he smacked your ass. You don’t see it but you two are smiling at each other’s actions.

THE END

#choi san #ateez scenarios #ateez #san choi #ateez san #san ateez #san imagines #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez hard hours #ateez smut #ateez reactions #ateez choi san #san x reader

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reneesghostinthelivingroom · 3 days ago

Note

Vi x reader where they make love in the glowy mines? And the lights flicker on constantly from their noises and sounds?

Exploring

|| vi x fem!reader

|| Warnings; smut, season two spoilers, bottom Vi, top reader (though this switches), grinding, swearing, breast play, clit rubbing, playful banter, orgasm

|| Summary; reader and Vi splits from Jinx and Isha, deciding to have a bit of fun in the mines.

Requests closed!

Started; November 29th

Finished; November 30th

~~~

You and Vi had decided to go a different direction from Jinx and Isha. Splitting up to make the search for Vander go faster. Your hands clapped together every now and then. Keeping the glow present in the minds. Vi walked beside you. Her shoulder occasionally brushing yours with how close she was. She was always close. Vi didn't like being away from you. Even for a moment.

"I don't think we're gonna find him here, cute face," Vi commented, looking to you. You shrugged a bit and your eyes met. There was a certain hint of something in that look of hers. A look you'd come to know all too well.

"Is this your way of suggesting something?" You replied, a smirk on your lips. Realizing exactly where this was going. Vi looked back at where they'd come from. Checking to make sure they were alone. That Jinx and Isha were far off in the other direction. She shrugged and looked to you again.

"If you're down," Vi replied. Though she knew your answer. You'd never exactly been afraid to try new positions and locations. One of the many things she liked about you; you loved to explore. Especially when exploring meant... well, her.

Your lips were on hers in a matter of seconds. The lack of sound allowing for the glow to fade. You pushed her up against the wall, the lights in the area around them creating a glow on the impact. Your knee was between her legs. Your lips taking hers in a bruising kiss. Vi rushed to get your clothing off, grinding herself against your knee. Desperate to relieve.

The clothes were tossed to the side in no time at all. Both you and Vi exposed to the cool breeze of the cave against your skins. Her clit digging into your knee. Your knee pressing against her clit, hands to her hips to help with her movements. The glow started to fade, but the sound of Vi's moans brought it back.

"Fuck, don't stop." Vi muttered, her eyes closed and tight. Her hips moving faster, more desperate against you. You easily obeyed, after all you weren't looking to stop any time soon either.

"Wasn't planning on it," you murmured. Lips sucking against Vi's neck. Hand massaging her breasts. The glow began to fade again just as you got a little ahead of yourself with your movements. You stumbled to the floor of the cave, taking Vi with you. You grunted at the impact, the cave once again glowing. Vi laughed when she landed on you. Resting her arms against your chest, looking down at you with a smile.

"You okay, cute face?" She asked, straddling your hips now but staying still. Just in case you had been hurt. But when you nodded, her hips started grinding against you again. "Really need to be more careful," Vi said through pants. You rolled your eyes at her words. No, really?

"Gee, thanks," you huffed. Moaning at the feeling of her clit on yours. The banter quickly forgotten. Movements getting more desperate. Trying to chase your highs. The glows faded around you. Leaving you in darkness, though only for a moment before Vi's moan cut through the air. Her grip on you tightening while she reached her orgasm. Her hips trembled against you. The light filled the cave again.

Your own gasp followed, the knot that had formed in your stomach coming undone shortly after hers. Your back arching into Vi. Body trembling. Your leg jerked. Vi watched you with a smirk. Leaning herself back, hands rested against the cave floor.

"Wanna see if we can sneak in another round?" Vi asked, panting between her words. Your nod was all she needed to keep going. Luckily for the two of you, Jinx and Isha remained completely unaware. Still on their search for Vander. Something both you and Vi had completely forgotten about.

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seitmai · 17 minutes ago

Text

I loved this and therefore have many thoughts

When you were gifted to Lucius, you braced yourself for the brutal ways of his world, where strength ruled above all else, and men like him took what they wanted without hesitation. But he never did. Instead, Lucius treated you with something you hadn’t expected: respect and kindness. His touch only ever lingered long enough to offer reassurance, never to claim.

🥹🥹🥹

In time you both learned to play your parts to survive. By day, Lucius was the victorious gladiator, and you, his spoil of war. They were roles neither of you had chosen, but ones you took on to survive. The night became your refuge, a time where the weight of your reality could be put aside, if only for a while. Curled around one another on the thin cot the ghosts of your past weren’t silenced but shared through whispered admissions. You could speak of the people you had once been – before Rome twisted you both into something unrecognizable.

They have each other 🥺

“You must eat too,” Lucius commands. “You will need your strength for later.” His rough words carry no real threat, but you react like they do, tucking your chin to your chest in a subtle gesture of submission. At times, it feels like a performance—like you're both actors on a stage, with an unseen audience watching every move.

Unfortunately the roles of their lives

“Flesh is not so different from cloth,” you reply. “A far cry from mending fishing nets,” he says, and for a moment, your eyes meet and you share a small, pained smile. “And you are a long way from a farm, gladiator,” you acknowledge, shaking your head.

I love that they share those small moments 🥹

“You should not challenge him.” Lucius steps away, anger rolling off him in waves. “And you should not submit so easily.” You touch your throat, then turn away to busy yourself with the bloody scraps of cloth and scattered supplies. There’s no point in arguing. You know the truth: that sometimes submission is the only way to survive in a world ruled by men like Macrinus.

Unfortunately she is very right 💔

Lucius jerks back as if struck, his body stiffening in shock while cold dread settles over your shoulder as you both understand Macrinus’s meaning. He watches the small exchange between the two of you with amusement. “Or, if you prefer not to,” he offers, watching Lucius intently. His voice is smooth with mock consideration as he continues speaking. “I’m sure another gladiator would gladly take your place.”

It's truly a vicious game Macrinus is playing with their lives 🤢

You almost wish you could let him fight, but you know better. You step closer to Lucius, your presence a quiet plea for him to stop. It takes a moment before he meets your gaze and when he does you see the pain beneath the rage, the knowledge that this moment is slipping beyond his control. There’s no glory in this—only survival. Yet that truth doesn’t make it any easier to watch the fire in his eyes fade as he steps back. It’s the kind of defeat that no arena or battle could ever impose on him.

This is rough💔

Without a word, Lucius steps closer and his hands come to rest on your hips, guiding you to sit on the edge of the table. When he moves between your legs, you can’t read his expression. Unexpectedly, one of his large hands cups the side of your face, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheekbone. He leans in, his forehead pressing against yours. “Focus on me,” he urges. “It is just us here, no one else matters. Do not think of them. Do not think of anything but me.” His words are a command and a reassurance all at once, grounding you in the moment even as your pulse quickens.

🥺🥺🥺

The murmurs of the observers increase, and you feel them shift, edging closer. Then, a woman’s gasp cuts through the tension, followed by a wave of hushed surprise that ripples through the gathered Romans. When you open your eyes you can only see the top of Lucius’s head from where he kneels between your thighs. Guilty anticipation zips through you, followed by a spark of heat that flickers low in your stomach at the sudden realization of what he intends to do.

The audacity of them to be shocked 😒

Lucius builds your pleasure with slow, steady strokes while his calloused hands knead your thighs. His touch is an anchor and spark all at once. There is little resistance when he curls a finger inside. A second joins the first a moment later and without thought, you thread your fingers into his curls. A long, shuddering moan leaves him, and the vibration tightens the coil in your belly. Lucius’s touch grows rougher and more demanding. He drinks from you like he’s starved for it, as if every drop is the only thing keeping him alive while his fingers work you open. You come with a throaty cry, your hips leaving the table. Every nerve in your body is alight. You cannot help but hold Lucius against you until the mere brush of his nose against your center makes you quake again, sending waves of warmth through your veins. As much as you want him to stop, you’re desperate for him to continue and keep you in this moment where nothing but the two of you exist.

🥵🥵🥵

You open your mouth but the words you want to say seem to get caught, trapped somewhere between your chest and your lips. To your surprise, wetness gathers at the corner of your eyes. But even that feels like something you can't fully surrender to. You’re trapped in this strange, painful moment where nothing feels real and everything feels too real all at once. It’s all too much – his tenderness and the horror of the situation. There’s a subtle, almost imperceptible shift in Lucius’s expression in response, but it’s enough to reveal something beneath the surface and allow you to see the guilt he bears. The lines around his eyes seem to deepen and the tension in his expression makes him look older, wearier, and more vulnerable than you've ever seen him. The desire to soothe him is enough to break the strange spell on you.

Their non verbal communication and connection is just so intense and beautiful 🥹🥰

"All is well," you assure him, gently brushing your nose against his. “I am no maiden.” You breathe his name, soft and pleading, and he stills, the clench of his jaw betraying the war within. “It is only us,” you remind him, repeating his own words back to him. He stares down at you, nostrils flaring and then suddenly he bows his head. You feel the fight leave him as he chooses restraint over the violence you both know he’s capable of. "Only us," he replies, strained.

“Sweet girl,” Lucius sighs, pulling back just far enough to meet your gaze. The tenderness in his eyes is unexpected. Since Macrinus gifted you to Lucius nearly six months ago, you’ve shared many looks; full of pain and grief, anger and understanding, but this is something new, fragile. You stroke his cheek and he surges forward, kissing you roughly.

🥰🥹🥰🥹

A titter of applause follows from the audience as though they’ve witnessed something to be praised. Lucius pulls away and you wince as he slips from inside you. A trickle of his seed follows and cold air blankets your body. You curl in on yourself, feeling vulnerable and anxious. When Lucius moves to stand, he carefully pulls your dress to cover you. Then, he helps you upright, and draws you into his side, shielding you with his body. He lifts his chin and offers the crowd a sharp, almost vicious smirk that’s more a baring of teeth than a smile.

Damn his protectiveness is so hot 😮‍💨

Ahhhh, he is so swoonable🥹🥰

“What has changed?” “Surely you must know,” he whispers, regarding you softly. You shake your head, a quick, instinctive denial, but a deeper part of you already understands. Or perhaps, hopes you do. “You," he says simply. "It feels right," he continues, his voice softer now, but no less certain. "As easy as breathing."

"I'll send word to my mother in the morning," he replies. "You and she must leave Rome. It’s the only way." You shake your head, unwilling to part from him. “I will come for you when it is safe,” he promises, capturing your lips in another kiss before he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. "But tonight… tonight, I need you again. Will you have me?” He questions.

🥹🥹🥹

“Ride me,” he pleads desperately, framing your hips with his hands. He gazes up at you with such a mix of desperation and love that you couldn’t deny him, even if you wanted to. The shudder he gives when you take him in hand emboldens you to stroke his length.

I do love a desperate man that is hopelessly in love 🤭

He groans and pushes his head back, exposing his thickly corded neck. You rise up and sink down on him slowly, savoring each inch. It’s near perfect how he fills you, and even though you’re still sore from earlier, the blend of pain and pleasure thrills you too much to stop. “Your dress,” he pants, “remove it. Please. I want to see you. All of you.”

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

You’ve always felt safe in Lucius’s arms, but now, you feel loved in a way you never dreamed you’d experience again. It’s a kind of peace that settles into you, filling all the broken, hollow spaces in your heart where your grief and pain have lingered for so long.

I absolutely LOVED this and would love to read another part of this if you ever feel up to it 👏🏻🫶🏻

Post tenebras lux

Summary: You are gifted to Lucius as a reward for his prowess in the arena. Pairing: Lucius Verus x F!Reader Word Count: 5.9 K Rating: Explicit, 18+ only. Heavy angst with a HEA, dubious consent (reader and Lucius are coerced into having sex), public sex (PIV and f receiving), mentions of spousal death, and brief descriptions of blood/injuries from combat in the arena. A/N: I futzed with the timeline in this fic. Instead of coming home after conquering Numidia General Acacius is sent out on another campaign for the emperors. Also, fun fact — the Romans considered oral sex taboo. A HUGE thanks to @aliensupastar, my beloved B, @clairewritesandrambles, @ryebecca, and @faebirdie for their help with the fic. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.

The warm steam of the bath clings to the air, thick and heavy, as you move past the large pools where gladiators soak and laugh. Their rough voices fill the humid air and the afternoon sun filters through the open atrium, casting a muted, golden glow across the water. None of the men bother you as you make your way to the quiet alcove at the far end of the room. If Lucius's reputation in the arena hadn’t been enough to keep them away, the man whose hand he took for daring to touch you certainly was.

You’d learned quickly that in this place violence was power, and your gladiator wielded it well. It was a far cry from your life as a fisherman‘s wife, and then as a slave in Macrinus’s household. When you were gifted to Lucius, you braced yourself for the brutal ways of his world, where strength ruled above all else, and men like him took what they wanted without hesitation. But he never did. Instead, Lucius treated you with something you hadn’t expected: respect and kindness. His touch only ever lingered long enough to offer reassurance, never to claim.

Trust came with time. And now, as you approach the alcove where he waits, you can feel some of the tension leave your body. You are safe with Lucius, a thought that would have been absurd to you just months ago.

You shift the small wooden tray — laden with fresh bread, olives, figs, and a jug of strong wine — to your other hip. The soft scrape of your sandals against the stone floor alerts Lucius to your presence. His dark gaze lifts from the water, meeting yours with the quiet intensity that you’ve come to expect. Even in the haze of sweat and steam, his presence is impossible to ignore.

Where others would let their gaze wander lower, drifting toward the rest of his bare form submerged beneath the water, you always look at his face. It‘s there that you find what you seek: the sharp edges of your own pain and anger mirrored in his dark eyes. It’s a reflection of the hurt you carry, of all that Rome took from you both.

“You fought well today,” you say, settling beside the pool, the water lapping at the stone.

The words come easily, practiced—part of the familiar routine you’ve both come to rely on. Though the bath is quiet and you seem to be alone, you know better. You’ve learned the hard way that the walls have ears. Every word, every glance, carries weight here, and even in the relative solitude of this alcove, your interactions could be reported back to Macrinus. Only when you’re hidden away in the cell you share each night can you let the pretense fall away.

Lucius hums in response as he lets his head fall back against the cool stone. His muscled arm rests on the edge of the pool and you offer him a brief, gentle touch before withdrawing. The tension in his frame eases a fraction and his eyes flutter closed, but the sharpness of his presence doesn’t fade. He’s aware of every shift in the air, every sound around him. Even in the quiet comfort of this place, Lucius is never truly off guard.

You pick up a ripe fig, its skin velvety and fragrant, and drag it slowly through the warmed honey. Gently, you bring it to his lips, offering it with a quiet gesture. Lucius sighs—softly, almost imperceptibly—and then his lips part, taking the fruit from your fingers. As he bites into it, you feel the heat of his tongue brush against your skin. You try to ignore the traitorous feeling that springs to life in your belly. That feeling has become a frequent companion, one you never asked for, and one that sits uneasily beside the grief you still carry for your late husband.

“You must eat too,” Lucius commands. “You will need your strength for later.”

His rough words carry no real threat, but you react like they do, tucking your chin to your chest in a subtle gesture of submission. At times, it feels like a performance—like you're both actors on a stage, with an unseen audience watching every move. You eat in silence until the tray is bare and the goblet empty. When he rises from the pool, water cascading from his sun-kissed skin, you reach for the fresh robe laid carefully over the stone bench.

“Do you wish…” you begin, lifting your eyes to Lucius, only to falter at his expression. His eyes flicker briefly past you, and then, just as swiftly, return. He gives no warning before he pulls you forward and drags you into the water. Your cry of surprise is swallowed by the splash your bodies make as ripples spread outward. The wet robes cling to you like a heavy second skin and you sink deeper into the water.

“I’ll have you here,” Lucius announces loudly. He grasps your biceps and easily forces you to straddle him. Your face shields his from the outside world. His expression softens and even as his lips part to speak, you shake your head, stopping him before the words can leave his mouth.

You understand, without needing to hear it. The two of you are no longer alone.

He leans back, arms stretched along the edge of the bath. “Ride me,” he commands.

You struggle out of the heavy outer robe and your knuckles unwittingly brush over his abdomen. Lucius tenses beneath you. You offer him a quiet apology before withdrawing and rising to your knees. Your hips shift forward in a facsimile of his request, meeting nothing but a swell of water as you keep a careful distance from his body. He groans and you answer him with a quiet moan of your own. You rise up and down almost mechanically, staring at the chipped stone above his head. His hot breath fans over your neck, the heat of it lingering on your skin. You shudder as a warmth that has nothing to do with the pool gathers under your skin, shame twisting your insides.

Lucius grabs your waist urging you to move faster, and the sounds of his pleasure rise in intensity. The muscles of your thighs protest, burning with effort as you hold the distance between your bodies. The air around you shifts and the murmur of conversation in the other pools begins to fade as the gladiators are drawn in, listening to your performance. The silence grows almost suffocating, but you force yourself to push through the charade. This is just one of many indignities you’ve endured since Rome descended onto the sleepy fishing village you called home. It pales to what could await you if it were gifted to a different gladiator.

“Fuck,” Lucius growls loudly, abruptly stilling your movement to feign his pleasure.

After a beat you gather the courage to look over your shoulder, meeting Viggo’s stare. You tense. Calloused fingertips brush lightly over your jaw, drawing your attention back to Lucius. You stare down at him, taking in the light flush of his dusky cheeks and the steady rise and fall of his chest. His touch lingers for a moment more before his hand disappears beneath the water.

“Use my robe to cover yourself,” he instructs roughly.

It’s then that you realize how transparent your dress has become in the water. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment and you slide away, only to freeze when your thigh brushes over an unexpected hardness. Your eyes jump to his and Lucius’s throat bobs, the usual intensity of his features faltering for a brief moment.

"I will fetch more wine," you stammer after a pause, your gaze flicking nervously to Viggo still lingering at the edge of the bath, all too aware that Lucius cannot leave in this state.

Wrapping your arms around your chest, you rise from the pool. The cool air instantly prickles your damp skin. You reach for a robe nearby and pull it around you quickly, grateful for its modesty. Viggo shoots you a brief, assessing glance, but it’s Lucius who commands his attention next.

"Come to admire what isn't yours?" Lucius taunts.

He leans back casually, as though completely unfazed by the situation. It’s effortless the way he slips into his confident, unshakable mask while you hurry away, eager to break the silence and escape the strange weight of the moment.

–

The clang and clash of metal from the arena become a distant hum, fading into the background as you clean the wounds on Lucius's body. Ravi is occupied, tending to the more seriously injured men, so it falls to you to care for your gladiator. You kneel between his thighs and the coarse sand scrapes against the soft skin of your knees. The heat of the day clings to you both, the air thick with the smell of sweat and blood. But beneath it all, there's a scent you’ve come to recognize as uniquely his — a mix of earth and salt that’s oddly comforting.

You gently press a cloth to one of the deeper gashes, cleaning away the blood before you begin stitching the wound. Lucius hisses as you draw the needle through his parted skin, and you glance up at him in concern, but his eyes are closed, his breath steady despite the discomfort. His fingers curl into the edge of the cot, gripping it tightly. You smear the thick, fragrant paste Ravi left over the wound once you’re done.

“You’re getting better at this,” Lucius observes.

“Flesh is not so different from cloth,” you reply.

“A far cry from mending fishing nets,” he says, and for a moment, your eyes meet and you share a small, pained smile.

“And you are a long way from a farm, gladiator,” you acknowledge, shaking your head.

You help him stand, your hands steady as you support his weight, but you pause when you spot Viggo standing in the doorway. Lately, he seems to haunt your every step, his presence a constant shadow. On instinct you shift a little closer to Lucius, your body seeking the reassurance of his proximity just as he draws you near. The subtle movement doesn’t go unnoticed. A small, knowing smile tugs at Viggo’s lips. It’s a look that sends a trickle of unease down your spine.

“Macrinus is entertaining some important guests tomorrow evening, and you are required to attend,” he announces looking at Lucius. “They wish to see a real gladiator up close, to witness your strength and skill firsthand.”

Then, to your surprise, Viggo turns his gaze toward you. “Your presence is also required,” he adds. Although his tone is casual there's an edge to it that makes your stomach tighten.

Lucius doesn’t speak, but his fingers flex against your hip as he considers the other man’s command. You both know there’s little room for refusal when it comes to Macrinus.

“I understand-” you say at the same time Lucius’s voice cuts through the silence, low and firm.

“She is not needed. I alone will attend.”

His gaze never leaves Viggo, and you can see the challenge in his eyes. It’s an attempt to shield you, one you appreciate but understand is futile.

Viggo’s smile remains unchanged. “Macrinus insists.”

The matter is settled and you bow your head, waiting for the other man to leave. Once he is gone you look to Lucius, voice tinged with concern.

“You should not challenge him.”

Lucius steps away, anger rolling off him in waves. “And you should not submit so easily.”

You touch your throat, then turn away to busy yourself with the bloody scraps of cloth and scattered supplies. There’s no point in arguing. You know the truth: that sometimes submission is the only way to survive in a world ruled by men like Macrinus. As you work the silence between you stretches on, thick and charged before Lucius steps toward you.

He sighs, his breath warm against the back of your neck. A moment later, his hand rests on your shoulder. The calloused pads of his fingers graze the nape of your neck, sending a fleeting sense of unexpected longing through you as they briefly sweep over your skin.

“I….” His voice trails off and you close your eyes.

“I know,” you say quietly.

So much of what transpires between you seems left unsaid. You reach back, your hand finding his briefly as the two of you share a quiet moment before he must return to the arena.

–

The bangles on your wrist are heavy and ornate, far too extravagant for a slave. They feel less like adornments and more like shackles. Beside you, Lucius looks equally as uncomfortable in his fine clothes. They’ve trimmed his beard and his tunic—lined with gold thread—glimmers in the dim light. From across the room, Macrinus raises his goblet to the two of you. All around you his guests mingle, sharing hushed conversation and knowing smirks that deepen your discomfort.

The servants, once familiar to you from your time as a slave working in Macrinus's kitchen, all avoid your gaze. You spent years alongside them before you were plucked from that world and thrust into Lucius's service. Their hesitation, the way they look past you, is more than simple discomfort, it’s a warning you don’t yet understand. Your fingers tremble where they rest on Lucius’s arm.

“Something is not right,” you whisper, fear rising in your throat.

Before Lucius can reply, the conversation around you falters, and the air grows still as Macrinus moves to the center of the room. Then, with a sharp clap of his hands, the noise dies completely.

“Our entertainment is about to begin,” he announces, beckoning you forward.

As you approach, his eyes drift between you and Lucius. His smile widens, though it never quite reaches his eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your meal. You’ll both need your strength for the show,” he says.

“I am to fight?” Lucius questions, his voice edged with suspicion.

“No, not today,” Macrinus replies. “My guests are eager for a performance of another kind.”

Your brow furrows and Lucius stares blankly at Macrinus until two servants, moving in unison, pull a table forward. It is laden with the remnants of the earlier feast — half-finished plates, empty goblets, and discarded silverware. They work to clear away the table until it is left bare.

“It is no bed, but it’s finer than your cot,” Macrinus assures.

“Or, if you prefer not to,” he offers, watching Lucius intently. His voice is smooth with mock consideration as he continues speaking. “I’m sure another gladiator would gladly take your place.”

“No,” Lucius snarls. Before he can move, you dig your nails into his forearm, trying desperately to hold him in place.

Macrinus leans in close, his next words meant only for the two of you. “I expect a good show. Not like that mummer's farce in the bath.”

Ugly surprise washes over you as the full reality of your situation sinks in. Beside you, Lucius shifts and you see the familiar spark in his eyes. It’s the look he gets before a fight when the fire that lives inside him is ready to explode and consume everything in its path. You’ve seen it a thousand times in the arena, and it always ends the same way: with blood.

There’s no glory in this—only survival. Yet that truth doesn’t make it any easier to watch the fire in his eyes fade as he steps back. It’s the kind of defeat that no arena or battle could ever impose on him.

“My guests are eager for the show,” Macrinus says and gestures to the table.

You straighten your shoulders, willing your body to follow the courage your mind struggles to summon. Lucius follows with heavy footsteps. You stop before the table, heart pounding, and take a slow, steadying breath to gather your resolve before you turn to face your gladiator. You know the role you’re meant to play, this moment is just another part of the spectacle your life has become.

“Focus on me,” he urges. “It is just us here, no one else matters. Do not think of them. Do not think of anything but me.”

His words are a command and a reassurance all at once, grounding you in the moment even as your pulse quickens.

When he speaks again, his voice is louder, carrying across the room. “Lay back.”

The table is hard and cold beneath you as you follow his instruction, the chill seeping through the thin silks you wear. Lucius pulls you forward until you’re at the very edge, your legs hanging loosely off the sides. Gently, your dress is peeled away until you’re bare to him. His broad frame blocks the crowd from seeing much but you still feel vulnerable and exposed. You curl your fingers into the palms of your hands, trying to remember Lucius’s words as you close your eyes.

“Barbaric,” a man utters, his voice thick with disdain.

“Now now,” Macrinus says with a slight chuckle. “Remember, our gladiator hails from Numidia. Their customs are not ours."

The first touch from Lucius is barely there, a whisper of contact against your inner thigh, but it grows firmer the higher his fingers climb. Instinctively, you hold your breath, waiting for him to reach the most sacred part of you. At the first touch of his mouth to you, the rest of the world fades away.

You come with a throaty cry, your hips leaving the table. Every nerve in your body is alight. You cannot help but hold Lucius against you until the mere brush of his nose against your center makes you quake again, sending waves of warmth through your veins. As much as you want him to stop, you’re desperate for him to continue and keep you in this moment where nothing but the two of you exist.

Lucius pulls away and reality crashes in with starting clarity while the eyes of the crowd cut through you like a thousand sharp edges. Before it all overwhelms you, he climbs onto the table. He lowers himself onto his forearms and the weight of him presses against you.

“Eyes on me,” he murmurs.

There’s a subtle, almost imperceptible shift in Lucius’s expression in response, but it’s enough to reveal something beneath the surface and allow you to see the guilt he bears. The lines around his eyes seem to deepen and the tension in his expression makes him look older, wearier, and more vulnerable than you've ever seen him. The desire to soothe him is enough to break the strange spell on you.

"All is well," you assure him, gently brushing your nose against his. “I am no maiden.”

“Fuck her already,” a voice shouts and Lucius pulls back, his handsome face twisting into a snarl. You feel the tension in his muscles, coiling like a spring, ready to snap—and a knot of anxiety tightens in your chest.

You breathe his name, soft and pleading, and he stills, the clench of his jaw betraying the war within. “It is only us,” you remind him, repeating his own words back to him.

He stares down at you, nostrils flaring and then suddenly he bows his head. You feel the fight leave him as he chooses restraint over the violence you both know he’s capable of.

"Only us," he replies, strained.

You hold his gaze as you feel his knuckles brush against your inner thigh to line himself up. He pushes inside slowly and you lift your hips. Your body welcomes him with only the briefest flare of pain, eased by his earlier attention.

“Oh,” you gasp.

Your eyes close as he fills you completely. The sensation is both comforting and alien all at once. You can’t help but think of your late husband, so different from Lucius in every way. You wonder fleetingly if the man above you is thinking of his lost love too. Does that unspoken grief weigh on him as heavily as it does on you?

Before your mind can wander further, Lucius begins to move and your thoughts fizzle out. He curls his powerful body over yours and keeps up a steady pace that makes your skin buzz. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and the smell of him surrounds you, familiar and comforting. As you move together each breath and shift of your body becomes a silent conversation between only the two of you.

“Gods,” he groans into your ear. “You take me so well.”

His unexpected praise has you rocking into him, needy for more. The table creaks each time he thrusts back into you. His lips trail along your neck and you feel that familiar climb to ecstasy begin, like a delicate crescendo inside you. Your nails dig into his skin and his rhythm stutters.

“Sweet girl,” Lucius sighs, pulling back just far enough to meet your gaze.

The tenderness in his eyes is unexpected. Since Macrinus gifted you to Lucius nearly six months ago, you’ve shared many looks; full of pain and grief, anger and understanding, but this is something new, fragile. You stroke his cheek and he surges forward, kissing you roughly.

His lips on yours are a revelation. A storm of emotion rolls through your chest, crystallizing into the realization that you want him. You long for him in a way that goes beyond the need for protection, or a desire for connection. You grasp his face in both hands, your fingers trembling against the hard line of his jaw, and return the kiss with urgency. It’s desperate, almost frantic, as though you’re trying to pull him closer, to merge with him in a way that makes the world outside of the two of you disappear.

He responds with a sharp thrust, angled so perfectly that it sends a flash of heat up your spine. You taste yourself on him when his tongue delves into your mouth. He hardly lets you catch a breath as he pours himself into you over and over until another orgasm washes through you. It’s more intense than the last, bleeding into his own as he comes with a quiet moan.

He gives a few more thrusts and stills, his lips hovering over yours as you share the same air. Your thumbs stroke the soft skin under his eyes and you hold his gaze. In the depths of it, you feel a thousand words rising in your chest, aching to spill out, but you are all too aware you’re not alone.

Before you let the world back in you tilt your chin up, lips brushing over his in a slow, tender kiss that he returns with heartbreaking gentleness. When you finally pull apart, the applause from Macrinus makes you flinch, and Lucius’s expression clouds over.

“What a performance,” Macrinus exclaims.

“I thought you might fuck like you fight,” Macrinus says. He lays a hand on Lucius’s shoulder like they are old friends and leans close. “I’m pleased to see that I was wrong.”

There’s some other meaning in his words that you don’t catch but Lucius seems to understand. Anger flickers across his face, but beneath it, you see something more unsettling, something you’ve never seen before. Fear.

“We will do a great many things together, I think,” Macrinus continues in a pleased tone, his gaze lingering on the hand Lucius settles possessively on your hip. “A great many things.”

This time when he smiles it reaches his eyes; cold, calculating, and full of something far more sinister.

You spend the rest of the party seated on Lucius’s lap, his arm banded around your waist while the other rests on your thigh. He’s tense and angry as you expect but his focus seems distant, lost somewhere far beyond the room. He rubs the fabric of your dress between his thumb and forefinger, the motion almost absentminded. The wine you sip is overly sweet and sits like a sour stone in your belly. Neither of you speak. Occasionally, some guests, perhaps emboldened by drink or bravery, approach, but Lucius quickly sends them on their way with nothing more than a look.

Only once the party dies down are you dismissed by Viggo. On the journey back to your cell Lucius’s grip on you remains firm, as if he's afraid you might slip away. He doesn't speak, and you notice every so often, his free hand curls into a tight fist at his side, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. It’s not until the door closes behind you, locking you both inside the small, dimly lit space, that Lucius finally speaks.

"You know my true name,” he begins pacing the length of the cell. “But there are things I have not told you."

He speaks slowly, each word carefully measured, as though he’s weighing the cost of revealing what’s hidden. He tells you the truth of his origin, and with each sentence, you sink deeper into the thin cot you both share, the weight of his words pressing down on you. When he finally falls silent, you remain there, frozen. A thousand thoughts flood your mind, but none of them seem to form into anything coherent.

"Does this mean-" you begin, words faltering as you try to process the magnitude of what he’s revealed to you. “Does this mean… you are the rightful emperor?”

“I am.” There’s no pride in his admission, only worry. He releases a harsh breath through his nose like he’s trying to clear something from his chest before he speaks again. “There is a plan in place, with my mother and Acacius, but he will not return from Persia for several weeks yet. We cannot wait for them.”

“What has changed?”

“Surely you must know,” he whispers, regarding you softly.

You shake your head, a quick, instinctive denial, but a deeper part of you already understands. Or perhaps, hopes you do.

“You," he says simply.

It’s the way he says it, so certain and knowing, that makes your breath catch. You stare at him and your heart throbs in your chest, low and sweet like a song.

“I never thought I could want someone again,” he admits. His unexpected words summon the ghost of all you've both lost, and they rise between you like a shadow, lingering for a long painful moment. "I thought it would feel like..." His words trail off.

“A betrayal,” you finish for him, keenly aware of what he must feel.

The vulnerable look on his face awakens something deep and real inside you that you never expected to feel again. You rise from the cot without thinking and move to stand before him.

"It feels right," he continues, his voice softer now, but no less certain. "As easy as breathing."

And then he kisses you, tentative at first, before he grasps your jaw, seeking more of you. The way he holds you, possessively, protectively, makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters, like you're his lifeline in a world that’s about to crumble. It fills you with such longing that you chase his lips when they part from yours.

"Macrinus knows now. And he is planning something," Lucius says, his voice tight with urgency, "and whatever it is, it will be at odds with the good of Rome. He will use you to get to me. And I cannot lose you."

“What will you do?” You ask.

"I'll send word to my mother in the morning," he replies. "You and she must leave Rome. It’s the only way."

You shake your head, unwilling to part from him.

“I will come for you when it is safe,” he promises, capturing your lips in another kiss before he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. "But tonight… tonight, I need you again. Will you have me?” He questions.

You answer him with your lips and he gathers you in his arms. The coarseness of his beard against your chin and the firm press of his lips to yours ignites a bone-deep need within. Suddenly all the danger, the uncertainty, and the inevitability of what’s to come fades into the background. It's just the two of you, the heat of his touch, the depth of his kiss, and the unspoken promise in his embrace.

When he pulls you down on the cot, urging you on top of him, you let his momentum carry you.

“Ride me,” he pleads desperately, framing your hips with his hands.

He gazes up at you with such a mix of desperation and love that you couldn’t deny him, even if you wanted to. The shudder he gives when you take him in hand emboldens you to stroke his length. He groans and pushes his head back, exposing his thickly corded neck. You rise up and sink down on him slowly, savoring each inch. It’s near perfect how he fills you, and even though you’re still sore from earlier, the blend of pain and pleasure thrills you too much to stop.

“Your dress,” he pants, “remove it. Please. I want to see you. All of you.”

You pull the fabric from your body and shed the bangles on your wrist while Lucius removes his tunic. You’re familiar with every inch of his body from tending to his wounds and time in the bathhouse, but you gaze down at him now with renewed appreciation, resting your hands on his firm shoulders. His eyes are filled with affection and desire as they roam your body.

“You’re beautiful,” he praises.

He cups your breasts and draws his thumbs across your nipples until they grow hard. The touch sends sparks of pleasure along your nerves and you twitch around him. He moans and rolls his hips. His arms encircle you, holding you close while he fucks you with strong, powerful thrusts. You bury your face in his neck and drag his skin between your teeth. He answers your action with a groan.

“Gods, the way you feel. You’re perfect,” he praises.

You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, moving your hips to take him deeper. You gasp his name and arch your back, rocking forward with an urgent need that eclipses everything else. For the first time in what feels like forever, you close your eyes and let yourself simply feel. There’s no need to shield yourself, no barriers to maintain.

“Look at me,” Lucius begs, grasping your waist to take control of your movements.

Your eyes flutter open and meet his, the beginning of your orgasm rising to the surface like a tide pushing its way to shore. It grows steadily until it finally crashes over you, flooding your senses and leaving you breathless in its wake. Lucius finds his own end moments after with a low, shuddering gasp. It takes several moments for your breathing to return to normal and when it does Lucius sweeps his hands up your sides comfortingly.

"Stay with me like this,” he asks.

You acquiesce and he gently guides you to rest your cheek against his chest. His hand slides to the middle of your back, his palm warm and steady as he holds you close. Even though he remains inside you still your body relaxes, pooling in his. You close your eyes and listen to the steady drum of his heart, feeling a profound sense of stillness.

Whatever comes next, his love and strength are something you can hold onto. And for now, that is all you need.

♡

My inbox is open for your thoughts on Lucius and requests for drabbles with his character for General Acacius (but I will pretend he is not married to Lucilla).

I am also happy to write a little epilogue for this story if there is an interest.

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theonottsbxtch · 9 hours ago

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HEYYY SO HAPPY YOU HIT 1.5K

sososos proud of you!!

can I order one 🥐 croissant with either mafia max or mafia Oscar where it’s a marriage of convenience and the reader gets kidnapped and prior to her being taken away they argued and it hits harder for max or osc just super angsty I know you’ll do amazing

🤠anon

omg!! bro JUST IMAGINE MAD MAX RAHHHHH

the silence of the monaco penthouse was louder than any argument they’d ever had. she had slept in the spare room last night, the cool detachment between them a sharp contrast to their usual fiery exchanges. his words still rang in her ears: “you always think you know better. just stay out of it next time.” he hadn’t meant it—not really. she had snapped back, accusing him of arrogance, and stormed off before either of them could apologise.

now, max was pacing the vast, empty living room with a glass of whiskey in hand, he felt the gnaw of regret. she always managed to make him feel something—whether it was fury, exasperation, or the quiet pull of emotions he had never intended to feel. but today was different. the eerie calm in the air made his skin itch.

she was late.

the call came just as lando burst into the room, face ashen. "she’s gone."

the whiskey glass shattered on the floor.

“what the fuck do you mean, gone?” max’s voice was a low growl, the kind that sent men running.

lando hesitated. "there was... an ambush. two cars intercepted her. we’ve tracked them to the outskirts of nice, but they’re gone now. it’s—they’ve taken her."

his world narrowed to a singular point of rage. he didn’t ask who “they” were. he didn’t care. whoever had dared to touch her would regret it for the rest of their brief, miserable lives.

he tore through monaco like a storm, leaving destruction in his wake. contacts who dared stall for information found their livelihoods—and sometimes their lives—torn apart. the once-calm leader was now a man unhinged, driven by a need he couldn’t even name. when he was young he’d been known as max, and now he felt that same young man leading.

“where is she?” he demanded, pinning george against the wall of a seedy nightclub hours later. blood dripped from the man’s nose, his breath wheezing as he stammered, “th-they wanted leverage! to make you back down from the port deal—”

“wrong move.” his voice was a death sentence.

george’s screams echoed in the alley, but he didn’t flinch. all he could see was her face—the way she’d glare at him, lips parted as she spat out a retort. the way she’d softened lately, brushing his hand absentmindedly as they passed each other. the way she’d kissed him once, unguarded, like she wasn’t supposed to but couldn’t stop herself.

his chest ached, a sensation he wasn’t accustomed to. it wasn’t just fury driving him—it was fear. a raw, unrelenting terror that something might happen to her before he could say what he should have said last night: “i don’t hate you. i never have.”

hours later, he finally found the hideout.

the air inside was damp, the walls crumbling. he moved silently, his gun drawn, his jaw clenched. when he saw her, tied to a chair in the center of the room, blood marring her temple, something inside him snapped.

the ferrari guards barely had time to react before he gunned them down.

when it was over, she looked up, dazed, as he knelt before her.

“you’re okay,” he murmured, his hands trembling as they cupped her face. “you’re okay.” but he was comforting himself more than her.

her voice was hoarse. “took you long enough.”

despite everything, she managed a weak smirk. he huffed out a breathless laugh, his forehead pressing against hers. “don’t ever do that to me again.”

“pretty sure it wasn’t my choice.”

he untied her carefully, as though she might shatter. when she finally leaned into him, letting herself collapse into his arms, he held her like a lifeline.

later, as they sat in the car, her head resting on his shoulder, she murmured, “you know, i wasn’t really mad at you last night.”

max tightened his arm around her. “neither was i.”

silence stretched between them, not uncomfortable this time, but loaded with something new.

“i thought i lost you,” he admitted softly.

she tilted her head to look up at him, her fingers curling into his jacket. “you won’t.”

and though neither of them said it, they both knew they’d crossed a line they could never go back from.

he didn’t mind.

i would commit CRIMES for mafia!max

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purple-babygirl · 2 days ago

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I've been feeling hella insecure ever since I found out I was pregnant. My babydaddy is supportive BUT how would Bucky help his girl feel better? Ya know with all the acne popping out of nowhere and her body getting bigger (stretch fucking marks) and I know I'm just a few months away from not being able to shave so maybe throw that in there too please. Doesn't have to be a real fic just headcannons would help really. Love you from Canada ❤️❤️

unconditionally

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader Word count: 2,670 Warnings: insecurities, low self-esteem, intrusive thoughts, body image, 18+ Content: mentions of fingering, a bit of dirty talk A/N: this is probably the first time I ever get an ask and want to make sure to write a reply on the very same day. congratulations on your baby, dear nonnie💜💜 I hope you have a safe pregnancy and an easy delivery, super proud of you over here💜💜💜 please forgive me if this seems rushed, I, too, feel I've gotten a bit rusty but I'm still hoping that you wouldn't completely hate this💜please excuse me while I combine a bit of another ask with yours. thank you so much for sending this ask and sharing such sweet news with me. Much love right back to you, maple syrup nonnie💜💜💜💜💜💜

Scars

All it took was Bucky trying to kiss the back of her hand on their second date and the slight flinch of her digits let him know something wasn’t right. At first, he thought he made her uncomfortable, so he gave her her space for the rest of the night. However, she kissed him first when he was walking her up to her door that night, so he told himself he might have imagined it all.

Then it happened again on their 4th date. They were at the movies and Bucky’s hand held hers, his thumb caressing the back of it. When his thumb brushed a particular spot, the slight flinch was back. Bucky made sure to ask if she was okay this time and she reassured him that she was. He could tell that her body gave the same tense reaction every time his thumb brushed against a specific spot on the back of her hand though, which was a scar.

She had a small scar on the bottom of her forefinger that she would mostly cover with rings. Tonight, however, she wasn’t wearing any, which led to direct contact between Bucky’s thumb and the scarred area.

Bucky told himself he was reading way too much into the situation, that it probably wasn’t that. The scar itself was very small, barely noticeable.

But his previous doubts were brought back and confirmed on their 6th date. It was the first time she let him come in after a date and the first time they were going to have sex since they started dating.

Bucky has unzipped her dress and was ready to push it down her shoulders when she held it to her chest as asked if the lights could be turned off.

“Why, doll?” He frowns despite himself, his brain not understanding why she would ever want to hide behind the curtain of darkness.

“It’s nothing... I’m just used to it.” She shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant.

“You know by now that I can tell when you’re lying, doll.” Bucky smiles gently.

He didn’t know, but his tender smile made her want to cry.

“I— I have a scar on my tummy.”

Her voice is so small when she utters the words that it had Bucky’s heart dropping.

It must’ve been clear on his face that he feared the worst because she quickly continues, “no one hurt me, it’s just from a small surgery I had when I was a kid. But the scar is.. ya know.. still kinda.. there.”

Her arms involuntarily hugged the dress tighter to her chest and waist as she explained.

“Doll, you realize I practically have no left arm, right?”

She chuckles softly before looking up at him, “that’s different, Buck. You’re beautiful.”

“So are you!”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “I mean, I can always get a tattoo or two drawn on the scars. Someone had suggested that to me before..” Her thumb caresses her scarred forefinger.

And it clicked in Bucky’s head.

Another person had made her feel this way about her scars. Some idiot had previously told her to ‘cover up’ her scars, get them tattooed over, made her feel like she wasn’t something to look at while the lights were still on.

Bucky was seething to say the least, but he couldn’t let his anger make him lose sight of what was important and what this whole thing was about. Her.

She needed to understand that she wasn’t anything short of art, a vision, a sight that could get him on his knees in a second.

“Doll, you have nothing to hide. Whatever is underneath your dress, I know it will blow my mind. I’m already hard for you, baby, I don’t care.”

She blushes, smiling up at him shyly, her eyes still unsure.

“Please, believe me.” Bucky’s hand cups her cheek as he kisses her forehead then her nose and finally her lips.

“You show me yours if I show you mine?” He whispers against her lips.

She nodded, her heart fluttering at the gesture.

Without hesitation, Bucky pulls away and takes his jacket off, pulling his t-shirt over his head next.

He stood before her in all of his glory, showing the scars on his chest, even turning around for her to see the ones on his back before facing her again and bringing her smaller hand to his left shoulder. The ugliest part of him from his point of view.

His eyes close as she tentatively touches him.

She knew it wasn’t easy for Bucky to show her himself like that. Her fingertips tracing, soothing, his scar tissue was the most intimate he has ever let anybody get with him in decades.

Her eyes tear up, a mix of emotions swirling in her chest: love, compassion, gratitude, trust.

Bucky opened his eyes when she removed her touch, only to be met with the sight of her letting her dress fall around her body to pool by her feet.

She stepped out of it, showing Bucky the horizontal scar across her belly.

Without a second thought, Bucky gets on his knees before her, his lips ever so softly brushing her skin.

She closed her eyes, a tear or two escaping her eyes at the closeness of the moment.

She doesn’t remember ever feeling so safe, so accepted.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on and I’m a hundred years old, baby.” Bucky whispers on her skin, the vibrations tickling her as a smile finds its way to her lips.

Acne

When it is a particularly bad breakout she would lean away further, try not to let her cheeks touch Bucky’s because she has this weird belief that she might ‘give it to him’ even though he has reassured her multiple times before that he was a super soldier who couldn’t possibly get acne. Still, she would involuntarily refrain from indulging in his cheek kisses as much as she normally would when it was a bad skin week.

If Bucky told her that he never even noticed, she would think he was lying to her. But he didn’t. She was always the same beautiful girl to him at all times. It didn’t matter if it was the week before her period or the first few months of her pregnancy; he did not see the new pimples. Bucky didn’t notice because he saw her, he focused on her rather than on the flesh and skin that covered her bones.

She was the one to bring his attention to the acne on her face, the acne on her shoulders, on her back, on her butt. Bucky didn’t care though. He loved her all the same, craved her all the same, could stare at her dreamily for hours all the same, could cum in his pants at the sight of her naked form like a horny teenager all the same.

But she had already gotten him to notice the physical changes, so he acted accordingly. With care. With love. Unconditional love.

“Doll, don’t pick,” Bucky says, gently taking her hand up to his lips before her nails could start picking at her new pimples.

He kisses her finger tips and the back of her hand before keeping it in his to make sure she wouldn’t take it to her face again.

She smiles, trying to focus back on the movie playing on their TV, but all she could really think about was how much she loves Bucky Barnes.

Body hair

The next time Bucky realized that his beloved goddess had insecurities, it surprised him still. It was when he came back from a long mission 2 days earlier than expected and tried to show her how much he’s missed her.

He noticed how she instantly closed in on herself when his foot caressed up her shin, moving away a little.

It was only when he pressed her about it through tickles that she finally provided an explanation and whispered, “I didn’t shave.”

Again, Bucky hadn’t even noticed. He didn’t care. All he cared about was the this was her. His girl. The one he has missed like crazy when he was away. The one he wanted to be naked with and make love to all night long.

If she thought a bit of body hair was going to stop him, she couldn’t be more wrong.

“Doll, I don’t care.” He tried to kiss her but she pulled away.

She only ever did that once before because she was sick and forgot he couldn’t catch her cold.

“Buck, please, there’s hair everywhere.” She covers her mouth, “even the mustache has some.”

Her insecure whisper with her gaze lowered tugged at Bucky’s heart in a way he couldn’t describe.

Who the hell has led her to believe that body hair was something to be this ashamed of and where could he find them? He just wanted to talk—

“You think a little hair is going to stop me from ravishing you, doll?” Bucky asks huskily, nibbling at her earlobe.

She shivers like she always does, but still tries to pull away, “it is not just a little hair.”

She gets up and stands in the middle of the room, looking in the direction of the bathroom, “I can be quick.”

Bucky sighs, sitting down on the edge of their bed and pulling her down on his lap.

“Doll, I never wanna make you uncomfortable, you know that.”

“I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable,” she explains softly.

“You’re not. I am more than comfortable fucking you right on the floor beneath your feet.”

She blushes, looking up at him with nothing but adoration in her eyes.

“I don’t care if you haven’t shaved for a few days or if you were turned into a yeti. You’re my girl and I want you. I will always want you.”

Bucky’s eyes were sincere and the bulge she was sitting on confirmed his words all the more, so she finally let him lay her down on her back and worship her the way she was meant to be.

Bucky let his lips kiss every inch of her that night. He licked the shit out of her thighs and ate her pussy like a starved man, not letting up until she was about to pass out, but most importantly until she believed him.

Stretch marks and body weight changes

Now that was the one that really never made Bucky blink even once. If anything, he liked them. Her stretch marks looked like the ripples of the sea on the skin of his very beloved. The fucking ocean with all its beauty under his calloused fingertips. He liked it all the more knowing it was just more evidence of his baby growing inside of her. How lucky was he?

She, of course, didn’t see it that way, examining her waist and thighs for hours before the mirror if Bucky would let her.

“Admiring how hot you are, I see.” Bucky smiled as he wraps his arms around her waist.

She instantly smiles back at his warmth engulfing her from behind though she doesn’t agree, “yeah, yeah.. hot is the word.”

“I don’t like your insinuations about my girl, doll.” He nibbles at her neck, his fingers gravitating towards her growing belly.

“That’s because there’s nothing hot about this, Bucky!” She argues, frustrated.

“Doll, you have another human growing inside of you; it’s more than normal for these changes to happen to your body.” He doesn’t stop caressing her bare tummy as his lips brush along her neck.

“I know.. doesn’t mean I will magically be able to accept it though. It’s.. a lot, Buck.”

“I know, love,” he kisses the spot behind her ear, “but I swear to you, you have never been sexier to me.”

“You swear? Pfft.” She tries to get out of his hold, unable to see what he was talking about.

“Hey,” Bucky stops her, bringing her back to stand before the mirror, “look at yourself. You’re a goddamn goddess. You have a baby in here and your body is merely accommodating, baby. Look at those full breasts.” Bucky squeezes her boobs gently in his large hands and she instantly moans, “all mine”.

“But— ”

“Who did this to you hmm?” Bucky teases, circling his thumb over her covered nipple.

“Bucky—” Her head is thrown back on his shoulder as his other hand finds its way between her legs.

“Who put a baby in you? Filled up this tight pussy again and again until you had no choice but to become knocked up?”

“Y- you did, Buck.” She breathes, her legs opening for him.

“That’s right, doll.” He slips a finger into her and then another, “look at yourself. Look how breathtaking you look with my baby growing inside of you, taking my fingers like you were meant to.”

She can barely open her eyes, yet the first thing they zero on is, “but the stretch marks—”

“I love them.” Bucky sucks at her neck.

“And all that newly gained body weight—” She moans, her hips grinding down on his hand.

“I adore it.”

“The way I’m gonna get heavier—”

“Has me absolutely infatuated.”

When her legs suddenly shake, her knees buckling, she thinks it was Bucky’s complete acceptance of her in every state that made her cum, not his fingers.

And if she thinks she’s going to walk away from that mirror before she watches herself fall apart for Bucky at least twice, she was an idiot.

Snoring

It’s gotten a little difficult for her as the months pass to sleep in any other position but on her back, which unfortunately led to something she never used to do: snoring. The first night Bucky had woken her up to help her adjust the position of her head made her felt so embarrassed that she couldn’t go back to sleep again. And the very next night, she wanted to sleep in a different bed as to not interrupt Bucky’s sleep so much, so.. annoyingly.

“Absolutely not.”

“Buck, let’s be rational, please. You have things to do tomorrow, a mission by the end of the week. You need your sleep. Lots of it.”

“I said no, doll.”

“But listen—”

“I don’t remember you making me sleep in a different room when I used to wake you up to nightmares.”

His voice is so soft as he reminds her and it makes her heart melt.

“Bucky, that’s different—”

“You’re right, my thing almost gave you a fucking heart attack every single night, sometimes multiple times in the same night.”

“It’s not like it was something you chose to do!”

“And this is something you choose to do?”

Her mouth opens and closes but remains silent.

“Doll, I don’t wake you up at night because I’m annoyed by the snoring. I wake you up because I want you to breathe properly and have a comfortable sleep.”

“I want you to have a comfortable sleep too—”

“I do. Doll, I don’t wanna be anywhere but next to you. You think I’m gonna give up the privilege of being able to fall asleep next to you just because you started snoring?”

“Bucky.” She blushes in embarrassment, yet her heart skips a beat.

“Love, you are the reason I’m able to fall asleep like a normal person at all. How could you ever think I would wanna sleep in separate rooms?”

“I just care for you.”

“I care for you too, baby. And I wanna be there for you, with you, every step of the way. I want you snoring to wake me up because then I know to reposition your head and help you sleep better. I want your cold feet to wake me up because then I know to put socks on you because I know you can’t reach because of your belly—”

“My feet wake you up too!”

“Jesus, doll—”

@harrysthiccthighss @tinystudentfirepurse @lavendercitizen @tumblin-theworldaway @pretty-pop-princess-hs @lilymurphy03 @idontwannagomrstarkk @glxwingrxse @littlelioncub43 @mathletemadison @canned-rootbear @pandaxnienke @loveisallyouneed1125 @floral-recs @littlemoonkiller @hallecarey1 @vespasianphantom @vicmc624 @winters1917 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @blkmystery @millercontracting @trappedwriter @am-3-thyst @obsessedwithquinn @sydnielauryn @alittlerayof-pitchblack @olipiaa @peterparkersgirl-blog @buckybarnessweetheart @thealyrs @colorfulbluebirdpainter @stuckysgirl27 @ihavetwoholesforareason @princess-bee0 @pastel-noah168 @steeph-aniie @buckitostan @onthr-dream @123iloveyou456 @ciaqui @lindasweetie @justherefortheficandsmut @xxdiaqiaoxx @morgthemagpie @wintrsoldrluvr @goldylions @serendipitouslife90 @sebastians-love @leelee1234love @tiedyedghoulette @saint-marvel @helenaellie @onceithough @raynelbabe @a-very-fictional-girl @justabeluga @lindababe69 @sapphirebarnes

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silversurfersx · 2 days ago

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pleaseeeeee give us a part 2 of filns of anger PLEASEEEEEEJSJDHNDE IM BEGGING

Christmas pressnt to us maybe?!? 🙏🙏🙏🙏😔😔😔😔

It’s the first of December, close enough, haha

Had the beginning of this actually in my notes since I posted the first part, but I hadn’t really finshed it, but I saw a few people now ask for a part two so here it goes.

I don’t really know how to feel about this, but anyway

Happy December, guys 🎄

Films of Anger | pt. 2

Part one

sebastian vettel x schumacher!reader

summary: basically brocedes 2.0 (with a happier ending), childhood friends turned rivals turned back into friends in a sappy way

warning: a bit of angst and fluff, swearing

It's been weeks, almost months, since you last spoke to Sebastian and it started to get to you. You weren't used to this kind of cold distance.

Distance as such was never much of a problem, seeing as both of you were busy in different places around the world. But this was not like those times.

You saw Sebastian almost all the time, he was always there like your own shadow, but just like it, he didn't speak a word to you. He didn't even dare to look at you (at least not when you were). He only ever did look when he knew you weren't.

There was a heavy feeling building up in his chest when he noticed you around and wanted to talk to you, hang out with you, just like you always did, but something stopped him.

You felt similar. You wanted your best friend back. The one who would always play video games with you after training. The one you would sneak out with to eat stuff you weren't supposed to. You wanted your other half back. The one that was so close yet so far out of reach. It pained you to look at him and there were times, especially after a bad race, when all you wanted to do was run to him for comfort. But you couldn't. Or at least you felt like you shouldn't.

Michael watched the whole situation from the outside. He saw the longing looks the both of you threw at each other. His own heart felt heavy at the thought of your friendship ending. Corinna and him witnessed the joy brought to your face whenever his name was called. Though now there wasn't anything like it, quite the opposite actually. And it was painful to witness for both him and his wife, knowing that the tight bond knitting the two of you together was broken over something like that. They wanted to do something to stop it from breaking any further, but both felt like only you could do that.

Your brother and sister alike noticed the lack of Sebastian around. Mick and you were playing a game of one on one, something you had done since he was very young. Both inspired by your fathers own love for football.

"Why don't you hang out with Seb anymore?" He asked shooting the ball towards your goal, but you blocked.

You didn't want to tell Mick what truly had happened between the two of you, because you weren't really sure either. Dribbling past him, you used the distraction as a way to hold off your answer. Needing a moment to think anyway.

Of course you had an accident, which you still didn't think was on you, but that wasn't new. The two of you had a few crashes over the years, sometimes caused by either one of you, but you always reconciled. But not this time. Something was different. Or maybe it was just you. Maybe the two of you had just drifted apart over the years, at minimum speed, that it only took one moment of anger from the both of you to cut the string that held you close.

"I don't really know Micky. We had a fight and need some time to calm down, I guess." You answered your brother, who knocked the ball away from you.

"Hey!" You shouted watching him kick the ball inside the net of your goal.

Mick grinned at the goal, before turning back to you. "But you are still friends, right?"

You didn't answer, not sure yourself. It still felt like you were friends, even if neither of you spoke. You reckoned that that would never change. But you didn't know how he felt, so you just answered for yourself. "Yes."

"Good. You too sappy without him." Mick nodded, taking the ball, you had just talked out of the net with your feet, away from you and once again dribbling it away from you, once again scoring. You laughed shaink your head at his cheekiness.

"There was a time when I used to beat you all the time."

"Yeah, when I was five." Mick chuckled, preparing to once again take control of the ball.

"Ey, be quiet." You gently pushed your brother. The blonde laughed while you tried not to be hurt being beat by a 12 year old.

The next race weekend approached quicker than you'd hoped and over was the small break you had at home. You and your father both packed your bags and got ready to race once again.

"Fernando!" You called out to the Spaniard, running down pit lane, nodding at him when he turned around.

The both of your wearing the familiar Ferrari red, marking you teammates.

"Good morning, y/n." He greeted you stopping for you to catch up and walk down the pit lane together.

"Morning, Nando. How was your time off, done anything fun?" You started the conversation, holding your hand up to cover your eyes from the bright sun.

You had to admit you missed what Fernando was saying, as you just passed the RedBull Garage and you unintentionally made eye contact with a very familiar RedBull driver. You held eye contact, neither of you ready to break it.

The usual distance you recently felt coming from him wasn't there. It was as if the short break betwene the races kind of reduced the anger, or whatever it was, from his mind.

You had turned your head away from him, back to Fernando, but you could have sworn you saw him frown sadly as you broke eye contact.

It wasn't a big change in behaviour, but it still felt weird in your mind, not used to him being so nice once again. Or at least civil. And to even acknowledge you properly.

You hoped that it wasn't just some kind of mind play, from him, but you knew that that wasn't his thing. At least it hadn't been with you.

It was during the qualifying session that you were in a somewhat fight with Sebastian. It wasn't much of a fight as you knew that this was just quali and not the race, yet.

So neither of you intentionally raced the other, but you did aim to beat his time. And it appeared he did too, as your time kept getting beaten by him.

Everytime your engineer told you your time, you requested to know Sebastian's as well, which he did give you, even if he was a bit unsure if he should. But as long as it encouraged you to drive faster, it wouldn't hurt. He thought.

Meanwhile you relived moments of your childhood. Back when your father and spent your evenings after school at the karting track. When no one else was present and it was only the two of you. His voice, soft but stern, was sounding in your head over the sound of the engine.

You remembered the moment you finished your lap, and took one of the corner as late as you dared to do. It took your breath away, but in the end you set your new personal lap record.

"That corner, yeah," Your father started. "If you take every corner, like you did that one, you'd beat them all."

You always followed his advice of course, but there was also always the possibly to do more. To go further. So you did.

And you went too far. Breaking too late, added with a strong wind in the wrong moment, suddely sent you into the wall.

Weirdly enough, the first thing you thought of when the car stopped was how horrible the media would react to yet another crash. The first one with Sebastian, was on you, according to them. The other times, after the initial crash, when you started to get a bit more aggressive with each other, was because of your hormones.

The times when you made just the tiniest mistake, was picked up by the media instantly. It was as if they were only waiting for you to slip up, to throw insults and doubts at you. To question whether you truly belonged in the world of formula one or if it was just there because of your family name.

Sebastian used to talk it all good. He mocked the media's stupidity to make you feel better. But of course, that didn't happen recently, which is why you felt even worse about all the comments being made, which only led to you doubting yourself more, with lead to you making even more mistakes. It was an endless circle.

Maybe adding onto your odd thoughts was your pounding head. Hopefully not a concussion. You tried to act tough, hiding your sick feelings, and aching body, quickly replying to your race engineer and pushing yourself out of the car.

You took a moment, after climbing out, to calm down. Sitting down on the body of the car, pretending liked you did that because you had to wait for the safety car and not because your body gave you a hard time.

'No weakness. Show no weakness.'

The voice in your head repeated. You kept your helmet on, even if you wished to just take it off to breathe better.

Marshall's surrounded you, made sure you were alright and then lead you towards the arriving safety car, while taking care of the crashed car.

___

"I don't know why I keep messing up so bad, Papa." You told him as you left the medical centre. The impact you had sustained was hard, 30G. But you tried to push through the aftermath. Michael came over to the medical centre right after qualifying and interviews (which you gladly didn't have to attend), to walk you back to the hospitality and then to the hotel. He wanted to make sure that you rest.

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Your father started. "that is what makes you mess up. You lose confidence and get scared."

Michael wasn't known for talking around the point when it came to racing. He felt that if there were words that can help you get better, they should be said, no matter how hurtful they may be. You knew that, it was always something you appreciated.

"I'm not scared." You replied honestly.

There may be some fear in your body when you drove, but that only fueled you to go further, to press for more. It wasn't the kind of fear that led you to be scared, but to go even harder than you thought would be possible. You loved the adrenaline, when you did something dangerous. It gave you an extra boost. "I think I just can't concentrate. I feel so... I don't know.

Michael watched you for a moment, halting in his words, as he let it sink in. Deep down he had his suspicions what might cause your loss in concentration.

"You need to talk to Sebastian." He announced. You bit your lip, but didn't say anything.

Michael was right, of course. He was most of the time. But you didn't know if you dared to speak to Sebastian, yet. You weren't scared of driving your car dangerously, but to talk to Sebastian. You were not that brave. Not yet at least.

Your father didn't really mention anything regarding Sebastian after that. He took you back to the hotel and insisted that you'd spent the rest of the day in bed, just as the medical team had ordered you to do. You didn't resist that order as you felt your body ache from every movement. You head was feeling liked it would explode. It was difficult for you to move your neck and raise your arms as the G-force hit you straight on.

After your father left, it wasn't difficult for you to fall asleep. And you stayed that way until you were awaken by a knock on your door in the late evening hours.

You didn't realise who stood in front of you for the first few moments, still too drunk on sleep.

"Sebastian?"

"Hey." He whispered, almost unsure if he should be there. "Uhm, your father gave me your hotel and uh room number, I just wanted to-"

You didn't know why you did what you did, but it just felt right to hug him right then and there. You felt Sebastian suck in a breath, before carefully hugging back, his grip so light in fear of putting a hand wrong and pushing you away from him.

Slowly you let go of him, frowning over your own actions. "Sorry, I don't know why I just did that."

Sebastian shook his head, smiling softly. "No, it's alright."

"I saw the crash today. It looked bad, I just wanted to make sure your were alright. I know we, uhm-" he looked for a word to describe your current relationship. "We haven't really talked in a bit, and I know that's kind of my fault, but I just felt so helpless, not being able to visit you after a crash like that because I felt like I'd lost every right to do so."

"You would never lose the right." You interrupted his rant, watching his hands nervously knit each other, while he watched them too scared to look at you. You remembered your fight with him and th way the words had stung. You were so angry with him whenever you remembered them, but now that he stood here, in front of you, looking like a sad puppy, you couldn't help but want to forget all of it.

"Well, after the shit that happened between us-" Sebastian argued.

"I know." You felt the same way, like you'd lost your right to care about anything regarding him. "I think we're just idiots."

Sebastian chuckled, nodding agreeing. "Yeah, we are. You more than me."

"Oh?" You replied teasingly, a tone which he didn’t quite pick up on. He looked up eyes wide, his mouth opening as apologies spilled out, in fear that he had pushed it too far once again.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, I was only joking. Probably not the best time to do that." You quickly replied to calm the poor guy down.

"No, you're fine." Sebastian stated. "I just… I want to fix what went wrong between us. I miss you. It was stupid to let such a thing do all of this. I was so wrong for doing this to you.“

You noticed how you still stood in the doorway, which probably wasn't the best place to have that type of discussion.

"Do you maybe want to come inside?" You stepped aside and held the door open for him.

"Oh." He whispered, also realising where exactly he was standing. "Yes, of course."

Sebastian stepped inside, and you closed the door. You turned back to look at him. He looked more than unsure of himself. Nervously fiddling with his fingers, wipping on his feet as he let his eyes move around the room, taking it all in.

“Listen, y/n. I know I messed up badly, I said things that were so incredibly shit. It was wrong for me to say all those things, to throw the same shit at you that the press does. I know that you didn’t get into f1 just because of your name, I should know that better than anyone else. I don’t know why I said that. I hate that I said those things and I regretted the words right after I said them.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” You asked, watching him patiently. Sebastian gulped before shaking his head. “I don’t know, I think I felt too ashamed and embarrassed.”

“That was really messed up, Seb.” You crossed your arms, frowning at him. Your chest felt heavy.

“I know. I know how you hate to be reduced to only your name, but I was just so angry at everything in that moment, that I let it out on you. It was so wrong and I am so incredibly sorry, y/n.”

You nodded, your own head filled with the moments he referred to.

Sebastian hesitated, his eye taking you in, analysing the way you feel. He knew you inside out, every little habit you had, he knew the meaning of. So he saw the hesitation inside you. How the voices in your head argued over whether to forgive or to fight him further.

"Please forgive me." He whispered, trying to aid the side of you wanting to forgive him.

Internally, that decision had been made some time ago. You knew Sebastian just as well as he knew you. You knew how he ticked and how he sometimes struggled with idioticy. Talking before really thinking, especially after being pumped on adrenaline.

He never truly means the words he spoke in anger. Sebastian was never the type to insult people, especially you. You could only think about the regret he had been carrying around these past weeks, almost overshadowing your own anger at him. Almost.

A part of you didn't want to forgive him just yet. It wanted prove that he really meant it, ignoring all the times he had already proven it. The times he cheered you up, speaking words of affirmation after the press made some ridiculous statement and spoke highly of you afterwards to everyone who'd listen, just to make them forget any bad word ever uttered.

And the more you thought about where or not to forgive him, you realised that you had already forgiven him. But you weren't able to fully admit that, yet.

"I'm really glad that you came." You answered instead, breaking the silence that started to build up.

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked, looking hopefully at you. His big blue eyes held a distant fear much like the one you felt when you thought it might be over. Which was now overshadowed by the light of hope for a rekindling.

"Yeah." You agreed honestly. "And I missed you too."

"Good." Sebastian smiled. "Then I don't feel sappy on my own."

"No."

"How are you, then?" Sebastian continued, looking you over. "I haven't heard much about the crash, only that it was like 30G. I've been worried."

You smiled at his words, the care in his voice brought a familiar warmth, one you had missed over the last few weeks. You went over to sit down on your bed, gesturing for Sebastian to join you. "I’m feeling better than earlier today, but still a bit weak. My head is pounding and I'm having a hard time with my neck and shoulders. But other than that I'm surprisingly fine."

"Are you cleared to drive tomorrow?" Sebastian asked while sitting down beside you.

"Yeah." Nodding you ran a hand through your hair. "They still want to do a check in the morning, but they said that I should be alright."

"So, you're gonna race?" He continued a bit worried, but he knew that even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to change your mind.

"What, scared I'll beat you?" You chuckled looking at his soft expression. Sebastian chuckled as well, shaking his head. "Always. No, but I was really worried. It looked a lot worse than how it ended up being. I though you might get seriously injured. And I know that that's part of the sport, but all I could think about was that I never apologised. That you might always believe that I couldn't stand you."

"Seb-" You halted in your words, before throwing your arms around your best friend. Pulling him towards you, his own arms pulling you closer. "I didn't think that you couldn't stand me, at least I hoped."

"But still. I wouldn't have known, that you didn't think that." He muttered against your shirt.

"You know now, and that is what counts." You reminded him, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

"Could we talk things through, get on common ground and get this over with. I really don't want something like this to happen again." Sebastian asked now with more confidence. " I don't want to lose you again over silly things."

"I don't want to lose you either over silly things, Sebby." You agreed using the nickname you hadn't used since you were kids. His groan of annoyance at fueled your laughter.

And for an moment then, it was like back when you were just kids, fueled by nothing but passion, friendship and capri-sun.

___

a/n: I feel like I should have added more drama, like a bit more beef between the two before they rekindled, but I didn’t have any ideas for more dialogue, lol.

#sebastian vettel x reader #formula 1 #f1 x reader #sebastian vettel #formula one fanfiction #michael schumacher #f1 imagine #f1 fic #seb vettel #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic

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jweekgoji · 24 hours ago

Note

can you do something thing similar to part 2 of Sentinel Prime/Reader where reader becomes more cold towards sentinel prime due to being annoying as reader went to controlled sentinel prime around like some dog to stay away from reader as reader meet D-16 after the race scene to happily introduce each other like a idol/fan relationship and given D-16 a sticker that looks similar to reader (I hope you are doing okay and well and make sure to drink water<3)

Sentinel/Prime!Reader/D-16

tw: depressing thoughts from reader, slight Sentinel's manipulative behavior, possesiveness, jealous!Sentinel, no relationship between Sentine/D-16 in this one. word count: ~2000 a/n: some changes in canon. story happens after the death of 13 Primes, but before TF:One events where they go to the surface. No one knows the truth apart from Sentinel. sorry for not posting much last week. was busy with deadlines, but now I have a little more time. thank you for your request anon, I hope you're doing okay too. :)

The day Sentinel personally informed you about the deaths of your siblings changed you forever. No matter how many cycles passed, you always blamed yourself for it. Why didn't they take you with them? Didn't call for help? Were you so weak and foolish that none of them told you of their plans.

If you had been there, things would have been different. Then none of this would have happened. Everything would be like it was before; everyone would be happy. You'd be happy.

Now, the only company you have is Sentinel. The only one who, no matter what, has always been there for you.

Any other bot in your position would be grateful. Sentinel is still your rock even now, even though every time you hear his voice, you want to rip out your audio receptors with your bare servos.

You were never there that day, but he was. A lucky survivor, he informed you of a most horrific event. The quintessons had sneakily launched an attack on the Primes, brutally wiping out every last one of them. Not even the Matrix of leadership was left.

Zeta...how will you be without him? How will Cybertron survive without him? Primus, may he give you strength.

From that moment on, Sentinel, as the only one close in rank, spent all his time to find the matrix.

“I understand how you feel right now. You deserve some rest,” Sentinel draws out his words sweetly, leaning closer to you. “Please let me handle all of this.”

You agreed.

Can you be blamed for that? Hardly. In a moment of weakness, when your thoughts clouded over the loss of your brothers and sisters, grieving through the night to continue the cycle in the morning, you constantly felt tired. At times, even your guards barely saw you outside your chambers, only Sentinel visited you every evening.

Much has changed on Cybertron in that time. The flow of energon dried up, and new sparks were more and more born without t-cogs. The matrix of leadership was never found, slowly dooming you to a meaningless existence.

How low you have fallen. Resorting to something so horrible...you had to mine the few resources that Primus left behind. You wonder if the other Primes are disappointed in you.

You hear a barely audible click behind you. The door to your chambers opens, revealing Sentinel in all his glory. Your optics narrow slightly as you turn around to look at him. The advisor seems to be getting used to your more...intimate relationship, now barely bothering to notify you of his upcoming arrival. Now he acts as if the two of you are truly close.

Sentinel gives you his signature smile, the complete opposite of your facial expression now. Tired, irritated, saddened. Not the most outstanding features for one of the Primes.

“Ah, so early and already awake?” Sentinel pretends to be surprised as he walks into your chambers. “That's my Prime. Feeling a little better today?”

You spare him a short glance, as you sit on your recharge slab. The sheets scattered everywhere, probably all curled up because of how restless you are during your recharge.

You mutter your answer, only for Sentinel to hum in agreement, as he approaches you closer.

“I was thinking about that maybe, since I've been working so tirelessly for the past 50 cycles...we can organize an Iacon 5000 together,” Sentinel purrs, placing his servos on your shoulders. Still tense as always. “What do you think? Iaconians are all waiting for their beloved Prime to show up.”

You sigh. Are you even sure you can handle it? Of course, you love your people, you will do anything for them but right now, still grieving you don't know if you have any strength left; but as a Prime this is your job, your responsibility. Even if it hurts, you still have to do this.

Your optics locked on where Sentinel's servos hold you. Something in his touch made you shiver, the disgusting feelings building up down your throat. No matter how much he does this to you, all you wanted was some peace and quiet. With Sentinel around, it was never an option.

“I will be there,” you say with not much enthusiasm.

For a brief moment, Sentinel was happy. Finally, maybe you started getting over their deaths, maybe even start appreciating everything he had done for you? Hmm? It's about time.

He stood there expectantly, as if waiting for something from you. A little bit of praise will be great. Of course, it's the least you can do for him after all this time he cared for you, but he will take what you give him, for now.

His silent presence didn't mean anything for you. What was he expecting? Haven't you given him your answer already? You sigh, waving your servo in a shoo motion.

“You can be free. Make sure everything is well-prepared.”

Oh, another broken heart.

You held back your promise. Following Sentinel, a loud voice in the background introduced you as you stood on the platform beside your advisor. The voices of a thousand Iaconians cheered your name, as if your mere presence was a blessing itself.

In a way, you missed it. So many new, naive faces. You really had been saddened by the past for so long that you hadn't had a chance to meet the present face to face at all. And even still, they loved you. The young, poor miners were so full of admiration for you, even though they had never had the chance to see you for real.

You were so engrossed in your own thoughts that you hardly noticed the smug smirk on the corner of the lips on Sentinel's face. He leans a little closer to you, whispering softly.

“I told you they still love you,” he flashes a glance toward the crowd, ”Just relax and observe. Tonight will go perfectly.”

You were only partially paying attention to his chatter, nodding your head whenever he opened his mouth. It was hard to tell if he actually noticed it, or if he didn't have the courage to confront you about it. Still, he never stopped.

“I was thinking about asking you to accompany me on one of the meetings I have planned tomorrow with senator...”

“How about going out tonight? After the race, hmm?”

“Me and you. At Maccadam's. Together.”

“I didn't know that we now invite miners to participate in the race too,” you say.

“I'm sorry, what now?”

Sometimes, ignoring the Sentinel does have its benefits. Sometimes it benefits more than just you. You weren't that interested in this day, another long, monotonous day when you have to wave and smile just so no one will notice your anxiety. How wrong you were.

Two bots, with no t-cogs, snuck into the race unnoticed and were some meters away from winning? Primus, what a day. If your first smile was a genuine one, the one emotion the Sentinel had worked hard to achieve, your companion was far from happy.

His optics focused on the screen, showing the red-and-blue bot running alongside the grayish one. Flickering back and forth, he had no idea how it had gotten that way. This day had to be perfect. Everything had to be perfect! When Sentinel turns to you, opening his mouth to express his frustration, he immediately shuts up. Someone so insignificant, someone who isn't him, has managed to bring you joy.

He's doubling the daily shift for the miners starting from tomorrow.

D-16 walked awkwardly in a circle, almost biting his fingertips in an attempt to somehow curb his anxiety. Scrap, scrap, scrap—the mere thought made him want to swing and slam his helmet against the wall.

“Relax, D, it's not that bad,” Orion shrugged.

“THEY were here,” D-16 emphasizes on your name and status.

“It could have been a lot worse?” Orion smiles awkwardly.

D-16 sighed tiredly. He appreciated his friend's attempts to reassure him in some way, but at the moment, he wanted to either strangle Orion for his idea or strangle himself for agreeing to such a risky venture in the first place.

“How much worse can it get? Do you have any idea how disappointed they are in us right now?” he looks at his friend unhappily. How can Pax be so indifferent at this point? When their careers and futures are on the line? “No, we're going to go and explain everything to them right now, I'm sure that-”

D-16 turns around to leave the room in a hurry as his face collides with something. For a moment, he thought he had hit a wall, but as soon as he lifts his head up....

“Are you okay?” you ask calmly.

The poor miner immediately recoils back, his face heating up, giving off a noticeable blush on his cheeks. His mouth is wide open, but not a single word comes out of his mouth. Orion gives him a light shake to make his friend finally come to his senses.

Luckily for him, Orion spoke up first to try to stand up for D-16 and explain to you that it was only his fault alone, but you only shook your head.

“You did a very good job today,” you smile. “Both of you were amazing.”

This time, it's Orion's time to be silent. He stares at D-16, whose optics were literally glowing with admiration. Knowing what a die-hard fan his friend is, it's a miracle he didn't melt immediately in front of you.

“And you,” you point to the D-16, poking your finger lightly at his chassis. “Be more careful.”

In response to your words, D just nods his head quickly. At that moment, it seems that all his strength has left him, so much so that he can't even lift his own tongue to answer you. The low mech in front of you tries to straighten his back, as if attempting not to show his bad side.

“O-Of course,” D blurts out, his vibrant, large optics focused on your every word.

You pull out two miniature, shiny stickers, offering them to Orion and D-16, to which they gladly accept it...well, D with much more obvious enthusiasm than Orion. He had to physically restrain himself to not accidentally damage it with how much he's excited right now.

He could easily recognize which series the sticker was from. It sparkles with colors in the light, limited edition, and shows off your alt mod if held at the right angle! To whom did he sell his spark to get such good fortune?

Your moment is interrupted by the sudden arrival of Airachnid, who immediately darts her gaze at you, then examines every corner of the room with her intense stare. Her optics bore into yours, and for a moment, her usual bored look changed to one of momentary surprise.

“There you are! I've been looking all over Iacon for you, and here you are with...” Sentinel immediately enters after Airachnid, he barely has time to say anything inappropriate before he notices the presence of the very two that he still has a lot of problems to clean up because of. “...with our honored participants in the recent race!”

Sentinel smiles strainedly, covering his words with a short chuckle. His servo rests on your back, slowly pulling you farther away.

“You could have told me you were here, I would have dealt with all of this,” he notes.

“I've already dealt with it, Sentinel,” you remind him, giving him a stern look. You're still a Prime. His desire to meddle in your affairs annoys you more and more every day. “Make sure they're fixed well.”

Sentinel, gritting his teeth, nods obediently at your words, removing his hand and instead, hiding them behind his back.

“As you wish," he turns to look at Airachnid, silently giving her a nod.

That day, you never had a chance to visit that little miner, who couldn't take his eyes off of you the whole time. You wonder where he went after?

#transformers x reader #transformers one x reader #sentinel prime x reader #d16 x reader #megatron x reader

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froggiewrites · 24 hours ago

Note

i do not want, i NEED katakuri size difference kink with reader

I'm so glad you requested this, because I needed to write it just as badly as you need to read it! I love Katakuri, he absolutely enraptured me when I watched WCI. I really hope you enjoy!!

A Sizeable Difference

Pairing: Katakuri x Reader

NSFW

Summary: You're very aware of how much bigger your Commander is than you. You're desperate to experience that difference firsthand. Warnings: Smut, AFAB!Reader, Size Kink, Guided Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex Word Count: 2.5k

You need your Commander more than anything.

You’ve admired him for months, watching as he crushes what he needs to, never cruelly, but with the decisiveness expected of someone in his position. You’ve watched as he’s won every battle, effortlessly led his men, and stayed unshakably loyal to his family, not faltering for a moment. You’ve never admired a man more.

The crush started on that innocent basis.

But then you noticed just how big he was.

You had known from the start, of course. You have eyes. But to understand something academically and to truly understand it were two different things. It only began to click just how massive he was when you stood side by side with him after having proved yourself a capable fighter, and for just a single moment, he placed a hand on your shoulder.

He could pick you up with just that one hand.

From that moment on you just couldn’t help but notice the difference in size between you two, how it affected the way you interacted with the world. How strong and stable it made him seem. How big every part of him was.

In your weaker moments, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was…proportional.

You needed to get closer to him. Needed to know if there was any chance he felt the same way you did, if there was any way you enraptured him as he did you.

In all of your wildest dreams, you had never imagined this. Sitting at the end of his bed as he stands before you, eyes appreciatively taking in your figure. The discussion on whether or not you could handle him was short, as you insisted that you absolutely could, and he seemed willing to try.

“Undress yourself.”

You undress instantly, accustomed to following his orders. He removes his vest, a small show of vulnerability, but his scarf and pants stay noticeably on.

“Touch yourself.” His voice rings through the room, sending a shiver up your spine as you curl in on yourself a bit. His eyes are piercing, tearing through your flimsy defenses and laying you bare beneath his gaze in every sense of the word. You cannot help but avoid looking straight at him.

You slowly inch your fingers down to your entrance, where you’re dripping with need just from the sound of his voice. You want to please him, want to prove to him you’re worth this effort, worth his attention, but you can feel his gaze tearing through you and you can’t help your fingers pausing just before they make it to their destination. Your breathing has quickened, your shoulders tense, as you try to force yourself through the moment.

“Calm down, sweet thing,” he murmurs, his voice softer than you thought possible. “This isn’t a performance. I just need to make sure you can take it.”

You try to calm your breathing, but he’s so beautiful and powerful and strong and you cannot help but feel like you’re letting him down.

“Hey.” You feel a large finger on your chin, tipping your head up, and you finally look him in the eyes. Instead of his usual guarded gaze, you see nothing but care, concern, and desire in them. “This is for your own comfort and safety. If it’s too much for you, then it won’t happen. You don’t need to pressure yourself.”

You take a deep breath. Katakuri is being gentle with you, kind in a way you didn’t think you deserved. You want more than anything to please him. You force the words out. “But I want this. Want you.”

The corner of his eyes crinkle as he gives what you think is a small smile from behind his scarf. His voice is calm and reassuring, though no less commanding. “Then continue.”

You insert your finger slowly, testing the waters, before adding another, slowly stretching yourself out for him. Your other hand traces down from your collarbone to your chest, rolling your nipples between your fingertips and making you bite your lip. A moan rumbles through his chest as he watches you. Your eyes drift down to his shorts, and you can see exactly how much you’re affecting him. He’s huge, and you imagine what he’ll feel like inside of you. He’ll threaten to tear you in two, his hands engulfing you as his hips meet yours, and you’ll thank him for whatever comes next, whether it be pleasure or pain.

Your next finger slides in easily, your wetness audible as you continue to piston your fingers in and out of your cunt.

“Good work,” Katakuri rumbles, leaning forward to get a better look at you. “God, look at you.”

You preen under his praise, forcing your way past your hesitation and embarrassment to spread your thighs wider for him to show off. He groans quietly, palming his bulge through his pants. You scissor your fingers, showing off how wet you are, and you finally get a taste of what you want as he reaches out a hand to you.

“Take a deep breath.” He gently pulls your hand away, the size of his dwarfing yours, before you gasp at the feeling of something large and blunt pressing against your entrance, stretching you even further than you were before.

You look down to see it’s only one finger.

“Good,” he coos. He slowly begins to slide his way in, reveling in your tightness around his digit. For a moment he’s satisfied with just this, just your pleasure and the honor of participating in it, but then you clench around him, moaning his name as you lean forward and dig your nails into his wrist, and he knows that come hell or high water he will be inside of you tonight. Once he bottoms out, he checks in on you again, finding your face flushed, your eyes wet with tears. “Do you need a moment?”

“No. Move, please.”

He could never deny you.

He starts slow, pulling inch by tortuous inch of his finger out of you, feeling the way your body fights to hold him in, before letting you suck him back in. You cry out again, a noise of pure ecstasy that makes him want to pin you down and pound into you until you can no longer speak or think anything other than his name. But Katakuri is nothing if not a controlled man, and he would not put his own wants above your comfort, not now, not ever.

“Katauri,” you whine pathetically. “Why am I the only one undressed?” You look up at him pleadingly, desperate for just a glimpse of the treat he’s hiding away from you, and he can’t help but give in. He doesn’t stop his movements as he slowly reaches down and unbuttons his pants, deftly undoing his various belts and buckles while still granting you the fullness you’re so desperate for. It only takes him a moment to free himself, and you’re awestruck by his beauty: his cock is massive and dripping with precum, and you know for certain it will not fit inside you.

That will not stop you from trying.

His hand hesitates at his scarf, and you see uncharacteristic anxiety in his eyes for just a single moment. Once he makes eye contact with you, it’s quickly replaced by determination as he removes it in one swift motion.

His scarf falls, and you finally see him in his full beauty. You see his teeth, and for a moment you imagine them wrapping around your neck, or pressing against your thighs as his tongue explores you. You hear him suppress a moan as you clench around his finger at the thought.

“You’re beautiful,” you murmur, almost involuntarily. The words make their way out before you even process you’ve opened your mouth.

He doesn’t say anything in response. Instead he takes a deep, steadying breath before inserting a second finger into you. You’re stretched to the brim, breaths coming in small pants as you struggle to accommodate him. A bead of sweat falls down your forehead, and you can see his eyes follow its path from your face down your neck, between your breasts, and further down still. His words come out unsteady. “Do–do you–”

“Don’t you dare stop,” you hiss, hips jerking to force him in deeper. “If I can’t handle it I will tell you.”

He smiles, teeth bared. “Of course.”

The delightful stretch continues, pushing your body to its limit as you find your thighs spread wider than you thought physically possible. He scissors his fingers, testing you, and you can see the relief on his face when your response is one of pleasure and not pain. His unoccupied hand reaches down for his cock, pumping it lightly, and you can feel your mouth water at the sight.

“Need more,” you whine, purposefully clenching around his fingers. You can see his grip on himself tighten as he looks at you, spread and ready, wanton and waiting. “I can handle it, please. Let me prove it.”

He gives a shuttering breath as he slowly pulls his fingers from you and finds them absolutely dripping. You watch with rapt attention as he slowly pulls them to his face and opens his mouth, his wet tongue shooting out to wrap around them. He groans at the taste as he thoroughly cleans every inch of his fingers, ensuring not a single drop of you goes to waste. “Delicious,” he murmurs quietly, his eyes a little unfocused as he briefly loses himself in his euphoria.

The sound of you shifting brings him back to himself, and you can’t help the excited grin you give him as he reaches a hand down to line himself up. His other hand wraps around your midsection, the weight comforting as he gently but firmly holds you in place. You couldn’t move an inch if he really wanted you to hold you there, and the thought makes you wetter still.

“Are you ready?” His voice is deeper than before, and you wonder if perhaps his desire for you has caused his usually unshakable will to start to crumble.

“Please,” you whimper, your voice pathetic and needy.

He goes slow, his tip pushing against your entrance and struggling to fit. He presses gently, but insistently, as you close your eyes and take a deep breath, doing everything in your power to relax. “You’re doing great,” he whispers. “Just a little more.”

You can feel as it finally slips inside, your breath catching at the sensation. He doesn’t move for a moment, allowing you to adjust, and instead of whining like earlier you gratefully take it. It doesn’t hurt, not quite, but you’re at the precipice between pleasure and pain and a sudden movement could easily push you over the edge.

“Great work. Just like that.” After a breath, he presses his hand a bit harder on your stomach, steadying both of you, before he slides in just an inch more. “Yes, just like that, sweet thing.”

Another inch.

Another.

And another.

He whispers quiet praise for you, leaning down to kiss your forehead as he continues to stretch you. You don’t know when you started crying, overwhelmed by the sensation of it all, but he gently hushes you as he continues moving. Neither of you want him to stop, too ready to experience this in its entirety, too afraid stopping will ruin your momentum and prove without a doubt you cannot handle him.

You will handle him.

“Just a little more,” he mutters. “Almost there.”

You feel as though you’re going to burst, but you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to relax further, and to your surprise you can feel his hips against yours.

“I did it,” you babble breathlessly.

“You did.” He lifts his hand to see the bulge in your belly as you accommodate him. He’s nearly drooling at the sight of you so small beneath him, your pretty lips open wide as you pant out his name. Your cheeks are flushed, your hair stuck to your face by the sweat, your eyes unfocused as you enjoy the feeling of him splitting you in two. You’ve never looked more beautiful.

He pulls back torturously slow, sliding back in with caution. The second thrust is a little faster, and the third a little faster than that.

He is by no means pounding you into the ground, unwilling to test your limits so far on the first try, but his pace is steady and strong as he leans over you, desperately holding himself back from slamming into your hips so hard they may shatter.

“Katakuri!” Your breasts bounce with every thrust, your tongue hanging from your mouth as you try to catch your breath. You try to say something, anything, but the only thing that leaves your mouth is his name, again and again and again. You’ve never felt this full before in your life, the feeling as wonderful as it is overwhelming. Part of you wants to kick him away to catch your breath and ground yourself, but the rest wants him to pump you so full you’re dripping with him for days.

You can feel the tension spread through your body, your cunt grasping tighter around him, as he continues to rut into you without a moment’s pause.

“You’re going to cum,” he pants. It isn’t dirty talk or a prediction; he says it as though it is simple fact. His next words are a command. “Do it. For me.”

How could you deny a direct command?

You come unraveled in an instant, your body trying in vain to pull him even deeper as you cum. He tries to keep his pace steady, to help you ride through your pleasure, but you can feel his hips stutter as he reaches his own peak at the feeling of yours. He presses his forehead to the sheets, your entire body covered by his midriff as he tries to catch his breath.

You bask in the feeling of safety underneath him, the feeling of fullness as he continues to stretch you as far as you can go, before he comes back to himself and slowly begins to pull out. The moment his cock leaves you, cum drips onto the mattress, staining the sheets, and you pout as he pulls away from you, leaving you cold and exposed.

“I’ll run you a bath.”

“Can’t you stay a moment?”

“I think we’ve neglected your wellbeing enough today.”

You want to argue, but the moment you try to sit up, you hiss, and you know you’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow. You instead watch silently as he redresses, hiding his beautiful face from the world. You almost expect him to leave without a word, readorn the mask he wears outside of this room, but at the last moment he turns back to you, eyes fond. His hand gently pets your head, his touch so kind it makes your chest hurt.

“I’ll be right back,” he promises. You trust that he will.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @saturogojosgirl @dreamcastgirl99 @tochillwithamockingjay

#katakuri x reader #charlotte katakuri x reader #one piece #one piece smut #one piece x reader #charlotte katakuri #katakuri x y/n #katakuri x you #x reader #op

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 1 day ago

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Honestly it's INSANELY funny that a post is going around rn about the Life of Faith dolls cause I remember when they were being sold. My conservative Christian mom even said "Hmm. That might be a bit culty for us. Also the Elsie Dinsmore books are racist trash," bought me a pretty journal from the local Christian bookstore, and that was that. Me and my friend Annie did a deep-dive on them a few months back just in our own DMs so for those curious about how bad this gets, here's some fun facts:

The company was started by Christian Homeschoolers™ (not "homeschoolers who are christian." Christian Homeschoolers and all the stereotypes that entails) in the mid-90s but went bankrupt in 2010. They based them around the old Elsie Dinsmore books, starring a girl who was so pious she would rather die than not pray to God or smth like that. The dolls hands can be clasped in prayer and they all came with mini Bibles

The dolls were Elsie Dinsmore, the daughter of a fucking plantation owner; Millie Keith, her cousin whose doll was a clear ripoff of Kirsten Larson; Violet Travilla, Elsie's daughter; Laylie Colbert, a fucking slave doll (but it's ok because the white girls converted her to Christianity); and Kathleen McKenzie, a Great Depression bitch.

This is a screencap from the defunct official site. Note how only Laylie looks like she could be from pre-90s LMAO.

Elsie Dinsmore books were originally published between 1867-1905. They are generally considered so bad that even hardcore Evangelicals consider them boring at best. The doll line EDITED the books to be less racist actually. Yes, the doll line that calls the slaves "Plantation-Dwellers" actually edited racist shit out of the books. I recall a bit where Elsie told a slave girl that she would be white in Heaven. They also cut out a bit where her Dad beats her with a riding crop.

Yes, she does marry her Dad's Friend. They did not cut this part out.

DINSMORE, YOU BRUTE

Millie's books were somehow both more and less racist. Millie and her family were abolitionists who helped runaway slaves but also one of her brothers marries a Mexican girl after the two of them were, and I quote, "captured by Indians and presumed dead."

IIRC, Elsie and Violet happen to be in Europe when the Civil War happens and they just kinda stay there to avoid the consequences of their actions. When they come back they are threatened by the KKK but I don't remember why. I DO remember that they spent Elsie's money on rebuilding plantations, because clearly THAT is where our priorities have to lie

The Violet and Laylie books are fanfiction. I don't think Kathleen's have anything to do with Elsie at all.

Oh, did I say books? Laylie only got one book, one nightgown, and some accessories for her collection. Kathleen, who was released a year later, got a shitton of stuff. Like, a mountain of stuff. I wonder what the difference between them is

I'm pretty sure Laylie's book does involve her escaping slavery but I never read it so idk. I do know that it plays heavily into Millie as her White Savior™ teaching her about God and how to read or whatever. I think Millie also teaches her about abolition which is fucking wild. Imagine a white girl explaining abolition to a slave

It's like they took everything American Girl did right when making Addy and said "we need to do the opposite of all of this"

Kathleen is both a ripoff of American Girl's Kit Kittredge and Girls of Many Lands's Kathleen (yep, same name and appearance).

The reason this line exists is the original Christian Homeschoolers considered American Girl to be pro-lesbian and pro-abortion. No American Girl didnt have any references to homosexuality or abortion at the time. Their first canon queer characters were in 2021 (Kira's gay aunts). As @jabberwockypie put it, everyone flipped out because AG partnered with Girls Inc "to fund after-school science programs and stuff" and god forbid, amirite?

And, yes, the red eye defect persists. It is SO funny

Here's an archived site about the collection, and another post about it by @dollysattictreasures. Anyway if anyone was given a Laylie doll as a child by your overly-religious parents, go give her a hug for me. And a gun

#life of faith #dolls #dollblr #mine

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insidekatmind · 12 hours ago

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Meet my sister P.10-Jude Bellingham

plot: Federico Valverde wants to introduce his younger sister to Jude, his teammate. He hoped that something romantic would be born between them seeing that their characters were perfect together but things take a different turn

wearning: blowjob, +18

You were talking with your friend and some of your other friends, trying to distract yourself and enjoy the night. But while you were chatting, one guy from the group kept trying to flirt with you. You weren’t encouraging him, but it was hard not to notice how he was giving you compliments in an obvious and intrusive way.

Jude, who was standing a little further away taking another drink, had overheard the conversation and, with his usual mischievous smile, approached. When the guy gave you another compliment, Jude couldn’t help but step in.

“Are you sure you know how to talk to a girl? Or is it just to get attention?” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

His words made you lose your patience. You didn’t like being treated like someone’s property, not even by Jude. So, without thinking too much, you grabbed your drink and threw it at Jude, who hadn’t expected such a sudden reaction.

He looked at you, his eyes darkened, and the smile he always wore turned into a grimace of disapproval. He stared at you as if he was judging you, but at that moment, you didn’t care. The tension between you two was palpable, and you knew there would be consequences.

Without saying a word, he grabbed your wrist firmly, making you flinch at his grip. He dragged you away from the crowd, pulling you into a secluded room, away from prying eyes.

You tried to break free from his grip, but Jude wouldn't let you. His hand tightly around your wrist made you feel trapped, but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction. You attempted to slip away, but he kept you in place with a force you didn’t expect.

"Are you trying to run away?" he said in a low, sharp voice. "Don't think you're getting off that easily."

You looked him in the eyes, but his gaze wasn't playful like usual; it was serious, almost threatening.

"You're not acting like a good girl," he continued, stepping closer to you with a firm stride. "Did you really think you could do whatever you wanted and walk away without consequences?"

Each word he spoke made you feel more frustrated. You couldn't stand his superiority, the sense that he was always ready to put you in your place.

"Let me go," you said, trying to pull away from his hold, but his arm blocked you.

"No," he replied firmly. "I'll show you things don't always go the way you want them. Now calm down and stop acting like a spoiled child."

His tone was authoritative, but you didn't want to give him that satisfaction. In that moment, you had to decide whether to submit or rebel even more.

"On knees" he said with an authoritarian look but you refused while you looked at him badly.

Jude looked at you with a serious smile and made you laugh.

"Have you forgotten who has the baby command?" He asked as he made you kneel.

You didn’t answer but you watched him carefully as he rolled his jeans and lowered his boxer shorts revealing his cock.

"Now be a good girl and take my dick in your mouth," he said as he put his hand on your hair.

You obeyed him when you took his cock in your mouth. You wanted to make him pray so you decided to suck it slowly but he started to fuck your mouth making you moan.

"Don’t play any games with me, you’re not in a position to do these things, baby," he said grunting as he fucked your mouth.

You groaned as you heard his cock fuck your mouth and you groaned as you looked at him.

"look how good you are now" he murmured sighing of pleasure as he felt you sucking him.

" To make you quiet and good so I always have to fuck your mouth like a needy whore, huh?" he muttered jokingly.

He kept fucking your mouth like I was an object but you liked it, you were getting excited.

Jude spat in your mouth and you swallowed it all. When he took your cock out of his mouth he smiled at your condition: hair out of place, eyes full of lust, swollen lips and your mouth dirty with his sperm.

"Good girl," said Jude, seeing as you had swallowed her cum.

He moved away from you looking for a shirt in the room. You got up and sat on your bed waiting for him to give you some relief.

Jude heard your gaze on you spoke. "only good girls deserve to be rewarded, you behaved badly".

You wept and he laughed.

Jude, without a word, slowly took off the one he was wearing, not caring at all how much you were eager for him. With a determined movement, he put on the shirt of Federico, pulling up the sleeves and adjusting the buttons with a calm that almost made you lose your breath.

His body, muscular and defined, was evident under the cloth that now wrapped it, and you could not help but follow every movement carefully. His muscles were moving under the shirt, his strong arms stretching out as he closed the last button, and you watched them, unconsciously biting your lip.

Jude noticed and, seeing you so focused on him, turned slowly with a mischievous smile. "Do you like what you see?" He asked in a tone that left no room for doubt, a little provocative, while staring at you with a piercing look.

His smile grew as you realized that you couldn’t take your eyes off his muscles, and it amused him. The tension between you two was growing by the minute, and he seemed to be more aware of the effect it had on you.

You slowly approached Jude, your heart pounding in your chest. Each step brought you closer to him, and when you finally stood before him, you looked up, letting desire take over. But before you could reach him, he gently moved you aside with a mischievous smile.

"You haven’t been acting like a good girl," he said with a teasing tone, yet there was a hint of seriousness in his eyes as he watched you, as if he wanted to read your every thought.

For a moment, frustration washed over you, but you tried not to let it show. "I’m sorry," you responded with a nervous laugh, but your eyes still betrayed the desire to have him close.

Jude studied you for a moment before his smile softened, becoming almost playful. "Well, if you’re sorry, maybe I’ll grant you a little grace," he said softly, moving closer again.

Without another word, he cupped your neck and kissed you with passion. His kiss made you sigh with happiness as the warmth of his lips and the feeling of finally having him close made you forget everything else.

When he pulled away, still smiling, he looked at you with an expression that suggested the battle between you two wasn’t over, but in that moment, all you wanted was to stay in his embrace.

---

Still in his embrace, the world seemed to fade away around you. His hands held you gently, and the warmth of his body made you feel protected. As you stroked his hair, you felt completely at ease, as if everything was finally in its place. Jude had relaxed, his breathing calmer, and a slight smile formed on his lips.

His eyes sparkled as you looked at each other, but then, almost as if driven by an impulse, you moved closer to kiss him again. Your hands started unbuttoning his shirt, wanting more intimacy with him. However, just as you were about to continue, a noise at the door made you jump.

Federico was about to enter. With a quick movement, you both pulled away abruptly, hearts racing, as your breaths quickened. Federico didn't seem to understand what had just happened, looking at you both with some concern in his eyes. Jude, quick to react, stepped forward and, with a somewhat forced smile, said, "Someone threw a drink on me, and she was just helping me by giving me your shirt."

Federico, still confused, seemed to believe his version. He nodded slowly, without suspecting anything, and with a quick glance at you, he walked away, heading in another direction of the house.

Once he was gone, the breath you'd been holding in finally escaped, but deep down, you knew that this little lie couldn't completely hide what had happened between you and Jude.

You were about to turn and leave, trying to make sure no one noticed too much of what had just happened, but suddenly Jude gently stopped you, grabbing your arm. You felt his warm hand on your skin, and when you turned towards him, his gaze was serious, but there was also a hint of excitement.

"Hey," he said with a smile that tried to hide a certain intensity, "maybe we should go out together, see how it goes between us. No worries, no one interrupting us. What do you think?"

His tone was gentle, but there was also a subtle challenge in it. You knew he was trying to figure out what was between the two of you, but also exploring what would happen if you had some time alone, away from the chaos of the party.

You looked at him for a moment, your thoughts crowding your mind. Maybe it was the right thing to do, but you also felt a bit unsure, knowing that every moment with Jude seemed like a step closer to something you couldn’t fully understand.

In the end, you smiled, letting out a slight laugh. "Alright," you replied, trying to sound calmer than you really felt. "Let’s see how it goes."

Jude nodded with a smile that revealed a hidden satisfaction, and he gave you a nod to invite you to follow him. You knew that this step would change things, but a part of you was also curious to see what would happen between the two of you, without any more secrets or restraints.

---

Jude and you returned to the party together, walking side by side, with a more relaxed atmosphere between you. Rodrygo, Vinicius, and Kylian, who were chatting among themselves, immediately noticed the scene and exchanged curious looks. As soon as you caught their gaze, you could sense their surprise at seeing you two so close, but Jude seemed completely at ease, a sweeter smile on his lips compared to how he had treated you earlier.

You approached him as you both headed toward the corner with the drinks. Jude had grabbed a glass and was pouring it for you with care. His behavior was different, as if the playful tension from before had dissipated, and now he seemed to be showing you a calmer side of himself.

"Would you like another drink?" he asked, with a smile that, while still carrying his usual confident aura, seemed more genuine.

You, resting a hand on the counter, responded with a sweet smile while watching how he moved with ease, mixing the drink. "Thanks, Jude. I’ll have one this time," you replied, trying to sound casual, but inside, you felt a slight tension, the kind you feel when something is changing and you don’t have full control over it.

Jude's eyes sparkled as he handed you the glass. "Always a pleasure," he said, his words tinged with a playful tone, but this time accompanied by a more sincere expression.

His friends continued to watch from afar, observing the new dynamic between you and Jude. Rodrygo seemed amused, while Vinicius and Kylian exchanged looks somewhere between curiosity and disbelief. But for the first time that night, you didn’t feel a trace of challenge in his eyes. Only a knowing smile, as if things were slowly taking a different turn between you two.

You took a sip of your drink, looking into Jude's eyes. There was something new between you, something you couldn’t describe but that made your heart beat a little faster

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spiicii · 3 days ago

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the usos / guard dogs

x fem!reader word count → 2.1k summary → you’re their girl and they make sure the world knows it. when you’re accosted in the parking lot by a group of men with bad intentions, your guard dogs are more than happy to rip them apart. notes → this fic is kind of dark. inspired by the vibe the usos had in their match against the mysterios at the money in the bank kickoff. tags → suggestive content, possessive behavior, hickies, threats of danger and SA from bad men, violence, some mentions of blood and gore, the twins are devoted to you

You’d sat at the bar with the twins all night, allowing them to buy you drinks and whisper dirty words in your ear. It was a game the three of you often played: the two of them pretending to compete for your attention, their hands roaming your body in the dim lighting of the bar, all cocky smiles and flirty words. You’d make them work for it, more than happy to get them riled up just so both of them could fuck you stupid when the three of you got back to your shared apartment.

Tonight hadn’t been any different. Jimmy’s leg had been pressed against yours, his smile wide, looking at you like the cat who’d caught the canary. Meanwhile, Jey’s hand had moved from the back of the barstool to your hip, his hand far lower than would be considered decent. The game was afoot, but you could sense that something was off, your skin prickling with a discomfort you couldn’t quite place.

Your instincts were never wrong. You eventually realized that you were being stared down by the man at the end of the bar, his gaze unashamed as he raked across your skimpy outfit, your exposed neck, your low-cut top. When your eyes met his you saw him smirk - a disgusting, ugly thing beneath a greasy moustache. You quickly looked away, returning your attention back to the twins, hoping that the message was clear: Leave me alone.

It was rare for any man to be so bold in their interest of you. The twins hardly ever left your side, their body language making it clear that you belonged to them. Even if their body language wasn’t enough, you knew it was obvious with the matching hickies you had on either side of your neck, the bruises practically permanent. The twins made sure to worry their teeth into the marks whenever they began to fade, guaranteeing that everyone knew you were claimed. Owned.

You’d get plenty of lecherous stares, curious glances, maybe even a few comments from the ladies on how lucky you were, but nothing more. No man in his right mind would try to approach you, not with two towering Samoans on either arm. Usually all it took was one curl of the lip, fresh grill glinting, for them to get the message.

You’d been relieved when the man staring at you finally left. You knew if the twins had noticed him there would have been a fight, especially if they saw how uncomfortable you were. They were incapable of leaving well enough alone, too possessive of you for their own good.

It wasn’t that late, but you knew the boys had an early call at work in the morning. Besides, the evening had already taken the turn you wanted. You’d seen the look the twins had exchanged, already fed up with your bratty attitude and ready to take you home to put you in your place - exactly like you’d wanted.

With Jimmy gone to the bathroom and Jey’s back turned while he paid the bill, it was a rare moment to yourself without one of them beside you. You didn’t think much about it when you stepped out of the building, keys in hand to warm up the car.

As you walked across the parking lot, you noticed the man immediately, his tall form leaned against the hood of the Mustang as you approached. Your eyes widened in recognition, your heart leaping into your throat. It was the same man from the bar, the one who had been ogling you all night. What was he doing here? How had he known which car was yours? You immediately froze, your car keys curled in between your fingers.

“Finally! Been waiting for a while, pretty girl.” His voice was oily, his expression far too smug for your liking as he pushed himself off the hood of the car to face you.

You watched him carefully, keeping the grip tight on your keys. “What do you want?”

The man laughed and the sound was ugly. “What do I want? Boys, isn’t she cute? Acting like she don’t know a real man when she sees one.”

You realized with horror that the man wasn’t alone, three other men stepping from out of the shadows to flank him on either side. They all looked at you with hungry expressions, proverbial wolves arrived to feast. Your blood went cold, instinctively taking a step back at the sight. The man raised an eyebrow, that hideous smirk still on his lips.

“Where are your little boy toys? Not here to protect you I see.”

Your jaw tightened, anger now taking a front seat to your fear. “They’re inside. So unless you want to get your ass beat, I suggest you leave.”

All four men laughed, two of them already beginning to take a few steps in your direction.

“Leave?” The man seemed amused at the idea. “But my friends just got here.”

His eyes narrowed at you and your stomach dropped at the sight. “Figured you’d enjoy this. After all, you take both of your boyfriends at the same time, don’t you honey?”

You felt like cold water had been dumped down your back, your heart beating wildly out of your chest. You took another step backwards and one of the man’s friends moved even closer, his eyes gleaming maliciously. If you ran now, you knew they would chase you. Would you be able to make it back inside before they caught you?

“You’re on my car, uce.”

You’d never been so relieved to hear Jimmy’s voice in your life. You whipped around and saw that the twins had finally emerged from the bar, their eyes narrowed as they assessed the situation. Jey was quickly by your side, placing a large hand against your cheek.

“You alright, baby?” He asked, pulling you close to his chest and pressing a kiss into your hair. You didn’t have any words for him, but you were able to nod, tears filling your eyes in relief and gratitude at their timely arrival.

“Pretty girl you got there.” The man said, his face still arrogant as he watched the twins approach. “Thought we’d take her for a spin. I’m sure you don’t mind.”

Jey dropped his hand from your cheek, his jaw tightening with anger as he met the man’s amused expression. Jimmy, on the other hand, looked entirely too pleased with this turn of events, a wide smile already forming on his lips.

“Oh, you tryin’ to get fucked up.” Jimmy laughed, though the sound was cold. “That’s why you out here, huh?”

Once he was sure you were alright, Jey released you, stepping forward to place his body between you and the others. His eyes were dark, simmering with a rage you hadn’t seen in a long time, and your heart stuttered at the sight. There was no going back now.

“Come on, boys. What’s wrong with sharing? I’m sure your girl would like it. She looks like she would.”

Something feral glinted in Jimmy’s dark eyes. “You doin’ me a favor, uce.” Jimmy’s tone was far too calm. “Been waitin’ for a smug son of a bitch like you to cross my path.”

Jey curled his lip menacingly, golden teeth flashing in the dim light. He stood beside his brother, his eyes unblinking as he surveyed the scene in front of him. His fingers were flexing at his sides, the same way they did before a match when he was itching to fight. Itching to harm.

“That’s cute,” The man replied, sounding bored. “But you’re outnumbered. Sure you don’t want to just leave her with us and go? I promise we’ll take good care of her.”

Jimmy laughed again, now bordering on something maniacal, his grin positively wolfish. Jey, on the other hand, didn’t look so pleased, his gaze promising blood and violence.

You watched with wide eyes as the twins began to circle the group of men, their movements eerily similar to a predator stalking their prey. The men finally seemed to realize their predicament, a few of them skittering nervously around the car as they watched the twins approach.

You couldn’t remember who moved first, but it didn’t matter. The lead man had stepped back and allowed his friends to attack first, two of them on Jimmy and one of them on Jey. It wasn’t much of a fight.

Jey was quick to grab his opponent by the neck and slam them into the hood of the car, his movements fluid and clean. You watched as the man crumpled to the ground, now unmoving. Jey sneered at him, landing a particularly vicious kick to the ribs for good measure.

While Jimmy was outnumbered, it was clear he wasn’t worried. He laughed as he fought, the sound rabid as his fist collided with one man’s face. Blood spurted from his nose at the impact and you watched as Jimmy continued to laugh, licking the blood off his knuckles with his tongue. Jey was quick to come to his brother’s aid, grabbing the other man and kneeing him in the ribs hard enough to break them and watching with satisfaction as he fell to the ground.

“Oh, come on,” Jimmy complained, wiping the remainder of the blood on his shirt. “That all you got? I was hopin’ for a challenge.”

The man who had started all of this no longer had a smirk on his face, his eyes wide as he stared at his fallen friends. It was clear this was not how he expected this evening to go. He quickly raised his hands, as if to surrender. “Wait, wait, a minute. It was just a joke, fellas. Just a joke. That’s all.”

Jimmy’s eyes were wild. “Oh, a joke?” He turned to his brother. “You hear that, uce? It was just a joke. We must have missed that part, huh?”

Jey didn’t answer, already too far gone to speak. His gaze at the man was positively bloodthirsty, his teeth bared like an animal.

You watched as the twins moved forward together, their movements perfectly in sync as they grabbed the man at the same time, one fist colliding with his jaw while the other struck him in the ribs. Jimmy grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and threw him to the ground, sharp teeth flashing as he laughed.

When both of them began their assault, Jimmy landing brutal kicks to the midsection and Jey landing punch after punch to the man’s face, you felt your stomach flip in fear. Would they kill this man?

You felt frozen in place, searching for a magic word to make it all stop that you knew didn’t exist. You didn’t dare interfere, the scene before you an uncanny resemblance to wolves taking down their prey and feasting as a pack. You could only watch as the twins continued to bludgeon the man, blood staining the cold concrete of the parking lot.

A part of you wanted to feel some kind of pity for the man. He had picked the wrong fight, unknowingly provoked two men who gave beatings for a living and was now about to pay the ultimate price. He couldn’t have known how deep their devotion to you ran. He couldn't have known how much they would enjoy this. He couldn't have known how utterly possessive they were of you.

Despite all of this, you couldn’t find it inside yourself to care. You knew what they would have done to you had the twins not intervened. Although you felt nauseous as you heard the sickening crunch of bone beneath their knuckles, you couldn’t help but feel satisfied. He was getting what he deserved.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, but the twins eventually stopped, both of them breathing hard as they surveyed the man beneath them. You couldn’t decide if you were relieved or disappointed to see that the man was still breathing, but you decided it didn’t matter.

When the twins arrived back at your side, their bloody hands were on you instantly, their eyes wide as they searched your face for your reaction. For your approval.

They’d returned to you as if you had called them back, their master that can make them heel with the snap of your fingers. They’d ripped those men apart for you and returned for their reward, knuckles bloody and eyes hopeful as they met yours.

The Usos weren’t what you would call submissive, but seeing them before you now, Jimmy pressing sweet kisses to your forehead, Jey nuzzling at the side of your neck, you realized that they were protective the same way a guard dog is protective. Submissive the same way a guard dog is submissive. They would only heel for you, the only one who could hold their leash. And they would kill anyone who got too close to their master.

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foreverromanticising · 3 days ago

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something, somehow, someday

1.9k words of idiots in love

lando norris x f!reader

(this is kind of rllly bad bc i need to get back into fanfic writing - im a veteran but its been a while! requests open pls send whatever!)

Friday nights always followed the same routine for Lando, he was playing chaueffer. Well, the Friday nights he had off from being Lando Norris Formula 1 Driver. More often than not, he found himself driving around Monaco, playing pick up from different bars with his girl and her friends.

Calling her ‘his girl’ was loosely strung, she wasn’t his girlfriend by any means, but simply calling her a friend seemed unjust. It didn’t pay any justice to their connection; best friends also seemed far too juvenile for they never knew each other in their childhood years, when the term best friend perhaps would’ve suited them.

No, they met much later in their lives, Lando’s second or third season in Formula 1, and she just happened to know a friend of a friend, which ended in the two at the same party at the same time. Typical and cliche, they knew it, but they both preferred having an organic story to tell of their meeting rather than having to admit their connection was found on some online algorithm.

However, it wasn’t that many people asked for their meeting story as they were just friends, plain and simple - asking two friends how they met didn’t hold the same importance as it did for asking a couple.

Yes, they were friends, if their relationship had to be labelled but in a sweet and sticky sense of friendship. They weren’t friends in the way Max and Lando were friends; a relationship consisting of streaming, gaming, and very platonic activities that would be expected of two friends. Their friendship was abnormal to outsiders but it made perfect sense for them, and why should they listen to anyone else’s opinions?

Lando never found himself waking up with any of his other friends head’s on his bare chest, but with his girl it made perfect sense. The Monaco sun peering through the windows, illuminating highlights within her hair against his tan chest, his arm tightly wound around her waist, and both of their bodies pressed into one side of the bed, despite its huge size.

This was their normal; they had drawn an invisible line between their friendship and something more, they never dared to cross it but the line definitely grew to become blurrier as time went on.

Hence why, Lando continually found himself in a parked car outside of whatever bar or club she chose to spend her Friday night. He claims he would do this for any friend that would ask him to, he cared about how his friends would make it home, but she had never once asked to be picked up, rather he always offered.

On the outside, Lando made it clear he cared about her making it home safely, there was no reason for her to pay for a taxi when he was happy and available to take her home - a firm believer his driving was far safer than any taxi driver. But, there was a miniscule part inside his beating heart that knew it was more than just her safety. He liked picking her up because it meant she would go home with him.

Him and no one else.

“You’re sure your friends don’t need a lift too?” Lando waited to pull away from the bar until he had a definite answer; just because he was picking up his girl didn’t mean he was going to leave her friends stranded - his offers always extended to whoever she was out with. “You know I’d rather take them than a taxi.”

“I know, Lan, but Alex’s boyfriend’s on his way anyway,” Your lifted your head off of his car window to look over at Lando, sincerity laced within your words. “They’re all gonna stay at her place, it’s just easier.”

“Do you want me to drop you at Alex’s?” He hadn’t known the night out was extending into a girls night, feeling almost guilty for wanting you in his bed, his arms, rather than with your own friends. “You wanna spend the night there?”

“No,’ You let the word drag out, trying to bite back the grin that was threatening to spill over your lips. Unbeknownst to Lando, you wanted to end the night in his arms just as much as he did. “I’m tired and I think I’m done socialising for tonight.”

“Oh, okay. Just back to yours, then?” He had to actively keep his face from allowing a frown to take over after hearing your wish to no longer socialise, he had only assumed this Friday night would be the same as all the others but it appeared you had other plans.

“I mean, it’s kinda out of the way now, isn’t it?” You looked at the street whipping by you, trying to feign nonchalance over the thought of heading back to Lando’s. “Your place is probably easier.”

“Thought you didn’t want to socialise with anyone else tonight.” Lando was also trying to act nonchalant, like he didn’t care, like he hadn’t thought about this Friday night tradition ever since you had woken up in his arms last Saturday morning.

“Yeah but you don’t count.” A smile tugged at your lips as your social battery for others may have been used up, you didn’t think it could ever run out when it came to Lando. You didn’t have to play pretend, or use up much energy around him, if anything he rechargred your batteries. A night with him was exactly what you needed.

He knew exactly what you meant. You two didn’t have to even speak when you were around each other. Comfortable silence was enough to maintain your friendship.

Once Lando had parked his car, you made your way to his apartment, in that comfortable silence you had been craving. This silence followed both of you in the elevator, as he unlocked his front door, as you made your way to your respective drawer in his bedroom to find something to wear to bed, until he found you brushing your teeth and chose to join you.

It was an image of domesticity; an old quadrant shirt of his draped over your body paired alongside a pair of his basketball shorts, your skincare lining his bathroom counter, your bodies pressed against one another - shoulder to shoulder, just as your pink and blue toothbrushes stood in their holder beside the sink.

“What’s your plans for tomorrow?” Lando spoke through a mouthful of toothpaste, as thought his question couldn’t wait the two minutes. You poked your elbow into his ribs to shut him up until you had finished brushing your teeth.

“Not sure yet, the girls wanna go for brunch but nothing’s set in stone yet,” You looked at him through his bathroom mirror. “Why? What’re you scheming?”

“Just wondering,” He shrugged his shoulders then turned on his heel, making his way to his bedroom - prompting you to follow him. “Wondering if you wanna come play padel with me and Max tomorrow morning.”

You watched as he peeled back the covers on his bed, placing an extra pillow onto your unassigned side of the bed because he knew you liked more pillows tha he did. “I think I’ll pass, that sounds sort of hellish to me.” Athletics had never been your thing, never one to actively participate in games, and whilst you loved Max you thought it was best to leave him and Lando their own time without you imposing - though, Lando would insist you could never impose.

“Yeah, that’s alright. Probably good to see him before the double header kicks in,” Lando climbed into his bed, arms open for you to crawl into as he was wasted no time in wanting to hold you close. “You’re still coming to Belguim, yeah?” Hints of uncertainty could be found within his voice, though he tried to hide it, he couldn’t help it. He wanted you there, cheering him on from the sidelines, because he wasn’t sure he could get through the next few races without that light at the end of the tunnel.

“Yeah ‘course.” You didn’t have to give it a second thought; you had already decided after a phone call with his mother, but it must’ve slipped your mind to tell Lando himself. You were more focused on making yourself comfortable against his body, your head taking its him on his chest as his fingertips danced along the sliver of skin that was shown from the way your legs tangled with his under the covers.

Night soond turned into morning, Lando’s alarm blaring through his phone, making him regret any decision to play padel as he felt your body intertwined with his. He had to fight every urge to cancel his plans for the day and instead keep you in his bed, wrapped up in his clothes and his arms and his bedsheets. Would it be too much to ask you to spend another night within seconds of his eyes opening? Perhaps, but he couldn’t bear the thought of spending his nights alone for the next two weeks.

He had two separate hotel rooms booked for Belgium but he knew that, inevitably, either one of you would cave and pad your away across the hotel to the other hotel room, desperate for the comfort of laying beside one another.

Instead of dwelling on such thoughts, he forced himself to get up for the day, leaving you to rest in his bed whilst he headed out to padel. Not before sending you a quick text to wake up to:

Lan<3

Hey, just headed to padel with Max

I’ll be two hours at most and

I’ll come home with breakfast

Stay put pretty girl

“Who are you texting?” Max asked as Lando climbed into his car, trying to peer over to see his phone screen but remaining unsuccessful as it was pulled out of his vision.

“No one, you nosey bastard.” Lando turned his phone off, begrudgingly so, and put it into his pocket.

“I know it’s her, don’t play daft,” Max knew everything about Lando and his girl, even if they were too blind to see it. “I know she’s in your bed right now, and I know you’re late ‘cause of it.”

Max knew they were meant to be, even if they didn’t, he knew it - they were taking their time in getting there, in realising that was even a possibility for the two of them. Something pulled them together, somehow they would realise it, and someday they would end up together.

Even if Lando claimed his career was too much for her to handle, only allowing himself short flings with girls that didn’t matter to him, instead of a fulfilling relationship - Max knew she would be able to handle the ins and outs of Lando’s world; she knew how to ground him after a win when his ego allowed him to feel like he was on top of the world, but she also knew how to calm him down when he came to her door upset after a race.

Max didn’t buy into her claims that Lando wouldn’t be with her because their worlds were too different, he knew that was what he wanted. He didn’t want someone who stuck around for his titles and fame, he wanted a welcome sign and a plane ride home.

But Max would never intrude on fate, he was letting them be. They were meant to be, he knew it as well as everyone around them, but he was letting fate run its course for the result would be far more fulfilling than if he meddled with the two sides of the same story he was continually being told.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris blurb #lando norris x bsf!reader #lando norris x you #formula 1 #formula one

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gamerwoo · 2 days ago

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Bang Chan: The Girl Who Didn't Cry Wolf (Part Six)

Characters: Bang Chan x fem reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, enemies-to-lovers-ish??, slowburn, werewolf/alpha!chan, (werewolf)hunter!reader, angst, fluff at the end, hurt/comfort (literally), knives, cutting open wounds, mentions of blood and puss and scars [dialogue in bold is meant to be korean]

Word count: 6,085

Summary: You've learned to do whatever you can to protect yourself after an incident almost a decade ago had your father and brother dragging you to a new country to start all over even though they blamed you for what happened. After finding yourself stuck in a house of werewolves, you're forced to come to terms with your feelings over what happened back home when the alpha imprints on you and his pack claims they're keeping you prisoner. You know exactly how this will end if you give in, and yet you can't seem to get yourself to leave the sweet and charming werewolf who's willing to do anything to make you comfortable. You're just hoping that maybe there'll be a good end this time.

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You waited another day to see if your side would get any better but it still hurt, and it was still shiny and red. It was even hot to the touch which you knew wasn’t good. You decided it most likely was infected, and you would take care of it once everyone went to bed that night. The problem was waiting that long because it hurt more than it did the last few days, so even just sitting the wrong way made you almost whimper in pain.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?” Chan asked as he walked into the den.

You looked up from your book, laying across one of the couches so it would cause less strain on your side, “No thank you.”

He frowned, “Why? You always like leaving the house, you said it’s boring staying inside.”

“Yeah, but…” you paused for a moment to think of a good excuse, “this one part is getting really good.”

Chan squinted at your book before giving you a look like he knew you were lying, “The Ultimate Guide to Gardening?”

“...I finally got to string beans.”

He sighed and took the book from between your hands, “_____, what’s wrong? Ever since Minho said...that to you, you haven’t wanted to do anything. Are you…depressed maybe?”

You knew Chan would go insane if he found out you were actually depressed being with him and living in his house. You weren’t, but if he ever thought you were, he’d surely go berserk trying to figure out what to do and how to fix it.

“If anything were going to make me depressed, it would be whatever’s goin’ on up here,” you pointed to your head, signifying your conflicting thoughts that hadn’t stopped since you first laid eyes on Chan, “rather than whatever comes out of Minho’s stupid mouth. I swear, I’m fine.”

“Did someone else say something?” he wondered.

“No.”

“Is it something physically bothering you?”

“No.”

“You know you can tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

Chan was frustrated, he made it clear when he groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands, “Can you please just tell me so I can help you? It’s not healthy being cooped up inside all the time. You haven’t been outside in over 24 hours.”

“You’re the one who imprinted on a werewolf hunter,” you reminded him. “Stubborness is a given.”

“That’s still not my fault, it was out of my control,” he explained for the umpteenth time, “and stop trying to change the subject.”

Something else that was different after your talk with Chan was that you two hadn’t been that close again since. You went back to sleeping alone in your room, and the most contact the two of you had was his hand on your shoulder or back. It wasn’t that you told him to stop, but you didn’t necessarily make any moves to be closer to him. Your body did crave that contact again – more than just those touches, actually – but your mind would implode. You were still fighting with yourself and needed to be away from him, otherwise you knew you’d just turn into putty in his hands.

And then probably cry again. Which you were still embarrassed about.

“I’m tired, okay?” you lied easily. “I don’t sleep that well.”

He didn’t seem shocked by this. You knew he knew that you were hardly sleeping, so technically you weren’t lying to him. It just wasn’t the real reason you didn’t feel like moving lately.

“_____…” he sighed and knelt on the floor beside you. You twitched to sit up until you remembered you’d probably wince and give yourself away. “What can I do to help you sleep better? Have you tried Felix’s bed, maybe? It might be warmer.”

“It’s not that,” you shook your head. “The thoughts keep me up at night.”

Again, another not-lie.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he offered.

Your eyes narrowed slightly in an accusatory way, “You just want to stay with me again.”

“No, I–” he paused and then shrugged. “Well, yeah. But no.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, “Give me one more night and if I don’t get a good night's sleep, you can…y’know.”

His eyes brightened but his mouth fell into a frown. You knew he was excited, but he was afraid you felt pressured to say that, “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“I know, but the only time I slept well was when I…stayed with you…”

He sighed softly, patting your hand that rested on the couch close to his shoulder, “Alright, _____. If that’s what you want.”

You scoffed and smiled, “Don’t act like you weren’t waiting for me to give in.”

“I just want you to finally get some sleep, ba-” he cut himself off, something you noticed he did a lot. You assumed he was about to call you pet names and realized he shouldn’t in case it made you uncomfortable. “I want things to get better for you.”

“Me too.”

You waited for about an hour after Chan left the bedroom after saying goodnight to get up and go to the bathroom. It wasn’t abnormal for you to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom so you hoped he wouldn’t assume anything of this. Maybe he was already asleep anyway – you did your best to keep your heartbeat and breathing even so he’d think you were safe and sound asleep.

Quietly closing the door, you locked it and flipped the light on before lifting up your shirt and peeling the bandage off. The ugly red and sheen were still there. You took a deep breath, going through the cupboards to get the leftover medicine that Chan had originally cleaned the wound out with, as well as the ointment you put over it to help it heal, and a pair of scissors that they kept with the medical supplies. With everything ready, you took the scissors in your hand and tried to steady your breathing.

You can do this, you told yourself, Just do it quick like back home.

Before you could do anything, though, there was a loud knock on the door, causing you to drop the scissors with a clatter that seemed somehow too loud.

“_____?” it was Felix’s voice that was talking to you. “Your heartbeat is really fast. Are you okay?”

Why is he awake? you asked yourself in a panic because you were pretty sure everyone was asleep like, y’know, normal people.

Obviously, your panicked silence mixed with the weird clang of metal made the wolf think you were definitely not okay. He had no problem forcing the door open and seeing your makeshift surgery setup on the counter of the bathroom sink. Then his golden eyes zeroed in on the inflamed wound on your side, sucking in a breath.

“That doesn’t look good…” he commented with a quiet tone, walking forward to examine it better. “How long has it been like this?”

“Few days,” you mumbled, embarrassed that you’d gotten caught.

Felix sighed, his warm fingertips brushing the wound every so slightly, but still enough for you to wince, “Yeah, this isn’t going to get better on its own. We’ll have to clean it out again. Although...it seems like that’s what you were trying to do.”

He glanced up at you through his lashes with a pointed look.

You frowned and stared anywhere but at the wolf, your face warming up, “I just didn’t want Chan knowing, okay? If I fixed it myself, he wouldn’t have anything to worry about or anyone to fight with it about.”

Felix straightened and cocked his head to the side slightly, “None of us can heal this for you without him knowing. I mean, maybe we could sneak you out to Josh, but we wouldn’t get back until morning…”

“No,” you hissed. “Chris absolutely cannot find out. If he knows this is infected, he’s gonna scream at Seungmin.”

It was no secret that Seungmin and Minho were on thin ice with the alpha. After Minho’s latest remark to you and how poorly he was treating you when he ran into you, and the two of them assaulting you twice, this would be the final nail in the coffin for sure.

Felix seemed to mull over your condition as he bit his lip as stared at the claw marks. He definitely had to do something about this, but how was he going to heal this himself and keep this from your mate? Chan knew everything that went on when it came to you. Hell, he probably could sense something was wrong while he slept right now. But Felix couldn’t just let you walk around with it infected or let you try to fix it yourself.

“Fine,” he finally sighed, staring at the tiled floor, “but I’ll need help from some of the others. Probably Changbin and Jisung.”

You nodded, “Anyone but Chan.”

You were laying down on the desk in Changbin’s room, looking up at the ceiling as several wolves ‘prepped you for surgery’ as Jisung put it. You still weren’t very comfortable with having any of the wolves touch you, but you refused to use Chan as a security blanket right now. If he found out that the wound Seungmin gave you was infected, he’d not only kill Seungmin, but he’d never leave your side for the rest of your life.

So you just stared at the ceiling and kept your thoughts to yourself, waiting for the wolves to be ready to cut you open or whatever their plan was. Minho seemed way too casual about it as he watched with arms folded, while the other three seemed kind of stressed about the whole ordeal. You didn’t really blame them since he had to keep this from their alpha, but why was Minho humming to himself and acting perfectly fine? Why was he even here other than the fact he had woken up because him and Jisung still had to share a bed?

Then again, he was also the one who hated you and was probably hoping you would bleed out or something. If you died and Chan managed to live through the heartbreak, he’d just find a new mate. Seemed like a win/win for Minho so he'd probably want to witness it.

You hated that you had that thought because it just made you feel worse, so you tried not to think about it.

“Okay,” Changbin sighed, stepping over to you with a sharp pocket knife in one hand, and a glass jar in the other, “let’s get this over with. Jisung?”

“Y-yeah,” Jisung’s eyes snapped to Changbin, the younger wolf clearly on-edge. “I’m ready.”

“We’re gonna start now,” Felix told you.

“You know the best option is to just tell Chan, right?” Minho asked, looking between the three wolves. “He’s the only thing that can take the pain away unless we bring her to one of the healers.”

“She had a point when she said he’ll reem Seungmin for this,” Changbin pointed out, looking back at Minho. “Do you want to break up a fight at midnight?”

When Minho just rolled his eyes and conceded, Changbin put the two objects on the desk beside you before opening up the jar. He spread the contents over your wound, numbing it so you wouldn’t feel as much of the pain as normal. Then Felix held up a t-shirt that he’d rolled up the long way.

You eyed him warily, “What’s that for?”

He frowned, “Just…put it in your mouth; trust me...”

You obediently opened your mouth and let the wolf place the cloth between your teeth. Then you realized it was to muffle your cries of pain – you hoped this would quiet most of the noise so Chan wouldn’t wake up. You hoped he was too sound asleep to hear you, but just in case, you’d have to try to be as quiet as possible.

“Ready?” Changbin asked, but the question was aimed at you now.

You nodded, not saying anything with the towel in your mouth.

Changbin looked over to the younger wolf, “Do you want to clean the wound or help hold her down?”

Jisung’s eyes widened in horror, while Minho’s widened for a different reason.

“Hold her down?” Minho repeated, sounding almost…excited.

“I don’t know if I can handle…all of that…” Jisung admitted, eyeing your wound.

“You make all of the medicine but can’t handle what it’s for?” Changbin asked.

“I’ll hold her down,” Minho immediately volunteered without any prompt to do so.

Changbin shot Minho a dirty look before he sighed, “Just help Minho hold her. Felix, try to comfort her, okay?”

Felix nodded, “Got it.”

The three wolves shifted around, Jisung and Minho standing on either side of you with their hands braced on your shoulders. Felix stood between them and looked down at you with his classic bright smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes like it usually did.

You saw Changbin pick something up out of the corner of your eye, and then you felt something sharp poke your side, but it was bearable. It wasn’t until Changbin dragged the blade of the knife down one of the scratches that you felt white hot pain in your side that made you arch off the table and groan into the shirt while your eyes screwed shut.

“It’s okay,” Felix shushed you as one of Minho’s hands moved down to your hip to force your body back down, “it’ll be over soon.”

“If she moves, I’ll accidentally cut where I’m not supposed to,” Changbin warned, his golden eyes staying trained on the wounds the whole time.

You bit down on the fabric as hard as you could, trying not to make any noise. You were sure your jaw was going to snap from how hard you were clenching on the shirt, and you couldn’t stop the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, slipping out and down your temples to your hair. Felix tried to wipe most of them away while Jisung and Minho pressed you down into the wooden desk.

Changbin began cutting open the second one, sucking in a sharp breath when he saw just how much blood and puss there was. He was so sure they had cleaned the wound out, so he wondered if maybe somehow stress was affecting the healing process. Or maybe Chan just didn’t do the best job of cleaning it despite how thorough he was with wounds. Or maybe it was some third thing they didn’t know about. He wasn’t sure.

The whine you let out was bordering a scream, the third one hurting more than the others, and all three wolves by your head tried to calm you this time. Changbin paused and leaned his head toward the door like he was listening, before the door opened and a very-tired-looking Seungmin came in with a half-asleep Jeongin and a slightly-terrified Hyunjin behind him, taking in the scene before them: you laying on the desk desk, three of his brothers holding you down, Changbin cutting your side open, and all the blood and fluid coming out of you and onto the towels Changbin had laid out.

“What the fuck are you–?!”

Before Jeongin could even finish his question, Minho was in front of him, gripping the back of his head with one hand and firmly placing the other hand over his mouth, “If you wake up her mate, we’ll do this to you too. Got it?”

“We’re just draining her wound,” Changbin explained, not looking away from his work. “It’s infected pretty badly.”

Seungmin quickly gathered everything he needed to know, and realized this meant his ass was on the line, “You better know how to fix that before Chan wakes up.”

“A ‘thank you’ might be better than a threat,” Changbin sneered.

Jeongin, however, had decided he didn’t want any part in the ordeal, yawning, “You never saw me in here,” before he left the room.

“Channie is gonna be so mad,” Hyunjin panicked, looking around the room for at least one sane person.

“Then go back to bed so it’s one less person to be mad at,” Changbin said gruffly. “I’m busy.”

But instead, he closed the door and went to stand by Felix. Changbin called Minho back over to help with you, and Seungmin followed behind him and stood at the foot of the desk, taking everything in. You were squirming and crying, and Changbin couldn’t do anything when you were moving around so much.

“I know, _____,” Changbin sighed as Minho stood on the other side of him and put his hands firmly on your abdomen, “I’m sorry. I’m…almost done.”

This time when the door opened, you knew it could only be one person – unless Jeongin randomly decided he did want to be involved. But your eyes were so filled with tears that it became too blurry to see, and you couldn’t even keep your eyes open because of the pain.

Despite that, the voice you heard shook you to your very core, and actually sent pure fear straight through you. You’d never heard Chan sound this angry – not since the first night.

“What are you doing to her?!” Chan roared right before you felt his large, familiar hands cupping your face.

You didn’t dare open your eyes to meet his that you already knew were red with rage. But you weren’t going to let him get angry at his brothers who were only trying to help you. But you still had a shirt in your mouth being held there by your jaw that wouldn’t unclench because of the pain, therefore, you couldn’t do much to back up the wolves.

“Chan, the wound is infected,” Changbin told him, his voice trying to calm the alpha. “Look.”

When you heard him suck in a sharp breath, you knew he saw all the blood and puss that was in the wound. But then you heard the growl of Seungmin’s name leave his mouth, and you blindly tried to find your mate. Your hands flailed and searched, but Chan was already backing Seungmin into a corner.

“Um, a little help might be nice,” Minho spoke up. “Considering she’s, y’know, in severe pain.”

He paused and his head whipped around. Then he was rushing over to your side and crouching down beside you, his eyes full of hurt as he let out soft whimpers.

“_____,” Chan’s voice was much softer than it was previously, and the shirt was removed from your mouth, “I’m so sorry I let this happen.”

You opened your eyes now that the tears had cleared out more, and the pain of Changbin opening the first three scratches had become a dull, burning ache – you almost wanted to thank him for stopping before he went on to the final scratch. Chan’s eyes were still red, but they were soft when they looked at your paling face. You placed a hand on his cheek and felt somewhat better when Chan leaned into your touch.

“Please don’t get mad at Seungmin,” you croaked, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “Or any of them; they’re only trying to help.”

“You wouldn’t have to be in this mess if Seungmin hadn’t–”

“Seungmin didn’t know,” you cut him off with a whine, knowing it would be difficult defending the younger wolf from his alpha’s anger. “Nobody thought anyone would imprint on...the idiot hunter that broke in. He just wanted to protect his brothers.”

“Chan? Help?” Changbin prompted again, breaking the two of you out of your conversation. “I still have to get this last one open before she loses too much blood and I need you to help.”

Chan moved away from you, and your hand dropped back off the desk. Changbin moved slightly to the side to make room for him as Chan placed his large, warm hands on either side of your wound.

“I wish you asked me to do this originally,” he grumbled as his hands started to feel warmer and warmer, and the pain in your side faded more and more. Chan sucked in a sharp breath as he winced. “Can’t believe you let her be in this much pain.”

“Don’t worry, it gets worse,” Changbin told him before he placed the tip of his bloodied knife at the last mark. “Ready?”

He nodded, bracing himself for the worst of it.

Meanwhile, your body slowly untensed, relaxing onto the table. You didn’t feel anything. You wondered if Changbin was waiting for you to completely relax before he started again, but you just breathed heavily and enjoyed not feeling the sharp, hot pain of the knife. You actually didn’t even feel the sting of the other wounds Changbin had cut into your side. You felt a little warm there, but that was it. It was nice. You almost fell asleep like that.

Chan, however, felt everything. He twitched in the opposite direction of the side he felt the intense pain. He bit down on his lip, trying to keep his sounds of pain to himself but letting out grunts as his eyes squeezed shut. Seungmin could see from where he was standing that three claw marks had already been scarred into his side, matching the ones on yours. And as Changbin dragged the knife, the fourth one was carved into his skin.

These scars were bigger than most of the others that littered his skin. He had a few on his neck, and only a couple on his face. But the rest of his body – mostly his torso and arms – were covered. And yours were now his newest addition.

“Are you okay, _____?” Felix’s deep voice pulled you up from the waves of grogginess that were washing over you.

“”M okay,” you mumbled, your eyes closed. You were too tired and still felt the ghost of the pain you had felt before Chan’s hands were on you.

“How do you feel?”

“Warm…”

Felix looked to Chan, who was catching his breath after Changbin finally brought the knife away and began cleaning at the wound. This hurt less, but was still painful nonetheless and made him wince with every pass of the clean cloth and cotton balls that Changbin used.

“She’s tough, I’ll give her that,” Minho mumbled as he looked down at your face.

Your breathing was even through your lips and the pack could tell you’d fallen asleep. It was probably for the best anyway.

“You alright, Channie?” Changbin asked quietly once he was done cleaning you up, looking down at the alpha that had removed his hands from your side and sat back on the floor, laying back on the floor.

His skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, so the cool hardwood felt nice on his back.

“I don’t know how she stood that,” he breathed, one arm laying across his forehead as he laid there with his eyes closed.

“Masochist,” Minho suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

Seungmin stayed silent, still standing in the corner where Chan had backed him into. His eyes stayed on your unmoving body, but his expression was unreadable.

The only thing keeping Chan from ripping Seungmin’s head off was making sure you were safe and would wake up. He stayed beside you as Changbin and Jisung worked to drain your wound properly and patch it back up, and he stayed beside you after he tucked you into his bed in a large t-shirt of his.

Now, Chan was sitting on the hardwood floor, his hand reaching up to stroke your hair and cheek as he studied your face. He wanted to hold you closer but if you woke up with him like that, it might freak you out.

“Hey, Chris?” Felix spoke up as he entered the room. The alpha didn’t look at him, but hummed in acknowledgement. “I don’t think you should be so hard on Seungmin.”

“It’s his fault for scratching her in the first place,” Chan stated harshly. “He deserves whatever comes to him.”

“She told you not to be angry with him,” Felix reminded him, “and I know you can’t ignore that. She’ll be upset with you if she finds out you did anything to him.”

“Not that it’s any of my business,” Jeongin began as he wandered in through the open door, “but I couldn’t sleep because of all the noise, and from what I heard, I can’t help but think she didn’t want you to worry about her. Hyunjin said she told everyone not to tell you what they were doing.”

At that, Chan turned his head, “Why would she not want me to worry?”

“Because she does care about you, idiot,” the youngest wolf sighed. “She’s said it before – we’ve heard all the breakdowns.”

“It’s conflicting, we know, but she can’t help how she feels, either,” Felix said with a shrug. “Emotions are hard. We all know that.”

“Why would she care if I’m upset with Seungmin or not, though?” the alpha quizzed.

“I think that’s her way of caring about you and your relationship with us. You know how Minho and Seungmin are sometimes? I think that’s just her all the time.”

Chan turned back to you, watching your sleeping form. He wondered if you’d wake up soon so he could just ask you himself. He didn’t care how long it took, he’d coax the answer out of you even if it took days. He wanted to know if you really did truly care for him enough that you’d go through all this trouble so he wouldn’t worry about it. He thought it was stupid of you but it still was sweet if it was true.

Like you were connected enough to hear his silent plea, you shifted a bit and your eyes fluttered open. The three wolves studied your movements carefully as you pushed yourself to sit up, wincing and hissing in pain. Chan helped you up the rest of the way, doing most of the work until you were sitting up against the headboard.

“How do you feel, _____?” Felix wondered quietly, keeping his voice low so as to not scare you. “Are you still dizzy?”

“No,” you shook your head as you rubbed your eyes that still stung from crying, “my side is just sore.”

“Which is normal,” the freckled boy shrugged. “Changbin said if it’s still looking rough in a couple of days, we’ll drain it again. Otherwise, keep applying the ointments. Jisung mixed up a new one that should help with keeping infection away.”

“I think it’s time to head back to bed,” Jeongin decided, putting a hand on Felix’s shoulder and nodding toward the door.

“Right,” he nodded like he just realized Chan probably wanted to talk to you privately – or, at least as privately as he could in a house full of werewolves that heard everything. “Have a good night, guys. Channie, please remember what we said, okay?”

Once the two boys made it out the door and Felix turned around to close it, Chan’s eyes looked at you. They were still their warm gold, but his expression was unreadable.

“That your power?”

His eyebrows furrowed at your question, not expecting the first thing out of your mouth to be that, “What?”

“I didn’t feel anything,” you mumbled, your eyes looking down to scan his exposed torso, “and you have those marks on your side where mine are. Those weren’t there before.”

He nodded a little, “I can take away others’ pain. The only catch is I feel it instead, and I get their scar, so…”

He held out his arms for you to see, rolling them over to examine all of the scars that littered his skin. It was silent, and then he let his arms rest on the bed beside you, both of you waiting for the other to say something.

“Are you mad at them?” you asked him quietly, finally breaking the silence. “Or me? …Or both?”

“Dunno,” he murmured as his eyes looked back at the blood-stained bandage covering your side. “Trying really hard to not be mad at all, but it’s hard.”

“I did this to me, not them,” you insisted, immediately going into defense mode. “I made Felix and Changbin and everyone promise not to tell you; I was basically holding the knife myself!”

His eyes darkened. You noted it was definitely a bad choice of words.

“_____, why did you keep this from me? You should’ve told me.”

You cast your eyes down to your bare lap, toying with your hands nervously. “Well...I thought it was getting infected and I wanted to fix it.”

“That doesn’t explain why you intentionally kept it from me. You made my entire pack swear to secrecy for what?” he pressed, sounding like a father scolding you.

“Because you’d get worried and get mad at Seungmin…” you admitted softly, still not making eye contact. It felt embarrassing to admit all of this to him. Was it because you were basically indirectly telling him that you do care and then it would set that in stone instead of it being kind of ambiguous by your actions? “I didn’t want to make you angry at anybody, and I didn’t want you to have to waste time worrying about me.”

“Listen to me,” he demanded softly, holding your chin gently and forcing you to look at him. His eyes were now sad as they bore into yours. “Worrying about you is not a waste of time. You’re constantly in my head; I think about you all the time. You’re never a waste of my time, _____. I love you and you know that.”

“But why do you love me when-”

“So this does have to do with Minho, too!”

Hot tears pricked your eyes, getting frustrated because you were making him angry at more person than one, when your goal was zero. “No, this is different!”

You hated yourself for being a frustrated cryer.

But having you cry, especially because of him, was the last thing Chan wanted. In a swift movement, he was sitting on the bed and had pulled you into his lap, cradling your head against his chest as he softly rocked you and shushed you, “I’m sorry. I’m not thinking right. I just...I’m angry at myself for not being able to help you or stop you from doing this. I hated seeing you like that. I think I almost died.”

You were going to make a, ‘no, I almost died’ joke just to lighten the mood but you knew it would upset Chan, so you just hid your face in his chest. This time, you would let yourself just rest there in his hold.

He held you closer, rubbing your back soothingly. He purred softly in approval at the amount of contact, and you were just as happy, albeit a little confused because of your heart battling your instincts. But were you making any movement to leave his hold anytime soon? Absolutely not.

“Please don’t be mad at them,” you mumbled, your words getting muffled by his chest. “Any of them. Not Seungmin or Changbin or Felix...even Minho.”

He sighed, trying to see it from your point of view. He felt he had to take it out on someone or something or he’d just make himself more miserable for not being there for you. He felt like a bad mate.

“If you promise to always tell me when something’s wrong…” he began slowly before taking a deep breath to calm himself, “I won’t be angry with any of them. Although I do have some strong words for Minho for the things he said to you.”

You forgot Chan had been ignoring him ever since he found out the things he said about you being his mate. You pulled back a little to look up into his eyes. “I can’t tell you all the time.”

“You can try,” he smiled softly. “Promise me you’ll try?”

You nodded, “Promise.”

He cleared away any stray tears but continued to hold you in his arms, his back against the wall.

“I know it’s late but...I don’t want to move,” he admitted with a warm laugh.

“My head is still screaming to run,” you laughed softly, your head resting against his shoulder.

“What about your heart?”

“God, Chris, that’s so cheesy,” you whined.

“Come on,” he laughed, carding his fingers through your hair, “just tell me.”

You sighed and closed your eyes, “I guess…I think it’s kinda nice.”

“It’s just a matter of getting that pretty little werewolf-hunting head of yours to agree.”

“How did you just...give in to it?”

He hummed softly as he thought it over, wanting to give an answer that might actually help you, “Well...I think part of it is that the feeling is much stronger for us. But I think it helped that I started to trust you being around my brothers. I knew they would still be safe with you here, so I didn’t have to hold myself back anymore. I had to be near you and make you happy.”

“So...I should just ignore my head?” you asked slowly, repeating what you’d gathered from his speech.

“I know it’s easier said than done,” he chuckled, moving his head to look down at you, “but it’s worth a shot. Just start small.”

Start small, huh? What’s something small you could do? Your eyes wandered around a bit before settling on his hand on your thigh. You carefully took it off your thigh and put your hand on his like you were measuring who had bigger hands – you noted that Chan’s were a bit larger. Then you laced your fingers through his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze that had his inner wolf grumbling with joy.

“Is this...okay?” you asked, still unable to make eye contact with him – especially now.

So you didn’t see his wide grin as he nodded, “This is perfect.”

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep in his lap. You were exhausted, too exhausted to move, so you ended up knocking out while he hummed softly and told you stories of his brothers and the pack.

When he noticed you were asleep, he carefully shifted you onto the bed, laying you down and tucking you in before he got up, deciding to go sleep on the couch again. He thought you’d want it to yourself as he said you should take small steps, and he didn’t want to just assume he could sleep in the same room as you, even if it was in Felix’s bed. Although you’d slept in the same bed together before, that was when you said you wanted to. Now, he wasn’t sure, and it was better safe than sorry.

He laid down on the couch that was a little shorter and thinner than his bed, and tried to get as comfortable as he could. He laid in the dark, staring at the ceiling, and trying to listen to every move and sound you made in your sleep. That’s why it didn’t take him long to get to you about an hour later.

“No!” your tired voice gasped, and he jolted out of bed and ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time. Upon flinging the door open, he saw you were still sound asleep, the moonlight shining in onto your sleeping face. “No…”

Your brows were creased slightly, a small frown etched onto your face. You kept softly repeating ‘no’, so Chan took a cautious step in, wanting to wake you up in case you were having a bad dream.

“Finley…”

He paused. You’d mentioned Nolan, who was your brother. But…who was Finley?

He heard a bedroom door open a split second before he heard, “She’s already talking about other men?”

The voice made him jump and he quickly but silently closed your bedroom door. He whipped around to see Minho standing in the doorway, smirking playfully at the alpha, but it was clear he had woken up from the hour or so of sleep he’d gotten between then and everyone cleaning up after the incident.

But Chan just looked at him expressionlessly before turning and going back downstairs to the couch.

Minho’s expression fell as he watched his brother go.

»»————-　　————-««

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