allhailperseusjackson10

[allhailperseusjackson10]

we talk a lot about how sasuke and naruto are so crazy about each other but there’s never enough attention on how the rest of the naruto cast Also thinks they are two fucking lunatics. like we are not alone on this. you have jiraiya telling naruto he needs to not go and chase a mf who tried to snatch his heart out his ribcage and naruto is like no i’d rather be a fucking moron for the rest of my life honestly. you have naruto leaving a mission and saying sory i cannot stay i need to go home and wait for sasuke and the fucking platypus looks at him ???? like he even had me confused where are you goin g to wait? ? why are you saying that like sasuke is coming back the fuck did i miss??? you have the kage summit arc which is just a whole bucket of ice being dropped onto you because you come in and immediately get slapped in the face by naruto letting himself be beat up because he won’t tell them where sasuke is??? like he has any fucking idea where sasuke is. and sai tries to make him come to his senses like naruto??? naruto WHAT ARE U DOING. it’s so bad they need an intervention. right after that naruto faces the raikage and gets on his knees saying i know my almost boyfriend almost killed your brother but i promise it wasn’t on purpose he was just being silly please don’t put a bounty on his head a war will literally ensue. and like. there’s LAYERS to this. 1. even RAIKAGE is like BOY what are you doing. STAND UP. 2. at this point you can count the people who like sasuke on the fingers of one hand like WHO is gonna start a war over him… naruto out there moving a war against a whole country by himself over his bf ok you go girl i guess. after this it gets even worse like gaara has to go up to him and be like SASUKE DOWSNT CARE ABOUT YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT YOU. and naruto just slaps his hand away in front of his family like rude?????? ignoring anything it is hilariouuusssss and then sai is like sorry. sakura lied to you they are actually off to kill sasuke and naruto gets a panic attack so severe he passes out. like i am not joking it was so bad his friends tried to kill sasuke behind his back. and then naruto escapes bedriddenment (is that a word?) after passing out from his panic attack to run and make sure NOBODY kills sasuke. like he’s on a RUSH leaping those trees he’s a boy on a mission. then after he gets there he’s like kakashi DO NOT TOUCH HIM. they launch themselves at each other bla bla gay monologues did you see what was in my heart and then. and then naruto is like. wait sasuke. and sasuke waits like sorry that’s such a little thing but it’s so funny to me like sasuke was just acting a lil murderous crazy manic wtv but naruto told him to wait and he waits. ok good boyfriend. anyways moving on naruto is like do you get it sasuke. if we fight again we will BOTH DIE! (everybody gets a ?????? bubble) i am the only one who can shoulder all that hatred. i will CARRY THE BURDEN OF YOUR HATRED AND WE WILL DIE TOGETHER! and . absolutely Everybody in that room just goes ???????????? what the FUCK is he TALKING ABKHT. everybody except sasuke. sasuke smirks and he’s like sure. they just talked about dying together and meeting each other in a different life where they’ll be free of their burdens and they’re just Fine and all ok smiling at each other and everyone is so fucking confused. like the entire supporting cast is with us side eyeing sasuke and naruto and thinking what in the everloving FUCK is WRONG WITH YOU????????

[allhailperseusjackson10]

POV: ur watching the naruto sasuke reunion. it’s been three years. sasuke chooses the sluttiest shirt possible. leans the whole front half of his body against naruto in front of three random ppl for no reason. sasuke starts to pull out his blade, and naruto just. stands there. challenges him. almost as if to say “i know you. i know you won’t do it. you spared me that first time. i know it wasn’t on a whim.” and u can see, sasuke looks at naruto from the corner of his eye, unmoving, wondering if naruto will flinch or attack or make a move. sasuke kinda doesn’t want him to. they’re challenging each other. sasuke being like “are you afraid of me” and naruto saying “no i am not afraid of you. i know you still.” so sasuke swings the blade. sai comes in, almost immediately. but naruto doesn’t block sasuke’s sword. in fact, the only hand that naruto raises is his right fist, blocking sai’s tanto blade from touching sasuke at all. naruto protects sasuke. he isn’t afraid of sasuke. he knows he wouldn’t have done it.

AND THEN. you hear sasuke tell naruto, “that block you chose… was the right one.” naruto! had the choice! it was either block sasuke’s blade from stabbing him, or block sai’s blade from hitting sasuke. naruto chose to save sasuke over himself. but can you really blame him! no! this was him telling sasuke “i know you. i am still putting my life in your hands. please be careful. please prove me right.” and sasuke, now knowing naruto’s choice to protect him, says back “you were right. i put my life in your hands, too.”

and that’s it!! the arc is love! the arc is i choose you i still know you i am dressing up in my sluttiest outfit just to feel you close and you could never hurt me and i could never hurt you no matter how close we get to it physically because it is the only language we have learned i would never ever really hurt you. i couldn’t live with myself if i did. the end.

[allhailperseusjackson10]

it always seemed shitty to me that kushina was the one who wanted to be hokage and then this ust never came up again and never got that dream. but also i bet this is minato's secret little fantasy. like what IF kushina was hokage and he got to stay at home taking care of things for her and then occasionally kushina sent him out for murder-y reasons and he got to come home all covered in blood and be like "yes, hokage-sama, whatever you command, hokage-sama--"

[allhailperseusjackson10]

Artober day 29: Sun & Moon

[allhailperseusjackson10]

I think Anakin deserves more clone love, not in the sense of being owed love, but in the sense that fandom tends to put up Obi-Wan as this like… paragon of a Jedi for clones to adore? And Anakin gets dismissed as like “I guess they like Anakin as much as they like any other Jedi, maybe less because he’s reckless and his body count is kinda high” or tolerated-and-ignored at best in some cases, and I disagree!

I think the troopers would genuinely like Anakin as much as Obi-Wan, but in very different ways.

(Canon) Anakin is the same developmental age as the clones at the start of the war. They’re all frat boy age. They relate to Anakin in ways they can’t necessarily relate to the older knights and masters. Obi-Wan is a teacher you want to impress but Anakin is your classmate that passes you notes during lectures. The clones are regimented and wouldn’t pass notes because they’re trained not to ignore said lectures, but my point stands.

Anakin sees contraband and his only comment is “don’t get drunk until we’re back on Coruscant, I don’t want you getting shot if we’re ambushed.” Like he doesn’t even disapprove quietly, he just doesn’t want them getting dead.

Anakin would make jokes about his arm and I think they’d appreciate that.

(Canon) Anakin has repeatedly gone headfirst into dangerous situations without backup even when he’s the least expendable person there. Bro evacuated an entire Venator and flew it alone to deal with a Separatist blockade. He just. Does that. Regularly. The troopers would be angry that he’s risking himself but also kinda flattered and grateful that he jumps into danger with the rest of them.

Anakin’s traumas have been many and varied and I think that if he tried to comfort a clone about something, they’d be able to feel his sincerity about how he Relates, though he might have to trauma dump a bit to get them to believe him.

I don’t think he gets invited to Clone Only Things but I think that if he asks “can I join” and gets awkward “can we even say no?” affirmatives, he recognizes it BETTER than Obi-Wan does because Anakin’s been the slave hiding traditions from free people before, and so he backs out and lets the clones do their thing.

Anakin has definitely traded ration bars with a clone for their preferred flavor if he heard them complaining about it. He then used foraged bugs to enhance the flavor of his own rations. This is considered a plus.

He’s just. A bro. Doing bro things.

Sometimes if a bunch of troopers die, he loses his shit and completely destroys the enemy and the clones know it’s not good for the Jedi to do that but like. It’s flattering and reassuring that he values them.

Anakin comes with a little sister who bites things. This is a plus.

[allhailperseusjackson10]

If there isn't a term for in-laws in Mando'a, I'm going to use "ri" as a prefix, e.g. ri'bu, ri'vod, maybe ri'ad for stepkids too old to be adopted by the parent marrying in?

Best man role could be riduur-vod or something...

[allhailperseusjackson10]

There’s AU-specific “headcanons,” which aren’t really headcanons because they’re actually elements of a specific set of circumstances, and there’s general headcanons that you just default to as either an interpretation of the text or a “this is fun and I’m going to keep using it unless given a really good reason not to.”

Anyway, Plo was Tholme’s teacher so Quinlan is his grandpadawan and no you cannot change my mind.

[allhailperseusjackson10]

SW Masterlist for Wider AUs

Navigation Post

Fun fact, tumblr allows 250 links on the old editor and 100 in the new. So. Network of masterlists.

- List of my Star Wars OCs

Keep reading

[allhailperseusjackson10]

Padme getting jealous when she sees Anakin get excited and fling himself into a hug with That Gorgeous Older Twilek Woman In The Revealing Clothing.

And then Anakin introduces Aayla as “basically my favorite babysitter for a few years, she’s like my cool older sister, isn’t she amazing? Please like my friends.”

[allhailperseusjackson10]

Started drafting up "Han Solo does standup" while I was cutting tomatoes and one of the central jokes is about how he's got two FILs that scare the shit out of him.

"However scary your father-in-law is, I promise you I've got it worse. Remember, my wife is adopted, so I've got two. Her adoptive father is a state senator." [pause for laughter] "and her bio dad is serving multiple life sentences." [pause for louder laughter and roars of shock]

"Believe me when I say my wife approved of these jokes. I would never do anything without her approval. She scares me more than her dad does. It's a good thing she knows I love her. You wanna know how she knows?"

[pause to build excitement, let the audience demand more]

"My wife knows I love her through sickness and health and better and worse and all that crap, because if I didn't love her beyond sanity, I'd have divorced her the first time her bio dad broke out of Riker's!"

[pause for laughter] "Or the second." [second pause for louder laughter intermixed with slight horror] "Or the third, which is the time he kidnapped me." [horrified and nervous laughter]

[wait until the laughter dies down, take a sip of water]

"Honestly, the closest we came to an actual divorce was that one time I joked that white wasn't actually her color."

(Leia, in the audience: He's lucky I love him.)

[allhailperseusjackson10]

Qui-Gon gets necromancied by Dooku for Reasons, but instead of being convinced to join the Seps as the dear Count planned... Qui-Gon goes "oh cool, free grad student" and kidnaps Ventress on his way out of Serreno so he can fix all of That

[allhailperseusjackson10]

I think all negotiations with Dooku during the war should be done through Jocasta.

@atagotiak (Tia):

Au where Qui-Gon survives, Dooku still goes evil. Dooku has to deal with the bitter divorcee and the estranged kid Oh hey, official communication about something that is publicly broadcast or whatever A fairly small percentage of the population tunes in because hey, even if it’s important it’s boring political stuff But then Jocasta and Dooku are… well they’re mostly taking this seriously, it is important. But as old friends/lovers who miss each other but are also very bitter they can’t resist being kinda bitchy at each other Anyways. Memes

There's at least one "you couldn't even remember our 20th anniversary, how can you be trusted to run an entire half of the galaxy" moment, and it spreads like wildfire.

Just like that, EVERYONE is watching, just in case there's more juicy gossip about Behind The Scenes Jedi.

"You never even reached out to your grandpadawans, and then the first time you meet them--"

I just love the idea of Jocasta airing the dirty laundry, and because Dooku already admitted that, while Jedi don't marry he was as close to that as possible with this woman, all her comments are read into with "bitter that her husband ran off" instead of "Jedi angling to spike the war higher."

Tia:

Also. Accidentally using nicknames Also also, pointedly using titles I’m just imagining Dooku slipping up and calling her Jo and Jocasta calling him Count in response

"Better than any soap opera" -- Coruscant Daily

"A delightful and sordid look into the private lives of Jedi, current and former" -- Alderaan Gazette

"Exclusive interview with Count Dooku's grandson, General Kenobi, following scandalous accusations by Madame Nu is the Order" -- Herald of Theed (The very first line of that one is Obi-Wan insisting "grandpadawan, not grandson.")

@thisarenotarealblog (Docc):

"we're not blood related. I'm from stewjon and he's from serenno. It would take a large amount of extraordinary coincidences for that to be the case. " "Master Kenobi I'm given to understand that much of your life is composed of extraordinary coincidences." "....no, don't do this to me, I already checked"

Anakin, face too close to the microphone: Senator Amidala says that dependent health insurance cuts off at 26 on Serreno. The galaxy is interpreting the lineage as adoptive parenting, so Dooku should be paying for my health care. Reporter: Isn't your healthcare already free--" Anakin: Irrelevant.

Tia:

Someone films a rant that Jocasta def didn’t mean to make public: “Hurting his grandpadawans, starting a war, invading planets, vandalizing libraries….”

[allhailperseusjackson10]

One of my favorite pointless headcanons is that Korkie isn't a Kenobi, but specifically because Satine had a pregnancy scare while she was with Obi-Wan at age eighteen, and they never risked anything that could result in a pregnancy again because of how much the almost-baby freaked them out. Korkie was born to a Kryze cousin a few years later, and ended up in Satine's care shortly after due to assassination of the cousin. She needed an heir anyway.

(It is, of course, entirely plausible that Satine was on BC but missed a dose because of Getting Shot At Syndrome, or had to take some medication that negated an implant in order to recover from Having Been Stabbed Disease and, well, shit happens.)

(Padme had no such excuse.)

But anyway I do really like the idea of Satine and Obi-Wan having had a pregnancy scare Once as teens and then when, twenty years later, Anakin tries to delicately broach the subject of Korkie's paternity with Obi-Wan he just gets an amused "Trust me, the timing doesn't work out" because Obi-Wan's been getting these questions for years.

[allhailperseusjackson10]

So yesterday I messaged @willowcrowned this story about a rich young dude fucking around on grindr, and said:

Hear me out……. Xanatos if he was a fraction more chill.

And, being us, we ran with it!

He left the Order, realized being evil was Not Great, phoned up Rael for advice, ended up a Rich Boy Slut. He’s got so much money and he’s just spending it on lavish hotel rooms and food for his hookups.

He’s The Rocking Twink Your Mom Warned You About.

Willow:

Qui-Gon hears about this and the first conversation he has with Obi-Wan is “you know, I heard Leonard Bernstein used to be a slut sometimes”

Obi-Wan ten years later: now I don’t know if he was trying to discourage me from being a slut or encourage me to become a classical composer but either way that is the way he thought to frame it

Qui-Gon reconciles with Feemor after Rael phones him up to say “Your kid isn’t evil anymore, he’s just fucking his way through the Mid Rim now, don’t worry about it.”

Qui-Gon’s just so glad Feemor isn’t a slut too

he’s having such a confusing week

Qui-Gon: At least he’s not killing babies or enslaving planets, I guess?

Qui-Gon: I’m not sure I’m happy with where we’ve ended up but it’s definitely better than where we were headed so I’ll take it.

Keep reading

[allhailperseusjackson10]

While im on the subject, here is my no 1 star wars would be so good if it was good take:

Palpatine using the force to kill Padme.

On a basic logical level it very neatly explains why the medical droids can't do anything. Of course they can't do anything, he's using ancient sith powers that no-one knows how to counter

On a narrative level it provides a pay off for Palpatine being implied to have power over life & death that's otherwise missing

The idea that you can kill someone with the dark side by draining their will to live until they just die of despair? Genuinely chilling concept

Also adds an extra layer of pure evil to Palpatine's plan. Like yes he legit did have the powers he implied to Anakin. No he was never for a moment planning to share them.

I honestly do think this might have been the intention?? But like. Should have actually been in the text if so.

[allhailperseusjackson10]

hamilton quote in 2023 again? yeah

now animated

[allhailperseusjackson10]

Clone wars AU where the chips never got activated. In the aftermath of Palpatine’s death, the troopers are so horrified by the thought of Order 66 that they go hole up in Kamino. The Jedi let them do it for a few weeks while they’re unfortunately too busy cleaning up the mess, but then they just,,,,, camp outside their front door. For months. The clones will not outstubborn them this time, no sir. They brought umbrellas, food, books, and lots and lots of tea. So much tea. Soon they’re having little mini festival days waiting for the clones to come out already. It is very confusing for the vode.

On one hand, order 66. Chips. Horror. Their life is even more of a lie, they don't want to hurt the jedi, they're ashamed of essentially being a Trojan horse to the Jedi.

On the other hand, apparently the jedi are all idiots who camp out in the ever pouring rain and are they building a mini temple on our front porch??????