#not sure if that's silly to think especially since he probably has scars and those are ALSO identifiable

[zachfoxx121]

Okay so I really really really like Russell Adler

Here are some of my favourite headcannons for him. (Featuring other cold war characters)

Alright so first up is his past!! Bro was born in 1937, between WW1 and WW2. He knows both German and Russian, so I like to think either his mom or dad (hell, maybe both) are immigrants from around those areas of Europe. To push that, his file doesn't say where he was born, just the date he was born. And a language is arguably easier learned if its in a household than in a book. Pronunciation and all that. Maybe his parents/one of them were Jewish too, and thats why they immigrated to the USA? It's also debatable if he was even born in the USA, since as I before mentioned, his birthplace isn't filed.

This headcannon is kinda borrowed, I cant remember who I original saw say it, but due to Adler's scar he has trouble/can't smile. It happened after 1968, but before 1981. When you ask him how he got his scar, he doesn't give a truthful answer, like Parks had said. "Oh I had trouble with a girl," "missed and fell," or "a tiger got me." My biggest guess, just from how it looks like a shrapnel wound, is its probably embarrassing. I like to think it was from a mine, maybe even a helicopter accident. But due to its position, it mightve damaged some facial muscles, and makes it hard to upturn a side/both sides of his lips. With scars, depending on how deep, nerve endings get fucked up and make it hard to move certain muscles, yknow?

This ones a bit silly, and has to do with Bell (I always play Bell as male, so sorry if I say "he" instead of "they" as their pronoun.) because I'm such a sucker for their relationship. Since Bell just kinda gets dumped on him, and their about the same build/height, I like to imagine he just dumps all his old/unwanted clothes into Bell's closet. In his file people he works with have described him as fashionable, and I don't know how good he gets paid, so he might go through clothes pretty fast to keep up with the times.

(Also for fem Bell, I imagine it's the same as this but with Park's old/unwanted clothes.)

Building on that, hes probably fashionable so wherever he is he doesn't seem out of place. With his scar it may be a bit difficult to blend in, but if he wears stylish enough clothes thats probably what grabs people attention more. "That guy had such a nice jacket," "did you see his shoes?" Even the difference between his '81 look and his new '91 do good to show his ability to keep up with fashion.

This headcannon is a bit more for Bell, but depending on which occupation you give them (CIA, MI6, ex-KGB) I like to imagine thats the accent they have post brainwash. With CIA, he has Adler's accent, and MI6 he copies Park's. With ex-KGB just a russian accent, which would probably be more realistic since it can be difficult to literally change an accent, but bro was experimented on so much it could have!!

I mention Adler in that because I like thinking of Bell saying a word and everyone being like "why'd they say it like Adler", because even in the USA theres so many accents!! Like even Mason and Woods have slightly different accents, especially if you think about the og voices in bo1.

This headcannon is a bit sad (and a big spoiler for the end of the "Good Ending"). After Adler shoots Bell, I think he stayed to make sure Bell was really dead. To make sure they bled out. In that though, I think he let Bell have one of his cigs, even smoked with him while he died. "Least I can do for you, kid." He didn't let Bell die alone. I really think it was hard for him to kill Bell, but he just had to shut the feeling down because it was (most likely) an order. Even though its probably more likely he shot Bell in the head, better than Arash did.

Anywho thats all I feel like typing out rn have fun with these some of them are constantly playing in my head!!!! :)))

[bleue-flora]

Hello, I come to you with a silly prompt!

In what way do you think Dream is disabled/affected post-prison and if he does, what do you think he does to hide it?

So I’ve loved all of the different answers to this, lots of fun. Sorry to be late in the game. Like usual I’m probably gonna make this more complicated than it needs to be. No surprise there though lol XD. But ya know you asked for my thoughts so here are my thoughts, as messy as they are.

See this is hard for me because there is a divide between what we know for sure is canon, what we can speculate in general and what is more fun to imagine. As well as, the difference between Minecraft and our physical world. Because like obviously no one can actually survive living that close to lava, so we have to decide which elements would match our world consequences and which wouldn’t.

Because it’s Minecraft and things aren’t necessary like the real world, I play looser with some of the effects. So things like for example messed up vision from the lava don’t apply. I mean everyone spends times in mines, the nether, even has lava in their house so it’s not something I personally include. The same with things like seizures and such.

When it comes to canon, obviously we know potions exist in this world, but the thing is there is never confirmation of them being used in the prison. They don’t appear in Quackity’s or Sam’s inventory (besides fire res) when they visit and during the visits we get to see, Dream is munching on potatoes to heal. So does that mean he never gets potions since basic food can work to heal in Minecraft or does he get some only with more severe and dangerous injuries or something. Or would he have sustained less serious injuries because the potatoes can only heal so much. Then again canonically Quackity is swinging a diamond sword and a netherite axe around, which aren’t exactly gonna do small damage.

And the thing with scars is that the only scars we know of are from canonical deaths, meaning Dream would probably have some from the other time he went to limbo (or multiple if went multiple times), and Tommy killing him (quite a few actually given how many arrows he took and stuff in staged finale) but there’s not necessarily confirmation of scars other than that, and Quackity can’t exactly take credit for those.

There’s also the question of whether he was dying and respawning as non canon deaths, especially because again Quackity is using some high damage weapons. Though I tend to lean away from believing that since that isn’t shown except with Sam accidentally killing Dream after Techno escapes.

I also don’t personally think he suffered anything super noticeable because the guards in prison as well as Ghostbur and Tommy and even Techno, don’t mention the torture. Ghostbur and Tommy don’t notice anything, Techno has to be told, and the guards like Badboyhalo even after hearing screaming still seems almost unsure of himself. Plus, Antfrost talks about visiting Dream and yet had no clue about the torture until Bad brings it up. So in my mind he doesn’t have anything too mutilated or missing body part wise, because that’d be kinda obvious. This includes eyes and also even missing fingers (though if he is missing one let’s just all agree it’d be his left hand ring finger because of Quackity’s breakup with his fiancés… ;]). (Though if we decide they were using potions then it’s interesting to play around with the idea of Quackity doing something like cutting off his arm and Sam having to fix that like I did in my fanfiction.)

So in my mind, no major cosmetic things, besides being smaller due to poor diet and starvation. Though again, in my mind it’s not quite the same as real world so I don’t like to imagine him as grotesquely skin and bones if that makes sense… (look he can be broken and still pretty ;D).

But despite what I said, I do like to imagine he has scars and I think potions may not have been a staple but probably did happen if Quackity ever went too far. Maybe early on before Quackity mastered his craft a bit more or later when he became more and more enraged and extreme in his desperation to break Dream. Either way, I think it was a rare occasion type deal. And because of that, in my mind he does actually have scars because the potatoes provide poor healing. So other people dying by falling in a hole or fight in a war don’t really have scars from that duo to respawn and potions or golden apples, while Dream deprived of that would have more lasting effects (because as someone with many scars I like to imagine he has some as a testimony to what he went through). This also means that some of his broken bones perhaps didn’t heal properly causing some pain or even having things not quite right. So fingers bent wrong if you really studied them or knees misaligned or whatever. So some sensation of pain at all times is pretty guaranteed. Though even without injuries healed wrong he’d still have chronic pain because scar tissue is very sensitive and messes up the nerves so it freaking hurts, it hurts to move, it hurts to touch, it hurts to use… etc.

One of the things he’d do would obviously be to the cover the scars to hide them from view, because embarrassment, shame, looking weak… etc but he’d definitely do it in really soft and not super tight fitting clothes because again the skin is sensitive.

I sometimes like to imagine that injuries that are obvious and badly healed enough he would like break them and reheal them, maybe even with Punz’s help. In general, though broken bones, concussions and stuff heal on their own given time so even if not the best, things heal eventually and Dream is up and about swinging an axe so it ain��t like he’s too debilitated. Still, moving and stuff would be painful and he’s definitely not in shape like he was so it makes sense why he uses so many pearls all the time and why Tubbo would say to Punz in the finale about killing him, “He was sluggish—he was slow—he was out of practice we took him by surprise.”

Though, I do think sluggish and slow could also be a reference to his mental ability as well, implying he isn’t as quick witted or as good at reacting, something that if you watch that finale fight does align. His counter measures aren’t super fast especially compared to how adaptable and swiftly clever he was before.

Obviously, he likely has Depression, PTSD, and an Anxiety disorder, as a result. Anxiety is the one we seen him at least try to mitigate by finding the most secure place to sleep so he can feel less stressed out, not going out and provoking people to avoid being attacked, kinda blocking out the world and stuff, not great for his depression though nor his PTSD…

I also imagine he’d be the type of person to think he could get over fears and trauma by exposure. Like sleeping in the cell with the lava down to remind himself he doesn’t need to be afraid of it… things like that perhaps. With limited success.

I imagine he has a lot of nightmares so he mitigates this by not sleeping as much as possible. Old habits die hard I guess…

Based off of Bad talking to Antfrost after the prison break about how he thinks someone was coming in and torturing Dream: “Anytime I would go and visit Dream he would be all shaky and he wouldn’t wanna talk.” I’d say Dream does shake, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of weakness, sometimes out of stress, and sometimes because his body doesn’t work as it should. He mitigates this by trying to build up his strength and change strategies in battle if it ever gets debilitating, like switching to food, pearls, potions or TNT. He does a lot of pearling and running, and he never takes off his armor in fear of what might be around the corner.

Despite living in isolation for so long, he’s not overly social like he used to be. He goes days, weeks even without really talking to anyone between spurts of being overly talkative and needing interaction.

When talking to people, perhaps he hides his hands behind his back when they shake, he wears his mask to hide anything he might feel - fear, panic, sorrow, they can’t really see the tears building in his eyes or falling down his face that way. They can’t even really tell he’s hyperventilating unless they are paying attention.

He likes to do a lot of pushing down his feelings, which worked in the prison, it’s a good way to survive but it’s no way to heal. Maybe he schedules his meltdowns or panic to a later time - He’ll get upset about the fight with Quackity at home, he can’t breakdown in the streets now.

Maybe he spends days feeling numb, not leaving his bed, feeling like there’s no point. It’s better that way, if he doesn’t do anywhere he’s safe. If Punz asks he’ll lie, and Punz won’t believe him but he won’t push either………….

“Purpled, do you know what that does to a man do you know the limits that people have it—it goes beyond those limits its not okay.”

[vargaslovinghours]

Requestober 2023: Vargas Edition

The playlist has returned for this year! There will be a few in between, but it should be updating at least once a week on either Wednesday or Friday or both - keep an eye out for your req(s)!

I considered a couple different lines for day 1 - there are just so many Narrator lines that could work for Scriabin! Any of the many times where the Narrator is being sadistic, it all just works. Plus, it’s fun to imagine Scriabin trapping Edgar in the same way, just shoops a wall right into his path haha

But in the end I went for one of the tags I left myself on the original TSP/Vargas crossover doodles, it does still live in my head rent-free after all. You can see in the background that those “invisible” tears were intended from the beginning as well :3c

There’s also something funny to me about Scriabin using the word “rubbish” haha ♪ How posh

Edgar, as usual, getting blame for something that was definitely his Narrator, I mean Scriabin’s fault lol

I really wasn’t sure what to do with day 2 at first - I’m too scared to watch any of the SAWs, or look them up on YouTube >~< I tried finding transcripts with stage direction or people describing them in text online but I couldn’t really find anything, I really do appreciate my friend for telling me about one haha. Even with that though, I still had to do a lot of guesswork! Something about wrists, fear, not doing well - Scriabin is very cute hiding behind Edgar but it’s still not very obvious what the theme is, huh?

I was able to find a very brief animation of I think? the trap that had been described to me but even that was a bit much for me :’D I was a very wimp that day! I didn’t even have it in me to draw the trap itself in the sketch! There’s something a bit ominous about not being able to see into the trap completely, only the blood pooling at the bottom ♪ But I’m still happy I went with what I did in the end, though I did have to change Scriabin’s dialogue from fear to accusation - though that tracks for him haha

Day 3 was silly and therefore easy to whip up haha ♪ The angst is done, the blood is done, this leaves only kisses! Any opportunity to use my pencils to make kiss-marks, I will take lol. Clearly this is what the prompt was pointing at! Obviously! Lol

If you look, Jake’s lips are painted pink and Scriabin’s red, and they have each other’s lipstick marks on their faces lol - I am attention to detail when it comes to kisses ♪

I did still end up making an alt even after pretty much decided on the first one, it’s still fun to think about Scriabin interacting with Jake before he gets his own body ♫ He’s so smug lol, at least they’re easy to cover! Ish! Mostly! Probably itch tho lol

Day 5, yaaay some Biblical Edgar <3 I have been out of practice drawing wings lately so they’re basically just Big Shapes here lol, it’s all about blocking out the space they’ll take for when it’s cleaned! I am quite happy with how he turned out digitally, his cute face ♥

Day 7 got a couple passes as well before settling! It’s a theme lol, though there were both kidverse! The prompt mentioned “brothers” but that doesn’t necessarily mean when they were kids - they can be silly and sibling-like even After, they have the range. Still, Edgar pushing him on the swing as a kid was a cute idea so I’m glad I at least scratched it down haha. Why’s he so heavy? He’s dense ♪

The alt was the winner tho! I love how much like a bug Scriabin looks here haha, how could he have possibly seen this coming??

Day 8′s sketch was done outside in the dark actually, stargazing very appropriate!  You can kinda see me go back and forth on their clothes in the moment lol, Edgar’s striped shirt visible on his upper arms underneath his long sleeves and I still ended up going with a scarf! I also planned to make their breath clouds but I forgot them in the end, that background took up a lot of my focus lol. Also how come Edgar’s feet turned out better here than in the final version >:P

Gaster! A warmup for Day 9 since it’s been a bit since I’ve drawn him, especially with the cracks in his face! Scriabin is annoying his offscreen so it still totally counts as being Vargas-themed lol

Their poses were a bit subdued initially so I knew I wanted to try again, but at the same time there are a lot of elements here that I liked! Especially their hands, Gaster holding his hands in fists at his sides rather than speaking to Scriabin through sign language, and Scriabin with his flourish-opened palm, inviting ♪

Actual pose skeletons lol, though Gaster’s was a bit top-heavy. It all worked out in the end at least :)

Day 11 was a very fun concept! Turning Scriabin into an Enderman was an especially fun idea if Edgar could figure/find out that he could hide from him using a pumpkin mask, though I’m sure that would make Scriabin mad as well once he found him haha. Just sneeaaak quietly behind him, he’ll never know! Also the pumpkin having Edgar’s glasses, goatee, and scars carved into it haha <3

All the same, I’m glad I went with what I did - Scriabin’s pose is so much more dynamic! Very fun! His hands and his legs, and the way his coat flares out! Plus putting his Ender teeth on display was a lot of fun haha ♪ Poor Edgar can’t catch a break no matter what world he’s in, at least I didn’t actually turn him into a sheep lol

Day 12, yaaaay I finally got to Uncle Jake! So nervous <3 Don’t break the baby, don’t hurt him don’t move too much ahhh! Haha, terribly cute ♥ I do still really love how confident Edgar is here - he’s usually so nervous around Jake, but oh how the tables! Dadgar with a support system <3 His FWB comes to say hi to his son, it’s very wholesome hehe ♪

Day 13 was actually drawn way of out of order, between several of the later days and even day 12 I think lol, it’s so hard to convince my brain to listen to new music haha. It was quite a lot of fun making the text not look like it’s “spoken,” outside of a text bubble hehe, I don’t do that too often! And of course still deeply inspired by his palette challenge, it is too pretty to not pull from every not and again <3

Honestly I initially had no ideas for day 14, and yet this was still the only sketch I ended up with! My earworm at the time came in clutch, honestly do listen to Everything In You it’s such pretty yearning starcrossed song ah <3 All these musical doodles haha ♪ Sweetness sweetness <3

And of course when they’re that close there has to be a kiss! Scriabin is surprised, but how much? :3c Edgar giving Scriabin kisses of his own accord 💖 That theme never really left me either hehe

Day 27, the last Vargas day! Had to get in one Snake Charmer before the end huh haha ♪ It’s too bad my Ladyverse!Naga idea was a bit too long or I would’ve done that, but I’ll never turn down the potential for pretty clothes! And spiders for that matter haha, I went with the Acanthoscurria Geniculata - Brazilian Whiteknee again :) As much as I love Scriabin as a Bold Jumper, tarantulas just have such gorgeous proportions! And of course, I always enjoy drawing Lady!Scriabin, so it was doubly fun to draw her as a spider :)

That’s all of this year’s Vargas sketches! A fun bunch! And it was fun to mix a few others in as well :D

[lumiereandcogsworth]

that baseball ask you sent (which I'm answering rn :3) made me wonder if Belle or Adam or any of their kiddos ever play sports? or enjoy any? 👁️

FUN QUESTION YAY!!! i am going to divide it between canon and modern au because i think about BOTH.

CANON:

adam: he… does not like exercise at all. he got teased a lot as young lad for preferring to sit in the shade (or inside) and read during recreational time, rather than joining the other boys in activities. now, i did a bit of digging, and actually at this point in time, france wasn’t a very sporty place. they were much more into the ✨intellectualism✨ of it all. and sports were rough and grimy. blegh! even still, the upper class (i.e. where Prince Adam would be hanging, if you can believe it) had lots of tennis, fencing, and equestrian things. i think adam liked Watching equestrian races/obstacle courses/polo matches, (and probably(definitely) developed crushes on some jockeys) but wasn’t super interested in Doing those things. he preferred to just ride horses freely, not so much for challenge’s sake. but he loves horses a lot so watching them was fun for him :3 anyway, he hated tennis because there’s way too much running and coordination involved and you’re usually just standing directly in the sun. disgusting. even if it was indoors it’s too SWEATYYY. BUT! i do think he enjoyed fencing a lot! he sees it as less exerting (though it is) and more of an art form to master. and he was pretty good at it! which was a nice confidence boost. i have a fic that’s a few years old but it’s when adam & belle are still courting and they FENCE!! it’s incredibly adorable. here it is

belle: ACTIVE ADVENTURE GIRL WHO RAN LIKE A MILE AFTER GASTON PROPOSED TO HER????? hell yeah she sports. like i said though, “sports” weren’t much of a thing. and especially since she didn’t have any friends to play with :( BUT i absolutely think that her and maurice would toss/kick a ball back and forth of SOME kind. you can’t convince me otherwise. she always wanted to be outside!! and maurice was with her much of the time!! so i think they played catch. i also hc that he taught her how to swim in the river that flows past the village, and i think she’d enjoy swimming A LOT. when she learns about mermaids she loses her freaking mind and wishes on stars to become one. but anyway, she was as sporty as a french 18th century village girl could be!! she climbed trees constantly (definitely has lots of little scars like giselle!!) and loved to RUN ! she just had (and still has) So Much Energy. she also just made up a lot of silly games that requires running between trees and making her own obstacle courses. and as an adult, as QUEEN! i think she enjoys tennis and plays with either her kiddos or her ladies in waiting. (or just anyone. i could see her being like “hello sir we need to figure out this business thing. shall we discuss over a game of tennis?” and he’s just like ??? okay ?? your majesty ???????)

renée: SPEAKING OF ENERGY! little renée is just like her mama. loves running and jumping and climbing!!!! but a major difference is they grew up in entirely different stations!! when renée grows older she gets REALLY into polo and maybe even equestrian obstacle courses - though idk the policies on women doing that stuff at that point >:/ but she’s the princess royal so fuck you. anyway she also enjoyed fencing and tennis when she went to university. (i don’t think she was super good at either of them but… she does her best) she’s just such a horse girl !! so that’s where she shined. (her & adam sometimes go to horse races/shows together,,, bonding time. i’m sure belle joins a lot too but she’s BUSY and adam is more willing to play hooky from work, lmao)

juliette: not really a sports girlie. she loves running around and playing with her siblings !! but she wasn’t as brave in terms of climbing trees, and she was afraid of horses until she was like, 8 (and even then, she’d only ride with adam or belle). i think her favorite way to be active is either going on walks or swimming :)

maurice: little reecy is much like his mama too, just chaos and running and climbing. he has fun swimming too. he also likes to WRESTLE even though he’s not all that muscular. he and his best friend xavier, since they were toddlers, simply attack each other for fun. (maurice also likes picking play fights with adam, and adam’s always like sON PLEASE— but maurice has already tackled him onto the bed or sofa adjskd) anyway i think it would be so funny if he just absolutely DOMINATED in tennis when he goes to university. like just an absolute legend. they put his name on the plaque in the trophy hall and everything. and what’s so annoying is he doesn’t even care about it that much. he’s just having fun and making friends. he’s one of those people that is naturally good at a lot of things… very annoying but he’s so charming and sweet that you don’t even care 😮‍💨

(oh and, obviously, all the kids are WELL verses in many many many different dances. just comes with the 18th century royal territory ✨ they all took classes and they all enjoyed it to varying degrees!)

okay, MODERN AU!

adam: once again, sports were not his vibe. PE class was a damn nightmare for every possible reason. later on when he’s with belle, she Tries to take him on runs or at least to do some yoga or something. and he just hates it man😭 “why must you TORTURE ME” but then it always bites him in the ass later because he’ll be groaning from aging and being randomly sore and belle’s like “if only you stretched!😌☕️” and he’s just like 😒

belle: sooo sporty as a kid, i can’t even decide if she had a favorite. soccer basketball softball volleyball track cross country tennis lacrosse swim team ?? i think she’d enjoy basketball and soccer most, just because they’re the most stimulating and active. but she really did enjoy trying all of them!!! i think cross country was also lovely for her bc she could just run and THINK! in college she probably took a lot of fitness classes (i took kickboxing and spin, which she Definitely would too) and just be at the rec center as much as she could (which unfortunately wouldn’t be much, since she was doing two majors and So Busy). and as an adult she probably is always doing some kind of fitness class, as well as going to gyms to swim! and going on runs when the weather is nice (the runs make adam uneasy because WHAT IF SOMEONE KIDNAPS YOU!!!! so she’s like 🙄 and turns on location on her phone so he can check if it’s been Too Long. also he makes her carry pepper spray. the man worries Okay) anyway she’s always doin somethin <3

renée: again, like belle, she tried lots of sports!! not as many as her mama, but lots. she also did dance/ballet for many years. like from toddler age to maybe 10 or 11 or so. and that took a lot of her time, but she still somehow found a way to try other sports too. i think of the ones she tried she probably liked volleyball the most. and it’s the only one she did in high school. (she focused more on academic stuff anyway, so one sport was satisfactory). she’s still a horsegirl in modern au though and, given their financial capabilities, she probably did horse stuff on the side like polo. i think she always wanted her own horse but it was never realistic, she focused more on other things and couldn’t devote her time to it. but she definitely complained about it A LOT when she was younger. looking back as an adult though she’s glad she didn’t Have A Horse to care for still. she had her favorites at the ranch she’d go to and that was good enough!

juliette: still not a sports girlie! lmao. PE was Also a damn nightmare 😭 but she did ballet with renée for a handful of years as well, and i think she liked taking swim classes, so adam & belle found some kind of swim team club thing for her to join that was less intense than school competitions. (which Really helped her get a tad better at socializing !! but still always a struggle for her 😞) anyway i think she still swims sometimes in college, but is much more focused on school and being in the orchestra (we got a violin prodigy over here!!!!) so it’s less and less. but as an adult she walks and such. whenever her & renée can meet and catch up, they go on long walks together :”3 and sometimes horseback riding !

maurice: okay reecy ALSO did ballet as a kid, just like his sisters, but he only did it a few years because he got Really Into Baseball !!!!! so he traded his dancing shoes for CLEATS! i think he did other sports too, soccer, track, maybe even tennis to be reminiscent of his 18th century counterpart, but baseball is his love. he may even play in college, perhaps! as an adult i can totally see him being the baseball couch for his nieces/nephews/kids later on. i think he’d enjoy that a lot :”3 AND he’d also be really into hiking. he’d wanna be all “into the wild” and go on a solo hike somewhere lesser known but adam 1000% forbid it. “that boy was an idiot. you’re not doing that.” and maurice says “DAD! don’t speak ill of the DEAD!” and adam goes “my point entirely😮‍💨” but anyway reece obeys and only goes on hikes with groups of friends and in Relatively Known Areas🙄. he even drags his family on a hike every now and then when they’re all adults! only belle and his partner eloise really enjoy it with him 💔 reecy & belle prob do (VERY CUTE) mother-son hikes sometimes though!!!!!🥹

[sokkastyles]

I came here from the Game of Thrones fandom, the “it was just like that back then in ye olden times” excuse was ridiculous there, and it’s especially ridiculous as an excuse to justify something that is clearly framed as NOT justifiable by the show in a fantasy world. As much as ATLA takes inspiration from Asian cultures, it is not a historical show.

But even if we look at what was considered culturally acceptable in the Fire Nation, what Ozai did to Zuko isn’t justifiable. Not that it matters in any case, but what Ozai does is not even reasonable by any rules of agni kais that we might get from what little canon says about it and historical influences that we might use as examples. The fact that we have so little given to us in canon makes the “oh, it was culturally acceptable” thing rather silly at best because we don’t know what was considered culturally acceptable. At worst it’s rather racist to be like “that’s just how their culture is, oh those brutal and primitive nonwhites,” especially when it is specifically established in the series that the roots of Fire Nation culture from which the agni kai originated are NOT the war-mongering military-obsessed values that the FN embraced after Sozin.

Even if we took the agni kai between Zuko and Ozai at face value, there are a number of things about it that immediately make it an unfair fight. Zuko himself tells his father “how can you possibly justify a duel with a child,” and that it was cruel and wrong. Zuko was thirteen years old. And since Zuko specifically mentions his age when he tells Ozai it was wrong, I think we can say that we would not be remiss in imposing modern standards. There’s no evidence that ritualistic duels between children and adults would be considered normal. It may have been accepted because Ozai was the Fire Lord, but I’m sure there were plenty of people, even people who witnessed it, like Iroh, who thought fighting a child was despicable but maybe wouldn’t say anything to go against the Fire Lord. 

We do know that an Agni Kai carries spiritual and cultural significance, and we also know from “Winter Solstice” that not all of the Fire Sages, the religious authorities in the Fire Nation, were down with the way Sozin ran things. It is made explicit in the series that Ozai and his ancestors were responsible for creating a spiritual imbalance in the world, so I think it can also be assumed that what we see of the agni kai ritual in the series itself is a twisted version of what it was originally intended to be. The wiki says that before Sozin’s rule, agni kais were rarely fought to the death, but that changed after Sozin’s regime and the emphasis on mercy and compassion being seen as weakness.

In addition to the fact that Zuko was a child when he was challenged by Ozai, I think it also goes without saying that the fact that Ozai is Zuko’s father as well as the Fire Lord means that there is a huge power imbalance there. This isn’t a duel between equals. Let’s look at what the wiki says about the agni kai ritual:

Any firebender may participate in an Agni Kai. Fire Lords can also be challenged, but that rarely occurs, as most Fire Lords are among the most powerful firebenders in the world.

I hear you saying “but sokkastyles, it says any firebender can participate and surely that means that children can fight duels with adults!” To which I say, common sense is your friend, please get to know it.

What I wanted to draw your attention to, though, is the statement that Fire Lords are rarely challenged to agni kais because they are among the most powerful in the world. Makes sense, right? It’d be pretty stupid to challenge the most powerful firebender alive to a firebender duel, unless you were pretty sure of your abilities. That doesn’t prohibit the Fire Lord from challenging others or fighting in the place of someone else, but it does ensure a pretty unbalanced fight. Which brings me to the next point, which was that Zuko did not even know he was fighting the Fire Lord. I think a lot of people forget this but it’s a key detail in whether or not you can consider this to be a legally or culturally justifiable fight. Even if you consider Zuko able to fully consent as a thirteen year old to fighting against an adult, against the Fire Lord, against his father, Zuko very obviously cannot knowingly consent to fighting someone that he didn’t even know he was fighting��until the last moment, when it was too late to back down.

I’ve also seen people say that Ozai only burned Zuko because Zuko refused to fight, but here’s the thing. Given what I just outlined, Zuko was put in a situation that he could not reasonably consent to, that he obviously could not win, and then is punished for backing down. This is not a mere cultural ritual. This is Ozai deliberately manipulating the situation so that no matter what Zuko did, he would get hurt. And I don’t for a minute believe that Zuko would be spared if he had chosen to fight. If Zuko had chosen to fight, he would most likely have been cast as disloyal, the kind of disloyal son who would attack his father, and quickly defeated, and Ozai probably would have branded him as a result of his dishonor just the same. As it is, Ozai exerts his will against an adolescent who is begging and crying on the ground in front of him.

The wiki also says that a challenge has to be accepted, and we don’t see Zuko accept the challenge in the flashback, but even if he did, he was accepting it without the full knowledge of who he would be fighting, which renders his ability to accept moot if we go by most people’s understanding of legal consent (and, again, children cannot legally consent in any case, but anyway). Once he does see who he is fighting, he immediately tries to back out of it, but by then it isn’t an option. If Zuko isn’t given an option to decline then he can’t actually meaningfully accept the challenge.

Here’s another interesting tidbit from the wiki:

The Agni Kai is an ancient Fire Nation tradition. Fire duels have been fought for hundreds of years. However, such a duel is a grave matter, meant to be a last resort when all else fails or is insufficient to settle a dispute.

Did Ozai fight his son to settle a dispute? Was it a last resort, after other means of peaceful resolution had failed? I’m not gonna debate about whether a teenager speaking out during an important meeting justifies a duel or if burning a child’s face is an acceptable form of corporeal punishment. I think even by the rules of hypermasculine fantasy violence this would be considered a disproportionate response. My purpose is to point out that even by the established rules of hypermasculine fantasy fire land, it still would be considered a gross abuse of the system. Even the people on Zuko’s crew, who are all Fire Nation military, are shocked to hear the story. Jee says he assumed that Zuko was in a training accident and is nicer and more sympathetic to Zuko after learning how Zuko was scarred. Which would not be the case if the narrative that Ozai spins about Zuko losing his honor and being disrespectful and thus deserving to be burned were universally culturally accepted as true. I think there were enough people who thought it was, the Zhaos who bought into the fascist regime and glorification of violence. And yes, learning that it wasn’t justified was part of Zuko unlearning all the fascist BS his nation had been indoctrinated with, but it’s also made clear that Ozai wasn’t just acting within the rules of his society and that Zuko had to unlearn a lot of psychological conditioning due to his father’s abuse, and that included the idea that he deserved to be hurt. Ozai uses fascist values to justify hurting Zuko but what lies behind it is Ozai’s desire to use his power to hurt his son, and abusive people will frequently find ways of justifying their actions, by whatever means.

It’s also funny that people who bend over backwards to justify Ozai attacking a crying, surrendering child (from any direction, legally, morally, culturally, I don’t care) are often the same people who claim that Zuko was somehow taking advantage of Azula by fighting her when she was unstable and would have tried to kill him and harm others regardless of whether he had accepted her challenge.

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

Part 4 of the newest train fic! part one | next

Geraskier | T | five times Geralt tries to tell Jaskier he loves him and one time he succeeds.

For some time after that, things return to normal and Jaskier is surprisingly quiet about his scar. It haunts Geralt's thoughts. He thinks about it during the days, especially when they're camped out and at the mercy of anything that might show up to hurt them. Geralt keeps his eyes and ears open, always alert. And even when he sleeps, he dreams about it sometimes, a nocturnal reminder that this is his fault, that if Jaskier had stayed put in Posada all those years ago, he would never have gotten hurt, he wouldn't have that terrible scar now.

And Jaskier has assured him it's nothing, reminded him that Geralt also has scars and they're a mark of survival, but Geralt finds it hard to believe. Not when Jaskier still winces when he bends at the wrong angle or when he has to apply ointment in the evenings before bed. Geralt doesn't think of it as a mark of survival because even though Jaskier did survive, he never should have been in danger in the first place. Without Geralt in his life, he could have been somewhere warm and cozy, home somewhere or in someone's bed, but instead he was in the wrong place at the wrong time because he insists on following Geralt around. Or, rather, because Geralt isn't strong enough to tell him to leave.

And for a little while, things are calm. Geralt keeps his thoughts to himself and Jaskier continues on as optiisically as he always has. But then they come to Vizima. There's a wyvern getting too close to the city walls and they'd put out a contact for a Witcher. Geralt was happy to find somewhere he could find work and leave Jaskier at an inn where he would be warm and fed and safe.

But now that they're here, Jaskier is going on and on about wanting to perform at some feast or other held for the king's son. Geralt had shrugged it off at first because wanting to do something doesn't warrant an invitation, but Jaskier is insistent that he'll play. While Geralt goes to the inn to get settled, Jaskier goes off to talk to the king—or whoever will listen.

Geralt is reluctant to let him go, but the city is completely closed at night since the start of the attacks and guards are posted at every possible entry. Jaskier is safe here, Geralt can relax a little.

The contract is a simple one; it turns out to be a disoriented youngling that Geralt dispatches easily before hurrying back to town. He takes the head to the captain of the guard and collects his pay before returning to the inn. Jaskier is downstairs waiting for him, apparently celebrating his upcoming performance and Geralt sighs.

"You're invited, of course," Jaskier babbles as they make their way up to their room. "The king could not possibly deny my best friend—and the man who saved his kingdom from a ravenous beast!"

"It was a confused wyvern, Jaskier."

"Eh, same thing. Anyway, you will be accompanying me and we'll have to find you something to wear and—"

"I'm coming with you," Geralt says, "but I'll wear what I like."

"Gods, Geralt, can't you ever have a little enthusiasm about anything?"

"Yes, but I hardly think dressing up for a bunch of nobles is something worth being enthusiastic about."

Jaskier just rolls his eyes as Geralt pushes the door to their room open and darts in ahead of him, sitting on the bed at the far side of the room.

"Well, I'll be getting dressed up and I think you'll look quite silly showing up like that."

Geralt looks down at himself, still splattered with blood and lifts an eyebrow at him. "Well," Jaskier shrugs, "not exactly like that, but you know what I mean." He turns away and bends to pick up his lute from where it's leaning against the wall and he lets out the faintest little whine.

A human wouldn't be able to hear it, but Geralt is attuned to Jaskier at the best of times. He's striding across the room and hovering in a matter of seconds. Jaskier just sighs at him as he straightens up and places the lute case on the bed.

"I'm fine," he says, "just twisted funny is all." Geralt doesn't believe him.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asks and Jaskier rolls his eyes.

"Yes," he says firmly. " Geralt, you wouldn't even let me play for days. I am fine, I want to do this. Just… stop worrying so much." He offers up a warm smile that melts away the remainder of Geralt's protests and he grumbles to himself as he crosses back to his own side of the room, already pulling off his armour.

Geralt doesn't own anything nice to wear to a feast and he's not about to go and buy something for it, but he will clean up. He couldn't give a shit about the king or his son, but Jaskier does and he'll do it for him.

He calls for a bath and cleans the muck off himself and out of his hair, declining Jaskier's assistance. He's already going to be straining himself playing tonight, Geralt doesn't need to make it worse. So he gets clean and picks out his nicest clothes once he's dry; a spare pair of trousers that haven't been worn since the last time they were washed and a white linen shirt. He looks presentable and Jaskier doesn't complain about it, so he considers that a win.

Jaskier finishes tuning his lute and warming up and then, smiling delightedly at Geralt as he leads him away from the inn and toward the castle. Geralt watches him closely for any sign of pain, but either Jaskier is doing an excellent job of hiding it, or the wound is getting better.

Jaskier lights up when he performs, always has, but something is different about tonight. It's probably because it's been so long since he's had a captive audience but Jaskier glows under the attention of his audience. Geralt has never been one for poetry, but watching Jaskier, he can understand the need to write down, to keep a memory of beauty when you see it. There's no mistaking it now. He let himself consider it once and the gates have been opened and refuse to shut again no matter how hard he tries.

He loves him. Loves the way he smiles when he sings, the way his laugh will sometimes disturb the rhythm of the song, but he just keeps going. Geralt loves all of it and he almost lost it, almost lost Jaskier.

He looks at the people around them, how they fawn over him and he understands, he does. But they see a smiling troubadour, an entertainer. They don't see the way, as the night wears on, that Jaskier favours one side or the way he slows and limits his movements. Geralt does and something about it makes his blood boil. They don't care about Jaskier, they care about his music, about what he can do for them, and Geralt itches to get him out of there, to somewhere he can be properly cared for.

Jaskier takes a break after a couple more songs and Geralt pulls him into the corridor.

"What's wrong?" Jaskier asks, clearly recognizing the anger in Geralt's face.

"It's hurting again, isn't it?"

"It's fine," Jaskier says, but he lowers his eyes and Geralt curses.

"It's not and you're making it worse performing for these people. They don't care that you're hurt, Jaskier, they just want to listen to you."

"And I want them to," Jaskier shrugs but Geralt sees how even the slight movement causes pain. "Anyway, why do you care what they think about me? You've never cared before. You let me perform after I nearly drowned that one time in—"

Because I love you, you fucking idiot. Because I want you to be warm and safe and comfortable.

"Because I—" the words catch in his throat and he frowns. "Because you certainly don't and someone needs to look after you," he scoffs. Jaskier just smiles fondly, if not a little teasingly, up at him.

"Oh, Geralt, you do care." Geralt wants to tell him that he always has, but Jaskier doesn't give him a chance, ducking away to return to his performance with only a quick, got to go, see you tonight. Geralt measures his breath and shuts his eyes, but just as he's about to turn and head back to the inn, Jaskier appears back through the door.

"Thank you, Geralt. I'll try not to overdo it."

[vagabondreamer]

After the Fall (4)

Pairing: Lucifer x Angel! Fem! MC

Word Count: 2k

Series Summary: Angel! Fem! MC is part of an exchange program that sends her to the Devildom for a year.

Chapter Summary: MC spends some much needed time with Simeon, Luke, and Solomon.

Author’s Note: I totally headcanon that angels are touch-starved.

***

You wanted to shove his pride right down his throat. Throughout the week you had to endure his smug expression and his little comments that were meant to embarrass you, but it just made you mad. Being in the house was driving you insane. Mammon was always glued by your side trying to come up with money-making schemes, Asmo kept flirting, Satan was always asking about the history of your people - as if he didn’t have brothers more knowledgeable than you - and Beel, well, Beel was about the only person not driving you insane. You had barely seen Levi at all, so he didn’t really count at the moment.

Class had just ended, and you could already hear the boisterous Mammon waiting outside the hall for you. Needing a little break from the boys for the weekend, you looked to your angel friends.

“Hey Simeon, do you think I could spend a night or two at the Purgatory Hall?” He looked at you with concern.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just feel overwhelmed.”

“Of course she can stay over for a sleepover!” Luke was practically jumping out of his seat.

“Well, I’d love to have you over, there just really isn’t any room. Plus, you’d have to ask Lucifer for permission.”

“Why do I have to ask Lucifer?” You were getting desperate. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”

“He’s going to freak out again if you just leave without letting him know where you are.”

“Fine, whatever, I’ll ask. But, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Walking out of class, you had one mission, and that was to find Lucifer.

“Hey MC, how was class?”

“It was alright. How was yours?”

“Boring. The only thing more boring than class is Lucifer’s lectures.” You laughed at that. Anytime Mammon involved you in one of his plans, it always ended in a lecture for the both of you.

“Speaking of, have you seen Lucifer? I need to talk to him.”

“He’s probably in a meeting with Lord Diavolo.” He grabbed your hand and started walking in the direction toward the council room. You looked down at your connected hands, and a weird feeling bubbled up in your stomach. “Hey! It’s not like I wanna hold your hand! There’s just too many demons, don’t want ya to get lost.”

You rolled your eyes. He was always a little dramatic. It’s not like you had never held hands with anyone before, but you were a kid back then. Angels didn’t really hug or hold hands as adults, it was always deemed a little too inappropriate - even if it was platonic. You liked the bubbly feeling, even if it was coming from Mammon.

Mammon led you down a long hall, at the end sat a set of large doors.

“Make sure ya knock before goin’ in.” Geez, if Mammon was the one to say that, then it must be pretty serious. “Think you can get Lucifer to take ya home?” You nodded and he went on his way.

Standing in front of the large doors, you gave a hard two knocks; the sound resonated in the halls. You could hear shuffling behind the door, and it swiftly opened up, showing Barbatos.

“Can I help you, MC?”

“I need to speak to Lucifer, is he here?”

“Can it wait until after the meeting? He’s with Lord Dia -”

“MC!” Speak of the devil.

“Hi, Lord Diavolo.” His smile and energy was contagious, you couldn’t help but smile back. But in the background, you could see the familiar scowl. You knew you had to make this quick. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I just -”

“It’s alright MC, come join us, we were just talking about student affairs.” He ushered you in, leading you to a seat right next to Lucifer. You felt completely out of place, and Lucifer’s stare wasn’t helping. “Before you speak, I just want to say I am sorry about what happened. You should know that those boys have been taken care of.”

And in that instant, you were taken back to that horrible memory. Your hand reached up to feel the scars that reside permanently on your face. You knew you were being irrational, Lucifer was just doing his job and the marks on your face would’ve been questioned - but you couldn’t help but be angry. Why did he have to report it? You looked over at him, expecting to meet his gaze, but his eyes were focused on Lord Diavolo. It seemed like he didn’t expect Lord Diavolo to ever approach you about the subject - he seemed pissed off. You took a deep breath and shoved the memories back down.

“Thank you.” Is that what he wanted to hear? His concerned smile looked genuine, and his apology sincere. But why did it feel like you couldn’t tell him what you really felt? By all means, he was royalty, but he wasn’t your ruler. Maybe it was because of how Lucifer treated him. He was clearly upset with him, yet he wasn’t expressing it. You wondered how he must’ve treated Michael - it’s no wonder Michael was so fond of him. And it’s no wonder why Michael would never treat you the same - you weren’t Lucifer and you would never be.

“So, MC, what did you want to talk about?” It felt silly asking for permission for something so trivial, especially in front of the future king.

“I just wanted to spend some time with Simeon and Luke. Over the weekend?”

“Is everything okay at the House of Lamentation?”

“Of course. I just think it would be good for me to be around them, too.”

“Well, I think it’s a wonderful idea.” You looked to Lucifer, you were asking him permission.

“You heard Lord Diavolo.”

“Thanks,” you told both of them. You left the room and waited right outside the door for Lucifer to be done with his meeting.

***

Lucifer had escorted you home to pack an overnight bag, and then brought you to the Purgatory Hall. Not much was said, both of you were in a bad mood due to the meeting. You said your goodbyes, and he reminded you to text him if you needed something. Walking inside, the presence was immediately different and it reminded you of home.

“Hey guys!”

“MC! I’m so glad you could come!” Luke rushed over to you - he was covered in flour.

“What are you doing, Luke?”

“I wanted to bake for you! And, since you’re close to Michael then you can tell me if it’s good enough to give him, too!” He urged you towards the kitchen; the countertops were filled with sweets of all sorts - it would be a dream come true for Beel.

“I wouldn’t say I’m close to Michael. He kind of just orders me around.”

“Ah, you’re so lucky you’re next in line to be an Archangel!”

You just nodded, and started taste testing. It was a huge honor, and almost never happened to angels. But even then, you didn’t feel lucky. Your path was forged for you, the sole reason for your existence was to take Lucifer’s spot, and for some reason that bothered you.

“Luke, are you done now?” You could hear Simeon call out from a different room.

“Yes! You can let him out now!” You gave Luke a questioning look. “Oh, Solomon’s not allowed in the kitchen when I’m baking.”

Simeon and Solomon both walked out of the room, and sat by you at the table.

“He likes to add his own flavors,” Simeon explained further. “It’s usually not very good tasting.”

“Ya know what? I’m offended,” Solomon feigned hurt. You giggled at their interaction. It had only been a short while, and they were all getting along so well. “So, did you get tired of being around the brothers already?”

“Well -” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t tired, but they weren’t exactly all that bad either. “Each one is just...a lot. There’s a lot of big personalities.”

“Yeah being around Asmo alone is a lot, I can’t imagine being around six more,” Solomon said half jokingly.

“Six?”

“Oh, right, five.”

“Luke, these treats are divine!” Simeon changed the subject quickly. Why did it feel like talking about the seventh brother was a crime?

“Yeah, I think Michael would like these.”

“Really?!” You just nodded and smiled. After all, you did come here to try to not think about the brothers.

The rest of the night consisted of dinner and watching movies until Luke and Solomon passed out. Simeon placed blankets on top of them and called you to his room. It was spacious, and had a couch in the corner.

“You can take the bed,” Simeon said as he started to prepare the couch to be slept on.

“What? No, I’m not taking your bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“MC, it’s no big deal -”

“I don’t want to feel like a burden every time I come over.”

“You plan on coming here more often?”

“Well, only if I’m welcomed.”

“Of course you’re welcome.” You quickly laid on the couch, forcing him to go lay down on his bed. “Are you sure everything is okay?”

“Just a lot has happened in these few weeks.”

“You’re feeling new things...am I right?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“I volunteered Luke to be a part of this program - but don’t tell him, because he doesn’t know that.”

“Okay.”

“I did that because I think it’s important for young angels to see things from...a different perspective.” You nodded in agreement. “I see things differently because of the war. And because I wanted to see things differently.”

“What are you saying?” He hesitated for a moment, as if calculating his next words.

“All I’m saying is it’s not a bad thing to see the other side.”

You meditated on his words. He had known the brothers for a long time, so it made sense to have some sympathy over what happened; but why would you sympathize with all demons? How could you forgive any demon? The marks on your face was proof enough that they did bad things.

“Simeon?”

“Yeah?” He yawned.

“Do you ever feel like...like you don’t have your own life? Like, your purpose is someone else’s?”

No response. You turned your head to see Simeon fast asleep.

***

Simeon walked you back home. The walk was filled with small talk, and your stomach turned at the thought of being alone with the brothers once more. He must’ve seen the look on your face, and tried to reassure you.

“Just try to get to know them better. You should try to get to know Levi, too.”

“He’s always stuck in his room, how am I supposed to get to know him if I don’t know the secret phrase?”

“Secret phrase? Oh, yeah, I know it.” You laughed, thinking he was joking.

“Oh you’re serious? What is it?” He proceeded to tell you the password, and informed you that it was from TSL.

You gave him a hug goodbye. The shocked look on his face said it all.

“I’m sorry - I know we don’t do that - but wasn’t it nice?”

“It was, MC. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Bye, Simeon.”

You walked into the house, and headed up the stairs to your room when you saw a wild Levi out in the open. Now was your chance, you knew you had to catch him now or never.

“Levi!”

“AH!” He shrieked and beelined to his room, dropping some snacks he was carrying.

“Wait!” You made it to his door just as he was closing it, and stuck your foot out to stop him from shutting it. “I know the secret phrase!”

“Ha! There’s no way a normie like you could know it!” You then repeated what Simeon just told you moments ago. Levi stopped trying to close the door, but barely opened it up, eyeing you instead.

“I just want to get to know you.”

“Why would you want to know a yucky otaku like me?”

“Well, I’m here for a year. And I’ve already talked to the rest of your brothers.”

Levi opened the door more, allowing you to step into the shadows of his room.

“Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

After the Fall Tag List @ptv-hades

[idvlover]

HOLY CRAP ELVAN IS SO CUTE- THAT’S LITERALLY MY NEW OTP. Can you do ELVAN x reader headcanons but make it ✨domestic✨? I am a sucker for domestic and fluffy living situations...

Of course! I think they're becoming my new otp as well XD. It's really fun to write for!

ELVAN domestic Headcanons:

These men do sweet things for each other, especially for their s/o.

You can find them in the living room snuggled up on the floor together with pillows and blankets everywhere, Eli is probably the last one to fall asleep because he wants to make sure everyone is comfortable and won't wake up with a sore neck. He probably ends up spooning s/o and he just wraps an arm around them before falling asleep

Andrew loves baking for everyone, whenever someone compliments his baking he gets flustered easily. If he's hugging someone while this is happening he would bury his face in the crook of their neck. Victor had to force Luca not to scarf his food down.

Norton is kind of viewed as the very protective lover out the whole ship. He can be pretty overprotective sometimes but he means well. But if anyone in the relationship is getting bothered by someone, they go to Norton and he's got it sorted out immediately

Also, Norton has carved gems into the shape of something for each of his lovers with their favorite gem

Luca is usually pretty busy in his lab. But He does make an effort to spend time with everyone and to show that he cares. Since he's banned from the kitchen, he'll give each person a cuddle session and ask about their day. If someone walks in he'll gladly invite them over because hey! More to love!

For Victor, knowing a couple of his lovers are shorter than him, he likes to kiss the top of their head and hug them. The other's who are taller, Victor will nuzzle his face against their's and place a kiss on the bridge of their nose. For Norton, he likes to kiss his scar which makes Norton MELT

Eli, besides Victor, is one of the more softer and gentle lovers. He likes to slow dance with each of them when he gets the chance. When one of his lovers is having a bad day he'll gladly make them some snacks and lay down with them, if they need to talk about it to get it out he'll gladly listen! Eli will also do their chores for the day if they're struggling to stay motivated.

Also, everyone in ELVAN + s/o is the only one who gets to see Eli's eyes. Let's just say all of them love gazing into his eyes. He lightly teases them saying: "So how lost are you now when you look at my eyes?"

Luca would respond with, "If you weren't a seer I would've thought those eyes were fake"

S/o punched his shoulder for that. But Eli wasn't offended

If Norton isn't doing anything, but he wants to give some affection. He'll just randomly walk up behind someone and hug their waist. He'll just lean his head on their shoulder and let them continue with whatever they're doing. Whoever it is he chose leans their head against his and gives him a peck on the lips

Family domestic headcanons:

(Because I can)

Six parents. And all of them are vastly different from the other

The ones who probably brought up children are Eli and Victor. Eli spoke to Victor about it first then they both brought the subject up at dinner

If s/o is on board with the idea of having/adopting children, they'll be excited. They'll probably go to the library to look for some parenting books to help prepare them before having kids

Norton admits that he has thought about having a family a long time ago, now the feeling of wanting that has come back since he feels very safe, secure, and confident in this poly relationship

Luca and Andrew are a bit scared at the thought, but they are reassured in the end

Luca is worried about being an irresponsible parent. But he is reassured that he won't be, raising children is hard, but you have to be careless to be irresponsible. Luca can be reckless in matches, but he is never careless no matter where he goes

Andrew is mainly worried about getting judged if they plan on adopting. He doesn't want to scare the child in any way (which he won't). But if the child is biological, he's worried that if they have albinism they'll go through the same thing he went through. But he is reassured that they will protect the child no matter what and love them with all their hearts

They leave the choice up to s/o if they want to have or adopt children

But when they do have kids, they will never have a boring day go by

Sure there's down time, but there is always something silly going on (Luca)

All of them school their kids on different subjects

Luca: math and science

Norton: mineral science

Victor and Eli: writing and reading

Andrew: history?

S/o: (subject they're good at)

The kids always have someone watching them. There is 6 parents, they don't really need babysitters unless violent struggle or rank is active

All of them have a different way of being called dad. So does s/o unless they go by mom

Victor (German): Vati

Norton (Spanish): Papi

Andrew: Dad

Luca: pops

Eli: Papa

I headcanon Norton is Mexican. So their kids are learning Mexican culture and the language

Same goes for Victor except I headcanon that he's German

And Eli but Welsh

They would be an extremely interesting family, whoever the kids they have are probably gonna be every hunter's worst nightmare when they grow up

[hacawijo]

Azriel never said he was entitled to/deserved to be with Elain, those were Rhys’s words. Azriel said it didn’t make sense for two of the brothers to be with two of the sisters and not the third. Obviously it’s not the healthiest reasoning, but I think he’s reasoning in order to explain his strong feelings for Elain and to make sense of the powerlessness and envy he feels. Imagine pining after someone mostly unavailable and ultimately uninterested in you for 500 years, then finally finding someone else who makes you feel a lot of things and gets you better than maybe anyone else AND who is into you just as much as you are into them (he smells her arousal folks, Elain is super into Azriel and has been forever - literally fight me, I will give you receipts) and then to be forced to watch that person be essentially claimed, against their own preference, by someone else. Also, since when is it not absolutely certain that a fantasy romance ship is happening when someone expressly forbids it for political reasons??? That is such a classic trope!!

Azriel can’t catch a fucking break. How could you not have all of those feelings and then feel like fate screwed you when that person’s two sisters are destined for your two brothers? It’s a rationalization ADDED ON to the feelings he already has for Elain, he doesn’t have feelings for Elain because he thinks he’s entitled to her, he hopes that fate is showing him that his feelings are not in vain (AGAIN).

SJM herself said that she’s sprinkled breadcrumbs about Azriel’s story for a long time, which also makes me think Gwyn isn’t endgame because she’s such a new character. The moment between them in the bonus chapter actually reminds me a lot of Cassian’s moment with Emerie in ACOFAS. A lot of people predicted that he might be torn between her and nesta, but really it was just a way to flesh out that character outside of Nesta’s narrative. It seems more like SJM is trying to incorporate Gwyn into larger parts of the story and as more than just nesta’s friend. Perhaps what we need to glean from his interactions with Gwyn are the things Azriel values, and the personal growth he might go through, in a vocational sense, in the next book.

It makes him happy to make Gwyn happy because he ultimately cares very strongly for people who have suffered and survived and thrived. Cassian cares about what happens to the illyrians, Azriel doesn’t - the Valkyrie (to an extent) and the illyrians are Cassian’s mission, Azriel doesn’t have anything like that, yet. Azriel doesn’t like the violent things he does for the court, and that is probably part of why he feels so unfulfilled and lost. The most valuable things he has done have been the type of thing he did in saving Gwyn at Sangravah and training the priestesses with Cassian. This is all rooted, of course, in the suffering he witnessed his mother go through. All three of the illyrians are defined by the violence and wrongs done to their mothers, and two of them have found ways to make relative peace with those wrongs. Azriel has begun to and has done much to help wronged women and children and people, but I don’t think he’s had his Aha! Moment yet in the way that Rhys and Cassian have. His interaction with Clotho feels like an indication of his greater purpose, an alternative concern to his romantic woes re: Elain.

I’m not saying this means that Gwyn ISNT involved in a romantic way in the next book, but I think it’s hasty to assume it’s romantic just because Azriel has a meaningful, connected moment with her. Think about Manon and Elide or Feyre and Lucien, two friendships that bridged a lot of characters together and that could have gone in a romantic direction but didn’t. She tends to do that more with friendships than romantic relationships I think. I also think there was a clearer indication of Emerie’s interest in Mor than Gwyn’s in Azriel (I know there’s more interaction between Azriel and Gwyn, but Emerie is clearly into Mor when she says she doesn’t come around Windhaven anymore), and it seems almost as tidy to have Azriel and Mor end up with the other two Valkyries as for Azriel to end up with the third sister. Azriel, Mor, and Cassian are very nearly as much a sacred trio as the Illyrians. Also, I think it’s more likely that Mor will end up with Emerie because she hasn’t had a real romantic interest be yet revealed (the only thing I can think of is Viviane’s younger sister, but that was also superrrrrrrrrr subtle and I might have read too far into the text) and SJM pretty much never decides to start those in the course of one book (of which this extra Azriel POV chapter would be a part).

I also just want to say that Elain has been consistently uncomfortable with Lucien. He gets her the gloves for solstice, and it’s because he has a fundamental misunderstanding of her as a person. He sees her as something delicate to be sheltered and protected from thorns and elements, but that’s actually one of the things Elain loves most about gardening, and is probably how she wishes she could live her life if given the freedom and confidence. In the Feysand chapter, Feyre specifically mentions the gloves that Lucien got Elain and the consequences of Elain not wearing them. On the surface it seems silly because she hurt herself, using the gloves makes total sense, but Rhys and Feyre are actually talking about Elain as someone who is growing and who actually likes to get dirty and FEEL things. It would make COMPLETE sense for Elain to be with Lucien, he’s her mate and he’s courtly and traditional (for a high fey, anyway) and it would be very politically tidy. But maybe this new, changed Elain just doesn’t want that anymore. Maybe she thinks Azriel’s scarred hands are beautiful because they’re nothing other than what they are, and she’s not afraid of having her own scars (I.e. the thorns).

I don’t know for sure that it’s a great sign that Azriel got Elain jewelry. That could be an indication that he sees her beauty and delicacy similarly to the way Lucien does, and certainly he is protective of Elain. BUT think it could mean something different because it was juxtaposed with the pearl earrings that Lucien gave Elain. They were plain, we’ve never had any indication that Elain is interested in pearls or even regular jewelry. SJM OBVIOUSLY put much more thought into the description of the necklace and AZRIEL OBVIOUSLY put much more thought into his gift for Elain than Lucien did. He thought about Elain and what she means to him and gave her something that appears gently beautiful and informal but is even more lovely when someone PAYS CLOSER ATTENTION TO IT, as Azriel always does with everything, and especially Elain.

just can’t imagine SJM having anything that is awkward and at best uncomfortable and uncommunicative turn into an endgame relationship. Elain and lucien have no passion, neither sexual nor antagonistic nor romantic. All of her relationships tend to involve a pretty instant attraction and ongoing tension with tiny little moments sprinkled in from the get. Elain is only ever uncomfortable around Lucien. On the other hand, she is innately comfortable with Azriel pretty immediately (again ask for receipts and I will give them).

They also meet each other pre-cauldron, Lucien is literally like, “she’s my mate!” During one of the most traumatic and dissonant moments of Elain’s life. Remember how much Rhys DIDNT MAKE FEYRE’S LIFE OR TRAUMA ABOUT HIM???? He waited FOREVER to tell her about the bond, was pretty certain he could never be with her, would have been happy to never tell her and just have her be happy. Cassian was pretty sure of the bond with nesta and did not come close to mentioning it until they declared themselves together forever. Rowan and Aelin were also terrified to admit to each other that they were mates, again because they worried what it might do to negatively affect the other. But there’s Elain, fresh outta the cauldron, they all heard her screams and saw her terror and despair, and the first thing he says is “she’s MY mate.”

Also want to be clear I’m not trying to hate on Lucien. I mentioned above that Lucien is used to being pretty courtly and traditional, I think he was raised in the autumn court and has a very traditional understanding of what the mating bond means. I don’t think he is ever trying to claim Elain because he’s inherently trying to ignore her wishes or control her, but because he feels that bond and believes in the fact that it is sacred. Elain was born human, doesn’t really understand the significance of mates the way Lucien does. Of course she wouldn’t have a matching reverence. Elain is used to love and building trust and a relationship with someone over time and with patience. Which is exactly how her relationship with Az progresses.

Really think about Elain and Lucien, what about them seems compatible? He plays the game, he’s clever, his specialty is in people and he likes to have repartee with those he’s close to. Elain is pretty much always herself, she doesn’t change to suit her company, and she frankly doesn’t seem to love figuring people out. She loves being with the people she loves, but the politics of people don’t interest her - nature interests her. She’s kind in a way that Lucien would probably probably find boring in someone who isn’t his mate. In ACOSF, nesta is constantly thinking about the difference in her relationship with her mother from the relationships her mother had with her sisters. She makes it really clear that Elain never knew how to handle people in the same way as nesta or any courtier, and that she wasn’t really all that interested in intrigue or politic (which is why their mother was never interested in Elain). Elain and Lucien do not understand each other and do not understand the other’s passions or motivations. I like Lucien, I don’t love him the way that some folks do, probably because I never really got over his failure to feyre in ACOMAF, but I do want him to be happy. I think he can’t give Elain what she wants or needs and vice versa.

Lastly I want to talk about symmetry and fresh narrative. At this point, mating bonds are pretty played out. SJM has set a lot of groundwork re: the fact that mating bonds are NOT always perfect, and are NOT always happy. Rhys talks a lot about his mother and father. They were very unhappy together; they did not understand each other. It sounds like Rhys’s father was a politician and Rhys’s mother was wild and raw and genuine. This is part of the reason he waits so long to tell Feyre about the bond (and obviously he doesn’t even get to tell her, she finds out on her own). I am definitely not trying to say that Lucien is like Rhys’s father, he’s not, he’s a much better person, but I do think that the differences in Rhys’s parents’ values and passions mirror the dissonance that can be felt between Lucien and Elain as well. I think all of the wind was taken out of the relationship before it started because Lucien named Elain as his mate so quickly- it was really unearned. It is so EARNED in Feyre and Rhys’s story and Aelin and Rowan’s.

I think the idea of choosing love over nature is actually extraordinary. Elain, who has never really had a choice in her whole life, will make the most subversive and difficult choice of the series by rejecting her mating bond. And Azriel, who has never believed himself worthy of good things, will be chosen over a mating bond because he is so extraordinarily deserving of happiness and love and to be truly chosen as someone else’s paramour even beyond the influence of a mating bond. Is there any greater narrative validation of Azriel than that???? SJM writes grand, dramatic cosmic payback for her characters, and this would be a crowning achievement in that vein.

As for Lucien, what he has needed is a way out of the lines he’s always been expected to live in. He was never at home in the autumn court, he was never truly at home in the spring court, and despite Elain, he is definitely never at home in the night court. Lucien’s love, the thing that made him more happy than anything else in his life, was inherently unconventional, and then the convention he lived in destroyed it. Letting go of Elain and the mating bond will be the best way for him to reject the rules that have confined him for his entire, mostly miserable life. Elain will choose Azriel, and Lucien will choose to let her go, not just for Elain but also for himself. I’m willing to bet he might even give up his immortal life to be with Vassa and Jurian. Obviously that whole trio’s dynamic is still pretty murky, but I THINK he seems to be into Vassa (hell who knows - maybe he’s into jurian). Certainly he is happier with them than he has ever been anywhere else (tamlin was Lucien’s dear friend, but Lucien was also fucking terrified of him), and maybe it’s not and will never be about romantic fulfillment for him. That being said, that seems unlikely given SJM’s tendency to pair off her characters.

As for people being mad about the sex stuff...... have we not been reading the same books? Cassian and Rhys have both made it clear to Feyre that Az can get it, he hasn’t been chastely pining for Mor his whole life. Nesta also specifically confirms in this newest installment that Elain is not a virgin, hello bread crumb set up. Elain and Azriel are both sexually active adults who are sexually attracted to each other. Why should they not be able to have agency over their own sexuality in the same way as all of the other characters? Because they’re shy? Because they seem nicer and gentler?

I think it’s actually really infantilizing to make Elain a victim/inactive participant in her solstice interaction with Azriel. Sure, narrators aren’t always reliable, but SJM always uses the fey scent as a story device to confirm sexual interest and initial/general consent for the reader without suspicion or misinterpretation. I. E. Nesta and cassian both had really warped understandings of how the other felt about them for a lot of ACOSF, but they always came back to knowing for certain that they were sexually attracted to each other. That is something that SJM makes pretty freakin clear in most situations. I don’t think that Azriel thought anything that was darker or dirtier than anything Rhys or cassian has thought about feyre and nesta. In fact it was definitely less kinky than how cassian and nesta often thought of each other sexually before they really got together.

Also, a lot of elain’s reactions to Lucien in ACOWAR remind me of mor’s reactions to Azriel throughout the series. You could tell she was feeling some type of way, but in reality it was guilt and sorrow that she couldn’t return his feelings, not that she was tortured by her love for him. I feel like when Lucien goes to the continent and Elain displays emotion about it it’s more about the fact that she feels bad she doesn’t feel more for him even though she does feel the bond. I’m sure it was really confusing for her. Elain’s reactions to Azriel, though, remind me more of the little snippets of interaction between Aedion and Lysandra before they had more POV in the ToG series and also those between cassian and nesta in ACOMAF and ACOWAR before THEY had POV chapters.

Wow so yeah here’s my dissertation. I hope someone out there reads this and is like YES THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY, because I love when I find posts like that.

[shima-draws]

maam you cant just say that you have a FAKE DATING AU and not tell us abt it spill

UWU

So I never thought I’d write anything Amourshipping in my entire life because I’m sure most of you know exactly how I feel about them but that’s what I’m doing for this LMAO

Anyway it takes place a couple years after the end of SM, Ash is around 18-19 and has made a big name for himself competing in tournaments and Pokemon Leagues. Gladion and Lillie are back in Alola with Mohn, and Gladion does research on Ultra Beasts with him while maintaining a position at the Battle Tree and competing in the Alola League every year. Serena is the current reigning Kalos Queen and spends her time doing showcases and performing for large audiences.

The AU starts when Serena calls up Ash and asks him if he’s willing to fake date her. For the sake of publicity and also because her manager is getting on her ass about dating some guy who’s a professional in PR videos (also for publicity and to promote her image)—this guy has also taken an interest in Serena and doesn’t know what the word no means, so the whole thing has made her super uncomfortable. Serena figures since Ash is her friend, she knows him well enough to be comfy with fake dating him and because Ash has a great reputation that won’t scar her public image (not that she cares much about that anyway!) it would be the best thing to do to get her manager and the PR asshole off her back.

Note that at this point Serena is well over Ash lol and tells him as such—basically water under the bridge now, especially because Serena has a crush on Shauna instead (but was too afraid to ask her to fake date because she didn’t want to mess things up with a potential romantic relationship—with Ash it’s a no strings attached sort of deal). It’ll probably be a little awkward but out of all the people who could do it Ash is clearly the best option.

Ash is very hesitant about it since he’s not really a fan of lying to people, but eventually relents because Serena really needs help. They agree to go through with it long enough for the opposing parties to back off, and decide they’ll have a fake breakup once Serena feels safe enough to be single again. Obviously this is a terrible idea but both of them are idiots and didn’t think things through LMAO

The only real issue is that Ash is scheduled to stay in Alola for a few weeks, part of a routine he does yearly where he rotates around all the regions he’s visited to catch up with old friends and get some training in. Serena’s like oh no problem I’ll just come to Alola with you and we can show off there! Do some hand holding and cheek smooches in front of the cameras and we’ll be golden. So Ash flies out to Kalos first so he and Serena can break the news of their “relationship” to the public.

Back in Alola, Lillie and Mallow end up breaking the news to Gladion, who subsequently has a meltdown (tho he will deny that he did) and gets really depressed and hurt by the situation, because lately he and Ash have been growing closer and he actually planned on confessing his feelings when Ash came to visit. Welp. Clearly that’s not going to happen now, and as soon as Ash and Serena arrive Gladion literally BOLTS because he’s gay panicking and can’t bear the thought of seeing Ash with somebody else.

Lillie keeps making excuses as to why Gladion’s avoiding Ash, Ash and Serena continue to parade around in front of the cameras and do silly shit that makes the paparazzi go nuts, Gladion falls further into despair and Lillie gets fed up with his angsty emo bullshit fnnsndnsn

Eventually the rest of the Alola crew start to catch on that hey maybe this is...not real? A publicity stunt? They have no idea why Ash or Serena would stoop to doing something like that but they try to convince Gladion that hey maybe you’ve still got a shot. This could all just be a huge ruse and they’re not actually into each other. With enough goading Gladion is eventually convinced to go hash things out with Ash and figure out what the hell is going on, but he witnesses them kissing alone in the woods and realizes that no, it’s genuine, and he’s an idiot for hoping otherwise. Ofc Gladion’s a dumbass and didn’t realize that Ash and Serena were being tailed, so they kissed to put on a show.

Gladion eventually puts his foot down and says you know what I can’t do this anymore I’m leaving. And Lillie’s like. What? You’re just running away from your feelings? And Gladion’s like that’s exactly what I’m doing—I mean no I want to travel and visit all the other regions and. Do research. See if the Ultra Beasts were ever involved anywhere outside of Alola. And Lillie’s like that’s a great excuse but you’re just being a coward about it and Gladion’s like well there’s nothing you can do about it ;) and generally acts like a stubborn jackass LMAO

Then Lillie is the one to put her foot down and decides if Gladion’s too chicken to confess his feelings she’ll fucking do it for him! God she has to do everything for this family jfc. She corners Ash and demands the truth, who easily lets up about the fake dating thing, and Lillie tells him Ash Ketchum if you don’t get your ass down to the marina right now you’ll probably never see Gladion again. So leave right now. Kiss him. And tell him you’ve been in love with him since you battled him on the beach all those years ago.

AND ASH DOES EXACTLY THAT and he and Serena “break up” and he gets together with Gladion and she gets with Shauna and it’s a happy ending for everyone THE END

[toxicpineapple]

been checking out some of your amamota content lately and i am absolutely in love,, if your requests are still open, i'd really love to see some amamota beach date hcs?

well, writing requests are closed, but headcanon requests are always open!!! here’s some that i have just off the top of my head, putting below the cut because it might get kind of long.

- my buddy @mxjimcloud has a headcanon that rantaro really loves the ocean and because i am a goblin i have stolen it! so the beach is a place with a lot of really happy memories for rantaro, that reminds him of when his sisters were still around, and he feels really at home in the ocean. - accordingly i think that kaito would get to see him smiling in a way he never really has before? looking really carefree and just generally happier than he does most of the time. lots of gay emotion that comes with that, kaito is a tender, tender gay man. i also really love those scenes where one character sees the other character happy and is filled with affection about it. bless. - kaito loves the ocean too! it used to be his hyperfixation before he got into space. i think he does really like to swim but i imagine him being more into tidepooling, and looking at all the creatures in the sand on the beach? when the tides are low kaito drags rantaro down and they pick their way through the eelgrass and kaito infodumps about all the creatures and ecosystems down there. and of course rantaro listens because i think he’s always very excited to hear kaito talking about things that make them happy. - scar reveal babey!!! if they’re going on a date to the beach kaito has probably already seen rantaro shirtless but still, rantaro has a LOT of scars and taking off his shirt would really show them off to god and everyone, huh. if it’s a double date i like to imagine kaito giving anyone whose eyebrows raise a dirty look like “i DARE you to comment on it” FKLJDSFLKJDSFkl even though rantaro wouldn’t really mind that much. weak for overprotective kaito. - they’re very silly so i can imagine them getting into splash fights in the water!!! and swimming around together and just enjoying themselves. i think kaito would call rantaro a seal or something with how well he swims and rantaro would just smile about it. they’re dorks. they’re goons. they deserve some happy moments. - i’m sure they’d spend a lot of time just on the beach too, sitting on their towel and soaking up the sun? ofc they’d both help each other apply sunscreen because kaito is the mom friend and rantaro is the older brother friend so they’re both adamant about taking care of one another... which is good because kaito has so much hubris he would probably just go without it. - hehe. beach cuddles. after swimming and running around a lot kaito gets sneeby and flops over in rantaro’s lap, and rantaro strokes his hair (Gel Free For Once) and eventually he falls asleep because of the warmth and the stimulation, and rantaro considers following suit but eventually decides to stay awake, taking in the beach, the water, the rise and fall of his boyfriend’s chest. it’s been a really long time since he’s felt truly at peace like this, especially by the ocean. as much as he adores it, he carries so much baggage around the ocean, and sometimes he feels almost selfish, indulging in the things he loves, daring to be happy when his sisters are still out there lost. - but kaito makes it so much easier for him to just relax and enjoy the things that he loves, and there’s almost nobody else (barring sisters of course) rantaro would rather be here with. he’s never felt this way about another person before and he doesn’t want to, not about anyone else. kaito is special. - another jim hc is that rantaro cries when he thinks too much about how much he loves someone so the guy would probably start bawling FKLJSLKFJ and eventually kaito would wake up and squint at him before realising what’s happening and pulling him down into a kiss. you know that spiderman/mary jane kiss from tobey maguire’s spiderman? yeah. like that. they’re cute. and gay. - also if an ice cream truck comes kaito would be SO excited and rantaro would just be grinning with endearment while he goes over to treat kaito... hehe.

as expected it got a little prose-y in the middle there but it’s not my fault for being gay. thanks for the ask anon!!! feel free to request headcanons any time

[justapoet]

you drew stars around my scars

He watched his image become cloudy as tears invaded his eyes as they so commonly did back in the city and on not really good days now. It was eerie because it had been weeks since that feeling had suddenly hit his chest, but it was still familiar. Strangely and cruelly familiar.

His pale orbs still insistently tracked each scar distributed along his arms, thighs, and hips. TK was aware of every trait he had never really noticed and felt disgusted about all of it ― even more to think that not all of those scars could be blamed on Alex or anyone but the man staring back at him in the mirror.

Or,

TK has scars of which he is ashamed of ― mainly because not all of them could be blamed on someone other than the one inside his head.

3.0k

Read on Ao3

Implied/referenced self-harm.

Some days fall apart before anything could actually happen. It wasn't something that had never happened before, but it had been a while since it last occurred in TK's brand new routine of his, now, not-so-brand-new life in Texas. And it had been good, really, to live without remembering how everything could fall apart between a second and the other.

Back in New York, he would be marveled if a week had gone without one of those days. TK would fear every single step he took because everything had been too quiet and less chaotic than usual for anything to be correct, and he would only sit and wait until the next bomb came over his head and messed up his heart and soul all over again.

He would get used to it in the end. Whether it was a reprimand at work for something reckless he had done ― to save someone, he had to point out ―, or to Alex appearing at his apartment just because he was stressed out and needed to relax ― the man would go away without a word after having sex with TK, who would convince himself that his boyfriend was only stressed because of his own job.

He eventually got used to the pain, and being without it was almost alarming for his brain and muscles to process. TK didn't care, though, just because he had convinced himself, somehow, that it was it ― that was life, and he would have to learn how to live with that heart-wrecking feeling as long as... Well, as long as his heart was beating.

When he first got to Texas, his mind was beyond made-up with that same conception. At the floor of his apartment in Brooklyn, the pain had gone away ― and then, when he woke up after his not-so-long death sleep, it came rushing through his veins all over again.

TK wasn't expecting to be proved wrong just a while after he had changed his address and phone number.

It wasn't something he had realized at first, but it knocked at his door one day at the station when Paul and Mateo were at the gym with him, and his heart didn't stop as they were talking about dating, and he brought the New York incident up. It still hurt since there was nothing he could really do about it, but it didn't kill him.

And he suddenly wished it never did.

After that, he started to fear the light-feather weight taking place over the bricks and stones in his chest, and TK was getting quite familiar with some silly smiles that would take over his lips every now and then. It wasn't too weird now to hang out with the team and come back home without hearing how reckless, stupid, and a whore he was for hours and hours, and even less to be anxious to check his phone at every new message, because most of them were sweet and caring.

He didn't even realize when he had fallen for Carlos, and that was even scarier than head-jumping into a river on a dark winter night.

Abruptly, it wasn't hard to let careful hands wander around his body because powerful and safe arms would be wrapped around him in the morning. Suddenly, it wasn't scary to hang out in a bar because at least two of his friends ― and his boyfriend ― would choose to follow his lead and not drink alcohol at all. Quickly, it wasn't terrifying to wake up at the hospital because a warm hand would always be clutched at his over the mattress.

It was difficult, sometimes, to believe it was real, and TK would get afraid of waking up alone in a hospital room or in his cold, old apartment in New York. These days, he would treat everything and everyone like they were fairytales, always quietly and ghosty as fairy dust, and they would understand.

Which was also a weird thing.

But they would make sure to hug him tightly and make him laugh until his stomach was aching, and Carlos would kiss him fiercely and carefully when he came home to his house at the end of a shift.

TK didn't realize when the only days that would surprise him were the bad ones. Especially those without a real reason.

And a Friday night everyone at the 126 was free to hang out had been one of those days.

TK stared at his reflection in the mirror once again, after a long while doing it after locking himself up in the bathroom of his and Carlos' room. He should have learned after what happened a few months ago when Carlos found him hiding in the bathtub after an unexplainable nightmare ― he knows he should. But still, his eyes were fixed on the reflective glass.

He watched his image become cloudy as tears invaded his eyes as they so commonly did back in the city and on not really good days now. It was eerie because it had been weeks since that feeling had suddenly hit his chest, but it was still familiar. Strangely and cruelly familiar.

His pale orbs still insistently tracked each scar distributed along his arms, thighs, and hips. TK was aware of every trait he had never really noticed and felt disgusted about all of it ― even more to think that not all of those scars could be blamed on Alex or anyone but the man staring back at him in the mirror.

There was nothing for him to feel but disgust towards him. TK felt sickened with himself, with every scar and how weak he was for having them marking and staining his skin.

He ran his fingers over a clearly visible scar on his hip. TK sharply remembered what he had done to get it and how much that bruise had stung for days. He had done that, perhaps, in a lapse of insanity when he saw that someone else might notice the marks on his arms. His trunk, at least, was always covered by the uniform and hidden by the lights Alex always turned off before they got to bed together.

No one could or had ever seen them ― no one but TK.

"TK?" A familiar voice called him through the bathroom door. In the distance, he could judge that Carlos was at the bedroom door, probably hoping that the paramedic was already dressed and ready to meet him and the team downstairs.

TK hadn't even been able to take a shower.

"TK?" The voice called again with a brief knock on the closed bathroom door, this time accompanying the low and soft timbre. "TK, babe?" There was a line of worry in his tone, and TK cursed for it. Lock yourself in the bathroom after almost quicking your boyfriend out of the bedroom and acting weird for an hour before that; it certainly wasn't the best idea anyone could have. Mainly when the said boyfriend was, too, a first responder.

TK closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing even while he bit down hard on the inside of one of his cheeks. He attempted to control the tears, but they were always wirier than he was, glowing down his cheeks ― noticeably thinner than usual for a paramedic who spent so long at the gym ― and took a few deep breaths so that he could answer Carlos without his voice giving way completely.

"Go away, Carlos," he asked but failed to try to make a sob sound subtly. Still, he answered because he didn't want the cop to see him the way he was inside of the bathroom, even if they've seen each other naked a couple of dozens of times before. He could never endure the look of pure disgust and repugnance over himself if he came directly from those warm brown eyes.

A low click and suddenly TK knew that Carlos had opened the bathroom door ― TK cursed himself in every language he could think of for not locking it before, too stuck in his awaken nightmare, but there was no strength, much less of will, enough in him to do something about it. So he just grabbed himself, the dry skin he no longer cared for, and the thin bones that were the only thing that really supported him in that world, letting Carlos see what TK was, what TK had become, and decide for himself that he wanted to leave.

TK wasn't going to dismiss Carlos, this time, because he was sure the man would soon be gone.

Read the rest on Ao3

[babbushka]

I’d love to request play wrestling with some of your November prompts, crisp air, cuddling, fireplace, for Knight Kylo, please. If you’re feeling it. No big deal if not, I’m out of ideas today lol. Hope you’re having a nice weekend!

Anonymous said: From the kissing prompts: Under the stars Or By a campfire And Power or Lust For knight Kylo please :)

(1k ; fluffy smut lol [NSFW: being naked outside, sloppy makeouts, handjobs, fingering, come as lube, post-sex smut])

You’re lying side by side, facing one another just on the edge of the wood. Your clothing is discarded in a heap near the campfire, the both of you stripped down to nothing, naked out there under the stars. It’s chilly, the crisp autumn night settling in around you, but your bodies are warm, overheated.

Kylo’s just made you come so hard that he’s sure the heavens have heard it, and when he looks up at the twinkling lights far far away, he’s sure they’re winking at him, commending him for a fantastical performance.

“This was a good idea,” You murmur as you tuck yourself against his broad chest, “One last trip like this before the frost begins.”

He had fucked you silly, fucked you for so long that he had no idea how late it truly was. The bells were too far away to hear over the sound of the insects which call the nighttime their home, loud chirps and calls that have soothed Kylo to sleep since the first day he arrived back in this land. You are almost asleep yourself, soothed and exhausted from pleasure.

“Thank you for agreeing, you are so beautiful by the bonfire.” Kylo trails a scarred and calloused hand up and down your bare back, watches as the fire casts you in the flickering flare of its glow. He has settled you closest to it, for you are fair and lovely, and he would not allow you to be cold.

You sling a leg over his hip and tuck your hands between your bodies, so that your fingers can stay warm even as autumn nips at them. Kissing his jaw, you hum and smile, eyes closed, reveling in the bliss of your orgasm.

“We have a hearth in our chambers, do we not?” You tease, and Kylo breathes a laugh through his nose.

“Yes, but out here I can take you under the enormity of the universe, and that is something that I will never tire of.” He replies, to which you concede.

“Spring will come soon enough my beloved.” You kiss his jaw again, his throat, tongue hot and thick against his pulse where you lick up the beads of sweat which have rolled there from his vigorous thrusting, “And you may take me wherever you should please.”

Kylo dips his head down and kisses you, really kisses you. He cups your cheeks and holds your face in place, tilting it just so that his nose doesn’t get in the way as your mouth opens for him. He drools and you swallow it down, tongues working together and sighing into each other’s mouths, the slick wet noises of your lips smacking together coupled only with the soft grunts and groans you both let out.

It is with those grunts that you realize Kylo is hard again. His cock is proud and large as it curves up against his stomach, sandwiched between your bodies. You grin and bite his lips, lashes tickling his cheek as you don’t even need to open your eyes to wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze.

“You have not yet had enough of me?” You tease, knowing exactly what his answer will be.

“I don’t think I shall ever have enough.” Kylo groans when you swipe some fingers through your own folds to slick up your hand, using your shared come to lubricate his cock as he groans out, “(Y/N).”

“Touch me, feel how wet you make me, how wet you leave me.” Your voice is shaky from the thought of more pleasure, how badly you want it, how you want him.

You are both too tired to fuck again, not after the sex you just had, but there is time and energy enough for this, and you will both take advantage of that.

Kylo keeps one hand on your cheek, the other finding its way to your pussy. You’re hot and throbbing, sore from the fucking he gave you in the best way, the most delicious way. Kylo leans in to kiss you again, to swallow your gasp as he plunges three fingers inside your cunt easily.

Your grip on his cock falters for just a moment from the sensation of friction rubbing through your cunt once more, but you quickly recover. He’s so big, especially in your hand he feels enormous, and you’re filled with a sense of pride at being able to take him so well, being able to pleasure him and be pleasured in return. A dick that big was no easy feat, and you have claimed victory over it more times than you can count.

He groans softly, and you let out little whines and gasps against his lips as you open mouth kiss one another, wet and sloppy. Too much tongue, too much teeth, it’s perfect, absolutely perfect as you stroke him off and he thrusts up into you.

His thumb curls over your clit, and that’s enough to bring the hot wash of orgasm over you once again, for the third time this evening, and you suspect, the last. Kylo comes at the same time, probably having planned it that way, and his come splatters across your bellies in a primal way that only fucking outside can bring.

Sighing happily, he pulls his hand away from you and shuffles down your body to settle at your chest, mouthing at your breasts and sucking at them. You hold him close, licking the come off your fingers where it smeared there, and hum happily, languid and in bliss.

“I could kiss you like that forever.” Kylo sighs, nuzzling in and settling in for the night. He rests his head against your heartbeat, the fire softly crackling behind you, bathing you both in a glow that you feel inside and out.

“I’ll be counting on that.” You let your eyes close, those stars dancing behind your eyelids until they drift up up up and away, floating into the sky, twinkling down at you as you and your lover fall into a deep slumber out on the edge of the wood.

[vivithefolle]

Not sure if you already talked about this. (I’m pretty sure you have) but someone seemed to notice that when the trio get into fights, Hermione’s always in the right. Even when she’s supposed to be wrong she always seems to be half right. That kind of bothers me. Especially since it’s evident in the whole Scabbers situation.

I have indeed, on Quora, so let’s move yet another answer of mine to Tumblr!

Hermione is seldom wrong in the Harry Potter books. Sometimes she makes mistakes but those mistakes are either completely swept under the rug or downright ignored.

It’s partly due to lazy writing and partly due to Rowling’s own growing bias in favour of her Author Avatar that was fuelled by Steve Kloves, the primary advocate of the Hermione Granger Is The Perfect Girl Ever line of thinking (an utterly ridiculous line of thinking mind you).

Lizo: Steve, Hermione is a character that you have said is one of your favorites. Has that made her easier to write?

Steve: Yeah, I mean, I like writing all three, but I've always loved writing Hermione. Because, I just, one, she's a tremendous character for a lot of reasons for a writer, which also is she can carry exposition in a wonderful way because you just assume she read it in a book. If I need to tell the audience something...

JKR: Absolutely right, I find that all the time in the book, if you need to tell your readers something just put it in her. There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue. One is Hermione, the other is Dumbledore. In both cases you accept, it's plausible that they have, well Dumbledore knows pretty much everything anyway, but that Hermione has read it somewhere. So, she's handy.

Now this, right here, is the exact core of the problem.

Rowling herself admits it: if she wants the readers to have information, she puts Hermione in the scene. Hermione is our primary means of exposition because, like *grits teeth* Sssssteve puts it, it’s easy to assume that she’s read about it somewhere and it makes sense.

That’s all well and good but at first, if you notice, Ron also gave us exposition about the wizarding world, mostly about its culture. He was able to recall the exact year of the Wizarding Confederation that outlawed dragon breeding in Philosopher’s Stone! He explained what were respectively a “Mudblood”, a “Squib”, and Parseltongue, Hermione doing a little exposition about the history of that last one! He was also able to identify Sirius, after being dragged into the Whomping Willow, as an Animagi!

But then Goblet of Fire happens and you can notice the first change that will exponentially grow through the books: instead of Ron, pureblood Ron, born-before-the-end-of-the-war Ron, lived-through-the-aftermath-of-the-war Ron, identifying the Dark Mark, it’s instead Hermione, muggleborn Hermione, lived-as-a-Muggle-for-most-of-her-life Hermione, has-no-idea-about-the-emotional-impact-of-the-Mark Hermione who looks terrified as the Dark Mark shoots into the sky!

And it only will get worse, by the end of the series, Hermione pretty much knows about everything the plot needs her to know, instead of having to work with things she knows but can’t always apply to the situation:

Suddenly has a deep knowledge of Magical Law (in the will of Dumbledore’s chapter, while we had Rufus Scrimgeour who could have provided it to us, or to a lesser extent, Ron could have explained how a wizarding will basically worked)

Is suddenly an expert at finding edible plants and mushrooms. Apparently books are always the goddamn answer in JKR’s world, you can literally learn anything from them

She can decipher all the Tales of Beedle the Bard (may I remind you that they were written in Runes, okay Hermione may have a few years of Ancient Runes education BUT I once tried to translate a 3k+ story I had written for fun, from French to English, which means I knew what the subtleties and intentions were, I knew which turns of phrase I had to preserve so it would make sense in the end, and it still took me two gruelling weeks to get a satisfying result!)

Has suddenly grown a sense of quick-thinking (escaping Xenophilius’ house, using the jinx to make Harry’s face weird-looking) despite it being the only remaining flaw she had at the time (remember when she turned her back on her enemy while he was still conscious just to compliment Harry, and almost died as a result, even though she had been training in the DA to learn how to fight Death Eaters?) Quick-thinking under pressure can be learned, but it takes time and a lot of work to force your brain to override its instinct - and it’s fine because we’re all human and different. But no suddenly Hermione is the Greatest Strategist Evah™ and those silly boys (who actually were the original quick-thinking ones, and one of them was established as the strategist early on) better be grateful for this literal goddess because she protects them from all harm with her superhuman brain.

Somehow knows about Quidditch stuff - she knows about a Snitch’s “memory-touch”. Why should she give all the answers? Why can’t Ron give us this particular tidbit of information?

And then when we come to something Ron actually knows, the damn narration itself goes “woah a book that Ron has read but Hermione hasn’t??? shocking!! incredible!! Ron is not dumb, somebody call the news channel”. But… is that really so surprising? We’ve never seen Hermione read wizarding fiction or even Muggle fiction. We’ve never seen Hermione with anything other than schoolbooks in her hands. Of course Ron has read books she hasn’t read since she doesn’t seem to read fiction at all!

Sorry, bit of a tangent over here.

There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue.

So, that’s one part of the problem: the fact that Rowling, after making Ron our insight into magical culture and Hermione our provider of knowledge, ended up saying “eh whatever I guess Hermione can tell us everything we gotta know because it’s more convenient for me”. Which is a decision that was not based on Hermione’s character, but simply lazy writing. Long story short, it probably went: “Could Ron explain this bit of trivia? Meh, better make Hermione say it cause she’ll have read it in a book. It’s convenient and I won’t need to bother myself with exploring Ron’s characterisation.”

(And thus completely forgetting that Ron could maybe ask his big brothers via owl and provide us with a good heap of extra advanced knowledge - Bill is supposed to have aced his NEWTs after all.)

The other part of the problem is quite simply that Hermione is more often than not, either painted as a victim by the narrative (which makes more people take her side, classic manipulation tactic), or made to be right anytime it’s about a plot point.

Hermione’s mistakes are never explicitly stated, corrected, or even pointed out as being unethical.

Hermione only gets one mistake expressedly pointed out as being a mistake: her misadventure in Polyjuice Potion. The rest of them? Even her crush on Lockhart can’t be counted as a mistake - people get crushes all the time, based solely on physical appearance, it’s not something awful or terrible (Except when it’s Ron who crushes on someone. Ron crushing on someone is absolutely forbidden, and he must be punished with much ridicule and humiliation if he thinks he can get away with not worshipping Hermione like the goddess she is. The nerve of him, really.).

Throughout the books Hermione eventually morphs into Rowling’s Powerful Angel of Vengeance, that punishes the people who dared to do something she disliked - Rita is silenced but at a very ethically dubious price; Marietta gets scarred for life because she was more loyal to her mother than to a bunch of people her friend insisted she hang out with; Umbridge is led to a very, very alarming fate that is never made clear but some people have ideas and they’re not all very kid-friendly; Ron first is “helped” without knowing it because Hermione can’t be bothered to have faith in his capabilities, then when he fails to dutifully reward her for “helping” him, she causes him bodily harm before actively bullying him for not mind-reading her interest in him; causes even more bodily harm to Ron because that’s how feminism works; etc.

Hermione’s mistakes are always justified through the plot itself (which is lazy writing).

Turning into a cat? Only affects her.

The Firebolt? Scabbers? Well, in the end, it was really sent by Sirius Black and Crookshanks really wasn’t the culprit. Therefore all the feelings that were hurt and all the trust lost are irrelevant because Hermione was right all along.

Trying to free the house-elves? Well, it’s the intent that counts, right? And we’re never told enough about house-elf lore to know whether they’re poor brainwashed victims or powerful Penate-like symbiotes who need to serve a wizard to survive?

Kidnapping Rita Skeeter, trapping her and blackmailing her? Rita may be one foul little beetle, but that’s going a bit far, isn’t it? Harry approves? Oh, well, I guess it’s okay then…? A main character can’t have a dubious morality, right?

Manipulating Harry into forming Dumbledore’s Army and forcing him to relive a traumatic event with the same woman she’s kidnapped and blackmail and that she knows he hates? In the end, it all works out for the best and Harry’s hurt feelings don’t matter since it’s all about the greater good.

Using the centaurs to get rid of Umbridge (which poses the highly distressing question of what did the centaurs do to her?), realizing that the centaurs aren’t nice little horsies that are going to gently obey her every orders like good Disney princess’ companions, my goodness could this be an opportunity for character growth - nevermind, here comes Grawp the Giant Ex Machina, saving her arse and protecting Hermione from all that scary possibility of introspection. Thanks, Grawp Ex Machina.

Trying to dissuade a highly stressed-out and irrational Harry from rescuing Sirius by telling him exactly what he needed not to hear, a.k.a. “you have a saving people-thing” which causes Harry to completely go bonkers and go save his godfather without thinking twice? Well she was right after all, it was a trap! Nevermind how mind-boggingly insenstive and inadept at dealing with someone else’s feelings she was being, she was right! That means it wasn’t Hermione’s mistake!… probably. (Geez, I’m sensing a pattern here…)

Endangering Cormac’s life (Confunding him WHILE HE’S ON HIS BROOM) to promote Ron’s success? Oh but that’s so romantic! (Yeaaaah, how romantic to display exactly how much faith you lack in your crush. Top it off with a broken neck and that’s a picture perfect first date!)

Assaulting Ron with magic and causing him even more scars than he already had? But he was being cold with her first, right? And he totally should have known she was asking him out! It’s not like her invitation was even worse than his attempt to ask her out two years earlier! Plus she’s just a teenage girl expressing her emotions, anyone who tries to find fault in this is a disgusting abusive misogynist pig! Ha!

Getting all jealous that Harry is better than her at Potions, then pretending she’s not jealous by claiming that TEH BOOK IS EVIL, HARRY, and giving him the cold shoulder too? But no, she’s right, look, Harry used Sectumsempra and he almost killed Draco, nevermind that he’s very horrified about it! Hermione was right, like she always is!

Hermione Obliviating her parents, which pulls her from the “ethically dubious” zone into the “wow okay I’m pretty sure that this counts as a violation of basic human rights” zone, makes her one of those quirky wizardfolk who have the privilege to control those simple-minded Muggles because it’s for the greater good? But nooo she’s crying about it so it’s obviously very sad and angsty and it shows her devotion to the cause!

Splinching Ron while fleeing from the Ministry? Eeeh, but he’s fine, they’ve got Dittany, he’s good as new!… blood loss? Anaemia? What’s that?

Hermione was wrong about the Deathly Hallows not existing? Um, um, that doesn’t matter, LOOK DOBBY IS DEAD AND HARRY IS BACK TO LOOKING FOR THE HORCRUXES!! Therefore Hermione was right, the Hallows weren’t important for their quest, therefore the Hallows might as well not exist, HERMIONE WAS RIGHT NO REALLY I’VE GOT RECEIPTS -

The books never forget to remind Harry and Ron of their own shortcomings and moments of weakness.

Harry’s wrath and recklessness cost Sirius his life. This is the lesson he has to learn from his entitled behaviour in OotP: actions have consequences, and the greater your responsibility, the greater the cost will be.

Ron’s envy and insecurity lead him astray; they’re used to humiliate, ridicule and torture him throughout the books. They’re supposed to teach him that he’s worth something - but how is he supposed to believe that, when nobody ever tells him he’s worth anything? When nobody ever apologizes to him? When his feelings are taken for granted over and over? When his two friends seem to discard him whenever he does one thing wrong?

Hermione is never punished. Hermione is never said to be wrong, never shown to be wrong, never called out on her behaviour. From Prisoner of Azkaban to mid-Deathly Hallows, she stays exactly the same character. She doesn’t grow up. She doesn’t learn. She doesn’t change. She has virtually no character arc.

The only time, THE ONLY TIME IN SEVEN BOOKS, the only time we have something remotely resembling a call-out of Hermione’s horrible behaviour is with this sole quote in HBP:

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

Note how it’s about “girls” and not Hermione in particular, which implies that any girl would do what Hermione does to Ron. Thanks for the generalization, JKR, but I like to believe I’m actually a decent sort of person that doesn’t resort to petty cruelty and exploits my friends’ insecurities whenever I’m angry with them.

Hermione NEVER has to apologize. Hermione NEVER has to learn from her mistakes because she’s always presented as a victim when she really isn’t. Hermione NEVER develops into something more - she’s emotionally stuck at fourteen years old. Even less than that when you consider that her reaction to Ron’s return in Deathly Hallows is to trash him with her fists - and she was going to get her wand!! The utter psychopathic b- wanted TO THROW BIRDS AT HIM AGAIN!!! - and this reaction is an appropriate one for a four-years old girl, but certainly not for a supposedly “mature” seventeen-years old.

(Yes, because what separates a child from an adult is the ability to reign in your emotions and not succumb to your impulses. Exactly what Ron did when he left the tent (notice that he had drawn his wand, then he left before he could start hexing Harry), he left to calm himself down. Exactly what Hermione fails to do when Ron returns (she has the impulse to strike him and immediately succumbs to it, which proves to us that The Brightest Witch Of Her Age has all the maturity of a very small child).)

All of that, on top of the awful portrayal in the movies which removes all of Ron’s characteristics to stuff them into Hermione and turns her into some impossible epitome of perfection, eventually contributed to the portrayal of Hermione as the one who is always right and knows everything.

Add to it JKR’s own ridiculous bias (“Ron was quite emotionally immature compared to the other two”, yeah right I don’t see him trying to force freedom onto unwilling creatures or making Harry fly into an irrational rage with mere words but you do you, Jo) and the sexist misconception that “girls are innately more mature than boys”, and you get yourself this apparent behemoth of righteousness that was literally the sole reason why those two silly boys survived everything, and don’t you dare criticize this angel of perfection OR ELSE.

[acciofanfics]

First Time (Young Remus Lupin x Reader)

Summary: Remus’ and (Y/N)’s first time together.

Pairing: Young Remus Lupin x FemReader

Warnings: Maybe language? Smut in the next part. Kinda insanely cheesy 😬

A/N: So I started writing and it’s already a little longer than my normal imagines so I decided just to split it up! Requests are still open! - S

——————————————————————

The Shrieking Shack wasn’t a very pleasant place to be, it was dark and dusty, with broken furniture and torn tatters of fabric for curtains in almost every room. There was also the fact that it was haunted, or it must’ve been because if Albus Dumbledore encouraged the rumors then there must’ve been some truth to it. There wasn’t, but only a handful of people knew that and with there only being one secret entrance to the building it was unlikely to change. Luckily for (Y/N) she was one of those people.

(Y/N) didn’t visit the shack as much as James, Sirius, Peter and Remus did (Remus did not agree with her helping on the full moon).... or at least she hadn’t in the past, but this month she thought she might’ve frequented it more than the boys ever did. Of course, none of them really fancied being there; it was visits of necessity rather than pleasure. However, (Y/N) hoped to change that at least briefly for one of the boys.

Remus took note of her sudden absence in the common room and during meals. There was only about a week before the next full moon and he’d barely seen his girlfriend since the last one. Whenever he asked James or Sirius they would both shrug and suggested playfully that she simply wasn’t into him anymore. Remus knew that they were joking, and he tried to dismiss those thoughts especially whenever she was around (however brief those periods would be), but it was hard. Remus never quite thought she was sane for wanting to be with him; she deserved so much better. So maybe she was finally wising up... maybe she even already found someone else. There was only one irrational way to get to the bottom of this: follow her. And he had to admit he wasn’t pleased to see her use ‘immobulus’ on the Whomping Willow and dip down into the passage that it hid.

(Y/N) looked back at the room and smiled. It had taken a good bit longer than she had originally planned, but she finished and that’s what mattered. Maybe she could even convince Remus to sneak out with her tomorrow night. She’d given herself the task of taking one of the small rooms in the Shrieking Shack and giving it a good makeover. It probably wouldn’t last, she knew how intense Remus’ transformations could get, but her goal was to just give him one happy memory in the otherwise dank home.

“What’s this?” Remus’ voice startled (Y/N) and she jumped a bit. It didn’t take her very long to compose herself though and she beamed at him like a child on Christmas.

“Surprise! I’ve been working on this for awhile, took longer than I thought and I was gonna show you tomorrow night... What do you think?” (Y/N) shuffled a bit, she knew Remus well enough to know she could probably hand him a stone and he’d pretend it was the most thoughtful thing in the world, but she was still a little nervous waiting for his response.

Remus took a minute to take in everything. She’d clearly worked hard and he didn’t want to miss any details. She had chosen a small bedroom on the second floor and not only cleaned it up but gathered lanterns and fresh bedding. In the corner he could see a small table with an assortment of candies and different bottled beverages which looked to be Gillywater and maybe Firewhisky (he was sure that she had help from Sirius, James and Peter on acquiring that since it wasn’t allowed on Hogwarts grounds by students at least). He also spotted a few pillows and blankets spread across the floor as a makeshift seating area.... honestly he was speechless and he felt his stomach drop thinking about what he’d thought she was up to earlier.

That wasn’t the look she was searching for, “I- I’m sorry! I can put it all back the way it was-“

“No! It’s perfect, like maybe one of the nicest things anyone has done and James, Sirius and Peter had to keep a mandrake leaf in their mouth for a month for me,” Remus chuckled a bit, “I just feel bad... I kinda thought you were cheating on me or planning on breaking up with me.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Remus, “I suppose I have been a little secretive lately so I’ll let it slide this time. However, I should hope you would know that I would never do that.”

“Why did you do all this?” Remus questioned. He definitely appreciated her effort, but he wondered about the reasoning. While he would never let her see him firsthand, she’d seen the aftermath of his condition and she knew it wasn’t a gentle one... he was covered in scars and bruises and didn’t want her to be upset if he was unable to control himself and keep the decorations pristine.

“Oh! Well, I know you don’t really like being here and of course that makes sense, but I thought maybe it would be nice to make a couple of good memories here since it’s been a big part of your life.” (Y/N) let him go and began twiddling her thumbs a bit, “I mean... I also thought we’re at a pretty good point in our relationship where... you know?”

Remus went a little rigid, it wasn’t that he didn’t have that desire. It was just he didn’t really want anyone to get THAT close to him, he had felt somewhat guilty about even getting involved with her (everyone told him how stupid he was being and he gave it a shot). He was happy he ignored those feelings because he truly was in love with her and although he knew they were children in most people’s eyes he couldn’t imagine himself with anyone else. But still, this would change everything probably and there was another thing: the scars. He didn’t like that she could see the ones on his face... he shuddered to think how repulsed she’d be when she saw that it didn’t get better. No. He knew that was silly, she wasn’t that type of person but his insecurities still crippled him. “It’s not that I don’t want to, you know that right?”

“I know and please don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way. If you’re not ready that’s fine and we can have a nice night regardless. I just want you to know that I’m not afraid or worried about anything. I love you... all of you, including the parts you don’t want me to see.” (Y/N) shot him an encouraging smile, “I don’t mind waiting.”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try...” Remus gave in. He still didn’t want to make any promises in case he backed out; he did have the tendency to over think things and get in his own head.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Sgt. Hartman

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You met Sgt. Hartman while stationed as a nurse at the boot camp. You supposed that working in basic training was better than on the battlefield; especially since this would be your first gig as an army nurse, but the comparison did little to ease your nerves. You were still going to be taking care of a bunch of untrained men floundering around with dangerous weapons and equipment. 

- Regardless of your worries, you arrived at the camp early in the morning with your bags all packed and your hands eager to do something. As you stepped outside of your car, you were met with the sight of the older man, hands behind his back and a straight, almost scowling expression on his face.

- His face softened upon seeing you; though it didn’t do much to make him any less intimidating. The man introduced himself, ushering you to follow behind him as he began to give you a tour of your “new home”. After he showed you around, you were taken into the barracks and introduced to everyone in typical Hartman fashion. 

“Private cowboy, where's the infirmary,” He’d bellowed out and the man; Private Cowboy, quickly answered the shouted question. “Precisely! Now, if one of you sacks of shit gets your dick blown off by your rifle, this is who you will go and see! Is that clear?”

“Sir yes sir.” You’d nearly shouted alongside them. 

- The man demanded obedience, oozed authority, and held enough power in his hands to make a persons knees buckle beneath them. He was old enough to be your father and yet, there was something about him that just drew you in. 

- Unbeknownst to you, the drill sergeant was equally attracted to you as you were to him. 

- Now Hartman hasn’t had to flirt for a while so he’s a bit rusty. His attempts to compliment you are stunted and awkward and he isn’t quite sure what to talk to you about. But over time he gets back into the swing of things.

- Believe it or not, he used to be quite the catch when he was younger; and while he’s a few years past what you’d probably consider his “prime”, deep down he’s still just as suave and …creative. 

- It’s going to take you a while to realize exactly what he’s trying to accomplish, mainly because; in the beginning, you can’t really spend a lot of time together. He’s a busy man and even if you were to see him a lot, you most likely wouldn’t assume your superior; who’s that much older than you, is trying to hit on you. It would seem like more of a “a girl can dream” moment. 

- As I mentioned before, when you’re first starting to actually get to know each other, you aren’t really able to spend a lot of time together. He decides to do something about that, requesting that you come with him and his recruits when they go to do field training or target practice; “so you can be right there if something happens to them”. 

- Most of the time, you’re just sitting and watching but when he’s able to, he’ll stand by your side and make conversation, throwing in some slightly suggestive and ambiguously flirtatious comments. He doesn’t want to lay it on too thick in front of the “maggots”. 

- It’s only when the two of you get some alone time together that you can have some genuine banter. You flirt light heartedly, in a way that many would perceive as joking though it’s not a joke to either of you. He teases you and you tease him right back, something he’s quite fond of. 

- Well, it all comes to a head on New Years. You’re sitting in your office, finishing up some paperwork and feeling just the slightest bit homesick when you hear a knock at your door. 

- It’s obviously him, and while you figured he might stop by, the champagne he’s holding is certainly a surprise. Regardless, you soon find yourself sitting on your desk with him standing beside you, the both of you a little tipsy; just enough to make you feel warm and loose. 

- The remarks you exchange are a blur. All you can remember is watching in a heated daze as he leans in closer and closer until finally he seizes your lips in his. Long, slow, and slightly clumsy, the two of you kiss for what seems like forever, your arms wrapping around his neck as his fingers dig into your hips. 

- It’s a few minutes past midnight when you finally break apart and you shyly wish him a happy new years, unsure of what to say besides those few words. He merely chuckles huskily and pulls you into another kiss. 

- And thus begins your relationship with the master of maggots. 

- Modest and reserved pda. He’s got a bit of a reputation to keep up so most of your affection is gonna happen behind closed doors.

- He may be a hard man but he’s soft with you; surprisingly so at times. If any of his cadets saw the two of you when you thought you were alone, they’d die of shock right then and there.

- Long, hard kisses.

- Swats to the butt in private. You stand before him with a beautiful bottom and expect him not to touch it? You ask too much of him. He’s only human.

- He likes to keep a hand on the small of your back. It’s sort of a show of ownership; for lack of a better word. He wants everyone to know that you’re off limits without outwardly telling them.

- He’s a fan of pet/nicknames if you couldn’t tell. You get called a lot of different things: sweetheart, honey, darling, sugartits, etc.

- He’s not a huge cuddler but he’ll sling an arm around you and let you lay your head on his arm even though it makes the appendage annoyingly fall asleep.

- He’s an old fashioned man; a Christian one at that, so a want for domesticity has been instilled in him from a young age. Let’s hope you’re willing to be a little homemaker because that’s what he’s expecting and hoping for.

- Making breakfast for him in the morning. He always gives you a “mornin sunshine” and a side hug when he walks into the kitchen.

- Straightening out his tie for him.

- Sitting on his desk and putting his hat on when he isn’t wearing it. It earns you a little smile every time you do so.

- Kisses on the temple.

- There’s going to be long stretches of time where you don’t see each other in person, it’s a part of the job and you’ll just have to accept it. It sure makes for some great reunions!

- He gets all proud whenever you praise him; especially for his medals and things of that nature. He puffs his chest out that slightest bit, straightening his shoulders as he tries to act modestly.

- Being there for all of his recruits ceremonies and congratulating him for making “another fine batch of soldiers”. 

- Watching his drills in your spare time. Even if you aren’t fond of some of his particular methods of earning respect and shaping his students, you can still admire him and the power he holds.

- Like I said, you may not like some of the ways he treats some of his cadets but you sure have to stifle a laugh when you pass by every now and again. You feel like a bad person but you can’t help it; he’s a funny, raunchy man.

- Late night meetings in your office. Try to remember to lock the door behind him.

- He’s got wonderfully rough hands and that’s all I’ll say about that.  

- He enjoys being able to make you laugh. He’ll tell you jokes, poke your sides, throw you over his shoulder; whatever it takes to make you giggle and squeal.

- You get away with a lot of things no one else could. You think anyone else could insult or talk back to this man without having their holes resized? No ma’am, not a chance.

- Few people are graced with his smile and you are one of those few people. It may be a small one but it still feels like an honor every time you see it.

- He’s been a drill instructor for quite a while so he’s certainly got a few stories to tell. They range from violent to embarrassing; for someone else, to just plain funny; you’ve got a tale for every mood.

- Hearing the stories behind his scars and tattoos. He likes the way you trace your fingers delicately across them while listening intently to what he has to say.

- He may or may not have gotten your name tattooed on him. 

- If you want to go out and do something, he’s one old man that can handle it. He enjoys being in the great outdoors so hiking and things of that nature are right up his alley.

- Barbecues. He will tease you if you’re vegetarian or vegan; all while grilling vegetables and veggie burgers.

- He prefers dates where the two of you can be alone together. It’s nice to get away from the stupidity of his cadets and from your hectic work.

- Sitting in his lap after a long day. He likes holding your hip in his hand and giving it a light squeeze every once and a while, usually after he makes some teasing remark.

- Nighttime brandy and bourbon. It’s a nice way to wind down before bed.

- Sneaking around the camp with each other. You’ve shared several kisses behind shut blinds and secluded corners.

- Hunting, fishing and camping trips. He’s a typical middle aged man who likes to kill and you’re his girl so you’re always invited to join him.

- Getting taught how to shoot and assemble guns. He thinks it’s a skill that everyone should know, even a pretty little things like you. 

- Trying to get him to ease up just a little bit; at least in some cases. He may be a professional drill instructor but you’re a professional human and you know when some people require something other than humiliation to learn.

- A jealous man. He feels a bit silly whenever he gets that burning feeling inside but he reasons that you’re his woman and he has the right; especially when it’s some young stud flirting with you. Usually, he’ll narrow his eyes at them and turn on his intimidation, asking them where they’re supposed to be and ordering them away as soon as whatever you needed to do with them is finished.

- He can always tell when you’re only trying to be nice and/or do your job so he never gets angry at you. He’ll just tell you not to be so sweet all the time and/or walk out without another word.

- A bit overprotective; he hears about anything and he makes sure to handle it. He doesn’t often use violence but his presence is enough to spook people. Rest assured, if it’s one of his cadets that’s causing problems, they’ll be running laps from sunrise to sunset.

- You get a whole lot of respect; at least to your face. No one is ever gonna start trouble with you, not when they know who you’re with. The most you’ll get is some young kid trying to push his luck but Hartman makes sure to squash that fast.

- He gets out most of his frustration at work so the two of you rarely fight; at least not aggressively. If there’s an issue then you’ll argue and resolve it within the hour, that’s just the way he is. The only time the two of you have a serious fight is when you’re adamant on trying to change the way he does things.

- If he’s upset you then he’ll apologize for that but trying to get an apology for anything else is like pulling teeth. He has a hard time admitting when he’s wrong though it isn’t too much of a problem since he rarely is in the wrong.

- He doesn’t tell you that he loves you very often but he does so on occasion, usually on your anniversary and during long goodbyes; things like that.

- As a god-fearing, old fashioned man, he intends to make an honest woman out of you as soon as he can. He’d be stupid not to.