#not sure if people will like this at all but the shapes make my brain happy at least

[gothic-aesthetic-gal]

Old Scars (Part 14)

Ledger!joker x reader

Fem!reader is kidnapped by the joker and his henchmen while just trying to get a moment's reprieve from her boring, soul-destroying job ✨️

Tw: I mean, we all saw TDK, right? I'd say this is on the same level/rating. Kidnapping, violence, mentions of minor characters (not J) being misogynist/threatening SA, reference to past traumatic injury. This chapter continues the themes of being under the influence of a drug, with nightmarish hallucinations. Beyond this i'm not sure, i'll update these when I write more.

Part 14 -

I couldn't tell whether I was stuck in the grips of whatever Vladislav had dosed me with for hours, days, or weeks even. Time ceased to exist entirely in whatever dark place my brain had slipped down into. I was stuck in a purgatory of living nightmares, gripped by insanity, at the mercy of horrific hallucinations.

In the first moment of clarity I had, like the briefest spot of sun breaking through the thick clouds of a battering storm, I became faintly aware of my surroundings. I was laid out on a double bed in a white room.

I watched the peeling paint in one corner as it seem to pulsate and move. My blood was thumping in my ears, my throat dry as sandpaper, and the thin bars of light poking through the half shuttered blinds were unbearable. I groaned and drew up my arms and legs, rolling up like a little pilbug.

This glimpse of reality was short lived because the substance wasn't done tormenting me yet. I was burning up. Sweat beading from every pore, my skin felt raw and I thought that it was blistering. I frantically stripped off any clothing I had on, the fabric feeling like needles against my flesh. In this, the first of many subsequent after shocks, I began to see terrible things again.

All manner of abstract horrors flickered to life in my poisoned brain as I screamed and begged for help until my voice gave out. Occasionally, I thought I could make out voices nearby, or less often, in the room with me. Once of twice, I thought someone, or something, was stood over me but If I tried to make out their figure, it was like trying to look for a person in swirling mist - my brain kept latching onto shapes, and then they would move and I'd lose them again.

I thought that I was stood on one of the wide streets in the centre of the city, probably in the financial district. I shuddered at the sight of the glistening chrome skyscrapers towering over me, like knives stabbing into the sky. The air was thick with smoke and the sidewalks and road eerily empty. Devoid of life. Where were the finance workers in their suits and ties dashing around? Time is money so they always rushed between offices. Where were the cops on patrol, the city officials in sleek cars? Where were the taxis ferrying the regular folk: the cashiers, the bank tellers, the office workers, like myself? It was like finding an empty ant farm. What was the point of the structure if there was nothing living inside?

I felt my chest tighten up. Why was no one here? What had happened? I began to walk forwards into the fog, desperate to find some sign of life. Eventually I broke into a jog, one unsteady foot after the other, beating against the grey asphalt of the road. Rapidly twilight came and went and the heavy cloak of nightfall dropped over the city. The road seemed to never end or change. Just as I was about about to give up in utter despair, I hit a crossroads.

I saw a looming firetruck abandoned in the centre of the junction. Brilliant orange flames were licking their way along the bright red paint, reducing it to a burnt out shell. The windows were shattered and the tyres slashed. Still no people, alive or dead. Not knowing what else to do, I kept running along the main avenue. Finally the shapes of some cars emerged from the shroud of the smoke and fog. They too were abandoned, little more than burnt out husks.

Suddenly, I thought I heard the briefest whisper of a voice on the wind. I whirled around, this way and that, trying to seek it out.

"(Y/n)"

Something, or someone was calling to me.

"Where is it taking you now?" It came again from behind me this time.

I circled round, desperate to find the source. The voice was low, and oddly familiar. I couldn't place it. My brain felt like it had short circuited and all the connections were fried.

"What do you see?"

This time it sounded much closer, from the right and clear enough that the man speaking could have been right next to me. I whipped in the direction of the voice. There he stood, so close that I almost jumped out of my own skin. I stumbled and fell backwards on my ass in the road.

He stepped forward, his vibrant purple coat, even faded as it was, a dazzling contrast to the grey world around me. I looked up in silent fear at his face, covered in white paint with black circles around his dark eyes. There was the splashed curve of a blood red smile extending beyond the bounds of his lips, and his hair was a tangled mess of green-tinted curls hanging forward as he leaned over me with hunched shoulders.

I shrank back in his shadow, fear running through me, and struggled under his piercing gaze. I was silent, too afraid and confused to speak.

"What do you see?" He asked again.

"I - I see you," I stammered out in confusion, struggling to sit upright.

"Me?" Came his reply, and he looked equally confused.

The smoke was thinning out around us now, and the ghostly shapes of the city began to reappear with greater clarity as I slowly hauled myself up and back to my feet. My whole body ached in protest, even my bones felt like they were sore.

"Where... where am I?" I asked the strange man before me.

"Well, that depends?"

"What do you mean?"

I screwed up my face in confusion and rubbed my sore head.

"It depends. On the one hand you're here with me," he threw out his arms and spun around gesturing at the empty streets.

"And, on the other?"

He abruptly stopped spinning, his coat swaying around him and revealing a flash of beautiful orange silk lining, like dancing flames.

"On the other, you're supposed to be somewhere else."

I frowned.

"Where else am I supposed to be?"

"Beats me!" He erupted into laughter.

"Is she still out of it?" A new voice echoed around me.

Again it belonged to a man, and he spoke with a thick accent but it was still just the two of us standing in the empty street, now so clear that I could see right the way along upper fifth.

"She's sometimes responding to me now."

"So the the treatment is working?"

"Well yeah, but she's still gonna be a bit loopy until all of it leaves her system for good."

My head felt like it was full of thick sludge as I staggered forwards, past the strange man in the long purple coat. Nothing made sense. Something was wrong. What had he said?

'You're supposed to be somewhere else.

I decided to veer left, since going forwards didn't seem to actually cover any ground. I found myself in one of the compartments of a large revolving door to one of the skyscrapers. Turning around, I saw that the man had somehow appeared opposite me. He gave me an enthusiastic wave, much to my horror. I had to get away, something was deeply unsettling about him and now he was following me.

I turned and ran full tilt for a line of elevators, aggressively smashing my fingers against the call buttons and frantically looking over my shoulder. One of them finally arrived and I bolted inside, again smashing the buttons of the control panel desperately trying to get the doors to close. From my position, I could now see him again as he walked towards me - there was something all the more sinister about his leisurely pace. It was as though he was a big cat, stalking it's prey in the long grass.

The doors began to draw closed and I pressed the button for the top floor, feeling a swell of relief as the elevator began to shift upwards. I watched as the light on the control panel flickered through each of the markers for the forty-six floors. It seemed to take forever, and I was shocked when the destinstion arrived.

I gingerly stepped out into a large open-plan space. There was glass everywhere, and I felt like I was in a fish tank. I wandered by some partitioned executive offices, and paused for a moment as I saw that one had a beat up old tv set in it. It was so at odds with the surroundings that I felt compelled to look closer and approached. It was switched on and something was playing. I fiddled with the aerials on the top until the static dissipated and the picture clarified.

Much to my surprise, the film was one I thought I might have seen before... but I was struggling to recall what it was. I could see a man and a woman climbing the stairs of a tower. The scene was fraught, and they seemed to be arguing, or he seemed to be confronting her. The building violins in the soundtrack were spiralling higher and higher. I turned away from it: I had to keep going. I had to keep moving, even if I didn't know why.

Next, I came across an outdoor terrace which I rushed out to. The cold night air greeted me as I pushed open the door and a breeze blew past me back into the building, scattering loose papers in stacks on the desks. There were multiple empty tables and chairs lined up in neat rows. I wondered if some of the workers would drink coffee and talk about important meetings up here. I noticed one table was laid out, but not with what I'd expected to see. Instead it was littered with empty beer bottles and a deck of cards, like the vanished people had been interrupted mid-game. As I moved closer the wind picked up the cards and scattered them in every direction.

I reached out to grab the nearest one as it fluttered by. They were bigger than I'd have expected a standard pack of cards to be, and I soon realised why: they were tarot cards. I turned over the one I'd fished out of the clutches of the wind.

On it was a picture of a crumbling tower, struck by lightning, and two people falling from the top. The windows were bursting with flames and the storm clouds raging behind it. I felt a pang of dread at such an obvious bad omen.

The wind was rapidly picking up and I decided that I would have to head back indoors. I had wanted to look out over the city, hoping it might reveal some clue as to where everyone had gone, but I was terrified of being so very high up. As I turned to reatreat, there was an almighty boom, and the walkway beneath my feet shook so violently that I was thrown off balance. I knew immediately that something was deeply wrong.

There was a crescendo of shattering glass, and a horrible grinding, scraping sound. The whole building seemed to shudder beneath me. At a loss for what else to do, I picked myself up and ran back inside. As I fled in a total panic around a blind corner, I collided with something and went crashing to the ground.

"Hey, watch it!" Yelled out a man from the ground beside me.

I floundered around in confusion as he picked himself up and gathered the things I had knocked out of his hands.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He huffed, hurrying off.

I ran back to the elevator and waited anxiously for the next one to open. As the doors slid back I was again shocked as no less than fifteen people hurried out and chastised me for not waiting my turn. On the one hand, it should have been a huge relief to have people back, but on the other it only drove me to further madness in my desperate attempts to make sense of the whole situation.

As the elevator reached the fifth floor it stopped. The doors parted to reveal the strange man I had run away from earlier. I jumped back in horror and pressed myself back into the corner of the lift as he stepped in. He looked at me with an air of superiority and disinterest as I cowered in the corner. We continued to travel down to street level and a sharp ding indicated our arrival.

The opening doors revealed a scene of complete carnage unfolding - it looked as though a bomb had gone off in the lobby, all the glass was broken, things were on fire, people were running around screaming as the air was filled with acrid smoke. The man with the painted face strolled out into the middle of it all, entirely unfazed as I trailed after him in disbelief.

Out in the street, the usual bustle of city life had returned as though it was never gone and I stood beside the road watching as people and cars jostled for space. The air filled with the sound of police sirens as cop cars screeched to a halt outside the building and officers ran up the steps.

Just as I was looking down fifth avenue towards the mayor's offices at the end, several more explosions rocked the ground beneath my feet. Multiple buildings were hit. Cars swerved, people screamed, and panic took hold. Everyone began to run. Everyone except the strange man I had followed and myself. The crowd moved around us like water in a stream as we stared at one another.

One of the frantic people broke off from the herd and collided with me. I moved to try and help her up from where she'd fallen but she slapped my hand back.

"What are you doing just standing there gawking. Get the fuck out of the way!" She yelled as she gathered up her briefcase and scrambled away.

Suddenly I found my hand was clasped in the purple gloved hand of the strange man with the painted face. He put me into the position for a waltz, posing my limbs like I was a marionette. Before I could protest, I was whirling around in a strange dance with him. It felt like I was bewitched, like my feet automatically moved and I had no choice but to obey. The only kind of dancing I was accustomed to was jumping around a crowded dancefloor, too many shots deep to form any coherent thoughts - and that was as a teenager: an increasingly distant memory. We had all paid off the bouncer to not question our obviously fake IDs, and misspent our youth drinking and dancing all night. I found myself wondering where any of those people were now; ten years was a long time...

We were spinning around at such a dizzying rate that the towering buildings around me started to blur as my body kept graceful timing. Abruptly, we came to a halt as he put me into a dip. It felt strange to be suspended, as if mid-fall, held there by his strong grip. I looked up at his face in silent confusion.

He pulled us both back to standing position and I withdrew my hand from its resting place on his shoulder. The city started to fade and bleed, like an ink drawing in the rain. All the bleak colours and the harsh lines blotted together. Everything around me began to re-materialse as something else, and before I knew it, I was standing on a bridge. The rain was coming down in fat, heavy droplets which soaked into my clothes and ran over my skin. The hands holding me in place released me and I looked back to see who had brought me to this place. My strange dance partner stood just out of my reach in the downpour. I stepped back from the barrier toward him.

The rain was so heavy it was washing the paint from his features, revealing piece by piece his nakedness - his real skin. He looked lost in thought, and I had to touch his arm before he would react to my presence. As soon as I did, he spoke.

"You need to wake up."

"But I am awake!" I protested in confusion.

"No, you're not," he muttered back darkly.

I didn't know what he meant. It was all too much.

"If you don't wake up, you might get stuck like this".

"I don't understand."

"You're dreaming, and you have to wake up," he pressed, grabbing onto me and shaking me violently by my shoulders, until it hurt.

"But..." I trailed off as I began to think it through.

It would explain the strange things which kept happening, the way time had seemed to stop, the unexplainable disappearance and reappearance of the city's inhabitants, and the sudden change of location.

"Okay, so how do I wake up?" I asked, but no one was there to answer: he was gone.

I was alone on the bridge. I sank down onto the wet ground in total despair. I don't know how long I sat there, dripping wet and miserable as the heavens continued to pour down over the city. I watched the occasional pairs of car headlights sweep by and listened to the crashing swell of the river somewhere far below.

Maybe what I needed was a shock. If the nightmarish visions had stopped, and I was stuck in this shallow imitation of the city indefinitely, then maybe I needed to do something to shock myself into waking up. I turned slowly towards the bridge's barrier.

Dread immediately sank its claws into my gut. Surely that wasn't the answer... but what if it was? Just the idea of jumping made me feel dizzy and sick. I paced back and forth as I weighed up my options. If nothing else here had inspired enough fear in me to wake me, then I'd have to do something more drastic, and this would certainly qualify. Forcing myself to act out a long-time fear might just be the only thing drastic enough to work.

Why start small? I knew it had to be this. The most fucked up part of me enjoyed the poetry of it too, as I gripped the barrier with trembling hands and willed myself to climb over it. Just the sight of the drop made me want to cry out in panic, to turn and run, but somehow I held fast.

I knew I couldn't do it facing oblivion, so I turned myself around. What was I doing? What if this was all just some mental break I was having? And, oh god, what if it was like the Matrix: where the dream was more pleasant than the reality? If that was the case, this dream world left a lot to be desired. I exhaled sharply, as though I was trying to physically expel my racing thoughts.

A part of me was telling me I had to do this, even if I didn't know why. The primal, most prehistoric part of me was screaming self-preservation, but something in my heart told me to ignore it. As I made my peace with the decision, I saw a dark figure on the opposite side of the bridge. He had emerged from the mist like an apparition, and said nothing as he met my gaze. It was the batman. I wasn't alarmed by his presence, and something about the way he was watching suggested a kind of understanding. He didn't move to stop me, or offer any resistance.

I let go of the bars and leant back as far as I could. My heart fluttered into my throat as I felt gravity come up to greet me and I passed the point of no return. I toppled down into the dark with a scream of terror at my imminent end. I prayed that it would be quick.

With a gasp like I had stopped breathing for several minutes, I coughed and spluttered as I lurched upright. My dry eyes snapped open and I suddenly felt the urge to vomit. I struggled to the end of the bed. Suddenly, a bucket was thrust under my bowed head just in time. My whole body ached. When I finally stopped being sick, I let myself fall back onto the mattress beneath me.

"Kurwa, I'm glad I put the bucket in here," muttered the looming figure to my left. As I looked at him I remembered who he was.

"Are you okay, you were screaming again?" He asked.

"Tony..." I thought aloud.

His eyes widened in excitement.

"You know who I am now, yes?"

"I - I think so," I muttered, rolling onto my side with a groan.

"I will go and tell the boss. He's been watching you a lot, but even he needs sleep sometimes," he said.

I barely had the strength to answer him.

"Okay," was all I managed as Tony left the room with the bucket in hand.

Silent tears of relief rolled down my cheeks as I realised it was over, and I was still breathing.

Link to the masterlist for other chapters:

Tag list:

@dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd

@dance-like-a-clown

@furisodespirit

@heath-ledger-jokers-wife

@sunfyrejoker

@lightsabergirl

@clowning--around

@ruby-da-archangel

@harleenqvinn

@helchronicles

@ostricx

@jumpingjellyfishhaha

@knoepfl

@nicklet94

Dividers by @strangergraphics

[hplonesomeart]

@scimagic Uhhh made this because I just think they’re dynamic is neat. Also completely agree with the Puzzle headcanon super fun silly and very on point. As we speak he is clinging for his dear life :))

I really enjoy seeing the illustrated storyline you have unfolding between the two and figured it would be nice to see this motorcycle sequence in motion. So tadaa here it is! In animated form! Now your obligated to make a full length written novel in-depth about their relationship /j

Sincerely though thanks for the creative inspiration and keep on being a swagger artist 👍✨

[upsidedownsmore]

Tau

Another color swatch collage assignment for school, this time monochromatic (oh my god i wish i could add other colors)

Originally based this on an image from inside of a Murex, though I took a lot of liberties by the end

[avocado62524]

[i-want-a-slurpee]

Okay, so this is an odd one, but PLEASE tell me someone sees what I see here?

At first, I thought it was just letters but now I can clearly see a face there.

Tried different hues and saturations too. In the lighter one, you can see the face better I think, and the darker one shows...something? You can still see the face but you can see maybe letters? Like I said before I thought there was some text there too, but I'm not sure now tbh. I have a vague idea of a thing it could be, BUT I highly doubt it is. I'm also not certain that it is actually Aziraphale either. Maybe it's The Metatron spying on the ineffable duo? If anyone has any theories or anything I would love to hear about it

[contact-guy]

I was seized with a fervor and could not rest until I illustrated one of my favorite scenes from Sherlock Holmes: the Adventure of the Devil's Foot. While Holmes and Watson take a holiday in the Cornish countryside for Holmes's health, multiple people in the nearby village are found driven mad or dead from horror. Holmes deduces a substance that was burned in their presence is to blame. With a bit of the mysterious powder and a gas lamp in hand, he proposes an experiment to Watson...

content warning for drug use!

I'm not sure if it's supported by the canon but in my mind this is the first time Holmes ever apologies to Watson and he is so overcome with emotion that he immediately makes it weird

Text under the cut:

"It is not for me, my dear Watson, to stand in the way of the official police force. I leave them all the evidence which I found. The poison still remained upon the talc had they the wit to find it. Now, Watson, we will light our lamp; we will, however, take the precaution to open our window to avoid the premature decease of two deserving members of society, and you will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair. Oh, you will see it out, will you? I thought I knew my Watson. This chair I will place opposite yours, so that we may be the same distance from the poison and face to face. The door we will leave ajar. Each is now in a position to watch the other and to bring the experiment to an end should the symptoms seem alarming. Is that all clear? Well, then, I take our powder--or what remains of it--from the envelope, and I lay it above the burning lamp. So! Now, Watson, let us sit down and await developments."

They were not long in coming. I had hardly settled in my chair before I was conscious of a thick, musky odour, subtle and nauseous. At the very first whiff of it my brain and my imagination were beyond all control. A thick, black cloud swirled before my eyes, and my mind told me that in this cloud, unseen as yet, but about to spring out upon my appalled senses, lurked all that was vaguely horrible, all that was monstrous and inconceivably wicked in the universe. Vague shapes swirled and swam amid the dark cloud-bank, each a menace and a warning of something coming, the advent of some unspeakable dweller upon the threshold, whose very shadow would blast my soul. A freezing horror took possession of me. I felt that my hair was rising, that my eyes were protruding, that my mouth was opened, and my tongue like leather. The turmoil within my brain was such that something must surely snap. I tried to scream and was vaguely aware of some hoarse croak which was my own voice, but distant and detached from myself. At the same moment, in some effort of escape, I broke through that cloud of despair and had a glimpse of Holmes's face, white, rigid, and drawn with horror--the very look which I had seen upon the features of the dead. It was that vision which gave me an instant of sanity and of strength. I dashed from my chair, threw my arms round Holmes, and together we lurched through the door, and an instant afterwards had thrown ourselves down upon the grass plot and were lying side by side, conscious only of the glorious sunshine which was bursting its way through the hellish cloud of terror which had girt us in. Slowly it rose from our souls like the mists from a landscape until peace and reason had returned, and we were sitting upon the grass, wiping our clammy foreheads, and looking with apprehension at each other to mark the last traces of that terrific experience which we had undergone.

"Upon my word, Watson!" said Holmes at last with an unsteady voice, "I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for one's self, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry."

"You know," I answered with some emotion, for I have never seen so much of Holmes's heart before, "that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you."

He relapsed at once into the half-humorous, half-cynical vein which was his habitual attitude to those about him. "It would be superfluous to drive us mad, my dear Watson," said he. "A candid observer would certainly declare that we were so already before we embarked upon so wild an experiment. I confess that I never imagined that the effect could be so sudden and so severe." He dashed into the cottage, and, reappearing with the burning lamp held at full arm's length, he threw it among a bank of brambles. "We must give the room a little time to clear. I take it, Watson, that you have no longer a shadow of a doubt as to how these tragedies were produced?"

[bunnygirllover45]

— THE THRILL OF THE HUNT.

♱ TRIGGER WARNINGS: Johann literally hunts down the reader, Small outburst at the end, and a lot of bullshit talk about hunting because I like it, DEAD DOVE. No violence was used.

Synopsis: You escape from Johann, he has to track you down. WORD COUNT: 1.6k

Johann wasn't exactly the thrill-seeking kind. He always preferred a slow-paced life, not filled with many excitements or tragedies. He wasn’t an adventurous spirit or a fiery soul in search of greater meaning. In his head, the only thing he needed was you.

And maybe that’s why this exact moment made his blood boil with newfound rapture, he could swear for a moment his skin bumped at the feeling of his heart throbbing so quickly against his ribcage. The thrill of the hunt, like his father used to say, made mere men become beasts, some because it was vital for their survival, others because of the rush of power it gave them.

But he couldn’t quite understand it until now. For him, hunts weren’t that exciting. The game was always too easy to track down, the footsteps effortlessly concealed. The gun didn’t feel heavy enough. His breath didn’t quicken at the mere chance of letting his prey slip away; he’ll always find a way to reach them again, after all. Animals have their habits; they’re easy to decipher once you know their true nature.

This is the type of hunt he’s been craving for so long. Johann had to press a hand against his mouth to prevent a low chuckle from escaping. Oh, how right his father was. This was truly trilling to the core, the kind of thrill that made a foreign heat rise towards his head and seep into his very brain tissue.

Humans aren’t like animals, their behavior is a little more erratic, animals can be divided between highly intelligent beings and straight-up dumb ones, but humans? All of them had their quirks, you couldn’t easily guess how prepared someone could be under certain circumstances. “Isn’t that so fucking interesting?” 

Lowering himself to the ground Johann reached to touch the freshly shaped footstep that his precious prey left behind. If they’re leaving such a pretty trail behind they’re expecting me to find them, what a tease.

“You know what kind of animals roam these types of terrains?” His voice was loud enough to carry its sound through the extremely quiet, when the hunt begins, the forest goes quiet, no need to scream. “Bears, moose, sometimes even wolves. Had to detangle a lot of ‘em from traps before, not without properly securing they won’t be able to bite, ‘course.” 

His heavy boots made the rotten wood and debris scattered around the forest soil yield under their weight, no need to change onto more quiet shoes, his bunny wouldn’t be able to hear him coming, surely their heartbeat was the only thing resounding inside their ears. Reaching into his pocket he took out his watch, starting a countdown. “I’ll give you two minutes to gain distance, cover your tracks, you can try hiding if you want, but I wouldn’t recommend staying still, it makes you easier to spot.” 

“Once the two minutes are done I’ll begin searching, I'll make a bird calling each 45 seconds, and once three minutes pass by, I’ll stop making bird callings and hunt in earnest, ‘kay? Just want to make the game easier for you, it isn’t fun if I’m the one with the upper hand all the time even if this is my subject.” 

With a deep sigh, he crouched down again, his hands fidgeting inside his pocket until he found a cigarette, the last one actually. Grabbing his lighter he lit up the tip, taking a slow inhale before letting the smoke escape from his lips. 

His free hand reached to grab the gun he always had with him, it was an old friend of sorts, stuck by his side in all the worst situations, a lot of people meeting their death at the end of this same barrel. Maybe it should have your name, after all, people do name their guns sometimes.

The forest grew more eerily quiet, the sun setting down in the distance while Johann quietly awaited the starting gunshot of the race, he didn’t really need to put the time on his watch, he could already count the time down to the millisecond inside his head. “Forty-eight, forty-nine…” His gloved fingers tapped against his lips, hands tightly clad in leather gloves, perfect for the harsh Austrian winter. 

A part of him wished you didn’t even make the effort to run away, maybe finding you curled up against a rock or a tree just waiting for him to find you was more exciting than actually pursuing you, after all, that meant you truly gave up on the idea of leaving him behind—still, another part of his brain screamed for you to run, so he could find you and make sure you won’t try pulling up bullshit like this again.

Slowly he stood up, the watch making a low beeping sound before he began to walk, settling the gun back onto the strap around his thigh. Holding the cigarette in between his lips he began to prepare the clothes you were going to use once he caught you, after all, little you decided to escape both barefoot and barely dressed, the worst thing in this forest beside him was the cold. Holding the spare jacket he always brought with him inside his bag and a blanket he continued to walk nonchalantly, not even sparing a single stare in any direction that wasn’t just dead front and center. 

Johann's stare drifted onto the floor, a little disappointed that you didn’t take his recommendation into account, there, clear as day, were your pretty little marks for him to follow like a bloodhound. Johann even took the time to carefully make sure he didn’t accidentally step into any of them, not wanting to overshadow the loving tracks you left behind for him with his heavy boots.

He knew very well he was taking all of this too lightly, this was a high gamble where he could lose everything or gain all, but still the elated sense of happiness and bubbling excitement made him more self-confident, too sure you wouldn’t get away too far, and even if you did, he’d stay in the damn forest all the time necessary for you to realize you need to go back onto his loving arms.

Stopping dead in his tracks he turned around as he heard a small sound coming from behind a fallen stump, dead bark peeling off the tree’s corpse. There you are.

And there you were indeed, curled up in a ball, back pressing against the rough bark as you held your arms around your torso, bracing yourself from the harsh winter cold, from the shiver that ran down your shoulders towards your legs or the sight you so pathetically defenseless made him smile, a blush creeping up onto his features.

“You didn’t even run far enough to let me do any bird calls, are you that tired, baby?” He kneeled down in front of you, but as soon as you jolted up in surprise Johann’s hand shot to grab your wrist with unnerving quickness. His dark eyes bore into you, a small smile gracing his lips, but there was no emotion behind that expression of his. “That’s okay, next time I’ll give you some proper equipment, some shoes wouldn’t hurt.” 

His thumb caressed the skin of your wrist, while his other hand threw away the now almost half-smoked cigarette that Johann held in between his lips. Eventually he reached to grab your head in between them, rubbing your cheeks with such tenderness that it could be even soothing in a different situation. “There, you did good. Not good enough to grant you a reward, but you did have me a little scared back there.” His smile widened as he lied through his teeth. You frowned, tired, freezing cold and also breathless, but still with enough energy to try and pry his hand away from your wrist, it was useless, he was latched onto you like a handcuff. “Fuck yo—” Before you could even finish he reached to clasp his free hand onto your mouth, the sudden movement making you stumble backward, head pressing against the tree. “Fuckin’ language.” He whispered between his teeth, staring at you dead in the eyes. “You should be grateful I didn’t put a damn bullet in between those pretty eyes of yours. Runnin’ away from me like that? After all I did for you? I let you away from my sight for just a second and you go jolting away like a fucking rabbit.” 

Taking a deep breath he lowered his head, slowly pushing his hand away from your mouth, his face leaning closer to you, the only warm feeling gracing your warm body being his hot breath against your face. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He pushed your lower lip with his thumb, pressing a soft kiss onto your flesh as some sick and twisted kind of apology.

“I won’t be as lenient next time, ‘kay? You know I care about you a lot, meine Liebe, don’t want you getting hurt.” He forced a smile, leaning his forehead against yours, but again his voice was masked by the thumping sound of your heart against your ears. “Let’s get you back to the car, I’ll get you all warmed up and cozy.” 

You just let him grab you, his hands effortlessly grabbing you and carrying you bridal style as both of you made your way back toward the car, you stole a few glances at Johann’s face, finding a small smile and that darn blush in his cheeks that showed how much he enjoyed himself, maybe a twisted part of him was truly pleased by all of this, even if it just started as a rebellious act of trying to escape from your part.

“Hear that? It’s a White-tailed eagle. Birds of prey, always hunted them with my father as a child.” Suddenly the forest wasn’t so quiet anymore, the hunt has ended.

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[neiptune]

a simple complication

cw: 1.6k wc, female reader, miscommunication my beloved, you have no idea how to confess your feelings to the one miya twin who doesn't remember what happened at suna's party

You’ve never once felt uncomfortable in a Miya household but, as you stand frozen by the doorstep, you realize that just might be about to change.

As you take a deep breath, relentless inner monologue giving its best shot at calming you down, Osamu suddenly swings the door open and you find yourself taking a wobbly step back, surprised. One garbage bag in hand, he looks equally startled.

“Hey”, he smiles after a moment, “what are ya doing?”.

You can barely look him in the eye, which only confuses him more.

“Nothing. I mean, I wanted to see you. Was hoping we could talk?”.

“Uh, sure. Come in, I’ll be right back”.

You quickly do as you’re told, take your shoes off by the door and gingerly shuffle to the couch before your brain decides you may in fact be too much of a coward to initiate the conversation at all.

The apartment seems empty, which indicates that Atsumu is either sleeping or simply not home. You try to remember how many drinks he had the previous evening, at Suna’s halloween party, but the entire night is still such a blur. Except from one specific detail that still makes heat crawl from your throat up to the roots of your hair.

God, how could you be so stupid? It’d be easy to blame it all on the stupid drinks Rintaro kept bringing you, liquid courage, a dumb wink sent your way as he casually suggested it was time you stopped being a pussy. No, it wasn’t entirely his fault, although you should’ve guessed nothing good would come out of a halloween party thrown in the middle of January.

You were in a pretty low effort costume, clown makeup, black dress. You’re all adults now, which made you think no one would actually commit to the bit as much as they did back in high school or during college, but were soon enough proved wrong as soon as you saw Aran and Rintaro respectively in a Daphne and Velma costume. They looked ridiculous and spectacular at the same time.

The twins were the only ones proving your theory, they both arrived to the party in casual clothes and not one bit of makeup on. A shame, the opportunity to see them wear mascara or eyeliner is rare but when they do men and women are affected all the same. You clearly remember once catching Rintaro himself staring at Osamu for a little too long.

“What’s up? Are ya hungry? Brought back some leftovers from the shop, we can have lunch if ‘Tsumu didn’t gobble those down”, his voice makes you jump and your friend stops by the couch, brows suddenly furrowed. “Or not. Are you okay?”.

“Yes!”, you should be relieved, honestly, he’s acting normal. Which means that maybe you didn’t ruin anything. Are you about to? Perhaps coming was a mistake-

“What did you want to talk about?”, Osamu has always been way too good at sensing other people’s emotions, he quickly forgets the lunch proposal and sits next to you instead, close enough for your legs to be pressed against each other. You feel like you may be about to combust.

You’ve known him almost all your life, high school feels like a century ago. The Miyas came as a package deal back then, one couldn’t exist without the other, but as time passed and adulthood shaped their lives in different ways, most people thought each finally got to exist as his own person. Those people were wrong: at least to you, they always held their own individuality. It’s what made them special. It’s what made you fall in love with Samu when he was still a hotheaded teenager, parts of that immature youth still flashing through his grown up demeanor, especially when he’s put in a room with his brother.

“I just wanted to tell you I really value our friendship. You know that, right?”, it feels like you might be about to cry, the way your voice is wavering. He cocks his head.

“Why are ya being so formal?”, Osamu offers a warm chuckle.

“You know that, right?”, you insist.

“I do”, his features soften, “not sure what I’d do without you, honestly”.

You only realize you’re tormenting your fingers when he covers your nervous hands with his own, warm and solid and so much bigger. Once more, it reminds you of the previous night and suddenly you’re worried you might truly cry. The twins don’t do well with tears, every single time they’ve seen you cry throughout the years, they always comically panicked as they awkwardly tried to offer some comfort. It never worked. You wish Kita was here to save the day, just like he always did back then.

“Samu, I’m sorry”, you murmur.

“For what? Now you’re worrying me”, he squeezes your hands in his and you look up from your lap to meet his perturbed gaze.

Like a slap in the face, it hits you. He doesn’t remember. Now, this is a scenario you didn’t prepare yourself to face.

Osamu gently bumps his forehead against yours and you almost throw up on the spot.

“Hey? Care to let me in that pretty little head of yours?”.

“You don’t remember?”, you don’t mean for it to come out in such an accusing pitch but it’s inevitable.

“Don’t remember what?”.

Incredulous, you stare back at him. The front door opens once more and this time you both jump. You’re too shocked to pay attention to Atsumu entering the living room, back from a run and dripping with sweat. Samu’s hands on yours can only remind you of how it felt having them briefly take your face in them as he clumsily tried to kiss you back, or maybe push you away, who can tell? You were too drunk and clearly he was too. You basically jumped his bones in Suna’s hallway, thank god no one walked by to witness the way you ran away right after. You wish you were drunk enough to forget that too.

“Hi”, Atsumu says and you’re too absorbed by the vortex of your mortifying thoughts to notice how he awkwardly clears his throat.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu”, you say back distractedly, gaze kept on Samu’s coffee table.

“Go take a shower, you’re dripping on my counter”, Osamu barks as his brother casually opens the fridge to take out a protein shake.

“What’s for lunch?”, Atsumu ignores the order and flashes him a grin instead.

“My elbow in yer ribs if ya don’t go take a shower right now”.

“Jeez, fine. I’ll leave you both to it”.

Osamu furrows his brows as he watches Atsumu disappear upstairs with his shake and an amused grin he’s unable to interpret. It dawns on him that you barely talked to each other, which is usually not what happens. You’re disgustingly close, always have been walking the line between being siblings and something else he’s never really been able to pinpoint. He remembers once asking Atsumu if he liked you and he knows his brother well enough to be sure he was being sincere when he scrunched his face and shook his head no. Not like that.

Osamu would lie if he said he never wondered whether you could like him like that. But you’ve never been as… relaxed with him. It feels like Atsumu is the brother you’re most comfortable with and all these years he’s patiently waited for the news to drop, the relationship to start. Except it never did. He still wonders if ‘Tsumu had to friendly turn you down at some point. He still wonders if you could ever like the Miya you’re clearly less relaxed with, instead.

“What did I forget?”, Osamu gently grabs your chin to make sure you look up and meet his gaze once more. Your mouth feels dry.

“We…”, no, you can’t just say that. We kissed. Incorrect. More like you jumped him in a clearly drunken state and he was too much of a gentleman to fully push you away. It’s a faint memory, his hands on your face, and you can’t recall at all if his lips moved along with yours at some point. They most likely didn’t. And now, if you tell him, you’ll ruin everything. Maybe you should just keep quiet, be a coward and bury the whole thing in a place within your chest, inaccessible to anyone but your sense of guilt.

“We what?”, for a moment, Osamu’s exceptionally gentle tone, paired with his proximity, is inebriating enough to make you want to kiss him again. Then, something odd catches your attention and you blink a few times, surprised.

“What’s this?”, you reach to slightly pinch part of his dark hair between your thumb and pointer finger, to remove what looks like a gold grain. It’s dry and barely visible on your fingertip.

He follows your gaze and lets you go, slightly pulling back with a smile.

“Ah, that. I thought I washed it all off”, Osamu casually runs a hand through his hair a few times, “it’s temporary color spray”.

“You’re gonna dye your hair again?”.

“Nah. ‘Tsumu thought it’d be hilarious if we came to the party with a costume no one would notice. I think only Shinsuke guessed it by the end of the night and even he wasn’t so sure”, he offers a handsome grin but you feel petrified.

“What costume?”.

“We went as each other! Ya couldn’t tell us apart, could ya?”.

His amused smile slowly melts away as he takes in your horrified expression, eyes growing bigger by the second.

“Are you oka-”

“Oh my god”.

[bloomzone]

2025 : #11 - 6% Mentality : why u are holding urself back ?

✒️..It’s January . You’re all fired up about your New Year’s resolutions, right? “This is my year,” u say. “I’ll lose the weight, make the money, start the business, crush my goals.” But BFR : By the time February rolls around, you’re back to your old habits. Your gym membership is collecting dust, that diet is long gone, and that academic cb idea is still just a thought in your head. You’ve been here before iiikr

🏷️[ inspiration: dr.Michelle Robbins refers to her study of 1,000 people, showing that 94% gave up on their resolutions by February but how the 6% managed to succeed ?]

So 94% of people will abandon their goals before they even get started. Let me repeat that 94%. The odds are stacked against you, but there’s a small group—just 6%—who will do the work, face the grind, and get what they want. What separates them from the rest? They know the truth, and they do it even when they don’t feel like it.

Let me give u truth. If you want to be part of the 6%, you need to change how you think, act, and approach your goals. u need to stop being weak.

ONE take charge or shut up.

Your brain is not your friend. It’s a coward. Your brain wants comfort, safety, and the easy way out. Every time you try to do something hard—like losing weight, hitting the gym, or getting out of debt—your brain will whisper, “You deserve a break. Skip the gym. You’ll start tomorrow. One donut won’t hurt.”The reality is that tomorrow never comes. And if you keep listening to your brain, you'll never see any change. The 6%? They don’t listen to their excuses. They take charge. They override their feelings. They don’t give a damn about comfort or instant gratification—they’re thinking about where they want to be a year from now.

You need to make a choice: Are you going to let your feelings control you? Or are you going to start controlling your feelings? Take charge. You don’t want it bad enough if you keep letting your brain win.

Two get specific or quit.

Enough with the vague promises. “I’ll work out more.” “I’ll eat healthier.” Bullshit. That’s not a goal—that’s a wish. You might as well wish on a star and hope things magically change.The 6% know that vague goals don’t work. They get specific. Instead of saying, “I’ll lose weight,” they say, “I’ll eat 1,800 calories a day and hit the gym for 30 minutes every morning at 7 AM.” Instead of saying, “I want to be a high achiever,” they say, “I’ll study 2h and rest for 30 min until I get it” ..Your brain loves specifics. It’s easy to stay motivated when you know exactly what to do. But when you’re vague, you have no idea where you’re going, and no one gets anywhere with no direction.

You need to stop with the “I’ll try” and start with “I will.” If you can’t commit to specifics, then stop whining about why things aren’t working. You get what you decide to get, not what you wish for.

Three focus on the 10

You’re busy. I get it. WE ARE IN A SOCIETY WHERE EVERYONE IS BUSY..You’ve got a million things on your to-do list. But guess what? Most of that stuff doesn’t matter. You’re wasting time on things that don’t move the needle. “Check emails. Scroll Instagram. Clean your room.” Sure, they make you feel productive, but they don’t move you closer to your goals.You need to stop being busy and start being effective. The 6% know how to focus. They don’t waste time on trivial shit. They get to work on the 10s—the things that actually matter. If your goal is to get in shape, that means working out. It doesn’t mean cleaning your kitchen or sending one more email. If your goal is for example become an academic weapon is not watching how to study for exam in the last night ..

Get real with yourself pookie Stop pretending you’re busy. Look at your list. What’s the ONE thing that moves you closer to your goal? Do that first. The rest? It can wait. If it’s not a 10, don’t waste your time on it.

Forth small steps big results.

Let’s not sugarcoat this: If you want to succeed, you have to make sacrifices. There’s no shortcut. But the thing most people don’t get that You don’t need to change everything at once. You don’t need to completely overhaul your life. Start small.Take one step at a time. If you’re trying to lose weight, drink one glass of water before every meal. That’s it. But don’t stop there. Once that becomes easy, add something else: Maybe you walk 10 minutes every day. Or swap out soda for water.

The 6% get it: Small actions snowball. They build momentum. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up consistently.

The Challenge: 30 Days of Realness.

Pick one goal. ONE. And commit to it for the next 30 days. No excuses. Write it down. Be specific. Take charge. Get rid of all the distractions and focus on what matters. Every single day, make progress—even if it’s just a little.But if you’re not serious about this, don’t bother. If you’re not willing to do what it takes—if you’re too busy making excuses—then stop pretending you want to change. The 6% don’t have time for excuses. They do the work, even when it’s hard, even when they don’t feel like it.believe in urself and be disciplined !!

So, get off your ass, stop whining, and start doing. Because if you keep playing the same game, you’re going to keep getting the same results. But if you’re ready to be part of the 6%? You better bring your A-game. And you better be real with yourself.

@bloomzone 📇

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

come back. l Joel Miller

Summary: first steps together

Warnings:  +18, smut, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do that), Ellie is mean to Joel

A/N: I guess I'm not done with them yet. Sorry!

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

Everything was getting out of control, or maybe that's how it was supposed to be. Maybe he had already forgotten what it was like to lose control over himself, to be carried away by the moment and emotions, when instincts take over you, when you're a little selfish. Now it was all happening at once and Joel felt like a hurricane was raging in his body.

Your lips tasted of sweet wine, he felt the curves of your body under his hands, your fingers were intertwined in his hair. And he felt amazing. 

You were sitting astride his lap. The dress you were wearing was rolled up enough so that Joel's hands had access to your thighs.

Holy shit! Everything he had closed so tightly years ago was now exploding with new force.

He invited you to dinner, to spend the evening as if the world outside the walls of Jackson hadn't gone crazy, and you were just two people close to each other. When you showed up at his door in that dress, Joel believed that this could really happen.

You looked different than usual. You were a little embarrassed, it had been years since you last wore something nice. Joel's reaction was also specific, he was totally surprised and had a hard time greeting you.

And now you were on this couch, and his tongue was deep in your throat. Big, strong hands squeezed your buttocks, and you moaned feeling the hard bulge in his jeans under you.

"Wait." he whispered, pulling away from your lips for a moment, his hair was already a total mess from your hands. "Are you sure you want this?"

"Joel..." you sighed, smiling. "Do you think I would wear a dress if I wasn't sure?"

You saw him swallow. The last parts of his brain were trying to fight something he wanted so badly. He saw your glazed eyes, swollen lips, you were breathing deeply and your chest was heaving gently.

"Don't you like me?" Your question tore him from his stream of thoughts.

He grabbed your hand and slid it between your bodies where his hard cock was trying to get out of his jeans. You smiled and bit your lower lip feeling the hard shape under your fingers.

"That's a nice compliment." you stated "Please, Joel... I've been thinking about you for so long. Don't make me wait."

"Were you thinking about me?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.

"I didn't want to tell you anything though. We were friends, partners. Besides, Ellie was with us. I didn't want to, I didn't want to say something that you wouldn't reciprocate, and I would ruin what we had."

"Fuck, darling." he sighed, with difficulty pulling your hand away from his crotch. Just a little more and he would have exploded into his jeans like a fucking teenager. "I- I thought about you too. So many times..."

"Did you touch yourself then?" he looked at you surprised. "Once, when you were on watch, I woke up and I think I heard you. I didn't want to disturb you, but then I heard my name and..."

Joel cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess I did. It's embarrassing."

"It's sexy." you corrected him and kissed him hard so he would definitely believe your words. "Take me to your bed, Joel."

You didn't have to repeat it a second time.

Although Joel had seen you naked before, he had never seen you like this. His eyes took you all in. When the dress fell to the floor, his heart stopped for a moment, then started racing.

"What do you think?" you asked uncertainly.

He was unable to answer, his voice caught in his throat. Instead, his hands rested on your face and he kissed you hard. Your fingers unbuttoned his shirt and soon moved to his chest.

Joel couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him like this. Gently, with feeling. Your closeness and tenderness were peeling off layers of him, and it wasn't just about clothes. 

You stumbled backwards and your legs hit the edge of the bed. Joel slowly laid you down, and then his eyes moved over your entire body.

"Stunning." He said quietly, and you could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth.

He slowly unbuckled the belt on his jeans and slid them down, his dark eyes never leaving your face. Without a word, his hands reached for the edges of your panties and slid them too.

Your skin was already so sensitive that every touch of his was felt by you even more strongly. You had never felt anything like this before.

Joel climbed onto the bed and closed you between his broad shoulders. Your lips found each other again. The heat radiating from his body was overwhelming and you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. You wanted to feel him next to you, on you, inside you, in every way possible.

Only him.

Kisses went down to your neck and cleavage, you moaned softly as he squeezed your breast.

"You're perfect..." he whispered "So fucking perfect..."

"Joel, please..." you moaned.

You needed anything to help you, to give you relief, from the growing arousal between your thighs. And he gave it to you. The same hand slid down your hip and found your hot center, you were already wet and slippery with desire.

"For me?" Joel smiled slyly, and you felt the heat creep up your neck.

"Please..."

The colossal fingers slid over your folds and soon you felt a pleasant pressure as they slid into your heated core.

"Fuck, baby..." Joel looked in awe where his fingers disappeared inside you "You wrap them so well. I can't wait to be inside you."

You couldn't answer. The feeling was overwhelming, you would never be able to give yourself something like that. Joel's fingers seemed to find all the spots in you that made your head spin. You gasped as his warm lips captured your nipple, sucking hard. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling it harder than you intended. You were so close...

"I'm holding you, baby girl." his warm breath on your sternum "Let it go."

He lightly bit your other breast, his fingers sliding in and out of you harder and harder and soon you were tightening your legs around his hand as the pleasure flooded your body.

"Fuuuuck!" you moaned, arching your back.

Joel had never seen you more beautiful. He wanted more. To see, to feel, to taste, to experience. With you. 

He slid down his boxers, and his hard, swollen cock appeared in full. Joel grabbed it at the base and rubbed your juices along its entire length.

"It's been a while." he said, noticing your gaze. "I can...fuck... I might not last long."

"I don't care, Joel." you said. "I want to feel you. This is enough for me. I want you to cum too."

The head of his cock brushed against your entrance. For a moment you felt anxiety whether he would fit, whether you would be enough for him, but then you felt him start to slide into you. Inch by inch. 

Your walls stretched and took him inside, your hands tightened around his strong shoulders. When Joel entered all the way, you both froze for a moment. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, breathing deeply.

"Fuck..." he sighed "I didn't expect this, give me a moment."

"Take as much as you need." You replied, stroking his shoulders. "You feel wonderful. You fill me completely."

After a short moment, his hips moved. He pulled out a little and pushed, as if to see if he could hold out. You pulled your legs up, and he tightened his grip on your thigh, then lifted his head and looked straight into your eyes. You didn't need words.

Joel's movements were steady, aimed straight at that spot he found inside you, that made you fall apart under his hands. He wanted to see it again, he wanted to feel you clenching around his cock now. Your panting mixed with the dirty sounds of skin slapping against skin, with how wet you were as he entered you at that steady pace.

You pulled his face to yours, kissing him hard. A hot tongue slipped between your lips and you moaned, but he silenced you well. He hit you harder, the air flew out of your lungs. Again and again. 

You woke up everything in him, between your thighs he could find fulfillment and redemption, he wanted it all, and you gave it to him with pleasure.

Another orgasm was building inside you incredibly fast.

"Joel..." you moaned.

He rested his arms on either side of you and didn't slow down. His eyes were black as night, he wanted to see you lose yourself in him again. He needed it.

"Give it to me again, baby. Don't hold back." he panted.

You didn't have a chance to answer. Another wave flooded your body and all your senses. Your eyes rolled back, you almost bit your lip. Joel didn't slow down, even though he was already close to the edge.

"Fuck!' he groaned loudly and pulled out of you.

His seed spurted onto your lower abdomen in hot streams. Although he was breathing deeply, he felt like he was constantly out of breath. He squeezed his eyelids shut trying to calm down. Only your delicate hand, which rested on his cheek, brought him back to life.

"Shit, baby..." he mumbled "I'll clean it up right away. I didn't think that... That was..."

You lifted yourself up and kissed him, and Joel returned the kiss with pleasure. You felt the smile that appeared on his lips and you smiled to yourself. 

This was it. This was the guy who was always there for you, who always gave you his arm as support, who shielded you with his body, who was there for you. He was everything.

His heart gave a strange throb when, going downstairs, he heard familiar chatter in the kitchen. Ellie was delighted with something and was telling you about something, and the pleasant smell of breakfast and coffee filled the house.

His clean shirt clung to his still damp body, and his hair was still wet, even though he had combed it back. When he woke up next to you in the morning, he couldn't help himself. You were still a bit sleepy when he slid into you, but you welcomed him with pleasure. 

It was slow, tender and gentle. He imagined mornings like this when he allowed his thoughts to be carefree for a moment. After everything, he pulled you into the shower, where his hands shamelessly explored your body. He didn't know the words to describe what he felt.

When he went down to the kitchen, Ellie's gaze immediately landed on him. A victorious smile appeared on her face.

"I see the evening was a success." she said, and seeing Joel frowned, she quickly added "Can you still do these things, old man?" 

You barely managed to stop yourself from bursting out laughing and were glad that you were standing with your back to Joel, making him coffee. Ellie was probably going to give him hell.

"That's none of your business, kid." Joel grumbled.

"I hope you're wrapping yourself up, because I'm not going to babysit your kids." she added. "You have to be a fucking responsible adult, Joel."

"Can you... Fuck!"

You quickly turned around and put the cup of coffee in front of him, giving him a gentle smile. Ellie looked at both of you and shook her head.

"I think I'll go now." she said, standing up and putting the last piece of toast in her mouth. "The atmosphere is getting stuffy."

"It's not getting stuffy at all." Joel replied, but she was already putting on her jacket.

"Wrap yourself up!"

"Ellie!"

The girl smiled at him widely, seeing that she hit all the soft spots and quickly gathered her things. Soon the front door slammed and her footsteps echoed on the porch.

"Don't be mad at her, she loves to tease you." you said seeing Joel roll his eyes "She was happy to see me here this morning."

"The house was empty without you, she wasn't the only one who missed your presence."

He walked up to you, his hands resting on your waist. You were wearing some of your old clothes and he wished it was yesterday's dress. You looked so good in it.

"I'm glad you stayed," he said.

"Me too." you replied stroking his cheek, he kissed the inside of your wrist tenderly and you smiled "Are you hungry? I made breakfast."

"Come back here." Joel interrupted you, a small wrinkle appearing between your eyebrows "Move back here. I don't want another morning without you, it was torture."

"Joel..." your lips lightly brushed his "Are you sure? Maybe we shouldn't..."

"I'm fucking sure. Listen, I've wasted a lot of time. I don't want to do this anymore. When you left..." he sighed as if he remembered something really bad "It wasn't just this house that was empty, you know."

"I felt the same way. I was hurt, but I couldn't stop thinking about you or Ellie. You're all I have."

"So come back to us. To me. Please..."

Your smile was the answer he needed. He leaned in, kissing you hard. That day, he felt like he was finally alive.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi

[emmkayyy03]

✨ How Your Dominant Planet Secretly Shapes Your Teenage Brain ✨

Have you ever looked back at your late teens and wondered why you were so obsessed with certain things? Like, one friend was glued to their guitar and poetry journals, another was training for their fifth marathon, and you? You were probably neck-deep in your thing. Here’s the deal: your dominant planet was pulling the strings behind the scenes, shaping how your mind worked and what you gravitated toward without you even realizing it.

Let’s break it down:

🌞 SUN Dominant: "I need to shine—what’s the point otherwise?" Late teens for Sun-kissed folks are like a personal hero’s journey. You’re obsessed with figuring out who you are. Your brain’s constantly asking, Am I good enough? Do people see my worth? You might’ve been the captain of the debate team, the drama club star, or just that person who somehow made walking to the cafeteria look like a runway. How your mind works: Everything feels like a stage, and you want to perform your best—even in front of yourself. You seek validation, yes, but deep down, it’s about finding your inner confidence.

🌙 MOON Dominant: "I feel… everything. Is that normal?" For Moon folks, the late teens are an emotional hurricane. You’re all about understanding feelings, whether it’s yours or everyone else’s. You probably overthink texts (why’d they only reply with “k”?), cry over movies you’ve seen a million times, and have deep, borderline-therapeutic convos with your bestie. How your mind works: You process the world emotionally first, logically second. You’re learning how to handle your empathy without drowning in it.

🔥 MARS Dominant: "Let’s go! But… where are we going?" Mars kids are powered by action and passion, and your late teens are when you’re learning to channel that fire. Your brain thrives on challenges, so you probably signed up for every sport, pushed yourself in the gym, or got way too into proving someone wrong in an argument. Impulse control? We’ll work on that later. How your mind works: You process through doing. Sitting around theorizing makes you twitchy. You need action, even if it’s messy. Picking fights on the basketball court because the ref made a bad call, then realizing you’re actually just mad your crush didn’t text you back.

💬 MERCURY Dominant: "Wait, how does that work? Tell me everything!" Mercury-dominant teens are curiosity machines. Your brain’s like a search engine that never stops running. You want to know why, how, who, and what if. You’re that kid who can’t let a fun fact go without looking it up. Debates? Bring ’em on. Trivia? Your jam. Group chats? You run them. How your mind works: You connect ideas at lightning speed. Learning isn’t just a necessity; it’s your love language. Staying up until 3 a.m. watching YouTube videos about conspiracy theories, then showing up to school explaining why aliens totally built the pyramids.

💎 VENUS Dominant: "Why settle for okay when life can be beautiful?" Your late teens are a crash course in pleasure, relationships, and aesthetics. You’re probably experimenting with your style (cue questionable fashion phases), figuring out love (hello, hopeless romantic), or diving into art and music. Life needs to feel good, or it’s just not worth it. How your mind works: You’re tuned to beauty and connection. Your decisions are emotional but driven by desire—whether it’s for love, art, or the perfect selfie.Spending an hour perfecting your eyeliner just to go to the grocery store because what if you meet someone cute?

🌍 SATURN Dominant: "I’m too busy for nonsense." While your friends are out making impulsive mistakes, you’re busy building your future. Saturn-dominant teens have an old-soul vibe. You’re focused on responsibility, probably working a part-time job while juggling school and worrying about saving for college. Fun? Sure, but only if it’s productive. How your mind works: You crave structure and long-term success. While others wing it, you plan 10 steps ahead. Skipping a party to study for finals because failing isn’t an option—not because of pressure, but because you expect better from yourself.

🚀 RAHU Dominant: "What’s the wildest thing I can do right now?" Rahu teens are like explorers charting unknown territory. You’re obsessed with breaking rules, chasing thrills, and doing the forbidden. If it’s edgy, you’re into it. You’re the one sneaking out, dyeing your hair neon green, or trying things that make adults nervous. How your mind works: You’re wired to seek more. More excitement, more knowledge, more of life’s extremes. Going on a spontaneous road trip with friends, breaking the rules, or getting into something your parents wouldn’t approve of—just because it felt like the next big adventure.

🌌 KETU Dominant: "I’m here, but also not really here." Ketu teens are all about spiritual detachment. You’re introspective, reflective, and a bit aloof. While everyone else is chasing their dreams, you’re figuring out why dreams matter at all. Meditation, tarot, or even just staring at the stars for hours—you’re vibing on a higher plane. How your mind works: You reject surface-level stuff, diving into the depths of existence. But you also need to learn to be present. Skipping out on big social events to sit at a park by yourself, journaling about the mysteries of life, or getting into spiritual practices like meditation because they felt more authentic than anything else.

🚀 JUPITER Dominant: "Knowledge is freedom, and I’m going after it!" Jupiter-dominant teens are all about growth, knowledge, and the bigger picture. Your late teens were likely filled with plans for the future, exploring new ideas, and constantly looking for ways to improve. You may have been the one always talking about your next big trip, your dream career, or the philosophies that shaped your world view. How your mind works: You crave expansion and understanding. Learning is your path to freedom. Deep-diving into a topic you just discovered, researching potential career paths, or discussing ideas about travel, culture, and self-improvement with anyone who would listen. Your teenage years were wild, weren’t they? Which planet had your brain on lock? Reblog with your planetary dominant and let’s compare chaotic late-teen stories. 🌠

[valtsv]

sorry if this has been asked before, but are there any pieces of media that have shaped your conception of angels?

a formative one for me was his dark materials, when it described angels as only appearing in the form of winged humanoids because it was what was expected of them, and claimed that their true forms actually resembled architecture/"huge structures composed of intelligence and feeling" - i could never hope to draw the mental images that gave me, but it influenced my comparisons of pylon towers to angels, which are the closest reference i can give to the towering skeletal chain-like structures of light and matter that i imagined angels to be. it was also what first made me question the nature of angels, and begin to see them as something other than simply people with wings and halos who sang and/or fought for god - though i do have a weakness for angels imitating humanity, desiring and envying their free will and the unscripted lives it grants them, and in doing so becoming a little more human and a little less divine themselves, and falling in a metaphorical rather than literal, physical sense (which, to an angel, being an entity made of pure symbolism, is essentially the same thing, and can kill them just as surely as a sword).

kill six billion demons' angels are very inspirational to me; their naming system based on which reincarnation of itself the angel is makes me clap my hands with delight - particularly 6 juggernaut star, whose name belies how long she has endured through endless cycles, unable to break the wheel herself, and become entrenched in her own despair-driven futile rage as a result. and of course i'm a huge fan of 82 white chain's character arc involving an allegory for transition (specifically coming out as transfem) that also actually culminates in her transitioning (again, the symbolic and the literal go hand in hand with angels).

theres also this YA book called 'angel' by cliff mcnish that i read when i was like. eight? nine? i remember very little of it, and don't think it would hold up at all if i reread it now, but i do recall that one of the guardian angels in it died while saving one of their wards in a car wreck. the idea of angels as something that can be hurt and destroyed, that could be created to suffer and die, that could feel pain and experience grief, and potentially be imbued with supressed self-preservation instincts to serve their purpose, really flipped a switch in my brain.

[yeoobiii]

hello, can I ask you to write a mini story about Heeseung, where he teaches Y/n how to kiss 🙏🏻

⋆｡°✩ 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙

꩜ bestfriend!heeseung x gn!reader

꩜ best friends to lovers (?), first kisses

꩜ during a game of truth or dare you admit to all your friends for the first time that you've never been kissed and that you're frankly scared you'll mess up once the situation presents itself. Heeseung sees a perfect opportinity to help you out with that.

or: Heeseung teaches his best friend how to kiss and both of you get a bit lost in it

wc: 5.1k (this has gotten a bit longer than I intended to but honestly I just went with the flow and here we are.)

warnings: consumption of alcohol

a/n: thank you for the request, anon! btw requests are open if you'd like me to write something specific, I can't promise you anything on how quickly I'll get it done or if it's something I'm up to writing but like the link is in my bio :)

I hope you like this, anon!

There’s a few things none of your college friends knew about you. Despite knowing most of them for over three years now, some things just never came up naturally in conversation. Like the fact that you’ve not had your first kiss yet.

Why make a big deal out of it? You’ve also never been in love before. You didn’t feel the urge to inform everyone about these things, especially since most of your friends have a rather active dating life. You wanted to do these things at your own pace and didn’t want anyone involved in how you could “solve that problem”. You simply never intended on telling them. That is until last weekend happened and somehow your roommates were able to convince you to participate in a game of truth or dare.

It was a Thursday night and your roommate told you that they were having a few friends over for a cozy hang out and you were definitely down to chill with them because the both of you were friends with similar people and got along great in general, so having a few drinks with your friends in your dorm room seemed like a nice way to spend the evening.

And everything went smoothly enough, people were trickling in and out, the overall vibe very casual and comfortable. That is however until your friend Sofia suggested a game of truth or dare. To be fair, the overall intake of alcohol increased as the evening was progressing. It was almost inevitable that a suggestion like that would arouse sooner or later.

Before you even properly thought about it, you agreed to play and sat down in a circle with around five other tipsy college students.

Only later on did your brain register that Heeseung was one of the few chosen ones. For a split second you even wondered when he had arrived, but then you remembered that he greeted you with a friendly embrace when he first arrived about half an hour ago.

Technically, there was nothing wrong with him participating in the same game, the both of you were friends after all.

You met Heeseung pretty much the first day college started, you were both in stats together and happened to be sitting next to each other on the first day and it’s been like that ever since. However, you guys didn’t hit it off right away, you were friendly with each other, sure, but that mostly also out of convenience and occasionally you shared your notes with each other or he was making sure you didn’t fall asleep in class. It was all really casual and you would have considered him more like a colleague than a friend.

That was the case until one particular night that was destined to shape the kind of friendship the two of you would have with each other forever.

It was one of your first frat parties, the first semester was about to end and freshmen with various kinds of majors gathered to celebrate this collective milestone. Safe to say the liquor was being poured without much hesitation.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve run into Heeseung at a frat party either. Usually you’d shoot each other the occasional nod, acknowledging the other’s presence and moving on with your night and that’s all there was to it.

However, fate had other plans for this particular night.

At one point you excused yourself from the dance floor and went out the back door into the small garden to catch some fresh air, to your surprise not many people were out there, just you and a small group of three people maybe, who seemed to be passing around a blunt.

It took you a second glance to not only see your roommate but also Heeseung being part of that group, your roommate immediately greeting you enthusiastically upon locking eyes with you and beckoning for you to sit with them.

Shortly after you were sitting on your ass, your roommate's arm interlocked with yours, being pulled into the conversation easily.

Heeseung sent a brief smile of acknowledgement your way, before taking a hit from the joint. You returned his smile and also greeted the fourth person sitting with you who was eventually introduced as Heeseung’s friend Jake.

The joint was being passed around and eventually landed in your hand as well and afterwards the conversation seemed to flow effortlessly. You joked and laughed along to whatever your company was saying but were also emerged in the more heated discussions.

At one point you were so deep into the conversation with Jake that you didn’t even realize your roommate getting up and going back inside and like ten minutes later, Jakes excused himself to the bathroom and didn’t seem to return anymore.

Which only left Heeseung and you.

Now, you’d be lying if you’d say being in such close proximity with a cute guy like Heeseung, all by yourselves in this somewhat intimate setting left you completely unaffected. You could feel yourself growing slightly flustered at nothing in particular, but you eventually catched yourself when Heeseung asked.

“So, what’s your favorite dinosaur?”

You fell into comfortable conversation after that and the longer the night went on, the more intense the topics got.

Whenever you think back to that one particular part of the evening it kinda feels like Heeseung and you were the only two things existing at the moment. Your brain didn’t register the people stepping in and out of the garden as the hours passed by. 

It was well past 3am when you checked your phone for the time since sitting down. You told Heeseung and he was just as shocked as you were at how quickly the time had passed, almost apologizing for taking up so much of your time, but you assured him you were enjoying yourself.

“It has been a while since I sat down like that and was able to talk to someone for hours about whatever popped into my head.” You admitted to him and he seemed satisfied with that judging by the smile that graced his lips.

“Me too.”

And you could swear by the way his eyes shimmered in that moment that there was something – whatever that may have been – between the both of you. Or maybe it was just the weed.

Regardless of what you guys shared was something different than what you thought it might have been, you grew close very quickly after that evening. Heeseung started to joke around with you in class, you eventually asked him for his number and social media, he started sending you memes occasionally, you started to hang out outside of class in your little friend group.

At one point you were convinced he was actively seeking you out at parties, because ever since that evening, you always bumped into each other sooner or later during the night.

And whatever there might have been that one evening, nothing came of it. However, it almost seemed like you grew closer to Heeseung than all your other friends. People in your friend group would casually call you best friends and the more time passed the more that statement became true.

All occurrences in the past have led you to playing truth or dare on a Thursday night on the floor of your dorm room with each other. And usually that wouldn’t be an issue. Heeseung and you have progressed to a stage in your friendship where you knew almost everything about each other; almost.

You could feel the alcohol running in your system and were sincerely hoping you wouldn’t say something that you’d eventually regret. You just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best.

For the most part the game did run smoothly, it was fun and you had a good time, the only dare you had to do was show them your most embarrassing dance move.

That is until your roommate asked you truth or dare.

“Truth” you chose this time

“What was your first kiss like and who was it with?”

The question in and of itself was harmless, it matched the vibe of the very easy going game they had going on, Nonetheless, you felt put on the spot and before you could stop yourself – because you can’t pull off a lie for the life of you – you blurt out that you’ve never been kissed.

None of your friends seemed super unfazed by this seeing how you’ve not dated one person since you started college but Sofia’s eyes grew double in size.

“Not even a peck on the lips or something?” she questioned a bit bewildered.

You just shook your head, seeing from the corner of your eye how your roommate gave Sofia a light nudge at even asking such a question.

You couldn’t help but risk a short glance at Heeseung and were almost a bit startled when his eyes met yours instantly. He sent you a soft smile upon locking eyes with you. Was that pity you saw in his eyes? Your stomach turned itself upside down.

You really wish you could say it didn’t bother you at all, that at the age of 21 you’ve never kissed someone before. You didn’t want it to be a big deal, it really shouldn’t be a big deal.

But you couldn’t help but think that you lacked something or were one step behind everyone. It felt like missing out on an experience that usually people have in their late teens and early twenties.

You don’t know why it hasn’t happened for you yet. It’s not even that you want it to be with someone really special, the moment has simply never presented itself before and you usually take this for what it is, but right now – Heeseung’s expression burned into your skull – you suddenly feel a bit small.

“It’s not just that” you eventually start to break the silence, not yet realizing that you were about to make this so much worse, “it’s also the fact that even if I’d want to kiss someone, I wouldn’t know how.”

It took your drunken mind a hot minute to catch up with what you just said. Something within you simply wanted to fill the silence but the fact that your filter was basically non-existent due to your tipsy state was not taken into consideration the moment you opened your mouth.

You mentally slapped yourself across the face, this time not having the courage to even glance into Heeseung’s direction.

“It’s not that hard, I can show you!” Your roommate offered enthusiastically, intentions pure.

Your face flushed at the suggestion and you cringed a bit, more out of embarrassment that you ended up in this situation in the first place than by the proposal itself.

“I’ll let you know if I ever want to take you up on that suggestion.” You reply as nonchalantly as you can muster.

It’s not like the thought of asking a friend how to properly kiss has occurred to you before, but you could never quite bring yourself to get the request past your lips.

Your friends laugh at your response and easily move on with the conversation, taking the attention off of you. And that was that. Or at least that’s what you thought…

Two weeks later you enter the lecture hall and already spot Heeseung sitting in his usual spot and just like on autopilot you placed yourself next to him and the both of you exchanged greetings, just like you usually would. You’d also catch up about your weekends and shortly after the lecture started, taking up both of your attention.

It wasn’t until halfway through the lecture that Heeseung poked your shoulder, extending his notebook to you, clearly wanting to show you something.

With blue ink he has written on the page:

“You want me to teach you?”

Your eyebrows furrow, confused at what he meant.

You write down below him:

“Teach me what?” Confusion clear on your face as you watch him write something else.

“How to kiss”

You choked on your own spit.

Heeseung chuckled next to you. You could smack him across the head right now and you made a mental note to do just that once class is over.

Once you collected yourself, you took the pen from Heeseung and wrote three question marks under his proposal.

Why would he offer to teach you in the first place and out of all the places to suggest this to you he chose the middle of your lecture? Why?

He grinned at your question marks and if you didn’t know him any better you thought he was making fun of you. Had any other person done this to you, you’d probably actually have been hurt but first of all you still didn’t know if he was serious and second of all it was Heeseung. You knew him well enough to know he’d never use such a situation to make fun of you.

At that moment the professor seemed to notice your lack of attention and decided to ask you a question directly, returning your attention to the lecture where it stayed until you were dismissed.

The topic didn’t arise again between Heeseung and you even though the whole scenario didn’t seem to be able to leave your mind. At lunch you stared at Heesung making conversation with Jake over something you did not pay attention to, trying to figure him out.

In your head the puzzle pieces were just not fitting. Why would he suggest that all of a sudden? And why was it so hard for you to find an answer to his question…

After the whole frat party thing where you originally became friends, you had developed a small crush on Heeseung that gradually developed as time went by. It’s just after some time had passed and neither of you made any advances towards the other you eventually abandoned the idea of getting with Heeseung and were left with two options, getting over your crush or having to live with your unrequited feelings.

You chose the first option. It took you quite some time but you managed to accept the fact that Heeseung was simply a really good friend and your feelings faded as seasons changed.

You’d be lying saying they ever went away completely. There’s no reason denying that Heeseung was painfully your type and that no matter how hard you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t like him like that anymore, you were attracted to him.

So, saying his suggestion to teach you how to kiss took you by surprise was the understatement of the century.

He probably just tried to be a good friend, right? Your roommate had suggested to teach you as well back then and there were no other intentions behind that, you were certain of that. So, why are you questioning Heeseung so much?

The topic didn’t come up again until one day you were hanging out in your dorm room. Just your roommate, Heeseung and yourself. It was often like that, sometimes Jake was also around but today it was just the three of you, that is at least until your roommate told you that they were heading out for dinner at around six and didn’t know when they’d be back.

Once they left, it was just Heeseung and you left.

Ever since he made his suggestion in class, you dreaded being alone with him, because you didn’t know if the topic would come up again or if you even wanted it to.

Heeseung was lying on your bed, his feet resting on your lap, while you were sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the wall. Heeseung was scrolling through his phone when you decided to address the elephant in the room, because you figured if he wasn’t the one to bring it up, why shouldn’t you?

“Were you serious?” you simply said, not in any particular tone, just wanting to clear the haze in your head.

“Do you mean about the kissing thing?” He said without looking away from his face. The fact that he instantly knew what you were talking about indicated enough that he was aware it’s been eating at you.

You nod.

He locked his phone and threw it to the side, moving to sit up and also lean his back against the wall so that he can face you.

“I was and I still am.” He said, no trace of irony to be found.

“Why?” You couldn’t help but ask.

He shrugged his shoulders, “It seemed like it bothered you that day. You know, when you told everyone how you’re scared you’d mess up if it comes down to the real thing?”

He teased at you being so open due to liquid courage, a small smile forming on his face as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I was put on the spot and that was the only thing my brain provided at the moment to fill the silence.” You whine more frustrated with yourself than anyone else.

“So, you’re not worried about that?” He asked in return.

It was silent for a moment as you contemplated his question. You could easily dig yourself a way out of this by denying it, convincing him it was mainly the liquor talking. But you and Heeseung were never really the type to lie to each other.

“I am” you eventually admit, not meeting his eyes “I don’t know… It’s a bit silly but like I don’t know anyone my age who hasn’t been kissed before and I feel like it’s gonna be really awkward if the situation arises and I chicken out because I have no idea how to actually kiss someone.”

Heeseung listened to you and took your words in before answering.

“But you know, most first kisses are kinda awkward, I think.”

“Was your first kiss weird at all?” You asked him.

“Yeah, very.” He chuckled, sitting up more on the bed, “it was kinda too much of everything, too much teeth, too much spit, just entirely too much.”

He shuddered a bit, recollecting his first kiss.

“See? And I’d have no idea about any of that.” You said almost a bit frustrated.

“Then let me show you.” He insisted, your eyes meeting.

The way he says it so casually makes you want to rip your hair out.

“It’s just a kiss, right? And it’s me! You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.” He said, eyebrows slightly raised, trying to ease your mind.

You look at him. He looks cozy in his oversized sweatshirt, his body language his usual relaxed self. It was still a bit fascinating how he could take this all so lightly but then again, it really was just a kiss for him.

And you know you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t kiss Heeseung. In fact, your head is screaming at you not to kiss him, because the risk of buried feelings resurfacing is simply too big. But you’d also be lying to yourself if you’d say you weren’t curious what his lips would feel like against yours and it were thoughts like this that’d mean certain doom for you sooner or later.

At your silence Heeseung added “Look, there’s really no pressure at all. I just thought maybe you’d like to know a few things that will help ease your mind, but of course you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

And of course he would say that. Of course he’d go out of his way to reassure you that you’re safe with him and that he respected your choice no matter what. Maybe sharing your first kiss with Heeseung wasn’t that bad of an idea after all. At least like that you could make sure it’s someone who respects you and your boundaries, someone who makes sure you feel safe and comfortable no matter what.

Maybe you could allow yourself this. Maybe having this as the memory of your first kiss wasn’t too bad.

“Like, right now?” You asked, which seemed to surprise Heeseung a little. He must have been convinced you’d turn him down.

“I mean, whenever is fine.” He responded suddenly you could see his cool demeanor crack, spotting a few hints of nervousness behind the cracks.

“I think, I’d be down.” You eventually say after contemplating for another minute.

“Really?” Heeseung’s eyebrows were almost at his hairline.

“Lee Heeseung, if you tell me right now that all of this has been a sick joke of yours after all, I’m ending this friendship right now.”

Panic flashed in his eyes.

“No! No, of course not. I was being serious. I just didn’t think…. I didn’t think you’d agree.” he admitted.

“So, how does this work?” you ask, not knowing where to even start.

“Oh, so you really want to do it right now, I see.” Heeseung mumbled more to himself than anyone in particular.

He scooted slightly closer to you.

“Well, first we gotta get closer.” He moves to sit next to you on the bed, shoulders touching.

You watch him, fascinated at how quickly his shyness has been replaced by his cool, nonchalant demeanours once again.

Heeseung and you have cuddled on more than one occasion before, but this feels different, you’re hyper aware of the place where his shoulder is bumping into yours and your tights are touching. This close, you could smell his cologne and shampoo.

“It’s not that complicated really” he starts explaining.

“If you want to just have a small, simple kiss. We’d both tilt our heads slightly as we get closer. Let me show you.”

He turns towards you, his eyes meeting yours. And you could swear there it was again. That shimmer from the first night the both of you actually talked to each other. You push that thought to the back of your head, the indications behind that too overwhelming for what’s about to happen right now.

His hand hovers above your cheek and you nod, allowing him to gently grab you by the jaw and tilt your head into one direction. The distance between his and your face shrinks as he does so, the pace of your heartbeat picking up in the process.

You could feel his breath against your lips as he spoke again.

“This is usually the point most people close their eyes and then you just… kiss.”

You close your eyes and a moment later you felt the sensation of Heeseung’s lips softly pressing against yours. All thoughts seem to leave your head the instant your lips touched, your heart basically beating out of your chest. It took you a moment to actually process the sensation and just as you were about to lose yourself in the feeling, Heeseung pulled back slightly.

“You know, this is the part where you kiss me back.” He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine and maybe it was all in your head but you could swear his voice sounded different then just a second ago; a bit deeper, maybe even a bit flustered.

“My bad” you said, making Heeseung throw his head back with laughter, making you giggle as well.

It eases your anxiety a bit that even in stations like this, you were able to just laugh with him and easing the tension so easily.

“No worries” he laughed “Wanna try again?”

Again?

What did he mean again? Wasn’t that it?

Despite yourself, you nod.

“Okay, this time make sure to reciprocate the pressure I put against your lips, got it?”

“Got it” you kept your replies fairly short, afraid your voice would fail you otherwise.

Before you knew it, Heeseung was leaning in again.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

You close your eyes and soon after you feel the now familiar pressure of his lips again, this time making sure to kiss him back. Without thinking about it, your hand found its way onto Heeseung’s neck, where your fingers absentmindedly played with hair as you were kissing him.

This kiss lasted longer than the first one, you could feel Heeseung moving against you and followed his lead. It was easier to flow into the rhythm than you’d have thought, his lips soft and gentle against yours.

You were starting to feel lightheaded as he pulled away again and you had to resist the urge to chase after his lips.

“That was pretty good” he said, slightly out of breath, his pupils slightly dilated, his gaze fixed on your lips before he looked up at you.

“Also the thing you did with your hand, it seems like you’re a natural.” He chucked.

That’s when you saw your hand still resting against his neck, you instantly pulled it away once your brain caught up to what he was saying.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize…”

For a second there was a silence between the both of you; a silence that wasn’t quiet at all. You couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of him and neither could he. You could probably cut the tension with a knife.

“And what if… what if I’d want it to get more intense, you know?”

Heeseung’s eyebrows shot up.

“More intense?” He said, knowing very well what you were implying.

“I get how just kissing someone on the lips like that might not be that hard but what if– what if it goes further?”

Heeseung cleared his throat at your words and sat up straighter.

“You mean, if you would want to deepen the kiss?” He inquired.

You just nod, looking up at him, not failing to notice the light blush that’s starting to form on his cheeks, matching your own flusteredness.

“You want me to show you as well?”

You nod. Something about how his lips feel against yours was addictive, making you throw all your previous reservations out of the window.

“It’s kinda hard to explain though. I’d just have to show you?” He said, a bit unsure.

“That’s okay.”

“Okay so, basically you start with a kiss just like we shared before. You’ll just have to let me lead, okay?”

Something about the way he said that sent a shiver down your spine, words refusing to leave your mouth so you just nod.

Soon enough, his lips were on yours again and even though you were only separated for a few minutes, you already started to miss the sensation and the tingle it made you feel in your stomach and chest. Naturally, your hand found its way back into his hair.

Suddenly, you felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip and your heart took a leap. Instinctively, you opened your mouth for him. A few moments pass and he starts licking gently into your mouth.

You actively have to suppress sounds that were starting to build in the back of your throat at the sensation.

You could also feel one of his hands pressing against your waist while the other one was busy cupping your cheek.

Without much thinking you pressed forward, wanting to match his eagerness, which led to your teeth clinking against each other to which Heeseung pulled back slightly, chuckling.

“Take it slow, yeah?” He said, his face still incredibly close to yours.

As you nod at his remark he dives back in, taking you by surprise a bit. You were welcoming the touch of lips nonetheless.

This time you tried to dial down your eagerness and gently let his tongue guide yours, your insides turning into mush in the process.

Without thinking you slightly pulled at his hair, making him hum against your lips. 

He must like that? you think to yourself. 

Your stomach did a 360 at the thought of stirring him on further.

At this point your tongues were dancing with each other gently, no trance of any kind of hesitation left, the feeling leaving your head dizzy and your heart fluttering.

The way Heeseung kept pulling you in by your jaw and how his grip on your hip was getting tighter.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.” He suddenly blurts out in between kisses and if you wouldn’t be so lost in the feeling of his lips on yours you’d stop to question his statement, but right now your heart simply leaped in your chest.

Overcome by a sudden wave of braveness, you swung one of your legs across his lap, straddling him. Heeseung looked at you starstruck, his hands instantly finding their way to your hips caressing them.

You took the time to look at him for a moment, his pupils were practically blown out and he looked so pretty with kiss swollen lips, glistering with both of your spit.

This was the first time you initiated the kiss, he easily reciprocated.

The kisses were sometimes still a bit sloppy but neither you nor Heeseung seemed to care, too lost in the feeling of each other’s bodies pressed against each other.

His hands were traveling up your sides and down your tights again and you were drowning in this feeling, of his hands touching you; exploring you. Soon enough, him trying to teach you how to kiss turned into a full on make out session.

That was until your roommate burst into the room without any announcement, making you jump off of Heeseung in an instant, cursing your body for immediately missing his closeness.

You both looked guilty and flustered as your roommate looked the both of you up and down.

“My bad, I’m just here to grab my charger. Continue with what you’ve been doing. It was only a matter of time until this happened anyway.”

They said and were gone as quickly as they had arrived.

You and Heeseung looked at each other for a second. Both of you burst into laughter shortly after.

“I think at some point we should really have a conversation about what exactly this is between us.” He gestured between the both of you after recovering from the sudden interruption.

And you were glad he brought it up because you think your heart would have been shattered into a hundred pieces if this didn’t have the same effect on him as it had on you; making your stomach flutter, turning your insides into mush, craving more.

“Better sooner than later, right?” you smile at him, hope filling your heart.

feel free to let me know your thoughts <3

[moody-alcoholic]

On a Wing and a Prayer

Part 8 - There's Two Types of Trauma

CW: Angst, medical stuff, descriptions of wounds, descriptions of medical procedures.

Disclaimer: not real medical advice this is all fake and fantasy. #itsamedicaldrama

It's a long one strap in.

Previous parts - masterlist - next

The doors fly open, you’re on the gurney in a second.

It’s strange seeing Simon with his mask off in his uniform. You’ve only even seen it a few times, when he would come home late pulling his mask off over his head with dark paint still around his eyes. This time his eyes are closed, the mask is sitting on the top of his head hiding his gold locks. His face is splattered with blood, his skin pale.

Fuck, you have to save him. There’s no way you’re letting him die. You look over at one of the nurses pressing on the bandages on his wound. That's a lot of blood. Focus! Your brain shouts at you. 

“What happened!?” You ask turning to John, who’s following behind you.

“We were ambushed. Barely got out in time.” They’re in the room now, the nurses get into position to move him from the gurney onto a bed. You quickly look over at him, he’s walking and talking. You can focus on him later.

“On my count.” you say to the nurses helping them move him over. Your heart is pounding in your chest. The nurses are cutting his clothes off as you take your stethoscope off to listen to his chest. 

“Let’s get a central line in, call radiology and page the doctor again.” You say as you move round to his head. His breathing is ragged, he has a collapsed lung for sure. 

“How long ago was he shot?” You ask, trying to keep your voice steady. You can’t lose him, you won't lose him. You’re lucky for the adrenaline keeping your head clear. 

They always say you should never work on family.

“About 30 minutes. It was quicker to drive than wait for medevac.” Johnny says as he comes into the room, you can see the pain on his face, hear the shake in his voice. You look over at the monitors he’s now hooked up to. His BP is low, his pulse is rapid.  

You need to intubate,  you need blood, you want a clearer picture of the lungs. The wound on the chest is pretty central; they could have hit his heart, it could be too late already. 

Focus, your brain screams at you. CABC then chest tube. Control the bleeding. The nurses and other medics are already working on it, pulling out old bandages out, pressing new gauze in. They’re calling out drugs as they push them; TxA, morphine, anti-nausea. You’re in charge here, the doctor is on another base. People are looking to you for direction.

“Where’s the doctor?” You ask, his airway is clear, that's a good sign. You need to intubate pulling the crash cart over. 

“He’s in surgery, they're asking if you want to leave a message?” The orderly calls. 

“X-ray’s here.” Another nurse says. People move so the tech can get in the room. 

“Tell him it’s an emergency!” She raises her eyebrow. “Just tell him to come.” You move back as they take the x-ray. 

“Shit.” A nurse says. That’s not good. His right lung is collapsed, you look down at the wounds in his chest. He was wearing a vest, these wounds are big. 

“What was he hit with?” You ask looking back at John. 

“Sniper.” 

“Okay we need blood, set up the rapid infuser. Oh-neg.” You say moving over to his head. 

“A positive.” John says, you look up at him. He’s covered in blood, it's the first time you’re getting a proper look at him. 

“Okay, A positive, keep the oh-neg on standby.” You say before the person you’re talking to runs off. 

“Set up a chest tube tray. I’m going to intubate.” You say watching them get into poison as you tip his head back. It makes you feel sick seeing him like this. Something twists in your stomach as you hold his head ready to shove a tube down his throat. This is all your fault. If you had been with him maybe he wouldn’t have been in such bad shape. 

The nurse calls it out as she pushes the drugs, you hold your breath pushing the tube down his throat.

If you had been with them maybe this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. You could have intubated in the field, put in a chest tube. The doctor would be here instead of you. Now there’s no trauma surgeon here. You connect the tube up to the auto pump before listening to his chest again. One job done, now you need to get a chest tube in. 

“The doctor wants to talk to you.” An orderly walks over pressing a phone to your ear. You walk to the side of Simon’s body.

“You can handle this right? What are you working with?” The doctor asks over the phone.

“GSW to the chest, pneumothorax.” You look back up at the x-ray. “Scans don’t look good sir.” 

“I’m going to be out here for a while. The nearest trauma surgeon is at least a few hours away by car.” He sighs.

“What about the chopper?” 

“No. It’s the only one servicing this region. It has to stay on the base.” 

“Sir, he’s not good.” You say trying to plead with him, you watch as the nurses are pushing more bandages into his stomach, the wound wasn’t as high up as you thought. The bleeding seems to have slowed. 

“You can keep him stable until the trauma surgeon or I can get there.” He says. It’s like someone has just told you the worst news of your life. 

"He’ll die.” You say, you look up at John who has now been joined by Kyle.

“He won't, you’ll keep him alive.” The doctor says. He hangs up and you nod at the orderly to take the phone away from your ear. You turn around for a second. You can’t cry, not in front of your team. You bring the back of your hand up to your lips. You squeeze your eyes. Keep it together! You shout at yourself. You can smell the blood on your glove.

You will save him, no matter what it takes. 

“Price.” You call letting the nurse put a gown on you so you can get a chest tube in. “There’s a trauma surgeon on a base 2 hours away from here. It could take him longer than that to get here.” You look over at him before picking up the scalpel. “There’s a chopper on the roof, would take you half an hour max.” 

“Is he going to make it?” He asks. 

“Not if you don’t get that chopper off the ground and get me a trauma surgeon.” 

“The doctor said the bird has to stay.” Your head snaps to a soldier standing in the room. 

“Then I might as well stop trying to save him because unless you can get me someone to repair this damage he will die. And I am not letting you kill him!” You turn back to John. “Price go!” 

There’s silence in the room, just the beeping of machines as they spit out less than optimal readings. They need to get this under control. A nurse comes in with the blood snapping everyone out of the moment of silence. 

“Let's start with a liter” You say, she nods and someone goes over to help her. John, Kyle and Johnny have gone up to the soldier who spoke earlier. You focus on the chest tube. You’re holding your breath you only have one shot making sure you get right. When it starts to drain you let out a sigh of relief. 

The x-ray tech steps up and takes another picture. You look back down at him. The position is good, it’s draining. You watch his sats, they’re stable for now, as stable as they can be. 

He's out of the woods for now. 

“Let’s take him down to CT.” You say gesturing at the porters. 

...

It feels like time is moving in slow motion. You’re checking the clock every few seconds, waiting by the phone in the nurses station for any news. The soldier who tried to stop John went with them to ‘supervise’ . It's been almost an hour. You should be hearing back from them soon. 

You walk into the bay, a nurse passes you and you walk over to his bed. He’s breathing, the bleeding is controlled. He needs surgery to repair the damage to his lungs. He could end up in the same position as Johnny, he could be worse. 

You just hope you acted quick enough and did a good job. You look around quickly, you’re alone. You pick his hand up, holding it gently in yours. His touch is familiar, warm, you squeeze it rubbing the back with your thumb. 

“You better not die on me.” You say quietly. You lean down to his face pressing your mouth to his ear. “You better not die, not before I tell you I forgive you. You hear that Simon Riley. I forgive you. So you better wake up so I can see the look on your face.” You turn your head slightly, pressing your lips just next to his ear. 

You stand back up squeezing his hand before wiping the tear that escaped. You don’t get to cry now. You have to work, you can cry later. As you turn you see the doctor and John walk into the room. You let out an audible sigh of relief. The doctor picks up the chart and you bring him the CT scans, while you explain what you’ve done so far. 

“OR 1 is prepped and ready.” You say as you wave the porters over. 

“Good job.” He nods. You smile at him as you watch the nurses move everything onto the bed so he can be wheeled out the room. You look back over at the empty bay. Blood soaked bandages strewn all over the floor. You walk over to where the head of the bed was and pick his mask up off the floor. 

You removed it at some point, it would have had to come off in surgery anyway. You hear steps behind you then a hand lands on your shoulder. You know it’s John you don’t care. You turn, throwing your arms around him. For a second it’s like he doesn’t know what to do standing there. You squeeze him tight, his arms eventually come round you and he hugs you back. 

6 months was a long time to think, a long time to be without them. At first you didn’t want to admit you missed them. You wanted to stay mad at them for so long. You didn’t get in contact with John about the house, instead you pushed yourself further away from Johnny and Kyle. 

That felt even more wrong. You went back to the house hoping that would be closure. It was the opposite, you decided to stop fighting it and let yourself miss them. It was the worst 2 weeks of your life. 

“I’ve missed you.” You breathe into his vest. You’re not sure if he will hear you or not. You don’t care. It just feels right again for the first time in months. You break away from his arms as you hear the cleaners coming into the bay. You look up at him, he’s smiling at you. You hand him Simon’s mask.

“Come on. I’ll show you where we can wait for him.” You say leading him out the room. 

You lead him to the quietest part of the hospital, the OR rooms have only been used a handful of times. Most of the time major trauma’s get sent elsewhere. The sketchy electrics being the main issue. You sit together in silence, the hall is dark, the automatic lights flicking off after a few minutes, low emergency lighting is the only source you have.

It’s a nice place to catch a quick nap when you’re on call. You couldn’t sleep now though. 

“What happened?” You ask eventually, it’s been an hour at least, you’ve honestly stopped keeping track of time. It makes you too nervous.

“It was all fine until we were leaving. Place was abandoned, we assumed we missed them.” He sighs rubbing his chin. “They ambushed us during exfil.” 

“Shit.” You say, shaking your head. “They knew you were coming?” 

“Intel was dodgy, we should have waited, Shepherd insisted we go before they crossed the border.” He lets out a long sigh. You place your hand on his, he’s been fidgeting with the mask since you gave it to him. 

“He’ll make it. He’s a tough son of a bitch. Bullets not going to stop him, didn’t stop Johnny.” You smile. It’s all you can do to put his mind at ease. 

“Sergeant!” A voice bellows down the hall. You turn to look, you see Dr. Sands and some soldiers you’ve never seen before. Lights flick back on as you stand up facing them, before you have time to react there are more soldiers coming in. Something feels wrong. They walk over to you stopping in front of you. You hear John get up behind you. You nod as they ask you to confirm your name.

You must have really pissed someone off. 

“Hand over your phone, your radio and pager.” One of them asks. You swallow the nerves following his order and handing over your things. You’re not sure what’s going to happen, maybe you’re about to be fired. Maybe you did something wrong.

“What’s going on?” John asks. 

“You will have to talk to the General.” Another one soldier says to him. You look past them to see the Doctor standing at the end of the hall, he looks at you sympathetically. 

What the hell is going on? This feels wrong, a pit forms in your stomach. 

“Turn around please.” One of the soldiers asks. You frown.

“No. What's going on? What happened?” You turn to look at John, he seems just as confused.

“Treason.” The soldiers reach for your arms forcing you to turn round. You hear handcuffs then the cold metal against your wrists. 

Fear rises in you. This can’t be happening. No way is this happening. You look up at John who reaches out for you as you’re pulled away. You hear more commotion at the end of the hall. You look to see Johnny pushing past the doctor. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, his eyes flicking between John and you as you’re dragged down to the end of the hall. 

“Treason.” You say, your voice breaks. Ringing starts in your ears. It’s like you can’t breathe. You hear shouting but you don’t know who it is.

“I’m sorry,” you hear the doctor say as you make it through the doors. You’re too stunned to speak, you can beary keep steady as hands grip you tight, fingers digging into your skin. 

Treason? 

It’s happening again. You close your eyes as you make it out of the hospital and across to another building. Maybe it’s all a dream, maybe you’ll wake up and it will all have been a terrible nightmare. You stumble on the hard uneven ground, it forces you to open your eyes again as hands hold you firm. 

Not a dream. Just a living waking nightmare.

You’re pulled into a newer looking place you’ve never been before. Small rooms with thick metal doors, a soldier opens one. You're taken inside. It’s a prison cell. The cuffs are taken off you and you stand there rubbing your wrists. Before you have a chance to turn around you hear the door slam closed.

You black up until you hit the wall, the cold concrete wall, the room still smells of paint. Suddenly the light goes out and you’re left in the dark. You don’t care, you sink down to the floor hugging your knees. 

You don’t know what to think, you don’t know what to do. It’s happening again. 

Your breathing picks up, you're panting into your knees. It's deja vu. it's happening again.

They’re going to break you again.  

______________________

Price doesn’t wait storming into the Generals office without knocking.

“Captain what the hell do you think you’re doing!?” He snaps standing up. 

“You think she’s the mole?” Price snaps at him. 

“Based on the evidence, I have no other option.” He says.

“What evidence?” It’s a long shot, it’s most likely confidential. To his surprise the General hands him a file. Price thumbs through it. It’s the evidence they were shown over 6 months ago. The CCTV, the messages. He flicks through the files to make sure he’s not missed anything new. 

“The images were faked, the texts sent from a burner phone. She’s clean, we caught the guy responsible, we had a mole in Konni confirm everything he said.” Price says throwing the folder back down on the table.

“Our analysts disagree.”

“With the CIA? MI6? Because that’s who cleared her last time.”

“Do you really think it is just a coincidence that she happens to be here, and the mission we've been planning for months suddenly goes wrong? An op the US government has poured tens of thousands of dollars into getting intel for.” The General sighs sitting back down in his chair.

“She has means, she has motive. We have to look at her."

“So instead of finding the actual mole you’re blaming someone innocent.” Price crosses his arms.

“Captain. Right now she is the most likely person. We’re looking into everyone, but we can’t have her running. She’ll remain in custody until Commander Graves gets here.” The General says pulling a file over to him.

“Why is he coming?” 

“Someone needs to lead the interrogation. I would ask you but clearly this is too personal. Commander Graves is already in the region he was more than happy to help.” The General looks up at Price. Price shakes his head. This can’t be happening, not after everything.

“There was a point in time when you thought she was guilty. She was on your team then, you haven't seen her in 6 months. You can get up a lot during that time.”  

“She’s innocent.” Price says trying to keep his voice level. The General’s radio goes off, he turns the volume down, sighing.

“With all due respect, Captain, this is not your base. She is under my command, not yours. I have to investigate her based on the evidence I have and the feedback I have from my analysts.” The General says. Price scoffs, shaking his head. 

“For once you better hope you’re right. You better hope she did it for your sake.” Price says turning to leave the room. 

“Is that a threat Captain, we have plenty more cells to fill.” The General snaps back. 

“If I was threatening you would know.” Price says and leaves the room slamming the door behind him. Gaz is waiting for him outside the door.

“Where’s Soap?” 

“With Ghost, he’s out of surgery. He’s okay, they repaired the damage.” Gaz says. Price sighs and heads out the building with Gaz following him.

“What’s going on? Why do they think it’s her? She was cleared, is there something new?” Price can hear the panic in his voice. 

“No, nothing new, apparently it’s too much of a coincidence. They don’t want to admit this whole mission was one giant fuck up to begin with.” Price says his voice hard as he walks out into the open heading back towards the hospital.

“We should have never moved in this quickly. We should have waited them out, waited until they moved back to Urzikstan.” 

“Shit, she’s a scapegoat, they’re going to pin it on her.” Gaz says stopping in his tracks. 

“Graves is coming to lead the interrogation.” Price says stopping too, turning to look at him. 

“It wouldn’t take much to get her to confess to anything. It’s only been 6 months.” Price hears the break in his voice. “What are we going to do?” 

“I don’t know.” 

next

Banners by firefly-graphics

[pitchsidestories]

make the season bright II Millie Bright x Arsenal!Reader

masterlist | word count: 1023

summary: Millie and reader go shopping for christmas, but the Chelsea defender has a special gift for the Arsenal player in mind.

author's note: dear readers, the oneshot is based on this lovely request, we hope you'll have fun with it.

The shopping centre was full of life so close to Christmas. People hurried from store to store to buy presents and decorations while Christmas songs blared from the speakers. In contrast to your girlfriend, you enjoyed the pre-holiday hustle and bustle. It got you into the Christmas spirit while Millie was just stressed out by it.

Knowing this, you quickly pressed a quick kiss to her cheek: “Love, I’ll be right back. I’m just getting a present for Hempo.“

Millie nodded, looking relieved about being able to wait outside the store: “Yes, love. Take your time.“

“See you soon.“, you waved and disappeared into the Lego store.

Millie watched as you entered, making sure that you would be busy browsing the aisles for a while before sneaking away from her spot in front of the store.

With determined steps, she walked towards a jewellers shop and started studying the rings on display.

“So you’re looking for an engagement ring?”, someone said to her right. Looking up, she saw an older man with a friendly smile who seemed eager to sell something.

“Yes. I was thinking a gold one, not too big. Something classy.“, Millie described quickly what she had in mind.

The salesperson nodded slowly and led Millie to another ring display.

“How about this one then?“

“Oh, this is beautiful.“, Millie said, taking a closer look at the filigree ring. It was almost exactly what she had imagined. A simple gold band with small oval-shaped diamond in the middle, elegant and not too flashy.

The smile on the man’s face grew wider, either because he was able to help his customer or because he was about to sell something: “Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”

“Yes, please. But no bows or anything. And I don’t need a bag, it’s supposed to be a surprise.“, Millie replied. Her gaze nervously wandered towards the clock, she’s been inside the shop for almost fifteen minutes already.

“Got it.“

Still, he took his time putting the ring into a small pillowed jewellery box while Millie waited impatiently with her credit card already in hand.

The payment was processed just in time as you entered the store after spending minutes to find her.

“Hi love, what are you doing inside here?”, you smiled at her.

“I was just looking at some earrings. Found what you were looking for?”, your girlfriend asked innocently.

You opened a huge yellow shopping bag, showing her its contents: “Yes. Look, I found this big set. Doesn’t it scream Hempo?”

“It does.“, she agreed as you left the jewellers shop together.

For a second her face whitened, fearing you might discover the rings somehow.

An amused smile appeared on your lips, while you realized. “I hope she doesn’t own it yet. Wait are those Christmas jumpers for our dogs, you know I don’t-“

“Promise me you won’t be mad.”, Millie looked at you puppy eyed  

“Only a little bit.”, you admitted releasing a deep sigh.

“They’ll look adorable in it, Lucy and Beth agree with me!”, she defended herself.

“Of course they do.”, you commented eyerolling.

“Hey, even an Arsenal player is on my side.”, the defender added in a teasing tone.

“Just because I’m a gooner doesn’t mean we’ve to share the same opinion.”, you countered.

“Oh, you don’t? I thought you all just use one brain cell together.”, a smug grin was on your girlfriends’ lips.

“Excuse me? You can sleep on the sofa tonight if you keep talking like this Bright.”, you warned her, playfully punching her in the side.

“With the dogs in their matching Christmas sweaters? I don’t mind that.”, Millie shrugged laughing whole-heartedly.

“No, they’ll sleep on your side of the bed.”, you corrected her trying your hardest not to chuckle.  

“Rude.”, the blonde pouted which looked adorable in your opinion.

“You started it.”, you reminded her smiling.

Both of you walked side by side, you left the shopping centre behind you as you made your way to the underground station.

Even after all the years you’ve lived in London now, you still got starstruck by their Christmas lights. Your girlfriend called your name and brought you back to the here and now.

“Sorry, I got distracted by the beauty of it. They’re especially pretty this year don’t you think?”, you apologized, a soft blush creeping up on your cheeks. That’s when you noticed the snowflakes falling to the earth, making the scenery even more magical.

“I couldn’t have planned it any better.”, Millie stated overjoyed.

“Planned what?”, you frowned confused.

“This.”, she replied sounding matter-of-factly, while kneeing down revealing the engagement ring which the defender had carried in her pocket all along.

“You weren’t looking for earrings.”, you muttered.

“I wasn’t. Will you marry me?”, the Chelsea player declared solemnly.

“Yes, I’ll, Millie. The ring is beautiful.”, you told her with tears in your eyes.

“You like it? I saw it and knew it had to be yours.”, Millie beamed.

“It’s so elegant, I love it.”, you answered truthfully.

“Just like you.”, the blonde whispered lovingly. She paused for a second before continuing with a cheeky smile on her face. “Now you can’t be mad about the dog sweaters anymore.”

“Oh my god.”, you groaned.

“Just joking.”, your fiancée reassured you, placing a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Let’s go home love. Also, we need to take a photo with the ring there as well as of the dogs in their Christmas jumpers for all the group chats.”, you hummed excitedly.

“We do.”, Millie agreed delighted by that prospect. When you stepped out at the underground station to walk the rest of the way home a thin layer of snow already covered the ground.  

The season would be merry and bright indeed the blonde thought to herself and she couldn’t wait for you to take her last name.

lionesses group chat

y/n just posted..

Beth: Congrats, my loves! But where did you get those cute Christmas jumpers for your dogs? Myle wants one as well!  🥰

Alex: The cutest! Congrats 😍

Lucy: About damn time that you two tie the knot!!! 😂

Ella: So happy for you! 😍

Christmas/Winter Oneshots