#not sure how much i will sleep tonight
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has been providing a Korean-language service since 2013.
Text
Daghe Charles! Forza Charles! ❤️🤍
📸 Scuderia Ferrari, Federico Basile, Taidgh Barron, Andrej Isakovic, Glenn Dunbar, anthonymarchese_, Johnny Fidelin
#not sure how much i will sleep tonight#and if you hear nothing from me before/during the race#just know I will have my fingers and toes crossed#and be sitting on the edge of my seat#may all of our love hope and prayers push you to the finish line ahead of everyone else charles#charles leclerc#monaco gp 2024
151 notes
·
View notes
Text
my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
when you're trying to get the next generation of your breeding project figured out but your spreadsheet brain is exhausted so you just make pages of notes
#flight rising#i know that there are planning tools and spreadsheets out there but i am very much a purist and prefer to make my own spreadsheets#at least like 90% of the time there's some stuff i'll def use a template for#but I've thought through how i want this spreadsheet to work/look and i do genuinely enjoy making spreadsheets#so i'm sure i'll make this one soon#shit if i can't sleep tonight i might give it a shot#I'm about to try to go to bed but we'll see how that goes
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had an important presentation today and it went well fortunately 💖💕🥹 I’m so tired today though, I’ll probably not finish editing the accident tonight, my apologies 🥺
#love you#tired tired#but I‘m just glad that I can finally move on from the presentation#do you know that feeling when you know you have something like that due next week? and you cannot relax at all#it‘s always subconsciously in your mind#that’s how this presentation felt for me 🥹#I feel so much better now#i will sleep well tonight 💖#Love y‘all#and sorry if someone was waiting for the next part#it’s basically done#I just need to proofread it#but my brain is tired#Tomorrow for sure#and pls lower your expectations on the next part#I made it rather calm#but the part after that will have soooo much drama#I’m eager to write it hehe~ 💖🫶🏻
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to go to bed I’m just gonna shout a lil
#ice hockey needs to chill the fuck out#I had such a good night tonight!! was ssosososossososososo happy#but afterwards people started shouting in the group chat#and they all have very valid reasons for being angry but my god the us vs them mentality is STRONG#I am concerned abt how much people want to escalate things and how quickly they’re moving to do that#I am aware I am a doormat and a people pleaser or whatever but#I mean for one this is a tense political situation and we don’t wanna burn bridges#(there is no real politics i am being dramatic to be clear)#two clubs. alike in dignity. in fair Verona where we lay our scene#and I am personally managing at least 4 fragile egos that are all highly volatile#as well as an internal divide that’s threatening to cause problems very soon#I also should not be part of this anymore! and yet.#also why are specifically men who play team sports so dramatic when you get them all together#like that’s a whole shitstorm that is so easy to set off#anyway with my club I can’t blame the committee for being dramatic (different way to what I just said they’re not the same people)#bc I sure as fuck was overdramatic which fed into other people ramping up BUT that normally snapped me the fuck out of it#so I tempered the worst of it yknow. but I don’t think this new committee has that#/is not willing to listen to the person who would play that role#anyway if people don’t play nice it’s going to start some actual shit which will be deeply unpleasant for everyone#particularly the people who are in both clubs and do not deserve this bc they’ll be getting it from both sides and theyve done nothing wrong#anyway! bedtime now <3 I’m just frustrated bc the person who maybe would’ve calmed everyone down is out of commission#and I should not and am not willing to have the power to tell people to stop even though I probably still could#it’s whatever. sleep#luke.txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
disordered eatings cw
just realized i haven't experieienced haunger in like a week and therefore i keep forgetiting to eat and that is prorbably nogt helping with my energy prohblems...turns out hunger is good for something eafter all. but i just have literally no appetite whatsoever like where did it go??
#i've gone through periods before of not being very hungry or not having much of an appetite but this is#next level like i can't rememebr feeling at all hungry in any way for sevral days running#maybe i should take my sleeping pill that stimulates appetite tonight#not sure how wowrried about this i should be because like the biggest problem is that i'm not eating#because i'm not hungry and time has no meaning so i forget. and i should be eating#so maybe i don't need to solve the appentite problem if i just solve the eating problem in steqaed?#but how to solvd tghe eating problem?#i will tell my friend to text me three times a day#wow i am such a smartypants
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
:((((
#i am doing this entire database assignment by myself basically. some of them figured out the er diagram a few days ago and i volunteered to#write the paper because i was sick that day and felt bad for not participating#turns out literally everything they've done is wrong and im 99% sure it was all from chatgpt the code is wrong and not the way the professor#wants it. so now ive written the entire paper and have to rewrite the SQL code and build the fucking database#all while i have an exam at 8 tomorrow#im probably not going to sleep tonight#its fine im not like stressed to the point of feeling shitty and depressed i know that i just have to survive the day and things will be ok#after this#but idk how people can be like this#idk how you can be okay with letting one person do the majority of the work on a group assignment. if that were me the shame would kill me#and when i asked for help in the group chat no one responded it's been seen by all members but no reply and that pissed me off so much#id rather they come out and say they don't know how to do it than flat out ignore the work.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
dunno if this is just placebo effect but I do feel like it's already helping a bit. usually at work I'm fighting for my life trying to write emails or ask ppl for things bc I find it so hard to put my words in order in a way that makes sense to other people but it's been 100% fine.. and I've managed to just Do every task I need so far without rly needing to think..... I feel so calm wtf
#can't really tell if I have any side effects so far. apart from dry mouth but I had that yesterday.. I think im catching my roommates cold#also a bit sweaty but thats bc we STILLLLLL dont have functional AC at work and im working with an 80c water bath this morning 😭#its like a sauna in here rip#my stomachs being weird but then again when is she not. and its usual for me to get the shits on my period#so nothing definitive......#maybe sounds strange but I also just feel more aware of my environment. normally when im walking around I look at the ground a lot#but this morning on my walk from the bus stop I realised I wasnt doing that. actually maybe first time ive even noticed I DO do that#its too early to tell if this IS from meds but we'll see the next few days.. im glad i took it on a work day bc its much easier to see-#how it might affect me. i think last time i wasnt sure if there was any effect bc it was a weekend so i didnt have much i needed to do#but also last time i didnt have any side effects until the insomnia hit so we'll see how bad tonight is 😝 at least its a friday so if-#i cant sleep i can just play elden ring its whateverrrr#.diaries
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
you can't take a picture of this - it's already gone.
one year since i moved out of my mom's house to live on my own. all this clutter and stuff came to the apartment w me but still, i am unable to really call it home. before i even lived there we lived in a different house which i was then longing to return to post-divorce so i know change is inevitable and it's all just part of how life goes but still it's like. will home ever stop feeling like a place and time you only keep growing more distant from every day. idk
#mine#my old bedroom pictures w bonus photo of our living room. i still go there hell im going there tonight we will watch tv as usual#the living room still looks p much exactly the same as it does in that photo w a sofa for each coasters ready fr tea & tv slightly tilted.#and in the room that once was mine i still have a bed to sleep in. but they're not my sheets and there's no personal clutter in sight.#mom got these grey oak cabinets that hold spare blankets and toilet paper. it's her laundry room where she hangs laundry to dry.#the orange wall w my mural is still there. i remember how the sunlight would sometimes hit that wall and reflect back deliciously bright.#she's looking forward to painting it a soothing green maybe later this spring or summer. it's gonna be the final step of redecorating.#im still welcome to stay over but it's not my house anymore. im expected to leave fr an address that doesnt really feel like mine either.#idk ive been feeling like. a tree collecting rings but not being entirely sure the core is still under there yknow. and i wanna go back.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just wish people liked being around me
#i feel so fucking lonely#like i was yalking to my friend who was talking about how he was imvited to go out tonight#and thats never happened to me#ive never been invited to places really#unless i kinda invite myself tbh#ive never gone to a bar and then gone to a second location#i just wanna have people who think pf me when theyre doing things#i want people to want me around#and is some of this the DID talking ?? yes#i have parts who mever get to do things like that for one reason pr another#i want people to think im cool in some regard or at least interesting enough to keep around#but no#im just here alone on a friday night and i couldnt go out cuz im sick#meanwhile my partner is sleeping over at a friends place cuz hey shes got a car and is good at people#she gets invited to things all the time and im so fucking burnt out from work that i never get to fucking do anything i hate this so much#i just feel so goddamn alone and unwanted#i know the latter isnt true but it sure fucking feels like it rn#and im gonna be even more isolated this summer since im working 2 jobs#and none of my close friends like to do anything interesting#im just so bored and stagnant and lonesome#i wish i coul sleep
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s my middle child’s 3rd birthday today 🥺
3 years ago my partner was deployed overseas and couldn’t come home for the birth because the military didn’t want to spend so much time quarantining their soldiers. Fortunately I had help as my parents were watching my son (at the time just a month shy of 2) for a few days before my due date and we had moved across the street from my partner’s parents when we found out about the deployment. So I had his mom with me at the hospital holding up her phone while we got to have a rare video call with my partner as we welcomed our daughter into the world after a very quick labor. I then had two months with our two very little kids by myself before he came home. It was an incredibly hectic time and I’m still not quite sure how I was able to get through all of that but here we are with the sweetest little 3 year old (let’s call her C) we could have asked for 🥰
C loves to play dress up and she has specific characters she’ll play as where you can’t refer to her as her name or she’ll get mad. She’s not C she’s Dr C or Baby or Baby Kitty or Princess Bucket (this was her first character and yes she does put a bucket on her head as a crown). Her favorite game to play is hide and seek and she loves dance parties and drawing and she’s obsessed with her 1 year old sister. We love C so much and I’m so excited to see how she grows and changes and learns over this next year ❤️
#personal#tonight her and her little sister are sleeping in their beds in their very own room for the first time#they’ve had their beds in my bedroom since we moved in and very often just ended up in our bed#but I’ve spent the past few days getting the room we’ve used for storage ready for them#and they’re doing really well so far#I’m sure they’ll end up in my bed again at some point but this is at least a step in the right direction#our crib that we’ve used for all 3 babies turns into a toddler bed and as I was taking it apart and putting it back together in the new room#my son started crying because he didn’t want his sisters to be big girls in their own room#he wanted me to put everything back and make the 1 year old 0 again so she could keep being a baby#I should point out that he is also obsessed with his baby sister#I told him that’s not quite how it works and kids are meant to grow up#and then he asked yet again for a baby brother because he loves babies so much and then he’d have a brother just like him 😅#he’s very sweet but also…. that’s not happening lol#I’m slowly becoming a person again and being able to focus more time on hobbies#and my partner and I now have our room back#all of that would be reset again with another baby not to mention another year of nursing and diapers and sleepless nights…. pass lol#I’m emotional about my babies growing up but I’m also so excited to learn who they’ll become as time goes on#sorry for rambling I get sappy on their birthdays
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok gotta get up and shower soon and maybe take more nsaids and then hopefully I'll feel human again 🤞
#i am in. so much pain today#i woke up and was immediately like 'oh this is why pple abuse opiods' like that kinda pain#it got a little better as i let myself wake up slowly#but idk how I'm supposed to get up at 630 for work tomorrow!!!#gonna take melatonin tonight for sure cause the pain has been fucking with my sleep#idk. i don't like when my functioning is this low. it hurts just to walk around and I'm supposed to clean the stove????#doth oversharing hour
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am suddenly very tired, and didn't realize it was already almost 10 pm.
It feels like I just got home from work, and I only worked the lunch shift today.
#i clocked out at 5#but i have an hour drive to pick up draven from my grandma's#then another half hour drive home#plus i went to taco bell#and i'm not sure how much time i spent talking to my grandma#i work a double tomorrow#but i'll be on in the morning before i leave#as long as i can get some decent sleep tonight#outofmonsters; ooc
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
how does one respond when one's favorite author(s) comments on one's fic, like, how does one construct a comment purely out of drool, tears, and maniacal giggling? asking for a friend. >.>
#taking a brief break from work to chip at the ongoing mountain of feedback i never expected#i feel too supportedddddd#too much happy#too much love#how do i cope with this?#how do yall cope with this?#surely i cant be the only one who struggles with this??#how can something simultaneously feel so good and yet so exhausting?!?!#idk how to deal lmao#ESP WHEN SOME OF UR FICS ARE MAKING ME CRY LIKE A FERAL BEAST AT 3AM like#also sometimes it feels like yall's fics have eyes#like oh HELLO kenobster ur looking nice this morning but weren't u just screaming incoherently at the floor like 3 hours ago bc of my fic?#lol and honestly like another thing is that yall just saw straight into the deepest levels of my soul#like#you just saw me naked!#and now i'm expected to waltz right in and show my face in a comment? it's too embarrassing!#does this make sense to literally anyone else? lol#or do i need to like maybe sleep for more than 4 hours tonight#personal#kb post
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
whoever uploaded 30 rock’s entire run including the missing from hulu eps plus dvd extras to the internet archive…. i owe you my fucking life fr
#this has been a text post#i just wanted to see my man paul!!!!#i will probably finish my rewatch tomorrow 🥲 but it’s been beautiful and i’ll rewatch again for sure#hard to overstate how much tina and those writers like. shaped my whole sense of humor for years to come#but i’ll be emotional tomorrow. tonight i write and then SLEEP
3 notes
·
View notes