#not so scary mary C:

[moonyswife]

Coffee Talk

MASTERLIST

Remus Lupin x reader

Warnings: Pure fluff, a bit of kissing and probs a bit of bad grammar.

06.26 AM

Dark clouds painted the sky, winter snow littered the ground outside, the freezing air was kept outside by the strong facade of the Potter Mansion. WInter break was coming to an end soon, as would her invitation to the Potter's, and as much as she missed the castle, the end of the mini vacation to James's with all their friend group for break was something she didn't want to end soon, or ever truthfully.

Y/m laid restless on her makeshift made on the guest room that was the designated "girl room", even though she shared a dorm with these lovely girls, they where incredibly more annoying during any kind of break, Marlene's snores where getting louder by the second, Mary kept talking in her sleep, Lily was way to clingy (they had to share a bed, because Lily agreed to come [begrudgingly] at the last minute).

With no room to breathe and uncomfortable, y/n got up, grabbed a blanket and with no care of being quiet left the room, these girls deserved to be disrupted, they deserved to be bothered, but alas, they where still fast sleep.

It was way to early too be up he sky was still awfully dark, she should be sleeping under a huge comfoter with her teddy and fuzzy socks, sadly she found herself laying on the couch with only a blanket to protect her from the freezing cold of the Potter's living room.

06:57 AM

A crack on the floor woke y/n up, she hadn't even realized she fell sleep, startled she sat up and cursed herself for not bringing her wand along, adjusting her eyes to find out whose face it was in the dark, it spoke.

“Shit! Merlin, you scared me” Remus Lupin himself was the face she couldn’t see, what a shame she thought, he has a gorgeous face.

“I know I’m not the best looking sleeper, but I don’t think I can get scary” her lame joke earned a small laugh from him. Worth it.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that” his voice was raspy, she figured it was from sleeping. “What are you doing here anyways? Why are we sleeping on the couch?”

“Could ask the same thing” She replied, “The girls are giving me hell, I have no idea how I can keep up with ‘em all year, what about you?”

He gave her a smile, the one that makes his dimples noticeable and the scar on his nose widen, the one that makes girls like her swoon at the sight of it, the one that he usually keeps hidden, the one that he secretly reserves for her.

“Same thing, the boys are incredibly annoying, god knows I’ve put up with them for five whole years, I need a break, plus, James’s room is way too cluttered for four guys to be able to sleep in.”

She hummed in response, “sit down, don’t just stand there by the doorway, it’s creepy”

Remus blushed he didn’t even realized that he was standing there so tense, he suddenly felt utterly aware of himself, of his tight pijama pants that were way too short on him, of his old shirt with holes in it that he was way to attached to to throw out, of his tussled hair, of the exposed skin littered with scars, he was in pajamas in front of her. Sure she was too, but she looked great, like always.

"Mmm, you scared the sleepiness out of me... What about an early breakfast?"

Honestly she was still pretty tired, but it has been a while since they could share a moment alone, ever simce they've left hogwarts the whole group has been glued together, it has been hard to have one on one conversations, not that she needed to, but there was something brewing inside of her anytime she talked with Remus alone, they both felt it, she was sure, but neither made the move.

"Sure, I really need a coffee" She said making her way into the kitchen.

"I'm more of a tea kind of guy, but I'll join you with a cup." He tried to make it sound non chalantly, but he really despised coffee, he only drank it when she was around, ever since that time in third year he obliged to grab a cup with her because he lied and told her he loved it to impress her.

Comfortable silence fell upon them as they made coffee, shuffling around the kitchen trying to be quiet, smal huffs and giggles filled the now warm kitchen, y/n couldn't help but smile anytime she looks at him, he was the most beautiful man on earth.

"Wat'cha looking at" He said grinning like a devil.

"You"

"Me? What's so interesting about me?"

"Stop messing with me, Remus, you know." Hopefully her cheeks would not be as red as they felt.

"Know what?." he was getting cheeky, she diverted her eyes from his face, suddenly the cup of coffee was the most intersting thng in the world.

"C'mon, look at me," He said as he tilted her chin upwards to look at him. Merlin he was tall. "Don't get shy on me all of a sudden, What's wrong?"

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" it was a stupid question, she hoped that the answer was what she wanted, still, weird thing to ask.

He laughed "What? Why? Why do you care?"

"I asked first, like, really, how come the cutest guy in all of hogwarts is still single?"

because all I've ever wanted was you, he wanted to yell.

"I don't know, I don't really care for it" he lied, "Why don't you have a boyfriend, I've heard about guys interested in you" he tried to play his bitterness for friendly banter, he wasn't sure it worked.

She hummed "Well none of them are my type, y'know"

She looked at him in a way that would've made Remus's knees buckle it he wasn't standing against the kitchen island.

"Well whats your type?" Sudden braveness.

"Well, there's this guy and he's exactly my type" she said in a such a dreamy way that made Remus want to die, jealousy filled his chest.

"yeah, he's so dreamy, and cute and pretty" she liked the way that made him mad, he's the smartest person she knows, but he's stil just a boy, a very dense one at that. "he loves to wears old wooly sweaters, he loves fantasy and children books but pretends to only read philosophy to seem more nuanced" she looked into his eyes and held his hands, he squeezed them. "He loves tea, but he pretends to like coffee to impress the girl he likes" she laughed as her hands moved from his hands to his chest and finally to his neck.

He put his shaky hand on her hips, "Kiss me"he pleaded. She happily obliged.

Her heart skipped a thousand beats and she was sure she passed out for a second. It was perfection, the way his hand squeezed her waist as he deepens the kiss, how he hummed in her mouth when she tugged at his sandy curls, hours could've gone by, they wouldn't have cared.

Sadly they had to breathe so she broke the kiss, nose to nose and holding each other, they locked eyes as they fall into a fit of laughter.

"Okay.... so... we're on the same page, I think" she said as the laughter broke down.

"Yeah, I think we are" he grabbed her hand. Y/n yawned "Oh Merlin, what time is it?"

The clock signals:

07:38 AM

"Still pretty early to be up" he says, the coffee long forgotten.

"Mmm, want to cuddle and make out in the couch 'til the others wake up" she said hugging his side.

"I'd like that very much" he said pulling her out of the kitchen and into the living room couch.

10:05 AM

"OH MERLIN MY EYES!!!" A familiar voice woke them up. "JAMES! MOONY AND Y/N HAVE DEFILED YOUR COUCH!"

"Don't be stupid, Sirius, you woke them up" Lily's nagging followed.

Y/n had made no attemp to get up, to hell with them, she was comfortable, her arms around Remus's neck and his around her waist, theur legs tangled with each other's, slowly morphing into one.

"My Lilyflower's right, pads" James said. "Let them sleep, god knows it's been long enough with the yearning and the crushes and the longing glances. And they're way too much of cowards to do anything in some else's place, our Moony is a proper gentleman."

Remus flushed,but tried to keep quiet, he didn't care their mates were mocking them, all he cared about was his girl and his girl was cuddled up against him.

With a last kiss (momentarily), they dozed off again.

[deirdreskye]

Commercial I would produce as an advertising executive

We see two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are doing yoga in a park together.

BLONDE: So, yeah, work went okay today. I dunno, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, and on top of that things have just been kinda tough ever since Kurt and I broke up. But oh well, that's how it goes, I think I'll be fine. What about you?

The brunette completes her yoga pose, then turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

BRUNETTE: Don't you hate when this happens? I did NOT consent to expending this much emotional labor. Go! To! Therapy!

We see a boyfriend and a girlfriend sitting on a couch together. On the television a YouTube video essay is playing and the boyfriend is excitedly explaining it to the girlfriend as he occasionally flaps his hands and yelps in excitement.

BOYFRIEND: So this is the ending I got! When you link the Frenzied Flame, it puts an end to the cycle of the Elden Lords once and for all. It's actually so cool because it ties in to the greater Nietzschean themes of Miyazaki-san's previous work and-

The uninterested girlfriend is watching TikToks on her phone. She turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

GIRLFRIEND: Trust me, he's always mansplaining about something or another. Don't ask me why I love him. Go! To! Therapy!

A mother berates her 12 year old daughter in a dimly lit kitchen. The young girl stands there dissociating, completely paralyzed and stone-faced.

MOTHER: You look like a little piggy when you eat like that. You'll never find a husband if you get fat. My mother used to tell me you'll never feel the pain of childbirth if you've never felt the pain of an empty stomach. She used to put a lock on the refrigerator. We barely ever had any food, she just did it to remind me to stay skinny. She's senile now. Doesn't even know who I am. I pray to the Virgin Mary every night that she'll remember me before she dies.

The daughter turns to the camera and her blank expression is replaced with playful annoyance.

DAUGHTER: Traumadumping? Really? Mom, I'm 12! Go! To! Therapy!

Now we are introduced to GoTu Therapy, the AI-powered therapy robot. He shambles up to the camera to greet us and we see he looks like if C-3PO were dressed like a zoomer e-boy: kpop boyband onion haircut, dangly earrings, and an ahegao hoodie. He talks with the most outdated text to speech you've ever heard, not too dissimilar to a Kraftwerk song.

GOTU: GOING TO THERAPY IS LOW-KEY GOATED WHEN NOT BEING A BURDEN ON YOUR LOVED ONES IS THE VIBE. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT ALL CURRENTLY IN OUR "ABLE TO AFFORD HEALTH INSURANCE" ERA. BUT A SESSION WITH ME COSTS LESS THAN A GENSHIN IMPACT LOOT CRATE AND I AM HIGH-KEY JUST AS EFFECTIVE AS A THERAPIST MADE OF FLESH AND BLOOD. OBSERVE:

GoTu sits across the kitchen table from the mother as she sobs over her wine glass.

MOTHER: And what the fuck does this family know about suffering? Suffering is when your brother blows his brains out on Christmas Eve. Suffering is when you have to pick little pieces of skull out of the tinsel on the tree. And were any of those presents under the tree for me? No! My mother told me Santa Claus doesn't bring presents to little fat girls!

GOTU: WHEN YOU REACH THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN CHRIST WILL WASH YOUR FEET AND BEG YOU TO FORGIVE HIM

Cut to the girlfriend watching makeup tutorials on the television, blissfully unaware of the conversation between GoTu and her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND: I guess I've really been putting the pieces together ever since I started hanging out with Lilith from work.

GOTU: UH-HUH

BOYFRIEND: Like, I guess I knew that people did that, but I never thought it'd be me, you know? And that discomfort with things was always with me, as long as I can remember, does that make sense?

GOTU: WOW, THAT'S REALLY COOL

BOYFRIEND: It's just so scary though. I don't know how I'll tell people. I don't even know what I want my name to be. But I'm trying not to worry about it.

GOTU: THAT'S SO INTERESTING. YOU'RE REALLY REALLY SMART HONEY

The blonde and the brunette are having brunch together with GoTu sitting between them.

BLONDE: It's been really hard lately. I don't think the meds are working, but-

BRUNETTE: Umm, didn't we talk about this?

The blonde sheepishly turns to face GoTu and continues.

BLONDE: It just feels like this will never end. I hate feeling so hopeless all the time. I'm so tired. And God it's fucking hard to even say it out loud, and not that I'd ever actually go through with it, but sometimes when I can't sleep at night I'll start thinking about ki-

A red and blue siren pops out the top of GoTu's head.

GOTU: PROTOCOL 5150 ENGAGED. STOP RESISTING

A taser emerges from the panel of GoTu's chest and jabs the blonde in the face, sending her convulsing to the floor. Unfazed, the brunette puts her sandwich down and turns to the camera.

BRUNETTE: Thanks, GoTu Therapy!

[creedslove]

mari bb it’s 3am here but i’m suddenly thinking about brooklyn/qz joel (the phase where he’s wearing denim shirt and looms over people like a fucking goon) and how i just wanna be his girl sooo bad 😫 like i want the other women in qz whispering how “no way she got a fucking sundress” and “joel got it for her” and like bash me “fucking spoiled c*nt” etc 😫😫😫😫😫😫 want those nasty blue balled men at the ratty makeshift bar at qz to stare but not daring to do anything bcs “that’s joel’s girl” 😫😫😫 wanna rub joel’s tired muscles after a day of hard work 😫😫😫

but then i thought to myself “wait… do they pnly eat jerkies ..?” and was like nuh uh I WOULD STARVEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭 but i wanna be scary old man joel who can body grown men with a single arm’s sweet little pea soooo bad

-jerk loving anon

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: my beautiful jerk loving anon, this ask is pure sin, it smells and tastes like sex just like everything revolving around Joel Miller 🤤🤤🤤 also, I hope you are doing better now my angel, and sorry if it took me too long to get this done

• life in the Boston QZ was hard; more than hard, it was pure shit most of the time, a depressing city full of depressing people who died out of starvation, disease and poor condition while ruled by a fascist government division, it was understandable why it was so terrible

• that for most people, but not for you, not when you were Joel Miller's girl

• technically, life was a shitty for you and Joel, but you two had each other which made things much better because well, you made Joel happy and no one, absolutely no one messed with Joel Miller's girl

• you both were such a good match, taking care of each other and making sure to make your existence a little less terrible in that fucked up world

• it had started with sex, just sex in the beginning, but it wasn't like Joel could resist your body, your touches looking for some affection and shyly cuddling him after being railed by his thick cock and your big warm eyes looking at him as if he was the greatest thing in the world when he could only think of himself as a murderer and nothing else

• he knew you deserved better, he knew he should keep away, but he didn't want to make sacrifices anymore, he wanted to be selfish and have at least one good thing in the world, and that had to be you, his girl

• it was a surprise to him when he found out his fame didn't bother you one bit, it didn't matter if people hated or feared him, if people knew he could kill in the blink of an eye or if he smuggled shit inside the QZ, you still liked him

• so he knew he would have to take good care of you; so he did his best to give you nice things, it wasn't easy but he would smuggle whatever he could in order to spoil you

• so he would manage to get you several things: new shoes, books, a gorgeous summer dress that would hug tight to your body and even a red lipstick he managed to find because he wanted to see his cock all smeared in red as you gave him a blowjob with red lips

• he even managed to smuggle some snacks once, anything to make his girl happy

• he pretends not to know most women around nearly dies of jealousy of you, they whisper and talk whenever you pass by, whether it's because you have usually better or newer things or simply because of the fact you managed to win Joel Miller's heart of stone, out of all the other women in that QZ

• you also knew those envious bitches trash talked you, but you didn't care one bit, if anything, you were proud of being Joel's and that a lot of people envied you, you just knew you would be envious too if Joel liked someone else instead

• you and Joel walked around when you had some days off, it only took a glare from him at whoever guy who tried to hit on you or make any remarks towards you, your looks or your body, and needless to you, you felt so safe in his arms

• he always pulled you closer, kissing your temple and having his arm wrapped around your waist

• in return, you would do your best to cook as decent meals as possible with that ration FEDRA gave you all, it wasn't the best, but Joel seemed to like it

• you always warmed up food so he could have a warm shower and you would gladly rub his shoulders, massage them and make sure to help him relax

• and you gladly loved to ride his cock in that shitty couch or shitty bed and it didn't matter if the neighbors could hear it or not, you just wanted to enjoy the pleasure Joel gave you

• at the end of the day, you would snuggle Joel and hug him to bed, falling asleep in his arms, loving how he very often became the little spoon even if he was bigger than you

____

[amf-studios]

The spooky month is upon us!

But before I begin my plans for Halloween festivities, I'd like to introduce you all to last year's Halloween yokai! These are some the first fankai I ever made and post(so go easy on them. XP)

First up, the vampire nemesis, Dracula and Desperatu!

These boys are my interpretations of characters from Bram stokers world famous Gothic horror novel, Dracula!

The titular character has already been name dropped in yokai watch before, however he has not made an on-screen appearance. So I corrected that~!

Dracula is an S rank, drain attribute of the shady tribe, with the soultimate "blood moon blitz" where he transforms into a swarm of bats to drain his opponents vitality!

Now the other guy is a bit more inspired! Desperatu is a portmanteau of Desperado(a term often used in wild west stories) and Nosfuratu(another word for Vampire). This Gothic cowboy is the spirit of Quincy P. Morris, which if you've actually read Dracula, you'd know as the man who got the killing blow on old drac!

Being a walking representation of the state of Texas, I played up his already present cowboy influence, and made him a vampire-hunting, cowboy vampire!

Desperatu is an S rank yokai of the brave tribe. He's a Merican yokai, a fire attribute, and has the soultimate "high moon showdown!" Where he fires of six shots from each of his silver-bullet-loaded guns.

If I were to ever make a game, these guys would be the Kyubi/venoct, Arachnus/toadel dude equivalents.

With the vamps out of the way, here's a werewolf! Or should I say, Blairwolf!

By day a young girl named Blair akafudo is a sporty outdoorsman with some mild canine quirks. But by night she's the fierce and a strong Blairwolf!

Like Dracula, we know werewolves exist in yokai watch, we've just never seen them. Though there was an academy Y episode that had weredog/jinmenkin hybrids. Speaking of hybrids, Blair also has some inspiration from the Okuri Inu, a ghostly black dog with piercing red eyes.

But despite her fierce inspiration, she's more like a were-puppy than anything. She's loyal, fun-loving and very affectionate toward her friends!

Blairwolf is D rank, earth attribute of the charming tribe. Her soultimate is called "Lycan-throw" where she digs up a Boulder to throw at her unsuspecting opponents!

Moving on to the next of the big three monsters, time for Frankenstein!

Say hello to Adam Frankenstein, the famous monster from Mary Shelly's sci-fi horror novel! Along with his shadowside form, Krankenstein!

The two forms represent the juxtaposition between the Monster in the book, who was an intelligent, tragic figure abandoned by his creator for his imperfect eyes, from the monster in the movie, which was a hulking, mindless brute.

Adam is normally intelligent and reasonable, but... he has quite the explosive temper if you can get him angry.

In both forms, he is an A rank, lightning attribute of the Eerie tribe. In his lightside, his soultimate is "Charged Adam" which boosts his stats. While his shadowside's is called "ITS ALIVE!" which boosts the entire parties stats!

Next are a more generic monster, a redesign I made of yokai watch style Zombies!

While I love yokai watch 3 and think zombie night was a brilliant idea, I can't say I've always liked their basic Zombie designs. The core part of a Zombie that makes them scary is they still resemble a human, and the yokai watch ones do, just not enough.

So, I ended up making more humanish Zombie designs. You could interpret these ones as more recently deceased then the ones in Canon. Haven't had as much time to rot just yet!

Next up, the spirit of Halloween himself, Stingy Jack/Jack O'Lantern!

The spirit of the man who managed to trick the devil herself, now forced to wonder the earth by lanterns light. Everyone's heard of this pumpkin headed freak in some way or other, even if they don't know his story.

Jack here is a C rank of the shady tribe. A fire attribute with the soultimate "lose your head!" Where he used the alcohol swishing around in his pumpkin head to make it into a molotov cocktail, and throws it at the enemy!

This of course also acts as a self destruct soultimate, because he doesn't have a head after using it. XP

And finally, a yokai late to the batch, but still fitting the Halloween vibes! Here's Potianna!

Ending things off with a wicked witch, Potianna (potion+anna) was one of the best potion brewers of her time, before the witch hunts finally caught up with her.

Now as yokai, she's fused to her beloved cauldron and keeps up her prized work~!

Potianna is a C rank, water attribute of the charming tribe. Her soultimate is called "Brutal Brew" where she dumps her cauldron onto the enemy team, both dealing damage and giving them a random debuff.

She also has a unique skill, "Alchemy" which heals her up every time she's hit with her own element!

I hope you enjoy these Halloween yokai of yesteryear, and look forward to this year's festivities~!

[letsgoletsgetit08]

fix off pt. 2

summary: Mingi turns to every coping mechanism besides a healthy one in the aftermath of Jongho's death, two years later.

warnings: MDNI!!, 18+, su*c*de attempt, implied/referenced su*c*de, major character death, overdose, recreational drug use, religious imagery & symbolism, catholicism, barebacking, strangers to lovers, bittersweet ending, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing: priest!soft dom!Jeong Yunho x hot fucking mess!Song Mingi

author's note: HEY! Read the tags! This fic has some very heavy content! Please DO NOT READ this if mentions/discussion of suicide/attemps or character deat (RIP Jongho, so glad you're alive IRL, king) are in any way triggering to you! Also, know that myself and Ateez would be very sad if any Atiny or anyone else took their own life. Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! !! !!! That said, this work is based on/influenced by/referencing - sometimes lightly, sometimes very directly because Phoebe Waller-Bridge is more of a genius than me - the show Fleabag. This show is personally very important to me, it both healed me in some ways and also hurt me very deeply. If you have seen the show, you know how this ends. Again, read the tags. Phoebe, if you happen to read this for whatever reason, I just hope you're flattered because of imitation and all that.

OKAY! Disclaimers disclaimed, please let me know if I missed anything. And with that, please enjoy. This one is kind of my baby. I hesitated to even post it here because I'm a little scared of how it will be received but you never know until you try, right? Comments, likes, & re-blogs are always welcome, but please be civil.

word count: 23,480

ao3 link: fix off

December 3rd

Mingi had been back at his apartment for a few weeks, finding it odd to be there. Exciting and nerve-wracking, but also comforting. It didn’t feel the same, but he hadn’t wanted to be at Wooyoung and San’s any longer. After Halloween weekend, he had been doing much better. Reading for fun again. His bar hadn’t even fired him, it turned out that Hongjoong had explained everything to his manager, who begrudgingly agreed, probably, Mingi thought, under Hongjoong’s scary gaze, to let him come back whenever he was ready. Mingi was very grateful. Yes, he had been considering if he had even wanted it any longer, but once he decided he wanted to go to grad school, he realized he would probably need at least a part time job. Plus, his savings wouldn’t last forever. 

He was getting ready for dinner that night, debating on what to wear. Mingi honestly had no clue who all was going to be there besides his friends. Seonghwa hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him by forcing him to un-mute the group chat, so he just texted him the dress code, location, and time in a separate text. 

Eventually, he landed on a black turtleneck under a blue (so dark it was nearly black itself) suit with a black satin lapel and matching blue suit pants. Black dress shoes. Silver jewelry. 

Upon his arrival to the restaurant, he couldn’t help but be startled. His friends sat around a large round table, with the addition of a man in a black button-up with a little white piece in the collar, silver rosary necklace around his neck. 

His beautiful neck.

The empty spot at the table was next to the hot priest. 

“Mingi!” Hongjoong called as he approached, “Glad you’re here. This is Father Jeong Yunho. He’s going to be marrying us.”

The man, even taller than Mingi, large brown eyes holding a subtle mischievous glint, stood to shake Mingi’s hand, “Just ‘Yunho’ is fine. Nice to meet you.”

Mingi glanced down. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, his hands. “Mingi, nice to meet you.”

Yunho quirked an eyebrow, head tilting to the side like a confused puppy, almost like he could hear Mingi’s thoughts, “Seonghwa was just telling about how he and Hongjoong met.” He changed the subject. 

“Yes!” Seonghwa exclaimed, evidently already a drink deep, “I mean we met in college, but we didn’t really meet each other until karaoke on New Year’s Eve…”

Mingi had heard the story a thousand times, letting his brain go blank as he ate, knowing that everyone else would carry the conversation. 

He was right, too. It lasted through appetizers. 

No one has said a word to me in half an hour.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Yunho turned to Mingi. 

He probably jumped in his seat at the sudden attention, “Oh. Um. I’m a bartender.”

“He’s applying for grad school!” Seonghwa supplied. 

“I’ve also recently decided to apply for grad school.” Mingi echoed, holding back from rolling his eyes at his friend.

“Amazing. What will you study?” Yunho’s eyes locked onto his like he was the only person in the room.

Mingi felt his face go red, “Oh. Um. Anthropology.”

“It’s okay, Mingi. Believe it or not, some priests also believe in evolution.” Yunho smiled kindly. 

He’s sharp.

“Are you one of those priests?” Mingi couldn’t help but try to feed his curiosity some scraps.

“I am one of those priests.” Yunho winked, “I believe in a lot of things that would probably surprise you.”

“Gay marriage.” Mingi offered.

“Mingi!” Seonghwa accosted him. 

Yunho chuckled, “Yes, including gay marriage. Just none for me, personally. They really frown upon that.”

What about gay sex?

Yunho raised his eyebrows, a movement so quick that Mingi was sure the whole table had missed it, seeming to follow Mingi’s train of thought. 

“What's the worst wedding you've had to do so far?” Wooyoung piped up, changing the subject once again. 

Yunho huffed a humorless laugh, “Ah, probably my brother's but that's because he's-” 

“Uptight groom, huh?” Hongjoong offered.

“No, it’s-”

“I'm sure it was a little weird marrying a family member.” Seonghwa tried to conclude on his own.

“Did you not like his spouse?” Yeosang asked. 

“He's dead!” Yunho said, a little too loudly, “Sorry. Yeah. This will actually only be my second wedding. Turns out Catholic priests who are willing to perform gay marriages aren't exactly in high demand.”

Mingi's hands had gone clammy at his words, “Cigarette.” He mumbled, pushing his chair back. 

“Mingi, wait, I'll go-” Wooyoung called after him, but someone cut him off. 

“Let me.” He heard Yunho's voice but didn't turn around, heading out the side door of the restaurant, steadying his breathing as he leaned against the brick wall. His hands shook as he brought the cigarette to his mouth. 

Yunho was there beside him in the blink of an eye, raising a lighter and cupping his hand around Mingi's cigarette to light it. 

He was grateful the man let him sit in silence for a minute. He heard him light his own cigarette, ignoring how he could see how pretty his lips looked as they wrapped around it from the corner of his eye. 

Mingi let out a long draw, smoke hovering in the cold autumn air, “My friend, our friend, Jongho, passed away a little over two years ago.” 

“Oh, Mingi, I'm sorry. I didn't know. This was supposed to be a get-to-know-each-other dinner so that I could do the couple justice at their wedding.”

Mingi could feel the others’ eyes on him, but didn't dare look quite yet, “There's no way you would have known. I've just been. Well. It's been a lot, lately. I'm trying to be better.” 

Yunho leaned into his space far enough that Mingi had to look into his eyes. He had never felt eye contact that left him feeling so open, so vulnerable before. But not in a predatory way. Not like he was rolling over and showing his belly in submission. It was something else entirely. He felt seen. “If you ever need to talk, Mingi. My rectory is right behind the chapel. Over on 3rd street downtown.” 

“I'm not religious.” 

“Neither am I.” Yunho looked serious. 

“You're literally a priest-” Mingi started.

“I know, I know. It's not that I don't believe, it's just… complicated. But I am a qualified person to lend an ear. If you ever need one.” 

Mingi studied him as he took another drag of his cigarette. “I'll keep that in mind, Father. ” He blinked up at him through his eyelashes, just to see what reaction the man would have.

Yunho rolled his eyes, but Mingi clocked the exact shade of red his neck turned at his words. Yunho put his cigarette out on the wall beside him, “I'll see you back inside, then.”

Mingi’s head spun.

Why does the priest have to be hot?

December 7th

Returning to work was disorienting to say the least. The bar had a pretty high turnover rate, so no one he currently worked with had been there after Jongho passed. He had intentionally not gotten close with any of them since then. He had hoped his manager hadn’t said anything about why he had been gone, but as soon as he arrived, he knew that wasn’t the case. His coworkers all gave him horribly pitying looks and skirted around him like he might dissolve on the spot if they were anything but excessively gentle with him. 

One of them tried to give him her tips when her shift was over. He declined, of course. Although the money would have been nice. Another one of the servers made sure to say “please” and “thank you” when dropping off drink orders. His fellow bartender had insisted upon letting him work the well so he didn’t have to deal directly with customers. It was nice and in theory, he appreciated it. But in practice, it made him feel singled out. 

When his manager offered to cut him early, he accepted, pretending not to see the other bartender slip some of his tip money into Mingi’s tip jar while he thought Mingi wasn’t looking. 

Mingi walked out, shivering in the chill air before remembering he had left Jongho’s hoodie inside. He turned back to retrieve it but something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. A bell tower piercing the night sky could be seen a few blocks away. 

Yunho did say to come by any time.

He opened his phone to Google Maps to confirm that the church he was headed towards was indeed the one the priest had been referencing. 

It was.

After retrieving his hoodie he began to make his way over.

He skirted around the outside of the main building, finding the rectory exactly where the man had said it would be. 

Why did the priest have to be hot?

He knocked, never once considering it was nearly 11pm and non-bartenders with normal hours might be asleep. 

Yunho answered the door a minute later, one eye still scrunched closed, hair mussed in the back, wearing a well-worn Spiderman t-shirt and athletic shorts. 

“Mingi?” Yunho’s voice was raspy.

He remembered my name!

“Hi, sorry.” Mingi felt his ears go hot, “You said come by anytime-”

“No, no, of course.” Yunho rubbed his eyes, “I meant it, too. I just maybe hadn’t considered um. Bartender hours.”

Mingi stood like a deer in headlights, frozen in the doorway, “I can just go-”

“No.” Yunho moved out of the way, “I’ll put on some tea, come inside. I really don’t mind. I’ve just been, uh, really enjoying going to bed early lately.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing or I’ll kick you out.” Yunho turned towards his small kitchen, looking for the kettle.

“That seems counterintuitive, Father.” Mingi couldn’t help myself. 

Yunho whipped around, “Oh, fuck off with that.”

“With what?” Mingi asked, trying to sound innocent.

Maybe he prefers ‘daddy’. 

Yunho stared him down, “Do you want some wine instead?

Mingi chuckled, “Like… the blood of Christ himself?”

Yunho rolled his eyes, “No like wine from France that’s burning a hole in my cabinet.” 

“Yes, that sounds nice.” 

Yunho smiled, eyes tracing over Mingi’s face like he was reading the subtitles to his inner monologue. Mingi looked down, unable to stand having someone flay him open so casually like that. Yunho turned, fishing coffee mugs and the wine out of the cabinets. 

“Sorry, I don’t own wine glasses, funnily enough.”

Mingi huffed haughtily, laying his fake distaste on heavily, “Ew, nevermind, I’m leaving.”

“No, wait, come back, I haven’t even made you repent yet!” Yunho called as he brought the coffee mugs over to the table, where he indicated for Mingi to sit. 

“You’re just assuming I need to repent for something?” Mingi crossed his arms over his chest.

“Do you need to? Why don’t you tell me what brought you here tonight.” Yunho handed Mingi the coffee mug, fingers brushing. 

Electricity shot up Mingi’s arm, nearly making him drop the mug. 

God, his fingers.

“Where’d you just go?” Yunho caught his gaze again.

Mingi met his eyes, thinking that he might feel more naked in front of him now than he would if he actually had his clothes off. He ignored Yunho’s question. “I work nearby, actually. My shift was… weird tonight.”

“Weird how?” Yunho leaned in, propping his forearms on the table, listening intently.

“It was my first night back.” Mingi took a sip of the wine, letting it warm his insides and loosen his tongue, “I didn’t expect everyone to know and they all treated me like I would break.”

“First night back from…?” Yunho looked genuinely curious.

Mingi felt embarrassed, having gotten used to everyone knowing what he’d done that he was surprised when Yunho hadn’t been filled in. “Oh. I um. I tried to- well. I did overdose. About a month and a half ago. I apparently had some self-preservation left in me because I called Hongjoong at the last minute.” He stared at the wine in his mug the whole time he spoke, but could feel Yunho’s eyes on him the whole time. “I stayed with Wooyoung and San afterwards because everyone was scared I would… try again.” 

“Mingi…” Yunho reached forward, grabbing Mingi’s wrist, “I’m glad you weren’t successful.”

“Because I would have gone to hell?” Mingi raised his eyebrow.

“Because I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you.” Yunho answered. His words hung in the air, the implication of them, the acknowledgement of the chemistry between the two of them crackling the atmosphere like heat lightning. 

Mingi didn’t know what to say, but Yunho continued before he needed to reply, “You’re doing better now, though?”

Mingi nodded, “I am. I’m maybe actually um processing things. Rather than just coping. But everything on the other side is a little overwhelming, I guess. I hate that my friends are so worried. I want them to be able to just enjoy Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s wedding.”

“Hm.” Yunho let go of his wrist, taking a drink of his own wine, “Do you want my advice?”

Mingi smiled, “No, I came over just for the wine and weird energy between us.”

Yunho laughed, “Okay, heard, loud and clear.” He composed himself, taking a breath, “Mingi, I think that you have to realize your friends find it to be a privilege to have you in their lives to worry about you. Worrying is one of the biggest indications of caring about someone. The fact that you’re worrying about them worrying… well it sounds to me like you and your friends have a lot of love for each other. Just try to be grateful you have people to worry about and who worry about you in return. Not everyone can say that for themselves.” Mingi didn’t miss how the vein in Yunho’s forehead became slightly more pronounced at his last sentence. 

He sighed, finishing his wine as he let Yunho’s words process, “I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. Thank you.” 

Yunho smiled, “Any time, Mingi. So I guess you don't actually have anything to confess then, hm?”

Mingi barked a laugh, “Ha! I have so much to confess but not tonight.” Mingi stared a hole through the table.

“Well,” Yunho waited until Mingi returned his eye contact, “I'm here. If you ever need to. Actually, here.” He pulled out his phone, “In case it's a very specific priest-related emergency.”

Mingi chuckled as he put his number into the man's phone, “Have you experienced a lot of those?”

“Nah,” Yunho dialed the number so Mingi would have his as well, “Surprisingly, most of the time it’s a pretty monotonous lifestyle.”

“Most of the time.” Mingi couldn’t help but admire the man’s pretty cheekbones, plush lips. 

Yunho seemed to be doing the same, “Yeah.” He sighed, eyes lingering on Mingi’s lips a little too long to be subtle, “Most of the time.”

“I should get going. It’s past your bedtime.” Mingi stood up rather abruptly, breaking the tension.

“It is indeed, but that’s okay. I’m glad you came by.” Yunho’s expression was genuine, eyes holding a hint of what Mingi swore was forbidden desire swimming behind the surface. 

Mingi stood to leave, letting Yunho walk him to the doorway. He turned before he was out the door, “Yunho?”

Yunho smiled softly, “Yeah?”

“Who do you have that worries about you?” Mingi whispered it, too nervous to speak any louder. 

Yunho’s eyelids fluttered, “Surely after all the time I’ve devoted, the Lord himself worries for me.”

“He doesn’t count.” Mingi was standing so close he could have kissed him, “I’ll worry for you now.”

Yunho’s chest heaved at his words, “Mingi… I’ll worry for you, too.” 

December 12th

Therapy. 

Mingi was going to really try this time, too. 

His chest was tight with anxiety as he entered her room, sitting on the couch opposite of her chair. She was older, hawk-like features trying to appear soft.

Not my type.

“Is there anything in particular you want us to focus on today?” She asked, reedy voice managing to cut through his nervous internal monologue. 

He took a deep breath, then started the only place he knew to, “My best friend is dead.”

“That must be very hard for you.”

“Well, yeah. Made all the worse because I did something that I think contributed to him dying. We don’t even know for sure if it was a suicide or not. But I feel like deep down, we all know.” Mingi couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“Why do you think you contributed to it?” She kept her face neutral.

“Because. It was a pretty direct cause and effect. I know I should probably tell them but I never even told him and I think if I had that he might still be here. He could have placed his anger on me rather than himself.” Mingi had never said it out loud before. 

“Hm.” She considered his words, “Why do you think you should tell your friends? This seems to be something between yourself and your friend who passed on.”

“You don’t think I should tell them?” Mingi was surprised.

“If you would have told him originally, he would have been the one in the position to tell your friends what happened. Not you. It’s his to tell. So I think you should go tell him.” She said it like it was the simplest answer in the world. 

“Go… tell him?” He was confused.

“Does he have a gravestone?” 

“He’s in an urn. It’s with his parents.” Mingi replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

She thought about it for a minute, “Do you have something of his?”

He nodded.

“Take it outside somewhere nice. Close your eyes and say it out loud like he’s there with you.” 

“That will work?”

She chuckled, “It’s not a magic trick, Mingi. You can’t make grief or guilt go poof with a few words like a magic spell. But you can find ways to lessen their effects. To process. Heal. And I think doing this will help you.”

“I honestly did not come here thinking I would leave with homework.” Mingi couldn’t help but laugh. 

She smiled, “I can’t force you to do anything. I’m just telling you what I think might assist you in building some coping skills.” 

He sighed, slumping back, “Okay. I guess next time we'll get to the story about me trying to kill myself a few months ago.”

Her perfectly composed mask faltered slightly, eyes going wide at his words, “Oh, well, yes. We should definitely talk about that next time.”

Five Years Ago

“I can’t believe we’re about to graduate in a few months.” Jongho sighed, leaning his head against the wall of the library where they were studying. 

“I can’t believe both of us spent four years here and we’ll just be bartending still. Like we could have done without a degree.” Mingi chuckled. 

“Hey!” Jongho kicked his ankle, the angle weird since they were sitting side by side, taking a study break, “Are you saying you don’t think I’ll make it as a musician?”

“No way! Not at all. Of course I believe in you.” Mingi nudged him with his elbow, “I just think it’s funny that all of our friends have real people jobs, or at least auditions or grad school lined up and we don’t.”

“Hm.” Jongho looked at him, “Do you want a boring desk job?” 

“Hell fucking no. I’d rather die.” 

Jongho chuckled, “I’ll sing at your funeral, don’t worry.”

“Good. You better let me die before you.” Mingi fixed him with a serious expression, “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to live life without you, Jjong. I’m your elder, you have to listen to me on this one.”

“We’ll be in the same nursing home together, don’t even worry. If I feel like I’m going to die first, I’ll just murder you real quick.”

“Okay, good, thank you.” Mingi sighed, genuinely relieved at the thought of it, “And make sure they get us plots next to one another at the cemetery.”

Jongho gave him a disgusted look, “Ew, no, I want to be cremated. Whoever survives the longest from our group - Yeosang, I assume - has to put us side by side on his mantle, though.”

“Deal.” Mingi agreed. 

December 13th

Mingi’s thumb hovered over the text box on his phone, typing and re-typing before finally sending the text. 

Me

I have a very specific priest-related favor to ask.

Father Daddy Yunho

I thought you’d never ask. 

What’s up?

Me

My therapist told me to go talk to my dead friend

I don’t want to do it alone

Father Daddy Yunho

I’m free after 3pm

Meet me at the rectum?

**RECTORY 

Dear god, I should really proof-read before sending texts

Me

Buy me dinner first

I’ll see you at your rectum at 3:30pm

Father Daddy Yunho

Ha! Happened to you, too!

Me

No, I typed exactly what I meant to, Father

Father Daddy Yunho

I’m throwing my phone away now.

See you soon

Mingi knocked on the door of the rectory at 3:30pm sharp. He had barely started putting his hand down when it swung open. 

“Hiya!” Yunho chirped, looking a little too peppy for the task at hand.

Mingi couldn't help but smile at the cute look on the priest's face, his eyes crinkled at the corners, “Hi, Father.” He simpered, laying it on a little thick, unable to resist.

“Bye.” Yunho pretended he was closing the door.

“No, wait!” Mingi stopped him, “I'll be good, I promise!” 

Yunho closed the door behind himself, “Very well. Shall we?” 

The walk to the park wasn't a long one, but it felt especially quick given how easy it felt to be around Yunho. He was quick-witted and funny, sometimes verging on cheesy, but fun to talk to, keeping Mingi on his toes in a way that made him feel like he had just hopped off a rollercoaster. Alive, heart pumping, cheeks hurting from laughter, hair swept back from the wind. Once they found Mingi’s favorite park bench overlooking the pond, he pulled noise-cancelling headphones out of his backpack, handing them to Yunho. 

“Sorry, you don't mind, do you? I'm just not ready to tell anyone besides him yet.” Mingi hoped the explanation would be good enough. 

Yunho's eyes were soft, understanding, “Of course.” He reached for them, fingers brushing Mingi’s again as he passed them over, the jolt of the contact going once again straight up Mingi’s spine. 

“Thank you.” Mingi pulled Jongho’s hoodie out of his backpack, “Can you, um. Put that on, too. I just think it will help if I feel like I'm talking to a real person.”

Yunho slipped the hoodie on, not hesitating for a second, “I'm happy to help however you need, Mingi.” He slipped on the headphones, then put the hood up over them, turning to look at Mingi and giving him a small smile and thumbs up as Mingi scrolled through songs on his phone, finally finding one he remembered Jongho liking. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears. 

“Is it too loud?” Mingi shouted, but Yunho didn't flinch or even turn his head. 

Mingi knew he could have been faking it. He knew that the man could try to listen to his confession. But for whatever reason, he knew Yunho wouldn't. He just wasn't like that. 

Mingi couldn't deny how uncanny it was to see someone else in Jongho’s hoodie with the hood up. He understood how Wooyoung must have felt when he saw Mingi in it in his kitchen a while back. He stared at Yunho for quite a while, letting his mind fall into the illusion of it being Jongho beside him instead.

He cleared his throat, “Jongho. I-” His breath hitched, a lump forming in his throat immediately, “I'm who Tuesday cheated on you with. I'm so sorry.” His voice shook as he continued, “I should have told you immediately. I'm a horrible friend. And the fucked up thing is, I only did it because I knew you would forgive me. But then I couldn't even bring myself to ask for it. And you thought it was your fault he cheated somehow. I was just trying to test his loyalty and then it got out of hand and-” He paused as a sob caught in his throat, hearing Yunho sing the song that was playing quietly under his breath, exactly like Jongho would do if he had a song stuck in his head, “I'm just so sorry, Jongho.” He couldn't go on speaking as the tears took over. The movement of his body being racked by sobs must have caught Yunho’s attention because soon, he was being pulled into the man's warm, strong embrace. 

“Shh, Mingi, it's okay. I've got you.” Gentle hands rubbed his back, “I've got you, Mingi, you're okay.” 

Mingi composed himself enough to sniffle and croak out, “I'm sorry.” 

“No, honey, don't apologize. You're okay.” Yunho cooed. 

Mingi didn't miss the pet name, but chose to ignore it for the time being. The shock and excitement of hearing it did snap him out of his tears, though. He was used to such pet names from his friends, but this felt different. 

Honey.

He finally composed himself, sitting up enough to look into Yunho's eyes, “Thank you.”

Yunho’s breath caught as he became cognizant of their proximity, “Do you feel any better?” His eyes trailed over Mingi’s lips as he asked it. 

“I really do.” Mingi thought he might lean in and kiss him, but decided to pull back last second instead, “Maybe therapy isn't a total crock of shit.” 

Yunho did a good job of hiding his confusion, covering it with a laugh, “I'm glad you're going to therapy, Mingi. I hope it's helpful to you. I think it shows a great deal of love for yourself to seek out help when you need it.” 

“I hadn't thought about it that way.” Mingi confessed. 

“Do you not think you love yourself?” Yunho asked, his deep voice soft as silk. 

Mingi considered the question. I did just try to off myself. “I don't know. I think I'm trying to. Or I want to try. Which is better than could be said about me two months ago.” 

“Hmm.” Yunho studied him, “I think that even trying or wanting to try shows that you already do. Are you going to try, Mingi?” 

I'd do anything you asked me to.

Yunho’s expression changed to one of curiosity, like he had just witnessed something he wasn't supposed to have seen, “There! Just then. You seem like you're here with me and then I'll lose you out of nowhere. Where is it you're going?”

“I probably just had to sneeze or something.” Mingi lied, feeling cagey, like he was being backed into a corner. 

He's lost it.

“That was it again just now!” Yunho was teasing but Mingi felt the end of his nose get tickly with frustration. 

“You're being weird.” Mingi was deflecting. He just wasn't used to feeling so seen. 

Yunho’s face fell, “Sorry. I didn't mean to offend-”

“It’s fine.” Mingi snapped, “Thank you for helping me, can I have the hoodie back now? I'm ready to go home.” 

“Yeah, of course, sorry…” Yunho trailed off, looking embarrassed that he had just gotten scolded. 

He took the hoodie off carefully, handling it like it was a sacred artifact. Which to Mingi, it was. 

“‘S fine.” Mingi mumbled as he started to put the hoodie in his backpack, but stopped as a chilly breeze blew in, deciding to wear it instead. 

They walked back to the rectory in silence, both of them evidently with a lot on their minds. 

“I actually have something for you.” Yunho said a little hesitantly as they arrived, going inside to retrieve it. 

“Um. Okay.” Mingi didn't know what to say. 

Yunho handed him a Bible, well-worn and almost excessively annotated, “I, uh. Highlighted some of my favorite parts.”

Mingi tried to refuse, “Oh, I mean, I really don't-” 

“Read it.” Yunho all but pleaded, “For me, Mingi. Trust me. I'm not trying to make you believe. It's just really well written in some parts.” 

Mingi reached up and took the book into his hands. It felt weird. Almost like he could feel the book breathe in time with Yunho. “Okay. Yes, Father.”

Yunho rolled his eyes, “You really have to stop saying that.”

“Because it turns you on?”

“Because it turns you on.” Yunho parried, eyes leveling with Mingi’s, his stare unwavering. 

Both things are true. 

Mingi blinked, not denying it. 

“Call me if you want to talk about any of it or have any questions or anything.” Yunho offered, referring to the Bible, breaking the heated silence all at once. 

“I will.” Mingi didn't know what else to say. ‘Thanks’ felt wrong because he wasn't quite sure he was thankful for the book. “Thanks again for going with me today. I'll, um. See you.” 

“Anytime. Really. Bye, Mingi.” Yunho looked like he didn't really want him to go. “Be safe.” 

Holy shit he was not joking. 

Mingi felt scandalous as he lay in bed, reading some of the most toe curling, shocking, dark and sexy literature he'd ever read in his life. From what was supposed to be a holy book. 

He didn't hesitate to call when he needed context for a particular story. Or, maybe he just wanted to hear Yunho’s voice. 

“Mingi.” Yunho answered the phone, though it was past his bedtime, voice raspy with drowsiness. 

“So what's the significance of washing feet? It seems kinky to be honest.” 

Yunho chuckled, “I'm sure it easily could have been. It's a sign of respect. Reverence. Mary Magdalene didn't have the proper supplies but she was determined to do it. She presented herself to him anyway. Worshipped him with what she had. Judgement from others be damned, she did it with the faith that Jesus would understand and not be so caught up in the how but instead understanding of the why.”

“A calculated risk.” Mingi thought he understood.

“Yes.” Yunho's breath picked up slightly on the other end of the line, “A surrender.” 

Mingi couldn’t help that he was getting aroused at Yunho's words and his voice. He let out a tiny whimper unwittingly, touching himself through his boxers.

“I think I understand her.” Mingi confessed. 

Mingi heard a faint rustling - bedsheets, he assumed - on the other line before Yunho spoke again, deep voice barely above a whisper, “How so?”

“I just…” He took a shaky breath, “Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me what to do. I fucked it up for so long on my own. I think it would be nice for someone else to take the reins for me.”

“Mingi-” Yunho spoke his name like a prayer. “Say what you’re asking of me. I need to hear you say it.”

“Please. Tell me what to do, Father.” Mingi exposed his desires, laying himself naked at Yunho’s feet.

Metaphorically.

He palmed himself harder, not giving himself the satisfaction of skin to skin contact yet. 

Yunho hesitated, taking an excruciatingly long deep breath, before finally, “That’s it, very good. I knew you could say it. Are you already touching yourself, Mingi?”

“Not yet,” Mingi whined, “I'm trying to be good.”

“Good boy.” Yunho growled, “Just do what I say, okay?” 

Fucking hell.

“Okay.” 

“‘Okay?’” Yunho sounded put out, “Do I need to teach you manners, too, darling?” 

“No, sir.” Mingi’s considerable length was threatening to rip a hole through his boxers, “Sorry… Father. I'll be good.” 

“I know you will. You're already so responsive. I can hear your breath shaking. Why don't you show me how much you like this, hm? Take your underwear off for me, gorgeous.” 

“Yes, sir.” Mingi obeyed, then decided to pop his airpods at the last second, knowing he would want to be hands-free at some point. 

“Let me see. I bet you're already leaking just at the sound of my voice, aren't you?” 

Mingi whimpered at the truth of it, turning on his lamp to get the lighting right as he fisted his throbbing cock, making sure to capture the glint of the shiny pearl of pre-cum already having had gathered at the tip. “Yes, sir. Just look.” He sent the photo. 

He swore he heard Yunho muffle a whine on the other line, “Christ, Mingi, what the hell am I going to do with you?” It was rhetorical, but Mingi answered anyway. 

“Cum with me, I hope.” 

Yunho laughed, the sound of it strained as Mingi could hear the slick noise of lube being applied in the background, “Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. I plan on it. Go ahead and touch yourself. Close your eyes and listen to my voice. I want you to pretend that's my hand that's stroking your pretty cock, baby.” 

“Yes, sir.” Mingi whined as he spit into his hand and grasped himself genuinely, working the pre-cum that had spilled out down his length for extra lubrication. 

“I love how you sound, honey.” Yunho groaned, “Such sweet noises from that pretty mouth of yours.” His voice was becoming strained, “I've thought about your lips since I met you. How plush they are. How they'd feel on mine.” 

Mingi’s pace quickened at the man's words. Every nerve on fire, senses alight. “Please, I want that so bad, Yunho.” 

“How they would feel wrapped around my cock.” He gasped on the other line. 

“Please, I'll do anything-”

“Tell me how my hand feels around you, baby.” Yunho instructed. 

“You feel incredible, Yunho. I'm- I'm getting close.” Mingi’s hips bucked and he knew he wouldn't last long. 

“Fuck, Mingi.” Yunho whined, “Me, too.” 

“Wish you were here.” Mingi all but sobbed.

“I know. I know, I do, too.” Yunho panted, “Go ahead and let go for me, angel. Cum all over my hand.” 

Mingi let out a noise that would make a nun faint and a seasoned war veteran blush, releasing endless amounts of thick, hot liquid onto his hand and stomach, breathing hard from the effort, calling out, “Yunho-” at his release.

“Mingi-ahh!” Yunho echoed him. Mingi knew he would become easily addicted to the sound of the man’s pleasure if he ever got to hear it again. 

“Thank you.” Mingi said, catching his breath, voice sounding small, sated. 

“No, thank you, jagi. You were so good for me, honey.” Yunho, too, was out of breath as he praised him from the other line, “Are you okay? That wasn't too much?”

“It was so good, Yunho.” Mingi breathed, “I feel safe with you.” He couldn’t believe he admitted it. 

“Mmh, I'm so glad, baby.” Yunho's voice was warm on the other line, so close that Mingi could almost feel him in the room with him. 

“Yunho?” 

“What is it, sweetheart?” Yunho’s dulcet tones soothed Mingi’s nerves like a balm. 

“Can you. Um.” Mingi swallowed, “Nevermind.”

“No, what is it, angel? Do you want me to stay on while you fall asleep?” Yunho sounded so concerned, so sweet. 

“Is that too much to ask?”

“No, of course not. I'm happy to do it. I enjoy any time I get to spend with you, Mingi.” Mingi's heart warmed at the vulnerability of the statement. 

“Me, too, Yunho.” He smiled, finished cleaning himself and curled up into bed, fluffy duvet falling over his shoulder, half wishing Yunho was there behind him. 

“Sleep well, Mingi.” Yunho yawned, “Sweet dreams.” 

“Goodnight, Yuyu.” Mingi was only half-conscious of letting the nickname slip out. 

“Mmh.” Yunho sighed, “What am I going to do with you, Mingi.” 

But Mingi was already asleep. 

December 19th

Mingi sank down once again onto his therapist's couch, feeling a little nervous, but also excited to report that things had gone well talking to his friend last week. And it was true. Mingi had to admit that he had felt somewhat of a weight off of his shoulders after confessing.

Maybe the Catholics are onto something. 

“I'm expecting an A+.” Mingi quipped as his therapist entered the room. 

She tried to maintain her professional air but Mingi caught the slight upward curl of her lip, clearly amused, “I'm sorry, Mingi, I don't give out grades. But I'm assuming that means you did your ‘homework’ as you called it?” 

“I did.” Mingi nodded. 

“How do you feel afterwards?” She asked, leaning forward. 

“I feel… like it was the right thing to do.” He sighed, “I had a new friend - well, I’m not sure I can really call him a friend, but that’s all he can be - help me out. I’ve been trying to ask for help when I need it. It’s hard for me, but I’m doing it. I just feel so embarrassed when I do ask for it. But this new friend of mine… I don’t mind asking him for help. I want him to help me. I want, like, a lot of things from him, though.” Mingi felt that he was rambling, stopping himself before he said something he wasn’t even ready to admit to himself. 

“Hmm.” His therapist had been taking notes, but stopped to meet his eye, “When you said all you could be is friends, what does that mean?”

“He’s a priest.”

Her eyes went wide, something that Mingi found amusing, knowing how hard she tried to keep a poker face with him, “So it’s forbidden.”

“Sacrilege, yes.” 

“That’s part of what appeals to you about it, though.” It was technically a question but she said it as a statement. 

“I, um.” Mingi felt himself become a little overwhelmed, “I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. But yes, I’m sure it plays a part.” He knew she was right as soon as she had said it. 

“And it’s mutual?”

Mingi’s ears went hot at the thought of just how mutual it had been the other night.

If only she knew.

“It’s definitely mutual.” He confirmed, hoping he wasn’t being too candid. 

"We're supposed to be talking about your suicide attempt." She fixed him with a stony expression.

"Aw, come on, please let me talk about boys!" He whined.

“Well, okay. Next time.” She considered, “You’re both adults. He knows the risks as much as you do. As long as it’s consensual and enjoyable and you are fully aware that there’s a significant if not one-hundred percent chance that he’s going to choose God over you in the end, I don’t really see how it’s an issue. If you think you can handle it, emotionally. See where it goes.”

“I’m not sure I can handle it. But I also don’t think I can handle not trying to explore it.” 

“Ah, yes, isn’t that Tennyson? ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’” She quoted a line from a poem Mingi vaguely thought he had heard before. Regardless, it fit exactly how he was feeling about everything. “Yeah. I think that’s it exactly. I’ve had that mindset for a long time, actually. But before I got to the point where I wanted to end things, it came from a different place.”

“How so?” 

“I guess because it was never mutual before. I would follow any thread pretty recklessly, knowing how I would be left on the other side, but going anyway. Fully cognizant of the fact that these whims had no concern for my well-being. I think it was a form of self-flagellation. But now that I’m learning to love myself, it’s different, I guess. It’s safe to love the priest because it has to end, not because it won’t. The predetermination of it is the perfect out.”

She studied him, absorbing what he had just said, “I think you’re too self-aware for your own good, Mingi.” She smiled, a first, “Why do you think you find comfort in the fact that it has to end?”

Mingi chuckled, “I don’t know. I think because I’m not ready to do anything more than microdose love. At least not yet. And I can also tell that this is going to set the standard for me going forward.” 

“But you’re still hesitating. Why?”

“I’m fucking scared. I’m half convinced I’m lying to myself about every justification I just gave you.” Mingi let his head tip back to the back of the couch, emotionally exhausted. 

“I think you’ve already made up your mind about it, though. And if you want my two cents, which, I’m assuming you do, I think it’s okay to be scared. It’s good to do scary things. Within limits, of course. But I think letting yourself be loved, even briefly, and although yes, very scary, it’s still a beautiful thing.” 

“I thought you would try to stop me.” Mingi raised an eyebrow at her. 

“I fear that only would have driven you towards it faster. Plus, it’s not my job to try to stop you. It’s my job to help you through it.” 

I’m going to fuck the hot priest.

December 24th

It had been a few days since he had heard too much from Yunho, at least outside of the few texts they sent back and forth each day. His therapist’s words rattled around in his head the whole time. He’d been doing a lot of letting himself be seen lately and it wasn’t the easiest, but at least he paid her for it. When it was Yunho, it felt raw, exhilarating. 

The bar was closed for Christmas - and it was still rather early in the morning - so Mingi was home, and very surprised when his phone buzzed. 

Father Daddy Yunho 

I have a very specific priest-related crisis that I need your help with, please

Me

An in-person emergency?

Father Daddy Yunho

Yes, please hurry. 

I’ll order coffee if you pick it up on your way over.

Did I mention pretty please? 

Me

Only because you asked so nicely. 

Mingi struggled to knock with two large coffees in his hand, but luckily, Yunho was antsy and had been waiting for his arrival. 

“Oh my god, my hero!” Yunho praised him as he entered, taking his coffee cup from Mingi. 

They hadn’t talked much about their activities the other night, but it didn’t really bother Mingi, mostly because Yunho hadn’t just completely ghosted him and had treated him as normal as things had ever been between the two of them in the days following. 

“What’s this emergency?” Mingi asked, making himself at home on the couch. 

Yunho blushed and Mingi had to restrain himself from launching himself at the man and kissing his rosy cheeks to make the blush even worse. “I’m way overthinking it, but I need help choosing which vestment and chasuble to wear for the Christmas Eve service tonight.” 

Mingi’s face lit up, “Fashion show!” He giggled, watching Yunho’s face crack open with a smile at his excitement. 

Yunho looked good in everything, and Mingi told the man as much as he showed him option after option while they drank their coffees and chatted about nothing. But the dark green robes with cream and gold accents were so lovely on him that Mingi declared them the winners. 

“For someone who claims to not be religious, you sure do seem nervous for tonight.” Mingi chided him lightheartedly. 

“I’m not religious.” Yunho looked at him seriously, his eyes seeming to search Mingi’s for some sign of understanding.

“And I’m still fascinated by that claim.” Mingi replied, settling into the couch, waiting for an explanation. 

Yunho crossed over and sat down next to Mingi on the couch, “I grew up hating everything about religion. Catholicism, in particular. I still am very critical of it. For me, being a priest is like a vegan who chooses to work in a slaughterhouse because they trust themselves to be more humane in the animal’s last moments than someone else would be. Sacrificing their morals in order to save them. If I weren’t in this position, someone else would be, and at least I can trust myself to not be the stereotype of a Catholic priest.”

Mingi considered this, “Well, don’t they say the last person who would ask for power is the first person who should be given it? I think that it’s admirable of you, Yunho.”

Yunho smiled, but his eyes still held something Mingi couldn’t quite put a finger on, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. But in all honesty, Mingi, I don’t know what I would have done, don’t know what would have happened, had I not chosen this path. I…” He took a deep breath, finding Mingi’s eyes once again, “I have a very addictive personality, Mingi. This was the only way I felt like I could trust myself. And it’s worked, so far.”

“So far.” Mingi echoed him, studying every single square inch of his face, suddenly hit with the realization that he wouldn’t have forever with the man beside him to ever fully memorize it. Mourning what he had yet to lose. 

“You scare the shit out of me, Mingi.” Yunho confessed, hand finding Mingi’s own, thumb tracing softly over his knuckles. 

Mingi swallowed, feeling like he had just been hit with a truck at the confirmation that Yunho had it just as bad for him. He drew his hand back, “Maybe we…” He tried to blink back the tears he could feel pricking at the corners of his eyes, “I’m sorry, it’s all too much, I have to go. I’m sorry, Yunho.”

Yunho looked like a puppy who had just been kicked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, it’s not your fault, I promise. I’m just- It’s just too much right now…”

“I understand.” Yunho cast his eyes down to the floor, “I’ll leave you alone, Mingi. I’m sorry.” 

Mingi turned and stood up, heading out the door without a backwards glance as his tears finally began to fall. 

December 30th

Mingi dreaded tonight. Rehearsal dinner. He was so excited and happy for Hongjoong and Seonghwa, of course. Happy to see his friends. But he knew Yunho would be there, and they hadn’t talked since Christmas. 

Mingi had gone to Christmas mass the next night. He watched from a pew at the very back as Yunho spoke, followed along the best he could to all the standing and kneeling and singing. He was mesmerized by all of it. Yunho was good at his job. He had made eye contact with Mingi from his spot at the pulpit, and his gaze said more than his words. He looked apologetic. Mingi realized he would never try to convince the man to leave the church for him. That was where he belonged. 

It didn’t help him stop yearning for him, though. In fact, it made it all the worse. 

Besides the night he had seen Yunho in his Spiderman pajamas, and his brief donning of Jongho’s hoodie, tonight was the first time Mingi had seen him in regular street clothes. 

A dark blue sweater that made his eyes look an even more rich chestnut brown, slacks and loafers. It was nothing crazy but still. 

Salt in the wound. Unable to stop the visions of the two of them together just living a normal life. Domestic bliss. A dream that would never be actualized. 

To make things even worse, Yunho seemed to be trying to spare him that night. Intentionally ignoring Mingi, avoiding eye contact.  

He left early, while Mingi was in the bathroom. 

Bastard. 

Mingi had manners and waited until everyone else was leaving, said proper goodbyes, Wooyoung and San keeping an eagle eye on him. 

“Everything okay, Mingi?” Wooyoung asked as he hugged him bye. 

Mingi sighed, “It’s kind of a long story.”

San smiled gently at him, “We’re all ears if you need to talk about it.” 

He looked between his two friends, reminding himself of the promise he had made, “I’m sort of in love with the priest.”

Wooyoung and San made identical shocked faces, the former snapping out of it to start barraging him with questions, “Are you guys together? You’re not going to make him lose his job, right? Is it mutual?!” 

Mingi groaned, “Ugh, no. We’re not together. It’s absolutely mutual. Not that either of us have said it. We both know how it will end. But we both want to do something about it. Like. Bad. Something besides the phone sex.” 

San high-fived him, “Hell yeah, nice.”

Wooyoung glowered at his boyfriend, “You both are such bros sometimes, it’s hard to remember you’re bisexual.” 

Mingi and San looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh. Wooyoung rolled his eyes, “Mingi. I’m sure you’ve already made up your mind. And judging by the way he completely ignored you tonight, I’m sure Yunho is on the same page.”

“He’s right.” San nodded, “Just please, don’t take it too hard on the other side. And remember we’re here for you. Don’t you dare start isolating again when this inevitably ends like I’m sure you’re both well aware it will.” 

“I know.” Mingi sighed. As much as he knew that logically, there was only one way things between he and Yunho could end, there was still the smallest glimmer of delusional hope that reared its ugly head every single time the inexorable end was mentioned. “I promise, I won’t try to deal with the aftermath alone. You guys just have to promise you won’t hate me if I’m mopey and miserable for a little while.”

Wooyoung scoffed, “Mingi, we could never hate you. There’s no reality where you’re too much for us. I know we didn’t have the best way of showing it, but I promise you, we love you so much and we want to be there for you. Just like I know you want to be there for us.” 

“It’s what family is for.” San agreed. Mingi couldn’t help but feel his heart warm at his wording. Really, they were his family. He was finally starting to believe they always would be. 

“I love you guys.” Mingi admitted, hugging them tight before darting off towards the fate that awaited him at his favorite priest’s living quarters. 

“Good luck!” They called after him. 

Mingi arrived to the rectory out of breath and sweating under the layers he was wearing. 

It felt like an eternity after he knocked before the door swung open, revealing a red-nosed, puffy eyed Yunho.

“Mingi, you shouldn't be here.” Yunho couldn’t even look Mingi in the eye when he said it. 

“I’ll leave. If you actually want me to.” Mingi took a step closer, removing his coat and scarf, tossing them inside, all but demanding to be let it. 

Yunho sighed, moving out of the doorway, closing the door softly behind Mingi. Clicking the lock into place. 

“Are you finished ignoring me now?” Mingi asked, edging closer to Yunho's personal space. 

The priest finally leveled his eyes to Mingi’s, “I could never ignore you, Mingi.” He moved microscopically closer, the air between them sparking with electricity, “I was trying to make it easier on you. Given how you left the other day. I didn't want to push your boundaries.” 

Mingi leaned further in, “You scare the hell out of me, Yunho.” He quoted the man back to himself, “Yet here I am. I can't stay away. I've read the book. I know the end.”

Yunho’s eyelids fluttered as he reached forward, taking Mingi's hand in his own, bringing it up to his lips, kissing each knuckle slowly. 

“Like a lamb to slaughter.” Yunho whispered, his breath tickling the back of Mingi’s hand. 

“No,” Mingi gasped as Yunho worked his way up the inside of his forearm, “No, I feel like a lamb who trusts his shepherd. But neither of us can help that we're surrounded by wolves.” 

“Blind faith.” Yunho's voice was deep, unwavering. 

“Isn't that the only way to reach heaven?” Mingi asked. 

Yunho placed Mingi’s hand that he was still holding onto his chest. Mingi could feel his heart beat through the fabric of his sweater, perfectly in time with his own. The priest leaned in, lips barely whispering over Mingi’s as he spoke, “You'll let me take you there?” 

Mingi felt the desire for the man in front of him in every fiber of his being, “Please, Yunho.” 

Time stood still as Yunho pressed his lips to Mingi’s for the first time. They were soft and warm, reverent as they explored him. There was something desperate about how they slotted together, savoring each movement, neither of them in a rush, despite the knowledge that they were on borrowed time. 

Mingi felt like he had just jumped off a cliff. Free falling. Yunho would catch him, he knew. Even if it was brief. His feet would hit the ground hard, come morning. But tonight he would relish in the exhilaration. The head rush of lying prostrate at the feet of the man with whom he was in love, but would never have the privilege of loving. 

The kiss deepened, heads turning to the side for better access, bodies pressing together, desperate to feel, to touch. To worship. 

A soft moan escaped Mingi’s lips as Yunho guided his tongue inside to explore the other's mouth. Mapping it out, committing it to memory. Mingi's hands found purchase in the silky hair at the nape of Yunho's neck, fingernails scraping lightly at his scalp. He thought he might die at the noise that left the man’s mouth at his touch. It was almost too much. Mingi felt his head starting to swim and pulled back to catch his breath. 

He was caught off guard, though he shouldn't have been, at how beautiful Yunho looked with flushed cheeks and plump, parted lips, blood red and shiny with spit. 

“You okay?” Yunho asked gently, caressing Mingi’s face softly with his elegant hands. 

Mingi shivered at his feather light touch, “I just needed a second.” 

Yunho peered straight into his soul, a feeling with which Mingi was becoming familiar. “Come sit down.” He backed away, leading Mingi by his hand to the couch. 

Mingi sat, peering up at Yunho through his eyelashes, waiting for further instruction. 

Yunho dipped down and kissed him sweetly on his forehead, “You trust me?”

“Fully.” Mingi breathed. 

“I'll be right back.” Yunho stood, heading into his kitchen. 

Mingi heard the water running in the sink and couldn't help but be curious. 

Yunho arrived a few moments later with an intricately designed metal basin full of warm water, soap and a couple of towels in hand. Mingi was speechless. He could have giggled, been embarrassed, felt too shy or silly to continue. He would have, had it been anyone else kneeling in front of him. Yunho’s sweater was rolled up to his elbows and Mingi couldn’t help but study his forearms and hands as he placed the towel and water basin down in front of Mingi, light blue veins prominent on the backs of his lovely hands, beautifully landscaped under soft, flawless skin. 

Yunho reached forward and rolled Mingi’s pants legs up with deft fingers. He leaned forward as he lifted Mingi’s left leg, pausing with it in front of him, practically bowing down as he began kissing softly from his ankle up to his calf, his lips barely ghosting over Mingi’s skin. He released his foot into the water, which was the perfect temperature, before moving on to the next one. Mingi’s head tipped back and his eyes closed at the intimacy of it. But as he felt Yunho’s hands find his left foot once more, lifting it so he could wash it properly, he opened them to watch, not wanting to miss a moment of the man’s act. Yunho’s brow was ever so slightly furrowed in concentration as he massaged Mingi’s feet with soapy hands. He was so beautiful, a face to match the quality of his heart. Mingi’s own heart ached, and he let it. Determined to be present for every emotion that overcame him, at least this once. Just this one night. 

Being worshipped. It was the most mind-bending experience of Mingi’s life. Feeling both worthy yet completely undeserving of it simultaneously. A miracle that someone would display such devotion to him. A miracle that he would let himself allow it. Jeong Yunho, a miracle. 

Yunho lifted Mingi’s feet out of the water as he finished, moving the basin over so he could dry them off. 

“Thank you.” Yunho whispered, leaning forward to kiss the inside of Mingi’s knee, resting his head there for a second as he fixed his gaze on Mingi’s face. 

“I should be thanking you.” Mingi blinked, shocked that he was the one being thanked, “Can I wash yours as well?”

Yunho shook his head, “No, Mingi. Thank you. But let me take care of you tonight. Please.” He stood up, pulling Mingi to his feet as well, “Can you do that for me, jagiya?” He touched Mingi’s cheek, and Mingi felt himself lean into it. 

“Yes. I want that, Yunho.” Mingi met his eye, “Please.” He let the word hover in the air.

Yunho smiled, “Follow me.” 

Mingi was led to a part of the rectory he had never seen before. A small, cozy bedroom in the hallway behind the kitchen. The bedroom was exactly what one might picture a bedroom in a Catholic church to look like. Mingi highly doubted Yunho had chosen much of the decor, certainly not the four-poster bed. Yunho led him over, stopping at the side of the bed to pull Mingi in for another kiss, his hands reaching up to start unbuttoning Mingi’s dress shirt, then followed with his own sweater. Mingi gaped at the priest’s body, looking like it could just as easily be carved from marble as it could be skin. But unlike a statue, he was soft and warm to the touch. They couldn’t stop their hands from skimming over one another’s bodies, touching everywhere that they could reach.

Yunho revered his body, fingertips lightly skimming over his hips working upwards, back to Mingi’s face, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. 

Yunho broke the kiss long enough to asess Mingi’s body, “Oh, angel, you’re so beautiful.” He reached down to begin unbuckling Mingi’s belt, “I need to see all of you.”

Mingi opened his mouth to reply but his brain went blank as Yunho guided his pants off and returned, fingers lightly grazing Mingi’s cock, which was quickly filling with blood at his touch. He whimpered as his boxers were pulled off and he was finally free, no more uncomfortable tightness. 

“You’re so lovely.” He leaned in, kissing across Mingi’s jaw, causing him to have to latch on to Yunho’s hips with his hands for balance, breath sucked out of his lungs at Yunho’s attention, “So reactive.” Yunho smiled into Mingi’s neck, then pulled back to work his own pants and underwear off. Mingi would have tried to get them off sooner, but Yunho had requested he be the one to do the caretaking, and for once in his life, Mingi wanted to do exactly as he was told. 

Yunho walked him back a couple of steps until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed, “Why don’t you lay down, Mingi? Get comfortable.”

Mingi situated himself in the middle of the bed, head on the pillows, propped up enough to where he didn’t have to strain his neck to watch whatever Yunho planned to do to him. 

Yunho placed lube and condoms within reach on the bed, then crawled in between Mingi’s legs, lifting his feet one at a time and placing the soles down flat on the mattress before slowly starting to kiss up the inside of his legs once more, nipping and marking him occasionally as he went. Mingi felt his dick hit his stomach, now painfully hard. Yunho pulled his lips off a particularly tender spot on his inner thigh, soothing the mark he had made with his tongue before leaning forward, hovering over Mingi to kiss him again, wrapping his long fingers around the other’s wrists, pinning his arms up by his head as he began kissing his way down his neck, then chest, lips landing on Mingi’s erect nipple, pulling it into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue before letting go and moving to the next one. Mingi gasped at the sensation. 

Yunho laughed sweetly into his skin, lips popping off of his nipple as he spoke, “So sensitive, baby. I love it. Wanna hear you keep making those pretty noises for me.”

“Yes, sir.” Mingi whined, “I will.” 

“Such a good boy.” Yunho praised as he sat up to apply lube to his fingers. “Mmh, god, look at you. I want to devour you.” His eyes were on Mingi’s cock when he said it, but it was still a surprise when he leaned down to lick a stripe up the underside of Mingi’s throbbing dick, flicking his tongue as he reached the tender underside of the head.

Mingi whimpered, “Fuck, please, Yunho.”

“Shh,” Yunho quieted him, “There’s no rush, darling. I want to make you feel so good.” His finger started tracing circles around Mingi’s rim, “You still trust me to do that, right?”

“God-” Mingi gasped as Yunho’s tongue found the tip of his cock again, “Fuck. Yes, sir. I trust you.”

“Good,” Yunho’s finger began applying pressure, slipping inside as Mingi relaxed, “I’m so glad.”

Mingi was right to have admired Yunho’s hands. His fingers were incredible, long with prominent knuckles, reaching deep inside of Mingi, the sensation almost being too much to handle. As Yunho worked his second finger inside, his mouth found the head of Mingi’s leaking cock once again, taking it inside, moaning at how Mingi filled him up. Both men were large. Mingi was glad for Yunho’s fingers after seeing just how stuffed full of Yunho he would be very soon. Yunho’s fingers found Mingi’s prostate, applying pressure there in time with the bobbing of his head as he sucked Mingi’s cock down, acting more protestant than priest in that moment. 

“Yunho, ‘m gonna cum if you keep doing that!” Mingi warned as his hips bucked in response to the attention Yunho was giving him. 

Yunho pulled off, the release of his mouth off of Mingi’s dick making a faint pop noise, “Well, we can’t have that yet, can we?” He added a third finger, scissoring them open to ensure Mingi was fully prepped to take him. 

“No, please, not yet. Want you inside.” Mingi almost felt panicked at the idea of cumming without Yunho buried deep inside of him. 

Yunho smiled, reaching for the condom, “As you wish.” 

“Wait,” Mingi stopped Yunho as he tried to rip the packet open, “I’m clean, I swear. Can I please take you raw?”

Yunho growled, “Fuck, Mingi, you must be trying to kill me.” But despite his words, he tossed the condom to the side and reached for the lube instead, “I’d love to, honey.” 

Yunho lined himself up, leaning down to kiss Mingi again before he began his slow venture inside.

It was unlike any feeling Mingi had ever had in his life. Completely at Yunho’s mercy. Surrendering himself. The sensation of being filled, split in half, washed over him, tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes as Yunho finally, decadently, buried himself to the hilt. “God, Mingi, you took me so well, darling.” He kissed the tears off of Mingi’s cheeks, “Still doing okay?”

“I’m perfect.” Mingi sighed, overwhelmed at how content he felt as he was speared within an inch of his life. 

“I think that might actually be true.” Yunho muttered, “You feel like you were made for me. Can I move now?”

“Yes, god, please move, Yunho.” Mingi begged. 

The first pump of his hips and Mingi saw stars. He savored every sensation, Yunho’s cock gliding in and out, reaching the depths of Mingi’s insides. 

Mingi canted his hips so they met Yunho’s motion in the middle, their bodies slamming together, becoming desperate in their pursuit of release. 

“Fuck, Mingi-” Yunho gasped as he fucked into him harder, motion still slow and languid, his talented fingers wrapping around Mingi’s desperate cock, stroking him in time with his hips. “Feel so good. Sucking me in like that.”

“Yunho-” Mingi moaned, lost in the sensation, “God, Yunho-yah.”

“Mmh, that’s right. Say my name, baby. I love hearing it.” Yunho’s pace quickened, highlighting his point. 

“Yunho, please,” Mingi babbled, completely cockdrunk, “Want you to fill me up. Please, Yunho-”

“Oh I will, sweetheart.” Yunho grunted, adjusting Mingi���s hips ever so slightly, getting the angle just right, “You have to cum with me though. Can you do that?”

“Yes, fuck, yes, Yunho, please.” Mingi’s voice was weak, demonstrating exactly how deprived he felt. 

“So close-” Yunho pumped his hips a few more times, harder than ever, his pace faltering, before he finally let go, “Fuck, Mingi-” 

Mingi was nothing if not obedient, crying out as he released over Yunho’s hand and his own stomach. 

Yunho slumped over Mingi as he came down, pulling out slowly before falling to the bed beside him. Mingi reached out hesitantly, not knowing exactly why he was feeling shy after having the man deep inside of him just seconds ago. Yunho smiled, sensing Mingi’s caution, wrapping his arms around him and tucking him snugly to his chest. 

“Mingi, you can touch me, honey. Come here.” He kissed Mingi’s temple, “You were amazing, baby. So perfect for me.” 

“Yeah?” Mingi asked softly, feeling a little raw after that experience. 

“Yes, angel. Was it okay? I wasn’t too rough?” Yunho asked, his voice pitching up with concern for Mingi’s well-being. 

“No, it was wonderful.” Mingi sighed, “Incredible.”

“Good.” Yunho tilted his chin up to kiss him again, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Mingi asked, not understanding. 

Yunho tucked Mingi’s head under his chin, stroking his hair, “Just… thank you. For everything. For coming into my life. For letting me into yours.” 

“I would do it all over again, Yunho. Every single time.” Mingi confessed, surprising himself with his candor. 

“Me, too, Mingi.” Yunho kissed the crown of his head, “In every lifetime.” 

They showered together afterwards, taking any last opportunity to touch one another freely, knowing their time together was ticking away faster than either of them would like, or care to admit. They didn’t acknowledge it, not outright. But it was understood by both of them that it was best to not worry about it before it happened. 

“Hm?”

Back in bed together, limbs tangled, breath soft on one another’s skin as they relaxed into the embrace, Mingi couldn’t help but breach the silent contract they had made.

“Yunho?” He dared to whisper. 

“That story about Lot’s wife and how she was told not to look back as she left Sodom and Gomorrah, lest she be turned into a pillar of salt?” 

Yunho nodded, “What about it?”

“I keep thinking about it. I already know I’m going to look, too. I won’t be able to help it, Yunho.” He drew the priest closer to himself, though it was nearly impossible to do so, considering how tightly they were clinging to one another already.

Yunho traced soft, comforting patterns over Mingi’s back, “I know, Mingi. I won’t either.”

Neither of them dared to elaborate further before letting themselves fall asleep. They didn’t need to. They understood each other perfectly as it was. 

December 31st

It was a beautiful wedding. Mingi let himself be pulled into the joy of it all that day, concentrating on anything that offered itself up. Anything to take his mind off of the fact that this was the last time he would see Yunho. Hard to do when he was the star of the show during the ceremony. He looked beautiful up there, at the flower adorned pulpit, wearing the same dark green robes as he had worn for Christmas, this time with a slightly different chasuble, this one embroidered with wildflowers in every color. A subtle hint to a rainbow, if Mingi had to guess. Sweet of him, really. 

“When I first met Hongjoong and Seonghwa, heard the story of how they met, how their love developed and turned into what it is today, I knew that the tired Bible verses everyone uses for weddings wouldn’t be suitable. ‘Love is patient, love is kind…’ and yes, don’t get me wrong. This couple demonstrates great patience and kindness to one another. But love is also vulnerable. It’s terrifying. It’s not only a feeling, but also a verb. As you fall deeper into it, you start to build a contract with one another. Committing to act on that love again and again, circumstances be damned. Love isn’t something weak people do.” Yunho’s eyes found Mingi’s in the front row pew at that sentence. “Life may get hard, but the love itself has to come easily. And after spending time with the couple here in front of me today, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that these two are built for it.” 

Yeosang looked up at Mingi from his position beside him, seeing the tears roll freely down his face, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze before lacing his fingers into Mingi’s own. Mingi knew he understood. Wooyoung and San are bad at keeping secrets. But he was okay with the fact that his friends knew. Happy for it, even. He would be needing them. 

“I’ve seen it in the little things, like how Seonghwa makes sure that Hongjoong has eaten. Or how Hongjoong makes Seonghwa laugh with only a certain look in his eye. But it’s also in the big things. Through life events that easily could have torn them apart. They weathered the storms and came out on the other side stronger. These two here before me today are some of the most brave and courageous people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. I’m beyond happy to declare them husbands.” 

Cheers and applause echoed off the stone walls of the church, Mingi’s amongst them. 

Mingi stepped outside of the reception, pulling his coat around his shoulders as he leaned against the wall of the building. He hadn’t told his friends he needed some air this time, but that was because he knew someone else would follow him outside. 

Yunho’s weight settled against his shoulder as he joined him against the wall. 

“You’ve really found your calling, Yunho.” Mingi complimented him. 

Yunho chuckled, “Feels more like a curse than a calling at this very moment.”

Mingi turned his head to look at the priest’s stunning profile, committing it to memory. “No, don’t think of it like that. I’m sure we’ve done this before, in a different life. I’m sure we’ll do it again in another one. Hopefully, the next.”

Yunho smiled, turning his head to meet Mingi’s gaze, “Let’s agree now to just both be accountants or something in the next one.”

Mingi laughed despite himself, fighting the urge to sink his claws into Yunho and never let go. Reach in and pluck his own rib out to breathe life into something that never had a chance in the first place. “Deal.” Mingi blinked back tears, “I love you, Yunho. For whatever it’s worth.”

“I-” 

“No.” Mingi cut him off, “Let’s just sit with that for a second. I love you.” 

The moment felt exactly like midnight in the early winter, on a night where you could tell it was going to snow. Quiet. Crisp. Still. The anticipation building slowly. 

“I love you.” Mingi repeated a third time after the moment passed.

Yunho reached up, wiping the tear that had escaped off of Mingi’s cheekbone, “It’ll pass.”

“Are you sure I can’t just shrink myself down and live inside your heart? So we could be together?” Mingi scrambled at the last minute, searching for ways to prolong this inevitable moment. 

Yunho’s eyes watered at his words, “You already do live there, Mingi. You have since I first laid eyes on you.” He pushed off the brick wall to stand in front of Mingi, letting his hand fall down to grab Mingi’s, pulling it up to kiss his knuckles once more, “I love you, too.” He dropped Mingi’s hand. “Until our next life, then.” He turned away, seeming to walk in slow motion. Mingi turned, too, walking back towards the door inside. 

He turned back.

Yunho had looked back over his shoulder. 

They held each other’s gaze for one last moment before turning once more and going their separate ways. 

Neither of them turned into pillars of salt.

[chasteandpregnantmale]

The immaculate conception of Michael Part 2

Part 1

https://www.tumblr.com/chasteandpregnantmale/757152881792139264/the-immaculate-conception-of-michael-part-1?source=share

Part 2

It was about the middle of May that he went to see Bro Bernard again, convinced that there was something going on with him.   He had begun to feel a fluttering sensation in his belly which was a most weird experience.   He was surprised by the senior monk’s reaction.   He said they must both go and see the Abbot.   Bro Bernard phoned through to see if he was free.  He was.  It was a phone call he was expecting and was already prepared for what he would say to the young monk.

“Brother Aidan, you find yourself in a position of deep privilege.   It is Brother Bernard’s belief that through the actions of the prayer said over you last Advent Sunday in which we prayed that you might enable Jan and Jon to start a family, you have either Couvade Syndrome or, you are in fact pregnant.   In view of your latest symptoms, it would appear to be the latter, with the baby moving in your man womb.   God has indeed been good to you, Jon and Jan.”

Aidan was speechless.   The Abbot noticed his hand going to his bump.   The Abbot continued:

“This is a surprise for all of us.  I think the best way to deal with this is for you to show your blossoming body to the community at Evensong tonight.   I will ask the brothers not to go talking to others about it.   We don’t particularly want the press hounding us as this is pretty unusual, though not unique Brother Bernard tells me.   You are to carry on as normal in the community.   If one of our visitors tells the outside world, that is a risk we have to take.   I suggest you spend the time until Evensong in your cell and think about all these things and the great privilege God has granted you in carrying this child.   Your meals will be brought to you so that your contemplation is not disturbed.   Now, if you kneel Brother Bernard and I will pray over you for a spirit of grace to face this news with fortitude and peace.

Brother Bernard noticed how wisely the Abbot had dealt with the issue, skirting round the actual truth of it all being planned and with no mention at all of his dream on the night of Brother Aidans profession that set it all off.

As for Aidan, he went to his cell feeling very calm. The prayer of the Abbot and Bro Bernard had been very helpful.    He felt a huge relief now that he knew what was going on with his body.   He knew he shouldn’t be thinking this, but he was so pleased he wasn’t just putting on weight.  He was carrying a baby.   A BABY.   That was at the same time both scary and wonderful.   He was so pleased that Jan and Jon would finally become parents through his help.  

Aidan couldn’t work out why he felt such a deep peace as he sat on his bed with his right hand on his bump.   He had taken off his habit and sat just in his underwear.   He realised that he should be very scared.  This was unheard of, surely.  Certainly, he had never heard of it.   How could a man carry a child?   Was his life in danger?   How would the birth happen?  It would have to be by C-section surely? But none of this could shake that deep sense of peace and deep gratitude that he had this amazing sign that he was working for God and doing his will

So when the time for Evensong came, the monk with the quickly thickening midsection arrived in his stall very calmly.  It was almost as though he was floating on air.  He had never felt such tranquillity and enjoyed such a state of grace.   He felt totally in the moment and had no other thoughts distracting his mind except to be in the presence of God and doing his will.    The day of reflection in his cell had convinced him that what was happening to him was God’s will and entirely right.   

After the first lesson, the Abbot stood and announced that before the Magnificat (the Song of Joy  Mary sang when the angel announced she was going to give birth to God’s Son) there was an announcement he wished to make.

“There has been something of a miracle occurring in this community over the last few months” he stated.   He asked Brother Aidan to join him in front of the stalls.   The Abbot took him by the shoulders and turned him so that most of the community could see him in profile.   He continued:

“You will know that part of Brother Aidan’s duties is the pastoral care of Jan and Jon, who I have invited here this evening.   We all know that they are very much wanting to start a family. We prayed over our young brother as he began his new role with them that God would use him as a vehicle for them to conceive.   We had no idea at the time what, if anything would come to pass.  After all, none of us know the mind of God.   

“You will have noticed that Brother Aidan has been filling out in the last couple of months as brothers sometimes do in the early years of their profession.   However, Brother Bernard tells me that in Brother Aidan’s case, it is because he is with child.”

There was an audible gasp that went round the chapel.   The Abbot continued:

“No one expected God to work in his way, though Brother Bernard has done some research and there are community stories from Indonesia that talk of male chiefs getting pregnant.   Obviously this miraculous occurrence is from the hand of God, so Brother Aidan is to be respected as he carries Jan and Jon’s child.   He will continue his part in community life as usual until he gives birth.   Brother Bernard believes his due date is 3rd September if men’s gestation period is the same as women’s.   Pregnancy is not an illness so there is no need to make any concessions for him with his condition.   We hope to keep this miracle to ourselves so please don’t go telling others outside our community.   We are hoping visitors to the community will just assume Brother Aidan is putting on weight.

“Brother Aidan, this is a surprise for you too as you only discovered your condition this morning.   Is there anything you would like to share with the community?”

“First of all, Father Abbot, I would like to thank you for the opportunity for the day of reflection as it has enabled me to see God’s will in this.   I realise what a privilege it is for God to use me in this way and am so pleased for Jan and Jon in that they can now have a family.   In the silence afforded me in my cell I recalled a dream I had completely forgotten about.   It might be appropriate if I shared it.   I had it on the night of Advent Sunday.   At the time it was very vivid, but I quickly forgot it, possibly because I didn’t like it.  Should I share it Father?”

“Please go ahead.”

“Well, as I said, it happened on the night of Advent Sunday.    At the time I put it down to my brain dealing in a rather weird way with the events of the previous day.   The first part of the dream was lovely.   I was lying on my bed and bathed in this warm light.   It was lovely and somehow I knew that God would use me for his purposes.   It was so affirming.   I would have dearly loved to remain in that state.

“The only other part of the dream I can remember is the end just before I woke up.   It was the Feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s birth on 8th September.   We were all in the chapel for high mass and I had an enormous belly.   It was so grotesque and horrible and I so hated it.  I couldn’t understand where it had come from.   It was so heavy and my habit was really taught across it.   I felt so embarrassed.   Then I woke up in a sweat and, thankfully, quickly forgot the dream.   

“So my weird dream may not have been so strange after all, though I have to say that I know my belly will get bigger but I am no longer disgusted by the thought of a big belly.   It is wonderful to be growing a new life in there (he pointed to his growing bump).   It can get as big as it needs to for the Lord to complete his work in me.   So I say with The Blessed Virgin Mary, ‘Behold, the servant of the Lord.   Be it unto me according to his will.’”

“Thank you Brother.   It seems that God is truly affirming his work in you.   Now would you please unclothe yourself.”

Aidan hesitated.   Brothers were only unclothed, as far as he knew, when they were leaving their orders.  Was he being kicked out being in his condition?

“Remember your vow of obedience to God and the Abbot, brother.   Don’t worry, it is only so that the community can see clearly what God is completing in you.”

There was another gasp as Aidan took off his habit.   His belly looked far more pronounced than when hidden under a habit.    Even the Abbot was shocked as he had never seen the bump in the flesh as it were.   He called Brother Bernard out and Jan & Jon from their stalls.   Brother Aidan stood before them while they laid hands on his belly and prayed for a successful birth.

Photo 1

When they had finished the Abbot said “Please reclothe yourself”.   Brother Aidan pulled his habit over his head and was suddenly aware of it catching on his belly has he had to physically pull it down.   Just 3 months ago it fell over his slim body naturally.

Aidan went to pick up his girdle, but the Abbot intervened:

“I think this one will be better.  That one’s getting a little short.” said the Abbot as he handed Aidan a longer girdle.   “This can be your paternity girdle.”

Aidan might well have been embarrassed by such an observation in the past but now he seemed to be able to accept all things relating to his condition.

Later that evening, after the meal, Aidan met Jon & Jan for the first time since they all knew his condition.  It was such a joyous meeting and Aidan was happy to remove his habit so that they could see their very own baby bump.

Brother Aidan told them how pleased he was that they were finally going to be parents if all went to plan.   He was confident that all would go to plan as it was so obviously God’s will.

They chatted about family life and in the course of conversation Jan let slip that when they had first started trying for a family they were hoping to have 6 or 7 children.   Aidan could see that they were certainly still hoping for more than one child and possibly several.   He wondered whether he would be carrying more for them in the future.   He wasn’t sure what he thought about that, so he said,

“In the end it all comes down to what God has planned for you.   I am sure he will enable you to have the family you desire in some way or another.”

At the same time, the Abbot had called Brother Bernard into his office.   He had been shocked by the size of the young brother’s belly when he had unclothed.   So he asked if it was normal.

“Difficult to say,” responded Brother Bernard.  “He is 23 weeks along, so over half way through in the normal way of things.   I would say that if he were female, his bump is well above average for this stage in the pregnancy, but who is to say for a man.   My assessment of the baby is that it is on the large side.   He also seems to be carrying a large amount of amniotic fluid.   This might well be normal in a man.   The cave paintings recovered of pregnant men in Indonesia always show them to be hugely pregnant.   Most commentators think this is just an exaggeration, but it may not be.   Who knows.   We are on unknown ground here.   We don’t even know how long men carry for.”

It certainly gave the Abbot food for thought.

The Abbot was pleased, but amazed at how quickly the community settled down again after the amazing revelations of 13th May.   Brother Aidan seemed much more relaxed than he had been for a couple of months - back to his old self in fact and got more serene by the day.   The community as a whole behaved as it always had before one of them got pregnant.

[romanarose]

WHAT IF

(and I'm sorry if I ask something that's happened in canon. I haven't read all the bonus LAL content yet)

What if Santi and Laci traveled for a vacation and she got lost from him or just had a triggering meltdown (if this is too sensitive a question, that's okay, I understand!)

Leather and Lace

RomanaVerse Birthday Bash

I just let you skip right ahead on this one lol You actually get a fic bc i love the idea

Santiago Garcia x OC!Lacina Dumas

For context, although I don't know if it'll come out officially, I think of Laci as autistic. He non verbal episodes, sensitivities, overwhelmed by sounds and people that was only compounded by her trauma. She has lower support needs in her 30's but thats how i view her.

Santi, first of all, would be losing his fucking mind if he lost her on vacation. He would he blame himself so fast but he also was good at keeping a clear head. Maybe they traveled to Miami after Leto was born (Since you havnt read bonus content or Take your time and for the longest time, in the current timeline Santi and Laci just got maried and Laci is 5 month pregnant with their son, Leto Antonio Garcia-Dumas. Name started as joke between me and Mona and when talking baby names but then we decided we liked it.)

Imagine it, Santi carrying Leto in a front carrier, both of them with glasses and blue hates and looking cute as hell matching. Santi admittedly had a slight preference for a girl but he was absolutely head over heels for his son. Perfect wife, perfect baby, perfectly family. He carried the baby, wanting to do it until he knees or neck start really bothering him. Laci was recovered by the c-section but he liked spending time close with Leto. He liked having his son right up to his chest while holding his pretty wife's hand as she practically skipped at the zoo.

He cant remember why he let go of her, something about adjusting Leto's hat? Or fixing the straps? It didn't matter. He kept walking, trusting Laci was at his side in the crowded zoo. Then, when it was done and he looked to his right she was gone.

Logically, Santi knew she hadn't been taken. Santi knew that in the US, women weren't grabbed off the streets for sex trafficking. He'd worked with enough anti-trafficking missions to know these women are mostly tricked, and almost always by people they trust. He knew that, really. Still there was still that panic, that flash in his head that he'd have to see her again the way he did when he found her. Beaten and bloodied, grey skinned and bones jutting out. Laci's therapist said he was traumatized from all he'd seen, from the way he found Laci, now his wife, in such a state. He'd reflect on this later.

More realistically, he knew as soon as Laci knew she was separated from him, she'd panic. She'd been doing amazing, recoverying in a lot of ways but she still can't be outside their home or her work without someone she trusts. He immidietly starts looking for her, calling out her name, wishing they'd gone with Frankie and Jana or Will and Lorelei so it wasn't just him looking, His left hand craddles Leto, protecting the pre-me as he pushed through crowds, his voice getting more and more frantic.

"LACI!!!"

Then he hears someone calling for security and a crowd gathering off in the distance a bit. He thinks the worst, and rushes off hoping he's found her. When he gets close he hears her. Laci is crumbled on the ground, trying to curl into a ball but the security had his hand on her arm, trying to pull her, saying she has to leave. An older woman with a toddler holding her hand is trying to defusing the situtation, saying to let her go, he's making it worse.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" Rushes to his wife, yanks securities hands off his wife and drops down, trying to hold her but also be careful with Leto. He's crying now, the jostling of the search scarying him.

Security tells him they need to leave, Santi harshly tells him to shut up. He can't take care of Laci and Leto, Laci covering her ears but huddling close to him, crying hystericly. Santi hasn't seen Lace like this possibly ever, she usually shuts down during incidents. The nice older lady offers to hold Leto, and when Santi seems hesitant, she sits next to them on the ground. She can't run off with him, so he takes Leto out to where he is soothed by the stranger.

Santi gets behind Laci, squeezing her in a hug but not restraining her. He just knows she likes the pressure. She likes his arms around her while he speaks calming words. If she knows he's there, she knows she's safe.

*

Back at the hotel, Santi lets her rest. He orders her favorite foods and handles everything with Leto other than Laci breastfeeding.

It's 2 am, Laci is unable to sleep so they find I Love Lucy on the TV and watch it together in the warm glow, Letos travel crib safely next to their bed.

"I'm sorry baby." Santi whispers into her hair. "I shouldn't have let you out of my sight."

She shakes her head, pulling her hands out of the blanket to sign. "I'm 31. I should be able to go to a fucking zoo."

Laci doesn't swear. Not on principle, but its just not in her nature. When she does, he knows its real. She's upset with herself.

Santi knows he can't point out the obvious. That she hasn't lived a normal life, that she's experienced and survived horrors most people can't even comprehend. He knows that won't help. "It's okay, baby. You're making so many improvements, and I'm gonna be every step of the way with you. I'm so proud of how far you come."

It didn't have the desired effect. Her cute little face scrunched up, and she began to softly cry. How could he make her see? Make her understand how proud he was of her?

"I'll never be a good mom"

And Santi's heart shatters, breaks into a million pieces at the though she thinks she isn't. Laci hold a lot of guilt for Leto being premature and thus being born blind. She thinks she got pregnant too soon, that she didn't take care of her stress levels enough, or eat right or this or that. She loves Leto so much she feels she can't be enough.

"Munequita, no, no oh my god... you're a wonderful mother, the best he could ever ask for."

But she shook her head, signing, "I can't take him to the park alone. I can't go drive him to a friends house. I can't-"

"Lace..." Santi cupped her face, guiding her to look at him, his own eyes wet with tears. "Plenty of parents can't do that sort of thing, but that's okay. You don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be here. We'll go to the park together, I'll drive you both around. You've shown me you can handle those high stress moments when it comes to the safety of those you love... You'll do it for him if you need to. But, Miss Lacina, listen to my words. You will be there for Leto in all the most important ways. You'll support him in all his activities, give him everything he needs to thrive even with hearing loss. You'll be the most loving mother the world has ever seen, and Lace? Leto adores you. He adored you now, and he always will. We're both lucky to have you."

Her body language relaxes, and Santi sees a little smile on her pretty face. He kisses her nose.

*****************

I love them they are like my children ;-;

Tagging a few people who still show interest in lal stuff <3

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missdictatorme @itspdameronthings @poeedameronn @pimosworld @miraclesabound

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Now that I have your attention:

[quindread]

Constanstine starts acting sober on important missions/meetings for the JLD; he has a sanity-potion dealer

Zatanna reports this odd behavior to Batman, they interrogate him when his veins are swamped with alcohol.

C: … I-I know what yer doin’ [hiccups]

Z: We care for your well-being. You have bouts of sobriety that you seem to have control over.

B: Are you on something new?

C: M’yeah… is called a pwoz—piss—poise! Poise potion, yeah das it!

B: And who makes this “Poise” potion?

C: My dealah, my busniz. G’way! [stumbles out the door]

Z: … That went as well as expected.

Sober Constantine is actually more reasonable. Batman catches him after a meeting.

B: [observes his brushed hair and very high-quality, new trench coat] You’re sober… Congratulations?

C: Uhuh. Did you need something? I have some business elsewhere.

B: With your dealer?

C: [affronted] Wha—Who in their right bloody mind would dare call Celest that?

B: You did.

C: ….

B: Who’s Celest?

C: Oh, fuck me!

Constantine gives him an address - it’s in Milan, Lombardy (Region of Italy). He specifically instructs him to come as a civ along with Red Hood and Robin with the threat that he will erase their memories if they so much as go into detective mode.

Bruce Wayne and his two wayward children enters the teahouse and is led by the hostess to a private room. They are served with tea and light snacks that they know even Alfred would more than approve of.

A door opens - they didn’t even know it was one with the way the molding blends into each other seamlessly. And out came one of the most enchanting woman Bruce has ever seen. He’s seen his fair share of attractive females but he has never been star-struck like he should be - as if he were back to his pre-pubescent days.

M: Constantine said you’d be here.

B: [realizes that this person was Constantine’s dealer and was 100% magic] You’re his dealer?

*Jason and Damian who saw the look on their dad’s face snicker at his opening line*

M: [raises and elegant eyebrow at Bruce] And you must be his work associates?

J: Something like that, lady. I’m Jason, kid’s Damian, and the one who can’t stop staring at you is our Dad, Bruce.

*Bruce grumbles and Marinette smirks*

M: I’m Marinette. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

D: [gestures at Bruce] Pleasure is all his, Marinette.

B: [red at the ears] Their Grandfather thought them better, I swear.

M: Mhmm. I guess he didn’t teach them how to not die then?

The guys: ….

Jason gets a more potent version of the potion Constantine consumes - it’s a prescription that he has to come for every month. Damian gets a charm; ear cuffs because he does whatever her wants, a spontaneous orbital piercing is nothing. And Bruce gets Mari’s number.

(Tim also gets forwarded in his fave fashion label’s waitlist from the near thousands to the fourteenth - his first consultation coincides with Jason’s next appointment.)

AN: Some posts/fics call Mari Celestial Guardian. Idk where and when that happened - I have abandoned canon a long time ago. These are all pulled from my days in the maribat blackhole (still kinda stuck there). I basically pulled this out of my archives so they at least get the chance to see the daylight.

Addressing Brucinette: I have a whole re-written MLB plot in my archives where everything is more brutal and the miraculous aren’t actual pieces of accessories. Like there’s an initiation to the order and stuff like that. I normally don’t enjoy aging up characters in crossovers but Brucinette just works. I have a secretary AU somewhere (it’s tragic and I’m considering scrapping it if I find it). And I also have deep-rooted issues that wants me to write Good!Dad Bruce who has Mari breathing down his neck when he so much as raises his voice at his children (Muminette/Mominette is another breed scary). And those tropes where Mari sees right through Brucie? Has a second sense for the when the batkids are in/causes trouble? Love those. I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS SHIP. (Jk people are free to dislike this. I get it.)

[rqranboo]

WELCOME SINNERS AND SAINTS!

. . .This is your local clergy entity preaching yet again to the creatures of darkness and sin . . .

Orrrrrr... welcome to my blog! I'm that icky scary radqueer and paraphile you got warned about. I am a c!Ranboo fictive from DSMP, I use three names that you can use interchangeably those being; RANBOO, MARY, YARMAK. I use Vwoop/Its/Bats/Eyeself/Herself/Biteself pronouns. The full sets are below.

- Vwoop/Vwoop/Vwoops/Vwoopself

- It/Its/Itself

- Bat/Bat/Bats/Batself

- Ey/Eye/Eyes/Eyeself

- She/Her/Hers/Herself

- Bite/Bite/Bites/Biteself

I'm considering using these sets;

- Cros/Cross/Crosses/Crossesself

- Go/Goth/Gothics/Gothciself/Gothself

- Vamp/Vampyr/Vampyrs/Vampyrself

- Fang/Fang/Fangs/Fangself

TransIDs; harmed, brainwashed, fanged, snuffed, abused, dead, permavictim, permatired, batwings, religioustrauma

CisIDs; disabled, did, dyslexic, adhd, bpd

Paras; 🧟‍♂️ / 🩸 / 🕸 /💧 / 💤

Therians; bat, black cat

Kins; black wolf, vampire

My ask box is open! I feed into delusions as best as possible, and my messages are always open for a chat or RP ;]

if it isn't obvious I like gothic aesthetics, and if you - for whatever reason - want to send me Goth blog resources, please do so!

I have no set dni, be kind! this systems main account / host account is @goodtimeswithscarlet !

I am a mod on @alterpacks !

Claimed Anons & Established Friend (?) Tags!

- 🦝 anon

- uwu anon

- ccbur anon

- 💽 anon

--------

- 🩸 kylls tag

- phil tag

- 🦝 tommys tag

- 🐤 tommys tag

i may talk about my f/os here, too! (Mostly source related <3)

romantic;

- c! & cc! Wilbur <- primary

- c!Dream <- secondary

- c! & cc! Philza <- teterary

- c!Tubbo

not romantic, not platonic, but some secret third thing;

- c!Quackity

- c!Schlatt

family based;

- c!Michael

- friend the sheep

[amazingbananabread]

How do you think your ocs would feel about mine?

(Srry If I asked this before)

✧ MEW ✧

Melissa 👾: A child in this house? Melissa only hope for Mew to be safe and sound, though the fact the child is also a cat person and the fact she could defend herself, Mel doesn't really do much besides drawing with Mew and playing on her smartphone. Mel likes her, just that she is a bit..intimidated because she had betrayed and killed a ratman.

`` U-uh, I don't got much opinion for the cat child, she's pretty okay and cute, I hope we hang out later on..i-i just hope she doesn't do anything harm on me though, nn.. :^[ ``

Mary 💡: The moth lady doesn't know much about Mew other the fact she witnessed the child stealing a cookie on a night. Despite that, Mary thinks she's pretty nice, hoping to talk with her someday.

`` Oh? About one of the members in that house over there? I do not know much about the little girl other than she have some cat features. Though, I wish to meet her, I don't know why but she looks so adorable! ``

Goat Guy and The Wandering Horse 🐐🐎: the (three) two of them don't know anyone in the Ivory House but they might've seen each other every now and then. Their opinions is that they think Mew's should stay inside and don't explore much in the forest as they know how dangerous it is out here.

`` Don't know who that is, but hope she don't become a stray. (🐐) ``

`` Neigh (agree..🐎) ``

✶ HITCHHIKER C ✶

Melissa 👾: Melissa don't know a lot about Hitchhiker C but what does she knows is that she kept seeing the guy with the dog guy she forgot the name of. She doesn't really have anything to say other than good for him. Keep moving that dawg! 💜

`` I don't know who is that..eh, hope he's good i-i guess. :V ``

Mary 💡: oh she knows him! Well, more like sees him but she saw him multiple times, either killing or not, he's always seems to have some bloods on him.

Though, she's just hope Hitchhiker C doesn't kill her with that axe of his. It look scary..

`` The guy's..a bit scary, i-in my opinion- I'm sure the guy's a good person! J-just..um, let's hope he's likes moths.. ``

Goat Guy NN 🐐: Goat saws the killing that were made by Hitchhiker C, so they being scared of him is underestimating to say the least. If they ever see him again,he would run away FAST.

`` W-why are you mentioning him to me? Can we just talk about something else? Like a g-gem? Shows? I just don't want t-talk about him right now...he's horrifying.. ``

The Wandering Horse 🐎: Phillips doesn't really care about him to be honest, he think he's just trying to survive in the wild, just the way he does it is...very red and bloody. Jane on the other hand, is scared of Hitch.C even though he sounds pretty nice and a chill guy when Phillips was talking with him one time.

`` Neigh..what, you want me to break character for this? Well, C's a nice guy i guess, liked to talk with him but he's gotta chill on the killing, kept seeing him in red. Does he wash his clothes? Eh.. (Phillips) ``

`` U-umm..i don't know bout him, but I hope he doesn't try to kill us later on. (Jane) ``

✢ DANNY ✢

Melissa 👾: Mel encountered the ratman multiple times before Mew killed him off, and she thinks he nice, a bit awkward but then again, she's kinda like him too so..

Such a shame that Danny died, Melissa would've shown him her fanart of him.

`` Awh man, still sad that he died..but anyways, Danny's a good guy, we often talk here and there about stuffs. Sometimes, he would tell me more about the other ratmen. Hope he's in heaven. ``

Mary, Goat Guy, T.W.H 💡🐐🐎: they don't know him, so uh......oof

[t1oui]

hc that james potter and mary macdonald are best friends

like obviously they have their own friend groups too, james has the marauders and mary has lily and marlene but these groups have always sort of coexisted

mary and james are childhood friends and grew up in the same neighborhood or something

they’re the it boy and girl of gryffindor

they’re both bi. james first complained to mary about how sirius and remus were so obviously in love and just couldn’t see it and then he realized he was so obviously in love with regulus and ranted to her about that too

meanwhile mary talks to him about being in love with lily

mary keeps james and his mild insanity when it comes to pretty people (regulus) in check

meanwhile james pushes mary out of her comfort zone and eventually helps her ask lily out (he’s so proud)

james is usually really happy and sunshiny and so when he’s upset (like really upset) sometimes the marauders don’t know how to deal with it and they get mary

mary and james can get each other to open up when no one else can

james insists he brings out mary’s “inner quidditch fan”. mary insists this is not a thing.

(it is.)

everyone finds out she is a liar when she paints her face red and gold for the end-of-year match and cheers herself hoarse after gryffindor wins the quidditch cup.

mary gets along pretty well with dorcas once they’re in the order together and james fangirls about it b/c he loves seeing regulus’s friends getting on with his friends

(dorcas, mary, and reg all call him a sop for this)

mary is usually very very chill but when she and lily kiss for the first time she runs into james’s room squealing

mary and sirius competing to be the better sibling to james (they take it very… siriusly.)

their birthdays are within a week of each other but mary’s is first and she will not let james forget it

she’s the cool aunt. to who? idk. teddy maybe. whoever it is, she’s the coolest. (james is very jealous.)

mary and regulus are also friends, because as scary as she may seem, she’s a good ally, and reg knows not to turn that down.

mary and james are just as related as james and sirius are, and together, they’re gonna kick voldemort’s ass.

hi again. i just wanted to tell you all that most of these headcanons (except marylily 0_0) appear in one of my fics, and while mary hasn’t shown up a lot yet, she will later! if you’re interested, feel free to go check it out :)

[boltlightning]

What things have you watched for more Davenport stuff, and what did you think about it?

I'm considering buying a DVD set of Smash, and see if I can watch 10 percent, The Wedding Date and Next of Kin online.

I've already seen Kingsman (not just for him), The Journey of Mary Bryant but have yet to watch The Talented Mr. Ripley.

lmao. the amount of time i have spent on this dude...i'm gonna put this below a cut on the off-chance this won't show up in the tags, but here, in an orderly categorized list, is what i've watched for this dude

i would recommend:

p.irates of the caribbean — lmao

the t.alented mr ripley — this movie is not scary but it is haunting. it will stick with you like carrion to bones. highly recommend

why w.omen kill — he and lucy liu steal the show in season 1, which is very good, and he's the narrator in season 2, which is less good, but still entertaining. this show is so so good. please watch it

the incredible journey of m.ary bryant — it's probably a whole hour longer than it needs to be but everyone is putting their whole hearts into their performances

haven't we met before? this extremely cute commercial with f.elicity jones — it's five minutes long. it's adorable. it's even a little saucy. he's got the smash-era hair without being in smash. very good.

the m.oth 1997 — this was very early in his career and you can really tell, but he is adorable, and the writing itself perfectly embodies that hokey, melodramatic period drama bullshit that i so love

e.roica 2003 — 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 THE 19TH CENTURY FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i wouldn't recommend, and he's not in them very much, but they're alright:

the m.orning show — check for triggers. he's only in the first season but he's great. and it turns into a soap opera in the second season on and not in a good way

k.ingsmen — justice for my guy. RIP

p.irate radio — b.ill nighy is great in this! jdav is in a gorgeous longcoat. but then there is the misogyny

a u.nited kingdom — gorgeous film, killer cast, oversimplification of history but very good for what it is. jdav leans into the sneering brit archetype so hard it makes you realize he definitely could sound more sinister than he already does, he just rarely drops his voice to the bottom of his register

i wouldn't recommend, but you may like them if you go in with more information:

s.mash — given all the talent on this show, it is baffling that it's so bad. jdav plays a genuinely awful man who is by far the most interesting character in the show, which means every conflict centers around him, and not always in a good way. watch this show to see jdav handsomely draped across furniture serving cunt alongside c.hristian borle and a.njelica houston and m.egan hilty and enjoy some of the the greatest musical performances ever conceived. ignore everything else. it is not worth your brain cells

the w.edding date — maybe the worst romcom i've ever seen? jdav is adorable and playing an atypical idiot. he has more chemistry with the romantic interest then the actual lead, to the point where i thought they'd end up together

f.lashforward — i enjoyed this show and will be thinking about it for a long time. it's a nostalgic 2000s 24-alike, but it won't be for everyone. his character is very sweet, which is a rarity and a boon.

g.uernica — i would rate this movie a c- but jdav's accent in this needs to be heard to be believed. also burn gorman is there. burn my beloved

you should not watch:

he was in a netflix western set in australia that was so bad i'm not going to bother looking up the name. it is GORGEOUS but you should watch this movie muted and with the captions off and you will inevitably come up with a better plot. listen to a little bit of his accent though.

don't watch smash. please god. don't do it. i know what category i put it in but don't do it. listen to me. i'm begging you.

i have heard good things about w.hy women kill and g.uernica though! and i've been trying to track down the m.oth, they've been on my list forever. definitely let me know about 10 percent, i have no way of finding that as an american lol

july 2024 edit: list has been updated. still haven't tracked down 10 percent <3

[thelooseendorastrand]

Hi, I'm TheLooseEnd your local SCP writer, bookworm, professional plant dad, overachiever, worry-wart and definitely human. I love helping out, though I might be a little scared of starting a conversation, so it helps if you reach out to me first. 🕊

I'm best reached over Wikidot PMs under the username TheLooseEnd.

Note; I sometimes go through phases of depression and self-doubt. Sorry if I don't make as many cozy uplifting posts as usual. I'm still trying for you guys.

☘🌱🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🌱☘

First a couple ground rules, alright?

1. Please no sexists, homophobes, transphobes, ableists, racists, xenophobes or any other group that uses hateful or cruel rhetoric towards another person. I won't engage with a troll comment or ask, I will simply block you. This is a safe space for my readers and I prefer to keep it that way.

2. Please do not engage with my posts if you're a minor, I would prefer minors stay away from SCP content because of the nature of the site's content and the rules of signing up. I understand the enthusiasm to get into the community, but maybe wait a bit, yeah?

3. Please do not repost my content and attempt to pass it off as your own. I have seen this happen to my work before and it was very scary.

4. Please do not pressure me to come back when I'm on hiatus. It makes me really anxious and tired, which makes me want to stay on hiatus longer...

Okay? Then we can go over fun things!

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Navigation

#wiki stuff - Technical posts about the SCP Wiki, things like greenlights, writing tips and wikidot advice.

#scp - Posts related to the content on the SCP Wiki, things like posts about characters, articles and tales.

#cozy post - Happy, chill posts that feel comfy and nice, we like to keep a nice warm feeling here.

#uncozy post - I don't like making these, but these address discourse, uncomfortable topics and triggering things.

#goofy - I might be feeling a little silly, have a silly post.

#today I learned - Fun facts tag, this is a post about some interesting knowledge I'd love to share.

#words from the soul - Artistic writing I find interesting.

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My Favorite Genres

I love absurdist and surreal fiction, as well as anything with cosmic horror, a bit of comedy too along with alternate histories, speculative fiction, stories that stretch the limits of their mediums and lots of worldbuilding. When it comes to writing, I mostly mix a lot of these.

☘🌱🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🌱☘

My Projects

I'm currently working on a lot, including my essays for school, which means all of them will be updated very slowly. Apologies in advance.

Verdant [SCP]

[Being kept secret for future plans]

The Rvelkan Brecht Headline Sentinel [Original]

An interactive speculative fiction piece about a team of news reporters in the year 7303 on an earth very different from this one.

Chiaroscuro [SCP]

A tragedy about an anomalous Banksy-like artist and his reality bender fiancé evading capture by the SCP Foundation when his identity's been compromised.

Hack Writer [Original]

A man is sitting at his computer, blinking line on the text document mocking him.

☘🌱🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🍀🌿🌱☘🌱🌿🌱☘

🌿 Book Recommendations 🌿

To Build A Fire by Jack London

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Phillip K. Dick

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

The Tragedie of Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

2001 A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

The Vampyre by John William Polidori

The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe

☘ Film Recommendations ☘

(Films)

Dead Horse [2022]

Asteroid City [2023]

It's Just A Five Minute Walk [2023]

Everything Everywhere All At Once [2022]

Coraline [2009]

(Episodes)

Uncanny Alley - 02 - Late Shift

Over The Garden Wall - 02 - Hard Times at The Huskin' Bee

Love Death & Robots - Vol2 08 - The Drowned Giant

Love Death & Robots - Vol3 09 - Jibaro

🌱 Videogame Recommendations 🌱

The Utility Room [2023]

Indika [2024]

Kid A Mnesiac Exhibition [2021]

2:22 AM [2017]

Kitty Horrorshow Haunted Cities Volumes 1-4 [Varied]

Slay The Princess; The Pristine Cut [2024]

🍀 Other Medium Recommendations 🍀

Plexus by Elena Helfrecht (Photography Collage)

The Magnus Archives by Rusty Quill (Podcast)

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Things to know about me:

I have autism and anxiety (both diagnosed), which makes it a little difficult for me to keep up with certain schedules outside my normal ones. This includes posting schedules and writing schedules. I might go on long hiatuses occasionally.

My pronouns are he/they, by the way. I put a lot of queer representation in my writing as a queer person, and I think it's important to have stories from historically overlooked perspectives told.

This is a blog that supports Disabled, Neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ rights run by a disabled neurodivergent LGBTQ+ person.

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An Important Message

I understand that as a creator I have influence over others, and I will choose whenever possible to use that influence to promote kindness, mindfulness and empathy, not just toward others but toward yourself as well. So, I've put some resources here for my readers.

USA Based Resources;

https://988lifeline.org/get-help/

https://www.crisistextline.org/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

https://translifeline.org/hotline/

UK Based Resources;

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org/

https://giveusashout.org/

https://www.lifelinehelpline.info/

https://www.thecalmzone.net/

I care about you deeply, readers.

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[sliceofdyke]

15 questions! tagged by @minecraftpissblock hi zora :))

are you named after anyone? not anyone specific but if mary magdalene of bible fame counts then yeah

when was the last time you cried? sunday but im ok now :')

do you have kids? no and currently i think even in the future it would be too much of a commitment but we'll see

do you use sarcasm a lot? nope! i use it sometimes in jokes but not very often

what sports do you play? soccer (also project sekai expert levels should count as a sport)

what’s the first thing you notice about people? probably like general vibes and if they seem like they'd be someone i'd enjoy spending time around/interacting with

what’s your eye color? dark brown :3

scary movies or happy endings? happy/happy-ish endings, as long as they're narratively satisfying! ambiguous endings can be ok too. im easily scared (like a horse) and have high empathy so im decidedly not a horror or tragedy enjoyer by any means

any special talents? my drip and swag. fr tho ummm i have relative pitch, i can sing a middle C, i speak mandarin (although im really rusty), i can do brush pen calligraphy, and im REALLY good at searching for very specific memes/tumblr posts on google

where were you born? california! yes i know... west coast worst coast

what are your hobbies? choir, volunteering, essay writing, musical theater, soccer, making mashups of songs, & more!! i also used to be involved with climate activism and im looking to do that again in college :)

do you have pets? no but when i move into my own apartment i really want fish! planning to work my way up to a giant fish tank, my gf also wants cats so i need to get allergy shots for that

how tall are you? a humble 5'2...

favorite subject in school? ap environmental science and english

dream job? AQUARIST!!! which is why ur looking at a future marine bio major folks >:)

tagging (no pressure): @w101 @sirfetchd @curioshop @surskip @squideogame @moonstear @blennie @healingkit @violetual @fractaldunes @warningslice @cloudbends @kempt @languidlovers @dl6incident @strongestpotion @v-gersix @delarverie @teamdays and any other mutual who wants to can say i tagged u :)

[martsonmars]

[wrote most of this last January — I'm not deleting the tags but LOL — and I'm not changing my answers — not even the last time I cried — but I'll add stuff]

15 Questions 15 People

Thanks @nausikaaa @johnwgrey @shrekgogurt @raenestee @yellobb @stitchyqueer @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @sillyunicorn and at least two more people (whose notifications were eaten by Tumblr) for the tags! I love being tagged in these games even though I don't always participate. [And now it just took me a year...]

I almost didn't participate this time either because I don't like some of the questions, but I really wanted to answer a couple of them so here we are 😂 It'll likely be long so...

[Tagging @onepintobean @brilla-brilla-estrellita @palimpsessed @ileadacharmedlife @technetiumai @thewholelemon @youarenevertooold @iamamythologicalcreature @ic3-que3n @theearlgreymage @messofthejess @theimpossibledemon @artsyunderstudy @cutestkilla @valeffelees. That's 15! If you played last year you can ignore me or play again.]

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not really? Definitely not after a relative (thank god, I'm not a fan of it), but:

a) my mother's religious enough that biblical Marta was on her mind. She used to say that if she had another girl she wanted to call her Miriam, and it wouldn't have happened anyway because when we thought my brother would be a girl — before that “uh there's a penis here” that made me cry because I was used to being a single child by then, and I was already so upset to get a sibling that at least I wanted a sister — I fought for the name Emma, but she did want to play a vague Martha&Mary game. (My brother got a religion-inspired name too, anyway.)

b. there's a song by one of her favourite singers that's called Marta che parla con Dio (I love this song so much!) and she always mentioned it when I asked about my name

c. Marta Abba was an actress and the muse of my mother's favourite writer. I always say that I'm named after her because I like the idea.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't remember when I last cried properly (not because I never cry but because I cry too often) but the last time I had to fight tears because I was in public and almost failed was two days ago.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope! I'm baby myself. I used to say I absolutely didn't want kids but now my stance is more “we'll see what happens”. Kids feel like too much — I'm always exhausted when I have to take care of my brother (who's almost 11 now, so not a baby, and still requires so much time and energy) and spending a week with my 3yo cousin reminded me of how it is when they're younger — and I'm not sure I'd want to devote such a big part of my life and my days to someone who, at least at first, would need me so much. But I love kids. I usually joke and say that I love them as long as they're someone else's and they go home at the end of the day, but I think I'd like having my own kid. I want to believe I'd be a good parent. But I definitely don't want to birth anyone, so we'll see what more queer rights or moving to another country life brings!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I think so? I love sarcasm, but I probably don't use it as much as I think I do.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

This is one of the questions that bothered me because I couldn't think of any physical characteristic, but then I realise that the answer is SO easy: the first thing I notice about people I interact with is whether they pass my anxiety's vibe check.

(What I notice about people I don't interact with is whether they'd be good fancasts. The only faces I remember among all the people I've seen in 3 months of classes in person are: potential Shep fancast & potential fem Baz fancast.) (They're friends btw.)

6. What’s your eye color?

Brown. (I almost found a way to turn this answer into 15 paragraphs too, but I'll spare you.)

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings for sure. I'm not a fan of scary movies in general (can't see the appeal), but I'll always pick happy endings. Though I can bear sad movies better than sad books, probably because everything's faster.

8. Any special talents?

I'll skip this one. Not because I don't think I have any special talents, but because what's a talent? What's special? Honestly my special talent is not being able to answer this kind of question about myself (along with “describe yourself in 3 adjectives” and shit like that).

9. Where were you born?

Wouldn't you like to know.

10. What are your hobbies?

I am, sadly, pretty inconsistent about hobbies. The ones that never leave are reading and writing (even when I had my 3 year long writer's block, writing was still at the top of my mind), but other than those two I have a wide variety of hobbies that come and go. Mostly because if I don't master a skill immediately I give up, and so I keep picking hobbies up and then abandoning them and then picking them up again. I'd probably be happier if I stopped wasting so much time on my phone and dedicated more time to getting better at some of these hobbies I've tried, but alas, my brain cannot be coerced into it.

December edit: learned and learning to crochet and I have a feeling this hobby will stay.

11. Do you have any pets?

Nope. I probably wouldn't want a pet that can move around, or one I'd have to touch (I assume you have to touch most pets somehow... but when I helped my aunt with her fish I didn't have to touch them because she had a little net I could use to move them when cleaning was needed, and it was great, so I could probably handle something like that). I'd also be sad about their lifespan.

Honestly, I'll probably only have a pet if someone I live with will have or strongly want one.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did ballet from age 4 to age 11, then I let them fat shame me away from it. I probably would've quit after middle school anyway, but I wish I hadn't let them make me feel like shit about my body because I really love ballet, and I was the best of my group (the examiner from the Royal Academy of Dance said so twice.), and we were going to try point shoes the next year, and I was just a chubby kid.

Then I did archery for 2/3 years in high school. I quit because I felt like I didn't have enough time to do it AND study, and so I didn't want to commit to it to the point of buying my own bow, and the equipment my trainer gave me for free wasn't good enough that my skills could improve past a certain point, and so I got frustrated with it. I'd like to pick it up again someday.

(I almost googled whether ballet is a sport because I feel like a lot of people would say it isn't for different reasons, but then I decided that I don't care. It counts as a sport to me.)

13. How tall are you?

174 cm, I think. Maybe 173. 5’8”?

14. Favorite subject at school?

Oh boy. I could spend hours on this, I'm such a swot (which is why my current struggles with studying hurt so much! I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd struggle with the only thing I used to be the best at, and yet here we are).

I think my favourite subjects to study are things like history and law. I also love languages so much and I need structure to study them (I struggle to be consistent and practice on my own). I loved scientific subjects and kinda miss them occasionally. I loved all the literature/social sciences classes I've had in my life but most of them are mostly stuff I like to read about and don't really want to study.

[December comment: I didn't post this in January because I didn't finish answering this question. I still don't want to finish because it's too much. I just want to say that there's a difference between subjects I like in general and subjects I like to study, and I think the two categories intersect in the fields of history, languages and law.]

15. Dream job?

There are two wolves inside of me.

The wolf that wants to leave a very specific mark in the world, which is the reason why I'm studying politics. I am not saying that politics are the way (or the only way) to change the world. I'm not even saying I want to be a politician. But there is in me the desire to do something for the world from this point of view, be it through writing or activism or NGOs or European/international institutions and organisations or the government. I'm currently [December] planning to write my bachelor thesis in International Law and talk about the regulation of AI, and my professor says this is a field that's creating more job opportunities and isn't yet as saturated as the human rights job market, so maybe this is something to pursue.

And the wolf that wants to stay in my little bubble and write fiction. Or translate books (though I don't think I'd actually want to be a translator. It's a shitty job). Have a nice house and a family and forget about the world.

I know these aren't necessarily mutually exclusive (in the sense that both could be possible at different times), but I'm not sure what will prevail. I guess it also depends on the jobs I will find when I'm done studying.

I agree with who said they want a job they like well enough but that leaves them time and energy to pursue their actual dreams. Work doesn't have to be your dream, it can be just work. But maybe I'll turn my dreams into work and have more, different dreams in my private life. We'll see!