#not serious legal advice

[sir-sanguinus]

So I know this is based in America, but I learned about English Law, so I'll use that, come and take it could be such a funny argument to use in court.

UK theft requires 'Dishonesty' (S2 Theft Act 1968). But if you genuinely believe that you are entitled to the property (the gun) then you are not dishonest. If you could convince the jury that your client genuinely believed it to be an offer then you could theoretically get away with the theft.

I'd also love for there to be a version of this where your client gets acquitted but the gun is returned by the police. Because you could then attempt to argue a breach of a unilateral contract. The car said "come and take it". The contract requires you come and gain access to the gun, and the reward is ownership of the gun.

There is consideration (something for both sides): one side clearly wishes to be rid of the property ASAP, and the other gets a gun. You do not need to have verbal acceptance, the performance of the contract is sufficient to amount to this. Because if you won this case then you get the gun you stole legally because of a contract, and in England it'd create precedent meaning anyone with a "come and take it" sign was now also offering the same contract, legitimising the action, and eliminating illegality (because now that you are performing in an accepted contract, you are not dishonestly taking the gun), so this would solve the theft and the ownership dispute.

No idea how much of this translates into US law, but I think it's really funny.

[greater-than-the-sword]

If a man ever approaches you, a young woman, in a clearly threatening manner, and you don't have a real way to escape, start cackling like a yandere and describing how you always wanted to find out what it was like to eviscerate a man/stab a man's eyeballs out. (Ideally with actual weapon drawn) You could win the intimidation check, and best of all no one will ever believe him

[gary-goldstein-law]

The cops took my bike as evidence for a murder case they're investigating. How should I fight this in court?

-Grace Chasity

There are a few ways, Miss Chasity!

First and foremost, HFPD is known for being corrupt. I am a man of the law and so I would Never suggest bribing either Captain Sweetly or any other police officer. If you did that, he might just hand it over and that would likely throw a wrench in that ever-so-important murder case!

Now that we are away from what you shouldn’t do, there are some ways that are completely legal!

You can always contest the bike’s relevance in the case, unless it had the victim’s blood on it, it’s unlikely that they’ll be able to defend it’s relevance to the case in a way that can get the judge on their side.

You can also wait until the investigation is over, and if they don’t return the bike you can take them to court for keeping a poor girls bike.

I’m sure you’re so churned up over the loss of your bicycle, I would hate to see you crying about the loss of your bike.

[mariocki]

New Scotland Yard: And When You're Wrong (1.13, LWT, 1972)

"You sent for me."

"I sent for you four days ago."

"I didn't get the message till yesterday."

"Right, you can put your diary down. Where have you been?"

"Busy."

"Doing what?"

"You know what I'm doing."

"I know what you're supposed to be doing, nobody seems to know what you're actually doing."

"You'll have my report when it's all wrapped up."

"I'll have it now. Whatever you were playing at before, you're now a witness in a murder case."

[cookiescr]

Dang I probably need a therapist

[beautifulsnake2162020]

YES TO ALL OF THIS!

Ever since studying Family law I no longer judge people who don't want to marry their partners. Even though I am personally a romantic person and would like to see the romance in many things - I definitely think that the romanticization of marriage is a contributing factor to why (anecdotally) many young people who are getting married are generally ill-equipped for the serious legal consequences of marriage. It's why one of my advices to my non-law friends whenever a guy says they want to marry them is to ask "What property regime do you want to govern our marriage?" It's okay if they don't know what it is at the start - what's critical is if they are open to not being a co-owner over their properties.

A marriage - unlike a non-marital romantic relationship - has legal consequences affecting property (this includes money from my state), succession (the spouse becomes one of the compulsory heirs unless expressly disinherited), civil and even criminal status (such as the crime of bigamy). By making your partner your spouse you are giving them rights to your life under the eyes of the law whether you like it or not and vice versa.

Things I’ve learned about love from working for a divorce attorney

Divorce happens to everyone, there's not a "type." Even smart, well-adjusted people choose bad partners, encounter deal-breakers after you're already married, or simply change over time to where you're no longer compatible.

You can come into your own at any time, and learn to finally stick up for yourself at any age.

There’s no time window for divorce where if you stick together long enough you’ve "made it." Some people get divorced after a year and a half, others after 25 or more. Love will always take work.

People often come in ready to sacrifice everything just to get the process over with, then realize they're entitled to way more than they thought. Don't undervalue your worth just to make things easier. You're entitled to fairness.

I don't care how much you say money doesn't matter in your relationship, yes it does. Keeping your finances separate solves a LOT of conflict. Money is the #1 thing people fight over in the divorce process besides maybe the kids.

Speaking of kids, out of mountains of cases, not once has any parent even suggested the divorce was the kid’s fault.

Life really does go on after a breakup, even a major one. Everyone that comes into our office is a full and complete person just going through a rough time. I think that's important to remember.

[threadmonster]

I should be allowed to throw away my customer service persona when people are unapologetically horrible to me over the phone because, man what a coward, show up to the ER with your condition if it is that emergent and say that to my face.

[bloopy-writes]

Weasley family headcanons cuz why not

Percy was the first person to find out Fred and George were serious about opening a joke shop because he saw them struggling to understand legal documents the common room. He never told their parents but he did sit with them and explain what they would need and they always took his advice even when they stopped talking to him

Charlie’s favorite little sibling is Ron and Ron sends the most letters to Charlie

Mr Weasley used to reserve special days once a month to take Ginny out and do whatever she wanted for a day

Fred and George only play the most pranks on Percy because they know he doesn’t actually hate it. And late at night he comes by and gives them tips or fixes spells for them. He’s their favorite brother but no one can tell.

Ron and Ginny tried baking once to surprise Mrs Weasley but almost made the oven explode

Ginny accidentally turned bill bald when she was a toddler and he told her to go to bed. He still holds a grudge over that.

Bill and Charlie and Percy meet up once a month as adults to keep each other updated about life.

Mr and Mrs Weasley are both amazing at dancing and unfortunately all their kids suck at it

One time in his first year Fred broke his ankle racing George to the dining hall. Percy gave him a piggyback ride to the hospital wing. Years later Fred returned the favor when Percy collapsed from exhaustion studying for his newts.

Ron can tell the twins apart he just pretends not to so that he can annoy them

Mrs Weasley and bill are the best chefs of the family but George is the best baker.

[frownyalfred]

You said you wanted someone to remind you to explain why the stop was illegal in that fic you wrote where the Batfam get pulled over and Alfred has a load of guns so, here's your reminder 😊

Oh yes! Thank you for the reminder. I had a lot of people arguing with me in the comments of that fic, saying the cop was mostly in the right and there was nothing illegal about the stop. I watch a ton of dashcam videos and I've seen some wildly illegal and only mildly illegal stops, and the problem is, both still end up with charges, sometimes very serious ones. Knowing your rights during a traffic stop is very, very important.

Here's the fic if anyone wants to read along with my commentary below. Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, and it might not apply in your specific state or region. It's just research I did for the fic.

The cop pulled over a vehicle that did not objectively match the suspect description at all. A silver Rolls Royce isn't a "dark colored sedan."

Mistakenly pulling over a vehicle and realizing it doesn't match the description is one thing; however, for most traffic stops to be legal, there has to be a reason to pull the vehicle over. You can't just have a hunch. You need to observe them speeding, etc, which we know Alfred does not do.

"Pulling you over as a precaution" -- fine, maybe a jury will believe that the cop truly thought they matched the description. But what comes next is definitely illegal.

The cop asks if there are any drugs or weapons in the car. Alfred replies there are legal firearms in the car. The cop indicates that he'll need to be in possession of those guns during the traffic stop for his own safety -- that is legal. However, it does not entitle the officer to a search of the vehicle itself.

Just because the officer needs to take Alfred's gun into his possession for his own safety, does not entitle him to a search of the vehicle itself. There has been no crime committed or suspected of having occurred. There is no legal reason to search the car at that time.

Alfred willingly turns over all guns in his possession. Having a legally registered gun does not create reasonable suspicion that the car or his person contains evidence of a crime, such as drugs or illegal weapons.

Another thing Bruce mentions here -- Alfred doesn't have to legally announce upon being pulled over that there are legal guns in the car. When asked, he does say so, but he does not begin the stop itself announcing that information. The cop gets twitchy about this and calls in backup. Bruce correctly indicates that Alfred has no legal requirement to announce this during the stop. The cop ignores Bruce and snipes at him when he continues to discuss this.

The cop asks why Alfred has the weapons. This is not relevant to the traffic stop, and Alfred is not legally required to answer. They are legally registered and there is no firearm limit in New Jersey.

The cop cuts Bruce off when he gives legal advice to Alfred. The implication is that he might arrest Bruce if he continues to do so. However, as long as Bruce is not physically obstructing the officer's investigation, he is doing nothing wrong in a legal sense and can provide Alfred information on his rights regardless of being a lawyer or not.

“Any update on that 10-29V?” -- the cop asking dispatch this is basically giving away that he knows by now, at the very least, that this is not the suspect vehicle. He is still completing the stop, however there is no legal basis for it.

"Anything I should know about in the car before myself and my fellow officer begin the search?” -- this might seem innocuous but cops will often phrase voluntary searches this way, so later in court they can say you agreed to a search of their vehicle. Alfred did not consent, and Bruce reiterates this.

"But they all looked spooked when I asked about guns in the car.” -- again, not evidence that a crime has been committed or that there are illegal weapons in the car. However if they were looking for weed instead of guns, this is about the time the cop would start lying about smelling an "odor" he needed to "investigate."

“It doesn’t matter if the driver had weapons. It doesn’t matter if he had a goddamned armory in his trunk. It’s not gonna hold up. Every single one of those charges would be dropped by the time your sorry ass got to the station to file them. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?” -- People in the comments assumed Bruce would buy off the charges or something, but truly they wouldn't hold up and the DA would likely be reluctant to prosecute, even in Gotham. I should've said "referred" instead of "filed" here but oh well. I guess that depends on the state. The point is, even if the guns were illegal, the stop itself was not legal and therefore that evidence would very likely be thrown out. Frank is a smart man and knows this.

"And maybe, if you’re lucky, they won’t ask for your goddamned badge" / “That one’s a detective over in Blüdhaven.” -- we see evidence throughout the stop that Bruce and Dick know this is an illegal stop, but they don't fight it, largely because that would cause more issues and it's much easier to get the charges thrown out after the fact if they cooperate. Screaming at the cop who's doing an illegal search and driving away will still get you charges, it might just not be the charges they wanted to pull you over for.

So, what's the overall takeaway? Illegal traffic stops can sound and feel very legal, even when they're not. Disagreeing with a single arresting officer can be tricky and it's easier to fight the charges afterward, rather than risk more charges in the moment. But from a legal standpoint, nothing about the stop, the follow up questions, or the attempted search was legally sound. Bruce and Alfred would have been well within their rights to sue the police department for a variety of things, or make a public stink about the traffic stop in the media.

Laws vary state by state in the US, so make sure you're up to date on your local area. Knowing what a cop can and can't ask you can help you keep your cool and proceed safely through a traffic stop. However, you can do everything right and by the book during a traffic stop and still wind up with a racist or angry cop who ignores the law. Bodycams and dashcam footage are very important in those situations. I think everyone should have a dashcam if they own a car, for a variety of reasons.

I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice, this is just additional information on the background research I did for this fic and why the stop itself was written the way it was!

[hjemne]

Oh I know a guy from Bogotá who has spent a lot of time doing research in small, remote south American villages & he knows a lot of people with these types of names! As well as the more traditional names, people are also named after a lot of things & people that their families have heard about. Lots of tractors, batteries, European sports teams, 20th c historical figures... And it's mostly fine because people in these communities usuallyyyy stay in or immediately nearby their homes & don't necessarily interact with people who know about WW2 and might inform them about the global connotations of the name Hitler

As an aside, the stupidest name my friend knows isn't actually Hitler or Lenin or Liverpool or Tractor, but is held by an English guy called Dick Wang.

what was wrong with this guy's parents

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 25

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x dealer!Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, angst, cursing, mentions of death, mentions of murder, slight grief, anger

Y/n's POV

The living room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the small lamp in the corner. I sat on the couch, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, trying to process everything Chris and Nate had just thrown at me.

“You want to take Vince down?” I repeated, my voice laced with disbelief.

Chris nodded, leaning forward in the armchair across from me, his elbows on his knees. “Yes. He’s ruined too many lives, Y/n. Danny, us.. We can’t keep running from him. It’s time someone puts an end to this.”

“And you think that someone is you?” My voice rose, a mix of anger and concern bubbling to the surface. “Chris, he’s dangerous! You saw what he did to Danny, and you think-”

“We’re not stupid about this.” Nate interjected, his tone unusually calm. “We know what we’re up against. That’s why we need your help. You’re the only one who knows the legal side of things. If we’re going to bring Vince down, we need to do it right. Evidence, witnesses, the works. Otherwise, he’ll walk.”

I blinked at him, my thoughts racing. They were serious. Dead serious.

Chris straightened, his voice steady but urgent. “First, we need to get out of the city. If Vince catches even a hint of what we’re planning, we’re done. But we need a plan before we do anything else.”

I frowned, skepticism laced in my words. “And how exactly do you plan to get out of the city unnoticed? Who knows how many more trackers are on your car, your clothes, your phones?” I gestured to the coffee table, where Nate's phone lay.

Chris exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Rental car. We’ll ditch anything he could’ve tagged. We’ll pay in cash and keep it off the radar. It’s the safest option we have.”

“And once we’re out?” I asked, my heart pounding.

Nate leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. “Once we’re out, we lay low and come up with a plan. We have dirt on Vince, stuff we can use. We’ll document everything. But we’ll need you to guide us on how to present it, how to make sure it sticks in court.”

The weight of their request sat on top of me. They weren’t just asking for my advice, they were pulling me into the middle of a fight that could cost us everything.

“I don’t even know where to start” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Chris reached across the coffee table, his hand brushing mine gently. “Start by trusting us” he said softly. “I know this is asking a lot, but I need you, Y/n. We need you. We can’t do this without you.”

My gaze flicked between them, their expressions etched with determination. I took a deep breath, nodding slowly. “Okay. But if we’re doing this, we do it smart. No more impulsive decisions, no more risks we don’t need to take.”

Chris smiled faintly, his shoulders relaxing just a little. “Smart. Got it.”

“Fine. Let’s start with ditching anything that could track us and getting that rental” Nate said, pushing off the wall. “We don’t have time to waste.”

I stood, my heart racing but resolute. This was insane, but if it meant finally breaking free from the shadow Vince had cast over all our lives, then maybe it was worth it.

As we finished hashing out the rough outline of our plan, Nate glanced at his phone, his face tightening with focus. “We need to move fast. There’s a 24 hour car rental place near Downtown Crossing. Willow you can come with me to help.”

Chris nodded, while Willow stood there like a deer in the headlights. “Good call. The fewer people sticking around here, the better. Just make sure everything is clean. No personal cards, no phone pings near the rental place.”

“I know the drill.” Nate shot me a quick smile, then turned to Chris. “You good holding down the fort?”

Chris waved him off. “We’ll be fine. Just be quick.”

“Alright.” Nate grabbed his jacket from the back of a chair. 

“Guess I’m deep in this shit too now!” Willow exclaims, following Nate out the front door.

With that, they were gone, leaving Chris and I alone in the small, tense space of my living room.

Chris sat back down on the couch, his elbows on his knees, staring down at his hands. I stayed standing, unsure of what to say or do.

Finally, he broke the silence. “I owe you an apology” he said, his voice low but steady.

“For what?” I asked cautiously, crossing my arms.

“For..everything.” He sighed, shaking his head. “For dragging you into this mess. For lying to you. For making you think I was dead when I wasn’t.”

The weight of his words hit me hard, and I felt the sting of all the times I’d cried over him, the sleepless nights wondering how I could have saved him, the guilt that maybe I hadn’t done enough.

“You made me grieve you, Chris” I said, my voice trembling. “I thought you were gone. Do you know what that did to me?”

He looked up at me then, his eyes raw with emotion. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I thought.. I thought faking my death was the only way, to keep me alive and to keep you safe. I didn’t want you to be a target. I couldn’t risk Vince coming after you because of me or what you’d have to deal with if he actually got to me.”

I let his words sink in. I wanted to stay angry, to hold onto the hurt he’d caused, but there was something in his face, regret, shame, love, that made it impossible. “But all I did was hurt you. And I hate myself for it.”

He finally looked up, his eyes filled with a vulnerability I’d rarely seen. “You should hate me too. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

My heart ached as I stepped closer to him, the raw pain in his voice pulling me in. “Chris..” I started, my voice soft.

“No” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Let me finish. You have every right to walk away, to tell me I’m not worth it. But I just need you to know how sorry I am. I’m sorry for breaking your trust, for making you think I was gone for good. You mean everything to me, Y/n. I need you to believe that.”

His words hit me like a wave, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. I could see how much this was tearing him apart, how much he hated himself for the choices he’d made.

I took a deep breath, willing my voice not to shake. “Chris, I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt. Because it did. It still does. But I also know you did what you thought was best. Even if it wasn’t the right choice, I know your heart was in the right place.”

His eyes searched mine, a flicker of hope breaking through the guilt. “You don’t hate me?”

I shook my head. “I don’t hate you, Chris. I could never hate you. I just.. I need to know that we’re in this together now. No more secrets, no more trying to protect me by pushing me away.”

He nodded, stepping closer. “No more secrets. I promise.”

I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and before I could wipe it away, Chris reached out, his thumb gently brushing it aside. His touch was warm, grounding, almost mending the ache from the grieving I had done.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n” he whispered again, his voice breaking. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m going to do everything I can to make this right. To make up for all of it. I’ll give you the world for the rest of our lives.”

I let out a shaky breath and closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around him. He froze for a moment, as if he didn’t believe this was real, before pulling me tightly against him.

We stood there, holding each other in the middle of my living room, the weight of the world around us momentarily forgotten. His arms felt safe, familiar, and despite everything we’d been through, I knew I still trusted him.

“Just don’t leave me again” I whispered against his chest.

“Never” he murmured, his voice steady now. “I’m not going anywhere.”

We stayed like that, locked in each other’s embrace, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. For the first time in what felt like forever.

Nate’s POV

We stopped by Willow’s apartment first, so she could leave her phone and grab some clothes for the next few days. Leaving my car at my place was a no brainer. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were trackers on half my stuff by now, and I wasn’t about to lead them straight to us. I made sure that my phone was left behind too, turned off and buried under some random junk in my drawer. If they wanted to listen in or trace me, they’d be out of luck.

Willow was stood in my hallway after I left everything in my room, she gave me a curious look as I locked the door behind me.

“You ready for this?” I asked her.

She nodded, her expression steady. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

A taxi pulled up a minute later, and I opened the door for her before sliding in myself. The driver didn’t ask questions, which I appreciated. I told him the address for the 24 hour rental place, and we were off.

The ride was quiet, I could tell Willow was nervous, but she didn’t say anything, and I wasn’t exactly in the mood for small talk either.

When we got to the rental spot, I made a point of scanning the lot for any cars with tinted windows. If Chris was right about Vince keeping tabs, we needed something that wouldn’t make it easy for anyone to recognize us.

“Wait here” I told Willow as I stepped into the office.

The guy behind the desk barely looked up from his computer. “What are you looking for?”

“Something discreet. Tinted windows, good condition.” I said, sliding my ID and a wad of 50’s across the counter.

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask questions. A few clicks later, he handed me the keys to a black sedan. Fitting.  “Number 14. Parked on the left.”

“Thanks.”

I found the car, gave it a quick once over, and waved Willow over. She climbed in, and I started the engine.

“We’re good to go.” I told her.

“What now?” she asked.

“Now we make a quick stop” I said, pulling out of the lot and heading for another part of town.

The guy I needed to see wasn’t someone I’d introduce to anyone under normal circumstances, but these weren’t normal circumstances. I parked the rental a block away, not wanting to draw too much attention, and told Willow to stay put.

“You sure about this?” she asked, looking a little uneasy.

“I’ll be fine. Just sit tight.”

I walked to the corner and found him leaning against a lamppost, smoking. “Mick.” I greeted him.

“Nate.” he replied, blowing out a puff of smoke. “Heard you were laying low. Guess not low enough.”

“Yeah, well, things change. You got what I asked for?”

He reached into his coat and pulled out a small bag. “Four burners. Clean. No one’s tracking these unless you do something stupid.”

I handed him the cash I’d stashed in my pocket earlier. “Appreciate it.”

“Stay out of trouble, Nate.” he said with a grin that told me he didn’t think I could.

I didn’t bother responding, just turned and walked back to the car.

Willow looked relieved when I slid into the driver’s seat.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah” I said, holding up the bag. “Burners for everyone. Atleast we can contact eachother, start fresh.”

She nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. “What’s the plan now?”

“Back to Y/n’s” I said, starting the car. “Chris’ll need these before we do anything else. After that, we figure out how to end this.”

The drive back was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was only the beginning, but for the first time in a while, it felt like we were taking the fight to Vince instead of the other way around.

Y/n’s POV

Chris paced the living room, running his hands through his hair, his mind clearly racing. "We need somewhere far enough that Vince’s guys wouldn’t think to look, but not so far that it draws attention. Any ideas?"

I leaned back on the couch, the memory of a specific place stirring in my mind. "What about Cape Cod?"

He stopped pacing and turned to me, his expression softening slightly. "Cape Cod?” He hesitated. "Are you sure you’d want to go back there, given, y’know, how nice that memory was?"

I smiled faintly, trying to offer a sense of calm despite the chaos. "I’ve never been more sure, Chris. It’s exactly the kind of place we need right now."

Before we could talk more, the front door opened, and Nate and Willow stepped in, each carrying serious expressions. Nate tossed a small bag onto the coffee table and pulled out a handful of cheap, boxy burner phones.

"One for each of us" he said, handing one to me. "But don’t turn it on until we’re out of the city. No GPS signals, no calls, no nothing. We’re off the grid for now."

"Any ideas on where we’re going?" Nate asked, glancing between Chris and me.

"I suggested Cape Cod" I said. "I could call the Airbnb owner when we’re on the road and see if they’d take us tonight for a night or two?"

"One problem.." Nate said, glancing at Chris. "How do we get him into the car without running the risk of being spotted? They think I’m grieving, we can’t run the risk of someone lurking, especially since he decided to just bolt out of the car earlier, kid climbed up that tree like he was fucking Tarzan."

I thought for a moment before the solution hit me. "The garage" I said. "It’s connected to the house. If we park the rental car inside, Chris can just walk straight out into the back seat. No one will see him."

Nate nodded. "Smart. Let’s do that."

He grabbed the keys to the rental and drove it into the garage, keeping the door down until everything was set. I double checked the windows, making sure the curtains were drawn tight, before helping Willow gather the last of our things.

We piled into the car, Chris and I taking the back seat. The tinted windows made me feel a little safer, though not by much. Nate drove us out, keeping to back roads and avoiding major intersections.

“Will I see about this Airbnb now?” I questioned, not knowing if I'm doing any of this right.

“Should be okay.” Nate nods, glancing at me through the rear view mirror.

Chris nodded, his brow furrowed in thought. "Tell them we’ll pay upfront, cash, and extra for last minute convenience."

I grabbed my burner phone, toggling the private caller ID setting before dialing the number. My paranoia was through the roof now, but I told myself it was just a precaution. After a few rings, the owner picked up.

"Hi" I started, my voice as calm as I could make it, making sure I didn’t give a name. "I stayed at your place in Cape Cod not too long ago. I know it’s last minute, but is there any chance you’d have availability for tonight? Just for a night or two? We can pay extra, upfront, in cash."

The owner hesitated, probably thinking about how unusual the request was, but after a beat, they agreed. Relief washed over me as I ended the call.

"They’re good with it" I told everyone. "We just have to get there."

"Perfect" Chris said. The cityscape faded behind us as we started the journey to Cape Cod, the weight of uncertainty hanging in the air. I rested my head against Chris’s shoulder, my mind racing with a thousand questions.

What was waiting for us out there? Would this plan work? Could we finally end this?

The answers were unclear, but for now, the only thing I could do was hold onto Chris and hope for the best.

a/n: we're plotting rn

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo o @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons @mattsside @riasturns @sturnslutz @chrisstxrnsaxe @2prcntmilkluvr @trevorsgodmother

[abyss-seer]

Soul Soothing Messages

Pick any one of the 6 piles

****Viewer Discretion is Advised****

Tarot Readings are meant for entertainment purposes only, take them as a second opinion only. The purpose of these readings is to bring insights into a person's life, hence only take the guidance with your own free will. Tarot Reader is/will not be held responsible for the viewer's actions. Viewer Discretion is strictly advised and to be adhered to while watching tarot readings for themselves.

USE YOUR DISCERNMENT. DO NOT FOLLOW ANYTHING BLINDLY. THESE READINGS ARE MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

*******INDIVIDUALS SEEKING LEGAL, MEDICAL, OR ANY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE ARE ADVISED TO SEEK PROFESSIONALS OF THESE RELATED AREAS. ********

Individuals seeking mental, emotional, or psychological attention are advised to seek mental healthcare professionals, or the National Health Care Helplines of their respective countries and consider the opinions, resources, and guidance of these professionals as their first priority and the tarot reader's words as a friendly opinion or as a friendly advice

Pile 1

Confirmations: Golden hour - JVKE, Magic Shop - BTS, Moon - Jin,Bts

Seaweed grass, neck problems, back problems

Dear Pile 1,

My loves, you are amazing, radiant, and beautiful exactly as you are. There’s nothing you need to change about yourself to win the love of someone special. You’ve never had to become someone else or mold yourself into a fictional ideal to be worthy of love. True love comes when you are unapologetically yourself.

Pile 1, take care of yourself—especially your neck and back! Don’t strain them by staring down at your phone all the time, and maybe turn down the blasting music in your ears. There’s a whole world around you waiting to be explored.

Why let the fear of judgment hold you back? Break free from the imaginary cages you’ve built and step into the light. The internet might feel limitless, but it’s still another cage if you use it to hide from the real world. Are you constantly doubting your looks or imagining what kind of person you think others want you to be? Stop overthinking!

The world will love you for who you are. There are people out there who won’t judge your views—some will even find them inspiring and find you incredibly attractive. You have unique perspectives, and people can learn from them. So, ask your questions openly, share your thoughts freely, and embrace this world as a classroom where we are all students, each learning at our own pace.

Take a moment to reflect on what you want in a soulmate and the kind of people you wish to surround yourself with. Let this be a reminder that your authentic self is enough. There are people who will love and accept you wholeheartedly for who you are, who you’ve been, and who you will become.

No matter what happens, someone out there will always cherish you just as you are.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 2

Confirmations: very mindful very demure trend, very subtle, slow and steady, stand offish, emblem, victorious, knowledgeable, September, Virgo Season, Virginia

Dear Pile 2,

Contemplative, introspective, patient, victorious, revolutionary—how many more labels do you need to define yourself? Do you really have to carry the weight of this "serious identity" of being a leader? Do you think anyone—or anything—could truly define who you are?

Why look at yourself through a stranger’s lens? Does that perspective truly capture your essence? Who are you at your core? Is the person within you the one calling the shots, or have you let someone else take the reins? Even Girish (Lord Shiva) himself couldn’t define you—only you can. (Some of you could love mountain strolls, ‘Girish’ means one who resides in mountains. Maybe some of you worship a mountain deity like a Shinto deity)

This isn’t something a tarot reader can tell you because deep down, you already know it. So, what’s holding you back? Are you unaware of your own potential? Haven’t you seen the hurdles you’ve overcome to reach this point in your life?

Why feel embarrassed about being in a better position now? Why isolate yourself when you’ve already earned your victories? Do you really need to shrink yourself to fit into the mold of others, or should those trying to limit you rise to meet your level? Which path sounds more empowering and true to growth?

Pile 2, stop accommodating people who judge others based on superficial flaws. Instead, move at your own pace, staying true to your ethics, standards, and values. Ask yourself: what do you really love to do? What would you pursue if judgment didn’t exist?

Because here’s the truth: it’s possible to live that life. And not just live it—leave a legacy that others will remember. Your soul’s unique signature is meant to inspire, to create waves in the world.

So, go after what excites you. Reignite that spark. Make life worth remembering.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 3

Dear Pile 3,

Alright, Pile 3, who’s the person that’s stolen your heart? Do you feel sad about not being noticed or seen by them? Does this person inspire you in some way? Do they leave you at a loss for words?

Aww, my sweet little angels, don’t be sad! Your heart doesn’t deserve to carry this kind of ache. Let me tell you something: you’ll never know what could happen unless you express your feelings.

This lesson applies to more than just love—it’s the same with your career. Some of you might have experienced hardship, maybe even violence or exclusion, possibly because of poverty or feeling left out. These moments can make you question your path in life. When it comes to love, you’ve been hesitant to take risks. And in your career, you still feel uncertain.

The real issue, Pile 3, is that you’re not standing up for yourself. You fear judgment and hesitate to take bold steps. Your Manipura Chakra (solar plexus) and Visuddha Chakra (throat) are calling out to you. They’re urging you to be honest, make a strategic move, and take charge of your life.

Remember your Shakti! You are not here to be preyed upon or diminished. You’re here to walk this Earth like a tigress—strong, proud, and full of grace. You have the power to reclaim your rightful space and radiate light onto others.

Now is the time to cleanse yourself of negativity, self-doubt, and unrequited energy. Clear your mind, space, and body of anything holding you back. Take a moment to stretch, breathe deeply, and let happiness fill your soul. Go for a walk, feel the freedom, and let yourself reconnect with your purpose.

I promise you, success is within your reach—whether it’s in love, your career, or life itself. Take a step back, relax, and trust that Devi Durga is with you, guiding you toward your light. Embrace who you are, do what excites you, and show courage when it’s needed. Take risks, stand up for yourself, and trust that you’re on the right path.

You’ve got this, Pile 3! Shine bright, take the leap, and know the way will reveal itself.

Good day, my loves. Bubbye!

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 4

Confirmations:

Film based, happy hare,638,368,63,36,93, multiples of 3,21, sea monsters, percy Jackson, someone’s nickname could be or mean ‘monkey’, mooncake, mid-autumn festival,707,909,yoy,LOL,

This pile reminds me a lot of PJ series and all the sea goddess, Beren and Luthien, Lord of Rings and Hobbit, 3 letter palindrome with letter ‘o’ in the middle could be significant, Having Strict teachers and parents growing up,Sailor Moon, religious leaders like pandits or priests forcing culture on you, Character of Father Nelson from Hilda Furracao, Guru Dronacharya disabling someone's growth to enable someone else.

Dear Pile 4,

Are you constantly changing yourself to be loved by others? Are you holding on to the idea of a “dream partner” from childhood, wishing for someone as idealistic as the fantasy? Do you find yourself torn between loving the real person in front of you and the ideal person in your mind? My loves, isn’t it exhausting to hold people to the impossible standards of your favorite anime or fictional character?

It’s time to stop wasting your energy trying to change people or resenting them for not meeting those expectations. Real love doesn’t come from forcing others to fit your mold. Why do you feel the need to change others? Is it because you struggle to accept them—or maybe even yourself?

Are you in connections where you pretend to be someone you’re not? Does the idea of looking beyond the “mist” of a perfect life seem unbearable? Pile 4, take a deep look within. Where is this mist coming from? Is it the people around you or fears rooted in past trauma? Whatever the source, clarity begins with you.

For some of you, this mist may stem from childhood expectations. Perhaps a mother figure or other authority figures imposed strict control, criticized every small mistake, and denied you the space to fail and learn. Maybe decisions were made for you, leaving you fearful and indecisive despite knowing what you needed to do.

I sense echoes of Eklavya from Indian mythology but in a negative context —someone who was subservient and maladaptive because they weren’t given the freedom to adapt or grow cause their thumb was cut off to stop their growth. You might have faced harsh punishments, controlling parents, or strict teachers, which instilled meekness and fear of failure. For some, even religious or cultural traditions may have felt stifling, leaving little room for individuality.

Pile 4, I’m so sorry if you endured any of this. Do you settle for what you’re given because you were taught that’s all you deserved? Have past experiences, like being bullied for your accent or identity, left you afraid to ask for more or show your true self? (I am specifically getting Kim Kardashian's NYC accent, its as if someone was bullied for their accent which ended up in them never asking questions again out of embarrassment, aww pile 4, iam so sorry for what you went through. This should have never happened, I hope you know that and beleive me when I say so. It should have never happened you, alright? Love you so much 🩷)

Listen to me: you don’t have to be the person others forced you to become. Let your soul breathe. Release yourself from expectations and labels that don’t align with who you truly are. Life is full of gifts if you choose to see them. Heal from your fear of delays and failure. Let go of hyper-independence and control.

You weren’t meant to carry the weight of the world alone. Let others help you. Don’t let past bullying or harshness keep you from caring for yourself or connecting with others. Recognize these patterns, ask yourself the right questions, and start your healing journey.

There is help out there—mental health hotlines, domestic abuse support, and professionals ready to assist you. Please know you never deserved to be treated poorly. You are unique and worthy of expressing your true self. Don’t suppress your light; don’t let these experiences turn into controlling tendencies or victimization.

Pile 4, you are bigger and better than the labels and burdens placed upon you. Let go of the harshness of the world and embrace the beautiful soul you were born to be. Celebrate yourself and find joy in the things that resonate with your spirit.

You might enjoy songs like “Just Right” by GOT7, “Nunu Nana” by Jessie, or “Born to Be” by Nano. Let them remind you of your worth and strength.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 5

Confirmations:

child,baby,chidren,111, zen meditation, earth sign, mother mature, river goddess, mother gaia, a very beautiful meditative spot, a very good ecosystem, jeji,jiji,gg,gigi, shaktivism, devi energy coming through,

Jeju island in korea, best childhood memory relating to cellphone ringtone, come hard at me, hard carry got 7, alternating current, bird sound ringtone, nokia cellphone, 1980s to 1990s, remembering taking a phone call of a beloved family member, message of concern, coffin, news related to someone’s death, one question that doesn’t change in your mind,Rishab or bishop, motherly nature, very organized.

Pile3 and pile 1 could be significant for you

Dear Pile 5,

It seems you might be in a very vulnerable place right now. I’m sensing deep emotional struggles, and for some, even thoughts of self-harm. My dear Pile 5, if this resonates with you, please seek help immediately. If you’ve experienced abuse, emotional suppression, or even substance struggles, know that you are not alone. There are people who care, support systems available, and resources like suicide helplines to turn to.

If you feel lost, start small—reach out to a trusted friend, a past colleague, or someone you feel safe with. Don’t let the doubts planted in your mind stop you from seeking the help you deserve. You are worthy of healing and support.

For those of you who have endured this pain, justice will come—but don’t focus on revenge or the past. Instead, focus on you. Build yourself up, prioritize your mental health, and reclaim your strength. Therapy, support groups, and professional help can be lifesaving. There is no shame in seeking help—it is an act of courage.

You may feel like your dreams, energy, and hope have faded, but that’s just an illusion. You still have strength within you to start over. Listen to “N’y Pense Plus” by Tayc or “Daisy” by Stereo Dive Foundation—they might bring some solace. Remember, no matter how exhausted or defeated you feel, this heaviness is temporary, not your reality.

If your mind replays past memories or clings to moments of comfort during abuse, that’s your trauma talking. Be patient with yourself. Trauma takes time to heal, but healing is possible. If there’s someone you trust—someone whose words could lift you up—reach out to them now.

If you’re in an abusive relationship or situation, get out of it right away. Your intuition already knows who to turn to for safety and support. Listen to that voice inside you. You deserve love, care, and peace. Don’t carry this burden alone—talk to someone, even if it’s online. Vent, share, cry, but don’t keep it bottled up.

Pile 5, I love you, and I want you to take care of yourself. Healing starts when you reach out and let it all out. You are stronger than you think, and your life is worth fighting for.

Take care, my dear. I’ll leave you with this: you can and will rise again. You are not alone.

With love,

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

Pile 6

Confirmations:

Nature sound, bird watching, chirping of birds, nightangle, happy hare song, I need u by bts, run by bts, something about doing drggs in bathtub, Suffered by a bunch of goons, heart shapes, dwarf, someone breaking up on phone due to the other cheating, Taste – Sabrina Carpenter, Someone saying they have been known to share their (cookies) or (peonies) everywhere, hiring a Private Investigator to uncover that the person was lying about their misery to get money out of you 🫠🤷🏽‍♀️, Seven by Jungkook, you could want the cookie or peony seven days a weeks, 24x7, 365 days, s*x addicted, Dimple - BTS but all of it feels heavy illegal so it increases the taboo, Serenity by Jimin. I channeled "Kpop Singers, Kpop Band and Kpop Man" in my head, wanting to commit some sort of treason or illegal deed (or idk make them cheat ) for a lover, 100 ways by Jackson Wang, Pretty Please - Jackson Wang, Pretty Please by Dua Lipa, Someone's beggin someone to bite the forbidden apple, What the heck! Pile 6 you are interesting af, seems like you are hanging on the line between good and bad.

Dear Pile 6,

You’re not just a chess player—you’re the grandmaster of strategy! Your message carries the wisdom of ancestors, and you radiate a fiery resilience that reminds me of Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Like her, you’ve endured pain, abuse, and underestimation but transformed it all into wisdom. You waited, learned, and now stand ready to claim your crown. You’re the underestimated force no one saw coming—what a powerful energy!

Pile 6, I see you. You’ve worked hard, earned your success, and now indulge in the fruits of your labor. Luxury suits you. Seven by Jungkook? That’s your vibe, along with 365 days. But beneath it all, loneliness lingers. You may wonder if you’ll ever find true love or family again. Some of you may even feel orphaned in spirit, longing for connection.

You’re being asked to let things flow. Don’t overthink or take shortcuts to cope with disappointment. If a dream or relationship didn’t work out, stop replaying it in your mind. Release it. Change your perspective and focus on your growth. Your work likely involves communication or intellectual skills, so channel your energy there.

For those who feel a deep sadness from broken relationships or missed opportunities, let go of trying to rationalize what went wrong. The answers won’t soothe you. Focus instead on your aspirations. Someone here might resonate with country music, rural living, or have a love for animals like horses. Express your desires boldly—don’t shy away, even if you’re on the closeted side. Someone here could be from the year of horse or Ashwini, Shatabhisha, moola and Ardra (I was getting dog yoni) Nakshatra or a Sagittarius or can have a pet shop or stable full of horses.

If conflicts around family property, betrayal, or unresolved commitments are weighing on you, it’s time to release the baggage. Feeling cheated or betrayed, especially by family or a past lover, can be overwhelming. But holding onto anger only prolongs your pain. Stop revisiting old wounds or seeking validation from those who wronged you. If a cheater or manipulative ex resurfaces, don’t let their sob stories reel you back in. Protect your peace and move forward.

You’ve been blessed with a fresh start—don’t waste it looking backward. The attachments you hold to past people or situations may feel familiar, but they are chains. Trust me, better people and opportunities are waiting for you. If anyone from your past tries to return, proceed cautiously, and never let them exploit you again. Friends and lovers who only take from you aren’t worth your time.

Pile 6, you’re a star, and you deserve relationships that uplift you, not drag you down. Let go of anyone who dims your light. Cut the snakes from your garden and welcome those who genuinely care for you.

Stay radiant, stay strong, and have a fabulous day!

Bye-bye 😊

Your Friend

Abyss Seer

[dadsbongos]

i eat your skin - f.megumi

part of the jjk movie marathon event / movie selection … warnings - cunnilingus (fem reader), title sounds like vore smut but it isn't i promise word count - 3.7 K / rating - R

Megumi braces his hands on his knees, brows pinched tight in preemptive annoyance. Satoru spindles over him, shadowing the younger man almost completely - and it only serves to irritate Megumi that he’d refused to sit down. Furiously determined to forever humiliate his former pupil, Megumi assumes.

Or, he would, if Satoru hadn’t actually agreed to give him advice about a little… situation.

“Alright, now when you see her, look at me- seriously, look at me, Megumi,” Satoru’s face is lethally drawn, usual bright grin tugged low and serious with furrowed brows to match, “Megumi, you cannot let her intimidate you,” Megumi opens his mouth, a vile retort slithers back down his throat when Satoru interrupts, “No, I know you, and you’ll feel all sick,” he mocks a frown, even pretending to wipe tears from his eyes, “You’ll get all nervous. But you cannot let her intimidate you out of it.”

“I’ll hardly die asking her out,” Megumi rolls his eyes, one hand lathering the sweat in his palms against his sweatpants and the other scratching the back of his neck, “Maybe this just isn’t a good idea…”

“And what? Be a miserable wimp the rest of your life?” Satoru folds his arms across his chest, “You’ve liked her since you were first years.”

“And?”

“You’re graduates now!”

“So?”

“‘So,’” Satoru mimics Megumi’s sulking nature, voice deep and neanderthal-ish in nature, “Be greedier, kid!” he flicks the younger man’s forehead, “You’ll die one day. You’ll die. Whether it be on a mission, or in your hospital bed as a diseased old man - you can’t stop it. So, why deprive yourself of something you really want when it all ends the same?”

Megumi can’t exactly pinpoint the reason he even came to his old legal guardian for help over, say, Nanami. He definitely should’ve gone to Nanami, at least he could’ve given Megumi genuine advice that isn’t some children’s show morale of “just tell her how you feel!” - he could’ve done that any day.

When Megumi opens his mouth to protest, Satoru flicks him again.

“You think your special one,” Megumi gags loudly at the title, and Satoru pays it no mind, “is gonna sit around her entire life not having fun and being young? Getting dates?” Satoru nods to himself when Megumi doesn’t reply, “Duh.”

“I want this to be special,” Megumi insists, both hands coming to rest in his lap now, he squeezes them together, lacing his fingers and imagining how yours would look with him instead, “I want- “

He wants and wants and wants and does nothing.

He needs to be someone you simply can’t fathom saying no to, he needs it so bad his stomach churns just like Satoru said it would.

“Alright, I know it can be difficult for you - not being me, after all,” a large hand claps on Megumi’s shoulders and he looks up to see the beaming face attached, “But trust me, kid, this whole idea of a ‘special’ confession is archaic bullshit compared to just being yourself.”

“I thought girls liked special confessions?”

“Sexist: not all girls automatically like the same things,” his former teacher shakes his head, sighing out each disappointed fiber trapped in his soul, “And if she doesn’t accept a plain, Megumi-style date proposition, then her shock and awe over a sick-as-hell graphic novel confession isn’t going to make for a healthy relationship.”

“Hm,” Megumi bites back frustrated curses, taking the words and molding them into a more conventional way that actually makes sense. He nods, “Okay.”

“Exactly,” Satoru stands back, giving Megumi room to rise from his bed, “Oh, but one thing that does help?” the older man grins wickedly, “Eat her out. Direct line to a woman’s heart is through eating her pussy.”

“Shut up,” Megumi huffs, pointing at his wide-open bedroom door, “Shut up. Shut up and get the hell out.”

“Jeez,” Satoru yanks at the already loose collar of his plain black shirt, “I thought we left teen angst behind. Just give it some thought! And also, I wanted to ask- “

Megumi huffs, falling back onto his bed, still pointing at the door.

“If,” and in true fashion, Satoru continues, maybe even a little louder (just to prove a point), “you wanted to watch a movie?”

“No,” Megumi immediately answers.

“C’mon! It’s this or paperwork I have to do.”

Megumi’s eye roll gives Satoru no more room for pleading, and so he stalks back to the living room. Dragging his socked feet over a shaggy black rug towards the door, he takes a final peek over his shoulder at the boy on his bed. Stupid mouth in a stupid pout and stupid nose forcing stupid crocodile sniffles, Satoru acts out a picturesque performance. And if his blindfold were off, Megumi is certain he’d catch big blue eyes framed by batting white lashes.

“No, “ Megumi rolls his eyes again, “‘m going out.”

…

Blushy top with faded blue bell bottoms and a shiny, thin chain that dangles across your chest, Megumi’s eyes flit away from your figure just as quick as they’d found you. Everything’s a little murky under the purple LEDs, but he thinks you’ve worn that before. He thinks you’re somehow more beautiful now. He looks away, snaking through a narrow, picture-framed hallway at Yuuji’s back to this house’s kitchen. There are no light strips strapped across the kitchen walls, simple and plain and unflattering fluorescent bulbs send a gentle cream wash over the walls.

With only a handful of straggling bodies leaning against peeling-edged faux wood cabinets and spotted countertops, there’s more room to breathe than in the hall. Red Solo cups from every teen movie nightmare decorate hands and unnerving corners. Some more anxious part of him wants to reach out and push every precarious ruby further back into secure landing, but he doesn’t.

Two women in complimentary spaghetti strap dresses flounce out of the kitchen with looped arms. They’re sunk into the plum tank until Megumi can’t see them at all anymore.

“Oh, like that!” you muse, nudging your chin towards a pair in matching floral print dresses that reach about mid-thigh, “Exactly my point.”

“That’s hardly 70s influenced,” the man in front of you - Jirou? Junto? Jouji? you don’t really recall - shakes his head, “Just flowers.”

“No, no, look at the trim,” you’re trying your hardest not to point but this guy just cannot pinpoint the details in your mind to save his life, “It’s flowy and mesh. Sort of. That’s a little more flower child era, right?”

“I guess, if your only experience in that fashion was movies,” you huff at the response and he laughs in the face of such exasperation.

“Whatever! You’re so difficult.”

“Hobby,” it’s so plain out of his lips. Like you should somehow be expecting that snark.

“Oh my God…” you can hardly believe someone could be so obtuse. A contrarian just for the fun of it, “And are you normally invited to parties for that?”

“Oh, no,” his tone, again, betrays some delusion that you should already know the answer, but this time you do already know. Who invites a conversation killer to an event? “I got dragged here by a friend. Don’t even know who the host is.”

You snicker, one hand smothering the sight of your mouth, “That makes more sense.”

Megumi can see the hand that binds, you usually don’t string it up around those you’re close with. Like Yuuji and Nobara and Maki and Miwa from Kyoto and your friends that live closer to the coast and the friends that don’t and your parents and him. So you’d think he’d know better than to let a big, gangly, clawed, green beast sprout and grow and suck away at his gut.

Even though that hand is a sign of some rising desire to be out of that conversation, he still hates being across the room when it happens. Because that’s still some semblance of a shining star behind the flesh. Some laugh or smile he’s not next to.

And it isn’t like he hates when you’re out with others. What he hates is being in the same room with someone potentially more captivating than he is.

He hopes you like him best because he’s the most familiar and drawing, and it’s disturbing when someone else might be more homely and more charming and more absorbing. He hates the curdling illness of jealousy and he hates to be this way when you two aren’t even together, but most of all he hates that maybe you’ll prefer someone else simply because they’re better at his craft than he is.

So Megumi watches and rots quietly with thick, spindling vines spreading and tangling him to the kitchen doorway as you talk to a guy whose name he doesn’t know. It’s pathetic and waning most unbearably.

“Stop staring, it’s weird,” Yuuji chastises, chunking part of his weight against Megumi’s side, an elbow shelved on Megumi’s shoulder, “Just go up and say something, if you wanna talk to her.”

“Yeah, it’s that easy,” Megumi jerks through the vines and into the hungry waters of a living room party with a snapping, starved crowd before finding the optimal spot: a plain wall with no posters or pictures to snag and smack down.

Yuuji trails after, his white shirt reflecting a blinding shade of lavender from beneath his puffer jacket. Much easier to track down than Megumi’s gloomy, funeral-grade attire. Yuuji capitalizes on the empty space so ugly at Megumi’s side, staking claim to the wall with a huff, “It is, by the way. You two are friends. Go tell her you’re here.”

“But then I’d have to,” Megumi’s mouth zips shut, head tilting as he snakes a hand through some imaginary crowd.

“I guess,” Yuuji wants to shake Megumi at times like this. He wants to shake you too, sometimes. But mostly he imagines squeezing Megumi’s shoulders and smacking him around, but he never does.

Maybe just the first part.

All out of love.

“Okay,” so Yuuji pivots, swerving in front of his best friend and taking one shoulder in each hand, “You need to do something or you’re going to sit here and be pouty, dude.”

“I’m not pouty.”

“Biggest lie in Tokyo, brother,” Yuuji purses his lips, eyes flitting to where you are, “I’ll get her over here if you really don’t want to.”

“Hm?” Megumi’s brows furrow, neck craning closer as if he could somehow mishear the man.

“Just pretend to be busy or some shit and I’ll brave the crowd,” Yuuji goes to walk away, suddenly pausing and placing a hand over Megumi’s heart, “And if I don’t return, sing songs for me by a nice lake every anniversary.”

“Whatever,” Megumi knocks away the hand but is already pulling out his phone to perform the charade. His eyes lock onto the screen and he soldiers on to not rip them away and give slight that this was planned.

…

“Do you think I could maybe get your number?”

“Oh!” no, God no - you wish you were better at saying that, “Uh,” it’s not even as if you dislike this guy, you just don’t think any conversation with him could amount past what it has.

Wow, you’re a pain in the ass! Yeah but it’s funny, right? Not if it’s on purpose. Especially if it’s on purpose! Sure, if that’s what you think. You do think it’s funny, right? Sure. Come on, it is! Sure.

And dry replies make you want to claw your eyes out more when you have to give them than when you receive them.

So when the bony fingers of Yuuji creep upon your side, it’s like the first drink of water after sifting through thick bowls and hills of sandy desert. He leans his head down into your peripheral, grinning brightly, “Miss me?”

“Yuuji!” you cheer, turning to… Junsei? and laying a flat palm under Yuuji’s chin, “This is my buddy, who I didn’t know was coming.”

“I texted you,” he pinches your side, “Fushiguro’s busy, so I’m fetching you for the night,” and you wonder if he might feel the stiffness of your muscles and the rigid air, “Sorry, man, but she’s got serious business tonight!”

“Oh,” Junzo! Junzo’s forehead crinkles, nose wrinkling at the bluntness of this cocky new stranger, “Uh…”

“See you around,” maybe it’s a lie, maybe it isn’t. You wave and let Yuuji keep you pressed to his side. You wait until you’re certain the surrounding affairs of other people drown whatever you could say to Yuuji, “Thank you for that. He was asking for my number and I just didn’t know what to say…”

“No,’” he shrugs.

“Oh, like you could’ve done that.”

“I could’ve!”

But Yuuji can do anything, so that isn’t fair.

“‘gumi!” you cheer upon getting close to the boy, arms splaying wide before wringing yourself around his neck, “I was worried you weren’t coming!”

He hesitates before having the misfortune to hear Satoru’s words once again. Be greedier. Be greedier. So he gently settles both hands on your back, pushing you chest-to-chest, “Yeah, well, Itadori wouldn’t let me stay in.”

“Poor baby,” you step back, and Megumi takes notice in how you maintain your hands’ position over his shoulders, nails picking at fluff on his shirt.

Megumi, regrettably, can still hear Satoru in the back of his head. Greedier, greedier, greedier. It chokes him up, the idea of selfishly taking you for himself. But what really grips him is the terrible way your gaze flits from his face to other men - unintentionally, he’s sure. But it drives him wild all the same.

“I hate big parties,” Megumi boldly cradles the bend of your waist with his hand, fingers splaying wide over the curve. He tugs you closer, thighs nearly brushing, “Crowd’s a pain in the ass.”

“Ah, no, c’mon, what’s that Great Gatsby quote?” who’s to say, he hasn't read that book, “‘I like large parties. They’re so intimate…’” you shrug, bottom lip tugging between your teeth when he doesn’t show any recognition, “‘At small parties there isn’t any privacy.’”

“You actually remembered that shit?”

You titter coyly, “Maybe I saw it on one of those book quotes videos. Maybe I remembered it.”

“Well, it’s a stupid quote. There’s too much noise at big parties, it’s hard to hear people.”

“You hear me just fine,” that’s just because he’s leaning closer and trying harder than he does for most people, “Besides, I like it. At big parties you can just fuck off and do your own thing, you know? At small parties there’s this expectation to be around everyone and interact with everyone and be having fun with the group.”

Finally, it seems to click, he nods slowly, “You like to get away from the crowd?”

“Yeah,” you scratch the side of your arm, then your neck, and it’s so odd how just thinking about how uncomfortable your skin is that you can get so itchy, “Hard to do that when the crowd’s five people and a dog.”

“Well,” Megumi can feel Yuuji’s stare, and it takes everything in him to not knock the kid up his skull, “If you wanna get away, I’m sure - uh,” he’s suddenly humiliated by his own hubris, “I’m sure there’s room… upstairs…”

You grace him with a patient nod, hands lowering from his shoulders to lace your fingers together, “I’m sure there is.”

…

“So…”

“So…”

Megumi nods, head slowly tilting so he’s staring up at you through his long lashes, “So.”

You lean closer, shoulder pressing and nose bumping against his, “So?”

The heat from Megumi’s cheeks wavers over you, his flesh ripe with crimson. You want to bite him. Leave a terrible mark that he couldn’t possibly cover up; maybe he’d let it bleed through his dark shirt. Maybe he’d let you lick it clean.

“You look nice,” he tucks his face down, heated skin now flush against your top. His brows furrow, uncertain, “Really nice.”

Megumi wonders what Satoru or Yuuji would do. They’re greedier than him by nature. More outgoing.

They would’ve done something years ago.

Suddenly, you grin. All sharp teeth and nails pricking over his thigh, through his pants. Your eyes stare down at him over the bridge of your nose, and you lean closer - smothering any space he’d initially put between your bodies.

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

Megumi’s eyes widen, warmth beating over his face and the back of his neck. He flails for a response, trapped under your piercing gaze, before finally settling on a response that he hopes pleases you.

“Do you want me to?”

You frown; something in his chest stings, a chord pulled awry. The tug of your lips is all a ploy, a mesmerizing color to disguise venom, “Don’t you want to, ‘gumi?” you pull away, leaning back with your hands pressed to the mattress below, “Don’t you want me?”

A cold breeze from this stranger’s open window takes up residence across Megumi’s sweltering skin. He hates it. He wants to get up from the bed altogether and slam the window shut. He wants to take you in both hands and sink himself into the softness of your skin. He thinks you’d be savory.

He wants to be certain.

So both of his hands mold to your hips, melting his exposed skin to yours.

Fingers dipping into the waistband of your bottoms, he bats his eyelashes and tucks his lower lip between fangs. He may draw blood. He cares not.

The oxygen is thin; hardly refreshing.

Megumi swallows the pooling want on his tongue, his fingers twitch against you, “Can I- “

“‘gumi…” you flatten yourself onto your back, hips tilting up into his palms, “Show me you want me.”

“Okay,” Megumi nods, air forced out of his throat through swollen hunger, “Okay.”

Once he’s gotten your pants off, Megumi presses open kisses against the inside of your thighs, following the swell to its natural apex. He digs the jab of his nose into you, lips impolitely fluttering against the seat of your panties before dipping his tongue out. Lolling the soft, soaked muscle over the clinging fabric, he feels his chest clench at how you rock your hips down into his face.

He feels one of your hands wind into his messy hair, carding through the softness. He wants to make you tug it - pull cruelly and grind against his face. Take what he gives and selfishly demand more.

Megumi groans heartily into your clothed cunt when the slickness of his saliva pulls your wetness from the cloth; when the unabashed taste of you meets his tongue.

He nearly rips your panties down your legs, settling it in a ball at his side. Heart leaping up into his jaw at the mere thought of getting his tongue into you.

Laving his tongue between your folds, Megumi licks up to your clit and circles the bud - his hips jerking down into the plush mattress when you jolt up and tug his hair. He pulls his head back only to pucker his lips and drool onto your hole, adding to the sloshing wetness before steadying his shaky fingers against you.

Sucking your clit into his mouth, Megumi begins softly. Caressing the bundle of nerves with his warm tongue, blending flat, broad strokes with precision dances of the muscle over you. Meanwhile, he slicks his middle finger into your hole and moans in response to your gasp.

When he’s sure you’re wet and stretched enough, he adds a second finger and curls them both upwards. The muscles in his arm will be aching tomorrow, but he shoves that to the back of his mind. He presses and scissors and dips inside you until the pads of his fingers find sponge, and he hits there, and there again. And again. And again. And again.

He hits there until you’re fully babbling, gushing against his swollen, pink lips and chin. And he’s starting to babble back.

Vibrations are loosely strewn together as ‘yes’ and ‘please’ and ‘cum on me’ are bound against your clit as he nuzzles closer into your heat. Burying himself between your thighs and finding himself releasing a moan into your cunt when your thighs clenched tightly around his head. The fat of your thighs snug over his ears.

Releasing your clit from between his lips with a soft ‘pop’, Megumi flays his tongue onto the exposed nerve. Hot puffs of air leave him with each groan and whimper as his desperation to make you cum hammers over him.

Finally, you yank his hair again and snap your hips into his tongue; cunt sucking his fingers in even deeper. You squeeze around him, back arching, and his name singing from your lips.

Megumi unfurls his fingers as your cum splashes out onto his waiting tongue and chin, riding you through the hurls of pleasure until your twitching legs crash back onto the mattress. Slowly, he slides his fingers out of you before licking up your excess release from the divots in your thighs and your cunt.

Unwinding your fingers, you settle for soothing his stinging scalp with gentle pets.

Eventually sitting up, Megumi gasps for air as you do, staring down at his fingers. Shining with your wetness.

“Still hungry?” you tease, voice ripped at the edges.

“Actually?” Megumi shrugs, “A little.”

The cocky air has dissipated from your body. Once tense and lively limbs were now useless against the bed.

Megumi jams both fingers into his mouth and sucks off your cum.

“Insatiable!” you huff.

Rouge has overtaken Megumi’s cheeks - worse than before - and he can’t meet your eyes after having swallowed what remained of your soak. He leans over onto his elbow to avoid crushing you, “Only when it’s you… I don’t,” he waves his hand around, “do this often…”

“Really? Could’ve fooled me.”

Megumi has to hide his grin, almost embarrassed to enjoy being praised, choosing to take up time looking around the room you’d shoved him into.

Idol posters with one constant member litter the walls. Pink concert tickets cover the desk. And many pictures with the same two people overwhelm Megumi’s sight. He feels an unsettled chill scrawl over his skin.

“Todo is going to kill me,” he grimaces.

“Was it worth it?”

Megumi doesn’t take long to respond, already trying to think of where and when he can get you under him again, “Definitely.”

Megumi’s proper death is drowning via punani tsunami *thumbs up emoji*

[cursedlovesstuff]

Fixing Us. Part 3.

Nat woke up later than usual, the weight of the previous night's conversation still heavy on her mind.

As she stretched out her limbs, groaning softly, she dragged herself off the couch and made her way up the stairs to the bathroom to start her morning routine.

Knocking on the bedroom door, she called out Y/N's name, but there was no response.

"Y/N?" Nat called out again, opening the door to find the neatly made bed, but Y/N was nowhere in sight. Disappointment washed over Nat as she assumed Y/N had gone out with Esther, especially since it was the weekend.

Shrugging off her disappointment, Nat proceeded with her morning routine, brushing her teeth and washing her face before reaching for her phone to text Wanda, asking if she had time to talk.

Shortly after, Wanda messaged Nat back, saying she was on her way back to the tower asking if Nat wanted to meet her there to talk.

With that, Nat grabbed her keys and made her way to the Avengers Tower.

~

At the tower, Wanda greeted Nat as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"What's up?" Wanda asked.

"I messed up, and I need some advice," Nat admitted.

"When you say that you've messed up and need advice, that makes me worry," Wanda replied, concern evident in her voice.

"It's nothing bad... well, it is bad, very bad, but not enough for you to worry," Nat assured her.

"Okay, so what is it this time? Did you get spotted by Hydra agents or punch someone in the face? Because those are things that I can't help with; you'll have to ask Tony," Wanda joked.

Tony walked into the kitchen, grabbing water. "Ask Tony what?" he chimed in.

"Nat needs advice," Wanda explained.

"Oh god, I can have my lawyer here in 15 minutes. Wanda, call Y/N to let her know that Nat is in safe hands," Tony teased.

"Tony!" Nat exclaimed.

"What?" Tony asked, looking confused.

"Why is the first thing you assume when I ask for help that I'm in some sort of legal trouble?" Nat retorted.

"Because I had to bail you out for getting into a bar fight," Tony replied nonchalantly.

"I was in the bar fight protecting you and your slick mouth, but that isn't important right now. This is serious," Nat countered.

"Right, right, sorry. So, what was the advice you needed?" Tony asked, now serious.

"I think Y/N and I are heading down the path of divorce," Nat confessed.

"You think?" Wanda asked, her brow furrowing.

"No, I know," Nat corrected.

"Okay, so what did you do wrong?" Tony inquired.

"Why do you always assume I'm the one messing up and doing something wrong?" Nat questioned.

"Because Y/N is a literal angel," Wanda interjected, and Tony added, "Just a guess. So, spill the beans. Just between us girls, what did you do wrong?"

Tony earned a side-eye from Wanda and Nat.

"Don't worry about him, continue," Wanda said, brushing off Tony's comment.

Nat sighed. "Last night, Y/N and I got into an argument outside the bar and another when we got home," she admitted. "From what I know, I've spent too much time with Maria for Y/N's liking. I'm not home enough, and at some point in the argument, I may have said something that hurt Y/N deeply."

"You did what?"

"I may have said something hurtful unintentionally. We were outside of the bar, and I asked her if she could tell if Carol was just her friend or someone who wanted to sleep with her."

"Nat—"

"I know, it was stupid. I said it without thinking, and I didn't realize how much my words hurt her last night."

"Well, this is a lot worse than I expected."

"It's not just that. I think Y/N might believe that I either cheated on her with Maria or that I am currently cheating."

"Well, are you?" Tony asked.

"No, Tony, I am not cheating on Y/N, nor do I plan on it. But she doesn't believe me."

"So let me get this straight—you and Y/N got into an argument last night because you're never home and you're always out with Maria. You said something hurtful, and now she might think that you're cheating on her?"

"Yeah, that's about right. I forgot to mention the part where if I don't fix things soon, Y/N said I could marry Maria."

"You're screwed."

"Tony, stop it."

"What do you want me to lie and say everything is going to be fine? Nat's marriage is hanging on the thinnest line I have ever seen."

"I know it's on a thin line, and I want to fix it before it's too late. I came here for your advice and opinions, not to be judged."

"Well, I've never been through this situation. I think you're a workaholic, and you're so busy that you forget that Y/N is a person too, not just someone that you just met or started dating. She's your wife, and she needs to feel loved, valued, and cherished," Wanda remarked, to which Nat nodded before turning her attention to Tony.

"How did you fix things with Pepper?"

"Well, we have had our fair share of disagreements, but I'd have to say communication. You can be mad at each other, but you can't fix the problem if you don't know what the other is mad about," Tony shared.

"I tried walking in Pepper's shoes for the day, and it wasn't easy. She manages a lot of things for me, including press conferences. She helps in the lab, and when she and Wanda are taking turns, she helps cook dinner and clean up around the entire tower," Tony continued with a sigh.

"The point I'm trying to make is, don't get so mad easily and understand things from Y/N's point of view. Try and make her day easier. If she cooks breakfast, you wash the dishes. If she washes and dries the clothes, you fold them and put them up. If she's having a bad day, go out and get her favorite snacks or comfort food. Show her that you really care. It's 50/50, not 95/5 percent. Y/N is a good one; don't lose her by being stupid. It's the bare minimum," Tony concluded.

"Where do I start?"

"You can start by taking some time off work and showing Y/N that you really care. What's something that Y/N really likes?"

"She's not really a fan of really public things that are in crowded places or expensive gifts. She likes more thoughtful gifts that took time and effort."

"Maybe you can clean up the apartment, reorganize some things."

"The apartment is always clean. Y/N doesn't even like shoes going past the carpet."

"Maybe you can make her something."

"What if I cook her dinner?"

"You want to cook?" Tony asked, surprised.

"Yes, why?"

"The last time you tried to cook, you almost set the kitchen on fire."

"I didn't know what I was doing back then, but if it makes Y/N happy, I'll do anything."

"What's Y/N's favorite food?" Tony asked.

"She likes shrimp alfredo and homemade garlic toast. That's one of her favorites," Nat replied.

"Okay, shrimp alfredo and toast. What's your plan after dinner?" Wanda inquired.

"To try and get her to talk to me and hope it doesn't turn into an argument. Maybe I can get her some of her favorite things from the store to lighten her mood," Nat explained.

"It's a good start. It's getting late; we should get to the store and make dinner before Y/N gets off work," Wanda suggested.

"Y/N has a job?" Nat asked, surprised.

"Yes, you didn't know? She said she was tired of being in the house by herself all day," Wanda revealed, making Nat reflect on how close Y/N and Wanda had become.

"Well, we should get going," Wanda said after noticing Nat's silence.

"We should head out. Thank you, Tony," Nat said, acknowledging Tony before leaving the kitchen with Wanda.

"Yeah, yeah, go fix things with Y/N before I tell Fury you're breaking her heart," Tony teased as Nat and Wanda walked out of the kitchen.

[bluestarjay]

Wait wait wait what about a mha Legally Blonde inspired au?? WITH QUIRKS, but Deku is Elle and bakugo is Warner, and it doesn't really matter if deku has a quirk or not; but imagine this, bakugo asks him how the hell he got into UA, and deku goes, "what, like it's hard?" AHHH and idc who Emmett is. I really don't like bkdk, but like, them being exes and deku following him to UA to prove that he can be a hero and that he's not as helpless as bakugo thinks he is, and to prove him wrong and show that he's incredibly skilled and talented and has the potential to be a hero, while falling in love with someone who knew that from the start??? Omg. And I think it would make sense that Vivian, in this sense, would be Kirishima, but he's not an asshole!! He's just bakugos' new bf, who is supposedly much stronger than him, yk, bc Vivian is more serious than Elle. Oooh and Paulette can be All Might??? Idk, he's the wiser older character who gives advice, and I think it could work,,, actually, Iida would make a great Emmett in this au, and I love iideku 🤭🤭 but like I said, Emmett can be anyone !! Omg, Uraraka could be a good Emmett fs, too, bc she never doubted him once,,, And then, at the end, instead of bakugo trying to get deku back, he realizes he was wrong and they become bffs!!!

[ask-maxie-boy]

Goonion's Ghoul (Part 3) [dp x dc]

(A/N we switching the official name of the goonion to The First Universal Henchmans' Union. Just makes sense, thank y'all for the advice)

(Parts 1 & 2: here) (Part 4: here)

"Before we begin, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Mainly, can I ask for your preferred name?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Well, I figured it would professional to come out and call you Mr. Cobblepot, but seeing as we're talking about a... certain aspect of your enterprises, I wasn't sure you wanted your legal name in the records. The Union takes confidentiality very seriously."

Oswald Cobblepot looked down at the scrawny boy in front of him. This was the guy that had Eddie shaking in his boots? He tapped the ashes off his cigarette into the ashtray, and scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, as long as you remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth."

"Of course! As you wish, Mr. Penguin."

There it was. That smile just a bit too wide, just like Riddler had said. Oswald Cobblepot wasn't an amateur, he wouldn't let something like that throw him off balance. "Alright, kid, lets cut to the chase. Whats this all about a Union?"

"Oh, Mr. Penguin, I had thought you heard! The First Universal Henchmans' Union is a recently formed collective of working class freelance goons, henchmen, and grunts of all different colors."

"Hweh! And what do I care if a bunch of simpletons wanna have a party together?"

The kid's head tilted, a sickening crack! ringing through the room. Just for a second, its eyes seemed to glow.

When you deal with bats for so long, little things like that don't sway you.

"If they're so little to you in your mind, then surely anything they might ask of you shouldn't be that hard to swallow?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, as the thing's face tried to imitate inquisitiveness.

Good. The Penguin likes it cold.

"You can toss away the whole intimidation shtick, boy. I didn't get to be where I was by bending over to every ignoramus who thinks they can get me to do what they want."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you start to pay more attention to little expressions. The way the shadows suddenly fall onto the boy's blue-eyed, black haired face as he tilts his head downward makes The Penguin's flinch, just for a moment.

"I promise you sir, the Goonion is a very real, and very serious organization."

Cobblepot sneers, cigarette holder angling upward, as he taps his umbrella on the ground. "I pay my people well. My lounge is up to code, too. You don't have a damn thing on me, and here you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Well listen here, boy, you don't run an operation like this in Gotham without knowing fear. Fear is watching every shadow, looking for the pin pricks of light. Fear is the cracking of bones in the room over as you know the jig's up. Fear is watching Gotham's shadow spawn appear from the darkness, promising the only thing he wont do is kill you. You're way out of your league if you think I'll bend to such a cheap trick."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you learn to keep your eyes open. You keep track of exits, you look for little disturbances, keep your ears ready for even the softest sound.

You pay attention to that little voice that says you're being watched.

"Mr Penguin, do I need to remind you just who these 'simpletons' are? They're the men who carry your goods to and from your lounge. They're the ones who rig up the Riddler's bombs, traffic weapons in and out of the city. What happens when deals go south, when plans are canceled partway though?"

When you deal with Bats for so long, you watch the shadows. They practically live in them, entering and exiting like they're made from the stuff. Anything that might give away their position.

The shadows are dancing. Pulsing with something even darker than Gotham. He swears he can hear the sound of a bat gently hitting someone's hand. Distant laughter, not natural, almost forced.

"You know, Mr. Penguin, The Joker is easily one of our worst offenders. One of his more interesting complaints is the lack of security in regards to chemicals. See, he doesn't really care much if there's missing inventory, or what happens after his plan, as long as there's enough for what he needs." A vial flutters between its fingers, eyes almost bored as a forked tongue slides between sharpened teeth. "I wonder, where does it all go?

Eyes, green as emerald and as bright as the sun burn into Ozwald's. A grin stretches wider, wider, quite literally from one ear to the next filled with jagged teeth. "Do you want to find out?"

...~☆~...

"...My... smoking habits."

"Yeah, honestly. Its like you said. Most of your stuff is up to board, and your workers are fairly happy. Its mainly just an issue for henches with asthma, though secondhand smoke isn't something most people enjoy."

"You did all that over my cigarettes?!"

"its fairly understood that the Iceberg Lounge is not a smoke-free area, so you can do as you please there, but when it comes to abandoned warehouses or other places of business, we ask you please refrain from smoking."

"I can't believe this."

"For what its worth, the goons understand its part of your whole outfit, and are willing to compromise. We have a list of alternatives that visibly resemble a lit cigarette, and will fit in your holder, but wont actually release any smoke..."

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton @spikedlynx @emergentpanda-blog @starlightcat04