#not romantic but they still live rent free in each others heads

[starcrossedandstupid]

Joel and Etho never got off that boat istg

[00kittenz]

── escapism. ( lhs ) 🏔️

๑ Your parents would flip if you had a boyfriend, let alone if you’re out past curfew... but I guess you broke both of those rules tonight, didn’t you ?

pair: bf!heeseung ㅊ gf!reader | warnings: smut, fluffy fluffy fluff, curfews (ew), small fight (nothing srs), smoochies, teasing, quickies, piv, car s.x (rainy ahehehe), slow and soft s.x | words: 1.9k

[ song inspo: himotoku kaze by ichiko aoba & fantasy by lamp ]

just smth short and sweet for hee’s birthday, ily pookie <33

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“there you are, took ya’ long enough !” arose the voice of your overly impatient boyfriend. heeseung had only been waiting like five minutes since your arrival, though time wasn’t pressured. he was aware of how strict your parents were, but he still wanted to see you, badly. and the same went for you. “come here.”

“shut up.” you sassed, lazily rolling your eyes before cascading his lips in yours. the moment you touched him, you knew you weren’t ever going to let him go. you hated the thought of even being left alone. especially when someone like him could be beside you all day long, willingly. even as you’re kissing him, you felt hungrier, craving more of him, you were just so desperate.

“damn, baby” the giddy boy let out a bubbled laugh, full set of white on display, all because of you. you were euphoric. “i’m not going anywhere i promise,” he rubbed your lower back and even far down enough to cup your ass; giving it a little squeeze.

“how’d you find this place ?” your attention drifted away to how beautiful the beach looked as the sun began to set, how the huge rocks fit the sand and the flourishing waves shimmered like a piece of jewelry.

“don’t worry about it, just focus on me !” heeseung whined, wanting all your attention solely on him while he had it in his reach.

you hadn’t seen him in almost a week, which has probably been the longest you two went without seeing each other. you were always busy studying and with the way your parents would constantly be hounding over you over the smallest things, you barely had time to even relax. this was a much needed distraction for you, away from all your responsibilities and obligations that you had to fulfill. it was nice to just be able to shut off your brain and not have to think about anything else other than you and your loving boyfriend.

heeseung couldn’t be more than thrilled to see you again also. but you probably already knew that considering he’d text you everyday how much he misses you. not a minute goes by where he doesn’t think of you— you just occupy his mind 24/7, living in his head rent free as though you’ve casted a love spell on him. he was more than whipped for you, he was purely obsessed.

“let’s just enjoy our selves tonight? hm?” he takes your hand with his, leading you further towards the water. the view was beyond breathtaking, how the sunset casts a warm glow onto the currents below; the perfect ambiance for your little romantic getaway.

๑ ๑ ๑

you’re full of thoughts whenever you’re with heeseung, you compare your relationship with inanimate object, tv show characters, and even foods, the possibilities are endless. but sometimes you get a little too deep in thought, pondering other aspects of your life. like what if you didn’t have such strict, controlling parents, where would you be now ? what if you didn’t have so much pressure carried on you ? would things be better with you and heeseung ? you’d definitely feel more free... you only wondered why you were given the life that was set out for you.

“whatcha thinking ‘bout beautiful..” he rolled over onto his side, on the beach blanket heeseung bestowed for you. he knew that you hated the feel of sand on anywhere but on your feet, but you loved the beach. he knew you were picky about certain things, and you loved that about him, how always he listened to you.

his hand immediately went to caress your stomach, very gentle with his touches, as if you were as delicate as glass. he could seriously look at you all day and never get tired, you were just that interesting and pretty. what a catch. he’d only bet a million, trillion dollars there’s nobody quite like you in this entire world.

“nothing..” you were quick to lie, not wanting to ruin the moment with your woes and worries about your life and future. it wasn’t a good time, you just wanted to enjoy the moment here and now.

now you were lying in the same position as he, staring straight into his eyes. those big, brown eyes that carried a billion stars in them. looking at him was like a song. a love song. a love song on repeat that remained the same, but would get longer and longer everytime you saw him; a neverending song.

you wanted him more than anything, right now.

“nothing ? not even me ?” he found himself laughing a lot tonight, everytime he was with you, he was happy, unexplainably happy. he hated how he had to be hidden, he hated having to blur your face out in posts, having to get you to sneak out at your age.

but he did it because he loved you, more than anything. and to be honest, it wasn’t all that bad. he only hated how you gave away your independence to the people that want to keep you in their pocket, for you to never grow up. he just wanted the best for you. he knew you were better. you were strong. and you were beautiful. you were his.

“i’m already with you, why would i think about you when you’re here right now ?” your brows knit together, confused with his question. maybe, you shouldn’t have said that though, considering how sensitive he can be at times.

“so you don’t think about me ?! i think about you when I’M with you !” he pouted, his signature sulk coming into view.

“i miss you even when you’re here you know, i can’t believe you don’t even miss me righ—” your own lips cut off his. whatever he was going to say sunk into the abyss, it’s not that he forgot what he was gonna say. he just would rather not waste another word. actions speak much louder than words.

you didn’t want to argue. you couldn’t waste this precious time over such trivial matters. those weren’t important. all you wanted in this moment was to feel the heat of your boyfriend’s skin against yours, how he electrified all senses throughout your body.

you understood now, you two were the beach. you were the sand, he was the water. no matter the distance, he finds himself floating towards you. like a wave. the overwhelming feeling of love, and when he finally had you in his grasp. you’d call it a flood, maybe even a tsunami.

just as things were slowly starting to get more heated, you flinched as you felt tiny droplets of rain that’s fallen onto your cheek. you hadn’t realized it would rain tonight, not preparing at all for what’s to come. what began as only a light drizzle, soon brewed into a steady patter, the sky darkens, turning into a muted and less inviting atmosphere than it’s once vibrant hue.

“car ?” heeseung mumbles against your lips, not wanting to pull away even for a second. both of you were getting slightly soaked from the rain and it wasn’t stopping any time soon considering the faint rumbles of thunder off in the distance.

you simply nod in response, letting him pick you up and whisk you away. seeking refuge in his vehicle from the sudden rainfall that’s put a damper to your nightly escapades.

๑ ๑ ๑

“fuck.. i fucking love you, heeseung—” you were missionary, head resting against the window, feeling overwhelmed from how deep he was inside you. you felt every inch, every vein and ridge. the curve of his cock hitting your walls perfectly.

you could tear up just from the way you felt him in your tummy, splitting you open as your nails dug into his forearms, in a complete state of bliss. though you were all cramped up in the backseat of his car, windows all fogged up, and the heavy downpour of the rain hitting against the roof, your mind was set into a blank space. looking up at him with nothing but lust and admiration for your boyfriend.

his hands caressed your cheeks, staring down at your lips before he lazily takes them into his, passionately. he put every ‘i love you’ into it. a kiss, laced with the drug of love. and he was addicted. every stroke he entered you with was gentle and it left you with a bubbly feeling in your stomach, between your legs— it felt as though your whole body’s been set ablaze.

he was so good to you, his hand rubbed against your thigh relaxing your high. there was a continuation of thrusting his all into you slowly, watching how your juices cakes up around the thickness of his shaft. how glossy he looked everytime he pulled out. he had you and yet he still craved for you. what a hassle you were.

“prettiest girl in the world. just for me.” he whispers against your skin, resting himself into the crook of your shoulder, his teeth softly nibbling at your flesh.

“all yours baby,” your neck, your back, both parts of you arching at the feel of his rotating hips. how he stuffed your tight dewy cunt with his cock and twisted in you like a perfect match. your moaning was all he needed to tell him how you felt, and he felt the same.

the sound of him made you a dripping mess, the sounds he’d make all for you, the vibration of his voice lingering on your soft, trembling skin.

“i love you more than anything, you know..?” “do anything to be with you..” he groaned, eyes fixated on yours. his strokes were so agonizingly slow, but when he slams his cock deeper in you by surprise, you couldn’t help but whimper and cry out a bit.

his breath hitched at the feel of you clenching around him, making him hiss from the tight fit. even though he’s going slower than usual he already feels him at his breaking point.

“i think it’s painfully honest.” you giggled, exhaling at the build of your climax. you were so close, and heeseung could feel it, almost nearing the edge.

“good then. it’s how it should be.” his voice was raspy, solely focused on one thing. and that was for you to make a mess all over his cock. “shit- you’re squeezing me.”

“great then. that’s how it should be.” you repeat back to him, caressing his lower back. finding the end of his shirt to keep your composure. a light chuckle escaping your lover’s pretty lips.

“gonna come for you..”

“hm ? show me. show me who you’re coming for princess.” he picked up the pace, hooking your thighs between his arms. your whole body shuddered underneath him, spasming around his cock as you felt your orgasm approaching. he’d follow shortly after, emptying every last drop of his release inside you.

“god.. i love you.. i love you..” you were in a daze, utterly fucked out and left with nothing to say other than those three words. you truly do love him, more than anything else in this cruel, unfair world.

“i love you too mama.” he doesn’t hesitate to say it back, spreading kisses along your jawline, down to your collarbone, leaving a trail of faint hickies to mark his territory, claiming you as his.

...

no, there’s not a word that can describe your relationship with heeseung. not a word, nor a book. he was walking perfection. and you fit into him like a puzzle piece.

but you knew only of one word that could leave you at ease. you know what he was to you.

an escape.

*ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*

[cakelitter]

Apple Of My Eye

Older! Leon x Fem! Reader (oneshot)

warnings: angst, fingering, oral (f recieve), p in v, daddy kink, makeup sex

summary: Leon and reader get into their first argument, but Leon apologizes in his own way.

words: 3.1k

a/n: i'm writing so much older Leon fics but this man lives in my head rent fucking free omg

Everything is going to shit.

Words were said, things were done, that all cut through you like a knife. This is your first actual argument, not just a simple misunderstanding or a silly disagreement. But a full-on fight.

To rewind, you and Leon were supposed to have a nice dinner date, romantic and sweet. Something the two of you haven’t had the chance to do since he’s busy all the time. You got ready, all dolled up and looking the best you’ve ever looked. You wore his favorite dress, painted your nails his favorite color, put on the kind of make up he likes. You wanted this to be special, a night to remember.

But he forgot, leaving you sitting at that table in the restaurant for an hour and 37 minutes to be exact, like an idiot. No text explaining why he was late, and wouldn’t pick up his phone either. By the time he arrived you had already downed most of the bottle of wine the two of you were supposed to share, and was feeling full from the sympathetic stares the waiter and other guests were giving you.

Worst part, he didn’t even apologize. No “Sorry baby, I had something come up at work” no nothing, just sat down, looking at you like what he did was normal. You decided to suck it up and continue on with the night. Trying to be the bigger person even though he’s twice your age and your size. Sure, you still had a bit of an attitude, some short answers, and not clawing to get closer to him like usual, but you have the right to.

Apparently not, cause he decides to get all pissy with you. Giving you glares from across the table, and in general being petty. It was clear to you, and to everyone around, that your nights wasn’t going great. You both end up leaving the restaurant after 30 minutes of his arrival, neither of you finishing the meals you ordered.

The car ride back to you shared apartment was quiet, but the tension was no joke. Instead of the normal sexual tension you both experience after these usual dates, or even just being around each other in general. There was the tension that made your heart sink and your throat tight. His eyes fixated on the road, both hands on the wheel gripping it firmly till his knuckles turned white, instead of having one in between your thighs like usual. You can’t tell who’s ignoring who, or who is more pissed at the other person more. Your mouth didn’t utter a peep, when shaky breaths and pleading words should be escaping it at this point. You hoped that once you get home, the two of you would have cooled down a bit and would talk it out like you always do.

Yet again you were wrong. As soon as you arrived back home, he slams the door behind the two of you. And starts to speak through gritted teeth.

“What he fuck was that whole fuss about?”

Turning around, you don’t know if you’re more shocked at the tone he is addressing you with or the fact that he genuinely doesn’t see what he did wrong.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that you left me there for almost two hours without explaining even why?!”

He scoffs, fucking scoffs. “What, am I supposed to give you reports on everything I do now? What I’m doing and who I’m with?”

“Leon, you can not be serious right now. All I wanted was for you to simply give me a heads up telling me that you were gonna be late.”

“Well, I was clearly busy. I’m sorry that I have a real job and responsibilities that I have to deal with.” Why is he acting like you don’t know that? like this is new information to you? In the past 2 years of your relationship, you have understood how demanding Leon’s job is, and have always been patient.

Going on missions for days and not being able to contact you. You get it, he should focus on his mission and getting home safe. Canceling plans with you last minute cause he was needed at his work. That’s fine, he can’t control it anyways.

But he always made it up for you. Taking the next day off to spend time with you, consoling you, spoiling you with gifts if he couldn’t be there physically with you. He has never gotten angry at you or talked to you in this tone before. He has never refused to apologize, and always tried to reach a solution. But now he is choosing to argue with you.

“You know how much I respect your job and how patient I am when it comes to this topic. But I can’t always brush off the feeling of neglect sometimes.”

“Well maybe you need to stop being so fucking needy.”

Ouch.

He always had loved it when you were needy though, loving the way you’d sit on his lap and shower him with kisses as he worked, loving how you needed to be close to him on the couch while watching a movie, loving the pout you do when he leaves for another mission.

You compose yourself, and start thinking of why he’s acting this way. Is he having a bad day? Did he get bad news before he came to see you?... Is he done dealing with you?

The last possibility makes your heart drop as you try to shoo that evil thought away, but it sticks like cigarette smoke on clothes.

“Are you having a bad day? Is there something bothering you?” your voice is gentle and understanding, trying to deescalate the situation. But he replies with the same harsh tone.

“Yeah, I’m tired of constantly dealing with your bullshit.”

…

He sighs, running his fingers through his hair and looking away from your face. You stand there, not knowing what to do. Feeling so stupid, just staring at him, praying he tells you that he didn’t mean that, that this was all a mistake. To pull you in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear like he always does when you’re upset.

He was always so gentle with you, from his actions to his words. Scared to be too rough with you while play fighting as if you’re going to break. He constantly reminded you of how much you meant to him, how much he missed you on missions, and how much he couldn’t wait to be with you again. His sacred treasure, the apple of his eye, the love of his life.

But now, it all came crashing down with the venomous words he’s saying. Dropping your glass welded heart from what feels like a 13-story building, then proceeding to run over whatever survived. The burning sensation in your throat is starting to get hard to ignore, you try fight it off but to no use.

“What, are you gonna cry now like you always do?”

And that’s all it takes for tears that have been brimming in your eyes to finally break free dropping down to your cheek as your lip quivers. Yes, you are crying like you always do. Feeling so humiliated, tears blur your vision as you turn around and walk to your room shutting the door behind you.

You’re so upset. Sadness mixing with anger creating a disastrous cocktail causing your throat to burn like hell. And to make things worse, you can’t even go to the person that knows how to comfort you best, cause they are the reason why you feel like this in the same place.

Laying down on your side of the bed, tears are practically soaking your pillow. You’ve been crying for what feels like hours now and you’re sure your eyes are going to be swollen as fuck the next day. Multiple sobs, tears, and sniffles later, you fall asleep. Pass out is a better word for it actually. Only to be awaken by a knock on the bedroom door. You ignore it, and close your eyes again.

“Baby, please, let’s talk.”

You ignore again, hoping he takes the hint and leaves you alone. But he doesn’t. He opens the door slowly and looks over to your huddled figure laying on the bed. You’re clearly cold, legs tucked close to your chest, and your face nuzzled into your pillow as much as possible. He sighs, walking over to the bed, and lays down next to you with you back facing him. He stares at you for a bit, knowing that you’re not asleep, he knows your breathing a little too well. He scooches over placing an arm around you, and places a gentle kiss on top of your head.

“I’m sorry baby, I was being an asshole.” He whispers, planting another kiss.

You don’t reply, but you do open your eyes. Noticing that, he continues.

“I was just stressed from all the bullshit going on at work and… took it out on you. It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have done that.”

…

“Those hurtful things, I don’t mean them. God, I don’t mean a single word I said.”

That last sentence was all it took for you to start crying again. But this time, those arms are around to pull you in. He turns you around and places you against his chest as you let it out. An arm is behind your back rubbing up and down soothingly, while the other helps getting your hair out of your face.

“Shhh it’s okay.”

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

Are words he repeats in a tone juxtaposing the one he was using a couple of hours ago. This is the Leon you’re used to. Calm, and feels like home. The warmth of his body helps warm you up and the arm rubbing your back, helps ease your breathing back to normal. After a few minutes you calm down, and look up at him. He smiles kissing your forehead.

“Was Daddy mean to you earlier?” he asks and you nod.

“Want him to kiss it better?” you nod again.

He smiles softly and starts tenderly kissing your lips, your forehead, cheeks, and jaw.  Each kiss was full of affection and pure sincerity. You started sensing that warm feeling in your chest, heart beat regulating, and lips curling up into a smile as he kissed every single inch on your face. You’re not sure you quiet understand the science behind this technique and how he can manage to lift up your mood with a few kisses and his heart-warming voice. But it somehow always works.

However, can’t tell if it was the sudden change in your mood or his hot breath and soft lips on your face, but the wholesome warm feeling in your heart switched at one point, to heat pooling between your thighs. And soon enough you started being needy again.

“Daddy. Want more.” You muttered, making him stop momentarily to respond.

“Want what baby, you need to tell daddy what to do so he can help you.”

You start feeing a little shy to word it out for him. Normally he would keep you being a needy squirmy mess till you say it yourself. But he was already mean to you today, so it’s only fair to help his girl out.

“Want Daddy to kiss you somewhere else?”

“Mhm”

“Where?”

“My pussy.”

How could he say no to that face. Lips puffy, eyes glossy, and lashes wet from your tears. Humming in agreement, he places one final kiss on your lips and moves down between your thighs, spreading them open for him. You were still wearing your dress, so he was immediately greeted with the lace panties you wore for him. Running his finger up your cunt, he can already feel the dampness through the thin fabric.

“Damn baby, you wore all of this for me? God, I don’t deserve you.”

He says planting an opened mouth kiss on your clothed clit making you whine. Bunching up your dress, he grabs the hem of your panties sliding them down and shoving them in his pocket. He runs his tongue up your slit, and it feels warm as he tastes you. Spreading your cunt open with his fingers, his mouth starts sucking on your clit as shaky heavy breaths escape your mouth.

His blue eyes meet yours as he continues guzzle your pussy up while occasionally fucking his tongue into you. He laps up every single fluid that comes out, appreciating every drop. Eventually, he rewards you with one of his fingers penetrating inside of you and fucking into you at a slow pace as he pulls the hood of your clit back and continues sucking on your bundle of nerves.

Moments later he removes his mouth off of you, wanting to watch your expression as he sticks another finger into you. Your mouth opens slightly as a broken sound leaves your throat. His fingers were thick, much thicker than yours. The rough skin on them making your back arch at the sensation.

“So fucking pretty.”

You can’t tell if he’s addressing you or your dripping pussy as your eyes flutter shut when his palm makes contact with your cunt. He starts moving his digits in and out of you, mouth finding it’s way back to your clit once more. Your hips start squirming in place as he uses his other hand to hold you down in place. His digits then begin scissoring you open while his tongue flicks your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Amidst the intense feeling of pleasure, you grab his hair pulling his face towards your dripping cunt even more. Grabbing Daddy’s hair and not being gentle with it is against some of the rules the two of you have established. Leon is going above and beyond to make sure he doesn’t go bald, avoiding it like it’s the plague. Hence, pulling it, is something he would normally spank you for, fuck you roughly while pulling yours to make sure you always remember. But he’ll let it pass this time.

You start babbling, the pleasure fogging up your field of vision, and the ability to form a coherent sentence, but he knows your having a good time.

“Daddy, can I please cum?”

“Do whatever you wanna do sweetheart.” As soon as you get his permission, you reach your peak with a squeal, letting go of his hair and clutch instead on the white sheets beneath you. His fingers continue moving, easing your way back down from your high. And he eventually removes his fingers out of you, placing a final kiss on your clit before looking up at your blissed out expression.

He gets up, ready to run you a nice bath to relax, but you refuse.

“Want you.”

You say looking up at him. He smiles and replies.

“I don’t know baby. Don’t think it’s fair that you get punished for not behaving and I don’t.” You whine, a pout forming on your lips. Even though you just came, you fear that you’ll never satisfied till he’s deep inside you.

 You tug on his shirt, eyes pleading, batting your lashes at him the way you do, decreasing is chances of saying no to zero.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Plus, that boner of yours looks pretty painful.” You retort, pointing at the way his dick is begging to be released out of his jeans.

“You sure?” You eagerly nod, and before you know it, your hands are already undoing his belt. He helps you out, taking his pants and shirt off while you strip out of your dress as well.

“How do you want me?” he asks as the two of you sit naked on the bed.

You put your finger on your chin, squinting your eyes as you think.

“On your back.”

He complies, resting his head against the pillow as you crawl over you him, placing a gentle peck on his mouth. Your legs straddle him, grabbing his dick and rubbing it up and down your leaky slit. He grits his teeth, eyes fixated at your motion before you start nudging it as your entrance.

You drop down on his length, making the two of you moan in unison as you bottom out on his dick, his hands involuntarily reaching over to grab the fat on the side of your hips. You don’t take too long to adjust thanks to his fingers warming you up earlier, and soon enough you start bouncing.

Placing a hand on his chest to balance yourself as you increase the pace while occasionally grinding your hips on his skin to get more friction on your clit. One of his hands leave your hips, making its way to your lips as you take two of his fingers into your mouth. He groans at the view in front of him.

“Fuckkk, such a good fucking girl.”

Moments later however, you start getting tired. Poor thing, doing all the work by yourself. You were always destined for princess treatment anyways.

“Getting tired?” he asks through heavy breaths, and you mindlessly nod.

Grabbing your hips once more, he plants his feet on the bed and grabs you pulling your body closer as he starts drilling into you. Your head falls back, all of that sadness you experienced before disappearing with each thrust of his hips. His dick feels amazing inside of you, hitting all of the sweet spots with each move.

The familiar sense of release starts approaching. The sound of skin slapping fills the room as you start chanting “daddy” over and over. You don’t even need anything from him, but he’s all your mind can think about.

“I’m right here, cum for me.” And you do. Your body convulses as sweet release takes over you. Leon moans from how tight your walls are gipping him. Dick throbbing inside of you as he fucks you through your release and starts chasing his. Picking up the pace even more, he feels himself getting closer and closer to his own climax.

“Where do you want it baby?” he asks through greeted teeth. You mind is complete mush at this point, completely and utterly cock drunk. “Inside please.”  Look at you, still using words like please and thank you even in this state.

He was hoping you would say that, he doubts he’ll make it in time to pull out anyways. Leon’s releases washes over his as he spurts his cum all over your walls, while crashing his lips into yours. You kiss him back, moaning as you feel so full and warm from the inside. His hips slow down and eventually reach a stop, and both of your bodies relax. Lips separating, you stare into each other’s eyes for a bit, one of his hands runs through your hair delicately, before cupping your cheek. You tilt your head, resting its weight on his palm as he strokes your face with his thumb.

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

banner by @/anitalenia

[openconceptpanicroom]

MBTI Matchmaker:

Gojo Satoru x INFJ!Reader

Summary: Random MBTI pairings with characters. First one is INFJ with Gojo Satoru (ENTP). This series will look at how each match would start out. Also what romantic trope each match reminds me of. Feel free to request any type with any character!

CW: Suggestive language, angst/depressed Gojo, fluff, no NSFW here because these are general romance imagine… but I can make a separate post if requested!

-INFJ-

I know, I know, it’s such a stereotype that ENTPs and INFJs are meant for each other. It’s not always true… but it is for you and him.

The romance trope you make me think of is: “Right person, Wrong time,” and “Soulmates.”

You might just be one of the first people to see through him. And at first, it’s just annoying to him. He actually goes out of his way to avoid you for a good, long time. Chances are, you two went to school together and barely said two words the whole time. He carried on just as he was, meanwhile, you lived in his head rent-free after making a casual observation about him seeming tired back when you were first-years.

You have a sort of calm that draws him in. Gojo wants to be around you, but he just can’t get himself to do it. Something about the pull you have makes him feel bound. He doesn’t like it. Gojo can’t play the jester without you seeing that he’s just trying to keep people around him. You see him, fully. It isn’t something he ever gets used to. On your end, it freaks you out how he doesn’t just use you as a free therapist. When Gojo would talk to you he would ask you/accuse you of things like: “Do you ever think about yourself?” or “Do you not like to have fun? Or is it that you don’t know how to enjoy it?” It bugs you that he sees you with just as much clarity.

To most, you two either look like enemies or just don’t know each other. Nobody knows how Gojo watched you as you leave. Nobody knows how you leave small treats on Gojo’s desk to make sure he’s eating.

It won’t be until he’s a grown man that he would even attempt to get to know you. Taking on the position of teacher at your former school brought you all the things you wanted. Stability, the ability to help others, and enough pay to afford an apartment near a botanical garden. You had no idea that someone like Gojo Satoru would be there too. He seemed to share in the surprise.

Once he starts hanging around you, he can’t stop. The world is so quiet when he’s around you. Like waking up early in the morning after a blizzard. Stillness, warm but never hot, peace. Gojo likes to have solitary chats with you. Which is easy, because you’re either alone or working with your students. A part of him doesn’t want other people to see how he is with you, all soft and quiet. Another part of him just doesn’t want to share you.

Gojo was often surprised by your sense of humor. He had always joked that you were “just as depraved,” as him but everyone would tell him he was crazy. You were pure, an innocent, the “mom friend.” Once he started hanging around you he found he was completely right. It was nice to be around someone that didn’t think you were a saintly, sexless being above all sin. You liked his chaos. His spontaneity. He felt so much more alive than you. Being with him brought so much color to your world.

Your loose friendship dives into romance suddenly. It wasn’t the first time Gojo had turned up unannounced at your apartment. He just did that sometimes. Every now and again you would come home to find him sitting on your couch or digging through your fridge. The day things changed between you was different.

It was late at night. You had just changed into your pajamas when he welcomed himself into your apartment. As annoyed as you were that he showed up at that ungodly hour, his expression kept your complaints inside. You have no idea what happened that day but he looked so exhausted. Gojo had taken off his blindfold and you could see in his eyes that he just needed something. He didn’t give you the chance to ask.

His body crashed into yours, nearly throwing you backwards. Gojo’s arms came around you and his face was buried in the crook of your neck. He breathed in deeply, then said, “Can I sleep here?”

Your hands were on his back, your heart was pounding. After processing his request you started to tell him that you could set up the couch for him. He shook his head, lips grazing your neck “No, can I sleep here?”

“Gojo— I don’t understand…”

His fingers went up the back of your shirt, his palms felt cold. You tried to steady your breathing as he pressed his body closer. Gojo’s voice was almost husky as he exhaled, sighing against the growing blush that crept up your neck. “I don’t want to sleep on the couch. Or in my own bed. I want to sleep here, with my arms around you. With your hands on my back and in my hair. I want to take up all your space, not just tonight. But every night, every day. Will you give me that?”

“I… y-yes. I can give you that.”

Before you knew it, you were in bed. No direct confession of love or discussion of “what you were.” Just his lips on yours and his hands going wherever you would allow. He slept soundly, his arms still around you. When morning came you spent the whole day together. Nothing felt different, but you were both doing all the things you had been restraining yourselves from doing.

Thus began your relationship. It moved swiftly after that night. He came over more and more. Started to show off his affections for you more publicly too, much to your chagrin.

[boy-comics]

RENT-FREE

── .✦ pairing; ♭form!o.de x gn!reader

── .✦ summary; chance leads you to oh seungmin. something else leads to you stay.

── .✦ word count; ~4.7k

── .✦ tags; swearing, mentioned family issues, discussions of death, fluff, hurt/comfort, romantic tension, roommates to friends to lovers(??), seungmom™, takes place in the "real" world

── .✦ a/n; ahahaha (lying in a ditch)

After graduating, getting a job, moving out, and doing all the other things one needs to do to be considered a real adult, you realize something: pride, that bright, delicate thing that you've clung to all these years, means very, very little.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"It's just until I find another apartment. I won't even argue with him anymore, Mama—"

"Honey, I'm sorry, but you should know why I can't trust you to do that."

You stare at your phone screen, the call time climbing up ever slowly. Your mother continues talking, her voice tinny through the speaker, trying to soothe your irritation without giving in, but you can feel your thoughts growing pricklier and pricklier with each reasoning.

Just kick him out for a little while, you want to yell at her, don't you care about your own kid having a roof over their head? Why choose that deadbeat over me?

"So what am I supposed to do, then, Mama? My roommate's gone and I can't pay rent all on my own. I don't know what to do."

"I don't know either. I'll ask around and see if anyone can help you out. But this is adulthood, honey; things like this happen, and you just need to figure out what to do."

If you could afford it, you'd throw your phone against the wall.

"… I know. Thanks, Mama. Talk to you later."

"Make sure to eat, honey."

Pressing the end call button, you drop your phone on your bed and scream into your pillow.

—

What you end up doing, all by yourself, is break your lease early and shoulder the penalty fees. Then you pack up what little belongings you have and camp out at an old classmate's place (just until your next paycheck at the most, you had promised), and work and search for apartments and search for roommates and sleep and eat and work again.

Your mother calls just as you're looking up motel prices. You don't want to pick up, but again, pride means very, very little.

"Hi, Mama."

"Hi. Are you still looking for a place?"

"Yep."

"Okay, good. I was talking to Oh Seungmin's mother. You remember him, don't you? You went to the same high school. He was on the basketball team."

Your brow furrows. "Oh Seungmin?"

"So you do remember him."

"… Yes."

You're sure he doesn't remember you, though. Oh Seungmin had always belonged to a different crowd than yours, a really different crowd, even if you did walk to and from the same neighborhood together for a brief time. If your mother is suggesting what you think she's suggesting, you must be thinking wrong, somehow.

"He lives somewhere near where you work. His mother talked to him, and he's willing to let you stay with him until you find something more permanent."

You blink.

"Honey? What do you think?"

"I—uh." Your cursor continues to hover over the room price typed in bold on your laptop, and as you absorb what has just been offered, it drifts down to the corner of the screen. "How much would I need to pay?"

"Ah. I forgot to ask. She gave me his number to give to you just in case, though, so just ask him. It's—"

You type down the number and save it, praying to whatever lives upstairs that this isn't the beginning of some awful cosmic joke.

—

You move into Oh Seungmin's place on a late Sunday morning in May.

"Do you need help unpacking?"

"No, it's okay." You gesture vaguely at your suitcase, backpack, and laundry basket of bed things. "This is it."

Seungmin nods, his eyes flitting between the three things containing your entire life. There is a smile on his face, small and polite but awkward, like he's entertaining a surprise guest despite having expected you for the past three days. "Oh, okay. Cool."

You smile back, just as awkward. This Seungmin is slightly different from what you remember. High school Seungmin was more outgoing, a star athlete and the dream of every girl in your class. In this small apartment in the shadier part of the city, he seems more subdued, a little lonelier around the edges. Or maybe that's only because it's you.

He is still absurdly good-looking, though.

"I didn't know if you were okay with the couch or a futon mattress, so both are out. I have extra pillows if you need them … you don't have a closet, so we could buy a foldable one or something and put it in the corner if you want."

"I'm okay with the futon mattress. And it's fine—I'll just keep things in my suitcase. I won’t be in your hair for long, anyway."

"All right." His fingers tap an oddly controlled rhythm along the side of his thigh—not that you were already looking, you just catch the movement at the edge of your vision—and then he clears his throat. "Well, I'll let you get your stuff unpacked. I made some curry rice so we can eat afterwards. Hopefully you'll like it. I think you told me it was your favorite, once, a long time ago."

Some of the ice on your tongue melts.

"It still is."

His smile cracks open a bit wider, a bit more genuinely. "Really? Nice. I'll get everything set up, then."

"I'll be quick."

The living room and the kitchen are squeezed together with no divider, so you are graced with the ambiance of clinking ceramic bowls and silverware while you set your things out to organize them. The faint smell of curry and rice that you had detected when you had first stepped foot into this home intensifies with the sound of the microwave running.

Eating lunch with Oh Seungmin is a simple affair that grows more comfortable with time. You go over the house rules and contributions again, and it's funny, you find, the way the two of you agree on things so easily despite not having talked in years. Then again, it is only the first day.

"There is one thing, though," Seungmin says, taking your plate along with his to rinse them in the sink. "I have a synthesizer and record a lot of music for work. I'll keep my door closed, but if you're here and it bothers you, just tell me. I'll use headphones."

"Oh," you say, surprised. You don't remember Seungmin having a strong interest in music. A synthesizer. That's interesting. "Okay, I'll let you know." A thought hits you and you ask conversationally, "Do you use ♭form at all?"

You don't have an account yourself, having put it off time and time again. Conversation, that's all you had intended. But as soon as you mention ♭form, it's like the shutters close, and Seungmin's tone shifts from open and friendly into something strange and even guarded.

"Sometimes. Just the audience and solo modes, though."

He changes the subject after that. Of course, you still can't help but wonder for the rest of the day, especially when he disappears into his room for the rest of the afternoon, strange and beautiful music trickling out from underneath the door.

—

Seungmin tells you that it's been a while since he's had people stay over, but despite his modesty, you find him to be a wonderful roommate.

"Are you done using the glass cleaner?"

"Yeah, it's in here."

Heading to the bathroom, you spot Seungmin dutifully spraying the shower with cleaner and hold your breath, grabbing the glass cleaner from its place on the floor and stepping back out quickly.

"Did you find it?"

"Yeah, it was right there," you say.

He turns around to check, and you can't help but grin. Standing like that in the bathroom, he almost looks like a harried mom, old baggy shirt tucked into equally worn sweatpants, hair messy, a mask covering the lower half of his face and large yellow gloves covering his hands. When he raises his eyebrows, you snort.

"What?"

"You look like a mom."

"Finish your chores," he says sternly, even waggling his head, and you laugh again before leaving to wipe the windows.

Cleaning day is surprisingly mellow in your temporary home. Seungmin has the bathroom and his bedroom while you take the kitchen and living room, and you're both quite efficient. The initial awkwardness at the beginning has eased significantly over the past week, and if you were feeling optimistic, you'd say that the two of you are friendlier now than you were as students—even if he does spend a lot of time in his room.

"Hey, you wanna do something after this?" Seungmin calls out. You hear the shower turn on, followed by the sound of water splashing over the walls.

"Like what?"

"We could shoot some hoops."

"Ha-ha, that's funny."

"Well, now we have to go shoot some hoops." You make a face, and even though he can't see it, Seungmin tacks on, "I'll buy you garlic cheese bread after."

"How many?"

"One plus one more for each basket you make."

Well. That's an offer you can't refuse. "Deal."

"Okay. After I clean the toilet, I'm gonna shower and then we can head out."

You finish vacuuming and mopping the floors by the time he comes out of the bathroom, hair toweled to a curly dampness and no longer smelling like bleach. He looks like a young, fashionable man again, and you think that it might have been a little easier to talk to him when he was masked up and rubber-gloved.

"Ready?"

"I'll still get one free garlic cheese bread even if I miss all the shots, right?"

"Yes, but you can't be that bad at basketball."

"Try me."

There's a basketball court about ten minutes away from the apartment complex that Seungmin frequents. There's another one that's closer, newer, but upon passing by and asking about it, you're told that he avoids that court because it's too popular.

"Isn't it better to play with a group of people?" you question.

He shrugs, head turning away from you. "I just like to do my own thing when I'm here."

(It strikes you as a bit odd, but you keep that thought to yourself.)

"We're here." Seungmin dribbles the ball for a few seconds, then passes it to you. "You remember some stuff from gym class, don't you?"

"I mean, yeah, but that doesn't mean I can do it," you retort, passing the ball back. "Why don't you give an example and I copy it?"

Your companion turns and promptly shoots the basketball towards the hoop. It cuts a majestic arc through the air before falling through the hoop with a devastatingly clean swoosh.

You stare as he jogs down to fetch the ball, returning with a self-satisfied grin. "Okay, well, don't expect that kind of technique from me. I'm fine with my one bread."

"No, I'm going to make sure you get at least two. Here." Seungmin comes closer, plopping the basketball into your outstretched palms. "Just dribble it a little and pass it back and forth so you can get the feel for it."

You slowly bounce the ball on the concrete. It's haphazard, coming back up at different angles with no discernible rhythm, but you can actually keep it up for more than ten seconds. Clapping his hands, Seungmin shouts encouragement and gestures for you to pass it to him.

"What were you talking about? You're fine at this." The ball travels between the two of you several times before he points to the hoop. "Try to shoot."

Emboldened, you cradle the basketball in your dominant hand and stare up at the hoop. Aiming at the backboard, you launch it with a quiet grunt.

The ball hits the rim and shoots off to the side.

"... That's okay, that's okay! Try again."

You feel like the kid winning a pity prize at school. It really shouldn't be a big deal, with you being a whole-ass adult and all, but you can't prevent the frustration that roils up anyway as Seungmin tosses the ball back to you.

"I'm just going to miss."

"You won't know unless you try, right?"

When you roll your eyes at his sage-like wisdom, he sighs, circling around to stand behind you.

His arms come around to adjust yours into the right position, and you nearly choke on your own spit.

"Keep your shooting arm close." He taps the inside of your foot with the toe of his shoe. "Feet shoulder width apart, knees bent, 'cause the power comes from your legs. Your other hand is just there to guide. And follow through."

His voice is soft against your ear. You swallow dryly, only daring to breathe again when he steps away.

Oh, no.

"That easy, huh?" you croak, bending your knees.

"If you want it to be."

You shoot the ball. It soars upward—downward—hits the backboard, rolls along the orange rim and falls through the net.

You and Seungmin stare for a moment. Then Seungmin nudges you with his elbow and holds out his fist.

"Yo, yo, yo! Good job, [Y/n]-ssi!"

Your eyes roll again as you bump fists with him, but it's bashful this time, and you hate how exposed it makes you feel. "You're a literal mom and dad rolled into one."

"Does that make you my offspring?"

"Sure would beat being the offspring of my actual parents." You wince as soon as the joke leaves your mouth.

"Oh."

Seungmin blinks, and laughs a bit, but it's so obviously unsure that everything that's been going so right today veers into complete fuckup territory.

You dig your hands into your pockets and scuff your shoes. "... Sorry. Shitty joke."

"Ah, it's fine ..."

And yet, neither of you say anything more.

Shit.

While you rub your arms, hobbling towards the basketball rolling steadily towards the grass, you hear Seungmin follow. The scrape of his shoes against the asphalt peters out as you pick up the ball, and when you turn around, he's regarding you carefully. You find an interest in the words stamped onto the basketball.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

"Not really." You spin the ball in your hands. "I mean, it's not like you never knew, and nothing's really changed, and that's why I'm here in the first place. So."

Seungmin nods slightly and hums, scratching his nose.

"I didn't mean to kill the mood."

"No," he says immediately, "don't worry about anything like that. You're good company."

You look at Seungmin. He stares back, and for a brief moment, you remember a boy with the same dark eyes, under a similar sky, sitting with you at the corner of a convenience store after school because you didn't want to go home.

"Oh. Okay."

"You wanna try for a third garlic cheese bread?"

"Nah, you kinda killed the vibe with all that mushy gushy stuff."

Seungmin hisses through his teeth when you punch his shoulder. "Damn."

"Only joking. Can we go now, though? I'm hungry."

"Yeah, sure."

—

In the brief interludes where neither of you have anywhere to be, you and Seungmin inevitably gravitate towards one another. That's what happens when people get along, you guess, though it's been so long that it surprises you when Seungmin actually joins you on the couch with a tub of popcorn.

"That for me?"

"That for us," he corrects as you press play on the laptop and settle back into the cushions. "Is the volume high enough?"

"Oh." You lean forward again. "Now it is."

Seungmin had been neutral at best towards pirating a horror movie from five years ago—he could take them or leave them, depending on the quality—but you had cited its several awards and didn't want to watch it alone, so here he was, ready to pass judgment on your choice.

"Don't scream too loudly," he gibes as the music drops to a low simmer, "or the neighbors will complain."

You scoff, grabbing a handful of popcorn. "I'm right here if you need a shoulder to cry on, Seungmin-ssi."

Thirty minutes into the movie, both of you swallow your words.

You'd taken it as a sign of good taste that multiple reviews had credited Come Into My Head as providing nightmare fuel for weeks, but now you realize that good taste may not be in your best interest. Not when you're shaking like a leaf next to your roommate, who is sitting stiffly, nearly stone-like.

When the killer jumps out, both of you let out a shriek that triggers angry thumping from above.

"Shitshitshit." Another jump scare slashes across the screen, and you leap out of your skin when Seungmin's hand clamps down on your arm. "SHIT."

"Y-You're making my arm numb," you whisper, but you make no move to pry him off, eyes glued to the screen.

"Sorry—"

When the lead actor screams, you can't take it anymore and suffocate Seungmin's arm between your own, smashing your face into his shoulder with a pathetic whimper.

... Unfortunately, said shoulder ends up being so warm and muscular that you sober up from your fear-drunkeness long enough to be overcome with embarrassment.

"Uh." Your action seems to have the same effect on Seungmin, whose grip immediately loosens.

"I'm sorry," you blather, starting to pull away. "I swear I'm not trying to—"

"It's fine," Seungmin interrupts. "I, uh, don't mind if you don't. I'm kind of terrified right now?"

"Me too."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

The corners of his lips quirk upward. If it weren't for the gory, red lighting of the movie illuminating his face, and if you weren't so sure of his opinion on you, you would think that Oh Seungmin was blushing.

Yeah. You lean back until you're pressed against Seungmin once more, arms wrapped around his and shoulder pressing shoulder. His right hand reaches around to squeeze yours with every on-screen death and you can feel each joint of each finger over your own. I'm terrified.

—

It takes two whole weeks before shit hits the fan.

It had been an unexpectedly warm day, so you had decided to impulse buy some ice cream bars on the way back from work. Seungmin would appreciate it, being cooped up in the apartment with his synthesizer. You haven't been able to catch him outside his room for the past day. Maybe you could hang out and talk in the kitchen while you polished off one or two ice cream bars.

Sticking the box of chocolate-coated vanilla in the freezer, you quietly walk over to Seungmin's bedroom and examine the doorknob. There's no Do Not Disturb sign hanging from it, and it's not locked, which you take as the go-ahead to knock.

"Seungmin-ssi, I got ice cream."

You wait. No reply.

Frowning, you press your ear against the door, wondering if he's working on some music, but you don't hear anything. Of course, he could be using headphones for some reason.

"Hello?" You knock and then call for him once more, making sure to be loud. "Hey, I'm coming in."

With that, you enter his room.

Nothing seems out of place. That is, until you see Seungmin hunched over on the edge of his bed, hands trembling and forehead drenched with sweat.

"Seungmin!"

Stumbling over your feet to rush over, you grab ahold of his shoulders and shake him. Seungmin jolts and shivers, then looks up with wide, glazed eyes, and it frightens you so badly you reach up to grab his face. It feels cold.

"Hey. Hey! What happened?!"

He stares up at you, completely vacant, and then he finally blinks. It seems to trigger something because he starts gasping for breath, clutching your wrists as he registers your presence.

"What happened?" you repeat, voice cracking from the volume.

He winces. "I dunno," he rasps, wetting his lips. "I think we ... I think we broke the system?"

The use of we raises a flag in your mind, but considering the present circumstances, you put that aside for now. For all you know, his brain could be fried like an egg and churning out nonsense. "Broke what system?"

He looks down.

You follow his gaze. There is a pair of strange glasses on the floor by his feet. Hesitantly, as if you might get burned, you pick them up.

Upon inspection, you notice '♭form' faintly etched into the frames. There's a button on top of the left hinge, but nothing happens when you press it. Frowning, you press it again, only to curse when something neon red fizzles briefly across the lenses. Then it’s dead once more.

"Oh," you murmur dumbly. You look at him again.

Seungmin's lips press together, eyes still fixed on the glasses, and he swallows. His gaze then moves to you and the emptiness of it slowly ebbs away.

He is silent, despondent, and he takes a moment before he tells you something so sincerely it stuns you.

"That was the only place where I mattered."

And, truthfully, it feels like he's slapped you across the face.

You gape at him, throat suddenly tight, and when he continues to sit without another word, you shut your mouth so violently your jaw tingles.

The strange behavior makes sense now. The brief periods of dullness after leaving his room, the rare but suspicious checking out from conversations, the obsession with music. You had overlooked these things because the moments between them had been some of the best you’ve ever had. They had mattered to you.

Apparently, he had never felt the same way.

"You don't think you matter here?" you say, numb. Your grip tightens around the glasses. "What was the fucking point of all this, then?"

His brow furrows. "… What do you mean?"

It feels like prying open the shell of a living creature, exposing everything that's meant to be kept safely hidden away. You do not know why the living creature is you and not Seungmin. You don't know why Seungmin makes it so damn easy to spill your guts, revealing the self-centered and bitter parts of you that drive everyone else away.

"Do I not matter either?" you ask.

The sound of your own voice, angry and trembling, immediately disgusts you. You bite your tongue and turn away.

"What? Hey, that's not—"

"Nevermind. Forget it."

As you head straight for the door, you have this grand idea in your head that you're going to storm out of the apartment, spend a few hours blowing off some steam, and then return to pack up your stuff and stop adding to Seungmin's misery. But that would require you to be faster than Seungmin, and for his apartment to be large enough to create enough distance between you and him.

Reality unfolds as such: you getting one foot across the doorway, Seungmin grabbing your wrist, and you stopping far too quickly.

"That's not what I meant at all. I'm sorry, I'm just—just let me explain."

"I'm a little too pissed off to listen nicely, Seungmin-ssi."

"That's fine. As long as you believe me." When you look back at him, he squeezes your wrist. "Please stay."

He's pleading. His hand is clammy. And because your pride means so little, and because you have become so horribly attached—you stay.

You let him lead you back into his room to sit on his bed. You stay, and you listen as he starts from the very beginning.

By the time he's done, having explained the train, the fighting, the surreal time loop his band had just broken after what had seemed like days, you are just about ready to break down.

"So you're telling me that you've been wanted by ♭form for the past year?" you say, throat dry, and Seungmin nods. "What would've happened to you here if you died in there?"

"I don't know. All I know is that the pain sticks after I log off."

The pain sticks. Good god. You lean over and hold your head in your hands, feeling nauseous. "Seungmin-ssi, that's not okay. What the fuck."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I didn't think you would be this upset if you found out."

"Of course I would? I live with you? Do you know how traumatizing it would be to come back from work and find out you're brain dead? Like, fuck," you laugh, feeling your lungs constrict, "oh, my god, what if I lost you?"

Seungmin is quiet. Then he says, almost whispering, "Lost me?"

The disbelief in his echo causes you to close your eyes. Everything is coming out now. You can feel them bubbling over, crawling out from between your ribs, thoughts and confessions that you have stuffed down for fear that they would be ridiculed.

He utters your name, the end of it curling upward in bewilderment.

"Seungmin-ssi." You take a deep breath. "You're kind, and caring, and the first person in actual years who I felt actually gave a shit about me. If something happened to you, I ... part of me would probably die too, I think."

It's too hot in his room. Your vision goes blurry, and you feel your nose start to burn. You sniffle. Hands falling into your lap, you dig your nails into the fabric of your uniform pants. You're sweaty and teary and miserably cracked open, and it's hot, and all you can do is sit and wait for his response.

Beside you, Seungmin shifts in place.

Then two arms wrap around you, warmth upon warmth, a cheek resting against the side of your head as he holds you.

"I didn't know you felt that way about me," he breathes. "I'm sorry for being so reckless with myself. I was ... I was wrong."

Your tears start to fall onto his shoulder. "Don't leave me."

"I won't. I'm here." His hand ghosts up and down your back, the barest of tremors in his fingers. "You matter to me, too. So, so much."

Oh. A sob escapes your lips.

You're so selfish. Selfish for having him comfort you after what he went through in ♭form, selfish for dirtying his shoulder with your tears, selfish for feeling this way about him after so little time.

Selfish for wanting to stay.

You tighten your grip on the back of his shirt. Seungmin hums. He pulls away just slightly to look at your face, and you almost tear up again when he wipes the wetness from your cheeks with his thumbs, his eyes glossier than normal.

"I'm sorry," you croak as he does so, reaching up to touch the dark circles under his eyes. "I didn't even check if you were okay. Are you okay?"

He chuckles a bit wetly, hugging you again. "I'm better now. Thanks for asking."

"Do you need water?"

"I'll get some in a few minutes. Don't worry."

"It's hot. I came in to ask if you wanted ice cream. I bought a box from the store."

"Oh, you did?"

Neither of you move, bodies pressed close, intertwined. You are buried in his scent.

"We can have them now," you offer, with effort, "if you want."

"Is that what you want?"

You bite your lower lip. "... If it makes you feel better."

His mouth presses against your temple. Against it, he admits, "It is hot. But ..."

He does not finish that sentence. But you understand, and something blooms, trembling, in your chest.

"Maybe later," you finish drowsily.

Leaning into him further, you hear his soft agreement, his hands stroking down your arms with a surety that had not been present before. He keeps you here, with him, real and breathing, living.

You are not alone. And neither is he.

Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for loving my prideless self. I'm glad we exist here, in this world, together.

[iamnmbr3]

Lord Voldemort <- break his ass down, please. (Love you blog, btw! 💖)

How I feel about this character

One of the characters of all time. I find Tom Riddle to be an absolutely fascinating character who is so fun to explore. I think he came out a lot more 3 dimensional than JKR perhaps intended (I say this because a lot of the backstory we get on him makes him a lot more nuanced than the narrative seems to acknowledge) which I absolutely love. His complexity, intelligence, creativity, self sufficiency, determination even in the face of impossible odds, ruthlessness, penchant for drama, and the tremendous amount of adversity he has to overcome provide a lot of richness that is fun to analyze and read about. I mean, without him we wouldn't have the story.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alphard Black. Yes, I wouldn't have called it either not too long ago but now this ship lives rent free in my head. (If you want to read about why you can look at this post here). All hail the dysfunctional, hilarious, and emotionally compelling mess that is Alphalord - which I ship both in serious incarnations and also for the crack humor potential; truly the versatile ship of all time that gives me way too many feels but also is very fun to make crack humor posts about. Also, although it's not my OTP, I think there's a lot of interesting potential - all of varying degrees of darkness - to explore pairing him with Regulus as well.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I talked here about how fascinating I find Voldemort's relationship with Snape. He does genuinely seem to like and respect him - to the point that he is actually willing to do favors for him and expresses regret about killing him. Though also...on the flip side, he doesn't like him enough to not murder him (although interestingly from an in-universe perspective we could even read him using Nagini to kill him as him not being able to use the killing curse against Snape due to feeling conflicted). I really like the idea though of him destroying everyone who he feels even somewhat close to.

Which leads me to my actual answer to this question since I already wrote about him and Snape in the Snape ask (linked in the previous paragraph) which is - Hagrid. In the book 2 flashback Tom and Hagrid are on a first name basis. And Tom clearly already knows that Hagrid has an Acromantula because when he gets the unexpected and unwelcome news that the school is going to be closed he immediately knows just where to go to find someone to blame. This suggests that he and Hagrid had a preexisting relationship where Riddle gained Hagrid's trust enough to learn things about him.

It's notable that they would have probably been the only 2 orphans at school (after Hagrid's father died.) I can imagine them running across each other during holidays when everyone is home. (They also both had a nonstandard accent - though Riddle has succeeded in mostly getting rid of his own accent by the time the memory takes place - that might have been looked down on by some of their privileged pureblood peers).

It's also not even clear if Tom intended for Hagrid to be expelled (though he certainly was willing to risk it in order to prevent the school from closing and to avoid incurring any blame himself) given that he seemingly intends to kill the spider and say that it got loose by accident rather than as some sort of intentional plot. He also doesn't kill Hagrid when he has the chance in book 7. This is probably just for plot reasons so JKR can have him carry Harry's presumably dead body back to the school, but in-universe it's interesting. Maybe Tom thought he could still turn Hagrid into a useful servant (which I don't think would have gone well). Either way, the fact that they seemingly had a sort of friendship at one point is very interesting and lends an added layer to Hagrid's assertion in book 1 that Slytherins are bad and not to be trusted.

While Tom likely viewed Hagrid with a certain degree of disdain right from day one, it's up to interpretation whether he ever also felt any positive emotions about his relationship with Hagrid or if the friendship was purely a one-sided farce. I prefer the former because I think it adds more depth and complexity to the characters and relationships if Tom ended up having some feelings of genuine camaraderie with Hagrid but was still willing to sacrifice him to protect his own interests. It makes the moment even more interesting if he did not specifically intend for Hagrid to get expelled and thus ends up losing one of the few people who, unlike the majority of his housemates, doesn't look askance at his presumed lineage as a muggleborn and his utter poverty. And this also adds interest to his decision in the end of book 7 to capture Hagrid rather than kill him.

Though of course, neither Snape nor Hagrid hold a candle to the true Tom Riddle BROTP of all time - Tom & Nagini. I love the way he is generally very touch averse but likes to hold her and pet her like a very terrifying therapy animal.

My unpopular opinion about this character

There's a lot I've talked about before like the fact that I think Tom really did want the DADA job and I also think he's a lot more emotionally intelligent than he gets credit for and the people he seems to enjoy hurting most are actually monied purebloods and the person who behaved most unreasonably in the orphanage memory was actually not Tom.

So for this I'll go with the fact that I view Tom as a much more tragic character than the narrative seems to frame him as. It's weird that so many other characters who do bad things get framed as a tragedy not an inevitability - something that is closely linked with the idea that even for characters who have gone down the wrong path there can be redemption. We see this with Snape, with James Potter, with Regulus, with Dumbledore, arguably with Grindelwald whose last act is to lie about the Elder Wand, and sort of even with Peter Pettigrew.

In contrast, Dumbledore always acts as though it's a forgone conclusion that Tom was going to turn out evil and ignores the way wizarding society and even he himself failed to ever do anything meaningful to help Tom or try to guide him onto another path. That doesn't mean he might not have still become Lord Voldemort. But it's never treated as something that even might have been avoided. There is no discussion of what a loss it is that his talent and power and intelligence and creativity weren't used for good. But it is a loss.

It's not inevitable that Tom turned out the way he did. It's not inevitable that he lived a life where he never knew what it was to be loved. It's not inevitable that the first person to ever offer him mercy is Harry Potter and by that point it's far too late and he doesn't even understand what Harry's trying to do. It's not inevitable that because the wizarding world has no concept of social services he grew up in a muggle orphanage without any knowledge of who or what he was, hated and feared by all, and in turn learning to hate and fear them in return. It's not inevitable that Dumbledore immediately gave him up as a lost cause and he never had an adult in his life who could provide support and guidance and a sense of safety. It's not inevitable that upon arriving at Hogwarts he got sorted into a House with people like Walburga Black who would have called him mudblood and hated him for his poverty almost as much as his bloodline, breeding further anger and resentment. And it's not inevitable that he made the choices that he did to kill and to maim. It's SAD. He could have done and been so much more.

I mean, to be clear, from a reader perspective all of this makes Tom an interesting and fun character. It's not bad from a storytelling perspective that these things happened. But nonetheless, it's a tragedy. And I think that gets very little play in the narrative. Yes, Harry tells Tom to try for remorse, but it's framed by the story more as an instance of Harry being ridiculously decent. When Dumbledore discourages Harry from feeling pity for the horrifying state Tom will find himself in the afterlife, there's nothing in the narrative framing that suggests the readers are meant to view Dumbledore's callousness as awful.

From an in-universe perspective we can talk about the strange bias Dumbledore had towards Tom from the moment he met him, but from an out of universe perspective it's more about the author's bias. Yes Dumbledore is meant to be flawed and imperfect, but we readers are not meant to think his treatment of Tom is an example of that imperfection. We're supposed to think it's just fine that upon learning that Tom has lived a lonely and miserable existence where he is constant mortal fear of being declared mad and forcibly locked up, Dumbledore's first act is to use magic to frighten and to punish. Partly this is just because that scene is a flashback about the villain of the series and JKR kind of forgot that from an in-universe POV he wasn't the villain of the series yet.

But also maybe it says something more profound - because in the end of the story the narrative declares "all is well" and yet none of the factors that led to Tom Riddle's rise have actually changed. As Harry is sending his children off to school 19 years later in the accursed epilogue, nothing has actually changed. It's fine to have a story that doesn't have a happy ending. But the narrative frames the ending as a black and white "everything's fixed now and they all lived happily ever after" sort of ending and...no. And this stems, I think, from the failure to engage with the elements that make the main antagonist a great tragedy rather than a cartoonish inevitability. This all makes the story much more interesting, but I'm not sure JKR is fully aware of what she wrote.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish we saw more of him in book 7. The opening scene at the Manor in Deathly Hallows is really tense and gripping and interesting...and a lot of the wedding planning and camping stuff in my opinion...is not. More scenes of the Death Eaters and Voldemort (delivered via Harry's visions) could have been very engaging. Furthermore, Harry could have actively explored Tom's mind and/or widened the connection to try to figure out where the Horcruxes were. This would have added drama, made Harry's connection to him more central to the plot, and allowed us to see more high stakes and interesting scenes.

[exhuastedpigeon]

There are so many moments in this one minute scene that are going to live rent free in my head for the next 10-12 years.

Shirtless Eddie and Buck watching him

Buck's outfit? That's what we call serving cunt folks

Buck inviting Eddie go-karting in the desert - babes that was a date invite I can feel it.

Buck's little confused head shake when he hears 'first date' because he thought things were going well with Marisol. These boys clearly still don't talk about their romantic relationships with each other... i wonder why??? HMMMM

Eddie telling Buck about Chris's date and Buck's little "oh no"

The way Eddie only brought up Natalia after Buck said "so it's actually your date" because Marisol was going to be there to 'help chaperone'

The way Eddie says Natalia. There isn't a major tone shift, but there's a little bitterness in her name as it comes out of his mouth.

Buck casually saying "we broke up" and "I don't know why I thought dating a death doula was a good idea"

Eddie's bitchy 'i fucking knew it' face when Buck says they broke up.

Eddie not wanting Buck to talk bad about himself, even if it is about his questionable relationship choices, so he jumps in with the "to be fair you had just died"

Eddie's hand on Buck's shoulder while he says "welcome back to the world of the living Buck."

THE WAY EDDIE SAYS "YOU WERE MISSED" because he did miss his best friend!

The way Eddie dragged his hand down Buck's shoulder just a little, like he didn't want to break contact.

Buck's chuffed little smile at the end after Eddie leaves.

Also, the way Buck didn't tell us who broke up with who. "We broke up" is something you usually say when you get dumped. If he broke up with her he probably would have said "I broke up with her"

ANYWAY! Can't wait until next week.

[noob-with-a-shitty-computer]

Secret Romantic (Grell Sutcliff x gn!artist!Reader)

A/N: I’m still pretty new to black butler but this woman has been living in my head rent-free for the past few weeks, which fortunately has given me a bit of inspiration to write a fic :> hope u like it and i hope it isn’t too ooc.

Summary: You were not really known to be a hopeless romantic, unlike your flamboyant companion. However, she wasn’t expecting to see a different side of you on the night you dropped your sketchbook nearby…

In the midst of another work-filled night, you quickly flipped through the to-die list one last time. “I think that’s about everyone tonight.” You let out a sigh of relief in unison with the red reaper in front of you, “What a night. I’m so glad that Phantomhive got this case closed rather quickly.” A bit of awkward silence passed until you heard a few quiet giggles, which made you turn to your friend who’s green irises were swinging left and right to each picture she had in her hands.

“Grell, are you listening?!” You raised your voice enough for her to let out a yelp as if she was a frightened puppy. “‘Bassy’ caught your eye again?” You scoff. “Come on, can you blame me? He was ever so graceful, how could I not take a photo or fourty~? Especially when he was wearing that ridiculously handsome suit~!” She dreamily sighs and you do nothing but roll your eyes. You never liked demons, always thought they were a hassle to deal with. It didn’t make it any better that a certain demon butler just so happened to steal the doting heart of the woman who stole yours.

“Well, I’ll head off now so you can have your little fun, I suppose. See you at work, my lady.” You greeted nonchalantly as you quickly jumped out of the scene using your reaper agility. Before Grell could glue her eyes back to the photos, she heard a thud nearby, finding a familiar book on the stone ground. It was the sketchbook you always brought around during work to draw on whenever you had a bit of time on your hands. She remembered the times you refused to show her your artworks, hiding the pages against your chest as a faint but cute blush creeped onto your cheeks.

It seemed that curiosity killed the cat (much to Sebastian’s dismay) as Grell approached the sketchbook with a smirk, letting go of her precious photos for the time being…

“Let’s see what you’ve been hiding from me, darling.” She mutters to herself as she slowly flips through the sketchbook, admiring every image. There’s a sketch of the town you recently visited in the view from a tall building, doodles of a couple of dresses you saw from a store window, and other random things. You were quite talented, she thought, curious if you happened to have a doodle of dear Bassy as well~ It only took a couple minutes until she flipped through a page that caught her off guard.

Several doodles of the red reaper herself were presented to her, some smiling, some frowning, some drawings ended down to her head or bust and there were a couple of full body drawings as well. She flipped through more pages and found herself again. There was one drawing where she was wearing a beautiful dress and another where she and you dancing together, she was wearing the same dress while you wore your own outfit with a similar design. It was like an illustration from a fairytale book, the you in the sketch revealed a big smile that your colleagues don’t often see on you in real life.

The next page had sketches of her in other fancy outfits, the page after that had sketches of her doing her signature pose, the page after that was a drawing of you and her, hand in hand and looking at each other fondly while the moonlight illuminated your figures. She didn’t realize you were so observant over her. It was a bit unsettling, but it also felt endearing to her that you put in so much effort into capturing her beauty on paper. Her mind was filled with different thoughts, the memories of you and her training, laughing, smiling and spending time together all those years ago up till now. She couldn’t deny that it made her heart flutter.

Meanwhile, you were panicking in your room trying to find that lost sketchbook, worried that Grell had caught it first. You dejectedly rushed to your door only to find said reaper in front of your doorstep, causing you to stumble backwards. “Gah! G-Grell, what are y-you doing here..?” Your heart was pounding as you looked over to her hand which was holding very thing you were looking for over the past several minutes. Grell chuckled a bit as she handed it back to you. “Darling, I never thought you felt this way about me~” She stepped closer with a smile.

“I-I’m sorry, I can explain-“ “No, I’m sorry for pulling on your heartstrings like that, my dear.” Grell’s eyes softened as she apologized. “The drawings are gorgeous as well. I didn’t know you were such a romantic~!” She smirked and you huff your cheeks, “I guess you just rubbed off on me, my lady.”

“No worries, it’s cute.” Her smile grew as she watched your cheeks flush and eyes widen. “Aww, look at your cheeks! They’re covered in such an adorable shade of red~” She failed to supress a cheeky giggle. “Stop teasing me!” You quickly protest before she held out a hand to you.

“Heh, well I must admit, you were always dear to me, darling. I guess I was too occupied with my own obsessions to realize it sooner… But since you seem to be interested in a dance, may I take your hand tonight~?” She stated flirtatiously, causing your cheeks to grow hotter. You were a lot less experienced in the world of love compared to the reaper in front of you, causing you to hesitate taking her offer…

But then again, who are you to refuse a lovely lady such as Grell Sutcliff~?

A/N: i need sleep. why must motivation show up during midnight T_T anyways hope u like it :P

[olisephart]

Short ezkayn comic loosely inspired by the song "Figure you out" by VOÍLA. God they live rent free in my brain.

Details on the backstory and the comic under the cut <3

Starting pre-relationship, heartsteel is established. Ezreal and Kayn have been heavily flirting (maybe even friends w benefits) for months already, but always danced around actually saying anything. Both are too prideful to make the first step, because it's one thing to flirt or (want to) hook up and a whole other thing to admit you have actual romantic feelings for your friend/band member/prank partner.

After an Incident (whatever it was) that made Ezreal uncomfortably aware that he's In Love, he tries to distance himself from their usual flirtatious banter and starts publicly dating/fooling around with another guy; to distract himself from Kayn, to prove to himself he doesn't need Kayn, and though he wouldn't admit it, to make Kayn jealous.

Predictably, Kayn does get jealous but holds his tongue for a surprisingly long time, since voicing his jealousy risks showing his feelings go deeper than physical. Still, he can only take so many obviously staged pictures of Ezreal Definitely being Super Happy and Not At All Faking it with another guy before he confronts him. He swallows his pride and corners Ez, which is where the comic starts.

I didn't feel like writing dialogue, so here's the gist of what I was envisioning. Kayn confronts Ezreal, telling him to drop the sharade with the other guy. It's Obvious he's not genuine with it, the guy bought him (insert thing that Kayn Knows Ez doesn't like as much as another thing; ice cream flavour, flowers, what have you) which Ez would usually scoff at. Because it's Kayn, he can't help but tease with smth like "Just admit you like me and spare us this performance".

Ezreal, defensive, starts denying everything Kayn said, insisting he's dating the guy for real and bc he likes him, and Kayn's ego is just too big etc etc. Unfortunately for him tho, he's been missing Kayn a whole lot, so having grabbed Kayn's wrist, he can't help himself but caress it with his thumb. He stops himself the moment the realized, but Kayn noticed as well and takes that as the sign he needs that Ez is full of shit.

He pins Ezreal's hand above his head and starts teasing him in earnest. Listing all the little tics he noticed about Ezreal, embarrassing things he likes that no one outside of Heartsteel (or maybe even just Kayn, since he's paying extra close attention to Ezreal) ever gets to see, how easy it is to get him hot and bothered and how cute he is when he's flustered like this. He keeps going until Ezreal, overwhelmed with this barrage of confusing emotions (Kayn is paying attention to him, he remembers what he likes and dislikes, he just confirmed all his teasing are On Purpose to fluster him-), decides to bring it back to familiar ground. He grabs his jacket, pulls him close and tells him to shut up.

If they have hooked up before, Kayn knows what comes after he says "make me" - the kiss is expected but simultaneously way more emotionally charged than ever before, because they have essentially both admitted their feelings. Post comic, they make out/hook up and then confirm it in actual words. They like each other, theyre going to be exclusive (bc I love them being possesive over each other) 

If they haven't hooked up before: Ezreal would usually find a comical way to shut Kayn up once he says "make me" - be that smothering him with a nearby couch pillow, pulling the leash on his stage outfit, etc. Kayn feels the electricity between them but this hasn't happened before. He leans in and says "make me", but he leaves the ball in Ez's court. Once Ez grabs the back of his head to pull him closer, Kayn shifts his other hand to hold onto his waist in turn.

[whenthegoldrays]

TOP TEN EUNEUN MOMENTS (according to me)

10. Festival scene

The perfection of this scene, Eun Gyeol at his down-baddest and Eun Yoo putting on a brave face while literally going through some of the most distressing moments of her life, and their being kept apart by the (very understandable) misunderstanding and just. wanting to reach out and be comforted but staying behind those barriers. Chef’s kiss.

9. “Tears in Heaven”

The significance of his singing to her, singing this song specifically because it’s part of the connection they share and don’t realize yet, plus the lyrics being so peculiarly perfect for their situation. And the tenderness in his eyes! (This scene is also enhanced by Eun Gyeol’s later conversation with Mr. Choi.)

8. “You’ll be born just fine”

A tiny moment but so perfect because not only does it show off Eun Yoo’s slightly unhinged sense of humor, it’s also a perfect establishment that they are, in fact, on the same page now. And their facial expressions absolutely sell it.

7. “Under one condition”

This is technically a moment between Eun Gyeol and Yichan, but the fact that Eun Gyeol told Eun Yoo he hated her all of three minutes ago and is now publicly declaring his love for her in front of the whole school (and exposing himself to everyone’s anger in response) is simply too iconic and hilarious and to me, wraps up the essence of the show’s character dynamics flawlessly.

6. “Ajumma???”

Their delivery lives rent free in my head, and they just. hate each other so much right here. Kind of a delight.

5. Once more around the block

Am I overly attached to this scene because of the soundtrack playing over it? Maybe. But the way he cares!!! They’ve had the most emotionally and physically exhausting day and then they get this moment to calm down, for Eun Yoo to lie her head on his shoulder and for him to let her rest undisturbed for a few extra minutes. And!! she goes along with it, because she likes his nearness.

4. “You have three seconds”

The layers and layers to this scene. Both of them pushing their own agenda, both of them wary of the other, both of them YAPPING. The way Eun Gyeol goes from oblivious to apologetic to scared for his life to flustered to baffled in the span of like 45 seconds. And the chemistry is chemistry-ing.

3. “That’s the real me!”

My deep and abiding love for this exchange. Eun Yoo calling back to the pool scene and possibly expecting another fake answer, and Eun Gyeol answering her immediately. He doesn’t have to think up an answer anymore, he knows when he started liking her, he knows why and how, and the truth — that he likes her for her, not for her assumed identity — is so blindingly beautiful to her that she can only shout for joy.

2. “I’ll take my time figuring it out”

Obsessed with everything about this scene, from the callback to the last lightning storm, to Eun Gyeol’s promise to both help Eun Yoo get home and also make sure to draw out their time together as long as possible, to the tension. The longing. And the way the scene is structured around what you’d expect to be the most important part — but instead it draws a curtain of privacy around that moment and leaves the emphasis on his promise and how important and heart-fluttering it is to her. Add to that the beautiful OST and Eun Gyeol dancing down the street in joy and you’ve got a perfect scene to feed my mental illness.

1. “Let’s just stay together”

You knew it was coming. I love few things in this world more than a romantic rain scene, and this one deserves the world for so many reasons. The bigness of their emotions leading up to this moment — her whole plan and perception of her past has been shattered, and she runs away in distress, and he runs after her! He runs through the airport in desperation, he can’t lose her. They’ve been yelling and fighting and sobbing and everything feels like so much, but when he finds her everything slows down, everything can be still and he can just speak honestly. He wants to stay with her. The objections don’t matter. What matters is he wants to be by her side. He wants to shield her from the storm. And she takes his hand and stands up again and suddenly everything is a little less bleak, a little bit warmer. Plus Master watching them in satisfaction that they’ve found their helper? CHILLS.

[lostyesterday]

My top ten favorite B7 scenes

B’Elanna/Seven is my current favorite Star Trek ship, so I wanted to make a list of my personal favorite scenes featuring the two of them in Voyager. These scenes aren’t necessarily good (although I do think some of them are), and they’re not necessarily the scenes that provide the best “evidence” for B7 as a ship (which isn’t something I care about all that much to be honest). These are just the scenes that I personally enjoyed and have thought about the most.

10. Someone to Watch Over Me

This episode is terrible, but given how much I’ve thought about this particular scene, I couldn’t not include it. This is the Voyager scene that most clearly demonstrates how obsessed Seven is with B’Elanna and particularly with her romantic relationships. To me personally, this screams oblivious gay crush taking the form of jealous obsession. Obviously, B’Elanna is right and Seven is stepping way out of line here. This is probably the worst thing Seven ever did to B’Elanna and she’s so justified in being mad about it.

9. Survival Instinct

I really enjoy this scene because it’s an example of both B’Elanna and Seven trying to change the adversarial nature of their relationship. B’Elanna is trying to help Seven here even though she has difficulty with her. Seven immediately regrets her defensive response to B’Elanna’s attempted helpfulness. I think it’s interesting to see how the two of them have fallen into a pattern, responding defensively to each other because they’re used to their dynamic being adversarial, when they both theoretically have the capacity to understand each other better than most other people understand either of them.

8. Infinite Regress

The infamous cheek bite scene. Is this scene good? No, probably not. Has it lived in my head rent free since I originally saw it? Yes, absolutely. Technically, you could call this the only intentionally sexually coded Seven/B’Elanna scene in the show. Mostly, the thing I can’t stop thinking about is the two of them joking about it afterward. B’Elanna jokingly asking if this qualifies as their second date… I will think about that line forever.

7. The Voyager Conspiracy

I love everything about this. Seven immediately calling B’Elanna as soon as she thinks she’s found a problem with the ship’s systems regardless of how early it is in the morning. The tone of B’Elanna’s response implying this probably isn’t the first time this has happened. B’Elanna actually investigating the problem even though she’s rightfully irritated at Seven for being so annoying. I love them.

6. Course: Oblivion

It’s so, so easy to interpret this scene as Seven being jealous of Tom’s relationship with B’Elanna. Me when the person I have a crush on just got married: Monogamy is stupid, and it would make way more sense and be better if everyone (you) would have sex with anyone they want to, whenever (me, right now).

5. Human Error

Ignoring my issues with this episode, it’s so interesting how one of Seven’s major attempts to become “more human” is to try to connect to B’Elanna in this way. I think she chose B’Elanna here because she’s someone Seven genuinely wants to connect with at this point in the series, but she still struggles with how to make that connection. Also, I cannot stop thinking about Seven thinking in detail about how B’Elanna does her hair. Given the rest of the scene, I think it makes sense to say that she didn’t choose this question/compliment/terrible flirtation randomly and has genuinely just admired B’Elanna’s hair a lot. Which sure is something. And of course I love B’Elanna’s confusion here. She can tell Seven’s trying really hard to be nice, which is so not like Seven that she can hardly believe it.

4. Message in a Bottle

I love how these two scenes represent both the adversarial tension between B’Elanna and Seven, and the potential ways they could relate to and understand each other with time. B’Elanna is clearly deeply frustrated with Seven, and yet she still tries to explain to Seven why people (not just B’Elanna) are reacting negatively to her. And B’Elanna can obviously relate to being perceived by others as rude, which makes her statement that she doesn’t expect Seven to change overnight, with the subtext that she understands deeply how difficult this situation is for Seven too, really fascinating. Seven initially appearing to ignore B’Elanna and then later saying thank you to her compliment is also great. Also, B’Elanna’s reaction to Seven shocking that guy is so fun.

3. Extreme Risk

This is a short interaction, but it’s so interesting. Seven initially tries to engage in their ordinary adversarial back and forth, but when B’Elanna doesn’t respond in the typical way, immediately asks if something is wrong. I love that Seven is the first person in the episode to notice that there’s something wrong with B’Elanna. It’s so interesting that Seven seems almost disturbed by the lack of any hostility in B’Elanna’s responses and by B’Elanna immediately putting Seven in charge of something she was going to do. I think that, in a way, Seven has grown comfortable with her adversarial dynamic with B’Elanna because it’s familiar. Maybe B’Elanna has grown comfortable with it to, to a certain extent, and her lack of willingness to engage in the typical verbal sparring of their relationship in this episode comes from the same place as her lack of desire to participate in the normal routines of her other relationships. I guess I’m suggesting here that maybe Seven and B’Elanna are both more important to each other than the show explicitly portrays.

2. Hope and Fear

The iconic “we’ll be outcasts together” scene. This is probably the single scene that best illustrates the parallels between Seven and B’Elanna – how both of them have been treated like outcasts and deep down expect to continue to be outcasts forever. How both of them feel deeply ambivalent about belonging – desiring it desperately and yet pushing away from it because they believe they can never have it. Also, B’Elanna’s defensive excuse that she was “joking” two seconds after she realizes she was accidentally way too vulnerable is so good.

1. Imperfection

Thinking about this scene makes me want to scream incoherently, but I’ll try to summarize my main thoughts concisely and analytically. This is probably the scene where B’Elanna and Seven genuinely connect and relate to each other most strongly. B’Elanna understands better than anyone else in this episode what Seven needs, and Seven trusts B’Elanna of all people to ask these questions to, to be vulnerable with in this way. B’Elanna saying that Seven’s made an impact on every member of the crew is… a lot. B’Elanna truly listening to Seven here and understanding what it is that’s bothering her and saying the exact right thing in response. The whole framing of this scene with the close-up shots on faces, the softness in B’Elanna’s voice. Fuck.

[hoppityhopster23]

Facts about Frederick VI that live rent free in my head (that I simply must share) ft. a super sleepy Hopster

One of my current interests is a Danish King by the name of Frederick VI. I'm currently really tired, but really wanting to post about him. so this wont be as organized as i normally do. i'll try to avoid making it a wall of words, but this is probably going to be a word vomit.

Family/Romantic Life

this guy was a pretty caring dad, and I love that for him. This man fathered. generally a great dad. dare I say the epitome of a good dad from the time. especially given his less-than-good start in life.

his romantic life was one hell of a ride. like- he had a long-time mistress (of like- 30 years) with whom he would have an affair. but, during the Congress of Vienna, he cheated on both his wife and his long-time mistress with another woman. his mistress, Rikke, then cheated on him. That led to ever more soap opera-like stuff happening.

Man not only had legitimate (2) and illegitimate (5?) kids but took on another nine kids. Well, some of them were adults at the time, but still. basically, when his brother-in-law (a duke) died, he and a friend of said duke became the legal guardians of said kiddos. and from the sounds of it, it wasn't just throwing money at them. he actually interacted with them to a certain extent.

to piggyback on no. 3, he had agreed with his sister-in-law that one of the boys, Christian, would go to Copenhagen and attend the land cadet academy. Christian would go to Copenhagen one year after the decision. he didn't live with the monarch but did spend a fair amount of time with them. it is said the king was fond of him. unbeknownst to all of them, Christian would turn out to be Christian IX, the father-in-law of Europe.

he was a parsimonious guy, at least when it came to himself. he would wear his clothing until they were worn out. only then did he get a new one? two of his desks, both his personal one and the one for his aide are simplistic, and so are his things in general. even his rolling chair- which is in Fredericksborg castle, is worn out looking. hell- what I'm pretty sure was his own bed was nothing but an Iron camp bed! granted, he only spent a few days a week in it, as he was staying with his mistress. or his wife.

regarding his mistresses, he took really good care of them. I'm only uncertain about one- which is the French one he had at some point, which did produce a daughter. For the other two, however, it's pretty clear. the one woman he met in Vienna, Caroline Seufert, was granted a large pension from him. his long-time mistress, Rikke Dannemand, was given an apartment near him, and enough money to live a bourgeoise life. That was a far cry from Rikke's former life in Nyboder. My only problem with this was the sheer age gap between them. with Rikke, there was a 22-year age gap. with Seufert, it was 29 years. both women were under twenty when all of this started.

Political

he tended to not threaten people's lives. there was a case where one of the members of the chancellery, Anders Sandø Ørsted, who was a prominent critic of Frederick, and would often write about such criticisms. instead of exiling, punishing, or hell- even executing the guy, he just gave him the choice of his job or his pen. Ørsted chose his job.

was a gruff man (likely due to his upbringing) but quite generous with his people. notably, some of the most realistic small gifts I've seen in assorted Danish museums were given by him. For example, there is a little golden snuff box sitting in the National Museum of Denmark that he had given to somebody as a reward. It is small, intricate, and made of gold. but most of all, it was usable.

His reaction to the July Revolution was good. the November after it, constitutions were made for Schleswig and the Kingdom of Denmark- but the absolute monarchy was still in place. on top of that, 4 Advisory assemblies were created. One for each major region of Denmark. this was a very primitive version of what was desired (and what would come not long after) as the king still appointed a number of the members, and only 3% of the population got the right to vote.

He tended to overwork himself. sometimes until he got sick (like during the Vienna congress). he died still working. he also had the belief that no matter was too small for the king. this meant that he stuck his nose into a lot of paperwork he didn't necessarily need to worry about. this tended to elongate the completion of paperwork, but it did make him more aware of what was going on in the country, so there was some benefit.

Other

he built one of the finest gardens I have ever strolled in in Copenhagen. If you are on any servers with me, there's a 99% chance you've seen the pictures.

It's obvious that his strongest gene was his hair. In every portrait I've seen of his children, they're blonde. like- super blonde.

The man was stubborn as hell, not wanting to change too much. this tended to rear its ugly head from time to time, but he wasn't too stubborn to not kind of acknowledge his mistakes.

that was a word vomit... I do apologize. but thats all my sleepy brain can think of. I'll likely have more when i wake up tomorrow. and if i actually find the time, I can go into more detail. I just need to check the copyrights on a few of the books i have.

[anonymous-dentist]

One of the weirder things to come out of the dsmp I think is like. An over-reliance on fanon? Not that that’s a bad thing, because that’s about all dsmp fans had after summer 2021, but it’s weird.

Because you’ll have these tumblr polls going around and it’ll be like “Benchtrio versus Cumduo” and the propaganda for Benchtrio is that people really like the fics written about them. Same goes for any poll involving c!Tommy or the rest of SBI.

Even when it’s supposed to be a poll explicitly about canon, you’ll see the propaganda be like “I love reading fics about them they live in my head rent free” despite the characters never really interacting beyond fanfiction or headcanons, and they’ll win the round because they’re popular and they have a lot of fics written about them

Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Sometimes fanon is all you have, and that’s fine, it’s how things have worked for all of human history

What really confuses me though is the erasure of canon dynamics in favor of feel-good fanon. Take Benchtrio as an example: c!Tubbo and c!Ranboo were married, and c!Tommy felt left out and lowkey resented them for it. But in fics you see them all living and sleeping together as best friends and roommates/traumatized orphans. Or c!SBI: c!Phil and c!Techno literally nuked L’Manberg, which was c!Tommy and c!Wilbur’s pride and joy, and Phil killed Wilbur, and Phil would barely even look at Tommy in-lore, and Wilbur and Techno barely interacted outside of Pogtopia and even then it was. Not healthy. But then you look at their fics and they’re a nuclear family who have no problems with each other

It’s just a little weird to me when people take these fanon ideas and get pissy when people don’t take them as canon. I mean, if you go around saying c!SBI wasn’t a happy little nuclear family you’re liable to get death threats and insults and everything.

Are these fans the only ones like this? Absolutely not. There are people who send death threats over saying c!tntduo never canonically happened. There are c!Dream or c!Techno stans who get ANGRY if you say that they weren’t poor misunderstood angry babies because, in fanon, that’s what they are usually seen as. Fanon romantic c!Beeduoers versus fanon platonic c!Beeduoers is still an active war zone, and even trying to get close to c!DnF is a death wish

I’m a fanfiction writer, I know exactly how awesome fanon is, and I know just how important it is. It’s what’s left after the end of it all, and it’s beautiful in its complexity. But like. Sometimes people go weirdly overboard to the point of erasing actual canon and harassing people when they talk about actual canon dynamics or relationships.

[blacksails-rarepairs]

black sails rarepair week 2024: the week in review

a brief overview of the fics and art posted for rarepair week! there's a delightful array of work here--modern AUs and canonverse, comfort reads and belligerent sexual tension, repression and introspection, gen and queerplatonic and romantic and unrequited affections.

the event is now closed, but the fics & art posted as part of it can be read and appreciated at any time! comments, kudos, reblogs, etc. are highly encouraged!

huge thanks & all my gratitude to everyone who participated--it has been my honor to serve as your host <3

now: the rarepairs!

an introduction by Benja

rated T. Flint & Gates.

fascinating portrayal of Flint's early days as Flint in Nassau, from Gates's POV, with super sharp dialogue

The creation of Captain Flint, from Gates' perspective.

this is what you do at parties (right?) by sunset_waltz (@thenobleprincess)

rated T. Abigail Ashe/Idelle.

new college student Abigail meets-extremely-cute with local bartender Idelle. (nb: sunset_waltz's fics listed here are all set in the same modern & very queer/trans AU!)

Abigail is new in town, and Idelle is too pretty.

let me get this straight by ElectricKettle

rated M. Flint/Gates.

i'm nominating this fic for most apt use of the ao3 tag "Belligerent Sexual Tension" SERIOUSLY oooooough

Hal Gates is a man of moderation. He is not prone to impulse or hotheadedness. So why is it that this all goes out the window when it comes to a man named Flint?

i think it's magic (and i hope you'll agree) by sunset_waltz (@thenobleprincess)

rated T. Miranda Barlow/Madi.

meet!! cute!!! SO much chemistry

Miranda is Abigail's mom. Madi is her teacher.

a love lost or false by @van1lla-v1lla1n

rated T. Billy Bones/Charles Vane.

Jack Rackham reminiscing on the golden days and spinning tall tales about the love life of his buddy Charles Vane (rip).

I met Jack Rackham at a tavern once, long after the golden age of our kind, and he spun me a tale of a love lost or false, I knew not which, and I know not still to this day.

unspoken words (are preferred) by sunset_waltz (@thenobleprincess)

rated M. Bonny/Rackham/Vane but super multiship!

another installment in the author's rarepair-centric modern au, with so many fascinating poly character dynamics

Charles fucks up, and apologizing is hard.

post-XXVII by @kairennart

Flint/Vane art!!!!!! SUCH beautiful colors, amazing lovely expressions, have i mentioned that i'm in love with Flint's freckles BECAUSE. just go look at it <333

by the way (i forgive you) by sunset_waltz (@thenobleprincess)

rated M. Flint/Madi, Flint/Madi/Silver.

(modern au) Silver disappears, and Flint and Madi find each other as they grieve in his absence. & as if that weren't an amazing enough premise: BONUS OT3 AT THE END

After John Silver vanishes, Madi and Flint are left to their own devices--until he comes back.

under the stars and the sky by Veridissima (@thestagthatlovedthewolf)

rated T. Miranda Barlow & John Silver.

a very quiet and comforting middle-of-the-night Miranda-Silver interaction, with background Miranda/Flint/Hamilton/Madi/Silver. super compelling miranda-silver queerplatonic relationship

Miranda hears Silver walking past her bedroom door, and she can't help but follow him outside.

the unnoticed bulge by BilliesBud

rated M. Billy Bones/Charles Vane.

my wife's first fanfiction :''''''') a very tongue-in-cheek portrayal of a deeply repressed Charles Vane confused about why he's thirsting after Billy Bones

Billy living rent-free in Charles' head.

five times Howell was too blind to see what is right in front of him + the one time he wasn't by tahiri_veila (@twopointsinspace)

rated E. De Groot/Dr. Howell + unrequited Howell/Flint.

absolutely masterful portrayal of Howell's unrequited affection for Flint shifting to a requited friends-to-lovers situation with De Groot. (with bonus background silverflint)

"Welcome aboard." De Groot lowers his voice to a near-whisper. "Don't mind the captain's disgruntled mood. He may be a capricious bastard, but he's damn good at his job. The best, I'd say. You get used to his ways."

pourparler by @van1lla-v1lla1n

rated T. Max/Marion Guthrie.

i'll be honest this was mainly me thirsting after Harriet Walter. but don't you want to know what all those meetings between Max and Marion Guthrie were like! this is that.

Max meets with Marion Guthrie for initial negotiations.

joy, and music, and peace by Benja

unrated. Eme/Madi.

ough be still my heart this one is SO sleepy-sweet--literally sleepy like Madi and Eme have a cozy little rest together, a lovely moment of safety and security.

A moment of rest.

[ravenpureforever]

random question time! which wwx's relationship do you like the most and why? It could be platonic or romantic, all canons allowed

Thank you for the ask! Oh boy this question is hard, because I like I appreciate so many of his relationships for different reasons that picking just one feels kinda cruel 

I think the biggest tie for me is between JC and LWJ for WWX. 

Wangxian is the rare ship where I genuinely can only see them romantically with each other, like I’m multishipper, I’ll ship literally anything if you have an interesting concept, pretty words or beautiful art, like grab my attention I am yours, except these two, they live in my head rent free and they can only be together because like maybe you lost everything, maybe you can never go back to that blissful youth you once had, but that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new life for yourself and find happiness and all the grief and tragedy does not define you but you still want to help people and you will help people and maybe it isn’t the life you thought you wanted when you were fifteen but it is a wonderful one and you love and you are loved and you are happy and that is enough. Maybe you suffered, maybe you were cruel, maybe the world misread who you are and assigned you a role you did not ask for, but maybe that doesn’t matter because you know who you are, you are still kind, and you have someone who knows and understands you and trusts who you are. You are both also kind of insufferable in your love and get to be annoying too. 

But JC & WWX are my ultimate tragic doomed platonic relationship, my neurotic little freaks who can’t be normal about each other and have zero boundaries, bickering idiots, wanting to go back to your youth except you’ll never be 15 again and you the person who knew the most intimate parts of yourself is now a stranger except you still see the glimmers of the person they used to be, the most brutal variation of you’ll never recover from that kind of devotion, the ultimate capturing  lost youth and having to go down different paths and really depicting what growing up is like sometimes, the viciousness where I am able to hurt you unlike anyone else (regardless if I want to or not), the abusive household codependency of survival, literally carrying a piece of your soul in my chest and making the ultimate sacrifice you never asked for because I couldn’t bare to risk losing you, the hollowness is a symbol of my devotion and the fullness is an omen of our splintering, there is one brain cell being shared like a game of tennis, my pathetic meow meow and beloved blorbo, I genuinely can’t be normal about them. 

I think if I really have to pick between them though, I’ll have to say JC & WWX just by virtue of I don’t like Wangxian fics that mischaracterize or villainize JC, like if he’s featured and isn’t a well-written character (Shanastorytellers' and loosingletters’ fics my absolute beloveds), it really takes me out of the narrative. His depiction and relationship with WWX has a lot of impact on my Wangxian enjoyment, and even in canon my beloved Wangxian gets to develop because of all the Ls this poor guy takes, so congrats JC, you win here! It’s by a literal hair, but JC & WWX platonic relationship, get these boys a reconciliation so they can drink in Lotus Pier and gossip about their kids and people they think are stupid, WWX it will enrich your marriage so much I promise. It’s what *I* deserve.

[morphean42]

Okay this may be my hottest take ever but I… bear with me… dislike how popular Ineffable Husbands is. Let me explain. Good Omens has been an incredibly important book for me since the first time I opened it at 11 years old. It’s shaped everything from my writing style to my views on society and the world. It’s safe to say I’ve read this book 8 times at least.

Season 1, also very dear to me. I loved seeing these characters on screen and although some parts were different or cut, everyone worked so hard in their roles that it brought the book to life.

Now, here’s where I get lost. Good Omens is a story about the end of the world, and while yes its “main” characters are an angel and a demon who are very fond of the world and each other, the simple fact is that they aren’t what’s important about the story. They are fun and deep and amazing characters, but so are The Them, and Anathema and Newt, and Agnes Nutter, and Shadwell and Madam Tracy, and Warlock, and the four horsemen (and other four horsemen)/ bikers of the apocalypse, and that one televangelist that lives rent free in my head, and that guy who sees the trees take over the city and R. P. Tyler and everyone else.

They make the story. They are the humans— sans the four bikers—, and this gets lost in the fandom and, dare I say it, season two. I will say right now that I adore season 2, it’s what I’ve waited 4 years for and I would never ever criticize Neil Gaiman as I am definitely not qualified enough for that.

But.

Season 2 makes it all about Aziraphale and Crowley. It loses the message of the book and becomes almost a sort of rom com (for all our yelling and heartbreak and accusations of liar, Neil was right. It is quiet, gentle, and romantic). This is not inherently bad at all, but to me, it’s not Good Omens. It’s not the same. Crowley and Aziraphale were never my favorites, they were never where the meat of the story is at, so that’s where my point comes from I guess.

I am so glad we have representation like them. Middle aged queer people who have god knows what gender fuckery going on. But, sometimes I wish we talked about anything other than them. I wish I could find thoughtful analysis and writing and art just about the book (and even the show) that wasn’t simply “Crowley and Azirapahle aren’t together and they’re sad but then they are and now they’re happy.”

I don’t want anyone to read this and think I don’t like the ship, I love it, it was my first ship. But, sometimes, I just wish Good Omens hadn’t turned into a romance. I wish it was still the delightfully funny and childishly dark story that made me think, for the first time, writing was something I wanted to do. Because it was more than just a story, it was an idea.

TLDR: I love Ineffable Husbands, but I wish the fandom could talk about literally anything else for a change