#not really knowing how to act or take care of a kid
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3rd Star Wars daemon AU post!
Here by popular demand: The Jedi Council and their daemons!
Depa Billaba - Hooked Billed Kite (Taryz)
Mace Windu - Bald Eagle (Maisha)
Yoda - Ostrich (Kieachkta)
Shaak Ti - Hyacinth Macaw (Thevren)
(Commander Colt - Anatolian Shepherd (Pistol))
Plo Koon - Osprey (Averyl)
Ki-Adi Mundi - Great Blue Heron (Czirda)
Kit Fisto - Blue Footed Booby (Krios)
Now onto my random AU lore and thoughts:
JEDI LORE TIME: So, as I’ve said in my last daemon AU post, the Jedi generally have bird daemons. This is by nurture, not nature. The way the Jedi teach young force-users to interact with the Force usually ends up directing their daemons to settle into a bird species of some kind. Which conveniently is around the time a Jedi Initiate is either chosen to be a Jedi Knight or be sent to the Jedi Corps. While it is not a rule that a Jedi Knight has to have a bird daemon, there are stigmas in the Jedi culture that lead to Jedi Knights and Masters not wanting to pick Padawans with not-bird daemons. This was one of the reasons the Council was hesitant to take in Anakin originally. He was already past the age of being nurtured to have his daemon settle as a bird, as he was raised outside the Temple.
(If you’re wondering why Obi-Wan doesn’t have a bird daemon, look at my last post. But to summarize his daemon settled while on Melida/Daan. So not ideal circumstances) (Also Qui-Gon Jinn cares not for cultural taboos, so he did not care much that Obi-Wan’s daemon ended up not being a bird lol)
The exceptions to this bird-daemon rule is generally Jedi in the Corps and Jedi Shadows (I will be making a Quinlan Vos post at some point that goes into that more).
DEPA BILLABA and her daemon, Taryz, who is a Hooked Billed Kite.
Okay for the life of me I cannot remember the reason I picked Depa’s daemon 😅, but it was probably just: ‘I like how Hooked Billed Kites look’. So a good reason obv.
I inserted some silly interactions between Obi-Wan and Depa, and Kee-Ayt and Taryz. I headcanon that since they are the two youngest council members, they will go out of their way to act like children in front of the older council members. Just to make the others role their eyes and say ‘kids 🙄’. Despite the fact that both of them are like in their mid 30s-40s. But besides them acting like two siblings alone in the back seat of a car, they are close with each other. Taryz is the daemon most comfortable being casually around Kee-Ayt, out of the other daemons in the Council. (I imagine that since most Jedi daemons are birds, sometimes other Jedi don’t know how to interact with Kee-Ayt)
MACE WINDU and his daemon, Maisha, who is a Bald Eagle.
In the Temple there runs a rumor amongst the Padawans about which came first: Mace being bald? Or Mace’s daemon settling as a Bald Eagle? A real ‘chicken or the egg’ question lol.
But more seriously, I really did just end up picking a Bald Eagle daemon because I wanted to make bald jokes hahaha. That and Bald Eagles just naturally look pissed all the time, which matches well with Mace’s ‘resting bitch face’.
YODA and his daemon, Kieachkta, who is an Ostrich.
My whole concept for Yoda was just: ‘if Yoda is a small species, then he should get a big ass daemon to balance it out’. And yes, Yoda rides around on Kieachkta because of course he does. And when he can’t hit your ankles with his stick, he’ll get Kieachkta to peck the back of your head (which hurts ow).
(If you’re wondering, all of Yoda’s species have bigger daemons. Like Yaddle has an Emu daemon).
SHAAK TI and her daemon, Thevren, who is a Hyacinth Macaw.
My only thoughts for Shaak’s daemon was I wanted it to be big and colorful. 1. Because she’s just this tall figure with long montrals. She just needed a big bird species to go with her impressive figure. 2. She just has always had a fun color scheme, so I thought a colorful bird of some kind would be fun. SO A HYACINTH MACAW. They’re huge and a beautiful blue color (that matches her montral stripes). I also just wanted her to have a fun, friendly looking daemon. Since she’s on Kamino most of The Clone Wars, and interacting with Tubies and Cadets. I think her having a big, loving, approachable looking daemon was just right. (Which is why in this AU, she was chosen to be the one working with the younger clones). Hence why I have so many doodles of her daemon with young clones’ daemons.
Plus I added an extra doodle of Commander Colts’ daemon, Pistol, who is a breed of Livestock Guardian Dog. Since Colt is also on Kamino, he often is ‘herding’, ‘protecting’ and ‘training’ the young clones. So a herding/guardian dog daemon felt right for him. (Pistol is the bad cop to Thevren’s good cop lol)
PLO KOON and his daemon, Averyl, who is an Osprey.
Tbh I didn’t have any idea what bird I wanted Plo to have. So I ended up googling ‘bird species that are good parents’ lol. And Osprey were on that list! Idk how true that is, but IN STARWARS IT IS NOW TRUE.
Plo is just The Jedi Dad Of All Time (*cough cough* Ahsoka *cough cough* Wolffe *cough cough* Wolf Pack), so he got a Parent Of All Time bird lol.
And yes Averyl spends all her free time trying to preen EVERY member of The Wolf Pack. Is that physically possible? I don’t know, but don’t even try to tell Averyl she can’t do it. All her furry dog children WILL feel her affection.
KIT FISTO and his daemon, Krios, who is a Blue Footed Booby.
All I can say is I knew I wanted Kit to have a sea bird, because he’s The Swimming Jedi^TM. And I love Blue Footed Boobies.
Also Kit is a silly guy who deserves a silly bird, with silly blue feet and a silly name.
KI-ADI MUNDI and his daemon, Czirda, who is a Great Blue Heron.
Ki-Adi is a long, lanky looking dude so he gets a long, lanky bird.
I have spoken.
(Also I see a lot of Blue Herons around where I live, so they’re a favorite of mine).
#star wars#star wars fanart#the clone wars#starwars clone wars#sw fanart#sw tcw#starwars the clone wars#the jedi council#the jedi order#jedi culture#sw daemon au#daemon au#his dark materials au#depa billaba#mace windu#obi wan kenobi#yoda#shaak ti#commander colt#plo koon#commander wolffe#ki adi mundi#kit fisto#star wars au
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The Tattoo(MapiXIngridXTeenReader)
Summary: you tried to hide a tattoo from your moms but failed.
You knew your moms said you needed to wait for a tattoo until you are 18 cause they really wanted you to be sure about this. Well you had other plans & didn't want to wait for two more years. So you got one of your friends who wanted to become a tattoo artist one day tattooed you. You got a little Shooting Star on your ankle. You were quite Happy with the outcome. Now you only had to make sure your moms wouldn't see the tattoo for a while.
Turned out this was harder then expected because your moms became suspicious of you when you started wearing socks around the house cause you never did that. "estrella fugaz(Shooting Star), why the socks around the house?" Mapi(your mami) asked you. "I might be getting sick, my feet are cold and i don't feel well." You told her, before your mami could say anything your mama almost leaped out of the kitchen to feel your forehead. " min lille kjærlighet(my little love), are you having a fever? do you need to lay down?" Your Mama(Ingrid) wanted to know. Feeling relief when she realized you don't have a fever. "Maybe a little nap will help!" You answered. Just glad to leave the situation without your parents finding out the real reason.
Your mama and Mami were waiting till you closed the door to your room before your mami spoke up. "Ingrid what happened to our little girl? She was acting weird. I miss the days where she sat on my shoulders playing airplane or Rollercoaster, giggling like crazy and yelling 'mami you are the fastest!' and now we have this 16 year old mysterious and grumpy Teenager!" She asked was almost pouting. Your moms had adopted you when you were 10 years old. You were always on the smaller side though. So when you were 10 you looked more like an 8 year old. Your Mama shrugged her shoulders. "Like you said Angel! She is a Teenager now! But she is a good Kid! I don't think she is hiding anything from us!" She replied. Oh If she only knew how wrong she was.
When your mama went to check on you she walked into your room since you didn't close the door entirely. "Are you feeling better, Love?" She asked. "I feel fine! It's nothing!" You Tell your Mama. "Okay. Why don't you take a shower then and Join me and Mami for a morning walk?" She suggested. You always went on morning walks with them so saying no wasn't an option. "I will be ready in 10 minutes!" You told your Mama. "Alright! We will be waiting!" Your mama replied and walked into the living room to your mami. "She is gonna join us for our walk!" Your Mama informed your mami.
You went to take a shower, humming one of your favorite songs gently. After 15 minutes you were still in the shower. "cariño! hurry!" Your Mami yelled out. You didn't hear her though. After a little longer you stepped out of the shower, dry yourself off, put on some clothes, only thing missing were socks. So you went to your room, which was outside of the bathroom cause thankfully you had your own bathroom attached to your bedroom.
You sat on your bed about to put on the socks when the door was pushed Open. You should have fully closed it. That was on you because if it would have been fully closed your Mama would have knocked. "kjære(Sweetheart), what is taking..." Your Mama stopped talking, her eyes went to your ankle. "Y/n Ebba Engen Cebrián! Is that a tattoo?!" Your Mama asked, she wasn't yelling but she was loud enough to make your Mami Show up. "What tattoo?" She asked your Mama. "Care to explain, y/n?!" Your Mama stated. "I am sorry, i love you both!" You tried to tell them. "Nice try. We Love you too but you don't get out of this that easy! Why do you have a tattoo that we told you not to get before your 18th birthday!?" Your Mami wanted to know. "I didn't want to wait! I know i shouldn't have! really i am sorry for trying to hide it from you? but it's not such a bad thing. I mean i didn't drink or do drugs. Just got a tattoo!" You told them. "You better didn't have done either or you will be grounded till you are 25!"your Mama replied, sighing softly. "Agreed! You still are in trouble for this! You are grounded for a week. you are going to practice with us, play the game & can be part of team stuff like dinners, but no friends and no phone!" Your Mami answered. You have just made your debut playing with your moms on the team. So at least you could to that. "Seems fair!" You didn't even argue and handed your Phone over to your moms. "Again i am sorry!" You admitted & looked at them. "Can i get a hug?" They both hugged you. Having a Family hug. "Of course love." Your Mami said, she wouldn't never deny you a hug. Neither would your Mama. You went on your walk together.
Turned out you didn't miss your Phone that much at all during the week. Being grounded was over quite fast. But you still wouldn't keep stuff like that from your parents anymore.
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Corporate Couple
Corporate AU Kim Hongjoong x (F)Reader
Summary: Marriages have their ups and downs, but what if your boss as the hots for you?
Genre: fluff
Warnings: slight language
Word Count: 1.1K
Est. Read Time: 5 min
Rating: PG-13
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet
Banner: @cafekitsune
You walked into your apartment ready to find it empty as usual; even though your husband and you would leave together in the morning, it was often that he would stay later than usual handling reports and whatnot- of course, that's what you get for marrying a workaholic.
To be fair, you were in no mood to talk to him right now anyway, so you were glad he was definitely not going to be home. Why did you two fight?
Simple, in your 3 bedroom, state of the art penthouse, you had a wonderful open kitchen, one with the facilities that would have the world’s best chefs wanting to use this equipment- this included a dishwasher. One that her husband, a respectable corporate slave, one earning enough for them to have twenty kids and provide them with a top-tier lifestyle, never used.
Yes, Kim Hongjoong, a man with a variety of wonderful qualities, brains, personality and good looks, had a persisting, irritating habit of not placing his used dishes in the dishwasher.
Hence, a merger, “I'm sorry love, I’ll be careful next time.” He could have diffused the situation, but how could Kim Hongjoong prove to be a stubborn bastard if he had diffused the situation? And chose to use the words, “Really because one dirty dish is going to bring the end of the world.”
Well it had not brought the end of the world, but she had managed to show him a glimpse of what that would look like. In the end, the two had slept in different rooms, had breakfast at opposite ends of the counter and had gone to work on different cars.
That's why when you locked the door, you sighed in defeat but also relief, glad he wasn't there- or so she thought, for when she entered the living space, she found a familiar hunched over back at the dining table, typing away.
Great.
With a slight “Hmph”, you marched into the open kitchen, placing your briefcase on the marble top counter and glaring at him, noticing him visibly flinch. Good, he should know she's still upset.
You turned to grab a glass from the cabinet, only for your phone to right, your sour expressions fading at the name of your work bestie, the only person who understood you- other than the stupid gremlin of a man sitting 3 feet away from you- Mrs.Song.
Swiping to accept the call, you put it on speaker as you began to take out the ingredients for dinner, “Hello, my love, how are you!?”
Her voice echoed in the silence, and you heard the chair screech, yes, leave you, bastard- of course, he was afraid of Mrs Song, hell, Mingi was as well- and Hongjoong knew you had not told her about your little fight because she’d been on maternity leave, but would you now? Was he ready to hear you talk about how bad of a husband he was?
No, he wasn't, honestly he had regretted it as soon as the words had left his mouth, he had noticed your eyes go blank, maybe you were having a bad day, or maybe you wanted him to not act like any other idiot from work, maybe you were tired and stressed- and he may have added to it.
“Missing you, stupid work and stupid men- how's the maternity leave going?”
“It's good…as good as it can be.”
“Mingi taking care of you?”
“Of course!” Her cheerful voice filled the silence in their home, one that had Hongjoong wincing. Oh, he knew what you were doing, “What about you? I heard the new board member was eying Joong.”
“Oh my god!” Slamming the knife down, you took a deep breath; images of that hag staring shamelessly at your man appeared before your eyes, “She was- I was leaving okay- and then she stops me and is just ‘your husband is a very good looking man’, and initially I was like okay? I know my Joongie is good-looking. Why are you staring him up like a creep?!”
Mrs.Song's laughter rang across the kitchen followed by a static, “Oh? So you're not mad at him anymore?”
Hongjoong, who was just around the corner, who had come to take a file he had left on the table, who had heard the conversation flow to another topic and who he had very much heard the ‘my Joongie’, decided to stay hidden, especially when he felt something brew within him at the sound of the way you were being so possessive.
“Of course, I'm mad at that idiot!”
He flinched at your tone, umm…okay so you were bipolar, and he fell in love with a mentally ill person-
“Hongjoong is very annoying, very stupid, very noisy sometimes too- he's squeaky too.” His face deadpanned at your remarks, “He can't cook, he can barely clean, he's a damn workaholic but he is also,” extremely handsome…”
His heart fluttered at your comment, and he heard you sigh, finally coming out of the corner to find her facing the stove, as he sat on a bar stool near the counter, watching her stir the pot.
“Well, that's true…don't let Mingi know I said that.”
You cackled at your friend's response, before mumbling, “Don't tell stupid Joong I said that…he'd be over the moon…his big head is inflated enough-”
A sneeze stopped you mid way, turning around to glare at the eavesdropped, “My queen, I will call you back.”
“Sure, play nice you two~”
Hongjoong watched you hang up before he scurried over to you and hugged you before you could react.
“Excuse me.” you mumbled, trying to push him off you before you grabbed his face, squished his cheeks, and frowned at him, “I was complimenting my husband because I'm possessive.”
“You're complementing your husband because you love him...and he loved you very much too” He mumbled back, holding onto your waist like his life depended on it, only for you to sigh and let go of his face, “I'm sorry, the dishes weren't a big deal-”
“N-no, they were…I should clean up after myself…you work too…and I need you to be active at work.” He hummed, gently swaying you side to side, earning a giggle from you, “Oh yeah? And why is that?”
“So you can keep me safe from the hag~” He sang back only for you to shove him away, “Good lord. Lord forbid someone finds a man with no rizz like me”. You walked back to the stove only for him to cling onto you from the back- a clingy Joongie was a rare Joongie, one that you loved the most- as he kissed the side of your head, “Let me set the table, love…we got a whole budget to make.” With that, he pulled away, his signature chuckle echoing in the kitchen that followed your whining about how much you hate work.
It didn't matter, though; you still had to go to work because your Joongie needed you to be there - a true corporate couple.
#cromernet#k labels#illusionnet#ghostie#ateez#choi san#fluff#seonghwa#hongjoong#mingi#jongho#yeosang#yunho#wooyoung#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong x you#hongjoong x y/n#hongjoong fluff#hongjoong fanfic#atz scenarios#atz imagines#atz x reader#break the wall#ice on my teeth#ateez x female reader#ateez x you#ateez imagine#ateez imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader
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ive always wondered if milsiril's overprotectiveness of kabru was less because of infantilisation (although she def like all elves has that problem) and more so out of guilt. she was a captain of the canaries during the Utaya incident I believe and she witnessed what happened and she couldn't stop it. and she left the canaries because of it and took in the kid who was the Only survivor, raised him in extreme comfort so he'd never see the horrors again and didn't want him anywhere near the dungeons! like i think learning self defense for defenses sake would have made her hesitant but she would have obliged but because it was specifically for the dungeons she was so against it. also like he must have had a rough few years dealing with that trauma as well which doubled her protectiveness
I believe it's a mixture of both, I don't think you can really take away the guilt (actually unsure if that's the best word to describe it) nor the race relations from how Milsiril sees Kabru.
I am the Milsiril apologist ™ but the fact she see's Kabru as a child even now is a big part of their relationship, she's a mother that can't grow up (both for being an elf and for her own issues) and that has to cope with her children outgrowing her fast
Putting a read more cause as usual when it's about Milsiril I talk too much
We can see in every way Milsiril acts that she sees Kabru at most as a toddler during his time with her, she's hand feeding him, has him in a room full of toys and talks about him like he's a cute baby.
I think people are too mean about this side of Milsiril tbh. I think it makes her interesting and it's clear (to me at least) that she does her best to provide for her children even if she doesn't truly understands them. Even in that first interaction with Kabru where she's trying to hand feed him they were *already* training with swords beforehand.
Milsiril also talks to Kabru in a way that kinda seems to expect him to understand more than what a small child would like we can see in the AB extra
So her infantilization doesn't extend to underestimating him at least, rather I think that's how she shows affection (which is still bad 😭)
Anyway, about her trauma with the dungeon and guilt (or maybe shame? Fear?), I do think that was one of the motivations for her to take Kabru in as I said in this post (beware I am a Milsiril apologist and I am VERY biased in seeing her in a more positive light, doesn't mean it's true) but I think that side of her manifests in her sudden switches from crybaby mom to ruthless master
Milsiril is very emotionally unstable from what we can see, she's really trying to convince Kabru not to go into dungeons and when tears don't work she switches into training him so hard he'll give up on his own. I've seen people call this her "true colors" or say she was using "crocodile tears" but in my opnion both the tears and the threat are genuine, I don't think it's a planned switch but rather the fact she's unstable to begin with, both the crybaby mom and the scary swords master are her true self.
Anyway! I think both guilt and infantilization are intertwined in her love towards Kabru, I've said this before but she's a flawed caretaker in a world where she does not have the resources to become a better one. She's traumatized she's depressed and she's an elf, but she's the only one (that we know) willing to at least *try* to treat the people she cares for the correct way. If it wasn't for Milsiril Kabru would have been raised by elves like Rin was (and we know that went very bad, they traumatized her), and Mithrun might not have received the proper rehab he needed to go back into the canaries (He might have managed but we see Milsiril put in the effort to help him cope besides being the one to tell him about Utaya)
That is all to say: Milsiril is still flawed!! It's part of what I love about her, and it's the reason so many people dislike her too. I'm saying this cause sometimes when I go on my Milsiril rants I get asks putting down Kabru to raise her up and that's like, very uncomfortable lmao. Even if she did her best he still was the one that to deal with all of her shortfallings while being raised and he's still the one responsible for getting to where he is, she just made is easier than it could have been.
Disclaimer as is usual for my Milsiril posts: I'm a Milsiril fan, my interpretations of her are very charitable because I often see people being way too uncharitable about her. Please read the original material and make up your own interpretation, this posts only contain what I think it's relevant for my point not an objective view of the whole. I've also already made several posts about her and I don't want to keep repeating myself so if you think I glossed over something important that's probably why.
Edit: thinking more about it, maybe rather than feeling guilty herself she might blame "elves" as a whole for the failure in Utaya, it does say she left it "in disgust". It's not that clear how she feels about it.
I still think it's shared trauma though, I don't think it's possible for Milsiril to not have been affected by what happened there and I think it's part of why she doesn't want Kabru to go to dungeons again. But her way to cope is to turn away from it (and blaming "elves" might be part of how she copes) while Kabru's is to face it so it doesn't happen again
#Milsiril#dunmeshi thoughts#dungeon meshi spoilers#putting an extra disclaimer this time cause sometimes I feel like people are reading dungeon meshi thru my blog
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get to know college!basketball!captain!rafe
college!basketball!captain!rafe who has loved sports since he was a kid, fell in love with basketball when he was around 10 and took it seriously from that moment on. he wants to go professional after college if he can but is also working on his finance and administration degree. He has always been very smart and doesn’t worry a lot about grades but understands the importance of them, reason why he got a full ride in college and got recruited for the basketball team. who is very disciplined with everything that he does, once he commits to doing something he will do it and will do his best. he loves going out with his friends but also likes to stay in, secretly he loves cooking all thanks to his mom and his sister.
college!basketball!captain!rafe who is very cocky and a flirt, knows he is good-looking and that’s the reason why everyone thinks he’s a player, he has never had a girlfriend in college. Everyone seems to know him and or fall for him, he doesn’t really care about it but it boosts his ego. He has been around a bit yes, but not as much as people think, he is picky even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He thrives on teasing people, especially his friends but he’s also very kind and intentional, not everyone gets to see this side of him. His family is very important to him, he has a good relationship with his parents and sister.
college!basketball!captain!rafe who is very easy to please, just some good food, music, and his friends and he can be the happiest man alive. who loves watching movies and of course, never misses one basketball game, usually watches them with his dad or his friends, it’s his favorite thing to do. Has never missed one basketball practice since he was 10, just the very counted times he has been sick. His love language is physical touch, gifts, and acts of service the last two he prefers giving them than receiving them. Quality time could be added to but in very specific scenarios. His favorite artists are J. Cole, The Weekend, and Kanye. who is also a dog guy, every time he sees a dog he asks if he can pet them.
college!basketball!captain!rafe who loves being an older brother but sometimes he wishes the age gap wasn’t that big, fortunately, he has a cousin his age who might as well be his sister. they grew up together and are kinda inseparable thanks to that. He usually goes to her to talk about his feelings, since he knows he won’t get judged by her. he’s not the best at showing his feelings, or so he thinks, usually his eyes speak volumes, and anyone can see it but him. no, but really, talking about how he feels sometimes can be the hardest thing he can do. he tends to put everyone first and even if he’s this confident guy when it comes to his feelings he’s anything but.
college!basketball!captain!rafe who is incredibly perceptive about how other people feel as long as the feelings are not directed at him because then he’s blind. who likes to take time to get to know someone and help as much as he can. who also can easily get angry when things don’t go his way and when this happens he prefers not to talk to people in case he says something he doesn’t really mean. If he’s really frustrated he tends to isolate himself to calm down but if he needs to talk to people he will be very cold towards them, and he immediately regrets it.
authors note: i always have trouble writing intros because i don't know what you should know before reading and what you should discover while reading but i finally finished it. i'm very obsessed with him, and i hope you guys too :)
taglist: @zyafics @maybankslover @niaunoffical @marleymarleymarleymarley @rafesbabygirlx @akobx @papercranesandinkstains @masonmountme69 @winterivory if you want to be added send an ask or comment! :)
REBLOGS, COMMENTS AND LIKES ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED
INTHELIBRARYBTW ✧.*
#inthelibrarywrites#YWMTP?#introduction#college!basketball!captain!rafe#rafe cameron x reader#college au#college athlete#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe fluff#rafe cameron fluff#rafe fic
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Knotting
Chris thought you two were the bestest of buds, two peas in a pod... Well, he isn't technically wrong... there is a p in a pod...
Tags: smut (p in v), knotting, mating, riding, hybrid animals (both puppies), mounting, getting caught.
Ever since that shit with Wesker and Jill back in Africa, Chris hasn’t been able to relax. He tosses and turns at night, plagued with the face of Jill, of all the citizens he had to kill just because they were robbed of their humanity. The whole debacle had left him feeling incredibly lonely and filled with the overwhelming sensation that he was never fully alone. Every time he closed his eyes, even for a second, it was like he was in Africa all over again. It got to the point where his coworkers had noticed.
—
“Hey, Chris, you’ve been acting off, lately. " One late night, a guy in HR spoke up when he decided to stay and mess with the thick stack of paperwork that was growing on his desk.
“Really?” Chris mumbled the words, more interested in the hissing of the coffee machine that was currently spewing out the liquid gold he needed. The sound was familiar to him, something that wasn’t the screams of pain and despair that he also got familiar with.
“Yeah, it’s like you’ve been distancing yourself. It’s making your paperwork late.” The little shit huffed, crossing his arms.
Of course, he didn’t care about him, he was just there to ensure his performance was running at full speed. Not like he expected anything else, that’s why he never really talked to the guy. He just partook in the mandatory check-ins to say what is going good and bad in management, only for nothing to be changed because it isn’t “important.” He learned pretty quickly that the BSAA was good for one thing and one thing only, fighting bioterrorism. As long as there was some new monstrosity to humans running amok, their agent’s mental health could wait.
“I hadn’t noticed,” Chris muttered, grabbing the steaming pot of instant coffee and poring it into his mug that was printed with the BSAA logo.
“You know, I think you’re due for some company,” The guy said thoughtfully. What was his actual name again? Todd? Tom? I think it was Tom…
“How I spend my very limited free time isn’t your problem,” Chris said flatly, finally looking up at Tom. “And besides, I don’t have time to foster a new relationship.”
“Oh, I’m not talking about that,” Tim said, smiling at him like it was some kind of joke.
I don’t have the time or patience for this.
“I’m thinking like a pet or something. Animals have been used for therapy forever. I think you need something to soften up that rough exterior of yours.” Ted chuckled, bringing his hand up to shove Chris’ shoulder. He just took a step back.
“…”
“If I can’t deal with a relationship, what makes you think that I can take care of a whole other life?” Chris huffed to save the man some embarrassment. Man, this guy was denser than that loaf of banana bread he tried to make for Jill when she joined S.T.A.R.S. with him.
“Geez, man, are you dense? I swear you live under a rock…” Timmy sighed.
Are you serious…?
“Haven’t you heard? Those new ‘hybrid’ things are all the craze right now.” If they’re being described as things, it can’t be good. “They’re humans, but animals.”
Chris raised his eyebrow at this. “First of all, how is that even possible? And second, why hasn’t the BSAA or government in general shut that down?”
“Well, the guy who was originally splicing all that DNA was arrested, but they couldn’t just kill the little fellows he made, so they put them up for sale. Not everyone could care for their new pet slash human baby, so some got loose and bred like rabbits. They’re everywhere now. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t seen one yet? News? Alley? Other friends?” Billy said.
Chris paused. “You’re telling me that there’s half animal, half-human creatures walking around the city?” The image in his mind was horrific.
“Yeah, they’re kind of cute, cute like a kid and a puppy at the same time,” Ben said with a smile. “But anyways, brought it up ‘cause I think you’d do good with one. They’re easier to train than animals and can do all the same things we can, so you won’t feel bad for leaving them when you’re out doing that bioterrorism stuff. Brady has one.”
“Who?” He knew a Brad once.
“...Brady? He sits right across from you.” Oh right, toupe. “Right, it’s just late,” Chris said, taking a sip of his coffee so he could at least try to properly wrap his mind around the bombshell Bill just dropped on him.
“Yeah, he says she’s the best thing to ever happen to him. But don’t tell his wife he said that.”
Chris let out a dry chuckle, his mind moving on from the papers he had to do. Maybe he could look up these ‘hybrids’ once he got off of work.
“I’ll think about it.” He said before leaving Ben at the coffee machine.
—
It took way less effort than he expected, the papers quickly being filled out since he was getting more and more eager to find out what these hybrids looked like. If Toupe and Bennie thought they were good, as well as everyone else, they couldn’t be that ugly.
Before he knew it, Chris was sitting at his desk, the word ‘Hybrid’ typed up on his monitor. His finger governs over the enter button. Despite all the admittedly cute descriptions, he still couldn’t shake off the fear that they were just the same as all the bioengineered organisms he fought against. He’s killed his fair share of zombie dogs.
Forgetting the zombie dogs, he had always wanted a regular dog. So he amended his search, changing it to ‘Dog Hybrid’ and hit enter.
The results were instantaneous, and he had to admit, they were pretty cute. The ones on the top of Google had round faces, chubby cheeks, bright eyes, floppy ears, and bushy tails. He then looked at maintenance. There was already an abundance of forums describing how to take care of them, what to expect depending on the type of species they derived from, and just some silly stories people wanted to share.
He was sold, and before he knew it, he had made an appointment to a shelter that houses hybrids to see if he could find one.
Of course, he always thought of having a tough-looking dog, big and fluffy. What he didn’t expect was to walk up to the front door and be greeted with two pups playfighting in the small enclosure just past the glass display. When he walked in, they both turned to look at him, yipping with pure energy.
He turned his back to them to greet the front lady who had been looking at him. “I’m here for a consultation? Last name Redfield.”
The lady smiled, walking to the little gate on the side of her to let him in. “Just go down the hall and to the left, there’s a lady there that will help you from there.”
The lady she talked about was very sweet. She didn’t stare at him too long, or ask about his dark eyebags, or even the fact that he didn’t have unstained clothes to wear. She just asked him how much maintenance he was willing to expend for caretaking, as well as some personality inquiries. She said it was to “match him to the perfect pup,” since they only housed dogs.
With that, he was led through so many isles of dog-human things that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Despite the tempting allure of a companion to have when he came back home, it was all a spur-of-the-moment thing. He had yet to accommodate another living being in his house, and the thought of leaving a senior hybrid or puppy alone for long periods was beginning to weigh on his heart all over again.
—
“He was cute!” You said happily, flopping onto Leon’s side. “Imagine what it would be like to be adopted by him.”
It was a pastime for the two of you to look at the people who walked past and theorize about their lives, about what it would be like to be chosen by them.
“I don’t know, he looks like he could crush my head with his bicep.” Leon grimaced, holding his head.
“Oh, but that’s the fun part!” You giggled, pressing your face to his side as your tail wags behind you.
“I guess he looked interested.” Leon smiled, pouncing on you to nip at your neck. You squealed, trying to kick him off of you as he tried to pin you down. “Leon, that tickles!” You tried to catch your breath when he finally pulled away to sit down on the padded floor of the display case. “But that’s the fun part!” He said with a mockingly high-pitched tone as he smirked.
You huffed, jumping on top of him as you tried to repay the favor.
—
“I’m sorry, none of them called out to me,” Chris said, walking back to the front as he tried to ignore the pitiful looks of the hybrids he left behind him. Man, this was a bad idea.
“No worries, I’m glad you don’t feel the need to force yourself, we get a lot of people who fold, only to return them weeks later saying that they couldn’t deal with it.” The lady smiled, waving goodbye as Chris entered the front of the shelter again.
He tried to ignore the way the two of you immediately stopped playing to lean up against the barrier of your enclosure. Both of your tails wagged, and he tried to push out the sound of “He didn’t get anyone! Do you think he came back for us?” coming from your sweet mouth.
God, this was a bad idea.
“Are the ones in the front available?” He found himself asking the first lady. “Those two?” He awkwardly pointed at the two pups that were climbing over each other now that he specifically pointed them out.
“I knew it!”
“We’re free!”
“Of course! They sure are the energetic type… Are you sure you’ll be able to handle them?” The lady said softly. He couldn’t blame her, he had answered her caregiving question with low maintenance.
“Don’t listen to her! We’re well-behaved!”
“Yeah! We’re so good!”
“I’m positive that we’ll be fine.” Chris smiled. No, I’m not, but I can’t say no to those cute faces…
“Well then, just sign these papers right right here for adoption, and then they’re all yours.” The lady smiled, reaching underneath her desk to produce two packets of papers. On the top of each of them were your names. The handwriting was messy, but the glitter pen used on yours made him realize that the two of you signed your names yourselves. The realization was heartwarming, and with the revelation, he could see the personality woven into the childish signatures. This was going to end up great.
—
He couldn’t have been more wrong.
God, he couldn’t have been more wrong. The two of you were endless bounds of energy, like two Tasmanian devils living in his flat. He had thought that the two of you were more human than dog, able to have self-control and discipline like Benjamin had said, but he quickly realized that he adopted two puppies that took a liking to chewing up all the shit in his house no matter how many times he said no.
But he was a man, a stubborn one at that, and he was determined to give the two of you a forever home.
He’s had to put child-proofing on almost all of his furniture and cabinets so that you two didn’t get into his stuff or shred the legs of all his furniture to shit. Eventually, he had to go back to work, where he’d look the two of you in the eye and say “Be good” like a disapproving father before leaving. No matter what was happening at work, his mind was preoccupied with all the things the two of you could be getting up to. He was starting to think of getting a sitter.
When he came home, his blood ran cold. Pained whimpering. Did somebody get hurt? Was someone in danger?
He rushed into his house, finding the source of his sudden anxiety spark. You. His jaw grew slack as he saw you straddling Leon’s thigh, the poor pup fast asleep as you rutted against him. “Hey!” He gasped, grabbing your arm and pulling you off of him. “No! That’s bad!” He admonished you, his ears aflame as he watched you whine and squirm in his grasp. He didn’t know what to do, and he would rather go back to Africa than see that again.
“N-No, feels good! I feel funny, and it helps.” You huffed, kicking your legs.
All the ruckus woke up Leon, his eyes fluttering open as his pupils focused on your whining form. “Huh?” He said softly, sniffing the air and leaning in closer. “Dad… She smells sweet, what’s wrong?” he said thoughtfully, bringing his nose to her crotch and sniffing.
Oh god. “First of all, I told you, I’m not your Dad. Secondly, you need to back up. She’s…sick.” He said tentatively, not wanting to even think about what she’s feeling right now. “Sick?” You said softly, looking up at him with big eyes and a tail between your legs.
“You’ll be fine; you just need to stay in your room for a bit to cool off; it’ll feel better.” Maybe if she stays alone for a bit, she won’t go into a full-blown heat…
—
That didn’t work.
You were fine for a bit, cooling down and reporting that the feeling in your tummy went away, but as soon as he brought you to the same room as Leon, you’d complain all over again. He didn’t know what to do, he read about this, but he supposed that it was his fault for not asking more questions about the… condition the two of you were in. Well, he guessed that he should have asked way more questions.
But these were the cards he was dealt, and he couldn’t keep an eye on you forever, so he left work today with a very serious talk to Leon. “Don’t let her touch you, no matter how much she begs. And if you want to nap, please sleep in your room. Alone.”
Simple, precise, and direct. Of course, he had already told you about what was happening. That it was completely normal, but that it needed to be controlled. He just hoped that you wouldn’t have to suffer for so long. He was already looking up vets to have you spayed.
—
“Dad said we can’t!” Leon sighed, trying to keep his distance as your sickeningly sweet scent saturated the air around him. He could practically see the way it colored the atmosphere. All pink and flowery and like candy. It made his head spin and cock twitch. Wait, that was new. “But it hurts, Leon! I’m all hot and achey and it’s the only thing that makes me feel better. Don’t you wanna make me feel good?” You pouted, walking closer to him again. Only this time, he didn’t take a step back.
“We’ll be quick, he won’t even know! Dad said it’s normal!” You argued your case, coming in closer and closer.
“I suppose… You do feel sick.” Leon sighed, sitting down on the couch. You immediately crawled into his lap, whimpering as you pressed your slicked-up pussy against his thigh, the wetness permeating through the pair of soft shorts you wore. Leon groaned, the smell of your arousal making him feel dizzy but good at the same time. “Maybe this isn’t so bad…” He said as you rutted against his thigh. “D-Do you need anything?” He asked, hands hovering over your hips. “You. Oh my god, you smell so good, Leon.” You groaned, burying your nose into his neck and inhaling.
Leon had no idea what was going on, only that you were sick and maybe he was getting sick, too. His skin felt feverish, and now there was a throbbing in his pants that was becoming increasingly hard to ignore. He was drawn to the scent, not like he needed to be pulled, you were drowning him in it. Choking him with your intoxicating scent that made his hips buck and his mouth water. He knew he should be stopping this before it got too far, but the voice in his head was screaming more, more, more! He groaned, wrapping his arms around your waist in a tight hug, pulling you in closer to rut against his erection.
“Oh god, yes, Leon!” You sobbed, unsure whether to continue indulging in the pleasure of the now or try and soothe the ache deep inside of you. But you had to, the throbbing was borderline painful.
You slipped out of your shorts, tugging his cock out of his sweats. You didn’t know how, but it was like you knew that this was what you needed, the voice in your head yipping in glee. You paused when Leon whimpered, his hips jerking, jolting you up with him. “That feels good, too?” You asked.
“Yeah, feels good…” He whined, gripping the fat of your hips. Never in his life has he felt this good, like putting ice on a burn, eating watermelon in the hot summer heat, or eating a sandwich after getting out of the pool. All the static in his brain cleared, and all that was left was the overwhelming urge to do something with you. He didn’t know what, but he felt like this was as close as it was going to get.
God, was he wrong. There was something better, and it was called ‘being deep inside your best friend as she bounced on your lap like a professional pogo stick rider.’
He was cussing like a sailor as you engulfed him, everything coming full circle as he realized that this was what he was meant to do for the rest of his life. Nothing else he would ever do would compare. He was sure of it. Your pussy was like a godsend and he couldn’t get enough. He tightened his grip, snapping his hips up into your sopping heat as he pulled you down, trying to get as deep as possible. It wasn’t enough, there was a missing piece.
You were a trembling mess, clenching around him and making him whine as he tried to go faster, feeling a ball of something wind up in his chest. “O-Oh my god, Leon, I-I feel something.” You gasped as he groaned, shoving the both of you to the ground as he mounted you. He pushed you into the ground as he arched your back, snapping his hips into you at a brutal pace as his voice grew higher and whinier. “M-Me, too. Wan’it.” He whimpered, moving faster, until he nearly screamed, your pussy clamping down on him as you came. He didn't stop, couldn't stop, the need to fuck you overwhelming. But he didn't last much longer. In just moments, he was cumming ropes and ropes of thick cum into your pussy. The whole thing was overstimulating and honestly a little terrifying. All of the dizziness went away, there wasn't a trace of static, nor was there a voice begging for more. He suddenly felt complete, and that was alarming, not to mention the fact that his dick was swelling inside of you. “H-Hey, are you okay?” He said in alarm. Despite your moans, the feeling of stretching your pussy like this made him nervous.
“So good… Feel so much better…” You mumbled into the hardwood, eyes droopy and body like putty. “That's good…” Leon murmured, finally relaxing with your confirmation and tugging you with him as he flopped to the side, spooning you. He stayed still, his body automatically knowing the process. It was as if he was on autopilot. The thought made him chuckle. He was made to please you.
—
Chris dropped all his things at the front door when he saw the two of you fast asleep.
“Shit!”
I love puppy Leon so much it's not even funny. Trust that he will be back for more.
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I never actually explained why I started playing the Silent Hill 2 remake. As many people have pointed out, it is an absolutely wild choice (complex, difficult, scary, LONG) for my first video game. (I’m a mobile gamer, I wasn’t allowed to play video games as a kid, etc.)
Since Jacksepticeye has come back to Tumblr, I’ll be a dork and say that I became a big fan of his channel over the last couple of years, and I started watching game playthroughs generally to wind down at night. I’ll basically watch anything he plays, and in October, he played the new remake. I was maybe 20 when the original came out, but I didn’t know shit about Silent Hill. Something about Pyramid Head, The Scariest Games Ever, not really my thing, but sure. I started watching and... didn’t really get into it. Planets weren’t aligned that day, idk. I let it keep running, went on to the second video, and then we hit THIS scene:
youtube
That music comes in out of NOWHERE like strong perfume and I was like, what the fuck is this game, why is the acting so good, what is HAPPENING, I love it.
For several weeks, I was obsessed with the Akira Yamaoka soundtrack (both versions) and the story. The Actual Autism fully kicked in, and it was better than dealing with the rest of November 2024. I watched multiple people play the game, learned everything about it, didn’t care about the combat, never thought I’d play it myself.
And then, two months into this... I kinda... I kinda wanted to fight a leg monster. A mannequin. THEY ARE SO SASSY AND THEY’RE SMART despite having no heads. I wanted to engage in noble fisticuffs (anklicuffs?) with these things. I am proud to say that I have gone from getting stuck in the parking lot on day one to actually being really good at fighting mannequins. (It’s the lying figures that get me. Fucking splash-damage motherfuckers.) Over ten hours of practice play in the first three levels of the game, I’ve only died twice so far (and both times were when the game BOXED ME IN and swarmed me with vomit monsters. Rude).
So anyway, I decided to play the game, and @idoherty451 and I started discussing it in excessive depth, and now I want to do a text commentary for sure, and a video gameplay (voice) commentary if I can get that up and running; I already have some rough reaction audio that I've been posting. I just want all this (and the software I’m learning) to be a new set of tools in my “having fun discussing media” box, really. That said, I don’t know how far I’ll actually take the practice run, now that it’s fulfilled its purpose and I’ve diagnosed that my hapless ass needs to be on light combat. I’ve even played South Vale 2-3 times to develop basic skills! I’m doing so good! So it’s helped to do a first run, get through “I’m lost for half an hour” snarls, and practice moving the camera more smoothly. I may leave off with playing ahead before I get to the last two bosses years from now at this rate and let y’all see that happen, for better or worse, without any prep.
The whole premise here is that I want to walk through the game and talk about all the lore and easter eggs and theories I’ve learned about. It will be the opposite of spoiler-free (minus That One Big Thing I won’t give away). If you would like to watch spoiler-free playthroughs of this long-ass game, I also recommend Marz (new to the franchise) and Gab Smolders (huge OG fan).
Anyway, this is what I’ll be doing tomorrow while actively ignoring U.S. politics. James Sunderland has some very specific problems, and unlike mine, he can hit most of them with a steel pipe. Wish me luck with Pyramid Head.
#sh2r playthrough#sometimes I feel really shy about saying I like something and being Perceived#which is real fuckin' useful for someone who writes about things they like#ANYWAY#that's the back story for my wild-ass choice of first game#video#gaming#long post
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They may as well be walking miles apart
If I hadn't known better, I would have thought they were strangers.
He looks like he just received bad news and went to take a talk.
She looks like an art teacher who forgot what personal hygiene is. Has she forgot what a shower looks like? Dry shampoo??????? I know for a fact at that age, babies can sleep for a few hours. There's nothing stopping her while it's down for a nap to take a shower and wash that ratty straw hair. First, you shampoo, twice in a row in your case, Ms fake VP, then you condition the hell out of the ends. You could also benefit from a hair mask and maybe even a leave in treatment for after because, really??? You apparently need advice and instructions on how.
She really expects us to believe that she's the partner of a celebrity and she can't even upkeep her hair? She can't afford deep conditioning treatments at a salon? Buying the products for home? Can't afford regular self care?
She should look luxurious, and yet she's a walking stick of butter.
I would be embarrassed to be seen out like that if I were her. A small tin of dry shampoo is MAYBE $5. Use it! And wipe yourself down with baby wipes! I can only imagine what the state of the rest of her personal hygiene is just based on the condition and dirtiness of her hair.
No wonder he's growing out claws. If they're actually together, which I am hardpressed to believe, he probably wouldn't want to be in around that.
And him!!
For a man who claimed his biggest dream in life was to start a family, "honestly? Is to start a family. Yeah" is what he said, right??? Was that a fever dream? Because the way he's acting does not reflect that like at ALL.
He looked BAD. Shouldn't this be the happiest time of his life? Where nothing can damper his stride? He has a baby and apparently the love of his life who is wearing a bland ring. Sure it's big but I've seen better. I would expect more from him. And why no clear close up? Zendaya got one. Or is the ring just not that good quality and they don't want that seen too closely? I also can't be the only one who noticed it was turned AWAY from him. Was someone trying to pull a sneaky sneak?
You think he would be radiating happiness. He's not. He didn't even look at her. He wasn't involved. Aren't new fathers, ones who apparently have dreamt of being fathers, more involved? More excited? Where they hold the baby? Push the stroller? SMILE?!
He looked towards the baby once. It could have been because the obviously planted pap was like. "Hey, this is to debut this obvious farce, and to sell it, you should at least look at the kid," so he looked towards the covered baby. Or. Or the baby fussed, and he just reflexively looked towards the noise.
There is no harmony or chemistry between them. Nothing about them speaks on being insync. He was not engaged with her at all. He looked like he just wanted it over with.
This was the most pathetic attempt in trying to convince the world they're a loving, happy family. It's embarrassing.
They need to be embarrassed.
I am ROLLING!!!!
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As a writer, I really doubt they won’t make Byler endgame.
I’m not that good with the cinematography hints or some other details like clothes or lighting.
But, the subtle way the characters interact, the lines they say, I always use that for foreshadowing and to imply a feeling the character is not able to express (or is not totally aware of it yet)
So, in this perspective, I was glad when I got introduced to Byler cuz Mike is my favorite in narrative speaking and some things from s3 and s4 were kind of off even knowing he’s a 16 years old kid and that could explain his flaws while growing up.
But the reason I liked Mike is for his awareness in moments of crisis his loved ones have and the leadership nature in him, also the fact he’s always a step ahead of any situation, specially when he needed to reassure Will or El how important they are for him and that they’ll be okay.
He also reassured Dustin he’s his best friend too.
That’s Michael.
So, why a character that cares so much for how his people are feeling, even with the trauma and his explosive reactions at times, how that kind of character would be so inconsistent with the two people he cares the most?
He needs to have a reason.
Mike is the heart of the party. I do think he’s a very important character for the writers.
So it cannot just be a coincidence or them trying to make him dirty.
He’s struggling, he’s suffering, so he’s messing up things that he can’t handle anymore.
He’s hiding something the audience could know if they pay attention, but the idea of a writer is that you don’t know it.
If you don’t know it, that’s better.
It makes me so happy when a reader comes to me like: omg I didn’t see that coming! But it makes sense!!
That’s what a writer wants, that’s what we’re looking for.
But it was too much deceiving, the GA couldn’t see it at all, so they had to literally say Will was in love with Mike. Cuz Will was the harder to read.
Even with the van scene people still can’t read the room.
So Noah had to literally say it out loud: WILL IS SO GAY AND IN LOVE WITH MIKE.
The writes know what they’re doing. They know the GA is convinced on the ElMike thing so the plotwist coming from Mike is easier and more interesting.
So, as a writer I just cannot see ElMike “happy ending” they got too messy and they don’t even try to show chemistry anymore (talking about their acting and dialogues). Which is not the same with Mike and Will scenes. You can say they take a good care of their lines and everything else.
I could talk about Will and El side, but I have seen enough posts about those two.
May be later.
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Noé and Damsel relationship chart ♡
Damsel's Relationship Breakdowns:
Noé - "My precious baby brother Noé ♡"
- Noémie and Damsel are thick as thieves. she's also kinda the reason he has such a skewed view of romance, whoopsies ♡. Noé is precious to her, and she let's him get away with far more than anyone else in the orphanage. her precious baby brother that occasionally gets her off ♡
Kylar - "My cute little pet!"
- Kylar is obsessed with her. she finds that hilarious. she loves Kylar in her own twisted little way, but if we're being honest, most of what she feels for Kylar is just a lust-filled power high. despite this, she is incredibly possessive of Kylar. she'd further isolate him if he even considered falling out of love with her. she craves the validation he provides. Kylar thinks she's a perfect angel who can do no wrong.
Whitney - "My bitch ♡"
- Whitney wants to fuck her so bad it makes her look stupid. Damsel is aware of this. she thinks it's sooo funny. Damsel feels this odd mixture of actually liking Whit as a friend sometimes and wanting to beat her ass on the daily. Ultimately Damsel thinks she's kind of pathetic and that she purposefully picks fights for her to humiliate her. cute ♡
Robin - "Don't fly too far, Robin. You owe me."
- Damsel resents Robin as much as she cares about him. Robin thinks Damsel is amazing and feels indebted to her, plus he has a crush. Damsel takes advantage of that. She teases him a lot and keeps him at low confidence because it makes her feel more powerful. it's the least he could do for her.
IW - "Who...were we?"
- Damsel is...wary of The Wraith. she's interacted with them enough to know they have some sort of connection..but what is it? she is The Wraith's precious pearl. she's not sure what they mean by that. she's also pretty sure she's seen them before, in those months where she had disappeared.
Harper - "Doctor Harper..."
- very mixed feelings. on one hand, he did help her post-reappearance. on the other hand, he very clearly is the shadiest fucking doctor she's ever seen. but also she thinks he's kinda pathetic for attempting to hypnotize her into kissing him and performing sexual acts on him. she thinks that's cute ♡. Harper thinks she's lovely, she was pretty compliant during her treatment. shame she doesn't come around much anymore.
Niki - "I think I'm in love with you. I have to die."
- Damsel is so down bad for Niki that it genuinely embarasses her. if anyone ever found out how often she thinks of Niki, she'd die immediately. she's going stir crazy thinking about him. Niki thinks she's cute and a great model. they like her more than they let on.
Landry - "She's almost like a mom! or an older sister."
- Landry and Damsel have a very playful relationship. they both tease Mickey when they're together and Damsel thinks Landry is a pretty nice woman, all things considered. Landry thinks it's a little odd how many important documents and items Damsel manages to her her hands on and to sell, but hey, she hasn't gotten caught so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Bailey - "I hate you. [I don't]."
- Complicated feelings. She doesn't like other people demanding money from her and she doesn't like how quick he is to try to literally sell her. but...she was very attached to him as a kid and that's hard to shake off. [she also thinks he's hot but she'd jump from a building before admitting that]. Bailey thinks she's reliable. sometimes he still looks out for her.
Noémie's Relationship Breakdowns:
Damsel - "My tiny older sis ♡. I'll keep you safe."
- he does everything he can to keep her safe. he also feels a bit entitled to parts of her but I go into that more here. Damsel was the first person he attached to at the orphanage and some things never change. despite not being around her much physically during the week, he does seem to always know how to find her if he needs to.
Robin - "We grew up together. You should be less naive."
- he's noticed Robin's attachment to Damsel but he doesn't really bother with it. Robin isn't a threat. Robin tends to see Noémie as an extension of Damsel because they interact him in similar ways and so he's got a very confusing boner for Noé.
Kylar - "You're not good enough for my sister. You're lucky she likes you."
- if he could get rid of Kylar without Damsel being upset, he would. he doesn't think Kylar is worth any of Damsel's time, even if she's just using him. Kylar views Noé as a roadblock to Damsel and him living happily ever after. he's partially right (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶).
Sydney - "Fall into my arms, I'll guide you."
- Sydney is naive and pliable, the perfect subject to convert into his devotee. he wants to drive Sydney into calamity just to be her savior so he can be her new god. Sydney's low-key losing it because of his teasing and she's falling hard.
Jordan - "You seem so innocent for someone in such high regard. Curious."
- so curious about Jordan. how can someone so innocent be a priest for this fucked ass Temple?? wants to ruin Jordan but also thinks he's fun like this. likes to subtly flirt with him because Jordan is very easily flustered. Jordan thinks Noé is sweet and kind! even if he can be a bit of a smooth talker. he's choosing to ignore how that affects him.
Bailey - "I spent a lot of time around you when Damsel and I were young. You seemed so different then."
- he gets pissed off when Bailey attempts to sell off Damsel [before she made bank of course]. there's still some bitterness there, but he also still thinks of Bailey as that guy Damsel used to cling to and admire so he's not completely on his shit list. Bailey doesn't like to be around him too long because the air around him is always ice cold, but Noé pays his dues so he doesn't have any strong feelings about him.
Relationships I didn't add so the chart didn't get too confusing
- Noé is very interested in The Wraith and their interest in Damsel. however he's also like...please stop trying to impregnate my sister with your parasite babies ♡
- Noé likes Niki [btw my Niki is amab but uses he/they pronouns so if you see me hopping between those now you know why]. they treat Damsel well and she doesn't get harassed nearly as much in his photography studio. he's Noé approved.
- despite her bad blood with the Temple, Damsel actually really likes Jordan! she feels a bit bad that she doesn't visit him more often. also she low-key wants to get in his pants but she's choosing to ignore that.
#fun fact: Robin is growing his bangs out to look more similar to Kylar in an attempt to make himself more appealing to Damsel#whitney the bully#kylar the loner#sydney the faithful#robin the orphan#ivory wraith#niki the photographer#harper the doctor#landry the criminal#bailey the caretaker#jordan the pious#dol pc#damsel the starlet#noemie the singularity#damsel draws sometimes#trying to get in so much drawing before i actually start doing school work for the semester lol
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The Ink Demon x Female Black Reader
Summary: After nonstop of thinking about Bendy and what he did you couldn't help back go back and finish what your father couldn't.
Warning: Tongue fucking, kissing, eating out, name calling, virgin, and gentle care.
A story will show why the place got like this. It's made up.
You've been working along side with your father and his crew. Animating and designing new cartoons for children around the world.
You felt happy for what you were good at. Becoming a great animator just like your dad you thought to yourself. Your father had plans for this business to go big. But you had other ideas like wanting to take over business when he retires.
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After some months Your father and his crew came up with 'Bendy and the ink machine'. The characters were cute. Bendy the little demon, Alice Angel, Buddy Boris, and more. My father would often show the characters how to be 'human' to make the kids understantand what's happening in the show. It was cute seeing how they did things but bendy on the other hand is very funny. He would stay by my side the most it was like he was glued to me.
'I didn't see a problem with it I thought it was fine." I mean there weren't much other female's working here like I did. But I think my father caught on to bendy's clingyness towards me. Let's just say he wasn't a big fan of how he was acting like.'
After your father took care of the characters he went up to you and whisper something in your ear. "I need to talk to you privately." You've nodded to him and petted bendy's head before leaving him to walk your father. As he tail unwrapped from my leg his smile turning grumpy. You looked back seeing his little mad face. You've felt bad but you needed to see what your father needed. As both of you got in his office you sat down in front of your father waiting for a word. You've hated talking with him about something serious because it would end up into a big argument about something stupid.
"So what this time?" He sat down looking into your eyes like you should already know "Y/N I'm not liking how Bendy is coming to be close to you." You sat up crossing your arms while rolling your eyes towards him and groaning. "Y/N I'm being dead ass he's not supposed to be doing that he's really supposed to be a match for Alice not a human." "Okay! So what you act like he gonna go further he's a good demon he's not gonna fuck me he doesn't even know what sex is!" You get up from your seat fixing your skirt and looks back at your dad who's pissed.
"That don't matter he's too clingy and I don't like it." You cut him off by saying "And so what leave him alone he'll hangout with Alice soon." "Y/N." "Give him time he just needs time." He get's up from his seat "Y/n no!" "He's new you just created him this month just like the others!" He slams his fists upon the table yelling out at you. It makes you little shocked by it but you kept your ground as you must. He yells at you saying "HE WILL DATE ALICE NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT'S IF I HAVE TO MAKE YOU LEAVE THIS WORK PLACE BY HAND I WILL IF IT WILL BE HELD JUST LIKE THAT!" He settled down trying to calm down.
You looked at him with overwhelming feeling thrusting through your mind but mostly your heart. "Now I see why mom left you.." With that you left out his office. You heard him trying to call back for you but nothing works. "Y/N-... Fuck Man!" He knocks over his stuff off the desk which made him even maded so he threw things over in his office. Meanwhile you sat in one of the storage rooms crying and sniffling away from the madness and sadness.
You didn't notice but Bendy had came in the room after you. After all he was was following you but you didn't notice because of his sneakiness. He walked up to you putting his hands on your knees. His smile frowning when he seen you cry. You looked at him with watery eyes. You couldn't speak much so you just landed your hand on his. He stayed with you as you cried.
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The next morning you came back to the work shop but when you arrive you saw police there. You saw your father talking to one of them. You walked over to him to see what's was going on. "What happened!?" He looked at you disappointed "what!?" After he got done talking with the police officer. He turned to you and said "Apparently one of the coworkers were found dead in his work station." You gasped "No that couldn't be." He rubbed his head "Well it is and now I'm told they don't know who did it there's no trace of anything." Your father got annoyed and worried for his business "Just do me a favor and go back home I can't have you here right now." You were about fight back with him on this but before you could he walked away.
You left for now but came back at night. You're father didn't know you came back. But little did you know you were in for a surprise. You opened the back door to the work shop just so you wouldn't run into people you know. Which you don't think it would happen after all this place is big. You walked in the half lit hallway. You heard voices coming from a room. You went to check it out. You saw the room and looked through the cracked open door to spy and listen.
"I'm not stupid I know the only pers- no not a person a thing that could've have did it was one of cartoons." You saw your father partner pasted around the room "Yes but they don't know anything about killing." Your father responed but his parnter stopped and looked at your father "Let's just question them instead." He went to the door you were peaking in and you hurried to hide. "Wait." Your father followed after him. Once they were far. You got up to follow to see what would happen next. "The animation room?" You said quietly. You've never knew where they put the characters at after they were done with the show. "Alright one of you spit it out what do you know." Most of the characters looked confused. "As you know someone died today and there was no trace which makes me believe one of you had something to do with it."
She got on her knees so they wouldn't see her. He kept talking but you noticed somebody was missing from the characters. You counted remembering the names "Where is B-.." whispering to yourself. You felt something touching you. Just turning around to see Bendy but not the normal Bendy with his smile and cute little horns. Half of his face was dripping with ink. Like he was mentaling. You almost scream but he covered your mouth. You started to breath heavily as he removed his hands from your mouth. "What happened to you?..." You put your hand on his face half mentaling face feeling the ink. He looked scared like he didn't know either. "Aww babe you look so scared.. What happened.." You were to busy worrying about Bendy that you didn't hear your father and his partner come out the room. "Y/N what the hell are you doing here." He sounded mad but you ignored him. "Dad look at Bendy something isn't right with him!". Your dad pulled you away from him "Stand back he might be dangerous!" His partner yelled.
But you couldn't believe that "No he isn't he's just scared look at him he doesn't know what's happening to him either!" You told them. "Y/N I need you to go and find the other coworkers and warn them." You looked at him "No he's not dangerous he just needs fixing.." He started to get annoyed "Right dad you can fix him just like the others right!?" You waited for a answer.
"Y/N trust me there's nothing we can do once they turn like this there asigned as dangerous no other way but to kill them." You couldn't believe your ears all thoses times when you were growing up you've been lied to. The more you keep going back and forth with him the more Bendy got worse. You both didn't know the halls were starting to turn black and inky. Until you hear "We need to leave now!" You both stopped and noticed the place "Y/N you need to go now. Anthony take my daughter and leave the place."
"Hey! No hands off of me now!" Bendy notice your discomfort. He got mad and started to deform and grow into a real inky devil. He tries to run after you but a surprise shot gun shell made him fall down onto the floor. His screams of rage you could hear as you were being pulled towards the exit door. once outta the building you argued with Anthony to let you back in but nothing.
Minutes go by still waiting for your father. But he hasn't came out. "I'm going go check on him." He left you as he went back in. It didn't take long before he came back out with your father in a bloodied mess. "Dad!" You yelled running to him. "H-he's.." "No!" "He's gone." You held his lifeless body crying in his neck.
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That's all you keep thinking about over and over. Now as you stand in front of the building where your father die at. You looked up at it seeing how it's a mess. Taped with labels and signs to not go in or stay out. "Time to finish what my father couldn't." Walking into the building the door nearly came apart in your hand. You ignored it and keep walking noticing the place and how inky it became. After hours of walking through different doors you found yourself in the animation room.
Remembering who were all in here once. Moving forward in a door you saw opened. You walked through in and heard something fall. You stood there little scared of what's behind the door. You saw two doggy ears pop out. You gasped and knew who it was. "Boris?" He looked at you his tail wagging as he went to hug you. He's gotten taller. "Hi buddy!" You hugged him back. He let go and took your hand to take to his table and show you his toys. "Aww Boris you still have them." He nodded smiling. "Hm do you know where the others are?"
Boris stopped smiling and got out something. "What's this?" You put them on the table to seeing drawings he made. The more you looked at it you notice it tells a story of what happened over the years of when the place was abandoned. The last one caught you off guard it was a picture of a devil like figure. You felt like you saw it before but when? "Boris who's this?.." He took some of the black ink from the floor and wrote on the wall "B E N- Bendy.." You got up from your seat. "Okay well I need to find him can you take me to him?" He nodded and lead you to another door.
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After showing halfway through the building he let you go in on your own. But don't worry you were close. You just didn't know that.
Not only after going farther into his area. You found Alice. How did you find her? It's because of her signs. She looked differently and ruined. Her actions were no longer the sweet angel you known. She would often scared you with her ways. You talked to her but all she really wanted from you was to take down the 'The Devil Himself' that's all she would talk about. You felt bad that she turned out that way. After saying your good byes you left her. The last thing you remember was she said "Do this for me and I might beable to return a favor."
Now finally you were in his full control. His world and there was no going back. You went in the studio where all the cartoons were. Just to be meant face to face with him. Your heart dropped to your ass as you saw him crawling on the huge chair. He got over it and jumped onto you making you fall back on the floor. "Holy fuc-..." You said under your breath. "Y/N you've come back what a lovely surprise." His laugh sounding demonic. He's on you looking deep into your eyes. 'Not that you could see his eyes.'
He gets up off of you just to lift you over his shoulder. "Hey! What are you doing put me down." You try getting down but nothing. "Boy if you don't put me down!" Bendy starts to form a bed outta ink.
He throw you on the bed but not to hard. You tried getting up to escape. But he pushes you back on the bed. He's stronger than you thought. He makes inks chains to hold her down. "Get these chains off of me!" You start to move around alot. But your only making it harder on yourself. He see's you struggling but the more you do the more excited he becomes from it. "Let go of m-." You tried to yell but that only makes him put his long prehensile tongue in your mouth leading down your throat. As he start with her clothes he rips off her shirt same with her bra.
He took his tongue outta her mouth and started to use it again but to tease her right boob. Then he uses his hand for her left. He started off squeezing her boob and playing with her hard nipple. She seemed to enjoy it but tries to act like she didn't. Not long until that act will be over. Her moans and groans saids it all. He looks at her face and see's the blush from her. He takes his hand off her boob just to rip off her pants. He sees her painties and how wet they became. You saw what he was looking at and closed your legs.
"Bendy no please anything but there.." He stops the teasing with your boob. "Just not there please I'm a virgin." He looks at you confused. You've remembered he doesn't know that stuff. "It's where I've never had sex with anybody and my cherry hasn't popped yet I'll like to keep it that way." He seemed to understand a bit. "So that means if I were to have sex with you.. I'll be your first?" You've nodded to him.
It made it no better because now he takes it as if I did it first that means you're his forever. He proceeds to slides your panties off since you didn't have chains on your legs. "Wait- babe please don't.." He didn't listen and started to tongue fuck you. You could help but dig your head back into the pillow. You were so outta of it. His pace would start to speed up. "A-ah fuck~" you moaned out. His tongue felt like a wave to you. "Aw, can't handle a little demon's tongue?"
he said as he pushed his tongue even deeper inside her. causing you to whimper as you're legs shook more while at the same time closing around his head. Bendy becoming more confident and daring decided to follow up by pumping ink inside of his tongue increasing it thickness and length. His speed was so fast you couldn't keep up of how many times you've cumed on his tongue. "Mmmm you’re so tasty." He murmurs into your wetness. Your legs would shake even more.
He could feel you're trembling, hear you're whimpers, but he pushed on, driven by a lust he couldn't control. "Such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He purred. A hunger burning in his eyes as he gazed at you're glistening folds. He loved the taste, and the thought of claiming you completely.
Lowering his head, he dragged his tongue along your slit out, and then going back in you again. Groaning at the exquisite flavor that exploded on his taste buds. He could feel you're squirming beneath him, hear you're moans echoing in the empty room. "That's it, babe." he encouraged, his breath hot against you're skin. "Let me hear you. I want to hear every sound, every scream of pleasure."
His tongue deeper, thrusting into you're tight heat. He could feel you're clenching around him, you're juices flowing freely as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.
"Yes, fuck, you taste so good." He could feel you trembling and writhing beneath him, you're desperate moans filling the air as his tongue plundered you're most intimate depths. The taste of her was intoxicating, fueling his lust and hunger. He could sense you're approaching climax, you're walls clenching and fluttering around his invading muscle.
"Come on, baby." he growled, his voice muffled against you're dripping sex. "Cum for me. I want to feel you come undone on my tongue."He redoubled his efforts, fucking you with deep, powerful strokes as he suckled on you're sensitive clit. His hands gripped you're thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, determined to bring you to you're ecstasy.
You're back arched off the bed, you're head thrown back in a silent scream of rapture. You're body convulsed, shaking uncontrollably as the force of you're orgasm crashed over you. Bendy could feel the gush of You're release flooding his mouth, you're sweet nectar dripping down his tongue.
"Fuck." he groaned, lapping up every drop of you're nectar. "That's my good girl, cuming so hard for me."He gentled his touches, helping you ride out the aftershocks of you're intense climax. As you trembling subsided, he placed a final, tender kiss on you're glistening mound before trailing his way up you're body.
Bendy captured you're lips in a searing kiss, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue. He could feel a sense of possessiveness, of pride at having brought this magnificent creature to such heights of pleasure."Such a good girl." he praised, stroking her hair as he gazed into you're eyes. You were so tired after that work he put in.
He noticed that and made sure the chains were off of you. He made you comfortable in the bed. You knew this was wrong. You knew you couldn't let him go after what he did. But seeing his new form made you believe it won't believe it won't be so easy to take him down.
You felt him lay behind you. He put his arm around you pulling you in close to him. "Stay with me forever." That's what he told you before you headed off to sleep.
Part 2?
#bendy x reader#black reader#bendy and the ink machine#bendy au#x black reader#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#boris the wolf
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Stan: Leave me alone baby
Rose: *looking mildly sad as she’s curled up inside Ford’s old lab coat*
Stan: *immediately bursts into tears and scoops her up in his arms* You’re my baby! You’re my baby and I love you so much!😭😭
Alternatively
Stan: I never understood why people care so much about their dumb kids. Until I got a dumb kid myself *picks up Rose*
Stan: I’ve only known Rose for a day and a half, but if anything were to happen to her, I would kill everyone in this town and then myself
Tags: @astralshipper @arickaandherfictionalothers @shibasparklez @wolfofthedead
#the amount of guilt Stan felt after causing Ford to fall through the portal doubled when he saw that Ford had a kid he didn’t know about#he was hesitant and a bit of an ass at first#not really knowing how to act or take care of a kid#but eventually he’s like that one meme from Brooklyn 99#self shipping#self ship#selfshipping#self ship community#self insert#selfship community#f/o#parental f/o#selfship#gravity falls#gf#stan pines#stanley pines#uncle stan#gravity falls self insert#gravity falls oc#Rosemary pines#incorrect gravity falls quotes#incorrect self ship quotes#source: american dad#source: brooklyn nine nine
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thinking abt how satoru is one of the only adults in the jjk universe who can separate the child from the situation/cards they are dealt with… yuji took in sukuna as a host and he’s the only adult who sees yuji as a child/his own human being while other adults see him simply as “sukuna’s host” who needs to die. thinking abt how satoru was also one of the only adults who stepped up for yuuta and that’s one of the reasons yuuta appreciates him so much… same with when he took in megumi. at the end of the day gojo satoru is the only one in the universe that knows what it’s like to be used/seen as a weapon or Entity rather than a person and he won’t let his kids feel the same way/he’ll do everything in his power to make them feel better & actually LET them be children!
#and yes i do mean one of the ONLY adults#suguru didn’t see yuuta as a human being/child he saw him as someone to kill and overtake#which is so interesting considering what happened to riko like suguru really did just continue the cycle of killing kids to further agendas#nanami at first didn’t see yuji as a child but rather sukuna’s host and it isn’t until satoru has that convo w him in the bar#that i think nanami realized how much satoru cares about these children#which in turn ofc we all know how much nanami loved/adored/cared for yuji :’3#and then ofc teen gojo taking in megumi/tsumiki#i know people always say gojo was never a father he’s more of a brother/uncle etc etc etc#like sure he may act like that but . he did take care of them in a fatherly way#just bc he acts silly doesn’t mean he can’t be a good paternal figure 😭#i think abt how tsumiki had the biggest and best room in the hospital when i watch the anime and how gojo definitely pulled that#idk i just. satoru doesn’t get nearly enough credit for the simple act of CARING. for children especially#moreso than any other character in the manga and i’ll die on that hill#gojo satoru#personal
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Crucify Him
#Naruto#Itachi Uchiha#Kisame Hoshigaki#Kisaita#itakisa#not really but we know how i feel about them#this is right before he wrecks kakashi#i dont remember the exact sequence but whatever#I'm very curious of Itachi's hostility toward kakashi specifically#you could make the argument that he's just doing his evil villain act#but god DAMN#did you have to crucify him#he puts his own ass in a sling too but overusing his sharingan#itachi says I don't care if I die#as long as I kill you in the process#I like to think itachi bears animosity toward the leaf kakashi the rest of his superiors his family really everyone#because he was forced to choose between two very unattractive options when he was just a kid#not just that but he was expected to take full responsibility for his decision and bear whatever consequence came about#of course an adult could understand that the uchiha needed to right their position of inequity in the leaf#but itachi as a literal child and a child of war could not hold those stakes in his mind and think of anything but disaster#an inevitable war that would be his fault#he couldn't think of anything more awful than that even murdering every member of his clan and his own family#ANYWAY#what im trying to say is I think he would grow up as a rogue ninja and realize how fucked up and unfair it was that he was put up to that#and how he was groomed by a bunch of adults to be a killing machine just bc he happened to be an excellent shinobi#in this case#kakashi is the unfortunate object of his wrath#a very good representation of everything he was a victim of as far as itachi knows him#his superior in the anbu and someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha whether or not he knew what would happen to them#an indifferent bystander. one more person who didn't help itachi (kakashi probably would've had he had the whole picture)
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
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