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I Will Reign King at Sea
FINALLY, I have started posting the pirate Gerame fic I’ve been working on (research) for almost a year now! I’m really excited that I’ve finally gotten to start actually writing it, hopefully y’all like it too ^u^
Ao3 link here (with more tags), or you can read ch1 under the cut.
Thank you to my friend Lauri for helping with some of the translations <3
RE: historical inaccuracies, I am trying my best but also changing some things on purpose cause its fiction and I like the story better that way. I will try to add notes clarifying whenever I write something in a way I know is historically inaccurate. I’m also not a sailor, the boat terms are what I’ve picked up online. If you suddenly find yourself needing to sail a two or three masted ship, do not use this as a guide.
Chapter 1: Heimweh (Pt 1)
4,467 words
Coming to London had been a mistake.
It’s the first coherent thought Ludwig has as he’s coming back to consciousness, head pounding, still feeling like the Earth was swaying beneath him. They really went overboard last night. He can’t remember having a hangover this bad in years.
Why did I go along with Gilbert like that?
His brother had taught him to never turn down a free drink though, and the man had been pleasant enough company, even with Ludwig having to translate back and forth for everyone. He’d said he was a sailor, celebrating his last night on land before heading out across the Atlantic the next day.
Maybe it wasn’t London that was the mistake then. Maybe it was just going out drinking with Gilbert in London.
Too tired and in pain to open his eyes just yet, he runs through a checklist of his other senses first. Taste: bile, his mouth is dry, his throat is sore. Gilbert would say that’s the fault of subpar English beer. Touch: his clothes are damp, what he would expect after waking up on the side of the road or in an alleyway after the morning fog has rolled in. If he’s lucky it's only that, puddles and fog and maybe some beer, rather than something worse. He’d gone out in one of his nicest waistcoats after all. Sound: people are yelling, moving things all around him, creaking wood and the sound of water. He was probably still close to the river then, at least. He could find his way home with the river as a landmark. Smell: salt, just salt. It overpowered all the other smells he was expecting. He didn’t remember the Thames smelling like a salted herring had been shoved up his nose, but it was borderline painful.
And why can’t I feel the ground?
Something is wrong.
Slowly, Ludwig opens an eye. Instead of the sky he imagined, he is greeted by the sight of wood above him, dark and solid, coated with tar and keeping light out. The gaps between planks are sealed with a mixture of tar and rope.
It's to keep out water, his brain provides for him.
The ceiling moves, too. Or, no, that’s him. He’s the one moving. Whatever he’s lying on rocks slowly back and forth like a pendulum. A hammock. The kind they use on boats, so sailors don’t roll out of their beds in their sleep. Usually he might admire what an ingenious solution that is, except I’m not supposed to be on a boat right now why does it seem like I’m on a boat right now because I can’t be on a boat right now that’s not possible—
He sits up properly for the first time. Everything else is wood, too. The only light comes from open hatches in the ceiling and cutouts in the walls. Men are still rushing around, unaware of his mental crisis. They’re facial hair is neat (for now). Their clothes are plain but clean (for now). He can’t smell them through the salt crystals that have been growing in his nostrils while he was unconscious, but they look like they’d smell fine (for now).
Oh fuck, I’m on a boat.
Walking is harder than he imagined. Not only does the motion of the ship ruin his balance, but his shoes were also stolen. The wood under his feet is cold, and the tarred ceiling isn't foolproof. Every odd spot of slimy algae he steps in makes him cringe.
He wanders somewhat aimlessly, unsure where to go, or who to talk to. Though the ship is buzzing with activity, everyone else seems to have a task. It’s confusing. It's disorienting. None of the men pushing around barrels, taking stock of supplies, or turning in for their own break pay him any attention at all. He wants to find Gilbert, but he feels guilty thinking it, knowing how bad it would be if his brother were trapped here with him, especially when he doesn’t speak English.
For now, he settles on reaching the top deck. It feels like it could only have been a minute or two since he woke up here, and already he’s craving the feeling of the sun on his skin. He’s never thought of himself as claustrophobic before.
What a terrible time to learn something new about yourself.
The top deck has even more activity. Not only are people moving barrels around and counting supplies, but now there’s ropes involved too. The sky is blocked out by a spider web of hemp and canvas, sticky with tar just like the deck. The cold dampness of the wood is even worse up here. There’s no more protection from the sea spray or the wind, and they both cut through his clothes like a knife through soft butter. It makes him shiver in ways even the constant London rain hadn’t achieved. His eyes bounce back and forth: stairs, sails, ropes, wind, barrels, voices, boxes, rats, waves, people, salt, cannons. It’s a cacophony for all of his senses. The day feels cold despite the sun.
Somebody bumps into him, almost sending him tumbling back down the stairs. They barely spare him a glance as they disappear under the deck.
He squints against the sunlight, forcing himself to look beyond everything around him, but there’s nothing else to see. Just water. In every direction, all he can see is water, so bright reflecting the sun that it's painful to look at. Even his gaze is trapped on this ship.
“Ludwig!” he hears a familiar voice say behind him.
He turns to see his older brother watching him across the deck. He’s half guilty and half relieved. It was so nice to see something that made sense, someone familiar, his immediate instinct is to hug him and not let go until they reach land again. “Bruder,” he says as he quickly moves closer.
Gilbert doesn’t look to be in a hugging mood, however. His brow is lowered, his eyes dark and serious. His whole body was as taught as the rope he was pulling. His fists were clenched tightly, white(er) knuckles and all. It was the most upset Ludwig had seen him in a long time. He didn’t say anything else.
Ludwig reaches to loosen Gilbert’s grip. He takes hold of the rope, and wraps it around the first wooden peg he sees, uncaring what the rope or the peg are meant for. Then he takes hold of Gilbert’s hands. They’re blistered red and rubbed raw, despite all the calluses he’d developed in the military. The color stands out grotesquely on his pale skin. “Wie lange bist du hier?” Ludwig asks with concern. “Wie spät ist es?” He looks at the sky, as though the sun would tell him. In theory it could. There are people who know how to tell the time using the position of the sun and some fancy protractors. But he doesn’t have that skill. He’s never needed it before.
Gilbert remains silent. He notices now that Gilbert’s feet are also bare, like Ludwig’s, and he’s wearing the same loose white shirt and pants as the sailors around them, unlike Ludwig. Strange, he could’ve sworn last night Gilbert wore his—
“Sie haben meine Uniform geklaut," Gilbert chokes out, angry and miserable. One of the hands Ludwig is holding clenches into a tight fist.
Well, that explains things somewhat. Gilbert took a lot of pride in his uniform.
“Wer?” Ludwig asks.
“Ich weiß nicht,” Gilbert says with more visible anger this time. “Sie könnte geklaut worden sein bevor wir hierher geschleppt wurden oder danach. Sie könnte schon über Bord geworfen worden sein!” the thought makes Gilbert shudder, “Ich weiss nur, dass ich praktisch nackt aufgewacht bin und niemand mir sagen wollte, was Sie mit meiner Uniform gemacht haben!”
“Dann?”
Gilbert’s angry look focuses more firmly on Ludwig, and at the same time becomes a little softer, “Wie sieht es aus, Ludwig? Dann haben sie mich an die Arbeit gesetzt. Du bist Arzt, du bist schlauerer als das, Bruder.”
A slight smile reaches Ludwig’s face. Seeing his brother’s familiar defiant attitude brings him the first sense of warmth he’s felt since he woke up. “Medizinstudent meinst du,” he corrects out of habit.
He earns an exaggerated sigh in response. A gust of wind blows along with it. Behind them the rope unravels, and flies across the deck. There are shouts as one of the beams holding the sails twists suddenly around the mast, narrowly avoiding the mast behind it as it catches on other ropes which are probably important. A man is left dangling from the end of the beam.
Gilbert jumps back into action, grabbing the rope and holding it in place while Ludwig stands there in shock. An angry voice carries across the deck, “Who left the brace unsecured!?” Ludwig watches someone help the man hanging off the end of it climb back up. Gilbert turns towards him, mouth open to say something until he grimaces at something over Ludwig’s shoulder. That’s when the man from last night appears.
He storms towards them from the other end of the boat. The thumping of his leather boots on the deck announces his fury before he gets close. When he sees Ludwig’s face though, he suddenly smiles.
“Oh! You’re awake,” the man looks him up and down. “That's good! Would’ve been quite a waste if you’d died,” he jokes.
He looks a decade older than Ludwig, with a dark beard and hair made wavy by the salt in the air. His short blue jacket and mariner’s cuffs matched the color of the water and sky all around them. He had the cocked woolen hat typical of sailors. Absurdly, the shape suddenly reminds Ludwig of Apfelecke, and the stab of homesickness is sharp. A whole year living and studying in London, missing his home, and now he’s been dropped here, where the world is just salt water.
What do they even eat on boats? I don’t even know.
The man continues smiling jovially at Ludwig, holding out a hand to shake. Over his shoulder, Ludwig can see some other sailors pulling the dangling man back up. “I don’t remember what name I gave you last night, but you can call me Hal now.”
“You…don’t remember your own name?” Ludwig asks, thoroughly confused.
This question makes Hal laugh, but not in a kind way, “No, son, we go by many names in this line of work. It's a matter of…professionalism.” His mouth crinkles with a smile. Somehow he makes it seem predatory.
Ludwig makes a noise of acknowledgement, and intentionally glosses over how criminal that sounds. Whatever hope he had that this whole thing was a mistake is being tossed out the window. Or maybe tossed overboard, in this case.
He’d heard rumors of men being press-ganged for naval service, but none of the men here were wearing navy uniforms, and he couldn’t imagine what they’d want with him and his brother. There were so many disadvantages to this plan. It was obvious in the way Hal glanced past Ludwig and sneered when he saw Gilbert there pretending he knew how to secure the same rope he’d been holding earlier. He was looping it around itself in a facsimile of knot tying, all the while trying to hold it steady against the wind manually.
“If I may ask,” Ludwig glances again at Hal’s fine clothes, “sir, I’m afraid I don’t remember much of last night, how did my brother and I end up here exactly?”
Hal strokes his beard carefully, “Right, well, you’d have to talk to the Captain ‘bout that.” He points to the back of the boat, where there’s a set of doors leading inside the raised portion the wheel stands on.”He’ll be in his quarters, but you can go right in,” Hal smiles at Ludwig again. At least it feels less like he wants to eat him this time, “You have an important job here you know, ehm,...”
There’s a pause. “....Ludwig?” Ludwig says.
“Right! Ludwig. I knew that,” Hal claps a hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle shove towards the captain’s quarters. It's very hard for Ludwig to hold back a snort of derision. Instead he looks over at his brother, still fake tying that rope and fake pretending he’s not listening to their conversation. Ludwig knows Gilbert isn’t listening, but that’s not because he can’t hear them. He considers relaying the conversation, the situation, his suspicions to Gil, but Hal pushes him towards the other end of the boat, and he settles for eye contact and a confident nod. Gilbert frowns, but he nods back anyway, trusting his brother. Ludwig smiles softly. Whatever might happen to him, his brother will struggle even more with a language barrier here. Gilbert's relying on him to fix this for the both of them.
I’ve never failed him before, I don’t intend to now.
He trips over a coil of rope on the way over.
Hal and Gilbert watch his back as he walks. Hal turns away first, glaring at the way the pale-haired man stands there fiddling with the same damn rope. “Alright lad, I don’t know if you’re dumb or what, but frankly I don’t really care. All I need you to do is your damn job. We’re already sailing close-hauled to the wind, any more cock ups like that and it’ll start to cost us time, and that will cost us money.” He yanks the rope away and wacks the man in the legs with the end to make sure he’s paying attention. As slowly as he can possibly go, he demonstrates the proper way to tie it. “This. Is. A. Cleat. Hitch. Got it?” he enunciates, pointing firmly.
The other man’s face screws up in a sneer, “Ihre Mutter fickt Esel.”
Hal just sneers back at him, confused and annoyed that they got stuck bringing the village idiot along when he refused to leave the other man’s side last night, even after he got so drunk he could hardly stand.
If anything, Hal’s visible incomprehension makes the idiot angrier.
“Just go help them haul the yard up the main mast,” Hal gestures towards another group of men amidships.
As Ludwig stumbles his way to the captain’s quarters he reviews his scant knowledge of sailing, anything he ever picked up by chance. The forward motion of a ship relies on the wind. The big logs holding all the sails were called masts. Ships could navigate using stars. But other than that, his knowledge mostly relates to illnesses. They’d had a ship of sailors riddled with scurvy come into the college for a demonstration once. Ludwig had vivid memories of the physical exams they’d practiced, but that had no relevance to actual sailing.
Ludwig stops for a moment to take in the ornate mahogany door, complete with a brass door knocker in the shape of a lion. He bypasses this in favor of a straightforward knock with his hand.
The first thing he notices in the room is the small chandelier. The metal chain squeaks more than it doesn’t as it sways endlessly with the motion of the boat and the water. He’s drawn to the flames as they swing away and towards and away again from the wooden ceiling. Hot wax threatens to drip down onto the floor rather than the trays under the candle. He can already see several spots of hardened wax on the carpet. He’s forced to walk into the room at an angle to avoid any hot wax falling on him next. It all seems needlessly dangerous, especially in the room with the ship's most important assets.
On either side of him are heavy wooden desks covered in maps. Star charts, compasses, and miniature globes crowd out more mahogany, this time with a mother of pearl inlay. The Persian carpet under his bare feet is somehow equally uncomfortable as the cold, unyielding wood up till that point.
A third desk stands across from the door. Behind it sits a man with even more gray in his beard and an even bigger hat than Hal had. His skin is so pale it seems like he hardly leaves this room. He puffs on a long black pipe as he watches Ludwig approach. Behind him is a painting of a ship caught in a storm caught in a golden frame. It makes Ludwig wince.
He coughs a little, as the smoke replaces the fresh air in his lungs. The man watches him in silence. “You are the Captain, correct?” Ludwig asks.
The man grins at him, and reaches out a hand to shake, suddenly as genial as Hal had been. His voice is gravely, and not very forceful “Captain Nicholls, and you?”
“Pleasure to meet you Captain Nicholls,” he replies mechanically,” my name is Ludwig.”
The Captain raises a curious eyebrow, “Well then, Ludwig, what can I do for you?”
A bit of the tension leaves Ludwig’s shoulders. Whatever confrontation he’d been expecting, this isn’t it. “I’m afraid my brother and I were brought onto your ship by mistake,” Ludwig leaves out the part about how drunk they both must have been.
His relief doesn’t last very long. Captain Nicholls belly laughs at Ludwig’s statement, throwing his whole body back and making the chair creak in harmony with the chandelier. Ludwig fights the urge to tense back up. What was so amusing about his statement?
Relax. Even if they meant to do this, normal people don’t kidnap other people for no reason, and there’s no good reason for them to kidnap you or Gilbert. You have plenty of arguments in your favor still.
The laughter sends the Captain into a coughing fit. The wet, hacking cough tugs at Ludwig’s brain. It reminds him of other people they had examined in school. The ones that had growths in their lungs at autopsy. When Captain Nicholls finally regains control of himself, the expression he fixes on Ludwig is disdainful. “With all due respect, lad,” the word makes Ludwig frown, “I wouldn’t have let you and your drunken hooligan friend stay on my ship if it was a mistake.”
This only makes Ludwig frown harder. “So, you meant to kidnap us?” he asks for clarity.
The Captain waves a dismissive hand, “You make it sound so sinister when you say ‘kidnapping’. We prefer 'press-ganging’’ in the business.”
“The business of kidnapping?”
“‘Press-ganging,’” Nicholls insists. He puffs again on his pipe in a way Ludwig can only describe as ‘smug’.
Ludwig’s fists are clenched. He takes a breath and forces himself to relax again. It only partially works. “So, the business of ‘press-ganging’ then?” he forces out of his gritted teeth.
The Captain shakes his head, “Oh no, the business of sailing, lad.” Ludwig hears something in his jaw pop. Whatever it is, if his medical studies have taught him anything, it’s not supposed to be doing that.
He forces himself to breathe deeply for a moment, to calm down enough to present his case. He straightens his shoulders, attempting to dredge up his composure and dignity in the wreck of some of his finest clothes and bare feet, “Alright, sailing then. Whatever the case is, you’ve made a poor decision bringing my brother and I along. There are some things you should know.”
“Oh?” the Captain raises an eyebrow again.
“First, my brother does not speak English. He’s hardly of any use to you if he can’t understand orders. Second, neither of us has experience in labor jobs like this,” he leaves out Gilbert’s experience in the military, not to mention surgery wasn’t exactly easy, “I was studying medicine when you brought me here, neither of us has any knowledge of ropes or knots or anything. I had never even seen the ocean before moving to London. Neither of us even knows how to swim!”
His voice grows more confident as he speaks, and the Captain nods along, seemingly thoughtful. When he’s done, chest heaving in rhythm with the rocking of the boat, the Captain smiles at him again. “That was a nice speech,” the condescension practically drips from his tongue.
They stare at each other for a moment, Captain Nicholls waiting for reality to settle on Ludwig’s shoulders. Each second the weight gets heavier. Ludwig’s frown deepens.
Deep breaths. Ludwig closes his eyes, “If this wasn’t an accident,” calm, “and you don’t believe me when I explain how useless we are to you,” Ludwig’s cold blue eyes settle on Captain Nicholls again, “what do you want with us then?”
The Captain leans in closer, “Glad you asked!” He grins, showing off his tobacco stained teeth.
“You see,” as he speaks he fiddles with a cane leaning against the desk, “I know you don’t have any skill at sailing. That’s fine. That’s not why we brought you here. You have other skills that are even more valuable on a voyage like this, especially since the doctor I usually hire has passed, god bless his soul.”
He grasps desperately at the last loose thread, “What do you mean ‘doctor’? I’m not a doctor. I’m still just a student, you cannot seriously expect me to act as the ship’s doctor.”
The only response is an eyeroll, “Well I definitely didn’t bring you here because you’re a musical prodigy, lad. You look like a practical guy. Think about it. My ship needs a doctor, but we couldn’t find one in time. Until my first mate ran into you at a pub the night before we set off. Real unfortunate you become so gullible after an extra drink or two, but that’s not my fault.”
The Captain’s demeanor is relaxed and self-assured. Completely and one hundred percent content with the fact of Ludwig being trapped. Convinced absolutely of his security in this situation. Ludwig can do nothing as Captain Nicholls leans back in his chair, and hammers in the final nail, “You’re not going anywhere, lad.”
Ludwig steps back, forgetting the room around him as the feeling of helplessness grows. Unaware, he stumbles underneath the chandelier. A drop of hot wax hits his ear, but the feeling barely registers in his mind. Where the burning warmth hits his skin, he sinks into an icy resignation.
“Oh don’t look so down, it's not all bad,” the man continues, “the ship’s doctor is a very important position. You’ll be exempted from a lot of the grunt work around here. You even get your own cabin. Most of the other crew don’t have luxuries like that.”
“What about my brother?” a second drop of wax hits his foot, “He’s still not of use to you. He deserves to be let go,” another spike of heat hits his arm. His fists clench. It’s his last bargaining chip, but if it means his brother doesn’t have to go through this, then it's worth it.
“I’ll stay willingly if you agree to take my brother back.”
The Captain plants his cane firmly on the wooden floor, groaning as he stands up from his chair. A bit of tobacco spills out of the pipe still clenched in his right hand as he leans against the desk to regain his balance. Ludwig briefly contemplates offering him his arm for support. But only briefly.
Thump thump thump he makes his way around the desk until the sound of his cane is muffled by the carpet. There is nothing physically between them now.
Up close, he can see the wrinkles set deep in the man’s face. There are liver spots peppering his cheeks and neck. His eyes are even lighter than Ludwig’s, so washed out and pale they look silver, and he’s almost two heads shorter than the blond. He reminds Ludwig of a Moorente. The ones he and his brother used to hunt in Hagenburg.
“Perhaps you are right,” it sounds like the Captain is about to agree with him, but at this point Ludwig knows to stay on guard. “Your brother really is pretty useless to me, huh?” he jokes.
Ludwig fights hard to keep a neutral face.
“But you should think carefully about what you’re asking of me, lad,” his eyes are as cold and cruel as sharpened steel. He speaks slowly, “It's not of any use to me to return him to London either. We’ve been underway for half a day already, I won’t turn the ship around just for you two.”
Ludwig frowns openly now. “I won’t make this easy for you. You want me to treat your men, but I don’t have to. You can hold me here, but if you don’t let my brother go, there’s nothing you can force me to do for you,” his voice is firm.
All he gets is a smile. The warm light of the candles reflects a harsh contrast in the Captain’s eyes. “You forget that I’m Captain on this ship. I give the orders here. It’s your job to follow them. Maybe you’re valuable enough to get away with disobeying, but you’ve already acknowledged yourself that your brother is not, and if he’s really as useless as you say, why should I keep an extra mouth to feed from my scarce holds when there are plenty of hungry fish he could serve better?”
He, no, he couldn’t — all the air leaves Ludwig’s lungs in a rush. He’s never been punched so hard before.
He could, he would, he thinks despairingly.
And who would ever even know out here? Who would ever even believe me?
A sickening grin stretches across the Captain’s face. Ludwig isn’t known for emoting, but given the right circumstances even his thoughts can be easy to read, and the Captain is clearly entertained by it.
The threat hangs heavy in the air between them, as they stand suspended above water, as the water is held up by the Earth. It is an immutable fact of the universe that Ludwig loves his brother, and so there is nothing else he can say. There is nothing he can do but concede. This battle isn’t worth winning at that cost. It never would be.
“I…” the resignation chokes him. He swallows, “I understand.”
“Is that any way to address your Captain, Ludwig?” he can see the man’s stained teeth again.
The Captain wants him to feel the humiliation in every possible way.
Ludwig spitefully lifts his chin instead. “I understand, sir,” he says, but he makes sure to look down at Captain Nicholls as much as possible. He thinks Gilbert would be proud.
As he storms out of the room, he takes pleasure in the drops of hot wax he watched fall on the Captain’s own silk waistcoat and trousers.
I hope they burn.
~Historical Notes~ *while medical schools did exist at the time, its actually much more likely Ludwig would have been trained through an apprenticeship with a doctor instead. Going to a special school wasn’t really required, and you could also start much younger.
*You were more likely to be press-ganged by the navy, but it wasn't unheard of for merchant vessels or even pirates (foreshadowing) to do this, especially when it came to valuable jobs. Surgeons and carpenters (who acted as surgeons if the ship didn't have an actual surgeon) were some of the most important people in a crew.
~Translations~
L - "Wie lange bist du hier?" -> How long have you been here?
L- "Wie spät ist es?" -> What time is it?
G- "Sie haben meine Uniform geklaut" -> They stole my uniform
L- "Wer?" -> Who?
G- "Ich weiß nicht. Sie könnte geklaut worden sein bevor wir hierher geschleppt wurden oder danach. Sie könnte schon über Bord geworfen worden sein! Ich weiss nur, dass ich praktisch nackt aufgewacht bin und niemand mir sagen wollte, was Sie mit meiner Uniform gemacht haben!” -> I don't know. It could have been stolen before or after we were dragged here. It could've been tossed overboard already! All I know is, I woke up practically naked and nobody would tell me what they did with my clothes!"
L- "Dann?" -> Then?
G- "Wie sieht es aus, Ludwig? Dann haben sie mich an die Arbeit gesetzt. Du bist Arzt, du bist schlauerer als das, Bruder.” -> What does it look like, Ludwig? Then they put me to work. You're a doctor, you are smarter than that, brother.
L- "Medizinstudent meinst du" -> Medical student, you mean
and lastly G- "Ihre Mutter fickt Esel" -> Your mother fucks donkeys
Thanks for reading C:
#gerame#hws germany#hws prussia#hetalia fanfiction#my writing#I'm gonna get better at writing action I swear#Alfred should show up in the next chapter#tw: kidnapping#sorta#not really but also definitely#its finally happeniiiiiing#tw murder threats#if you remember awhile ago I had that poll about dialogue in other languages#in hetalia fics#well that was for this#hopefully its not too difficult to tell what's going on since I left Lud's thoughts in english
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Concept: Peter actually got bitten by a totally normal spider. It's just a coincidence that his mutant powers were awakened around the same time
#peter: 'i got bitten by a radioactive spider'#the xmen: '.....what the FUCK are you talking about'#my posts#marvel#spiderman#xmen#he gets targeted by sentinels and is just ?? very confused ???#i also cant stop thinking about how everyone else not in the know definitely thinks spiderman is a mutant too#it really explains why he gets so much hate#its not just because ppl hate vigilantes- its anti mutant sentiment#ALSO they make a big deal of him not letting anyone know hes got powers bc theyll figure out his identity#when really theyd first just assume he was a mutant#which could ruin his life in a very different way
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Percy “Has Been Waiting to Use This Meme as an Excuse” Jackson, and Annabeth “Never Seen a Meme” Chase
#this has probably been done before but#i enjoyed making this silly thing this morning#also is annabeth aware of memes in the show???? annabeth how will you bond with Percy#he definitely has a hyper detailed Minecraft world#anyway#pjo series#pjo tv show#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#fanart#pjo comic#my art#I’ve been really enjoying the show!! i need to reread there’s so much I’ve forgotten
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Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."
Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.
These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!
Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!
Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.
So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.
#obligatory disclaimer that this really really obviously is not universal#I do live in a major progressive city#there's definitely a level of a liberal bubble effect here#but it's still really powerful to see it#because even in a major liberal enclave there were so many limits on the gender roles and homophobia etc. etc. fronts#and also the limits of the oppressive weight of obligatory teen apathy lol#seriously go gen z. so glad you guys decided cringe is dead. I love you for that so much#and I love it for you#not news#life#hope#homophobia#sexism#teens#teenagers#progress#gen z#btw if it wasn't clear I'm a#millennial#plush toy#plushie#squishmallows#build a bear#stuffed animal#like the idea of almost any teenager much less teenage boys#saying IN FRONT OF THEIR PEERS#that they are excited about their STUFFED ANIMALS#when I was a teenager#?????#cannot imagine that ever happening.
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I’m actually LOVING how Rick Riordan, and the other writers of the show, took his initial concept of a Percabeth rivalry fueled by that of their parents and kind of turned it on its head?
Now, instead of Annabeth being wary of Percy because he’s a son of Poseidon, he’s wary of her because she made a callous impression on him. They get off to a rocky start even before finding out who Percy’s father is, and when they finally do, Annabeth doesn’t care. Instead of them fighting because of who their parents are, they’re fighting over their own opposed worldviews.
Then, instead of them arguing over which of the gods is cooler and who was right in the story of Medusa, they realize that, just like Medusa, Annabeth is a victim of her mother and that, unlike Medusa, she is a far kinder and stronger person, unwilling to repeat the cycle of hurt. They realize that, like his father, Percy often acts without considering potential consequences and that, unlike his father, he is a far kinder and stronger person, willing to step up for someone he wronged and whom he cares about.
Instead of Percy and Annabeth’s rivalry being focused on that of their parents, it’s focused on who they are, themselves. But the path to friendship is still the same: a realization that they have each other’s backs, no matter what, because they’re not their parents after all.
#i kind of typed this in my essay voice because I knew it would be long so ignore that#also I don’t actually know which of the other writers are playing big parts in percabeth’s story so threats why I put a focus on Riordan#that’s*#aaaaanyhoo if I’m being honest I definitely prefer this version of percabeth#AND I like that Medusa said ‘‘we are not our parents until we choose to be. you three have chosen’’ implying that she thinks they’ve chosen#to be their parents only for Percy to reveal in the next episode that he’s chosen to be better than his father.#that was a really nice touch 👌👌👌#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#pjo disney+#percy jackson disney+#percy jackson#annabeth chase#Percabeth#rick riordan#Medusa#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#pjo tv spoilers
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IDK what William Afton expected to happen in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#william afton#funtime freddy#fnaf 4#fnaf sister location#evan afton#elizabeth afton#cc fnaf#fnaf fanart#THIS comic is unserious#BUT ALSO GENUINELY I’m not sure what William thought was gonna happen#he made robots that specifically target kids#and was shocked when it attacked his kids#LIKE Michaels eventually scooping was definitely on purpose#but the other two were oopies 💀#TBH the fact that William Afton isn’t the perfect killer#and he makes pretty bad mistakes throughout is actually really good#I think it’s far more interesting then if he was super perfect#but it’s still fun to poke fun at#Michael truly is done with his father though#Michael inherits Williams dumb as hellness
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Man whose definition of "monster" is extremely flexible.
#my art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#wyll ravengard#shadowheart#astarion ancunin#chessa#owlbear cub#fan art#first real post on this one instead of petitelappin#i drew these a while ago but never cleaned them up properly#i was mostly thinking about this as a concept when i (as wyll) released 7000 vampires into the city sewers and i was like#'we may have at some point stopped fitting the definition of monster hunter huh'#but also u know seeing the gur hunter later vowing to do what he can for his vampire daughters really got to wyll#thematically. im sure. anyway!#but lbr his crowning achievement in my playthrough was monster hunting so bad he ended up in a beautiful romance w his target instead
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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❄️☃️The SDV Girlies in their winter garb!☃️❄️
One side how i interpreted their lil avatars and then the other side is just me playing dress up lmao.
“Bois when?” Dunno. 🤷🏽♀️ I will if anyone donates screenshots.
#stardew valley#stardew valley 1.6#stardew valley winter#stardew valley maru#stardew valley haley#stardew valley penny#stardew valley leah#stardew valley emily#stardew valley abigail#sdv maru#sdv haley#sdv penny#sdv leah#sdv emily#sdv abigail#i was sweating drawing this#the ph is having a fucking heatwave at 40*C / 104*C#and i’m not even living in the city where its definitely worse!!!#my pinterest algorithm probably thinks i’m insane for searching up winter outfits#penny looking lightly dressed for winter in her 2nd lewk but she’s dressed in several layers in dresses and skirts#i just wanted to show a lil bit of the layered neckline#ngl my fave lewk has to be emily!#she probably made her whole ensamble from scratch#abgail probably goes around lightly dressed#‘cold never bothered her anyway’ -elsa#haley going from cocnut girl to cold girl aesthetic#also i based maru’s outfit in this really cool chinese obre puffer jacket + 90s pastel tracksuit#with leah… what can i say gay in primary colors#thank you to henarikat for sending me a screenshot of their avatars!!!!!!#and also for being a beta for Haley and Penny’s looks hahaha
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Yarrow and Feverfew
Art trade with the incredible @liscepu, I'm so grateful for the chance! Thank you for fueling my love for the game again <3
#arthur morgan#red dead redemption#rdr2#rdr fanart#flowers#portrait#illustration#Also#since gathering and crafting from plants is one of my fav things in open world games I've been really enjoying drawing game characters with#like I've done with Geralt or Pathologic before - I will be definitely doing that more in the future! <3#This also reminded me I still need to return to platinum-ing RDR2...#...These damn 70 golden medals tho#I have no idea how I'll do it 💀
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your pearl is one of my favorite designs for her i’ve ever seen <3 her face shape feels so right, and i love how you draw her hair. by way of a request, have you ever drawn her as an avian?
thank you so much! pearl's design is definitely my favorite to draw :')
ive done a bit of practice with pearl and grian as avians but that was way before i started posting hc publicly! ( these ones are new :D )
also played around with an alternate version! i dont know much about birds but i saw the australian barn owl and took more inspo from them
#pearlescentmoon#i also drew pearl with her head tilted all the way like how owls do but it ended up a bit freakier than i expected heh#me barely dipping my toes into more crechur designs... im too scared to try#eydireqs#asks#hc#my art#pearl was THE first hermit i ever drew (cleaning lady pearl and suit pearl)#she's always looked like this to me in my head#although in my earlier sketches she had curlier hair in the front that slowly phased out to the swoopy ones she has now#anyway this was really fun to do!!! i definitely need to do more studies on how wings work but :DD#learning many a things over here
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"D-Don't worry about me! Focus on helping the little one, okay?" 🌠 panel redraw of @laikascomet
#laikas comet#laika's comet#laika bones#yue bones#(? i dug a lil bit but if that's not his last name im a silly goose!!)#panel redraw#animation#gif#animated comic panel#lc laika#lc yue#original art by willow woods / fourleaf / fourleafisland / the original author!!#i made this a little after this page came out and then didnt post it because i kept waiting to add the book lol#i will say it every time if you havent read laikas comet you should read laikas comet#definitely one of my all time faves#also this is a really compressed gif (tumblr quality is cruel) but i might rb this with the mp4 version#doing the border effects in after effects was so much fun i wanna try something composition intensive again but with davinci resolve#animation done in flipaclip and background in procreate :]#okay bye ily have a good day!
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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he would not have made it through the first day tbh
#please don't take this too seriously i swear i'm not simply viewing the hashtag deep political rpg through a shipping lense#disco elysium#also i'm really stretching the definition of bear here😭#resi.txt
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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He’s beauty and he’s grace ✨
#helluva boss#blitz#blitzo#they really make him face plant so often and i love that for him#its why he is the main character#fun game- can you name the episode each of these are from?#also you see that arch in some of those? face down ass up? yeah definitely not just a top
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