#not real just my brain being stupid
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dont-offend-the-bees · 3 months ago
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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moongothic · 1 year ago
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Yeah hello hi I've been falling deep into the Crocodad Rabbithole and my brain is being consumed by small crocodile-shaped worms
So I've done what any reasonable person would do, I went back to rewatch some scenes from Alabasta and Marinford to psychoanalyze Crocodile and try to figure out what the fuck his deal is because genuinely the more I think about it the more questions I have and the more I want answers. And because I'm deranged I need to write all my thoughts down into an incoherent essay and release it into the world
So please, come along with me while and let's be Extremely Normal About Sir Crocodile Together and speculate about his ~Secret Past~
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Quick note, my quickest access to some of these episodes is either through unsubbed episodes (not bothering with getting screenshots since there's no subs, also my Japanese is plenty good enough to not need it here) or through Ancient, Questionable Fansubs so don't get too hung up on the phrasing in the subbed screenshots- like they're not entirely inaccurate but y'know
The reason I want to do this is just that... Like I've been a fan of OP since 2008, when I was in middle school. I don't think I ever really tried to think deeper about this series in general at that time, because I was a kid. For a long time to me Crocodile had just been Some Greedy Asshole who tried to take over a country to obtain a tool of mass destruction and IDK destroy the world? Just a very classic Bad Guy McVillianMan, because I had not bothered to think about his character and question anything before.
But now I have brainworms due to the Crocodad Theory, and this is fucking One Piece, you never fucking know how deep a rabbithole can go with this bloody series. So let's go, let's try to figure out what the fuck is Crocodile's deal, because I need to get these brainworms out of my fucking system
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I just want to start with this one quick throw-away line because it's kind of a sidenote. Also like. This is such a funny fucking thing for Crocodile to say if he is Luffy's dad. Like.
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That's so fucking funny if he's Luffy's dad holy shit
But what really gets me here is that like... Like while I'm like 70% sure Crocodile is trans, there's still a part of me that's like "there's no fucking way Crocodad is real". Let alone, this be some kind of a hint Oda planted to suggest that this early on. Like it sounds absurd. And yet at this point in One Piece, Oda had already started planning out and laying out the groundwork for so many lore and plot-relevant concepts, ranging from shit like everything about Robin, the Poneglyphs, the Ancient Weapons etc. He had already started the "Prince Sanji ARG" (aka dropping the tiniest fucking hints to Sanji's Hidden Backstory that people were able to pick up on and make accurate predictions with about Sanji's backstory). There's fucking Laboon, and about a bajillion other things. And possibly most importantly, by this point Oda had already revealed both Luffy's father and grandfather to the readers, not to mention he even introduced Ace and vaguely hinted at Sabo! It's not like Oda had everything perfectly planned out from the very begining, that is objectively not the case at all. But it also literally would not be unlike Oda to drop hints to a character's backstory like this. He has been doing that for years, and had already started by the time we met Crocodile. Like it feels insane and yet it's perfectly plausible. And if he had Luffy's dad, grandfather and two siblings planned out in his head already at this point, it should not be that much of a stretch to believe that Oda knows and no doubt has known for the past two decades who Luffy's mom is (regardless of if that's Crocodile or not)
All this to say. Crocodile's comment about what Cobra said to Vivi when they reunited is a funny, sarcastic comment. But it would take a whole new meaning if Crocodad was real. Because it really would be perfectly normal if he did/had wondered what he would say to his long lost child if they were ever reunited. And really that just makes his roast turn sad.
Anyways
In Alabasta, we do get a very clear image that Crocodile does not like the World Government, not just because he's a Big Meanie Pirate who wants to conquer the world, but because he does seem to look down on how the Marines + World Government do their "justice" (which, y'know, knowing what we know now about the Government. Fair. That's entirely fair.)
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He also dislikes Vivi's "idealism" of wanting to save everyone without bloodshed or anyone losing their lives (especially for her sake)
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We learn that he is a broken man with broken dreams. Also he seems to be aware where he (supposedy) belongs in the Grand Line's power hierarchy, as in, he needs Pluton because he knows he's not strong enough in combat that he could take down anyone, let alone the World Government by himself (though he would still make a beeline for Whitebeard's head the second he saw him at Marinford, which, y'know, bold move)
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And of course, we learn in Impel Down that Crocodile and Iva-chan have some beef. We can not say for 100% sure what that beef is (like the theory he's trans is very obvious and plausible, but until Oda spills the beans we won't know for a fact what the beef is), but we know that they knew each other. And if Crocodile knew Iva-chan, a high-ranking founding member of the Revolutionary Army, then it is genuinely plausible that Crocodile could also have known Dragon and/or been a member of the Revolutionary Army as well.
Since overthrowing the World Nobles and the Government are the Revolutionary Army's goal, the fact that they're trying to obtain weapons and people for their cause etc, Crocodile's view of the Government and his "Operation Utopia" does kind of align with the Revolutionary Army's
But we did also learn from Iva that "Crocoboy" isn't quite trustworthy. Needless to say, even if Croc used to be a part of the Army, he most certainly left YEARS ago, and clearly not on good terms.
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Also, an interesting note, is that at Marineford when Luffy and co finally arrive at the battlefield (episode 466, 17:25 minutes in), when Garp spots the group, he makes a specific comment about Crocodile being there together with the revolutionaries and the prison escapees, believing they can't all be here to fight for the same cause. Which is an interesting thing for him to point out specifically. Like Jinbei was another powerful person who entered that battlefield at the same time, and while Jinbei did clarify to Sengoku that he's quitting being a Shichibukai and was there to save Ace, it's still maybe a little odd Garp didn't think it was worth mentioning that Jinbei had also "allied" with the prison escapees and the revolutionaries to enter the battlefield. Like it was Crocodile only whom he thought needed to be pointed out. I don't think Garp's comment adds at all to Crocodad because it would frankly make little to no sense (like we're all assuming Crocodile didn't know Dragon's lastname, which is why he never realized Luffy was his son (despite knowing Luffy's lastname), but if Crocodile knew Garp was Dragon's father then surely he'd realize Dragon's lastname would be Monkey, right), but it could maybe add to the idea that Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army in the past, as Garp could be aware of something like that, thus he'd be puzzled by Crocodile's presencee. Point is, it's an interesting comment, make of it what you will
EDIT 2: Ended up going back to reread parts of Marineford and turns out ^that^ was an anime-only addition from Toei. Like Garp does make a comment about how these people probs aren't at the battlefield for the same reasons but did not specifically point out Crocodile or anything. So. I wasted enough time adding these paragraphs to the post, I ain't deleting 'em. But y'know.
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EDIT: Minor addition, because I just remembered how Crocodile really went like out of his way to taunt Vivi about how she "can't stop the rebellion" and save her people. Which, y'know, is a perfectly normal Villian Thing To Do. But we know Crocodile does not think fondly of the World Nobles just like he dislikes the Government. Even if Cobra was a "good monarch" who genuinely cared for his people, he was still a king, and the Nefertari family and the Kingdom of Alabasta were a part of the World Government. The thing Crocodile specifically wanted to destroy. And this is just another one of those "surely that wasn't somekinda foreshadowing" but god fucking dammit what if Crocodile telling a(n unknowing) representative of the World Government that she can't stop "the rebellion", or the revolution if I may, (regardless of if he's allied with them or not) was actually meant to be like foreshadowing. Oda I swear to fucking god---
Anyway, so, Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army at one point (the army was formed after the Ohara Incident 22 years ago, and for Crocodad Theorizing, Luffy was born 19 years ago), but if he did he must have left on bad terms for unknown reasons, and we can tell that although his goals in general could vaguely match that of the Revolutionaries, his methods most certainly don't.
Whether or not his methods and his worldview tie to his leaving the Army is unknown. Because we don't really know when and how his worldview was formed.
Like did Crocodile leave the Army because he became a cynical asshole who was willing to make any kind of sacrifice for his goals (thus he no longer fit in with the rest of the Revolutionary Army), realized he was far too weak to ever become Pirate King and thus decided to go looking for Pluton? Or did Crocodile suggest to the Army they should try to obtain an Ancient Weapon to keep casulties to a minimum (still in line with the Army), only ending up getting kicked out (big weapon bad), and soon realizing he had no chance at making a change in the world without "cracking a few eggs"?
Like it doesn't nececarily make a massive difference,, since the end result is still the same, but it does kind of affect the context and how one might view him, right
Of course, there's then the Forbidden Third Option, that Crocodile left due to
Gender issues (internalized shame of being trans and not having it in him to stay around people who had known him)
Postpartum depression
Dragon just divorced Crocodile either due to being straight (in a sad, accepting way) or due to being simply unaccepting and frankly homophobic, regardless, Crocodile leaves with a broken heart
Something else and/or a combo of the above, really, we could speculate endlessly here about what could've happened
(Though I will say that Crocodile's '"trust issues"' and how he views people as disposable could like. I dunno. Be explained if he had gone through some heartbreak and was left permanently unable to open up to people, let alone trust anyone)
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I dunno, there's a lot of options, a lot of things to considder.
But there is one more thing that I do want to note on as it could potentially debunk the Crocodad Theory entirely.
It's that Iva-chan didn't know Dragon had a son.
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(Episode 441, 9:50 minutes) By which I mean, Iva-chan wasn't shocked to find out Luffy was Dragon's son, rather, they were shocked there was a son to begin with. (To the point they thought Ace was also Dragon's son until Luffy cleared it up for them later) While it's not a massive leap to believe that Crocodile and Dragon knew each other (since Crocodile knew Iva-chan), nor is it a massive leap to believe that Iva-chan transed Crocodile's gender after having Luffy... It does become a bit of a leap to believe Iva-chan didn't know about Dragon having a child with Crocodile before giving Croc the Magic HRT. Like if they had a relationship that resulted in a baby and a divorce, how did Iva not know about any of it, especially when it's more than likely that Iva could not have transitioned Crocodile until after the baby was born (let's not think about how Iva-chan's powers would work on a pregnant person too much)
We do also get this flashback (in episode 441, immidiately after Luffy reveals his dad's identity to Iva) where Iva-chan questions Dragon about how he always stares out towards East Blue when the wind blows, wondering if Dragon has family out there whom he's thinking about (Dragon refusing to comment on it). This does very much confirm that regardless of who Dragon had Luffy with, Iva has no fucking clue who, where and how any of that happened. And althought I personally feel like Iva not knowing would debunk Crocodad, if Crocodile still somehow was Luffy's dad, Iva-chan would canonically not know about it. If Iva didn't know Dragon had a relationship that resulted in a baby, then regardless of if Iva even knew Crocodile got pregnant once, they would not be able to connect those dots.
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Now let's be clear, there's many potential scenarios where Crocodad could still be real, scenarios that could explain why and how Iva-chan didn't know about Luffy nor about Dragon and Crocodile having a relationship*. Like it would not be difficult at all to come up with an explanation for it. But in my mind, I feel like the more you have to figure out and explain how the theory could still be plausible, the less plausible it actually feels. Like the more I need to go out of my way to explain it, the more forced it seems.
*(For example, maybe the two kept their relationship a secret, and when Crocodile got pregnant he """left on a mission""" that happened to take like 4-10 months, during the time realizing he was trans. Once the baby had arrived he returned the baby to Dragon in secret for him to deal with, got a divorce for one reason or another*, and sought out Iva-chan to start a new life, Iva thus never found out about anything, just knew that Crocodile left one day after coming out. Like that's one plausible scenario.)
*Hey remember the potential Forbidden Reasons to why Crocodile might've left the Army? What if it was Dragon's and/or Crocodile's idea? Remember how when Jinbei is trying to escape Marinford with the unconcious Luffy, Crocodile tells Jinbei to do better job at "protecting those he wants to protect", a line that felt really sudden and odd coming from Crocodile of all people? What if the two knew their child would be in grave danger if he was ever raised within the army (absolutely not a place for a baby)? What if they knew their baby would become a target for the World Government to hunt, much like Roger's lost child was, if the Government found out Dragon had a baby? What if they wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to their baby and were willing to do anything to protect the baby? Even if it meant they'd never see their child grow up? Even if it meant hiding your child from your best friend, pretending to have a horrible fallout with them and transing your gender because Oda doesn't know what gender dysphoria is? Just so nobody would ever find out you had a child?
Mind you. I do not want anybody to think this is an actual argument for Crocodad. Like I could write a dozen different fanfics about how Crocodile could be Luffy's other dad, and they would all be just as much pure speculation with nothing to support them as the above suggestions. It is an example of what could have happened, and a deeply interesting thought, but it is just a theory at best.
In the end, it doesn't really matter though, because until the day Oda reveals Luffy's mom and/or Crocodile's backstory to us, we will truly never know for sure What The Fuck Crocodile's Deal Is
And I'll be just stuck with these brainworms, making myself sad by thinking about sad scenarios where Crocodad could be real, because truly, if it's canon, ain't no way it won't be sad
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EDIT 3: Originally I thought it'd be good enough if I just rewatched some parts here and there, but in the end I just fucking absolutely caved the fuck in and went and reread The Good Parts of Marineford. Mainly because I knew I was forgetting things and Toei adding/changing things can affect a character reading. Also it was just going to be easier to go through the manga and literally just all of Crocodile's scenes into an image folder for easier browsing, mainly because there's so much shit that happens between those scattered scenes it can be hard to like focus on one thing (especially if you're trying to specifically FIND those scattered scenes and appearances)
So yeah. Coming back a few days later to add shit to this god forsaken post. I need help
Actually changed my mind and made a separate post to continue this nonsense, enjoy
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scrawlingskribbles · 29 days ago
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not me blearily waking up at 5:30am almost in tears bc I had a dream that Ian had apparently been making more little OK KO shorts on the side and the utter joy I was feeling as dream!me was scrambling to find & watch them only to wake up before I could........ :((((
#there were 5 of them out already apparently#the most recent one had a Ray focus to it so big shocker that that's the one that caught my attention#and dream!me was like ''oh so THAT'S why ppl have been spam-liking all my Ray posts recently!! makes sense 👌''#I actually got to se like a little ending clip for that one where like. he was wearing this stupid cloak & outfit—#—kinda looked a little Shadowy Figure-esque actually??—but apparently he was like. secretly doing hero work on the side or smth??#and then at the end he had this convo with Darrell back at the factory where he monologued about how dabbling in hero work--#--made the villainy they do feel all the sweeter or smth like that & he was all dreamy-eyed pensive staring up at the sky#and Darrell was??? drinking imaginary tea/coffee from an imaginary cup which you could tell bc he had his pinkie up#and then when Ray finished his monologue Darrell just gave him this most unimpressed smirk & dumped out his imaginary cup over the balcony#like pour-one-out style??? and then that was the end of the short 😂😂#and so dream!me was pissing her pants bc HERO RAYMOND REAL AFTER ALL??¿????#and there were some other like screenshots/gifs I stumbled across on my way to find the actual shorts themselves#(Ian apparently had a whole lil youtube channel he was posting them to lol which I only found right before I woke up)#but the only one I can remember now was Elodie doing a Big YellTM towards KO about something 😂😂#broooo there are genuine tears being wiped from my eyes rn wtf is thissssss 🤣🤣 I have work soon I need my SLEEP#but I had to document this bc it was just. so Visceral & now I am so so so soooo bummed that it wasn't actually real TwT#I think my brain & heart have gotten too inspired by how some of my other Big Fave interests have been getting sequels/remasters lately#so now my soul is Once Again I Am Yearning For Justice For OK KO.meme TTwTT#anyways. god it's taken me an entire half hour to blearily tap this out on my phone. time to squeeze another half hour of snooze before work#OK KO#shut up Wisp
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silly-lil-scribbles · 17 days ago
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me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself
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mihai-florescu · 2 months ago
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Usually my stance on things is You do not know enough about other people's lived experiences to say whether they're valid or not. You only know your own view and what you *think* other people are like, but never what they actually are like. We will never fully understand each other, but we can have compassion and listen
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schizomilitant · 2 months ago
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yuore actuallyf so epic . hikkineet AND anti censorship whatf a combo
as a history buff the whole censorship movement thing on the internet thats been going on recently lowkey gives me major nazi book burning vibes. i think all content good or bad has a right to exist and be archived on the internet and on paper.
of course sometimes theres gonna be consequences for doing that especially if its like—actually illegal or some shit. (anime drawings and fanfiction arent illegal btw. you look stupid if you say they are.) but its a small price to pay for historical and fandom archives. salute the troops.
if the middle aged white women can read books about abusive hot billionaires who wanna make out with the young self insert women main character and have that be perfectly acceptable and welcome on library shelves. then i can read about whatever the hell i want to too.
it also goes hand in hand with my love of history. if people start censoring the fiction then theyre gonna start censoring the factual shit too. and that would actually be fucking world ending and im not even kidding. its important that everything has a place to exist or were all fucked.
and hell yeah man im epic! the hikkineet combo goes hard as fuck. im awesome as shit. fuck yeah!
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muchmossymess · 4 months ago
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It might be the weirdo in me but imagine an anamatic to the song shiny from moana with an evil/antagonist revali as the crab and link trying to recover the master sword as maui and zelda as moana
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phagodyke · 17 days ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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the-knife-consumer · 8 months ago
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One thing I really like is the idea that springbonnie hates William just as much as William has (probably) grown to hate it.
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gregmarriage · 1 month ago
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CATEGORY FIVE DYKE MOMENT™️: i want kissie 🥺
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grubbygrrrl · 4 months ago
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im so fucked and NOT in a sexy way
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gooopy · 4 months ago
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Fml. I have mental illnesses for real fhat arent just garden variety anxiety and depression <- sorry it turned into a vent/rant in the tags. The perilous poster
#THIS IS NOTHING IM FINE !!!#i just had to remember earlier that sometimes i dont get to be myself#and i drove through my ahit moms town for no reason#and we got a kitten and of course i feel like the only one reasonably concerned#so idk if my concerns are valid or if im overreacting and i dont know how much of my worry is justified#what if im just being a party pooper?#ANDDDD on top of that i dont know where the kitten is rn. and its fine. ots fine#but my mind keeps flashing me images of him stuck somewhere or hurt or somethinf#and i was supposed to be watching him but i left to make food#but my family keeps going 'oh lets do a small trip' so i dont add anything to the list#and then they get a bunch of bs and i dont get any food#WE DONT NEED COSMIC BROWNIES MAN I NEED TO EAT A REAL MEAL THAT MAKES ME FULL PLEASE GOD#and our older cat hates the kitten and im worried the stress is gonna kill him because hes fucking 19#agghh aaghhhhhhh and i cant keep up with everyone and im overwhelmed and i think im just like#upset because i havnt had real food but fuck man idk what to do about that#i coukd bike down to the store and get a sandwich#but my stupid brain keeps going 'if you leave the kitten will die and its your fault'#even though thats not fuckong correct#and i just. aaghhh. aaghhhhhh#and im overheatinf rn but i cant go to my room bc aforementioned kitten desth prophecies#and i. just. aaghhhh ghhhhrrhhhh ghrrrr#im fine im fine i just need to complain i need to be a bitch#ANDDD im tired cause i coulsnt sleep which isng helping#god ive been having a bunch of panic attacks lately too i stopped having them so much after quitting school
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jonahmagnus-research · 4 months ago
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Autism is in fact real. While the symptoms are things that most people experience to a degree, the difference between the average person and someone who is autistic is the level at which they experience these things. While most people can miss social cues, a person with autism may miss them even when they are being specifically pointed out. Everyone feels discomfort at unpleasant stimuli, but someone with autism is far more likely to become incapacitated by such situations. The diagnosis is not 'illegitimate' as you put it. Though it also does not mean there is something wrong with someone, or that they are inherently different from people as a whole, it is simply something to be aware of to make ways of coping with certain problems and sensitivities easier.
Extraordinarily insensitive of you to call it 'illegitimate' like that.
Alright. My apologies, I suppose.
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gummy-worms-in-my-brain · 1 year ago
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woohoo it's birthday!! im older now but at what cost today i briefly went outside as a little celebration(and to get away from family), trees were really pretty,.,,
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sorry for not posting much or replying to asks sgjdgdfg, my adhd brain cannot focus on anything when i need it to focus, its really productive otherwise but god forbid i try and do something i want to and i kinda feel a little bad about posting stuff but not replying to other stuff,.,,,, adhd be damned
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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im2tired4usernames · 2 months ago
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I really love how fuckin asinine some of these weight loss tips people throw out at me (completely unprompted and unasked for also)
someone straight faced told me I should make my life miserable and sad and destroy a happy healthy strong five+ year relationship so I can "lose the happy relationship weight" and that "women gain weight when they are in safe relationships"
Which is fuckin insane I'm sorry? I'm glad you recognize I'm in a happy safe relationship with a good person such ye I fuckin love my wife dude! but I think you need to look at your relationship with yourself and your body and work on your own prejudices and self image because being willing to sacrifice a relationship??? To become thinner??????? Is fuckin miserable and unhealthy as fuck bro.
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