#not original but it is funny
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violent138 · 1 month ago
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Jim Gordon, at his wit's end over the GCPD being leakier than a sponge, decides to run a constant one-man misinformation campaign amongst all his officers so that the press and other spies are flooded with leaks of utter nonsense and keeps everyone guessing. It keeps Jim amused when he runs out of cigarettes and it's easier lying to everyone than trying to work out who can be relied upon.
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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and-corn · 1 year ago
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are evil dragons really evil, or are they just vitamin D deficient?
(pt 2)
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clownboybebop · 6 months ago
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if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!
1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.
2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.
3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes
it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.
It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.
so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know
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stevejgarza · 9 months ago
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Wizard worm just emerged from a wizarding hole! Lucky you!!!✨🪱🪄🍀
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sparkle-cakez-art · 3 months ago
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Comic idea I've had in my head for a few weeks. That's all.
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callonpeevesie · 3 months ago
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I'm onto something I'm telling you
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coolxatu · 2 years ago
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she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]
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techutones · 5 months ago
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HES LEARNING
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oopdeathnote · 1 year ago
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Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.
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himuronanart · 8 months ago
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I like to think that my fav is simply looking out for my wellbeing :)
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toastyyjams · 1 month ago
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ena projecting her period cramps onto akito cuz i think he deserves it
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ashioksdaydream · 16 days ago
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Sometimes family is just a suicidal terrorist, a tired henchman and a kid with a funny hat
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and-corn · 1 year ago
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it’s BASKING time babyy!!!
(part 4 of this comic)
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amvipod · 5 months ago
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danganronpa in 2024 is diabolical ……………… please tell me you’ve seen what kodaka said about komaeda on bluesky
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i have and it's the funniest thing kodaka’s done in years
god this thing looks so stupid just take it
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shyjusticewarrior · 24 days ago
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Cass: *recording*
Steph, holding microphone: Who do you prefer Bruce be with, Selina or Talia?
Dick: Selina.
Jason: They're both too good for him.
Tim: Selina has threatened to kick my ass, but the guys Talia raised have kicked my ass. Selina also brings Bruce more work-life balance.
Tim: Mostly I just want Bruce to stay out of my love life.
Steph: Real.
Duke: Jefferson Pierce, so he'll stay away from my mom.
Dick: We can do that? In that case, Clark.
Steph: What about you, Damian?
Damian: Tt. Either way he'll be obnoxious.
Jason: Damian knows what's up.
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