#not my usual post but i felt the need to share
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explaining my selective situational mutism
disclaimer - I'm not a professional, this is not how everyone's mutism works, this is just to explain my own experiences
for me, there are layers and also exceptions. there are people I can talk to most of the time, there are people I can't talk to even when I'm calm. it mostly breaks down into five categories
1. trust. if I trust you, I can talk to you most times. in a full shutdown, i can't talk to anybody no matter how hard I try unless the consequences of not talking are scarier than whatever I'm upset about (i.e. I'm the only one who caught the nurse about to give me something I'm allergic to on accident). if I don't trust you, my level of calm has nothing to do with me not talking to you.
2. energy levels. it is extremely exhausting to talk, especially to talk loud enough to be heard by most. that's why I don't like repeating myself - it's not that I have anything against you for not hearing/processing what I just said, it's that I feel like I just sprinted 30 paces because I said two sentences. so if you need me to repeat, I'll either type it up in a text to you or it's just not important enough to waste any more energy you don't need to worry about what I just said who cares lol
3. people not listening/putting words in my mouth. back up to the energy thing, it really bothers me when people don't listen to me or twist what I say because I just spent a lot of precious energy saying something and you took that and turned it into something that was the opposite of what I said so I DO have to repeat myself, louder and with a defensive tone, because I don't want to be known to have said that. if there's someone I know won't listen I don't bother talking
4. medical. I have a lot of "white coat anxiety" which means I can't talk to a lot of doctors. I try, and I can't like there's a wall there. it sucks especially since I go to a lot of doctors who kinda need me to tell them what's wrong with me
5. speed of my thoughts. a lot of the time, my thoughts are going much faster than my mouth can track, which leads to a lot of stuttering and flipped words and even saying the wrong word and sometimes I have to just take a minute to breathe and catch up. its honestly embarrassing because I've internalized it to make myself feel like when that happens I don't seem as intelligent as I am. which likely isn't true but that tied with another speech impediment that makes a lot of "bigger words" difficult to pronounce makes it pretty easy to believe
that's all I can think of for right now, but it's hardly all of it
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Me: *drinks hot chocolate with dairy in it* My stomach: *sobbing, gurgling, tossing up* you know I can't handle this, right?? Me, making a gallon of milk's worth of mozzarella at midnight: VIVA LE LACTOSE!!!
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good-beansdraws · 11 months ago
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Mutual left this tag on one of my Fuuta analyses and yeah...
Part two of "Fuuta’s central theme is invasion of privacy and he has extreme anxiety over being watched, so it's interesting that we get to pick him apart and see all his worst, most private thoughts" :(
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blackkatdraws · 2 years ago
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school is going just great
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ropes3amthoughts · 9 days ago
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I am having the most normal day ever. Not normal as in normal for me, but normal as in for the average person. Ok so I was allowed to skip school today because school is short because of the election and there was no homework or anything, so I slept in, I ate breakfast, I took a shower, I cleaned my room, and did other productive stuff like that and like this all feels so normal? Like usually I don’t sleep well on school days and I don’t have time to shower in the mornings or eat breakfast and I’m usually very lazy and stuff but I’ve done all those things and this feels like an average guy day? Like the type of day that would happen in like a movie or like the type of day you’re supposed to have if that makes any sense? Idk I just feel so jarringly different today and it’s like wow I’m living like a normal guy should? This is so weird to me but it feels like a normal thing and idk how to explain it very well but like this is so strange I’m going to eat lunch and get ahead on my homework all productive-like and just wow I’m having an eerily normal person day???
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verathena14 · 2 years ago
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Any thoughts on when we gonna see the meteor shower promise, considering nomura already hinted that Riku gave Sora the necklace? At least it was in the drafts to have Riku giving us a crown keychain we see on Oblivion just in a different color.
ough, this is a tough one... tbh I don't theorize much about kh, I'm just here for the ride! my hope (best case scenario) is that the meteor shower promise gets acknowledged (one way or another, I'm hoping it'll be something like the Chirithy Dream Eater sigil reveal!) in Missing Link and possibly revealed in KH4? again, that's like... best case scenario. I think it would tie in really well with the whole "thank Namine" plotline, and maybe thanking Namine would somehow give Sora back his memories? possibly?
tldr: I really don't know, but I hope it gets revealed in KH4 or alongside the resolution of the "thank Namine" plotline.
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years ago
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lowkey feel like im gonna throw up and idk if thats the anxiety or the chocolate from earlier LOL
#perhapeth a little of both jsdjflsdjf#iti's not like. not a BIG feeling just. JUUST ENOUGH#god idk why im so nervous LOL like damn the fic isnt THAT deep and serious or anything#but it's like. More Serious Than Usual and i DO feel more vulnerable w/this one#got dam started it sept 4 finishing it MAY 12TH WHOOPS#it's not even my longest fic it's like. my average i guess LOL#im like. scared of embarassing myself lol#SORRY im having a therapy session with myself in the tags here  I NEED THIS#i guess it's only been like a couple months ish since i last posted a fic so it hasnt even been that long but#in my mind it feels like forever#WHY are my arms shaking GOD i swear im like. nervous but it's not That Bad fljdksfjlksd#i probably sound so dramatic over like. fanfiction lskdfjsd#but man lately i have felt so very insecure about. doing things. and sharing things. being percieved when i make attempts at something#like both in general but extra when it's a personal attempt#and this fic!!!! felt personal!!!! im not fully sure why tbh#but it did#so i had emotional stakes in it. i wanted to do the topic justice and i want to be understood in the way i wrote things#but i didnt wanna spell it out completely either but i dont exactly have faith in myself to make implications clear#and im worried it doesnt work. im worried it ended weird. im worried some stuff didnt fit together. but thats just 2 bad llol#also directors cut: there was gonna be a part about jamil loaning sleepwear like a hoodie and sweatpants to azul#but thats part of what had me stuck for a while. i couldnt figure out hwo to make it work#eventually i decided it didnt fit and i had to cut it#so alas. clothes sharing and hair brushing for another fic one day maybe LOL#ok thats enough baring my soul to the internet for one night good bye lol 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 6 months ago
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for whom good omens is being written
Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:
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The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.
And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:
'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."
'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'
He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'
(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'
And, finally, this paragraph:
"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"
I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.
Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")
Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)
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lostinwildflowers · 11 months ago
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Guys I had the wackiest dream where Niall Horan and John Legend were fighting for my affections... And we were on my college campus???
AND NIALL WAS SUCH A GENTLEMAN, OFFERING HIS HAND WHILE GOING DOWN STEPS, HAND ON MY BACK WHILE MOVING IN A CROWD, SO ON! BUT THEN JOHN WAS COMPLIMENTING MY OUTFIT AND STYLE AND YEAH.
Strangest dream I ever had. I love Niall even more now 😭 he was so tender and sweet and his touch was literally addictive.
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cutielando · 1 month ago
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i don’t know who i am without you | l.n.
synopsis: in which he can't function without you
my masterlist
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Lando was a very simple human being.
He didn’t need many things in life to survive, or many people for that matter.
He had Max, he had Jon, the entire team at McLaren, his family, and then he had you.
The most important piece of the puzzle being you. 
Lando didn’t know what it felt like being without you ever since you two got together. He didn’t know what it meant not to have a cooked meal anymore. What it felt like coming home to an empty apartment. He couldn’t even remember the feeling of being alone.
Thoughts of you consumed his mind every single minute of the day, no matter where he was and no matter what he was doing.
His friends would tease him for becoming such a simp, for being so consumed by his love for you. 
But he didn’t care. He craved being with you, feeling your touch and just being around you.
And he made sure other people knew it too.
He never missed an opportunity to talk about you, even with the most random strangers he would meet in other countries where they would be racing. He didn’t really care who he was talking you, he would just make sure the person understood how important you were to him and how much he loved you.
Cisca and Adam were especially delighted when they met you, knowing that you had to be a pretty special girl for Lando to decide you were ready to meet his family.
Cisca had even told you on the night you had flown to the UK to have dinner with them. 
“I’ve never seen him smile like this with anyone before, or speak about you like he does. He loves you with his entire heart, and I know you love him just as much. Please, take care of each other and never let each other go” 
When you returned to the living room after speaking with her, smile wobbly and tears threatening to spill out of your eyes, Lando looked between you and his mother and smiled, sharing a knowing look with his mother.
I found the one.
He realized he was in big trouble once he started looking for you in every room he would enter, reaching out for your touch the first thing in the morning, searching for you every time he would get out of the car after each race. 
You would be the one constant Lando couldn’t be without, no matter where he was. He had to travel all around the world for his races? You were flying with him. He had to fly back to the MTC? You were right there with him. He wanted to go skiing in Lapland? You were going with him.
He forgot what it was like to plan something just for himself and his friends, wanting you there with him no matter what he was doing. 
You certainly weren’t complaining, you loved Lando with your entire heart and you loved that he wanted you there with him. You craved him just as much as he did you, craving the feeling of his hand in yours, of his kisses against your body, of his presence next to you.
You didn’t know how to explain it, but it felt like you could finally breathe whenever you were with him, like there was this imaginary rock sitting on your chest that only lifts when you two are together.
The world, and more importantly his fans, were the only ones that loved you more than Lando and his family did. You were very skeptical when Lando first suggested that you tell the world about your relationship on Instagram.
You had seen how fans usually reacted to their idols having girlfriends, which is why you were really apprehensive at first. But you couldn’t say no to him, especially when he would look at you like you hung the stars, whispering promises that no matter what, he would love you to death and fight with everyone in his comments if he had to. Anything just to see you smile with him.
Luckily for you, the fans absolutely adored the shit out of you. They would all but praise you in the comments of Lando’s post, following you and hyping you up whenever you posted anything, asking for you whenever Lando would go live on Twitch and basically ignoring him whenever you would decide to join him.
He couldn’t have asked for anything better, he didn’t think anything could be better than this.
However, the moment that cemented the belief that you were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and have a family was the day when he won his first Formula 1 race.
As always, you had joined him for the race, knowing he would be absolutely off his game if you even suggested staying back in Monaco.
You were the lucky charm he needed to perform, the only thing he needed to get through the weekend. 
You’d told him that morning that you had a good feeling about the day despite his not so stellar results in qualifying and his premature end of the Sprint.
He hadn’t believed it, at least not for the first couple of laps of the race. But when he crossed the finish line in P1, he almost didn’t know what to say.
The moment he got out of the car and saw you standing behind the barriers, tears streaming down your face and your smile threatening to break your cheeks, he couldn’t help it. He sprinted towards you, lifting you over the barriers before hugging you tightly, burying his head in your neck while you squeezed him with your entire might.
“I’m so proud of you, baby. You deserve this so much” you whispered in his ear, the tears soaking up in his suit.
He didn’t say anything but only squeezed you tighter, his own tears falling down. 
You guys didn’t know how long you stood there embraced, but you didn’t even want to know. It was only the two of you in that moment, soaking in the moment you had both been waiting for ever since you could remember.
And in that moment, stood there wrapped around each other, you realized that you could not imagine a life where you weren’t together.
Because you loved each other too much to let each other go.
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cosmicmunsonwrites · 1 month ago
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baby get me off again
bf!rafe cameron x fem!reader
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cw — p in v, unprotected sex, cockwarming, brief breast play, this is lowk short
summary — after a long stressful day, you want nothing other than rafe.
a/n — trying to get back into consistent writing so please request!!
do not copy or post my work anywhere else.
your day had started shitty from the moment you woke up. your shower was only producing cold water, your yogurt you usually had for breakfast was moldy, your boss was being a dick, and the cold air in your car wasn’t working properly. it was safe to say that you were in a pretty bad mood now.
part of you felt bad for ignoring your boyfriend when you arrived to your shared apartment but the other part just wanted to curl up and sleep and never leave the bed again.
when you’d walked straight past rafe with nothing but an unbothered “hi,” he knew something was up. you’d been together long enough for him to read you instantly. so he naturally followed you to the bedroom, asking what was wrong a thousand times even though you weren’t answering.
that led you here. both of you completely bare with your legs on either side of his thighs and his cock nestled deep inside of you. there was a movie playing behind you but you couldn’t see it nor did you really even care to. rafes big hands were holding your hips, rolling them every now and then to make you sigh in relief.
his lips were attached to your left breast, sucking and kissing at the fragile skin there. it only made the pool of slick between your legs grow and the need build up tighter in the pit of your stomach. he squeezed at the fat of your thighs momentarily before returning to your hips and pushing them forward so your stomach was pressed to his.
“so fuckin’ pretty,” he mumbled against your breast, now moving his head to switch to your right one. “this what you needed? jus’ to be all nice and full?”
you nodded and hummed in agreement as your hands cradled his head and played with the long strands of hair. “mhm, feels so good.”
he smiled against your skin, releasing your nipple with a wet pop and spit slicked lips. “yeah? my dick filling you up good?” he moved one of his hands to gently press at your tummy, feeling the imprint of his tip. “so fuckin’ tight, sweet girl. always so perfect.”
burying your head into his shoulder, your hips jerked involuntarily and you let out a muffled moan at the feel of him hitting that sensitive spot inside you for a second. “‘s so good, rafe,” you mumbled.
he chuckled and held you closer to him, keeping you seated snug on his length. “you done with that bitchy attitude shit?”
“mhm, i promise,” you mumbled breathlessly as his tip now rested against that spongy spot that made you see stars. “promise i’ll be good.”
he turned his head to the side to press a soft kiss to your temple, giving your ass a gentle loving squeeze. “such a good girl,” he muttered into your ear. “i love you, angel.”
you smiled into his hair and hugged him tighter. “i love you too, rafe.”
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indulgentdaydream · 9 months ago
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BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BESTIE
what about a tired and very touch-starved jason wakes up at like 2pm and fem!reader is out of bed??? and he comes and finds them and throws them over his shoulder and brings them back to bed???? because why would you leave jaybean by himself????? unnacceptable???
THIS IS SO ADORABLE WHAT
And the idea of people waiting for my requests to be open is so weird like… what do you mean you wanna read my writings and hear my thoughts??? Y’all make me smile so much I swear
Side note: I’m so sorry this is a month late. And then also another day late than I said I would post.
Side side note: if y’all saw me post this without the photo header…. No you didn’t
M.I.A
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Jason Todd x gn!Reader || Domestic Fluff || Word Count: 758
Warnings: not completely proofread. Gun mention.
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Jason’s pulled himself out of a bad dream. Not quite a nightmare, though something eerily close.
It was one of those rare nights that he had off of patrol. One he where the two of you got to eat dinner together, watch some TV, get ready for bed, then fall asleep in your shared bed. He enjoyed the chances when he got them.
He laid on his stomach under the comfortably heavy duvet. His left arm was bent beneath his pillow, his hand grazing the hidden .44 he had convinced you to let him keep there, the other arm laying in front of him. He kept his eyes closed, clinging to his last tendrils of sleep.
All he needed was you back in his arms and his dreams would turn good again, filled with the smell of your soap and hints of faded perfume.
Slowly, he stretches his right arm out across the sheets, sleepily searching for your form. It drags along the sheets, his entire body only half-asleep.
He’s aware that there’s this… itch in his skin. Not a physical itch. An itch that can only be satisfied by having your arms around him again.
Jason Todd doesn’t count sheep. He counts your heart beats or your breathing. Sometimes both.
He must be laying further to the edge of his side of the bed than he thought. Usually, he doesn’t have to reach this far to get to you when you two drift apart in your sleep.
His hand grazes the wall. His eyes shoot open.
You aren’t in bed.
He pushes himself up with his elbows. A tired, confused, and slightly panicked frown settled on his face, his hair mussed up and flat on one side of his head.
The bedroom window is closed. The door is cracked open.
Then he notices the sound of the tap running in the kitchen.
Jason gets up and out of bed, moving languidly. He pads his way out of the bedroom and into the hallway.
His eyes squint at the light you had turned on as he stands in the doorway. All foggy panic he felt before faded away at the sight of you, filling a glass with water, standing in one of his shirts.
He shuffles his feet. A purposeful noise that he wouldn’t otherwise make as he went about his day, one to get your attention.
You turn around, your glass of water in your hand. You take notice of your boyfriend’s large stature filling the entryway, a sleepy pout on his lips. You give him a smile. He can tell you're trying not to laugh at his fatigued state.
“Want a glass, too?”
Jason shakes his head. He makes his way across the kitchen, his brows still furrowed against the light.
He just wants you back in bed with him.
He reaches for your glass after you sip from it. You hand it to him. Jason takes the cold glass in his right hand, bends down a little, and wraps his left arm tight around the bottom of your bum. He stands back up, now with you draped over his shoulder.
You squeal out a fit of laughter, "Jay!"
He flicks off the light as he exits the kitchen, makes his way back into the hall, then kicks the door to your bedroom shut as he carries you in.
Gently, he sets you back down on the edge of the bed. Once you're properly seated, he hands your water back for you to finish. Seeing your bright smile makes his own lips tug into a small one.
Jason rakes his hands through his hair as you drink. He rubs his hands over his face, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes from a moment, trying to shake a bit of the sleep still clinging to him.
You hand him back the nearly finished glass of water. He watches you shuffled back under the covers, moving over to the wall-side. Your side. He finishes off the last two gulps of your water and sets the glass on the night stand.
He follows you under the covers, immediately pulling you close. He presses a kiss to your cheek and drops his head into the crook of your neck, an arm draped around your waist, the other tucked under his pillow. He kisses your shoulder and gently squeezes your waist once.
Your arms settle around him, "If you wanted cuddles you could’ve just asked, you know."
Jason only grumbles an incoherent response. He shuffles and presses closer to you, holding you tight.
You kiss his forehead and Jason starts to count.
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Ahh!! I hope you like! This is lowkey rushed.
Also you can catch my personal headcanon of how Jason WILL keep his bed, with or without you in it, as far away from the window and door as possible. And you best believe that when you two share, you're getting the wall side so he can act as a barrier for any possible danger that may come in.
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babyleostuff · 4 months ago
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gummy bears
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𝜗𝜚 THEME: fluff, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 PAIRING: idol!seungcheol x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT: 603
SYNOPSIS: sometimes you find it concerning how well seungcheol knows you
natalia's note: just know that whenever cheol says "baby" it sounds like this "baby" (i died)
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“here you go, baby.” 
seungcheol walked around the couch you were happily occupying, and set the bowl on the table in front of you. 
“you sure you don’t want more ramen?” he sat down next to you with a soft grunt, and immediately put an arm around you. “i can heat up some,” he said, as his other hand travelled to the scar on his leg.  
“i told you,” you sighed, and put your head on cheol’s shoulder, looking up at his big, brown eyes, “if i eat anything else, i’ll literally explode. you give me way too much food, choi seungcheol,” you smiled at him, and put your hand over his, covering his knee with your intertwined fingers. 
“one, don’t call me that. and two, if anything, i give you too little,” he bent his head a little to place a peck on your forehead, “need you to be strong and healthy.” 
you shook your head, and made yourself comfortable on the sofa, now with cheol by your side. it was one of those rare nights when your boyfriend didn’t have to be at work, so you made sure to use your time together to the fullest. first you went grocery shopping, which was always a fun chore when you were together, and decided to make ramen. so not only did you get to fool around in the kitchen but also eat something delicious. 
and now came the time for your favourite (more like cheol’s) part - cuddles. 
if you’d have to describe how your perfect day would look like, you’d describe it just like that. 
reaching for the remote, you noticed the bowl he placed on the table just a minute ago. “what’s that by the way?” you asked.
“your gummies,” he said, not tearing his eyes from the tv. your boyfriend took his job of finding a fitting movie for the night very seriously. 
“gummies?” 
“yeah, the gummy bears. i picked out the, um,” he said, squinting his eyes at the tv, “the yellow, and red ones. you like them the most so i figured i’d just pick them out for you,” he said as a matter of fact, as if your heart didn’t just skip three beats. 
you had this little habit of always picking up a snack after dinner. sometimes it was chocolate, another day it was your favourite biscuits, and sometimes it was gummy bears. you knew seungcheol was aware of your post-dinner routine, usually it was him who took it upon himself to restock your snack drawer whenever it got a tad empty (of course you never asked him to do that, and one day when you said you could do it on your own he just scoffed, and gave you a very unamused look). 
“thank you,” you muttered, suddenly too shy to say anything else. 
no matter how many times he did little thighs like that (and he did them very often), that just showed how well he knew you, how much he cared about you to notice which gummy bears you like the most - it never failed to make your heart beat a little faster, never failed to make you feel loved, feel seen. 
“of course,” he said like it was nothing, and pecked your forehead again. because it truly was nothing to him. it wasn't a chore, or something he felt like he was obligated to do as your boyfriend - his acts of service were as natural as breathing for coups. 
“you want one?” you picked up a red bear, ready to share with your boyfriend. 
“no, but thank you baby. they’re all yours.”
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taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @hoichi02 @aaa-sia @haneulparadx @minvrsev @zozojella @wonootnoot @kimingyuslover @wntrei @honglynights @jihoonsbbygirl @uhdrienne @bloodcanbehot
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dee-the-red-witch · 4 months ago
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How to ACTUALLY date a trans girl
(This column was originally submitted to Autostraddle as a reply to their "A Trans Guy’s Guide to Picking Up a Trans Girl" but since they've apparently passed on it, it gets to be posted up free everywhere else instead.) Picture this- you’re a trans woman who’s been in transition for three years now. Your dating life has gone from abysmal to amazing in alternate fits and spurts and you’ve found not just one, but three awesome partners despite the many, MANY pitfalls you’ve experienced along the way. And then one day, your social media feeds ping up with screencaps of a guide to picking up girls like yourself. Needing a good laugh, you click through. And read. And proceed to smack your forehead with your own palm in frustration a few times and giggle and some other lines on the first readthrough. But things feel off, so you read again. And begin to seethe. And then start opening up the Word document and start typing frenziedly into it. Because honestly? At the end of the day, as a trans lesbian who dates all sorts of people on non-male parts of the amorphous spectral mass that is Gender, I feel like I’m obligated to. I wanted to go into that first reading and find a column that actually got things right, and this was so far off the mark in the worst ways, so I feel like I have to set some things down on paper. Because this guide reads, in so many ways, like everything my cisfem friends have complained about in the straight dating scene for years. Reading through it that second time, I felt almost the exact same sense of of sheer grease and sleaze that I’ve felt reading incel pickup guides. I felt like I was being seen as a pretty object at best and a disposable sex toy at worst. I wasn’t treated as human. At best it was a bunch of stereotypes, none of which applied to me. But under it all, I saw other bits- the tricks an abuser used to lure me in. The lies my rapist fed me. The excuses made by folks online for why I should be treated like a monster or thing because of my identity. You know, the specific blend of misogyny that singles out transfem identities in general- transmisogyny. And since we’re addressing the elephant in the room, I want to address a few particular points from Gabe’s article before I give you some real idea of how to go about this. And I want to emphasize here- this is after editing out a page of swearing, going over Gabe’s own past history of transmisogynistic writing, and just cutting it down to the actual points where the original article really went wrong, and also pick up a few points at the end that’ll actually work well for trans guys or anyone else who might be interested in a relationship with a trans girl. First off, if you’re trans as well? Stop playing the ‘we’re both trans’ card. ESPECIALLY if you’re coming at it from a ‘Why yes, I used to be a woman’ angle. For one, you’re telling us at the same time that you see us as former men, which is usually very much not the transfem experience (Personally, I always felt like I was putting on a ‘man’ act. All the time. Badly.) and for another, you’re being transphobic to yourself and your own identity. If we’re there to date you, it’s as the man you are- be that guy.
Secondly, just because the trans woman experience shares similarities with the experience you had trying to be a woman up until you came out and transitioned, it also has staggering fundamental differences, and your attempts to relate are going to highlight those differences in ways that aren’t going to work in your favor. We didn’t get to go shopping in public, or if we did, it was fraught with fear at being caught out in the early stages of transition, followed by massive frustrations with both trying to figure out where we fit into women’s sizing. And then discovering that absolutely nothing available in local stores, including thrift shops, would fit right, especially not that cute choker we’d always been drooling over. That nothing smelled right for lotion or perfume because we were dealing with a body chemistry that was going through a slow shift on HRT. And we don’t need or want to be reminded of just how much we stand out from the other girls in those kind of regards.
Also, maybe, just maybe, don’t do things that would get seen as completely misogynistic and creepy if you pulled them on a cisgender woman. Don’t go digging into her socials- stalkers and chasers pull that crap and it’s beyond tiresome. Don’t try to deduce what her pretransition life was like, that’s for her to share, if she chooses to. Don’t see her as a stereotype- some of us never played New Vegas, owned cat ears, or like thigh-highs. On that first date if you ever get there, don’t bring her flowers, lovebomb her like mad, constantly find little ways to touch her, any of that- if she has any experience, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop in response, because she’s had this treatment before and it ended oh so badly. Just be yourself. And get it through your head that the bear is still definitely a choice regardless of everything- after all, we have examples like Gabe to prove that transmisogyny certainly isn’t limited to cis folks.
What should you do? Treat her like any other woman. Treat her like a human being, because we get so little of that, even from the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community. Yes, you’ll more than likely have to take initiative, because we’re used to seeing our attractions, needs, and desires as being perceived as aggressive or predatory by others. When you touch her, do it with assertion and intent- none of the little brushes and stalker moves- ask if you can hold her hand, or put an arm around her, so she knows you actually want to be here and want contact with her. Listen to her, and pay attention- let her be open and honest about her experiences and interests, and remember what she tells you, because she’s going to need to know that she’s wanted and valued for who she is and what she’s into, and it will be part of how she connects to you. And finally? Common sense and communication- every last one of us is different in a lot of ways, and asking or making room to talk about things from physical contact and sex to social activity or group outings or anything else can save a lot of blunders from ever happening. All in all you can and should date trans women! Please! A lot of the best relationships I’ve ever had were with other trans girls and I don’t regret any of those. But you have to put down the pickup guides, stop seeing us as fetish dispensers and sexy lampshades, and actually deal with us as people, first.
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thedevilrisen · 1 month ago
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Cradle Me
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Father!Quinn x Son & Wife!Reader. Word Count: 1,1k Authorial Note: My next voted WIP! I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I did while writing it! Don’t know if it’s my best piece then. Warnings: Swearing, mentions of birth.
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Elliot Samuel Hughes came screaming into the world at 4:12 p.m., Quinn only knew his son for a matter of awed, breathless moments before the world sharpened—and chaos erupted.
Nurses swarmed you, dabbing and cleaning with sodden warm towels. A warm, slimy bundle of swaddle-blanket and baby reached your chest as the obstetrician stepped back from your glistening body. Quinn's reddened hand slipped from your grip, instinctively cradling the baby to your chest. His other hand, shaking slightly, gripped the bed's plastic rail. Leaning forward, he rested his right arm limply across your shoulder, his forehead gently touching yours as the two of you gazed down at your son.
"How’re you doing, Dad?" the obstetrician asked from the sink as he scrubbed his hands clean.
Quinn blinked, a goofy grin spreading across his face. "I feel sick... but in a good way." He laughed softly, joy plastered permanently on his face. "We created a human... that's fucking scary but awesome at the same time."
Even in your post-birth haze, a smile graced your lips. It was an awesome thing indeed. This was your person now, a culmination of Quinn and your love. Despite this baby being considered a gift, he clearly was sent to test you and Quinn’s love for each other. No parenting class could have prepared you for the unfolding chaos that was leaving the hospital and heading home. The first day at the hospital was incredible, the nurses gently guided you and Quinn in the ways of parenting. But once you left and arrived home, the learning curve turned into an aggressive crash course.
Emotions ran high for every family member. Every nap missed, messy feed, spit-up, or nappy mess that needed cleaning up frayed the string further. Quinn and you had been remarkably naïve to think that this journey would be easy, even though you’d been dreaming collectively of this moment for years.
Quinn, along with self-proclaimed uncles Elias, Brock, and JT, spent hours working on the perfect nursery for baby boy Hughes. From wall decorations to the crib and changing table—which you insisted had to be powder blue with clouds and a grassy field with cows in it—the boys poured their hearts into it. Once they had finished assembling the room and you'd let it air out due to your hatred of the smell of fresh paint, you added the final details: books, blankets, nappies, and wipes, along with baby clothes hanging neatly on tiny coat hangers.
The first night home from the hospital was powered purely by adrenaline. You and Quinn took shifts with baby boy—changing, feeding, and sometimes just comforting him to sleep. By the second and third nights, the exhaustion set in. Leaving the warmth of the bed became a Herculean effort, especially for you. The physical toll of birth weighed heavily on your body, and sustaining new life felt overwhelming.
Quinn tried his hardest to take the load off, seeing how hard you were working to make the transition smooth, though it felt futile. His patience held up remarkably well for the first four days, but by the fourth night, tension crept in. Snappish words replaced your usual playful banter, and the distance between you felt like a growing chasm. Quinn’s touch, once so comforting, now felt foreign. Exhaustion tangled both your nerves, and intimacy between the two of you became a distant memory.
That night, an abrupt “goodnight” was shared, accompanied by a peck on the cheek. You both lay there in the dark, separated by a wall of fatigue, each praying for sleep that never came, as baby boy woke again at distasteful hours of the night.
Night five was the killer. Some ungodly hour like 1:03 a.m. glared back at you from the microwave as you ambled around the kitchen for the second time that night. You’d fed him twice now, but much of the milk had come back up in spit-up. Quinn had changed baby once and had checked on him again 45 minutes earlier.
There was one distinct problem: the baby only slept when he was held. You could do as many laps around the kitchen as you wanted, Quinn could rock him for hours, but as soon as baby landed on the bassinet’s mattress, it was like laying him on lava.
"Still no luck, darlin’?" Quinn’s voice came quietly from the doorway, his tired form silhouetted by the dim light of the stairs. He met you halfway, his brow furrowed with concern.
You let out a soft, frustrated sigh. "Every time I put him down, he cries," you whispered, blinking back tears. "I’m so tired, Quinn."
He stepped closer, reaching for your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "C’mon, let’s go back to bed," he murmured, leading you gently up the stairs. Exhaustion had blurred the edges of your world, and you forced a tired smile as he kissed your hand again.
"He’s just going to cry when I put him down, Quinn," you stated tiredly as he threw back the covers for you. The softness of the bed felt like heaven against your aching body, and you settled in without a second thought.
Quinn, now shirtless, pulled baby from your arms and nestled him gently on his chest, holding him snugly as he propped himself up with pillows. He tucked you in under his arm, pulling the blankets over both of you.
"Sleep now, darlin’," he whispered, kissing the top of your head. Baby wriggled slightly in his swaddle but quickly relaxed against Quinn's warmth. "If this is how we have to do it from now on, fine."
Quinn sighed, his grip tightening around both of you. "At least we have good chiros at the rink."
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lanabuckybarnes · 8 months ago
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Missed Dates.
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(I do not own any photos used, credit to original owners)
Bucky arranges a date for you both on the day he comes back from a mission, a date that he doesn't remember. Unfortunately, it's the straw that breaks the camel's back.
AN: Hello how are we all? sorry for not posting yesterday. I’ve got a limited amount of drafts and I wanna spread them before I run out of content.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Bucky done be neglecting his bf duties.
Word count: around 918 (where'd they come from?)
(Bucky ever looked at my like that I’d be on my knees)
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Bucky has been busy with missions again. His pardon was never really a pardon, more of a we’ll forgive you if you do our dirty work. You can’t remember the last time he’d spent more than 2 weeks with you and in those 2 weeks, he was constantly being called away to meetings or other things.
The distance was becoming unbearable, you loved Bucky you really did but the time away from him was putting a wedge between you two. You’re last date night you’d dressed up all nice for him, he would be arriving back in New York around 5 pm, you had warned him about organising a date after a long mission— especially with his sleep pattern— but he brushed you off with a sweet kiss and honey-toned words.
When his heavy feet stomped into the apartment you knew he was tired, what you didn’t expect was for him to flop onto the couch and go to sleep. You checked the time, 4.45 pm, you were never making your reservation.
You heaved a sigh and swallowed the thick slew of emotions bubbling up your throat as you turned on your heel to take off the stupid dress.
That morning he’d woke up, brewed you both a coffee and said not a word about your missed date yesterday, usually he’d apologise for sleeping without so much as a hello and you told him there was no need but something about him completely glossing over the fact he hadn’t even mentioned your unsuccessful date— the first in over 2 months.
“Everything alright sweetheart?” His brows furrowed and his words cautious at the sight of your sour face, clearly you hadn’t been hiding your emotions very well, and the sound of his voice had anger washing over you
“Everything’s peachy” you spat, noticing instantly how his face turned to one of confusion, then anger.
“Hey, what’s your problem?” One of Bucky’s flaws was how defensive he got easily. You were rarely angry with him so to have you hiss at him, his guard was raised instantly.
“My problem!? I should be asking you, what’s your problem Bucky?” The words felt so foreign like they weren’t falling from your mouth. Bucky thought so too.
“I didn’t have a problem until you got all pissy, why?” He retorted, his jaw and fists clenching to suppress the urge to raise his voice.
“You wanna know why? Fine! Two fucking months we haven’t been on a date and when I get dressed up for you, after warning you about organising a date straight after you came off a plane, you sank your ass right on that couch and slept. I should’ve known Bucky I really should’ve” You stormed off to your shared bedroom, the slamming of the wood wasn’t the cause of Bucky’s flinch.
He’d forgotten all about you, you’d done your best for him and he’d completely disregarded it, he felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world.
He had to think of how to make it up to you.
An hour later there was a soft knock on the door, startling you awake. You rubbed at your sensitive eyes— you’d cried yourself to sleep because of the guilt you felt shouting at Bucky. You knew the risk of him being unable to do certain things due to missions and such was extremely high, you knew his sleep pattern was the worst leading him to stay awake days at a time, yet you still screamed at him.
You had every right to advocate for your needs but you couldn’t help that sinking feeling in your stomach.
A second knock pulled you from your trance “Hey…. Sweetheart, can I come in?” His voice was muffled by the door but you could tell he shared the same emotions as you.
“Y-yeah” you mentally cursed your hoarse throat.
Bucky entered holding a white box and a bag, his eyes looking slightly red and his shoulders slumped. Gently he took a seat next to you, far enough away that it hurt, you felt like you’d pushed him that far.
“Look I’m really sorry I forgot about yesterday, you warned me and I didn’t listen… I’ve booked us again for tomorrow if you’re up for it” he explained, flashing you his nervous smile.
“Didn’t you have-“
“I called in, let them know I was taking time off for some private reasons” he interrupted, his hand hovering over the white box he’d now placed between you on the bed. He opened it gently, his smile growing as he did. Inside was a cake, with cursive fondant.
‘I’m so sorry I’m an ass’
You couldn’t help but laugh at the decoration, your laugh drawing a chuckle from him as well
“I uhh also bought some snacks, I was thinking we could watch that movie you wanted to see” he spoke as his laughter died down, now replaced with a slight shyness.
Bucky might be a man with many flaws, yes sometimes he prioritised his work over you and he really tried to balance you both but sometimes it got too much. You had to admit though, the man truly knew the way to his woman’s heart.
“So?” He questioned, his fingers tapping his knee as his ocean blue eyes darted over your face.
“Aww Buck… I love you”
He smiled widely, relief pooling in his veins. leaning over he kissed you deeply.
“You know… you gotta make up for shouting at me” he mumbled against your lips.
This man. He was lucky he was cute.
-
THE URGE TO MAKE THIS AN ANGST AHHHH.
You guys are soo lucky I can’t write angst. I hope you enjoyed my 5am thoughts xx
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