#and this fic!!!! felt personal!!!! im not fully sure why tbh
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cerealmonster15 · 1 year ago
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lowkey feel like im gonna throw up and idk if thats the anxiety or the chocolate from earlier LOL
#perhapeth a little of both jsdjflsdjf#iti's not like. not a BIG feeling just. JUUST ENOUGH#god idk why im so nervous LOL like damn the fic isnt THAT deep and serious or anything#but it's like. More Serious Than Usual and i DO feel more vulnerable w/this one#got dam started it sept 4 finishing it MAY 12TH WHOOPS#it's not even my longest fic it's like. my average i guess LOL#im like. scared of embarassing myself lol#SORRY im having a therapy session with myself in the tags here  I NEED THIS#i guess it's only been like a couple months ish since i last posted a fic so it hasnt even been that long but#in my mind it feels like forever#WHY are my arms shaking GOD i swear im like. nervous but it's not That Bad fljdksfjlksd#i probably sound so dramatic over like. fanfiction lskdfjsd#but man lately i have felt so very insecure about. doing things. and sharing things. being percieved when i make attempts at something#like both in general but extra when it's a personal attempt#and this fic!!!! felt personal!!!! im not fully sure why tbh#but it did#so i had emotional stakes in it. i wanted to do the topic justice and i want to be understood in the way i wrote things#but i didnt wanna spell it out completely either but i dont exactly have faith in myself to make implications clear#and im worried it doesnt work. im worried it ended weird. im worried some stuff didnt fit together. but thats just 2 bad llol#also directors cut: there was gonna be a part about jamil loaning sleepwear like a hoodie and sweatpants to azul#but thats part of what had me stuck for a while. i couldnt figure out hwo to make it work#eventually i decided it didnt fit and i had to cut it#so alas. clothes sharing and hair brushing for another fic one day maybe LOL#ok thats enough baring my soul to the internet for one night good bye lol 🚶‍♂��🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️
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fandoomrants · 9 months ago
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ohhh just saw ur rant post! i agree with like 99.99% of it and im excited and i just wanna point out that it's stated in canon that james would have considered it the height of dishonor to distrust his friends, so, canonically, we only know of sirius suspecting remus (although i've read fics where james also distrused remus and i adore the angst and the drama and the absolute tragedy of it)
to add to the dorm thing: there are only like 5 boys in gryffindor in harry's year. not just in his dorm, but the whole house (as stated in chambers of secrets), so there's a very real chance the marauders were the only 4 boys in their year in gryffindor
and also to back up another one of ur points: pottermore canon states that remus was the one to bring peter into the group ("Remus, always the underdog’s friend, was kind to short and rather slow Peter Pettigrew, a fellow Gryffindor, whom James and Sirius might not have thought worthy of their attention without Remus’s persuasion. Soon, these four became inseparable."). before that it also states that "Remus Lupin was swiftly befriended by two cheerful, confident and rebellious boys, James Potter and Sirius Black. They were attracted by Remus’s quiet sense of humour and a kindness that they valued, even if they did not always possess it themselves"
Half my posts are rants, it's literally in the name of my url 😅😅 But I know which one you mean.
Oh, yeah, you're actually right here. It was pretty much Sirius we know about but I somehow thing it must have been a little bit from the others too. Especially because of the fact that Remus had actively started distancing himself. Oh, just imagine if Peter was intentionally slipping comments about it or something just so he can fully take the suspicion from himself away. And then... In reality I think Remus was mostly doing it to just keep them safe.
I'm not 100% sure if it's ever mentioned that someone outside of the Marauders, later Snape, and Dumbledore knew he's a werewolf. Maybe the other teachers, or some of them, but I highly doubt anyone in the first Order knew. In fact, maybe Lily didn't know. And I mentioned in another post how I think that maybe he hasn't seen Harry as a baby and this makes me feel so sad because he probably wanted to stay away.
But I'm not so sure here, I have to admit it's been a while since I read the books.
I fall into some downwards spiral about angsty thoughts but I actually don't like reading such fics xD Honestly, in this fandom I can swear 80% of them are either some angst or Major Character Death warning... I can't. If I want that, I'll reread the parts from the book xD
Oh, okay, that's a good point! We really don't know if there weren't other boys there. I just think, all dorms were kind of for 5 people and idk, if there are 5 students, they all gonna be in one. If there are 10 or less, they'll be in two, etc. So I suppose here the question is how many boys were in this year. (Tbh, I never really understood the roommates thing xD I somehow can't imagine having to share a room with someone for years and not becoming friends. Sure, for example Harry and Ron were best friends but I believe they considered the other friends too, just not as close. How would you otherwise trust these people with stuff like... Not touching your personal things or like, killing you in your sleep. Stuff like that. Also, it's otherwise kinda awkward.)
Thanks for pointing this out! I wasn't completely sure about it but I thought it's so. Now just imagine how everything must have felt even more awful for Remus in the end. But aoso this whole roommate thing would make lots of sense as to why he befriended Peter in the first place and later they all became friends.
Thanks for the ask and the info!!
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slowd1ving · 2 months ago
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Hi! Swanon here 🦢
I loved reading your yapping to my question. I feel like i understand your Moze much better now ! I love that he feels so much yet doesn't know what or why. Im so excited to get him in 3 days.
I also casually think about your dan heng fic that was the prologue to the blade one. And i had another question ! Hopefully, you dont mind. I was wondering if things would have gone Dan Hengs way if only he had confessed in that closet. I remember the protag was like annoyed at the thought of Dan Heng asking someone else to teach him the game, but then was ok with the friends with benefits arrangement.
Like would the protag have accepted, or had to have some time to think about it. Would the protag be more or less willing to move in with him. Also, would the Astral express ever tell the protag about Dan Heng's feelings, or do they respect his privacy that much. Would Kafka get in the way, or would she let things happen, however that goes.
I dont know if it's noticeable, but i love thinking about all the possibilities and timelines. Im also sorry for yapping. Take your time. I 6 read Ratios' fic yet, but im sure it will be a great read again. I just need to get in a Ratio mood, haha.
SWANANON HIII
I'm glad I was somewhat coherent in that longass Moze analysis since I have so many damn thoughts about this man. (I caved and used my pity for feixiao and got both of them; her playstyle is genuinely so fun?? sorry ratio lmao)
Speaking of that Dan Heng fic I was actually reading it today to just deconstruct how I write... crazy.. Honestly it would've absolutely gone his way had he confessed; when I tend to write an MC I usually lean to a somewhat blunt personality (that occasionally comes of as quite crude), so MC is someone who values communication. Alas, Dan Heng is nothing of the sort... alas. Sorrows and prayers. You're right, I did try to hint at MC's jealousy when thinking of Dan Heng pulling someone else into that closet, because both of them were sort of tiptoeing into 'feelings' territory. Dan Heng knew but was in verbose denial; MC just felt irritated about it and likely just blamed it on the drinks lmao.
Anyways with both the Dan Heng and Blade series, their lack of voicing how they feel about something makes them both veryyy entertaining to write for. Like quiet, simmering jealousy? Elite. MC's also written to be quite an intense and adaptable character to complement theirs, which is also why he doesn't mind being fwbs with both. (WENCH!!! VILLAGE WENCH!)
But again, the MCs I write tend to value dialogue more, while also brushing off any advances of characters. Therefore any feelings he had for either would've been pushed down subconsciously since both Dan Heng and Blade are SHIT at having heart to hearts.
Genuinely, in terms of a relationship, whoever confessed first would've had a better chance. Like MC has chemistry with both of them so it would've been quite easy to form a relationship with either, or at least I hope it reads that way. Yes, MC would've moved in with Dan Heng 100% (even in that one blade one he was READY to jump ship lmao).
To answer the Astral Express part, I feel like they wouldn't outright tell reader. Like they'd absolutely make fun of Dan Heng for it (and for his lack of game tbh.. because how is shitcommunication #2 confessing first... bro... one job.. you've got a chest in your mouth instead of WORDS). And Kafka... she's just there for the entertainment tbh; that one section where I included her just terrorising Dan Heng by being all touchy with MC... lmao she's fully using the best friend privileges just to kick this emotionally constipated doofus into action
But honestly, she's rooting for Blade 100%. It's just a consequence of being closer with him naturally (she'll support MC either way tbh); like the poor guy's smiling for once he no longer looks like a wet cat... please date this man... he has not smiled once since starting his engineering degree (joke) (not really) (this will be me next year)
Which is why she's helping him more proactively by essentially dragging the two of you together; like she's still kicking Dan Heng into realising his feelings by dragging you away from him, but that's away from him, unlike with Blade.
speaking of both of them there's actually a little both of them fic idea festering in my mind.... gosh... anyways...
for the alternate timelines, same. Not just because there's a grillion different ways for a scene to play out, but it's so intriguing to think what MC might've done differently. Bro MC getting caught with Blade by Dan Heng would be MAD icel. (...anyways)
ratio mentioned ratio mentioned
For the fic you're referring to there will be some slight aventurine / reader so... but honestly it's more focused on worldbuilding initially rather than romance
anyways slowd1ving yap has concluded I'm currently working on an inbox request and on chapter 4 of lament of ouroboros hell yeah
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i-sveikata · 1 year ago
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
You have no idea how immersed I was in this chapter. I'm still slightly shaking from all the emotions- just finished reading.
Even though I knew what should happen I still was so anxious about every next sentence!! I love you so much for keeping those scenes that most of us fell in love with in the series! Exact scenes and lines 🖤 The pool scene!!! (Although I'm so thankful that you left out "I'm hungry" 😂)
Really, reading Vegas's misery after only seeing adds up to a whole miserable image. Why can't these unhinged bastards have any peace for a moment!? I cried again reading how Pete had broken down so bad - I would too.
I did notice you left out the L-bomb Vegas said originally and I was secretly waiting for Pete to say that 👀 But ok, I can wait. They can do it in their own time not pressured by the necessity of events happening around them.
And the cliffhanger!! I knew there would be one but this kind? 🥲
I'm still thankful it's over now. The tension is not gone but bearable.
Chan ❤️ His death is what I couldn't forgive in the series so I'm glad he is ok.
And the ring!!! Omg! I really hope it stays on him or I will throw my hands on who may take it away!! It's almost like proposing 😅
I really loved how you managed to sneak so many fond and hot interactions between them while the world seemed to be on fire. But it works so well for them ❤️‍🔥
Anyway, I'm dead.
Thank you so much for this! Love you 🥺
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omg i cant believe it made you feel that much thats insane and makes me so happy to hear! lol yeah i did keep a lot of the core from the show and some of the translated lines but yeah the hungry part did not fit for the vibe of this fic because i never went into the pet/master version of the story because that really didnt interest me tbh.
oh yeah that was also intentional!! i wanted it to be in a less high stakes moment especially because most of the time the both of them are arguing/trying to leverage the other person's feelings and attractions against the other during the fight. like throwing in a love bomb in there would have felt too disingenuous (and im so sure that pete wouldnt have fully trusted it if vegas had)
yeah im sorry about that one i couldnt resist!!! just felt so funny to me the idea that pete spends his whole time worried about vegas- so hyped up on adrenaline that he doesnt even realise he himself has been shot. but i promise he'll be okay!! he'll totally recover faster than vegas thats for sure.
omg hahahaha yeah i literally noped out of that plot point. dead chan? never heard of the concept.
yessssss the ring!!! so much of vegas staking his claim on pete in really obvious ways- he is not holding back at all now that he's noticed pete's actions changing towards him. and its going to be really interesting when the other realise that pete is wearing the ring.
hahahahahahaha LITERALLY but like was so fun and amusing at the same time somehow? like i guess murder and the world being on fire makes them horny gahefjagkhflgsghj
ahhh youre so welcome! love you right back :)
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onwriting-hrarby · 2 years ago
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theres so many good things i could say about sunshine and rainbows honestly its so hard to pick a favourite part!! but for me, i really really loved when it was the performance night at the end, and we watched it in erens pov. like legit my heart fluttered at the way the author wrote it, i could truly honestly feel how high up against the world mikasa is seen by eren, the genuine way his whole heart and soul believes her to be his only goddess. that particular scene the way it was decribed and executed was so magical to me. they’re two very different scenes, but that scene had as much impact and magic on me as that scene in “instead they said” where em makes love in the sea!! so incredible so much depth and beauty. i literally held my breath youre so good
but i think the angst as sad as it was really was what kept me hooked to sunshine and rainbow. i legit felt like i was torturing myself reading mikasas pov after she caught eren and hisu. legit tears in my eyes and my heart ached so baaad. that level of insecurity and feeling of inadequacy mikasa felt had felt so horrible even to me as a reader. theres just something so vile in the feeling of betrayal and jealousy and how it eats on your skin. (tbh i looooove reading that in em fanfics, it hurts so bad but its such good angst😩 idk why i keep torturing myself)
but yeah same here, i wouldve probably reacted like sasha, it was actually hard for me to empathise with hisu even because in earlier chapters she wasnt really that nice to mikasa. i believe sunshine and rainbows mikasa is an actually whole saint to have sympathised and requested eren to go talk and apologise to hisu, not sure if i wouldve done that myself no ones built like mikasa lol. but yeah i do commend the way the author had somewhat villainize historia (in a writing perspective) where its hard to completely empathise with this character knowing what shes like in other scenes. now that i think about it, her flawed character reminds me of RJ historia where we cant fully empathise with her because she had some inherent racism herself right? like the way she viewed RJ mikasa or compared her struggle to poc’s and minorities. its like a hate love relationship between us and its characters. i love love love it when writers really make you think about how you feel about a character
sorry im rabbling, please stop me if you dont feel comfortable!!
Oh please, not at all, I love rambling AND i love interacting, so feel free!
You're completely right about Mikasa's pov after cheating!!! I had forgotten about that chapter and I really liked the way the author relied on just one sentence that Mikasa kept repeating to ensure that angst and confusion. I've never been in a cheatin situation but I have felt the inequacy of being you multiple times, and it hit hard. I could empathize with Mikasa much more than with Eren in that fic, mostly because I am tired of the "I'm so hurt I'm not a good person" narrative. I've had some friends who went through something similar to Eren, and they kind of passed their bad behaviour through hurt. But for me, there are no excuses to hurt others. I did empatize with Historia, though! I have been in competitive groups like dancing and that kind of relationships exists, and the way it was portrayed it felt very real that H and M wouldn't have had a good relationship because Historia feels threatened. I don't feel that Mikasa was a saint, though, because the cheating was Eren's fault, not Historia!
Yes, it's a hate-love relationship with our characters snd the way we craft them, and I think that' the beauty of not creating purely good characters or people. We humans are not pure at all! We might want good things but we also hurt a lot. It's complicated to manage expectation as readers, too! But those kind of stories that made us feel all wrong are the best because we get to go deep inside a character enough to be willing to understand them, while we would have turned the other way in real life.
(Ps: thank you very much for your nice words about Rj and ITS! I can't believe someone remembers that fic. I am torn about uploading it again but I want my sis to read it before so I know whether to turn it into a novel or not!)
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newtonsheffield · 4 years ago
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okay so i don’t think words can describe how much i loved ‘Goose’. That chapter is so beautiful and im so happy for these fictional characters ( david can suck it).
I wonder if how matthew and eddie continue the wednesday tradition with an older (toddler and maybe speaking) edmund? cause that’s all my heart wants.
side note ‘Goose and Eddie’ would be an amazing name for a romantic 90s-2000s sitcom or a romcom movie
Okay! I cannot tell you how relieved I am about how much everyone seems to be enjoying Goose! This fic was a largely selfish venture because I made myself fall in love with Matthew Goose Bagwell who just met a girl in the museum who was smart and funny, and she made little puns about dinosaurs to her Nephew who had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, and fell a little desperately in love with the way her nose crinkled when she smiled and had no idea that she was that Edwina. The Edwina Sheffield who by this time had been voted England’s most beautiful woman thrice in a row. And then I think like a grand total of 1 person asked to see more about them and I forced this fic upon you all, in true Molly Fashion!  
David can get Wreckkkkkked. He never deserved Edwina and after she was with Matthew, take comfort in the fact that Edwina fully realised how ... unsatisfied she’d been by him. (Get it Girl) 
And YES I want to watch “Goose and Eddie”! I want to watch this fic that I wrote as a romantic comedy tbh. Is that vain? Probably. 
Now, I fully, subscribe to the fact that Edwina still takes Edmund to the museum every week, and then miles, and then Charlotte and her own Daughter Sarah, and Mary, and eventually her son. And Matthew takes a long lunch and sits with his wife’s family, more than content to watch Kate’s manic children run all over his office little hands grabbing at everything within reach.
“Auntie Eddie! Edmund is pushing!” Miles’ tiny voice called out as she shut the car door. Edwina sighed, turning towards her Nephews, Edmund looking very innocently back at her. “I wasn’t!” He said, the charming smile Anthony used to get away with things fixed on his face, slightly startling on a boy barely three years old. Edwina fixed them with her sternest look despite how adorable they looked, Miles’ electric blue glasses strapped to his face, An astronaut on his shirt. Edmund’s shoes flashing brightly as he tapped his foot excitedly. “Boys we have to behave, otherwise we’re going straight home, and Grandma Mary will probably make broccoli for lunch.” Both boys wrinkled their noses and Edwina had to bite back a laugh as though her mother would ever force Kate’s children to eat anything they didn’t like. Mary Sheffield had been a very kind mother, but stern when needed. Grandma Mary didn’t know the meaning of the word. Kate’s boys seemed to have her wrapped tightly in their little fists, all of them were trapped there really. 
“Okay, then, Hold hands.” She said, holding her hands out for the boys to take, making their way down the street to the museum. “When Mummy has the new baby, are you going to bring her with us?” Edmund asked as they made their way. Edwina hummed. “Probably. What makes you so sure it’s a girl Neddy?” Edmund grinning at the nickname only she used. Eddie to Neddy she always said when she told him faux secrets and his little face lit up with joy. “Because I already have Milo. So now I need a sister, like Mummy has you.” He said, shrugging as though that made perfect sense. Edwina chuckled to herself as they came through the door, the boys both grinning excitedly just like always.
“Where’s Uncle Matty?” Miles said, tugging on her arm as he looked around the foyer scanning for him. “Uncle Matt can’t meet us today, sweetheart. He’s a little busy setting up something new to show us next week.” Edwina said, her heart clenching at the way both boys pouted. Edmund sighed, “Is it gonna be cool?” He said sceptically a crease forming between his tiny eyebrows, and Edwina had to bite back a laugh. “I think it will be very cool.”  “Well I suppose that’s okay.” He said as though that quite settled the matter tugging his aunt and brother in the direction he had decided they should go.
“It’s bigger than Uncle Ben!” Miles practically shrieked in delight as he looked at the triceratops skeleton his little legs moving with excitement just like it always did. And Edwina felt her heart skip. This was why she loved bringing them here, watching their little faces light up with excitement, watching them discover and learn new things, it was truly beautiful. And a strange sense of longing welled in her chest. Matthew was enough for her, really he was, but recently she couldn’t stop imagining him with their own children rather than Kate’s. He was so patient and kind with them, and god she just wanted. But she’d chickened out every time the thought had pushed at the back of her throat.
“Excuse me, Miss?” A familiar voice said behind her, bringing a smile to her lips “It’s not usually my specialty but maybe I could give you a hand.”  Edwina turned to find her husband grinning broadly, his hair flopping into his eyes, that were shining at her in the bright lighting, and her breath caught a little. But even so, “Mmmm, thanks but, no. I’m waiting for my husband.” Matthew laughed. “Ooof he must be a lucky man.” He said as he leaned in and pressed his lips lightly to hers only to be interrupted by Edmund sprinting headlong into Matthew’s legs. “Uncle Goose! Auntie Eddie said you weren’t coming!” His little voice cried out excitedly and Edwina’s heart stuttered as Matthew Crouched down and let out a little honk at his nickname, grinning broadly as Miles barrelled into him as well. “Hmmm Auntie Eddie can be very silly.” He said shooting her a quick wink. “How could I not see my favourite palaeontologists today?!” both boys grinned excitedly, tugging him towards the skeleton
“Triceratops has 800 teeth!” Miles called out and Matthew gasped theatrically  “No way, Milo! You’re making that up!” Matthew said and Edwina thought, in that moment that she couldn’t be any more thankful that this man had bumped into her just a few feet away.
And that night, when the thought pushed at the back of her throat as they sat on the sofa, his head resting lightly in her lap, she let it fall out.  “Matt, I want to have a baby.” Matthew’s eyes softened as he looked up at her  “Yeah?” He said lightly his eyes staring into hers carefully. And she forced herself to nod, as nervous butterflies beat against her stomach. And then her heart skipped as a broad smile spread over his face. “Then let’s have a baby, honey.”         
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innittowinit · 4 years ago
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Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (Chapter 19)
Fic summary: 
Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers
That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?
Chapter summary:
Eret's been acting...strange Techno senses somethings definitely off
Chapter word count: 1726
AO3
Friendships were a complex thing. Techno had known that as long as he could remember. People come and people go, it was nothing, especially not to him or Wilbur. Inherently, they knew all they had was each other, maybe their other brothers would also always be with them but what they had together was a special bond. Neither Phil nor Tommy would ever be able to understand them the way they understood each other and that was fine, they had lived every day side by side, they shared almost all their core memories and so their rationality was incredibly similar because of it, meaning they could very easily understand each other. 
Never had they asked for a friend that would feel the same way as the friendship they had with each other, and yet they always seemed to be asking for too much. That’s the part that confused Techno. 
Never had they needed to be understood. Never had they needed something complex. All they needed was someone to accept them so why did it feel like everyone always ended up leaving? Were they the problem? It always felt like they were trying so hard so why did it feel like they were pushing people away? 
You see, recently Eret had been acting….off. 
He had been stumbling over words, fidgeting, leaving quickly with the excuse of ‘being late for something’, and taking hours to reply to any kind of message. Each of these things would be fine on their own but with them all together, they felt a little strange. 
It didn’t seem like Wilbur had noticed the recent shift in behaviour yet so Techno didn’t dare bring it up, it wasn’t uncommon that he was overly cautious and he didn’t want to risk upsetting his brother over something that might not even be a big deal, especially when he had just started to get over the incident with the ticket booth. 
“So....He’s been busy a lot lately” Wilbur sighed, draping himself across the couch and clutching his phone in one hand. Niki had insisted they add some stickers onto it since letting them live off a ‘boring flip phone’ (as she had called it) was apparently not okay.
“Do you think he’s okay? Maybe something’s going on at home..”
Oh. Techno was positive everything was okay at home. Of course there was a possibility that he was just being protective of Wilbur because he didn’t want anyone hurting his brother but seriously! In his opinion, if you had enough money to eat fucking burger king as a school lunch you were doing fine financially, and really, that’s all that mattered right? Money had always been the reason why their parents were never around.
It was probably just his jealousy talking but he had always had a bit of an underlying anger for people with a big disposable income, how was it fair that their parents had to work so much at minimum wage jobs that they could hardly see them just to keep them warm and fed and yet other families could have their parents around by the time they were home from school /and/ have extra money for treats.
“Wil, don’t worry about him.” Techno sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. He knew Wilbur was always more sensitive to rejection than him.
“He’s more..social than we are, he probably just has other friends that he doesn’t want to ignore or something”
“Maybe.. I wish he’d tell us though, I don’t like being left on read” 
With a sigh and a gentle prod for him to sit up a bit more, Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, feeling how he melted into the contact straight away. Of course it hurt Techno too to be ignored by the one person they thought actually could be a good friend but he needed to put on a brave face for Wilbur. Of course it felt like a stab in the gut to have trusted someone so much to be able to start talking to them and then they just disappear but Wilbur needed him right now, it was obvious to anyone that he was the one with the bigger connection issues. 
“Wil, trusting people is a part of being friends. We can talk to him tomorrow alright? And we can explain that it would make you feel better if he said his plans before disappearing”
-----
It was Tuesday night and other than a few memes she had screenshotted off of instagram and sent them, they hadn’t really heard much at all from Eret. She hadn’t hung around them long enough at school for either of them to really bring it up with her and honestly, Techno was getting incredibly worried about what was going on. He’d never had a real friend like this before, of course Skeppy always made him laugh but he was family so he didn’t count, if he messed up with family he knew as long as they weren’t adults they’d still love him afterwards, friends worked differently though. He had his Hypixel friends too but they didn’t count either since they were online and he could type to them on days when he was struggling more. By now he’d known them so long they were basically family, they’d all taken hours out of their own time to research Techno’s problems to try and be as accommodating as possible- all in all he really couldn't compare them with Eret.
It was tricky and he knew communication was one of the more important parts, which was ironically what he struggled with the most. Maybe on one of his worse-off days, where he normally would have had Wilbur doing most of the talking for him, Eret had assumed he was angry with her or giving her the silent treatment, maybe she had taken offence to the fact that Wilbur and Techno were very obviously closer than she was with each one of them. The thought that somehow they might have made her feel left out made him feel a little sick, had they not explained well enough what had led to this point? Maybe it was selfish for them to relish in the fact that she rarely bugged them for explanations.
All in all, Techno was sure they had done something for the sudden shift in attitude and, not wanting to make Wilbur feel worse than he already did, he wasn’t sure who could help him. 
Maybe he could wait up until his parents got home? People on TV were always getting advice from them but then again.. His family wasn’t really like those on tv, if he was being honest he was half sure he’d be yelled at for being awake before he could have a chance to ask for help. 
He could also ask Phil, but then again Phil was already beyond stressed trying to make sure they were all okay, he really didn’t want to bother him. Niki was closer to Wilbur than she was with him and he was sure his hypixel friends were all still at school because of the time zone difference. 
The only other person he could really think of talking to about this was Skeppy, and so, hopping out of bed, trying his hardest not to make too much noise and wake up Wilbur, he made his way to the PC. 
11:36PM 
From what he knew, Skeppy usually stayed up late and slept so late he often missed his bus anyway so he probably was still up.
Clicking onto discord, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the green dot next to his cousin's icon, immediately messaging him. 
11:36 OrphanDestroyer: Hey nerd
11:36 OrphanDestroyer: U awake?
It took a few minutes for him to answer, Techno was just about ready to give up and accept he had just chosen the one night he may have gone to bed on time to try and message him.
11:42 japanesesymbolforbeginner: 1 sec ina call wiv bbh 
Writing ‘bbh’ off as one of Skeppy’s friends he had forgotten to tell them about, Techno waited patiently for Skeppy to say he was free. 
11:46 japanesesymbolforbeginner: ok im done, what you need
11:46 OrphanDestroyer: SO
11:46 OrphanDestroyer: Do you remember Eret?
11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Okay well basically for like the past few days he’s been ignoring me and Wilbs and I’m really really worried we offended him or something like maybe we hurt him or he’s mad or maybe he decided he's too good to be friends with us which tbh I don't blame him for because we kinda are losers and maybe people won't be friends with him because he's friends with us or something? Idk idk I just really wish he’d tell us something because like Wil is freaking out and idk what to tell him, he really struggles with this kinda stuff and I wanna help but idk how. 
11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Ok...fuck
11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Has he replied to any messages or anything? Maybe he’s busy?
11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Not really 
11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Okay okay so here’s what I think you should do
11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If he’s ignoring you you're gonna need to confront him next time you see him and don’t just agree when he makes an excuse to leave, like say you NEED to talk
11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If u think he’s offended bc sometimes you don't speak a lot maybe just message him some resources or whatever on the type of mutism you deal with, even if he doesn’t reply he’ll probably still open it.
11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: like he might just be in the position where he’s nervous he’ll offend you if he asks something about it? Like maybe he doesn't understand fully and he just needs one of you to open the discussion 
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: okay you're probably right
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: There’s a link I have to one I normally email teachers whenever we have a new one so i'll probably send him that
11:50 OrphanDestroyer: Tomorrow though, my dads gonna be home soon and he’ll kill me if im still awake 
11:51 japanesesymbolforbeginner: aight, night Techno, good luck and btw you're all always welcome to come over if things get tense over there with ur parents
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nebula-plays-cyberpunk · 4 years ago
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pairing: Kerry Eurodyne x Male!V , Johnny Silverhand x Female!V word count: 5864 summary: V and Valley have a discussion and Valley and Johnny drink coffee sorta notes: Hello it’s me again. Back at it with another chapter. I love everyone who even glances at this fic tbh and I love you all. Also self reblog of chapter 1 too before this so :p
Play with Fire — 01 | . . |
AOO Link!
With some coaxing, Valley and V were ushered inside. The wind had picked up and it was getting far colder than V was prepared for. V’s face hurt but not as much as the ache in his heart at what he did to Valley. Valley walked and sat on the couch near the front door, her arms crossed tightly and motioning for V to sit. Kerry brought over a washcloth and cleaned his face off as he sat on the coffee table across from Valley. “Valley, by the way.” Valley muttered up at Kerry. Kerry raised an eyebrow back at her, glancing over at V. Johnny’s chuckle was the only thing that was heard. “Kerry.” Kerry replied back, looking V’s face over once more before walking away to grab an ice bag. “All right.” Valley stated, looking at V. “Spill.” Valley muttered lowly. V let out a small sigh, leaning his elbows on his knees.
“The big heist...the one that was supposed to make me rich and legendary, remember?” V asked, looking back at Valley who nodded. “Went to shit.” V started. “Got this ‘Relic’ that was so expensive, but things got fucked when Saburo Arasaka was killed by Yorinobu Arasaka and me and -” V stopped himself, the feeling nearly overwhelming him as he remembered even just the smallest thing about Jackie. Kerry walked back over with an ice pack and sat beside V. V sighed at the cool package against his face. Kerry made V hold the ice pack, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, staying for a moment longer, looking at V to tell him what to do. V shook his head and nodded. Kerry only nodded back, standing up and kissing his head and going upstairs. An unspoken understanding...Kerry had a long flight to get back a day early to surprise V. “Listen, the heist went to shit and Jackie died, okay?” V snapped, feeling the anger boil in his blood. Valley’s face quickly changed from the stoic look to a much softer one. V hated it. Didn’t want to feel sympathy. Spent nearly 8 months not letting it get to him...not letting himself really...V shook his head. “V.” Valley stated softly, making the knot in Valley’s chest tighten. V quickly grabbed hold of the bottle of Centzon and opened it, taking a long drink. When he opened his eyes, Valley had her own eyes shut. She hated it when he drank...but V needed it. Needed it anytime he talked about Jackie… “Shoved a biochip in my head that was considered the Relic, then was betrayed by my fixer and shot in the head.” V continued his explanation, taking another long drink from the bottle before Johnny grabbed the thing from him. “Hey!” V snapped, as Johnny walked around him and sat on the opposite end of the couch Valley sat at. “Woke up in a landfill.” Johnny began, closing the lid on the bottle. “With me in his head.” Johnny continued, placing the bottle down beside him. “Had to have some serious stuff done to get ‘im back to functioning...well, sort of functioning.” Johnny said, leaning back and spreading his legs out. “See, that Relic in his head saved his sorry ass from becoming worm food.” Johnny continued, obviously living off the attention he was getting. V rolled his eyes. “It saved me and then started killin’ me.” V grumbled back, pulling Valley’s attention back to him. “Biochip in my head had a personality construct on it. Which was Johnny Silverhand’s.” V stated, gesturing back at Johnny. Valley looked between the two, obviously confused. “So...you’re telling me that...that he’s like, legit, Johnny Silverhand.” Valley asked, pointing over at Johnny as he sat on the couch end opposite of her own. “Out of all the questions…” V muttered lowly, pulling the ice pack from his face before hissing from the cool air that hit it afterwards and putting it back on. “Technically, I’m a clone with my own construct put into it.” Johnny said helpfully from the sidelines. V sent a glare back at him while Valley chuckled. “See, the reason the biochip in V’s head was killin’ him was because when he got shot, he died, so the biochip thought V was just a corpse. So when V woke up, the biochip started killin’ all the good parts of him, brain neurons, functioning organs later on and so on.” Johnny shrugged casually. “Relic was gonna override his personality with mine...Started to slowly become one another until my construct had taken over fully.” Johnny continued far too casually for V’s liking. V glared back at him once more. Johnny rolled his eyes. “Hey, you’re obviously alive and well, so the story has a good ending.” Johnny snarked back when he caught sight of V’s face. V rolled his eyes, turning back towards Valley. “Johnny and I…” V began and stopped, thinking for a moment. “It was like our minds were touching.” V began to try and explain what had happened with Johnny. “He could see my memories and I could see his. He was like this little ear worm in my head; only thing was that I was the only one who could hear the fucker. Only I could see him. And the more time that went on, the more in control he seemed.” V explained uneasily, still feeling an urge for a cigarette, even now. “Took some pills to keep him from fully takin’ over, gave him the reins sometimes. He knew me and I knew him.” V shrugged, not even wanting to look over at Johnny. “Take a bullet for him.” V said, now glancing back at the man in question. It was soft and almost invisible, but V could see Johnny’s smile. Valley remained silent, simply watching the exchange. “Had to go through a bunch of fuckin’ hoops to get to anyone who could even remotely help me. Ended up getting in contact with Hanako Arasaka for some help.” V muttered. Valley let out a scoff, folding her arms and leaning back into the couch. V raised an eyebrow at her. “Got out of Arasaka’s lair only to be lured back in?” Valley asked with venom in her words. V rolled his eyes back at her. “What’d you have to do, V, sell your soul?” Valley snapped back, sitting up a bit to make sure he knew she was pissed. Always was good at making him feel guilty. “Almost.” V joked but quickly shut his mouth with the glare that Valley sent back. “All I had to do was not kill Yorinobu Arasaka when I got into Arasaka Towers to get into their mainframe which held a totally different construct that wasn’t even really a construct, that helped split Johnny and I up since the biochip was slowly taking over my body and I was slowly becoming him.” V explained thoroughly, yet quickly. It was nearly 5 am. He wanted to get some rest… “So, got that figured out, and Johnny gave me my body back-” “Not without you trying to beat my cyberdata ass to a pulp.” Johnny muttered from the side. V sent a stern glare back at him, indicating for him to shut up. Johnny rolled his eyes, putting up his hands defensively. “I was put back into my body, but I just couldn’t accept that this stupid fuckin’ rockerboy that had been in my head for nearly 2 months was gone.” V explained, glancing back at Johnny. “So, I spent the next 5 months finding out a way to save the both of us, since I was still dying at the time before we even got to the idea of cloning.” V continued explaining himself. Valley sat deadly quiet as she listened. “Came to me when I got in a street fight in Kabuki, tryin’ to just forget that I was still dyin’... Fought these two twins that had split their personalities into two bodies. Didn’t really have a twin, but the idea of clones came to mind...So I thought, why couldn’t I just create a clone? So I did...with a lot of people’s help.” V explained, feeling a little giddy at all that had happened. He saved himself, but most importantly, he saved Johnny Silverhand. “Created clones of me and Silverhand, switched out our engrams into the clones, bimbamboom, we’re both alive and, well, in bodies that won’t rot away. One’s that we both have our own control over.” V said with a small smile that quickly faded as he looked over at Valley. Valley was looking down at her hands. Her jaw tight, her mouth clenched shut, one of her legs was bouncing anxiously. “Why didn’t you call?” Valley asked, the question knocking the wind out of V’s high that he had from just thinking about his brilliant plan. Valley didn’t look up. V felt the knot in his chest move to his throat. “I didn’t want to worry you.” V muttered, rubbing the back of his neck hesitantly. Valley quickly looked up at him and glared. “Bullshit.” Valley snapped freezing V in his spot. “If you didn’t want to worry me, you’d have picked up your stupid fuckin’ holo...given me a fuckin’ lie.” Valley continued, suddenly standing up from her anger. “Hey Val, it’s been hella busy here, how’s it goin’, how’s life? I’m doin’ okay, just busy.” Valley snapped aloud, mimicking his own voice as she started pacing in front of the couch she had once been sat on. V looked down for a moment. “Val I-” “He was a fucking mess.” Johnny said aloud, stopping Valley from pacing and made both V and Valley look his way. “After Jackie died, all V did for a month was gig after gig after gig.” Johnny explained and V felt his skin crawl. “Didn’t take care of himself, ignored everyone’s calls, besides fixers givin’ him jobs. Only reason he knew about Jackie’s funeral was because his mom messaged V and told him that the funeral was on a certain day and then on that day, V finally picked up the holo.” Johnny explained, sitting up a bit, looking over at V. V could tell he felt a little bad about telling Valley all of this for V’s sake, but not as much as V would have liked him to feel. “Went to his funeral and started gettin’ his shit together. Started focusin’ on getting the chip out of his head and started figuring out how to do that.” Johnny shrugged, leaning back once more. Valley didn’t seem as pleased with the explanation...and why would she be. “How did…” Valley began, looking down for a moment before looking back over at Johnny. “Your minds touched and you both saw memories of the other…” Valley muttered aloud. “How...why didn’t you know who I was?” Valley asked, sounding pathetically sad. V felt the sharp intake of breath enter his nostrils. Johnny looked at Valley for a moment before glancing over at V. “There’s certain memories we both didn’t let the other see.” Johnny shrugged. “I didn’t show him certain memories of my past and he kept most of his childhood locked up pretty tightly.” Johnny explained truthfully. V looked back over at Valley hesitantly. Valley looked at Johnny before sitting back down on the couch. “I’m pretty sure I’d remember a pretty face like yours.” Johnny stated seriously, making V snap his head back towards him and glare as Johnny smirked and winked back at Valley. Luckily, V didn’t turn his head back to Valley before seeing Johnny get hit in the face with a pillow. V chuckled softly, looking back at Valley. Valley had the usual pink across her cheeks now, the one that always spread across her cheeks and nose from any kind of comment like Johnny’s, bringing out the dark colors of her freckles only seemed to grow in numbers from years in the sun. “I mean, you said that you both liked Samurai growing up, I just assumed that, you know, with the assumption I’ve been with V I could get with his sist-” Now V threw a pillow at Johnny. Light laughter filled the air as Johnny caught the other pillow. “Val, you’re welcome to the couch, Johnny, you’re welcome to fuck off.” V said, shaking his head, feeling the knots throughout him subside, even just for a moment. V stood up and walked towards the stairs. “I got a compromise.” Johnny said and V could already feel the comment coming as he stopped on the first step, looking back at Johnny. “Valley girl and I both get the couch and fuck off on-” Johnny said aloud before Valley quickly got up and grabbed a pillow, shoving the thing over his face. V shook his head as he watched V slowly suffocate Johnny with a pillow as he continued to laugh under it. V shook his head as he walked up the stairs. A thud made him look down at the scene. Johnny had grabbed the pillow and was now trying to suffocate Valley on the floor. “You got this Val?” V asked as he leaned against the railings. A moment of mumbling passed before Johnny let out a sharp hiss of pain, reaching for his junk and falling backwards. Valley rolled backwards and stood up, jumping just a little as she did. “Yup!” Valley called back up, giving him a thumbs up. As V turned, he could see that Johnny had gotten back up and went to tackle Valley, but V didn’t hear another thud when Kerry walked out of the bathroom and leaned over the railing. “It is now getting close to 5 am.” Kerry snapped, pulling everyone’s attention up to him as he leaned against the railing. “Listen, I’m an aging rockstar who needs his beauty rest, so please, would everyone, shut. The. Fuck. Up!” Kerry snapped. V only got a glimpse of Johnny flipping Kerry off and V doing the same, with Johnny holding onto the collar of Valley’s trenchcoat before Kerry grabbed onto V’s shirt collar. “And you-” Kerry snapped, pulling V into the bathroom. “I don’t think I said I was done with you.” Kerry purred as he closed the bathroom door behind him. 
***
Valley sat in a lawn chair looking out at the city. Her trenchcoat was wrapped tightly around her as her knees went up to her chest, trying to keep the warmth in. It was getting colder and V could see her breath as she sat in silence. The city never really ‘slept’, but at 6:30 in the morning, there was a lull about the neon city. Valley didn’t sleep. She rarely did whenever she had to come to Night City and despite V’s nice and safe and fancy penthouse, it didn’t help. Her mind was buzzing far too much. Her skin crawled, or maybe it was a shiver, Valley didn’t know the difference at this point. She never really felt at home in her own skin after all the shit that went down. Could only blow up and torch so many shitty places before feelin’ like the shitpile never ended. “Does it get any colder?” Valley flinched as a voice broke the semi-quiet atmosphere. Valley turned and looked at who was talking. Johnny Silverhand. Not just some impersonator, no, the real one. It was still a little baffling. The only good thing about V not mentioning / keeping Valley locked away in his memories from Silverhand was that he would 100% use most of her childhood teenage rebellion to tease her. Could honestly use most of her childhood to tease her. “Been dead for a good 50 years.” Johnny muttered aloud, now wearing what looked like an old Samurai jacket. Valley didn’t say a word regarding that. Didn’t need him knowing how obsessed she had become at one point with the band. “Still have that little piece of ice in Antarctica?” Johnny asked, plopping himself down in the lawn chair besides her. Valley raised an eyebrow at him, noticing the steaming mug in his hand. “Not the real thing.” Valley said, shaking her head, putting her feet down as he spread himself out. Seemed to be a trademark of his... “Have some artificial ice blocks up there they watch. Put new ones in recently, may be why it’s gettin’ so fuckin’ cold.” Valley shrugged, making sure her trenchcoat stayed tightly around her to keep the cold out. “This how you used to get girls back in the day, Silverhand? Talkin’ about the weather?” Valley teased back at him. “No,” Johnny said with a shake of his head. “But is it workin’?” Johnny asked playfully back, making Valley snort and shake her head. “Nope. Have to do a little better than askin’ about the weather.” Valley sassed back. “Plus, negative points for walking out here with only one cup of coffee and not two.” Valley pouted playfully back, keeping the fluttering in her stomach from spreading across her face at the look he gave back. Valley had seen some old footage of Samurai on stage and off stage and interviews and far too many other clips that she scoured the net for, but none had actually prepared her for seeing the real Johnny Silverhand in person and none would prepare her for how he looked at her like he could devour her in a minute. “V doesn’t drink coffee, and I’m not about to waste coffee with Kerry around. He’ll lose his fuckin’ head.” Johnny snarked back, taking an obnoxious sip of coffee after staring at Valley for a moment longer than she knew was appropriate. “Ahh, the expensive shit.” Johnny exclaimed aloud, making Valley glare back at him with a huff. “You know, princess, there is more on the pot inside.” Johnny said, kicking his feet up against the railing that was close to the lawn chairs. “Stay out of the armoury though.” Johnny warned playfully. Valley let out a groan as she stood up and stretched. She had been sitting in the shitty little lawn chair since V went to bed...or at least said he was. Valley got a little tired of hearing soft moans and went outside. Johnny had decided to take the couch anyway and despite sort of wanting to take him up on the offer to share the couch, she went outside instead. “Jesus, how much fuckin’ jizz do they have?” Valley grumbled, leaning back against the rail and popping her back. Valley shut her eyes at the sensation. Johnny snorted. “You want the honest answer? ‘Cause I can tell you how much both-” Johnny got out as Valley’s eyes snapped back open. “No!” Valley snapped, already walking towards the house. Johnny’s laugh was a lot louder than she would have liked. She knew he wasn’t kidding and she wasn’t about to hear the statistics of her brother and his lover’s cum to jizz ratio. Valley shivered at the thought as she got back into the house. Another little shiver ran up her spine from the warmth as she walked into the kitchen, making sure to avoid the armoury door like the plague and keeping her ears closed, deciding to hum quietly to keep her mind occupied. Valley went over and began opening cabinets before finding a mug she could use. Valley poured the near black liquid into the mug, smelling the roasted bean juice aroma and nearly laughing at her own stupid description of it. Valley took a sip and nodded, before turning to walk back outside. It was expensive. Well, Valley was used to cheap shit from vending machines, so this tasted like pure caffeine which was obviously a lot more expensive than anything Valley was used to. She’d be jumping off the walls in an hour. Maybe with it being expensive, that would keep her from needing to shit her guts out as well. Valley walked to her seat, slowing down as the sun was beginning to peek through the buildings. Something so eerily calm about seeing the sun blocked out by buildings compared to being woken up by how bright it was while on the road. It depended on where she was, but she remembered the Midwest with its open and deserted planes being extra bright. Usually stayed around there. That’s where it was most calm. Valley took a breath in as she continued walking. “Future reference, Silverhand.” Valley muttered, walking and shoving Johnny’s feet from the railing and walking to sit on the chair she had claimed earlier. Johnny sent a sharp look her way. “No matter what kind, just a plain black coffee for me.” Valley stated snobbishly as she sat down in her chair as eloquently as one could in a trenchcoat and tight jeans. “Good to know.” Johnny muttered aloud as Valley took a sip of the coffee once more, trying not to burn her tongue. “That mean we’ll be spendin’ more early mornings or late nights together?” Valley nearly choked. Johnny only chuckled lowly. “Hey, that’s not a yes or no. Didn’t you say that you and V liked Samurai? I’m just sayin’, princess, V has Kerry and you can easily have m-” Valley forced the coffee down as she tried not to choke on the hot coffee before reaching over and shoving him as hard as she could. To her delight, the lawn chair tipped over and down went Johnny Silverhand...and his coffee. Valley didn’t even try to hide the cackling that left her throat as she watched the expensive coffee spill onto the terrace. “Bein’ dead really has slowed down your reflexes, huh, Silverhand?” Valley snarked, watching as he glared back at her. Valley felt herself moving automatically as she stood up, already feeling some type of retaliation coming. “Need I remind you of Kerry’s expensive coffee?” Valley sassed as she began walking backwards as Johnny practically hopped up, staring back at her. “Would have if mine weren’t all over the fuckin’ ground.” Johnny muttered aloud, already walking towards her. Fuck it felt more like stalking. Valley kept one hand out in front of her as she continued walking backwards, taking another long drink of the coffee, hoping it would give her a jolt of energy. Valley turned and quickly walked around through the front door of the house. “I’m just tryin’ to teach you a valuable lesson, Johnny dear.” Valley snarked as she felt her heart flutter seeing how quickly he had caught up to her. “Mhm, and what’s that?” Johnny asked in a near growl. Valley bit her tongue as she stopped in her tracks, letting Johnny walk fully up to her as they stood just inside the house, the front door shutting behind Johnny. Valley kept the gulp from being visible as she looked at him. He was a lot taller than she was. Her optics said he was about 186 centimeters tall, while she knew she was 161 on a good day. Even with her combat boots, that only gave her an extra 5cm to her height, so it wasn’t that helpful. The way he looked at her was once again a factor of why she bit her tongue. Valley took in a deep breath. She wasn’t about to let any of that distract her from being an absolute shithead. Valley grabbed his jacket lightly and pulled him down, making sure to keep from being drawn in by how dark his eyes looked at the action...or in general. “Never let your guard down.” Valley nearly whispered before sweeping his feet from under him and stepping around him as he fell. “Oh, you are such a fuckin’ cunt.” Johnny snapped loudly as Valley turned, walking backwards towards the kitchen. “‘Course I am!” Valley chirped happily as he slowly got up, rubbing his back. “I have one so may as well be one!” Valley snarked, sticking out her tongue and winking at him. Valley could hear his chuckle and felt herself smile as she turned back around and walked into the kitchen area, drinking the rest of her coffee before putting the mug into the sink. “Val, do you ever sleep?” Valley turned, looking up the stairs and saw V slowly coming down them with an awful bedhead...and a large black eye. Luckily, his nose wasn’t broken...or at least too broke to fix that Valley could see. Valley felt a little bad...but only a little. Valley shook her head. “Nope! Not in this shithole of a city.” Valley chirped back up at him with a smile. V let out a sharp groan. “You look like shit.” Valley smiled cheerfully as Johnny walked into the kitchen, empty mug in hand, sending a sharp glare towards Valley. V rolled his eyes. At the comment, at Johnny, at all of it. “Yeah, well, someone decided that I needed the shit kicked out of me.” V muttered, walking over and grabbing a mug before filling it with coffee. “Hey, there’s a dishwasher for a reason.” V grumbled as Johnny tried to put his mug into the sink. “Both of you, there’s a dishwasher.” V grumbled, grabbing Johnny’s mug from his hand and grabbing Valley’s mug from the sink, waving the mugs at the both of them before putting them in the dishwasher. “Fuckin’ kids.” V muttered, pouring 2 creams and 3 sugar packets into the coffee. Valley nearly gagged at the concoction. “Hey dickhead, I’m older than you are.” Johnny snarked, leaning against the kitchen’s island. Valley could see the small cut on his cheek from where she had punched him. Plus she had elbowed Kerry Eurodyne in the face too. Man, she was just beating the shit out of everyone huh. V rolled his eyes back at Johnny. “Technically, you’re only a week old.” V snarked, sipping his coffee before grimacing and going back for more sugar. “Or a prehistoric creature, if you want to go by your birthday.” Valley said with a shrug, going over and swatting V from taking 5 more sugar packets from the little container of them. V huffed back at her, going for more sugar anyways. “Cybernetics can do so much, but - don’t drink that much sugar, it’s bad for you - but you look a lot better than most people who are nearly - V stop - 90.” Valley said, speaking to both V and Johnny as she practically climbed on top of V to stop his onslaught of sugar into his already too fucking light brown color it had disolved into. In spite, V simply opened the packets and dumped them onto his tongue. Valley let out an annoyed huff, crossing her arms at the action while V simply smiled. “Oh, so you know when my birthday is?” Johnny asked, bringing Valley’s and V’s attention over to him as he smirked back at Valley. Valley’s brows furrowed for a moment before she realized her mistake. So much for keeping it a secret how much she liked Samurai. She wasn’t good at keeping secrets. Wasn’t good at keeping a poker face either. Valley could already feel her cheeks warming up in embarrassment. “Come on now, leave the baby alone.” V sassed, gently pulling Valley into a side hug. “It’s hard meeting an idol and acting normal.” V said in a baby voice, making Valley quickly get out from his apparent loving side and punch him in his gut, making him bend over and grumble. “Y-you’re not-” Valley got out, feeling the heat in her face grow warmer as she sputtered out, looking back up at Johnny who looked far too fuckin’ smug. Valley let out a sharp huff as she smacked V upside the head. “Asswipe.” Valley muttered as V rubbed the back of his head, standing up and sharing the same stupid fuckin’ smug look that Johnny had as well. Maybe the two hadn’t gotten fully separated when they got their own personalities back. The idea made Valley want to fucking die if she had to deal with either of them in doubles. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping with an aging rockstar?” Valley snarked back at V. V looked over at Johnny and already she knew what was coming. “I already-” “Did, yeah fuckin’ yeah.” Valley muttered back, finishing V’s sentence for him. “Really spent far too fuckin’ long in each other’s mindspace, huh?” Valley grumbled, looking between Johnny and V. Two fuckin’ pals. “Wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone else, ‘specially you.” V said back sullenly with a shake of his head, looking down before looking back up at Valley and winking. Valley hit V’s arm as he laughed. “Plus, this dickhead gets hella annoying.” V said, looking back over at Johnny. Johnny rolled his eyes ever so dramatically. “Didn’t think I was annoyin’ enough to leave in Cyberspace though.” Johnny snarked back, folding his arms. V swatted towards him, his attention on the ringing of a holo. V suddenly stood up straight and gave both Valley and Johnny the ‘give me a second’ finger wag before walking over and into his armoury. “Still has the fuckin’ Corpo trainin’ in him.” Johnny muttered disgustingly as he watched V. Valley snorted. “You ever see his Arasaka memories?” Valley asked. “Fuck, I remember callin’ him when he was at work once and nearly showed up in Night City to torch the fuckin’ Arasaka tower to get my brother back.” Valley said with a laugh. “And you say I’m not your idol.” Johnny said with his own laugh making Valley blink back at him and roll her eyes. “Come on princess, torchin’ the fuckin’ place is so 2023.” Johnny said with a slow smirk. Valley let her snort turn into a genuine laugh. The way he said it. How accurate it was. Fuck, Johnny Silverhand should have nicknamed himself Johnny Silvertongue with how stupidly witty the fucker was. Then again, seeing how he interacted with her, Valley knew it wasn’t a good idea to bring up that name change to him. V emerged from his armoury, looking stressed as he came and leaned against the island. “How’s the time off soundin’ now?” Johnny asked, looking at V with a sort of concern. V simply rubbed his temples, just between where his cybernetic implants were. Valley didn’t understand why he would get them once he got a new cloned body...Valley only then noticed the blue flower on his neck. A reminder...that’s why he had them do his cybernetic implants in the clone… “Johnny…” V muttered, shutting his eyes, exasperated by whatever he was exasperated about. “How hard-” “Don’t.” V didn’t even let Johnny finish his sentence before looking back up at him sharply. “Honestly, the hardest fuckin’ thing is to get mercs and solos and netrunners who actually want to do the work.” V muttered, rubbing his head quickly, messing up his hair before attempting to slide it back. Valley raised an eyebrow at him, hoping her non-verbal question was brought up. V looked at Valley and sighed. “Right…” V said, looking a little guilty. “Forgot to mention that I’m a fixer now.” V said, rubbing the back of his neck. Valley’s brows raised at that before she laughed with a smile. “Well fuck, finally.” Valley said with a smile. Valley could see V slowly untense. “I mean, I was kinda worried with ya having this huge idolization of, ya know, dying to become a legend, so like, this is so much better.” Valley said, reaching and touching his hand that lay on the island. “And from what I’ve heard just getting into the city, you seem to be a living legend anyway, so like, you becoming a fixer with a status of living legend? You’re probably hella busy.” Valley said with a smile that quickly spread to V. “I mean, don’t get me fuckin’ wrong, not calling me for 8 fuckin’ months is still hella shitty of you, but hey, at least you’re not dead!” Valley chirped, genuinely happy for V. All his life, V was a sort of lost puppy. When the two were growing up, V wanted to be a cyber-cowboy and run around catching bad guys, obviously. Valley wanted to be a horse. Luckily, as the two grew up, they grew out of those phases. Unfortunately, that meant actually wanting to do and be things in life. V never really knew but Valley did. Valley wanted to become a BD editor. She loved all of the BD’s she got her hands on, which wasn’t a lot since the clan moved around a lot to really find anything worthwhile. She tried a lot of different ways to get the rawest forms of BD’s she could to better understand how they all worked, to understand what could be done with them and what would be the best content. She found a lot of porn related ones, which was what everyone really liked. She thought more calming experiences were something that could actually help people relax, without the whole jacking off aspect. And one day she got the chance to see how a BD was made…Valley shoved the memories back as far as her mind would let her. V had wanted to be important in the Corpo life since the clan was slowly falling apart. Valley wanted to watch the world burn. Now V was a living legend and Valley had burned and torched a good part of the country. “Anything I can do to make it up to you?” V asked genuinely before he snapped his fingers and pointed towards her. “Actually, I have someone I want you ta meet.” V said excitedly. “Doubt she’s awake right now, but who knows…” V said, turning and walking back into the armoury. Valley raised an eyebrow, looking over at Johnny and gesturing towards the door. “Got a pretty good idea who he’s referrin’ to.” Johnny stated, looking amused. Valley stared back at him, watching as V walked out of the armoury with a smile. “You bring that shitty car of yours?” V asked, making Valley glare back at him, folding her arms before nodding hesitantly. “Great!” V said with a bright smile, turning and leaving the kitchen, walking over to the stairs. “Wait-who-what’s happening?” Valley asked, walking around the island and stopping at the bottom of the stairs as V seemed to leap up them. “We’re goin’ to the Badlands.” V said cheerfully as he left her sight. Valley stared up the stairs for a moment longer before looking back at Johnny, trying to get any explanation of things. “Only one person out there that I think V’d want you to meet.” Johnny said with a little chuckle. Valley stared back at him, waiting for an explanation she knew wasn’t going to be that explained. “Nomad with an ass almost as exquisite as yours.” Johnny said with a smirk, making Valley roll her eyes so hard she swore she could see the inside of her skull. “Her name’s Panam...and she’s…” Johnny said with a shake of his head. “She’s a Nomad.” And that was all that was explained to Valley. 
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bobbyshawsupremacy · 4 years ago
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hello! it is me again!
the ~fandoms~
stranger things, i read it stuff occasionally but not much anymore, oh ALSO U WROTE MY FAVORITE PERCY/OLIVER FICS AND I HAVE NEVER RECOVERED so yeah thanks for that. ur writing is j,, so good.
i like writing v much. i don’t really trust myself to capture the tones of preexisting characters well. also i can’t really write the stuff i like to read. but u write the stuff i like to read!! and a lot of it’s sad, i guess. it’s ~cathartic~ yeah anyway ur prose is stunning and our fandoms overlap a lot n i think that’s cool
aaaaaa hello!!!!! this ask sparked my night with joy. wow.
OH MY GOD I DELETED THOSE PERCY/OLIVER FICS BECAUSE I FELT BAD ABT THEM AND NOW I FEEL BAD.......... maybe i will rewrite/repost them, just for you (:
my stranger things fics are half my soul.... i feel so Seen. however, the fact that you have read those disasters and still think i'm a good writer makes me absolutely admire you, thank you.
i'm sure you're better at it than you think! i think we're all better at capturing characters than we think. it's my favourite part of writing, personally, but it's a big part of it for everyone. it's very subjective. much more than people think. people are so complex that portraying them a thousand different ways can be accurate- and at the end of them, if your analysis doesn't match someone else's, who cares? it's YOUR headcanons and YOU get to decide the characterisation ((:
catharsis is mostly why i write, tbh. it's the purpose of my angst- the idea of fighting through things and coming out the other side, even if you're a little banged up when you get there, is a really important one to me. i often feel like my endings are a little too bittersweet rather than fully happy, so im glad to know that the intent gets across.
thank you so much!!! this made my night (:
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bladengineer · 5 years ago
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Bladebreakers: College Edition
anyone who’s already read my fics knows exactly what i’m about, so lets get straight to business about the college headcanons im about to slap yall with
also all under the cut bc this went way too long lmfao Hilary and Kenny should follow shortly bc it got really long and im just. oops
Kai is the first to go which is like. logical considering he’s the oldest and most driven out of all of them
not to mention he had the entirety of Hiwatari Corp. about to be put into his name as soon as he reached 18 and he’s just like aw man here we go
to be honest? he’s not keen on taking over the company, never has been (excluding the time where he felt obligated to under his grandfather’s influence) and the thought of actually having too just kinda. embitters him
so he gets himself sucked into the whole Business classes to get himself the necessary qualifications – and despite being bitter, he doesn’t half-ass shit so he studies on the regular
it isn't until Max wrangles him into finally giving his own interests a go and he changes his path to a History Major with a Minor in Business
he is so much happier
History, specifically Ancient History, had always been an avid interest in Kai’s books so he basically dives into his new studies with his own brand of stoic enthusiasm
its also the sole reason why he’s been amassing so many books in his personal collection at home, Hilary had implored him to buy bigger shelves after Max nearly broke his neck tripping over a loose pile
Kai likes to study alone, preferably in his private study (Tyson keeps making fun of him for having a private study at the age of 18, what are you, a grandpa? damn rich kid lmao) with soft instrumental music playing – he’s especially fond of rainy ambience music
of course, Kai is often seated at the back of the classes, but is indisputably one of the best students with very insightful and well-researched essays, naturally, most of his professors adore him
except a select few traditional-minded professors – they’re still bitter that Kai stood his ground when they had overlooked Cleopatra’s history and reduced her to the Ancient Sex Symbol and Kai was ready to cut a bitch at the blatant disrespect towards an Ancient Political Mastermind
the majority in his class has a fat crush on him but thats nothing new
Max, for a long time, had a bit of a dilemma as his parents urge him to start choosing his preferred path; was it going to be Engineering like his Mother or Mechanics like his Father, and honestly? the poor boy was so torn
in the end, he confessed he wanted to do neither – he loved Beyblade but it wasn’t something he wanted to dedicate his life to forever
instead, his heart had always belonged to the ocean and he dreams of being a Marine Biologist
his father was very supportive, while Judy had her doubts so it took a little convincing – in the end, her son’s joy was more important to her and she too gave her blessing for him to pursue his dream
Max goes on to major Zoology, directed towards marine animals, and takes up a minor in Engineering because hey, it pretty much runs in his family and it stayed an avid interest of his
his university wasn’t too far of from Kai’s own, so sometimes when he stays over at Kai’s he gets a free ride to class
he returns the gesture by always providing the best butter croissants for breakfast (they’re still warm too!)
Max usually studies in the campus library, noise-cancelling headphones on, bopping silently to whatever music he’s listening to as he reviews his notes for the next exam
he researches a lot for his topics and has collected so much trivia about the ocean and its inhabitants in general
Max: did you know jellyfishes have no brain? Kai: Max don’t bully Tyson Tyson: excuse me?
the professors love Max tbh, he’s always fully engaged within class so they usually let him get away with things mainly bc he’s just their Favourite
pretty sure half of the university knows of Max in some way or another, being a social butterfly and all and maybe having flooded the campus once by accident
Ray also had a hard time deciding what to do and what to study; being from a rural village with traditions certainly made him question wether he should pursue a modern career or stay within his community
the White Tigers were quick to kick his ass over it however, booting him straight to Kai’s doorstep and telling him to do what he feels was right for him
now, he’s managed to get himself applied to one of the prestigious university for culinary arts – he’s not too sure yet which path he wants to take in terms of culinary skill
he loves cooking and working in a kitchen, however after many work experiences he has found that working at the command of someone else wasn't exactly to his tastes, not to mention, he’d like to dabble in more traditional culinary arts
as of now, Ray particularly enjoys the sweeter side of cooking, preferring to create intricate pastries and confectionaries, often stemming from his chinese roots but also applying his skill within the japanese side of things
his homemade mooncakes are honestly to die for
next to his obvious passion for cooking, he’s also taken up classes in horticulture, mainly bc he’d love to grow his own ingredients and create his own sets of spices and various artisan products
since his career path is very labour focused, he often practices at home and takes inspiration from various chefs all around the world. his bookshelves are full of recipe books and general insightful cookbooks
Max had suggested to him to make videos of his dishes, mainly for self-improvement, but also being able to put them online to start a crowd interest for his work
its going pretty well actually, his videos have become quite popular since they are aesthetically pleasing, the food looks tasty as hell and also a wide crowd of older people have voiced their joy in seeing more traditional confectionary being made
his friends secretly love their birthdays nowadays bc without fail, Ray always gifts them homemade foods, from neat boxes of handcrafted chocolates to cute jars of sweet jams
he knows, he always takes time to create flavours he knows they will appreciate
Tyson, surprisingly, knew exactly what he wanted to do, and it wasn’t anything to do with Beyblade
Hilary: WHAT ARE YOU SICK Tyson: i- no? i just– Ray: hold on maybe he’s running a fever Tyson: would yOU GUYS JUST LISTEN–
look, he loves Beyblade, it’s something he’ll treasure all his life, something he’ll still pursue in the future, but
it won’t be what he wants to do full time
instead, he majors in Anthropology in order to pave his way into Archeology and everyone is so proud they start crying
next to his Major, he also minors in Business, mainly due to his longstanding position within the BBA, with whom he stays as a particular poster boy and star
next to his work with the BBA, he occasionally helps out in the Dojo and everyone kinda realises? that this guy is literally holding down two (2) whole jobs while also studying and if that isn't hardcore my dudes i don’t know
then again, he’s grown a lot and his interest in his father’s career had always accompanied him since he was a kid – however, his studying habits are still all kinds of atrocious and the only reason why he can even halfway ace his exams is bc he refuses to go down quietly, actually is really critical and analytical is he puts his head into it, and the fact that he employs Hilary to stand vigil with a rolled up magazine to smack him back into focus should he slack off
otherwise, he’s friends with most people in his class and regularly exchanges notes with them and even has become a favourite with a select few of his professors
most just find him exhausting but can’t refute his elaborate essays, which are both thoughtful as eyebrow raising
he attends the same university as Kai (much to his chagrin) and they stick together just as much as they bicker (one-sidedly) just like old times – however, they are both ancient history buffs and its one of the very few topics that they can be heard talking about in actual peace without Tyson going apeshit when Kai loses interest in the conversation
Tyson and Kai are also those college students who pull ridiculous all nighters to study
Max once got so nervous for an exam he made a terrifying concoction of Red Bull and Instant Coffee to stay up and study
he aced the exam but he cannot for the life of him remember what he did in those 24hours bc as soon as he went home he crashed for nearly 32hours straight
Tyson and Ray who were present at the time refuse to speak about it and when asked about it, they kinda just. disassociate for a minute at the sheer horror they had witnessed
Kai rarely ever communicates with classmates yet somehow gets always invited to all the frat parties
who are those people? he doesn’t know
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arlakos · 5 years ago
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Why Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess. (Spoilers!)
 Oh boy
Oooooooh boy where do I even begin
Lets start from the beginning i Suppose
When Miraculous Ladybug first came out i fell in love with the series. I thought the premise was nice, the characters ok and the story interesting. Well, to be fair I didnt expect much of the story due to being in its first season, but I loved it. The finale was meh (the last episode, not the mid-series Origins story, I watched it on Netflix). I liked the series. I loved the fandom. And i Couldn’t wait for season 2 at the time.
Then season 2 came out
As i started watching the first ep of season 2, it started out strong, answered a question i already knew, but then... it didn't go any further. See, when I expected season 2, I expected the story to be taken up a notch, the plot to become stronger, new and interesting characters to be introduced, and for someone to replace Hawkmoth as the antagonist (bc in my mind, he always felt like a season 1 antagonist to be replaced one season later by the actual main antagonist, and the mayura leaks did not help). 
But it never came. The story remained simple and eventually started to become bland. All episodes were all single-story eps with no correlation to each other other than the characters in them. Every single character in the show that wasnt Marinette had any sort of character growth, and I could take any one of the episodes out other than the first and last two and it wouldn't have any impact. Maybe not all of them, but some.
(This was the same time I learned that all episodes in the series were meant to always be single episode storylines. It was the same time I learned the the shows creator was also an ASS-truc, but thats a story for another day)
So for season 2, I ended up starting to find the show boring and lackluster. Most of the episodes were boring and unentertaining, and aside from a select few, such as the finale, the new hero eps and a few others, the entire season was boring to heck. 
Worse still, Marinette went from an ok nice girl (who was at times a bit of an arse) to a stalker asshole who was at times worse than Chloe. 
(Then again, the first episode of the entire series literally had Marinette have a planner used to track Adrien's every move, so what the hell do i know)
The fandom, however, was still amazing at the time, so I stuck around. The fanfics were amazing at the time and the fandom was still so kind-hearted
Luckily for me, Season 3 would manage to have some much better episodes.
But at what cost.
WHAT. COST.
See, while Season 3 was undoubtedly better that season 2 overall in episode quality, this season was probably also the worst of all 3 at the same time. This season was not only the worst in overall season quality but the one that entirely ruined the fandom for me. The plot was again non-existent and there was still no character development, but they manage to make this season better by making a plotline that required all characters to be an idiot ball, then ditch it at the end just so Thomas could again insult people on twitter.
Lets start with the first episode of Season 3: Chameleon
Sometime before the production of season 2 and 3, Asstruc learned how to write someone as a martyr people would feel pity for that character and want to protect (read: stan) them.
So naturally, Ass-truc would abuse this a lot.
In the first ep of season 3, Astruc would create the worst episode ever made. 
The premise of the episode is that Lila has returned to school and has been telling lies, which makes Marinette mad. None of the class believes her due to everyone being written as an idiot (seriously the someone gotta has google on their smartphones everyone has), so of course, Naturally Mari confronts Lila, who swears to ruin her life before and after an akuma battle which doesnt really matter for this episode, aside from the fact that Lila fully works with hawkmoth because being a bad kid means that working with a terrorist is perfectly reasonable if you can get revenge on the good guys.
So, including the fact Ass-truc reintroduced Lila back into the show as a Chloe 2.0 to making everyone an idiot ball so that the writing could even work, this will be the episode that I will hate the most. And not just for the episode itself. We’ll come to that later. But the point is, this is how most of the season would go:
-Lila: *exists*
-Marinette: *cries* im suffering so much, my life is ruined!
-Fans: stan to the point of insanity
-Me sipping my salt flavored tea: b*tch calm the f*ck down.
Speaking of Marinette, the Miraculous team had already been hellbent on making Marinette more of an asshole, stalkery and creepy and passing it off as cute in season 2, so they decided to fix that by dialing all that shit up to 11. Episodes like Weredad and Oni-chan really showed this, with the former having Marinette Literally manipulating Chat Noir to be stuck in a bad situation just for her own sake, and latter literally having her try to break into Adriens house because Lila is there. All for the excuse that Lila is a Liar and totally not because she is with Adrien, Marinette cant be jealous because Marinetteisperfectandamazingand-
Yeah, she really sucks as the main character. TBH I'm waiting for the spinoff show where Alix and Kim dare each other to do stupid stuff each episode like its MTV’s Jackass, it's gonna be fun.
Now onto the Other episodes!
While I will admit that compared to season 2, there were a lot of good episodes. Gamer 2.0, Feast, Ikari Gozen, Party Crasher, and of course the heart-wrenching Oblivio come to mind. These episodes are amazing and show how good the episodes are when you make sure the garden gnome is locked in a closet somewhere during episode development.
So out of the 26 episodes, 5 of them were really good.
The rest were either kinda ok or complete shit. That's not to say they were all bad, but there were just some parts... at best there was either a part of it I found cringeworthy too much for me to consider it as one of the good ones, such as Pupetteer 2 with its Adrien Statue scene, or at worst all of it was just written so badly, such as the entirety of Stormy Weather not actually being an episode and acutally being just and episode recap.
Now for the plot. Oh, wait, what plot?
First of all, Miraculous never had one. At best it was just a bunch of single-episode stories that Ass-truc wants you to think are connected somehow and somehow all work together as a cohesive story. A lot of the characters in Miraculous Ladybug
You mean the overarching storyline where Marinette becomes a Guardian just because she can pick a hero? Yeah, just ignore the episode where Fu said he had to spend an entire childhood learning how to even be an apprentice Guardian, or ignore the fact that picking a person to be a hero doesn't make Marinette qualified to be Guardian in a slightest!
(If someone literally has to ask me this, ask yourself if a pharmacist is fit to be a doctor just because they hand out your meds.)
What about the storylines about other certain characters in the show like Lila, who the show has been building up to be a villain while casually destroying characters' intelligence to be able to do so? The story about Chloe accepting that she can’t really be a hero anymore and moving on?
Ruined by the Finale.
Oh yeah, the finale.
This season Finale was probably the worst finale out of all the seasons and half the stuff done in the last two episodes did not make sense. I dont want to talk about it much because I want to do a blog post about it later on, but for the sake of the finale, they ruined a bunch of characters, martyred Marinette for the 100th time, and created some stupid plot ideas for the sake of coolness. And by coolness i mean stanning Marinette again and making her extra special. Doesnt matter if it makes a contradiction or makes no sense. Stupidity has won this episode!
To be fair though, all the reasons above aren’t the reasons I hate this season. 
No.
The reason for season 3 being the worst for me is how it had ruined the fandom.
Ever since the first episode of season 3, the fandom has become a cesspool of salt and anger. Character bashing because the class didn't straight up agree with Marinette instantly, Over the top Marinette stanning, fanfics that go over the top crazy, it has gone insane. On ao3 most fanfics of ML that i have seen have been about ‘Chameleon Fix-Its’ where Lila is metaphorically shot with a GAT, ‘Marinette protection Squads’ which basically involve her moving schools because Lila exists, and the Maribat ship that has made my head dent my desk (seriously where the fuck did it come from?!). Worst still, as a result of Season 3, the Adrien hate has started to go crazy as a result of the Chameleon episode and similar eps resulting in Marinette being shipped with Luka (aka the better Adrien as stated by Marinette stans), Felix before the Felix episode dropped, and even Damien Wayne in the Notorious Maribat ship (no seriously where did it come from i want answers!). To put it simple, thanks to Ass-truc all of ao3 is filled with salt fics and no more original and interesting stories.
BTW while i have your attention and am talking about good Miraculous stories on ao3, go read Miraculous Tales by JED1 on AO3 its soo damn good.
To be fair, I myself am angry at the episode, but only because everyone was written to be an idiot ball for the episode to work, and because of the fact Astruc used the episode to rile up the fandom to be almost as toxic as him.
If anything, its the number one reasons why i hate seasons 3 and the reason why it has ruined the fandom for me.
And that, overall, is why i think Season 3 was a Rollercoaster of a mess.
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cerealmonster15 · 9 months ago
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listen people can have their differing opinions that’s cool I just Personally Feel Like it’s just so mean to be yelling that feedback such as likes on posts and a kudos on fics are “useless”. What do u mean. Why. are ppl not expressing their feelings in a way that makes them comfortable ? ?
Like I Understand i guess in the sense of you don’t get to hear peoples opinions. I also feel kinda lonely and stuff when it’s quiet feedback but calling anything useless sounds so WEIRD to me ??? What is the goal. And also yea they do something still I’m pretty sure????
Take ao3. Isn’t sort by kudos an option on there? If your goal is to be seen more or whatever then if people are looking for high kudos fics, then people giving ur fic a kudos isn’t useless yeah??
And then tumblr. People keep saying “likes do nothing here there’s no algorithm” or whatever but that’s not really fully true. On your standard dashboard, sure, likes “don’t do anything” to move a post around on there. BUT that’s not the only place people find posts. If u are looking in the tags for posts, im p sure the default is to sort by popular posts. That’s, as far as I understand, a TOTAL NOTES count. Likes are included. Likes help ur posts her higher in that “popular” zone. I have several posts that have ended up in there in some small ship tags BECAUSE of all the likes, which does still have people seeing those posts now and then when they’re in the tag.
AND I’m pretty sure it’s a similar mechanic for the for you page. I’m sure we think people don’t use that feature but I’m pretty sure people do/ maybe new users. This is more of a theory on my part lol buttttt. I’ve noticed a few rare times where I’ve made an addition to a reblog on someone else’s post, there will be a stretch of time sometimes where random people that Do Not Follow Me keep liking/reblogging the post via my addition. WAY more times for it to just be a stray person wanting it from my addition without comments under (and I don’t think people do that when they’re only liking the post lol). And the few times I’ve accidentally had my for you tab on, I believe it does show via other people’s reblogs lol. So that’s just my way of saying total note count INCLUDING LIKES probably does put posts in peoples eyes on the for you tab / my experience tells me people do use that feature so it’s not just sitting there dusty lol.
Anyway I like mostly understand why people want reblogs and comments, like I do prefer them too bc I like when people tell me what they r thinking (however sometimes people do not add their thoughts in the tags either and that is just how it is!). And I also understand some people maybe just don’t know that others like that kind of feedback and need to hear it first to feel encouraged. I think I just personally do not like the tone that a lot of posts have when they talk about it. When ur calling likes useless bc idk it’s not the right kind of feedback u wanted so it’s inferior ?? 😭😭😭 I also feel like that intense vibe like, idk if this makes sense or if other people felt it too, but it negatively shifted my own perception too? Like. I thought likes were fine. But now with how intense people are about them and not meant if likes bc they just don’t count in ur eyes, now when people like instead of reblogging, I just think of all those posts and I’m like “hmm ok is my post bad did I make a bad post bc everyone says the likes aren’t good so if I’m getting likes I made A Bad Post. It’s Pity Feedback” <- which is SO unhealthy and also tbh has a lot more to do with my own issues that are just getting influenced here so it’s not all on those posts lol. I just Also Have Extra Issues 🫡
Ok jeeze I don’t wanna sound soap boxy tho so I’m NOT letting people rb this aJsndjfcjfjfjcjfj and ppl can absolutely have different feelings and opinions about the situation it’s fine. this is just. how I feel ✌️
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peachymhaechan · 5 years ago
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“Trust me, it isn’t just for the camera.”
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Genre: fluff, babey !! nothin like a good ol idol au, am I rite, laid ease??
Warnings: bad words (like everything else I've written ever lol)
Pairing: Taeyong X female idol reader
A/N: junior year is almost over, thank god. I am so tired. writing this was such a good break from studying for my ap exams and cramming for finals. thank u, Taeyong. also, im working on something for the superhuman comeback, stay tuned, yall :)
you had been a model for sm for a few years now
well within your first year you had gained so much popularity that you became the company’s most hired model and had received a nickname from your employers and fans
you were their Golden Girl (hhhhhffk listen,,, we been knew I ain’t creative), and everyone was dying to work with their Golden Girl
most notable for your bubbly personality and striking looks, every employer was fascinated by your ability to pull off any look 
very similar is lee Taeyong, another artist signed to your company
with his stark beauty, it was no understatement to say that you would not have minded working with someone as pretty as him
so, when your manager told you about an upcoming project where you’d be working with Taeyong and a few of the other nct boys you were #sh00k to say the least
“wait..... WHAT?!” was all you could say in response to your manager telling you the good news
“Yeah, I know. I know how long you’ve wanted to work with him. Well, get ready. For this photoshoot they need you to have bubblegum pink hair, and.....” 
for the next few days, you tried to mentally prepare yourself for what was about to happen
yeah, you guys were signed to the same company but that doesn't mean you saw him all the time
you had only seen him once, and that was when you had just become a trainee and were walking through the halls to try and find the recording studio on the third floor
you accidentally went into the dance studio and found yourself interrupting a dance practice for nct u
“Sorry, I have to find someone in the recording studio, where-” 
“You’re fine, don't worry about it! If you go out this hallway, make the next left turn and it should be the second door on the right,” Taeyong said, giving you a small smile 
that was the ONLY interaction you had with him, but boy even when covered in sweat was he gorgeous
and you got to WORK WITH THAT 
the day finally came where you got to work with him yayayay
you woke up at 4 am after having only 1 hour of sleep, thriving
you got up and took a quick shower, did your skincare routine, and changed into comfy clothes for the day
on your way to meeting your manager you grabbed a few coffees for the staff as a thank you for the opportunity
you met your manager at the company building and it started to hit that 
//ohmygod this is really about to happen//
your manager tried her best to calm your nerves but damn, you were not having any of that
scrolling through Instagram, you anxiously awaited the company van that would take you to the photoshoot set
when it pulled up after about twenty minutes of waiting, you and your crew piled in and then you heard your manager tell the driver to hold the van for a few more minutes, seeing as Taeyong and his people were running a little behind
that only made your heart beat even faster
hgjaonfnwnw anxious from waiting, you just wanted to get it over with and rip it off like a bandaid
five minutes later, you saw three people walking over to the van
one of which was wearing sweats, sneakers, a hoodie, and a mask
you automatically recognized who that was despite the baggy clothing and half hidden face
oh fuck oh shit
one of the other two men talked to your manager, who had gotten out to speak to taeyong’s manager and the other person there
Taeyong climbed into the van and made eye contact with you in the back row, spotting the empty seat beside you
“Is this seat taken?” he asked, nodding to the spot right next to you
you felt a blush creep into your cheeks and your throat started getting closed up from nerves
so all you could do was shake your head no
he sat down and gave you a small smile, then started yawning and stretching out his arms
you had one extra coffee left from earlier and you figured it’d be a great ice breaker maybe 
“I have an extra coffee from a coffee run I went on earlier, do you want it? It’s not super hot or anything, but its still a little warm, and its caffeine,” you said and his eyes immediately lit up
“Oh, yes please!!” 
you grabbed the last cup from the drink carrier and gave it to him, and he thanked you right away
“How did you have enough time to go on a coffee run this morning?” Taeyong asked in shock
“I got up at four and am running on one hour of sleep,” you explained, not even trying to seem like you have it together
that's what its like being a hot mess, babey !!1
“That’s not good, you need to get more sleep. Were you out late last night with your schedule or something?” 
concerned mom? yes
“I was out until about eleven pm, yeah, but in all honesty... I couldn’t sleep because I was very nervous to meet you.” 
bro you need to get some sleep and get your filter back in place
bc when you get no sleep?? a bitch has NO filter whatsoever
Taeyong was genuinely surprised that you were nervous to meet him
“Really?? You were nervous to meet me?? Why, am I really that scary or something??” 
“Its not that you’re scary, exactly, but... I have wanted to work with you for a very long time, and it still hasn’t fully set in that this is my reality.” 
he nodded after you spoke, and it seemed to both impress and confuse him
no matter how popular him and his group got, he never got used to having people look up to him
and to hear it from someone as successful as you, someone he has constantly seen in the media for so long?? mind boggling
it kind of made him nervous tbh
before he could reply, the managers and everyone piled in and the van started moving to the photoshoot set
as soon as you guys left the company building, your head leaned onto the window and you passed tf out
when you woke up, Taeyong was tapping you on the shoulder and telling you that yall got to the set finally
taeyong’s face greeting you when you woke up? shocking, but not an unwelcome sight
“Alright, we need to get you guys into hair and makeup, then we will send you both over to wardrobe and they'll make any last minute touchups and then you can get to work. Sound good?” your manager told you two, and when you both nodded, she immediately directed you to the makeup studio
your artists were very excited to work with you, which made everything much more pleasant
“The feel we are going for with this shoot will perfectly fit your aesthetic and your features, I’m so excited!!” and “You’re naturally this pretty? And after only one hour of sleep? Oh my god, my under eye bags are permanent and it looks like you don’t have any at all!” or the occasional “I wish I could be as stunning as you without even trying...” 
it sounded like Taeyong was going through the same thing, as you could hear some of the other makeup artists gushing about his sharp features
“Wow, your eyes are so beautiful!” and “Your smile is stunning!” and “I wish I was half as pretty as you are!” 
you could tell it made him a bit uncomfortable because he sat there with a :} face 
(unrelated but: that face looks like the grinch lowkey, ok sorry for interrupting lol, back to the fic)
you two made eye contact in the mirror and you could practically read his mind
I want this to stop, they’re making me uncomfortable, oh my god. 
to which your eyes said, Same here, and I am used to dealing with this on a daily basis.  
luckily, they finished putting shadows and liner on your eyelids, and then they sent you to the hair department
for hair, they teased and curled your hair, giving you a tired and just woken up look
well, a styled just woken up kind of look
Taeyong came in halfway through your hair and all they had to do for him was throw some gel in his and make it a little messy and he was good to go
by the time you made it to wardrobe Taeyong was already on set and getting individual pictures for the concept
they threw you in clothes, and by clothes you mean a men’s oversized white button up, short shorts, and a bright red bra
and before you could even leave to head to the set, they made sure that the first few buttons were undone on the shirt
to say you felt a lil bit exposed and cold was an understatement
the second he saw you, Taeyong had a glint in his eye and he couldn't stop staring at you
naturally, that made you blush and get really self conscious
?? wot
“Hello, I am your photographer for the day. This shoot is supposed to be sort of a couple, romantic fashion shoot, so I hope you two know each other very well and are comfortable with being close to one another. Do you two have any issues with that?”  
you both looked at each other, 
and then lee Taeyong, 
while staring dead in your eyes, 
said
“No, sounds perfect!” 
bitch
what the fuck was that supposed to mean ?! 
“sounds perfect” uhhhhhhhhhhh lemme get a mcfuckin explanation 
he gave you a small smile before you managed to get out, “No issues here.” 
that only made him smile more
njsdncvcaehcfabcafcb bitch!! you were whipped for him already
“Great! Let’s get started, then. Y/N, I will have you stand over here, and...” 
let’s just say that the photographer had you two start with basic stuff, like you two standing next to one another with Taeyong putting his hand on your shoulder and things like that
it quickly escalated though, and he had you doing things like laying your legs across his lap and running your hands through his hair
“Sorry if this is a little too intimate for you,” you whispered into his ear during another shot, where you were draped over his sitting form and your hand caressed his cheek
“Don’t apologize, it’s not. If anything, I’m a little flustered to have someone as pretty as you staring at me the way you are, Y/N, even if it is just for the camera,” he told you, shifting so that you were turned with your back to the camera and chest flush to his, your hands delicately placed on his upper arms, his hand resting on your lower back and you staring up at him
faintly you could hear the photographer say,  “THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE ONE!”
“Trust me, it isn’t just for the camera,” you mumbled, not able to filter yourself due to sleep deprivation
you thought he didn’t hear you, but then a smirk formed on his face and you knew you #fucked up
the end of the shoot was arriving, and there were a few more pictures the photographer had in mind, but he wanted to let you guys do your own thing and see where it ended up
“You guys can do what you want for these next few pictures, just do what feels naturally and I’ll angle it well.” very encouraging, right
making use of the pieces of furniture on the set, you decided to lay on the bright red couch and Taeyong looked down at you from behind it
“I couldn’t hear what you said earlier, can you say it again please?” he asked, trying to fish a confession out of you
Oh, Mr. Lee Taeyong, it won’t be that easy. 
“Hmmm, what do you mean?” you asked, purposefully trying to be as close to him as you could, so you sat on your hips to the side more and pulled him down so your hand rested on his cheek and your face was //right there, you could feel his breath on your lips//
(the photographer would have fainted there if he could get away with technical time theft while on the job)
taeyong’s breath hitched and a blush crept onto his cheeks and you knew you got him
ladies and gentlemen.... we got ‘im
even still, he tried to get it out of you
“Well, I thought I heard you say something under your breath before the photographer spoke to us,” he coyly explained, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap
at that point it became a game of who could get the other to blush more
and lemme just say, mama didn’t raise no lil bitch, so you were NOT about to lose
grabbing both sides of his face in your small hands, you leaned in and whispered, “I hope it’s okay that I’m going to kiss you now.” 
his eyes went wide, and then he said, “MORE than okay.” 
and the next thing you know, your lips were planted on his and the photographer was sobbing genuine tears
“THIS IS PEAK PROFESSIONALISM, OH MY GOD, IT’S BEEN YEARS SINCE I’VE WORKED WITH MODELS AS GOOD AS YOU TWO, OH MY, THIS IS THE SHOT THAT WILL MAKE IT BIG, I’M-” 
of course his enthusiasm made you start giggling, and you could feel Taeyong smiling into the kiss
when you two broke apart you leaned your forehead on his and stared into his eyes
“I think we both know what I said earlier,” you told him, throwing your arms around his neck
“Good, because I hope we are both on the same page,” he said, smirking slightly
“And that is?” 
and all he did in response was kiss you again, but this time not smiling from the photographer’ s goofy remarks
the photographer gave the okay after he got that shot and told you two that he wish he’d gotten to work with you sooner
the ironic thing here is that you and Taeyong wished the same thing
you headed back to the dressing rooms, hand in hand, getting stares from the staff but not caring much
or at all, really
#bad bitch club: RISE
“I hope you know that as soon as those pictures get released, people will assume we are dating, right?” you said, wiping the makeup off and combing through your hair
you quickly ducked into changing room, throwing on the clothes you were wearing when you arrived
you heard him chuckle from the other little makeshift room
you exited your changing room and found him waiting for you
“Why let them assume when we could tell them the truth ourselves?” 
and somehow, despite the crazy hectic schedules you both had, 
and all the crazy ups and downs of being in the public spotlight,
a few months later, when the magazine finally hit the shelves and the cover image was you two kissing each other and looking like the happiest couple in the world,
when you got invited to an interview to discuss the inspiration for the images and the experience of working with each other, 
you two walked in hand in hand, smiling brightly and looking like your average couple that was in love
and when asked if you two were dating, 
you replied, “Yes, and it has been the best few months of my life so far.” 
:) uwu
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tayegi · 6 years ago
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Ohhg God Mijoo really got her I gasped thru the whole conversation I can't believe I never really noticed but oc really doesn't talk much about jimin as an individual but really as this beautiful warm light and it totally makes sense that she was just idolizing him also I was sick thru all the angst girl I just really want her to be happy but the moment in the sea!!! Oh my God I'm screaming I just gosh I'm really rooting for her :( for them :( (PS hobi is making me uncomfy nd I don't know y)
Anonymous said:mijoo and the oc should just date
Anonymous said:BCH I am living for that friendship scene between mijoo and y/n where theyre staring at the stars ahh such a lovely scene
Anonymous said:this is the third time that i try to write this ask and i can’t still find the right words to express how much i love mijoo and the oc’s friendship. i love their interactions, i love how they both work hard to resolve a conflictual situation. i love how mijoo always tries to make the oc happy & how the oc is ready to put aside her deeper feelings in order to not hurt mijoo. there are many interesting relationships in nr but nothing will top mijoo & the oc beautiful empowering friendship
Anonymous said:honestly... i think the oc and mijoo's relationship is the most beautiful one you've written, and i've read most of your writings if not all. sure, the oc's relationship with jungkook keeps you engaged and is the main focus, but the way the oc's friendship with mijoo is written? the ups and downs? the flaws? the reading each other better than themselves? the REALISM? how female friendships really are the strongest and so lovely and amazing? idk man i just love you for this. thank you!!
Anonymous said:I love the friend relationship between Mijoo and OC but I also lowkey ship them together idk i'm confused.
Anonymous said:Lu, i'm emotional... As always. There are so many things in every chapter that makes me feel a lot of different feelings, and observing the OC relationship with mijoo totally warms my heart. I was one of those persons who hated mijoo for what she did in the past and well... thanks for open my eyes. The scenes of the OC and her in this last chapter were for me even more intenses than the kissing scene, i was actually feeling it. GREAT chapter, the end tho got my heart stopping. Lots of love 💕
Anonymous said:I want a best friend like Mijoo! We all need a Mijoo in our lives. The way she finally had enough and called the oc out for being so stubborn and stagnant in her relationship that's not a relationship was pretty intense, but I agree with you, your best friend should promote growth when they can. I love how she came back and apologized, too, without making a big fuss, just a simple "I'm sorry, I love you, and I'm always here for you" 😭 beautiful as heck!
Anonymous said:gosh this chapter just caught me off guard! the scenes with y/n and mijoo led me to tears. mijoo really loves y/n and vice versa. it's a beautiful best friend dynamic. they're both so human and flawed, they call each other out on their shit and they could end up hurting each other's feelings but at the end of the day, they'll apologize aaa i think that's the nuanced beauty of friendships! :-'(( AND THAT SCENE when y/n finally said her repressed feelings for jk out loud, god I JUST FELT THAT
Anonymous said:Me @ Me: u r doing fine and the best u can Mijoo @ Me: HoNeY wHAT iS U DoiN Me after reading their argument scene and getting “my” shit called out Me @ Me: HoNeY wHAT iS U DoiN Mijoo gave “me” tough love. “I” end up avoiding on solving my problems by wanting to drink or say some self depreciating joke and at first I was defensive bc I would act 100% like the way the character is but then pulling away from the intense scene, I was like “alright. U got me there. Gtg get my shit together.” 💋 Mijoo
Anonymous said:10 chapter. Just when I woke up. I read it. Amazing. Specially I like this part with Mijoo. Clearing the situation between two of them it was something that they needed a long time ago. And there’s only one thing left why I can’t fully compare my self to the main character. When it comes to her feelings she is speechless. And I understand that she’s afraid, but at least you can reject and don’t do what you don’t really want to. you don’t have to. Waiting for the next chapter. Love. 🍓
Anonymous said:Lu... I’m really on the verge of crying rn, I’m emotional and about to start my period and ch. 10 is the most emotionally affecting chap for me so far; I adore the way you portray female relationships in nr. The scenes with mijoo just reminded me of my own closest female friend group who are the relationships I cherish most 😭 they have been there for me since early high school and now we’re well into college and even tho we don’t see each other as often, we’re always looking out (1/3) -💝
Anonymous said:For each other and want what’s best for them 💜 like mijoo I would give up any guy in a heartbeat for them bc their friendship is truly irreplaceable. Sorry for kind of rambling,, it’s just I feel like I don’t see the depth and pure love that female friendships can have explored in fics that often which is weird bc when writing about life, I feel like female friendships are a huge part of a lot of girls’ lives!! And the part with hyejin, reminded me of how awesome girls are. I have so (2/3) -💝
Anonymous said:much love for my girl friends and girls in general and it just warmed my heart to see that reflected with the nuance and care that you put into new rules :’)) legit crying rn (3/3) -💝
bamlix said:can mijoo be my bff irl pls ty
Anonymous said:I really love Mijoo, I wished I had a friend like her 😭🤧🤧🤧🤧💖💕
Anonymous said:OK BUT WHAT WAS THAT, oc and mijoo's friendship goals!!!! I love their relationship with each other more than ever, and the thing mijoo pointed out about the OC and jimin is sooo true, is something I keep discussing with people, the difference between really liking someone and only being interested, you can't like/love someone that you don't know for reaal, like all the things mijoo pointed out! I loved that dialogue so much!!! AND THE CLIFF HANGER AT THE END, I LOVE YOU!
Anonymous said:the scene with mijoo really got me tho in chap10 because of how loyal they both are to each other? i just absolutely love how they are literally each one's #1 fans and ugh everyone just needs a mijoo in their life tbh
Anonymous said:when mijoo slipped into the ocs bed my heart just went 🌸💖😩😭👩‍❤️‍👩🧡💛💚💕❣️💗💓💞💜💚💕💖💓💞💝 i genuinely want all good things to happen to the oc and mijoo
Anonymous said:i havent finished ch 10 yet but MIJOOOOOO SHES THE BEST SHE REMINDS ME OF MY BFF MY HEAART IS WARM
Anonymous said:aaaa im still reading chapter ten but you've done it again lu!!! i love the way mijoo confronted the oc about her crush on jimin. she was mature and respectful while addressing the problem with the oc's thought process about jimin. i've considered myself a feminist for a while, but this series alone has gotten me closer to a more fair and truly equal perception of gender. thank u so much!! - yoongi trash icon
lajsdfklsdjf this sudden outpour of love makes me SO SOFT!!! esp since all the disgusting misogynistic hate she’s gotten over the past chapters. like F I N A L L Y lol. NEVER FORGET GUYS, CHICKS > DICKS
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cxsmicmyeon · 3 years ago
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hi hi! it's your bestie 😉 hehe sorry i had too much screen time and needed a break 😂
oh my goodness his fried rice waffles 👁👄👁 he also called himself a culinary genius and i'm wondering how kyungsoo deals with jongin's kitchen adventures lmao or even minseok since he's such a clean freak?? baek just updated and said he's doing well in a strict routine! but for everyone to stop sending mail/email/gifts to his training centre bc it's overwhelming them 😂 so to just tell him everything using a specific hashtag and he can feel the love when he's finished. can you imagine how much they're getting??? lol
i've always used the excuse it's still that date in america soooo technically it's still my birthday 😀
OMG YES PLEASE WRITE THAT!!! that's so cute and domestic stop lol 💞 i feel like a bunny would be a lot less maintenance especially if you're out often! unless you adopt? a puppy is SO much work. ..maybe that's why mine is such a baby. he's almost 6 now but still acts like a puppy we just brought home yesterday 😂 omg that time chanyeol had toben and sehun had vivi? the chaos that was toben LMAO
i sometimes want to start a fic rec blog..but i'm so unorganised i'm not sure how to go about it. i do so much reading and there're so many good fics out there i want to share 😭
we pretty much are but there's some random clusters here and there. plus the newly returned overseas but they're quarantined in a medi hotel. yeah i've seen a lot of news from the us about people refusing to wear masks and stay home. but then turn around and complain that things aren't getting better 😶 yes please keep safe!! ❤
i think the cheaper one is a flip book album! which ofc will be mega cute, i can already imagine! i want sm to bloody release the details though. why are they so lazy when it comes to their best sellers?! is it tomorrow for you yet? 😂 DID YOU GET IT!? omfg yes lol i CAN'T WAIT for your asmr HAHA 👉👈 tbh your voice sounded so sweet i felt comfortable messaging you 😂 when you were fangirling about myeon hahaha that's exactly what i'm like when someone asks about yeol hehe
LOL THE WAY I THOUGHT HIS FRIED RICE WAFFLES WERE HASHBROWNS- ngl though it looks good though i'd eat it...😳 kyungsoo prolly had a mental breakdown when he saw jongin making the waffle LOL
OMG WAIT I CRIED WHEN I SAW BAEK'S VIDEO- HE SAID HE'S GONNA BE UPLOADING EVERY 17TH???? AND CHAN UPLOADING EVERY 27TH??? WE DO NOT DESERVE THOSE TWO AT ALL😭😭😭omg i can't imagine all the mail he's getting- i think something similar happened to junmyeon and he had to go on and say stop sending me mail cuz it's too much ahsgdj,, my popular boys🥰
I WILL WRITE IT!! i just need to get through school and finish my final paper lol!! and also finish my requests lol!! thank god school's over next tuesday for me lol! i need a BREAK omg... agh yeah i have heard puppies are a lot of work but they're SO CUTE THOUGH😭😭omg toben and vivi are both of my personalities🤣🤣they're literally the cutest things omg
lol i actually was considering a fic rec blog too! cuz my post is rly long and i feel bad for all the tags the authors get LOL but i'm lazy and i don't want to annoy the authors EVEN MORE LLMAOSODNDNJFHF i love life😃👍🏻
ugh yes i have a lot of family who is anti mask and won't get vaccinated and don't take covid seriously and it just pisses me off🙄🙄but thankfully most of them don't live in my area so i don't have to worry about seeing them a lot lol! and i have both of my shots for the vaccine and i'll be fully vaccinated after next week!
i'm not picky at all when it comes to albums lmao! like even if i don't get a jun photocard i don't complain that much bc i still got a photocard of a member!! like i have a jun, yeol and minseok photocard (and baekhyun poster and jongdae slide thing from obsession) and honestly i'm still happy to get the merch cuz it's exo and i love exo!! :D
AND AGH IM SO SAD IT SAID IT'S COMING LATE😭😭😭like it was gonna originally come on saturday but then usps said thursday (today) and i checked the tracking number and it said "coming late" )): agh but we'll see 🤞🏻 i just hope it comes soon!!
AGH i need to prepare for the filming😭😭i need to find a tri pod and clear my desk and make sure my family doesn't interrupt me AJDHJDH and AAA i hate my voice so much i was so shy when recording!!! but i turned my phone around and spoke from the heart and i felt more comfy!! i may not speak in the asmr tho i'll just let my glue on manicure do the talking LOL!! i love hearing nails tap on stuff so it'll be fun to do!!
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lovehelpmewrite · 7 years ago
Text
“A friend Steve; you have one of those right? Big guy? Metal arm?”
Title: "A friend Steve; you have one of those right? Bug guy? Metal arm?"
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader starring OFC!Ari, miscellaneous police cars
Word count: 2,038
Summary: tbh I don't even really remember, Steve and the reader are running from HYDRA and happen upon an old friends house where implied smut ensues I guess???
Warnings: A bloody nose, very slight fight scene, very light smut, smut implied, a lot of fluff and joking Steve
[A/N]: This is my fic for Bethtastic’s 6k follower challenge ( @not-moose-one-shots  ) It’s also my first published Steve fic. Please enjoy, and feedback is greatly appreciated (good or bad feedback)
We ran down the empty suburban streets, dodging the spotlights of helicopters and trolling “police” cars. I spotted the house just as a helicopter above us switched on its spotlight. I grabbed Steve’s hand and tugged him as hard as I could to the right, towards the house. I pulled him with me to the sliding glass door I knew was in the back and slid it open, thankful that it was unlocked like she’d said it would be. 
As soon as we stepped inside I closed and locked the door and pulled the blinds down over the glass. We both stood there breathing heavily for a minute, me longer than Steve. He looked around the grand kitchen that we’d stepped into. It was exceptionally nice, humongous, and well stocked. 
“What are we doing here? What if the owner comes down and finds us here?” Steve asked, his voice low as I walked towards the pantry. 
“Don’t worry about it, she’s a friend and she isn’t even here; she’s in Mexico City.“ 
“A friend?” He asked. 
“Someone who won’t mind us staying in her house for a few days while we hide out, a friend Steve; you have one of those right? Big guy, metal arm?” I joked, jumping up onto the kitchen counter and eating a few grapes out of the nearby fruit bowl. Steve let himself smile for a minute before looking around. 
“I’m going to go find a bathroom and shower and then we can talk about getting away from those guys.” I nodded in response and watched his pert ass sway in his tight jeans as he walked away. I kissed my teeth just as he left the room, crossing my legs and leaning back on my hand against the countertop. 
“Damn shame…” I whispered, popping another grape into my mouth. Suddenly, the sound of a punch landing and the quiet click of a gun’s hammer being pulled back echoed around the room. 
Steve backed into the kitchen once more, one hand up as he stared at whoever had the gun and the other hand holding a bloody nose. I was off the countertop in an instant, pressing myself to the wall next to the doorway to the kitchen, ready to take down whoever had the gun. As soon as the gun and hands of the person came into view I jumped forward, pushing their arms up as they fired before bringing my leg behind theirs and pushing them to the floor before I knelt quickly and pressed a knee to their throat. 
As soon as I saw who it was I jumped off and threw myself back against the wall. “Jesus Ari, you scared the shit out of me!” I exclaimed. She sat up and rubbed the front of her neck and upper chest. 
“Jesus, you couldn’t say hi before crushing my throat with your knee?” She mocked back. I stood, putting out a hand and pulling her up with me. Steve stood off to the side staring at the both of us, his blood slowly dripping onto his shirt and the floor. 
“You couldn’t have chosen a different house?” Steve asked, finally gaining my and Ari’s attention. I smiled, letting a small laugh escape my lips. 
“Sorry, Ari, this is Steve, Steve, this is my friend Ari,” I introduced. 
“Sorry, I….I thought that you were Hydra, or some government agent coming to look for her or me or something,” Ari apologized. 
“It’s okay, I think Y/N thought the same of you,” Steve joked, managing a smile even with blood dripping off his chin. 
“Alright well, why don’t you two go upstairs and get cleaned up, again, sorry Steve. The bedroom with the big shower is upstairs and to the left, end of the hall,” Ari explained, “Try not to get too much blood on my carpet please, use a towel or something; and stay safe!” she called after us, winking at me as soon as Steve was turned around. 
Steve trudged his way up the double flight of stairs using the bottom of his shirt to staunch the flow of blood from his face until he could find a towel. He gestured ahead of him when we finally reached the door and I swung it open easily, passing by the 5-star hotel worthy room for the equally beautiful bathroom for a towel. I reached into Ari’s bathroom closet full of plush white towels and grabbed one before walking back into the bedroom, watching Steve be in awe of such luxury. I chuckled and threw the towel at his chest, not surprised when he still caught it, even in his dazed state. 
“The awe will wear off in a little while, in the meantime, I’m gonna shower and you can deal with your bloody nose.” I quickly turned on my heal before I caught myself staring at him again, shutting the bathroom door quietly behind me. I leaned against it a second and let out a slow breath before pushing off of it and grabbing 2 fluffy towels out of the closet and throwing them over the side of the clear glass encased shower. I slowly peeled off my sweat and dirt covered shirt, followed by my pants which pulled slightly at the still scabbing scar tissue on my thigh from a previous mission. 
The sensation of my pants being stuck to the wound with dried blood and having to pull it off was less than pleasurable and needless to say, I was glad to finally get my old bra and cotton panties off and get into the spacious shower. I stepped to the side of the showerhead as I turned it on, not wanting to brave the cold water as it warmed up. 
When I was finally under the tranquil pounding of the steaming water I let all the tension built up in my muscles start to melt away. I turned my back to the water, letting the powerful water pressure beat away at the muscles in my shoulders until they relaxed on my body once again. I helped myself to the assorted shower items sitting on a ledge in the shower, gently lathering the lavender shampoo into my scalp and sighing as I finally felt relaxed for the first time in days. As I let the shampoo sit in my hair I took the sea salt infused body wash and washing my upper body, taking care to wash away any leftover grime from the mission with Steve. I let myself enjoy the entire shower experience, even shaving my underarms and legs with a razor that was sitting on the shelf of shower items. Halfway through rinsing my conditioner out, there was a small knock on the door. 
“Come in,” I answered, glad the steam of the shower covered the glass of the shower when I recognized Steve’s frame step into the bathroom. 
“Ari said there would be clothes and a hairbrush and whatnot in this bag so I’m just bringing it in here for you, it’s on the counter.” I smiled, even when I couldn’t fully make him out I could see the quiet awkwardness that was Steve Rogers. 
“Thanks, I’ll be out in a few,” I answered back, not keeping the relaxedness of my body out of my voice. He just murmured a small 
“Okay,” before leaving the bathroom, the soft click of the door signaling his exit. I let myself stand under the warm stream for a few more seconds before sighing and shutting the water off. I wrapped one towel around my hair after wringing it out and wrapped one around my body. 
I shivered for a second as the cold air outside the shower hit my skin before quickly drying all the remaining water off of my body and reaching in the back Ari had put together for me. Expecting the normal cotton panties I normally wore I reached around the bag surprised to pull out a pair of black lacy boy shorts followed by a black, sheer, unlined bra with the same lace around the edges. “Goddammit Ari,” I whispered. 
I slipped on the undergarments anyways, not willing to get back into the sweaty, dirty, mess that was my under clothes from before. The underwear was followed by nothing other than a large men’s t-shirt that reached just below my butt. I sighed knowing what Ari was trying to do and just gave up fighting it. Who knows, perhaps something good would come out of it. I reached into the bag and retrieved a bottle of lotion, smoothing it over my legs and body before finally shaking my hair free of the towel on my head and brushing it. I used the given deodorant and closing the bag before giving myself one last once-over in the mirror, shrugging and then opening the door. 
I threw the bag into the nearest chair and watched Steve open his eyes from on his place laying on the bed. 
“Hey…” Steve trailed, watching my every move as I made my way over to the bed. I ran the last few feet and threw myself onto the bed, landing on my side. I smiled up at him before wrinkling my nose at him. 
“You should really shower.” He let out a small laugh, getting up and grabbing a bag of his own that Ari had no doubt filled with an old boyfriend’s clothes. Steve’s shower lasted significantly shorter than I’m sure mine did, not even allowing me enough time to fall asleep. 
As Steve stepped out of the bathroom, steam billowing around him in only a pair of boxers I was sure you could see the change in my face from tired to completely turned on. He seemed to not understand the fact that I wasn’t used to seeing so much of him; his strong chest, his thick thighs, his bulging biceps… 
“The shirt didn’t fit so I guess I’ll be sleeping in this,” he explained, throwing his bag in the chair with mine before laying back down on the bed facing me on his side. 
“That’s a real shame,” I managed to get out. Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. 
“The shirt, I mean.” He nodded, his eyes searching my face carefully. 
“Is it?” 
“Hmm?” I asked back, not fully comprehending his speech when he was this close and this shirtless. 
“Is it really a shame Y/N? Cause you don’t seem too upset by it,” Steve said, a slow grin working onto his face. “What do you really think?” He continued, staring into my eye challengingly. 
“I think,” I started, swallowing and trying to gain back my words. “I think that I haven’t gotten to see this much of you very often and it’s pretty damn amazing. I think I want to definitely make out with you but if you don’t want to that’s complete-” I got cut off by Steve’s lips pressing softly to mine. 
I lost myself in the kiss, not even noticing when he had moved so he laid back against the headboard and I sat in his lap. My hands traveled of their own accord, pressing my fingertips into his shoulders before grasping at the hairs at the back of his neck. His hands roamed over my back and down my sides, over my waist and hips before settling on my upper thighs. We both groaned aloud as I pressed my hips down onto him, breaking the kiss to breathe and press our foreheads together. 
Suddenly there was the sound of something moving over the carpet near the door. We both looked to see a condom laying just under the edge of the door, Ari’s voicing ringing on the other side of the wooden door. 
“Be safe!” And then the soft pat-pat of her feet running away quickly. I let out a soft laugh, closing my eyes and dropping my head into Steve’s neck.
“You could have chosen a different house,” He said quietly. 
“Shut up.”
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