#not my favorite experience but one i was determined to have anyway just to see the thing through to the end

[july-19th-club]

forced myself to finish this book even though by the last hundred pages or so all i was doing was picking apart the post-catholicism of it all. bc i feel like it's important to read shit you don't gel with . just because. even though the whole way through i was like they HAVE to prove it's not real. they HAVE to. so not the point of any of it but i was desperate for them to Find The Body etc. and of course instead they have mystical time travel experiences and all that because that is the kind of book the actual star is but i was desperate for them to realize that the star you see is the actual star. and then it wasn't

[wondrluv]

୨୧ what you deserve ; pb5

➪ summary: when paige learns that you've never been to prom, she makes it her mission to change that, giving you the prom you deserve

➪ warnings: prom, illusions to not having money (kind of but not really), feeling like you have to go to prom with someone. lowkey kind of choppy, lots of time jumps, def not my best work

➪ word count: 2.4k

➪ emma's notes: changing everything to say dallas wings instead of uconn huskies made me both so proud and upset. but like- okay anyway. also dallas has blue in their logo so i'm keeping paige's things blue. anyway again. i hope you guys like this :) here's some picture references -> dress ! nails ! hair ! as i am writing this i realized i never wrote paige's reaction to seeing her in the dress so let me know if you want a part two and i will write, i am easily persuaded

© wondrluv ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

You’d never told anyone, mostly because the first time you told someone you never went to prom, they looked at you like you had just told them you killed their cat, and then you had to listen and answer their questions, wondering if you regretted it. 

And the truth was, no. You didn’t regret it. Spending $80 to attend a party where you’d be surrounded by people you probably would never see again, eat some food that barely tasted like actual food, and take pictures that you would post the next day and then forget about them the day after. Add that on top of however much money it would take you to get a dress that you didn’t even really like, made you feel uncomfortable, and only wear it once? 

To some people, that seemed like a huge offense; prom was something that they looked forward to since they knew what prom was. You could admit, it had its appeals; hanging out with your friends, getting all dressed up, being with someone you loved (or convinced yourself you did). 

It seemed like a school function that you could only have fun with if you went with a date or a huge group of people, and you had neither of those. It didn’t bother you, not really. Deep down, you thought it would’ve been nice to have been able to experience the thing all kids your age raved about when they got back to school the following Monday. To dance with your friends and someone who gave you butterflies when you so much as looked at them. To sneak some alcohol at a random after-party despite telling your parents you wouldn’t. 

But at the end of the day, you didn’t want to put your family down 100+ dollars just to have fun for one night only, to have memories that you would forget about years later, even if everyone said you wouldn’t. 

You were determined to keep this small piece of information to yourself after the first encounter you had when you did tell someone. Yet it seemed like the universe had other plans. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

It was something you had done a million times, hang out in someone’s apartment or dorm with a bunch of food as you KK started the live and talked to the chat, answering their questions. You sat next to Paige, eating your food slowly, taking sips of your water between bites, her arm wrapped around your shoulders, tugging you into her side. 

“Favorite prom moment? Oh uh-” You tensed at the question, hoping nobody would direct their eyes to you and ask for your answer. If Paige noticed your behavior, she didn’t say anything. 

One by one, they answered with their own memory, and one by one, you listened intently, trying to distract yourself from the possibility of having to confess the thing you’d been keeping a secret. Sure, it wasn’t a huge secret, something that wouldn’t hurt anybody's feelings or ruin your relationships, but the way people looked at you like you were crazy seemed to make your stomach just as queasy. 

“Y/n/n? What about you?”

You froze, looking up from your food and staring at Azzi with a surprised expression, “What?”

“Your favorite prom moment, ma,” Paige whispered, nudging you out of whatever trance you were in. 

“Oh, um- I never went to prom.”

You watched as each of them reacted - Paige, KK, Azzi, Ice, Kaitlyn, Sarah. Azzi was the one to say something, her expression softening, her eyes full of curiosity, “You never went to prom?”

“Nah, didn’t want to spend the money on it, it would be a huge hit to my parents. I had my fill of Homecomings, prom just seemed like a more glamorous version of it. Plus- never mind. Yeah, just didn’t want to.”

“You never told me that, ma.”

You just shrugged, going back to staring at your food, lifting a bite to your mouth. The group continued to gaze at you sadly but quickly diverted their attention when they saw the look on Paige’s face. 

“Baby…”

“Hmm?” 

KK moved the phone just slightly so the two of you were out of frame, Paige shooting her a grateful expression before focusing on you again, her fingers underneath your chin to tilt your head up. 

“How come you didn’t tell me that?”

“Never seemed relevant. Honestly, P. It’s no big deal, I didn’t like dances. Nothing more than that.”

“You’re telling me you never wanted to experience prom?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“There’s gotta be more than that, Ma. C’mon, I know you too well.”

You just sighed, picking at your food. Her hand reached out, resting over yours and pausing your movements, “Tell me.”

“I never had someone to go with.” Her eyebrows furrowed, urging you to continue, “I didn’t like anyone, or at least, nobody that liked me back. My friend group was made up of people who had other friend groups, so I just never had anyone to go with.”

“M’sorry, baby.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine. I promise, it’s not a big deal.”

You could see the look in her eyes, it wasn’t pity. She would never look at you like that. Sympathy? No. Empathy? No. It was one you’d seen way too many times since you met Paige Bueckers. A look that could only be described as the Paige look. It happened before games, during a hard practice, and when she was doing homework. 

It was the look she gave when she got an idea, and no one was going to be able to stop her. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Two weeks later, you’re waking from your bed to a knock at your door. Your phone lights up with a random notification, allowing you to see the time staring at you. 9:30. Normally, you’d be fine waking up at this time, but you’d had so many assignments and tests the past two weeks that you needed to sleep in. 

You opened the door, shock making its way onto your face as you stared at the girl in front of you, “Azzi? What are you doing here?”

“Girls' day!”

You dragged your hand down your face, blinking at her slowly, “Girls' day?”

“Yeah, c’mon, let's get you dressed. We’ll go get some food and then we’ll get your nails done and your hair done, and your makeup.”

“For any particular reason?” You stepped aside, Azzi bee-lined it to your closet to flip through your clothes, landing on a pair of jeans and a UConn Women’s basketball shirt that was probably Paige’s.

“Paige said you’ve been stressed. So I figured you needed a day of pampering. Plus, Paige was busy, so you’re left with the second-best option, me!”

“Oh, c’mon. You know you’re my number one, Az.”

She just grinned at you, handing you the clothes, “Nice try. Get dressed, brush your hair and your teeth.”

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

With each spot, you grew more and more suspicious of Azzi’s motives. The way she’d be giggling as she looked at her phone, sneaking glances at you before typing something out. The way she’d insist on getting your nails done dark blue with white accents because she was ‘feeling it’. The way she handed the hairstylist a pack of clear, glittery butterfly clips. It was getting to be too much. 

But the final thing that set you off was when you got back to your dorm and your roommate was there, holding a large garment bag. You looked between them, eyes narrowing at Azzi’s less than innocent expression, “Okay, what is going on?”

“Nothing!” 

“Guys…”

“We can’t say anything, it’d ruin it. Just please- put on what’s in the bag.”

Your eyes narrowed even further, slowly unzipping the bag to reveal the dress you’d never even dream of having. It was a dark blue, one that reminded you of the multiple UConn shirts and sweatshirts you had in your closet. It had an illusion neckline with two straps and a corset-type bodice that was sheer, the skirt fluffy and flowy, but not too much. Rhinestones covered the entire top half, a few lines of sparkle dripping down the skirt. 

“What? What is this for?”

Your roommate and Azzi just shared matching expressions, a huge grin on their faces as they urged you into the bathroom to change. All you could do was let them shove you in the direction, staring at yourself in the mirror as you tried to figure out what was happening. 

You slipped the dress off the hanger, stepping into it and admiring it every time it moved with you. You zipped it up as best you could without straining, and when you couldn’t get it to go up any further, you stepped out of the bathroom, stepping into their view. 

“Can you guys help me with the zipper?”

Their heads snapped over at your soft voice, mouths opening slightly as they looked you up and down. You let out a nervous laugh, arms wrapping around your stomach in habit, “Does it look bad?”

“No- holy shit no, you look good, y/n/n. Like jaw-dropping. She’s gonna freak when she sees you in this.”

“She?”

Azzi froze, mentally cursing herself at her slip-up, “I uh-okay fine, this might have something to do with Paige, but that’s all you get.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought of Paige seeing you like this, in this dress, your hair and nails done like you had somewhere important to be. You turned around, mind racing at what Paige’s reaction would be like when she did see you as your roommate finished zipping you up. 

Unbeknownst to you, you wouldn’t have to wait long. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Azzi led you downstairs, where the two of you came to a stop in front of a limo. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, because now you knew Paige had something to do with this. Your eyes drifted over to where someone stood, and it took you a few moments to realize that there was KK, decked out in a suit and a pair of all black sunglasses covering her eyes. 

“Miss. y/l/n, your chariot awaits.”

“My chariot?” A laugh bubbled out of you, hand going up to cover your mouth. 

KK ignored you, simply opening the door and gesturing for you to climb in. You rolled your eyes again, a smile still playing at your lips as you slid into the limo, immediately met with five bodies. Kaitlyn, Aubrey, Sarah, Morgan, and Jana all sat there, in their own formal outfits and a small rose in each of their hands. 

“Okay, I’m actually so confused right now. What is happening?”

“Girls night!”

“I seem to be hearing that a lot. What’s with the flowers?”

“They’re for you.” Kaitlyn handed you hers first, followed by Sarah, and then Jana, Aubrey, and Morgan.

“So any clue where we’re going?”

They just smiled again, saying nothing and handing you a glass which you eyed eerily but took anyway. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

Five minutes later, they were leading you into a park. 

“Did we all just get dressed up for you to kill me because this is all really sketchy?”

“C’mon, y/n/n. If we were gonna kill you, we wouldn’t be dressed up.” Jana wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

You came to a stop in front of a tree, Paige standing there with a sign that said “My shooting percentage is 99%, but you’re the only 1 I need at prom”, but that wasn’t what you were paying attention to. 

You could only focus on the way the suit clung to her, the dark blue tie that matched the color of your dress perfectly, the rings on her hands, the bracelet that hung loosely on her wrist - the only you got her for her birthday last year -, the two necklaces hanging from her neck - one with a cross and one with your initial -, the way her hair fell perfectly against the suit, tucked behind her ears, and the dorkiest, smug expression on her face. 

“P…”

“C’mon, ma. What do you say? Make me the happiest girl and go to prom with me?”

You were in shock, eyes almost watering at the whole situation. You took a hesitant step forward, your hand reaching out for hers, and she took it with no instruction. She pulled you closer, grip tight as you stared up at her, “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” She laughed softly, “The way you talked about not having anyone to go to prom with broke my heart because you should’ve been the girl everyone was tripping over their heels to ask. But that also means that I’m the only one who gets to ask you, which is boosting my ego a lil’ too much.”

Your giggle was full of tears, but you didn’t care; this was everything you could ever ask for and more. “Yeah, I’ll go to prom with you, Paige Bueckers.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She pressed a kiss to your temple, sign dropping from her grasp as she pulled you into a tight hug. 

ﾟ+*:୨୧:*﹤

You shouldn’t have been surprised by this, Paige pulling whatever strings she had to get Gampel to look like some whimsical, magical place with fairy lights and a large table to eat at, a backdrop to take pictures with balloons that spelled out Prom next to it. 

“Paige, this is- this is too much.”

“It’s not too much. It’s just what you deserve.” Her arm wrapped around you, pulling you in front of her to rest her chin on your shoulder, head turning just slightly to press a kiss to your neck. 

Your hands rested on top of hers, still looking around in awe as the team all started laughing and dancing to the music playing through the speakers.

“You really did all this for me?”

“I’d do anything for you.”

You just shook your head, smiling, turning in her arms to cup her cheeks and pull her into a kiss. Her hands found their way to your hips, squeezing slightly as her tongue swiped against your bottom lip, seeking entrance. 

When the two of you pulled away, both breathing a little bit heavier, your cheeks flushed, and you smiled even wider, your voice soft, “Thank you.”

“Like I said, you deserve this, and I’d do anything to give you what you deserve.”

꒰ DALLAS WINGS TAGLIST ꒱

@alexxavicry

PB5 MASTERLIST ; WBB MASTERLIST

TAGLIST ; NAVIGATION

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

do you have any new recs for sterek with size difference? (preferably with smaller stiles)

Sure.

The Hoodie by PersePhonesDreams

(1/1 I 1,988 I General)

Stiles didn’t mean to keep Derek’s hoodie—really, he didn’t. But the oversized, ridiculously soft thing quickly became his favorite comfort item, a piece of Derek he couldn’t quite let go of. It’s not like Derek would notice anyway... right?

When Derek unexpectedly shows up at Stiles’ window one quiet night, Stiles’ not-so-secret attachment to the hoodie is exposed, leading to a conversation that changes everything.

Cue awkward confessions, teasing smiles, and the realization that maybe Derek doesn’t mind Stiles keeping more than just his hoodie.

jacked and kind by LookWhatIHaveWaitingForMe

(4/4 I 3,288 I Mature)

Stiles forces Derek to participate in the "jacked and kind" TikTok trend and this time Derek doesn't need convincing.

Be Still, My (Beating) Heart by mznaughty01

(1/1 I 3,878 I Explicit)

The time for games was definitely over. Because now? Now it was time for Derek to breed Stiles’s sweet ass.

(K)Not Tonight by slimypaws

(1/1 I 4,961 I Explicit)

Stiles had the very clever idea to go to his favourite place while in heat and during a full moon on top of that, his brain clearly having melted into a useless puddle.

He had never picked up the scent of another person, werewolf or human, here after all, so why should he start to worry now? Until he did pick up another scent after all. Everything went downhill from there.

Teen Witch by AngieNoir

(2/? I 8086 I Explicit)

Derek knows that there's something strange about Stiles and that's stirring up trouble in Beacon Hills, drawing the attention of werewolf hunters. Driven to protect his own, he believes he must kill the young witch. Yet, as he watches him, Derek finds himself falling in love, torn between duty and desire. A werewolf. A witch. And a danger that’s impossible to resist.

Wrapped in a Dream by wolfcloaks

(8/8 I 34,577 I Explicit)

He finds him in the middle of the clearing, mouth grappling with a foreign tongue, alabaster skin damp with the remnants of prior rain.

He's absolutely beautiful, Derek thinks, this creature, this boy.

Matenapped by xcaellachx

(12/12 I 36,671 I Explicit)

Alpha Derek Hale has known Spark Stiles Stilinski was his mate for over six years. The traumatized Spark had killed the rogue alpha who tried to kill his friend so many years ago and was still scarred by the experience. Now, Stiles was settled in as a magic shop owner and Derek was ready to claim him for his own. The ritual of matenapping was an old but accepted tradition and Derek had his den ready to receive his mate. It was time.

Stiles Stilinski thought Lydia was insane for thinking the sexy alpha wanted to matenap him. He was damaged by his past and determined to stay single so he didn't harm anyone. He kept his magic tightly leashed and couldn't believe that anyone could want him. Not a murderer. Even when the wolf came to see him and touched him gently, winking at him and looking at him longingly, he just couldn't accept it.

Very soon, Stiles wouldn't have a choice but to believe it. Derek was taking his mate and bringing him to his mating den where he would court and woo him until he couldn't help but fall in love with him.

The Lighthouse Keeper by tugela54

(11/11 I 75,073 I Explicit)

On a rural island just off Alaska’s northern Inside Passage, stands a centuries old lighthouse - the perfect sanctuary for its keeper to hide when the moon is full, to burn and rage through its cycle with the townsfolk being none the wiser.

But then a new resident comes to Beacon Harbour – a bright-eyed young student chasing an elusive whale species – and all of a sudden those thick stone walls seem paper thin…

Delinquents for Hire, Won’t you Let us Conspire? by skayaks

(18/18 I 89.909 I Mature)

The Sheriff slams a gun on the dining table, “What are your intentions with my son?” Stiles violently spits his water out, coughing instantly from the sheer disbelief.

OR

The one where a reluctant Stiles Stilinski goes to a very intimidating delinquent Derek Hale for help when he’s finally fed up with being picked on by Jackson’s shitty gang of wannabe jocks.

Naturally, as things tend to go for Stiles, he doesn’t have much of a fun time.

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE july edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the july catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

in this addition i've experimented with new sections (like the horoscope section) so i hope that u guys look forward to it and if u have any more suggestions for the magazine feel free to share and without further ado, lets get into it with some beauty talk…💬🎀

BEAUTY SHOPPING LIST ;

♡ kiko milano lipgloss

♡ L.A girl glitter spray

♡ cotton candy baby lipgloss from victorias secret

i've gone for more tubes of cotton candy baby because its just SUCH a good lipgloss but i recently lost mine and its been on my list to get next time i go to the mall…💬🎀

♡ crispy marshmallow bars body wash from philosophy

ugh just the NAME of this soap sounds absolutely delicious and im dying to try it out. im a big fan of the philosophy body washes anyways because of the quality and scents…💬🎀

♡ coconut craze lipgloss from victorias secret

♡ pink mimosa lipgloss from victorias secret

another thing that i wanted to talk about in this months beauty column is the DIFFERENCE that blush placement makes. so i was scrolling on pinterest when i came across this chart that talked about blush placement.

when you apply blush a certain way it balances out ur beautiful features and plays around with proportions in such a way that can make ur features more prominent. also the way that u apply ur blush totally changes the way that ur makeup looks.

for example when u apply blush to the apples of ur cheeks it gives a more youthful and glowy effect. when u put blush high on ur cheekbones it gives a more lifted and sculpted look which is where the blush chart comes in. depending on ur face shape u can determine which style of blush placement complements ur pretty face the best 💗

WHAT R WE LISTENING TO? ;

the most listened to album i've listened to all month has been butterfly by mariah carey. it was released in 1997 and every single song on that album is a total MASTER PIECE. some of my favorites include

♡ honey (DUH)

♡ babydoll

however that album is from 1997 so lets talk about some new music that i LOVED that also dropped this month…💬🎀

♡ brat- charli xcx

♡ muse - jimin

another album that has been gathering lots of attention on lots of social media platforms is ice spice's Y2K album and i've seen a lot of mixed reviews about it. personally im not a fan of the album, my favorite song on the album is did it first but im not a fan of the album as a whole. im curious though to hear what your thoughts on the album are…💬🎀

FASHION FLOPS VS FASHION BOPS ;

in this column, lets look at some old and new fashion trends and see which trends are flops and which ones are bops. my sources include vogue, and glamour magazine…💬🎀

according to vogue, statement gowns are OUT and discreet chics are IN. discreet chic is mixing basics in minimalist yet compelling ways. this includes things like trench coats, pencil skirts, trouser suits and good jeans.

according to glamour magazine, crisp whites and butter yellows are trending this summer. along with sequins and basics like denim pants and white t-shirts, polished kitten heels and mary jane flats also. the styles that are trending for this summer are boho 3.0 and little white dresses.

something i can DEF get behind is little white dresses. its like a blank canvas on which u can make the outfit into whatever you want. personally i would style a tiny white dress with chunky bracelets and wedges/kitten heels…💬🎀

LETS TALK MANIFESTATION ;

manifestation techniques are overrated - all you have to do to manifest is affirm -> persist. thats essentially all you have to do and when i first started i was so caught up in techniques and routines that i wasn't even affirming/persisting. i was doing anything and everything and i saw manifestation as a process and manifestation is NOT a process. when i shifted that and realized that manifesting is instant and all techniques are for funsies, the pressure was taken off.

this is an excerpt from my manifestation opinions post and i've released this poll to talk about what manifestation topic you guys would like me to talk about and the winner was saturation so lets talk about it. so what does it mean to saturate? i got this question a while ago in my inbox so im just gonna copy and paste my response.

saturating is simply soaking ur mind in the fact that u already have what u want. i do this with affirming, some people do other things to saturate but affirming is the most simple for me. just think as if u have it over and over and over again…💬🎀

you can saturate for hours at a time or a little bit everyday it doesnt rly matter its just thinking over and over again. i saturate while listening to music, playing video games, doing mundane tasks etc. all i do is think my affirmations and thats all! if theres something specific that u guys are curious about with saturation lemme know in the comments but its super simple bcuz MANIFESTING is super simple.

JENNIE KIM STYLE DISSECTION ;

jennie kim is a fashion ICON. i swear every photo that i see of her, her outfit, hair, face, everything is absolutely perfect. jennie's style is very posh and feminine. and a rly great example of this would be her look below. i love how she color coordinated her hair accessories to her outfit and the black and pink is so ICONIC cuz she was a black pink member.

shes rocking her trademark chanel in the form of a waist chain and everything just goes together beautifully. jennie knows how to mix posh and hyper femininity in her outfits super well and we can see that in her next outfit…💬🎀

THE CHANEL CHAIN AHHH IM OBSESSED. in the next outfit shes rocking a red two piece with buttons that just add that very chic and posh look. her chanel chain is such a statement piece and her matching chanel purse, shes literally chanels princess atp.

WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (JULY 22-29) ;

♡ its leo season and leo season is all about TIMING. you will receive ur answer very soon, listen to ur intuition and notice how everything is coming together for you. while you’re shining in the moment, remember to think about the future when mercury enters virgo and your value zone on thursday. you’ll want to go over details with a fine-tooth comb, so take your time making decisions. don’t rush into anything!

♡ for aries the next four weeks are ideal for enjoying entertainment, starting hobbies, and expressing yourself. indulge in the pleasures that summer has to offer without burning your life down.however, while you enjoy the rest of your summer, consider getting your life in order when mercury enters virgo and your productivity zone on thursday. the retrograde will be here shortly, aries, so take this time to get your ducks in a row. 

♡ for taurus, start the week by practicing self-care when the sun enters leo and your home zone on monday. the next few weeks could be a little hectic, so try to spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. be generous with your time by hosting family dinners and small parties.despite the upcoming retrograde, you’ll still have plenty of opportunities for some fun when mercury enters virgo and your creativity zone on thursday. this is a great time to busy yourself with creative projects, flirt with people, and entertain yourself with concerts and movies. have fun!

♡ for gemini, you’ll have a flair for the dramatic over the next few weeks once the sun enters leo and your communication zone on monday. everything you do and say will be bold and vibrant. your social calendar will be full of summer activities, so enjoy yourself without getting exhausted.get ready to become the family problem solver when mercury enters virgo and your home zone on thursday. it seems like everyone is coming to you to fix their lives before the retrograde, so this is a great time to focus on domestic issues. remember to set boundaries so any family drama doesn’t bring you down, gemini.

♡ for cancer, as your season comes to an end, your mind will be on your financial security when the sun enters leo and your value zone on monday. however, if you want any luxury in your life, you’re going to have to work for it. this is a great time to start side hustles and invest in things that matter to you. say what you mean and mean what you say when mercury enters virgo and your communication zone on thursday. this transit gives you the ability to cut through the chaos and get to the truth of any issue.

♡ for virgo, spend the rest of your summer break away from the madding crowd when the sun enters leo and your privacy zone on monday. over the next few weeks, you might feel the need to retreat from the world and focus on yourself. give yourself a mental and emotional cleanse before your season begins. your communication skills get a major boost this week when mercury enters your sign on thursday. while this is a brief reunion before the retrograde, this is a great time for new beginnings and getting your point across. speak with confidence, virgo.

♡ for libra, you’ll be feeling like a social butterfly over the next few weeks once the sun enters leo and your friendship zone on monday. this is a great time to hit the summer parties and make some connections. you could even meet your new besties. have fun! however, you might feel the need to retreat into yourself when mercury enters virgo and your subconscious zone on thursday. perfectionism could lead to your undoing as you come to terms with what’s working and not working in your life. focus on how to fix these areas without overcorrecting, libra. analyze your dreams to find clarity.

♡ for scorpio, despite being in the heart of summer, you’re more focused on building a reputation and making a name for yourself when the sun enters leo and your public image zone on monday. over the next four weeks, go after your ambitions and stand out from the crowd to get noticed by the right people. you’ll be especially interested in your personal aspirations when mercury enters virgo and your humanitarian zone on thursday. you have some big dreams, so lay the groundwork to get them going. make a wish, scorpio. it might come true.

♡ for sagittarius, start the week on an adventurous note when the sun enters leo and your expansion zone on monday. the next few weeks will give you opportunities to expand your horizons, for better or worse. this is a great time to travel or interact with people from different walks of life. as we get into the heat of summer, start thinking about your future when mercury enters virgo and your career zone on thursday. this is a great time to think about your professional goals and how you can get ahead in the workplace. think smarter and harder, sagittarius.

♡ for capricorn, the start of the week brings changes to your life when the sun enters leo and your transformation zone on monday. you might feel like a phoenix over the next few weeks as you sit with the ashes of your former life. while the sun shines a light on everything that is hidden, you’ll need to decide what to let go of, capricorn. class is in session when mercury enters virgo and your expansion zone on thursday, especially since this transit will give you plenty of lessons to learn, for better or worse. this is a great time to expand your mental horizons through education. it could change your life.

♡ for aquarius, “me” turns into “we” over the next few weeks when the sun enters leo and your partnership zone on monday. this is more than just a summer fling; it’s the real thing, so lock it down now. however, make sure to balance your time together and apart or it could cause some drama. read between the lines and you can uncover hidden meanings when mercury enters virgo and your intuition zone on thursday. trust your gut, aquarius, because it can guide you through the hidden motives others might have for you. be careful, and don’t make any big decisions before the retrograde.

♡ for pisces, even in the heat of summer, you’ll still have plenty of work to do when the sun enters leo and your productivity zone on monday. work on taking care of yourself through self-improvement. what do you want to get better at, pisces? try it out now. the rest of the summer could be intense, so make sure you have a buddy to help you through when mercury enters virgo and your partnership zone on thursday. this is a great time to end all conflict and work on agreements before the retrograde hits. compromise is key, if you’re willing to work at it.

[xuchiya]

"3 points for the pretty lady!" || choi jongho || one-shot

| genre: non!idol ateez. fluff. slice of life | mentions: teasing. fainting. jewelry gift. ankle injury | This is literally my high school delusions. My old school is literally an 'old school' school like no phones and computers, being in a relationship is not allowed, and big ass windows as our source of fans--- i mean we do have electric fans and ceiling fans but with the weather and a very old, close to dying, e-fans? We really have to depend on the wind from our windows. Anyways, this list is basically a true experience. My personal favorite? Song Mingi's.

The electric atmosphere in school finally found its release. The annual intramural games finally arrived, and the whole high school was abuzz with excitement. Students from every section swarmed to the courts to contest each other in volleyball, basketball, and badminton. This is the kind of energy you thrive on-except this year, you can't be a part of it.

Two weeks back, a lousy ankle injury had taken you out of the volleyball team. It wasn't just sprained at that angle; it was a complete break. And the doctor had said to lay off for a few weeks, absolutely none of the heavy duties. To begin with, the break had kept you at home—away from the school and the exhilaration of intramurals. But at the end of the week of inactivity—with tedium climbing, siren call after snowy-carolled siren call intercepting your fantasies—you decided, no, you certainly would not have intramurals slip by just because you had a broken leg. If you weren't able to be on the court, then at least you'd be cheering from the sidelines.

You had made it to school in a wheelchair, courtesy of a thoughtful classmate, and were determined to watch your section compete. They wheeled you out of the classroom and into the hallway that led out onto an outdoor balcony that overlooked the massive quadrangle; a sight of the two basketball courts set up in the middle of wide-open space sent a wave of nostalgia. You might not have been able to play, but being there felt right.

Some of your classmates had staked out spots on the floor, legs swinging out over the edge of the balcony as they leaned over the railing to cheer for your section. Not wanting to take up too much room, you sat sideways in the wheelchair, torso twisted slightly, arms on the railing. From here, you could see everything:.

Your section's basketball team was in the middle of an intense game. Though the score was tight, the opponent was leading with a wide margin of ten points. Not knowing the sport precisely, you knew by then the stakes of a basketball game. The tension in the air was thick, as your classmates cheered and groaned at every gained or lost point.

Curious about the lineup, you leaned over to tap Chaewon. "Hey Chae, who's in the lineup?"

"Oh, I think it's Hongjoong, Minho, and Changbin. Oh! Keeho and Soul.and Jongho." You thanked her and returned your gaze to the game. Then, your eyes found him—Choi Jongho. The light chestnut hair that was his head caught the sun as he ran effortlessly across the court. Even though his team was behind, Jongho didn't appear fazed. If anything, he looked more determined than ever. You watched as he skillfully weaved through defenders, driving toward the hoop, his focus unbreakable. He made a layup, cutting the other team's lead down to eight points. The crowd roared in approval.

Your heart felt like it was ready to pop from your chest. Jongho had been everywhere-snatching the ball now, passing it off quickly and taking shots that didn't seem possible. Never to give up, he had slowly chipped away at the lead the other team had. And just when you thought he couldn't do more, a foul would be called on the opposing team.

And it would be Jongho's chance to make a free throw.

You watched, breathless, as he stepped up to the line. The entire court seemed to go silent while he prepared for his shot. Your fingers curled tightly around the armrests of your wheelchair, and your stomach was knotting with tension. You didn't even realize that you were squirming in your seat, nervous for him.

Jongho's first shot flew through the air and swished smoothly through the net. The relief coursed through your body, and your classmates erupted into cheers. But it wasn't over yet-he still had one more free throw to make.

As Jongho got ready for his second shot, the unexpected happened. He turned his head, his gaze slicing over to your direction until it landed on you. The second dragged itself away when, out of the blue, he winked, and your heart fluttered in surprise at the action.

Then, in one smooth, flowing motion, Jongho released the shot. It arced through the air with a beautiful, poised grace, and again, it went down. The crowd erupted, and you couldn't help but smile as pride and excitement rushed in to take the place of the nerves you'd felt only a moment before.

The game wasn't over yet. Literally only with seconds to go, the opposing team rushes down the court desperately seeking a final shot. They missed and your team gained possession again. Jongho had the ball again; the crowd was standing on their feet, waiting for his next move.

He jogged up to the three-point line, turned towards the court, and called out in a loud, clear voice, "To the girl in the wheelchair, this three-pointer is for you."

Your classmates all turned to you, making you blush deep in your seat, using your hair to hide the burning of your cheeks. Chaewon teased, "Looks like someone's gonna shoot their shot."

You playfully threw your handkerchief at her, cheeks still burning. "Yah, stop!

You hold your breath as Jongho steps onto the semicircle of the three-point line. In one swift, smooth motion, the shot releases with his fingers curled. His middle, ring, and pinky fingers stay extended in the air as he turns around, not even looking as the ball is arced through the air beautifully, spinning in perfect form. It seemed to take an eternity, almost in slow motion, as one watched it approach the basket. The court was silent but for every pair of eyes that were on the ball. And then-swish. The ball passed cleanly through the hoop, right as the buzzer blared, signaling the end of the game.

The crowd exploded into cheers that resonated throughout the quadrangle, Jongho's eyes meeting yours once again, a satisfied grin spreading over his features. You can't help the smile breaking on your face, clapping and cheering for him and your team.

Jongho's shot had sealed the win for your section, and though you weren't on the court, you felt like a part of this victory. He had dedicated that last shot to you, and the feeling of camaraderie and connection was strong as ever between you and your classmates. It was their victory, and excitement just seemed contagious. His teammates stormed to Jongho, congratulating him for a great performance. But just as he could leap into the revelry, Jongho raised his eyes to the balcony, and for a moment, he let his eyes lock onto yours once again.

You cupped your hands around your mouth and yelled, "To number 12, shoot your shot already!" Jongho snorted in amusement as his team and coach went on him, teasing him. You threw him a wink this time.

[soapyghostie]

Hiya! Hope you’re doing well! Just found your acc and I love all your stuff!! ^^

Not sure how to rq so I’m hoping i do this right-but please tyt !!

Could you do a young reader telling their favorite slasher(s) they wanna be like them when they grow up? (Ex Danny, Michael, Bubba, Legion… but can be anybody :] )

Awww! You’re so sweet Anon. I’m glad you like my stuff. It makes me happy. Anyways, here is your request! Hope you enjoy!

Michael Myers

You, unaware of the true extent of Michael Myers’ dark tendencies, approaches him with wide-eyed innocence. You are completely perplexed by him, a shrouded mystery, and your fascination with him is born out of a childlike curiosity. From a distance, you have observed Michael’s determination and relentless pursuit of his murderous goals. You admire his seemingly unstoppable nature, viewing him as a figure of strength and power.

Out of naivety, you express your desire to be like Michael when you grow up. You like how he embodies fearlessness and control, qualities you aspire to possess in your own life. 

Michael doesn’t understand why you want to be like him. Seriously, he’s literally a murderer. Sometimes even he wishes he wasn’t who he was, but it is what it is. He just can’t comprehend the innocence behind your words; he takes it too seriously. Plus, at this point, his perception of human emotions and desires is skewed by his own desire to kill, leading him to believe you're just trying to flatter him so he doesn’t kill you. He’s not gonna kill you because you're just a kid if you're wondering though; he doesn’t kill kids. 

In response, Michael remains eerily silent, his impassive mask betraying no hint of emotion. His lack of verbal response strikes you with greater fascination for the tall silent man. However, Michael may not communicate verbally, his mere presence serves as a silent warning of the possible dangers he could put you through. His cold, unyielding gaze conveys a sense of danger, hinting at the darkness that lurks beneath his outward facade. Despite your admiration, you start to feel uneasy under his presence. He just wants you to stop bothering him. It’s nothing personal; he’s just not really a fan of kids.

As you run off, you still remain blissfully unaware of the true depths of Michael’s wickedness. In your mind, he remains a symbol of strength and resilience, your admiration undiminished by the sinister reality of who Michael Myers truly is.

Jason Voorhees

You, unaware of Jason’s violent reputation around Camp Crystal Lake, approach him with an innocent admiration. To you, Jason is a larger-than-life type figure, shrouded in mere mystery and intrigue. Despite the fear Jason normally inflicts in others, you bravely approach him. Your innocent curiosity overrides any sense of any fear or anxiousness you feel. 

You would bombard Jason with questions, eager to learn more about his life and experiences. You ask about the mask, his immense strength, and the stories surrounding Crystal Lake. You would express your desire to be like Jason when you grow up, marveling at his formidable strength and resilience. Jason represents the power and invincibility that you hope to possess one day. 

Jason is taken aback by your desire to be like him. Despite his inability to communicate verbally, he silently contemplates the implications of your words, grappling with the notion that someone sees him as a role model.  

Sensing the innocence behind your words, Jason subtly imparts a lesson on morality. Through his actions, he’ll demonstrate that violence and vengeance are not paths that should be emulated, even if you idolize his strength and resilience.  

Before you depart from Jason, he offers you a small gift – a symbol of protection and guidance. He’d give you a teddy bear given to him by his mother when he was just a child like you, imbedded with his silent promise to watch over you from the shadows, guiding them down a path free from the darkness that consumes him.

Bubba Sawyer

You approach Bubba with wide-eyed innocence, unaware of the horror surrounding the infamous killer. To you, Bubba is akin to a hero from a storybook or comic, but looks much scarier. 

Bubba is confused when he sees the genuine admiration in your eyes. He’s hesitant as he is not used to such innocent expressions directed towards him. Normally, it’s always fear and horror he sees in someone’s eyes when they spot him. Bubba will make confused squealing noises as he tilts his head slightly, studying you while his chainsaw is held loosely at his side.  

Bubba would reach out to you tentatively, patting your head gently. His rough hands, stained with blood and grime from his gruesome work, offers a stark contrast to the tenderness of the gesture. Bubba’s emotions churn as he feels a sense of protectiveness towards you. You’re just so god damn cute that he can’t resist! He wants to shield you from the harsh realities of his existence. Yet, he knows all too well of how pointless it is to give into the aspirations of protecting you. 

Not wanting to harm you, Bubba squeals and gestures to his chainsaw to convey to you a warning. He really doesn’t want to turn you into meat. If he gets caught not trying to kill you, his brothers, especially Drayton, will force him to and he’d be very sad. There’s a sadness in his eyes, a silent acknowledgement of the innocence he can never reclaim. 

Before you escape the Sawyer property, Bubba will offer you his bracelet made out of bones that he always wears – a token of his affection. He’ll then give you a gruff nod of acknowledgement and lumbar away as if nothing happened as you live another day.

[milaisreading]

Hello! Can you please make some scenario rhat CD!yn was trapped with world 5 for 1 week? 🥺🥺

By the way, i really love your writing. That's make my day full of brightness🥰🥰

Have a great day! And happy new year😘

🌱🩷: Happy New Year, anon! Wish u all the best in 2024 and thank u for the request! Hope u enjoy it🫶🏻

Warnings: Reader uses she/her, but since she is crossdressing people use he/him when speaking to/abt her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

Spirited away (mentioned)- belongs to Ghibli Studio

Hello Kitty, My Sweet Piano (mentioned)- being to Sanrio company

"Why me?! I already have to take care of the Blue Lock team! How do you expect me to take care of 4 grown men and a prodigy?!" (Y/n) yelled in exasperation at Ego, who shrugged his shoulders.

"They wanted you to be their guide around Tokyo."

"Can't Rin or someone else do it? I really want to relax a little."

"Nope."

'I hate my life...' (Y/n) sighed to herself, already regretting waking up this morning.

It took (Y/n) an hour to pack her things for the week, and an additional 2 hours till the team let her actually leave. It took 30 minutes alone to stop Bachira, Chigiri, Kurona from crawling into her luggage. But, alas, it was over and (Y/n) was finally at the hotel where the pros were staying. She mentally prepared herself from all the ruckus they might cause, and for the experience of sharing a room with Loki.

'It can't be that bad... At least they are somewhat more mature than my team... And, I can finally use this time to convince Cavasoz-san to get me Messi's autograph. I still can't believe a teammate of his is so close by.' (Y/n) nodded to herself in determination as she walked to her and Loki's room. Not thinking much about knocking at the moment, (Y/n) opened the door to find the French player fast asleep on the bed.

'Must be exhausted from the practices.' (Y/n) silently chuckled and, as quietly as possible walked to the free bed and put her stuff away.

'Hmm. I will just let him sleep and go get some food. There is a convenience store nearby.' She nodded to herself and quickly walked out of the room.

"Ah, (Y/n). You are finally here! Where are we going first?"

Her soul nearly left her body as she heard Luna's voice from behind her.

"Luna-san, I thought you were asleep as well." (Y/n) said as she quickly turned around to look at the Spaniard, who raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"As well?"

"Loki-san is asleep." She answered the question while pointing at the closed room. Luna's confusion morphed into an amused one.

"Well, he did look exhausted during our ride here, not surprised he fell asleep. Where are you going, anyway."

"I am hungry and wanted to go to a convenience store. Uhm, want to come with me?" (Y/n) asked awkwardly. Luns thought for a moment and nodded his head.

"Sure, I always wanted to see one here. You better give me some recommendations what to buy." Luna said as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards the main floor.

"Will do, Luna-san." (Y/n) agreed, startled by his actions.

"I would recommend that onigiri, and... maybe the chocolate milk over there." (Y/n) said as she pointed at the items in the stores fridge. As Luna went for them, the girl sighed and went to get some snacks and drinks.

'This feels like I am babysitting someone...' She thoughts while looking through the snacks. There were so many options.

'Maybe the shrimp chips? Hmm, I could get those for Loki-san, he did tell me once that he wanted to try them. What to get myself then?-'

"Excuse me, can we take a picture with you?" The girl jumped in surprise and turned to look at a small group of high schoolers, looking back at her in surprise and delight.

"We watched you on Blue Lock TV. We are huge fans."

"Can I get an autograph as well?"

"Are those your favorite chips?"

(Y/n) felt cold sweat wash over her for as she remembered a fatal mistake she made.

'I forgot my mask!!!'

"Uh... ehm... sure. One after the other-"

"Sorry, kids, but we need to get to practice." Luna's voice was suddenly heard and the blonde pulled (Y/n) behind him.

'A hero I didn't know I needed.' She sighed in relief as Luna politely told the group off and dragged her away from the spot.

"Thank you, Luna-san." (Y/n) let our a breath she didn't know she was holding in as the blonde chuckled at the reaction.

"Nothing worth mentioning, I am aware how overwhelming it can be. You don't like this attention?" The blonde raised an eyebrow as (Y/n) nodded her head, looking through the drinks to distract herself a little.

"Yeah... it's not really something I like."

"Well, we will work on that side of you once we get you to Spain."

"Spain?" She asked, looking away from the drinks and back to Luna.

"Of course. You know that Re Al has put the highest biding deal for you compared to other clubs." Luna said matter of factly, which was true, too.

"Ahh... yeah! Now I remember!" She laughed nervously as the Spaniard ruffled her hair.

"For someone with the skills you showed me, you are quite an airhead when it comes to things outside of football."

The next day was quite hectic, but not as much as (Y/n) was used to it. Aside from a rushed breakfast thanks to Pablo, she couldn't complain much. Now the group was in the part of Shibuya Pablo mostly insisted on visiting, Harajuku. And the girl could understand why, since it was a busy and entertaining place. To a lot of Japanese people this was an interesting spot, so she can only imagine how it was for outside people. The only issue right now was that Pablo and Adam weren't seeing eye to eye om where to visit.

"I said we are going to Kiddy land." Pablo glared at the Brit.

"And I said we are going to the Yoyogi park." Adam said back as Luna and Silva tried to stop them from arguing, thankfully nobody from the passerby cared enough to pay them any attention.

'Hmmm... Kiddy land isn't far away from where we are. We can go there, visit Yoyogi after and get something to eat. There are many restaurants around here.' (Y/n) thought as she scrolled through her phone while Loki glanced at her.

"Did you find something?" The French boy raised an eyebrow as he looked through the phone a little.

"Yeah. I think I may have figured out a way so they both can be happy." She said back, fixing up her mask a little.

"And that would be?"

"We can go to both places." She answered simply, looking back at the four.

"We can go to Kiddy land first."

"Hmm?" The 4 looked back at her.

"Kiddy land isn't crowded right now, based on the reviews at least. We can look through the store a little and then go to Yoyogi park. I don't see why we have to limit ourselves on one activity."

Pablo smirked at Adam for a moment and then walked back to (Y/n).

"Alright then, tour guide. Show us the way." Pablo said as he pulled him along.

"It's the other way."

"I knew that. Just wanted to test you." Luna and Adam sweatdropped at the Argentinian player as Loki laughed and followed after them.

"I some times find it hard to believe that Pablo isn't a kid." Silva laughed as the other two nodded in agreement.

'Hmmm there are some cute Sweet piano plushies... but they are all so big. I need a small one.' She looked through the shelves as Pablo walked up to her.

"What does this mean?" The girl turned to look at the multi-colored player and then at the item he was holding. Taking the item, she read through the words written on it.

"It's a color changing mug. You put in warm or hot water and the scenery on it changes." (Y/n) explained as she handed the guy the box back.

"Thanks." Pablo nodded back as he inspected the box. (Y/n) ended up finding Hello Kitty and Sweet Piano keychains, and ended up picking them to buy.

'I can give the Hello kitty one to Isagi.' She thought, then looked back at Pablo.

"Is everything ok? Want me to help you find a new mug?" (Y/n) wondered.

'Maybe he doesn't like Spirited away merch?'

"No, I like this mug, but is it too childish?" The Argentinian's question caught the girl of guard, not taking him as a insecure person.

"I don't think so? You like what you like, nor are you hurting anyone by buying it. Besides, a lot of adults like Spirited away." (Y/n) argued as Pablo pouted a little.

"But, don't you think Silva and Adam will make fun of me?" The girl blinked a few times at the Argentinian's question.

"Even if they do, it's on them. I don't see why you shouldn't buy it. And besides, I think they aren't really the ones who will tell you anything on that matter."

Pablo was quite surprised by her answer, as most people would discourage him from buying anything like this. Saying he was either too childish or too old for stuff like this.

"What makes you think they won't make fun of me?" Pablo wondered as (Y/n) pointed behind him.

"They are quite busy looking through the toys." She chuckled as the Argentinian turned to look at the duo, who really were invested in picking and looking through the Sanrio merch. Pablo unconsciously nodded his head, feeling a weight being pulled off of him and looked back at (Y/n).

"Can you help me pick some small trinkets? A translator would help."

"Sure!" She said back as Pablo excitedly pulled her to a different isle.

Next day was a little easier to navigate, thanks to Adam being the one to pick the spot they were supposed to visit, and he was a lot more patient with them. The destination the Brit had picked surprised (Y/n) a lot, since she expected him to pick some Japanese bar or restaurant to visit.

'A shrine would have been my last guess.' The girl yawned as they finally finished climbing up the stairs.

"I didn't take you for the guy to want to see religious spots." Silva finally spoke up.

'At least someone said it.' She thought.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Adam raised an eyebrow at the Brazilian player causing Luna to intervene.

"It's just that you don't seem like the type of guy to be attracted to these places. Especially with some of the comments you make at times." Luna and Pablo laughed silently as (Y/n) kept her mouth shut for the most part.

'He is still my senior. I need to be mindful of that.' She thought.

"Shocker that I can be civilized then." Adam rolled his eyes and then pointed at (Y/n).

"Can't you guys be a little bit more mindful like (Y/n)? He is so much younger and yet more mature." Adam said as Loki quickly chimed in.

"I am younger than him, soo..."

"Can we not argue here? It is a holy spot, after all." (Y/n) quickly spoke as she saw people walk up the stairs.

"You picked a great spot, Blake-san. This Inari shrine is really spacious and accommodating to non-Japanese speakers." (Y/n) informed them. Adam looked back at the group and walked over to where (Y/n) was, ruffling her hair.

'What is it with people touching my hair?' She wondered as Adam spoke up again.

"You heard him. Let's go now." The Brit said as he followed after (Y/n), the rest of the group continued to silently tease Adam.

As the rest of the group was either busy looking around the shrine or looking for the lucky charms they saw on TV, Adam stayed behind to look at the prayer spot.

'How do you do this?' The Brit hummed.

"Do you have some troubles, Blake-san?" (Y/n) asked, noticing the Brit's distressed state.

"Nothing much, kid. I just can't remember how you properly pray here. I swear I watched it once."

"Oh! I can show you." (Y/n) offered as Adam blinked at her a few times.

"Really?"

"Mhm!"

"Alright then, kid. Show it to me." He said as the girl went through her wallet.

"You will need a 5 yen coin for this one." She said as she fished the said item out.

"So, first you take this rope and ring the bell." (Y/n) said as she rung it.

"Then you take the 5 yen coin and throw it into the box. Then bow twice, after which you clap twice." She continued to demonstrate it as Adam silently watched her.

"Then you pray. Keep your hands in the prayer position"

After about a minute of silence (Y/n) bowed one more times and moved away.

"And that's it. After you finish the prayer, you just need to bow once and you are done. Do I need to repeat it?" (Y/n) asked in concern, worried that she was too fast with the explanation.

"It's ok. Thank you, kid. You are a good one." Adam chuckled as he patted her on the back.

'Another pro-player praised me?!' (Y/n) thought in disbelief as she thanked him.

Om their final day of touring, Silva picked the most visited spot in Tokyo to visit, which was none other than Ginza. The place of the most luxurious malls, restaurants, bars, and many more things. Now, this was a spot (Y/n) was all too familiar with because her parents would drag her here because of business dinners. She shuddered a little at those memories, remembering all the times her parents would berate her to not act like a girl before the dinner.

'Assholes.' She thought as Silva suddenly patted her on the back.

"Now, kiddo. Since you are the translator and guide here, where should we go first?" The Brazilian questioned as (Y/n) thought for a moment.

"There is a mall nearby, I heard it has some good quality clothes and other things. Maybe that?" She suggested.

"To the mall it is, then. Afterwards we will eat something. I heard there is a nice place that has traditional food." Luna added in.

"I wonder if they have mangas in English around." Pablo off-handedly commented as (Y/n) lead them through the crowd.

And sure enough, they ended up in a clothing store at one of Ginza's most expensive malls. And while the rest were looking at the different clothes without bothering with the prize tags too much, (Y/n) couldn't help but be shocked at how expensive the stuff actually was. Prior to Blue Lock she didn't bat an eye much on the things, having grown up rich and around rich people for the most part. But, after getting to know a lot of her new friends, and hearing about their lives, she did take a much better look at her own life and the standards she grew up on.

'30K yen on a jacket is quite insane.' She hummed, leaving the item to look at something else.

"Hmm? You think this one would look good?"

"Yeah sure. Just hurry up." The girl froze in her spot as she heard two familiar voices nearby.

'Aren't those my brothers?' She gulped and peeked to look at the spot the voices came from, and sure enough, they were there.

'I will not be tormented today. No way.' She paled a little and slowly started backing away, which caused her to accidentally bump into someone and fall to the ground.

"I-I am so sorry, sir." (Y/n) looked up as she apologized to the man, who was anything but pleased.

"Can you kids not look properly? Do they let anyone inside now?" He spoke harshly, trying to grab her, but was stopped by someone.

"The kid said he was sorry, now move along." Silva said in a cold tone, grabbing the older man's hand before he could move any further. The man was a little intimidated by Silva's height and quickly walked away.

"You alright there, kiddo?" The Brazilian asked as (Y/n) nodded her head, quickly getting up from the ground.

"I-I am fine. Just a little startled." She chuckled nervously as Silva nodded his head.

"Just watch where you are going. There are a lot of weird people around." The man said, pushing (Y/n) in front of him.

"Let's go to where the rest is. They mostly finished buying things."

"Sure!" She agreed, relieved her brother's didn't see her.

"Thanks again for the help."

"Nothing worthy of mentioning." Silva shook his head.

The last day the group spent inside the hotel, either resting or some going to the convenience stores nearby. Loki didn't have many wishes, saying he only wanted to relax for a bit before going back to the facility. (Y/n) chuckled a little as she returned from the store, remember Loki's horrified expression when he mentioned going back.

"What's so funny?" Loki asked in his usual calm voice as he laid down on his bed.

"Ahhh nothing, just remembered something funny." She said nonchalantly, putting a bag on Loki's bed. This caused the boy to look at it in confusion for a moment, and then back at her.

"What's this?"

"Some snacks I found. Thought you might want to try them." (Y/n) explained, rummaging through her own bag in the process.

"Oh! Thanks, how much was it?"

"Nothing much, don't worry about it." She said, finally picking the pocky sticks she bought.

"Are you ready to return to our teams tomorrow?" She questioned as Loki shuddered a little.

"I guess? I just hope Charles kept everything under control while I was gone." (Y/n) felt sympathy for the coach and offered him a smile.

"If anyone from the Blue Lock players caused trouble, just tell me. I have a way to deal with them." She said as Loki nodded his head.

"I will take you up on that offer. Thank you."

The next day (Y/n) was back at the German stratum, already done with Kaiser and Ness' constant questioning on what he did with the World five.

"None of your business, you two." She rolled her eyes as she unpacked her things, putting the keychain for Isagi to the side.

"What's that?" Ness raised an eyebrow as he pointed at the item.

"It's a Hello kitty keychain. I got it for Isagi at a store." She said absent-mindedly, not noticing the way it grew quiet for a moment.

"What the hell?! Why did you get him that?!"

"And where is my present?!"

"Why would I get you two anything?!" She yelled back at Ness and Kaiser, baffled by their questions.

'I wish I stayed away for longer...'

[morganas-pendragons]

All That Time We Were Silent | Aemond Targaryen

This idea will not leave me alone. Violet Hill by Coldplay remains one of my favorite songs and I loved writing this concept for my first Aemond fic. Not to mention that every single Paris Paloma song is House of the Dragon coded. I don’t know. It makes me want to write a series for this pair (particularly one where SPOILERS SPOILERS Aemond dies at The God's Eye and it's this reader who kills him instead of Daemon -> put to The Fruits by Paris Paloma, because I have no self control and will use the same song and multiple different lyrics as titles)

The reader in this is female, and she's about two years older than Aemond. Also Rhaenys and Corlys' youngest daughter.

Anyway. This is set pre and post Rooks Rest with Velaryon!Reader, but it is Rhaenys’ daughter with Corlys because I can’t handle moms who lose all their children (ahem I’m looking at you Carol Peletier) 😭

***

"My sweet little dragon," Your mother caught your face in her hands, dark eyes staring down into your own as you stopped pacing in the halls of The Red Keep. It had only been mere hours since Alicent had delivered the news that your betrothal to Aemond was broken off. You were still so confused about why it had happened at all. Just mere days ago, you were gathering the courage to actually confess to Aemond how you felt. "Do not let that fire go uncontained."

"Mother-"

Rhaenys shook her head. Of her three children, you had always had the most spirit: You were far more likely than Laena and Laenor both to get yourself into trouble. You were the fire she believed would never stop burning.

"Listen to me. You are blood of the dragon, salt of the sea. You are a perfect split of myself and your father." Rhaenys hummed as she pulled you into her side, fingers gently winding through your hair as you hid your face in her shoulder. It was easy to forget that you were barely ten and eight. You also fiercely loved your parents. They were all you had left.

"I loved him, and she took him! What was wrong with me? What did I do?"

"I know. You did nothing. It is all the crown who pushes this upon you." Rhaenys knew better. She knew exactly why Alicent had taken it upon herself to split your betrothal to Aemond. You were getting too close. She couldn't have that happen to her precious son. "Above all, remember this. Fire can consume. That's what its purpose is. Please, sweetheart, do not let it take away those precious parts of you that the Hightowers have tried so hard to steal."

You often thought about how hard your mother tried to maintain your innocence after your brother and sister died. How your mother and father had trained you up as both salt and sea, fire and blood, determined that they would not lose another child while being involved with Rhaenyra's ascension.

Your mother had tried so hard to temper that anger down. It had worked, for a while.

Then Rook's Rest happened.

***

You found yourself positioned between Corlys and Rhaenys as Jace continued in his questioning of his mother after her sudden departure. Rhaenyra's explanation is as sound as she can make it - attempting for peace before plunging the realm into war - and you cannot find fault in her for going to see Alicent. The pursuance of peace is far more important then a war between dragons.

You dare not think about the end. How many dragons would be left?

How many people at this table would still be breathing?

"Cole's victories have only emboldened him." Rhaenys remarked. "He marches on Rook's Rest."

"Why Rook's Rest?" Rhaenyra questioned. "After Duskendale? It's but a small coastal keep."

You're not paying much attention to the remarks of old men spread across the table. You're not a strategist, not by any means, but you are itching for the opportunity to meet Aemond in the field. You have the second largest claimed dragon besides your mother, and you have the most experience in flight. You are a dragon rider.

You are capable of this.

More than anything, you want to make him pay for what he did to you. For how he hurt you. You want him to remember the pain you endured and the way he'd abandoned you. Left alone to face the phantoms remaining inside a little cliffside house by the sea. You'd visited it far more times then you cared to admit after your betrothal had been broken off.

You want to turn his silence - which has spread across the years, as the Prince has not attempted to send ravens since just before Viserys died - into begging, into screams that echo across a scorched battlefield as you plunge your sword into his heart.

It's the least of what he deserves.

"Send me." Jacerys interjected. Your heart sank as you watched the Prince's attempts at negotiating with his mother, eager to serve and eager to fight.

Rhaenyra would never let the loss of another son stand.

"No." Rhaenyra snapped.

"I will burn Coles lines and withdraw before King's Landing can raise the alarm-"

"You lack the experience."

You cleared your throat and stepped out of your space between your mother and father. "I will go," You said firmly. "I have the second largest dragon here besides Meleys and have experience. Nightshade was actively in battle prior to me claiming her. I also am able to evade Vhagar and Aemond. It could be a potential opportunity to take Aemond out of the-"

"No." Rhaenys' voice is clear and sharp as she stepped into your space, firm hand resting on your shoulder as your father nodded his confirmation of your mother's statement. "You must send me, Your Grace. Meleys is your largest dragon and no stranger to battle. I will meet Cole."

Both Corlys and yourself watched Rhaenys meet Rhaenyra's eyes before she released you from her grasp and began her pace toward the Dragon Mont. You could tell Rhaenyra did not want her Hand to depart.

You did not wish your mother to go either. Not with such threat of death looming over her.

"Mother!"

Rhaenys turned to gaze at you over her shoulder. Donned in her ceremonial armor and crown, The Queen Who Never Was softened at the sight of her daughter as you stormed into the Dragon Mont. Meleys whined at the sight of you. She could always acutely feel her rider's fierce devotion to her children. "Do not argue with this," Rhaenys said. "I will not let you meet your end in battle when you are the future of our House. Stay here, defend Rhaenyra, attend to your duty as a Targaryen. Do you understand me?"

"But Aemond-" You interjected, pausing as she reached underneath her shoulders and unfastened her cloak, tightening it around you until the dragon clasped just beneath her neck. You shuddered and leaned forward to rest your head on her shoulder. You would've been lying if you said you weren't terrified. "Please, Mother. Please come back."

Rhaenys smiled and tilted your head forward to press a kiss upon the crown, tightening her cloak around your shoulders before turning to Meleys. "We're off to battle again, old girl." She whispered. Identical eyes met your own before she grabbed the side of her saddle. "My littlest dragon..."

It was only then she remembered how young you were. How alone you were.

"Mother?"

"Avy jorrāelan, my Princess."

Tears burned your eyes as Meleys roared and took off through the mouth of the Mont.

You never saw her again.

***

Rhaenys turned her back to gaze upon Vhagar as Sunfyre descended and fell into the woods. It would've been the perfect opportunity to turn back. To retrieve you from Dragonstone, to have two of Rhaenyra's largest dragons take flight against Vhagar would nearly guarantee a victory for the Black Queen.

She did not do either.

The Queen Who Never Was ordered her dragon to attack, tied herself into her saddle, and took off through the smoke that had settled over Rook's Rest.

She dare not dwell upon her own memories of this dragon she was about to face. About Laena claiming Vhagar, about your first ride upon both Vhagar and Meleys, about your own claiming of Nightshade... of Laenor and Laena.

The nights she'd spent upon the window waiting for Corlys to come home, all three of her children with her.

She dare not dream of home.

***

"Do you ever wish it for us?"

"Wish what?" You asked, twirling your fingers through the ends of Aemond's hair where his head rested upon your chest. "All I wish for us is to take our dragons to the ends of the earth and spend the rest of my life indulging in the finest chocolates and wine with the man I love. That is what I wish."

Aemond snorted and curled himself deeper into your side. "To be able to properly express our love. I don't think my mother will ever let it happen. This. Us. She won't let it continue. Not with the threat of Rhaenyra sitting the Iron Throne-"

"I don't want to think about Rhaenyra, Aemond." You murmured. "I want to think about you and me. That's a far happier memory then to dwell upon all the times The Stranger has descended upon my family. I will not let the Gods take what we have from me too."

Aemond tried not to think of you when Vhagar descended upon Meleys, teeth clamped firmly into her neck while the other dragon roared.

He tried not to think of all the times he'd seen you with this dragon himself, with Vhagar, all the times he'd had those precious words on the tip of his tongue when he watched your joy in the face of such terrifying beasts.

If you love me.. won't you let me know?

Aemond could not risk it. Admitting to his growing feelings, his growing adoration, gave his mother another weapon to use against him. You were far too good of a thing in his life for Aemond to be okay with Alicent weaponizing that.

That had been why she'd broken off the betrothal. It wasn't her idea.

It was his.

If you love me, why'd you let me go?

He tried not to think of you as the world was enveloped in fire, and he tried not to think of you as he watched the Red Queen descend into the castle at Rook's Rest. She did not get back up.

He was told The Queen Who Never Was died that very same day.

***

It was Baela who delivered the news to you.

"Auntie?"

You turned your head to acknowledge the Princess and smiled, beckoning her deeper into your chambers. "Enter, sweet girl." The peace that had fallen upon you in your time waiting for your mother to come home dissipated once you recognized the tears brimming in Baela's eyes. "What is it?"

You tightened your fingers in your mother's cloak as Baela broke the news. You expected to be much more upset. Devastated. What you felt instead was that same anger that your mother had spent years tempering in you begin creeping to the surface. You were most certainly not your father and mother's daughter.

Maybe that anger came from deeper in your family line. Maybe it was generational. Maybe all Targaryens harbored anger like this.

"She died a warrior." You murmured. You wanted to believe that. You did believe that. Your mother would have fought valiantly against whatever foe dare face her. "She died a true dragon rider. We can only wish the same for ourselves."

"What is to be done now?" Baela asked.

Your thoughts automatically went to your father. Your father, waiting for a wife who would never come home. Your father residing upon the Driftwood Throne in a castle that would resemble a tomb, for none of its occupants remained. They were all dead. All that remained of them was their memory.

"I need to go home. To see your grandsire," You said quietly. "The loss of my mother will devastate us both-"

"Has it not already?"

You had to consider her question thoroughly before being able to answer it. When your brother and sister had died, it had taken you a significantly longer period of time than your mother and father to adjust. To be able to properly allow yourself to grieve. How was there time for the luxury of grief when the obligation of being the Heir to the Driftwood Throne was being pressed down upon you?

"Not yet. My anger will get the better of me first." You sighed and squeezed the girl's shoulders before releasing her. "And then the grief will surely follow."

***

Rhaenyra called you into the room with the Painted Table some hours later. You were not ready to hear her. Just as you'd said, Baela watched Rhaenyra attempt to offer consolation and comfort in the face of your mother's loss.

This was, in your words, three people that Rhaenyra Targaryen had taken from you. You would not allow your father to be the next.

"Princess-"

"No!" You yelled. All the voices in the room died as Rhaenyra's head snapped upward, blue eyes meeting your own from across the painted table as you stormed forward. "I refuse participate in a war like this one. I don't care if your legitimacy has been contested. My mother was the only reason I allowed for myself and Nightshade to take part. I will not risk the future of my House or my dragon for the sake of the Iron Throne."

You knew you were being irrational. It was easier to be irrational and angry for the loss of your mother and direct it at Rhaenyra then come to your second most devastating realization: Despite how much you still loved Aemond, you were going to have to be the one to kill him. You were going to have to be the one to kill him because he was the one who took your mother from you.

Right now, you had one goal in mind. One that you fully intended to see it through.

"Princess, where are you going?"

"Home. I'm going back to Driftmark to deliver news to my Lord father of the passing of my mother. It needs to be me."

"And if the Queen has need of you?"

You flippantly waved your hand over your shoulder. "Don't! The only time you need to have me involved, Your Grace, is when you need someone who can successfully face Aemond and Vhagar. When that happens, I want to be the one to end it." You turned back around in the hallway to stare at the Black Queen's Council, your nieces and nephews, the Queen Who Had Yet To Be. "He killed my mother. I want retribution for that act."

You'd rather she be the Queen Who Never Was. If anyone deserved the right of being Queen, it was Rhaenys.

"When it's time to kill Aemond, it should be me. Call upon me then. Until that point comes? You are on your own."

[authors note: I'm seriously considering adding a second part just for the fact that I have GOT to write Seasmoke claiming Addam LOL]

[emblemxeno]

I feel like I live on a completely different world than a lot of Fire Emblem fans. My favorite game is Engage, with Fates being a pretty close second. And Three Houses is easily my least favorite (I’d even go as far to say I outright don’t like the game anymore).

I think what really turned me off from Three Houses was that it had no clue what it wanted to be.

Does it want to be a social sim with engaging combat, like Persona? Because it failed at that. The social sim aspect is simultaneously tedious and easily skippable, that I wonder why they even bothered. And the gameplay is not engaging in the slightest because the maps are boring and never demand anything of the player, and this game is the worst offender of the “just make everyone one class” effect.

Does it want to be a deep, “morally grey” story with multiple points of view where nobody is truly in the wrong? Then the Slithers existing is a rebuke to that idea. They are in every meaning of the word, evil.

Does it want to have a fun route where you play as the villains who know they’re doing wrong, but they do it anyway because that’s where their belief is? Then that’s also not done well at all, since in CF they all cry and whinge about how hard it is to be fighting a war that they started!

Sorry for the rant, but it truly baffles me whenever I see takes on Reddit or wherever that people think Fire Emblem should take more inspiration from Three Houses. I think that’d legitimately kill the series for me if they decided to do that.

Mmmm, I agree with pretty much all you're saying.

While they never outright admitted that they had a problem with content bloat, the devs and writers said they kept adding stuff to the game until it "had its own soul/life" at some point. Which to some-or many, considering how many people love the game-is admirable and worthy of praise.

Me? I think it's the video game equivalent of identity crisis combined with the dreadful modern game design ideology of "everything needs to be BIGGER."

In trying to explain every detail and every perspective, 3H ends up not saying anything definitive by itself. Things only start to barely make sense when you read the writer interviews, but then you start wondering why the absurd amount of chaff (cheap dialogue) couldn't be cut.

And when it came to making everything in the game design aspect BIGGER, it just ended up being "why don't we take all the familiar mechanics and make them take longer to fulfill." The 5+ experience bars for determining levels or class abilities or weapon proficiency or class mastery or blah blah blah. When in previous entries, all you had to do was level up and use seals to reclass, bada boom. Couple that with the simulation aspect being doubled down on with Loading Screen Monastery, multiple activities which get old fast but can't be skipped unless you want to risk gimping yourself, and the hundreds of button presses to do things that were so, so quick to do in the past... Like, even if I were to give in to what most people say and concede that 3H is a beacon of modern FE storytelling, who the hell cares when the game is such a slog to play? At a certain point, the only major enjoyment anymore for me is doing funny/cool builds like Grappler Flayn or Trickster Ignatz.

I feel you on that last part, if the next FE game is basically 3H The Squeakquel, I'm gonna be real sour :///

[h50europe]

Happy hamster wheeling with Uncle Buck...

I had to empty my brain after catching up with 9-1-1 Lone Star season 5. So bear with me, or scroll past it. Thanks. xoxo

9-1-1 LA—It can be incredibly frustrating when a series loses its initial magic and starts to become formulaic or predictable. Character-driven stories often resonate more because they delve deeper into the characters' emotional and psychological aspects, making their journeys more relatable and compelling.

The depth of character development in 9-1-1: Lone Star comes across better and makes the narrative richer and more engaging. It's a shame when another series, presumably from the same creative team, doesn't have the same quality and emotional depth.

On the other hand, 9-1-1 LA has shifted focus, which is disappointing as beloved characters and their stories are sidelined. An overemphasis on a metaplot and less engaging characters like Brad detract from the overall experience. Finding the right point where the action doesn't overshadow the character-driven story but enhances it was not on TMs bingo card so far.

The OS writers should take note of the feedback from GA and fans alike and bring the series back to its roots. The intricate details of the characters and their evolving relationships often leave a lasting impression, even in the chaos of an emergency. Season 8A was a dumpster fire in more ways than one.

What's with the romantic element that was so prominent in all the post-Season 7 interviews about Buck and Tommy's relationship?

Well, that part of Oliver's interview for Gay Times hasn't aged well.

It ended traumatic, or am I wrong? Tommy's traumatized, though it was never addressed why. What happened to him that he pulled the plug (pun intended) on their relationship? And yes, he threw all the biphobic tropes at Buck he could muster.

At this point, I'm mourning the loss of Lone Star and Tarlos. While I would be okay with 9-1-1 OS being canceled. I'm sure I am not the only one feeling betrayed. It's not just Buck back hamster wheeling. We all are.

As the plots become repetitive and foreseeable, there are two possible scenarios for Maddy's kidnapping: 1) she is saved, and the baby is okay. 2) She's saved but loses the baby. Pick a base. Plus, given the preview, the serial looks like a woman (if the hair we see isn't a wig).

If you already know that TM isn't going to off one of his mains, where is the thrill? Instead he is busy axing everyone else whose name isn't Brad. I am still determining what I should look forward to... Maybe I will be enlightened. Anyway, thanks for coming to my pep talk.

On a side note, wouldn't it be great if they would at least release the cute scene in the car Lou mentioned in one of his recent interviews?

Or they could recycle it in an upcoming episode as a flashback or a dream sequence for Buck. Who knows... Recycling has been one of their favorite things lately. If there was an award for it, they would be runners-up!

[luminologism]

Sky Cotl Skytober 2024: A retrospective by ME!

All of my skytober pieces in chronological order! -> here The song I set it too! -> here

This year, I participated in an Inktober adjacent drawing event. I did the Sky Cotl version of Inktober, Skytober. Now that it's November 1st, I have thoughts and feelings about the experience, what I learned, what I did right, and what I can improve on! This post is very much for me to reconcile and reflect on the art I did this month, but please feel read and enjoy my raw thoughts as well. I feel like everybody can learn from or relate to what I'm gonna chatter on about below, so take a read if you're so inclined! I'll be touching on relatability, popularity vs niche, effort vs efficiency, and passion vs honing skill.

WHY I DID SKYTOBER

So, as I said above, I participated in Skytober! It's my first Inktober adjacent event EVER! I've done similar projects in the past related to other arts (NaNoWriMo for example) but ultimately failed! Why? Well, I just didn't see that stuff through. I did not have a strong goal, and thus the past projects inevitably failed.

This year, however, I was DETERMINED to finish this project! This is because I have been meaning to make my inevitable swap from Paint Tool Sai 2 to Clip Studio Paint for AGES. I've had this program since forever (and even had the old version Manga Studio as a kid!), but it was far too robust at the time for me to want to learn it. However, it's been sitting on my computer for ages, and I have a massive commission in the works currently! I felt many of CSP's tools would be useful for that commission, so I took a bit of a detour and decided that Skytober would help me sit down and actually spend time learning this damn program.

Needless to say, I think my attempts at learning at least a bit of the program was successful. I learned a lot of the basic functions and where I liked tools and functions placed, I learned how to fiddle with some interesting brushes, and I also spent a LOT of time learning how to (roughly) paint backgrounds! These are all skills I was desperately trying to learn anyways, so having some solid and strict direction very much helped. I still have a lot to learn program wise, but drawing (nearly) every day has definitely given me a solid foothold in this program. As a diehard SAI2 user, the jump is difficult! But I think I did alright.

MY CREATIVE MINDSET AND DIRECTION

Now, the art itself. There are favorites I have, and there are absolute duds as well. In my eyes, to be specific. Drawing (nearly) every day is bound to run you dry for some mental and creative resources, but I did a few things to help mitigate that and keep the train chugging. For a long time, I had been meaning to make a Sky Cotl animatic using the song Virtual Angel by ARTMS. That's a recent release from that music group, but it's been one of my favorites recently. I think it's a beautiful song, and with lyrics like 'for the sin of swallowing up the sun' and 'fly me to your eden, this is eden' and 'i'll be there for you when your wings break', I thought the song fit Sky Cotl's vibe perfectly. However, I know absolutely nothing about animatics, so I decided to repurpose the idea into assigning a lyric to each Skytober piece instead. This massively helped with direction of ideas. It wasn't perfect, but it still significantly helped. Another thing I did to keep myself inspired was I actually wrote out a significant number of my ideas beforehand. They were not super fleshed out at times, and often they changed if I got inspired in another way. And other times, I just completely gave up on any ideas and decided the goal was just to finish SOMETHING, if just to keep the ball rolling. Either way, at least planning some things ahead of time helped eliminate a majority of the 'idk what to draaaaw!' woes down. It also helped me stay efficient, and having the song as direct inspiration sort of kept stoking the fires of my passion and helped me keep going! Raaah! Even so, I still ended up with duds, and you can absolutely see that reflected in each pieces notes.

RECEPTION OF MY WORK

I've never had this much attention on my work before. I used to run a pretty popular twitter before restarting it (and then deleting that second one just recently due to twitter being twitter), but I've never surpassed 1000 notes on anything before. Please understand, while I know that's not really all that much, for me that is! It's like imagining 1000 people standing in the same room as me giving me a thumbs up on my silly picture. It was amazing!! I would look at my notes all day at the start of the month with a smile on my face. It was surreal seeing people's thoughts coming in in real time. Seeing everybody's thoughts and feelings and interpretations of my works was amazing and so interesting to see. There would be people simply screaming at my work with glee, giving me genuine and sincere compliments, giving me their interpretations of how my works made them feel, and so much more! The most jarring thing for me was seeing a few people tag their friends in my work. I would sit there like 'huh, this person liked this piece so much that they had to show their friend directly!'. And it made me smile.

I also got to see in real time how my efforts can directly correlate with the interactions I got. And that swung both ways. There are some pieces I posted that barely had eyes on them, and it wasn't because I did poorly. It was because I think people can very much see when something is low effort or if you post something without confidence. Meanwhile, there were some pieces I posted that I sort of just threw together, and people LOVED? My picture for the prompt 'Mural' went absolutely bonkers, and I don't even really think it's all that good! On that piece I was just testing out manga stone wall brushes and fussing with glowing layer modes. It's by far my most popular Skytober piece as of posting this retrospective though, so it's interesting to see!

Another thing I saw that was interesting and I picked up very quickly on was my own OC content sees less eyes! Not because my OCs are bad or anything, but strangers can't relate to it! Even if the art is baller, my OC content had less interest than my more vague pieces. The pieces where I posted random moths (the closer to base game look, the better) were the ones people liked the best! That, or if I posted in game characters.

OVERALL

All in all, it was a very enlightening experience! If I do another event like this again, I will not pigeonhole myself to the square little paint stamp vibe I had going on. That made it hard to branch out or many images look wider. I will also put less effort in. Funny that I word it like that, but I actually think I put TOO MUCH effort in on some pieces! That made my inspiration (and other pieces) suffer. I also think that while I enjoyed posting my works with song lyrics, I won't do that again. Or if I do, I'm choosing a shorter song. I might also combine prompt days next time.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.213 Nanny Luca

In the morning, as soon as I was dressed and ready for the day, I found Sophia and showered her with PG rated love and affection in case the kid was lurking nearby. It's our anniversary, and I couldn't be more happy with the life she's given me. Thinking about it, she is a key component in the story of my manhood. Like, she has been around for literally the entire thing, right in the front row. I couldn't have been more than a day or two into my young adult days when we met. Even though I was scared and kept her at a distance for about half that time, she was always there. Our marriage journey has been one challenge after another, but it has been the second most rewarding experience of my life.

Around lunch time, Yasmine, of all people, called me. She sounded a bit worn out and frustrated, asking if we minded if one of her girls came over to play with Desiree. Before I could ask which one, she said Stacey—the magical one—is really sick, and she wants to keep the girls separated for as long as possible. They're really close, as twins usually are. Savannah won't leave Stacey alone, which means she isn't getting any rest. I told her it was fine, but she could only stay for a few hours because we had plans that night. She said that would be perfect. When Savannah arrived, I called Desi downstairs and got them introduced, saying they met when they were really little, but I guess she thought I was doing too much because she interrupted me and asked Savannah if she wanted to play dolls. They ran upstairs and left me there, shaking my head. So this is it, huh? The beginnings of me not being cool anymore? Hmph.

As I said, it was lunch time, so I went to the kitchen to get started on some soup. When it was done, I called everyone to join me. I asked how Savannah liked school. Maybe she could tell Desi about it when they play so she can get the inside scoop when she goes on Monday. Sophia asked if her sister was okay, but her entire demeanor changed.

When Sophia asked what was wrong, Savannah said she thinks Yasmine likes Stacey better than her. I knew that song very well. Alessia wrote it, heh. She said Yasmine plays with her more and gives her whatever she wants. Having personal knowledge that parents can have favorites, but also being acquainted with their unique situation, I felt confident to speak to that.

"I don't think that's true," I said.

"Yes it is!"

"I know your mom. She loves both of you very much. Actually, she sent you over here because she doesn't want you to get sick, not because she wants to play with Stacey."

"Really?"

"Of course, really. She loves you very much."

I'm not sure if they remember each other, but after Savannah's mood improved, she and Desi fell into a natural rhythm and gabbed away just like they did when they met the first time. They're going to be fast friends, just like me and Dub. Speaking of, I hope they're all okay. I understand the devastation of losing a beloved pet.

We all got up from the table to go do whatever, and the dogs came rushing in to inspect Savannah and determine whether she was friend or foe.

"PUPPIIIIIIEEEEEES," she shouted.

They let her pet them, so I guess she's a friend, heh.

Desi went back upstairs without Savannah. I turned around for 30 seconds to clear the table. How 'bout this child found flour and chocolate and spread it all over my floor very enthusiastically.

See, this is the part I don't like about watching other folks' kids. You can't raise your voice or put them in timeout or anything when they act up. I didn't yell, but I definitely expressed my displeasure with her behavior. It was almost time for her to leave anyway, so I told her to find Desi and say goodbye while I mopped her mess.

When we arrived in Oasis Springs, Stacy ran out of the house and pummeled her twin with the most loving bear hug.

"SAVANNAH! You're back! I missed you!"

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah!"

Savannah began a very rapid recall of how much fun she had at our house. I'm glad we left a good impression. Yasmine pulled me aside to talk.

"I really appreciate you doing this. How did it go?"

"It was fine. She and Desi had a great time. She said something I think you should know about, but don't tell her I told you."

"Okaaay..."

"She thinks you like Stacey better than her. She said you spend more time with her."

"You know why-"

"I know that. You know that. She does not. I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your kids, but I just thought you should know that's how she feels."

She let out a huge sigh.

"Thanks. I try not to single her out, but...I just don't know how to handle our...our situation. I don't know how this magic works. If she gets upset, I don't know if something can pop off, so I just do whatever I can to keep her happy."

"Hey, you're preaching to the choir. I'm not judging. I'm just delivering a message. Oh, your kid made a mess on my floor."

"Ha! Sorry about that. But for real though, I'm glad she had a good time. I appreciate you, Luca. Maybe we can do it again sometime? Sounds like Desi and Savannah are destined to be friends. If that's true, that means I am destined to be in your life," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

"You better be glad I know you're joking."

"Mmm hmm. Say hi to Sophia for me."

[pilfappreciator]

Can you write about Veneer... Just, like, anything at all. I'm BEGGING. They could be headcanons, drabbles, oneshots, ANYTHING. My little gay mind can't handle it. If you don't have any ideas here are some that I have off the top of my head ^_^ (also if you could make any of these male reader I will love you forever BUT you obviously don't have to <33)

- Baking with him (but either veneer or the reader is a nightmare in the kitchen and everything goes wrong)

- Having a slumber party !! (Doing eachothers nails, hair, makeup, watching movies, just talking, possibly falling asleep in eachothers arms and being embarrassed in the morning)

- Playing hide and seek together

- CHRISTMAS WITH VENEER!!! (Decorating the house/Christmas tree, getting presents, playing out in the snow, just general festive activities:3)

- Reader who has a shit ton of stuffies and has named them all (introducing them to Veneer, cuddling, fluffy things)

- Eepy time (sleeping/cuddling hcs, shenanigans, not being able to fall asleep, weird midnight chats)

I had more but I forgot....

NAHHH UR LITERALLLY SO BASED I LOVE YOU FOR THAT!!! Veneer is literally such a criminal cuz like?? He kidnapped someone, tortured them, AND he stole your heart??? SOMEONE STOP HIM ASDKJALJSLD

Ended up combining a few of your ideas into one big concept! Hope you don't mind :3

Also heads up that this takes place before the events of Band Together took off! Just figured it'd be kinda hard to throw a sleepover when your ass is literally in prison lol

Veneer x Reader: when your favorite twink invites you to a sleepover

Includes: Male! Reader, sleepover shenanigans, fluff, slight angst, gaygaygaygay—

💎 You and Veneer would have to be INCREDIBLY close before he even considered invited you over

💎 Tbh I feel like getting invited to hangout with this guy in any way is actually? Kind of a privilage?? Like his fame is obviously a big factor in that but growing up, I doubt he had any actual friends who weren't his sister. I imagine him as kinda shy and non-confrontational as a kid, and though Velvet wasn't the BEST sibling, she never hesitated to cuss out whatever poor soul chose to pick on her brother. She's always been the one to lead and Veneer has always just followed

💎 I mean... the guy literally participated in tortue just cuz his sister told him to. He sheep coded as hell 😔

💎 So yeah, this boy probably has like zero experience when it comes to having friends who don't use him for his fame and/or are related to him by blood. Luckily you came along! Now he's actually got someone with whom he shares a genuine connection with!!

💎 Whether that connection is strictly platonic has... yet to be determined >;3c

💎 WITH THAT BEING SAID!! This guy has never once participated in a sleepover (hanging out in his sister's room doesn't count), and he's got absolutely no clue what to do ://

💎 Will conduct numerous amounts of research days in advance! And by research, I mean he's binging all his favorite chick flicks and having Krimp take notes aslkdhaljsdl

💎 FR THO!! THIS BOY IS JITTERY AS HELL WHEN THE TIME COMES TO ASK YOU OUT OVER LIKE---!

💎 "Oh heyyyy, (____)! Fancy seeing you here!"

"This... is my house?"

"R-right, right! Obviously! Um, anyway, do you like sleeping?"

"Uh."

"Also, u-uh, totally unrelated but have you ever wondered what the inside of my house looks like?"

💎 Pls just accept his invitation. If he gets any redder he might pop a blood vessel or something

💎 Heaves out the BIGGEST sigh once you say yes. He'll try to play himself off as nonchalant even though he's absolutely ecstatic, but like... the boy is literally vibrating with excitement okay, he's not fooling anyone lol

💎 Once the big day comes and you show up to his house— sorry, MANSION? Prepare yourself cuz he is most definitely giving a tour. From the indoor pool, to the outdoor pool, to the personal studio/production room, to the many walk-in closets, to a room that is literally just one big ball pit, to a heigh-ceiling hallway just lined with photos/painting of him and his sister... he is NOT afraid to show off asdkajsdlkhjf

💎 (Sidenote: don't worry about Velvet potentially intruding on the sleepover. She's agreed to step out for the day on her brother's behalf. Was definitely pretty pissy about having to vacate her own home but eventually relented... but Veneer definitely owes her for her kindness)

💎 Yknow all those cliche sleepover activities people do in movies? Yeah, you guys are doing literally all of them

💎 Such a dumbass <33

💎 NO LIKE ACTUALLY THO?? Krimp made Veneer a list of popular and totally optional things to do at a sleepover and the second he saw it, he was just like "uugh, seems like a lot of work but I GUESS I'll do it 🙄"

💎 You guys are painting your nails matching colors, doing facemasks, messing around with each others' hair— the whole shebang!! And considering this dude is rich as fuck, you just KNOW he's got nothing but all the top-of-the-line products 😤😤. Only the finest for him (and you <33)

💎 LET HIM DO YOUR MAKEUP!! I feel like he really enjoys it as a whole! Like it's probably his favorite part of getting ready for shows or just his day in general, and the only person he's done makeup for is Velvet (tho those instances were VERY rare)... but if you just? Suggest that he does yours for you?? Like just sitting back so he can do his thing, allowing him to call the shots like he rarely ever does???

💎 Literally swooning SO HARD ASLDHKALKJSJDLKJA

💎 Unfortunately the whole thing kinda backfires on him cuz: 1) you're already super cute without makeup, and 2) he knows what he's doing and could easily boost someone's looks with just some eyesliner and the right shade of lipstick

💎 He makes you look hotter, is basically what I'm getting at

💎 He's not sure if he's just done himself a huge favor or screwed himself over for the rest of the night

💎 Considering his crazy wealth and the fact he probably grew up pretty sheltered/spoiled, I doubt this boy knows anything about how a kitchen works lol. Like most of his meals were either made for him by Krimp or served at high-end hoity-toity restaurants with caviar that probably cost more than most organs sell on the black market ://

💎 So yeah, dinner is really gonna come down to you and your skill level

💎 If you know you're away around, CONGRATS!! You've just signed yourself up for cooking lessons with Veneer! And yes, the kitchen WILL end up a mess (but no worries, he'll just make Krimp clean it up). You'll definitely have to take the lead here and he's more than happy to let you do so! Just tell him what spices you need or what utensil to grab, and his ass is on it 🫡 If you wanna teach him how to knead dough or peel certain ingredients?? He won't complain (especially if said activity requires you two to be in close proximity hehe)

💎 Do NOT leave him alone in the kitchen for more than 10 seconds. You'll just return to find him trying to cut strawberries with the dull side of a knife u_u

💎 If you're also total shit in the kitchen?? No worries! Veneer may be living that high life but he's not above ordering takeout lol

💎 Remember those chick flicks I mentioned earlier? Yeah, you two are totally running a marathon of those. If you happen to have any good recs or other movies you happen to like?? He's totally willing to give them a try! Just know that if it's a scary movie… he's gonna be wrapped around you like a koala and screaming into your ear at every jumpscare

💎 He may be talentless but this boy can hit a high note if he feels he's in danger

💎 He may be different from his sister in some ways, but one attribute he shares with her is the fact that he's a TOTAL GOSSIP LIKE?? THIS BOY IS MORE THAN PREPARED TO SPILL THE TEA ON ANY GIVEN OCCASION—

💎 "Oh my gosh, did you HEAR about what happened to Nikki Mirage the other day??"

"No? Wait, who's that again?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO--- okay, sit down so I can educate you 😤"

💎 Him and Velvet literally thrive on drama, idk what else to tell you

💎 (he might also spill some tea about his sister... nothing too incriminating, but like, a few embarrassing childhood stories couldn't hurt, right?)

💎 Late night talks are a MUST!! At some point in the night the two of you end up like... nestled under the covers of whatever fort you guys threw together... you're facing each other, heads centimeters apart as you share a pillow... whispering and giggling for no real reason...

💎 Maybe he vents a little about his insecurities and the way Velvet treats him, less like a brother and more like a shadow she can manipulate as she pleases... and maybe you grab his hand under the blanket... yknow, just to comfort him or whatever...

💎 Veneer only ever gets physical affection when he visits his parents, and even then it's just like? The bare minimum?? Pats on the head/shoulder/back, brief hugs, chaste kisses on his cheek— that kinda crap. And it's so tragic cuz this boy is literally the biggest little spoon to ever spoon. Like actually pls just hold him

💎 If he wakes up the next morning to find you laying behind him? Arms wound around his middle?? You face burried against his neck/shoulder blades/top of his head????

💎 He is not moving from that spot even after you wake up too <33

Cannibal, I absolutely ADORE YOU FOR THIS ASK!! LITERALLY SO FUN TO WRITE SAKLJASADKJSD THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333 (was originally gonna split this into two parts but was like, "nah, this ask deserves to be hella long" uwu)

Veneer redemption arc when??

[chickengoat1]

I’ve noticed some people aren’t happy with the portrayal of Mr. House in the Fallout show.

I’ve been playing through New Vegas for the first time (so go easy on me) and am still learning all the lore. Right now I’m working for Mr. House—because the House always wins, duh—and based on the single scene in which he appears in the show, I think the portrayal is accurate so far. Besides, I don’t think we have enough anyways to say how accurate he is to the game.

The main complaint I’ve seen is that:

1. In the game, he says he predicted the nuclear war, but in the show, Barb straight up tells them how they’ll ensure the bombs drop

and

2. He wouldn’t have wanted in on all the vault stuff and experiments.

I agree with both of those and don’t understand why anyone has an issue with him being at that meeting. We know Mr. House had already made his prediction about the nuclear war and started his preparations to protect Vegas. That all happens way before the meeting.

The only thing that changes due to the show is that he now knows that Vault Tec will drop the bombs if no one else does. I think that is why he asked that question. Mr. House is a smart man. He heard all of them talking about making money and weird experiments and realized Vault Tec might actually sink low enough to be the ones to start the nuclear war. So he asks. And Barb confirms his suspicions.

He knew there would be a nuclear war. He knew it wasn’t just “hypothetical”. He already predicted the war (even having a date range in mind). What he wanted to know was how determined were they to “guarantee results”. He’s sitting there listening to them become giddy over brainstorming awful experiments rather than ideas to actually prevent nuclear war. Of course he would realize that Vault Tec might actually be the largest and closest threat right now.

Just look at that expression.

And why was he at that meeting?

Obviously, they would have invited him since he was the “nation's most infamously eccentric businessman” and had a net worth of at least 30 billion dollars. Why wouldn’t Vault Tec see if he wanted in on any of the fun.

Yet, Mr. House doesn’t engage in the conversation of the vaults other than to say containing people like that will make them destroy themselves. Even in the show you can tell he’s more interested in preserving life on the surface.

In conclusion, I’m happy with the portrayal so far. And I think the actor looks and sounds good as Mr. House. Let’s hope season 2 is just as good, if not better. I’m anxiously awaiting to see what they do with New Vegas and Mr. House.

Here’s to my favorite autocrat!

[librarycards]

Hello! Sorry if you’ve posted about this somewhere already/if it’s redundant, but I thought your coinage of “transMad” was very cool and I’m wondering what that term means to you? I’m really happy to see other people talking about madness being intertwined w their gender/transness and looking forward to checking out your reading lists :))

thank you so much for asking about one of my favorite things to infodump about!! rather than rehash a bunch of stuff, if it's okay, I'm going to borrow a few quotes from past!me that i've published in different places // offer you some things of mine to read.

broadly, though, i use transMadness as a way to explore the identificatory, epistemological, methodological, and theoretical implications of an orientation (to use Sara Ahmed's term) toward bodymind noncompliance and self/selves-determination. this orientation refuses to delineate diagnostically between Maddened / transed experiences of the world/our many worlds, and instead takes this shared/overlapping ground as a jumping off point for solidarity and speculation - that is, something that allows us to imagine otherwise worlds / make them manifest through creativity and collaboration.

(Ha, and I claimed i wouldn't talk too much...famous autistic last words)

ANYWAY. here are some clips that might help explain more dimensions of transMadness. note that, in my dissertation-in-progress, i'm focusing on xeno/neogender and/as self-diagnostic cultures among queercrip and transMad internet users. i'm interested in the anti-psych liberatory potential of this digital community work, especially as it centers forms of knowledge and scholarship devalued within Academia Proper, especially because so much of it is made by and for disabled, Mad, queer, trans people, esp. youth. Onward to quotes!

On transMad epistemologies: citation/power/knowledge:

I’ll spend most of this piece looking not at what transMad is, but what it does. First and foremost, transMad cites. Even its name alludes to other portmanteaus: neuroqueer and queercrip being the best-known among them. Many people have offered many different (ever-“working”!) definitions of these terms; today, I offer co-coiner Nick Walker’s (2021) definition of neuroqueer: a verb and an adjective “encompass[ing] the queering of neurocognitive norms as well as gender norms” (p. 196). In terms of queercrip, I also return to its coiner, Carrie Sandahl (2003), who for whom the queercrip (as person and as method/movement) confuses the diagnostic gaze, bears sociopolitical witness, and performs glitchful[4], incongruous, confusing in(ter)ventions into possible community. At base, “queer” and “crip” appear as analogous, reclaimed slurs signifying marginalized transgression. When combined, they describe a loop, perhaps a Möbius strip: crip (ani)mates queer, queer tells-on crip. The specter of crip haunts queer—and even more explicitly, as we will see, trans—and the crip(ped) bodymind holds, moves, and fucks queerly. Who knows where “queer” stops and “crip” and “neuro” begin? Likewise, transMad, whose citational style leaves little room for diagnostic clarity amidst a pastiche of noncompliant text.

On transMad epistemologies: multiplicity (h/t @materialisnt):

They encourage us to remove others’ names from our bodies, to reign in unruly citations, to set “boundaries” which violate Mad, crip ethics of care (see Fletcher, 2019). In truth, any framing of individual authorship in which the body text is “mine” and the citations gesture “elsewhere” belie the inherent interdependence of all intellectual life, and particularly of transMad intellectual life. transMad plural scholar mix. alan moss (2022) argues in relation to the pathologization of multiple systems: “all people, indeed all that exists, is a system that itself is constantly enmeshed in several overlapping and interconnected systems.” In short, I am full of Is, and will continue as many more. Just as disability justice helps us understand all life as interdependent and deserving of access, a transMad approach sees our selves as numerous and fuzzy. We have permission to dispense with the need for tidy texts, with our interlocutors, edits, and iterations either obfuscated entirely or exclusively relegated to a bibliography. transMad citation may thus be considered akin to visible mending[6], creating flamboyantly messy, multiplicitous work that does not seek to pass as objective or discrete.

On the value of (crip) failure and/as "virtuality":

Don’t get me wrong: Zoom PhD work is a failing enterprise. That is to say, it is a queercrip, transMad enterprise, which is to say, it is a beautiful, beautiful project. Mitchell, Snyder, and Ware describe such “fortunate failures” in the context of “curricular cripistemologies.”5 Coined by Merri Lisa Johnson, the term “cripistemologies,” refers to “embodied ways of knowing in relation, knowing-with, knowing-alongside, knowing-across-difference, and unknowing,” ways which frequently exist outside the purview of mainstream academia.6 Curricular cripistemologies, then, refer to an intentional, queercrip deviation from normative pedagogical approaches which trades the corrective impulse of “special ed” and other rehabilitative programs, and offers instead a generative noncompliance.7 That is, rather than trying to identify, isolate, and ameliorate difference, curricular cripistemologies lean into difference as it is experienced by disabled students ourselves, querying how atmospheres of in/accessibility shape normative approaches to education and how the embrace of “failure,” not as a last-resort but as a first choice, poses potentially transformative possibilities.

On transMadness and fat liberation: (for @trans-axolotl's Psych Survivor Zine)

A transMad, fat approach to disorderly eating requires making connections with humility and understanding, and, as I discussed above, engaging in compassionate, critical interrogation of our own anti-fatness.

[...]

A transMad, fat, abolitionist politic is one that makes room. We imagine beyond the cage, even if the details of that imagining are not yet clear. Just as we have carved micro-sites of support within violent digital and in-person contexts, just as we have learned to think about our lifeworlds beyond the paradigm of “recovery or death,” we can also reconceptualize fatness not as the enemy, but as another form of bodymind noncompliance in alliance and/or entanglement with disorderly eating practices. For thin disorderly eaters, this requires us to fundamentally challenge the way we view food and embodiment, even while maintaining a Mad respect for alternative ways of approaching reality.

On xenogenders, virtuality, and self-determination:

It is this very “irrationality” –– the “unrealness,” the “you’ve-got-to-be-kiddinghood,” that is most frequently weaponized against xenogenders, as well as their newly-coined sets of xenopronouns. The perceived and actual virtuality of xenogenders is often placed against the notion of “actuality,” in this case, of “real” (or “practical”) genders and pronouns to be used in one’s “real life.” Disabled activists have rightly resisted the distinction between online and (presumed-offline) “real life,” given that this categorically excludes homebound bodyminds, as well as those without IRL social and support circles. That said, I believe the virtual –– as almost, not-quite, proximite, making-do –– is incredibly useful in thinking about xenoidentities as transMad tools –– particularly, as transMad tools of underground collaboration / co-liberation.

[...]

What if gender was a project we wanted to fail? That is, what if trans- was a process not of getting better, not of moving-toward a bodymind more sane, more straight, and more cisheteropatriarchially desirable, but rather a line of flight on a longer trail to illegibility? Indeed, what if we replaced pathology’s narrow “path” with a trail lighted by the language of our comrades, whose linguistic interventions make and break gender in ways heretofore unimaginable? Xenoidentities, both individually and as a trans-gressive M.O., are fundamental to a broader transMad project of crafted, collective illegibility; intersubjective citation (imagine what it feels like for someone to be the gender that you coined!); and collective care that refuses a politics of cure. Crucially both virtual and digital, xenoidentities are furthermore a manifestation of the power of trans, predominantly disabled digital counterpublics, who overturn the hierarchy which places the IRL-real above the digital-unreal, making unruly, Mad space in which (with apologies to Donna Haraway) a hundred xenoselves might bloom.

On Maddening queer "diagnosis":

In her indictment of all “Kwik-Fix Drugs,” Gray further indicates the practice of forced treatment as in and of itself as a project of violent normalization, regardless of specific target or reason. The intentional ambiguity between her narrative of Madness and her narrative of asexuality disrupt mounting demands for a healthy (sanitized, neoliberal, and consumable) queerness. A Mad ace approach identifies these demands as, indeed, comparable with cis heteronormative notions of sexual maturity and responsibility – the idea that participation in culturally-normative sexual practices is a prerequisite for health (Kim, 2011, 481) and thus, personal autonomy (Meerai, Abdillahi, and Poole 2016, 21). By fusing the “lack of sexual appetite” attributed to her medications for bipolar disorder with her asexuality, Gray destabilizes the binary between healthy-sexual-diversity and unhealthy-psychopathology. She is once again disrupting contemporary queer impulses to dissociate from ongoing histories of pathologization. Here, Mad and queer/asexual activism are as inseparable in text as they are in Gray. Gray and her comrades collectively refuse both sexuality-as-“rehabilitation” (See Kim 2011, 486) and asexual acceptance predicated upon normative “health” (Kim 2010, 158) – that is, they Madden asexuality. Twoey, in her own voice, remixes the sources of her own pathologization, staggering the supposedly-divine pronouncement of the DSM across pages and bookending its extracts with her own writing and art. In this undermining of the DSM’s epistemological polish, Gray disrupts the domination of written prose over poetry and visual art, while also critiquing the role of the DSM in commercialized health “care.” Her zine opens with the lines “sex sells and sex is sold / sex was being sold and i didn’t buy” (Gray 2018, n.p.). Gray indicates a pathology perceived not only in a refusal to practice sex, but also in a refusal to buy (into) it. After all, a refusal to buy into existing sexual paradigms is for her also a refusal to buy into a feminized reproductive mandate.

[donnerpartyofone]

First I started getting so much spam to my Gmail account that it became unusable; I go in there occasionally and glance around to see if anything "important" jumps out at me, but basically spammers have rendered the email address that they themselves went to the trouble of harvesting totally useless. Now I get so many spam (and/or scam, what's the difference) voicemails that my phone is functionally unusable; there's just no point in trying to keep up with it, I started having the experience of getting new spam messages at the same exact time that I was deleting the last ones, so now I just have to let them pile up and I only listen to voicemail if I happen to specifically notice that I got a desirable call. The degree to which everything is crap now practically forces me to have a Why Fucking Bother attitude about everything, and I have to think this is really bad for my brain. Like it cannot be good to train myself to think that so few things are real or valuable that there's almost no point in even keeping an eye out for something useful.

Because of said damaged brain I'm not positive this is related, but I'm reminded of this specific pro-AI argument I sometimes see that strikes me as particularly disingenuous, the essence of which is: There is already very little way of reliably determining the provenance or authenticity of online content, so it doesn't matter at all if you can't tell the difference between slop and the real thing, and it also doesn't matter if slop achieves an increasing majority, because in any case you shouldn't be so credulous as to assume that ANYTHING you see online is real. Everything is nothing and nothing is everything. We're all trapped in our own subjective realities so nothing matters anyway -- seems to be the logical conclusion of this argument. And that just seems like such a cheap excuse for lazily enabling and/or actively empowering an explosion of unfilterable generative garbage that has changed the situation from one of "Maintain a healthy skepticism about what you see and read," to one of "Everything is fake so who gives a shit about anything, ever, from now on." Like yes, there's been fake-everything since the dawn of photography, but if you're going to pretend that the proportion of what's going on now doesn't matter, I think youre just being an asshole. You're just using any excuse to defend your new favorite toy, and I think you should admit that.

There's probably a name for this rhetorical device that's like when, for instance, people complain that trans athletes are ruining women's sports, but those people don't actually give a shit about women's sports, or women. You're probably thinking of a whole bunch of other examples of this right now. I see this in these online arguments about AI where someone goes "AI is negatively impacting the commercial art industry," and a pro-AI person goes, "That's not even a real problem, if you really cared you'd be complaining about the environmental impact/the impact of bad algorithms on jobs and housing/the polution of real, usable information" etc, which obviously they themselves don't care about or else they wouldn't be using and promoting the offending product. Or like most of the time that I hear someone say that anti-generative art attitudes are ableist, they're not actually a disabled person, or even a person interested in disability. Not that there's NEVER a real disabled person making this argument, but as a member of the general public I hear from them less than from people who are just grabbing at whatever is the most convenient way to stop someone from questioning their favorite thing. And I sometimes wish these guys would stop trying to make all AI critics sound stupid and insensitive, and just cut straight to "Fuck you, I just like it. I don't have a good reason. I know this is causing problems, I just don't give a shit about anything other than my own most immediate experience." But then again that's what we have going on in politics now -- the right has shifted away from even the shallowest most obligatory pretense of civil debate and litigation, which we could previously use to at least slow them down a little, and over to "Yes, we're big stupid evil pieces of shit and we like it that way, so fucking what," and in many ways this has made everything a lot worse.