#world 5

[milaisreading]

Crossdresser!Yn AU:

Rin: What are you doing?

CD!Yn, while looking at the World 5 team: I am just... observing our opponents...

Isagi: While they are stretching?

CD!Yn: Yes! It's important... For reasons.

Isagi: what?

Rin: What reasons?

CD!Yn: Scientific ones! Now let me look at them... like a whore-

Isagi: Like a what?

CD!Yn: Like... like a junior looks at their seniors!

[mirrorbusterz]

No art today, but I've really been thinking about the rkn's characterization as of late.

They're honestly the antithesis of each other; their character traits clash and clash hard but I feel like that makes for a very nice sibling dynamic they have with each other. I also like to hc that their differing personalities was an intentional design choice by Wily.

I'll explain what I mean, just know that I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and this is more of a stream of consciousness than anything else. So! With that in mind:

Enker--Based on his CD data, we know that he's very dedicated to destroying Mega Man, and takes it very seriously; he's a hard-ass with a gloomy personality. Hell, if you know anything about Enka music in general you'd know he's pretty much a physical representation of the music's soulful but sad melodies.

He is so dedicated to his programming that he would rather put himself in harm's way (i.e. sustaining damage to use the Barrier Spear) if that meant he could destroy Mega Man. He is an agent of order dedicated solely to completing his tasks.

So, when said agent of order failed at his one and only task, it makes sense for Wily to overcorrect. Why not design a robot to be the complete opposite of Enker?

That's when Punk was created.

Punk--He's loud. He's brash. He's hates PTAs and the government. Ya gotta love him.

Anyways, he couldn't be farther removed from Enker. While Enker is stated not to stand out, Punk loves showing out, represented by his love of accessories. While Enker would prefer to uphold the status quo, Punk wants to shake it up and have fun doing it.

His personality is heavily based on his namesake, Punk music, which has its roots in anti-facism and rebellion against "the man." It fucking rocks. This is heavily contrasted by the melancholic, "refined," Enka music. Y'see where I'm getting at?

I find it interesting that Punk's entire existence is a paradox considering I'd imagine he has disdain for any kind of authority, Wily included, but must follow Wily's orders anyways. But that's a text post for another day.

Back to the main point, even his fighting style is contrasted by Enker's. Enker's has a level of elegance to it, while Punk just throws his entire body at you. However, this doesn't mean Punk is reckless. In fact, this attack is pretty safe considering he can't be damaged while in his ball form. This is contrasted by Enker's extremely unsafe, even reckless, method of attack, that requires him to sustain damage.

But even Punk, the agent of chaos, wasn't enough to stop Mega Man.

You probably noticed that I haven't touched on Ballade yet. And that's because he doesn't really have any contrasting traits compared to his brothers. Wily must've realized he swung too far in both directions with Enker and Punk, so he made Ballade as a nice middle ground between the two.

Ballade--doesn't really stand for much except fighting. He wants to fight a strong opponent, and views himself as the "strongest" robot, and because of this he can come across as single minded. He feels too standard, too plain.

But his complexities are revealed once he is beaten and realizes what he is fighting for is wrong. He respects Mega Man's power, something that neither Enker nor Punk did.

Maybe the reason why he was able to break Wily's programming was because he didn't stand for much, able to break his base instincts because of his "weak will."

Or maybe because his will was so strong was the reason he broke his programming. Was he, perhaps, tired of fighting for Wily, and saw self-destruction as the only way out? I haven't decided myself.

Whatever the case, in his dying moments he was able to stand for something: ending up on the right side of history by helping Mega Man.

So sorry if this was a rambling, confused read! I've got that RKN autism, lmao. Btw, I really wanted to dissect Quint some too since I consider him their adopted brother, but it was getting way too long. A text post for another time! :)

[lonepower]

yes i Am paying real money to make you all look at our new dog. we've had her for 3 hours and if anything happened to her I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself. her name is Tater Tot

[razzafrazzle]

I think that I've only drawn Ford like. 3 times in my entire life. so here's some Fordsy (and some Fiddsy. and a Bill I guess)

[image description: a page of drawings of ford, mcgucket, and bill cipher from gravity falls. near the top are two portraits of ford, one in the gravity falls style and the other in a more realistic style. next to that is a simple doodle of ford and mcgucket smiling and embracing with the caption "old man yaoi!" beneath them. in the bottom left is a simple drawing of a younger ford, and next to that is a drawing of bill with a speech bubble saying "i'm here too! also i'm hatless for spacing reasons". next to that is bill's hat, as well as mcgucket in an orange and brown 70s-style outfit and a braided beard, and he is sitting on the ground, lost in thought. end id]

[thedestinysunknown]

New Super Mario Bros - World 5:

"Time for the iced theme levels, and this is another world where you need to beat the final boss with Tiny Mario, in order to unlock one of the worlds. I like most of these levels, with the exception of the 4th gif. That's one frustrating level to beat without dying all the freaking time. "

PS: the gameplay used for this gifset is not mine. The original video belongs to the user: Typhlosion4President, on Youtube.

[purpleheroine]

Stop attacking your daughter 😭😭

[egophiliac]

*shaky thumbs up* I just finished ch5...... y-you were not kidding about it being a heavy one.....

:)

(how's that going so far, Mal)

[ask-the-pioneer]

Am lizard... am bring food... want... hunt with... creature... can... creature hunt... with... me?...

[itsbansheebitch]

Rants at the Hairdresser

her, behind me trimming my hair: "it's so wild how big cars are. Seems a bit dangerous, ya know?"

me, enjoying the smell of the stuff she sprayed in my hair: "Yeah, apparently that's because it's cheaper to have a car classified as a 'light truck' since you can get past safety regulations and they have different frames."

her, who has paused working on my hair: "Wait, are you serious?"

me: "Yeah, apparently it's a lot cheaper for companies to do that. And it really sucks since driving one of those cars is super dangerous, but it's even more dangerous for other people, especially if they're in a smaller car. Since it would be more safe to be another driver if they ALSO have a 'light truck,' everyone is caught in a cycle of getting bigger and bigger cars. All of which are extremely dangerous and have made being a pedestrian even more dangerous."

her: deep in thought, silent.

me, happy that someone is letting me rant about this: "Oh, the new Cadillacs are the size of tanks. That's not an exaggeration, by the way."

her, stunned: ???? "what the actual hell???"

we're silent for a bit

her, hesitantly, since I look like white trash and she has at least 10 piercings and pink hair: "I feel like America has been that way for a while... ya know?"

me: "Oh yeah, I totally get what you're saying, like, putting profit over people's safety?"

her, assured now that she knows we're both too commie pilled for this kind of conversation with someone else: "Yes! Exactly! It really sucks, right?"

me: "God, tell me about it"

I was very happy with my haircut, btw. She's so good at her job. :D

[roses-and-lightnings]

Shoutout to that time Alice Wu-Gulliver, a Fire Witch, one of the few coven members able to cast actual magic, woke up and chose to beat a Salemite with a fucking broomstick

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[axoqiii]

🦋 whichever path you choose

[cactikoi]

Straight up pondering my karma rn

[loquaxleemons]

Me when the five pebbles png appears behind me

IM SCARED. Reanimated dippers part of the gravity falls intro for an animation assesment. survivor campaign be like.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tesla's Dieselgate

Elon Musk lies a lot. He lies about being a “utopian socialist.” He lies about being a “free speech absolutist.” He lies about which companies he founded:

https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-cofounder-martin-eberhard-interview-history-elon-musk-ev-market-2023-2 He lies about being the “chief engineer” of those companies:

https://www.quora.com/Was-Elon-Musk-the-actual-engineer-behind-SpaceX-and-Tesla

He lies about really stupid stuff, like claiming that comsats that share the same spectrum will deliver steady broadband speeds as they add more users who each get a narrower slice of that spectrum:

https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband

The fundamental laws of physics don’t care about this bullshit, but people do. The comsat lie convinced a bunch of people that pulling fiber to all our homes is literally impossible — as though the electrical and phone lines that come to our homes now were installed by an ancient, lost civilization. Pulling new cabling isn’t a mysterious art, like embalming pharaohs. We do it all the time. One of the poorest places in America installed universal fiber with a mule named “Ole Bub”:

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us

Previous tech barons had “reality distortion fields,��� but Musk just blithely contradicts himself and pretends he isn’t doing so, like a budget Steve Jobs. There’s an entire site devoted to cataloging Musk’s public lies:

https://elonmusk.today/

But while Musk lacks the charm of earlier Silicon Valley grifters, he’s much better than they ever were at running a long con. For years, he’s been promising “full self driving…next year.”

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money

He’s hasn’t delivered, but he keeps claiming he has, making Teslas some of the deadliest cars on the road:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

Tesla is a giant shell-game masquerading as a car company. The important thing about Tesla isn’t its cars, it’s Tesla’s business arrangement, the Tesla-Financial Complex:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat

Once you start unpacking Tesla’s balance sheets, you start to realize how much the company depends on government subsidies and tax-breaks, combined with selling carbon credits that make huge, planet-destroying SUVs possible, under the pretense that this is somehow good for the environment:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy

But even with all those financial shenanigans, Tesla’s got an absurdly high valuation, soaring at times to 1600x its profitability:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/15/hoover-calling/#intangibles

That valuation represents a bet on Tesla’s ability to extract ever-higher rents from its customers. Take Tesla’s batteries: you pay for the battery when you buy your car, but you don’t own that battery. You have to rent the right to use its full capacity, with Tesla reserving the right to reduce how far you go on a charge based on your willingness to pay:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/09/10/teslas-demon-haunted-cars-in-irmas-path-get-a-temporary-battery-life-boost/

That’s just one of the many rent-a-features that Tesla drivers have to shell out for. You don’t own your car at all: when you sell it as a used vehicle, Tesla strips out these features you paid for and makes the next driver pay again, reducing the value of your used car and transfering it to Tesla’s shareholders:

https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/6/21127243/tesla-model-s-autopilot-disabled-remotely-used-car-update

To maintain this rent-extraction racket, Tesla uses DRM that makes it a felony to alter your own car’s software without Tesla’s permission. This is the root of all autoenshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

This is technofeudalism. Whereas capitalists seek profits (income from selling things), feudalists seek rents (income from owning the things other people use). If Telsa were a capitalist enterprise, then entrepreneurs could enter the market and sell mods that let you unlock the functionality in your own car:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/11/1-in-3/#boost-50

But because Tesla is a feudal enterprise, capitalists must first secure permission from the fief, Elon Musk, who decides which companies are allowed to compete with him, and how.

Once a company owns the right to decide which software you can run, there’s no limit to the ways it can extract rent from you. Blocking you from changing your device’s software lets a company run overt scams on you. For example, they can block you from getting your car independently repaired with third-party parts.

But they can also screw you in sneaky ways. Once a device has DRM on it, Section 1201 of the DMCA makes it a felony to bypass that DRM, even for legitimate purposes. That means that your DRM-locked device can spy on you, and because no one is allowed to explore how that surveillance works, the manufacturer can be incredibly sloppy with all the personal info they gather:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/29/tesla-model-3-keeps-data-like-crash-videos-location-phone-contacts.html

All kinds of hidden anti-features can lurk in your DRM-locked car, protected from discovery, analysis and criticism by the illegality of bypassing the DRM. For example, Teslas have a hidden feature that lets them lock out their owners and summon a repo man to drive them away if you have a dispute about a late payment:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

DRM is a gun on the mantlepiece in Act I, and by Act III, it goes off, revealing some kind of ugly and often dangerous scam. Remember Dieselgate? Volkswagen created a line of demon-haunted cars: if they thought they were being scrutinized (by regulators measuring their emissions), they switched into a mode that traded performance for low emissions. But when they believed themselves to be unobserved, they reversed this, emitting deadly levels of NOX but delivering superior mileage.

The conversion of the VW diesel fleet into mobile gas-chambers wouldn’t have been possible without DRM. DRM adds a layer of serious criminal jeopardy to anyone attempting to reverse-engineer and study any device, from a phone to a car. DRM let Apple claim to be a champion of its users’ privacy even as it spied on them from asshole to appetite:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Now, Tesla is having its own Dieselgate scandal. A stunning investigation by Steve Stecklow and Norihiko Shirouzu for Reuters reveals how Tesla was able to create its own demon-haunted car, which systematically deceived drivers about its driving range, and the increasingly desperate measures the company turned to as customers discovered the ruse:

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/

The root of the deception is very simple: Tesla mis-sells its cars by falsely claiming ranges that those cars can’t attain. Every person who ever bought a Tesla was defrauded.

But this fraud would be easy to detect. If you bought a Tesla rated for 353 miles on a charge, but the dashboard range predictor told you that your fully charged car could only go 150 miles, you’d immediately figure something was up. So your Telsa tells another lie: the range predictor tells you that you can go 353 miles.

But again, if the car continued to tell you it has 203 miles of range when it was about to run out of charge, you’d figure something was up pretty quick — like, the first time your car ran out of battery while the dashboard cheerily informed you that you had 203 miles of range left.

So Teslas tell a third lie: when the battery charge reached about 50%, the fake range is replaced with the real one. That way, drivers aren’t getting mass-stranded by the roadside, and the scam can continue.

But there’s a new problem: drivers whose cars are rated for 353 miles but can’t go anything like that far on a full charge naturally assume that something is wrong with their cars, so they start calling Tesla service and asking to have the car checked over.

This creates a problem for Tesla: those service calls can cost the company $1,000, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with the car. It’s performing exactly as designed. So Tesla created its boldest fraud yet: a boiler-room full of anti-salespeople charged with convincing people that their cars weren’t broken.

This new unit — the “diversion team” — was headquartered in a Nevada satellite office, which was equipped with a metal xylophone that would be rung in triumph every time a Tesla owner was successfully conned into thinking that their car wasn’t defrauding them.

When a Tesla owner called this boiler room, the diverter would run remote diagnostics on their car, then pronounce it fine, and chide the driver for having energy-hungry driving habits (shades of Steve Jobs’s “You’re holding it wrong”):

https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/

The drivers who called the Diversion Team weren’t just lied to, they were also punished. The Tesla app was silently altered so that anyone who filed a complaint about their car’s range was no longer able to book a service appointment for any reason. If their car malfunctioned, they’d have to request a callback, which could take several days.

Meanwhile, the diverters on the diversion team were instructed not to inform drivers if the remote diagnostics they performed detected any other defects in the cars.

The diversion team had a 750 complaint/week quota: to juke this stat, diverters would close the case for any driver who failed to answer the phone when they were eventually called back. The center received 2,000+ calls every week. Diverters were ordered to keep calls to five minutes or less.

Eventually, diverters were ordered to cease performing any remote diagnostics on drivers’ cars: a source told Reuters that “Thousands of customers were told there is nothing wrong with their car” without any diagnostics being performed.

Predicting EV range is an inexact science as many factors can affect battery life, notably whether a journey is uphill or downhill. Every EV automaker has to come up with a figure that represents some kind of best guess under a mix of conditions. But while other manufacturers err on the side of caution, Tesla has the most inaccurate mileage estimates in the industry, double the industry average.

Other countries’ regulators have taken note. In Korea, Tesla was fined millions and Elon Musk was personally required to state that he had deceived Tesla buyers. The Korean regulator found that the true range of Teslas under normal winter conditions was less than half of the claimed range.

Now, many companies have been run by malignant narcissists who lied compulsively — think of Thomas Edison, archnemesis of Nikola Tesla himself. The difference here isn’t merely that Musk is a deeply unfit monster of a human being — but rather, that DRM allows him to defraud his customers behind a state-enforced opaque veil. The digital computers at the heart of a Tesla aren’t just demons haunting the car, changing its performance based on whether it believes it is being observed — they also allow Musk to invoke the power of the US government to felonize anyone who tries to peer into the black box where he commits his frauds.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

This Sunday (July 30) at 1530h, I’m appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning “Ghost Post” Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.

Image ID [A scene out of an 11th century tome on demon-summoning called 'Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros. Anno 1057. Noli me tangere.' It depicts a demon tormenting two unlucky would-be demon-summoners who have dug up a grave in a graveyard. One summoner is held aloft by his hair, screaming; the other screams from inside the grave he is digging up. The scene has been altered to remove the demon's prominent, urinating penis, to add in a Tesla supercharger, and a red Tesla Model S nosing into the scene.]

Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en