#not much rambling in the tags on this one
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jasontoddiefor · 3 days ago
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Things Germany got in November
gender (official release)
Christian Lindner (arbeitssuchend)
Things Germany got in April
weed
gender
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 days ago
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promiscuous
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in which spencer reid doesn't like that flirty!reader is going on a date. he makes that known. (bandages universe)
flangst, 18+ for discussions of sex warnings/tags: gn!reader I think, mentions of going to a bar/going for drinks, very suppressed mutual pining, jealousy from Spencer, reader implied to engage in casual sex, reader calls themself a slut somewhat disparagingly but like as a joke, it all gets resolved, he is very sweet, he rambles when he's nervous a/n: oh God I love them so much they are like so in love and they literally have no idea at all because they're so dumb... but WE can tell.. turning point for them
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“Penelope wanted me to confirm that you guys are coming to drinks with us tonight?”
It’s something of a standing tradition for the BAU on the last Friday of every month, and usually you’d agree, but tonight, you have other plans. 
“Raincheck for me,” you say, sliding some files into your bag which you do not plan on reviewing. “I have a thing.”
“What thing do you have on a Friday night?” Morgan asks skeptically. You don’t bother looking at him as you hide a smile. 
“A date, Morgan. You jealous?”
“You’re going on a date?”
You’d nearly forgotten Spencer was in the room until he spoke—he’s been in one of those quiet moods of his where he sort of floats around everyone else and makes himself insubstantial. As you cast him a sidelong glance, trying to figure out his tone of voice, you see he’s frowning. Nearly grimacing. His brows are drawn so tight you’re worried he’ll give himself a headache. 
“Uh, yeah. I am.” Suddenly, your parade feels a little rained on. 
“With who?”
You pause, looking back down at your desk with a new frown of your own and shaking your head as if you could clear it that way. “Just… some guy from OT.”
“Dalton?”
Ding ding ding. Somehow he got it right on the first guess, and for some reason, you wish he hadn’t. You don’t want Spencer knowing who you’re going on a date with. It feels wrong. 
“Does it matter?” You evade, shoving your things with a little more force into your bag. 
“Well Dalton is an idiot, so I guess I’m just trying to figure out why you’d go out with him.”
“And if it’s not Dalton?”
“Then I’d tell you all the guys in OT are idiots and you shouldn’t waste your time on any of them.”
“Alright—” Morgan passes between your desks, placing a friendly hand on your back as he does. “I’m gonna let you two hash this out by yourselves.” He gives you a look, eyebrows raised, unsmiling, that means, go easy on the kid. It makes you feel terribly guilty. And more than a little defensive. 
“Night,” you call halfheartedly. He only waves as the glass doors swing shut behind him, leaving you and boy genius alone in the bull pen.
Silence falls, cloistering you as you finish packing up together. It seems to magnify the buzz of the overheads. You notice him intentionally lingering, and you sling your bag over your shoulder with a sigh. 
“Okay,” you say, turning to face him with your whole body. He seems uncomfortable with that, but you’re not letting this go. “What is this? Why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you,” he mumbles, refusing to meet your eyes. “I just think—”
“Yeah. You’ve made your thoughts abundantly clear. I don’t know why you’re judging me for going on a date.”
“I’m not judging you! I just think you deserve better than a guy who looks like he… snorts protein powder for every meal and has less capacity for intelligent conversation than a mealworm.”
“Okay. Do you have someone in mind?”
The words come out a little sharper than you’d meant for them to. A little louder. Spencer looks like a scolded puppy as he swallows. 
“Not specifically. Just—someone more like you.”
He just doesn’t get it. You fold your jacket over your arm. 
“Yeah, well, until someone more like me comes along and asks me out, Dalton is the best I’ve got. I know he’s not my soulmate, Reid. But he asked me to drinks, and I said yes.”
The room is mostly dark. Only a few fluorescents remain on to cast Spencer in an almost clinical glow against a dark grey background. You’ve been here before. It feels like an interrogation. An environment where you’re practically begging for the truth without saying please, but there’s only room for measured dishonesty. 
Spencer speaks under his breath, fiddling with the strap of his own bag. “He’s not good enough for you.”
“What do you want me to do?” It’s an exasperated, confrontational sigh. Your arms raise and fall heavily back to your sides. Another long grey hallway of silence that leads nowhere. When it becomes clear he doesn’t have the answer, or he’s not comfortable sharing, you straighten. “I’ll see you Monday, Reid.”
Your spirits are completely dampened as you trudge to the elevators. What once seemed like an exciting opportunity now only serves as a depressing reminder that you’re wasting your time with a man who isn’t what you want. Maybe you should just call the whole thing off. 
“Wait,” Spencer calls, half-jogging to catch the open elevator. His bag bobs with every step, pens and things jingling around inside. It’s endearing, even though you’re upset with him. Your arms remain stubbornly crossed, but he makes it anyway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your mood.”
You laugh dryly. “Yeah, well…”
“It’s just that…” he sniffs and looks down, hair falling in front of his face. He really is sweet, even when he’s kind of a dick. He’s full of so much sincerity he doesn’t know what to do with it all. “I know how you are—you’re special, and funny, and intelligent, and, and Dalton—all those qualities are wasted on him. He looks at you and he just sees a pretty face. It may sound trite, but… he doesn’t deserve you.”
You sigh again, heart squeezing. The glowing light on the panel of floor numbers flickers. “I know your heart is in the right place, alright? But it’s not about who deserves me or who doesn’t. I’m not a prize. I’m a person, and people like to feel wanted. Sometimes, it’s just—it’s about who’s there, and who likes me enough to say it to my face. Sometimes that’s all I need, and I know you didn’t mean it like this, but when you say he doesn’t deserve me, it really seems like you’re not considering what I might want at all. Maybe Dalton is what I want.”
God—this elevator ride is like, comedically long. 
“Is he what you want?”
At least he has the bravery to ask. 
You glance over at Spencer, washed out bloodless and looking like he’s prepared to flinch, like he doesn’t know if he’s ready for the answer. The doors ding and slide open, and stale air whooshes from the chrome compartment into the lobby like a held breath finally exhaled. You swallow. 
“I don’t know why it matters to you.”
“Because you’re my friend and I want to see you happy,” he insists, trailing after you as you speed walk through the lobby. Every click of your heeled boots echos. 
“Then shouldn’t you be supporting me?”
“I’m not going to support you in making the wrong choice.”
The conversation spills out into the bitter-cold parking lot. You turn around to face him. 
“Respectfully, you have no idea what’s right or wrong for me. I don’t like whatever this is,” you say, gesturing with a finger between the two of you, as if the conflict were a tangible thing—a phone line hanging between your hearts. “I don’t know if it’s, like, jealousy, or some misplaced feeling of possessiveness, or protectiveness, or—”
“It’s not like that!” He splutters. 
“Okay—so what is it like? If you want to see me happy, why don’t you support me in pursuing the things that make me happy? And if that’s meaningless sex with some guy from operational tech, so be it! You are not in a position to give your two cents on who I sleep with!”
“I wasn’t trying to—I wasn’t even thinking about—about sex! I don’t care who you sleep with!”
He’s turning increasingly pink. 
“Fine. But if you weren’t thinking about sex, if you thought I was under any illusion that Dalton was going to be my fucking Prince Charming then clearly you’re not equipped to have this conversation. I know he’s an idiot. I’m not looking for my soulmate—thank you, though, for reminding me that it’s completely fucking pointless to even pretend. I love you, Spencer, but grow up. And stay out of my business.”
And with that, you’re turning on your heel and marching toward your car. Spencer calls your name—once. Twice. The wind lashes against your bare arms and stings your eyes as you fumble with your keys. 
It’s just the wind. 
Nothing else. 
-
Maybe you’re simply not meant for love. 
It’s a narcissistic thought in the sense that everyone has it at some point in their lives—everyone falls victim to the delusion that they are so uniquely wretched, so singularly incapable of being understood by another person. It’s the universal illusion of solitude. And you’d thought yourself above it for a long time. In college, there was fling after fling. Your bed was never empty if you didn’t want it to be. In your young adult life, you have other priorities—but you rarely have to be alone. 
Now, though, as you sit on a rickety metal stool deep in the bowels of the Bureau’s records room, banished to sort through files in search of one that had been mishandled during a cold case and is now supposedly relevant again, (although you’re not sure it actually exists) you’re pondering the nature of those connections you’d been so sure your life was full of. Were they all artificial? Designed by you subconsciously to manufacture a sense of complacent satisfaction? To stave off the aching, gnawing loneliness in your gut that you’re only now becoming aware of and has been eating you away in bigger and bigger bites since Friday night?
Morgan was supposed to be just as arm-deep into a box of dusty manila folders as you are now, but he talked his way out of it, and you’re sitting in an awkward twenty-minute-long-so-far silence with Spencer. Which isn’t helping anything. 
The tension comes and goes like the moon pulling the tides. It’s like you can sense it wafting off of each other—you feel it in the prickle on the back of your neck and the buzz in your stomach when he’s about to say something, and you glance over, and he’s already looking at you with his lips parted, and then he doesn’t say anything after all, and the silence reinforces itself. 
It gets frustrating. 
Not to mention this task is equal parts mind numbing and infuriating. Maybe Hotch just hates you. 
Eventually Spencer clears his throat, and you welcome the distraction. 
“What year are you on?”
You give him a long look which he doesn’t reciprocate, because you want to say, really? But eventually you pick up the edge of the box you’re sifting through and double check. 
“Uh… June 1979 through August 1979.”
He nods matter-of-facts. “They should be making us wear gloves.”
Your incoming tangent spidey senses are tingling. It’s not exactly an opportune time, but it’s better than silence. 
Plus—you’re pretty sure this is his idea of a peace offering. 
“Why’s that?” You mutter, flicking through yellowed papers. 
“Wood pulp paper contains an alum-rosin mixture to minimize ink bleeding, but in the presence of moisture such as that introduced in trace amounts by our fingertips it generates a diluted sulfuric acid solution. They didn’t start adding alkaline buffers into paper until 1986, and the cellulose chains that comprise the structure of the paper inevitably shorten and break down over time, so we’re actively degrading these documents by touching them without gloves.”
“Did you say sulfuric acid?”
“I said a diluted sulfuric acid solution,” he clarifies, utterly missing the point of your question as he so often does in that disarmingly endearing way of his. “Sorry, by the way.”
You look up from a photo of bloodied bell-bottom jeans. He’s caught you by surprise. 
“For what?”
“For—”
He struggles with the words—you watch his lips form a few silent ones before he gives up on the nonchalant act and sets his file on his lap. He can’t seem to tear his eyes from it, but you don’t mind. 
“For everything on Friday. I… I know it was none of my business. I sometimes struggle with… keeping my thoughts to myself. Especially when it concerns someone I care about. But I wasn’t judging you, I swear. What you said about—about sex, I—” he sighs, obviously frustrated with himself, and pushes a bit of hair out of his eyes. “That’s not where my mind was at, at all. Whatever you… do, or don’t do, is none of my business. Obviously. You don’t need me to tell you that. You don’t need me to tell you anything. I just really wanted to clarify that I wasn’t shaming you or judging you for—”
“Spencer,” you say gently, cutting him off and reeling him in before he can dig any deeper. 
“Yeah. Sorry.”
He glows under the canned lighting, a soft aura of white blurring the edges of him. The stale room buzzes. It’s otherwise quiet down here. Peaceful, almost. 
From anyone else, you might consider it overstepping. 
You wouldn’t have been willing to forgive them in the first place. 
But it’s not anyone else. 
“Thank you, for apologizing. I really appreciate it.”
He glances up at you, sort of hunched—always trying to make himself smaller than whatever force created him had intended. The deep brown of his eyes is melted and swirling and sweet and nervous. He’s not naturally good at these interpersonal things, but he’s always trying. He’s always pushing himself for you.
Do you ask too much? 
Do you offer enough in return?
Struck by sudden insecurity, you look away. Go back to your files. 
Perhaps you made a mountain out of a molehill and told him to climb it. 
“I mean, I am kind of a slut. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so,” you laugh airily. “Maybe it was a good reality check.”
A trailing silence. An air conditioner kicks on. 
“What? That’s not—that’s not at all what I was trying to say.”
“Spencer, it’s fine.”
His stool squeaks as he sits up straighter. 
“No, I really want you to understand. Even if I cared or thought about how many people you might sleep with—which I don’t—and even if I determined that you were… sexually promiscuous, I wouldn’t assign a moral value to that judgement. Sexual promiscuity is observed all the time in the animal kingdom, it’s biologically sound and justified and in less misogynistic cultures where bonds forged between humans weren’t socioeconomic arrangements dependent on women being viewed as commodities first and foremost, it’s completely unremarkable. But I haven’t made that determination. All I know is that… you’re you. And that’s all that’s ever going to matter to me.”
Silence falls. Your voice gets stuck in your throat. 
How does he so casually show you more kindness than anyone else has ever managed to show you in your life?
Spencer takes pity on you. 
“And… we’ve talked entirely too much about something that’s none of my business today.”
It’s wry and earns a chuckle from you. Even Spencer manages a chagrined smile. That same strand of hair falls loose as he looks down. Light bounces from his self-effacing smirk. 
You fiddle absentmindedly with the fraying corner of a folder, and you’re about to open your mouth, about to speak into the sparkling cloud that the easy laughter and the melted tension has left in its wake, and tell him how much you appreciate him and how kind he truly is and undoubtedly whatever you say will be made more beautiful because of it—because of the affection you have for each other—and then you stop, eyes catching on the case file between your fingers. You frown. 
“Wait—what’s the case number we’re looking for?”
“91 18 00063 7.”
You hold the file up, eyes alight. 
“I found it.”
Spencer frowns and takes it without asking. You watch as he reviews the number in tiny black typeface along the top of the document. His brow scrunches in disbelief. 
“I genuinely didn’t think we were ever going to find it,” he murmurs after leading through the photos and glances back up at you. “We had thirty years of boxes to look through and you found it in under an hour. You’re like magic.”
It’s impossible not to smile. You feel all warm and sparkly as you snatch it back from him and stand, straightening your jacket. 
“Will you tell that to Hotch?”
“I… will tell anyone who will listen,” he assures you, and you’re confident he’s following as you make your way through the maze of stacks. “Are we not gonna clean up our mess?”
“There are people who will take care of that later.”
“Yeah. Like me. During my lunch break.”
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be well rewarded for your efforts today.”
“What does that mean?” He mumbles, and you can practically hear his blush. 
You smile to yourself. 
Still got it. 
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for more of these two, check out the bandages universe masterlist!
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parfaitblogs · 3 days ago
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making the bed ❀ s. reid x reader
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in which your night crumbles around you, and spencer is happy to pick up the pieces. 
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: hurt/comfort  tags: established relationship. (prior) alcohol consumption. reader is semi-drunk (but sobers up). post drinking depression. healthy alcohol information/discussion 🫡 word count: 2.1k a/n: do not read too much into this for you will begin to question why i still enjoy going clubbing. (joke...) 😄 plsss tell me if u liked this or even if u didnt thank u i love uuuuuu
Alcohol is a depressant. 
You remembered the God awful lecture your boyfriend had given you when you woke up one Sunday morning with this feeling of existential dread, and nothing to pin it to. A ramble about how alcohol can temporarily increase the body's production of dopamine and serotonin when entering, causing a worse crash of both chemicals when it leaves. Leaving you, evidently, depressed and anxious after a big night. 
You knew that. 
You also knew how quick you were to seclude within your mind when you were with people. Too many drinks and not enough social interaction tended to lead to your own isolation, sitting on the outer edge of the booth, absentmindedly playing with the charm on the end of your phone. 
The room no longer spun the way it had an hour ago. You missed when it spun. When it spun, you weren't thinking about how little you had to contribute to the conversations your friends were having. You weren't tallying up how many drinks you had already drank, then falling flat when you realised you couldn't remember, and that was a thought more horrifying than knowing it was over ten. You were fun, when the room was a carousel. 
Now, it's simply overwhelming. Loud chattering from both your table, and the surrounding ones. Clinking of glasses at the bar. A sports game on the television across the room. Balls on a pool table being dispersed for the first time in a game. Dancing feet. Music. People. So many fucking people.
Your phone buzzes against the table, and you pick it up before any of your friends could turn their heads to see where the vibrations were coming from. You figured they were too drunk to conclude it was you, anyways. Or to care. 
Spencer had texted you fifteen minutes ago to check in on you, and though it wasn't long ago, you not responding immediately in a flurry of half strung together sentences and emojis was worrying for him. That was probably why his name was now lighting up your screen, a funny photo of him mid-bite of an ice cream as his contact photo, enlarged. 
You hadn't responded for no reason other than the fact that you had no will to. Which should've been a big enough red flag to yourself that you should text him, and you should ask if he can pick you up. Thankfully, he loved to prove how well he could read you, and he was calling you anyways. 
"Hi," you mumble into the phone, angling your body away from your friends, hand held up to your other ear to block out some of the noise the best you could. 
"Hi," he parrots back to you. "You okay?"
An automatic yes manifests on your tongue, but you're quick enough to keep it to yourself before you can lie to him. Instead, you let out a quiet, "No."
He seems to have expected that answer, for he leaves no silence in between your admission and his response. "What can I do to help?" He also seems to be expecting your hesitance at asking him for anything that would require him to move, because he adds, "I can pick you up. Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Yes. Please?"
"I'm already leaving," he tells you, and you can hear his shoes against the wooden floor of his apartment to confirm that. "Did something happen? Are you safe?"
"No, nothing happened. I'm safe," you reassure him. "I started feeling sick so I stopped drinking an hour ago. Now I'm just sad."
"You remember what I told you about it being a depressant?"
"Vividly," you mutter, and while it isn't meant to be funny, you hear him huff a short laugh anyways. It makes you feel a little better. 
"It's important to know," he defends. "I'm sorry I shared important information with you."
"Mm."
Your lack of a verbal response was expected, but he still hated the sound of it regardless. You heard him sigh. "I have to hang up now. I'll be there in forty minutes. Will you be okay?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. I love you."
"Love you too."
No matter how much time had passed, your head lifted every time the door — that your group was so conveniently close to — opened, letting in a rush of cool air and sobering you up with every hit of it. 
True to his word, Spencer was entering the bar after forty minutes, face scrunching up at the sudden onslaught of noises and visual stimuli. Same boat as you, only he had not a drop of alcohol in his body. At least you weren't crazy about it being overstimulating. 
"This is why I don't go to bars," he says once he's approached your booth, and you had stood up next to you, his hand finding an automatic place on your waist. 
"It's usually not this bad," you tell him, but he decides not to ask you anything else upon hearing just how exhausted your voice sounds. You're grateful for that.
The goodbye to your friends is quick, Spencer rattling off a lie about him needing you home for he had work early the next morning, and you only had one key to the apartment. Even the friends who knew that wasn't the case didn't comment on it, and you made a pointless mental note to thank them for it later. You knew you wouldn't. 
The drive home was even faster. Silence, aside from the rush of the wind from your slightly cracked window as Spencer drove, that helped the sick feeling in your stomach from the alcohol you had consumed. 
It didn't seem to help the hollowness of your chest, though.
You weren't sure if anything would, really. A chemical imbalance in your brain — even one as temporary as the deflation from being drunk — was hard to fix without medication. It would go away, yes. But then you would make the mistake of drinking once more, and you would find yourself back in this brain peeling predicament. 
You showered alone. Despite Spencer's offer to join you, and your own personal desire for him to be there with you. It didn't help your fogged mind at all, and you were exiting the bathroom feeling like you had retreated further into your bones. Every movement felt clunky, your skin a heavy coat to your skeleton, restricting your movement down to short shuffles and barely lifted arm movements. 
He was reading when you reentered your bedroom, and you've never seen him put a book and his glasses back on his bedside table faster. He looked visibly tired. Keeping himself awake a seemingly difficult struggle, that you could feel your body heading towards to as well. 
"Hey," he says as you climb into the bed, and he's very patient as you figure out what position you want your bodies in. Head on his chest, but next to him, you had decided on, and his fingers entangled into your hair.
"Hi," you mumble, staring up at the ceiling, counting brush strokes of the paint, as if it were possible to.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
You huff at the phrase, tilting your head upwards so your eyes could land on him. "Do you have a penny?"
He pauses, then angles his head closer towards yours. "Okay, kiss for your thoughts?"
"That'll just distract me."
"Is that what you want?"
You should say no. Arguably the last thing you should be doing when you're sad is let intimacy with your boyfriend distract you. But then again, you're not the best advocate for healthy coping mechanisms anyways. 
"Maybe."
"Maybe?" he muses, and his lips brush against yours. Your heart flutters. 
"I don't really know what I want," you settle on telling him, honestly. "I want my brain to shut up."
His body deflates beneath you, and you feel guilt chip away up your spine at the killing of the less depressing atmosphere. 
"Sorry," you mumble.
"No. It's good. Be honest with me," he reassures you, quietly. His fingers tap at your scalp, "What's going on up here?"
"I'll cry if I try to verbalise it."
"Crying's good for you, you know," he hums.
"I'm pretty sure I still have eyeliner in my waterline. I'll just stain your sheets," you retort. 
"Yeah, probably. That's fine."
You're silent for a few moments, gathering your thoughts in your brain the best you could despite yourself, before you sit up, his hand dropping to the bed beside you.
"I just don't like being... here? Out? I don't know. I'm just really sick of being sad every time I drink. Is there something wrong with me? Did you get sad whenever you drank? Everyone else I know loves going out for drinks because they have fun and they're giggly drunks, or they're clingy drunks. And if I drink too much then I'm a fucking sad drunk, and I'm the only person I know that gets that way. I want to be normal."
He's silent your entire rant, and then some, waiting for your heaving chest to slow, having caught the few tears that slipped down your cheeks. You were grateful — you needed that time.
He reaches a hand out, and you let him tug you back down to the bed, slotting your body atop his own, just so he could see you properly. 
"To answer your question, no, I didn't get sad when I drank," he says, brushing your hair out of your face, before his hands rest on either side of your face. "But I wasn't really happy, either. I just talked more."
"You already talk a lot."
His lips twitch. "I do. Double whatever you think my worst is, and that was me drunk. Focus on the part where I said I wasn't a happy drunk, please."
"But you weren't sad. So there is something wrong with me."
"No, there's not. Alcohol is a depressant," he punctuates his words with a kiss to your nose, which you gratefully accept despite your emotions. "Are you willing to give up alcohol as a whole?" 
"My friends will think I'm boring, then."
He hesitates in his response, but ultimately settles on asking, "Do you think I'm boring because I don't drink?"
"No. Obviously not. And you have a real reason for not drinking, so—"
"—and being sad isn't a real reason to not drink?"
Taken aback by his sudden sternness, you go quiet, breath hitching within your throat. He was right, ultimately. No reason is reason enough. You knew that. 
Sensing your discomfort at his tone, he expels a breath of air and lowers his hands down to your hips. His voice drops to something a little less harsh, as he murmurs, "You are allowed to not want to drink alcohol if you don't like the way it makes you feel. If your friends think you're boring for that, then they're not worth it."
You silently nod your head, beginning to curse your emotional regulators. For while you had kept your tears at bay for the vast majority of this conversation, it seemed all it took was the gentle rubbing of circles onto your hip bones, and a fact checked piece of life advice from your boyfriend to make you cry. 
"Sorry," you sniffle, dropping your head to the crook of his neck to hide your newly tear stricken face. 
"Crying's good for you," he repeats his earlier words, and feels you nod your head. "You don't have to decide tonight. I'd encourage you not to, actually. You're technically still intoxicated."
"I'm sober," you protest, weakly. 
"Okay, honey." He's only agreeing with you to wane any further argument. "I don't think your friends will think you're boring, though, if that's any help."
"I don't think they will either."
He nods his head, and you're relaxing against him a little more. 
"Are you just trying to not be the only loser who doesn't drink?" you mumble, voice muffled by his skin.
"You've caught me."
He relishes in the laugh that leaves your lips, and he places the gentlest of kisses on the side of your head, which prompts you to lift it to look at him again. 
"You're not a loser for not drinking," you say, and his lips pull into a smile. 
He leans his head up, brushing his lips against yours, despite the mix of mint toothpaste and alcohol on your tongue. "I know. You wouldn't be either."
"I know."
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡
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monimccoythings · 2 days ago
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How the other X-Men (97') would react to Logan's crush
I need more X-Men 97's Logan. Mostly Pre-established relationship. Just some rambles about some of the other X-men reacting to your mutual crushes because they are all a big family of busybodies lol.
tag: gender neutral reader (mostly)
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You didn't have the best first meeting. You had accidentally drank the last of Logan's beers, and the burning anger in his eyes would take time to forget. You had felt so guilty afterwards that the next day he found a crate of imported beer in his bedroom.
When he first started developing a crush on you, Morph liked to tease him changing into you in different forms of suggestive positions wearing all kind of revealing lingerie, which made him blush. Hard. He tried to act all though pulling his claws out threateningly, but it was difficult to take him seriously when he was as red as a tomato.
He wasn't sure what started that crush, he guessed he started developing it without noticing. Maybe it was your good looks, your kind nature, your bright smile; who knew, but something about you drove him to you like a moth to a flame.
Ar first, Logan would be a bit conflicted due to his deeply rooted feelings for Jean. He felt like he was betraying her in some way, despite Jean being married to Scott. Unbeknowst to him, Jean, is one of the main supporters of his relationship with you and is always hijacking with Storm some way for you two to be together. Once, she got tired of your antics and practically psychically shoved you against him.
Storm is the chillest about it, unlike the overly enthusiastic Jean. She is very patient, she knows you'll end up together one way or another. She just has to wait. She still joins Jeans shenanigans because it's really fun.
Scott is more protective of you in a big brother way. He initially doesn't like that Logan has taken an interest in someone he had always seen as a little sibling. He knows how Logan can get, and how much he had pinned after Jean. He doesn't want him to hurt you, it would take a real genuine proof of his love for you to convince him. And something small wouldn't do, it has to be this big grand selfless gesture for him to actually believe it.
Charles, unlike Scott, thinks that you and Logan are a great match. You seem to bring the best out of each other. You calm Logan's never ending rage and Logan encourages you to be more bold and come out of your shell. You are like two puzzle pieces, you fit perfectly together.
Rogue is constantly teasing you about Logan. She has noticed how he gets more awkward when you're around, how he doesn't snark at you as much as he usually does to the others. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was being shy.
Remy is the one usually trying to give Logan advice on how to properly woo you, which usually goes ignored because of Logan's own pride and refusal to admit he has it deep for you.
Jubilee is a die-hard shipper. She gave you the most ridiculous ship name. Logan hates it. She, Storm, Remy, Rogue and Jean, usually meet up to discuss about you two like a bunch of teens. This is literally them on each meeting:
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When you finally stop dancing around each other and start dating, he finds he's unable to keep his hands to himself. Watching you make breakfast, humming to yourself in an oversized T-Shirt and booty shorts that perfectly clinged to every delicious curve of your juicy ass like a second skin, put all of Logan's already thin self-control to test. Missions surveys get really awkward if he's seated next to you, his hand always finds its way to your thigh. Hank joked that he should give him 'the talk', which he took it as well as expected.
Roberto is the one who thinks 'what the hell do they see in him??'. He doesn't get how someone as cultured and kind as yourself would ever get interested in a caveman like Logan. But he keeps his thoughts to himself because he'd rather keep his head on his shoulders.
Logan may not know what started his crush, but he sure as hell knows when he realised he loved you. It wasn't a great sacrifice or something epic as anybody would expect. He just saw you doing the most mundane thing in the world, be it painting your nails, taking care of the garden, or getting to the best part of a book you've been reading. The second he saw that glint in your eyes and that joyful expression, he just knew.
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xremus-is-deadx · 2 days ago
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Arcane s2 talk
Ignoring everything that happens in episode 3 except the kiss is my way of coping until next week. Then I can guarantee you my coping mechanism next week will just be being in love with Vi, call it delusional, I call it smart
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starberry-cupcake · 3 days ago
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Welcome back!! I hope you're doing well and, if not, I hope my silly ramblings can make your day somewhat better, like the wildcats used to say: we're all in this together ♥
previously, in harrowcita del 9:
this happened
for those of you recently tuning in, this is the tag of all the ramblings
also, I'm officially in the sixth house now, palmolive can't stop me
CHAPTER 46
we're back inside the emperor's bolthole, which is infested
this is what happens when you have a lyctor orgy without the proper protection
gideon is doing her very best to fight the infestation of herald bees swarming and attacking her
she's in harrow's feeble small kitten baby body, so she's dying a lot
I'm gonna try to represent this visually
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gideon keeps apologizing to harrow for getting her bits chewed off and her insides pouring out
and puts emphasis on things she wants harrow to remember
"I saw it eat your thumb—these details are important, so keep up with me—and your thumb was back in the next half minute"
"Child, that bee smashed you"
"I touched your intestines, which is usually what, fourth date"
me:
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so, gideon takes off harrow's excess bones, which are no use to her, and goes further into the emperor's infested bolthole, where she finds mercygirl
mercygirl thinks gideon is harrow at first and, turns out, she was the one who stabbed her
these lyctors istg
can't trust any of them
mercygirl thinks harrow should be grateful that she stabbed her
and she was aware that harrow had "stuffed the soul of the cavalier in the back of her brain"
NOW WE'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME TERRITORY THAT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY BERSERK, SO BEAR WITH ME
I NEED TO GET MY NOTES BACK FROM MY PREVIOUS RECAPS FOR THIS
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she asks what happened with gideon's eyes and, as we have seen in the previous gideon-centric chapter, gideon's eyes are in harrow's face atm, if memory serves
"You're not her—she isn't driving you—but you have her eyes. Why? When they showed me your corpse I didn't think to check the eyes"
"I thought I knew what you were, though I didn't want to believe it..."
now listen, we're starting to tie some loose ends and some of those loose ends are linked very closely to my previous theories
I have been considering the Commander Wake is Gideon's Mom and Has a Personal Connection To Gideon The First and Is The One Connected With The Harrow Notes In Canaan AU for a while now
I need to link the specific recaps where I said this because I need to be transparent about where my brain was at
Evidence A, Evidence B, Evidence C, Evidence D
there's probably more but those are pretty clear
I swear to god if I was right about this I'm gonna screencap my own recap and put it here when the time comes
I've been marinating this one for months
I actually forgot how much of that I had written down in the recaps until I re-read them
mercygirl says that she thought the commander was a bad girl workaholic who put business before family, that she made her "the dolls" and she must have "played silly buggers with the emission" and that "gideon was on her tail"
"And then Gideon ruined everything. Then the commander ruined everything. Then you ruined everything. This could have been over eighteen years ago"
apparently gideon the first was "obsessed" with the commander, which accounts for some of the notes harrow read
I'LL GET BACK TO THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE SLEEPER, MY THEORIES CONTINUE
mercygirl starts calling gideon all sorts of names, including mutant, and keeps being bothered about her eyes
"Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us...and you are all the proof I needed" "Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you"
is gideon the first gideon's dad??????? I mean, I always though he might have Something with the mom but my money was on gideon being made through science rather than Traditional Means
I mean, having lyctor genes in some way would account for gideon being a demigod, something I said with those words when I was reading gideon
also, remember when not!dulcinea told gideon she was prettier than the other gideon?? because I've never forgotten
mercygirl confirms that gideon the first was sent to kill gideon's mom
who, according to mercygirl, would have hated to be called a mom
mamá luchona intensifies
all of which aligns with my theory very nicely so far
she calls gideon more names, including "abomination, you heresy, you failed ambition nineteen years too late"
gideon reacts not wanting mercygirl to touch her instinctively
man, my theories are RIGHT THERE to be fully connected I'm BITING THE DESK
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but there's no time for any more talk because mercygirl is trying to kill gideon in harrow's body
but she is stopped
she is shot
by not!dulcinea
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but I don't think this is not!dulcinea, I previously mentioned her maybe being used by someone, not sure if it's possession or being used or what's going on but I don't think this is her
I thought about gideon the first being the one to do it but if he wanted harrow dead, I'm not sure he'd save gideon now
not!dulcinea says "with a tone that wasn't" hers: "goodbye"
gideon ends the chapter with "what the fuck is going on?"
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CHAPTER 47
we're back at canaan au and it's time to perform an exorcism
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harrow has a new note
I've been connecting those notes to gideon's mom possibly commander wake (as linked above)
the latest note continues to add to my theory
"end of the line. falling. oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload. instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am."
I still think this is gideon's mom because that's how she died, I mean, she got to the ninth in a suit without air and gideon still had some, allegedly
I've been thinking that one of the two people involved in the situationship triangle described in the notes was gideon the first, and that maybe the other was dr reverend emperor john
he's the most likely to be a bygone son of a bitch, so maybe I'm right
so, if harrow connects the notes with the spirit that's haunting her
and I'm connecting them to gideon's mom....
what if it's her that's haunting harrow?????
I mean, Waker
I NEED TO STOP GETTING INTO THEORY TANGENTS
anyway, all of the ghoulie ghostie friends are getting together for a sleepover exorcism
I didn't use this when I should have, back when the different aus were going by, but here it is
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real!dulcinea says "Pal always said I'd be the death of him. And I was..."
he died being a weenie but he's not all the way dead, so it's fine
harrow questions why everyone wants to help her but everyone's totally fine with all this, for different reasons
real!dulcinea is "horny for revenge" (that's a tshirt for the seventh girlies right there)
protozoa is there because duty is his full personality
abby is really grateful to be asked to help (she also really likes tombs, very lara croft of her)
magnus loves his wife
ortus wants a redemption arc and now has a polycule
martita is behaving better than judith
abby asks harrow if there's anything she can remember from the slasher waker sleeper to try to pinpoint who tf it is
there's a suit, blood, a gun and gideon's sword, which is the only thing harrowcita recognizes and doesn't know where it comes from
my money is on gideon's mom, commander wake, probably also the woman in the shuttle poster that harrow saw but didn't recognize back when she met camilla
I'M PUTTING MORE CHIPS IN MY BETS EVEN IF I GET NO MORE INFO RN
harrow is very interested in how abby and magnus make it work as a married couple who are also a necro and a cav
I wonder why she's so interested
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anyway, everything goes to shit on the exorcism
like, it goes really, really badly
group project off the rails bad
I mean, they didn't even have blood
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apparently the spirit is also tethered to an object out there (the sword??????? possibly?????)
and she (she's a SHE) is pretty much invincible and shooting everyone and performing parkour while she's at it
harrow says camilla would be impressed, which is the highest praise
the sleeper waker slasher potentially gideon's mom (but not sure because it hasn't been confirmed yet) calls harrow by her name, but in a way that sounds like she's never said it before
she says it like a curse, which maybe means she knows, to some degree, how harrow was made????
she's basically doing whatever she wants over here, shooting ghosts, punching ghosts, throwing them around, regenerating, not bleeding, pulling guns out of thin air
I mean, ok, we got it, calm down lady
where was this energy when it was time to kill the emperor
she says there's "no magic" there and that "she's been doing this for years"
she wants harrow, so she can kill her and use her body to "finish it"
WHICH MAYBE MEANS KILLING THE EMPEROR???
OH MAN I DO WANT THAT TO HAPPEN
BUT NOT AT THE COST OF HARROW
also, mrs potentially gideon's mom, even if harrow dies, there's also gideon in the body right now so, it's a bit crowded atm
maybe find another way to kill the emperor
use not!dulcinea instead, if you can get the current tenant to leave
the chapter ends with: "ortus cleared his throat"
MAN, I HOPE HE DROPS SOME POETRY LINES, WE SURELY NEED THAT
and that's it for today!!!!!things are certainly heating up in the emperor's bolthole!!!! see you soon for the next installment, fingers crossed for my theories!!!
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owlgirl495 · 1 day ago
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ok, so i know i rarely actually post my own words on here but with the last 911 episode i’ve been wanting to say something.
i’ve been reading a lot of what people have written (and i’ve added my own thoughts in the tags of many posts) but now that i’ve had time to process a little, see what others are saying, and talk to my irl friends about it a little, there’s one thing that i’ve only seen mentioned like once and i wanna talk about some more. more people have probably mentioned this and i just probably haven’t seen it and these thoughts are subject to change and all that but here we go:
it makes me really upset how little of buck and tommy’s relationship we actually got to see. and i know that they can’t focus on a side plot like that for a super long time and that it’s not the bucktommy show but i was actually okay with only getting scraps until the breakup and here’s kind of why.
they’ve been dating for six months. SIX MONTHS. and they seem to know NOTHING about each other. and i truly didn’t get this vibe until the last episode (8x06) and i think that’s why it feels so off for me.
at the end of season 7 they looked like they were really trying to get to know each other both on and off screen, they were talking about important things with each other, and actually trying to have real conversations. and then in season 8 there’s just none of that.
i didn’t think anything of it at first because i figured they just had those conversations off-screen in the FOUR MONTHS we didn’t see. but with 8x06 it truly feels like they didn’t have a single real conversation that we hadn’t seen.
8x06 shows us that they don’t know about each others’ exs at all, buck doesn’t know how tommy views his sexuality, tommy doesn’t know that buck hates basketball, so what exactly have they been talking about outside of the silly goofyness of 911 subplots for six months??
tbh i understand having them break up (i really wanted them to be endgame but i understand if that was never actually the plan) but the way they broke up felt so wrong.
i would’ve even understood if the real reason they had broken up was because after six months they realized that they don’t actually know anything about each other but even so, until 8x06, that was never indicated. they had a couple serious conversations with each other in season 7 and since there were no hints either way, i had assumed those had continued off-screen.
to have a well-liked couple with a decent amount of screen time break up without showing us pretty much any of the actual downfall of the relationship, giving what felt like a shoehorned in reason for the breakup, and only giving us last minute hints at the possible actual reason for the relationship ending feels shitty, if i’m being real.
i know it’s just a fictional show and it’s not that serious but this really hurt. i hate how much i let this get to me but i really let this show get my hopes up. it was my main form of escapism and something that consistently made me happy outside of things in my everyday life that have been stressing me out. i thought i could sink a little further into it after the results of the election but now it’s no longer the same form of comfort for me.
i’ll probably still continue watching the show and i absolutely adore all the people i’ve gotten to interact with (even in my really small way of interacting) through this fandom but 911 does feel a little tainted for me at the moment.
i’m probably missing some stuff here and a lot of this is just rambling but that’s it for now, i hope you are all doing okay and hanging on to whatever you can to make this a little easier <3
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zyafics-recs · 1 day ago
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
first and foremost, the color scheme for this series is GORGEOUS, the purple pairs well with the angst of the series and i’m so ready for it (also so proud that u learned how to get the gradient function!! ☺️)
secondly, how DARE u not tag me i am flabbergasted, heartbroken, overlooking the golden gate bridge rn
ANYWAYS, i have seven minutes before lecture starts so here’s my lousy and incoherent annotations below ⬇️
You’d always known Rafe wasn’t the easiest guy to love. He was complicated, angry, reckless—but so were you. And in some messed-up way, that’s why you two worked. Or at least, why you thought you did. You were just as stubborn, just as damaged. But now, as you sipped your drink and looked around, something felt off. Your gut was tight, and that nagging feeling that’d been growing restless under your skin since the breakup only grew stronger the longer you stood there.
i’m so ready to see how toxic this can get
You pushed yourself off the railing, discarding your drink on a table before moving through the crowd, past people you knew but didn’t bother with. Your mind was set on one thing—Rafe. You were done with the break. You had your space. It’s time to get back together. It was never even really a question. It was just the way things worked with you two.
love a reader who knows what she wants and goes after it
You only caught glimpses of empty rooms along the way. You hadn’t seen him since the break, and part of you didn’t want to admit how much that messed you up. How much he messed you up. Your steps slowed as you neared the hall that led to the back of the house, the sound of voices filtering through the air. You recognized some, laughed at the drunken ramblings, until one voice cut through the noise. Rafe’s.
oh god
You didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You told yourself you just needed to see him, just talk to him, tell him this break had gone on long enough, that you were done with the games. That’s when you heard it again—her laugh. It was light, flirtatious, the kind of laugh that made your stomach turn into a million different directions because you knew exactly what it meant.
my stomach is doing flips
She was smiling, laughing softly at something he’d said, her fingers brushing through her hair as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his hands move, tying the knot in her bikini with such gentle precision like he’d done it a thousand times. The kind of softness he used to have with you. And then he said it, his voice teasing, amused like this was some kind of inside joke between them.
"God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?"
i would need a gun
He laughed quietly, his lips brushing against Sofia’s shoulder as he tied the last knot, and the way he touched her—like she was something to be savored—sent a rush of pure, burning humiliation straight through your chest.
i would crash out so hard rn
After everything you’d been through together, after all the times you had to pull him out of his own darkness, after the nights spent in his arms when you thought you couldn’t breathe because your whole family was gone—after years of being his and him being yours—how the fuck could he move on when you’d been rotting away in self loathing for pushing him away?
SICKENING
Without a single warning. Not a text, not a stupid call, just pure indifference. No respect or regard for you. Nome of them. Everything you’d just seen replayed in your mind—Rafe, her, the way he touched her like she meant something to him.
i support women’s wrong to do mass destruction
With someone else. You pressed a hand to your stomach, your head hurting. The idea of Sofia, of Rafe being with someone else in ways that only you knew—ways that had always been yours—made you feel like you were being torn apart.
THIS IS MAKING ME UNBELIEVABLY SICK
You could still remember the night your life changed—the phone call, the horrible, gut-wrenching moment when you learned that your family’s private plane had gone down. Your parents. Your sister. Gone. Just like that. And Rafe had been the one to pull you through it. He was the one who had held you as you cried so hard you thought you were going to die, who sat with you in silence when you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, who stayed with you every single night because you were terrified to be alone in a haunted mansion that now felt like a mausoleum.
this paragraph is so beautifully-crafted i had to highlight it - okay back to our regularly scheduled program
A connection, a bond forged in shared pain, in the kind of trauma that no one else really got. Maybe that was why you were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was fucked up, but you couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding you the way Rafe did.
TOXICITY’S FINEST COUPLE
You could still feel the weight of his head on your shoulder that night, years ago, when his mom passed. The silent sobs that shook his body, the way he’d held onto you. That was the real Rafe—the one he hid from everyone else. The one who was lost and broken underneath all the anger. And you’d seen him, really seen him in ways no one else ever could. Not Sofia. Not anyone.
exactly he’s YOURS (mine…?)
His face twisted with frustration as he looked over his shoulder, something catching his attention. He started waving, yelling at someone, his voice cutting through the night, “Rafe! Dude, get over here!”
you fucking NARC
“God, what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice quavering as the words tumbled out. “Why the fuck am I crying over him? I shouldn’t be crying over him.” You slammed your palm against the steering wheel, angry, disgusted with yourself.
she’s so me
“Fuck,” you hissed, tears streaming down your face. Your throat burned as the memories came flooding back, memories of all the nights you’d spent together, of him holding you while you cried yourself to sleep, of the way he’d pulled you out of the gloom when you thought you’d never get back up again. You thought he’d always be that person for you, the one who understood your broken pieces because he had his own. You’d always fit together perfectly.
oh my god i fear i need her to do the best revenge arc
The sliding doors let out a grating beep as you entered, and the air inside was stale and heavy, reeking of floor cleaner and cheap perfume. You adjusted your grip on your purse, strutting past the aisles with your head high even though everything inside you felt like it was falling apart.
again, i’m always in awe of ur descriptions it makes me so giggly and excited to see how well u constructed ur setting
“I don’t know what the fuck that was but save the fucking dramatics, okay?”
should’ve bought a glock w those pregnancy tests - i would start TWEAKING so hard
💌 — this fic is BEAUTIFUL (ohmygod my professor arrived, let me make this QUICK) i absolutely love how u created this atmosphere of anger, resentment, desperation and neediness. because u captured the angst incredibly well, and how u built up to it—the aches, the emotions—were well-paced and made you feel everything on a deeper, more slowburn way. i also LOVE how the interconnectedness of how topper and rafe are best friends, and she’s his COUSIN, and how this man SNITCHED to rafe when she was driving away. i love-hate that scene bc it builds so much more tension, but i would be fucking pissed at topper. lastly, as always your descriptions are one of my favorite parts of your writing and i highlighted them for my annotations. so so PROUD of u for starting this series and i will make u complete even if its the last thing i do 🔪
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - ONE
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: none (angst)
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The bass from the speakers rattled the glass in your hand as you leaned against the porch railing, eyes scanning the backyard for him—Rafe.
It had been a long month.
Longer than you thought it would be. Usually, when you and Rafe had your little “breaks,” they lasted about a week, maybe two at most. It was always something stupid, a screaming match that ended with slammed doors and his truck peeling out of your driveway. But it never lasted. It couldn’t. You’d known each other too long, been through too much, and deep down, there was this unspoken truth—he’d always come back. Or, you would.
But this time was different.
This time, he wasn’t calling or showing up at your window in the middle of the night, eyes tired and sorry, pulling you into his arms. The space between you had been growing wider since his dad died. And sure, maybe it was your fault for what you said after Ward’s death—But it was the truth.
Still, you hadn’t expected him to shut you out completely. Two months. Two months of silence. And the only thing you’d heard about him since was through Ruthie, Topper’s new girlfriend, of all people. A random comment at Mase’s place—something about how Rafe had been hanging around some pogue girl named Sofia.
You’d rolled your eyes at that. Rafe? With some Pogue? Yeah, right. You’d pretended not to care when she tossed it out like it was nothing
You weren’t stupid.
You’d always known Rafe wasn’t the easiest guy to love. He was complicated, angry, reckless—but so were you. And in some messed-up way, that’s why you two worked. Or at least, why you thought you did. You were just as stubborn, just as damaged. But now, as you sipped your drink and looked around, something felt off. Your gut was tight, and that nagging feeling that’d been growing restless under your skin since the breakup only grew stronger the longer you stood there.
You pushed yourself off the railing, discarding your drink on a table before moving through the crowd, past people you knew but didn’t bother with. Your mind was set on one thing—Rafe. You were done with the break. You had your space. It’s time to get back together. It was never even really a question. It was just the way things worked with you two.
But then there was Ruthie—blocking your path, her wide smile dripping with the kind of smugness that set your teeth on edge. She looked like she was reveling in your misery and that little giggle she let out only made it worse.
"So glad you could make it!" she sang out, her voice too sweet, too bright. Her eyes flickered over you like she was sizing you up, taking stock of every inch of your perfectly put-together outfit.
You forced a smile, “Yeah, well, wouldn’t miss a party like this,” you said, keeping your tone casual.
You weren’t in the mood for whatever game she was playing.
“Oh, I just bet,” she replied, her smile growing wider. She stepped closer, her breath reeking of cheap wine, and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ruthie always drank too much at these things.
What the hell was her problem? She always acted like she knew something you didn’t, like she held the keys to all the dirty little secrets in Kildare, and she loved dangling them in front of people just to watch them squirm.
“Ruthie, I swear to God—” you began, but she cut you off, her grin widening.
“Oh, honey,” she cooed, her voice dripping with fake sympathy, “don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger. You should really be talking to Rafe about this.” She took a step back, still smiling, and glanced over her shoulder. “He’s around, you know. You can go find him yourself. See how cozy he’s gotten with her.”
You bit your tongue, jaw, forcing yourself to stay calm. She was trying to get under your skin, like the snake she’d always been. You couldn’t believe Top was lonely and horny enough to finally fall into her claws.
“Thanks for the tip,” you gave her a tight lipped grimace, brushing past her, didn’t try and wait for her reply.
You only caught glimpses of empty rooms along the way. You hadn’t seen him since the break, and part of you didn’t want to admit how much that messed you up. How much he messed you up. Your steps slowed as you neared the hall that led to the back of the house, the sound of voices filtering through the air. You recognized some, laughed at the drunken ramblings, until one voice cut through the noise. Rafe’s.
And then you heard hers. No fucking way.
You didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You told yourself you just needed to see him, just talk to him, tell him this break had gone on long enough, that you were done with the games. That’s when you heard it again—her laugh. It was light, flirtatious, the kind of laugh that made your stomach turn into a million different directions because you knew exactly what it meant.
She was there, with him.
You moved forward, the hallway barely lit as you reached the half-closed bathroom door. Your breath hitched, hands trembling as you peeked through the small crack, unable to stop yourself from looking.
There they were.
She was smiling, laughing softly at something he’d said, her fingers brushing through her hair as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his hands move, tying the knot in her bikini with such gentle precision like he’d done it a thousand times. The kind of softness he used to have with you. And then he said it, his voice teasing, amused like this was some kind of inside joke between them.
"God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?"
You froze.
He laughed quietly, his lips brushing against Sofia’s shoulder as he tied the last knot, and the way he touched her—like she was something to be savored—sent a rush of pure, burning humiliation straight through your chest.
You stumbled back, your heart pounding in your ears as Rafe’s words repeated over and over in your head. Landing right in my lap. What the fuck was this?
Your heart clenched, vision blurring as what you were seeing slammed right into you. You backed away, your hand flying to your mouth to stop the sob from escaping. But it didn’t help. Not even à little. The tears burned, and you turned quickly, practically running back through the house and out the door before anyone could see the humiliating mess you were becoming.
It was real. He moved on. In two fucking months.
That’s all it had taken for him to replace you. To be done with you. He was over you. Just like that.
After everything you’d been through together, after all the times you had to pull him out of his own darkness, after the nights spent in his arms when you thought you couldn’t breathe because your whole family was gone—after years of being his and him being yours—how the fuck could he move on when you’d been rotting away in self loathing for pushing him away?
Your head spun as you stumbled down the steps, out to the street where your car was parked. You couldn’t breathe. Your breaths were coming out too fast, too shallow, and your hands were shaking so hard you had to press them against your knees to hold yourself up.
What the hell was wrong with you? You hadn’t even had anything to drink.
But your stomach was rolling, twisting in knots so tight you could barely stand straight. You leaned against the side of your car, the cool metal grounding you to reality for a second before a wave of nausea hit, forcing you to double over and retch onto the pavement. Tears stung your eyes as you coughed, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
You felt dizzy, disgusted even, everything you thought you knew, everything you thought was yours, had been ripped out from under you.
Without a single warning. Not a text, not a stupid call, just pure indifference. No respect or regard for you. Nome of them. Everything you’d just seen replayed in your mind—Rafe, her, the way he touched her like she meant something to him.
“Look who’s still standing!” Topper’s voice. He was laughing as he strolled over, hands shoved in his pockets, that same carefree grin on his face that he always had at parties. “Jesus, what did you have to drink? You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”
Normally, you might have had something to say back, maybe a fiery insult or a roll of your eyes. But right now, everything felt like too much. You couldn’t say a word. You could barely breathe.
Your cousin stopped beside you, his grin dropping as he finally looked at you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He leaned down, trying to catch your eyes. “You good? You look kinda—"
You cut him off, the question was heavy, like a lump lodged in your throat. “Did you know?”
He blinked, the confusion spreading across his face. “Know what?”
You swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest as you forced the words out, your voice shaking. “About Rafe and Sofia.”
You hated saying her name.
Hated that you’d been forced to know it by heart. Topper’s smile dropped, his expression changing.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to, you knew him well enough to read his micro expressions. You clenched your fists, it felt like you were the only one in the island who’d been let out of the secret.
Surely, your friends, your only family would’ve told you something right? It’s not like you were on a remote island away from them. You’d spent the last month in New York, not in the fucking jungle. You visited occasionally. You were a call away.
“Did everyone fucking know?”
Topper exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, we didn’t think it was serious. You know how it is with you two—you’ve done this before. Played with other people…”
Played with other people. Like you and Rafe were just some game, a revolving door of heartbreak and hookups. It didn’t make sense. You’d always known how it worked, understood how these things went—sure, you’d had your minor flings, and he’d had his, but it was never real.
You stumbled back, feeling like you might collapse. “Oh my God, I’m going to be sick again.”
He reached out, obviously concerned since he hadn’t seen you in this desperate state in years, “Hey, hey, calm down. Look, it’s not like it means anything. Rafe’s just—he’s going through a lot with his dad dying, and he… he’s just messing around. You know how he gets.”
But the words did nothing to soothe you. They only made it worse—how everyone knew. How they’d all watched Rafe move on, while you were stuck, still reeling from the breakup, thinking he’d come back like he always did. And he was just out there, with her.
With someone else. You pressed a hand to your stomach, your head hurting. The idea of Sofia, of Rafe being with someone else in ways that only you knew—ways that had always been yours—made you feel like you were being torn apart.
Topper was still talking, still trying to rationalize it, but his words were like static now, blending into the noise of the party behind you. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he was saying. “You know how it goes. You always end up back together. He’s just doing whatever to distract himself.”
That word. Distract himself. Like your entire relationship could be boiled down to that—a series of distractions until you decided to come back to each other, to pick up the pieces and pretend everything was okay.
You could still remember the night your life changed—the phone call, the horrible, gut-wrenching moment when you learned that your family’s private plane had gone down. Your parents. Your sister. Gone. Just like that. And Rafe had been the one to pull you through it. He was the one who had held you as you cried so hard you thought you were going to die, who sat with you in silence when you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, who stayed with you every single night because you were terrified to be alone in a haunted mansion that now felt like a mausoleum.
You had been seventeen, and losing them all at once had killed something inside of you. But he was there. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but he knew what it was like to grieve.
He knew loss. He understood. Because you’d been there for him two years earlier, when his mom lost her battle to cancer. You could still see the look in his eyes that day—fourteen years old and already drowning in so much anger and sadness, like the world had ripped something essential out of him.
The way he cried at her funeral when he thought no one was watching, and you’d found him, sat beside him in the cold, letting him cry without saying a word. You hadn’t started dating yet, hadn’t crossed that line, but something had changed between you two in those moments.
A connection, a bond forged in shared pain, in the kind of trauma that no one else really got. Maybe that was why you were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was fucked up, but you couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding you the way Rafe did.
How could it all come down to this? To you standing here, feeling like the world was ending while he moved on, laughing and touching someone else like nothing you had ever been through mattered?
Was that it? Did that one moment, that one argument about Ward, erase everything you’d done for him?
All the times you’d been there, the way you had comforted him when he felt like his life was spiraling? You remembered exactly what you’d said a month after the funeral, when your boyfriend blamed everyone but Ward for his own death. "He wasn’t a good person, baby. I know he was your dad, but you can’t pretend like he didn’t fuck you up."
You hadn’t even said it to hurt him, not really. It was just the truth. Ward had been a terrible father, controlling and manipulative, and you’d spent years watching Rafe try to live up to some impossible standard, chasing his father’s approval like it would ever be enough. But that didn’t make it easier for him to hear. You should have known better. You should have known how raw he was after losing his dad, how complicated his feelings were.
But instead, you’d been brutal. Honest, but brutal.
And now, two months later, here you were—staring at the empty street, wondering if you’d pushed him too far. If that one moment of honesty was enough to make him forget everything else. Now you were just the ex, the crazy one who didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.
“Fuck, why did I say that?” you whispered to yourself, voice shaking. Why couldn’t you have just let it go?
But then another clarity of anger took over you, pushing away the guilt that had been building inside. So you’d been too harsh about Ward. So you’d said what everyone else had been too scared to say. It wasn’t like you’d been wrong. Ward had messed Rafe up.
Everyone knew it. He knew it, deep down.
You gritted your teeth, staring out at the dark street, the low hum of the party still buzzing faintly behind you. You were never going to get that picture out of your head. Like they hadn’t just met, like you hadn’t spent years learning how to calm Rafe when he spiraled, how to hold him together when he couldn’t hold himself.
Your chest tightened again, a bitter taste rising in your throat.
You could still feel the weight of his head on your shoulder that night, years ago, when his mom passed. The silent sobs that shook his body, the way he’d held onto you. That was the real Rafe—the one he hid from everyone else. The one who was lost and broken underneath all the anger. And you’d seen him, really seen him in ways no one else ever could. Not Sofia. Not anyone.
"Look, you're emotional, okay? I get it. Maybe it's that time of the month or something. You know how you always get when your hormones go crazy."
The words got to you, but not in the way he probably thought they would. At first, it pissed you off, like it always did when people tried to downplay your emotions. Everyone always said you felt too much. That you were out of control.
But then…
You stopped moving, blinking rapidly as his words spiraled around in your brain. ‘Time of the month’, he'd said.
Your heart started doing summersaults, your stomach dropping as the idea settled in. You grabbed your phone, hands trembling like leaves as you opened the calendar app. You scrolled, trying to think, trying to remember when you’d last…fuck.
You hadn’t had your period in… so long.
Almost two months. No. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of fucked up joke.
You felt light-headed as you reached for your car again, your body shaking so badly you could barely stand against the door. "Shit."
How could you not have noticed?
Topper noticed the change in you instantly, his brow furrowing. "What’s wrong with you?" he asked, his tone softening a little. "You okay?"
You couldn’t even form a sentence. Your brain was too full of what-ifs. Two months late.
You hadn't even thought about it until now—everything had taken so much space in your head that you hadn't noticed the most obvious sign. This wasn’t possible. Your hand flew to your stomach, almost instinctively. You had no idea what to do with the panic creeping up your throat.
“Shit,” You hissed, this time louder, trying to push the growing dread down. But it wouldn't go away.
He was still staring at you, “What? What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
But you were already backing away, shaking your head, “I—I need to go,” You mumbled, barely hearing yourself.
Your cousin moved quickly to block your path as you tried to make your way toward the door. That kind of protective streak only made you want to shove past him even more.
"You’re not driving in this state." he warned you, voice firm, his hands up like he was trying to physically stop you.
You just glared at him, “Fucking watch me.”
He didn’t budge. "You get in that car and I'm calling Rafe," he said, sounding dead serious.
You couldn’t believe it. Your head was already spinning, and he was trying to guilt-trip you like this was some kind of helpful thing to do? You threw your hands up in frustration, voice rising, cracking. "He’s too busy fucking Sofia. Knock yourself out."
The words felt like venom in your mouth, the bitterness rolling off your tongue. You didn’t care how harsh they sounded. You didn’t care about anything anymore except getting away from this suffocating stupid place. Before he could say anything else, you made your move. You pushed past him with all your strength, chest hurting with the urge to feel something other than this suffocating mess of emotions and confusion.
Your hands shook as you fumbled for your keys. You managed to unlock the door, sliding into the driver’s seat, the cool leather biting into your skin.
You needed to think. But all you could think about was that one, terrifying realization: you might be pregnant.
Your breath hitched, terror swirling around your chest. The calendar app was still open on your phone, the dates staring back at you like a flashing red warning sign, daring you to confront the truth you’d been ignoring. Two months. Two months without a period. And you hadn’t even noticed. You pressed a hand to your stomach again, heart pounding as if it was trying to escape your chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not like this.
You weren’t thinking clearly—shit, you weren’t thinking at all, but you couldn’t stay here. Not with Topper trying to baby you, not with him out there, living his best life like you didn’t even exist.
You turned the key, the engine roaring to life, and just as you gripped the wheel, ready to peel out of the driveway, Topper bolted in front of the car, planting himself right there like some kind of human roadblock. Fucking idiot. His arms were stretched out wide, like he could somehow stop you by sheer willpower.
“You’re not doing this, I swear to God, you’re not!” he yelled, his voice frantic, echoing off the dark street. He looked panicked, pleading even, like he was convinced you’d actually go through with it.
You gritted your teeth, eyes narrowing on him through the windshield. “Top, I swear, you have three seconds before I run you over.”
“Are you serious right now?” he yelled, his voice cracking with disbelief. But he didn’t move. “You think I’m letting you drive like this? You’re out of your fuckin’ mind!”
Your fingers gripping the wheel so hard it hurt. You weren’t bluffing. You were too wound up, too out of control. The only thing keeping you from flooring him was the fact that, deep down, you knew your cousin didn’t deserve it.
You just needed to get out of here.
“Move!” you screamed, “I’m not joking’, Topper. Get the fuck out of my way!”
His face twisted with frustration as he looked over his shoulder, something catching his attention. He started waving, yelling at someone, his voice cutting through the night, “Rafe! Dude, get over here!”
Your brain stopped. It was like everything had been sucked out of you. Your hands froze on the wheel, your entire body locking up as you looked to your right and saw him—Rafe. Right there in the yard.
And she was with him. He had his arm draped around her casually, like she belonged there.
Like he belonged there, just standing in the open, so stupidly comfortable in his new life. His head turned when he heard Topper call out, and your eyes locked for a less than a second. A moment too long. A moment that broke something inside you.
While Topper was distracted, his attention on Rafe, you made your move. You slammed your foot on the gas, tires screeching as the car lurched forward, swerving just enough to dodge Topper’s stunned figure. You heard him yell after you, but his voice faded into the background noise as you sped away.
You didn’t look back. Not at Top, not at Rafe.
The only thing you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else. You hated this. Hated that you were crying. Hated that you’d let yourself get to this point.
“God, what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice quavering as the words tumbled out. “Why the fuck am I crying over him? I shouldn’t be crying over him.” You slammed your palm against the steering wheel, angry, disgusted with yourself.
You’d told yourself you were stronger than this—that after everything you’d been through, you didn’t need him or anyone else. But here you were, falling apart like some pathetic excuse of a mess because of him. Because he had always been there, hadn’t he? After the crash, after you lost everything, he was the one constant, the one person who kept you from completely losing it. You’d relied on him so much. Too much.
“Fuck,” you hissed, tears streaming down your face. Your throat burned as the memories came flooding back, memories of all the nights you’d spent together, of him holding you while you cried yourself to sleep, of the way he’d pulled you out of the gloom when you thought you’d never get back up again. You thought he’d always be that person for you, the one who understood your broken pieces because he had his own. You’d always fit together perfectly.
You pulled into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore, your hands still shaking as you put the car in park. The tears had dried up on the drive over, replaced by a cold determination. You didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to even think about what you were about to do.
The moment you stepped out of your car and into the harsh fluorescent lighting of the drugstore, you felt completely out of place—like a stranger in your own skin. You hadn’t even thought about how ridiculous you must’ve looked until you caught your reflection in one of the store’s glass windows. Your hair, still perfect from earlier, framed your face in soft waves, and your makeup was flawless, despite the crying. The designer dress you were wearing—sleek, red, and worth more than half the shit in this store—with its sticky floors and white lights, it made you feel like an alien. Like you didn’t belong.
You caught the eyes of a couple of people loitering outside the entrance as you walked in, their stares lingering a little too long, murmuring to each other behind smirks. You knew they were talking about you. They always did, kook queen, overdressed, out of touch, bitch, whatever they wanted to call you.
The sliding doors let out a grating beep as you entered, and the air inside was stale and heavy, reeking of floor cleaner and cheap perfume. You adjusted your grip on your purse, strutting past the aisles with your head high even though everything inside you felt like it was falling apart.
You always did this—dressed to kill, head up, like armor. But there was no real glamour in buying pregnancy tests from some random pharmacy in the middle of the night. No way to mask the deep, growing hysteria in your bones.
The girl behind the register clocked you the second you stepped up to the counter, her eyes dragging over your like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. You could almost hear her thoughts: What the hell is someone like you doing here?
You didn’t even look at her. You just wanted to pay and leave without a scene. But of course, people always found a way to make things worse. She hesitated before scanning the tests, looking like she might say something. For her own good, you prayed she didn’t.
You threw the money on the counter before she could open her mouth, two crisp hundreds on top of the total. The cash hit the counter with a sharp thwap and you gave her the bitchiest look you could muster. “Take it. Keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She swallowed hard, her hand trembling as she slid the bills into the register. You didn’t care that she was young or nervous. You weren’t here to make friends. You weren’t here for anyone’s sympathy. The extra money would make sure she didn’t talk, that was all that mattered.
You walked out, your heels clicking against the linoleum, head high, even though every nerve in your body screamed for you to disappear. You slid into your truck, slamming the door shut, the silence finally hitting you. For all the designer clothes, the makeup, the money—none of it meant shit right now. You felt so small. So scared. Terribly lonely.
You sat there for what felt like forever, staring at the stupid bag in the passenger seat like it had the power to ruin your whole life—which, to be fair, it kind of did. You didn’t know what the fuck you were going to do. Not about any of it.
Your foot tapped nervously against the floor mat, the sound too loud in the quiet car. The bag crinkled as you glanced at it again, your stomach twisting all over again. A bunch of pregnancy tests. How had it come to this?
Rafe. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to think about him, not to picture his face when he found out. If he found out. Shit, what the hell was he going to do? He was with Sofia now, right? So was this going to ruin his life too? Did he even deserve to know?
It was probably nothing, you told yourself. Maybe the separation anxiety had gotten to you. Maybe your body was just fucked up from all the stress. Maybe your period was just late because you’d been so all over the place lately. There could be a million reasons. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it wasn’t nothing.
You didn’t want to cry anymore. Not after all of this. Not over Rafe. Not over your life turning into some fucking soap opera you didn’t even want to be a part of.
The second you were inside your house, the walls closed in around you. Your perfectly decorated place—the one you’d spent so much time making into a refuge, an escape—it didn’t feel like that anymore. Every designer pillow, every carefully chosen piece of art, mocking you.
Your phone buzzed in your bag, you reached for it. Of course, it was Rafe.
“I don’t know what the fuck that was but save the fucking dramatics, okay?”
The nerve. The fucking nerve of him to act like he was the center of your universe, acting like you were some inconvenience. Months of silence and this was the first thing he decided to text you? Knowing how much you despised when people called you a drama queen? Fucking piece of shit.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, a thousand different responses running through your mind. You wanted to tell him to shove something up his ass. But you did the only thing that felt right in that moment.
You blocked him. You stared at your phone, half expecting it to buzz again, half dreading that it wouldn’t. It was done. You cut him off, at least in that tiny, virtual way. You sat there for a minute, gripping the phone, trying to remember how to breathe.
This was supposed to feel empowering, right? You told yourself it would. That cutting him out would help you get back some control. But your mind wouldn’t settle. Those damn pregnancy tests were sitting in the bag next to you.
You were tired.
Exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with how late it was or how emotionally spent you were. You kicked off your heels, letting them clatter against the hardwood floor as you sank into the plush couch. Your house felt cold and unwelcoming tonight. Like a showroom. No comfort to be found. Not here, not in the muted tones of beige and white. Not in the sleek lines of furniture that were supposed to exude elegance and sophistication.
Maybe tomorrow you’d feel differently.
Maybe you’d wake up with a clear head, ready to take the stupid tests. Maybe you’d be strong again like you’d been so many times before.
Tonight, you were just tired. You leaned back against the cushions, closing your eyes for a moment, willing the noise in your head to quiet down. Sleep. That’s what you needed. Just a few hours to clear your mind, and in the morning, you’d deal with everything.
All of this would go away.
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ppumeonae-bigvibe · 17 hours ago
Text
sugar, spice and everything nice!
↖ navigation: ateez masterlist || main masterlist 
pairing: pining! barista wooyoung x gn! customer reader
tags: when i was writing this i was thinking to myself, "hear me out -wooyoung as the local cafe barista who has a massive crush on you, him being so so delusional about it", and then i decided to roll with because i can write about that so please enjoy! <3
summary: wooyoung's a barista, you're a (his) regular and he thinks this is his chance at a cafe slow-burn romance.
word count: 1.6k words
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+ 1
"what can i get started for you today?" wooyoung monotonously greets like clockwork, fingers hovered over the touchscreen.
"what would you recommend?" he lifts his eyes to meet your inquisitive ones. pointing to the chalkboard, wooyoung replied flippantly, "these are our cafe's specialties." your eyebrows furrowed, repeating, "i know. what would you recommend?"
he paused in his tracks, much like a dear in headlights, "uh..." his face burns from the focused stare you had pinned on him. unsure, he rambles, "everything's...delicious! my favorite is the latte paired with the apple crumble pie." this time round, wooyoung takes a proper look at you.
you're pretty cute, he observed, hands idly fiddling with the cloth tucked in the pocket of his apron.
"okay. i'll have that." he enters your (his) order, and hands you a receipt, directing you to the pickup counter as he prepares your items.
when he finally hands over your items, you sheepishly apologized, "sorry if i had troubled you earlier. i didn't know what to get since it is my first time here." wooyoung found it difficult to be mad, "oh...it's no problem at all. i can assure you that everything here is good."
"thanks so much, uhm...wooyoung." you glanced down at his nametag and then back up to express your gratitude. as you picked up your items, he nods and responds out of habit, "come by again!"
+ 2
wooyoung leans his weight against the counter, phone in his hand as he goes on about his day, "—yeah and i was saying...oh! wait."
his voice dies down when he hears the bell ring, thinking it was another customer. but as soon as his gaze lands on you, a confident smile replaces the nonchalant expression he once had.
"catch you in a bit, my favorite person is here." he ends the call, not bothering to hear his friend's complaint. you were one of his frequent customers, and also someone he's taken interest in. a little bit too much interest in though, ever since his first chance meeting with you. you have been coming in at least once or twice a week, and each time his heart soars when you're around.
"hey sweetheart, anything i can get for ya?" he props his head up with his hand, eyes never leaving you as you scrutinize the chalkboard menu, "sweetheart...is that a new nickname? i bet you call everyone sweetheart, right wooyoung?"
"nah, only for you." he assures, and he jumps when he sees the sides of your mouth twitch upwards—no doubt holding back a grin. you rattle off your order, something he also knew by heart. this special order wasn't written on the menu, but something he had went out of his way to make for you, lying about a "secret" menu that only a few people (read: only you) knew.
"do you want anything else to go with that order? for you, it's on the house!" he gestured to the pastries at the display shelf and you teased, "are you sure about that? you're going to make a loss at this rate."
true, he was always offering to gift you a free pastry with your drink. not that it mattered because he'd gladly cover the cost with his salary just to see you smile.
"of course not. there wasn't much business today." a lie.
"and also, who else is going to taste my efforts?" partly the truth.
"i want to give one to you to cheer you on." absolute truth.
you relented, shaking your head, "okay, okay. you can pick one for me." he nearly swoons at the sight of you beaming at him, "of course." wooyoung prepares your order—making small talk with you—his silly smile never once disappeared in your presence.
"here you go." he hands them over to you, nearly dropping the items when your fingers brushed over his to collect your order. "thanks a bunch! i'll get going."
"bye...see you again!" he precariously leans over the counter, neck craning as you walked off. he sighs dreamily before having a "reality check" when another customer not-so-subtly coughs a distance away from him.
"sorry, what can i get for you today?"
+ 3
wooyoung checks his appearance against the reflection of the fridge by the back of the store, donning his apron on before stepping out. almost immediately, butterflies erupted in his chest when he spots you typing away on your laptop.
"hey." he smoothly greets you. you were seated at your usual space near the counter, a cup of tea beside you.
seems like today was a "no-procrastination day", judging from how your teapot was completely close to empty.
you raised your eyes to meet his, "hello! did you just start work?" he excitedly nods, then schools his expression not a second later, "yeah. need a refill?" he juts out his chin and you sighed, "yeah. your colleague had boiled the water a couple of times for me already."
so you've been here for a while now, wooyoung chews the inside of his cheeks to hide a triumphant smile. moving automatically, he grabs the hot kettle, "don't worry, i'll reheat your teabag as many times as you request me to." you beamed at him, "that would be nice."
"anything for you."
the next few hours passed by in a flash, yet the constant reminder that you were still sat there a great encouragement for wooyoung as he pushes through the dinner rush. as the last bit of the dinner crowd titters away, wooyoung makes his way to stand behind the counter to rest, standing opposite you. the empty dinner plate on your left made him smile knowing you were being fed well by him.
"how's it going?"
you hummed, "not bad! i think i'll go home and rest for a bit before i pull an all-nighter to complete this manuscript." wooyoung makes a face, "again?" you hid your chuckles behind your palm, "what do you mean 'again'? i swear i don't stay up late often."
"everytime you come here and stay here for nearly the whole day, you're most definitely pulling an all-nighter." he holds up a finger, as if to prove a point. "and secondly, you're drinking tea. because if you chugged coffee the whole day you'd be holed up in the toilet instead of doing your work." flabbergast at his statement, you reached over to playfully whack him, "wooyoung! how could you!"
he laughs, shoulders shaking and hands clutched over his stomach, "it's the truth!" you pouted, "you're too much...you didn't have to announce it to the world!"
wooyoung easily balances your plate and teapot on one hand, "i'm gonna be closing up soon, in about 30 minutes. will you be...making a move?"
your eyes comically widened, "it's that late?" a flick of your wrist shows the time on your watch, an amused wooyoung watching you.
"yeah, it is. you might as well wait till i finish clearing up and i'll send you to a bus stop or subway station," he offered, hoping he didn't sound too eager. "oh! that would be nice of you actually. is it alright?" you clasped your hands in front of you, a sparkle lighting up your eyes.
"of course."
+ 4
"are you closing?"
wooyoung had his back facing the door and he holds back a groan from the question. of course we're closing, he grumbles, the neon sign is already switched off and...
his thoughts trailed off when he spots you sheepishly standing by the door.
"what are you doing here this late?" wooyoung blurts out and you rubbed your neck nervously, "i was...craving an ice americano and also a..."
"let me guess. an apple crumble pie?" he teases, pretending to think hard about it. "exactly that." you levelled your gaze to meet his, eyes twinkling. but not a moment later you shook your head, "but if you're closing i'll go—"
"how about i see what i can do for you?" the moment the sparkle in your eyes seemed to light up brighter, wooyoung thinks he'd better remember this moment for the rest of his life. he ushers you in, "you know, i realized you haven't been passing by here lately. i'm going to have to extend my working hours if you only appear at this time of the day. it's not good for my business."
"hey...! i've been busy, okay?" you huffed and wooyoung just laughs, "i'm kidding. business has been great too, since it's the holiday season more people have been coming in to try our limited time menu." he bustles around the counters, making your request all while you peered over to state at him.
you mused, "you don't sound happy about this good news." he smirked, playful tone lacing his words, "clearly, because i haven't been seeing you around." the oven dings behind him and he pulls out the tray.
"that doesn't look like an apple crumble." setting down the tray before you, he slides your drink up next to it as your confusion settled in.
"ice americano this late isn't good for your stomach. and we also ran out of apple pies so, i made you hot cocoa and reheated some of the milk bread i made just now."
a second passed and wooyoung was afraid he did something wrong. "is...it not to your liking? i should have—" "—no! no, i'm just touched that you'd go out of your way to do something like that."
wooyoung's triumphant smile stretched wide on his face, "then, please enjoy while i clean up the store."
in comfortable silence, you had your supper while he tidied up like clockwork: mopping the floors, putting away utensils, straightening tables and chairs and not to forget, glancing at you as you happily ate.
"how much is this?" you fished out your wallet and wooyoung was quick to grab it from you, "nuh uh. this one's on me. you don't owe me anything." arms coming to cross in front of you, you pouted, "fine, then how can i repay you?"
"let's go on a date. you can pay me back then."
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@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3
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multiisketch · 3 days ago
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hi! idk if you'll see this but i just wanted to say thank you for creating sonic boom revisited. i love fan comics but it's been rare that i've gotten to keep up with a weekly one (i usually find them long after they've been completed. in a weird way it's given me something to look forward to every week, especially when several of those weeks i unfortunately spent being super depressed. i think creating and consuming art is a great thing to stay alive for, so once again thank you. in order to properly give back the joy, i would love to create fanart eventually when my skills, emotions, and time management allow (and i'll be sure to tag you!)
i think this comic in particular is also special to me becus sonic boom is actually in my top 10 fav shows (lowkey sounds stupid out loud but listen i enjoy simple humor like that 😭). i always watch it when i'm feeling down. i also thought the short lived comic series was very unique and creative (as someone who has deep dived into archie that's sayin a lot lol), so i always wished there was some way to continue its legacy; and now there is! anyways sorry if that was a lotta rambling (it's what i do best) but i just want to share that message with you <3
There is so much pure feeling that is bubbling up inside me right now, Forte. From the bottom of my heart, thank YOU. It means so much to hear my work has touched you so deeply. I think most creators will tell you the desire to fuel others creative spark is THE reason they started creating art in the first place.
Sonic Boom is one of my favorite shows, too, so don't feel bad! In a world that takes itself so seriously right now, we all need some light-hearted fun. All I can hope for is that Sonic Boom Revisited can carry on the mantel in a way that feels true and respectful to its source!
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samcaarter · 14 hours ago
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so i've been thinking about this for the past 24 hours and i have one (1) thought (sorry for rambling and for hijacking the post, i'd have left this in the tags but there's a picture i wanted to include)
like we know that part (most?) of his journey is accepting that he's more, really accepting it. but right this moment he is terrified. he did kinda fuck up. he can only offer his company and he has no idea if it's what the player wants, he is bracing for the worst because that's all that's ever happened
but i want to mention the other path, the one that leads to his fears being CONFIRMED that what he can freely offer to the player without hurting himself is NOT enough. when the player confirms that they wanted to just have some fun and not deal with his issues and trauma
"yes, i suppose there's not much point to me if i won't have sex. my only talent, i'm fully aware"
he hopes
when he lays it all out in the open he hopes, he wants so desperately to be proven wrong. that everyone and everything that hurt him before and told him he's nothing, he's worthless, he's a tool, a means to an end, an object to be consumed and spat out and discarded, that they were wrong. that it's not true. that he's wrong to have ever believed it (and oh it's so hard not to believe it even if rationally you know it can't be true, it mustn't be true, right?)
that the first person who seems different IS different
and then, with the good path, tav validates his hope. he's not out of the dark woods, not yet, by far, but now he has a lantern and a hand to hold
(and it just all reminded me of this quote i came across here ages ago and can't find again)
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How absolutely terrified Astarion looks when he says "... not fall for you."
How he looks like he had given up preemptively when he says "No matter how much I'd like to." because why would you want him after all of this. He fully expects you to walk away and end things. He both came clean about what he did and told you - from his point of view - that he has nothing to offer you. He knows he fucked up very bad, is about to lose the only light in his life, and for the last 200 years fucking up meant immense pain was soon to follow. He's bracing for the blow.
Then you hug him. And you prove him wrong against all odds. He may start counting down the hours until the end later, but for now he gets swept up in it all.
"I know that this... this is nice. :)" said without any charlatan undertones. His voice is relaxed, deeper, calm, happy, relieved, safe.
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cyb3r-st4rz · 22 hours ago
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I love yapping about Alpha and Pebble being a little bit toxic for fun but I created a relationship analysis on accident while yelling at a friend about them (said friend has no fucking clue who I was talking about) so anyway, have 500 words of me rambling about Alpha and Pebble and why they are the way that they are:
edit: tagging @wrathofrats because they are like one of the biggest reasons I went down this rabbit hole
Alpha looks down on most of his packmates but not out of malice. He has a certain natural authority, being one of the oldest ghouls still topside. His mind works on the concept of strength and dominance. He’s not entirely just mean to his packmates, he simply sees his natural authority as something that elevates him. Again there is no bad intention whatsoever, he loves his pack more than anything. That arguably makes his “superiority” even more prominent. He has to watch out for them. When he was summoned the ghouls were treated like shit. Much like back in the pits, they had to fight for their right to exist everyday. Proving their value to the clergy over and over again because if they weren’t useful, what was stopping them from sending them back? Alpha loved Secondo but subconsciously never forgave him for letting his pack be ripped to shreds over and over again. Logically he knew Secondo tried, it cost him not only his status as papa but eventually his life. 
Maybe knowing all that explains Alpha and Pebbles relationship.
When Pebble was summoned he looked haggard and frail, not unlike any previously summoned ghouls but something was different. Alpha didn’t quite understand why but he felt the natural impulse to take a stand between the vulnerable earth ghoul and the members of the ministry present. He wouldn’t let them get close, he couldn’t let them hurt him. Eventually Omega managed to take Pebble to the infirmary. Still, Alpha wouldn’t leave his side, growling at siblings and only letting Omega get close enough to provide the needed care.
Pebble was recovering quickly but he stayed rather small. Earth wasn’t around anymore to assess his magical capabilities and the infirmary was too far from any form of nature for Pebble to make it known. So to Alpha that meant he needed to teach the ghoul how to stand his ground against the clergy. If he couldn't defend himself with his fists or his element he should at least have his words. After a few weeks of Alpha essentially bullying the poor ghoul, he started to shoot back. He unknowingly created a monster, as Omega liked to say. 
That's how their complicated relationship started. Alpha giving him shit to try and help him survive in the long run but Pebble not really needing that because, as it turns out Pebble was strong and confident in his magic, quickly proving to be one of the strongest earth ghouls the abbey had ever seen. 
Long after the last ghoul was banished, Alpha still had a hard time letting go of his past compulsions. It got easier over time. Seeing the pack he loved so much develop without the fear and apprehension he had grown used to. Despite everything, his tough-love-act almost turned into a coping mechanism. A pattern he’d fall back into every now and then. The only ghouls who’d put up with him then were Omega, who would just talk him out of it with his therapy bullshit, and Pebble. Pebble, who knows how to handle it, who knows that Alpha loved him not despite but because of the way he’d act and Pebble who understood.
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rustonyourfingers · 22 hours ago
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Rambling about Vi
ARCANE S2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
I've been going through arcane s2 tag but I haven't seen anyone mention this so far, and I really need to talk about it.
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This post is about Vi, but more specifically -- Claggor's goggles and their symbolism. We know that Claggor's goggles were one of the things that Jinx kept after her bomb worked, and we know she used them frequently -- we see her wear them every time she works on something both in season 1 and in season 2 as well. Ever since season 1 the goggles were set up as a symbol -- of a life and identity lost, of Jinx's insanity and hallucinations becoming stronger and stronger, of lost innocence and fall into maddness and violence. And I love how now this symbol was passed onto Vi -- in such a vital moment of her journey as well.
Just moments before the group enters that hangout place (also, the way we keep coming back here, after all these years that passed between s1 arc 1 and s2 -- brilliant!) Vi decided to join the Enforcers -- the very people who for decades (at least!!) oppressed people of Zaun and treated them like animals, like dirt on the soles of their shoes that didn't deserve so much as to breathe. In that moment she's besically deciding to betray her people, but most importantly, herself -- the little girl who walked across that bridge and witnessed all the death and destruction the Enforcers sown, saw her own parents' dead bodies laying broken on the ground. She betrayed the older Vi, the one taken by Vander that followed him around, one that dreamt of getting the boot the Enforcers kept on their necks off and ripping it apart, so Zaun would finally be free of their brutality. She betrayed the Vi that was locked in Stillwater, beaten by the Enforcers for the simple crime of existing, to the point when anytime someone approached her cell, that's what she expected -- another beating. Young Vi saw the imbalance of power between the Enforcers and people of Zaun -- and she hated it. The Enforcers always had better weaponry, training, every advantage possible, and they used it in the most vicious way possible -- to oppress, to hurt, to make sure that people of the Undercity would never be recognized as human, as deserving to live and to have rights.
And now, Vi's putting on the badge herself. Now, she's the one with the advantage -- hextech weapons and bioweapons, things that even with the use of shimmer would be extremely hard to fight against. With that one action, Vi became the oppressor -- and while we see her refuse to acknowledge that until the very end of episode 3, to me her picking up those goggles was the first sign of her facing that reality.
Because Clagger's goggles are a symbol of the past -- the past where Vi was fighting for the right cause, to make her family's life better, to make sure there would be no more orphans in the Undercity. Vi is no longer fighting for the right cause -- she is now part of the causeless violence released onto the people of Zaun, onto the civillians, onto the kids. She not only stops to examine the goggles -- no, she picks them up and puts them on her head immediately, as a reminder of who she was, as a reminder of why she was fighting in the first place, as comfort because she no longer is who she was, she no longer fights for what she faught for in the past and she needs to belive that she's making the right choice in following Cait's lead, because if she faces the fact that she became everything she hated, the very thing that made her into the person she was in season 1, that'll break her. And Vi cannot allow herself to break. Not in the past, not now, not ever.
To me, the goggles are such a wonderful and important part leading to a) Vi's breakdown with Cait when she asks Cait to never change, and b) when she sees Isha protect Jinx with her body and aim a gun at her head, and realizing the fact that she's becoming to Isha what the Enforcers were to young Vi and Powder on that bridge, and that she was no longer fighting for the right cause.
Anyway, this is super chaotic, but I love how Clagger and Milo's memory lives on and still haunts the narrative for both Jinx and Vi. Just chef's kiss all around, what a wonderful show.
Also, English isn't my first language so hopefully this all makes sense lol.
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rjschoicesstuff · 2 days ago
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Choices fandom appreciation shoutouts
This event is so so so lovely and I really want to join in hehe. I'm not great at expressing my thoughts/feelings and stuff but I really wanna try because I'm really thankful for all of u guys!! :)
When I first posted on this account last summer I honestly expected I'd probably post a few things and dip again because I usually don't get much attention on social media platforms. And also wasn't sure if anyone would really vibe with my approach to characters and stories hahaha 🙈.
But instead people were so nice and I felt so welcomed and like 'oh wow people seem to actually enjoy what I do??' And I had so much fun reading the tags left on reblogs of my art and stuff. And alongside that it has been soooo fun to see everyone elses posts and characters and leaving my thoughts on those as well (and slowly getting less shy about it too 💪). And I even started reading fanfic for the first time in my life hahaha.
I feel like I'm rambling but I just really want to say all this haha, it's been so fun being on here! I love drawing everyone's characters and other requests and will keep doing that (like pleeaase dont be shy, I love drawing everyone's characters) because it's fun and it's also kinda how I say 'thank you' for all being so nice to me!! So yeah thank you all for making me feel so welcome the past months! :)
Especially as someone who usually has trouble making friends and putting myself out there due to shyness it means a lot!
Under the cut I'll also put some messages directed at separate people, I'm fighting the lil voice in my head that's shy about this but you guys all deserve to hear it hehe, even if I'm kinda ass at expressing myself like this
But even if not mentioned/tagged I appreciate everyone who supports me/my work so much and I love seeing you guys in my notes!!
@lovealexhunt In the short time I've been here I've noticed you do so much for people and this fandom! I've loved all the fics you wrote that I read so far and love how you write Mal and Daenarya together (and the vampire au OOOO). She's so fun and I loved drawing her interacting with Ripley and will definitely do it again sometime!! And I'm also still so obsessed with the geometric Ripley art and I thought it was so sweet of you to draw that for me aaaa
@lilyoffandoms I always love seeing your art on my tumblr feed and your designs for your mc's!! And I'm still sooo in love with the Ripley drawing you did and that really made my day back then because it was a total surprise too!! In general all the art you've done of my characters has just been awesome and made my day every time!!
@choicesmc I love what you do with all your mc's, when you make picrews for them, the artworks I've seen you do for them and all the info you share about them, you're so so creative!! I love all your writing a lotttt, especially the shorter ones you've been posting lately!! I rly enjoy talking to you in dm's a lot, if it ever seems like I don't it's just me being shy haha 😭. I also love the tags you leave when you reblog my art and when you point out stuff you notice :)
@sapphoschoices Thank you for so often sharing my posts!! And in general always supporting people and sharing their work! I love all the edits I've seen you do and hope you'll keep sharing more hehe. I also read a fic by you for the first time last week and really enjoyed it! Made me wanna replay Desire & Decorum..
@rosesnink Thank you for letting me borrow your mc's a few times when I wanted to draw interactions! I had so so much fun writing back and forth about Rex and Brienne after I posted the art of them together hehe, I always love to see other people with orc mc's in general. I also really like the gif edits you make and your fics I've read so far!
@aria-ashryver You were one of the first people in the fandom who started sharing and commenting on my art and thanks to that I ended up not just  posting a few things and dipping forever like I expected hahah. I always really enjoy reading through the tags you leave on the art I post!! I finally caught up to SICSIG a while ago and it was sooo fun seeing what you did with Immortal Desires and all the extra lore and stuff and I can so clearly tell so much love went into it. And your sprite edits are also always so amazing aaaa.
@cadybear420 Thank you for often sharing my posts I really appreciate it hehe. And thank you for letting me draw your mc's a few times, I had sm fun with it haha. And it was really fun talking about Ripley and Evie interactions. I really enjoy your edits, you're so skilled aaa!! I also enjoy reading about your mc's a lot + how you write gnc characters and gnc m×f romance.
@gaiuskamilah I loveeee your art a lot and love seeing it on my feed!! I also really enjoy reading your thoughts on books, characters, themes in books etc. You make me wanna replay BloodBound so bad (and I definitely will do that soon)
@hsslilly-blog I'm sooo obsessed with your art you have no idea. You're rly funny and I rly enjoy seeing your posts on my feed. I really really love how you write characters, like they just feel so real, it's super inspiring!
@mydemonsdrivealimo I really really enjoy your art and everything you share about Jensen and Bryce. You're like  The Bryce Mutual to me, anything you say about him is basically canon to me lol. Thank you for letting me draw Jensen a while ago it was SO fun aaaa
@peonyblossom
Thank you for the cover redraw ideas you sent when I asked for ideas, I had sooo much fun drawing the Alpha cover with Kalani and Channing!! I enjoy the bits you share about your mc's and oc's a lot too!
@choicesfandomappreciation
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femme-foucault · 3 days ago
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This is actually really interesting to me (especially as someone who has used SEO data involving Google searches as pertaining to user personalization factors involving personalized data (including geographical region) versus contextualized data (trending analytics, for instance), keyword data, etc. in some of my political discourse research). I am curious as to the wider contexts of these searches because I know that as much as those of us on the left want to believe that people who vote third party ideologically for reasons such as Palestine are a more influential force than they actually are, they are a fairly small minority even in swing states. So those people are not likely to be enough of a population to radically ask "change my vote" when they expected Harris to win and be self-righteous versus Trump winning and panicking like many of them (though not all) did in 2016 and I think more than are willing to admit are doing right now. I would imagine people who abstained entirely for some of the same reasons might be reconsidering, but why use those keywords? Sure, not everyone is used to how to use keywords in the most optimal way, especially based on generation, in a way those of us who grew up with search engines often take for granted. But I am interested in the wording here and the reasons behind it.
My guess without further context -- with the caveat people's knee-jerk reactions are often wrong and that is why data and fact-checking is so important -- is that without knowing the scale of how many people are Googling "change my vote" that it is a minority because the fact is if 5 people Googled that search query on October 5th and a 100 people Googled on November 7th, that graph reads the exact same way as if 5000 people Googled on October 5th and 100,000 people Googled on November 7th so an exponential increase in queries is not that useful when tracing trends in search engine queries without accounting for scale. One possible way that to bridge the discrepancy between what I talked about in the last paragraph and the possibility the graph does reflect a large scale change in searches in a way that is not being visualized in the screenshot is the the possibility undecided voters who abstained and changed their mind (again) are using keywords liked "changed" instead of "vote late" which would give them accurate results (namely, that they can't). But yeah, without more context, I don't know and that's interesting to think about but also something that might be really hard to study.
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I'm going to McFucking Lose It
#the reason it can be hard to study phenomenon like this is that the people who make search inquiries like this are hard to interview bc no#one thinks that they aren't *good* at Google#and yes me too! I can talk about so many studies off the top of my head using everything from qualitative research methods to eye-tracking#software to study how people interact with search engines and it does not matter how educated you are -- people typically DO have certain#patterns when it comes to search engines that they are not aware of#yes you can get more precise in many cases but the first step is acknowledging that we all do not notice as much as we think we do#and keeping that in mind#(and the precision cases often involve familiarity#But THAT also gets compromised by the fact that since 2022#there have been such noticeable shifts in Google's search engine filtering algorithms that even lay people notice it#so some of the academic research about patterns in filtering are off now because that's the nature of dealing with digital objects -- your#object is always going to be outdated at some point. The value of that work is that it crystalizes a particular point in digital history#of technology#and THAT is highly important in terms of later scholars being able to trace a narrative of history and theory of technology in an age where#it can be difficult to document shifts using traditional research means#but at some point it is always going to have primary value as a historical artifact and not a comment on the times esp with the length of#time and rigor peer-review takes.#I am a meta-methodologist in my approach so that has less applicability to me in certain aspects of my work but with case studies?#yeah my PhD dissertation is on the role of algorithmic filtering in the 2016 US election and juxtaposition between discourse around#technology in that election and technical writing about it in terms of underlying assumptions about the nature of knowledge (epistemology)#that work in technological AND political rhetoric regarding how information filtering works#So I am acutely aware of the amount of changes that happened in search engines alone between when I defended my prospectus and when I#defended my dissertation are staggering#and it is still important to clarify something about a historical moment#but yeah that was a long rambly self-indulgent way to say researching this shit is hard and I would be REALLY interested if someone on the#more social science oriented side has ideas on how to go about studying this in a way that can be traced#actually yeah going to put this in the#academiaing#tech tag#tags for the tag rant alone
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a-drama-addict · 2 months ago
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not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again
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