#tbh idk which tag is more appropriate

[noseboopsanddandelionwishes]

I feel like some of the reason that generative AI and AI tools have become popular and that things like this seem to be helpful, is the focus on completing or finishing something.

We don't necessarily get credit just for showing up to class; we also have to pass the test. The goal is only met when the website page is written and published.

In some instances and scenarios, using completion as a metric is understandable, but to experiment with other metrics of value, I have been trying to allow for areas where that doesn't matter. And just allow to try and fail, or get better, or just do the process because then I'm doing it.

I play guitar though I have no plans to play anything at all - but I put my fingers on the fretboard and experimented with what made sound. I bake a cookie recipe and chase the flavor or texture as the whim takes me and sometimes change it 10 times before the end result.

When the goal becomes "finish the book", then having it summed up makes perfect sense. The goal being "hear the author and their turn of phrase even if it's strange" or "sympathise with the characters and feel their journey" it's different.

Have you ever read lyrics before hearing a song? I don't know if it's just me, but they make no bloody sense when I do. And sometimes it's a song I know, and I read the lyrics and they fall flat, have zero impact, and are completely indecipherable. But when spaced out, set to instrument, emphasized in certain ways, suddenly many meanings emerge as each phrase is sung.

Idk, I think it's kind of like that?

But when I'm just trying to quickly absorb the meaning of the song through the lyrics, I miss the meaning of the song - but I did take in all the lyrics.

Making completed works, and getting good grades, and making products - all emphasize that the only value is after something is finished. So, I kind of get the push for tools to help us finish things quicker, so we achieve the thing.

But sometimes I think we need the space to not do that, and have it be valued - the work in progress, or even just the partially executed ideas, starts of things, and random trails that lead nowhere in the end but were a part of the experience. Running through hypotheticals and discarding choices and only making it 70% of the way through a course. There is no closed loop, or job well done, or finale. But they still matter and added to and enriched my life and sometimes prepared me for some other thing.

what is HAPPENING

[moe-broey]

Had. An extremely funny vision to revamp Moe's staff.

The design isn't super final, I can never really decide how I want the accents to look... trying to keep them in line with how the Askr trio's weapons look. Especially the signature color magic glow that's present in their special arts!!!

Anna has it too!!!!! You just don't see it bc her art gets cut off in game. Also, additional image bc you don't see the handle v well in her special.

Which is why, here, the green gem is most prominent on Moe's weapon.... geen....... idk if I'm keeping the other ones that look like the summoning circle orbs. It was just something I wanted to try out!

BUT. BUT. The Main Idea here is that Moe added its own touch to the staff. Yeah, the dangly halo was a Neat idea, but this concept is just so much funnier to me..... says SO much about Moe as a character... it is ALWAYS. Making and customizing things. I can also see Moe using the carabiner practically as well! Now, I wonder why it held onto those two feathers in particular... 🤔

[cxffecoupx]

✧˖*°࿐ 2024 tumblr wrapped

as this year comes to an end, and we revisit the memories it brought, it's only appropriate that we go through this past year in this account. thankfully, i was tagged by @monamipencil in her tumblr wrapped post, which gave me the motivation to make this post (which i otherwise would have procrastinated on) that gives me the opportunity to share a glance at this year in writing.

before we get into it, i wanna take a moment to thank everyone from the bottomest pit of my little heart: followers; fellow creators who I always look up to; every anon who's sent me an ask, even if it's just to ramble; everyone who's read any of my work and who's shown love to them. what this account is right now, is all because of your support and love. so really, i love you with every single living cell in my body.

for some basic details:

this account was created on may 14 (counting the day of the first post), so it's been 232 days of cxffecoupx!

as of the moment i'm writing this, we have 762 followers — a truly huge family indeed!

i've posted 40 works (crazy to even think about that??)

made 326 posts all together (i do yap a lot).

made a few really good friends...

...and also realised i would like to post even more in the coming year

for someone as inconsistent as me, i sure feel very surprised at the performance this year (you can actually see how low I'd expected of myself lol), and i'm so so grateful to y'all for all your love.

now, for some post specific stats:

again, i've posted 40 works this year.

top fic of 2024 — [11:18 pm]; seungcheol × reader; 2k notes.

longest fic — realising they're in love with you; ot13 × reader; 1.4k words. here for you; joshua × reader; 1.4k words .

personal fav — (you can't make me choose btw my babies >:(!!) what 2 am with them looks like; ot13 × reader. cheol as a girl dad; seungcheol × reader.

top member — seungcheol (very biased, i know).

total word count of 2024 — (idk i need my laptop to check ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ; will update soon tho).

this is all about my writing and works. again, i would like to thank every single one of you who's taken even a little time out to read any of it; i seriously cannot express it enough, i really really mean it.

using this section to dedicate some special thanks and extra love to a few people:

@simpxxstan — no amount of words would be enough to thank you. for all the times you've patiently listened to my rants and silliest ideas. for every time you've approached me to share your own thoughts because that just makes me feel soo loved. for all the times you've supported and encouraged me, not just for all the caratlife related stuff, but also personal problems and struggles. for helping me get through this semester of master's while you were going through it yourself. if i could invent a new word to convey all the gratefulness i have towards you, i'd gladly use that right now.

@seungcheorry — one of the reasons cxffecoupx is what it is today. if it weren't for your support and guidance, i'd still be using my personal account and there would be no cxffecoupx. and although it all started like that, you've only continued to show your kindness by your ongoing support and love, even during difficult times for you. please know that i'll always be here for you to reach out to. always.

@wonuumelody — the first friend i made here. the first person who messaged me to tell me how much she liked my very first post. literally gave me all the more reason to keep posting, because if not for anyone else, then atleast for her. thank you so much for your kind words that day; it still keeps me going.

@ylangelegy — where do i even begin with kae? i found the account through a coincidence and it's been such a rollercoaster ride for me since then. tbh, i look up to them as someone i'd like to use as my guiding light when things get rough. when i feel like the words i write do not look pretty, they're always the first to show me that they are. and that it more than enough at the time for me. my personal cheerleader, know that i'm always at the bleachers, cheering you on too.

@monamipencil — this is such a whiplash for me because this person was someone i used to look up to since the beginning of my cxffecoupx days,,, and then one day she interacted with my posts???? ris starstruck moment fr because i could not believe my eyes. so this will forever remain a core memory for me. truly.

@hearts4hansol — ofc i need to mention my secret santa, the one who kept me so entertained this whole month of december and gifted me something so so special that it'll remain in a part of my mind and heart for as long as cxffecoupx exists. i want to apologise again for all the messages i haven't replied to yet, and also thank you for all the silent support you've given me 'anonymously'.

@mejaemin — my only nct moot here. she has a special place in the neon green section of my heart. i love you so so much.

plus a few other people i'm sure to have left out. please don't feel i've forgotten, because someway or another, i'm grateful for your love and your part in showing support that has given me fuel to keep going on. this also goes to all the anons who've sent in their requests (including those i havent yet responded to; i see them everyday and i will most definitely get to them).

resolutions for next year?

write more — seriously. even though i feel like 40 works for half of the year seemed surprising to me, i do hope to be able to post some good stuff i can feel proud of. it's a bit difficult, but i'll try my best to reach there.

work through the requests and drafts — i have around 10-15 requests in the inbox, and nearly 30-40 little drafts (one-liners mostly, a brief clue about the idea i jotted down earlier). i would LOVE to be able to work through those and finish them up. that would honestly be so satisfying omg.

as a sidenote to the previous two resolutions, i would like to finish winter wonderland — by posting the remaining two drabbles. i know i've been pushing it for too long now, and i hate it as much as you do, honestly. so i would love to get that done first tbvh.

interact more — come across more writing blogs and make more moots. it's always fun to talk to someone (i am like this only on the net). this would also allow me to read more variety of stories and possibly learn something from them.

on a personal note — do well academically, make more friends, (hopefully) find new love, travel and explore more... might add more to this bingo card.

with this, we reach the end of my 2024 tumblr wrapped (ended up a little too long, pardon). thank you so much for this opportunity to let me take a glance back at this year, to learn from my mistakes and do better next time.

(not really tagging anyone because 2024 is almost over now, but if she's up to it, then i'd love to see @simpxxstan do it + anyone else who's interested, (i'm a little nosy and) would love to see it!!)

the time here is 23:45.

signing off as cxffecoupx of 2024.

see you on the other side.

happy new year! i love y'all <3

[bloody-tongues-honey-teeth]

EDIT: I ONLY ACCEPT DMS FROM FRIENDS AND MUTUALS. DO NOT SEND ME UNSOLICITED NUDES.

Good morning freaks! My old nsft blog got shadowbanned in The Purge (moment of silence) and was possibly also kind of cringe as you went farther back because I had it for y e a r s so this is its new incarnation

I'm shine/sorrel/honeysuckle (or whatever name you know me by from elsewhere is fine). I am VERY TRANS any pronouns are fine, girl and boy are fine, but do not call me a woman (and I feel weird about being called a man too ngl those just feel too gendered somehow) and I have a preference for being called they/it.

I'm 27 and this is a nsft blog. Minors are not welcome here.

Switch + verse I'm usually responsive to whatever kind of dynamic my partner wants at the time tbh. Much less experience domming though. Soft/condescending/service dom, stupid idiot needy pathetic sub

There will be hard/weird kinks here. I will come up with a tagging system but for now there will be tags for #c/n/c #/blood #/sharps (blades, needles, etc) #/eroguro (just gonna be that like pastel aesthetic squishy soft type for now, if I post more realistic stuff later I'll make a separate tag or another sideblog idk yet) #/drugs #/somno #/vore #/cannibalism.

Less-graphic/more sensually- or intimacy-focused cannibalism (soft cannibalism???) will go here too and that'll just be tagged #acts of communion. I have a Thing.

Beyond that pls send me an ask if you need something tagged. I take triggers and sexual boundaries seriously. You do not need to justify or explain. I will not laugh at you.

Besides that there will be #/bdsm #/petplay #/submissive #/dominant #/sado #/maso #/bondage #/asphyxia #/breathcontrol #/degradation #/humiliation #/praise #/furry (subset by animal eg #/deergirl #/foxgirl etc) #/freeuse #impact #/breeding tags for sorting and navigating purposes, which list I may expand in the future but which I also may not keep up with perfectly because I'm forgetful. We'll see.

If I post any l e w d i m a g e s of myself I will tag them #shinensft

Sideblog for babayagawafflehut. Friends and mutuals can dm but I'm not rlly like seeking anybody to flirt with. If you dm me unsolicited nudes or if I don't know you and you write weird stuff under my posts I will regard you with disdain thenceforth and forevermore. If we're friends or mutuals and you're not a cis man though feel free to write whatever you want under my posts live it up post your most deranged manifesto go wild.

That said if you flirt with me under my posts and I don't reply it's not rlly personal I'm just 1) not seeking and 2) intimidated by interaction with anyone all the time. And also shy. (Will that even happen? Am I getting the cart ahead of the horse here? Does the horse even exist? Where are we? What year is it?)

If you know me on here or irl you probably already know all my kinks so idk honey good luck

Don't send me asks about why this or that kink is bad. If you're on my blog for anything at all we should all be adults capable of understanding how consent works and how to appropriately separate fantasy from reality.

[actual-lea]

TELL US ABOUT THE THERMONUCLEAR BOMBS LEA (& tag them appropriately please)

God okay I don't even know where to begin I just

I'm gonna ramble a lot about how these bombs work and none of it is going to be very informative probably unless you also want to check out the damn Thermonuclear Weapons wikipedia page at the same time, and even then it's fun to remember that all of this is mostly only how thermonuclear bombs are theorized to work, since the actual designs are obviously all super classified info

Also going to ramble specifically about how the bomb is presented in Lost, so spoilers also abound:

Okay well fun fact, a thermonuclear aka hydrogen aka fusion bomb (which is different than like. a "regular" atomic/nuclear/fission bomb) contains a regular atomic bomb inside it - there are two "stages" to a hydrogen bomb, of which the regular-ass atomic bomb is only the first (fission) stage and is basically only there in order to facilitate the secondary (fusion) stage, which is where most of the power actually comes from (and then from that there's more fission that happens, which might actually be where most of the power actually comes from? idk this is all top of my head I don't have the wiki article open right now lol)

That was something that really kind of blew my mind to learn. Like. The idea of an atomic bomb in most people's minds is (for good reason!) this huge city-flattening thing of indescribable destructive power, and that thing very quickly became irrelevant as anything but the activation for the actual bomb bomb, which is so so so many more times destructive than either of the bombs that were actually used in 1945.

I actually just recently re-skimmed over the wiki article about Tsar Bomba, the biggest EVER thermonuclear test explosion (which was in 1961 iirc, somewhere in Russia/the Soviet Union), which iirc is theorized by some people to have actually been a three-stage design rather than two-stage*, and fucking. The seismic wave created by this explosion circled the entire globe three fucking times over even though it was detonated in the fucking air

*because of the way that the two stages work, it's theoretically possible to just keep adding more and more of the "secondary" type device ad infinitum, but it becomes pretty impractical pretty quickly since (I think?) they'd need to keep getting bigger and with just a two stage weapon you're definitely already in like the 20 tons realm at minimum already, so it's kind of silly to keep adding more and more to it especially when the amount of explosive yield you're getting is already way more than enough than you could ever really need anyway

ANYWAY

None of that is really relevant to what I was ACTUALLY trying to learn about in the first place, which is like. How in the good goddamn the bomb in Lost is supposed to have worked.

(Really the thing I was trying to initially figure out more than anything is what the fuck would the stuff leaking from the casing of the bomb even have been and the jury's still out on that one tbh)

SO okay. Season 5 finale of Lost, we have Sayid and Jack and Eloise and Richard all going to get the bomb to do the thing with the incident. According to Sayid according to Daniel's journal, his plan was to remove the "plutonium core" of the bomb rather than trying to move the whole damn thing.

Incidentally, I have a copy of the Lost Encyclopedia, and like half the reason for buying it in the first place was because I saw online that there were more pictures of Dan's journal/the disassembly instructions for the bomb in it (which I did get this damn thing in like November 2020 so that should tell you how long I've been looking into this stuff lmao)

(a picture of a spread from the Lost Encyclopedia showing several images of pages from Daniel's journal)

So, okay - there are 2 spreads (4 pages) worth of detailed disassembly instructions, over on the right side of the image - idk if any of that is even readable in the image but to summarize: the first pages (bottom right) are the ones we actually see for like half a second in the episode:

(an image from 5x16 of Sayid's hands holding Daniel's journal open to those same disassembly instructions)

According to these instructions, what we are actually removing in the episode and carrying around and dropping in the Swan hole, is the "plutonium primary device from the secondary payload", which. Is not really a thing? The "primary" device in a hydrogen bomb IS the atomic bomb, which is a whole separate thing from the "secondary" device. There is a plutonium "spark plug" cylinder inside the secondary, which I assume is probably what this would be referring to, HOWEVER the second part of the instructions (top right of the Encyclopedia image above) have a drawing of this device, which apparently includes "slow explosive lense", which is absolutely not a thing that would be in the secondary. The explosive lenses in a hydrogen bomb would only be found around the primary, most likely in a spherical shape that creates a series of synchronized explosions to compress a spherical plutonium (or perhaps enriched uranium, but most likely plutonium) "pit" in the center, squeezing it enough to cause it to go supercritical which is what causes the explosion. Then, the heat/radiation caused by this explosion is enough to (in a matter of like microseconds - this is also why the inside of the casing is made specifically to hold together long enough for the reaction to actually happen, because otherwise the explosion would blow everything apart before it reached its full potential yield or whatever) then compress the secondary device, a cylindrical casing (called a tamper) most probably made of un-enriched/depleted uranium (I think? it wouldn't be dangerously radioactive to the touch, which is why Sayid handling the damn thing with only a pair of gloves in the episode is actually probably plenty of precaution) with a rod of plutonium inside it and also some tritium/deuterium (isotopes of hydrogen, which is the "hydrogen" part of the hydrogen bomb) is there.

So basically, the radiation/heat/neutrons of the first explosion of the primary compress/ablate the casing of the secondary, and the neutrons react with the tritium and deuterium from the outside while the neutrons from the fission reaction of the plutonium "spark plug" that's getting compressed inside the secondary react with the tritium and deuterium from the inside, and all of this causes a bunch of fusion reactions, which also release MORE neutrons, which then cause some more fission of the uranium casing that surrounds the whole enchilada, and this is how big big big explosion happen.

All that to say - there aren't any explosives present in the secondary. Taking out the "plutonium core" wouldn't leave you with a detonate-able bomb, it would just leave you with a chunk of plutonium and no way to compress it into supercriticality.

Even so, it does seem like the writers did a non-zero amount of research, because I kind of see what we did here? Basically fudged the primary and secondary together in order to make it so that we can take just a piece of the bomb and still have it be detonate-able. So, we've invented for the convenience of the plot a plutonium core that is surrounded by explosives (in a cylindrical shape, which probably wouldn't really work but the plot demands that it does), which is in essence...just an atomic bomb. Not "in itself a thermonuclear weapon" like Sayid says, but definitely enough to cause a big boom**, which I guess is the goal here. I would presume that the actual cylinder (picture below) itself is meant to be a (depleted) uranium casing, with explosive lenses inside it (that the wires are connected to) encasing the cylinder of plutonium inside.

(an image from the Lost Encyclopedia of the "Jughead Bomb" entry, which includes a close-up of the cylindrical device that Jack drops into the Swan hole in 5x17)

**Incidentally, one of the pages in the first Encyclopedia image above mentions "four kilotons" as the theoretical yield of the plutonium core, which I guess might maybe be accurate if we're just treating this thing like a regular ass atomic bomb at this point? It's clearly a very small amount of plutonium that we're working with - for reference, the "Fat Man" atomic bomb (the Nagasaki one) apparently had 6.19 kg of plutonium in it, which is a little over 13 and a half pounds, and of that only about 1 kg actually fissioned, giving a yield of somewhere between 19-23 kilotons. If we're working with...idk, maybe half a kg of plutonium? A little over a pound? And only 1/6 of it was to actually fission upon detonation, then yeah, that yield could probably get pretty close to 4 kilotons.

Even so even so, the idea of rigging the bomb to detonate on impact would maybe maybe work, but only if there was a way to guarantee that the impact would cause the "explosive lenses" (that we're gonna pretend are there) to explode, in sync. This is something that's ordinarily accomplished by an electrical signal sent simultaneously to all of the outer shell of explosives at once - judging from the wires that are all along the cylinder thing, I would presume that's what we're going with in the episode as well. The notes on the second part of the instructions mention "spring loaded detonation switches" but I don't really know what the fuck that means. My best guess is that it's set up like a Wile E Coyote TNT handle switch thing - mayhaps there's a spring loaded thing at the top of the cylinder (right side of the image above, where the tape is) that completes the circuit either when squeezed down or when un-squeezed (I'm leaning towards that, given the tape?) and that's how it would perhaps be able to explode on impact, if that knocked the thing loose enough to complete the circuit.

In which case, hitting it with a rock on the side of the thing would definitely not do anything.

My way to make it make more sense (perhaps in a future fanfic, who can say) would be if rather than there being any kind of explosives in the device itself, if it's instead the pressure/heat generated by the electromagnetic field of the Swan's "electromagnetic pocket" that somehow compresses the device, to the point that the plutonium inside can reach supercriticality and go boom.

But of course, that's not as dramatic or exciting as hitting it with a rock eight times.

Incidentally incidentally, shooting the thing with a gun would also not make it explode (much in the same way that shooting a gas can with a gun would not cause an explosion), but damaging the wires in any way that would cause a short or anything like that could render it unable to detonate and/or cause an explosion that just sort of spits out plutonium chunks everywhere (dirty bomb), so you still don't really want to bring it into the middle of a gunfight if you can help it JACK

[ollyou]

Sorry another non-art post but I wanted to point out to some very disrespectful people that this is NOT an art only account > <“

This account was actually made to be mostly rambles, and just because I like pmtok and center most of my stuff around olly doesnt mean thats all i do either! I never wanted to be a pmtok-only artist; i just draw what i want to rather than what other people like to see

I’m a rambler at heart and if you dont like that then you shouldnt follow me, or just mute #rambling !! Alternatively if you don’t want to see any negative posts, mute #negative ^_^

Tbh as someone who has never had an anonymous ask box before joining the pmtok fandom, stuff like this just comes off as really mean and dehumanizing?? Please unfollow me if you have a mindset like this. I constantly tell people to just send me fun asks and stop trying to order me around like a slave and then people who claim to follow me pull this…. 😓 I hope you know that if you think you’re entitled to my artwork and can tell me to “shut the fuck up” for simply speaking how I feel about the constant harassment the toxic side of the fandom has given me and my friends/mutuals, I do not like you and you’re not allowed to enjoy my art tbh….

There is no “we”, just this rude person who likes to pretend they are a fan. But no fan acts like this. I want my fanbase to be a nice and welcoming place full of gentle and friendly people, not entitled bullies who treat me like their slave. Keep it to yourself if you don’t enjoy my rambling, please, or just unfollow/mute the tags I appropriately place for these sorts of posts <3

I blocked this anon immediately after screenshotting this but tbh I’m not sure if that blocks their actual account too… cause I wanna make sure they can’t view my account if all they want to do is dehumanize me. Idk it’s really weird how this fandom acts sometimes which is why I’m so strict with my dni and byf stuff but people don’t listen most of the time…. Agh!!

I make one post telling the people harassing and stalking me for several months if not years to leave me and my friends alone, and these people suddenly get the idea I’m just an art-making machine…. It’s frustrating but in the end I just want to receive nice anon asks. I appreciate all the friendly anons!! Thank you so much. You make my days so much better. I feel bad that sometimes I can’t respond to them, but I read them all. I save them all. I love them all <:)

But yeah… please unfollow me if you’re unwilling to just mute my #rambling and #negative tags when all you do is complain I don’t post art enough…. Also idk, if you want me to post more art then…? Why not you compliment my art? What’s the point of not ever supporting my art when I post it, then complaining and belittling me when I don’t post it? That’s why I block these people. Very very disrespectful.

I know it’s best to just ignore this stuff! And I do. I ignore a lot of it. It is quite annoying, but I ignore it so I can give the nice people room to speak. It’s really rare that I actually speak up about this stuff tbh. I’m almost positive these are all just the same few people block evading me via VPN anyway hahahah. Especially since I’ve seen them do that, too.

Also, I do recognize it’s very likely no one will read this all the way. But I usually don’t write things expecting people to read them! I mostly write stuff for myself, like a journal of some sorts. :D It’s probably a bit weird when I advertise my art and whatnot too, but y’know. I don’t want my tumblr blog to be just… some soulless art dump. I’m not looking for attention, just respect, I guess.

Ah, in the end I’m sure those bullies will use this to fuel their constant harassment of me anonymously (because they too cowardly to hate me normally, I guess), but tbh they just kind of… complain about a singular post I’ll make for the first time in forever for days straight and act like that type of post is all I make, so I guess there’s no appeasing them. Not that I even want to make happy the people who treat me as subhuman.

Idk why people are so entertained by being assholes, but maybe that’s just the naive part of me thinking! I’m no grown adult or anything. In my head I am just a little baby still learning about the online world as I was raised very sheltered from all that stuff and avoided toxicity wherever I went… 💦 I am a tumblr baby! Sorry..!

Ah!!!! Rambling too much. Hahah. Thank you for reading. Hey, if you got this far, why not you send me a friendly anon message? Gotta clean out all the garbage from within my inbox, though I think I’ve done a pretty good job at it as is.

I will post again when I have something to say or more art to share!!!!

[scorpionae]

i've really been thinking lately about dohwa and physical touch and just general vulnerability in emotions. i'm putting my thoughts under a read more, and going to give the heads up for mentions of abuse ( physical & alcohol ) as well as tag appropriately.

i think a lot about the impact dohwa's childhood had on her, tbh, and all the trauma that came with it, and how it has such an effect in how she reacts to the world around her. maybe i'm looking too deep into it. but dohwa grew up for a time with an abusive, alcoholic father. she would go between the orphanage & him ( as she would be taken away from him only to later be placed back in his care -- or that's how it sounded in some of the episodes. ) back then, dohwa was timid and very meek, as well as scared of her father. there's not been much more divulged about her past in terms of family, or the time between when she received her complex to the present.

anyway, it was only when she received her complex ( still, as a child ) that she finally seemed to become stronger and stood up to her father. her father no longer had power over her, as he finally backed down ( to be specific, dohwa struck back with her tail, to his horror ) and that in combination with the abuse, i feel .. well, that was an impactful moment for her as she finally started to stand up for herself more.

of course, like i said .. they don't go into detail about her life from then to her introduction in j.ungle ju.ice. but i feel it's safe to say that h.yeseon.g's remark about her not having had much contact and struggling to show her affection isn't that far off from the truth. the contact she had was that of her father's, and because of that, she never really had actual affection, and doesn't know how to accept it ?? it's foreign to her, and she doesn't know how to react.

also, i'm thinking about how she was probably perceived at the orphanage. she was stated to be a timid, gentle child .. but they show how ju.nhyeo.ng is treated at the orphanage, and bullied -- dohwa was the one friend he had, and without her, he would have been completely alone. i feel like by proxy, dohwa could have had that same treatment, although she would have cared less how people perceived her in terms of her friendship because jun.hyeo.ng is her friend, and is very important to her.

i feel like having the group around is slowly helping her heal, maybe ?? and grow ?? even if not completely, but i don't think in the latest chapters, she's being as rough with h.yeseo.ng. idk where i'm heading with this thought, but she's definitely felt like she's not as like, ' rough ' as she used to be, although she still has a fierce temper. but i feel like maybe it's because she's finally feeling safe around her friends. she's never been rough with j.unhyeo.ng outside of their fights afaik. and i feel a lot of that comes down to trust and the fact she feels safe with him, and she's beginning to feel that same safety with the group.

but also, i'm thinking about her emotional vulnerability. dohwa is an emotional woman. she's quick to react if provoked, and even the professors take notice that she's someone who acts on emotions. but i also sit here and think about vulnerability and how she's not one to display it -- again, i feel maybe her childhood and her father had a direct impact on this ?? because the only time she felt ' free ' was after standing up for herself .. showing her strength and power, and because of that, i feel she fears showing vulnerability because she's ' giving ' power to another and trusting them with it, which is probably difficult with the life she had ??

idk i've just got a lot of thoughts. i'm sure this is all incoherent, but the fact i just so often think of dohwa and how she has so few friends and all, and just .. idk, i just have thoughts and wanted to get them out.

[swiftieconfessions]

hiii 🥰

doesn’t matter who i am, only what i can do for you. submit your swiftie confessions that you’re too scared to say on main, or just anything you wanna say to start drama :3 deets abt the blog under the cut cause it got kinda long whoops

tagging system

all posts are tagged with #taylor swift and #confession (unless it’s not a confession, in which case it’s tagged with #not a confession). other tags will pop up when i use em. probably one for each album but idk we’ll see

what can i submit?

pretty much anything man it’s all anonymous. your album/song rankings your outfit ratings your horny thoughts. idgaf it’s a confession blog that’s what it’s for

what can’t i submit?

anything discriminatory! don’t be queerphobic or racist or sexist in my inbox. that’s just a given tbh. also if it’s not taylor-swift-related. doesn’t have to be directly related, you can talk about your beef with the fandom or w/e, but don’t ramble about like. politics. i don’t wanna deal with that. also if something disturbs/triggers me i’ll just delete it and i won’t say anything good luck with that bozo (i’m not triggered by much and it probably won’t come up but if it’s really freaky i’m not putting it out there). also if you’re here to spread hate obviously i’m not gonna post it like what even. you came into a blog called swiftieconfessions and thought you’d go “i fucking hate taylor swift and everything she does”? maybe i’ll post it just so you can completely torn apart wouldn’t that be fun 🤩

how does the posting work?

every day i’ll check the inbox and i’ll tag appropriately and then it immediately goes in the queue. the queue posts 5 times a day i’ve decided, if i get more traffic then i’ll up it and if it’s real slow i’ll lower it cause i don’t wanna run out too fast. also the queue doesn’t run chronically cause every once in a while i’ll probably go there and spam the shuffle button for funsies 😊

okay that should be everything dm me if you think there’s something else i should add and happy confessionning 🪄✨

[holyaching]

HOLYACHING . . . a private &* highly selective independent rp blog, featuring SUNDAY of hoyoverse's HONKAI : STAR RAIL. as damned by gabriel ( 21+, they / them prns ) — minors &* personal blogs are prohibited from interacting. viewer discretion is advised as this blog will contain mature &* nsfw content. all will be tagged appropriately. — template credit. / art credit.

———————————————————— † ————————————————————

a study on eternal blessings &* holy condemnation, the plights of icarus' fall, the dark side of the moon &* the light in which it craves, something far too fragile — a bird made of glass . . . the plummet down will shatter you. your tongue which once lamented sacred text now utters a prayer to die. " please, please, " words uttered so softly, " let me die. "

temp. rules are under the read - more.

an overview. holyaching is a highly selective independent blog, run by me . . . gabriel, or better known as rie ! i'm twenty - four &* i prefer they / them prns. i block those who are under 18 as well as personal blogs that interact with my posts. pls don't reblog anything if you're a personal blog . . . don't get me wrong i'm super touched but being perceived will kill me.

activity &* response time. this blog will be super slow ! to be pretty upfront, i've had a hell of a twenty - twenty four . . . idk it's been really rough. i might be here every day some days, &* never around on other days. please just bare with me.

writing. i would say that i write on a fully literate / advanced scale. most of my responses be at minimum two paragraphs, &* i do tend to heavily format them. if you have rules against formatting, i will abide by them — i might forget but i promise that's not my intention. just give me a heads up !

crossovers, duplicates, &* ocs. i like them &* i'm fine writing against them !

contact. my askbox is always open to my mutuals, as is my ims. you're also free to ask me for my discord, though i can be kind of hard to reach on there.

nsfw. this blog will contain it ! i mean who else is gonna write bird boy laying eggs smh . . . ( /j )

shipping. tbh i'm not gonna be like "oh i love all dynamics equally" i actually fucking love romantic shipping so much lmfao. i'm so down to do just about any pair, just ask me about it or be brave &* send me in some romantic - esque prompt.

affiliates. i don't have any atm ! i am also not affiliated with any sort of "rpc" nor will i ever be.

[zannolin]

4, 8, 11, 14, 16, 19, 34? for the ao3 wrapped one

4. First fic you posted this year

on my ao3 it's witness marks but technically it's shallow graves, which is on anon now.

8. Your most written for pairing this year

billy & freddy from shazam. shout out to shazam for being the fandom i wrote the most fics for this year tbh it's impressive it broke the three-fic threshold!

11. Most popular fic by kudos you posted this year

paper faces which i think has more to do with the relative size of the fnaf fandom compared to the other fandoms i wrote for than it does with the quality of the fic. well, it's a good fic if i say so myself, but not my BEST.

14. Your personal favorite fic you posted this year

oh NOOOO don't make me choose :( um. either swallowing jupiter (appropriately unhinged), three's a crowd (genuinely delighted by everything about it) or mutual distrust even though it's not done yet. probably would go with three's a crowd but idk i hate choices.

16. Most recent fic you Bookmarked

Cover My Scars by DetectiveJoan! it's a fun little warren, kendra and seth fic which was super in character and silly and sweet.

19. Highest word count fic you posted this year

i'm SHOCKED i thought it was going to be the 15k national treasure fic but i forgot growing pains tops out at about 17k so it's shazamily fluff instead.

34. Least popular Fandom by total fic number you read from this year

beyonders lol there's 22 fics in the tag and i've written two of those myself.

ao3 wrapped asks!

[givemeyourbonesandorgans]

1, 6, 9, 18

1- What is your favorite trope to rp?

Not sure if this is a trope, but I rlly like to rp things where the character is either consumed by a- hunger, or b- fear. It’s rlly fun to write mheheheheh.

Oh and just. Angsty tropes >:). Specifically evil friend.

6- Name 3 things you love most abt your muse/muses

Let’s go with Genya for this one.

I rlly like the relationship they have with their brother and how they act around him bc it’s supper fun to analyze, I love how utterly unhinged this bro is(they threw a whole fucking tree without hesitation like?? Did they do this before? Or was this on the spot?), and I also rlly like how goofy they are- especially when it comes to their interactions with the Kamaboko squad.

9- Have you ever written fanfiction?

Silently stares at my main blog, my Quotev account, my Wattpad account, my ao3-

Anyways. Yeah, I’ve been writing fanfiction for a few years now- way before I started rping, which is why half the time I can’t make my responses shorter bc I have to record every single little detail about the characters and how they respond to situations and-

Yeah. And if I try to make it shorter, my response looks shitty.

18- what is one thing you’d like to see in the rp community?

Uhhhhhhhhhh bro idk dies

I just started to come back into the rp community like a month ago, so there’s not much I wish for???

I guess I do wanna find more rp blogs who’s mods r around my age- I only know like 1 or 2 blogs like that. But tbh I’m just chilling. Everyone I’ve ever interacted with is chill, they respect and tag shit appropriately and that’s always fun.

Unlike the wrITING COMMUNITY WITH THEIR UNTAGGED SMUT I DON’T WANNA SEE- the amount of that untagged shit I’ve seen is. Something. It’s getting better tho. I think.

[wyrdle]

NOOO ADD AWAY I AM IN LOVE. I wrote this after a tiring day oops lol

For the sake of smushing both games and giving Clavel both Raidons, I think it'd still work plotwise to have double ups xD Imagine Clavell having to battle both AI Sada and Turo omg.

On how they meet: Yes I was thinking this is during the time he's meeting Juliana/Florian and Nemona to get them onbowrded. After saving the Raidons, Arven is exasperated that they take to Clavell so easily. This is also the first gathering of 3/4 of them (counting both MC's??? idk haha)

Anyway, fast forward a bit, the team star stuff happens similarly with Clive and MC I think but Penny gets attacked by two dergs lol.

For the Herba Mystica route, it'd be with both MC and Arven, picnics and all. Clavell hadn't known that Arven's Mabosstiff was hurt, lecturing for a bit about why he never asked for help from the Academy. I suppose this element could also tie into how before Clavell came to the position, the Academy wasn't doing very well to support students: From late onboarding papers to past bullying to Arven getting neglected. Clavell wishes he had checked in on Sada and Turo personally to have intervened with Arven and is extremely concerned about the Academy's issues (I think Clavell is fairly new to the role.) Dadvell au kicks in during this long picnic herba adventure I suppose, and Arven gets to enjoy some dad-son outdoorsy bonding time like:

"Why don't you ride a Cyclizar,Arven? Or is it because you prefer trekking around Paldea as an adventurer?"

"I um, never learned how to ride bike."

No one taught him how, and so Clavell's Cyclizar becomes Arven's hehe, align with some adorable Clavell and Arven bonding time.

For Nemona and League, I have no idea tbh, but I think it'd be hilarious if, to keep up appearances as Clive, Nemona constantly pressures Clive to do the gym battles and League battles:

"You're already so strong Clive!!!! Be my rival!!!' Clavell can't say no to her enthusiasm so he pretty much goes around the gyms, fooling all of the gym leaders somehow so he sweeps them. The ease of running over the battles let's him go "Ok this isn't eating into too much time, I can do this in addition of all the other things I gotta do." MC is tagging along, and absolutely enjoying every moment of it. His final battle with Geeta and the E4 is the most embarassing but Nemona is watching so fjdbdjd. Geeta is the only one who sees through it and approves of his efforts to connect with his students and such, but is terribly amused by his Clive look LOL HAHA 🤣🤣🤣

Anyway, last plotline is area zero stuff. I think it'd be more appropriate for him to bar the kids from going whatsoever. They still manage to infiltrate the open Zero Gate doors though, maybe with a flying Pokemon from MC, surprising Clavell down below and getting an earful lol. But they're already rather deep into the crater, and maybe we can come up with some be plot convenience that the warp pads are no longer working to bring them out and can only be restarted from the main lab. so, Clavell is stuck with his ragtag group of kids.

Once they make it to Zero lab, ooft the realisation about what's happened to the profs. Clavell's feelings must be so torn because he has quite a few good memories in the now trashed labs... Also, his convos with the AIs in the lab make him really regret not pushing back on the profs and checking in sooner. He also scopes out the leftover notes on the walls, understanding some of it and internally going "oh god, turo, Sada, what have you done???!!!"

But there's little time to spare, The group split off to chase after the stray paradox Pokemon and Clavell is itching to finish up here and get back out there for them. (Lol the kids stepping up despite him not wanting them to is the trend 🤣 He's proud but concerned for them is all)

Then there's the solo battle against the two AIs, and Paradise protocol which Clavell narrowly clinches, probably not without being roughed up. The AI comments that it was a good idea to reach out to the professors' once closest friend, and how they are sorry they never pushed OG Sada/Turo to respond to his past contacts of them. The raidon battle happens much the same, but I do think Clavell would put up a larger objection to the AIs up and leaving? Maybe because he's more conscious than MC that there's still a whole lot to work out from the professors, and it'd be silly to rid of the only witnesses to their deaths. (Unless we want to go for og storyline where he's too shocked/winded/injured to put a stop to them disappearing into the time machine.) With Paradise protection protocol down, he could arrange for the league's assistance to dismantle the time machine, and rescue the two AIs? Dunno.

Regardless, the group returns to the academy and need a looooong break, but are closer than ever before :') Clavell and his kids!!! plural!!!! Probably gets an earful from Tyme about not getting help from the school in his checkup on Turo+sada, Nurse Miriam is very concerned to see the director himself making his way to her office with his relatively unscathed students. The teachers after seeing him come back so disheveled/exhausted/overworked decide to support him more with some tasks etc (Gasp jacq not putting in extra questions for a month just to give Clavell one less thing to look at lol). The students are also very concerned. Clavell gets a whole school and more people (the fooled gym leaders eventually find out, lol) who care about him!!!

TLDR: making Clavell have Main Character syndrome LOL BAHAHSHFDJDJ

I hope you enjoy this au essay, idk what to call it yet 🤣🙈 But I'll draw it maybe

Reaaaally random thought but. What if: At the start of the game, instead of MC getting miraidon/Koraidon, Director Clavell finds him instead, and he gets a giant lizard buddy in the office who threatens to devour all of his lunch lol. He's also out and about as Clive, so the Clive look + motorbike thing = Clive pretending to be some badass biker guy 🤣🤣🤣

Psft. He probably has a cyclizar for going around, but lol. Sandwich vaccum lizards are fun. Also the intrigue of speeding up the area zero expeditions, and the potential chaos of being trapped there??? Idk I've bot thought this AU through properly...

It could be that Clavell helps Arven with the herbs mystica thing, in addition to the team star stuff. He ignores Sada's request to come to Area Zero for Arven + his students sake, until those other plotlines are completed.

I suppose this AU is just making Clavell MC, and the influence of being an adult with some context surrounding things...

BUT OUGH. the angst of meeting the AI, going over the now destroyed lab 4, facing paradise protection protocol (himself??? I doubt he'd want Arven anywhere near). Returning to the Academy with so much sorrow that Tyme can't even bear to yell at him...

[meichenxi]

Hey, could I ask you how you do shadowing? Like the different ways you do it? You mentioned in your tag that shadowing is good and I'd love to hear how you do it! I do not attempt shadowing much so I don't really know what helps, etc. ToT (my studyblr is rigelmejo)

Hellooo! Thank you for the interesting question!

Tbh I think I do it fairly basically - I don’t use any particularly fancy software, but software like Language Learning with Netflix has certainly made it easier. There’s a whole video on how to get the most of it here: [on mobile, link didn't work - How to study Chinese with Netflix! by Chinese Zero To Hero] (I’d recommend checking out all of their videos actually, they’ve done a bunch of livestreams recently and they place a lot of emphasis on shadowing + the course they are trying to sell you is…actually phenomenally good)

(Also, I have to preface this by saying that I have been very lucky in terms of pronunciation: I learnt about 80% of my current vocabulary by ear without characters or pinyin. I have been in China for eight months in total, and while I didn’t speak Chinese for all of that, I was constantly soaking in info on natural sentence intonation. I still often don’t know officially what the tone of a vocabulary item is, especially if it changes tone like 教, 为 or 相, but I don’t get yelled at so I have definitely internalised a lot of those changes. I definitely would have more trouble with this if I hadn’t had that experience - my other areas are waaaay weaker because of this though- my reading SUCKS lmao and I can literally handwrite about ten characters)

Anyway. How I shadow:

1) Quite simply by playing the line, and repeating it with all the emotion it has!! I usually use Netflix or Viki for this. I try to do it as fast as possible, and if I can’t do the whole thing, I ‘chunk’ it: if I were doing the sentence 我们还不知道他会不会来, I would start from the end with 他会不会来, then 不知道他会不会来, and then the whole sentence. Notice that this isn’t breaking it down into words or even grammatical phrases, but intonational phrases: it would be perfectly sensible to just do 会不会来 without the 他 but realistically, since this is a question, it’s likely that a strong stress will be placed on the first 会, and you wouldn’t be able to replicate that without also included the more weakly stressed syllable before.

2) I locate (intentionally or subconsciously) the main locus of stress within the sentence, and I focus on that accordingly. Tones may become less extreme if they are not stressed, and may become more exaggerated if stressed. This is always a good exercise. I accompany this with physical actions - I throw my hands down, I sigh, I groan!

3) I put away the text, and don’t look at the tones or even my computer screen - more on this below.

4) Finally, when I think I’ve got it reasonably accurate, I’ll record them speaking the line into my phone with an appropriate pause for copying and play it back to myself at various points throughout the day.

5) I then go and find other words with the same tone contour to slot in, and copy it again. After that, I find words that are slightly different tonally and pop them in too.

6) I finally do fun things like hold a conversation with myself. This can be really simple phrases imbued with some kind of emotion - 这个女子到底是谁呀？为什么不认识我？应该是新手吧。You can do this either really informally, or very formally, or both - trying to speak in the latter way is very fun! So then it’d be idk something more like: 那位姑娘是何人，来自何处？This is fun because you can really slow down your speech and sound as elegant as you like!! (this will sound stilted if you do it for modern speech, but it’s a very fun exercise)

Choosing your media!!

1) Don’t use donghuas. Seriously. The voice actors usually speak at a ridiculous pace and not with the same range of ‘normal’ intonation

2) Your Chinese is definitely good enough to recognise when anyone is quoting poetry or speaking in a paricularly sexy literary way so, uh…don’t do that. That rules dramas like Nirvana in Fire OUT.

3) Modern dramas and reality TV shows CAN be great, but they can also be quite intimidatingly quick and almost too mushy at times. I’d recommend informal speech in guzhuang dramas more, because they have professional voice actors and extensive sound editing, meaning that although it might be fast and the vocabulary harder, it’s actually much more accessible and easier to copy. You don’t want to be stuck with the awfulness of 50% failed foreigner and 50% 12 year old boy who can’t enunciate properly!!

4) CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON WISELY. I try to find characters that speak in a dramatic, whiny or childish way. This is so important! There’s literally no use copying Lan Wangji unless you want to be able to have that particular cadence and tone of voice you get reciting poetry. Childish/whiny/dramatic characters on the other hand stress some words very strongly, and rush others together - this is great for hearing what actual real speech sounds like. Whininess wins. In The Untamed, characters like Wei Wuxian (not yllz!wwx but just…regular wwx), 一问三不知 Nie Huaisang, Jin Ling, and Jingyi are all great. Also Jiggy, who is just very extra constantly and speaks much slower as well, which really helps. In SHL characters like Gu Xiang are good.

5) CHOOSE YOUR VOICE WISELY! If you are really aiming to copy them 100% (which you should try at least sometimes), you want somebody with your pitch range to sound normal. I have a sort of party trick in Chinese that because I’ve spent so much time listening to women in guzhuang dramas I can change my voice and sound like a) a scheming concubine with honeyed words, or b) the voice of the Beijing metro. My teacher found it hysterically funny. But it’s not my natural voice, and if I speak like that for too long it hurts. The women usually are too high for me, and the big burly manly men too low - so I’d recommend finding a man with a higher voice, or an older woman (like some of the female characters in Nirvana in Fire). Again, sorry that this is mostly the Untamed (I’m just most familiar with it) but the voice actors for Wei Wuxian and some of the juniors (+jiggy) has a higher voice. Likewise Chengling in Word of Honour.

On intonation in general:

- The thing is that whilst shadowing is useful it requires prior ability in a whole bunch of other skills that you can train - it relies on your ability to accurately mimic pitch, emotion and other contrasts. Training this in ANY language, including your native one, will help your ability to do this in Chinese - so I’d recommend spending a fair amount of time practicing shadowing (or speaking just after somebody whilst listening to a string of text, like monolingual simultaneous interpreting) in your native language too. Any training copying accents or mimicking other people is going to similarly help, regardless of the language.

So, with that in mind, further tips:

1) Hum / try to copy the intonation without any words. What this does is force you to pay attention to what the intonation actually is, versus what you may think it should be.

2) Don’t look at the text! Do! Not! Look! At! The! Text! If you look at the characters or pinyin you’re telling yourself ‘ok this is a third tone here’ etc, but you want to override the part of your brain that has gotten into bad habits and is supremely self-confident in how you’re pronouncing the third tone, and actually just go straight back to mimicking.

3) Don’t be afraid to do it with vocabulary that is way beyond your level. Actually, I find this can sometimes be helpful, because you don’t have a prior idea about how a particular tone pair should be useful - and you don’t know which tone you should be producing.

4) Learn vocabulary by ear - listen to a vocab podcast or even make one yourself (I often do this; I record my daily Anki and listen back to it through headphones copying throughout the day - if you’re not confident in your pronunciation you can get Google Translate to do it). Similarly, pick unknown vocabulary out of a longer segment and remember it, trying to internalise the tones instead of figuring out which tone it is.

5) Find emotional sentences, and copy them with emotion. This is SO CRUCIAL!!! We remember things when we relate to them, and when we imbue them with emotion - and it also helps in hearing exactly how an angry second tone sounds, for instance.

6) When you’re copying, look up, and imagine you are having an actual conversation. Carry yourself with conviction and poise!! Really try to whine like wwx or slime like jgy. After a couple of turns copying them, try to turn off the audio and keep delivering it in the same manner.

7) Swap individual words out. Once you have a line properly figured out, swap a word or two that has a different tone pair, and focus on delivering it with the same pattern of stress.

8) Finally, practice doing this in your native language too!! It’s a skill that we don’t use often, and it can be trained. Some people are terrible at it at first go even in their native language, but you can work on it!

About intonation in general:

1) I think a lot of pronunciation problems with people sounding unnatural or stiff ultimately come down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what intonation looks like across different languages. In English we mark it by pitch: and we are so used to the rhetoric that Chinese has ‘tone’ and not ‘intonation’ that we try and focus on blindly copying every single word textbook perfect without listening to how it actually sounds.

2) Chinese does have intonation!!! Except that, unlike English, when you stress a word, the pitch doesn’t change, but the tone contour is exaggerated - basically the only time you will ever hear a full third tone is in isolated or very exaggerated speech. If you have a Chinese friend, get them to record a sentence like the English ‘I didn’t ask her to steal his rucksack’, and put stress on the different elements of it - I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, and so on. Notice and copy how the tones change. When shadowing, you should always be paying attention to where the stress is in the sentence: when you speak by yourself, practicing saying a sentence neutrally, and then with stress on one component, the next, and so on. If it feels unnatural, it’s because you might not have practicised like this before - it’ll get better!

Hope that’s somewhat helpful / interesting!

- 梅晨曦

[chaifootsteps]

i get why people don’t like it, but i find it kinda frustrating that people focus on lop’s incest drawings and pedophilic drawings (which i don’t believe are pedophilic at all tbh), when the most harmful of their problematic behavior has by far been the bullying. people don’t have to like problematic fiction- that’s not what i’m saying, but idk why people pretend as if that was hurting people more than lop’s literal cyber bullying was

Exactly. Lop had one incest ship that was tagged appropriately and a couple of ships where one party was 50 and the other was 28, and nobody has to be comfortable with that, but between that and bullying smaller artists, the bullying is objectively the worse thing.

[frederickthegreat]

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short 

- AWESOME opening soundtrack 

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho 

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape 

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed 

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season 

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting 

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that! 

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic. 

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear. 

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON 

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!! 

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

-  idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for 

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off?? 

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five. 

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him. 

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines 

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful 

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing 

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more. 

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing 

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

[kamil-a]

TOO BAD YOU GET THE CROSSPOST. SO I FINISHED ACOTAR BOOK 1 hot takes thoughts etc . [cat's name] had to hear this outloud said 2 him several times.

1. THE FANTASY OF IT ALL

i dont mean this section as value judgment i mean it as pure observation: theres very little masking The Fantasy of this book. it feels in the same vein as like, a cornerstone of certain dub/noncon fantasies, right (NOT SAYING THE SEX IN ACOTAR IS NONCON JUST GO WITH ME ONE MOMENT) , that there is something you cant/wont bring yourself to desire and so it must be Done to you and so you are blameless and innocent of the crime of wanting things as the circumstances have been FORCED to change, not that you'll ever admit it. its kind of funny tbh watching her go noooo i am beholden to my hellish life!!! dont you DARE give me beautiful clothing and hot delicious food (1). especially with how the narration is going SOOOOO hard on how lush hot erotic sexy delicious everything often is lol.

the last third of the book almost feels like amarantha is breaking unspoken rules, like everyones in on a big playpretend game except for her, whos being evil for real. but even she creates the conditions for the rhys stuff to appear later in which is like... its more fantasy. oh nooo im beholden to you im absolutely sickened by this intricate beautiful helpful tattoo. etc. anyway i could go on more but tldr this book knows exactly what it is (sexy romance fantasy) and feels like reading blueprints or a skeleton at times. not a bad thing if you like doing that.

2. THERE R SOME SPECIFIC ASS ``SITUATIONS`` IN THIS WORLD

the reveal was so so so good i loved it. fayre is The Chosen One in the way of the typewriter monkey who finally got a page of hamlet down. it feels like a laterbook twist thatd have me going no WAYYYYYY that was planned from book 1 except it LITERALLY WAS. its wild. i was already cracking up at rhys trying to move the romance plot along but like realizing in hindsight he was going BREAK THE CURSE DUMMIES is even better. if u cant tell by now rhys is my fave.

3. hehe narssstyyy gore

no but rly she doesnt pull her punches huh??? the slow zoomout of the initial wolf killed being a person w friends, loved ones, but also a knowing sacrifice.... WAUGH that was good imo. i think the only nasty stuff that felt Extraneous to me was the 2 ppl fayre had to kill immediately before Getting It All lol like cant u have done that 5 min previous. lol. anyway a lot was soooo gross creepy scary

4. rhys stan 4 lyfe and nesta RULEZ those are my 2 faves

every single rhys dialogue tag save for 1 conversation being like he eargasmically crooned in an erotic way regardless of appropriate for situation (2) (THE GUARDS AT EVIL DUNGEON???) is sooooo funny to me. except that one where hes like im miserable im tired. hes blood hnkna coded to me so i instantly love him sry the second he appeared and hes doing some sillyvoiced ``yaaaaa ojousan``-equivalant stuff it was over 4 me.

also HES DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO HELP...... GO GO RHYS.

anyway i assume his arc will be like the sexiest men are the most abusetraumad. i suspect he'll kiss her passionately and die defending her.

ALSO NESTA NESTA NESTA i love her i love her anger that stems from true care. i LOVED the middlepart re-meeting and how it allows her to be re-framed from Bad Conditions Backdrop to a real person with internality.... maybe maybe even a similar zoomout to the wolf maybe in a way? this person is more than just an npc in your story. they have dreams you know. etc. anyway. GO NESTA!!!!

Lucien is good but idk much what to say. cool eye?

tamlin is bog standard romance lead i dont care for him one way or other.

5. This is a distinct book1 take but rn i think if theres any character whos """problematic" its amarantha. everyone was having a gr8 time at the kink party till you started making ppl uncomfy for real. tho maybe some ppl are into the harder fantasies she provides lol..... i was hoping thered be feyre/amarantha toxic yuri but really no no absolutely not (2) (<-as well)

6. JURIAN RING RULES. like do you see this shit jurian.

7. i thought the riddle was either "time" or "fame" lol i feel silly now

(1) saw a tiktok 2 this effect once, only now realized it mustve been a direct acotar parody

(2)this is an *aggressively* het book. AGGRESSIVELY, so much abt females and males and their attraction....but hiiii hiiiiiii rhys making lucien and tamlin beg. i know im Power Play Georg (outliar, uncountable) but it is the book not me that said he said it like "like a lover". even if it was just doing its usual sexy dialogue tagging. heloooooooooo.

i read acotar over the last days of sukkos who wants the #takes