#i hate vulnerability but i had to tell yall how much u mean to me

[enjoythesilentworld]

2024 fandom review!

thank u for the tag @willesredlights sorry it took me literally ages to get to it

lets pretend we're not almost two weeks into the new year ok? and what a year it has been. holy shit.

~ Fics written ~

I'll be honest I did go a little batshit crazy this past year. 314k words across 19 published works, plus god knows how much more unpublished on tumblr. listen, I was deep in the ??? phase of my master's (still am, lets be honest) and desperately looking for a new creative outlet. I've always been a writer, always loved dreaming up stories, but I have never quite connected to a universe as much as I have to this one. I resonate with so many of the characters, and i just feel like there is so much room to play and explore. i will continue to add in old people OCs to my fics wherever and whenever i get the chance.

First fic: for the tree's sake (M, 48k) aka tree boys inspired by the trip that eventually led to my discover of young royals in late '23, and my darling baby. yes, that airplane ride that seems weird and random is based on truth!

Fav fic: just if for a minute (T, 53k) aka fake married idiots i greatly enjoyed making Wille suffer for just under 53k. that confrontation scene took days off my life and yet i am so proud of how it turned out.

Honorary mention to Growing towards the light, which was a dream to work on and create with my dear sweet friend Lia. there is one braincell between the two of us and it's full of nature facts and dick jokes. and beautiful stories about getting lost in the wilderness and finding yourself along the way. and tent-dick jokes.

Last fic: Wille på Hyllan (T, 13k) aka christmas shenanigans! another collab with my dearest friends which was hilarious to write and so silly and imo an example of one of the greatest perks of being in a fandom: meeting some of the most incredible people ever. also, dick-lights and dick-tomtar and dick-cookies. what more could you want?

~ Fics Read ~

if i tried to go through my history and tell you how many fics i read this year i would never make this post. i'd be here counting and trying to copy links forever. i read hundreds of fics. i enjoyed all of them, thoroughly. i got a lot better at leaving comments (sometimes). i was consistently and repeatedly blown away by the genius brains we have in this little Swedish corner of the internet.

if you are a writer i love you and i give u a kiss on the forehead.

also: i recently made a lil rec list here.

~ Other Stuff? ~

i had two big, busy months this year. three? : May, Wille's month & July, Simon's month i cannot believe i wrote 62 stories in 62 different universes (give or take a few). that's kind of stupid! but oh my god it was so fun!! some of my favs: -> Food, where Wille and Simon meet and embark on a mistakenly booked couples food tour in Barcelona -> Fashion/Style, aka the Met Gala AU aka the thing that turned into something so much bigger than i could have ever imagined. literally i thought people were gonna hate it. so, thank u for not hating it. and for letting it become 15k+ of pwp. -> Secret, friends to lovers RAHHHHHH -> Home (Improvement), aka grumpy home renovator Simon idk i just feel like this should become a full-blown fic one day

and oh boy who can forget about Kinktober from wax kinks in 17th century Italy to desperate love confession in the middle of wildfires to... whatever that was in the confessional (idk, that's between them and God).

2024...

I did some painting: x x I wrote some real weird lil ficlets: x x and I met dozens of incredible people. thank u for liking my stupid rambling posts from 3am and my silly little ficlets and for reading my stories and telling me about your stories and saving me from the Frankfurt airport and yelling with me about stuff thats definitely not in the Bible and sharing your time and space and art and care.

@bigalockwood @hergrandplan @gulliblelemon @saynomorefic @pagegirlintraining @skibasyndrome @sobadbad @impossibleknots @piebingo @theaviatorthatcouldnotfly @misfithive @sillylittleflower @zee-has-commitment-issues @purplehoodiesandclementines @justfriendsbestthings

giving u a big hug. and! this is by no means an exhaustive list. if ur reading this we are bffs. send me a message ok? ok. y'all keep me sane and happy and i am so grateful for you! live love wilmon

[my-bipolar-journal]

27th June 2023

I can never have her read this

Letter to tamana

I miss u sometimes. Like I am doing well.. I don't regret leaving the group. I don't wanna rejoin...I hv found a few friends. They are good. I have trisha for the female bestie thing but I hate that I forgot why I didn't share things with ppl why I had secrets...ion regret telling them to u..u were gr8...its just now I have frnds but Ion hv a frnd. I mean usually when I get out of groups it's like easy it's always easy I hv had so many frnd groups but I never had smONE I'd started telling everything to. I m out here being vulnerable coz I feel like it'll give me closure from our frndship. I never lied when I said u made me believe in female frndships... I hv frnds I hv known since nursery but I never shared shit about my life with any1 until I git scolded by u for not sharing shit with u... it's ok ...n when I say it's ok it's not for u it's for myself...just reassuring myself that it's gonna be ok...tbh ion even miss tanav as much as i miss you....I just miss having someone to send

Cute dresses to

And someone to talk about all the guys i talk with knowing they won't judge me. I honestly was my most vulnerable self with u n it's hard not having u when I have a gud news or I m feeling like evaporating again

And I feel it often..the wish to evaporate

Ever since the jaspreet shit happened n then the parth shit. But when the yuehvir shit happened staying there became the cause of wanting to evaporate

All I had was u I was never angry at u no matter wat went wrong or whose sides we were on...maybe the group wasn't for me

But I honestly felt like u were made for mw

Now we won't ever get to see each other again

I might be starting college next month and so much has happened in the last months. So many ppl. So many boys. Janvi n Tanish broke up AGAIN but ion hv anyone to tell it to...I was better before I met u....maybe when we used to hate each other before the trip...it was gud. I was with ppl I didn't call my frnds but I never called anyone my frnd other than u

U were new n u got me hooked to having a fckinggg best frnd

U honestly ruined my life

when i got that offer letter today u were the first person i wanted to tell it to

but when u didnt pick up that call i realised i no longer had u

n when we were on that call i realised it was over. i m ok with how it turned out. i'll remember u as the girl who went against the dress code coz i wanted to wear a saree n she didnt want me to be alone.

. ill rmmbr u as someone who wanted us to get the same colleges n go on trips together. i didnt go to rishikesh. i just couldn't with you. Ill rmmbr u as sm1 who got me to sit on a khachar and made vaishnodevi happened. I’ll miss you I can not not miss you, but I am glad I no longer have you

ion care if u ss it or read it out to ppl on a grp call. ion care about them anymore. they have done shit and the fact that they have the odesity to call it a fight instead of a betrayal. i never wanna see their faces again. i dont wanna have to do anything with you i hate you and tanav the most coz you two were someone i really really thought fck it dont rply this is just for u to know n yall to know that it wasnt a fight . a fight was wat we had in 11th coz i reciprocated to it. this was way worse yudhvir is a pc of shit. jaspreet a two faced bitch. Tanav is just pretend yk i was wrong ion wanna rmmbr u as a frnd i wanna hate u for not standing up for me. for screwing me over. for being the worst best frnd i hv ever ever had. for making me hate myself . for chosing parth over me even though i thought i was your best frnd you can nevr be a gud female frdn u dont know female frndships ion ever ever want u back i deleted all your no.s but i went to a grp to call u

ill get rid of every way to contact u again i hope we never cross paths

[qingxintea]

heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader

heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig

damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages

how oddly specific!

you moment.

TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig

it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable

abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"

and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy

of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all

you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .

i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"

stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."

he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying

"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."

"and how do i know you arent lying?"

you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."

"k"

"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.

sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.

ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.

you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo

its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf

and someone did! not the one you expected though.

"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"

ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .

guys i meant that ironically please

anyway

you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."

he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...

or was that what he wanted to believe?

cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.

he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself

(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)

a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk

then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"

skidoosh

so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes

no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)

you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.

no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.

no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid

albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you

i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you

like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside

"(y/n)."

you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.

"(y/n)?"

you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."

albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then

yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you

yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L

okay time to get serious !

you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.

so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you

"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."

you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently

"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond

"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.

he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.

he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.

"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."

you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."

your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.

"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."

doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.

"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."

"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.

"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."

he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.

yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.

"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.

even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.

and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.

yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Hi! If your still accepting requests I was wondering how would the Bakusquad react to an omega s/o that in public is rather stoic and mature but in private they can get rather submissive and gets easily embarrassed when they get smothered in affection

• Bruh girl

• yeah I got you

• this is literally me

• just even in private I'm not as submissive unless its bedroom stuff

• SO

• tbh it amazes them

• bc in public ur like • _ •

• but in private ur like 😳

• That could be bc of family trauma

• or societal standards

• and not being able to particularly process affection the right way

• you'll never know

• anyway

• these fuckers can't get anything out of you in public

• they don't necessarily try to

• they've picked up you don't particularly enjoy being part of pda in lublic

• but at first they did try to pry reactions out of you

• and they never could elicite a reaction from it

• Occasionally you'll hold someone's hand, most of the time its Bakugou or Kiri. Usually its only if you're nervous around someone or something, a typical Omega response

• You know all your mates are capable of taking care if you if things go south- But Bakugou and Kiri tend to be scarier than the rest of them

• They serve has a good prevention if anyone has their eyes set on you

• But other than that, you're pretty independent in public

• you avoid hugs or compliments

• you avoid holding hands or kisses

• your face is usually blank, unamused or just void

• It was like a whole different person

• Because behind closed doors you were much more submissive

• They had a hunch it was because once you were in a position you didn't need to be in control, you liked to relinquish it

• Like a break

• N they were fine with it

• As alphas, they had the need to provide and protect

• And if they could provide you a place where you could relax, without having to worry about everything, they were going to do so

• You were a lot more affectionate behind closed doors

• If Kaminari asked for cuddles, you'd sit smack in the middle if his lap, arms around his neck

• You'd give Mina a soft kiss before going back to whatever you were doing

• You'd run your hands through Katsuki and Eijis hair

• You'd kiss Seros cheeks while he talked

• You were more open, more vulnerable

• More willing to laugh or cry

• they like that

• but you can't recieve attention as freely as you give it

• and they caught onto it very quickly

• the first time Mina kissed you (she was the first to do so) you were quiet. Like dead silent

• and at first she thought she fucked up, maybe you weren't ready and she goes to apologize

• but then she sees you blushing

• your face is bright red and you're trying to hide behind your hair and sleeves

• and she leans in to brush your hair away and everyone in the room LOOSES it when you s q u e a k

• they're going fucking feral

• "Shut the fuck up!" You huff

"Absolutely dutley NOT!"

Another huff. "I hate you,"

"Aw, princess, don't be mad." Kirishina grins, "it was cute."

"It wasn't fucking cute."

• so they use that to their advantage in the future

• and they SMOTHER you in affect

• and LOWKEY you live for the attention

• but it's hard to accept still lmao

• your heart always beats really fast

• You tend to be a lot more calmer behind closed doors too

• a lot more willing to participate in cuddles and movie night

Nsfw-

• S u b

• it doesn't take much to make you crumble behind closed doors

• Bakugou has a 'voice' and when he uses that voice you have no choice but to listen

• He only has to say one thing and you're on your knees for him

• They have plenty of little accessories for their little omega

• I'm talking collar, ropes, leash, straps, those leather cuffs, and many more 😌

• Most dominant in order

- Bakugou

- Mina

- Kirishima

- Kaminari (he lowkey a bottom sometimes tho)

- Sero (not a bottom but he's super laid back and he prefers his sex on the more laid back side)

• Bakugou is particularly rough (tho there are times he can be gentle. Get you a man that can do both)

• He's got his fair share of kinks and he's pleased (ecstatic really) that you can keep up with them. Enjoy them even

• He LOVES ordering you around

• He also loves asking what you what just so he can see you turn into a stuttering blushy mess. Of course he already knows what you want.

• His favorite parts to kiss during sexy time is your neck and the inside if your thighs

• Mina LOVES domming you

• However she's more of a soft dog and you're less bratty with her

• Like bakugou will spit in your mouth and make you tell him how much you enjoy it, Mina will hold you close and whisper in your ear what she's going to do while she pushes you face down into the bed

• Her favorite place to kiss is your ear and down your back

• Kirishima can either be a diet dom or rough. He usually leans to the soft dom tho. However sometimes he dies snap

• it when he does its glorious

• Mating press is his go to position, usually with your legs or hand tied

• Though other times he'll have you laying on top of him, back on his chest as he fucks into you, hands on your throat or on you hips

• And he'll deadass having you screaming in release

• He's very into body praise however, and he makes sure you know that he thinks you're perfect

• His favorite place to kiss you are your lips and your neck (he enjoys leaving hickeys)

• Kaminari isn't super kinky or very dom, as I said before, sometimes he likes to bottom or sub

• He definitely has a tongue ring 😌

• yall know what that means

• He likes to have you ride him, he likes the view of chest all swollen and red, and your head tilted back in pleasure as you tried to think straight

• he likes it when you stutter and he takes the opportunity to face into you and you're begging for him

• His favorite places to kiss you are your lips and chest

• Sero is a lot more mellow than the rest of them

• He's just really laid back and he wants to make you feel good

• And honestly its a great refresher

• because as much as you like being pushed around and gagged by your Alphas, soft, mellow, vanilla sex is what you need.

• He's soft, fingers tracing your body as his gaze flickers between your face and your sopping cunt

• he loves the feeling of your legs squeezing around his head

• he likes the feeling of his hair in being pulled when he's doing a good job (totally moans when you pull his hair. He 100% has a hair kink)

• He likes feeling the vibrations of your moans or sobs

• he's definitely an overstimulator

• 100% you'll come from he tongue alone at least twice before he'll even think about fucking you

• while he's chill and more on the vanilla side, he's an absolute tease which absolutely leads into the overstimulation kink

• Once you're BEGGING for him to just hurry up and fuck you

• He'll rise from between your legs and grip your thighs, pushing them to your chest and then fucking you

• He also do be a missionary boy

• will occasionally use his tape but not super often (mostly by your request)

• He has a really good knot, top 3 in the group

• I mean they all have good knots, but his is just so satisfying

• And when you're in heat you're definitely pleading for his knot

• That brings me to another aspect

• You're heats are always interesting

• its its only been recent that you've allowed them to share heat

• But when you get heat sick- and you want nothing more than to be stuffed and breeded and used, jts good to have all those alphas

• its good too bc they can shift if some of the others get too tired

• so you're left fucked out and satisfied and they get a break when they need it :)

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 3/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: sorry i haven’t updated in a bit! i had a migraine for almost a week straight so it took me a hot minute to finish this lol but i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! and i want to thank everyone again for all of the positive feedback!! it means the world to me <3

It had now been two months since Gigi met Crystal and she had never enjoyed being on Twitter more than she did now. Sure, her past self said the exact same thing when she had met Jan almost two years ago, and then when they had befriended Jaida, Nicky and Heidi, but this felt so much different. Gigi loved the other four girls to death, but she had made a stronger connection with Crystal, despite knowing her for the least amount of time.  

Whether it was messaging Crystal about nothing, or replying to her tweets with nonsense, Gigi spent almost every minute she was online interacting with her. Gigi could not deny it anymore, she was definitely whipped for this girl she had met on the internet, and the other girls were definitely starting to catch on.

jaida @.essenceofbey 

if gigi doesn’t stop flirting and actually ask crystal out in the next two minutes i’m going to block her

nicky @.nickisdoll

well… au revoir, gigi! 

gigi @.bitchjenner

i have no idea what u guys are talking about! crystal and i are platonic soulmates!

Despite the fact she made her crush on her new friend incredibly obvious, Gigi refused to actually acknowledge it. Jan and Nicky were the most determined to try to get Gigi to crack, but the most Gigi would say that Crystal is just really nice and funny, and would change the subject immediately. Gigi didn’t think she had it in her to tell any of her friends, let alone Crystal how she felt, even though she desperately wanted to, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it yet, no matter how much she wanted to. 

Gigi’s feelings were very new to her. She knew she liked girls, but none of her crushes had ever lasted for more than two weeks. Gigi always saw this as a good thing, as she wasn’t out to anyone besides her mother and the group chat and she planned to keep it that way until she had moved away for college. She never planned on pursuing anyone romantically until she was older. 

Crystal, however, made this promise extremely hard to keep. As unfamiliar the feelings Gigi had whenever she talked to and flirted with Crystal were, she liked them. A lot.

Gigi came to realize that this made her feel vulnerable, which she was also not used to in the slightest. Gigi loved to pretend that she did not have feelings, and if she could, she would keep up that facade for the rest of her life.  

On top of all of this, Gigi felt guilty about keeping this from Jan. Jan had a handful of flings and even a girlfriend since they had become friends, and she told Gigi every single detail about the various girls and the experiences with them, and even cried to Gigi for days when said girlfriend broke up with her. Gigi wanted to give that energy back. 

Gigi weighed the pros and cons of telling Jan. The only con was that Jan would know that Gigi is capable of feeling emotions, which she didn’t like, but she was able to convince herself that it wasn’t that big of a deal. So, when Gigi had gotten home from cheer, she enlightened Jan.  

gigi: hey jan guess what

jan!: hm?

gigi: what if i told u that uhhh 

gigi: ihaveacrushoncrystal

jan!: i would say i’m not surprised. you hated one direction before you met her and you made her tell you everything about them.

gigi: no u are surprised this is brand new information

jan!: so glad you admitted it finally tho <3

jan!: are you gonna ask her out??

gigi: i dont know

gigi: she lives in missouri too so we might not have to do long distance but idk where bc i panicked at the thought of her being close to me and lowkey shut it down

jan!: omg could you imagine if yall were irls

gigi: i would know if she lived in my town… there’s no way i could miss her chaotic energy

jan!: okay but you need to tell her

jan!: i know you hate talking about feelings bc you think you’re a robot but if you can tell me, you have it in you to tell her too. i believe in you and i know the other girls do too.

gigi: i will this weekend. i promise

Gigi did not tell Crystal that weekend. She didn’t tell her the next weekend, either. There were a couple of letters Gigi had written in her notes app confessing her feelings for Crystal, but they never made it out. Every time she went to copy it to send to Crystal, she backed out. 

gigi @.jennerbitch

this is impossible

crystal @.mitamcrystal

what is? ily :(

gigi @.jennerbitch

i dont wanna talk about it

-

Crystal had noticed the shift in Gigi’s energy almost instantly. The girl who was usually confident and witty almost always seemed nervous and somewhat irritated, and would always deny it and change the subject if Crystal mentioned it. 

Crystal couldn’t help but be upset about this; she was extremely emotional and took almost everything to heart! Her brain had instantly come up with the conclusion that Gigi figured out she liked her, and was uncomfortable with it. Deep down, Crystal knew this didn’t make sense, as Gigi would still flirt with her occasionally. Gigi would’ve stopped if Crystal liking her made her uncomfortable, right?

The old Gigi came back one day. It had only been two weeks since this had started, but to Crystal, it felt much longer. 

crystal @.mitamcrystal

i kinda wanna dye my hair again… thoughts?

gigi @.jennerbitch

omg yes dm me now

gigi: crystal crystal cryssieeeeee

gigi: what color do u want to dye ur hair???

gigi: i think green would look nice!

crystal: i was thinking pink but i think i’m on team green now

gigi: hehe good <3

Crystal grinned. She wasn’t sure why this in particular made Gigi go back to normal, she found it extremely odd but she was not going to complain. Crystal had missed this.

When she headed to the store to get the hair dye, Crystal updated Gigi on everything happening; the stray cat she saw, the fact that the only non-natural hair color available was neon green for some bizarre reason, even the fact that Crystal knew the cashier from school. Gigi knew Crystal was doing this because she had missed feeling close to her, and Gigi loved every single minute of it. 

Crystal stopped updating her when it was time to actually dye her hair, saying she didn’t want her phone to be green. Gigi understood but was sad; she wanted to keep talking to Crystal to make up for the two weeks they had gone without talking for more than ten minutes at a time. She told herself that it was okay, they were back to normal and as long as she didn’t fuck up again, she could have Crystal back for good.

A couple hours later, Crystal finally returned.

crystal: it’s done!!!! 

gigi: ooooh lemme see!!!!

gigi: only if u want to show me ofc.. i dont want u to be uncomfortable.

crystal: hold on… i need to find a snapchat filter that makes me look pretty 

gigi: :(( i bet u look pretty no matter what

crystal: ehhhh 

gigi: im right!!!

crystal: what if… you sent me a selfie back… aha… unless?

gigi: i think i could arrange that… it’s only fair!

crystal: OMG YAY!!!

crystal: ok here it is! hi :)

When the image loaded, Gigi’s stomach dropped. Not because Crystal was ugly, she was the complete opposite. There was no doubt that Crystal was beautiful, even her teeth were perfect. Her brown eyes were rich and soft, and her hair was shoulder-length and very curly. The neon green looked great on her. She had even found a filter that put little dinosaurs on her rosy cheeks, Gigi thought that filter was made for Crystal.

gigi: CRYSTAL!!!! ur so stunning holy fuck

gigi: but i dont think ur gonna think the same about me

Gigi was not going to let herself back out this time. It was now or never. She sent her selfie in return, preparing for the worse. Crystal was not going to be happy.

crystal: uh

crystal: what the fuck

Gigi’s stomach had dropped because she knew Crystal from school.

[solcheeky]

From dearest bubble bath anon: a bulleted scenario for stoner/neighbour hyuck who came over his friend's house to take a shower but accidentally found them in a bubble bath (dw not fully naked prolly wearing a bathing suit or whteva). so he gets invited in but his legs are too long to fit inside the tub so he cages his friend in with his legs to get them closer and they have a friend to lovers moment(suggestive content or not - up to u)

cont. (Idm if u make the reader female/male/Gender neutral) whtever makes u feel comfortable I’ll read it regardless bcs it’ll obvi be the best!!

warning: mature content

a/n, let me just add context: you and hyuck have been best-friends since you were kids and now he lives next door to you in university. except, you really don’t know what the use is of the wall that separates the two of your spaces because he’s always over at yours or vice versa. at this point there’s no such thing as boundaries. ahem hyuck thinks boundaries are for pussies. so, you’re both at such a high level of comfortableness that hyuck takes shits with the door open and you don’t need to leave a room to get changed. so much so, people sometimes thing yall are dating—but that’s not the point. you guys are just cool like that, okay continue

“hey buttface! your door is unlocked again!” donghyuck calls into your apartment the moment he steps in

seeing the lack of your appearance in the living room, he slips off his shoes (carelessly nudging them out of the way) and throws his jacket and backpack into your sofa

pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie, he first makes his way to the kitchen, “my dumb shower is busted again, and I need to use yours!” but his words echo in the emptiness of the room

“y/n?” leaving his hoodie on your counter he makes his way deeper into your apartment, but this time, speaking up a little louder. “I was going to go bother mark but you’re just so much closer so-” donghyuck slips an arm out one sleeve of his t-shirt letting it half rest on his shoulder

then stops to stand in front of your closed bedroom door. “you’re asleep, aren’t you?” he sighs under his breath

“whatever,” taking one step back his hand naturally finds the doorknob to the bathroom behind him, “you can’t say I didn’t ask.”

then he swiftly takes a step backwards into the bathroom and closes the door in front of him.

pulling the rest of his t-shirt over his face he spins around only to find you under a sea of bubbles occupying the tub, eyes closed and headphones on

“jeez!” donghyuck jumps in his spot, clutching his top to his chest at your totally unexpected appearance, “y/n!” 

you open your eyes to see the shirtless boy backed up against the bathroom door

with the music you had blasting in your ears, you weren’t surprised you hadn’t heard him at all up until this point

“oh, hyuck?” you casually lift one side of your headphones off, giving him the weirdest look. “what are you doing here?”

“you scared me.” he says, shoulders relaxing at the sight of just your innocent self. “I thought you were something else.”

chucking his shirt on the closed toilet seat, he runs his fingers through his hair and rubs his chest with the other.

“rude.” you joke flicking a little bit of bath-water his way

but he swiftly dodges with a bubble of laughter

“what are you doing here?” you pull your headphones off completely and donghyuck helps you place them next to the sink, “I thought you were at johhny’s?” 

“firstly, learn to lock your door.” 

you splash more water at him

“and secondly, I need to use your shower.” he says so blatantly, “my one’s out again.” 

you scoff at him, “uh. I don’t know if you can tell, but it’s kind of occupied at the moment.” you lift your hands up at him a little dumbfounded.

he always does this; invade what little you had left of alone time.

“so?” donghyuck unbuckles his belt and shrugs, “just move over a little bit.”

“nooo, no hyuck” you groan in annoyance, “please, don’t be a dickhead. I wanted to relax”

“and I want to get clean.” he rebuts kicking his jeans off in your direction

they land with a puff of air on the floor adjacent to the tub

“jesus hyuck, you smell like cat piss” 

“we hotboxed johnny’s bathroom. and no I don’t, my clothes do.” 

you give him a dry look.

“you’re overreacting.” he whines. you always chat the most shit about how much smoking smells but do it anyways, it was stupidly cute.

now, donghyuck stood hands on hips, in the middle of your bathroom in only his boxers

he looks at you expectantly as if he were waiting for you to make some room

but you warn him with your eyes not to step any closer 

donghyuck sniffs, lifting his nose high and nodding his head continuously, “okay. alright,” he presses his tongue into the inside of his cheek, “fine.” 

just when you think he’s going to back away, he takes two big strides over towards the tub

“no, hyuck, you fat shit- don’t!” you grab onto his wrist when he tries to stabilize himself with the rim of the tub

you start laughing when his knees send a wave of water up your chin

“quit being a wuss.” then he’s already half in the water with you and laughing all the same

“I’m not! you’re just- hyuck!”

“stay still!”

“your legs are too fucking long!-”

“you love my legs.”

“not when they’re in my bath! g- hyuck!-”

donghyuck pulls at your wrist to yank you forward to make enough room for him to slip behind you and get you tucked perfectly between his stupid long legs.

clasp still around your wrist, he folds your arm against your chest from behind to push you backwards into his frame

“there,” his bare chest felt hot against your back. “we fit.”

“I hate you.” once he lets go, you rub your wrist acting as if it hurt

so donghyuck takes your hand and laces his fingers with yours before pulling it under the water. “you’re such a liar.” he likes to think you say things like that on purpose

you squeeze his hand from underneath, he wasn’t completely wrong.

soon enough, you settle comfortably against his body, moving your shoulders a little whilst donghyuck adjusts to your weight. 

“see.” donghyuck smiles smug against the shell of your ear. “we should do this more often.”

you sigh in plain annoyance, but regardless, close your eyes and lean your head back until it rests comfortably on his shoulder

“you’re so annoying” you exhale

donghyuck laughs and you realize you love the sound of it so close to your ears

“yeah, whatever.” his smiling lips reach down until they press gently into the dip of your shoulder

when he pulls away, his touch leaves a glimmer of heat under your skin you can’t ignore

it isn’t the first time donghyuck has kissed you. but it was definitely the first time you had felt anything more

usually it was a peck on the back of your hand, or an annoying smooch into your cheek—never one into the bare skin of your shoulder

lips lingering a little too long, donghyuck almost forgets that he can’t leave kisses across the rest of your skin, so instead he leans his head on the fist he kept propped up by his elbow on the edge of the tub

he generously lets his eyes trail down all the spots he wished his lips could mark

his chest ached at how vulnerably good you looked with your eyes closed and neck exposed

if only you were his

“jaehyun asked me if you were single.” donghyuck speaks up

so out of the blue it takes a moment to process what he’s even said

..he wants to talk about jaehyun?

you find it funny how he tells you that whilst sharing a damn bath with you and shamelessly holding your hand.

donghyuck waits for your response, his brows twitching at the way you seemed incredibly unfazed by the fact that the hottest guy you both knew wanted to know if you were single 

it made him wish he could read minds

“y/n-”

“shh. I’m trying to relax.” sure, jaehyun was insanely attractive. but there’s a reason why you cuddle with donghyuck every night.

at your reply, donghyuck shuts up, silently glad your eyes are still closed because he can’t stop the smug smile tugging at his lips

he releases the fist from under his cheek, dipping it below the surface of the water to draw circles on the highest point of your thigh

maybe he did mean as much to you as he thought he did…

“did you tell him I was?” you suddenly ask (too nonchalantly for his liking)

…or not. 

he frowns at your words, what was that supposed to mean?

donghyuck slips his fingers higher till they almost reach your hips and pinches, hard

“hyuck!” immediately, your eyes snap open and your hand shoots down to grip onto his pinching fingers.

donghyuck doesn’t expect to enjoy your reaction that much 

but he did.

something in him falls so deep at the way you jolt under his fingers and he can’t help but sink his teeth into the inviting dip of your shoulder right there, glistening with wet and so close under his chin

his plump lips latch onto your skin as he bites gently into your flesh and your hand quickly moves out of the water to the nape of his neck

a wave of heat shivers down your body and you fist at the hairs on the back of his neck

donghyuck has definitely crossed some new kind of boundaries.

for a moment, donghyuck snaps out of his adrenaline high, his breath evidently heavy against your skin as his bite leaves a lingering tingle of desire 

thinking maybe he’s gone a little too far, he tries to retract the other hand he had still laced with yours and simultaneously pull his nose away from your tempting shoulder

but you don’t let him.

your fingers squeeze his hand in the depths of the bath and your palm stays hot against the back of his neck

right, donghyuck assures himself, fuck boundaries.

this time, donghyuck bites painfully slower into the slope closer to your neck

it would’ve hurt if you weren’t so distracted by the burning feeling melting in the pit of your stomach when the hand he had pinching your hip slipped between your thighs

you exhale a shaky breath

and donghyucks heart swells

he adores the way your head rolls further back into his shoulder and the way you whimper so delicately into the shell of his ear

you were so fucking addicting

following up the curve of your neck, donghyuck finally gets a taste up your jaw until your hand slips from the nape of his neck to his cheek to guide his mouth to yours

in a moment so undefined, so boundless and so intimate, he kisses you for the first time

his lips caressing yours in a crashing wave of lust as he steals your breath

hunger and infatuation bleeds from his lips you almost drown in it, barely being able to keep up when the kneading of his lips turns wet with tongue

a moan gets muffled in the back of your throat and donghyuck slowly moves back

he doesn’t stray too far though, forehead against yours and nose so near you could breathe in his breath

“you taste gross.” you mutter, lips still bumping into his.

you blame johnny’s influence for the thick, bitter aftertaste donghyuck left on your tongue

donghyuck breaks out into a smile and his laughter echoes against the bathroom tiles

“fine.” he kisses your cheek first

then his lips find their way back down your jaw, “here okay?” 

you nod when his nose buries into your neck

“good.” he mumbles applying more pressure with the hand he had between your thighs

another moan erupts from your throat when he rubs more confidently against your front

“I didn’t give jaehyun an answer.” his words tumble hotly across the span of your neck, “told him I would ask you first.”

you can barely let out a whimper

“what should I tell him?” he lifts his hips against your back and you squeeze his hand

“what would you like me to tell him?” he corrects himself

“I-” 

you can’t think anymore when his teeth begin to punch into your neck again

“you what?” he delicately kisses the blossoming marks he’s branded into your skin

“I’m,” you don’t know what comes over you when you say it. but you do. “I might have some time for him”

donghyuck chuckles maliciously into your skin; even trapped under his touch you dared to be such a brat

he hums amused into your neck and your hand falls weak from his cheek to his jaw

“oh you will?” he bites into your skin and your back arches

your breath trembles but you challenge him either way, “maybe.”

with the hand between your legs, donghyuck harshly binds you backwards, pushing you impossibly further into his frame and letting his hips grind harder into you from behind

“you’re going to regret that.” 

end. 

(oh god I love how you wrote your request bc I know for sure you read my guidelines and how you gave me a plot line but simultaneously kept options open for me :0 anon, you’re great. also I left it up to you as to whether the reader is undressed or not ;* hah)

[normal-thoughts-official]

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[lukefluffandstuff]

youngblood; thoughts

youngblood

fave angsty teen babby

CAUSE I’M JUST A DEAD MAN WALKING TONIGHT

there’s something about luke’s voice that makes me so fml

i think it’s the rasp

like

the rasp

want you back

luke’s falsetto will always get me

tbh this is one of my least faves but it has that repeatability and i fuckin hate myself for replaying this over and over and over

lie to me

;;;;;;; literally no words

everything about it renders me speechless because it itself is an entity, like a timeless queen

it’s so heartbreaking but it’s like they’re trying to hold on and keep themselves together

AND HARMONIES

I COULDN’T HEAR THEM AT THE CONCERT BUT THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

lie to me is raw and vulnerable and it’s one of those songs where you really need to take a moment to let it sink in because if you let it pass you by you’re doing it dirty

“now i wish we never met” dAMN STRAIGHT BISH IF WE NEVER MET I WOULDN’T BE HAVING ALL THESE UNNECESSARY EMOTIONS

there’s an innocence to it that i can’t place my finger on

valentine

my Gothic Vampire Baby

it took me awhile but it grew on me and now i’m grooving

this takes gothic sexual to a whole new level 

now i want to be a seductress 

talk fast

tEcHNo bEaTS

it’s so disco and shoulder wiggles

calum

cAlum

damn straight i’ll give you second i’ll give you a minute a day a month a year a decade my life

i mean

ahem

during the bridge, luke looked like he was going to lead us to liberation and i was like LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL TAKE ME WITH YOU

moving along

is it bad if you’re naked on your sofa???

calum baby anything’s fine

but this song is so like

it’s filled with so many regrets and guilt

but it’s also really problematic, and i feel that that’s the beauty of it because humans are generally problematic and complex in nature

and it’s natural to be really toxic particularly when it comes to relationships

wOw i’m getting real philosophical up here

if walls could talk

this is like some secret rendezvous and i don’t mind getting down

“not everything is so primitive” luke don’t

lyrically, this song is the most cryptic because i can’t seem to get them down

but it’s mainly revolving around want and longing and lust(?)

OKAY BUT IT’S SUPER GROOVY AND I AM DIGGING THIS

a lot of people say that they prefer sgfg and i somewhat agree because sgfg was a real emotional rollercoaster

but youngblood is actually giving us new and young blood, and it’s really different from their previous albums and i think it’s great that they are a band that explores a multitude of genres

better man

straight up i thought

2013 ed sheeran lyrics with 2017 ed sheeran beat/melody

it’s definitely more poppy and sounds like something 1d would release - NO OFFENSE by the way, i love 1d it’s just a comment

it’s not one of those songs which would make me think or want to hear it once more

more

O K A Y

THE STARTING IS A MOVIE

GETTING INTO YOUR CAR AND REVVING THE ENGINE AND ROLLING OUT OF YOUR DRIVEWAY

ughhhhhh this is so good

i don’t even know how to put this into words 

it’s one of those songs where it rides on the passion and emotions and you really got to f e e l the music to know

sort of like spitting out random words in order convey how you feel about this song

why won’t you love me

this one really hit me

and it’s so direct with its feelings

it doesn’t hide any hidden messages or feelings whatsoever it’s really just coming out and asking why won’t you love me

particularly when the two have gone through so much

and you think you have a connection but the other just leaves and rejects you

and you get stuck in that turmoil and start wondering why

woke up in japan

oh wow this like some acid trip

i’m imagining technicolour backgrounds

and sensual kisses and touch

i want to wake up in japan like this

empty wallets

this already feels emo

UNEXPECTEDLY UPBEAT

SPEND IT ALL ON ME

god make this my anthem what

MICHAEL

HELLO???????

BELIEVE IN ME B

ghost of you

okay you know it’s getting serious when you hear the picking of the strings

the piano!!!!!!

i imagine someone running in a field for some reason

amnesia pt 2 but the cousin who’s more mature and is looking back on memories and tries to suppress it

this doesn’t feel like a breakup, but more of the other passed on without any warning and now they have to deal with it

yeah sure “ghost” but it’s one of those songs where you have to move on simply because nature tells you to do so

monster among men

STARTING WITH MICHAEL YES MY BOI

the beat is weird

it keeps changing and i’m like eh???????

it slows;;;;;;

i am confused

props to ashton for keeping up with these weird beats thoooo

this song wasn’t what i was expecting 

hmmmm it requires a couple of listens before i can really get into it i feel

meet you there

BITCH BODY WORMS FOR DAYS

SOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD

i don’t even know how to classify this kind of rock but it’s so fhaiwuel ahahahahaha kill me

this is so groovy

drumsdrumdrumsdrumsdrums ashton fml

babylon

OH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

this is sensual body rolls at its finest

CALUM FUCK ME UP

oml i had some expectations for this song and THEY DID NOT DISAPPOINT

(i know the target version has two extra songs) but this is good way to finish this album

vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never dies

THIS IS CALUM’S SONG GUYS

they’re really taking this whole new album thing to a new level

i want to go higher

such good music we’ve been spoilt

yall i love 5sos and now i just want to implode and explode and combine all the pieces to c o m b u s t

this album’s definitely more mature in the sense where the self-titled album was all about teen love and want and youth, sgfg tackling issues that youth faces, but this is matured where it reflects their age, it’s sort of wild in its own way, but it also has that emotional turmoil where you’re left wondering why you’re so alone and why love doesn’t work out

[babiewonho]

can u write an essay on kihyun now please don't just saw beat root thanks QUEEN uwu

kihyun’s personality is so funny and contradictory to me lmao like he has such a big personality and um wow i just got distracted bc i put on drew barrymore by sza and it was playing at half speed bc i just played the COME GET YALL JUICE vine at half speed but anyways

first and foremost i think kihyun is very Capable like kihyun is like. so good at being an adult like he just knows how to do everything it’s so weird it’s like he was born just Knowin. like he’s just so confident and he’s good at speaking most of the time and like he said he would go to vocal lessons while working two jobs that weren’t even close to each other like he’d have to take the train and he’s so determined even going to school like he’s been doing while promoting as an idol like he just has a really type a personality and he wants to be good at everything and he has the drive to achieve that as much as any human can it’s very respectable and imo a very attractive quality like i feel like if i asked him how to do anything he’d know for some reason

he’s very charming and he knows it and sometimes it’s greasy LMAO like when they had to do the pick up lines in that video and mx were dying in the bg but it’s very effective i think that’s really good for networking etc and he’s so friendly to other ppl he acts like he already knows them but he isn’t like…overstepping boundaries which is imo the way to become friends with someone wh said one time that to get close with ppl you just have to act close i think and that’s what kihyun does he seems very sociable and friendly and easy to talk to like he makes an effort to keep the conversation going and get on the speaker’s level/help them understand the topic 

tying in with him being rly capable he’s so good at cleaning n cooking like why is he so damn responsible lmao share some of those skills w/ me…wtf…but like wow that’s rly a whole adult i bet he even does his taxes on time but he takes his work so seriously and like he’s not even a dancer but he puts so much focus n energy into dance and it shows he’s so impressive…i…i hate it

so! i think what makes ppl misunderstand kihyun is he has this weird like…sharp outside/soft inside thing going on…coughs tsundere   but by that i mean  he’s not Genuinely mean   but he plays along well with others esp 93 line they have a very cozy n roasty dynamic going on and he’s quick to tease others in a friendly way unfortunately ppl take that as ONE personality archetype the “savage” just like shakespeare invented and that ONE personality trait supercedes ALL OTHERS n suddenly kihyun hates everyone like false…hello he’s just bein a scorpio (he’s born n like the First day of saggitarius but he himself has said he’s a scorpio n the time he was born rly indicates that so im just going with scorpio these   are the Facts) he ALSO…isn’t very comfortable with “mushy” stuff he’s fine giving compliments but when they get into genuine emotional things it’s not that he gets weirded out  it’s more like   it’s okay until He has to get mushy abt his own feelings at least from what i noticed

i was actually surprised bc kihyun is somewhat easily embarrassed and i didn’t expect him to be so nurturing on an emotional level like hugging changkyun when he cried, he sympathy cries w/ wonho lmao, comforting wonho when he cried during that one v live. i thought he’d be more of a supportive but awkward type in that situation but he actually empathizes really well. that’s why i think kihyun’s personality is so like  contrary there’s all these traits that seem to be the opposite of each other but melt together just fine in his personality

but he actually has a very nourishing presence he just seems to have like a different rule for himself and he doesn’t like to get all deep or w/e that’s so scorpio of him…it embarrasses him lol he doesn’t like emotional vulnerability if he thinks it opens him up in a negative way but here he goes again with the contradictions- he’s emotionally open with children and pets. he’s amazing with children and animals n feels a lot of love n affection towards them as well as the members but honestly i’ve practically raised my little brother from infancy to like four years old and i have very high standards for child care but kihyun takes such pride in his work as always n he luvs the Babies so he is very mm meticulous abt it. i got stressed when the kid’s heads weren’t supports while getting sleepy in their chairs n then the moment i got stressed kihyun’s hand wld fly out to support their heads and he held them and esp the sick babie :(( even when he cried kihyun didn’t get panicked as many ppl too and hand him off to one of the more experienced ladies he comforted the babie n held it n also

during mxray season 2 when they met the kids again he got all worried abt i cant remember which kid it was…jongwon! i think he was worried shownu wld hurt him by accident in the bounce house thingie lmao which i was worried abt too so he was like be gentler and my heart…she soared he rly cares abt them :(( in a very genuine way n also! at the batting cages v live there were kitties and he, wonho, and ck were worried abt them getting hurt. he’s just a very caring n loving person and he does engage in a lot of skinship like they said on the psychology analysis part of mxray but i think rather than physical affection he shows love through actions like waking the members up and finding stuff for wonho etc ordering the other members around n leading them in the right direction he definitely has a BIG leadership quality n a desire to be in control but he doesn’t let himself like usurp shownu’s position lmao he just relishes the times when he gets power

i always say it’s more like shownu, minhyuk, and kihyun are three coleaders and i think they all compliment each other extremely well and kihyun is a rly good mc esp in things like mon happy radio he and minhyuk are rly entertaining and work together really well which is rly cool

he rly rly loves the members in a very fond way they make him smile a lot and what i think is so funny is i think kihyun originally has more of a tendency in situations like that there’s something historically in comedy called a “straight man” (i know) where someone else acts like an idiot and this person basically doesnt find it amusing n acts serious or upset kasjfsf and i thought kihyun wld be like that but i think mx just has such a goofy energy and kihyun often engages in the goofiness but that seems to me like something that probably changed when he met the boys i can’t seem him being like that arnd other ppl but i think he’s very fond of their dynamic and embraces it now like he laughs in this Specific way when the members all get Ridiculous like he’s in fond disbelief like when they kept singing the UFC song!!! in no exit like he’s lovingly saying “these idiots” in his head it’s really cute tbh he’s just very often Fondly Exasperated like when mh ate the whipped cream at the end of that one vid/when ck ate food of the plates from other ppl in mxray you can just tell he has so much love for his members 

as for his relationship with 93 line that’s just pure love n friendship to the point of comfortably making fun of each other n i really hate when ppl act like it’s genuine hatred bc you can’t make jokes like that with people if you genuinely dislike them they’re just all three very comfortable with and fond of each others and build off each other very well comedically and the teams switch up as to who is making fun of who and like?? if they rly hated each other things like mon happy radio with mh and kh and the times when mh was absent and hw was the replacement would be possible. they get along fine for that and it’s like an HOUR long of just them together and they make jokes and they compliment each other like anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows they don’t actually hate each other but :) had 2 say that

CAPABILITY ASIDE kihyun has these moments of hilarious like…airheadedness   as demonstrated in aleena’s amazing gifset of kihyun being dumb. he’s so smart but he just lapses on the most ridiculous things aksjfasf it’s so funny  kihyun, staring at a seatbelt: does this go around my neck   is this the Neck Belt  Oh..  just youthful naivete which the other members bring up sometimes n his face when they got their first win :(( cld it be…kihyun is a soft babie!! it Cld !! :D

also vocal wise i’m not a Professional or anything but he’s rly one of the best vocals in kpop like breath support and not singing with strained notes and vocal agility he’s just so good he and shownu are actually different imo than a lot of kpop vocals who just sing n half of it’s like  rhythmic yelling lmao like he and shownu can both sing BALLADS well and with CONTROL they’re so incredible and kihyun has a pretty wide range imo it’s very healthy singing with lots of support 

anyways i wrote WAY more than i thought i was gonna be able to abt him there’s deadass like 1.7k words right here lmao like yall readin this? eyes emoji anyways i hope this makes some sense it’s 4 am…anyways i think kihyun’s personality is fascinating and i feel like i have quite a few personality traits in common with him but also i wanna arm wrestle him so damn bad im not even reading back through this and checking it’s too much LMAO

[ficswithrimi]

AIGHT RIMI BUT TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME you best be answering 1-100 too cuz u love me ❤️❤️❤️😎🤪

erkmgaenr;gW i WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU TO RETALIATE T_T

1:Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Does Jaehyun from NCT count? If not, no ;;;

2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Sure? Idk who hurt me last lmao

3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

A cat lolol

4:What’s something you really want right now?

To go to KCON NY to see NCT ;;;;; 

5:Are you afraid of falling in love?

Actually, yes? I think it’ll make me more vulnerable than what I’m already am lol

6:Do you like the beach?

Not really. The humidity causes my hair to become frizzy ;;

7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Nope. 

8:What’s the background on your cell?

LMAO Jaehyun.

9:Name the last four beds you were sat on?

My bed x4

10:Do you like your phone?

I have an iPhone X. I actually do like it.

11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Hell no. I’m supposed to be preparing to move to Korea this year but that’ll have to wait until 2019.

12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Uh... one of my coworkers, I think?

13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

A poodle! 

14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional. Physical pain is guaranteed to go away eventually. 

15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

A zoo!!!!!!!

16:Are you tired?

I’m always tired.

17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first contact is me lmao so 22 years.

18:Are they a relative?

I guess? Am I related to myself?

19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

HELLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOO!! Miss me with that bullshit.

20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Uhhhh Christmas?

21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Probably not.

22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Refer to my answer on question 19.

23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

3.

24:Is there a certain quote you live by?

There are many worlds. But they share the same sky. One sky, one destiny - Kingdom Hearts (I see it as we’re all equal and live under the same sky so no one is above another, ya know?)

25:What’s on your mind?

Why KH3 gotta be released in 2019 when Nomura told me 2018. He playin these GAMES! 

26:Do you have any tattoos?

No, but I’m getting my first tattoo dedicated to SHINee next month!

27:What is your favorite color?

Blue, black, pink, and mint green!

28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

When Jae and I make things official lmao

29:Who are you texting?

@uexe

30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

The last person I kissed was when I was 15 and that was only once so no.

31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

All the time.

32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

@uexe

33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Lowkey? Yes... 

34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

All theeeeee time.

35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

Okay and? Lmao.

36:Were you single on Valentines Day?

As always. 

37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Nopeeeeee.

38:What do your friends call you?

Karimi, Rimi, shorty, or bitch (in a friendly way lmao)

39:Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes, my entire job. 

40:Have you ever cried over a text?

Idk? Probably have.

41:Where’s your last bruise located?

Upper inner thigh.

42:What is it from?

Me shaving my bikini line lmaooo 

43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Today.

44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My dad.

45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yeah, these black wedges I have.

46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Yep.

47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

NOPE!! My hair is my baby. 

48:Do you make supper for your family?

Occasionally.

49:Does your bedroom have a door?

Bedrooms don’t have doors?

50:Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, YouTube, Google

51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Yes.

52:Does anything on your body hurt?

The bruise on my inner thigh lol.

53:Are goodbyes hard for you?

Yes!

54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Idk?

55:How is your hair?

A mess.

56:What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my messages from @ninetynine-dreams

57:Do you think two people can last forever?Of course!

58:Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was like 11 so yes lmao.

59:Green or purple grapes?

Purple!

60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Idk? Probably when I see my friend who lives in Korea next year?

61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yes.

62:When will be the next time you text someone?

Now. 

63:Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Preparing to go out to get mexican food and margaritas with my best friend.

64:What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleep.

65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

My coworker lmaoooo. Omg yall, I told him I loved him yesterday (as a joke) and you should’ve seen his face. He was shookt.

66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Jaehyun ^^

67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Not yet lmao.

68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Wow, I really love taekwondo. (I started classes yesterday lol)

69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yep! 

70:How many windows are open on your computer?

Two.

71:How many fingers do you have?

Ten lol.

72:What is your ringtone?

Good Evening - SHINee

73:How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 22. 

74:Where is your Mum right now?

Hopefully in Heaven

75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Sora is a video game character from Kingdom Hearts and therefore it is physically impossible for me to be with him.

76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope.

77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yep.

78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Seventh grade? This dude named John lolol he was a fuckboiii

79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Does me as a baby and my parents count??

81:How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Just Jaehyun.

82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Nope.

83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Tell Jae to call me and then I will.

84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Probably my best friend.

85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes.

86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I went to a movie with a bunch of hot guys and left with none of their numbers ayeeee.

87:Who was your last received call from?

My dad.

88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Nah, I’m not heartless.

89:What is something you wish you had more of?

mONEY?!

90:Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yep!

91:Do you sleep with your window open?

Nah!

92:Do you get along with girls?

Of course. Girls are cool.

93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Not really?

94:Does sex mean love?

HELL NO!

95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Yeah.

96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

 Nope.

97:Did you sleep alone this week?

I sleep alone every week.

98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Of course. Kpop, reading, my friends, dancing, my playstation 4, KINGDOM HEARTS, my family,etc.

99:Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. Jaehyun is the love of my life but when I first saw him in The Seventh Sense I was lit like “Lolololol who’s the curly haired kid? Why you let them do that to you, son? Where’s Ten? That’s bae.” Then Firetruck came out and my hoe ass was like “WHO’S THAT ONE?! -points at Jaehyun-” and I’ve been falling slowly for him ever since 2016. Now I don’t have any other biases lmao.

100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Idek man. Probably my coworker/close friend Jasmine.

OKAY IM DONE WHEW!

[worldofsurvivorcomoros-blog]

VERONICA’S JURY QUESTIONS

okay, so i wanna start this off by saying that i really do love the both of you a lot and i had so much fun playing with the both of you <3 secondly, i didn’t 100% show just how genuinely upset i was when i was voted out because i wanted to be nice and non dramatic and what not BUT since we did tribal so early in the day i had time to wipe my tears, get over the sadness i felt, and then let my sadness fester into petty bitter extraness. so with that being said i know i promised regan my vote already but that’s off the table so i can i have some sort of leverage to get y’all to answer/do my three part questions/demands. which i know y’all weren’t wondering but in spirit of being petty i specifically chose 3 parts because i got 3rd place. hehe.

PART ONE – ROP! because i was in the final 3 with y’all, i didn’t get a ROP from either of you and so i want one now, and yes flattery will get you everywhere but i want a genuine 100% honest thoughts about me and memories in the game and whatnot shit which should be simple enough and like it doesn’t HAVE to be at least 300 words….but it’d be nice :////

PART TWO – POEM! i want a poem written about me and i want it to rhyme preferably not half assed and in good length but this one is very iffy just because if its super short but really good then it will be okay and i just wanna smile and or nod my head in agreement so do with that what you will

PART THREE – QUESTIONS! just so i’m not a completE troll in my jury statement/question thing i will ask some genuine questions about your game play and etc.

–– REGAN

1. you said time and time again that you wanted to see me in the f2 with you and you always talked about loyalty between us. if you would have won the final immunity, would you have taken me?

2. you’re possibly the most emotional player i’ve ever encountered……..ever. why should i give you my vote when you let your feelings cloud your judgement and actions in game?

3. what would you say are the strengths and weaknesses in andrew’s gameplay?

–– ANDREW

1. ok so forgive me bc u already know i don’t know much about survivor, but explain to me in detail about your specific strategic side of your gameplay because from how i see it the only truly 100% strategic thing (and not just social) you did was use the sapphire idol, and even that didn’t go as you planned, so to me as of right now i only see your entire gameplay as – talk to everyone and then rely on winning comps or youre out

2. as you said in your speech, you had it easy pre-merge because you were always on the winning tribe, but i still don’t see why i should vote for someone who only really had to play and do heavy gameplay towards the middle to end versus regan who didn’t have the cushion of immunity pre-merge and had to work her way to the end. can you explain to me why i should still vote for you although you didn’t work as hard as regan?

3. why didn’t you tell me you were voting me out in pms like i had asked you the night before :///

IN CONCLUSION –– i really do love you both as people and a large part of why comoros is my favorite survivor game i’ve played is due to you both and i don’t make any promises to not make half joking/half genuine bitter comments about this game (esp to u andrew) but i wish you both the best of luck and i will be voting based on responses to my question/statements and to others and from what i know about each of your gameplays and hopefully YALL don’t hate me after this extra ass mess that i had to do bc like if i’m not gonna win or get the runner up spot then i’m gonna have fun and being the bitter bitch that i am

ROP: You were my closest ally in this game and you know that. I felt like karen and andrew were on the top of our alliance and we were on the bottom so I'm glad you and I flipped it was the right move. And thank you so much for listening to me in the karen vote. Means a lot because without you I could not have done it. It would've went to rocks. it changed our games for the better.

Poem: I hope I won't lose your vote because of what I wrote. The fact that you're mad makes me really sad. Remember before you went you promised me your vote is that really what you meant?? I cannot write well, I'm sorry writing a good poem to you would take a spell. I really think you will keep your word I hope, or else I don't know how to cope.

Questions 

1) yes I would have taken you. If that meant I would have lost 9-0 (or something idk I'm bad at counting) then that really sucks. But when I tell people I'm sticking with them I will. I was very loyal to you and daisy and I only voted daisy out because I had to choose. I hoped to win immunity so it would be us 2 like we always planned. I felt that we were on a more equal playing field and plus I wanted to see you at the end with me

2) I'm sorry that I was Emotional I guess my feelings do affect my game a lot. but nothing anyone said to me or did to me personally affected who I was voting out. Karen was always extremely kind to me and I have zero reason to hate her. same with daisy. but I had to vote them both out. I did what was best for my game. so why I would say emotional things, I wouldn't act on it. or  else my game would've gone differently and Luke would've gone earlier because I was upset by things said by him. Veronica I may have been mad at you due to another game but I didn't let that affect my final 2 with you despite saying it might. you were always someone I wanted to be loyal to.

3) Strengths: -Very good physically. tried so hard in every challenge like he even brought his laptop to class in order to win final 4 immunity. that's commitment -Commitment. as I mentioned before he never gave up even though after Karen's vote he may have felt dead in the water. he tried to convince us to keep him and also never gave up on immunity and had an immunity streak going until the end. -Loyalty: he was extremely loyal. I don't think that until the final 4 he was planning on voting out you me or karen. he wanted it to be us 4 in the final 4 and it hurt him that Karen left. like emotionally not his game play really.

RoP - Whew I really hate what I ended up doing to you in this game. And I don’t think any amount of apologizing will be able to make it better. But I am glad that you still want to continue this friendship because I very much do as well. When we both first saw we were not only in this game together but on the SAME TRIBE, it was hilarious. We were both freaking out and made sure we were gonna have each other’s back. You were not only an awesome ally, but an awesome friend to have as well. Like I told Daisy in her RoP, it’s become more difficult lately for me to kind new people I could really befriend in games because it’s the same people playing a lot of the time. And while we were friends already, this game helped out a lot. We were always so excited in PMs together, and honestly one of my favorite memories of this game is gonna be the call we did for the checkers challenge where we just kept cracking jokes about the mess that was happening. I loved playing with you and getting closer to you this game, and I really look forward to continuing the friendship. Thank you for being the ally and friend that you were, even though I ended up doing what I did at the very end. Ily mom <3

Poem -

Veronica, my mom You are the bomb diggity. Yes With a goodnight streak You make everyone weak Memes for days Queen of the gays Lady Gaga who?_Veronica_

Roses are red Veronica is our queen Her messages will light up any laptop screen She won Mystic Falls And we march down the halls Chanting so strong queen? Veronica

Mother of Sinnoh Queen of Comoros How we love her so Veronica

1 The talking to a lot of people aspect of my game was to open the doors for me to implement the strategies I wanted. You won’t know how people are voting and you can’t get people to vote the way you want them to without talking to them. And that’s what I had to do. A big part of this game was making sure people voted the way I wanted them to, because this was a game of split votes. At least at the merge. There was so much that could’ve gone wrong with the Sapphire Idol play (which ended up benefitting me anyway) and all of the other votes up to Drew’s elimination due to his idol. So split votes had to be implemented. And with a split vote comes a lot of talking and pushing different agendas onto people as to convince them to vote a certain way. Get this person to vote person number 1 for one reason and get another person to vote person 2 for this reason. If you want an example of a plan other than the Sapphire Idol, we could move to Drew’s vote out. This required getting Luke on our side, making sure that Daisy would be on board for the vote, and getting the alliances together to split the votes the way we wanted them to. It also required the convincing of Drew that Luke was the one going home so that he would not only protect Luke but make himself vulnerable to be voted out. There’s so much that goes into these plans that I spent a lot of time working out the necessary voting distributions that I wanted to go down. And I’d say I had a good success rate overall. Through working with alliances and talking to various people separately, a lot of my strategy ended up working.

2 I understand the dilemma of not wanting to vote someone who as safe all of pre-merge. However, that’s something that was very much out of my control. It’s very circumstantial how the tribal immunity wins play out, and you fight to win those as to see another couple days in the game. So, I’m hoping that isn’t something that devalues or discredits my game. And like I said in my opening statement, I used that time to make the necessary social bonds I needed to in order to get me to the end. I know that Regan had to go to some tribals, but what I had heard from during the swap is that Regan was never really in any danger. From what I had gathered, Karen, Drew, and Regan were going to be too tight-knit to be broken pre-merge, and they stayed together throughout all of the pre-merge. So I’m hoping this doesn’t discredit my game, especially because people like Daisy and Chris, who played good and respectable games up to their eliminations, could have potentially faced the same criticism as well had either or both of them made it to the end.

3 I honestly, truly had no figured out what I was doing that night. I dunno how much you believe that, but it’s the truth. You and Regan as well as the hosts all knew that night I was very overwhelmed with irl situations, and I really kinda just won the immunity, stayed online for a little bit, and logged out to clear my mind from not only this game but what was giving me anxiety irl as well. This isn’t something to make you pity me or feel bad for me, it’s just the truth that I was already very overwhelmed that night, and when things like that happen I always tell myself and other people to get offline for a bit if it means you’ll be calmer. So, when I woke up late the next morning and made my decision, I went to you guys in the chat, waited for you both to be present, and revealed it to you both. And that’s all the 100% truth.

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life