#not merit that level of confidence shall we say

[loki-zen]

The reason people are against pirating the game is that the storyline is heavily antisemetic. I think that it'd be fair to talk about how it's more important to discuss how it is than to demand people not playing a game, but many people have been talking about that. The fear is that people who refuse to recognize that are just absorbing the message without understanding it. In general I think that talking about things, actually having critical media discussions, is more valuable the demanding people not play or not buy something but it's a problem that so many people just refuse to even consider that the criticism holds any weight because some people are being shitty about it.

I’d agree (that talking and potentially educating people about the issues is more valuable than demanding people consume or not consume particular media as purely symbolic shows of ‘support’) but I’d additionally add that many things are more important than critical media discussions. ‘Are people are safe going to the synagogue?’ is orders of magnitude more important a question than ‘is a computer game doing something offensively reminiscent with a ram’s horn in its lore?’

I don’t really know what is supposed to happen if people absorb the message without understanding it. tbh. all of the ‘harm’ here is extremely nebulous, especially if we’re assuming an audience that doesn’t get that any of this is about anything non-fictional!

like ig i don’t literally not understand it it’s just… people made fun of feminists treating shopaholic talking Barbie as if it was a Big Ass Deal for a reason and this is way more abstract than that. and it isn’t that this stuff definitely has zero effect but it’s absolutely uncertain and hard to measure and a lot of the causation likely goes the other way*

and yeah - it does seem the sort of thing that could cause some people to stop listening. because if all people seem to do is whine about what media people consume you’d be forgiven for thinking they didn’t have real problems (and normies struggle to differentiate between e.g. ‘people making a fuss about antisemitism’ and ‘Jewish people’).

[more-than-a-princess]

Maybe she'd asked too many questions at once, or more than he was comfortable with. It was one of her faults, particularly now that she lived overseas in a place most Novosonians could only dream of visiting, much less being able to call a temporary home. Sonia inquired after everything she felt was proper to ask: impolite or awkward questions were kept to herself, but otherwise it was seen by the Royal Family as important, a positive, to learn something new every day. And one did not learn, she thought, without asking and listening in equal amounts.

Even if the former tended to overrule the latter most of the time.

"Oh! Then you will be in 77-A or 77-B," Sonia commented on his, albeit unenthusiastic, answer. She wasn't quite sure why: everyone at Hope's Peak was lovely. Mostly. There were some classmates who had their moments of immense frustration and a testing of her patience. "I admit I am not too familiar with the students of class 77-A, but 77-B is my class and we are a welcoming group."

On this, she would speak with authority and give a sharp, commandeering look to any member of her class who dared prove otherwise. But Sonia looked around the courtyard, eyes lighting up at a few faces she instantly recognized. "Let me see...well, do you spot the two students over there?" She asked, gesturing to where a muscular boy was barking out exercises to a fit, tanned girl before they both broke into laughter, post fitness set. "That is Nidai Nekomaru-san and Owari Akane-san, both members of 77-B. They are some of the most supportive and cheerful people I have met at Hope's Peak and tend to find lightness and optimism during difficult times. Hello!" She interrupted her explanation to return their message of greeting. Both Akane and Nekomaru waved energetically and erratically, and Sonia returned it with a wave of her own, albeit more graceful and controlled.

"And over there," Sonia nodded towards three girls on the other side of the courtyard, all deep in a conversation: one, with brightly colored streaks in her hair, was describing something in a very animated way, causing the smallest of the three to laugh while the other looked on, concerned. "That is Koizumi Mahiru-san, Saionji Hiyoko-san, and Mioda Ibuki-san, also a part of 77-B. Koizumi-san is very level-headed and responsible, she helps to keep us all grounded. And Saionji-san, she is very proud of her heritage and possesses great confidence in herself. Oh, and Mioda-san? She has a wonderful sense of humor and loves making new friends! I do not think it is possible for her to make enemies of any sort!"

She'd said nothing about their talents. Frankly, she found defining people by their talents at Hope's Peak contributed nothing as to who they were or any of their merits. But Izuru seemed familiar with the school already, or at least where he was supposed to go and where his lodgings were. Sonia's eyebrows raised in surprise as she gave him a smile.

"Oh, then I have incorrectly guessed that you might need a guide," She admitted her mistake, shaking her head. "Very well, then. Considering you know where everything is, I will not take up more of your time. I shall 'see you around!' That is what most young people say, I think."

"Mhm..." He makes a noise of approval, agreeing with the princess's statement of having a common interest, even if it was just sweets.

She was.... a chatty one-- Just throwing questions left and right. He almost forgets they're around the same age, talking about mundane things that aren't actual education or having something along the lines of 'talent' was... Oddly foreign to him. All these conversational topics and he doesn't know which one to answer first! Outside the adults who praised him for his skills... The only person who talked to him around his age was his brother in the reserve course. It was kinda sad-- But in a way, kind of refreshing. Better than listening to a bunch of old men telling him what to do.

She asks the most obvious questions regarding his initial goal-- Going to the main course building and what class he's attending, generally boring and mundane ones. Though, keeping him at ease forgetting previous negative thoughts he had.

"That is correct... I'll be attending the 77th class. A bit.. late in transferring in the year but it was the class with an open spot." The committee was... rather vague about who was in the class-- So he'll be meeting a whole bunch of new students. When was the last time he attended an actual class with actual students his age? All of this feels very new..

"And about getting to the main building...I'll be fine. I already have a dorm there, I know where it is."

[dear-mrs-otome]

Some answers finally, in chp 14 checkpoint - MAJOR RIO SPOILERS:

Rio hasn't remembered everything, but he remembers enough to tell Belle that he's the third prince of Benitoite, the youngest brother of Silvio and Emidio. This is significant beyond the whole HE'S A PRINCE because as far as anyone else knows, there's only TWO princes in Benitoite.

A few things:

Rio's existence even as an obvious noble had been purposefully erased, as Sariel and Nokto and others found out when they tried to investigate his past. Not even the sort of, we dunno much about him kind of way. This was running into a blank wall, like he never existed AT ALL. They knew he was close to Silvio - Sariel and Nokto both point out that Silvio seems to care for him in his own backassward way, always keeping Rio nearby as if to keep an eye on him etc, even as these two are at each other's throats half the time. Sariel and Nokto's theories are that it would take an insane amount of influence and money to just wipe someone from existence like that...say, the sort of power and money only someone like Silvio would have.

Gilbert kind of joked in a conversation with Silvio that the king of Benitoite (who is stepping down soon to everyone's surprise, they assumed he'd rule for far longer) is chosen by a process of elimination - and by this I mean, the princes literally murder each other until the last man standing gets the throne. But in reality the king chooses his own successor by merit. This is why Emidio has come to Rhodolite ostensibly, on the surface at least to improve diplomacy and mix with the other princes and prove himself a worthy heir. The game is trying really hard to make it seem as if Silvio is guilty of trying to murder Rio (Rio's been attacked and also poisoned thus far) but I am confident it is Emidio's work.

Whatever happened to Rio three years ago, the details of the circumstances surrounding why he was in a carriage and had that ring and all the other things are still fuzzy, but I'm certain that Silvio capitalized on the situation and Rio's 'disappearance' to make him disappear in truth to protect him from Emidio and Emidio's machinations. Rio's implied that he's been poisoned before, and I am certain Silvio was shrewd enough to use the chance to protect his lil bro as best he could (and perhaps help himself a little by conveniently removing one contender for the crown bloodlessly?) I also don't get the impression that Rio enjoyed being a prince much, given that he's proposed running away with Belle entirely after all this blows over. Am I being optimistic in assuming the best of Silvio?? Perhaps...but I know that Cybird won't make a potential suitor that awful, and I also firmly believe that behind his 'you are THE WORST' act towards Rio and their level of squabbling, he loves Rio in his own dipshit way.

We shall see if the rest of the route proves me wrong though LOL

[luna-the-moth]

Crimson Rivulets (SFW) Pt.1

Alright, since Lucifer won first place in the poll, I’ll start off with the Avatar of Pride himself! This was supposed to be a hc/scenario, but I suppose this jumped out at me! GN! reader, and SFW. This’ll be a series, so I’ll link each part as they come out! 

Word count: 2.1k words

This is a Vampire!Lucifer AU and (SFW) Modern! CEO Lucifer AU

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Reblogs, likes, and comments are greatly appreciated!

Vampire!Lucifer AU (SFW)

A pureblood vampire, scorned by his father, and cast out with his siblings. From a young age, Lucifer had learned to take care of himself, along with his brothers. As the eldest, he felt a strong urgency and need to shield and protect his siblings, at any cost. Even at the expense of his pride.

Before stepping out of his father’s light, Lucifer had been one of the most prestigious vampires; the most sought-after. Fellow purebloods, half-bloods, and turned vampires alike had flung themselves at him, left and right.

In truth, Lucifer had no interest in any of them. Why would he distract himself, when he was supposed to inherit the family business and fortune? As the eldest son of the household, he was expected to be the pinnacle of class, intelligence; the embodiment for everything a pureblood represents.

He was known by many titles and honorifics, having obtained various positions of high status throughout his eternal lifetime. Governor, count, high priest, etc. But the name you know him as now, is Lucifer, CEO of Morningstar Corp.

The same Morningstar Corp., where you were going to apply for. Specifically, the open occupation of a personal assistant. You had been searching for a job close to the city, with decent benefits and stability. Which is quite odd, as Lucifer was known for his short temper, and had a reputation of going through assistants at least once a month.

Along with the fact that he was one of the most influential businessmen, it added an extra reason to be cautious. After all, he could make or break you, and if he didn’t like you? Say goodbye to all future job potential. His influence spread across the country, connections with almost every important figure of power.

The position offered a higher-than-average salary, and benefits of high worth. It was a gamble, but if fate smiled down on you, it may as well be one of the best opportunities of your life. Well, it was, but not in the way you expected.

Adjusting your tie slightly, you entered the doors of the building, a pleasant demeanor sweeping over your features. You had to be poised and professional, after all, this was a multi-billion company, if you weren’t your best, failure was guaranteed.

You had worn a simple outfit, contrasting to the corporation’s high-class, expensive atmosphere. But you were just applying to be an personal assistant after all, behind the scenes; so you wore a professional outfit, that wouldn’t stand out.

Arriving just on time for your interview, you took the elevator to the 27th floor, as the receptionist had instructed. With smooth, light jazz playing in the small space, your mind wandered to the possibility of what would happen if the job was granted to you.

Would Lucifer be a haughty, conceited, arrogant boss to work for?

Snorting, you thought, “Of course he is, he’s Lucifer Morningstar, CEO of one of the most prestigious companies in the country, why wouldn’t he be?”

Ping!

Interrupted by the signal of arrival from the elevator, you took in a deep breath, and stepped out of the elevator, hope in your heart.

The interview had gone fairly smoothly, as you answered the questions in a concise, polite manner. It was surprisingly less nerve wracking, besides the fact that your interviewer looked like he wanted to bite you-

At least, he had seemed like it. With mesmerizing, and hungry forest green eyes, you felt yourself gravitating towards him. Although, you quickly reminded yourself that this was a professional setting, and you were applying for an interview.

Seemingly pleased with your responses, the interviewer bade you goodbye as you left the office, a mysterious smirk gracing his features. Leaving the room, the image of him stayed in your mind for days, the intensity and calculation in his gaze haunting you, luring you in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For a few days, you had idly scrolled through other job listings, as you didn’t want to rely on the Morningstar Corp. application. After all, you were just one of many applicants, it’d be foolish to place all your hope into that one position.

After another day or two, you got a callback. They had accepted your application, and Mr. Satan, your interviewer, had wanted you to come back and sign the official papers, along with a tour of the building.

With hope in your heart, and a lightness in your step, you entered the skyscraper of a building once again, an air of confidence about you. Well, a sense of security and assurance would be a more accurate description.

Walking down the clean, polished hallway of the 34th floor, your thoughts wandered. However, they were abruptly stopped when you heard a stern voice ring out, prideful and condescending.

“Yes, and? It’s almost pitiful, how lousy you are with your job. I hired you as an interviewer, yet all of your choices have been fired or left on their own accord.

Honestly, since you are one of the most educated and competent halfbloods, I thought you would at least have some potential. If you can’t even find a decent personal assistant for me, I see no potential for you here at Morningstar Corp.”

In an open conference room, you saw a young man, with blond hair, and seemed to be his mid twenties. With a scowl on his face, narrowed eyes were directed towards the man in front of you.

Ah, it was your interviewer, you had realized. Who else had such enchanting, deep green eyes? Focus, you chastised yourself.

“Oh please, you drive off even the most patient of assistants! Speaking of personal assistants, you can’t just call them ‘degenerate, insolent worms not worth the dirt on your shoes, much less your investment,’ because they brewed your coffee a little too long, sir.

If you weren’t such an entitled, demanding pureblood, I’d-”

Wait- pureblood?

As he was about to fire off an insult, his gaze darted towards you, eyes seemingly gazing into your soul. Your breath hitched, words barely being able to force themselves out of your throat.

“Ah, my apologies, I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll be back later-”

Hastily turning on your heel, you attempted to leave, but were stopped by a commanding voice behind you. Immediately, you had recognized him. The same voice you had heard over and over, in press conferences, and various ceremonies.

“Just where do you think you’re going?”

You turned around, suddenly anxious and on edge. Something about that voice made you shiver in fear, and...delight?

Lucifer was dressed in a dark navy blue suit, with corresponding dress pants, along with a crisp, white dress shirt, hidden under a dark blue not unlike that of the suit. To add on, a black tie was adorned around his neck, with black dress shoes.

Wow Y/n, the first thing you think about when confronted by one of the most powerful businessmen in the country, is about how hot you think his voice is, and that collar- Get yourself together!

Blinking once, your gaze meets that of a blood-red one, almost hypnotic. A deep, bloody red that was similar to that of roses, or perhaps rivulets of blood. Almost like the blood red eyes of a vampire, found in fantasy novels and mythological stories.

Although, maybe he was one, since Satan had mentioned him being a ‘pureblood,’ if I recall correctly. That could mean anything, though.

Nonetheless, you quickly snapped your focus back to the present, as you had realized you had been staring into his eyes for maybe a bit too long. With burning red staining the tips of your ears, you replied with a slight waver in your voice,

“I was just about to leave and reschedule my appointment with Mr. Satan, as it seemed the two of you were busy, Mr. Morningstar.”

Staring at each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever, Lucifer smirked, breaking the hold on your gaze to glance back at Satan. With a dignified air around him, his moniker of “The Peacock” seemed quite fitting.

“Is this the new assistant you were speaking of, Satan?”

Scowling, he nodded curtly.

“Yes, this is Y/n L/n, your newest personal assistant. Out of all of your previous assistants, they’re the most qualified, and seem to align with your standards the most. I have faith in them.”

Taken aback by the blatant praise, you dipped your head in a gesture of thanks and gratitude.

Lucifer observed with a slightly curious gaze, masked behind a cover of apathetic, uninterested layers of emotions. It was rare for Satan to praise anyone, much less a new assistant.

He couldn’t deny that his curiosity was piqued; after all, he held Satan’s opinion in high regard, arguments aside. If he believed in your capabilities, you had to have at least some merit.

As much as Lucifer would like to deny it, he was a demanding boss, especially since his levels of stress were through the roof. Hell, if he was human, he’d be dead from overworking and lack of rest. Fortunately for the undead immortal, he wasn’t.

“I see, well Y/n, why don’t you finish up the required paperwork with Satan, and he’ll give you a tour afterwards. Your first day of work starts this coming Monday, be here at 7AM, sharp.”

Turning away, you stole a glimpse his face once more before Lucifer left, leaving you and Satan.

Letting out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding in, you turned to Satan, mind clouded with thoughts flurried, flying through your head.

With  charming smile and a certain glint in his eye, Satan gestured to the conference room, with papers and files ready on the table.

“Shall we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, 6:50 AM

Arriving at the building, you were huffing, as you had rushed over. Your morning had been fairly quiet, but the real issue was with traffic.

There was a car crash on your route to work, and it nearly made you late, added with the fact that parking spots were far and few to find, it was a miracle you had made it on time.

However, the sight that greeted you when you stepped into the polished office was...something, to say the least.

The first thing you noticed was a wave of iron and rust permeating your senses, filling your nostrils and causing light-headedness.

On Lucifer’s desk, sat vials of blood, and the man in question, had his fangs inserted through a vial. seeming to drink the blood through his fangs.

With closed eyes and a contented look on his face, Lucifer seemed to drink the blood like a mere cup of tea, nonchalant.

Letting out a noise of surprise, you clapped a hand over your mouth in shock; your boss was a vampire, just like from the manga you had read....

Lashes fluttering open, Lucifer looks at you with . Removing his fangs from the vial,  he swiped his tongue along his fangs, not letting a drop of blood go to waste.

Setting it down, he placed his head on his propped hand in a bored manner, a contempt expression worn smugly across his face.

“Right on time, L/n. Since today’s your first day on the job, I’ll give you a simple task. Prepare a coffee with 18 shots of espresso, a dash of milk, and a caffeine booster.

Afterwards, you will stop by the clinic on the 13th floor, and collect a vial of Aspherion from the medicinal vault. The identification program should have your information set, and should be able to identify you by the card Satan gave you previously.”

Standing in shock, your eyes were wide with surprise, firstly, because your new boss was a vampire; also, that is an inhuman amount of caffeine, how the fuck has he not died yet- plus, having a vampiric boss wasn’t included in the contract.

No wonder the benefits were so great, he was gonna drink your blood like a fucking juice box.

“What in the world? First of all, my name’s Y/n, and I would appreciate if you would call me as such. Secondly, a vampire? Do you really think I’m just going to accept that, no question?”

Incredulous, you had gestured your hands in a dramatic fashion, genuinely offended that your new boss had thought you were going to take in this new information within seconds, and be completely fine with it.

Sighing with a look of irritation flashing across his features, he gestured for you to sit in an empty seat, proceeding to prop his chin on his hands. In his eyes, shone curiosity, and a challenge.

“Fine. What would you like to know?”

[johannstutt413]

“Good morning, Doctor.” Lady Ceylon walked into his office with a gentle three raps on the open door. “Would you be free for tea this afternoon?”

The Doctor glanced up at her from his work. “Sure. Any particular reason?”

“Does one need a reason for tea?”

“I suppose not.” He nodded. “Very well. Where will we be having it?”

She smiled. “I will host.”

“Immediately after work, or will I have time to change?”

“Oh, most certainly change before you come to my place.” Ceylon chortled. “You should wear something suitable for the occasion, after all.”

He blinked. “Um, right. Is there anything else you need, Ceylon?

“Hmm...I suppose not. I shall see you at tea, then.” She stood there for a little longer before leaving him be.

“Tea with Ceylon - what an unexpected way to spend an evening,” The Doctor mused to himself. “I’m not even that great a fan of tea, but if she wants to discuss something with me, I’ll be all ears. What could this be about, though?”

-

Dressed in a comfortable but nice-looking button-up shirt and jeans, the Doctor made his way to Ceylon’s dorm and knocked. Schwarz answered the door. “Good afternoon, Doctor. Lady Ceylon will see you shortly. Please take a seat.”

“Thank you, Schwarz.” He followed her instruction. “Will you be joining us this evening as well?”

“The Lady has asked me to spend my evening elsewhere, so I’ll be at the bar with Scavenger.”

The Doctor added this to a growing list of strange details. “Well, enjoy your night, regardless.”

“I will, thanks.” A door creaked open. “And with that, I’ll be leaving. Stay hydrated.”

“Stay...” Yet another strange detail, but that paled in comparison to what he was seeing now.

Ceylon, in contrast to her normal attire, was now wearing a slightly-oversized Victorian National University hoodie over what might have been a red dress. “Good afternoon, Doctor. Do you have any plans for later this evening?”

“Nothing in particular, no,” he confirmed, dumbfounded. Her hair was fully tied back in a Rapunzel braid - had she done that herself? “I may have misunderstood the dress code.”

“Simply unbuttoning your shirt should put us at the same level, no?” She walked over to the stove and began boiling their water.

The Doctor did just that, untucking both his shirts in the process. “I’ve never seen you outside of your uniform, I guess.”

“Do you like it?” Ceylon had rolled up her sleeves to fill the boiler. “Schwarz helped me with my hair.”

“It’s quite lovely,” he admitted.

She set a hand to her lips, blushing slightly. “Flattery before the tea has even been poured. How forward.”

“You asked for my...” The Doctor shook it off. “I know you said earlier there doesn’t need to be an occasion for tea, but I am curious why you haven’t invited me before.”

“I had to work up to it, truth be told. Having you to myself in my quarters was a rather daunting prospect.”

He raised an eyebrow. “‘Daunting?’ How so?”

“Well, you see, Doctor, while I often host tea for others - just yesterday, Lady Verna and I had a lovely conversation over the merits of lemon in herbal blends as a flavor additive - I have yet to host a male visitor since coming to Rhodes Island, and I worry that my decorum may be slipping.” As she said that, her hoodie slid off her left shoulder, revealing the dress underneath to be strapless.

“Even in your own home, Lady Ceylon, you are the picture of refinement,” the Doctor reassured her. His stomach growled. “Ah, I missed lunch today. Completely forgot.”

She smiled as she brought a tray of finger sandwiches to the table. “There you are, Doctor. Cucumber, curried chicken, and smoked salmon.”

“Delightful, and much appreciated,” he earnestly thanked her.

“Simply the ritual of tea,” Ceylon blushed, patting him daintily on the shoulder. The boiler began to whistle. “And speaking of which.” She emptied warm water from two teapots, set leaves in both, and filled them to the desired degree from the boiler before bringing the pots to the center of the table. “How are the sandwiches?”

He’d already tried one of each and still could not settle on which to prioritize. “They’re all spectacular. I don’t have tea very often, so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but knowing you, I should have expected it to be this well-done.”

“I’m glad you think so, Doctor. You have had tea before, though?”

“Once with Ch’en and Hoshiguma,” he confirmed. “It was rather awkward, not too different from being a third wheel on a date...In fact, I suspect that’s what I was, in the end.”

She giggled. “That is rather unfortunate. I believe today’s will be substantially more enjoyable. You decided on the chicken, I see?”

“I’ve never eaten meat spiced like this before. You said Schwarz took care of your hair, but I would not be surprised to learn everything else was your work alone.”

“We shared the load,” she admitted, “but to hear your confidence in my abilities...I wasn’t sure how you thought of me.”

The Doctor shrugged. “I have never once doubted your capability, Ceylon. Since the day we met, and you stood alongside us to save Siesta, I’ve trusted you to apply yourself, and the results speak for themselves.”

“Doctor...is it getting rather hot?” Not waiting for an answer, Ceylon removed her hoodie and set it behind her, revealing her dress in its fullest.

“Now I’m underdressed,” he remarked, albeit not changing his attire in any way. “Speaking of hot, do you think the tea is ready?”

She nodded. “I believe so. There you are. If you need anything for it, we should have it and I will retrieve it post-haste.”

“I should be alright, thank you.” The Doctor watched the steam rise from the cup with interest.

“Nothing? No lemon, no milk, no honey?” Ceylon shook her head. “How curious.”

He smiled. “I drink my coffee black for the same reason - the flavors of the plant are my favorite part. Disguising or muddling that with anything defeats some of the point for me; if I wanted to drink chocolate milk with added sugar, I would do that instead of ordering a mocha frappe. Not that I begrudge anyone their tastes, but it simply isn’t my preference.”

“Ah. For some blends, I use the additives to focus on certain aspects of the flavor - a small amount of milk to make a truly bitter tea more immediately palatable so I can enjoy its subtleties, for instance. Do you drink coffee often, then?”

“No more than tea, honestly.” The Doctor shook his head before picking up his cup. “I don’t need large amounts of caffeine, so I only drink either in moderation.” He took a sip, and suddenly, he wondered how quickly conversions could occur. This felt like it might be one.

Ceylon sighed. “Understandable. Are you alright?”

“This is the best tea I’ve ever had,” he replied.

“Oh, why thank you.” She sipped hers. “That is rather good.”

A thought struck him. “Before she left, Schwarz advised me to stay hydrated. Any thoughts on why she would say that?”

“‘Stay hydrated?’...I was hoping to finish our tea before addressing that, frankly.”

“That’s alright, then.” Another long sip. “It did strike me as odd that she wasn’t joining us, and normally I might worry myself over such things, but this tea has certainly set me at ease.”

Ceylon smiled. “That’s good. Unfortunately, I must address that comment now, for my sake.” She refilled off his cup when he set it and the plate back down.

“Very well.” Immediately, the cup was back in hand.

“How do I phrase this...” She tapped the sides of her cup, currently on the table. “The simplest way of putting it would be that I invited you intending to seduce you.”

The Doctor set his cup down. “I see...it has gotten rather hot, hasn’t it?” He removed his over-shirt.

“Since meeting you at Siesta, the thought has crossed me multiple times that a man of your genius deserves someone who can complement it, if not truly match it, and besides that, you are disarmingly handsome without that mask of yours. When I first arrived, I was sure I would find you already had someone at your side in that capacity, but since you do not...”

“You say you ‘intend to seduce’ me...” He cocked his head. “That implies you don’t expect me to simply fall in love with you of my own accord.”

Ceylon blushed. “I mean, it’s a rather ridiculous thought, is it not? We hardly see each other since my arrival here, after all.”

“Fair, I suppose...but truth is stranger than fiction.”

“Are you saying,” she continued after a moment to recover, “that you have already fallen for me?”

The Doctor lifted his cup to his lips, emptied it, and set it back down. “Perhaps not to the same degree as you seem to have for me, but I am more than willing to try to. A woman of your calibre deserves nothing less than your suitor’s best.”

“M-my suitor...I fear I might faint.”

“Perhaps this is what Schwarz meant by hydration,” he smiled. “Should I fetch you something?”

Ceylon shook her head. “No, no, I’m...I’m okay. Um...we should finish tea.”

“Agreed.” The Doctor set his cup on the table, a light dancing in his eyes. While this hadn’t been what he’d expected, it certainly made for a better tea than his last...and boded well for those in future.

[plaidshirtjimkirk]

i wish i had an awesome list of things i wrote in 2019, but there’s none to speak of. i probably hit 30k max or so. but i wanna talk about writing anyway. this is longgggg, sorry.

i have been and ever shall be a ridiculously passionate person. when i love something, i really really *really* love it. it takes over everything. it’s all i think about. i’ve always been this way. i had all of one friend when i was a child and i met her in preschool. we met up recently and she started naming all these series and characters i was obsessed with since i was 4. LOL the thing is, like... no one else liked these things, so she had to deal with me infodumping and reading my crappy fanfiction to her from elementary to middle school. (the fact that she still talks to me amazes me.)

my relationship with writing is complicated and im finally understanding why.

i started out with self insert stories when i was super young because there weren’t any other kids around besides my one awesome friend. i never felt lonely though because i had my stories.

i loved fictional characters. i self shipped. this led me to roleplaying. i found someone who was writing as a character i adored. we wrote together and then started dating. that was my first SO. not knowing any better, i remained in an abusive relationship for 7 years. my stories were my comfort and i can honestly say that writing saved my life. there’s a good ending to this situation. one day, i experienced a breath of fresh air and finally took the trash out.

i dabbled in drawing comics for a bit as i worked hard at my job. i met someone worth my love and effort. we loved each other so much that we maintained a relationship while living on opposite ends of the planet. as you can imagine, that was pretty lonely. writing helped me through it. i met some amazing people to write with during this time, including my bff @suitablyaggrieved.

the fandom we were in then was filled with toxic people however. my having an oc didn’t help things so i had to deal with harassment, even when i was minding my own damn business. got tired of that, took down my writing, and barely wrote a thing for about 3 years.

when i fell hard into trek, i decided i wanted to give fandom one more shot. i wanted to be in a community that loved the same things i did and figured it was worth the effort of trying. tbh i feel very lucky that my return to fandom was trek because yall are seriously some of the nicest people ever.

when i started this blog, i was just some rude dipshit who didn’t really think about the weight of my words. i said mean things but i didn’t care. it was whatever because it was my blog and i had 30 followers. the follower count grew though at some point, i thought about why i tested the waters of coming back to fandom and how grateful i was to splash land back in one like trek. i realized i wasn’t being the kind of person i wanted to be. i’m still a dipshit, just less rude now.

but the thing is that trek got me into writing again. and when i started, i felt like there were no limits. i wrote and wrote and wrote. i was telling stories about some things i’d been through and using characters as proxies. it was an interesting experience. i never wanted to stop...made me feel like i was doing something constructive when drama was going on in my work life.

everything was ok though because i had my words.............and then chronic illness caught up with me.

writing made me happy because i saw myself putting out lots of stories. but when it came to the point where i couldn’t write as much as i used to because i was in too much pain to even get out of bed, it started making me feel really depressed.

the truth is that i don’t have confidence in my work. i never did. i probably never will. it sucks when you spend all this time working on something, just to end up hating it. and with being the passionate person i am, the lower word count had me feeling like a complete failure. all or nothing. consistency or nothing. i know this is unhealthy. i also would never think anyone else was a failure for not writing as much. it was just...i had all these personal goals i wasn’t meeting.

at some point, i started feeling as though i couldn’t write ks anymore. there were a couple reasons for that but the main one was losing consistency. i didn’t feel like my work was ever anything special, but at least i was feeling productive. when that went out the window, i kinda looked back at all these words i put out and didn’t feel good about them.

i started writing for small pairings where the fandom was literally all of 2 people. i thought that maybe i could just post stories for a tiny audience, or even just for my own sake, and maybe being so worried about quality wouldn’t be such a big deal. i was kidding myself though. ofc it was. and it just made me feel worse about my writing. i didn’t know how to make it fun. instead of being pumped to start something new, all i could think about was how i’d suffer to put whatever story i was thinking of together and just end up hating. it felt like so much wasted effort.

i met some awesome new friends who encouraged me to make an oc again. it took such a long time but i did and i spent a few months privately posting fics about all of our ocs interacting. writing was slowly becoming fun again.

and that brings me to where i am today. i realize it’s been a crutch for me throughout life. i could throw myself into it, throw myself into stories that others wrote. with less energy to go around because of being in pain frequently, the amount i could do reduced drastically. i’m still trying to figure out how to cope with that, and how to not put so much pressure on myself to where i get stuck in an endless loop of self hating.

still, writing saved me. even though things got really complicated, im glad i had the experience of doing it and even though it sometimes stresses me the hell out, i want to keep at it...figure out how the same thing that helped me so many times before can do so again.

i’m not sure i can ever figure the confidence/self love thing out, but i think i can try to make words my friends again. people outside of fandom don’t get it and i guess i can’t blame them if they don’t have the experience. they think ff is some frivolous activity that has no merit, no quality, no bearing on anything. but it does on franchise, community, and individual levels.

anyway, sending good vibes to every content creator out there. let’s hang in there through the great times and bad. <3

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

Blog: Almost 40.

I’ve never been one for posting particularly introspective blog entries publicly. It’s not that I don’t contemplate things, or even write about them, but for the most part those meandering musings are confined only to my phone’s notes app- my most used app behind Facebook. And on those rare occasions that I *do* publicly blog about them I usually keep it on a relatively superficial level as I don’t necessarily like opening up my mind (and insecurities) to strangers.

But I’m turning 40 in less than a month and I think this is the catalyst that’s prompted a lot more thought about things than I’d ordinarily give them. I’d always considered 40 old but, as I approach it, I don’t *feel* old. And my family and friends would be rather quick to point out I don’t act it either. I always thought by 40 I would be much further along in life than I am. That I’d have a good job, a nice husband, a nice house, kids, that whole suburban dream. But... I haven’t.

And I started thinking if I’m a ball of mixed emotions about turning 40 maybe there’s other women- and men for that matter- who are feeling the exact same way so perhaps if I’m to break my self imposed cocoon of privacy around my innermost thoughts now might be the perfect time to give it a shot. So, with that being said, here goes nothing...

Here’s the thing: I remember my Mum’s 40th. I had just turned 10. I was sitting outside with my cousins, all of similar ages, and we were making fun of what we considered to be the appalling music taste our respective parents had. I even remember the leather pants Mum was wearing. She claims to have forgotten them but I think she’s faking that despite her bad memory. It didn’t even occur to me for a millisecond that my 40th wouldn’t be spent in a similar fashion. I just assumed life would follow the same path most women’s lives had followed for generations (with one caveat- I was planning to be the first one to go to uni): I’d find a job, I’d find a husband, we’d buy a house with a white picket fence, and we’d have 2.5 kids and a dog. And that all of that would be well and truly achieved by the time I turned 40. Just like it had been for my mum, and her mum before her, and hers before her. It was just the way things went, you know?

And then life happened. There’s a line in “Beautiful Boy” one of the John Lennon songs that I love that says “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” and it couldn’t be any truer in the 21st century than It was when it was written in 1980. (It’s a cruel twist of fate that it was written not long before he died and released after his death.)

For me “life” was all about my health, or lack thereof. I’ve mentioned the back issues before and the many hospital visits, and the 70 plus back ops. In essence this put things on hold: work, getting a home of my own, finding a guy (hard when you are always in and out of hospital and have problems losing weight) and having kids. So as I approach 40 without those things I’m not necessarily looking forward to it the way many do. (Plus if I get one “over the hill” card the person giving it to me shall be in a body bag.)

One thing I noticed when researching this blog post was Google searches about turning 40 seemed to concentrate on two things: what your health would be like post 40 and life as a Mum. Well what about those of us who are single and childless? Are we invisible? This didn’t particularly help with my mixed emotions about this supposed great milestone.

And it seems I’m not alone. Dr. Nancy Oreilly wrote about women’s aging anxiety that regardless of how you feel towards turning 40 you’ll still do what everyone does at this juncture and take stock of your life thus far. Things like “what have you done with your life? Are you the person you intended to be and are you living the life you want?” (1.)

In Lisa Bono’s interview with author Glynnis MacNicol about her book “No one tells you this” for the Sydney Morning Herald about life as a single 40 year old woman MacNicol admits she approached her 40th with “so much dread and shame" because she didn't have what she was "supposed" to have - a husband and a kid or two.... (because) we don't understand how to talk about women's lives as fulfilling unless we incorporate babies or weddings.” (2.)

Meredith Goldberg, in her article about age being just a number posed the question that if indeed age was just a number why was she feeling so apprehensive? Was it because she felt “like (she) had not accomplished enough in (her) 40 years on earth?” (3.) After all she hadn’t gotten married, hadn’t had kids, didn’t have another advanced degree.

Interestingly studies over the last decade or so have shown that the start of middle age (which, much to my chagrin given my belief I’m still like a much younger woman, is considered to be 40) often correlates with the time when people are the least happy, have the lowest levels of life satisfaction and highest levels of anxiety. A study at the University of Warwick and Dartmouth College attributed this to the facts that at this stage “adults are often faced with the pressures of raising children and looking after aging parents while simultaneously dealing with mounting financial and career pressures.“ (4)

Is it all too late for me- and other women turning 40 without a child- though? This is one of the most common thoughts going round and round in my head as I approach 40. I mean we all know about the whole ticking biological clock right? Even when I was doing my first postrgrad degree at 24, working part time, still single, still living at home, I still thought well there’s plenty of time. At 28 when I was finishing with postgrad, working full time but still single I *still* thought well there’s still a fair bit of time. At 33 it changed to well I guess there’s still time if I get a bit of a hurry on now. And now, at 39, single and childless, I think well maybe it’s too late now.

In her article about turning 40 whilst single and childless Bethany Jenkins wrote that it’s not only common but practically universal for a woman to expect and long for children, “to bring new life into the world; to put her hand on her belly as her baby grows; to wonder whether the newborn will have her or her beloved’s eyes; to hear “mom” not as a word uttered by her own voice to her own mother but as a call from her child’s voice for her.” (5) MacNicol in her book echoes that saying “as women, we’re taught to expect our stories to turn to marriage and children at a certain point in time (namely, before 40.)” (6)

Robin Deutsch, a psychologist and associate professor at William James College in Newton also points out that women reaching 40 tend to be more confident, have more wisdom and make better choices. (4) (Does she even know me?) But when you really think about it the whole “life begins at 40” theory has some merit. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was almost 50. Vera Wang didn’t start her fashion career until 40.

The fact that these women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

So does this mean that the formula that my mum and all my ancestors followed, that unsaid life plan of when to get married, buy a home and have kids, is a thing of the past? We know women have children later these days. In fact the median age for a first kid these days is 30.6 as per the ABS reports

From the 1950s to mid 1970s, the fertility rates of women aged 20–24 and 25–29 were patently higher than that of all other age groups. Since then, the fertility rates for women in their 20s have been steadily declining whilst rates of those aged in their 30s have mostly increased since the early 1980s. Since 2000, the fertility rate of women in their early 30s has been higher than all other groups. It’s not just that women are having babies later but also the birth rate has declined. In 1950 the birth rate was 23.124. Its predicted 2020 will be at 12.561. (ABS yearly reports.)

We know women have children later these days, preferring to be settled and to have done the things they thought they’d not be able to do after before becoming a parent. Compared to our mothers, our grandmothers and so on we have more choices and not every woman’s first goal in life is having a child. (8)

The differences between say baby boomers and millennials are striking. It’s not just the fact that they settle down later but there are also other factors that mean by the time we turn 40 we may not have all the things our ancestors have but there are other priorities we have. For instance more women go to university now than they did when my Mum was turning 40. And after spending the time, work and money to get a degree it’s only natural that it follows that they want to get more out of their careers. Whilst baby boomers are more driven by loyalty, often staying at the same company for years, millennials are more interested in achieving more, whether that’s at the same company or not. (9) My father, for example, worked for the same company his entire life. He could have gone to many others with the knowledge he’d accumulated but he liked his job and he was happy there so it didn’t even really occur to him in more than a passing thought.

Then you look at things like buying a home. It’s ironic given that pay has increased that millennials are putting home ownership off longer than previous generations. Whilst people of my parents generation were content with a “starter home” these days more and more first home buyers want a bigger home, with bigger and better appliances, closer to the city than the suburbs etc. Research has found that rather than jump straight into a mortgage millennials look at travel, and spending their pay on things like Ubers and Lyfts, coffee, gadgets, clothes, and live entertainment and sports. (9)

Marriage is also something we do later. Consider the fact that whilst almost “50% of baby boomers were married between the ages of 18 to 32... a mere 26% of millennials are married in the same age range.” (9)

The fact that so many other women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. In the next 12 months I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

In an article published on mindbodygreen.com the writer spoke about how well-meaning friends had been asking her did she not want to have kids, did she not want to get married, etc, and she was quick to say that this can actually be the “most celebrated time of your life (and to) consider yourself blessed and enjoy the freedom.” (10) She listed some of the things to celebrate about turning 40 whilst single and childless. Like me travel was up there on her list as was the time to Perdue your passions. She also mentioned “(the) opportunity to nurture your friendships and relationships with family...(and that) the dating pool is large in your 40’s (given) a large majority of our population is divorced... there are so many

social media dating sites and social events in every major city... (and) you know what you're looking for.” (10)

So maybe instead of worrying about why I’m not where I wanted to be turning 40, worrying that it’s too late, worrying that my friends are further along than I am, I should be embracing it. The future is mine. I’ve just got to find a way to embrace it.

Fatgirl.

Sources:

1.) https://www.drnancyoreilly.com/40-2/

2.) https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/no-one-tells-you-life-as-a-40-year-old-single-woman-can-be-like-this-20180717-p4zs16.html

3.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1140197/anxious-about-turning-40/amp/

4.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/06/01/seriously-now-what-traumatic-about-turning/UVnbdmxVvLSzwoB8Yo4wGP/story.html%3foutputType=amp

5.) https://ifstudies.org/blog/reflections-on-turning-40-while-single-and-childless

6.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/single-at-40-glynnis-macnicol-interview/amp/

7.) https://aifs.gov.au/facts-and-figures/births-in-australia

8.) https://www.mamamia.com.au/average-age-to-have-kids/

9.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/difference-millennials-baby-boomers-2019-4%3famp

10.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/so-im-single-40-and-childless-now-what--10631

[virmillion]

Ibytm - T minus 10 seconds

Masterpost - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - ao3

Words: 2,102

Logan sifts through his notecard stack again, wishing (not for the first time) that he would’ve had the foresight to holepunch them and run a string through to maintain some semblance of organization. But no, no, past Logan decided that present-Logan should agonize over minute fears while sweating bullets in an empty conference room. He just about screams his lungs to shreds when the door swings open, but it’s only Roman, who displays an encouraging smile and a double thumbs-up. “Am I late?”

“The opposite, war funce—er, for once. I, uh, I start in efflen—eleven nim—minutes. Eleven minutes. Until I start.”

“Why are you so nervous?”

“Because of how many things that can go wrong. Just ask Murphy, I’m basically guaranteed to fail by his logic. Where’s notecard seven?” Logan places the stack of notecards on the table as gingerly as possible, perfectly parallel with the edge as he kneels to search the floor. “I lost the seventh card, what if I forget what’s on it? What if I don’t—”

“Logan, do me a favor and remind me when NASA was founded,” Roman says nonchalantly, taking a seat at the closest chair.

“July twenty-ninth, nineteen eighty—no, nineteen fifty-eight. Where did I put—”

“And how long after that did they reach the moon?”

“July sixteenth, nineteen sixty-nine. I swear, all the information for slide eighteen was on that—”

Logan glances up as Roman swats his head with the missing notecard. “Logan, those questions aren’t even important ones that you have to put any effort into, and you’ve got them down . The stuff you’ve actually been trying with is all just concrete, and you don’t just misplace concrete. You do not need these notecards, okay? You’re gonna crush this presentation, and if you get nervous, just look at me, yeah?”

“How on Earth would looking at you be in any way helpful to me?”

“How on Earth would it not be?”

Logan slumps his shoulders and takes the notecard, reading over it. Well, he was right—it does correspond to slide eighteen. That’s something, at least. “I don’t know.”

“And you don’t need to. You’ve got this.”

“This is literally the single largest—”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“But it does, though. If I don’t completely nail this presentation, I might never move on to the space exploration research tier, much less the actual doing the stuff tier. I’ll just be doing busy work for forever, and all that rides on how well I do today.”

Roman slides down in his chair until he’s sitting on his back and kicks his foot out, rolling the chair in front of Logan aside. “Sit down.”

“But I have to—”

“Siddown.”

He does.

Roman sits back up in his chair and raises his hands as if anticipating a punch Logan certainly isn’t about to throw. “You’ve been working on this presentation for months—”

“A week.”

“Don’t interrupt me. You’ve been working on things that led to you working on this for ages, and you’ve put your entire soul into it—yes you do so have one, don’t even try me—and you are going to crush it. This whole deal is just a formality, yeah? Everyone here knows how good you can do at any job they give you, and even Katie-Lee knows you’d give her a run for her money if given half a chance.”

“Well.”

“What?”

“How well I can do at any job. You said ‘good,’ which is wrong.”

“Seem but on your little grammar tirade, you didn’t correct me not using Katie-Lee’s honorific, which means some part of your subconscious acknowledges that you’re at least on her level, if not above it.”

“Or it just means I’m extremely nervous.”

“That is also a valid possibility.” Roman glances to the door as a cluster of people in very professional looking suits shuffles in. Shooting Logan a quick wink and nod, he stands and moves to a chair at the back corner of the room, where he pulls out a small notepad from his pocket. Logan lurches to his feet, suddenly all too aware of how underdressed he feels in comparison to these newcomers.

He offers nods and smiles to everyone that files in, wondering whether they know how off-putting their cool demeanors are. They probably do. It’s probably on purpose. They’ve probably already written him off as a waste of their time. At the back of the room, Roman crosses one ankle over the other knee and starts taking notes, poking his tongue out as he bends his head over the pad. Taking a few centered breaths, Logan faces the projector screen and closes his eyes.

Roman is right there if you need anything. He has your back. Virgil has your back from a distance. You can do this. You did presentations all the time in school, no problem. You don’t need the notecards, but they’re there if you need a parachute. Everyone in this room is just a human. If you mess up, they’ll understand. There’s always tomorrow. Hearing the voice in his head giving these reassurances to himself, Logan realizes why Virgil always gets annoyed when he hears them. Logan is, in fact, much more agitated now than he was before.

“You ready?” It is extremely difficult for Logan to fight off the urge to launch himself through the ceiling at the sudden sound of Miss Katie-Lee’s voice. He turns and smiles and nods and pretends his legs aren’t still trembling with adrenaline—‘pretends’ being the operative word. “Good, then go ahead and get started.” Miss Katie-Lee takes a seat near the head of the table—stage right, if Logan’s limited theater knowledge serves him correctly. Directly across from her is pretty much the most important person to have ever stepped foot in this building. ( Aside from Virgil, says a cutesy voice in Logan’s head, which he ignores.)

Robin P. Gazebo, director of the Kennedy Space Center. If it weren’t for him, Logan would absolutely still be toiling away in computer engineering classes and looking at the stars with something akin to vague disinterest. He’s never been this freaking close to the guy before.

For those of you keeping score at home, Logan’s heart is hovering somewhere around the planet’s mantle right now.

“Ah, Mr. Walders, is it?” Director Gazebo says, glancing over his clipboard. Undoubtedly full of information that very well might decide how Logan’s entire life plays out from here.

“Actually, I recently got married, so my surname is now Sanders, Director Gazebo, but, um, yes, that’s me,” Logan says, his voice about as panicky as he would expect it to be. He sincerely might just flat out collapse, right here, right now. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“And you as well. Congratulations on your nuptials, by the way.” The director sticks out a hand, and Logan isn’t sure whether it’s a good or bad thing that it’s warm when he shakes it. Good, because the director is warm and inviting? Or bad, because it means Logan’s hand is cold, which could be off-putting to the most important person in the building? Or worse, because maybe the director peed on his hand to get it that warm? Do people do that? Should Logan start doing that? “And you can just call me Robin.”

“Right, yes, thank you, sorry, and you me Logan—er, you can call me Logan, I mean. If you want to.” Logan is all too aware that he sounds like a preteen meeting their pop star idol right now, but he is also aware that he will never in his life call the director anything less official than ‘the director.’ Take a wild guess which thought is occupying more space in his mind. “Shall we get started?”

“Whenever you’re ready, Logan.” Director Gazebo leans back in his chair and takes out a pen, and Logan debates the merits of sticking his head out the window for some air. Perhaps not the smartest move, but what if he really, really wants to? He doesn’t do it, of course, but the idea is quite appealing. Instead, he flicks on the projector, inhaling confidence and exhaling nerves. Seriously, how has Virgil not just up and smacked him for these inane little positivity slogans?

It takes a solid eighty-seven percent of Logan’s willpower not to glance down at his notecards before he opens his mouth. “Hello, everyone. I’d like to start by thanking you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to meet me here today. My name is Logan Sanders, and I would like to discuss why we as a species need to turn our attention to the stars, not for any sort of escapism, but to advance our understanding of the planet beneath us.”

Partial disclosure, Logan spent the better part of two days coming up with that intro.

Full disclosure, he has absolutely no idea what happens next, and certainly has no hope of translating that into legible words. A cop-out, to be sure, but he can’t help it, so suck it up, buttercup.

Yeah, he gets through the presentation with only a few mistakes (in his defense, ‘faster than light drive’ is much easier to say at a normal speaking rate than a high-on-terror-and-adrenaline speaking rate). He doesn’t forget any crucial information, nor does he need to peek at notecard seven, and he manages to make eye contact with everyone, and he even cracks a few jokes that seem to land well enough. He only has to look at Roman a couple times (whereupon he sees him holding up his phone with a picture of Virgil’s face edited onto the moon, which admittedly does make him smile), but that’s about all Logan can say for sure.

The moment it’s over—finished, done, complete, well and truly over, a wave of relief that Logan is certain his audience can see—he exhales and smiles and powers off the projector. Nothing has ever felt better than the resounding silence in the space now devoid of the projector’s humming.

Well, nothing aside from what happens next.

“That was very intriguing, Logan,” Director Gazebo says, giving him a warm smile and a firm handshake. “I suspect there will be much to discuss tonight.”

“I, um, thank you, direc—sir.” Logan swallows around a tight lump in his throat as the director, along with everyone that followed him in, exits the room, comparing and exchanging notes. Once only Miss Katie-Lee and Roman remain, Logan perches on the sole chair that was empty for the whole presentation.

“That was quite impressive,” Miss Katie-Lee says. “Not to mention how quickly you managed to pull it off, too, even with all those extra assignments I needed from you. You certainly have a keen eye for quality.” Leaving Logan stunned into silence there at the table, Miss Katie-Lee takes her leave. Down to just Logan and Roman.

Logan lets out a long, anguished groan and drops his forehead to the table with a thunk , watching his hands tremble against his thighs. “That could not possibly have gone any—”

“Better? You’re right, you did fantabulous,” Roman cuts in, scraping his chair across the room to Logan’s side. “Man, they loved you. Bet they fast track you to the top after that one. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a solid breakdown of the velocities of space-time travel before, and I’ve certainly never cared about them before.”

Logan allows himself a small laugh through his nose and tries to smile, wondering whether now would be an acceptable time to run amok in the streets, screaming his head off.

“Hey, Logan, buddy?”

“Mmn.”

“You wanna look at me?”

Logan shakes his head, expecting to be left alone, so perhaps you can imagine and understand his surprise when he feels his hair being yanked upward. “Ow!”

Roman laughs and retracts his hand, leaving Logan rubbing at the freshly sore spot at the crown of his head. “What? I needed you to look at me!”

“Why did you need to physically harm the literal hairs on my head to accomplish that?”

“Because it’s important to me that you get how sincere I am when I say what I’m about to say.” The look of unabashed sincerity in Roman’s face is more than a little disquieting, as Logan is far more used to Roman having at least a little humor in his expression. “You did good. You did really, really good.”

Logan looks back down at the table, at the notecards still perfectly parallel to the edge. “Huh. I guess I did, didn’t I?”

[46ten]

Rev John M. Mason on AH’s death

[I have been wanting to do a post about AH and Good Death for awhile - I need this letter (not found on Founders) in its entirety, so I’m posting it here.]

To the Editor of the Commercial Advertiser.

Sir,

Having read, in your paper of the 16th, a very imperfect account of my conversation with General Hamilton, the day previous to his decease, I judge it my duty to lay the following narrative before the public.

On the morning of Wednesday, the 11th inst. shortly after the rumor of the General’s injury had created an alarm in the city, a note from Dr. Post informed me that “he was extremely ill at Mr. Wm. Bayard’s, and expressed a particular desire to see me as soon as possible.” I went immediately. The exchange of melancholy salutation, on entering the General’s apartment, was succeeded by a silence which he broke by saying, that he “had been anxious to see me, and have the sacrament administered to him; and that this was still his wish.” I replied, that “it gave me unutterable pain to receive from him any request to which I could not accede: that, in the present instance, a compliance was incompatible with all my obligations; as it is a principle in our churches never to administer the Lord’s supper privately to any person under any circumstances.” He urged me no further. I then remarked to him, that “the holy communion is an exhibition and pledge of the mercies which the Son of God has purchased; that the absence of the sign does not exclude from the mercies signified; which were accessible to him by faith in their gracious Author.” “I am aware,” said he, “of that. It is only as a sign that I wanted it.” A short pause ensued. I resumed the discourse, by observing that “I had nothing to address him in his affliction, but that same Gospel of the grace of God, which it is my office to preach to the most obscure and illiterate: that in the sight of God all men are on a level, as all men have sinned and come short of his glory; and that they must apply to him for pardon and life, as sinners, whose only refuge is in his grace reigning by righteousness through our Lord Jesus Christ.” “I perceive it to be so,” said he; “I am a sinner: I look to his mercy.” I then adverted to “the infinite merit of the Redeemer, as the propitiation for sin, the sole ground of our acceptance with God; the sole channel of his favor to us; and cited the following passages of scripture, There is no other name given under heaven among men, whereby we must be saved, but the name of Jesus. He is able to save them to the uttermost who come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin.” This last passage introduced the affair of the duel, on which I reminded the General, that he was not to be instructed as to its moral aspect, that the precious blood of Christ was as effectual and as necessary to wash away the transgression which had involved him in suffering, as any other transgression; and that he must there, and there alone, seek peace for his conscience, and a hope that should “not make him ashamed.” He assented, with strong emotion, to these representations, and declared his abhorrence of the whole transaction. “It was always,” added he, “against my principles. I used every expedient to avoid the interview; but I have found, for some time past, that my life must be exposed to that man. I went to the field determined not to take his life.” He repeated his disavowal of all intention to hurt Mr. Burr; the anguish of his mind in recollecting what had passed; and his humble hope of forgiveness from his God. I recurred to the topic of the divine compassions; the freedom of pardon in the Redeemer Jesus to perishing sinners. “That grace, my dear General, which brings salvation is rich, rich.” – “Yes,” interrupted he, “it is rich grace.” – “And on that grace,” continued I, “a sinner has the highest encouragement to repose his confidence, because it is tendered to him upon the surest foundation; the scripture testifying that we have redemption through the blood of Jesus, the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of his grace.” Here the General, letting go my hand, which he had held from the moment I sat down at his bedside, clasped his hands together, and, looking up towards heaven, said, with emphasis, “I have a tender reliance on the mercy of the Almighty, through the merits of the Lord Jesus Christ.” He replaced his hand in mine, and appearing somewhat spent, closed his eyes. A little after, he fastened them on me, and I proceeded. “The simple truths of the Gospel, my dear sir, which require no abstruse investigation, but faith in the veracity of God who cannot lie, are best suited to your present condition, and they are full of consolation.” – “I feel them to be so,” replied he. I then repeated these texts of scripture: It is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, and of sinners the chief. I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” “This,” said he, “is my support. Pray for me.” – “Shall I pray with you?” – “Yes.” I prayed with him, and heard him whisper as I went along, which I supposed to be his concurrence with the petitions. At the conclusion, he said, “Amen. God grant it.”

Being about to part with him, I told him, “I had one request to make.” He asked “what it was!” I answered, “that whatever might be the issue of his affliction, he would give his testimony against the practice of dueling.”--“I will,” said he. “I have done it. If that,” evidently anticipating the event, “if that be the issue, you will find it in writing. If it please God that I recover, I shall do it in a manner which will effectually put me out of its reach in future.” I mentioned, once more, the importance of renouncing every other dependence for the eternal world, but the mercy of God in Christ Jesus; with a particular reference to the catastrophe of the morning. The General was affected, and said, “Let us not pursue the subject any further, it agitates me.” He laid his hands upon his breast, with symptoms of uneasiness, which indicated an increased difficulty of speaking. I then took my leave. He pressed my hand affectionately, and desired to see me again at a proper interval. As I was retiring, he lifted up his hands in the attitude of prayer, and said feebly, “God be merciful to------” His voice sunk, so that I heard not the rest distinctly, but understood him to quote the words of the publican in the Gospel, and to end with, “me a sinner.”

I saw him, a second time, on the morning of Thursday; but from his appearance, and what I had heard, supposing that he could not speak without severe effort, I had no conversation with him. I prayed for a moment at his bedside, in company with his overwhelmed family and friends; and for the rest, was one of the spectators of his composure and dignity in suffering. His mind remained in its former state, and he viewed with calmness his approaching dissolution. I left him between twelve and one, and at two, as the public knows, he breathed his last. I am sir, With much respect, Your obedient servant, J. M. Mason

New York, July 18th, 1804

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This is taken from the Appendix of The Complete Works of John M. Mason, Vol 4, edited by his son, first published in 1849 (pgs 524- 527).  Mason’s “Funeral Oration on the Death of General Hamilton” begins on pg 499. 

This letter was also published in the New York Post on July 20th, 1804.

John M. Mason (born 1770) was the minister of the Scotch Presbyterian Church on Cedar Street in NY, close to AH’s downtown residence.  His father (also named John Mason) was friends with Rev. Hugh Knox, and was likely one of AH’s first contacts in NY. 

[luxuriejaded-blog]

moral attention: a meta on nick’s ability

     Let’s talk ability, shall we?      I’m gonna be honest with you -- Nick’s ability is...weird. Not necessarily because it’s difficult to understand, but because it’s less a magic ability and more a heightened sense of intuition. There’s nothing fanciful about it; it isn’t flashy. Actually, much like Nick, it’s unobtrusive and down-to-earth, practical even, dare I say useful. Its peculiarity makes it rare and, as a result, makes it almost wildly difficult to understand. In a way, it’s probably the closest to Ranpo’s “ability,” Super Deduction, though it’s all the more specific and honed in.      At its heart, Moral Attention is a lie detector, just more reliable and fine turned. It’s hypersensitive to not only lies, but half-truths, illusions, superficiality, and all manner of distortion. It’s every con man’s worst nightmare -- tricking / deceiving Nick is a hard thing to do, given not only his natural skepticism, but the nature of Moral Attention. However, like every lie detector that there is, Moral Attention cannot discern what that truth is, it can only detect the mask. It’s a lot more useful for Nick as opposed for other people, but because it’s useful for Nick, he’s inclined to complete work that is more objective and fully understood as compared to other individuals. While the ability may not be useful outright, it’s introverted nature lends Nick to be a useful agent and person. It requires an active component for it to have effect; it’s up to Nick himself whether or not he’ll tell others if it’s the truth or another lie. In the end, it’s an ability meant for survival and is already quite limited in its capacity for gain.      That being said, I’ve always imagined it being exceptionally annoying to Nick. Moral Attention, as I’ve mentioned, is hypersensitive to all manners of distortion -- this includes little white lies and sentences we tend to fling offhand, as well as prejudice, natural bias, and half-baked sentiments. Truth, while it can be objective, can also be purely subjective, but Moral Attention can’t discern that. It can only tell what isn’t true and a lot of things -- as I’m sure you know -- isn’t, well, the truth. The ability will affect Nick differently depending on how grand and elaborate that lie is, but in day-to-day affairs, it can be exceptionally taxing.      How does it affect Nick? It distorts his reality or, rather, it distorts how he senses and sees the world around him. Words and noises become muffled or static-like or suddenly sharp in clarity; a sudden uptake in color saturation or his vision begins to blur; Nick might be able to feel the fabric of his clothes resting on his skin and it feels off -- maybe, if he’s touching the offender, their body gets suddenly cold, maybe he can’t feel them at all; something “smells fishy,” or oddly strong smells suddenly waft into being with no precedent. As I’ve said, it depends on how grand and how elaborate that lie is. Small lies or small distortions are sudden and disorientating, but they go as quickly as come so they don’t bother Nick as much as individuals who crafted full-blown stories. The self-delusional few who build their entire lives on facades and make-believe escapades can easily make the man physically sick. Even if Nick likes them -- of which there are a notable few -- their presence can result in immediate removal. As you can imagine, under the influence of such an ability, large social gatherings and big crowds of people can be exceptionally draining -- and, you’re right. Nick’s sociable, but he’s never been a fan of going to grander-than-life parties and places of buzzing activity. He doesn’t mind them, per say -- in fact, he enjoys them when he goes -- but he can easily live without them. He only goes if and when he’s invited to attend, and/or curiosity compels him to search for an adventure, but even then? Nick feels much better sitting on the sidelines and watching, rather than participating, due to holding back large reserves of energy to keep his ability from acting up.      Is it passive or active? At its core, Moral Attention is passive, but it can be curtailed. Nick has mastered the art of self-control and can easily keep it at bay when performing social rites. He wouldn’t be able to get by if he didn’t. But, I imagine it’s probably difficult and takes a lot of reserve to keep it from getting too out of hand. Under emotional duress, in which Nick loses his composure, it can quickly come crashing down upon him with the weight of the world’s lies. This is what typically causes him to undergo emotional crisis and most definitely can worsen the stress, giving his reality a super unreality when nothing feels like it’s making sense anyway.      Speaking of emotions, does this affect Nick on a psychological and emotional level? Yes, in a way. Some of it can be attributed to Nick’s personality more so than Moral Attention itself, but I can see Nick feeling quite alienated from everyone else, like an outsider looking in, like he doesn’t quite belong there. This can stem from several causes, one being Nick’s natural reserve and conservatism, but I do believe that the ability makes it difficult for Nick to fully enjoy himself with other people. Imagine -- you, simply hanging out with your friends, having a good time, laughing and talking. Then boom, your reality shifts. Maybe your friend’s voice caused your ears to ring, maybe the colors are all the wrong shade, maybe your girlfriend’s scent of cherry perfume suddenly smells like shit -- someone said something that was off, incorrect, but inconsequential, and now you have to piece yourself together and recollect what was once your reality. Or, get used to the one just constructed for you. It’d be pretty debilitating, and really disorientating. Not to mention, entirely your own burden to handle. No one else gets that way, no one else sees that world you just depicted, and trying to explain -- particularly in Nick’s mind -- would be meddlesome and pointless. It’s better to just quickly get over it, or pretend it didn’t happen than to raise a ruckus over one small detail someone just got wrong. And him trying to curtail it, to keep back those energies, takes a lot of stress. Huge affairs, big crowds, loud parties -- fun as they are, they make Nick feel wrong and off. Even without the ability on standby, he knows people are lying -- he’s aware of that world being in existence -- and it’s hard to lose yourself and let go once you have that mindset ingrained within you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nick was paranoid and naturally distrusting. To give up his trust would mean to be vulnerable, and he isn’t sure how to do that knowing all the different ways people can distort his reality. He’s...cautious, and may be prone to cynicism.      It sounds more malicious than beneficial. Why does Phantom keep it classified, then? Why does Nick tell the Guild he has a completely different ability in its stead? It doesn’t sound all that powerful. And, you wouldn’t be wrong. No -- in comparison to other abilities? It’s probably very weak and arguably one of the most annoying -- BUT, Phantom is a neutral organization that dispenses agent’s into other, more overt organizations to keep no one more powerful than each other. Phantom agents are influencers, instigators, planners, tacticians, spies, persuaders, and everything akin to it. By implanting Nick, they want him to influence the Guild by less than extraordinary means and without raising any attention in the meantime. Moral Attention, though small, can still be used if put into the wrong hands. Knowing that the ability doesn’t guarantee Nick being honest as well, it can also bring Nick in harm’s way. Someone who can pick up all facets of dishonesty? In an organization that’s primarily self-interested and business-oriented, a person who can sniff out being cheated would be remarkably beneficial. Yes, Nick can lie, but that would be too much of a risk factor -- his ability would give him too much undue attention and put him into a highly touted position in which getting caught in being dishonest would result in some immediate backlash. It would defeat the purpose of gaining no attention and quietly influencing -- it would be counterproductive to the Phantom’s goals. They want to make sure the Guild is in line with the other organizations, on equal footing. Knowing Nick’s ability would upset that balance. Not to mention, it’s a bad basis for trust. I mean, would you talk to the guy who can tell your every lie, who can out you by you misplacing one accidental word? It’d be a disaster. Moral Attention helps Nick determine what to investigate and where best to influence, as well as other people’s weaknesses and gives him a glimpse into their lives, where things contradict and where they don’t -- if they knew he could do that, it would result in nobody every trusting Nick...ever...they wouldn’t depend on him as a trustworthy confidant, which is one of Nick’s key characteristics, his natural ability to have people open up to him. While yes, Moral Attention wouldn’t greatly tip the scales in favor of the Guild, it would also make Nick’s job as a mole and influencer much more difficult, I think. Lying about Nick’s ability was a choice to help him gain a specific reputation, a specific reputation that would merit good opinion, but no supreme power.      Oh...so, what about the Phantoms? How do they use it? Most of it is up to Nick. He is undercover, after all, and working as a means to gather and push certain information, whilst accumulating a reputation that would render him a trustworthy sort. The ability, being as low-scaled and down-to-earth as it is, is useful in that regard, to pick up and investigate without gaining any traction. But, the Phantoms do reserve specific jobs for Nick -- interrogation and questioning (yes, he does torture, but only out of necessity), and diplomacy (his personality lends well to this career). Out of all the jobs Nick enjoys playing diplomat the best, and the higher-ups are definitely considering putting him in that position permanently, as a reward for his long service and moral struggle. Especially since with the renewal of the Guild, Nick would have a hard time finding a place back among their ranks after basically ditching them. I’ll go more into Nick’s relations with the Guild later and if I ever meet any other active Guild RPers because I wanna.      In conclusion: Moral Attention is a weirdly specific ability that’s useful, but causes a lot of disturbance for the user and can easily be mishandled if put into the hands of more self-serving individuals.

[pamphletstoinspire]

Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary - Feast Day: August 22nd - Ordinary Time

Feast of Queenship

Queenship of Mary is a Marian feast day in the liturgical calendar of the Roman Catholic Church, created by Pope Pius XII. On 11 October 1954, the Pontiff pronounced the new feast in his encyclical Ad caeli reginam. The feast was celebrated on May 31, the last day of the Marian month. In 1969, Pope Paul VI moved the feast day to August 22.

The movement to officially recognize the Queenship of Mary was initially promoted by several Catholic Mariological congresses in Lyon France, Freiburg Germany, and Einsiedeln Switzerland. Gabriel Roschini founded in Rome, Italy, an international society to promote the Queenship of Mary, Pro Regalitate Mariae. Several Popes had described Mary as Queen and Queen of Heaven, which was documented by Gabriel Roschini. Pope Pius XII repeated the title in numerous encyclicals and Apostolic Letters, especially during World War II.

Veneration

The Catholic faith states as a dogma, that Mary is assumed into heaven, and is with Jesus Christ, her Divine Son. Mary should be called Queen, not only because of her Divine Motherhood of Jesus Christ, but also because God has willed her to have an exceptional role in the work of eternal salvation. The encyclical Ad Caeli Reginam argues, that Christ as redeemer is Lord and King. The Blessed Virgin is Queen, because of her unique manner in which she assisted in our redemption, by giving of her own substance, by freely offering Him for us, by her singular desire and petition for, and active interest.

Mary was chosen Mother of Christ so she might become a partner in the redemption of the human race; The Catholic Church always venerated the queen of Heaven, according to Pius XII, as From the earliest ages of the Catholic Church a Christian People, whether in time of triumph or more especially In time of crisis, has addressed prayers of petition and Hymns of praise and veneration to the Queen of Heaven and never has that hope wavered which they placed in the Mother of the Divine King, Jesus Christ; nor has that faith ever failed by which we are taught that Mary, the Virgin Mother of God, reigns with a mother’s solicitude over the entire world, just as she is crowned in heavenly blessedness with the glory of a Queen.

The Blessed Virgin has not only received the grade of excellence and perfection which is supreme after that of Christ Himself but has also received some sharing of the efficacy by which her Son and our Redeemer is rightly and properly said to reign over the minds and wills of men. For if the word of God performs miracles and gives graces through the humanity He has assumed, if He employs the sacraments and His saints as instruments for the salvation of souls, why should He not use His mother’s office and efforts to bring us the fruits of the Redemption?

We may transmit the comparison between Mary’s intercessory power and that of other saints. Certainly if they can pray in our behalf and obtain favors we should not otherwise receive, how much more the Queen of Saints and the Mother of the Author of grace. The remarkable thing is to associate the Blessed Virgin’s share in our Redemption with the humanity of her divine Son and to compare its efficacy with the function of the sacramental system. Both analogies are penetrating concepts.

By relating Mary’s role of mediatrix to the human nature of Christ, the Pope wished to emphasize what even Catholics are liable to forget, that while God can perform by His own power all that is effected by created natures, yet in the counsels of His providence He has preferred to help men by the instrumentality of other men - whose efficacy for sanctifying others depends on their proximity to the human nature assumed by the Son of God. Viewed in this light, the potentiality of the Blessed Virgin as an instrument of grace takes on staggering proportion. As the woman whose consent made the Incarnation possible, who carried in her womb and brought into the world the word made flesh, and whose association with Christ during His life and sympathy in death were the most intimate conceivable - her efficacy at the throne of God must be, without fear of exaggeration, “almost immeasurable in power.

If we compare Mary’s mediation with the sacraments of the New Law, we gain a further insight into there place in the economy of salvation. We know that on the level of sanctification nothing is more internal than heavenly grace which begets holiness; and yet the ordinary and chief means of obtaining grace are external, in the form of sacraments administered by men specially chosen for that purpose and by means of external rites. In baptism there is pouring of water; in confirmation and extreme unction, anointing with oil; in orders, the imposition of hands; in matrimony, the expressed acceptance by the two spouses; and in penance, the vocal and visible absolution by the priest. All these actions are external and their agents are all human , but conditioned on their performance in the spirit of faith, such transcendent changes occur in the spiritual world as the removal of a lifetime of sin by a sign of the cross and the conversion of a piece of bread into the Body of Christ.

The more clearly we see how the Blessed Virgin shares in this type of sacramental efficiency, the less scandalized we shall be to say that “as God is the Father and Lord of the universe, preparing all by His power, so the Blessed Mary, repairing all things by her merits, is the ruler and mother of all.” While remaining subordinate to her Son as a creature to her Creator, she was instituted by Him on the cross as the great sacrament of His mercy and the visible sign of internal grace which He promised to those who, like Pius XII, “approach with confidence to the throne of our Queen and Mother to beg help in difficulty, light in darkness, and solace in trouble and sorrow.”

*

Queen of Heaven In Art

Artworks, including paintings, mosaics and carvings of the coronation of Mary as Queen of Heaven, became increasingly popular from the 13th century onward. Works follow a set pattern, showing Mary kneeling in the heavenly court, and being crowned either by Jesus alone, or else by Jesus and God the Father together, with the Holy Spirit, usually in the form of a dove, completing the Trinity. The Coronation of Mary is almost entirely a theme of western art. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, although Mary is often shown wearing the crown, the coronation itself never became an accepted artistic subject.

[policytensor]

There is a problem with workhorse linear regression models. The problem is that the relationship between the response and the conditioners may not be linear, or even linearizable. This is not that big an issue when the true relationship is at least monotonic. When it is not, it is easy to get spurious results. In fact, unless the pattern is completely random, when we regress a response on a bunch of conditioners, we are bound to find significant relationships where none exist due to sheer randomness — overfitting is the bane of econometrics. Moreover, while we may be able to visualize one-on-one relationships via scatter plots, that becomes less and less feasible as we add more and more conditioners to our model. We can’t check all the conditional relationships. And so some of the slopes we find significant may be an artifact of our choice of conditioners. Whether or not we should control for particular sets of variables depends on the underlying causal diagram that we are trying to uncover in the first place.

The machine learning approach is to resort to robust estimation techniques and/or out-of-sample cross-validation. There is great merit to these approaches, but they too have their limitations. They work better when one is trying to isolate a pattern that exists out there irrespective of the sample data. For then it makes sense to divvy up the data into training and testing subsets and check whether a model trained on the training subset works out-of-sample in the testing subset. But this may not always be advisable or suitable. In particular, it is unsuitable in forensic work.

Take the question that we have asked again and again — why did Trump win? Working with data at the county level, do we want train our model of the Trump swing on a random selection of say 2000 counties and see how it performs in the 1000 or so counties left out? I am not persuaded that that is a good idea. For there is no guarantee that a random selection of two-thirds of US counties is representative of the country as a whole. We want to know who put this guy in the Oval and why did they choose to do so. We can’t do that by pretending that counties are interchangeable and drawn from the same distribution. More generally, whenever we are interested not in uncovering a pattern that holds in general, but getting to the bottom of a specific historical instance, cross-validation makes little sense.

That brings us to non-parametric alternatives that may help us identify the underlying causal diagram. In what follows, we revisit the perennial question with a completely different weapon in hand. Here’s what we are going to do: For any candidate conditioner, say, overdose death rate, we will divvy up the counties by discretizing the conditioner into quintiles (5 equal parts), and then test whether the means of the Trump swing differ across these buckets. Specifically, we will test whether the means of the bottom two and top two quintiles differ from the middle quintile. We use a multiple comparison test based on the Kruskal–Wallis test by ranks — recall that rank-based methods are relatively robust to outliers. This is a much more robust way of isolating the underlying gradients than linear regressions or machine learning techniques. The reason is that we are making absolutely minimal assumptions about the data generating process. While this approach may not allow us to identify the underlying causal structure completely — in particular, it leaves us clueless to the conditional relationships — the results we do find will be robust, quantifiable, visualizable, and easy-to-interpret. Moreover, we shall use the 1 percent level of significance to be extra sure that our results aren’t spurious. So much for methodology. Let’s get on with the analysis. All data below is from Social Explorer.

Table 1 displays the main results. Each row contains means of the Trump swing (Trump vote share less Romney’s vote share by county) conditional of feature quintile. For instance, the first row shows that the bottom 20 percent of counties by college graduation rate swung to Trump by 6.4 percent, the second quintile swung to Trump by 5.8 percent — both of which were significantly greater than the 4.9 percent swing to Trump in the reference quintile (Q3). Meanwhile, the penultimate quintile of counties by college graduation rate did not swing significantly to Trump more than the reference quintile, but the top quintile swung significantly away from Trump by 1.8 percent.

Table 1. Mean Trump swing conditional on feature quintile in the cross-section of US counties. Q1 Q2 Q3 (reference) Q4 Q5 Kruskal Wallis P College graduation rate 6.4% 5.8% 4.9% 3.1% -1.8% 0 Premature mortality rate 0.9% 3.3% 4.1% 4.8% 5.4% 0 Teen birth rate 1.7% 4.3% 4.4% 4.4% 3.7% 0 Smoking rate -0.2% 3.6% 3.9% 5.0% 5.8% 0 Drinking rate 4.1% 3.8% 3.0% 3.6% 3.8% 0 Limited food options 4.6% 3.6% 3.4% 3.1% 3.7% 0 Access to exercise 5.8% 5.4% 4.7% 2.7% -0.4% 0 Food environment index 2.9% 3.8% 4.1% 4.1% 3.4% 0 Voting age citizens 4.8% 5.5% 4.8% 3.8% -0.6% 0 Percent white 0.9% 1.6% 2.5% 5.3% 8.0% 0 Percent black 4.8% 4.5% 4.4% 2.6% 2.1% 0 Percent Hispanic 7.5% 5.6% 3.7% 1.5% -0.1% 0 Less than high school 1.4% 4.2% 4.4% 4.2% 4.1% 0 High school only -2.3% 2.0% 4.6% 6.0% 8.0% 0 Some college only 3.7% 3.9% 3.9% 3.9% 3.1% 0.944 BA only 6.6% 5.4% 4.8% 3.2% -1.7% 0 MA only 5.7% 5.8% 4.9% 3.0% -1.2% 0 Professional degree 5.4% 5.6% 5.1% 3.4% -1.1% 0 PhD 5.8% 6.0% 4.7% 2.8% -0.9% 0 Median family income 5.1% 5.0% 4.4% 3.7% 0.0% 0 Median household income 5.1% 5.0% 4.6% 3.8% -0.3% 0 Per capita income 4.5% 4.8% 4.6% 3.9% 0.4% 0 Overdose death rate 1.6% 2.4% 3.6% 4.3% 6.3% 0 Net migration rate 4.2% 6.0% 5.3% 2.9% 0.0% 0 Multiple comparison test based on the Kruskal-Wallis rank test statistic for difference of means conditional on quintiles. Estimates in bold are significantly different from the reference quintile (Q3) at the 1 percent level. N=3,111 US counties. Source: Social Explorer, author’s computations.

The results show that the strongest conditioners of the Trump swing were (1) percent of the population with only a high school diploma, (2) percent of the populace with a doctorate, (3) overdose death rate, (4) percent of the population considered White, and (5) percent of the population that is Hispanic. All five of these conditioners have a very significant gradient and the pattern is strongly monotonic. Comparing the bottom and top quintiles of these conditioners yields a jump of 10.3 percent, -6.8 percent, 4.7 percent, 7.1 percent, and -7.6 percent respectively.

Just to be extra confident in these results we exclude outliers and rerun the algorithm. Table 2 displays the results.

Table 2. Mean Trump swing conditional on feature quintile (excluding outliers). Q1 Q2 Q3 (reference) Q4 Q5 Kruskal Wallis P College graduation rate 6.3% 5.9% 5.1% 3.4% -1.3% 0 Premature mortality rate 1.5% 3.8% 4.3% 4.8% 5.3% 0 Teen birth rate 2.3% 4.5% 4.7% 4.4% 3.8% 0 Smoking rate 0.7% 3.7% 4.0% 5.1% 5.8% 0 Drinking rate 4.9% 3.8% 3.2% 3.7% 3.9% 0 Limited food options 4.8% 4.0% 3.6% 3.4% 3.9% 0 Access to exercise 5.8% 5.8% 4.9% 2.8% 0.1% 0 Food environment index 3.2% 3.9% 4.1% 4.5% 3.8% 0 Voting age citizens 5.0% 5.7% 5.2% 4.0% -0.2% 0 Percent white 1.0% 1.8% 3.1% 5.7% 7.9% 0 Percent black 5.4% 5.1% 4.5% 2.7% 2.1% 0 Percent Hispanic 7.4% 5.7% 3.9% 2.1% 0.4% 0 Less than high school 2.0% 4.5% 4.6% 4.3% 4.0% 0 High school only -1.7% 2.4% 4.8% 6.2% 7.8% 0 Some college only 3.7% 3.8% 3.9% 4.1% 4.0% 0.85 BA only 6.5% 5.5% 5.0% 3.5% -1.1% 0 MA only 5.8% 5.9% 5.3% 3.3% -0.8% 0 Professional degree 5.5% 5.9% 5.3% 3.6% -0.7% 0 PhD 5.8% 6.1% 4.9% 3.1% -0.4% 0 Median family income 5.2% 5.1% 4.7% 4.0% 0.4% 0 Median household income 5.2% 5.0% 4.8% 4.1% 0.3% 0 Per capita income 4.8% 5.3% 4.9% 3.9% 0.6% 0 Overdose death rate 1.7% 2.6% 3.8% 5.0% 6.4% 0 Net migration rate 4.3% 6.0% 5.5% 3.4% 0.4% 0 Multiple comparison test based on the Kruskal-Wallis rank test statistic for difference of means conditional on quintiles. Estimates in bold are significantly different from the reference quintile (Q3) at the 1 percent level. N=3,091 US counties. Source: Social Explorer, author’s computations.

The results in Table 2 are congruent with those in Table 1. The strongest conditioners remain (1) percent of the population with only a high school diploma, (2) percent of the populace with a PhD, (3) overdose death rate, (4) percent of the population considered White, and (5) percent of the population that is Hispanic. Comparing the bottom and top quintiles of these conditioners yields a jump of 9.5 percent, -6.3 percent, 4.6 percent, 7.0 percent, and -7.0 percent respectively. The differences in means excluding outliers are a bit attenuated compared to those reported in the previous paragraph. But they are stable. This gives us good confidence in the robustness of our results.

The strongest conditioner of the Trump swing was percent of the populace with only a high school diploma; second strongest conditioner was percent of the populace with a doctorate — the orthogonal complement of the first. These variables capture the primacy of the class axis. Put simply, Trump’s election was the revolt of the white working class.

The next figure displays the mean ranks of the counties by Trump swing conditional on quintiles of percentage of population by quintile. We can see that there is a very strong relationship between the mean ranks by Trump swing and the proportion of the populace that is working class. The means in red are significantly different from the reference quintile in blue.

Indeed, this single feature explains 47 percent of the variation in the Trump swing in the cross-section of US counties. The gradient is so large that counter-factually increasing the percent of the populace by one standard deviation unit yields an additional +3.4 percent swing to Trump. The standardized gradients for other significant conditioners are displayed in the next figure. They must be taken with a pinch of salt because of the factors discussed above.

The results displayed in the two tables above are must more reliable that the gradients. The next set of figures graphs the conditional means. Where the relationship is monotonic we can be much more confident of the gradients. This is only robustly true for the five features isolated above.

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The evidence marshaled here reinforces the story we have uncovered. Trump is a symptom of the breakdown of elite-mass relations. He is in the white house because the white working class has revolted. But why is the white working class in revolt?

The left has been just as much in the grip of economism as neoliberal economists. As I plow through the literature on the white working class, I am finding again and again that this is the fundamental limiting factor. For all the hoopla about the cultural turn, we have failed to update our discourse and strategies to reflect the primacy of culture. For instance, the left has expected workers, assumed to be alienated from their work under capitalism, to unite around their shared interest against the owners of capital since at least 1848. With no sign of that, generations of leftists have effectively blamed the working class for sporting a false consciousness. But workers are not alienated from their work (Crawford 2009, Torlina 2011). To the contrary, blue-collar work, hard manual labor, is central to the meaning-making of the working class (Lamont 2000, Jensen 2012). Even most cultural sociologists have ignored this enduring reality. Torlina puts it best in Working Class: Challenging Myths About Blue-collar Labor:

Rather than the depictions of subservience, alienation, and meaninglessness that describe blue-collar work in social science textbooks, it became clear that these workers were proud of their trades and their products. They felt important in their skills and their efforts, and many of them regarded manual labor as the essential ingredient to an honorable and meaningful life.

Fast forward to post-GFC diagnoses. The entire left-progressive discourse amounts to an all-in bet on political mobilization around inequality. But vertical polarization in income and wealth per se just does not have same valence in the working class as it does among progressive social and cultural elites like us. The breakdown of elite-mass relations and the attendant rage of the white working class is only conditioned by the material reality of vertical polarization — it is instead driven primarily by the concentration of symbolic production in the hands of the cultural elite and their favored cities and college towns (Brooks 2001) and the attendant cultural desertification of the rest of the country (Lind 2020). The symbolic annihilation of the working class (Gerbner and Gross 1976, Butsch 2017) is exacerbated by the classism of our class — evident in both the self-congratulation of Boasian antiracism (Farooqui 2019) and the everyday ‘hidden injuries of class’ (Sennett and Cobb 1993, Jensen 2012, Williams 2017).

Many scholars to our right seem to be paying more attention to the importance of keeping both balls — economics and culture — in the air at the same time (Murray 2013, Cherlin 2014, Lind 2020). Although otherwise quite impressive, I do not believe that any of them have fully diagnosed the breakdown of elite-mass relations either. This task is not optional. Restoration of elite-mass relations in the West in general, and the United States in particular, is a prerequisite for a solution to the planetary impasse. For a stable sociopolitical alignment of forces is necessary to see through the energy transition. And the only actor capable of remaking the world is a resurgent social democracy anchored on a progressive-working class alliance. How to bring that about is the central challenge we face. All else is secondary.

The progressive achievements since the 1970s that have brought race and gender relations to the center of the discourse have now become obstacles in the only path out of the planetary impasse. This is because the cultural elite have come to be overwhelmingly dominated by professional antiracists whose principal job seems to be boundary work against the allegedly racist working class. But this policing is absolutely antithetical to any possibility of a progressive-working class alliance. That’s our real problem. And it is not going to go away even if Sanders wins the White House.

The Trump Swing Revisited There is a problem with workhorse linear regression models. The problem is that the relationship between the response and the conditioners may not be linear, or even linearizable.

[truckaccidentlawfirmzgsf661-blog]

3 Common Reasons Why Your Chandler AZ personal injury Attorney Isn't Working (And How To Fix It)

Escamilla Law Group Lawyer - Fighting Hard For Personal Injury Clients in Chandler Arizona

Working with a personal injury lawyer in Chandler is approximately a lot more than obtaining the settlement you deserve. Seeking counsel during these difficult times covers your entire bases. From subrogation liens to settlement negotiations, statute of limitations, insurance caps and much more, we've got your back. Our lawyer prides itself in supplying the best legal representation for clients in Chandler GA with accidental injury cases.

The First Consultation in Chandler Arizona

The initial step would be to get in touch with us for your personal initial consultation. At the ELGlaw firm, this site offers free consultations for clients without any sales tactics. It really is your selection regardless of whether you wish to sign a contingency agreement along with us. Our duty is to tell you why it benefits you to have attorney in your corner to assist you to with the case.

We will shed light about the merit of the accident claim, and we are here to reply to all your questions throughout the consultation and as we move ahead building your case. As you might have often heard, it's vital that you act quickly with regards to retaining an attorney following a accidental injuries. You need your attorney to deal with all first party coverages, you want a claim filed in a timely manner and you do not desire to take any action that really works against you while moving towards a settlement.

Chandler AZ - Settle Or File Suit?

Many clients wonder once we often take cases to court, meaning we file suit for our clients. You will find occasions when this is the best path to take, but many cases are settled outside of court. You may still find legal battles and loopholes outside the courtroom to look at, and there's much we could do that you can be sure you have the settlement you deserve.

Offers of judgment and insurance laws generally can be complicated. We have now the legal expertise to assist you minimize your downside risk while training the most effective settlement. Recognize that litigation and court costs can definitely mount up. Basically we will make arrangements to pay for these for you personally upfront when your case would go to court, the goal would be to place you in the most effective financial position possible advancing.

At the same time, it is with the best interest of each party to settle outside of court. We wish our clients in Chandler to learn that we get the legal expertise to push against these insurance providers, pressuring them to be satisfied with appropriate levels of money.

Furthermore, without having attorney, injured people often discover that insurance carriers wish to push them into litigation. Why? It's since these companies hold the resources, legal counsel as well as the time to be able to stand their ground. Injured persons don't have those advantages and so are often biding time as well as are specifically not provided with the legal knowledge to work with insurance laws for their advantage.

The Powerless in Chandler

It's not merely about understanding the insurance laws. It is impossible for clients to fight big entities without legal representation. At ELGLaw Practice, we know how to undertake most of these claims. Yet no case is just too big or not big enough. Our company is your counsel in terms of low impact cases as well.

Regardless of measurements of the situation, it is possible to feel powerless. You are from the hot seat with medical bills due, lost wages, etc. Insurance laws help to be confusing, and you also may need a legal professional who can clear up matters for you personally.

Kinds of Accidental Injury Cases

Our company specializes in handling different styles of personal injury cases, including auto accidents, malpractice, wrongful death, workers compensation claims and unpaid wages. We also handle insurance companies that have acted in bad faith, cases involving dangerous products and elderly care facility abuse.

Once you notify us regarding your case, we promise to satisfy you face-to-face where you stand in 24-48 hrs. You will find a chat live button on our website, or call our law practice toll-free to schedule the original consultation. Whatever kind of case you possess, take confidence in the point that we are going to help you find the best possible resolve.

Chandler Automobile Accidents

For those who have been injured in a automobile accident, we have the expertise and experience necessary to fight for you personally. Are available multiple people responsible for the accident? If you have, it's important to understand that we can deal with accident reconstruction so that you can sort each claim you need to file.

Insurance firms have accident reconstruction experts. If you end up getting through a case much like the one described, then it could be absolutely essential to counter with your own expert in order to validate your claim. The only method you are likely to do this is with the best legal representation in your favor.

There are so many various kinds of accidental injuries cases on the market. Each pair of circumstances is individual on the client. Add in all the laws and legal loopholes and you have a mess without the proper attorney working for you. Time is ticking, and you need to hire the best personal injury attorney to assist you to sort everything out. We believe you can't do better than us. We at ELGAttorneys at Law will be ready to serve.

A Person To Listen

Not only do we give the best legal services, but we make an effort to be there for our clients in an exceedingly personal way. We know that this experience is incredibly stressful for yourself. We want to help alleviate the burden you happen to be bearing, providing you with advice, a listening ear and shedding light on your own case and claim. We wish to help with all the current making decisions, too, together with your needs under consideration.

While among life's trials, your case doesn't must be frustrating and stressful. Around on the helm, you're likely to feel significantly better concerning your case advancing. We are going to fight for your largest settlement amount, and that we know how to complete the task.

We are available to you 24/7, and we're not gonna leave you hanging. You want our clients to know they may always trust us keeping in close communication. We are always a listening ear, therefore we can answer any questions maybe you have. We will help you through every step with this process.

Experience Talks

There is a choice with regards to accidental injuries attorneys in Chandler GA. We all know that, and that is certainly why we wish to convince you we work most effectively selection for you. Experience talks, and therefore statement isn't just associated with dealing with various types of cases. It's about coping with specific insurance firms, courtroom experience and a lot more.

We should bring our experience on the meeting table and prove to you throughout the initial consultation that people are the law office you require on your side. The insurance policy companies are aware of us, and that we don't play games. We fight hard for clients because we know how easy it can be to feel powerless in situations like these.

Insurance firms are supposed to protect individuals, but it's a numbers game. There are several unknowns when dealing with accidental injury cases, too. Sometimes your preferences change when your case and medical situation progresses. In those instances, you require the very best legal team watching over you while you move forward.

Avoid Insurance Adjusters

Let's say that you like everything you see to date, but you're still sitting undecided about talking to us to assist you with your claim. Know that an insurance adjuster is just not your friend. He or she knows how to handle claimants that happen to be unrepresented. Before you know it, you will have believed to much and possess agreed to terms that seem pleasing however they are anything but what could be considered logical and in your best interest.

These adjusters aren't evil, but are playing a numbers game, with a lot of unknown factors as i have said. You have to take a seat around for any consultation before you even speak with the insurance company. What will happen should you accept an agreement offer from the insurance company, however your injuries worsen after a while?

Those unknown factors along with the simple truth that legal battles require legal expertise should keep you clear of talking relates to any insurance firm. We have been in your favor, and not only that, we place important on each case we take on, including low impact cases.

There are many lawyers out there who show up their noses at low impact cases due to meager settlement amounts. Every settlement and each and every client is essential to us, and we would like to show you that people are able to put in the work.

Proper Medical Care

Many clients wind up stuck not knowing what you can do when it comes to medical treatment alongside a pending case and settlement. We not only have the best advice, but we know the way important proper evaluation and health care would be to your well being. Medical care over a lien basis is just one benefit to hiring a personal injury attorney.

We will help you seek out the very best medical treatment advancing and may continue to analyze how these updates to your case and claim impact your settlement. We certainly have handled insurance companies over these matters time and again. You want you to definitely understand that we have now your back. You deserve the ideal medical treatment possible.

Making Decisions

As the case moves forward, it could be time to file suit. We shall know when this time comes, so we can also help you select when it's a chance to settle. If arbitration or mediation is necessary, we now have that covered for you too. We are experts in dispute resolution, therefore we take every legal battle seriously.

In certain injury cases, federal laws apply. There are occasions when underinsurance claims must be handled. We would like to help you be aware of the details of your case. We aren't just going to take the reins. We aim to guide and educate, empowering you while we lead how.

What exactly is the right settlement amount? It really is never cut and dry, though insurance carriers want you to feel that right out from the gate. Hitting the gym the very best settlement needs time and is going to based on your individual circumstances. Take heart, however, that we are going to try to expedite your claim. You want you in order to receive the best settlement immediately.

Understand that the initial call is to us. We will handle the insurance company and also the DMV. Usually do not get on the phone together with your insurance carrier, as they are recording you together with looking for information to use against you. The quicker you get in touch with us, the higher.

At ELGAttorneys at Law, we have been your advocate. We know all the particulars of personal injury law. Our experience talks, so we take every case personally. Don't let the insurance companies using their exclusions and limitations intimidate you. They may be intimidated by us, and that is certainly the reason why you want us with your corner.

Expect nothing short of the best legal representation from your law office. We do the job over a contingency basis, meaning we have been attempting to line your pockets, not the opposite. Quite a bit is put into creating a accidental injury case and making insurance firms shell out maximum settlements, and we have the expertise and experience to deal with this for you.

Don't hesitate to call us toll-free or chat live to go over establishing your initial consultation. Keep in mind that we come to you, quickly, and that we will handle all the information of your own case from this point forward. You no longer have to deal with the insurance company.

[sfgooglebooks]

The Rose Red Bride by Claire Delacroix

Vivienne crept past the door, then continued silently to the top floor of the tower. The staircase emerged in the center of that level, with a chamber on either side beneath the pitched roof. A ladder led to the peak of the roof, a trapdoor there allowing access to the flag. The portal to Vivienne's left was slightly ajar and thus had been saved, only to have been forgotten and abandoned to dust.

The portal to the right was barred and locked. Vivienne had just bent to consider the lock when she heard men's voices behind her. She snuffed her candle and slipped into the protective shadows of the second chamber. The light of a lantern became visible on the walls of the staircase so quickly that she feared she might have been spied. Her nose tickled at the dust she had stirred and she fought the impulse to sneeze.

"The old tale has made me think about this chamber," Alexander said, as if explaining his ascent to another. His shadow was thrown on the wall as he approached and Vivienne eased back into the chamber behind her. "I cannot think why we do not use it."

"Perhaps because you have a houseful of maidens," Anthony suggested, clearly somewhat put-out to be called for this errand at this hour.

"It is but a tale! A mere whimsy," Alexander scoffed. He paused then, and sniffed audibly. "Do you smell a snuffed candle?"

Anthony sniffed dutifully while Vivienne fought the twitch of her nose. "It must have carried from the hall, for no one has climbed to these chambers in years."

"Hmm," Alexander said. Vivienne held her breath, certain he would fling open the door of the second chamber and reveal her there. "It must be as you say," he said and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"We should not even be here, my lord," Anthony said.

"And what harm is there?" Alexander demanded. "I would like to at least see the chamber beyond. Perhaps it would be a more cheerful place to study the ledgers."

"If you will forgive my forthright speech, my lord, I suspect you would spend more time watching the sea, were that distraction available."

Alexander laughed. "Perhaps it would not be all bad to have a distraction from these cursed ledgers. 'Item: one pound of butter, three pounds of leeks, two hens, one laying, all due to the laird at Michaelmas by Cornelius Smith for the share price upon his plot. Paid and witnessed. Item: two shillings owed by the ale master of Kinfairlie for selling short of the measure on the Feast of the Annunciation, not paid due to a lack of coin before midsummer.'" Vivienne heard the laughter in her brother's voice. "Truly, a man could lose his wits verifying the endless stream of such entries."

"And a man who did not take the time and trouble to do so might well see himself robbed blind," the castellan said stiffly. Vivienne could readily imagine him shaking a finger at Alexander as he scolded. "Your father spent every morning at the ledgers, my lord, and was known far and wide as a just man who could not be cheated."

Alexander heaved a sigh. "So you have told me a thousand times, Anthony. I fear you will never find me fitting my father's measure."

"I can but try, my lord."

Vivienne peeked and found the two men with their backs to her: Anthony held the lantern, which illuminated the disapproving line of his lips. He also carried several tools. Alexander bent and peered at the lock. He jingled a brass ring of keys and tried to fit one into the lock.

The castellan cleared his throat. "Do you think this wise, my lord?"

Alexander spared the older man a smile. "Are you not at least curious? This chamber has been locked for more than twenty years. As it is within my suzerainty, it is my right and my duty to explore it."

Anthony sighed.

Alexander tried each key in turn, so many of them not fitting that Vivienne began to lose hope. She felt cobwebs against her cheek and dared not wipe them away lest her movements make a noise. The dust seemed to roil around her and she surreptitiously rubbed her itching nose.

To her delight, the second to last key on Alexander's ring made the tumblers fall audibly.

"Ah!" Alexander stepped back and studied the beams of wood hammered across the portal. Vivienne peered through the slit between door and frame to watch him take a doughty tool from the castellan.

"We could have one of the men from the stable open it on the morrow, my lord. It would not be appropriate for you to injure yourself in such a task."

Alexander laughed. "I am not so old and feeble as that!" He pried the end of one beam away, then removed the others with speed. He cast the beams into the corner opposite the stairs, then grinned. In the light of the lantern, he looked mischievous and unpredictable, as once he had always looked. "What do you think we shall find inside, Anthony?"

The castellan's lips tightened impossibly further. "I could not begin to guess, my lord."

"Then we shall look." Alexander depressed the latch and pushed open the door. A cold wind immediately swirled around Vivienne's ankles and she shivered even as she peered into the darkness of the chamber beyond. The urge to sneeze grew even stronger and she fairly held her breath to vex it.

Alexander claimed the lantern and disappeared into the room, his footfalls loud on the floor.

"It is large!" he said, his voice echoing. "These windows are enormous. No wonder the cost of glass was so high. But the view is a marvel. Come and see!"

The castellan held his ground. "I shall wait until the morrow, my lord."

A chuckle resonated in Alexander's voice. "Surely you cannot be afraid? It is innocent maidens who are said to be in peril of the affections of fairy courtiers."

Anthony sniffed. "Of course, I am not afraid, my lord. I am simply cautious."

"There is nothing in here, save an old straw pallet. Do you think it is the one the girl slept upon?"

"I could not begin to speculate, my lord." Anthony drew himself taller. "Indeed, I would suggest that you not touch it, my lord, as it may be filled with vermin."

"Ha! They would be intrepid vermin who managed to climb to this chamber and subsist upon no food at all."

Anthony held his ground, clearly persuaded that such bold vermin did exist and in fact occupy that chamber.

"And which window, I wonder, is the one at root?" Alexander mused. "Not that there is likely any merit in the tale, of course. This is but a large disused chamber." He appeared on its threshold, beaming with pleasure. "We shall have it cleaned on the morrow. Perhaps I will ask my Uncle Tynan if the price of glass has become less than it was."

Anthony cleared his throat. "If I might remind you, my lord, the treasury of Kinfairlie is not as blessed with coin as it might be."

"It fares better now," Alexander said mysteriously. Vivienne saw only the flash of his smile before he looked back at the chamber. "Indeed, this will suit very well." Then he granted Anthony the confident smile which usually made the sisters suspect that he had a scheme. Before Vivienne could wonder at its cause, Alexander strode down the stairs, calling to the elderly castellan to hasten himself.

Vivienne was left alone, opposite the chamber that contained a portal to some other realm. Though she was sorely tempted to enter it immediately, instead she slipped down to the hall again. She complained to her sisters of a fierce chill and summoned a shiver most readily. She loosed her sneeze and her three sisters were quick to pronounce her in need of a hot posset.

[a-bucket-full-of-feels]

Musings after my first year in university

It’s kinda late and I should be sleeping but I have nothing to do so might as well write some stuff haha

So just like that, one year of university has passed, and I have two more years to go before I step into the working world at the tender age of 23 (assuming I finish my degree just like everyone else, which is most likely going to be the case haha). It was quite an experience, and I shall just talk about a few here.

Perhaps the most stark difference between university and any sort of education I have gone through so far is the level of independence it demands from you. Even all the way up to Junior College, practically anything important that you (and your parents) need to know is delivered to you nicely on a plate. Circulars, compulsory briefing sessions, stipulated curricula - as long as you attend school regularly, there’s no way you will be out of the loop. But in university, there’s none of that. The most you get is your daily barrage of emails about happenings and events around the campus and related to your school/faculty, and it’s up to your discretion to look through and figure out what’s important for you. You’re expected to find out and look up any important academic (or non-academic) information yourself, and there are basically no authority figures there to nag and remind you about it. Being a rather independent individual, that wasn’t much of an issue, but I still had to spend some time getting used to know where to get the important information I needed with regards to school matters, on top of many other issues (for example I did not know that exchange program applications were yearly instead of per semester until I talked to someone). And on that note, perhaps what I couldn’t adjust to the most was how the most trusted source of information was not from official sources, but through word-of-mouth. You could get certain information from the portals and email circulars, but it’s your seniors and peers who really tell you the things you need to know - which textbooks to buy, modules to take, little tips and tricks related to your courses and modules - the ‘life hacks’ that make your academic life a lot less troublesome. And to me, an introvert who really dislikes socialising, it’s tough when your social circles are small (ironically I know more people from other schools than people from the business school), and I’m still getting used to that.

The academic rigour is another issue. For one thing, you only have a little more than 3 months to master all the content in your modules before sitting for the final exam. Some modules are relatively easy so it’s no big deal. But you know, I am an accountancy student, and accountancy is a professional degree, so of course the accounting modules are Not Easy. The amount of content to digest and master is demanding, needless to say, and the fact that everything is bellcurved makes it worse. The polytechnic students who have prior accountancy knowledge and academically gifted people basically make it difficult to stay ahead of the bellcurve. It doesn’t help that my uni’s business school cohort is massive (greater than all the others combined), and our faculty’s students are notorious for being muggers. It’s basically easy to do alright, but extremely difficult to be outstanding. And of course, the substantial focus on projects and presentations is another big leap from Junior College, which heavily focuses on examinations alone. Being able to speak in front of a crowd naturally is something I’m still getting used to, and the group projects, man, I tell you. Being a first year student, campus housing is basically guaranteed so most people stay in school, which gives rise to discussions that could last till late at night. And also owing to the fact that most university students basically have messed up sleep schedules, even if you’re not having a physical meeting till late, you can still be discussing and doing projects online till the wee hours of the morning. Yes, it can be frustrating at times, especially for someone who prefers to work independently and efficiently (the complete antithesis of some of my group work experiences), but there’s somehow this strange sense of satisfaction and achievement after making through intense half-day sessions of doing nothing but the report/project together.

Academics aside, I think one thing different about university which I’m glad to embrace is how it gives me opportunities to challenge myself. With shorter, flexible school hours and the opportunity to stay on campus, I could afford to take part in activities in school that I enjoy. I kind of joined the university’s harmonica band on whim, almost intending to quit at first, but I stuck through and it strengthened my interest in the instrument, and I even learned how to play the bass (which I never really expected since I was always more passionate about the chromatic. But you know, detailed harmonica musings in another post). And to my surprise, I am actually becoming the vice-chairperson of the band for the next academic year. We are still in the process of handing over and everything is kind of preliminary, but the prospects are nonetheless exciting and I never once imagined that anyone (myself included) could entrust me with such a huge responsibility. On top of the band, I also joined another club which allowed me to dabble into and have a little taste of social entrepreneurship. Things were rocky at the start, but I’m currently in a project which is actually headed in a pretty promising direction, and me and the team would be delivering a pitch next Monday for this competition we’re in. I’m glad to have the opportunity to polish my presentation skills which are still pretty rough, and experience the rigour of working on a tangible business idea. Being in these clubs also gave me the opportunity to talk to people from different schools, which I feel is pretty refreshing because it’s a respite from the business school culture. One thing very different about university clubs is that joining one is a matter of your own interest, but students also are forced to join if they want to rack up enough points to stay in the halls the next year. This has its merits and downfalls - you get people who are really passionate about the club, and I’ve seen some of them in both clubs, but there are also the people who join initially and eventually drop out or continue half-heartedly, and it’s honestly a downer when you yourself are putting in your best effort for the club. Nonetheless, being in clubs is probably the best part of my university life so far and I am excited what the next academic year has to offer to me.

Finally, I’ll probably just talk a bit about some regrets and my hopes for the future. For one thing, I still feel like I’m still in my shell, not the bold, confident individual that I was hoping university was going to shape me to be. I’m aware that this is one of my greatest psychological barrier and “flaw” (for the lack of the better word, idk), and it’s extremely difficult to change your innate nature. But with two years of business school to go and the conscious choices I have made to put myself out there through my club appointments/activities, I hope that I would eventually do so. It’s a gradual process, but practice does make perfect. Another regret and what I’d hope for is in the area of having real friends around school. I’ve joined the school knowing close to no one, and the way your academic life basically resets every semester makes it difficult for me to get to know anyone personally, especially when I take a long time to warm up to people and the fact that almost everyone has their own social circles pre-formed when they go to university. Not knowing anyone on a very personal level, especially from the same school, can be tough (refer to first point), so I really hope I somehow manage to meet some like-minded individuals that I can connect on a personal level next semester. This may actually be tough, I’m painfully awkward and bad at connecting with people...

Well, that’s just a little bit of my thoughts about my first year in university. I’m hoping year two will be even better, and as for the rest of the long summer break...that I’ll actually get a job ugh

[stephaniefchase]

Bajan Newscap 4/18/217

Good Morning #realdreamchasers! Here is your daily news cap for Tuesday 18th 2017. Remember you can read full articles via Barbados Today (BT), or by purchasing a Daily Nation Newspaper (DN).

IMF SOON – Despite government’s public rejection of an International Monetary Fund (IMF) programme, a regional economist says one is bound to come sooner rather than later. Royal Bank of Canada’s (RBC) group economist Marla Dukharan made the prediction as she offered her outlook on the Barbados economy for 2017. Commenting in the most recent issue of Caribbean Strategic Research, published by Global News Matters, which is based in Houston, Texas, United States, Dukharan said that with a general election expected within the next 12 months, “things may not operate normally”. According to the Trinidadian economist: “In such situations, governments are typically less likely to exercise fiscal prudence and implement any major policy shifts that could possibly jeopardise their chances of staying in power.” (DN)

GOVERNMENT SHALL PREVAIL IN BNTCL AND HYATT CASES, SAYS SINCKLER - Minister of Finance Chris Sinckler is confident that Government will prevail against the legal challenge mounted by Rubis West Indies Limited to stop the sale of the state-owned Barbados National Terminal Company Limited (BNTCL) to regional petroleum giant Sol. And he has also brushed aside the legal challenge to the construction of the 15-storey Hyatt Hotel at Bay Street mounted by attorney–at-law David Comissiong, as baseless. Sinckler broke his silence on both matters today as he spoke to reporters while hosting an Easter Kite Flying competition at the Carlton cricket grounds for his St Michael North West constituency. Last month Rubis secured an interim injunction barring the proposed $US100 million sale, which it argued would create a monopoly. The company also filed an application in the High Court for Judicial Review of a decision to approve the inclusion of a 15-year moratorium clause in the Sale and Purchase Agreement between a Sol Subsidiary and the Barbados National Oil Company Limited (BNOCL). Sinckler told Barbados TODAY that he was satisfied that the deal was fully transparent and would pass the scrutiny of the court. “It is a court case which we will respond to. Obviously I can’t go into too much detail at this stage but I believe we have a clear, transparent and substantive case and I am confident that once both sides are heard, the Government’s side will prevail,” said Sinckler. The Finance Minister also maintains the Government is in a good position to defend the construction of the proposed Hyatt resort. Sinckler contended that the legal action taken by Comissiong was nothing more than “political posturing” and suggested that the court should not have a difficult time seeing the merits of the Government’s position. “We have another court injunction where Hyatt is concerned but again I believe that once both sides are heard, that would be dispensed with as it ought to be. “I believe that this is purely a political exercise and anybody could see where that is going but we would let the court deal with it,” Sinckler said. (BT)

“D” OPTIONS – Minister of Finance Chris Sinckler is mostly unfazed by recent legal efforts to block two big projects Government was banking on to boost the country’s dangerously low level of foreign reserves. A new 15-storey Hyatt Hotel was in the works for Bay Street, The City, but has been put on hold by way of a High Court injunction granted to political activist David Comissiong who wants to stop the project. Meanwhile, Rubis Caribbean, which failed in its competitive bid to buy the Barbados National Terminal Co Ltd (BNTCL) from the Barbados National Oil Company, has challenged the proposed US$100 million sale to the Sol Group. It too was granted a temporary injunction by the court. It was hoped both transactions would have bolstered Barbados’ flagging foreign reserves, which last February were estimated at ten weeks of import cover. (DN)

INNISS: BRAIN DRAIN NO BIG BOTHER – One government Minister is not unduly concerned about the brain drain affecting Barbados. Instead, said Minister of Industry, Commerce, International Business and Small Business Development Donville Inniss, the focus should be placed on expanding opportunities for Barbadians in Barbados. The St James South MP was speaking to the DAILY NATION yesterday as he hosted his eighth annual Easter family kiting day at Wanstead Ridge Park, St James. “A Barbadian, wherever he or she is in the world, is an asset to Barbados,” he said, adding he did not think there was a need to panic about the situation. (DN)

SINCKLER UPBEAT ABOUT NEW BLOOD- The Democratic Labour Party (DLP) will be retaking the constituencies of St Michael East, St Michael South East and The City. This is the promise of Member of Parliament for St Michael North West, Chris Sinckler, who said he had full confidence in his party’s newest candidates, Nicholas Alleyne, Rodney Grant and Henderson Williams to bring back those constituencies to the DLP fold. During the last elections, former deputy speaker Kenny Best was defeated by Trevor Prescod in St Michael East; Patrick Tannis narrowly lost to Santia Bradshaw in St Michael South East, and Patrick Todd was beaten in The City by Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Bostic. All three were recently replaced as DLP candidates. (DN)

LASHLEY PRAISES DLP PICKS – Former parliamentary representative for St Michael South East, Hamilton Lashley, is throwing his full support behind three new candidates selected by the Democratic Labour Party (DLP) to contest the next general elections. The DLP last week released the names of the candidates in Henderson Williams for The City, replacing Patrick Todd; Rodney Grant for St Michael South East, in for Patrick Tannis, and Nicholas Alleyne in St Michael East, pushing out Kenny Best. Best and Todd served just one term in the House Assembly after winning their respective seats in the 2008 general election. Tannis was narrowly defeated by 12 votes by the Barbados Labour Party’s (BLP) Santia Bradshaw in the last general election. (DN)

COST CONTROL IS A REAL PROBLEM – Hospitality companies in Barbados and the Caribbean might be paying the price for having inadequate purchasing and cost control practices. Caribbean hospitality consultant Lisa Beckles, of Lisa Beckles Consulting, feared that at a time when regional economies were struggling, corporate profitability was being hurt by the failure to manage costs and procure properly. Beckles, who developed an Introduction To Purchasing & Cost Control training programme, is holding it here at Dover Beach Hotel from April 25 to 27. Beckles, who is from Trinidad and Tobago, and has held her training programme here before, as well as in her homeland, Grenada, Dominica, and St Lucia, said proper purchasing and cost control “is particularly important in Barbados and other Caribbean countries in these economic times because our businesses are faced with increased competition, not only locally and regionally but also from the impact of globalisation, and reduced disposable income in some former markets.” The three-day training programme will cover six modules – The Right Supplier . . . my perfect fit; Controlling; Basic Income Statements; Recipe Costing; Labour Cost Control; and Cost Reduction Strategies. Beckles said in previous editions of the training programme several concerns emerged while interacting with participants. “Some suppliers also are not as educated about the required standards and certifications as they should be and this impacts on the establishment of purchase specifications. In all the islands I have done this programme, there have been complaints about the lack of consistency in the availability of some items. The matter of duties applied on items imported has also been raised in most of these islands.” Beckles added: “I have been also concerned by the prevalence of businesses having the same person responsible for purchasing and receiving of items. This is not desirable and participants understand why very clearly after our programme. “I have noted that even in some four star properties and very fine restaurants in these islands, even basic standards such as purchase specifications and standardised recipes are not present or are improperly done. The result is that items being sold are not properly costed and cost and profit targets may not be met.” DN)

SURETIES BEWARE - Be careful for whom you sign bail. This was the advice of some attorneys in light of the case of a woman who signed bail for a Guyanese national and is now facing possible forfeiture of $175 000. “Standing bail is a serious obligation . . . . The reason you know it is serious is because you know you are asked to put your worth, your assets, on the line. Any Barbadian who says to the court I am prepared to put $175 000 of my personal assets to buttress me being a surety for this individual, they do it with their eyes open,” former attorney general Dale Marshall told the DAILY NATION. Accused Davanand Outar was jointly charged with four others with possession and trafficking of 42.2 kilogrammes of cocaine on March 31, 2011. (DN)

NO ANSWERS YET ON CAUSE OF FIRE – There is still mystery surrounding the death of Cedric McCarthy. The 56-year-old, of Clarke Road, Free Hill, Black Rock, St Michael, died when his home was engulfed in flames on Sunday. McCarthy, an epileptic, had two daughters and an estranged wife, Nadine McCarthy, who lived separately but nearby in a family home. Nadine told the DAILY NATION yesterday she was still in the dark over what happened. (DN)

PHOTO OF ‘MOCK IED’ CONFISCATED AT TORONTO PEARSON AIRPORT RELEASED – U.S. Customs and Border Protection released a photograph of a mocked improvised explosive device found inside a piece of luggage at Toronto Pearson International Airport, which forced the grounding of a Chicago-bound United Airlines flight for several hours earlier this month. Joseph Galaska, 58, was charged with one count of mischief after border officers located the mock IED in the pre-clearance area of the airport. United Airlines flight 547, which was scheduled to depart April 6 at 7 a.m. and arrive at Chicago O’Hare airport at 10 a.m. ET, had its pre-clearance privileges revoked due to the security breach. Passengers who spent nearly four hours on the tarmac had their plane taxied to an isolation area, where they were eventually searched by American and Canadian border authorities before being released. Galaska’s wife, Maria Silva, told an ABC News affiliate in Wisconsin that the device was just an alarm clock and that her husband was returning from a trip to Brazil when he was arrested at the airport. “He loves this kind of souvenir,” Silva said. “He used to be a tool-and-die maker. He brought one back for his friends before and had no problem.” Galaska, who resides in Cudahy, Wisconsin, was released on $5,000 bail with conditions not to possess weapons or explosives. He returned to the United States last week and is scheduled to be back in court on April 24. (BT)

GUINESS GLORY FOR FLEURETTE – Fascinating filly Fleurette defeated 11 other juveniles in the 67th Barbados Guineas over 1 570 metres, all seeking glory in the first Jewel of the Barbados Triple Crown yesterday at the Garrison Savannah. Owned by Luther G. Miller III and his wife, Suzanne, Fleurette, under a confident ride by Rickey Walcott on good to firm going, was able to repel a determined and resolute effort by last time out winner in Oberoi. This win once again put champion trainer Victor Cheeseman on the Triple Crown quest with the Midsummer Classic and the Derby around the corner. Walcott, who won a brace on the card, sent Fleurette immediately to the lead and was surprisingly never challenged for the first half-mile. (DN)

CARIFTA GOLD- Jonathan Jones won Barbados’ third gold medal at the 46th Flow CARIFTA games in the Under-20 Boys 800m.Barbados captured gold in the Under-18 Boys 4x400m relay at the 46th CARIFTA games. The winning team – Nathan Fergusson, Kyle Gale, Antoni Hoyte- Small and Rasheem Griffith who anchored his country to victory celebrated with Minister of Sports Stephen Lashley. (BT)

NO MORE UNDER 18 - It will be back to the original Under-17 and Under-20 age groups when the CARIFTA Games are held in The Bahamas next year.  This follows a successful resolution proposed by Barbados that was agreed to by 22 of the delegates during yesterday’s CARIFTA Congress at the Hilton Hotel. NATIONSPORT has been reliably informed that none of the delegates voted against the motion, but there were two abstentions. For the past four years, the region’s youngest athletes had been competing in a new Under-18 division, which was created in 2013. (DN)

UNITED CHANGES POLICY, CREW CAN'T DISPLACE SEATED PASSENGERS – United Airlines will no longer allow crewmembers to take the seats of passengers who have already boarded a plane. The change in policy comes amid a firestorm of controversy that has enveloped the company following the now-infamous United Express flight from April 9. It was on that flight that United “bumped” four passengers from the sold-out aircraft to make room for crewmembers needed at the next destination to operate a different flight. But passenger Dr. David Dao, who had already boarded, refused to give up his seat and was eventually dragged off the plane by Chicago airport security personnel. Cellphone video of the incident, which showed a bloodied Dao being dragged off the plane, has since gone viral and has led to a global public relations crisis for United. Now, The Associated Press says an internal United Airlines e-mail from April 14 details a policy change. Those so-called “must-ride” bookings for crewmembers must be made at least 60 minutes prior to a flight’s departure. Prior to the change, must-ride crews could be booked onto a flight right up to departure. United spokeswoman Maggie Schmerin tells the news agency the change is one of the first tangible steps United is making as it reviews its policies after the April 9 incident. The change is being made to ensure that situations like Dao's never happen again, Schmerin adds. Already, United CEO Oscar Munoz has pledged on national TV that the company will no longer call in security officers to remove fliers from overbooked flights. "This will never happen again," Munoz said during an April 12 interview with the ABC News’ Good Morning America. "We are not going to put a law enforcement official onto a plane to take them off … to remove a booked, paid, seated passenger; we can’t do that." United also has said it will give all customers onboard the April 9 United Express flight “compensation for the cost of their tickets.” (USA TODAY)

ST JAMES SOUTH KEEPS TRADITION ALIVE – Scores of families in the St James South constituency converged on the Wanstead Ridge Park today Easter Monday as they joined in the eighth annual kite flying family fun day, hosted by Member of Parliament for the area Donville Inniss. The opportunity, which provided for children to learn the art of kite making and engage in the festive pastime of flying them, coincided with similar events across the island. Inniss, who was present with his youngest son, told Barbados TODAY while he was pleased with the turnout, he was still not satisfied that children were engaged in the yearly tradition as much as he would have liked. “You would be surprised that there are some people in their 20s that never made a kite and have never flown a kite,” said Inniss, who had earlier flown a kite that later ended up in a nearby tree. Recalling his kite flying days as a teenager, Inniss said the pastime in the St James South constituency was also intended o gett more families to come out and utilize the park.  (BT)

ST. JOSEPH NEEDS DEVELOPMENT – Pastor Carlos Brathwaite of Dunamis Outreach Ministries has lamented what he calls the lack of development in the parish of St Joseph. He told members of the media, following the launch of New Life in Christ Ministry at the St Bernard’s Primary School,  that the rural parish needs social and infrastructural development to reach its fullest potential. “It is a community or parish that really needs to have greater development of its human resources and human capital. The people are, in my view, longing for someone to show them that they really care,” said Brathwaite. The Wesleyan Holiness Pastor said he is anxiously awaiting the reopening of the Andrew’s Sugar Factory as he believes this will help in addressing the unemployment situation in the rural communities. While recognizing the efforts made by Member of Parliament Dale Marshall, Brathwaite said that more resources need to be allocated to social development and road infrastructure. Brathwaite said the church’s role in St Joseph is to help the community. “The church brings a spiritual dimension to the community, it’s not here to take from but rather to help in the community outreach and focus on the community. As a new church in this community, I believe with the help of God we can begin to be a catalyst for the issues raised,” he added. (BT)

Visitors enjoy Easter in Barbados - Guests at the Crystal Cove Hotel in St James were treated to a burst of local culture as they joined in the finale of the Easter celebrations there. As scores of visitors took part in a buffet of scrumptious Bajan delicacies, they were treated to a variety of dance performances and songs. There were also vendors with a display of local craft and jewellery. General Manager Sophia Babb said the celebration, which started on Thursday under the theme Celebrating Life and Our Cultural Heritage, was a critical aspect of the tourism offering. “We like to have events for every season because we think it is important for guests to experience what we do on the island as well as at the hotel to make it interesting,” she said. “We have a high repeat customer [base], so every year they like to come back to the festivities and enjoyment and have interaction with our staff. So we enjoy putting on these celebrations for our guests,” said Babb, who pointed out that for this month the hotel was averaging a 70 per cent occupancy level. The children were not to be left out of the weekend of celebrations. Kids Club Manager Stephanie Mayers said the little ones had the opportunity to learn how Barbadian children celebrated the holiday season. “They had puppetry. . . we also had kite making. A kite making workshop was put on for them,” she said. The children were also treated to a petting zoo, an egg hunt and Crystal Cove fugitive hunt. (BT)

OISTINS GOSPEL EVENT ON SONG – It was all praise to God in song and dance at the Kentucky Fried Chicken Gospel Spectacular on Sunday night, part of the 2017 Oistins Fish Festival. Most of the performers at the Oistins Bay Gardens event were drawn from areas in Christ Church, including the Oistins Church Of Christ Chorale who got things off to a rousing start. Their numbers, which included I Lift My Hands To The Coming King and You Deserve It, were well received by the large crowd, which included Member of Parliament for the area John Boyce, and Minister of Social Care Steve Blackett. The Sunshine Dancers, made up of children from several primary schools, lit up the atmosphere with their enthusiasm and movements. Another Nature, a dance group of young people, also thrilled the gathering with their energetic moves. Some brave and talented pupils from Bay Primary School also gave a good showing, with a medley of songs such as Jesus I Believe In You, We Want To Say Thank You and We Are A Chosen Generation, in which the crowd could not help but sing along. One of their school-mates, Jenina Neverson, had earlier done justice to the popular song God On The Mountain. Other well-received performances included a trio from St Luke’s/Brighton Primary on the recorder, the Christian Holiness Church’s Gates Of Praise, gospel icon Sister Marshall and Jewel Austin. (DN)

BIG TURN OUT FOR OISTINS TREAT– FISH, FUN AND FESTIVITIES were on the minds of the thousands who attended the final day of the Flow Oistins Fish Festival yesterday. With vehicles out of the picture, pedestrians walked the streets freely as clowns on unicycles entertained the children while showing off their skills. Except for a few brief showers, clear skies and sunshine dominated the festivities. Music blared from several stalls and some vendors used the sidewalks to sell their snacks, craft and aquarium fish. The final day of the festival was also the 40th anniversary of the event, which began at 6 a.m. with The City of Bridgetown Cooperative Credit Union Ltd’s Plus 10K Road Race And Walking Race in Independence Square, The City, that ended in the Christ Church town. (DN)

That’s all for today folks. There are 257 days left in the year Shalom! #thechasefiles #dailynewscaps Follow us on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram for your daily news. #bajannewscaps #newscapsbystephaniefchase