#not in the mood for analysis right now
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Stuff I noticed in the new video:
Patty Hall was sent to where Kissy Missy is found
The tunnel message reads “The Hour Of Joy Is At Hand”
Below are all the time stamps
#not in the mood for analysis right now#so here’s this I suppose#poppy playtime#huggy wuggy#poppy playtime horror game#poppy playtime huggy#poppy playtime chapter 2#poppy playtime poppy#poppy playtime kissy missy#kissy missy#Poppy playtime chapter 3#project playtime#poppy playtime theory
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The bsd fandom is so weird and ridiculous yet so sad and angsty at the same time and i love it, at first we just being mad at bones for ruining the skkk chapter 88 scene to chapter 109 is out and chaos ensure
I was done doing my reaction for chapter 109 and I see some post like "NONONONONONO DAZAI IS NOT DEAD HE STILL ALIVE" and being speechless about what happening , theory and analysis,people thinking about another scenario where there are just being lovely dovey happily ever after, bsd fandom going from "BONES I HATE YOU WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" to " WTFFFF IS GOING ON", people being slapped in the face thrice tenfold hundred fold??? for being in the good omens fandom, jujutsu kaisen fandom then bsd fandom (I hope there are a meme about you should never ask what happen to August 3rd,2023 for people in those fandom or people who all in the three fandom), people just doing fanart, people seeing last panel (I mean the three sokouku generation panel) or any panel they like and think "wow homo", it being trending because of chap 109, and dazai stan threatening the author because of what happen ( which is not very nice and i know this because of a post i see while scrolling through bsd tag, dazai tag count too i guess), etc
We really need someone to make a history book about the bsd fandom cause we do so many questioning stuff like cursed name on tiktok (i mostly see them on tiktok and i didn't see them anywhere else though), bsd characters x random object, mpreg, the bsd x tr fandom thing ( I was trying to hold my laughter while thinking about that), then we have bones ruining chapter 88 to the chaos of chapter 109 and many more i think but I don't remember that much
This fandom is like a mood swing and I love it so much
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd chapter 109#bsd 109#bsd fandom#this fandom is the definition of mood swing#i was crackling when i was going through bungou stray dogs tag#it was so fun#we were trending because and exploding because of chapter 109#now we though chap 101 and chap 88 was bad#maybe we should just switch the skk iconic scene in cha 101 to 109#dazai stan gonna be livid#i feel sorry for the people who are in good omens jjk and bsd fandom#they were going through so much right now#we need someone to make a book or a fic about bsd fandom history#we were so delulu#i hope there were more bsd theory and analysis#especially about atsushi#i love him#there something about atsushi ok is just there are so many holes in atsushi backstory#and so many question about why he related to the book and other stuff like that#i want more bsd theory and analysis#i really like bsd theory and analysis ok#ignore how there were some missing letter of the word i mean in the tag and was trying to hold my giggle#just a post
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Hey everyone, a heads up (about me): I've been having trouble with sleep these past days for reasons that are outside my control, and I don't foresee the situation changing soon. The lack of sleep is worsening my mood: I have less energy and I'm a tad more irritable (and I don't like that). All of this is to say I won't be that online for a while here. Y'all are awesome. Take care.
^ random ass gif to finish the post with
#I've found that checking social media while in a bad mood isn't good for my mental health so I'm not. doing that.#and by situation i mean a shit ton fuck of noise during my sleep hours which i can't do anything about#I'm not abandoning the hourly eternal diva analysis i just not have the energy for it at the moment#i will disconnect a bit or try to at least#personal post#right now my inner dialogue is telling me no one cares (see what i mean?) so I'll put this post on queue and forget about it
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I know this is very sudden, but allow me to rant about Sonic 06-
*the crowd boos*
LISTEN! It's not about the game itself, that is a story for another post. I specifically want to talk about Princess Elise-
*the crowd boos harder*
Hear me out: Elise had so much potential to be such a fascinating character. It's all right there. So I'm talking about it. Buckle up, I'm putting this girl in a blender 17 years after her game died.
The absurd missed potential of Elise really boils down to her role in the story as a damsel in distress and how heavily the game imposes that role on her, even when it's unnecessary/uninteresting. Point in case, she gets kidnapped and rescued four different times. In one game. But why? What purpose does this serve?
I believe Elise's repeated kidnapping is but a cheap narrative escape. They don't know how to make Sonic and Elise bond, so they repeat the act of him saving her over and over again to drive in the fact that he's a hero and she's... I don't know, she's just a princess.
Just a princess. That traps her into the tiny box that is the stereotypical damsel in distress, and a macguffing for the whole Iblis thing, at most. But that doesn't really suit her background at all, does it? All of the stuff that's given to us tells us that Elise should be more than that.
Ok so, the story goes out of its way to tell us that, for 10 whole years, Elise was not allowed to cry. Not a single tear. That's her main thing, that she has a warped sense of duty and doesn't get to feel much. But did she even know why? The way the story shows it, it doesn't seem like she does, at least not entirely; she was passed out cold when the whole "let's infuse half of a god into your soul" stuff happened. So in a way, this behaviour could be treated as trauma instilled on her by her father drilling the idea of "a strong queen doesn't cry, stop crying, just smile" into her head — we do see a flashback of him directly saying that to her when she was little and crying on his lap. And this would have been a fine point of her character arc, if only they had concluded it in a more... well, conclusive way. By showing her and the audience that the duke was wrong; crying is healthy and not a display of weakness, and her father's "crying is wrong" speech is bullshit. Or even just by having her realise that not crying at all has a negative impact on her health, because it should.
But if we assume that Elise did know why she couldn't cry, the story gets more interesting. Because it's not as if she held back tears for 10 years — a near-impossible feat for a normal human being — just for her pride or because she believed in those toxic words of the past, but because she needed to. There's a fucking monster inside of her and this CHILD is tasked with keeping it locked away all on her own. If she cries, the whole world will end. So she sees a purpose in being emotionally distant: if she closes herself off to all emotions and reactions, she will suppress her need to cry. If she doesn't allow herself to feel anything, she will be able to keep the world safe.
But like, if she ever breaks a leg, she's not allowed to cry, because she doesn't want one stupid broken leg to cause the end of the world. She swallows the pain in silence.
She lost her father, who apparently was her only parental figure, at a young age and was left alone to learn how to tend to the kingdom. She had to attend her own father's funeral, knowing that she had potentially contributed to his death by being in the lab that day. And she was not allowed to have a little cry about it.
That's a lot of pressure, but it's not like she can complain, so she just has to deal with it as best as she can. Which in the game is shown by having Elise be a bit... bland, I guess? At times, I don't know if her weird way of responding to things was intentional or if it was just bad writing.
Either way, I feel like a better way for that to reflect on her character would be to make her stoic, cold and impassive when interacting with others. For her to be unresponsive to Sonic's jokes and Eggman's threats at the start of the game. As the story progresses, she gets to mature emotionally and realise how fucked up she is and how all of these bottled feelings are killing her inside.
Sonic bonds with Elise by providing opportunities and encouragement for her to feel things and express herself. He can see that she cares a lot about things, but it's buried deep down; he sees that beneath all the fear and responsibility she imposes on herself, there's a girl who cherishes her kingdom and loves the people around her fiercely.
But how to bring her out of her shell?
Instead of bringing Elise back to her castle only for her to be kidnapped again — Eggman does have robots all over the kingdom looking for her, — Sonic decides to bring her along for the adventure. After all, she should want to defeat Eggman and the threat he poses to Soleanna. With that, Elise can have more time to bond with other characters without having her whole personality sacrificed to a trope that does not server her or the story.
And the thing is, at first, she doesn't really believe in herself. She only sees herself as the vessel of Iblis, she doesn't know how to fight or run fast or anything like that. But Sonic pulls her along anyway, because she's determined and, believe it or not, she does have power.
And she laughs. She screams, she gasps, she gets a hug. Because if there is something Sonic knows very well, is that the world is beautiful and everyone should get to live life to the fullest.
Now please picture me this: Elise has a hidden feisty personality. As the story progresses and she slowly opens up, she starts showing a tiny little bit of a sarcastic side. She learns that she's an absolute sucker for adventure and speed and daring situations, a real thrill seeker. She starts somewhat confronting Eggman when he kidnaps her — listen, I'm not saying she shouldn't be kidnapped at all, it kind of ruins the fun of it if there are no stakes, but four times is a bit much — and expressing all her pent up anger.
Picture me an Elise who is so done with this shit while also being glad to blow some stuff up. She has that soft side of love and care but also fuck Eggman.
It's during this whole adventure that she gets to meet the cast. And holy shit.
The potential that the Elise & Blaze duo had, man. Elise has a FIRE monster inside of her, it would make so much sense for Iblis to manifest through FIRE powers. And you know who else has fire powers? You know who else is a princess? Who else started her journey as an emotionally stunted stranger who learns to open up thanks to Sonic & co.?
Blaze the Cat
YES, CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? WHY THE HELL DID THESE TWO NOT INTERACT AT ALL???
It being the "Flames of Disaster", Elise can only see Iblis as a source of devastation and pain. She's scared of ever tapping into that side of herself, for her responsibility is just to lock it away and never look at it. But she can't escape it. And it would have been beautiful for Blaze to teach her how to come to terms with it and harness her fire for warmth, light and protection instead of destruction — but also destruction, because you know, sometimes blowing stuff up is fun.
That would grant character development not only for Elise, but also for Blaze, who gets to see a form of Iblis she never imagined before. Iblis is a world-destroying monster, she can't control or defeat it even if she has a connection to it through the flames; but maybe that's not their job to do. They shouldn't be wasting their time running around trying to kill some hedgehog, they should be protecting Elise from being used by Eggman! — Because surely that's what caused the end of the world, right? Eggman being too greedy and freeing a beast he couldn't control? Seems like a logical conclusion by all Blaze knows.
And Elise meeting Silver. Oh my fucking god.
She remembers him. That is literally the first thing she sees when she meets Sonic! She remembers Silver from when she was a child, she remembers he saved her. He was the one who even remotely tried to comfort her when her father died and the one who witnessed the might of what's inside of her. If anything, she must have spent years wondering if she just imagined him or not, this must be such a surreal encounter!
(It was either that or she actually saw the destroyed future and Silver via Iblis or something, I'm not really sure what that first scene was supposed to be. But I'm going with the "she remembers him" path)
At first, Silver doesn't know her, of course; he's only here for Sonic! But when he travels back to the Solaris Project incident, everything changes. And as much as Silver wants to be bitter about how simple the origins of their problems were — how all of it could have been avoided if only those scientists weren't so greedy, if only they had been able to destroy the base form of Iblis before it became a monster, if only the responsibility of keeping it at bay hadn't been put on a little girl, if only she had been able to keep it trapped forever, if only, if only, if only — he can't find it in himself to be anything but compassionate towards Elise. The two of them are very alike, in a way: burdened with the weight of the world, a responsibility they never asked for, but unable to give it to anybody else or give up because they care too much.
So that's the irony of Silver's story: he came to the past with the intent of ending a life, when this whole time he was supposed to save a life. Not just to save his future, but because Elise, like him, was robbed of many things, and it's not fair. He wants to go back to his time knowing Elise would live to see a safe and happy future for herself for as long as she lived. If he couldn't save the future, then at least he can change the past and delay the inevitable, give this world a little more time.
Oh and that's not even to mention Mephiles. He himself is a wonderful villain, but the fact that he never interacted with Elise is such a shame.
Think of the direct influence Mephiles could have on Elise as the other half of Solaris. The ways in which he could have tried to deceive her. Yeah, he wants to drag this out and see everyone suffer for as long as possible, but he has a damn queen in his board, why should he only play with the pawns?
It could have helped push the story just a little further by having him communicate with Elise in any way, shape or form. Replace Eggman kidnapping her 137 times with Mephiles luring Elise and using her bottled up feelings against her. Let her be Solaris' unwilling ticking time bomb.
And of course, I couldn't leave this without talking about the big issue everyone has with Elise. The fact that most people only ever remember her as that random human girl who kissed Sonic that one time. Not only was that whole romance uncalled for, but I feel like the story could have benefited a lot more from their platonic feelings. Hell, let Elise be her own damn character. Let Sonic have a positive influence on her without breaking everything else. Let them remain as friends at the end of the story without resetting everything — and really, just let her know that, even if Sonic leaves Soleanna tomorrow, she'll be ok; she's more than ok now, actually.
TLDR; Princess Elise from Sonic 2006 could have been such a cool character with complex emotions, the fact that her legacy is what it is is really sad to me.
#make Elise set fire to things actually I think that would be fun. give this girl some whimsy in her life#*deflates*#it's been a while since I've last had a good rant about Sonic the Hedgehog#just finished the second season of Sonic Prime. Saw the last update of Sonic P-06 a few days ago too so I was in the mood today#Sonic 06 brings me so much nostalgia#Sonic Frontiers actually reminds me of it a little bit#In a good way#I'm glad with the direction the franchise is going on right now. RIP to 2006 tho#Sonic the Hedgehog#Princess Elise#Sonic 06#character analysis#(kind of? very loosely)#TEV Talk
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Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this
#speculation nation#daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days...#im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard#im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn.#what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles#and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response#im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day#but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned#and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat.#im just... tired. im so very tired.#i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to#constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing)#and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed#if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work#at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think#get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes.#i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding#i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic#but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month.#losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though.#negative/
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please don't mind me, I'm going to pull a Dazai and be embarassing as hell.
@bunglegaydogs this is for you 🎸😘
okay so basically
tumblr has a history of erasing tags and getting errors when they're too long so i screenshotted just in case.
And guess what. that's exactly what happened. (+1 to my Dazai points)
for the last one, i want to add that i think u prob did it to make me feel better cause legit the random posts with 0 notes that were just meant for venting suddenly got liked by you. and one time i remember you spam liked a LOT of my posts like??????
that or maybe you could relate to them IDK.
whichever it is, i appreciate it dude 🤘💕
guess who made one of those ask game things :] yknow cause why not
you know the drill
#also sorry if im hyper like SISJSJ#i also have a tendency to flirt platonically w ppl i know so dont take it too seriously pls i beg hahaha#MWA#LY DUDE MWA#moots appreciation#bungle gay dogs appreciation#wonder what's the backstory for 'bungle' 🤔#i forgot what i was going to say#uhm yeah have a good day/night and rooting 4 u ig#go slay that college#🤘🤘#oh right i almost forgot#if ur wondering back then i was a big odasaku fan LOL (he's still my blorbo rn)#so ur 1000 word long analysis of oda and dazai's friendship attracted me like blood to sharks 🦈#that and the other analysis ('oda and atsushi care for dazai') also rlly attracted me.#i also like how everythings kinda random somtimes - like the genre/types of posts vary depending on ur mood - like almost all of us lol#tumblr my beloved platform#okay i think im done now ty bye
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I found a song that vibes with Halcyon REAAALLY WELL but it also got me going like:
Cuz another plausible meaning to the song translates to something else and I'm thinking reaally reeeeaaaally hard if it fits for Halcyon if I change something bout him that ends up matching the other plausible meaning to the song. I'm thinking very hard bout it, I can feel my brain gears whirring.
#aria rants#the song is uminaoshi by maretu but im listening to a cover by chogakusei (ive been in a chogakusei mood lately)#and like-- its a song meant to tie in with another maretu song that i havent listened to yet (coin locker lady i think is the title?)#but at the same time-- the other plausible meaning to the song that clicked in my head first before reading others' analysis of it is that#its a song bout a girl wanting to be a boy so like-- it clicked as a trans song first for me and i was alrdy associating the song#with halcyon before that so now im like: wait a second... wai... wait a second... AND LIKE! IT DOES MAKE SENSE! SO MUCH!#FOR HALCYON TO BE TRANS! but at the same time im also thinking very very hard how to integrate that in the story#like right now currently hal has a man's body and i can easily spin that in connection to the advance equipment he has#but at the same time im thinking bout the When. Where. and Why. so im thinking veeeeerry hard bout ways to add that to him now
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Me looking at the 300+ of y’all who have seen this
where the flip did y’all come from?
“WELL WHO CARES?! These are mah people!”
But seriously y’all, part 2
I love this movie so much that I kidnapped my parents (both of which regularly make fun of and are often dissatisfied with my choices of animated media) and sat their little butts down and forced them to watched it.
I’m happy to report that my mom cried and my dad said it was cute.
If you needed another sign to watch this movie
🛑⚠️👉🏼 THIS IS IT👈🏼⚠️🛑
Please take this humble homemade meme of my nephew representing my love for this movie
The Wild Robot
My Response After Watching it
Y’all. I believe in humanity again if THAT is what people can create. What a story. WHAT. A. Story.
Please. Please. PLEASE. Take the time to watch it. It is BEYOND worth it.
#the wild robot#just being jayus#serendipity247#serendipitouslyjayus#This is so good that I will buy a hoodie#Y’all don’t understand#I stimmed so hard at the movie theater I was shaking my seat#I skipped the entire way back to my car#faith in humanity restored#wild robot#The story was delectable#The art was scrumptious#The humor high brow#The message heartwarming and forever life changing#I am so very very happy right now#It’s a good day to be alive yall#Pedro Pascal is still a serious mood#My most favorite found family story of ALL time#if anybody makes fanart of this show PLEASE tag me. I wanna see it#I still plan on watching this over and over and over and over and over and over and over again#if anybody wants to dissect this movie with me#feel free to hmu#i adore movie analysis and I have some thunks cooking#Again never underestimate the power of one good person#kindness truly is the gift that keeps giving#Can someone become deliriously happy because they feel THAT seen in a movie?#Just thinking about it with the dopiest grin on my face like ever#It hurts I’m smiling so much
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I want to read a SVSSS where Mobei Jun suddenly portals into a peak lord meeting, grabs Shang Qinghua with a growl "bedroom, now" and then the two disappears. All in all, Mobei Jun was in that room for less than 5 seconds.
Cang Qiong is shocked and appalled that a demon - a very powerful demon - had the gall to somehow break into Cang Qiong and kidnap a peak lord in front of their eyes. Worse yet, they didn't react in time and Liu Qingge wasn't at this meeting.
Mu Qingfang's analysis made the mood even worse: "the demon was clearly under the influence of aphrodisiac."
And then Shen Qingqiu's hiss of vindication solidified the horror and anger. "I told you he was a spy! Worse yet, he's married to a demon or about to get married into one because that looked like Shang Qinghua being a little too used to bride-napping!"
---
Meanwhile Shang Qinghua has no clue what's going on or why his king decided to break his spy cover like that. He's more like mildly terrified as he's getting pulled under the covers of a bed and told to take a nap. His little freak out becomes the world's biggest freakout when Mobei Jun climbs into bed right afterwards like holycrapwhatisgoingonisthisgoingtoendin-
---
(Mobei Jun is sick and tired of having a long distance relationship with his husband and his husband needs some more rest, so enough was enough. He decided to force his husband into a vacation.)
---
Somehow Shang Qinghua is the last Cang Qiong peak lord to find out that he's married to a demon.
#svsss ideas#svsss#svsss au#mxtx#scum villain's self saving system#shang qinghua#mobei jun#Somehow Shang Qinghua is the last Cang Qiong peak lord to find out that he's married to a demon AU
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𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐢𝐧'𝐭 𝐍𝐨 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 ♡
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐈'𝐦 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮
Spencer Reid x f!reader || Series masterlist || Series playlist
Main masterlist || can also be read on ao3 || Next chapter
summary: After having worked for the BAU for two years, you have seen and experienced a lot, but after a series of murders of young married couples, you’re asked to do something that you never had thought you would have to do; going undercover, as an expecting, married couple, with Spencer Reid.
word count: 5.8k
warnings/tags: Eventual smut! (18+, mdni!) Undercover as a married couple. Pretend pregnancy. Language. Drinking. Angst and fluff. Slow burn. Mutual pining. Coworkers to lovers. Not set at a specific time, but definitely somewhere in the early seasons. Reader uses she/her pronouns. Mention of canon-typical violence.
The table is a bit sticky, and the music could be better, but the drinks are decent and you’re just so happy to finally be out with your friends after what feels like forever. Your job is demanding, and being an FBI agent in the Behavioral Analysis Unit means that your work-life balance is almost non-existent. But tonight, you don’t want to think about the gruesome crime scenes or the long hours spent profiling and investigating violent crimes, all you want to do is have a good time and catch up with your friends. And finally having an occasion to dress up and feel cute isn’t bad either.
Closing your glossed lips around the straw of your Strawberry Daiquiri, you take a long sip and let the sweet, icy drink cool your throat as you sit back in your chair, listening to the lively chatter of your friends. Michaela and Piper are going back and forth about some new movie that you haven’t had the time to watch yet, and you and Janelle, who is sitting across from you, are laughing at their antics as you listen to their debate with half an ear, but you focus shifts as Janelle gently nudge your shin under the table.
“That guy is totally checking you out,” Janelle says with a playful raise of her eyebrow, gesturing towards the bar with her eyes, as she takes a sip of her Mai Tai, while Michaela and Piper continue their discussion about whether the final plot twist of the movie was too predictable or an actual genius twist.
You can’t help but let out a tired giggle and roll your eyes as you follow Janelle’s gaze, glancing over to the bar and catch the eye of a man who is indeed looking in your direction, but you quickly turn back towards your friend again. “I thought we had decided to just focus on having a girls’ night out tonight, no boys allowed?” you say, giving her a knowing look. She shrugs her shoulders and smiles jestingly.
“You can still appreciate the view, even if you’re not looking to buy,” she teases, taking another sip of her drink. You shake your head, laughing at her antics, but you can’t help but look over in the direction of the guy at the bar again. He catches your eye and flashes you a charming smile. He is cute, sure, but not cute enough for you to want to do anything about it.
But to be fair, he could be the cutest guy in all of D. C. and you probably still wouldn’t do anything about it. You don’t really have the time or energy for dating right now and you are not really currently in the mood for meaningless sex with a stranger either.
Your job consumes so much of your life already, and you’re content with just focusing on your career, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to share your life with, but what you’ve learned over the last few years is that most guys don’t understand the demands and emotional toll of your job. They either can’t handle the long hours, and all the time you have to spend on cases, or the gruesome details of your work, or they simply can’t comprehend the darkness that you have to face on a daily basis. And so, you’ve built up walls to protect yourself, to shield yourself from potential heartbreak or disappointment.
“You sure it’s not you who he’s checking out?” you ask, trying to shift the focus of the conversation away from your lack of interest in dating. Janelle laughs and shakes her head.
“No, I think he’s definitely into you,” she says, nudging you playfully.
“Well, I’m not interested, so he is all yours, Nell,” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as you give her a playful wink. Janelle just laughs and shakes her head.
“Nah, I’m good. I’m just here to have a good time with my girlies,” she says, raising her glass in a toast, making Machaela and Piper forget their never-ending debate and cheerfully join in.
Just as you’re about to raise your glass and join in the toast, your phone buzzes in your purse, interrupting the moment. You reach into your bag and pull out your phone, seeing Hotch’s familiar number flash across the tiny screen.
“Sorry, I have to take this,” you say with a sigh, standing up from the table giving your friends an apologetic smile. Your friends nod understandingly, knowing that your job always comes first as you excuse yourself from the table and head to a quieter corner of the bar to take the call. You feel a wave of exhaustion wash over you, knowing that your night out with your friends is about to be cut short.
“Yeah?” you answer, putting the phone to your ear, not bothering with any formalities as you know that Hotch is going straight to the point when he calls you outside of office hours.
“Sorry to interrupt your Friday night, but we’ve got a new case, high priority,” Hotch’s voice comes through the line, his tone serious and professional, but you can also hear the tired edge in his voice. It can’t be easy being the Unit Chief and always having to be on call, but you respect him for his dedication to the job. “I’m afraid I need you and the team back at the office ASAP.”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible,” you say, already mentally preparing yourself to switch back into work mode.
“Great, thank you, agent,” Hotch says, and you can hear the gratitude in his voice before he hangs up. You can only imagine how shitty it must feel to have to call in your team on a Friday night only a few hours after everyone has left the office. But that’s the nature of the job, and you have accepted it a long time ago, even though it means sacrificing your personal life and plans at a moment’s notice.
With a deep breath you take a moment to collect yourself, trying to shake off the disappointment of having to leave your friends behind. As you head back to the table to break the news to your friends, you can’t help but feel a pang of guilt for having to leave them hanging. They all look up at you expectantly, sensing the change in your demeanor. “I’m sorry guys, I have to go. Work…” you trail off, your voice apologetic, you hate having to disappoint them.
Michaela and Piper exchange sympathetic looks, while Janelle just nods understandingly. “It’s okay, we understand,” Janelle says, giving you a reassuring smile.
“I’m sorry I have to cut the night short,” you say, feeling the weight of disappointment settling in your chest.
“Hey, your job’s important, we’ll catch up another time,” Michaela says, standing up to give you a supportive hug. “And we are really proud of you, just so you know,” she adds, giving you a reassuring smile as she pulls back from the hug.
Suddenly you almost feel like you could cry. You spend so much time burying your emotions and focusing on the job that it almost feels overwhelming to be reminded that you have people outside of work who love and care about you. “Thank you, Kay,” you say, smiling back at her. You hug the others and say your goodbyes, before you quickly gather your things and prepare to head out and find a cab.
· · · · ·
Spencer is abruptly pulled out of his slumber by the sound of his phone ringing. The book he had been reading sprawled open in his lap. The softness of the armchair and the long week of work finally caught up to him, and he must have dozed off. He blinks groggily as he fumbles to grab his phone. He squints at the screen, momentarily disoriented from being woken up so suddenly. Seeing it’s a call from Hotch, he quickly answers, his voice still thick with sleep.
“Hello?” Spencer mumbles, trying his hardest to sound awake and alert despite his groggy state.
“Reid, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we have a new case, high priority. I need you and the others back at the office ASAP, we will have a briefing as soon as you’re all here,” Hotch’s voice comes through the line, terse and serious, but also tinged with exhaustion.
Spencer’s heart sinks at the news, knowing that his plans of spending a quiet Friday night at home, recovering after a hard work week is now dashed, but he quickly pushes the book aside, already mentally preparing himself to switch into work mode.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he replies, removing his glasses that he had swapped his contacts out for earlier in the evening. Rubbing his eyes and sitting up straight, the sense of urgency now kicking in.
“Thank you, Reid,” Hotch says before ending the call, leaving Spencer to gather his things and head out to Quantico without delay.
As he makes his way out of his apartment and towards his car, he can’t help but feel a sense of disappointment at having his night disrupted once again by work. He had really been looking forward to a quiet night in, and finally enjoy a break.
Spencer watches the city lights pass by in a blur as he begins to make his way out of D. C., the reality of his job sinking in once again. He knows that as a part of the BAU, his work is never truly done. The cases are always waiting, the criminals are always out there, and the demands of his job are always pressing. And while he loves what he does and finds fulfillment in helping to catch the most dangerous offenders, and having his mind challenged, there are days when he longs for a sense of normalcy, for a break from the darkness that seems to follow him everywhere he goes.
With a deep breath, he steels himself for the long night of driving and work ahead, knowing that he may not see his bed again for a while.
· · · · ·
As you arrive back to Quantico, you rush into the FBI building, quickly making it through the security check. The heels of your stilettos click loudly against the floor as you hastily make your way to the conference room. The short, tight dress that had made you feel so confident just a few hours ago now makes you feel exposed and vulnerable as you walk through the sterile hallways of the building.
You try to pull down the short hemline of your dress, as you push open the heavy door to the conference room, but it doesn’t change the fact that most of your thighs are on display and that your tits are almost spilling out of the low-cut neckline. It is so rare that you get the opportunity to dress up and feel sexy, so you might have gone a little overboard with your choice of outfit for a simple girls night, or at least that is how you feel now as you’re about to walk into a room full of your colleagues, who aren’t that used to see this side of you, and are about to hear about the details of a violent crime case.
As you step into the room, you see that Derek and Spencer are already sitting at the big round table, waiting for the rest of the team to show up, Hotch is probably in his office getting more details for the briefing before the entire team is here. They turn their heads in your direction as you enter, and you can feel their eyes lingering a moment longer than necessary, seemingly surprised to see you in such attire.
“Damn, princess, you clean up well,” Derek says with a smirk, giving you a once-over. “You had a hot date tonight or something?”
You roll your eyes at his comment, knowing that he always loves to tease you about your personal life. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Morgan,” you reply with a raised brown and a playful smile, taking a seat at the table and crossing your legs and adjusting your dress as you sit down.
“Of course, I would like to know, that’s why I asked,” Derek chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “You come in here looking like that, and you expect us not to ask questions? I just need to know, is he more handsome than me, should I be worried?” he teases, earning another playful eye roll from you.
“Can’t a girl just want to look good for a change, without it having to be for a man?” you shoot back.
“What do you mean, for a change? You always look good,” Derek counters with a charming smile, before he turns to Spencer, who has been awfully quiet this entire time. “Isn’t that right, pretty boy?”
Spencer looks up at Derek and then at you, a faint blush rising to his pale cheeks. His hair is slightly tousled and he is wearing his glasses, making him look even more adorable than usual. You don’t know if it is wrong of you to think of your colleague as adorable, he is a grown man and exceptionally capable of his job, you respect him a lot, but you just can’t help but find Spencer extremely endearing.
“You don’t have to answer that, Spence,” you quickly interject, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable. You know that Spencer can be a bit awkward when it comes to social interactions and you don’t want Derek’s teasing to make him feel even more self-conscious.
You and Spencer have become good friends over the two years that have passed since you joined the BAU team, you and him are the youngest agents in the unit. You have always admired Spencer’s brilliant mind and his ability to remember almost everything he reads as well as his sweet, quirky personality. You have a mutual respect for each other’s intelligence and dedication to the job. You have also noticed the way he sometimes gets lost in his thoughts or stumbles over his words when he’s nervous, and you have always tried to support him and make him feel comfortable in social situations.
But despite being friends and good colleagues, there’s also always been a slightly awkward tension between you and Spencer, at least on your end, it’s not like it’s there all the time, but you do feel it from time to time. You are not even sure where it comes from or why it’s there, but there’s something about Spencer that can make you feel slightly flustered and unsure of yourself, if you ever stop to think about it. It’s probably just because you admire him so much and don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of someone you respect so deeply.
“No, it’s okay,” Spencer says, his usual rambling tone coming through as he speaks. “You do look very nice, tonight. Wait, no, I mean, Morgan is right you always look nice, but you also look real nice tonight,” he stammers, stumbling over his words as he tries to explain himself.
You can’t help but smile at his adorable awkwardness, grateful that Derek’s teasing didn’t faze him too much. “Thank you, Spence,” you say, giving him a kind smile and reaching out to pat his arm reassuringly, hoping to ease his discomfort. “I appreciate it.”
“Oh, so when it is him you appreciate it, I see how it is,” Derek jokes, earning a playful shove from you.
“Shut up, Morgan, you know that I love you,” you say with a laugh, playfully rolling your eyes at him, which makes him laugh, but you don’t get to continue your banter as the rest of the team starts to filter in, Hotch enters the room with a stack of case files in hand, his usual stoic expression in place as he takes his seat at the head of the table to begin the briefing.
“Thank you all for coming with such short notice,” Hotch starts, his voice authoritative and commanding. “We have a new case that just came in and it’s classified as high priority. A series of brutal murders have been reported in Northern California. Local police have finally reached out to us for assistance after multiple cases after two new victims were found earlier in the day. They have all been double murders, with the assumption that the victims have been stalked for a while beforehand, and are then killed in a very specific and violent manner. All have been young married couples, all under thirty, and in all of the cases, the female victim has been between five and nine months pregnant.”
As Hotch continues to outline the details of the case, you can feel the weight of the seriousness of the situation settle in the room. You are usually able to compartmentalize your emotions and focus on the task at hand, but the thought of innocent lives being taken in such a violent manner always hits a nerve and you feel a chill run down your spine as Hotch describes the details of the case, the gravity of the situation sinking in. This is a disturbing and horrific case, one that hits close to home for you as a woman.
As Hotch finishes the briefing he turns to Spencer. “Reid, I would like to have a word with you in my office. The rest of you, start looking into the evidence and see if we can find any leads or patterns that may help us track down the unsub.”
You watch as Spencer nods in acknowledgment, it’s clear that he is a bit confused about being called into Hotch’s office alone, as he follows Hotch out of the room, leaving you and the rest of the team to start digging into the case files and evidence.
· · · · ·
“Please take a seat,” Hotch says as he gestures towards the chair in front of his desk, as Spencer follows him into his office. Spencer feels slightly anxious as he takes a seat, his eyes searching Hotch’s face for any clues as to why he’s been called into his office while Hotch takes his seat behind the desk. Hotch clears his throat before speaking, his tone serious and professional. “I have something to ask you to do, and it’s not a small thing,” Hotch begins, his eyes fixed on Spencer. “I need you to think carefully before you answer.”
Spencer can feel how his heart starts to race, his mind already trying to anticipate what Hotch is about to ask him. “What is it?” he asks, his voice steady despite his growing nerves. Hotch takes a moment to gather his thoughts before he speaks again.
“I’ve spoken with the local authorities in California, as well as our own expert and with the circumstances of the case and lack of leads, we have decided that the best way to proceed is to send in two undercover agents that fits the profile of the victims, and I want to ask you to be one of those agents.”
Spencer’s eyes widen in surprise, his mind racing with the implications of such a task. Going undercover in a case like this would be incredibly risky, not to mention emotionally taxing and it is not something he has much expertise in.
“I understand that this is a big ask, but you fit the profile of the victims and your ability to think on your feet and adapt in high-pressure situations makes you the best candidate for this job,” Hotch explains, his eyes searching Spencer’s face for any sign of hesitation.
Spencer takes a moment to process Hotch’s words. He can see the logic in Hotch’s reasoning with the specific details of the case and the lack of leads; it might be the best way to proceed, and Spencer knows that it is only done when absolutely necessary. “And you’re sure I’m the best agent for the job, I don’t have much experience with undercover work,” Spencer says, keeping his voice as steady as he can while feeling the uncertainty within himself.
“You’re more than capable, Reid. Your intelligence and quick thinking are your strongest assets, and we have full confidence in your abilities. I would never ask this of you if I was not fully convinced that you are fit for this job. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I also know that you have it in you to handle it,” Hotch reassures him, his tone firm and unwavering.
Spencer nods, taking a deep breath as he processes the weight of the task that has been given to him. This is a very serious assignment, one he knows is crucial to solving the case and bringing justice to the victims. “If you believe I can do it, then I’ll do it,” Spencer says finally, his voice resolute.
Hotch nods, a sense of relief crossing his features. “Thank you, Reid. This means a lot to the case, and I know you will do a great job,” he says, his voice showing his appreciation.
Spencer reciprocates the nod, feeling a surge of determination coursing through him. It’s a lot to take in, and it takes his usually so fast thinking mind a second to realize that he won’t be going undercover alone. “Who will be the other agent going undercover with me?” Spencer asks, wanting to know who he will be partnering with.
“I have someone in mind, but I want to make sure that she is on board before we move forward.”
“Is it, Y/L/N?” Spencer can’t help but ask, his mind already considering the possibilities of who he is going to work undercover with, and you are the person in the unit that would fit the profile of the victim the best. He really hopes it’s gonna be you, even though a part of him also doesn’t want you to be put in a potentially dangerous position. Spencer knows that your skills and intelligence would complement his own in such a high-stakes situation. And most importantly he just really likes being around you. You are always so kind to him and you never fail to make him feel included and supported.
Hotch nods. “Yes, she fits the profile as well and I believe that she has the expertise for this kind of operation. I will speak with her and see if she is willing to take on this assignment. I trust that the two of you will work well together on this case and you seem to get along well, and that’ll be important in this case. I’ll have to be sure that the agents I’m sending in can deliver a believable performance.”
And that is when it really dawns on Spencer, the two of you are not just going into a dangerous situation together, you will also have to pretend to be a couple, a young married couple expecting a child. He had been so caught up in the seriousness of the assignment and the potential risks involved that he hadn’t even considered that part of going undercover with you.
The thought of pretending to be a married couple with you, even if it’s just for the sake of the operation, sends a wave of feelings and thoughts through him, too many at once for him to fully process. Sure, it’s all part of the job, but the idea of being so close to you and having to maintain that facade is a challenge he’s not sure he’s fully prepared for. The idea of playing the role of your husband, even if it’s just for work, is both exhilarating and absolutely terrifying at the same time.
But as Spencer looks into Hotch’s eyes, he sees the trust and confidence that his boss has in him, and he knows that he can’t back down now. He has a job to do, and he will do it to the best of his abilities, alongside you.
· · · · ·
After Hotch and Spencer left the conference room, you and the other agents moved back to your desks to go through the evidence and case files. You are now wrapped in the cardigan that usually hangs from the back of your desk chair and you feel a little more office appropriate.
“Damn, this is a tough one,” Derek says, shaking his head as he scans through the crime scene photos. “The level of violence in these murders is just brutal.”
You nod in agreement as you flip through your own stack of evidence, looking up from the file in your hand as Spencer and Hotch emerge from Hotch’s office, Spencer walking down the stairs to join the team, but Hotch stays back, his expression serious and you get a little surprised when he addresses you.
“Can I have a word with you in my office?” Hotch says, his tone somber before he steps back into his office.
You can’t help but feel a sense of urgency as you put down the file in your hand and get up from your desk. You pass Spencer at the foot of the stairs, his eyes flicking down to meet yours. “Everything okay?” you ask, a hint of concern in your voice. Spencer nods, but there is something in his eyes you can’t quite read.
“Yeah, uh… yeah, Hotch will explain,” he says, his voice slightly tense, and a slight crease is formed between his brows but the look in his brown eyes are soft as they meet yours.
“Okay,” you whisper, giving him a small smile, before you quickly step up the stairs, or at least as quickly as you can in your five inch heels. You feel a small knot of anxiety starting to form in your stomach as you step into the office, wondering what this is about.
The door clicks shut behind you, and you feel the weight of Hotch’s gaze on you as you stand in front of his desk. “Please, sit down,” Hotch says, his tone grave as he gestures towards the chair in front of him. You take a seat, feeling a sense of unease settling in your stomach.
Hotch’s expression is unreadable as he looks at you, and for a moment, you can’t help but wonder what all of this is about.
“I have a very big thing to ask from you, agent, and I want you to know that I’m asking this of you because I trust you can handle it. It’s a request, but the choice is fully up to you,” Hotch starts, his voice steady but filled with seriousness. “Due to the lack of leads and the nature of these murders, we have come to the decision to send in two undercover agents who fit the profile of the victims to try and draw out the unsub, and I would like to ask you to be one of those agents. Agent Reid has already agreed to take on the assignment, the two of you match the victim profiles, and I truly believe that with your skills and expertise, you would be the perfect choice for this task.”
You lean back in your chair as you let Hotch’s words sink in. So this is why Hotch wanted to talk with Spencer. Going undercover on a case as gruesome and high stakes as this is not something to take lightly, but with the circumstances of the case and the lack of current leads you can see the logic in it. It’s a risky move, but you know that sometimes risky moves are necessary in order to catch the unsub and bring justice to the victims.
“I know that this is a very big thing for me to ask of you, and I want you to know that I fully understand if you have any reservations or concerns,” Hotch continues, his tone earnest. “But I also believe that you have what it takes to handle this assignment, and your dedication to the job is unparalleled. I wouldn’t ask this of you if I wasn’t convinced that you could handle it.”
“I understand the gravity of this assignment, Hotch,” you say, your voice calm and steady, wanting to reassure him that you are aware of the importance of the task at hand. “I am aware of the risks involved, and if you think I’m the right person for the job, then I’ll do it.”
Hotch nods, his features softening. “Thank you, agent. I know this is a lot to ask, but I have full confidence in your abilities and I truly believe that you and Reid will be able to handle this assignment with the utmost professionalism.”
You nod in acknowledgment, a surge of determination coursing through you by your decision. You also can’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over you at the fact that Spencer will be the person going undercover with you. You trust him implicitly and that makes you feel a sense of ease.
“I will arrange for a briefing with you and Agent Reid to go over the details of the assignment. You’ll also have to go through a training course while we set up a location for the undercover operation, and you will of course be given your undercover identities. I’ll inform the rest of the team about the assignment,” Hotch’s words are firm and decisive, and you can see the weight of responsibility in his expression. “But you better get home and get some rest. You have a long and intense process ahead of you, agent,” he adds, a softer tone creeping into his voice.
“Copy that,” you reply as you stand up from your chair. Soon you’re back down in the bullpen, standing at your desk as you gather your belongings and start to make your way out of the office. Just as you’re about to close your purse, you catch Spencer’s eye from where he’s standing over at his own desk, and as you give him a tired smile, which he mirrors, you swing your purse over your shoulder and walk over to his desk.
“So, Hotch asked you?” Spencer says as you approach him, his brown eyes meeting yours. You nod, the weight of the assignment settling in as you face each other.
“Yeah, he did. Looks like we’re partners in this one,” you reply, smiling at him once again.
Spencer nods, a small smile of his own tugging at the corners of his lips. You both stand there for a short moment, the weight of the assignment hanging heavily between you, before Spencer breaks the silence. “Do you need me to walk you to your car? I know the parking lot is just outside and that we have security, but still.”
You feel a wave of gratitude wash over you for his offer, and you can see the concern in his eyes as he looks at you, but that is also when you remember that you didn’t drive here yourself.
“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you,” you say, feeling touched by his concern. “But I actually didn’t drive here tonight, I took a cab.”
“You took a cab all the way from D. C.?!”
You laugh at his surprised expression. “Yeah, I was out, I didn’t have my car and I also had had a few drinks.”
“You should have called me, I could have picked you up and we could have driven together,” he says, his tone filled with genuine concern. You can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.
“I appreciate that, Spence. Maybe next time,” you say, giving him a grateful smile. You know that Spencer is always willing to go above and beyond to help his friends and colleagues, and you can’t help but feel extra lucky to have him as a partner in this assignment.
“Well, you have a ride back home now,” he says, offering you a gentle smile.
“That’s nice,” you reply, with a bright smile, feeling very grateful for his offer. You had expected to get a lift from one of your colleagues when you drove out here, it would be difficult, if not impossible, to get hold of a cab this late out here, but it feels really nice that you didn’t even have to ask for one.
“Of course,” Spencer replies, his smile growing wider. Soon the two of you are stepping out of the FBI building and are met with the brisk night air, your feet are hurting and the cool air makes goosebumps rise on your skin. But almost before you get to register it, Spencer has removed his jacket and offers it to you. “You must be cold,” he says, giving you a kind look. You try to protest, but he insists, draping the jacket over your shoulders.
“Thanks,” you mumble, not feeling like protesting further as soon as the warm feeling of the jacket engulfs you.
Once you reach his car, he opens the door for you and you slide into the passenger seat, feeling a sense of gratitude for his kindness. “You want this back?” you ask, removing the jacket from your shoulder. You don’t really feel ready to give up the warm garment, but you also don’t want to assume that he offered it for more than just the walk to the car.
Spencer shakes his head as he settles into the driver’s seat and you watch him start the engine. “No, you just keep it.” You smile happily as you toe off your shoes and curl up in the seat draping the jacket over your bare legs, feeling like it is enveloping you in a comfortable cocoon of warmth and safety as Spencer starts the car and begins the drive back towards D. C.
The landscape passes by in a blur outside the window as the two of you drive in comfortable silence, the both of you seemingly getting lost in your own thoughts for a little while. The weight of the assignment in front of you settles heavily between you.
“I’m really grateful that you’re going to be my partner on this assignment,” Spencer breaks the silence eventually, his voice soft but filled with sincerity.
“Me too,” you reply, turning to look at him, a small smile tugging at your lips.
Another comfortable stretch of silence fills the car as you continue on your way back to the city. Despite trying to fight it, your eyes start to feel immensely heavy. Fatigue from a long day and the weight of the impending assignment finally catching up to you, and with the gentle lull of the car you never really stood a chance and soon you are starting to doze off, slowly sliding into the sweet embrace of sleep as you sink deeper into the soft car seat.
Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are always greatly appreciated :) let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapter ♡ edit: it would especially be nice if you reblog when you ask to be added to the tag list ♡
Taglist: @luivisa @babyspiderling @reidsdaisies @eddioto @sadroses98 @lovelyygirl8
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doin’ time - C. Fisher
masterlist!
mentions of: cussing, makeouts, smut… 18+ MDNI. fem receiving (fingering), cum play, piv unprotected (wrap b4 u tap)
synopsis: at the empty house party you play a quick game of cat and mouse with conrad
wc: 3.5k
a/n: i haven’t proofread this yet
gif from @thatonekimgirl
the purple pink and blue strobe lights that Conrad, Belly, and Jeremiah bought at Paty City made you look like you were glowing. the party was 70's theme and you were dressed in a lime green mini dress with gogo boots, you teased your hair to have a bump paired with a white headband. you had a graphic black liner and you felt beautiful. you were with Cam at the dj booth. you and Cam have always been close, you guys were touchy, but you never liked him, nor did he to you. in fact he told you about his feelings for Skye which you applauded to because you wanted him to be happy.
"can you guys play" Jumper the one who allowed Belly to buy the liquor started his sentence. which was cut off when Skye pointed at the "fuck the requests" sign they made
"sorry the sign speaks" you say sitting next to Cam at a random table
"but" Jumper continues
"respect the playlist" Cam cuts Jumper off with that he walks away from his attempt
"Steven curated this playlist with great intent" Skye says making it sound like a great medicine that could cure all diseases
"to make boys get bitches" you say jokingly which was true you saw four guys within 30 minutes pull a girl upstairs
"rest in peace to their backs" Cam jokes since there were no beds in the house to have sex comfortably with
"so how are you and Conrad" Skye asks you
"what do you mean" it was out of the blue, you didn't know what they were talking about
"y/n you can't be that clueless" Cam pokes at you making you squirm
"i seriously don't know what your guys' game is right now" you say searching their eyes
"he so very obviously likes you" Skye says
"you have some nerve Skye" you say mocking them since they are also in a similar situation with Cam
"what does that mean" Cam asks
"nothing" Skye and you say in unison
"all im saying is that man is smitten with you" Skye says making Cam nod his head in agreement
"yeah right since when" you say taking a sip from your coke
"since you and I got close last summer, he got really stiff and would clench his jaw when we would hold each others hand or even when i had my hand around your waist, his whole mood would switch" Cam says pointing all the times Conrad has been tense
"all those times Belly would walk into the room" you rebuttal Cam’s so very wrong analysis.
"ehhh wrong" both Cam and Skye said in the same time making you laugh at how alike they are
"i've ran tests and experiments, that man always sits next to you and looks for your vote in a decision," Skye says
"fuck you both" you say flipping them off
"time and place" Cam says at lightning speed
"i don't want to get scoliosis" you mock the previous joke you said before
"don't think that's how it works" Skye retorts but nonetheless they laughed as well
"hey y/n let's get a picture" Steven says pulling you away from the two others as Conrad was hiding behind him
"yeah sure" you say hopping off the table saying you'll be right back to the others
as you were following the two boys through the groups of sweaty highlighter bodies you were almost lost and by each step the gap between you and Conrad grew bigger. he looked right behind and saw what was happening. he extended his hand out so the gap would close and you grabbed on. you walked until you were at the bottoms steps of the staircase. surprisingly there was nobody there
"ok stand right there" Steven says as he was looking through the polaroid lens
"did you set this up" you whisper in Conrad's ears as you tiptoe
"no" he says flustered
"he's lying" Steven says making you shocked by his good hearing
"good" you say as you smile wide for the camera as you try your hardest to give Conrad bunny ears. you wait for the flash but Steven takes his time. you could feel Conrad's eyes on you. as well as his arm snake around your waist. were they right? did Conrad really like you? as you get out of your own head you finally get the bright white flash from the camera making this go by faster
"let me see" Conrad says as if he was out of his spell and going over to Steven to see the photo, but the thing about Polaroids is that you have to wait a moment to see the photo develop
"stay with me" Conrad says grabbing you by the waist to take you to the bottom of the stairs and sit
"ok" it wasn't like he asked you to stay it was a demand and you weren't mad about it
"I'm going to find Taylor" Steven says as he walks away
"wear a condom" you scream
"fuck off" Steven screams back
"so how are you and Cam" Conrad asks through gritted teeth
"he's good, going to see if Skye already asks him out" you say trying to slide the fact that you and Cam aren't dating
"oh, I thought you two were a thing" Conrad says trying his hardest to bite back his smile
"no, we're just really close" you say meeting his blue eyes that were now dark with a glint in his eye
"cool" he says not knowing what else to say
"cooool" you say not knowing how to carry the conversation
"yeah" was the only thing muttered from Conrad
"why cool" you say trying to see his thought process
"cool in the fact i spent all of last summer wasting my time with Nicole, no offense to her she's cool, just wanted to talk to you" he says searching your eyes to see if he struck a nerve
"you're cute, dumb and oblivious, but cute" you say as your hand goes to his hair and push it to his ear, making him almost pur to your touch
"i'm the oblivious one" he says in a confused and questionable way
"yes, I'm the one talking to you" you say in the same tone
"you clearly never looked my way" he says pointing at your chest
"bullshit" you say leaning against the railing
"everyone else picked up on it" Conrad says
"ok fine, i was the oblivious one" you say surrounding "give me the photo" you say as enough time has passed so it would be devloped
"what would you give me if i do" Conrad whispered lustfully which caught you off guard
"pfft nothing" you says as you extend your arm to get the photo from his other side
"than no" he says grabbing the photo and extending his arm backwards so you couldn't reach it
"fuck your long arms" you say climbing over his lap and trying to grab the photo which made your boobs hit his face making him kiss them "oh shit my bad" you say retracting back to your previous seat
"no" Conrad says wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you on his lap
"oh" you say as you see Conrad lean in for a kiss and you go in, letting all your muscles relax and allow you to really enjoy this kiss, both your hands on each side of Conrad's face as his are trained on your waist and tangled in your hair
"i really like you" he says pulling away from the kiss to look up at your face seeing how swollen your lips have already gotten
"good, because i like you too" you say smiling at the fact some of your pink lipgloss got on his lips "let me see the photo" you says looking deep into Conrad's eyes as he hands the photo to you
it was you the highest you could possibly go on your tiptoes to give Conrad the bunny ears, but even than you could barely see your fingers. your face was looking straight at the camera with the most derpiest smile you could plaster on. he on the other hand was looking deep into you, he wanted to savor the moment of how you looked while someone takes a picture of you, no one ever does that, their main priority was to look at the lens. and even now as you look deep into the photo and analyze it. Conrad is looking at you seeing how you take something as small as a picture and critique it
"why are you looking at me in this" you say flipping the photo to him
"i don't know" he says, but he was obvlously lying, you could tell he was lying when he says those three words
"you're a liar" you say as you go in for a quick kiss which makes Conrad excited, but you quickly pull away
"booo" he says like a seven year
"not until you tell me the truth" you say looking deep into his eyes as he eyes your lips to make sure he catches everything over the loud music and also because he wants to continue kissing you
"i never get to be that close to you and i really liked you and thought you were dating Cam so I had to take advantage of my time with you" he blurts everything out ready to kiss you again
"awe" you say clapping both of your hands to your face making Conrad pull you into a kiss by grabbing you by the back of your head
"get a fucking room" Jeremiah says to the both of you
"we'll take yours asshole" Conrad says jokingly
"ewww gross" he says walking down the hall
"do you want to" Conrad says trying not to push anything, but he did really want you, but he wouldn't say anything because he didn't want to sway your vote
"umm sure" you say putting a piece of hair behind your ear
“here follow me” Conrad says as he carrie’s you off his lap so you could stand and than he got up.
he grabbed your hand in his and led you up the stairs. you were close with Belly so you knew enough about the house layout. but it was all empty now so it felt odd and anything but a home. it was just a house now. his room was empty. you tried to picture having a good comfortable time but you couldn’t. he could see the expression all written on your face.
“we could use a floaty” he says scratching the back of his head
“and pop it” you laugh thinking of the idea of doing it only to pop it in the middle of it
“i want it to be nice” he says trying not to have just a hookup. he really liked you. he wanted this night to be special. he finally got his girl
“it could be nice another day, hooking up at a party is already so unclassy” you say pulling him for a kiss
“ok but than where” he says in between your kiss
“what about the bathroom” it was the only place that could be remotely nice
“ok follow me” he says kissing you once last time on your gore head, lips, and lastly neck
Conrad grabbed your hand and took you down the hall to the bathroom. surprising it wasn’t busy. when you opened the door Conrad immediately locked the door. after he instantly cornered you at a wall so you couldn’t leave him. which you weren’t planning on it either way
“hey” Conrad said leaning his forehead on yours
“hi” you say leaning in to kiss him. leaned in for a kiss. it was deep and passionate. you felt yourself relax. your shoulders fell down as your hands followed his face to his jaw and let them stay there. as Conrad was deepening the kiss you let out a slight moan. it was music to Conrad’s ears. he wanted to hear more. he was hungry to hear more.
“i need you” Conrad pulls away from you with blissed out eyes
“fuck- me too” you say as Conrad picks you up and sits you at the sink
he lifted your dress up to reveal your dark red laced thong. he felt himself snap. he needed you. he needed to be inside you.
as he pulled the thong all the way down. “god you’re so wet” he puts the red lace in his pocket for ‘safe keeping’
he licked his two fingers as lubricant and started to finger you. you followed his fingers as they disappeared and reappeared. sucking on your bottom lip to not draw attention to the bathroom. even though no one could hear you over the loud music.
“look at me when i’m fucking you” Conrad demanded. he wanted to see how your face contoured at his actions. making him feel good inside
if he could he would do this to you all day. he’s been dreaming about this ever since he could remember. he continued with his action. adding fingers as he goes. as he did you gasped into his forearm almost drawing blood with your red nails. Conrad was circling your clit with his other hand to speed the processes up. he needed you.
“Conrad” you whispered lowly and it snapped. Conrad and you. with the white liquid falling down his hand.
“god i need you” as he licks his fingers clean and leaning down to kiss you, tasting yourself
“you’re all i need” you say with fucked out eyes
Conrad unbuttoned his pants, dropping everything with it. making you take his shirt off. leaving him exposed. you opened your legs wider for him.
“fuck” Conrad leans in to kiss you biting your bottom lip as he pulls away “i don’t have a condom” he says flatly
“it’s fine, i’m on the pill” you say as you get the cum spilling from you and rubbing it on Conrad to lubricat him.
“i need to feel you” Conrad says desperately as he pushes inside you. kissing you to hide your moans.
he was huge. you don’t know what you were expecting but he was stretching you in the best way possible. the whole time knowing Conrad you never ever thought about his size. as he entered inside you, you leaned against the mirror and exposing your neck. moaning loudly to the way Conrad is making you feel giving him a confidence boost. as he continued his actions you would look down because you liked the view and every time Conrad lifted your head to see him. and when he did you moaned because he was the one fucking your cunt.
“let me hear you” Conrad whispered in your ear
“fuck Connie” you say grabbing Conrad and making out with him
something about you being fucked in retro clothes. and how Conrad liked the dress because he could see your boobs which allowed him to leave hickeys down your chest as a manrepelent. that he is the one for you and only you. you tugged on his hair to make him moan, which led to him kissing you deeply, hitting a new spot
“y/n you need to take a picture with me and Taylor” Belly says loudly through the door
“mm- yeah on it just doing some-e touch ups” you struggle to speak because Conrad just kept going deeper and circling your clit trying to make you mess up
as you heard the steps walk away you let out a loud moan which you weren’t expecting. the white substance running down your legs as Conrad just looks amazed at you.
“that was so hot” Conrad says hiding his face into your neck leaving new hickeys to decorate your body in the morning “turn around” Conrad demanded
“but-“
“please it’ll be quick”
and so you did. you didn’t know why but you trusted him with everything you had inside of you. maybe because you knew him amongst all your life, but either way he was making you feel so good today.
he turned you around so your face was looking at the mirror. it was fogged up from the steam coming from the both of you. Conrad aligned himself again going deeper and faster keeping the same pace he liked how your face would come close to the mirror almost hitting it. your eyes were watering and you were trying not to let them stream and ruin your makeup, but he just kept going
your hair was all sorts of tangled. your eyeliner and masacra running and your lipstick was smudged. your boobs were spilling out from the top of the dress as Conrad kept pounding inside of you.
“you look so fucking hot” Conrad says looking at you from the mirror
“yeah” you say half moan half question
“fuck yeah” Conrad affirmed
“take a picture” you say grabbing his phone from the counter and putting it on selfie mode. letting both you and Conrad in the photo as you but your lip and he concentrates on making you feel good
“fuck that was hot” he says as you put it in his hidden photos
you would look at his face from the mirror he was so focused on pleasuring you. and than another moment he would make eye contact with you through the mirror. his naked body heaving from the lost of air.
he leaned down to where your ear was nibbling at it and licking it to add more stimulus and make you come which was successful. you grasped into the sink so hard that you thought you would break it and moaned so loud that Conrad made you face him and kiss him to suppress the noise. because even though he liked hearing you, that was loud enough to hear over the music and didn’t want to stop the fun
“Conrad-” you say clenching on Conrad’s shaft
your stomach was tightening for the third time this night. you felt your body come to a stop, everything inside you started to tighten. you were sure your mascara was running
Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you ramble. He speeds his movements, knowing you’re close
“You’re so beautiful.” he thought. The way your head is titled back, your mouth wide open. He loves the way your eyes were screwed shut in pleasure. He couldn’t help but smile, not being able to stop admiring you.
He watches your face as you unravel, feeling him come close behind. “Ohmygod, fuck. Conrad, please,” you begin to pull away from him and look forward, the overstimulation almost painful. you came so hard tipping Conrad over the edge and following behind.
as he pulls out you felt the cold air hit you and you arched your back, Conrad looks at the sight and wishes he could take a picture. he uses his fingers to push the cum in.
“what are you doing” you ask standing straight but losing your balance
“i want you to walk around with my cum inside you” Conrad says leaning in to kiss you
“you’re so annoying” you say turning around to the fogged you mirror and cleaning it with your hand. fixing your eyes and smudged lips.
“i’m keeping these” Conrad pulls your underwear from his pocket
“no!” you yelp running to grab them but breaking your ankles
“did i do i that” Conrad asks at your lose of walking skills
“shut up” you say walking slowly to the door and walking away struggling
“two new photos today” he says referring back to the polaroid and the explicit version
“only for you” you say fixing your dress down your body as you take your shoes off to be able to walk a little better
“what now” Conrad asked
“i’m tired let me lay with you” you say wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss you
“ok” he says with a polite smile
you didn’t really understand how he could destroy you one moment and than the nicest person in the world. a person who would want to give you the world. and you enjoyed it. it kept you on your toes.
you quickly run to his room to make sure one one else could see your state of fucked up appearance. but your plan failed as Conrad quickly swooped you taking you in for a quick kiss making you smile.
“i have some extra clothes if you want” he asks pulling them out to you
“ooo give me” you say changing quickly in the corner of his room
“you’re funny” he says laughing laying down on his blanket and pillow
“what why” you say putting the shirt over your head and walking back to him
“you were all about yourself a second ago and than now you’re all shy” he says poking you
“oh shut up” you say moving your body so your back faced him
“make me” he says towering over your face so he could be kissed by you
a/n: i take requests!
#mntalbrakdown#belly x conrad#conrad fisher#conrad fisher x reader#conrad fisher x reader smut#conrad fisher x y/n#team conrad#conrad fisher x you#jeremiah fisher#conrad x reader#conrad x belly#cam cameron#conrad fisher imagine#the summer i turned pretty#conrad fisher fanfic#conrad fisher x fem!reader#jeremiah fisher x reader#tsitp conrad#conrad fisher angst#conrad fisher smut#conrad fisher fluff#conrad fisher icons#conrad fisher one shot#conrad fisher au
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oh my gosh! I am in love! pleaseee continue this
https://www.tumblr.com/saturnitystar/758532956071624704/chocolate-coated-hearts-rl?source=share
yesss i love barista!remus too much not to continue <3 !! i got so carried away and this was way longer than i expected it to be haha
chocolate-coated hearts | r.l. (part 2)
୨ৎ series masterlist
barista!remus x shy!reader
tw: fluff, use of y/n
The rain patters down mercilessly, the tip-tap sound from where it’s hitting your file awfully loud. You break into a slight jog, holding the black file above your head as if it would offer some sort of protection against the downpour.
You were on the way back from the university, and had conveniently ignored your roommate’s reminders to bring an umbrella earlier that morning, because oh, are you sure you checked the forecast for the right day? and it hasn’t rained in weeks – why the hell would it rain today? Unfortunately, it did rain today.
The dampness soaked through your shoes as you moved, splashing upwards to wet your pants. You let out an exasperated sigh and lift your head, eyes darting around to seek shelter until the rain subsided.
In your peripheral vision, you could see a library – but that was way too chilly, given the way you were trembling. There was a bar, but… that was where your weird neighbour, Carl, went every evening. And you were in absolutely no mood to entertain his rambling. You wrap your arms around yourself, shivering as you trot a little further in an attempt to find a decent place. Wetness was seeping into your clothes, igniting a chill throughout your entire body.
As the seconds ticked by, you felt the frustration building up. Everything was just going so wrong today. Your lecturer had returned your analysis of Pride and Prejudice, and you had done so badly that it had to be redone. Plus, you were supposed to go out with Madison for lunch, but she had fallen horribly sick. And now, the torrential rain seemed to be mocking you – adding insult to injury.
The warm orange lighting of a sign came into view, and you squint your eyes to make out the words. Rubbing water off your face, you realise that the sign said Beanie’s. Well, it was a cafe – that was good enough. As you veered off the pathway to the right, you could smell freshly-baked cookies and coffee from the place. It better be warm inside, you thought. One more screw-up, and you genuinely believed you would burst.
You come to a stop outside the cafe, taking laboured gasps of air to catch your breath. You shake the water off your file and push the door open, stepping inside.
Fortunately, it was warm inside – you could feel the hot air blowing onto your skin immediately, drying your clothes from inside out. But to your misfortune, the heat seemed to be spreading to your face as well when you caught sight of the person behind the counter.
It had completely slipped your mind. But now it was all coming back to you, staring at his chiselled arms as he placed a plate of bagels on a tray. Your incident a few weeks ago, when you’d embarrassingly frozen on the spot and let the hot barista pick your donuts for you.
That had weighed on your mind for days, the way you had humiliated yourself in front of possibly the most angelic person on earth, and how said angel had treated you as though you were some kind of delicate flower.
You glance back out at the rain, drawing your lip in between your teeth as you contemplated your options. Either you went back out there, or you moved forward and ordered from Mr. Super Hot Barista. And you were definitely not going back into the rain.
Sucking in a deep breath, you brushed your soaked hair out of your face and wiped your hands on your sweatshirt. You shake off as much water as possible before walking towards the counter, feeling shivers run down your spine – from the cold or from shyness, you weren’t sure.
“Hi.” It comes out unnecessarily loudly, and you cringe. You actively try not to ogle at him, and your eyes fall on the tag on his shirt. Remus, it said. For fuck’s sake, even his name was pretty.
Mr. Super Hot Barista – Remus – looked up from the cookies he was boxing, his hazel eyes meeting yours. You could have sworn something like recognition flashed in his gaze. “Hey,” he smiled easily.
It was happening again, and you hated it. You felt your throat start to go dry as you held his gaze, and his smile slowly widened. You swallowed nervously, the quick drip, drip of water from your hair mirroring how fast your heart was beating. He very well knew the effect he was having on you, and was taking full advantage of it.
“So,” Remus started, “What would you like to order, sweetness?”
You thought you were going to pass out from the sheer amount of endearment in the nickname, eyes widening and cheeks turning pink. But you were a strong, independent young woman. And you were not going to let some random barista knock you off your feet.
“One small cappuccino, please,” you squeak, horrified at how small your voice was.
“Right,” he ducked his head to key it into the register, and you resist the urge to reach out and brush your fingers through his gorgeous curls. “And would you like any chocolate donuts with that?”
You swore your stomach flipped upside down at the comment – he remembered your little situation. Your hands come up to cover your reddening cheeks as you involuntarily let out an embarrassed groan.
The sound of his soft chuckle only exacerbates the sensation of your heart bobbing up and down in your chest. “Sorry, sorry – just messing with you.”
You let out a strangled sort of noise, still unwilling to look up and let him see just how flushed you probably were. When you press your face further into your palms, his voice softens. “Hey, I’m not trying to put you on the spot, I swear. I’m sorry.”
The slight tinge of guilt in his voice makes you look up immediately as you drop your hands to your sides. You see him standing in front of the coffee machine, preparing your cappuccino. “No, no. You’re not putting me on the spot, I’m just –” you sputter out, letting out a nervous chortle.
“God, you’re really embarrassed, aren’t you?” he breathes out in quiet laughter. “Calm down, pretty girl. I promise I won’t bite.” That majorly sucks, you thought. You envisioned how his lips would look biting into a cream puff, cursing yourself for even thinking of it a moment later.
“Okay,” you mumble, flipping your slightly less damp hair over your shoulder. And the next thing you utter, you don’t even think about it before saying it. “Don’t call me pretty girl.”
You immediately slap a hand to your mouth, eyes widening in shock at your own tongue. Literature students, and the yappers they are, Madison had once complained. Now you knew just how right she was.
Remus let out an amused snort, his lips curving upwards in a grin. “Okay, sorry, sweetness.”
“Don’t call me that either.”
“Someone’s picky,” he muttered, the smile still on his face as he pressed a lid onto the cup of coffee before pushing it towards you. “What can I call you, then?”
“Y/n,” you mumble, praying that your delight at having been asked your name was not showing on your face.
“Y/n,” he lets it roll around on his tongue, a sweet smile playing on his lips. He scribbles something onto your cup. “That’s a nice name.”
“You too,” you say without thinking, glancing downwards to pull money out the pocket of your pants. You look up to find him eyeing you with his eyebrow arched. A giggle escapes you as you point at his nametag. “Remus, right?”
He looks down at his shirt and chuckles, realisation lighting up his face. “Yeah, my name’s Remus.”
Remus glances back up as you drop the money into his hand. And you’re very careful not to let your fingers brush against his palm this time.
His smile was soft and sunny, making it feel like it had never even rained in the first place. “Bye.”
“Bye,” you echo, your heart fluttering in your chest as you offer him a smile. You turn around to find a table, and just then realise that the cafe was as crowded as it was the last time you were here, if not more.
You purse your lips worriedly. It was still storming outside, and you really needed to get started on your failed analysis and your newly assigned one –
“Y/n!”
You swivel back around to find Remus grinning at you. “You can sit here,” he gestures at the bar stools in front of the platform, which were unoccupied. “I get lonely anyway. It’ll be nice to have some fun company.”
“Oh,” you murmur, an unignorable sense of relief settling over you. “Okay, thanks.” You make your way over, setting your coffee and tote bag down on the platform before hauling yourself up onto the stool.
As he picks up donuts and packs them into boxes, you pull out your book and a stack of foolscap. Remus glances up at the sound, his face immediately lighting up. “M.L. Rio?”
You nod. If We Were Villains was the next book you were assigned to work on.
“That was a good book,” he says casually as he begins to work again. “Why, are you annotating it or something?”
You try not to beam. He reads, your brain was screaming at you. He reads and he has excellent fucking taste. Could he possibly be more perfect?
“Not just annotating,” you reply, a pleased lilt to your voice. “Analysing, for a project. Oh – I forgot to mention, I’m majoring in literature.”
“Literature, huh?” he grins as he sets his tongs down, and he looks almost bemused. “Interesting.”
You pull out a pen and begin to write, the smile never fading from your face. He lets you work in silence, the only sound being the metallic clinking of tongs as he packs pastries into bags and boxes.
“Hot take,” he says suddenly, a couple minutes later. You look up, surprised. “I don’t believe James was some sort of tragic hero, as people make him out to be. I think he was the villain.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he snorts, and a laugh bubbles out of you. “That’s a ridiculous opinion.”
Remus rolls his eyes. “As a literature student, I think you need to be more open-minded.”
“The title is ‘If We Were Villains’, not ‘I Am The Villain’!” you retort indignantly, earning a loud bout of laughter from him. He shakes his head indulgently, continuing to stack boxes. “Great point.”
You can hear the deadpan in his voice, but decide to take it as a victory anyway. Grinning, you get back to your book as a comfortable silence settles over the both of you.
It was hard, but you were trying your hardest not to glance up at him every once in a while. The glowy orange light on the ceiling shone down on him, and you felt your curiosity growing towards the pale scars that decorated his face.
Whenever he caught you staring, you immediately evaded his gaze and took a sip of your coffee, or jotted something onto your paper. You thought you may have seen him trying not to smile a couple of times.
You blink as you glanced at your foolscap, which was full of random squiggly lines and words written in an attempt to make it seem like you were concentrating. But it was absolutely impossible to focus with Remus in front of you.
You furrow your eyebrows disappointedly. It really was important that you finished this up by tonight, and you were obviously not getting any work done here. One look outside told you that, unfortunately, the rain had stopped and the moon had come out.
Remus perked up when he heard the shuffling coming from you. He looked up to see you packing your things. “Leaving so soon?”
“Sorry,” you mutter as you pick up your cup of coffee, almost finished with it. “I’ve got more work to do at home.” The stool screeches as you stand up, slinging your tote bag over your shoulder. You rake your fingers through your hair – you had spent so long in the cafe, it was completely dry now.
He smiles, “Nah, you don’t need to apologise. It was fun talking to you.”
Your heart smiled at that. “Yeah, I had fun too.”
He stays silent for a moment, observing you. Your face starts to feel hot again. “Okay then, I’m gonna go.”
“Hey, wait a minute,” he calls out, causing you to turn back around.
You tilt your head questioningly. “There’s a poetry reading happening here, tomorrow, at 5pm. You like poetry?”
“Yeah,” you reply. “Yeah, I like poetry.”
He nods, the hint of a smile on his lips. “Come round if you’re free. I think you’ll like it.”
It felt like fireworks had begun to explode everywhere within you, from your head to toes and even in those little spaces between your fingers. “Okay,” you murmur. Your heart was tingling with excitement. “I’ll try to make it.”
“Great,” he grins, chucking his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the platform behind him. “Cool, then. See you.”
“See you,” you smile dazedly, pivoting and walking towards the exit with your coffee in hand. Your beam widened as you walked out, strolling back home as you sipped your coffee.
Remus had invited you to a poetry reading. A poetry reading.
Your cheeks ached from how hard you were grinning. You drink the last bit of your cappuccino, going to throw it in a bin on the street. That’s when you caught sight of something scrawled in black ink on the side of the cup.
There was a heart next to your name, and a number below it. Call me, pretty girl, it said in brackets.
You skipped all the way home.
#remus lupin x reader#san’s mail 💌#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin fic#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin#remus lupin headcanon#barista!au#marauders#the marauders x reader#marauders era#marauders fanfiction#marauders drabble#marauders fic#the marauders fanfiction#the marauders#the marauders x you#marauders x y/n#marauders x you#marauders x reader#marauder fanfiction#the marauders fic#the marauders fandom
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Sometimes I love the way fandom can take a split-second interaction and painstakingly analyze it to create elaborate characterization and backstory. And other times I feel like Sam Vimes:
He had a jaundiced view of Clues. He instinctively distrusted them. They got in the way. And he distrusted the kind of person who’d take one look at another man and say in a lordly voice to his companion, “Ah, my dear sir, I can tell you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times,” and then unroll a lot of supercilious commentary about calluses and stance and the state of a man’s boots, when exactly the same comments could apply to a man who was wearing his old clothes because he’d been doing a spot of home bricklaying for a new barbecue pit, and had been tattooed once when he was drunk and seventeen and in fact got seasick on a wet pavement. What arrogance! What an insult to the rich and chaotic variety of the human experience!
I can flip back and forth on the same piece of analysis depending on my mood. Because people aren't only ever just one thing! (I'm very much in a Vimes mood right now.)
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now playing: Moon
< track 6 || fine.
》 Alexia Putellas x Reader, Leah Williamson x Reader (platonic), María Leon x Reader (platonic), Barcelona Femení x Reader
》 words count: +6k
》 how can I be dead to you / when we're looking at the same moon?
The second leg of the Champions League’s quarter final between Barcelona and Arsenal is scheduled ten days after the first one.
Ten days in which you do nothing but think about this game. About welcoming your former club in your new home. About the tactics and the plays that didn’t work out quite as you wished, about what to do and not do to be better.
About Alexia.
Alexia’s a constant thought, and for the first time since leaving Barcelona, you allow that thought to invade every single corner of your mind.
I hope you found what you left for
The conversation you had on your favourite spot replies over and over again in your head. Lying in your bed as you relive it all late at night or surprised by a sentence in the middle of practice, it’s always with you in some way. You let her smile pop up out of nowhere and let one of your own grow on your lips without a reason. You indulge yourself in speaking about your relationship, about her, about how you felt with her and how you feel without her.
You try to forgive yourself now you know she doesn’t hate you.
To the point you permit yourself to send a text to Eli and Alba and invite them to watch the game in the family and friends’ section of the Emirates Stadium. They obviously declined, but you didn’t expect them to actually take in your offer - it was a symbolic gesture.
However, the entire Putellas family accepts your invite out for dinner that same night, even if Alexia insists on paying since they just kicked you out of the Champions League.
“You’re my guests, I’m gonna pay”
“Vale, I’m paying next time then”, she smiles.
Despite all the analysis and the tactics and the effort the entire Arsenal team and staff put into the game, despite the immense support of the fans who fill the stadium and cheer from the start to the final whistle, you lose.
Tecnichally, you tie. Claudia manages an incredible equaliser in the eightieth minute, crushing your hopes as the harsh law of football enforces the advantage Barça needs to get through the semifinals.
Your former teammates are reluctant to come to you after the game, but you accept gracefully their hands and words of encouragement. The tension none of you realise is there dissipates as soon as Alexia invites you into a group hug, surrounding you in Blaugrana’s colours briefly before you escape with Claudia’s jersey.
“As a reminder you could be playing for another Champions League if you stayed?”
“No, as a reminder to never piss you off again”
María is unusually soft in her teasing, letting a few jabs pass by and taking you in her arms when she senses that you need a place to let go of your disappointment without getting caught by the cameras.
“No te pongas triste, nos veremos pronto” (Don’t be too sad, you will see me again soon)
“Don’t you dare ask me to be a bridesmaid or something”
“¡A la mierda!”, the defender’s laugh might be able to fill the now half empty stadium, “Pero te necesito para elegir mi traje” (But I need you around to pick my outfit).
“You still don’t know what to wear?”
“Necesito buen gusto de verdad, no puedo permitir a mi futura esposa de ayudarme” (I need someone with a real fashion sense, it’s not like I can let my future wife help me).
“Frido?”, you try to ask.
“Está de su parte” (She’s on Ingrid side)
“Alexia?”
You and María exchange a knowing look. The Catalan is the most helpful person in most situations, but definitely not the right one for this job.
You bid your goodbye with a promise of a trip back to Barcelona before the end of the season, an away kit in your hand and a plan for dinner with your ex’s family.
The atmosphere in the changing room is tense, your teammates are upset about the result and not really in the mood to talk.
“Well, we lost to them and ten days later we tie”, you manage to draw their attention to you, “next time we face them we’re gonna win”
It’s stupid, it’s a risky attempt to break the ice in the room, but the different and loud reactions you get from all the girls tell you you’re all gonna be fine - even if you have to dodge a pair of boots to prove it.
I hope you found what you left for
~
That day, that loss, somehow and in some twisted way, gives you permission to feel everything you need to feel.
You let yourself be upset about getting kicked out of the Champions League by your former team, but you also let yourself celebrate every single win with your new club. You let yourself feel the bittersweet taste of a second place in the championship, but you lift the FA Cup with the same excitement you lifted every trophy in Barcelona. You let yourself miss your teammates-turned-friends when you go each on your own ways for the off-season, but you also invite them to spend time at your place that feels every day more like home.
Leah is delighted to see more than a faded shadow of who you are, this new version of you every day more present and every day clearer.
“You know, Keira used to talk you up so much back when you played together”, she says as you try to pack everything you think you need in an oversized luggage.
You will pay the extra tax, better than being unprepared.
“I don’t meet the expectation?”
“Definitely not”, she ducks just in time to avoid a pair of socks.
“She described you as this outgoing, always up for a joke person, and we got a moody footballer who barely spoke to us outside of the training centre”
The English captain is not wrong, the first weeks in London were very challenging both physically and mentally as you tried to adapt to a different style of play and a different view of yourself.
I hope you found what you left for
It took you some time, Leah and all the other girls’ patience, an overwhelming heart to heart talk with your ex girlfriend, and a devastating loss to reveal the first results of your slow healing process.
“Look at me now”
“Yeah, I don’t have to force myself in here anymore. You even cook for me willingly”
“Well–”, you’re not as fast as her when she throws the socks back at you.
Luggage filled and closed, silence spreads in the room when both of you want to address something but you don’t want to start a conversation that’s most likely to make the other uncomfortable.
“Last meal?”
“I’m leaving for a week to Barcelona, not to a war zone”
“In some sense–”
You ignore the blonde, yet go into the kitchen to cook something for the two of you. She offered to help you pack and drive you to the airport tomorrow, the least you can do is feed her one more time before letting her on her own devices.
Alexia’s comfort meal is what you go for. The ingredients are the only ones available in your fridge, and, honestly, the food looks comforting to you too this time.
“I don’t mind this version of you”
“You’re such a good friend, Williamson, have I ever told you?”
“Several times actually”
You don’t think you are the same person you were back in Barcelona, but you don’t think that is a bad thing either.
Maybe you’re not as outgoing as you used to be and you don’t find yourself involved in all the jokes your friends plan, but you’re letting yourself relax around the people you feel close to and you don’t hide your emotions anymore - sad nor happy ones.
Not a shell anymore, you can feel this new version of you growing out and taking down the wall you built around yourself one brick at a time.
You left to find yourself, even if you had no idea where to start your search.
You keep finding some pieces you thought were lost forever, others you never realise weren’t with you anymore. Some pieces you drop along the way, others you carefully say goodbye to to be buried deep down. Some new pieces you pick up yourself, and right now, you don’t care if they will stay with you forever or just till you need them.
You’re moving and, wherever you’re heading, you’re finding yourself on the way.
“Do you want to come with me?”
Leah’s reaction to your question caught you off guard, she almost choked on the food she’s devouring as a famished kid.
“Did you just fucking ask me to be your plus one at a wedding the day before you leave for said wedding?”
“What can I say, I’m known for my perfect timing”
You hand her a glass of water, knowing she’s most likely able to see right through you even if your eyes are fixed on the now empty plate.
“Are you scared to go to your friend’s wedding alone?”
“I need a buffer”
“You need a bulletproof jacket”, she really sees right through you.
“You need a new knee but I’m not here pointing it out, am I?”
It’s not like you’re scared to attend María and Ingrid’s wedding alone, and it’s not like you need a comfort blanket to hold on while surrounded by your friends and former teammates and people from your life back in Barcelona.
“Look, I’m flattered, you’re cute at everything but—”
“Ew, no, if you don’t shut up right now I’m going to break your good knee”
Leah knows that’s not the reason why you’re asking her to be your plus one, she just wants to poke at you and get the words out of you.
It takes her a couple of more quips and annoying comments to let you admit the real reason.
“Mapi let slip Alexia’s taking someone”
“Oh, sweet little Trotter, you’re asking me to make two time Ballon d’Or winner Alexia Putellas jealous–”, she doesn’t have the time to end her sentence as you sprint toward her and she has a feeling you’re not joking anymore about kicking her.
~
Leah ends up taking you to the airport the next day, insisting to drop you off as a kid on their first day of school. You have a feeling she doesn’t accept your invitation because the short notice doesn’t give her the proper amount of time to pick the right outfit, nothing more.
Another English girl picks you up when you land under the barely raised Barcelona’s sun, you almost feel like they take turns to babysit you.
“Keira, not to sound ungrateful, but I genuinely can’t think of anything worse than being your guest”
“Ouch! Do you wanna be left on the side of the road?”
“I’ll be fine in my fancy hotel room by myself, really”
“By yourself, uhm?”
The seatbelt is the only thing preventing you from hitting your head on the dashboard, despite your best effort. Of course they gossip about you. Whatever you tell Leah, you know it’s like you tell Keira too and vice versa. You even found yourself in the middle of one of they’re gossip sessions once, your life is their favourite topic lately.
They’re lucky you can admit you own them your sanity.
“I don’t know who she’s bringing”
“I didn’t ask”, you scoff as if the question isn’t on the tip of your tongue for weeks.
Well, you’re gonna find out in a couple of hours anyway.
Keira reluctantly drops you at the hotel you’re staying at, voicing once more you could have stayed with her or any of your other friends who she knows offered their home.
Your former teammates are way nicer with you now they’re once again Champions League winners.
Maybe it’s also because you stopped hide and actually made an effort to stay in touch.
Both can be true.
Once settled in your room and ready to leave, you’re so anxious one could think you’re the one getting married as you retouch your makeup every five minutes and keep fixing non-existent creases in your maroon strapless dress. It’s a beautiful tailor-made piece you never found the excuse to wear till now.
It’s a call from María herself that stops you from spiralling again about the shape of your eyebrows.
“If this is a getaway call, you must know I have no car nor intention of helping you”
“Idiota! Dónde estás?” (Where are you?), she asks with a well hidden note of anxiety in her voice.
“I’m not gonna be late and take the spotlight away from you, don’t worry”
“¿Puedes venir aquí por favor?” (Can you come here, please?)
“María, I’m gonna kill you”, you state, sliding your heels on with one hand and calling the reception to hail a taxi with the other.
You stay with her on the phone the whole ride to the venue, thankfully just ten minutes away since you planned this visit meticulously to avoid any “accident”.
You definitely didn’t plan this though.
As you storm into the room your friend tells you to find her, you should have seen it coming.
“If you need a getaway car or a pep talk, you know I’m not the right person”
“¿No tienes un discurso para convencerme de casarme?” (You don’t have a speech to convince me to get married?)
“You don’t need a speech”
“Ay, no, no lo necesito” (No, I don’t), she confirmed as you take in the grin and the attire she’s wearing, “Pero tu sí” (But you do).
María is relaxed and ready to walk down the aisle, saying goodbye to who you think is the makeup and hair team. You could have punched her if not out of respect for the incredible job they did. Just then you notice all the people in the room, Alexia in the corner with a sympathetic smile on her perfectly traced lips.
She’s stunning.
The long royal blue dress she’s wearing shows just the right amount of tanned skin, gold jewellery complimenting her features and making Alexia glow in a way you will never forget.
“I told her it was a stupid idea”
You must have been frozen in place for a second too much.
“Quiero que te levantes y digas cosas bonitas, Nena” (I want you to stand up at some point to tell some nice things)
“Just ask like a fucking normal person, María!”
“Lo hice, dijiste que no” (I did, you said no)
“So you made me think you wanted to ditch the whole thing?”
“Estás aquí temprano, ¿no? Tienes tiempo de escribir un buen discurso” (You’re here early, aren’t you? You have time to write something good)
The relaxing methods your new therapist drilled into you the past weeks better work, you’re really close to making your friend get married with a black eye as payback for the heart attack she got you.
“You’re so lucky I love you”, you sigh as the defender kisses your cheek and leads the way out of the room.
Apparently, you better hurry up as your outbursts pushed the schedule five minutes back what it’s supposed to - much to the wedding planner’s annoyance.
Alexia slows down her pace to walk next to you as you follow the indications given to you.
“Finally”
“What?”
“I can finally see you in this dress”, her smile is way too honest for the day you’re both about to go through, “Worth the wait”.
-
The ceremony is short and sweet. You’re not sure how María Pilar León manages to stay still for so long, but Ingrid’s hand intertwined with hers the entire time must be the main reason.
There’s some sort of light surrendering your friends. It may be the stunning yet intimate venue they choose or the Barcelona sun hitting at the perfect moment as they smile at each other. It may be the love you can feel radiating from the couple or the support and genuine excitement all the people in the room are sharing for the occasion.
Whatever it is, you’re happy to be part of it.
María and Ingrid exchange their vows with tender words and silent promises you know they’re making to each other. At some point you even have to hold on Frido’s arm, sit on your left side, as you start to cry big tears that are most definitely ruining your makeup.
Feeling Alexia’s eyes on you the entire time is not helping.
You have no idea that the wedding photographer is snapping a couple of pictures of you and the other guests in their emotional state, as per Mapi’s request. It surprises you way later when the Spanish defender posts the photo on her socials on your birthday - you block her for a month just to spite her.
When the sun sets and you manage to compose yourself a bit, the party starts and Ingrid takes it upon herself to make you lose your composure, handing you the first drink of the day.
You’re pretty sure the wedding planner hates you as he finds out you’re not only the reason why arranging seats and tables was so unnecessarily difficult, but he also has to brief you at the last minute about the little moments they planned and when you’re supposed to make your speech.
You know for sure he hates you when you tell him you actually still have to write it down so a delay in the schedule is needed. He leaves you with some paper, pen and cursed words.
It looks like everyone wants to talk to you and you find yourself the centre of attention way more times you’re comfortable with, even more than the newlyweds - much to their amusement.
A lifesaver comes in the form of Lucy Bronze, the buffer you didn’t know you needed, but you’re glad is around to help you deal with the Spanish excitement that surrounds you all over.
The English girl, who you now understand is the bonus member of the blonde squad that for some reason hunts you, is acting as your personal bodyguard since Keira is already not sober enough to be helpful.
“Please, tell me you wrote your speech”, Lucy’s eyeing your second refill of the day.
It’s an open bar, after all, you’re not letting María’s mother warm embrace and some girl you don’t remember the name of - but met maybe twice while celebrating a trophy’s win - messing with your mind more than what you’re already doing by yourself.
“I wrote a complaint and a draw of a monkey throwing shit”
“Classy, I can’t wait to see what you’ll go for”
“I told María fucking Engen-León not making me do a fucking speech”
Pages of scribbled words later, you’re back in Barcelona for your best friends’ wedding with no speech, no idea of what you’ll say and not sober enough to write down anything nice about a certain defender.
“Language, por favor”
You almost drop your glass when you feel Alexia’s hand on your back to get your attention and a teasing grin on her face. The desire to trace her lips with your finger is stronger now the first drinks are hitting.
“She can still scold you?”
“You have no idea the things she can still do to me, Bronze”, you mutter as you practically bottom down your drink.
“Can I steal you for a moment?”, she asks with a softer smile.
“I’m pretty sure the words were–”
Lucy doesn’t have time to finish her sentence as both you Alexia hit her without taking your eyes off each other. She gets the hint and leaves with a laugh.
“My date wants to say hi”
You’re pretty sure her words just triggered a malfunction in your already damaged brain. You could have been less shocked if she had asked to marry her right now and there.
“What?”
“Vien conmigo” (Just come with me)
Alexia is way too amused for your liking, but you follow her lead without real hesitation - leaving behind your empty glass and probably what’s left of your sanity.
As the two of you approach the table her family is sitting at, her hand finds a place on your back in a comforting way when you spot Eli, Alba and another tiny brunette you immediately know is about to make you cry.
The kid is too focused on her drawing to notice the two approaching, Alba nudges her, and the little girl retorts back with a hit. As soon as you are spotted, the colourful paper and the annoying woman are both forgotten.
Alexia’s little cousin, Zoe, comes at you at full speed and you’re able to welcome her into your arms fast enough just thanks to your professional athlete’s reflexes.
You hold on to her green dress as the girl jumps in your arms, too excited to see you again after more than a year to realise she’s speaking rapidly at you.
“En español, monita, por favor”, Alexia intercepts.
“¡Estás aquí!” (You’re here)
“Yeah, estoy aquí”
Alexia can’t hold back a laugh as you try to keep up with the little girl’s energy, who is set to tell you everything she has done since the last time she saw you. You were around when Zoe was barely old enough to walk properly.
Four years is a long time when you’re as young as the kid is.
The two of you were a pair who always managed to drive Alexia crazy and fill her heart with love at the same time.
“Ale me dijo que ya no vivis juntos, ahora tu juegas para Inglaterra” (Ale told me you don’t live together anymore, you play for England now)
“Juego para un equipo inglés” (I play for an english club)
“¡El equipo rojo! Pregunté Ale tu camiseta” (The red one! I asked Ale for your jersey)
“¡Ay, ¿de verdad?!” (Oh, did you really?), you notice Alexia’s blush immediately, keeping up the teasing thanks to the little girl.
You manage to calm Zoe enough to make her sit back. She’s mostly on your legs as the two of you keep talking and taking turns picking colours. All under the watchful sight of Alexia, who was instructed to sit down too by her cousin.
When the draw is finished and signed, you can feel the young mind running. The little frown in the middle of the forehead is a sight you’re way too familiar with.
“Qué está pensando, monita?” (What’s on your mind?)
“¿Estás de vuelta?” (You’re back in Barcelona?)
Alexia tries to divert the conversation, sensing her cousin is about to ask or say some things that are way too difficult to explain - despite being such easy questions. However, you smile and nod to let her know you can deal with it.
“He vuelto para Mapi’s boda y podemos celebrarlo juntos” (I’m back for Mapi’s wedding, so we can celebrate together)
“Lo sé, Ale me dijo que estarías aquí y quería saludarte” (I know, Ale told me you could be back and I wanted to say hi)
“Siento haber desaparecido, intentaré venir saludar más” (I’m sorry I disappeared, I’ll try to come say hi more when I can)
“¿Prometes?” (You promise?), Zoe holds up a tiny finger, mimicking a gesture you taught her years ago.
You wrap your pinky around hers firmly, shaking it three times. It’s another promise you’re not going to break.
“Tienes que prometerlo a Ale también, ella te echa de menos” (You have to promise Ale too, she miss you)
“Lo sé” (I know)
The way Zoe is tracing coloured lines around her drawing is a tell that she still has a lot of questions for you, probably not satisfied enough with the answers she got from Alexia.
The pair of you spent a lot of time with the kid as you always encouraged the Catalan to spend as much time as possible with her extended family too, knowing it pained her to have a little cousin who looks up at her with such admiration but not actually seeing her much.
Also, babysitting Zoe was so fun for you and an excuse to tease Alexia in so many ways you took the chance on any possible occasion.
“¿Aún la amas?” (You still love her?)
The chair you’re sitting in is strong enough to keep you still even if the entire room is spiralling, and you’re pretty sure there’s a huge hole under your expensive heels. You caught Alexia’s panicked face out of the corner of your eye too.
It takes you a moment, but when you answer Zoe’s question you’re the most sure you have ever been in the past year or so.
“Siempre la amaré” (I’ll always love her)
~
Ironically enough, the wedding planner is the one saving you from yourself and the innocent questioning of a kid.
You stand in your designated spot with a microphone in one hand and a piece of paper in the other - blank if not for the doodles you let Zoe draw on it. You will play the part, props at all.
There may be no speech planned or intention to do one in the first place, but you know what to talk about when talking about love.
After a short introduction of who you are - even if almost everyone knows you for some reason or other - and a couple of football related jokes, you manage to buy yourself enough time to find a pair of soft eyes in the crowd.
You saw María and Ingrid growing a supportive and caring relationship, you know both of them enough to describe how wonderful their love is and even landing some good jokes on Mapi’s expenses.
You know how being in love feels like enough to get some people emotional, you know how being loved feels like enough to make some other cry.
“Finally, I would like to propose a toast”, you raise your glass and wink at the wedding planner - he may have had a heart attack during a questionable part of your speech, but you definitely saw him shed a tear or two at the end.
“To Ingrid, who is one of the thoughtful human beings I have the honour to look up to in my life. You don’t even need words to let people understand your love for them, it’s the most important thing you taught us and the one I’ll try the most to remember when my mind and my mouth will fighting against each other”
The Norwegian woman looks at you with a warm smile as she raises her own glass, reaching for her wife’s hand.
“To María, who is one of the most annoying human beings I have the privilege to call family. You taught us that everyone deserves to be respected and taken care of, that you don’t even need to know someone to make them feel welcome. I’ll never forget you proved it to me the very first day we met, and I’ll keep trying to grant myself the same care you unconditionally show me”
Your friend is crying as you smile at her, trying to let her understand how much you appreciate everything she did and does for you, how much you appreciate her firm support despite her opinion on your choices.
“To everyone here, who is witnessing a celebration of love that’s never going to fade as we’ll keep it alive”
Alexia’s eyes on you make you believe your own words more than anything else.
~
As the night progresses, most of the guests are gone. The ones still standing are the closest to the couple and the ones who managed to take the most advantage of the open bar.
You’re obviously among those.
The break from dancing you treat yourself with is filled with rapid words from Ona, Lucy, Aitana and Keira, all engaged in a conversation about your performance at Arsenal and how you can do better next season.
It’s not really talk shop as they’re making fun of you and the unfortunate episode that saw you tripping on the ball while attempting a quite impressive shot outside the box.
You found your footing and the back of the net shortly after, so their amusing is quite frankly unnecessary if you can say yourself.
“Mary let that ball pass ‘cause she was laughing so much, that’s all”
“Fuck you, Bronze!”
“She’s right, I saved the video and I watch it every time I miss you”
“You’re worse than Mapi”, you don’t dignify Keira with an answer as you leave the group to refill your drink.
“Lo siento en mi corazón cuando hablas de mi” (I can feel in my heart when you’re talking about me)
Out of nowhere, María appears in front of you, and as the magician she apparently is tonight, it makes your glass disappear, all while dragging you toward the bubble of loud dancing guests.
You could be mad at her if not for the genuine laughs that are surrounding you, making you miss those girls but convincing you to enjoy this occasion even more.
“Gracias por hoy, Nena” (Thank you for today)
“Estoy tan feliz por ti” (I’m so happy for you)
You don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the beautiful day you’re having or the fact your best friends just got married and you couldn’t be happier for them, but you sense this is an emotional moment for the two of you.
The Spaniard holds you in her arms firmly, whispering barely loud enough for you to hear, “I want you to be happy too”
“I’m getting there”
The moment ends when the soft smiles on both your faces turn into grins and then open laughs as you start getting loose around all your friends.
You accept Jana’s hand gracefully as she drags you between her and Claudia, the two dancing as no one is watching and taking you down in a mindless movement of arms and hair.
“Still no rhythm at all”
You’re sure you’re drunk enough to imagine Alexia’s hands on your waist as she gets closer to make fun of you.
To be fair, out of the two of you, the Catalan is the one with the worst moves. She is just lucky to be incredibly sexy as she dances.
“You were sober enough to remember that night out after our first Champions League”
“¡Ajá, cállate! Someone tripped me”
“Yeah, your own feet”
The music is loud and the bodies around move in a way that you have to stay basically pressed on her to keep the teasing conversation going.
At least that’s what you tell yourself as you grip her arm to let a carefree laugh out.
“You were sober enough to kiss me that same night, what does that say about you?”
“That I have the worst timing ever!”
You mean nothing but the truth, Alexia knows and she keeps you close despite your friends trying to involve you in a group dance - the two of you too wrapped in your own bubble to notice.
Keira does though and she openly calls you out on your behaviour, reminding you this may not be the best time or place to dance with your ex girlfriend as this is your own wedding.
~
The party slows down late in the evening, the last guests bidding their goodbyes and congratulating the happy couple once again.
You’re next to María as she hugs Alba - Eli and Zoe declared the night over a while ago. The defender’s hair is messed up, and a thin sheet of sweat from the dancing and the emotion of the day is covering her forehead. She never looked better.
“When are you leaving?”, the younger girl asks when is your turn to hug her.
“I’ll stay for a couple of days, I planned the off-season under the Italian sun”
“¡Vale!, you can come at dinner one of those”
“I’ll see what I can do”, you smile as you lightly push Alba and her knowing smirk away.
When you admit the day is officially over for you too, María and Ingrid both wrap you in a tight embrace to shower you with kisses and rapid words of gratitude in three different languages you’re way too tired to even try to understand.
At least you can tell they’re happy about your speech.
“I can take you to your hotel”
“You keep offering me rides, you sure you’re not thinking of a career change?”
“I don’t see myself getting a taxi license anytime soon”, Alexia’s attempt at a serious tone is making you giggle way too much for such a simple joke.
The walk toward her car is a silent one and it doesn’t turn uncomfortable when you get cosy in the passenger seat, taking your heels off with a sigh of relief.
The Catalan smiles as she remembers you tend to drop your manners when happily exhausted.
You look at her changing her shoes, a pair of sneakers always in the car for a safe ride, and you keep your eyes on her as she connects her phone to select a playlist.
It’s a ten minute ride at best, but she has not asked where you’re staying, and you’re too curious to find out what she’s planning to point it out.
You’re content and tired enough to admit every minute more you get to spend with Alexia is a win in your book.
She’s the one breaking the silence, turning the volume down a bit and keeping her gaze on the street even if the traffic light in front of you is glowing her features bright red.
“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable with Zoe”
“I was happy to see her again, she’s getting so tall”
“Yeah”
“Lo siento” (I’m sorry)
Leaving Barcelona meant leaving Alexia, but it was your choice.
And it was your choice to leave every single one who reminds you of her too. Ignoring your friends and finding excuses to not face the consequences of your disappearing. Avoiding Eli and Alba’s calls, too ashamed of the pain you inflicted on the most important person in their life.
It was all your choice.
“We broke up, I didn’t expect you to keep in touch with my family”
“You didn’t expect me to break up with you in the first place”
Alexia turns to look at you for the first time since the ride started, no one behind you calling out to move as the light turns from red to green to red again.
“I can be held accountable for my own choices, Alexia”, you nod at her as she restarts the car to a still unknown destination.
“I was honest with Zoe”
“Lo sé”
“Tú eres mi corazón, te amaré por siempre” (You’re my heart, I will always love you)
“Lo sé”
A full moon high in the dark sky, the view from your windows is getting unfamiliar, but the woman next to you seems to know exactly where she’s going. The pace she’s keeping is slow enough to calm your nerves but fast enough to keep you awake.
There are so many things you want to say, so many useless apologies and unnecessary confessions on the tip of your tongue.
It could be so much easier if she’d hate you.
“I knew you would leave”
“What?”
“I knew you would leave, I knew you found the ring”
Her words manage to steal the breath from your lungs and stop the rhythm of your heart, you go from feeling nothing to everything in a split second. The music is suddenly too loud, the fancy car is crushing on you, and your own body is failing to respond to your commands.
Alexia immediately notices your distress, stopping on the side of the road and lowering your window to let the fresh night air hit your face. She wants to touch you, to ground you as she learned to do, but she’s aware she may make things worse.
You reach for her hand, holding on to her as a lifeline and she does everything she needs to to take you back.
“Sorry, I didn’t see that coming”, you say when you’re ready to think properly again, your attempt to joke landing just because Alexia knows you well enough to understand what you need right now.
“Yo–”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“¿Por qué no lo hiciste tú?” (Why didn’t you?)
The million dollar question, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you let her know? Why didn’t you just talk with her about your feelings and your fears?
You pay your therapist enough to answer those questions for you.
“I don’t think it could have changed anything”
“You couldn’t know”
“And I’ll never, it’s all done now”
You need her to hate you, you need her to hate you and not want to do anything with you ever again.
You need her to leave you.
Not like you left Barcelona, you need her to leave you behind and move on. It’d be so much easier.
Instead, you’re both moving on and you both are still moving in the same direction.
“You would have said sí”, it’s not a question.
“Of course”
You realise you’re still holding on to her just when the Catalan squeezes your hand three times, keeping you grounded and keeping herself together. Your confirmation is both unnecessary and needed, hurting and comforting.
“I want you to love yourself as much as I do”
“I’m trying”
It’s a whisper, it’s a confession you’re not sure you’re ready to hear yourself.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready”
“Alexia, no–”
“Sí”, she drops your hand just to firmly hold your face, guiding your gaze and your tears filled eyes on hers, “I’ll be here when you’re ready, here in Barcelona or wherever here will mean for us”
“I can’t ask you that”
“You’re not asking”
Tears are falling freely now, her thumb tracing your flushed cheeks and your fists holding desperately on her dress. The position you both are in is uncomfortable, the air from the open window tickles your neck, and Alexia’s honesty is crushing your heart, but you never felt better.
“I know you could do whatever I ask, stay in Barcelona or marry me. I need you to know I could do whatever you ask too”
“Then we’re stuck”
“No, we’re both moving”
“You wanna see where we end up?”
“Wherever it will be, we’ll find each other”
replay to start from track 1 >
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#mapi leon x reader#leah williamson x reader#barcelona femini x reader#now playing universe#woso#my wo(rd)so#here we go again#last track for this one#what a journey#thank you all#as always if you see a mistake#no you dont
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Hi! I don't remember if there was such a question / answer but what kind of foreplay does each members ateez have before sex, how will everything begin and what could be the reason / atmosphere for this?)
I finally have the time to answer this question IN detail because a few members are similar to each other and others are quite different.
Disclaimer: This analysis is for delusional purposes only and is entirely theoretical and based on astrology.
Ateez Members And Foreplay:
Kim Hongjoong:
His Scorpio Venus/Virgo Mars means he LOVES foreplay and he has high stamina so he likes to take his time and show you his love.
The Scorpio stellium means his FEELINGS have such a huge impact on how everything begins, there will be times where he's desperate and just yearns for your touch.
'I can't hold back tonight angel, I need you right now'
And there will be times where he's in the mood to tease and taunt, edging you with his fingers and tongue, enjoying your brow sweat and thighs tighten- the power he would feel.
'Uh-uh, if you keep talking to me like that- then neither of us will be happy tonight'.
Park Seonghwa:
Aquarius Venus/Aries Mars = what is foreplay?
Seonghwa's sex drive is THROUGH THE ROOF (one of the highest in the group) and so he's just ready to go all the time and in any place.
You're on the couch watching Netflix and a sex scene comes on?
He'll bend you over the couch and take you right there and then.
You're wearing his favourite pair of stockings and heels?
He will fuck you in those pair of heels, regardless of whether you're in public or in the privacy of your own home.
So foreplay most of the time will be hasty because the end game is you.
Jeong Yunho:
Soft, sweet...until he's bored.
Yunho and his Taurus Venus/Scorpio Mars- like Hongjoong has a fluctuating sex drive and it would depend on the energy of the moment.
If you're in a CNC scene (which I have mentioned is a strong kink of Yunho) then foreplay will involve picking you up, pinning you down, holding your body to him and using you as he pleases.
'Just let me have you now princess and I'll take care of you later'
But- if he's in a playful and light-hearted mood...then foreplay will just be cute kisses, soft hands down your body, light teasing and muffled giggles.
'What? I just love kissing you princess, your moans and giggles are so cute, I could listen to them all day'.
Kang Yeosang:
Yeosang's Leo Venus and Libra Mars indicates a high sex drive but slow momentum so his form of foreplay could be such a tiny action at first- a kiss on your cheek...brushing your hair away from your face.
And then the more eager he becomes, the more dominant his actions become and he'll pull you on top of him, groping your arse and voice deepening, his grip tightening.
His Libra Mars indicates cowgirl or any position where you're on top is what he loves- not because he's submissive but because he loves seeing your tits bounce in his face and sweat beading down your neck.
'My precious doll, you're such a cute angel for me, you're beautiful, you're gorgeous...I don't know what else to say'...
Choi San:
San and his Leo Venus/Scorpio Mars means there is no reason for him to have sex, if he gets an urge or you have an urge- then that's enough for him to get hot and heavy and crave you under him.
With his Gemini Moon however...BANTER!!! If you're in a public area..he might just whisper in your ear or send you a sneaky text message so you're all pent-up and needy when you're alone with him.
'I was just talking to someone else and all I could think about was how much I wanted to rip that dress off and bury my head between your legs.'
Song Mingi:
Is the type to wait for you to make the first move but would hint and give off little whines and whimpers when he's feeling needy.
Imagine him rolling his hips against yours when he's spooning you in the dead of night or pulling your body towards him and holding him against you with his large, broad hands.
His Virgo Venus in retrograde makes him prone to anxiety and over-thinking in times of intimacy and he has a Cancer Mercury so imagine less degradation and more mewling.
'You feel so good baby ple-eeease...can I? I won't be long...you're just so warm and soft and I'll do all the work, I just want to feel you right now'
Jung Wooyoung:
Have you met Wooyoung? His Sagittarius Sun and Scorpio Mercury means he'd be so matter of fact with foreplay- it could come across as crude and shocking at times because he would be so matter of fact.
He would be nestled against you on the couch and gently rubbing your back as you're watching Netflix, his hands becoming more suggestive and grabby.
'I'm boooored- let's fuck right now, I'll even eat you out first because I want something fun to do'.
Choi Jongho:
Jongho is always difficult for me to explore in a verbal manner because I feel a lot of his communication and preference would be non-verbal and based on pure intuition.
His observant behaviour would easily notice your slumped demeanour if you've had a hard day at work or life is a struggle right now.
Would carry you bridal style to the bedroom and gaze at you lovingly, his touches soft and sweet, his treatment of you as light as a feather.
'Honey, let me help you forget about your day, just let go for me and I'll make it all better for you'.
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how Zayne from Love and Deepspace will react when he finds out you're on your period..
You get a call from the Akso Hospital and are suddenly requested to pay a visit.
You don't understand what's happening but leave your work desk all the same.
The moment you arrive and speak to the receptionist, she informs that you have a check-up scheduled with Dr. Zayne for today.
You're slightly surprised and confused because despite being a little messy, you do keep up with your own schedule, and you clearly don't remember having any such check-ups.
Regardless, you head towards Zayne’s office.
[moments later]
You give a knock on the door to announce your arrival before walking in.
Zayne is already putting down the documents in his hands and by the time you reach his desk, he's scrutinizing you, as if searching for any signs of something off with you.
“What is it?” You ask in frustration. There's a load of mission reports waiting at your work desk that you need to finish and submit this week, and frankly you don't have much time right now.
Zayne merely raises a brow as if offended by your curt tone.
“Sit.” He commands.
You deliberately sigh loudly before taking a seat. “I don't have any check-ups today, Zayne. Why did you call me?”
“Correct me if I am wrong but it must be the second day of your menstrual cycle?” He states so calmly as if making an absurd remark about the weather.
You're quite mortified for a moment. But then mortification is replaced by annoyance. Doctor or not, your periods are your problem and Zayne isn't supposed to comment on how you deal with them.
You narrow your eyes at him. “That’s..none of your business.”
“It is since your captain called up.” Zayne supplies calmly.
“Jenna?” You're confused. Why would she?
“She informed me about your not so peaceful conversation with a guy from the Data Analysis Department.” He speaks, his lips slowly curving up into a smirk.
“Nero was the one who wouldn't shut up!” You tell him.
“And she also informed me how you choked the life out of your coffee mug using your evol. That's a misconduct if I've ever heard of it.”
Okay misusing your evol wasn't exactly right. But crumbling your mug with it did help with the stomach cramps. Even if just a teensy bit.
By this point you’re gripping the armrests of the chair a little too tightly. His knowing smirk isn't helping either. Combining all that with your mood swings enrages you even more.
But before you can lash out at him. Give him the same treatment you gave Nero and your coffee mug. Say something that you'll definitely regret later on, he leaves his chair and comes to stand right in front of you.
“Take the rest of the day off.” He says. Neither a friendly suggestion nor a doctor's advice. Just an outright order. And you don't like that.
“I can’t. I have reports to finish.”
He sighs before fishing something out from one of his desk drawers. Then, he pours a glass of water and comes back to you, offering the said glass along with a pill in his other hand.
You immediately recognize the painkiller and shake your head. “I don't take those.”
“You should.” He says emphatically, nudging the items towards you.
“Absolutely not!” You feel your voice crack a little. You have a lot of work left to do. You really need to get going.
But Zayne isn't deterred by your words. He steps even closer, and speaks in a softer tone. The same one that he uses only on rare occasions. When he's being earnest to you.
“Not taking the painkillers doesn't make you stronger than the rest of the women in the world.” He puts the glass in your hand, and offers the pill again. “You must acknowledge your pain, and work to overcome it in the most efficient ways.”
You bite your lip because he's only being reasonable. You must look like an absolute brat to him.
“Fine.” Your voice comes out a little shaky from holding back your tears as you accept the pill and swallow it.
“Good girl.” He pats your head. “Now let’s get you home.”
You agree to take the remaining day off but he doesn’t need to waste anymore time on you. He must realize that he has his own share of work to do. And you are a responsible adult. You can’t always rely on him. You can do things on your own despite the hardships.
“I can go by myself.” You mumble.
“I know. But let me help. I have the right to help you.”
“You have the right to?” Once more, annoyance begins flaring up in your head. “On what account? Being my personal physician!?”
He smiles softly. Genuinely. “On account of being your friend.”
His admission stuns you into silence and you avert your gaze.
How can he be so kind? He's being so unfair! Now you look even worse of a brat.
You feel ashamed for behaving the way you did.
“Come on.” He beckons, offering a hand.
You hesitate for a moment before putting your own palm into his bigger one.
His fingers curl around your wrist instead and he tugs you forward, helping you stand, his arm now coming to wrap around your shoulder.
“Let’s go.”
He's already directing you out of the room and locking its door when you murmur. “Zayne?”
“What is it?” He asks as he tucks away his glasses into the pocket of his coat.
“Sorry for getting mad at you.”
He scoffs. “It’s understandable in your current predicament.”
You watch him fish out his car keys and speak again. “No seriously. Thank you for everything you do. You're more than just a friend.”
He cocks his head to the side but you still catch him smiling wide this time. “The feeling is mutual.”
Here it is! Hope y'all like it. I'm still new to writing for Love and Deepspace so bear with me 🥹
Rafayel version coming soon!
AND THANK YOU FOR READING ♡
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