#ignore how there were some missing letter of the word i mean in the tag and was trying to hold my giggle

[lillsisamarshmallow]

Fair day (12)

Summary: After Jimin finds the notes, Y/n explains to them why she hid them. With everyone feeling down, Y/n decides they should all use a break, and so they head out to the local fair to have some fun. Y/n tried not to think about the menacing letters being slid under her door, but what if someone knew who was sending the notes all along?

Word count: 6.5k

Warnings: None? Let me know if I missed any!

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"So..."

The room held a slightly awkward silence as we all were gathered in the lounge room, the boys were standing around and some of them were seated on the couch whilst I was standing in the middle of the room, all eyes were on me, waiting for an explanation to the notes, the tension was thick and I could feel the anxiety seeping through me, crawling up my neck and wrapping itself around my throat, my mouth dried and my throat closed up as I tried to swallow.

"Y/n, what’s going on?" Namjoon said while looking at me, concern laced in his deep voice. I glanced away slightly, trying to avoid eye contact as I wasn't sure how to explain myself. 

"Well…." I began, trying to slightly laugh it off before ultimately giving up and just blurting out the situation. They’d already seen the notes and there was no way I could sugar coat such a thing. "Someone, I'm not sure who, has been sliding these weird notes into the apartment.” I started, shortly pausing before continuing. “I wasn't going to tell you at first because I thought it was just some silly joke or something, I didn't think it was serious or anything.

I moved my hands up to my face and rubbed it before I kept explaining. "A few weeks ago, they started getting worse and I just wasn't sure how to tell you guys about it. I guess I hoped that if I ignored it long enough it would go away.” I bit my lip as I realised how foolish of a thought that was and how I probably should have told them in the first place what had been happening. “I didn't mean to hide things from you all, I just didn't want you to get hurt by what they said and I didnt want you all to worry.” 

The room stayed silent as I finished explaining to them the situation and why I didn't tell them. I looked down into my hands, my eyes tracing the slightly darker lines that ran through them, because I knew if I looked up my eyes would just start darting around the room, not being sure where to land their focus. The silence isn't awkward but there was a sense of tension lingering in the air, as we waited to see who would break the silence.

"It’s alright." I dragged my eyes up from my hands and looked in the direction Jin's voice had come from, he stood up as he took a few steps closer to me. "You did it because you didn't want us to get hurt or become worried. It’s okay Y/n.” I wrapped my arms around him as I took a step forward and I felt his hands press into my back as he gave me an affirming squeeze, assuring me that everything was okay. I let out a shaky breath as I allowed my nerves to calm down slightly, they didn't hate me, but this person would keep sending those notes and I was beginning to get worried that it might escalate, Seoyeon’s words had really affected me, what if they do find a way into the apartment? What if this becomes more than just idle threats? My mind was pulled back into the current reality as I saw someone take a step closer to me before Yoongi's voice filled my ears. 

“Have you tried talking to the building owners?” He asks carefully. “Surely this isn't something they can just let happen, right?”

I pulled away from Jin's chest and wiped the top of my nose on the back of my hand. “They won’t do anything unless I can give them some proof of who it might be.” Seoyeon had convinced me to call the building a few days ago, they had basically told us that if there isn't any concrete evidence that I can give them against someone then there was nothing they could do. I remembered right after he said that, Seoyeon had snatched the phone from me and berated the man on the other side for how stupid of a policy it was.

“I’m sorry, I know that I should have told you guys the first time that it had happened, maybe then we could have stopped them or something…” I uttered, a sudden wave of guilt crashing over me. If I had told them could we have stopped it? Was it my fault that the notes started escalating? I had to push down the negative thoughts otherwise I knew that they would cloud my mind and consume my being. I swallowed the sudden lump that formed in my throat as my mouth seemed to run dry again and I was stuck on what to say.

“Y/n, it's not your fault.” Yoongi declared, as though he knew exactly how I was feeling inside. ”You did what you thought was best, and we all would've done the same.” He glanced around at the others as I followed his eyes, everyone was giving me a reassuring smile while I did my best to return it. 

“But from now on, how about no more secrets, we'll deal with it together?” Hoseok said from his position on the couch.

“Yeah, I'd like that.” I spoke softly, agreeing with what Hoseok had said. Yoongi gave me a pat on the shoulder before he moved to go sit back down on the couch between the fox and dog hybrid, Jin waited until I moved before he went back to where he was standing before.

I walked over to a spare spot of the couch and flopped myself down onto it with more force than I intended, causing the air to be knocked out of my lungs. I coughed a few times, gaining back my breath. I leaned my head onto the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling. This is so frustrating! I thought to myself as I grumbled in annoyance before I just had to let some of the thoughts that were whirling in my head out.

"It’s not like you guys have done anything bad to anyone, we’re barely even out of the apartment, and when we are we're just at work.” I could hear the boys all making various hums and agreeing with what I said, yet none of them seemed surprised and something was telling me this wasn't the first time something like this had happened, which made my heart break to think that someone threatening them with no motive was normal. For as long as the boys had been staying with me, I really didn't know that much about them. Not their past, not how they had ended up living on the streets, not why they did not trust humans, or how they even found each other. I don't know if it was because they didn't want to share or because I just never asked. The silence continued to sit in the room and the mood was down and we all sat on the couch.

"You know what?" I suddenly said as I swung myself back before hopping off the couch and turning to the boys. "Rather than staying here all day moping around, let's go do something fun! We can go out as a group, all we’ve done is work for the past week, let's take a day and go do something we'll enjoy and get our minds off of this... thing." I said enthusiastically while making confusing hand gestures at the notes that sat ominously on the coffee table next to me.

The boys all looked at me confused at first before their eyes lit up at the mention of going to do something fun, it was true, pretty much since I had brought the boys home, they had all been cooped up in the apartment or helping me out at the café.

“I overheard someone talking about a festival in town, maybe we could go there?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah, the Carolfarm Festival is on for the next few days so we could go there!” I said, remembering that the local festival that comes a few times a year was in fact in town right now, but as I glanced out the window, I remembered that it was already night. “I mean, it’s a bit late right now, but we could definitely go tomorrow. Would you all want to go?”

A chorus of cheers erupted as everyone's mood had perked up at the idea of having a day out, after making the final decision of going and what time we would leave everyone began to slowly wander off to their own areas so we could have a good night's rest before tomorrow.

I looked up at the large entrance sign in front of me, ‘Carolfarm Festival’. I came here a lot as a kid, but I hadn’t been here recently. All the boys stayed behind me as I made my way to the ticket booth and purchased the 8 adult passes we needed. I signalled for the boys to follow me as I made my way past the gates and into the fairground.

The wind was blowing cold, making a shiver run down my spine. Maybe I should’ve worn something warmer? I brushed the thought as I looked around me. The trees were painted a beautiful pattern of yellows, oranges, reds, and browns, and the ground below them was littered with the colourful falling leaves, the air had a scent of popcorn, cinnamon, and various other fair food smells flowing through it, the chatter and cheering of people winning games and hanging out with their friends and family filled my ears.

The gravel crumbled under my shoes as I walked forwards into a more open area, the centre in front of us was a raised garden with flowers around the edges and a grassy area in the centre, decorated around it was many pumpkins of all shapes and sizes and even colours, some were even carved out to make faces and other various patterns, I turned on my heels to face the boys behind me.

“So, what’s the game plan?” I asked them. “What do we want to do first? Or do we want to split up?”

“I want to get something to eat first.”

“I want to ride the roller coaster!”

A chorus of agreements for both ideas rang through the area as everyone said which they’d prefer, and some of us stayed quiet, being okay with either option.

“Oh, okay, we should split into 2 groups then, so…” I began tapping my chin, trying to make sure I got everything right and split us into even groups. “I’ll go with Jungkook to the roller coaster, Jin, you can take Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jimin with you to get something to eat, and Hoseok and Yoongi can come with me and Jungkook?”

Everyone seemed to nod in agreement at the idea before everyone shuffled around a bit to stand on the correct side. “Don't get lost, don’t cause any trouble, and we’ll meet up at the south end of the fairgrounds later. Jin, I trust you can look after them.” I smiled.

Jin gave me a salute before both groups turned and went their separate ways, we made our way over to the roller coaster, I wasn’t the biggest fan, but this didn’t seem too bad so it was okay, I noticed Hoseok looked slightly nervous, but I just chalked it up to being around so many people so I made an effort to stand closer to him to hopefully calm him down.

It didn’t take long for us to make our way around, seeing some things that looked fun and deciding we would have to come back to it later, Jungkook seemed to want to play every game they had, but thankfully I had come prepared with many tokens and tickets, the line to the coaster was long so I struck up a conversation while we waited.

“Have you guys been here before?” I asked the boys as we shuffled slightly further down the line.

“Not this one, but I’ve been to similar ones.” Jungkook responded, I turned to Yoongi and Hoseok who both said that they hadn’t been before.

“Well, we’ll have to get some iconic fair food then! I really want a dagwood dog and some churros.” I said excitedly thinking of all the different foods they had here, it had been a while since I was only able to have such food here.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows before repeating to me. “Dagwood dog?”

“Yeah, it’s like a hot dog with batter on it, and some tomato sauce. They’re really good, you can try some of mine since you haven't had one before.” I beamed while shuffling down the line again, Yoongi smiled back at me before turning to the others again. The small talk lasted up until we made it to the start of the line, we were waiting for the last passengers to come back so we could get into our cart.

“Who’s going to sit where?” Jungkook asked.

“I don’t mind sitting in the back, you seem to like the roller coaster, Kook, so you can sit in the front.” I said to him, he gave me one of his bunny smiles as we decided where we would sit. Since we were next in line we had the joy of the first seats, so Jungkook and Yoongi were going to share the first row and me and Hoseok were going to sit right behind them.

As they opened the gate for us to board, I made my way to the second row before sitting down and sliding over on the joint seat, Hoseok slid himself in beside me and Jungkook and Yoongi sat right in front of us. The seats were small, so we were squished together, our hips pressing against each other. The worker came and put the safety railing down and started up the coaster, we started moving slowly before entering a tunnel and going uphill.

“Do you like roller coasters Y/n” A voice said from beside me, I couldn't see his face due to the darkness, so I wasn’t sure if he was looking at me, but it was definitely Hobi speaking.

“I don’t mind them usually.” I responded as the cart kept climbing up higher and higher, surely reaching the top soon. “Do you like them?”

“No, not really, I actually hate them.”

“Wait, what-” My words were cut off and formed into a scream as the cart started dropping down, we emerged into the light, and I could feel the wind harshly pushing my hair back and making me squint. The cold air sent shivers down my spine as it pushed into my skin. I turned to Hobi after his confession of not liking the roller coaster and to see his very warped face as he screamed his lungs out.

I tried to smile at the funny sight, but the cart suddenly made a hard turn jolting me forwards before heading upwards really fast. The rough movement of the carriage shook me about and I reached to hold onto something so I felt more secure. While going up the cart was slower and I had time to catch my breath, if it weren’t for the roller coaster, this would be a great view. I turned to my side to see the entire festival below us. Maybe I can spot the others? Just as I tried to find them amongst all the ant-like figures below, the cart came to a very slow speed, I turned around slightly confused, before the cart started dropping us again at insane speeds, making me scream again.

The cart continued to take us up and down, jolting us back and forth, side to side, I swear it went upside down at one point, while me and Hobi were screaming out hearts out, Jungkook was laughing so much that you’d think he was clinically insane, meanwhile Yoongi, had kept switching between screaming like me and Hobi, to laughing along with Jungkook. I had never felt so much relief when the cart finally came to a stop, as soon as the safety bar was lifted, I scrambled my way out the seat after Hobi on onto the stage, I held one hand to my chest and tightly gripped my bag in the other as I tried to calm my racing heart and Hobi seemed to do the same as he stood beside me, after I few seconds I stood up straight before patting myself down and attempting to fix my hair. “Phew, I’m still alive.” I half joked.

Laughter seemed to rip through the air as I turned away from Hobi and over to the cart, I saw Jungkook and Yoongi make their way to us, Jungkook was laughing, and Yoongi was giggling. “You guys looked so funny.” Jungkook said while pointing at us before he started clapping his hands together in amusement.

“Yeah, Yeah, never again will I just get on a roller coaster without checking it out first.” Hobi grumbled and we all made our way down the stairs to the boarding post form, we made our way outside the coaster area before stopping to recollect ourselves, mostly me and Hobi.

“Oh my, just give me a second.” I said while leaning on the fence slightly. “Got to give my stomach time to return to its normal position.”

I heard them all giggle at what I said before I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see Yoongi standing next to me.

“Still dizzy?”

“Eh, a bit. I’ll be fine though.” I responded to him. “Where to next?”

“Are we ready to meet up with the others?”

"Yeah, we can head over that way."

We arrived at the south end of the festival to see the others standing around a corner next to a hedge wall.

“How’d the food go?”

“We got some hot chips to share and figured we could all go back as a group later on.” Jin explained to me. “How’d the roller coaster go?”

“It went fine-”

“Y/n and Hobi were screaming so loud!” Jungkook interrupted me as he squeezed his way into the conversation. “You should have seen their faces too!”

“Yah!”

I heard everyone start laughing at what Jungkook said, and I knew I couldn’t deny it because they probably heard us too. “I guess Hobi’s face was pretty funny.” I snorted at remembering the face he made when we went down the roller coaster.

“You too Y/n!” Hobi said back to me, jagging me in the ribs with his elbow, we all started laughing at it, before we started making our way towards the carnival games that were littered around the grounds between each major attraction.

The first booth we came across happened to be a basketball one where you had to throw the ball into the hoop which was situated up high and quite far away from the standing mark on the ground. Jungkook and Jimin entered this first one with the tickets I got them, Jungkook got really close, but the ball always seemed to be slightly too far on one side of the hoop.

The boys whined at their loss and Jungkook blamed it on Jimin’s height which made me laugh.

"This game is rigged! It's impossible!" Jungkook whined as he lost his second round and dragged himself back over. "I wanted to win." He sulked and leaned his head on Taehyung's shoulder who then raised his hand to pet the bunny hybrid's hair in a soothing way.

I giggled at his antics and looked back over at the stand where I saw Yoongi passing the guy a token and exchanging it for a ball. He moved over to the little circle that was drawn in the dirt. He turned slightly as he positioned the ball in his hands before aiming. He shot the ball towards the hoop, and it went in. I cheered for him, the first of us to win a game as the guy walked over to him and asked him which prize he wanted.

"What!"

I turned to see Jungkook looking in disbelief at the cat hybrid. I giggled at the utter shock on his face before it was replaced with a pout. I turned back to Yoongi as he came over holding his prize, a large stuffed bear, he held on his side as he made his way back to the group.

"Hmmpf!" Jungkook huffed as he dramatically turned away from Yoongi who was now standing next to me. I rolled my eyes at him and his antics.

"You can have it, Kook." Yoongi said giggling while holding the bear out to Kookie's back. He huffed again, rejecting the prize. "Okay then, here you go Y/n." Yoongi suddenly turned to me and held out to me. I took it in my hands and turned it so I could see its face. It was a simple brown bear with typical black eyes and a cute black button nose, its fur was so soft, and it was so cute, wrapped around its body was a small patch work jacket which tied it all together.

"Aww, thanks Yoongi. It’s so cute!" I blushed as I moved the bear to wrap my arms around it so I could carry it better. Yoongi smiled at me before we both looked over at Jungkook as he spun around.

"W-what? No, you can't give it to her." He proclaimed before reaching out to grab the bear. "I want it."

"No, it's mine. Yoongi gave it to me because I'm his favourite." I said jokingly and sticking my tongue out at the boy as I took a step back to keep the bear from his grabby hands and stood next to Yoongi now. Jungkook pouted as he looked over at me and gave me his best puppy eyes.

I almost gave in to his cute face, but I had to stay strong, even when faced with puppy eyes from the hybrid. I stood my ground and held onto the bear tighter while lifting it up closer to my face and nuzzling into it.

“Y/n!” He whined, and shuffled closer to me, but before he could reach for it Yoongi and I moved at the same time, resulting in him standing right in front of me, protecting me from a sulking bunny boy.

“C’mon Kook, you can win another game and get your own prize.” Yoongi tried to mediate, but as he was calming down Jungkook I stuck my head out to side so he could see me and stuck my tongue out playfully teasing him. I heard the others giggling at our antics as we eventually made our way to the next booth.

One of the stands we came across happened to do apple bobbing and we all entered as a group to see who would win between. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get an apple on my turn, Jimin and Hobi hadn't gotten apples either, it was way harder than it looked. Now Taehyung was in the middle of bobbing as we all stood around waiting to see if he’d emerge with one of the red or green apples from the barrels. It didn't take long before his head flung out of the barrel, a green apple clutched between his teeth, he flipped his wet hair back and out of his face, water droplets falling over him and behind him, my breath caught in my throat, and I almost dropped the face towels that the organiser lady had given to me.

The others cheered him on before Jungkook started his turn and Taehyung made his way over to me, I snapped out of my trace as he approached me, apple still being held tightly between his teeth, he tried to give me a smile, but it looked really silly with the giant green apple still in his mouth. I giggle at his goofiness as I look at him, his wet hair was flicked up out of his eyes but a few stray pieces fell down and the wet hair stuck to his forehead, water droplets sat on his skin, I followed them down his neck to his chest which rose and fell deeply due to his heavier breathing than normal  from holding his breath. I heard a huff of amusement so I looked back up and the panther hybrid, his dark brown eyes looking down at me as we stood in silence for a second, the apple now in his hand as he held my gaze, he smirked and gestured down to the towels I was holding.

Sucking in a breath through my teeth and mentally cursing at myself, I quickly grabbed a towel and held it up to him trying to not think about how I was just caught gawking at him. I could feel my face warming but I did my best to ignore it. He just kept looking at me and didn't reach for the towel, I was confused until I caught on to what he was doing. I sighed and looked away before meeting his eyes again and smiling, I lifted the face towel up to his face and began to dab away to water as he made an over exaggerated face as though I was applying makeup to him, I giggled as I kept dabbing the water off from his face and neck before using the whole towel to rub it over his head to get most of his hair dry so it wouldn't drip for the rest of the night. I tousled his slightly damned hair before moving my hand to sit on top of the other face towels. 

By the time I was done, Jungkook had finished his turn and had also gotten himself an apple, he held his hand out gesturing me to throw a towel at him, which I did, after he dried off his face and hair, we continued to make our way around the fair and compete in more games and stalls before stopping to get some food. 

“Thank you!” I said to the lady that had served me the food from the high standing van, I passed Jimin his churro and hotdog, as we turned around and made our way to the centre of the food area. We didn't tell the others where to meet up and had just hoped fate was on our side and we’d find each other somehow, thankfully I was right as soon enough we saw Yoongi, Hobi and Kook looking around for the others too.

Eventually, after we had all gotten our food, we found a big enough picnic blanket that was set out in a field with some others. It was also conveniently further away from other blankets, so we didn't have to worry about people being rude.

We all took a seat down on the red and white chequered picnic blanket, I sat with my legs folded next to me on my right, just barely on the end of the picnic blanket, Yoongi sat to my left and across from me was Jimin who sat cross legged, in the middle of us all was a basket of friend flowers which was already here and some of the foods we had bought to share. Everyone had some type of fair food, somehow Jungkook must have convinced Yoongi to get him the biggest stick of cotton candy that they sold, it was larger than his head and I could barely see him behind it, Hobi had gotten a hamburger and sprite, which he seemed to be enjoying, I looked over to Yoongi who was next to me, he had just a box of chips, which seemed to be more of a group plate.

“Here!” I said as I leaned over to Yoongi while holding out my dagwood dog to him for him to try as I had promised I would, I smiled at him as he hesitantly reached for it in my hand. I pushed it closer to him, letting him know that it was okay that he was having the first bite, the first bite was always the best anyways. His hand brushed mine as he grabbed it out of my hand, he brought it to his mouth and took a bite from the top. The tomato sauce coated over his lips, looking like a vibrant but oddly thick lip gloss before he stuck his tongue out and licked over them, taking the red sauce into his mouth. He seemed to think on it for a bit before giving me an approving nod. I smiled, happy to know that he enjoyed such an iconic food.

We sat in the blanket, eating and talking as the sunset behind the corn field, making the sky explode to vibrant hues of orange, yellow, and pink, it was beautiful, I kept passing the food back between Yoongi and I and we all chatted together, it was nice to have such a relaxed day, no work, no stress, no notes.

At some point Jungkook started telling a reenactment of something that had happened earlier, moving his hands around to make it more ‘exciting’, unfortunately for him, he threw his arms out to the side at the wrong time as he accidentally hit Jin in the face with his hand and smashed his half eaten cotton candy into Jimin’s hair, he seemed to instantly understand how much trouble he was in as he wasted no time in jumping up and taking a few steps back from the blanket.

“Yah!”

“I’m sorry, Hyung!” He apologised whilst laughing at Jin who had turned to face him, mouth still full of his food, and started getting up.

Jungkook held his hand out, attempting to calm the older man, but Jin was having none of it as he began to chase Kookie around whilst yelling at him. We started laughing at their silly antics as we watched the eldest chase the youngest around in front of the corn field. I turned back to Jimin only to see him facing down whilst pulling his hair forwards in an attempt to see it.

“Argh!” He huffed out as he kept playing with his hair, seeing he was frustrated I crawled my way across the blanket to him to help him out.

“What’s wrong”

“Kook got his stupid cotton candy in my hair.” He sulked, before quickly reaching back to grab his ear and he started feeling that too, checking for any more of the sugary menace. I reached out and took his ear out of his hand as I moved to sit on his thigh, so I could see better. He seemed to realise what I was doing so he leaned his head towards me so I could see better. Yep, there is definitely more cotton candy stuck to his ear.

“C’mon, let's go see if we can clean this up somewhere” I said whilst standing up and glancing around, hoping to spot a water fountain or something before dusting off my hands, Jimin followed suit and took a few steps back, I let the others know where we were going and that they should start packing up, but they were already looking at us, more like staring. I told them to start putting away the rubbish and all, as well as making sure that Jin didn't murder the poor bunny hybrid.

I walked with Jimin while holding his hand over to a small water fountain with drinking water pouring out, Jimin crouched down slightly so the water could reach his head and we both simultaneously started to get his hair and ear wet and started getting out the cotton candy. Thankfully it came out pretty easy and after a few minutes we had gotten it out, probably would have been faster without Jimin's “help” because he kept washing the wrong parts since he couldn't see it. Before he stood up, I took the bottom of my top and tried to dry his hair a bit so it didn't drip everywhere.

As he stood up, I glanced up at him and ran my hands through his hair, styling it slightly. I retracted my hands and gave him a thumbs up and we started making our way back to the others. The noise was loud, from the live band they had playing in the corner and all the people talking, as the night went by the crowd had amassed and became much bigger than before and I knew that if we stayed too late it would only get worse. The cool fall breeze flowed through the air and over the crowds lining up to get their food, it was almost impossible to see where we were going as I tried to push my way through all the hungry people.

As we walked through the packed crowd I felt Jimin slip his hand under the back of my shirt and grab hold of the fabric and pulling like he was trying to get me closer to him, I stopped in my tracks to check on him and make sure he hadn't been swept away from me, with a crowd this large it would be near impossible to find him again. As he stood closer to me, I grinned at him and slipped my hand into his before squeezed it tightly and trying to make our way through the crowd again

Emerging from the crowd we were finally back where we had left the guys, Taehyung and Jungkook were running around near the corn field in front of the others who seemed to be a bit nervous. I dragged Jimin over behind me and jogged towards the others. During their conversation they all seemed to look at us before glancing down then looking back up at Jimin, I asked if they were ready to go and they nervously told me what had happened in the 5 minutes I was away with Jimin.

“You lost Hoseok?”

My jaw dropped at what they had said, how do they just lose an entire person? Where would he have gone?

“He’s not lost! He’s just… not with us.” Namjoon explained. "And we don't know where he is.”

“That's literally the definition of lost!” Jimin said back to him before he started spinning himself around, trying to find the older male.

“Alright, let's split up and find him, we’ll go in teams of 2. Don't go far!” I said coming up with a plan to find the lost pack mate, everyone split into teams of 2 and went in different directions. 

After some time, we were able to find him, apparently when they had gone to put the rubbish into the bins they had walked away without him, Hobi didn't seem too upset, but he definitely made the other boys feel guilty. We started to make our way back to the entrance as it was getting late and despite how many people were here, I knew more would start arriving soon.

We played some more games on the way out and we all played and won a lot of prizes that I had somehow been designated to hold, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see everyone just having fun with each other and not having to worry about anything else. I don't think I've ever seen them this carefree since meeting them. They laughed loudly and had petty arguments over who was better at the games and trying to beat each other.

The sun had gone, and we were almost at the entrance, but Jungkook and Jin had insisted on another carnival game, their competitiveness was unmatched, with the sun down the air had gotten colder. I shivered and rubbed my arms with my free hand. A jacket was held in my face, and I looked to see who had passed it to me. Namjoon held out his other hand as well so he could hold the prizes while I put the jacket on.

I smiled up at him as I handed over the prizes and took the jacket into my hands before slipping it over my arms and pulling it into place. It was way too big for me, and it smelt like pine and lavender and was oddly comforting. I nuzzled my face further into the material before taking in a deep breath.

I heard Namjoon giggle at me, so I reached out to take the prizes back into my arms, he handed them over and we went back to watching the others finish their game.

The ride back to the apartment was full of loud laughter and everyone talking over each other as we recounted our day, from all the activities to when we were denied another round at a game because we kept losing.

It was nice to get out of the cold night air as we got inside the building, it was getting into colder months so they didn't have the air conditioning down as low, and soon they would probably start heating up the public areas of the building. As we made our way through the lobby with all our prizes in hand, I spotted Yeonjun who had made his way over to us.

“Looks like you all headed to the Carolfarm Festival? How was it? I haven't been since I was in high school.” He asked us as he took a prize out of my hand that I was barely able to hold on to.

I smiled as a way of thanking him for taking the prizes I couldn't hold as we kept walking slowly towards the elevators. “Yeah, me too. It was great actually! Just as I remembered it. I used to go a lot with some friends in high school, but I haven’t been since I left, work and things get in the way, you know?"

Yeonjun hummed in acknowledgement. “Yeah, it is like that. It’s nice that even though you don't always have time to hang out you still send letters to your friends.”

“What?” I asked him, confused at the second half of what he had said. I don't send letters to anyone.

“You know how you and Jiyoon send each other letters, like pen pals.” He turned to me and smiled, but I was still confused. “I see her slip her letters under your door towards the end of my shift most days. I guess I'm not usually working when you deliver yours though.” He continued, as we made it to the elevator, he was clueless as to what he had just done.

I stopped dead in my tracks, hoping I had just misheard him and what he had told me.

Clearly noticing that I had stopped walking with him, he turned around to face me but as he looked at me his face dropped into confusion as he looked at me puzzled. I could feel the eyes of the others on me as well as we all stood in front of the elevators in silence before I broke it.

“What?”

A/n: Finally! Another chapter has arrived! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, I was going to give them a completely relaxed chapter without any drama, but I couldn't do it 😁 Initially there was also going to be more games (Mirror maze, Hedge maze, Various other festival things.) and a scene where Hobi hunted Y/n down in the corn field 🤭 but I didn't want the chapter to be too long. I hope you all enjoy it and sorry for the wait! I hope you all have a lovely day or night and thankyou all for the support! 💜

[evansonlylove]

okay then, well i like your kai fict and i think that you prolly wanna make some more. how about kai x reader where the reader want to be a dom so bad —doing a cowgirl or whatsoever, but kai enjoy slash jokingly or mock the reader about no matter how hard she tried she can never be the dom, so kai show her that he will always in charge. but anyway no pressure at all, free to ignore this if you dont want to okay? <3

i’m so sorry this took so long, i haven’t been doing the best and i wanted this to be good! i hope you enjoy it and get to see this. And thank you so much for sending this request in, i seriously appreciate you sending it in. REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

don’t test me

Kai anderson x Female reader

summary: while out with your friends one night you hear about their sex lives, although what you heard shocked you. Kai had always been the “one in charge” and you liked it that way but something in you wanted to try and dominate him. (reader is a sub at first, tries to dom and kai puts her in her place) caring kai at the end

warnings: 18+, smut, degrading, slapping, aggressiveness, choking, p n v, no condom, spit kink, kai’s fixation on being your God. all that kai toxicity and smuttyness

bold letters are kai’s speach.

“Hi baby” you hear his deep beautiful voice come out of your phone as you put it up to your ear. Even while out with your friends you missed him, how could you not?

“Hi kai! can you hear me good?” slowly slipping away from the crowd in the bar you trip on your heels, you tried to act as a sober as possible so he wouldn’t know you drank a little too much.

“Yeah, yeah i can. did you see the time yet?” he says with a demanding voice, shit. it was past 10 and you hadn’t even noticed. You look back at your friends waving their hands at you to come back.

“oh, the time? i mean it’s still kinda early and i don’t go out often. Do you think i can stay a bit longer?” you put your finger up to your lips and bite your nail nervously, but it was true. You were a good girl, always obeying his rules and staying true to him and only him.

“hm. Okay fine but not to long, i’ll be waiting for you so no funny business” finally hearing him agree you smile, after all he was your ruler, him saying yes to you felt like a reward. Quickly you reply

“thank you thank you! i’ll be good i promise” As much of a tough guy as he was, you knew how to get into his heart. Your cuteness and even fake innocence always found your way into that man’s love.

“You better be. i’ll see you in a little okay princess?”

“mhm!” you reply instantly and hang up, practically running up to your friends who had a drink waiting for you

“I don’t get why you have to explain yourself to him y/n” one of your friends say as you sit down. Soon they all tag along in teasing you about your relationship “Like yea he’s hot but don’t you even just want to be the dominant one? not have to say where you are and do whatever you want?”

Their words take a while to sink in, you had honestly never thought about your relationship being opposite or different in any way. You loved being his little lamb and good girl, being owned and loved even if it was in his twisted way.

“I don’t know.. i like it the way we are. Plus i could never dominate a man like him.” you say as you sip your drink and start thinking about it, what it would be like to ruin him if you could. Ruin him the way he does you… maybe make him beg. Snapping out of it you finish your drink in one gulp

“I’d give it a try if i were you, i didn’t know i had half the kinks i do now till i tried it. but, Kai is definitely more possessive and all that crazy shit than all out boyfriends combined so it’s up to you girl.” she laughs as you shrug your shoulders and feel your phone vibrate. You read a message from who other than Kai ‘it’s been 30 mins y/n don’t push your limits’

“you know what? i’m gonna do it. it shouldn’t be so hard to dominate a man” you stand up and take a shot glass filled with tequila and down it all. “Wish me luck” you hug them goodbye and walk out the bar feeling like you were invincible. Obviously at the time you didn’t know it was the drinks talking.

‘calm down, i’ll be there in a few.’ you reply as you start your walk, luckily you only loved about 5 minutes away from the apartment. Playing music loud out of your phone, you loved this feeling and you had almost forgotten what it was like to have fun. But like clockwork there’s another message from Kai within seconds

‘just get home you brat’ you read, he wasn’t as mad at you thought he’d be. Brat was like a cute nickname he gave you sometimes, And finally you’re downstairs without even noticing. You take a deep breath as you open the door to your apartment, you see your boyfriend sitting on the couch watching TV. You always knew he was hot but seeing him after the talk with your friends at the bar made you see how bad you wanted to own him. Putting down you bag and walking towards him you straddle him on the couch and push him back.

“I take you by how you look, you drank a lot?” you put your hand on his chin and roll your eyes

“yeah? what about it?” you say as you kiss him roughly, moving your fingers through his hair. If there was one thing you knew about yourself getting drunk is that you get confident and horny. You start grinding against his cock, you smile into the kiss as you felt him get hard in his jeans. You didn’t even feel his hand make his way to your neck slightly choking you.

“And what makes you think it’s okay to talk to me like that-“

“shut up and let me fuck you for once” you cut him off as you slip your dress off through your arms, revealing your lacy red bra to him. You could see the anger displayed on his face but honestly you didn’t care, it only turned you on more. He starts to sit up but you push him back again, you knew he could break you in half if he wanted to so the fact that he was holding back from taking control meant you could do more. You reach down and undo his pants fast before he could even react. or do you thought

“Maybe you let the alcohol get to your head a little you much you fucking brat. You don’t fuck me, I fuck you” he grabs you by your waist lifting you up slightly as he slid your panties to the side. “Dont worry little lamb, i’ll show you who fucks who” he whispered into your ear and ran his fingers down your lips. In that moment you melted instantly, you took his cock out his boxers as you saw his eyes tell you to.

“Aw you’re backing down so fast? even more pathetic than i thought” he said before you could even gather words to say he jerked his hips up finally putting his cock inside your wet pussy causing a moan to leave your lips. One of his hands make his way to your back and take your bra off in a quick motion. After a few jerks up into you he stops

“didnt you want to fuck me? go on, try” your pussy was left throbbing, you knew you could never make yourself feel as good as he did but there you went being his obedient little slut and started riding him. Your thighs shook as you slid up and down his hard cock, you could barley keep the same rhythm.

“I can’t do it kai..” you let out a desperate moan, feeling pathetic.

“Oh you poor girl, it doesn’t feel as good does it?” he placed both his hands on your face caressing you softly before he slapped you across your left cheek, and holding onto your chin after. “look at me and beg me to fuck you, admit you were wrong. You could NEVER dominate me, deep down you know you love being my personal little toy.”

“you’re right, i cant and will never be able to do it like you. You own me and i fucking love it” you bite your lip slowly and place your hands on his shoulders

“Yeah that’s right you fucking slut” His hips jerked up to yours once again fucking you restlessly, your moans filling the room as you leaned your head down on his neck, moaning into his ear. “you love getting fucked till you can’t take it.. you.. love getting ruined by your God” he whispered between thrusts, driving you crazy.

“Oh my god yes kai, i fucking love it, i love you” you whimpered out as your legs began shaking again and your core tightening, your pussy throbbing around his cock. “fuck please let me cum please kai” his hands reached down to your ass, gripping you tight, holding you up so he could fuck you even deeper than you thought was possible.

“yeah you love it, i love you more my little slut but you can’t cum just yet” his free hand runs down to your clit as he rubs small circles around it just perfectly to overstimulate you. Your breathing gets heavy as you feel his cock throb inside you. “this perfect little cunt is all mine, you cum once i tell you do okay?” he whispers and kisses down your neck, his thrust getting harder and moans leaving his lips and into your ears.

“Fucking cum for me now” you felt your body give out as those words left his mouth, leaning completely on him as his arms go around you holding you close as he filled you up with his cum. “This cunt was made to take my fucking loads, oh fuck you feel so perfect when you cum around my cock” you feel his cum dripping out with your juices as he stayed inside you

“kai.. oh fuck you have no idea how much i love being yours. i love it when you mark my pussy with your cum” you whisper as he holds you in his arms, still not pulling out.

“I had to remind you who’s in charge, if i have to slut you out to show you that then i’ll do it a million times till it gets burned into your pretty little head.” he lifted your head up from the crook of his neck and kissed you roughly “And as cute as it was to see you try to even dominate me, don’t ever try that shit again. don’t test me.” his hand wrapped around your neck as he awaited your response “you got it?”

“yes divine ruler i promise” you said as his placed around kiss on your lips and lifted you off his cock with a groan going into your ear. you tried to stand up but with the alcohol in your system and your legs not working properly as your boyfriend had just fucked you like no other.

“come on baby i got you” he carry’s you in his strong arms, you let out a smile as he takes you to the bathroom. “let’s get you washed up, and get us ready for bed” you felt your heart melt, everyone knew kai as a mean stone cold person but with you he was different, you loved these loving moments you got with him. As he got you in the bath you tried to think of what you’d tell your friends tomorrow but quickly get distracted as he gets into the tub with you. his beauty always hit you as if it was your first time seeing him. “you’re so fucking beautiful you know that baby?” he says catching you off guard as you didn’t notice him looking at you the way you were at him.

“youre a different kind of beauty kai. one i could never be” this relationship was all you both could ever want it to be, you could see it in his eyes and he could see it in yours.

once again ty so much for this request, if anyone else wants to send more in i appreciate it so much! i hope this was good. - rain♥️

[jo-harrington]

On-the-Job Training (A Store Manager Verse Story - Steve Harrington/Reader)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve has a crush on the Dippin' Dots cashier.

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Late Summer of 1985, Steve and Robin work at Scoops, Reader works at Dippin' Dots, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Enemies to Lovers(sort of?), Tie in with the Store Manager Verse

Note: Ok what started off as a silly little conversation about what flavor chapstick each ST character would use turned into this and I typically don't write Steve...but I had to give him some love.

Tagging my loves who were integral to that convo to thank them for inspiration especially Drac who started it all. This is for you bb. @dr-aculaaa @mopeymopeymouse @chestylarouxx @somnambulic-thing @fracturedarkness @br0ck-eddie

Technically slightly anachronistic because Dippin' Dots didn't open until 1988 but I'm a stickler for accuracy in the regular series. This is just a fun little do-dad.

You can find my masterlist here for more fics featuring pretty much exclusively Eddie Munson content but also a little Steve.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Largely unedited; I didn't even re-read it. It's might suck. Enjoy!

---

"Ahoy! One U.S.S. Butterscotch!"

Steve never thought that this would be his future after graduation.

This summer he should have been living it up before he went away to college and made something of himself. Lifeguarding at the pool, going to all the parties, hanging out with his friends.

Instead, his life went to shit, Nancy Wheeler had broken up with him, he had gotten rejection letter after rejection letter from the schools he had applied to...and instead of working at the pool like he had every summer since he turned 16, he had a crappy job slinging ice cream at Scoops Ahoy of all places at the new StarCourt Mall.

"Thanks so much," the sweet lady who had placed the order smiled at him and handed the sundae to her son. "Look at that Frankie, your favorite." The little boy shot Steve a grin complete with his two front teeth missing and Steve melted a little bit.

Alright, it wasn't so bad. He got to make people smile, he got some spending money--which was nice since his dad had pretty much cut him off, although his mom was sneaking him some cash on the side.

"Look alive dingus," Robin called from the window separating the front of the ice cream parlor from the backroom. "Your schmoopsie poo is here."

"Shut up Rob!" Steve groaned through gritted teeth.

One of the perks of working at the mall was that he got to interact with people of all shapes and sizes and yeah...Steve had tried to use it as a means to get over Nancy. He'd had little hours-long crushes on fellow mall employees, customers, Robin--although working with her made that difficult--hell there was even a manager that had caught his eye towards the beginning of summer except he'd seen Eddie "The Freak" Munson of all people hanging around her.

Although after a few months of seeing Eddie around StarCourt not being a wastoid menace, Steve had to admit...well he wasn't that bad either.

The one who'd caught his eye the most though was you, and yeah...he'd developed an actual big little long-lasting crush.

You, who came around for a root-beer float most afternoons.

You, whose smile made his heart skip a little.

You in your pink polo, teal apron, and white visor with the words Dippin' Dots emblazoned on the front.

The enemy.

And you never let him forget it either.

Steve had been heart eyes over you the first time you had entered into Scoops territory to order your float. Undercover in casual summer clothes a week after the mall had opened. There was just something about you, your smile, your laugh.

Robin teased that he said that about everyone; Steve ignored her.

Then you opened your mouth and said the float was good but the service could have been better. That Steve should stop by Dippin' Dots sometime and see how it was really done.

Shots fired.

It really hurt at first. This was his first real job outside of the community pool, one he had been excited to get. He was really nice, tried his best; why didn't you think so?

"It's called flirting," Robin insisted. "God, you really suck, you know that? How can you ask people out willy nilly and then miss someone flirting with you right in front of your face? Flirt back next time."

So he did.

Every so often he'd mosey across the mall to your kiosk, order a small vanilla cup, and throw a little insult of his own your way. Usually something about how tiny balls of ice cream could never beat an actual scoop. Or about how you didn't count his change the right way, or that your visor was on crooked.

You wouldn't hesitate to get your own comment in. Especially about his choice in flavor.

"You work at an ice cream parlor and you order vanilla?" you questioned. "A hundred flavors to choose from at scoops; do you only get vanilla there too? Vanilla...is good but when you have variety? Order something exciting one day, and then we can talk business, Stevie."

Oof, it steamed him.

But not enough to stop playing the game.

And it left you both grinning so who was he to end the fun.

So when you showed up at Scoops today after not being around for a few days and your smile didn't reach your eyes like it usually did...Steve was suddenly overcome with...well he didn't really know.

"Ahoy, uh, sailor," he greeted and tried to put on his biggest award-winning, tip-earning smile.

"Ahoy," you replied weakly.

"Root beer float?" he asked, already heading over to the case to start scooping ice cream into a cup.

"Uh," you hesitated. "No, just...just a small vanilla cup today."

Steve froze and looked at you. Your shoulders were slumped, you had your visor in your hand, and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him.

What was...what was wrong with you?

Where was your fight? Where was your fire? Why, all of a sudden, was your game over?

"Hey, uhm," he coughed awkwardly. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, Steve," you nodded absently.

"You always get root beer."

"I just want vanilla today."

"The special is salted caramel? I can give you a sample if you're--"

"No, I just want vanilla," you cut him off and rolled your eyes. "You always get vanilla. Why is it a problem if I suddenly do? Vanilla is good too. Maybe vanilla is just...what we both want ok? Nothing else."

He was shocked. That wasn't playful annoyance in your voice; you were just...annoyed.

"Sure," he agreed. "Sure. One small vanilla coming right up."

He got your ice cream and rang you out, and as you were about to leave, he called after you.

"See you in a little while?" he asked.

"If you want." You waved goodbye and headed out of the ice cream parlor.

Steve turned and looked at Robin who simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What just happened?" he asked.

"You're hopeless," she sighed and slammed the shutters on the window closed.

---

Steve roamed around the mall on his break.

Typically, he'd make his way to Dippin' Dots but...that just seemed like a waste of time today.

He'd fixated on your visit for the rest of his shift until his break, analyzing everything he said, everything he did. Everything that could have made you mad at him.

Once he got Robin out of her hiding spot in the back room, he monologued all of his thoughts to her.

She watched him pace back and forth, called him a dingus a few times, a loser a few other times, and then finally sent him on his break with some last words.

"I know you're hearing everything they're saying Steve," she began. "But are you really listening? You just keep...ordering vanilla."

"Uh. Yeah. That's the game."

"It's not a game you...ughhhhh! GO!" She pointed to the exit. "Before I throttle you."

Why couldn't she just tell him? What had he done?

In his rumination, he'd been chewing at his lips. A habit he had pretty much done his entire life when he got nervous.

Shit, and he'd left his chapstick in the car; it was hot, it probably melted by now.

That was one of the little ways you made his life a little better...through your teasing. You had told him, once, that his lips looked dry.

"Maybe invest in some chapstick or something."

He'd gone to Melvald's that same night that you told him and got a 3-pack of strawberry chapstick. All the while wondering if it meant you had been looking at his lips for a while or...

But it was...just another little jab right? Another little flirt? Another part of your game?

Still, he never knew when you might show up so the chapstick became a constant--something that soothed him even, gave him courage--and he always had a tube tucked into the pocket of his shorts, or on the register, or in the cupholder of his car. To swipe on if he knew he was about to see you...or hoped he was.

And now...he desperately needed it, needed his strawberry chapstick--needed you--and it was nowhere to be found.

Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at the stores around him.

WaldenBooks, Regis Salon, JH Camera Repair.

Claires.

Bingo.

He'd seen little kids with their play makeup and sparkly plastic jewelry post up in one of the booths at Scoops after they spent their allowance money at Claire's. He had to find strawberry chapstick there. He'd even take cherry. Something.

Anything.

Steve crossed into the pink-and-purple-and-pop-music-filled oasis to a melodic "Welcome In" from the employee helping a little girl by the ear piercing booth. And as out of place as he felt, he was immediately relieved to see a wall full of eyeshadow palettes and glitter hairspray.

He closed the distance and frantically searched the wall, but it was all novelty makeup. There was one package of Dr. Pepper lip smackers, but the package was half-ripped and the cap was missing; he was a little worried but he figured it was better than nothing.

He was about to snatch it off the hook when that voice sounded behind him.

"Did you need help finding anything?" He immediately turned on his heel to find the employee--the manager, Eddie Munson's girlfriend--standing there in a flourish of tulle and fluorescent colors. "Oh! That's a customer favorite...looks like it's damaged though, let me just..."

She reached out to take the package but Steve reacted instinctually. He quickly grabbed it and clutched it to his chest.

"I don't mind," he tried to reason. "I don't care if it's missing the cap."

"Listen, I can't sell it to you if it's damaged," the manager explained. "It's just not safe. Is there anything else I can help you find though?"

She reached for the package again but he held it back.

"I need this," Steve tried again.

"Oh...kay."

"Because I messed up and this...you know the cashier down at the Dippin' Dots kiosk? Well...I don't know...I pissed them off or something and I just need to...go down and talk to them and I can't."

"So the lip balm is a gift for them? To make amends?"

"No...it's for me because my lips are dry." Steve sighed. "I...ok I know it sounds crazy, but I swear. It's...they got me to start using chapstick because they said my lips were dry and it's this thing we do. We go back and forth and we tease each other.

"But they're mad at me now, and they didn't...I mean they ordered vanilla. They never order vanilla. They hate it when I order vanilla."

"Uh huh." The manager's eyes went a little soft. "I'm not...really following the logic...but I get it."

"You do?"

"You like each other. But you're just...going back and forth. And no one has really...admitted it," she observed. She suddenly burst into laughter and Steve cocked his head to one side in confusion. "Sorry, sorry...it's just...whatafuckincoincidence.

"So are you the one who's afraid of being rejected? Or...are they...or..."

Cue the record scratch in Steve's head.

Rejection.

All summer...all year actually...Steve had been faced with one rejection after another. First Nancy, then all of the college applications, his dad and now...all of the little fleeting mall crushes that he'd asked out that had said no.

Robin had even made a scoreboard that sat in the back whenever someone turned him down.

He thought all this time...he'd become immune to it. But with you...it was easier to think it was just a game than to possibly face the reality that if he asked you out...you'd say no and then the little game would be ruined. And his hopes would be dashed.

He didn't realize that all of his waffling could potentially be hurting you too.

"Why don't you," the manager continued when Steve hesitated to answer, "go down there and talk to them? Even if they're mad at you. Communication is very important. I'm sure if you explain everything, or even...just show that you're willing to bridge the gap, they'd be willing to listen. The worst they could say is no, but if they're already mad, you have nothing to lose. See if they'll give you a chance."

"So I...shouldn't order vanilla this time?" He looked up at her and asked, recalling your words.

Order something exciting, and then we can talk business.

The door had been open for him to ask you out this whole time.

And that's why you ordered vanilla earlier. Because Vanilla meant...meant that this...flirtation...this game...wasn't going anywhere. He hadn't made a move, so you didn't want to wait anymore.

God, he was so stupid.

"Uh, no...don't do that," the manager smiled kindly. She reached out for the broken lip balm and took it from him. "I'll just...damage this out."

"Wait...but my lips are still dry," Steve floundered. "I still need chapstick."

"Do you think there's gonna be some kissing happening?" the manager's eyes narrowed. "I said talk to them, not...plant one on them."

"I just need...something," he begged. "Strawberry...if you have it."

"I think we have strawberry flavored lip gloss by the register."

"I'll take it."

---

So there Steve was, in the concourse by JCPenney, patiently waiting in the line for Dippin' Dots with sticky, strawberry-flavored lips tinted a very nice shade of pink.

As soon as he had swiped the gloss on...as silly as he had felt...he had been reminded of you.

"Next!" your voice sounded every so often and the line got shorter and shorter, and Steve's courage got weaker and weaker. The Claire's manager had been right though...communication...the worst you could tell Steve was "no."

"Next!" You'd be just another tally on Robin's scoreboard. And she could call him a dingus again. She really enjoyed doing that. So some good would at least come from his failure.

"Next!" He'd also get...a cup of Dippin' Dots which...if he had to admit, he kinda enjoyed. He got all the Scoops ice cream he wanted for free but this was different. Ice Cream of the Future and all that. He sort of expected Henderson to come up with something like this, the little nerd; well, if he could never show his face here again, he'd ask the kids if they could figure out how to make some kind of futuristic ice cream for him.

"Ne--oh!" Steve finally got to the front of the line and saw your shocked face. He smiled and waved as he approached the register.

"Hey," he greeted. "I told you I'd see you around."

"You did," you said flatly and scrunched your nose. "So...the usual? Small vanilla cup?"

"Uh no..." Steve said hesitantly. You raised an eyebrow in question. "I uh...can I get a large..."

"Large vanilla?" You sniffed.

"Large Rainbow Ice," he recited after squinting at the menu board. "It's time for something new."

You stared at him silently and Steve couldn't help but doubt himself.

What if Rainbow Ice was the wrong answer? Should he have gone with Banana Split? Shit he should have just stuck with Strawberry. It was his favorite. Strawberry chapstick, strawberry gloss, strawberry ice cream. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Yeah," you finally answered with a beaming smile and Steve's heart soared. "Yeah it is time for something new, isn't it?"

Next Part: Incremental Planning

[vodika-vibes]

Hi vod'ika

I'm pretty sure I saw a post saying your requests were open,

If they are please could I get Alpha 17(or fox, rex, wolffe) with some kinda civilian contractor, some kind of pining a lil bit of friends/coworkers to lovers vod teasing about this very obvious crush bit of feelings realisation (my favourite) (there can be smut or not up to you)

I love the way you write Alpha 17 especially but I don't mind really who you write it for!

The Edge Of Dawn

Summary: Alpha-17 doesn’t have friends. His job is to make sure that the cadets survive to adulthood, and that’s it. There’s absolutely no reason that he should be so comfortable with the civilian contractor who is in charge of teaching the cadets how to slice. But if Fordo doesn’t stop making smart comments, Alpha’s going to be down one vod.

Pairing: Alpha-17 x F!Reader

Word Count: 1616

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Sorry that this took so long to get back to! It took me a while to come up with an idea that made me happy. I don't know if I followed your prompt to the letter, Alpha-17 doesn't do emotions well after all, but I think I'm happy with it!

“Alpha,” There’s a small smile playing on her lips as she hops up to sit on the barricade next to the much taller man, a datapad hanging from one of her hands, “What a surprise to see you here!”

He spares her half a glance, and then focuses his attention back on the ARC trainees that he’s currently responsible for, “Yes. What a surprise. That you found me in my training room.”

She beams at him, unrepentant, “Your little ducklings seem to be doing well.”

“Don’t call them that.”

“Your tooka kittens.”

“Not that either.”

“Your-”

“Is there a reason you’re here, harassing me, and not in your office doing whatever it is the long-necks hired you for?” Alpha asks, finally pinning her with all of his attention.

“I missed you.”

“You saw me an hour ago, try again.”

“It’s been a whole hour since I’ve seen your smiling face-” She continues dramatically, only to yelp when Alpha takes a strand of her hair between two fingers and tugs on it. “Rude.”

“I can be ruder.” He counters bluntly. “What do you need?”

She lightly raps her knuckles on her datapad, “There’s something...but I think it can wait.” She finally says, “You could come to my quarters tonight.”

“That-” Alpha is cut off at the very telling sound of Fordo choking on his laughter. “Problem, vod?” He bites out.

Fordo tilts his head towards her, but doesn’t say anything. Though his shoulders are shaking with repressed laughter. And Alpha is seriously considering shooting him.

Instead he focuses his attention on her and flicks his fingers towards the door, “Beat it. I’m busy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Who isn’t? I mean it, Alpha. I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll come find you when I can.”

“Great!” She hops back to her feet and glances at her datapad for a moment, before she beams at him and motions for him to duck his head a little bit.

Alpha eyes her suspiciously for a moment, but does as she instructs. She presses her lips, soft and warm, against his cheek, before she turns and scurries out of the room.

He stares after her, jaw slightly slack, as his hand comes up to press against his cheek. And then he’s jolted out of his shock at the sound of Fordo laughing. Alpha decides to table his, admittedly conflicted, thoughts about the slicer who has wormed her way into his heart, and decides to turn his annoyance at Fordo onto the baby ARCs.

He’s always had an easier time working through his emotions physically, after all.

It’s later, much later, when Alpha is able to pull himself away from his work for long enough to go and hunt down the little slicer. And yes, he did ignore the knowing looks his vod’e were shooting him as he left his barracks.

They’ve been giving him shit about how he treats her for months now.

All of them claim that he obviously has a thing for her (one of his brothers used the word crush and Alpha kind of wanted to punch him for it). He disagrees.

He respects the hell out of her.

He wants to protect her from the long-necks, he doesn’t like the speculative way that they look at her sometimes. And yes, okay, he likes looking at her.

That doesn’t mean he has a thing for her.

Sure, maybe he’s had a stray thought about wondering what it would be like to kiss her. And maybe he’s wondered if her skin is as soft as it looks. And maybe he’s considered what she’d look like if she was pregnant before.

But that doesn’t mean anything.

It can’t mean anything.

He knocks on the door to her suite, and it slides open surprisingly fast. Fast enough that his hand is still raised when she drags him into her suite.

“Were you waiting?”

“Yes!” She slams her hand on the control panel, shutting and locking the door before she turns and hurries deeper into his suite.

There’s a strange humming noise coming from a small device sitting on her coffee table, and it takes Alpha a moment to recognize that it’s a jamming device. Slowly his eye brows creep up as he looks around the suite.

Like all of the suites on Kamino, it’s small. About the size of a studio apartment. Though her room seems much smaller due to the sheer amount of stuff covering every inch of open surface.

“What’s going on?” She scurries around the room and Alpha takes note of a packed backpack sitting at the foot of her bed. “Is that a bug out bag?”

“No!” She pauses, “Well, yes. Technically.”

“Are you running away from Kamino?” Is he...hurt? He is. He thought she liked it here.

She grabs her datapad, her personal datapad based on the ridiculous looking purple protective case wrapped around it, and she turns her panicked gaze towards him.

All of his hurt feelings fly out the window at the look on her face, and he immediately shifts into, what she’s called, his badass soldier mode. “What happened?”

She won’t meet his gaze, and her free hand is fluttering over the designs on the protective case. And Alpha’s heart sinks. He’s not going to like what she’s about to say.

“Um, so...you remember why I was hired in the first place, right?”

“Yeah. The Jedi were worried about Seppie slicers getting into these computers. You were hired to update the security. Which you did.”

“Yes! Yes, I did.” She lifts her gaze from where it was tracing the paint on his chest place, “I…” She takes a deep breath, “I have a thing.”

“A thing?”

“I don’t like secrets. And I don’t trust the Republic. And I really, really don’t like the Kaminoans.” She says quickly, “So…”

“So?”

“I left myself a backdoor in their system.”

“...okay. Okay, so what. Did someone, other than you, use the backdoor?”

“No. You’d only be able to find it if you knew it was there.” She says quickly, “But, well, I’ve been perusing their system and...and ten years is a lot of stuff to go through, but I learned a lot.”

“Like?”

“Like the fact that the clones were commissioned by Count Dooku on the order of someone called Sidious. Like the fact that all of the clones have a chip in their brain to overwrite their free will.” her grip tightens around her datapad, “Well, all of the clones except for the Alpha Class.”

He was right. He doesn’t like this.

“I think…” She hesitates.

“Well, don’t stop now.”

“I think the clones were created as a trap for the Jedi. I think you were created to kill them.” She says quickly.

Alpha doesn’t say anything for a long time. And then, slowly, he exhales. “Okay. So how do we fix it.”

“You believe me?”

“You’ve never lied to me before.” Alpha pins her with a look, “I assume you have a plan.”

“Chips can be hacked. There must be a computer or terminal somewhere here that will allow me to overwrite the code on the chips. I just...need to find it.” She finally loosens her grip on her datapad, “This computer isn’t hooked up to the regular network, I know. I’ve looked.”

“You’ve looked.”

“...your brothers are very talented. But a lot of them are going to die if they turn against the Jedi. I don’t want that. I...don’t want any of this.”

Alpha stares at her for a long, long time. His brothers were wrong. He doesn’t have a crush on her. It’s so, so much worse.

“Alpha?”

He’s in love with her.

“Hello?”

Obviously he needs to claim her as his before they go any further with this.

“Do you need a medic? Should I call for help?”

Alpha snaps back to attention when she waves her hand in his face, worry written clearly on her face. He catches her wrist, and pulls her arm to the side.

“Oh, there you are. You went somewhere else for a bit.” She says, the worry fading away now that he’s moving again.

“I was thinking.”

“Oh, I know this is a lot-”

“Not about that.” Alpha interrupts.

“I...what?”

His grin is sharp, “I was thinking that I’m going to kiss you and claim you as mine, and then we can work out a plan on how to save my stupid ass brothers.”

She just blinks at him, startled, but she doesn’t try to pull away as he leans in and presses his lips against hers. In fact, she enthusiastically kisses him back.

Alpha releases her wrist and cups the back of her head to hold her close, deepening the kiss in the way that he’s been dreaming of for longer than he’ll ever admit to, and then he pulls back and presses his forehead against hers.

“Now,” He murmurs, “Is there anything else you learned that I should know?”

She blinks at him through hazy eyes, “Uh...Jango Fett is alive and in cryo in the basement.”

“What!?”

“Um, the Jango Fett who died on Geonosis was another clone who took his place. Apparently.” She says quickly.

Alpha stares at her for a long time, “Oh...kay. We’re going to table that particular crisis until we deal with this one. I’m going to go get Fordo and General Ti. You-” He pauses, “You’re going to hide your bug out bag and clean up some of this mess.”

“Oh. Right.”

He moves his hand so he’s able to brush his thumb across her lips, “And then, we can talk about us.”

And a small smile crosses her lips, “I��d like there to be an us.”

“Me too.”

[krewekreep]

After the Night Ends: Chapter 3 (Flashback)

1.5K Words. Alucard X OC!Reader. Reader is non binary with a femme body. AU but contains lore from Castlevania & Castlevania: Nocturne. Takes place during the last episode and goes from there…

Angst, Estranged Lovers AU, Soulmate AU, Alucard is a reclusive, flirtatious snarky brat. Not 18+ yet but following chapters may and will be properly tagged as such. Soundtrack: Glass Animals - Hooves (just for the vibes tbh.)

“Alucard?” You burst outside into the garden, head thrown side to side looking for him. “Alucard!!” You ran about without any sight of him. Did he go to Town? Or did he just take one of those silent man strolls he was prone to doing randomly? You were stunned, confused, you needed to know if this was true.

“You’re about to make me lose my fucking mind…” you growled, your shoulders bunching in animalistic agitation. A letter arrived, a very disheveled letter of warm love and missing of Alucard. How whoever this was missed his kind countenance and thought of their old days traveling. How soon they would be in the area and hoped to see him again, acknowledging he had every right to deny them if he so chose to…since they seemingly left without regard for him. You whip your head to see him breaking through bushes of the forest nearing you.

“Ah,” he said. “Apologies, I was around back and had walked to the river to read. I heard you calling…” in his hand was a massive, beautiful ornate collection of the Divine Comedy, ever the lover of drama to the highest degree. “You sound bothered…” he was worried. He heard from when you began stomping inside to the hard push and whack of the doors opening.

“Yeah, as hell I am!” You were angry. Your eyes staring into him. He didn’t know whether to inquire more…or disappear. Already accustomed but weary of your casual ferocity. “Who the FUCK are Sypha…” which you said mockingly, “and Tretor?! Trevor?” He was absolutely dumbfounded. How did you know about them? Did they show up? Were they here? His heart beat sped up, thumping loudly. Your keen ears caught it, lowering your possessive gaze to leer at him. While you two have not consummated anything, you ended up staying a day, a few more days, then weeks.

Now you could say it was about a month and a half since he decided you weren’t a bother enough to send into the night. This was uncharacteristic of you, somewhat scary to him. He could only muddle his own mind over his yearning for them, how you even knew of them, and why you are so damn upset about it? He wanted to set his hand against your chest to calm you. He would not let them hurt you. He would not suddenly quick you out. He thought you afraid of being abandoned, a soft sweet truly considerate thought.

“Why the Fuck,” you pull out a bunched up and admittedly clawed couple page letter. His heart sank. Was that from them? Why was it in your hands? When did it arrive? What does it say??? Really Trevor and Sypha? His heart yearned soon becoming angered. “You read my correspondence without permission?” There was some heat in his tone. That which you did not appreciate. “I sure fucking did!” Why were you so angry? You had no right. You were nothing more than someone overstaying their welcome. You be well aware you not comparable enough to question him or insult them. He was tired of you for the day.

“Give me that,” he went to snatch the letter from you but you retreated, angrily jumping away from him. “They miss you. They care about you…,” now you were being mean. “Oh how they love you…but alone you are and alone you’ve been…” it was not your place, you wanted to shut up. But how could he care? How could he get mad at you when you could see through this bullshit a mile away. “You call me a swindler?? What in the hell would you consider this!!!” You were absolutely screaming at him now. Thumbing through the pages remembering an especially enraging part. Your voice again mocking the sincerity of the authors. “Oh how we were ignorant to leave you so alone. It is with deep regret we were so selfish and did not consider you.” He wanted to snatch the pages from you as rough as needed. Only he understands…that they mean it. They have to mean it. They are the truest, most loving people he’s ever met. Not their fault he just…didn’t fit into their plans. No, at all costs you would not besmirch them.

He walked down on you easily. You soon reclining back guarding the papers to your chest. You looked to a scowl that while abhorrent was nothing…you knew he didn’t have it in him to really manhandle you. But to your surprise you were grabbed roughly and brought close to his displeased grimace by the ruff of your blouse. You wanted to bite him, bite at him. This was unlike any other spat the two of you had. Both seething mere inches from each other’s face. How upset you were he was upset you were upset simply trying to protect him! How you overheard him talking to handmade dolls or to no one at all, full blown conversations where he’d reply on the others behalf! Your eyes began to water, you closed them snatching away from his grasp and rubbing them quickly. “Are they…the dolls you talk to?”

Alucard…was flabbergasted. He ashamed and caught…exposed and disgusted. He didn’t know how lonely he opens was. He thought he hid it well. He thought… “No, they are not.” He knew you didn’t believe him. He knew you knew better. When he hastily would put them away as you’d enter the library, long after you caught him talking for hours. How you began to interrupt him—join him with the express purpose of being a real person to he could communicate with. So he understands…he could talk to you…even if he didn’t and just sat in silence. Your presence was felt…and he was grateful. But it took time. Every time you interrupt him he felt caught and confused. If you only had needed food, a place to rest, clothes…why did you follow him around? You didn’t follow him…but you did keep up with his whereabouts as often as possible.

You curious of him. Admittedly saddened on his behalf by his decayed social state. How his unnecessarily upset introduction and continued short temper made all the more sense. How you could lay off of him, just a bit, cause some days his head was heavier than others. Some days he wouldn’t look up from the ground. And others you couldn’t get him to look away from the sky. Always somewhere else…when you were right there next to him, open and willing if he just looked at you instead of everywhere, everything else. “Is it true? Are they the dolls, Alucard.”

“You have no right to ask.”

“I do not. But that’s why I push the matter. You characterize me as sneaky and always lurking about! I do nothing of the sort…and how!!! How of this? Had they not done the same? Have they not known the same warmth of your kindness? Did I leave the minute I got what I wanted? Did I?!” You lamented with the tears finally falling. What you didn’t know is they hadn’t left as soon as they got what they wanted. He sincerely understood you even if he didn’t agree with how intense you were about it. You just didn’t know them…but…he evidently had hurt your feelings by treating you with a close contempt. How he hadn’t considered his own hypocrisy allowing you to stay here, attempting to make nice, while he acted as if you were a bother. Knowing he wasn’t bothered by you at all…just…thrown off.

You didn’t know what they all had gone through. You didn’t know they saved your life and plenty others. World Savers. You didn’t know how ungrateful and insulting you sounded. You just sounded extremely overly protective, possessive, offended, excluded. “How could anyone…abandon someone like you .” You cried into your arm, shielding yourself from his now guilty eyes.

“Please…” he reached for you, much gentler, much closer to who he really was. But you turned away. “Here,” you threw the papers in the air. “You want to eat up that crap? Go right ahead.” Turning on your heels heading towards the castle entrance. He leapt for them, somewhat embarrassed at his eagerness. You scoffed unamused, “and by the date it was signed…they’ll be here tonight or late morning. I’ll be gone. I do not plan to speak, play nice, or even thank whoever they are. I hate them.” How childish of you. He knew you didn’t mean that. There was no real way to hate anyone you didn’t know. But your hurt feelings, and the failure of just demanding he acknowledged you…burning a hole into your chest. You stormed inside without another word, muffling your crying. He heard you until you must’ve ascended the stairs deep into the foyer towards the bedroom you chose. Then, with the clawed, crumpled papers in his clutched hands, he read and read and read. His heart racing. He didn’t think you actually were planning to leave. Or that he couldn’t make up to you somehow. Yet, you faded into the back of his mind, the exact thing you didn’t want as he hurried to ready himself and the manor for his long waited guests.

Next couple chapters may will be continued flashback. Smut + Action. We cooking with grease, now.

(Only tagging who have liked both published chapters, thank y’all! Otherwise please comment cause I will not add all them people over and over again…💕) taglist: @grimmbunniee @clevereclipsecloudcop @lifefullof-depression @nicolls187 @kindadolly @kkeidawrites @catarsis96

[diazheartsbuckley]

Fuck it Friday

Tagged by the lovely @watchyourbuck 💗

Didn’t quite make it for Friday but anyway here’s my first ever attempt at posting some of my writing ahhh

Also I apologize for any typos lol, I have not read it through ✌🏻

Eddie was barely awake when his phone vibrated on the night stand right next to his head, casting a blue hue onto the ceiling.

He normally put it on silent during the night but this night was different. He had had an argument with Buck a few days ago and they hadn’t made amends. So he didn’t want to miss a single opportunity to talk to him.

2:47 AM

“Really?” Eddie mumbled to himself and put his phone in front of his face, the words on the screen fading into one another the longer that he looked at them.

His eyes started to slowly close again but shot open as his phone vibrated once more. And again. And again.

6 unread messages

Eddie sat up further in the bed, trying to make sense of Buck’s texts that mostly just looked like he had typed while almost dropping his phone. Or had it in his back-pocket. Or a combination of the two.

Rubbing his eyes made the words or at least, letters, in front of Eddie become clearer by the second and by his third, possibly fourth re-read, Buck’s messages started to make sense. It wasn’t Eddie’s first time decoding Buck’s drunken texts.

I know that it was my fault

I’m sorry

I was wrong

Eddie don’t answer now

I need to say this

I love you

The last message was the only one without any spelling errors and it was like Eddie’s heart stopped in his chest, his mouth dried up and his phone suddenly weighed the same as a brick, his palms dropping to his thighs. He lifted the phone back up to his face, thinking that the words on the screen might have changed since then.

I love you

They had said it before but that was before they got together and it just held so much more meaning now. Yet the first time that Buck told him this was in a drunken haze and suddenly it didn’t feel that great anymore.

So he left the messages unanswered. Read but unanswered. He crawled back under his duvet but wasn’t able to sleep.

I love you too, Buck

The words were typed out, staring him right back in the face, almost provoking him to do it. Not like this.

He didn’t remember falling asleep but he was woken up by knocking on the front door. It became more and more persistent when he tried to ignore it.

Eddie got out of bed and pulled on a shirt, his head heavy after tossing and turning all night.

He unlocked the door and right as he was about to open it, someone in the hallway pushed it open and Buck stood in front of him with a sheepish expression on his face.

“Buck” Eddie breathed out like he wasn’t expecting to see him and the well of feelings that had come over in him in the night hit him like a wave. He swallowed harshly and took a step backwards into the living room, letting Buck walk past him. Eddie crossed his arms firmly across his chest, letting his eyes wander over Buck’s body and face.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me to use my key or not” Buck smiled briefly and held the key out in his hand before placing it back in his pocket.

“No, it’s fine” Eddie said, nodding slightly before he dropped his arms to his sides and walked into the kitchen.

Buck was freshly showered, the scent of his cologne following him like this delicious smelling cloud that Eddie couldn’t help but to discreetly inhale. He could never get enough of that. Buck’s baby blue eyes were however glassy and somber, now showing how he truly felt as he stepped closer to Eddie.

“You left me on read” Buck stated as he leaned against a counter, his eyes dropping to the floor.

“Yes” Once again, Eddie’s voice sounded harsher than he intended for it to be but he also couldn’t help it. “I did” He continued, leaning against the counter opposite Buck.

“I’m sorry. For all of it. I shouldn’t have said what I did the other day, it was out of line. And last night, I shouldn’t have..” Buck hesitated as he caught Eddie’s eyes with his.

The pause in Buck’s sentence didn’t help the uneasy feeling that Eddie had in his stomach and he rubbed his hands across his face to hide how it was affecting him. The only problem with that was that Buck knew him well enough to know why he was acting like that.

Buck took a few more cautious steps towards Eddie, closing the distance between them by gently placing his hands on Eddie’s hips, watching for a reaction and when Eddie didn’t move, neither did he.

“Eddie, what I said last night, I shouldn’t have written that in a text. I don’t want you to think that I only said it to end an argument because that’s not why. I said it because you make my life better. I said it because the way that I feel for you, I don’t and have never felt for someone else. Because you help me heal. In here” Buck took Eddie’s hand and placed it above his heart, Eddie keeping it steady there.

Eddie dropped his hand and moved it under Buck’s shirt, tracing the soft skin right above his hipbone. His heart was pounding against his ribs and he was almost convinced that Buck was able to hear each individual beat.

“You left me on read” Buck chuckled lightly, the tension between them slowly becoming less tangible as Eddie finally dared to make eye contact with the man in front of him.

His boyfriend. The man that he loves.

“I did” Eddie confirmed once again and Buck wrapped his arms around the back of Eddie’s neck, letting their chest touch against one another and Eddie knew that Buck would have to be able to feel his heart racing like crazy. And he was right. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before Buck glanced down between them and then back into Eddie’s eyes.

Eddie felt his cheeks slowly becoming heated and he leaned slightly away from Buck but it was too late.

“I just..” The words got caught in the back of Eddie’s mouth and he had to close his eyes briefly to compose himself. Buck closed the distance between them once again by planting a gentle kiss on Eddie’s pink lips, it was so gentle that it almost tickled instead of anything else.

Eddie ran his hands over Buck’s back, let them move across his shoulders and up to the back of his neck, his fingertips touching the soft curls that he loved so much. He kissed Buck a bit more firmly and when they broke apart, Buck’s eyes were looking softly back at him.

“Eddie?” Buck said, now feeling his pulse rise too.

“Yes?” Eddie replied, watching Buck’s body language change, his shoulders tensing slightly as he got nervous.

“I love you” Buck’s voice was filled with joy and nothing but confidence radiated on his face as he finally spoke. He loves Eddie Diaz. He loves him so much that it makes his entire body ache for more all the time. He loves him so much that he’s almost scared to say it out loud.

“I love you too, Buck. You have no idea how much” Eddie eventually said as he got over the initial shock of hearing it for the first time instead of just reading it on a screen. He loves Evan Buckley and every fiber of his being.

Tagging: @buckleyobsessed @eddiediaztho @buckleydiaz @belovedbuddie @barbiediaz @cinematics123 @buddiex 💗 (lemme know if you don’t wanna be tagged in the future)

[jinkoh]

(don't) wait up on me

wooseok x reader

summary: moving in with your childhood friend/former crush doesn't seem like a good idea but you were just so bad at saying no...

tags: childhood friends, roommates, mutual pining, slow burn, jealousy (y/n is dating someone else in between), severe case of idiots to lovers, hurt/comfort, gn reader (but wears make up/jewlery), reader is a year older, somewhat alternating pov, SFW; warnings: alcohol consumption

word count: ~13k

a/n: back with some ptg after a long time~ so i started writing this fic in september 2022 and uuuh i wasn't sure i would ever complete it but it would have been such a waste to abandon this when it already had over 10k. i wont lie this story is definitely a little messy but somehow i'm still attached, maybe just bc it's been with me for so long. either way i hope you enjoy. &go listen to navy blue or sth~

Masterlist

You'd known Wooseok since you were in first grade, when his family moved in next to yours. He was a year younger than you and so incredibly adorable. The two of you immediately grew close. Neither of you had any actual siblings but Wooseok really felt like a younger brother to you.

He followed you around so much, you probably spent more time together than apart.

Your parents were just as close and it wasn’t uncommon for both families to have dinner together. His mom clearly adored you, treating you as if you were her child as well. Their flat felt like a second home to you.

You went to the same schools too (you teased him about it, saying things like "aw, can't believe you followed me to middle school and now you're following me to high school too" without meaning anything by it, the way the tips of his ears grew red going unnoticed).

He hit a growth spurt sometime around high school, towering over most of his classmates and absolutely towering over you. Maybe things started to feel a little different to you, but you decided to ignore it. You had to ignore it in order to keep the friendship you had intact.

Even though you'd both hit puberty and all that stuff, he still didn't cut it down on the physical contact, throwing himself onto you like a giant dog that doesn't realize how big he is. The way it made your heart race felt all kinds of wrong. He was supposed to be like a brother to you!

After high school you moved away to study. You purposely chose a university a little further off, in order to put some distance between the two of you and get over this. (If Wooseok found himself tearing up a bit after sending you off he didn't let on.)

Wooseok and you had never texted much and suddenly starting with it now would have been awkward. So, aside from the one or the other "how have you been" or "look what i saw the other day" you were barely in touch, spare for the few weekends you visited home.

You found yourself missing him, but it also made you feel relieved when it gave the desired effect: You started thinking about him less, and even when you saw him the weird feelings from before had subsided.

When the time came for Wooseok to apply to universities as well, he applied to yours as well (just because it has a very good reputation for his subject of course!)

He didn't tell you, feeling kinda awkward about suddenly texting you with info like that. But when the acceptance letter came in he felt like it was too late to tell you. What was he supposed to say? By the way, I applied to your university and will go there next semester?

He didn't have to tell you though, because his mom already did it in his place.

After your move, she would send you food from time to time and the well mannered kid you were, you’d always call to give her your thanks.

In one of these calls—you wanted to thank her for the kimchi she’d sent—she told you about Wooseok being accepted to your university and looking for a place to live now.

The information caught you off guard. Of course, you hadn’t talked as much these days, but you still wondered why he didn’t tell you himself. You would have been so proud of him for getting accepted, especially since your university had a good reputation in the field he wanted to study. So why?

Still a little under shock, you barely paid attention when his mom continued on, about how she’d feel so much more at ease if she knew that Wooseok wouldn’t be by himself in the big town and how your mom had also told her that your lease was running out soon.

When a random, affirmative “mhm” of yours was met with excitement and relief at the other end of the line you knew you’d gotten yourself into something stupid.

“Really, y/n, I’m so glad that the two of you will live together. Of course, we’ll help you look for a flat.”

You didn’t quite share her excitement, but you also couldn’t back out now, not when she always treated you so well. And it wasn’t as though you were uncomfortable with Wooseok. You’d long gotten over whatever those odd feelings were!

Wooseok also wasn’t the fondest of his mom's administrations. She had practically painted him to be some lost helpless country bumpkin who wouldn’t survive a day in the city by himself. And that was the last thing he wanted you to think about him.

He'd always hated being a year younger than you, because he felt as if it caused him to miss out on so much. Not only had he never had the chance to be in the same classes with you; he also felt as if you didn’t take him seriously. Neither you nor your friends ever considered him cool. No, he was always just the cute "brother" that you took care of.

So yes, his mom doing this bothered him. But at the same time it was only thanks to her that he got to live with you now. And how could he ever hate that?

Seeing you everyday didn't really help the crush he had on you. The domesticity of it all was painful to bear; the way you looked all cute and sleepy when you got your morning coffee or how you rested your head against his shoulder as if it was nothing, while the two of you were huddled together on your tiny couch.

You got closer again too, of course you were, you were literally living together.

And even though he loved it to be close to you again, it also made him realize how truly impossible it seemed for you to see him as anything more than a friend or little brother.

It also felt as if you were drawing some kind of line between the two of you. You knew his friends and they sometimes hung out at the flat. At this point they were your friends too and when Hyunggu or whoever was hosting a party it was a given that Wooseok could bring you along.

But you never really let him spend time with your friends nor did you invite them over. It made him feel left out.

(You, of course, had a reason for that—but how would he know that?)

One evening when you got up from the couch, leaving the movie night behind in favor of getting ready to go out with your friends, he felt himself getting upset, a little jealous. Why couldn't you just stay home with him? Or your friends could come over instead? He didn't say that though. Instead he just watched you scurry around with a pout. When you retrieved something from the couch table, something inside of him snapped and he latched onto your wrist.

You chuckled the way one would laugh at the cute actions of a child and tried to shake him off, telling him you really had to get ready.

But instead of letting you go he just moved to wrap his arms around your waist.

"Can't you just stay home today?" he asked, still pouting but not looking up at you.

You felt your breathing catch and your heart skip a beat but quickly shook the feeling off. Chuckling again, you peeled his arms off and told him to stop being a baby.

He mumbled a barely audible "I'm not being a baby,” but you didn’t pay it any mind. Instead, you finished getting ready, grabbed your keys and made your way to the front door.

“Don’t wait up on me,” you shouted from the hallway, before letting the door fall shut behind you. 

The sentiment of his touch still lingered, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You knew this was bad, really bad.It was as if all the progress, the moving on, that you’d worked so hard on had gone down the drain in a split second, just because of a mere touch.

You leaned against the closed door for a moment, taking a few steadying breaths before reaching for your phone to text your best friend Claire. Sadly, your hand came up empty. You’d left your phone on the table.

But you didn’t want to go back inside, you couldn’t. So you decided to just leave, hurrying to make it on time to your meeting place with Claire.

She noticed right away that something was up with you, immediately asking if something had finally happened between you and Wooseok.

See, that’s the problem with oversharing: Even when you think they will never meet the person in question since he literally lives in a different town, you could never be entirely sure. And then you’re stuck with a best friend who knows that you used to crush on your now-roommate and teases you about it relentlessly.

When she wiggled her eyebrows at you knowingly, it was reconfirmed once more that not letting her meet him for more than a split second was the right choice. You loved Claire with all your heart, but you couldn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut.

She eventually let the topic go though, after you insisted that nothing had happened, and you made your way to the party she’d been invited to. It was her lawyer boyfriend’s crowd. Most people there seemed to be a little older than you, 4 to 5 years maybe, and so put together that you felt out of place in your worn out sneakers.

You sat in some corner nursing your drink when a guy came up to sit next to you asking if you were doing okay. He was handsome with his slicked back hair and the rolled up sleeves of his white dress shirt.

He wanted to know what's wrong and because he was so sweet and because you were already getting tipsy, you actually told him about what was preying on your mind. He listened to you calmly, letting you get it all out. Then he smiled softly. “Maybe you just needed a bit of a distraction?”

You didn't sleep with him that night. You could have, it was clear from the way he looked at you. But you hadn’t wanted to and he hadn’t pressured you either.

Instead you just talked for a really long time at the party and he walked you back to the station afterwards. You talked so much and walked so slowly that you missed your bus, so he offered to call you a cab. You declined, but he insisted.

Before the cab arrived he asked if he could have your number.

An apologetic smile crossed your face. “I actually forgot my phone.”

“Ah I see, guess I'm being rejected.” He chuckled defeatedly.

“No, I promise it’s not an excuse. I really did forget my phone. My friend scolded me about it too.”

He considered you for a moment, his gaze wandering from one eye to the other before he nodded slowly.

“Mhm, then, how about this-” He started cramming out a pen and a piece of paper from his bag, scribbling something down before he handed it to you. “I’ll just give you my number, and if you feel like it you text me. And if you don’t, you don’t. Okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

The cab arrived and he paid before opening the door for you and saying goodbye with a kiss to your cheek.

It was probably around 3 or 4 am when you unlocked the door to your apartment. You tried to be quiet, tiptoeing through the living room to get to your room, when you noticed soft breathing noises. Wooseok was curled up on the sofa, that was way too small for his height, sleeping soundly.

You walked over and pulled a blanket over him, shaking your head with a fond smile. "I told you not to wait up on me,” you whispered barely audibly, more to yourself than to him.

He blinked his eyes open and looked at you through the dark, his hand latching onto yours.

"You forgot your phone.” His voice was thick with sleep. “I was worried.”

You swallowed around the lump that was building in your throat and pulled your hand away.

"If you're awake now you should go to sleep in your bed.”

He made some grumpy noise instead of a proper reply and you just disappeared to your room.

When you were laying in bed, you still saw his sleepy eyes in front of you, looking at you through the darkness with drowsy affection.

It drove you crazy.

You tiptoed out of bed and got the little piece of paper out of your jeans pocket, before you slipped back under your blankets.

And then you texted the guy.

You met up with him a few times after that and he absolutely pampered you. He was always so sweet, inviting you to dinner or a coffee and seeing you home afterwards.

Wooseok caught on eventually, watching you with eagle eyes when you put on perfume or wore shoes that he knew you saved for important occasions. You didn't have to say you were going on dates for him to know and when he eventually asked about it you admitted to meeting someone.

It stung when he heard you say it but he couldn't stop his curiosity. So he asked more about him, his name and what he was doing and how old he was.

He immediately regretted asking. Knowing that he was older and a lawyer just made his insecurities worse. Curiosity killed the cat has never rang so true.

Why did it have to be someone older than you? Why did it have to be someone with a proper job and money while he was just some broke student?That guy would treat you to fancy dinners, while Wooseok was the pathetic roommate for whom you had to cover the rent when his money was getting tight. It haunted him but he couldn't say anything about it. What right did he have?

You started spending less time at the flat and more time with the lawyer guy.

It was good to have a distraction, you told yourself (even if it didn't really work at all. even if you were still thinking about Wooseok all the time, the way he looked at you, the way his hand felt wrapped around your wrist).

Aside from your uncooperative heart, the dates were going well. It had felt a little one sided at first, you only sharing your worries and him not sharing any of his. But as you spent more time together he also started to confide in you about stress from work. He told you about his family too, his older sister, his mom and all these things.

"Maybe you can meet them sometime" he said one afternoon and it sounded casual but when you met his eyes you felt a heavy meaning behind it.

You just smiled and nodded, saying you'd love to but feeling a little unsettled about it. Maybe it wasn't fair to meet him when you were clearly having feelings for someone else.

He noticed your sudden change in mood though and reassuringly took your hand in his.

"No pressure, dear. I'm not trying to force you into anything, okay?"

He was always like that, showing you how interested he was in you but still giving you time and space.

Eventually, he asked you if you wanted to make it official and date him. You hesitated, not sure if it was okay to say yes, but he smiled softly and told you that he didn’t mind if you didn't feel that way about him yet or that you were still hung up on your childhood friend. You could just try, right?

So you found yourself saying yes.

Dating him was nice. He still treated you well, taking you out for dinner or buying presents for you (even though you kept insisting he didn't need to). You started spending most of your weekends at his place and it almost felt as if you were living someone else's life.

His flat was big and clean and fancy. There weren't any dirty dishes on the counter (that Wooseok didn't do again), because your boyfriend had a dishwasher that took care of it. His couch too looked expensive and was actually big enough for two people to sit on comfortably. (Nothing like the small ratty couch in your flat, that barely fit Wooseok on it by himself, leaving the two of you to always huddle together in order not to fall off.)

Everything in your boyfriend's flat was better from an objective point of view. But it didn't feel much like a home.

You were at his place again that weekend, sitting together on his couch and watching TV.

After glancing at the time and realizing it was already afternoon you untangled yourself from him in order to head back.

"You don't have to go home though. You can just stay."

You shook your head. “I can’t, I have to prepare for my classes.”

“Can’t you do it from here?”

“I don’t have my things here.”

“Why not?”

"Huh?" You looked at him in confusion.

"I mean. Why don't you have some of your things here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're here every weekend anyway. Why not leave some stuff here?"

You just stared at him, not knowing how to reply. It never occurred to you to do that. Somehow you'd always felt like a guest in his home. Clearly it hadn't been his intention to make you feel that way but you did and it didn’t seem appropriate for a guest to leave things around.

"Or you know," he continued "you could also just move in. I have enough space."

You hadn’t known what to say before, but now you were completely at a loss of words. You just stared at him in disbelief. Eventually, he smiled and leaned in to you, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear before he got up from the couch.

"Just think about it, hm?"

You nodded and then he helped you gather your clothes and drove you back.

When you reached home Wooseok was  sitting in the living room. He barely acknowledged you walking in. Things had been like this between the two of you for a while now; a little awkward, a little cold. You hated it but maybe that’s what was necessary in order to get over him?

You sighed and went to the kitchen, being welcomed by a stash of dishes in the sink. It struck a nerve with you, but you didn’t want to pick a fight, so you just sighed again. After getting yourself a glass of water you disappeared into your room to prepare for classes. But somehow you couldn’t stop thinking about what your boyfriend had said. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea?

When you got out of your room later that evening with your laptop under your arm Wooseok was sitting there again (or still?). You squeezed yourself onto the couch next to him, but instead of scooting over he just got up to leave without even saying a single word.

It made you angry. Why was he treating you like this? You glared after him but when he didn't turn around you snapped. 

"Are you being serious right now?!"

He turned around then, looking annoyed. "What?"

"Are you seriously going to ignore me like this? You haven't seen me all weekend and this is what I come home to?!"

You were angry but mostly you were hurt by his behavior.

Wooseok just shrugged. "If it bothers you then don't come home I guess. You're at his flat all the time anyway, why do you even bother?"

That stung. That really really stung.

You didn't want to have tears welling up in your eyes but you couldn't help it.

"Maybe I should! He asked me to move in with him, and I might just say yes!"

You shut your laptop angrily to get back to your room. When you walked past him Wooseok was looking at you with big eyes.

"...are you really?"

You avoided his gaze. "Maybe. What's it to you?"

With that you disappeared to your room, slamming the door behind you.

After the fight you texted your boyfriend if you could stay with him for a bit. So, the next day after classes he used his break to pick you up before driving back to work. Left alone in the flat you felt a little lost. You'd never been there by yourself and somehow you were worried about touching or dirtying or using anything. What if something broke? You supposed though, that this feeling would go away if you stayed a little longer. You sat down on his couch to do your university work and then ordered food because you didn't dare to use his kitchen.

You stayed like this with him for a few days, him often working late but always making sure to call you in his lunch break. It was sweet, really.

One evening, when he came home a little earlier than usual, he caught you sitting on the couch, the pizza carton from your dinner still on the couch table. He looked at it kinda funnily and you immediately apologized for not throwing it out yet.

But he just shook his head with a smile. "Y/n, have you been ordering pizza for dinner every day this week?"

"...maybe."

He laughed softly before he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek. “You know I have a kitchen right? You're allowed to use it."

You chuckled awkwardly.  “I'll keep that in mind."

And yet, the next day, you found yourself eating pizza again.

As the end of the week approached, you realized you hadn't packed for staying a long time. Of course, you could hypothetically wash at his place but it was another thing you didn't feel comfortable doing and somehow the prospect of him handling your dirty laundry felt even worse. So, it was time to stop at home to pick up some fresh clothes …or to go home for good.

The two of you were cuddling on Thursday night, when you told him and he was mumbling into your neck that he could just drive you on the weekend. But you insisted on going by yourself. You felt it was better not to let him run into Wooseok right now but you didn't tell him that.

When you unlocked the door at home on Friday it was so quiet you assumed you were alone. You went to the kitchen to fetch your favorite tea. But as soon as you walked in, you stilled for a moment. It was squeaky clean, no dishes anywhere, nor any crumbs.

Still caught up in your surprise you didn't notice that Wooseok had walked up to the kitchen.

"You're back," he said, standing in the door frame with big surprised eyes.

Seeing him again after a few days made your chest feel warm. None of the anger of the last time you'd seen him was left, you were just glad to have him around. You looked at him for a moment before you shrugged.

"This is still my home too, you know."

"I thought… maybe you wouldn't come back anymore."

You raised the package of tea in some sort of wave. "I'm just picking up a few things."

Wooseoks face fell. "Oh."

“Yeah.” 

The air between you turned tense again, so you tried to escape the situation by slipping past him into the living room to gather some things. Wooseok silently trailed behind you like a lost puppy, as you went from room to room to put this and that into your bag. When you went over to your bed to pack your pillow, Wooseok was watching you from the door frame.

"Can't you just... stay?"

You already wanted to decline but when you looked up and your eyes met his, your heart sank. He looked so sad. You just couldn't say no to him

You put your pillow back down before you slowly nodded. "Maybe just for a bit."

The two of you made some makeshift dinner in the kitchen together and even though it was a bit of an interesting combination it tasted like heaven after days of pizza only. The rest of the evening was spent huddled together on the couch. It felt familiar and comfortable and like home. Only now you realized how much you'd missed this over the past week. 

You completely forgot that you were supposed to go back to your boyfriend, only getting reminded when your phone vibrated on the table later that night, a message popping up on the screen.

where are you?

Wooseok must have seen it too from the way he quickly averted his eyes when you glanced over at him. He was trying really hard to look anywhere but your phone screen, when you picked it up to reply. 

sorry I’ll stay home after all

Then you set your phone aside again, resting your head against Wooseok’s shoulder and focusing back on the movie.

After a while he cleared his throat.

"Don't you have to like... go back to your boyfriend or something?" It sounded timid.

"Not today."

You thought you saw a little smile tug at the corners of his lips but you didn't comment on it.

It was the first weekend in a while that you were spending at the flat with Wooseok. It really felt as if you'd never fought in the first place and you could almost trick yourself into thinking the awkwardness hadn't happened either.

But then from time to time there were small moments where you felt as if he was tiptoeing around you, like the way his hand sometimes halted before touching you and then pulled away, or how he looked at you as if you could just disappear any second.

On Monday you had to go back to your boyfriend’s place since you'd left your laptop (and other things) at his and you could only last so long without them.

Somehow you felt caught between the chairs. You knew your boyfriend would want you to stick around. But you’d only just made up with Wooseok and you didn’t want to leave him alone again. You couldn’t.

You went to his flat when you knew he was at work, messaging him that you'd pick up your things. He didn't seem happy about it but he didn't try to stop you either. What he did try though, was telling you to wait until the evening so he could drive you home. But you felt as if in the end, instead of driving you home he'd probably convince you to stay after all so you declined.

You met up with him later that week for dinner. He picked you up with a flower bouquet in his hand. Even now after you’d been dating for a while, he was still showering you in small gifts and tokens. It honestly felt a little too much, as if he was trying to buy your affection, but you tried to be grateful, since convincing him to stop hadn’t worked.

While the two of you were sitting at your table, waiting for the food to come, he asked you if you'd thought about moving in together.

“I’m not trying to pressure you,” he assured. “I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

You slowly moved your head from side to side. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve only just patched things up with Wooseok, I don’t want to risk this…”

Your boyfriend nodded but there was worry in his eyes.

"I know you don't want to hurt him. But you can't always put him first, dear. Maybe a little distance would be for the best. You need to stop waiting for something that won’t happen."

His words made you swallow. Was that really what it was? Were you waiting? And did it really have no chance of happening? 

You switched topics after that, talking about this and that, from work and university to your upcoming birthday. He asked if you’d be okay to spend your birthday evening with him since it conveniently fell onto a Saturday. Somehow you considered for a moment, racking your brains for potential reasons to decline, before ultimately saying yes when you came up empty.

After dinner, the two of you strolled through town for a bit. Most shops were already closed but you stopped here and there to gaze in through the lit up store windows. At a jeweler, your gaze got stuck on a necklace in the display. Your boyfriend noticed and smiled.

"You like that one, huh?"

"Yeah. actually—no that will probably sound childish."

Your boyfriend bumped you in the side "No, tell me."

"Actually that necklace is from an older collection. It came out years ago and I fell in love at first sight when I saw it back then."

"Oh, like what happened when I first saw you?" He grinned and you rolled your eyes before turning back to the necklace.

"I actually made a promise to myself back then. That I would buy it with my first proper paycheck."

"That's cute,” he said and it somehow made you feel childish after all. It made sense though, the price of the necklace was probably just peanuts to him with his well paying lawyer job. You shook your head and dragged him to move on. "Let’s go."

When your birthday rolled around you were woken up by a timid knock on your door. You groaned in reply and Wooseok shuffled in, a glass with chocolate milk in his hand. It was a small tradition from when you were kids to have chocolate milk with colorful sugar sprinkles on birthdays. The last time you’d done this was probably when you were around 7th grade, so him reviving this tradition now that you were living together warmed your heart.

He set it onto your night stand with a small smile. “Happy birthday, y/n.”

You sat up in bed to take a sip from it. "Thank you.”

“You have a little—” Wooseok chuckled, gesturing at his lips. “Yeah, you got it,” he continued as your tongue darted out to get rid of the milk stuck on your upper lip.

Then you realized the slightly burned smell wafting into your room.

"Uhm, Wooseok, do you have something on the stove?"

His eyes grew wide and he rushed out of the room with a panicked “Oh, no, the pancakes!”

When you came to the kitchen a little later, it was an utter mess. Wooseok was scurrying around trying to plate some slightly burned pancakes with cinnamon and maple syrup. As soon as he noticed your presence, he started pouting.

"You weren't supposed to come in," he complained, his eyes wandering to the little tray he'd started to prepare with a glass of orange juice and the plate of pancakes on it.

Seeing the effort he’d put into this (even if it didn’t go perfectly well) gave you a fuzzy feeling in your stomach. 

"Sorry," You said with an apologetic smile, feeling sorry for destroying the surprise. "But this way we can eat together?"

He was still pouting but reluctantly agreed and the two of you sat at the table to have breakfast. He told you about what he'd come up with for your birthday, giving you a bunch of options to choose from. It included stuff like watching your favorite movie, going to the zoo, taking a walk, playing laser tag, etc.

It was cute how he'd thought about what to do for your birthday but still gave you room to choose yourself. Honestly speaking, you wanted to do everything on his list.

Sadly, since you'd promised to have an early dinner with your boyfriend, that fell flat. He'd managed to reserve a table at a really fancy restaurant that had a sheer endless waiting list. So, since you’d taken your time with breakfast and would have to get ready before dinner there wasn't really that much time to do many things from the list.

You didn't dare to look up at Wooseok when you told him.

"Oh," he replied. "But, uhm, do you still want to do something before that though?"

“I’d love that.” A relieved smile washed over his face at your words.

The two of you decided to get some coffee from your favorite café and then just strolled through the park close to your college. Two geese were waddling around on the grass, loudly quacking at each other.

"Don't they kinda sound like old ladies having an argument?" You giggled.

Wooseok joined in on your laughter. "Marianne," he quacked. "Did you really bring your divorced son to church on sunday?!"

You bursted into laughter, almost spitting out the sip of coffee in your mouth.

"Listen, Karen," You chimed in, your voice funny too. "The lord forgives all."

The two of you fooled around like that for a while, Wooseok making you laugh to the point where tears formed in your eyes. You couldn't remember the last time you'd had this much fun. While your boyfriend was a sweetheart, he wasn't one to joke around that much.

After a while your eyes fell onto a clock in the park making your eyes grow wide. It was way later than anticipated and you really had to get going now in order to get ready. You didn't want to admit it but you would have much rather spend your time with Wooseok than to go to that fancy dinner. But the table was already booked and you'd promised to go. So, the two of you went home, you got ready and then waited for your boyfriend to pick you up.

The restaurant was really nice but it once again gave you that feeling of living someone else's life instead of your own. That feeling had been exciting at first, but it was slowly starting to shift to something slightly uncomfortable. Maybe you liked your own life better, burned pancakes and all.

It was just an evening though! And your boyfriend had gone all out to make this possible!

The tiny meals with their fancy names didn't mean anything to you and maybe pizza would have done the job but you smiled and nodded when asked if it was tasty. You shared a dessert, some fancy flan with liquor in it. It was a little too bitter for you but you didn't want to say. You already felt like a child between all these chic people, you didn't want to out yourself as someone with a childlike palate on top of it.

"I hope you enjoyed dinner?" your boyfriend asked with the sweetest smile

You smiled and nodded, opening your mouth when he held out a spoon full of dessert for you.

"You really didn't have to do all this though," You said after you swallowed.

"But i wanted to"

"Thank you."

"Now are you ready for your present?"

You looked at him in confusion. You thought this dinner itself was already the present. What more was going to come?

He took out a small box from his jacket and slid it over to you.

"What is this?" Your hands felt oddly sweaty. It obviously wasn't a ring – the box was long and flat – but it still looked expensive.

"Open it.”

The moment your eyes fell onto the shiny necklace inside, you started feeling sick to your stomach.

It was pretty, of course it was. Because this was your necklace. The necklace you'd wanted to buy yourself.

You didn't know what to say and just stared at it.

"Are you happy?"

You felt like crying.

No, you weren't happy at all but you also couldn't really say that after receiving an expensive gift, right?

"Uh- it's unexpected," You pressed out.

"I knew how much you wanted this."

"...Yeah"

"You were giving me a hint when you told me that story weren’t you?"

Your head shot up and you stared at him in confusion. "What?"

“I thought you were trying to tell me to get it for you, since you can't afford it.”

“No,” You whispered, your voice shaking. "I meant it when I said I wanted to get it for myself.”

"Ah, I see. But now you can just save up for something else instead." He looked caught off guard at first but quickly smiled again. “Shall we slowly get going?"

You nodded, still feeling sick. You closed the box again and stuffed it into your bag while your boyfriend paid. When you left he reached out for one of your hands but you put them into your pockets, pretending not to notice.

"You're coming home with me, right?"

You knew it had been implied in the plans to go back to his place and spend the night together. But right now you just wanted to go home.

Why did you always have to go to his place anyway? Of course, he didn't have a roommate and it was a bigger place and all that. But from time to time it would have been nice if he'd at least offered to come visit you instead of always assuming that you'd to come over…

When you didn't reply he softly nudged you in the side.

"Where are you with your head, love?"

"Ah," you looked at him before averting your eyes again. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." His hand pushed back a strand of your hair that had fallen into your forehead. "By the way, where is the necklace? Should I put it on for you?"

"I'm already wearing my scarf now." You chuckled in an attempt to make it come out more lighthearted, but it just sounded awkward. "Maybe later."

"We can just take the scarf off and put it back on?" He suggested, his hand already moving to remove it.

You stopped him by holding onto the soft fabric.

"Maybe later," You repeated with a little more force this time

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"So, should we go home?" He asked and it somehow irked you how naturally he referred to his place as home, as if it was yours too.

"I think I want to go back to my place tonight, I'm kinda tired."

He frowned. "What's up with you?"

"I just—It was just a lot today."

"Is it about the necklace?"

You didn't reply.

"Does it bother you that I got it for you?"

"I just," you pressed out, your voice feeling choked up "It was something i wanted to get for myself..."

He sighed. "Don't be so upset, dear. It was a simple miscommunication. You can just buy a different necklace or spend your money on other things.”

He  didn't seem to get your point at all.

"I don't want to spend my money on other things."

"Are you really angry at me for buying you a necklace you wanted?!"

You shrugged, fighting against the tears welling up in your eyes.

"I didn't just want the necklace. I wanted to buy it."

"Fine," he said, sounding annoyed. You couldn't remember hearing his voice like this before. "If it bothers you so much we can just bring it back and you can choose a different one. And then someday if you have the money you can buy this one for yourself.”

"It won't be the same anymore. If I buy it now it won't feel the same.”

"So what do you want me to do then?"

"I don't know. I just wanna go home."

“Okay. I'll drive you.”

You shook your head. “No, not today.”

"C'mon just let me drive you. I'll feel unsettled to let you go by yourself at this time of day."

"I'm okay. Really. So please..."

"Fine." He turned to go to his car that one of the restaurant’s workers had already driven up again.

"Wait," you followed a few steps behind.

He turned back at you with a smug smile, ready to open his car door for you. But instead he was met with the little jewelry box that you held out to him.

He sighed. "You really don't want to keep it?"

"I can't."

You watched him as he drove off and the second he was gone you crouched down on the pavement, sobbing.

You were hurt and frustrated. Of course, your boyfriend hadn't meant any harm, but it felt as if he didn't understand you at all. Him gifting you this necklace almost felt as if he was looking down on you, telling you that you wouldn't ever be able to afford it yourself anyway. Maybe you were being overly petty about this, but you wished he had at least said sorry instead of only justifying himself or trying to convince you it wasn't something to be hurt about. He'd tainted this for you and even if you'd buy this necklace for yourself someday it would always have a bitter after taste.

You cried and sobbed your heart out, ignoring the odd looks you got from people passing by. You didn't feel like getting up and walking to the station, nor did you want to sit in the tram looking like this. But you couldn't call a cab, because your boyfriend was right, you were just some dumb little girl without money.

This was probably the worst birthday you’d ever had, you thought. But then you remembered the way it started, and the memory of it managed to put a small smile on your lips.

You took out your phone and opened Wooseok’s chat.

can you pick me up? you texted, your finger hovering over the button for a while before pressing send. 

It took like two seconds before Wooseok replied and asked for your location. You sent it to him and then stuffed your phone back into your pocket, hugging your legs to your chest and waiting for him to arrive. Your cheeks felt weird from all the crying and your nose was running and you were cold and you just hoped he’d be there soon.

It probably took him around 15 minutes and you had no idea how he’d managed to do that. He came to a halt with his bicycle when he spotted you, getting off the saddle and pushing it towards you. There was worry in his eyes and his breath came out in puffs and you'd never been this glad to see someone before.

Wooseok didn't ask any questions. Instead, he just parked his bike and crouched down in front of you. He got out a handkerchief from his pocket, wiped away your tears and helped you blow your nose. You should have probably felt terrible about it, having someone younger than you take care of you like that, but you just let it happen.

He helped you up and told you to hold on tight when you got onto the back of his bicycle. You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned your head against his back. The warmth of his body felt soothing and comforting and you just let him take you home in silence.

As soon as you arrived, he absolutely babied you, making  tea and wrapping you into a cozy blanket as you huddled together on the couch.

He still didn't ask what happened and you were grateful for it, not really ready to talk about it and also unsure if maybe you'd overreacted after all and the whole fight was ridiculous.

Wooseok put on your comfort movie on the TV and you rested your head against his shoulder, feeling your eyes fall shut not even a third into the movie. 

When you woke up the next day, you found yourself tugged to bed without any memory of getting there. You were still drowsy and sleepy and not aware of your surroundings or anything, really.

Checking your phone for the time, you noticed that your boyfriend had left you a message asking if you got home safely. Seeing it made the memories of the evening return. You recalled the overly fancy dinner and most of all you recalled his oh so thoughtful gift. 

Tears immediately welled up in your eyes again and you hated it. It made you feel pathetic and as though you were making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe you really were being overdramatic, making it bigger than it was.

But it felt as if he destroyed something really important to you. It hurt.

What hurt even more was that he clearly didn't understand your problem at all. To him it was just some necklace,  he couldn't see the value behind it. He couldn't see that it was more than a necklace to you. It was a symbol of making it, of achieving something by yourself.  It stood for independence. And he took that all away from you, by buying you the one thing you didn’t want anyone else to get for you.

You set your phone aside without opening his message and buried yourself under your blanket again, unwilling to face the day yet.

It was Sunday, so with no classes to  attend you were free to do just that. For a while you drifted in and out of sleep, finding yourself sobbing into your pillow in between.

All of this made you feel so wrong.

It wasn't just the necklace. The necklace somehow triggered something bigger; it made you question your whole relationship with him. It made you question why you always felt like someone else when you were with him. As if you were a little kid trying on your mom's high heels.

And you were tired of it. You wanted your own shoes back.

After a while—you must have slipped back to sleep yet again—you heard soft knocking against your door. When you groaned in reply, the door opened a crack and Wooseok stuck his head in.

"Y/n?" he asked softly before slipping into the room and closing the door behind him, a steaming cup in his hand.

You hid your face behind the blanket, convinced that you must be looking like pure horror from all the crying. Heck, now that you thought of it you couldn't remember taking off your make up yesterday so you probably had terrible panda eyes. Probably already did by the time Wooseok picked you up yesterday. 

It was quiet for a moment, before you heard the hesitant shuffling of steps coming closer.

"I made you tea."

You didn't reply nor did you come out from under the blanket.

"Uh, I'll just–uh–put this here," he mumbled and you heard him set the cup onto your night stand.

It got quiet again and you thought he'd leave but then you felt the mattress dip as he sat down on the edge of it. He sat there for a while not really saying anything. You didn't move either.

"Are you okay?" he eventually tried again.

"I'm okay," you replied but your voice came out croaky and thin.

"Won't you come out?"

You shook your head.

"Why not?"

"I'm a mess"

"C'mon, y/n, i saw you after your wisdom tooth removal when you were drooling all over yourself. What could be worse than that?"

He had a point there. This was Wooseok after all, he already saw your most shameful sides anyway. Hesitantly, you pulled down the blanket revealing your puffy face.

Wooseok smiled at you softly. “See? I've totally encountered worse."

Now you had to giggle too and it somehow made tears roll down your cheeks again. 

Wooseok's eyes grew wide and he panicked, lifting his hands to do something, anything, against the tears but not really knowing what. Watching flail so helplessly made you giggle more which in turn made you cry more too. You wiped at the corners of your eyes still smiling as you mumbled a quiet "You're an idiot."

He shrugged. “Takes one to know one."

You just rolled your eyes at him and it got quiet again.

"Tea?" Wooseok asked after a while.

You nodded before sitting up in your bed, leaning against the headboard. He reached out to you, as if he was trying to help you sit (even though you clearly didn't need the help) before he moved his attention to the tea instead, passing the cup to you. You took it in both hands, blowing on it a few times before taking a careful sip.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

You didn't look up at him and stared at the steam of your cup instead. "I don't know."

"You don't have to"

"It's probably stupid anyway."

"If it makes you cry like that it isn't stupid."

You swallowed, feeling tears well up yet again at his words. For fucks sake why couldn't you just stop crying already?!

You shrugged. “We went out for dinner."

"Okay," he replied patiently.

"He bought me jewelry."

"Mhm."

"A necklace."

"Okay."

"...It was my necklace," you finally supplied, convinced that Wooseok wouldn't even remember and that you'd have to explain more.

But the moment you said it his eyes widened in surprise "The first paycheck necklace?"

Somehow it moved you that he remembered it.

You nodded slowly.

"And did he uh... did he know?"

"...Yeah."

Wooseok frowned at you. "Then why would he buy it?!"

Relief washed over you when he asked that, making you feel less like an overdramatic nuisance and more as if your frustration about this was actually valid

"He meant well," you mumbled.

"You don't have to defend him."

"He thought i really wanted it," you defended him anyway.

"But you didn't just want it. You wanted to buy it yourself and he knew that."

You nodded. "Yeah."

He nodded too, realizing that maybe his words weren't the most comforting.

"I'm sorry that happened, y/n"

"Thank you."

"...so what will you do?"

"About him? I don't know..."

Wooseok hadn't meant him, he'd meant the necklace. But when you seemed so unsure about being with your boyfriend a small part of him felt hopeful, almost glad.

He immediately shushed that part though. You were having a horrible time and there was nothing he hated more than seeing you unhappy. This wasn't the time to hope for anything.

"Do you- uh," he interrupted himself, not sure what to do with himself. "Can I do anything for you?"

"Turn back time maybe?"  A shallow laugh escaped your lips.

"You know I would," he said. And he meant it. If he could, he would turn back time to before you even met that guy. "But is there anything a little less impossible?"

Honestly, all you wanted right now were comfort cuddles, but you didn't know if you could ask for that. You stared at the tips of your fingers that were wrapped tightly around the tea cup.

"Maybe we could watch a movie?"

He smiled fondly and nodded.

"Wanna move to the living room then?"

You hesitated. "No."

"Oh." he blushed and looked away from you. "Okay. I'll uh get my laptop then..."

He got up again to leave, but before reaching the door he turned back around to you

"What about food?"

You shrugged.

"I'll get you something."

"...Thank you"

After a while, he came back, carrying way too many things at once as he maneuvered himself into the room. He had his laptop under his arm, a package of waffles in one hand, a small bowl with cut up apples in the other and it seemed like he had something in the pocket of his hoodie too.

You had to chuckle when you saw him coming in

"Do you need help?"

"Mostly I need you to scoot over a bit."

You obliged and he carefully set the food on your nightstand while you pulled out the laptop from underneath his arm.

He halted for a moment before he sat down next to you, slipping under the blanket that you held up for him.

Whatever was in his pocket was making a rustling plastic noise as he sat down.

"Ah, right," he mumbled, pulling out the package of cleansing tissues you usually kept in the bathroom and handing it over to you.

"You know, in case you want to..." He vaguely gestured at his face.

"That bad, huh.” You grabbed the package from his hand with a chuckle.

"It's fine."

You wiped your face, all the smeared left over makeup coming off, while he set up his laptop.

"So, what do you want to watch?" 

"Something corny and romantic."

He scrunched up his face but didn't reject the idea. Instead he googled romantic movies and put on one that he'd heard of before.

In hindsight though, it probably hadn’t been the best choice.

You were munching on a waffle that Wooseok had passed to you as the first scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's rolled over the screen, Audrey Hepburn longingly staring at the bracelets behind the display window.

Wooseok noticed his mistake immediately but it was already too late. When he glanced over at you, big elephant tears were running down your cheeks again, dripping onto the waffle you were eating.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know— should I put on something else?"

You shook your head, still munching on the tear drained waffle.

"I gave it back to him," you mumbled between bites, your eyes still focused on the laptop screen where the movie continued.

"That's good."

"I really wanted to buy it."

"You could still buy it?"

You shook your head again before resting it against Wooseok's shoulder. You felt him tense up for a moment at the sudden proximity.

"It wouldn't be the same."

"... Yeah. I know."

For a while it was silent except for the sound of the movie running, but then Wooseok softly raised his voice again.

"We'll find something new." He scooted down on your bed a bit so he could rest his head against yours.

"We'll find something new that you can gift yourself. And then we won't tell anyone about it so no one can beat you to buying it because no one will know."

"You will know."

"Yeah. But I'd never buy it for you."

"Pinky promise?" You held out your hand in front of him and he intertwined your finger with his

"Pinky promise."

You knew you couldn’t just ghost your boyfriend forever, he didn’t deserve that. So after holing up at home with Wooseok the rest of the weekend, you decided to face the music on Monday. 

You wrote him a message, telling him you got home well and if he was okay to meet up with you one of these days. The two of you decided on Tuesday. He asked if he should pick you up after classes and take you back to his place but you declined, asking for a walk in the park instead.

Frankly speaking, you weren’t sure how the conversation would go. You weren’t sure what consequences would be drawn for the two of you. But whether you’d break up or not you had the urge to meet in a neutral place. Somehow throughout this relationship, you’d always intruded in his places. Starting with the party where you met, a party of his friends where you’d barely belonged, and continuing from there: His home, his car, his favorite restaurants, the cafés he recommended—you were always his guest. But this time, you needed to be on equal footing.

“Are you going to… break up with him?” Wooseok asked hesitantly between spoons of ice cream, when you told him about it on Monday evening.

“I don’t know,” you replied truthfully, before dipping your spoon into the shared family pack that was sitting on the couch table.

He nodded. “Just do what feels right.”

“I’ll try.” 

“Should we leave some of the ice cream in case you need it tomorrow?”

You looked at the box thoughtfully before taking another spoonful. “Nah, I don’t have that kind of self-restraint.”

“Thank god.”

“You know,” you mindlessly started again. “I wish I could have felt at home with him the way I do with you.”

Wooseok looked at you with an unsatisfied frown. "Why? Is it not enough when it's me you feel at home with? Isn’t one home enough?"

You giggled. “No, I think you’re right. It’s enough, as long as I have you.”

You weren’t sure what you’d had expected, but somehow everything felt off and different when you met your boyfriend on Tuesday. It was as if a single weekend had made strangers out of you. 

From the moment your eyes met each other on your campus, the two of you were stiff. You didn’t know how to greet him. Were you supposed to kiss and hug? That’s what you usually did but today you didn’t want to.

Seemingly, your boyfriend had similar struggles because he just awkwardly raised his hand in a wave.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” you replied.

You stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say before he nodded in the direction of the park. “Should we go?”

“Yeah…”

The weird silence returned as you set foot into the park and continued for quite a while afterwards. You could hear the geese quacking in the distance and you would have said something about it if the one walking with you had been Wooseok. But it wasn't.

“So,” he said eventually. “You didn’t just meet me to take a walk in silence right?”

“No.”

“Well, then talk.”

“I just… I felt really hurt about the present to be honest,” you carefully started.

He scoffed. “Yeah, I noticed.”

You immediately regretted bringing it up. Maybe you were being stupid for making such a fuss after all.

But then Wooseok’s words rang in your head again giving you a little confidence. If it makes you cry like that it isn't stupid.

You took a deep breath.

“I told you that I wanted to buy this necklace for myself and what it meant to me. So when you just bought it for me, it felt as if you didn’t listen to me.”

“I already told you it was a misunderstanding. Usually when your date brings up jewelry it’s because they want it. So I just assumed—is it really something to be so dramatic about?”

You frowned. “I’m allowed to feel hurt about this.”

“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.” 

He didn’t actually roll his eyes but his expression and the tone in his voice made you feel like he did. It was obvious that he didn’t feel sorry at all. And what kind of apology was that anyway? I’m sorry you feel that way? Shouldn’t it be I’m sorry I made you feel that way? But maybe you were being nit-picky.

When you didn’t reply he sighed. “So what now?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Are we seriously breaking up because of a mere necklace?”

“I wasn’t–'' You interrupted yourself. What were you going to say? That you weren’t going to break up with him? Were you really not? 

You shook your head defeatedly. “It’s more than that. But that you can’t see that and that it’s still just a mere necklace to you is part of the problem.”

“Well, if I can’t see it then explain it to me!” The way he raised his voice made you flinch, but you tried your best to stay composed and not let any insecurity show on your face.

Still, your voice quivered when you spoke up. “I just—I feel so small when I’m with you.”

“Small? That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault. But when we’re together I feel small and pathetic. I just do. And I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”

He laughed. “Is this about him? Is he finally returning your feelings now?”

“What?! No! This is about me.”

“Sure, whatever. You can come pick up your things while I’m at work then.”

“I don’t have any things left at your place.”

“Right,” he sneered. “Even better then.”

He turned to walk away, just like that, leaving you standing in the park. You felt yourself choke up. How did things turn out this way? He’d been so sweet all this time, treating you so well. How could everything go down the drain like this? He’d always seemed so mature to you, so why was it you couldn’t talk things out with him?

The geese were closer now, waddling over the green lawn. They were quiet, no conversations of stuck up church ladies to be heard. Not that it made a difference.

With heavy steps you made your way home, bursting out in tears as soon as the door closed behind you. You knew that Wooseok was still at a lecture at this time, so nothing stopped you from crouching down on the floor and sobbing into your knees until no more tears were coming out. Then you trudged over to the couch and buried yourself under pillows and blankets.

Your mind briefly wandered to the ice cream and you were regretting now that you hadn’t saved any for today. 

You must have fallen asleep at some point, because when you woke up, Wooseok was crouching down in front of the couch, looking at you with a worried frown.

“You okay?” He asked, even though you so obviously weren’t.

You shook your head, it was no use keeping up fronts with him anyway.

“Ice cream?”

“We ate it all yesterday.”

A winning smile tugged at his lips. “I bought a new one on my way home.”

“You’re the best. I really love you.”

You hadn’t meant to say that. Or maybe you had, but you clearly hadn’t meant anything by it. Friends say that sometimes, right?

Yet, you noticed the way Wooseok’s ears turned red as he stood up. He cleared his throat. “I’ll get us some spoons.”

“Thanks,” you croaked, desperately trying to play it cool. You’d only just broken up with your boyfriend today, it clearly wasn’t the right time for whatever this was.

He came back with the ice cream and the spoons, motioning for you to scoot over so he could sit next to you. Huddled together on the couch, you put on some movie and watched in silence, eating ice cream until you felt sick. Wooseok didn’t pressure you to tell him what happened, but you knew if you wanted to talk about it, he’d listen to you.

You didn’t feel like talking about it though, not yet. For now you just wanted to sit on the couch together, enjoying the familiarity of it all. 

Eventually you felt yourself getting tired, your eyes unable to focus on the screen anymore, so you excused yourself to go to bed. As soon as you were lying in bed though, you were wide awake again, the argument with your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—playing on repeat in your restless mind. You kept tossing and turning, unable to calm your thoughts. 

It wasn’t necessarily that you regretted the break-up; how could you stay in a relationship that made you feel like you didn’t belong? But it hurt nonetheless. Despite everything you’d liked being with him. It hurt that it ended like this and it hurt that it ended at all.

Tears were welling up in your eyes again and you sobbed into your pillow, trying to muffle the sounds. You’d lost count of how often you’d cried over the past few days.

When you dragged out of your room around noon the next day, you found a very surprised Wooseok in the kitchen.

“Y/n? Don’t you have classes?”

You shrugged, before plopping down at the small kitchen table. “I‘m skipping.”

Wooseok frowned, worry written all over his face. But he didn’t comment on it further.

“Coffee?” He lifted the can, shaking it lightly. 

When you nodded he got your favorite mug from the cupboard and poured you some, just the way he knew you liked it. You briefly wondered if your ex would have known how you drink your coffee.

Wooseok put the steaming mug onto the table in front of you before he sat down as well.

“You look tired,” he mumbled after a while. “Were you able to sleep?”

You shrugged again, not really knowing what to tell him. You’d barely gotten rest but it also felt too much to admit to that fact. “It’s fine.”

He didn’t seem satisfied at all but he didn’t press further.

“I have classes later, do you want me to bring something on the way back?” A small encouraging grin appeared on his lips. “More ice cream?”

Despite feeling miserable, the question got a little chuckle out of you. “I never thought I would say this but I think I’ve had enough ice cream for a while.”

“Alright, anything else? Or uhm—,” he halted, clearly contemplating if it was okay to address this or not before he continued. “Do you need me to pick anything up from his place?”

“No, I don’t have anything left there. Thank you though.”

He nodded. “It’s no problem.”

“Wooseok?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Wooseok chuckled. “You already said that?”

“No, I mean—thank you for being there for me.”

His eyes looked at you so fondly, it almost made your heart ache a little bit. 

“Of course I am there for you. I—,” he halted. “I’m your friend.”

Somehow the break up was taking a real toll on you. Even though you hadn’t been dating for long, you felt incredibly lonely and there were all kinds of other feelings too that you didn’t want to address. It was a terrible thing to say, but despite the relationship in hindsight not being the best for either of you, you’d been grateful for the distraction it had provided. Now that it was over, you were alone again. Alone in your bed, alone with your thoughts, alone with your stupid feelings for someone you shouldn’t be having feelings for at all.

Your emotional tumult kept you tossing and turning night after night, leaving you tired and exhausted in the mornings.

Wooseok had noticed; you were convinced he had. He kept looking at you with worried eyes, clearly unsure if he should say anything or not. But what was he supposed to say anyway? It’s not like he could solve this.

Struggling to fall asleep yet another night, you eventually peeled yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen. Maybe drinking a cup of herbal tea could help you find some rest. You sat down at the table sipping on your tea when you heard a door open and Wooseok’s shuffled steps shortly after that as he followed the source of light to the kitchen.

He eyed you with a drowsy frown. “Why are you awake?”

You shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you up?”

He ignored your question, the furrows between his eyebrows deepening even more. “You haven’t been sleeping these days, have you?”

You averted your gaze, almost feeling as if he was scolding you. “I’ve just been overthinking a lot.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Wooseok took a seat across from you. “Maybe I could have helped you?”

“How?” You huffed a laugh. “By staying awake as well?”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” 

Judging by Wooseok’s pout, you’d sounded a bit too sarcastic. You blamed it on your lack of sleep but you still felt guilty. You tried your best to soften up a little, giving him your best attempt at a smile when you replied.

“At least one of us should get some decent sleep though.”

“Still,” he shrugged. “We could have come up with a solution together.”

“For example?”

“We could watch a movie until you feel sleepy,” he mumbled, and then even quieter, “or you could sleep in my room…”

“Huh?”

“Just—! Just because it’s easier to sleep when you’re not alone.”

Of course it wasn’t a good idea to agree to this. But recalling how lonely you’d felt in your bed you couldn’t help but think that he had a point. 

“Maybe,” you said reluctantly, your voice barely a whisper. “Maybe we could try that?”

Despite being the one who suggested it, Wooseok seemed completely caught off guard, looking at you with wide, round eyes. He visibly swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“I mean, only if it doesn’t bother you.” You didn’t dare to meet his gaze. “But I guess it was a joke—”

“No,” he interrupted. “It wasn’t a joke.”

Just like that, you found yourself awkwardly standing in Wooseok’s door frame a little later, your pillow and blanket slung over your arm. Wooseok sat on the edge of his mattress, his pillow and blanket shoved to one side to make space for you. You’d been to his room a zillion times before, but it felt so different now, so much more intimate.

“You can come in, you know.”

“Right.” Your whole body felt tense as you stepped inside, closing the door behind you. This was a terrible idea indeed.

You let your pillow and blanket fall onto the mattress before crawling into bed, trying to take up as little space as possible. It was weird, really, because you’d never been this careful around him. You were touching all the time, when you squeezed past him in the kitchen or when the two of you huddled together on the couch. Yet, now just the thought of accidentally touching him made your heart race.

Once you’d settled in, he laid down as well, looking stiff as a board.

“I’ll turn the light off,” he commented, already reaching out for the switch of his bedside lamp.

“Right,” you replied once more.

For a moment you just laid in his bed, side by side staring into the darkness. You didn’t turn around to look at him, but you knew he wasn’t asleep. He seemed tense, and you had a feeling he wanted to say something, but it took ages until he finally spoke up. His voice was barely audible, something that didn’t happen often when it came to Wooseok. Still, you heard him just fine.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.”

“Did you—Do you love him?”

“I—,” you started, instinctively wanting to tell him that yes, you did, you do. But you stopped yourself in favor of being honest. What was the use of lying about this, especially now that it was over anyway? 

“No. But I thought maybe I could.”

“Is that why you dated him? Because you wanted to fall in love with him?”

“Is that so wrong?”

“No, it’s just—I don’t get it. Shouldn’t it come naturally?”

When you turned to look at him, his gaze was already on you, his eyes big and round in the halflight of the room. 

“You can’t force yourself to fall in love. You can’t force yourself to fall out of love either.”

For a moment you felt unsettled. Did he catch you? Did he realize your feelings? Unsure what to make of it, you just stared at him through the darkness without replying.

“I’m just saying—,” he added, breaking eye contact. “You don’t have to try so hard.”

You swallowed, your mouth feeling dry. “Yeah,” you whispered. “Thank you.”

He didn't say anything after that and eventually his breathing got slow and even. You couldn't sleep though. His words kept you awake, filling you with a longing for things to be easy, natural, as he'd said. 

"I did it for you too, you know," you almost unconsciously mumbled into the silence, well aware that Wooseok was already sleeping.

Except he wasn’t.

"What do you mean?"

Your eyes widened at the sound of gis raspy voice and you instinctively sat up, ready to escape. "No," you quickly pressed out, "nothing. Maybe I should—"

Before you could say anything about going back to your own room, you felt Wooseok's hand on your own. He wasn't holding onto you and you could have easily pulled away, but it felt warm and comforting covering your own.

"What do you mean?" he asked again.

You let a beat pass by, unsure if you should be honest with them. As though he sensed your indecisiveness, Wooseok gave your hand a little squeeze. 

"What did you do for me?" His voice was so soft, you could barely hear it.

"Dating," you whispered. "Dating him."

You thought you saw him frown. "How could that have been for me?"

You felt a lump in your throat that made it hard to speak. But you'd already been this honest, maybe it was for the best to just lay it all out in the open.

"To get over you," you pressed out.

It was silent. You felt his gaze on you but you didn't dare to look at him. The mattress dipped a little as he sat up too, his hand still on yours. "Why?"

"Because I—," you started but Wooseok wasn’t done yet.

"Why did you think you had to get over me?" He almost sounded sad, and then he definitely did when he tentatively added: "Did it work?"

When you finally turned to look at him, there was desperation in his eyes but maybe also just the tiniest bit of hope.

"No," you admitted. "Not at all."

He let out a sigh you thought was relief as he let his head drop onto your shoulder, just to look up a second later with big black eyes. "Don't try again."

You felt your heart stop at the implication of his words. 

"Why would you try that, when all I wanted all this time was for you to see me?" He still didn’t avert his eyes and neither did you.

"I did," you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his. "I do,” you added.

He tilted his chin up, the tiniest bit, making the tip of his nose touch yours. You saw the way his gaze dropped to your lips and you felt his breath on your skin. You swallowed, your whole body thrumming with nerves. Your eyes searched his for something, and even though you weren’t sure what it was exactly, you thought you found it. You leaned in to kiss him in the same moment that he did, your teeth clashing for a brief moment. You chuckled and he chuckled too, and then you leaned in again, no teeth this time, just lips and love and butterflies.

You didn't remember how or when you'd fallen asleep. You didn't think you'd been wrapped up in Wooseok's long limbs then as you were now, but you couldn't be too sure. It took you a second to realize where you were and who it was that was koala-hugging you, and then another second to remember yesterday's conversations. You glanced over at his peacefully sleeping face at your side, not a trace of the desperation there that you'd seen at night. It hadn’t been a mere dream, right?

You tried to peel yourself out of his grasp, but Wooseok wouldn't let you go, making a whiny noise in complaint. Defeated, you let yourself relax back into the pillow, soaking up his warmth until he woke up.

You thought he'd be flustered once he'd wake up, and maybe he was, but he still didn't let go, instead nuzzling closer and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

"That tickles," you said with a giggle. The little sorry he mumbled into your skin tickled even more.

You felt giddy, your stomach filled with butterflies at this display of affection, but at the same time there was a sense of insecurity. What did it all mean exactly? Of course you knew what you wanted it to mean, but was Wooseok on the same plate?

“Wooseok?”

“Hm?” He lifted his head to look at you. His eyes were sleepy and his black hair tousled.

“What now?”

He frowned in confusion. “Breakfast, I guess?”

“No, I mean—what do we do now? About us.”

“So, no breakfast?” He asked and you gave him a little roll of your eyes.

“I’m being serious, you know.”

“I’m also serious,” he replied, and then in a little whisper added, “About us, about you.”

“So we’re doing this, huh? Dating, I mean.”

“Yeah.”

You felt your chest tighten. “We’re not going to mess this up, right?”

He pulled you closer, nuzzling back into your neck. “No. We’re not. We’ll be okay.”

 You smiled and closed your eyes as you relaxed into his arms. “Okay.”

“Where are you going?” Wooseok asked, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on top of your head, watching through the mirror as you fixed your makeup. 

“Meeting with Claire and them,” you said. You hesitated for a moment before adding, “you can come along, if you want.”

You saw surprise flash through his eyes. After all, you’d never asked him to come along before. But you’d figured now that he already knew about your feelings for him, there wasn’t really any reason to keep him away from your friends anymore. 

“Hm,” he hummed as if he was contemplating. “Not today, I’m in a couch mood.”

You chuckled. “Another time then.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll be late, though.”

“I’ll wait.” 

Memories of the way he’d fallen asleep on the couch last time, worried since you’d forgotten your phone, crossed your mind, and you wondered if you’d find him just the same way tonight. Except, this time you wouldn’t have someone else’s number in your pocket and you wouldn't shake off his hand if he reached out to you.

Masterlist

[notanettelmao]

The Tell pt. 1

Also on AO3

(A Teen Wolf Rewrite)

Fandoms: Teen Wolf, Supernatural Warnings: usual TW and SPN stuff Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x reader Words: 1,8k

<back // next>>

Tags: @venomsvl  @celestair  

If you wanna be tagged let me know!

Y/N was with Derek when he heard about the attack at the video store. He took off in the direction of the store, leaving her behind. She swore, looked around, and started running after him. 

When she finally got there, he and Scott were climbing the rusty ladder on the side of the building. Y/N rolled her eyes and climbed after them. Scott said hi to her while Derek stared at her as if he wasn't expecting her to follow him. He then turned to Scott.

"Starting to get it?" He asked, leaning over the edge to look down in a way that didn't make him visible to the people on the ground under them. Scott did the same.

"I get that he is killing people. I don't get why." Scott mumbled. Y/N walked a few steps toward the edge to take a look at the scene. 

"I mean, we don't go out in the middle of the night murdering everyone, do we?" Y/N turned to look at Scott. 

"Werewolves are predators. Not killers." She said. Derek agreed, not looking away from the people on the street.

"Then why is he a killer?" Scott asked looking at his friend and then at the older werewolf.

"That's what we are going to find out. Y/N, how does this look like from the perspective of a hunter?" Derek turned towards her. The youngest Winchester took a deep breath and stepped away from the edge of the roof.

"It must have been a rogue omega. He killed Laura to get the alpha power, which we already knew. We know that he wants to build a pack, and that's why he bit Scott. But something isn't right here. Why didn't he bite anyone else? I'll need to do some research on my own, maybe I will take Stiles with me because he can get us the police reports. I need to know if there were organs missing or if he is just killing for the fun of it." Y/N looked at her phone, texting Stiles to meet her a few blocks away from the video store.

"You do that. I'm gonna take Scott to the house for a bit. I'll see you later," Derek waved a hand her way and then ran off the roof, Scott following him. Y/N groaned when she realized she will have to climb the ladder down

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

The youngest Winchester got to the meeting point at the same time as Stiles parked his jeep on the side of the road. She quickly jumped into the passenger seat and told him to drive to his house. She needed his whiteboard for this.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Stiles asked as they got into his room. He sat on his bed and watched Y/N pace around the room picking different stuff up and then wiping his whiteboard so she had a clean space to work with. She ignored his question and wrote 'THE ALPHA' in capital letters in the middle of it, then drew lines around it and started writing everything they knew already.

"I need you to look in your dad's files to see if there were any bodies found dead with their heart missing in the towns around Beacon Hills." Y/N turned to look at Stiles who was reading the words on the board, looking really interested. 

"You think it could be the bad kind? The one you told me about?" He was suddenly up, looking worried. Y/N swallowed and nodded. 

"I have a bad feeling. And I need another wolf to talk to about it. Not Derek. And not Scott, Scott hasn't been a werewolf for long." She ran her fingers through her hair. 

"I guess we have one more Hale we can visit." He said quietly. Y/N nodded. 

"I'll go see him. I need you to go look through the folders. Look for the missing hearts and anything that could be a clue." She quickly dropped the parker on Stiles' table and turned to walk out, but stopped in between the door.

"I don't have a car." She turned back to look at Stiles. He let out a laugh and then motioned for her to follow him.

"Come on, I'll take you there."

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

Peter lived on the side of Beacon Hills where Lydia did. The rich part of town. He moved into his house right when he was let out of the hospital after his miraculous recovery. Y/N actually helped him and Derek to pick the place and get him used to being around people again. No one really recognized Peter in town, which saved them a lot of explaining about how the hell he was walking and talking after spending six years in a coma.

Y/N thanked Stiles for the ride and closed the car door. She watched him drive away and then let herself in through the gate. She walked up the stone steps towards the front door and knocked. She didn't have to wait long before Peter opened it, frowning. When he saw her he smirked.

"Ah, Winchester. What can I do for you?" He asked, moving to the side so she could walk in. 

"Hi, Peter. Nice to see you too. Are you doing better?" She lifted an eyebrow at him and took off her shoes. She put them on the shoe rack in the huge hallway. 

"Did you come over only to ask me how I was doing or do you actually need something?" He led her towards the kitchen. 

"Oh, I just wanted to talk." She sat on one of the chairs at the kitchen island and put her phone in front of her.

"Talk? About what? And where is my nephew? Does he still refuse to buy a normal living space and tortures himself by sleeping in the burned-down house?" He pulled out two cups and started the coffee maker. 

"Derek is currently at the old house with Scott. And yes, he still lives there. He is way too stubborn to listen to us. Even though it would be safer for him to move somewhere else now that Kate is in town. That woman is a whole new level of crazy. But that's not why I'm here. I need to talk to you about werewolves. And about how they go rogue." Peter turned to look at her. 

"Why don't you ask your uncle about it?" He asked and placed one of the full coffee cups in front of her. 

"My uncle was in an accident a few days back. I don't really want to bother him now, as I am sure he and my brothers have a lot of stuff to do because the Leviathans are getting all around the USA." 

"Yes, I remember you telling me about him being shot. What do you need to know?" Peter sat down on one of the chairs on the other side of the island.  

"How does a wolf go rogue?" Y/N asked. 

"Depend on the situation. You can be kicked out of the pack, and then if no other pack wants you in, you lose it. You start going more and more feral. That's how omegas are made, but omegas are usually born wolves that go feral. The bitten omegas are more..." Peter stopped talking, thinking about how to say it correctly.

"They're the worst kind, right? The ones that feed on the hearts of humans?" Y/N asked quietly. Peter nodded.

"Yes, they are the worst. I don't know how, but they actually became weak to silver. Us born wolves aren't." 

"I know. It is a myth connected to the Argents as they are the oldest line of hunters ever." Y/N agreed. She then pulled her father's journal from the bag she had brought with her. 

"Can you look over this to see if there are correct facts?" She pushed the journal towards Peter, who took it in his hands carefully.

"It was my father's and my brothers left it with me just in case I needed it. And I know you know a lot of stuff about the supernatural as you yourself are supernatural. Also, Derek told me you used to have a lot of different bestiaries and other books before..." Y/N didn't finish the sentence when she noticed the pained look on his face. 

"Why are you asking me all this? You think the alpha is a bitten wolf?" Peter asked. The girl nodded. 

"If it was a born wolf someone would know something. There are not that many of you anymore and my brothers keep tabs on all of the packs with born wolves. They would know if one of them went rogue." Y/N explained.

"Did you tell any of this to Derek?" 

"No, are you crazy? You know him. He would go right after the guy and get himself killed in the process." She took a sip of her coffee and watched Peter as he agreed.

"If you are right, and you probably are... We are going to need all the help we can get. Derek is not as strong by himself, your friend Scott still doesn't really know how to have control over his shift, and the sheriff's kid is a skinny human who talks too much. Even with the help of your angel friend, my wolf is not healed fully yet. You are probably the strongest of us right now with your hunter training." Y/N knew what Peter wanted her to do. 

"I can't call them here Peter. They have a lot of stuff going on, I told you the Leviathans are everywhere-" 

"Y/N, you are creating a pack around yourself. The alpha is going to see you as a threat." Peter said as if it was nothing. Y/N froze in her seat.

"I'm creating a pack around myself? How is that possible? I'm not an alpha, not even a werewolf." The youngest Winchester looked so confused Peter had to laugh.

"It is possible. You have to have the right amount of Spark to pull it off. You are a Winchester. You and your brothers stopped multiple apocalypses. The angels watched over you. You went against multiple gods and came out alive. There is no one else that could do all that."

"So what, I'm an alpha, but not really?" Y/N cringed as she said that. It sounded ridiculous.

"Something like that." Peter shrugged and got up from his chair with her journal in his hands.

"If you'll need me I'll be in the library." With that, he walked away.

"Okay, hold up. You can't just drop that and walk away! Peter!" Y/N yelled as she watched his back disappear up the stairs. 

"You son of a bitch." She let out a sigh and put her empty cup in the sink. Her phone buzzed at the same time. She quickly picked it up and looked at the new text. 'There are at least 4 cases where bodies were missing hearts' was all it said. 

"Shit." She let out as she grabbed all of her stuff and ran out of the door. 

[aiiku]

hung up.

fushiguro megumi x gn reader

word count ~1k

synopsis letting go of the past is hard when the present is so lonely.

tags a little fluff, a little angst, reminiscing a relationship, regrets, one mention of itadori being a bad friend™.

notes prompt: memory. this turned out to be 888 words which is the angel number for karma and i feel like that should mean something to this fic. who knows what, though? enjoy (:

+

the past should stay where it was left, but megumi's got a nasty habit of holding his shirts in his hands and scouring the corners of his mind for any pictures of you wearing this piece. it's hard to leave the past behind when it's woven into the fabric of everything he has: the peaches sitting in his fridge even though he's always found their skin too fuzzy; the way he drops certain letters because the words only sound right when he says it like you would; the brown stain on the collar of this very shirt that neither of you really bothered to get out.

they say you shouldn't forget the past, but he doesn't think that means he should do his best to remember every single detail of it. he's never been all that good at listening to other people when he doesn't want to.

they say you shouldn't forget the past, unless you want history to repeat itself. and megumi wants beyond all the hope left in the world that history repeats itself, but he can't bring himself to empty his mind in the process when he stares down at the mark on his clothes.

soy sauce. vegetable dumplings. too much on too little a spoon, but you made it work for most of the journey up to his mouth. it was sweet on his tongue, sticky on his neck when you spilled it inches away from him.

"you're gonna love it," he remembers you promising.

back then, he didn't have the voice to say the things he really wanted to, so instead of admitting, "yeah, probably. i love whatever you make," he had said, "we'll see."

and instead of telling you how grateful he is that you made anything for him — that you had stayed up to do this for no reason, for him, for someone who really wasn't worth the lost hours of sleep no matter how much you'd argue otherwise — all he left you with was an, "it's good. thanks."

he remembers the way you'd fretted over him right after. one finger scooped up the liquid, fighting over the gulp of his throat before you'd popped it into your mouth. like it didn't matter that he was battle-sweaty and grimy.

you'd smiled up at him, then, sweeter than the sauce marinating the grooves of his tongue and at the tip of it were the words, "you missed a spot," because he wanted to feel your hands on his body once more.

instead, he had cleared his throat, muttered another pathetic, 'thanks,' and turned to wash his face.

no amount of water could rid him of your touch and his hands clench when he thinks about how much he'd flushed back then.

cold water. cheeks too hot. you had offered to help, but you'd stood by his side instead when you saw his face. a smirk on your face. tapping the counter.

"are you blushing?" he ignored you.

"did you like that?" you nudged his hip. he continued to ignore you.

"want me to drop some more on you and do that again?"

he shook his hand off in your direction because that was so much easier than saying, "yes. yes. yes."

you squeaked when the water splashed onto your face, high-pitched like a mouse. cuter, but just as annoying. when he turned to wipe his hands on the towel, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pushed your face between his shoulder blades, and dried yourself on his clothes.

then, he had sat down at the table and finished his meal, and you had sat down right next to him until he was done eating. he hadn't washed the dishes that night because you were getting tired. instead, he left them on the table and took you to bed.

and he'd wanted to slip in right beside you because you wouldn't let go of him — clinging to him like he's the collar and you're the stain — but he had needed to shower, so he left you there.

his shirt went in the hamper. he can't remember what happened after.

he tosses it back into his cupboard and moves onto the next thing.

megumi's birthday is just before christmas.

itadori is a bad friend.

putting those two facts together leads to one very simple conclusion in the form of a t-shirt with santa claus and the words 'i do it for the ho's' plastered across it.

it was a gag gift — "a little something because your real present hasn't come yet. sorry, bro!" — and he remembers asking itadori if he'd kept the receipt for it because there was no way he was ever going to wear this. not even if he needed to get his hands dirty.

but you had thought it was hilarious.

and because you had thought it was hilarious, he had never done anything with the receipt. he'd worn it more times than he'd ever imagined he would, but only in your presence. all because it would make you smile and giggle and ask, "am i a ho? am i at least your favourite one, megumi?" every time you saw him in it.

it hits the bottom of his cupboard, he moves onto the next thing—

and he wonders if these vague memories are all he'll have left of you.

[rge-nini]

15:21 (S.JY)

pairing: jake sim x reader

word count: 1078

tags: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, study date

a/n: this was my first (and only) timestamp lmao. originally posted on @heelvsme

"When you solve this equation you have to use X and Y on this other one." Your best friend was looking at your worksheet over your shoulder, right hand holding the pencil he was using to point at the numbers and letters, while his left one rested on the back of your chair as he stood behind you. The explanation he was giving to you soon got lost, his words becoming nothing but background noise as you could only focus on his proximity and the way his breath tickled your neck and cheeks as he spoke. Your eyes fixated on the paper laying on the table, the numbers and letters meaning nothing to you when you closed your eyes, as if that would make your feelings for Sim Jaeyun -your best friend- go away.

When you opened your eyes his hand appeared in front of them, moving up and down as he tried to get your attention back. "You there?" You could practically hear the grin on his face when he spoke, which made you throw your hand back, hoping to hit him on the shoulder, the 'ow' he let out letting you know you hit your target. "I deserved it?" The chuckle that left his mouth made butterflies appear on your stomach as you turned around to face him. "Yeah, yeah." You waved your hand dismissively. "Can you explain it again? I got a little distracted." You admitted, looking away from his face and missing the way his eyes drifted to your lips for a moment before coming back up.

"Of course." He smiled even if you weren't looking, this time choosing to sit by your side instead of standing, hands reaching for the paper on the table. "Pay attention this time." He joked earning him another hit on the shoulder as he laughed at the expected reaction. "I hate you." You glared at him and this time it was him that missed the way you eyed his lips, his eyes on the math problem he was helping you with. A part of you hoped he would catch you looking, and little did you know he did too, maybe that way you would move on, be it because of rejection or because a move was finally made. 

A few minutes later the grip you had on your pencil loosened, making it fly away as you threw your hands in the air. "I can't do this anymore, it's time for a break." You declared, making Jake turn his attention away from his own work, now focused on you. "It's barely 3 pm." It almost sounded as if he was complaining, something that wouldn't surprise you due to his love for math. "And? I think it's time to watch a movie or something." You crossed your arms over your chest, a frown on your face trying to show how serious you were and he called your name in warning. "It's finals week, we agreed to study all day." And with that he turned back to his notes and work, wanting to ignore the pout on your face and how he wanted to kiss it away.

“Why do we even need to study that much, you’ll ace it and I’ll pass.” You tried again, maybe waking up at 9 am on a sunday to study with Jake hadn’t been your brightest idea, especially since you couldn’t seem to stop getting distracted by your best friend doing the bare minimum. “Because I want you to ace it too.” Was his only explanation, yet it didn’t seem to convince you and he sighed. “Okay, just one movie.” The smile that adorned your face in response to his words was enough to make taking a break and risking your grades worth it. 

Not even half a minute had passed and you were already dragging him to the kitchen to get some snacks, the feeling of your hand holding his making him go red in the face. “Okay first snacks, then we’ll pick a movie and then ignore studying!” You turned around to see his reaction, the smile still on your face and the blush still on his. “You are red, do you feel sick?!” Only then you let go of his hand, reaching up to check his temperature by placing your hand on his forehead, the way you stood on the tip of your toes strangely endearing to him. “You are warm, I’ll get you some water.” You moved to get away from him but he reached out to stop you, his hand on your wrist as he pulled you back in, this time you noticed how he looked down to your lips for a moment doing the same just as his eyes met yours. “I’m so in love with you.” The man blurted out and by the way your eyes widened in surprise he realized he had actually said it instead of just thinking about it. “You love me?” Shock was written all over your face, and he worried you didn’t feel the same, eyes drifting to the floor as he spoke. “Have for a while.” He didn’t see the shock fade away into a smile, too busy wallowing in self pity at the idea you didn’t love him back and that he had ruined your friendship.. “I love you too Jake.” Your words broke his train of thought, now it was his turn to be shocked as he looked back up. “You do?” His eyes were filled with hope as he searched your face for any sign of it being a lie. “Yes, I realized it that day we ditched Jay and Sunghoon at that party and watched movies all night.”

He let go of your wrist, instead wrapping his arms around you and bringing you incredibly closer. “I was so scared I had ruined everything.” He spoke against your hair. “You could never ruin anything Jake." You chuckled against his chest as warmth spread across your cheeks. "So… Do you want to go out with me?" He asked, one of his arms moving away from your form as he scratched the back of his neck. "Right now?" You looked up at him. "Right now." He poked your nose in an affectionate way before wrapping his arm around you again. "What happened to studying all day?" You laughed at the face he made at the way you used his own words against him. "Then a study date it is."

[clairecrive]

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

[it-happened-one-fic]

One Hell of a Team - Childe

Author Notes: This one kind of halfway stemmed from a song by AmaLee & Divide Music called "One Hell of a Team." It's actually a song for a fandom I know nothing about but listened to while writing this. It was actually interesting writing for this character. The debate about whether to call him Childe, Tartaglia, or Ajax was a difficult one. As per usual reader is gender-neutral. Also I decided to start including word counts in my posts to give everyone a length estimate. I might go back through and them to past works at some point.

Type: Fluff/slight flirtation, romance hinted

Word count: 1465

Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax. The eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers went by several different names and at this point I didn’t even know which one was the real one. But his numerous titles were fitting considering the many masks he donned for his duties. To some he was a murderer, to others he was a comrade, and to some he was a brother. But to me…. To me he was a pest.

“Y/n!!” I turned to see the redhead trotting over, one hand waving in the air as he grinned at me. How he managed to find me whenever I was working on a commission was beyond me. But he always showed up with some excuse. Taking care of Fatui business, out for a walk, avoiding a coworker. You name he’d said it. But I’d come to realize quite some time ago that he merely showed up to bug me. 

Well… That and I always ended up fighting something on my commissions. 

I sighed, stopping in my tracks as he bounded up alongside me like a rather excitable dog. His oddly flat blue eyes, which I’d learned the hard way he could be quite touchy about, managed to show a faint glimmer as he came to stop next to me.

“Fancy seeing you here,” I ignored the flirtatious lilt to his words and rolled my eyes slightly. 

“Quite.”

He had the gall to grin at my flat tone, “So what daring deed are you venturing off to do today? Mind if I tag along?” I glanced over, barely meeting his gaze before I quickly broke eye contact.

It was hard to maintain eye contact with him. He always seemed to take it to mean something since he was always reading into every single action anyone took. Even if it didn’t actually have any meaning to it. 

“There’s been sightings of some aggressive Geovishaps in this area and rumors of a missile wielding monster which is probably a Ruin Guard.” I voice was calm as I answered him but in truth I was carefully watching him, gauging his reaction to my words.

He frowned slightly but in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it change of expression his somber expression was quickly replaced by his usual smile, “Ah, you really have got to let me come along if there’s a Ruin Guard. My little brother, Teucer, loves those things.”

Ah yes. Teucer. I’d met him briefly and had been incredibly concerned. He’d handed me a bag of money in request to take care of him. Which I did with more than a little confusion and concern. I later found out he’d apparently done this to the Traveler as well but that was neither here nor there.

What was important was that he adored Ruin Guards and was, I was fairly certain, the main reason Childe now liked to follow me around.

“He’d be thrilled if I were to send him a letter about how his nice adventurer buddy and I found some Ruin Guards while on a walk one day.” At Childe’s words I sighed but nodded.

“Alright, you can come along. But this had better not have anything to do with Fatui business I told you-”

“I know, I know. You don’t want anything to do with the Fatui,” I at last met his gaze openly and found he was smiling down at me. Strange, since he usually smirked or grinned. 

Strange until his oddly sweet smile turned conniving and he held up a camera, jostling it slightly, “Buuut you won’t mind it if I take a picture as proof to send to Teucer, Right?”

I could practically feel my eyeball twitch, “If you can manage to get a photo of us and a Ruin Guard without getting killed to send to you brother then be my guest.”

He smirked. Challenge accepted evidently enough. Cocky little-

 “So where are we headed?” His question was speedy, cutting off my less-than kind thoughts as if he somehow knew what I was thinking.

I idly pulled my map out and unrolled as he leaned around me to better see the lines on the paper. Though he didn’t have to get that close…

 “Not far, just right over in these caves,” I pointed towards the proper area on the map, indicating where we were headed.

He let out a hum, reaching around to grip the paper as he scanned it, “And your commission is what exactly?”

This was the odd thing about Childe accompanying me. He always wanted to know the specifics of the commission. According to him it was because he only did jobs if he could totally complete them, but he never accepted any of the reward. 

Instead I was the one that got any and all bonuses for completing the commission beyond the commissioner’s expectations.

His excuse of only doing jobs he would be successful at didn’t make any sense anyway. I knew for a fact he didn’t care what the other harbingers thought of him and I also knew he didn’t mind losing a fight. In fact he always took it as a challenge to get better.

Despite my confusion, I found myself explaining the particulars of the commission, “Kill as many Geovishaps and Ruin Guards as possible and make the area safe again.”

 I watched in vague amusement as Childe made a confused expression, turning his head so he could eye me, “Why does the area need to be safe? No one ever goes that way. It’s not a mine or something is it?”

I shook my head, still studying the map for any additional exits from the caves that I might need to worry about,“No. It is the location of some ruins that are of interest to some excavators though.”

“Famous ruins?” His eyebrows rose as he questioned me and I grinned despite myself. There it was. The legendary lack of knowledge of Childe who had been staying in Liyue for at least a year now.

I nodded in response to his question, “Very, they supposedly have something to do with Rex Lapis’s achievements during the Archon War.” 

To my surprise he grinned, at last releasing my map and straightening from his half-bent position, “So there might be treasure hoarders?”

I felt my smile fall as understanding slapped me upside the head. He was hoping for more opponents. As if Geovishaps and Ruin Guards weren’t enough. 

I shook my head, rolling up my map and slipping it back into my bag, “I certainly hope not. That would be a few too many opponents for me.”

His arm fell across my shoulders, an unexpected weight that almost made me stumble as my eyes widened at its appearance, “Don’t worry about it Comrade. I can handle any excess opponents that you can’t.”

I glanced up, sighing slightly at his confident smile. I received a wink as soon as I made eye contact which caused me to shake my head and look away, before smiling despite myself. But he didn’t need to know that.

Despite his annoying nature, Childe was right, I thought to myself. He was reliable when it came to a fight.

These were thoughts that I soon regretted. 

We had beat everything and he’d even managed to get the picture, but at what cost? There had been three Geovishaps, one ruin guard, and a whole motley crew of treasure hoarders. We had beaten all of them but we’d also destroyed a fair bit of what was already ruins. I could only hope that none of it had been important.

I was huffing as I pulled my sword out of the last Geovishap. Childe waltzed over, a cocky grin on his face as his weapons disappeared, “Tired Y/n?”

I rolled my shoulders and nodded, not even bothering to hide it, “Naturally, look at everything we had to fight.” I gestured to the corpses of Geovishaps and still steaming Ruin Guard Childe had just slaughtered.

Luckily the treasure hoarders had fled after just a bit of fighting with me and Childe. That didn’t mean it had been any less tiring though.

Unbothered as ever, Childe grinned and walked around behind me. One hand landing on my shoulder while the other extended out and gestured to the scene I just pointed out to him, “‘And look at everything you and I beat together.”

Especially when I’d been dodging boulder sized chunks of wall that the ruin guard had broken up during its attacks.

I’d nearly been crushed. Twice.

I glanced towards him just as he leaned around me so he was looking directly in my eyes with dull blue ones. Our noses were almost touching.

 I blinked in surprise at his closeness and leaned back slightly which only seemed to make him grin more, “We make one hell of a team huh?”

[admiringlove]

hurtful things

+synopsis: genshin boys and the hurtful things they said.

+genre: angst; headcanons.

+characters: kaeya; diluc; childe; zhongli.

+warnings: swearing; crying; implied panic attack.

+order: hey bubs! i saw you doing requests and i HAD to ask for genshin angst :) spare me some tears pls <//3 preferably w kaeya or diluc or childe :) [submitted by @crackheadsara​]

+author’s note: okay so i included zhongli bc he’s the love of my life, also i needed comfort from him after writing such hurtful things :D

+navigation: main menu, genshin menu.

— KAEYA.

“i’m better off without you.”

you know from the way your door was knocked in the middle of the night on a weekday after months, that it’s kaeya. you rub your eyes sleepily, trudging towards the door as anger and doubt fuse into a nasty green in your mind. 

you unlock the door, pulling it open to see the man with the eyepatch tapping his foot on the deck of your home impatiently. he smirks when his eye lands on you, attempting to walk in but stopping himself when he realizes you're standing at the door, unmoving. 

"kaeya, it's three in the morning. and it's monday. i have to report to jean in three hours," you mumble tiredly as you look up at him. the lamp grass by your windowsill outside and the moonlit night accentuated his cerulean eyes and contrasting coffee-colored skin. he frowns, peering down at you as he asks, "may i come in?"

you shrug, opening the door wide as you let the man in. he places his sword on the table and proceeds to walk into the bedroom when you ask, "where have you been for the past two weeks?"

"work," his reply is the same. you let out a sigh in impatience as you retort, "that's the same excuse as always."

he was tired and wanted to sleep off the fatigue from his latest mission. but when he hears you say that, something in him snaps and he turns around, his jaw clenched and a fixed glare making you a little agitated. he raises an eyebrow as he says, "well, unlike you, i am an actual important member of the knights of favonius."

"kaeya, all i meant was that you're always gone. you never write a letter back even if i send you one, and you somehow manage to come back every single time, expecting that it doesn't hurt me. what am i supposed to do?" your voice is small as you look down, hair drooping towards the ground. you're not even yelling at him, you're just worried. he always leaves you alone(sometimes you tag along, but you couldn't tell why nowadays he'd leave you alone without some sort of warning).

"does it ever occur to you that you're just a hindrance?" he bites back, thinking that you're trying to put up a front. you flinch at his words, causing him to force a jeer before he starts again, "you always come along, so maybe i wanted to be away from you for a bit. that's why i leave without a warning so i don't have to tend to your yapping all day. because i'm better off without you."

you gasp as you look up to his figure, now retreating to your shared bedroom. you hear him fall onto the bed with a content sigh as you stand there, wiping at your tears incessantly as hiccups escape your lips. you bit your tongue to stop yourself from crying, pressing a hand on your mouth to muffle the sounds so you don't disturb kaeya. you get a quick peek in, eyes widening when you see him sound asleep and tucked in. 

so that's how it was, you think. 

the next morning, kaeya wakes up to a cold bed as his arm reaches out to an empty space. his eyes immediately pry open as he wakes up, to see that you weren't here. 

ah, he ponders to himself, you must've gone to tend to your duties. 

he stretches, letting out a yawn before walking out to the kitchen. he smiles when he sees a plate of food left for him on the countertop with a note from you. but somehow, something felt very wrong about this whole ordeal. this had happened before—he had come back from insanely long missions to you before, so what felt different?

and then it hits him. the things he said last night. he frantically looks around, his azure eyes completely drowned in horror as he notices small changes in your shared household. a few picture frames are missing on the living room walls, your keychain isn't on the bookshelf anymore, and worst of all, when he runs into the closet, half of your clothes are gone. 

did you really feel that bad about what he said?

in panic, he runs out and keeps going till he reaches the headquarters of the knights. he barges in this time, not returning the greetings of the guards upfront as he walks into jean's office. 

"where are they?" he pants, "i-i messed up, do you know where they are?"

jean's eyes widen as she says, "our associates were having a hard time handling with the fatui in liyue harbor so they volunteered to go there for sometime."

"how long has it been?"

"they left long ago, it's about to be around ten hours since," she says. kaeya's heart shatters as he hears those words. he hadn't expected you to outright leave like that, but if you had said the same things to him, he definitely would've stormed out. his voice cracks as he looks at the ground in shame, "h-how long until they'll be back?"

"i.. don't know."

he regrets everything he's said. he truly does because he doesn't even notice that tears are streaming down his cheeks until jean comes to his aid. he hates himself for all of it—he hates that he has to live in a home where traces of you are visible everywhere; worst of all, he hates how he knows he lost you for good. even if you come back, he knows you wouldn’t run and melt into his arms like you did before. you’re gone now, fading into the darkness and away from him. 

maybe it was for the best.

— DILUC.

“you’re nothing but a burden.”

after taking on a few abyss mages and mitachurls, diluc lets a grunt out in pain before you see the slash on his right arm. you gasp, pulling him to the side of the lake as you pull out a bandage and cotton from your bag to clean his wounds. he's reluctant to it at first, but he sits there quietly and broods as you clean the blood with cotton and some type of healing ointment. 

you tie the bandage on his arm, a tiny bit of vermillion liquid seeping through the white cloth before sitting down next to him, finally catching a breath. sighing, you look up at him and say, "that was reckless."

"no, what you did was reckless. who told you to come along with me to dadaupa gorge? you knew what you were getting into when you came along, so don't put this on me," he grumbled, frowning as you look at him with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. you are sort of hurt, but you know he's only saying this in faux indignation, so it's okay. you chuckle out, beginning, "diluc, i was-"

"i don't know why i even bother with you at this point," he exasperates, looking into the distance behind you. he curses slightly under his breath, his rouge eyes filled to the brim with anger as it finally overflows, "you're nothing but a burden."

your eyes suddenly flick to gape at him in disbelief. you stand up, your voice hitching in your throat as you ask, "diluc, you mean that?"

and it all simmers down into ashes when he mumbles "of course i do" under his breath. your vision is blurry as you walk away from the red-haired man, your body trembling as you almost give away that you're crying your eyes out. you walk back in the direction the two of you came from, leaving your broken heart in the hands of diluc, who sat by the lake not muttering a word after. 

he knows he's said things he doesn't mean; he does that all the time, but you probably knew that. he figures you're leaving to catch a breath of fresh air—to be away from the tension-filled environment for a bit, you had a habit of doing that at home. he sighs as he ponders over his words for a bit. he knew it was wrong to display such harshness to you, but you probably knew he didn't mean anything by it. he always bubbled over rash things when he was frustrated. 

the sun sets in front of him, painting hues of aubergine and peach as it flows down. he wonders where you are, getting up from his spot by the lake to venture towards the path you walked off. 

only when he can't find you, is when he thinks that you might've actually taken offense to his words. although he cares about you sincerely, he finishes his mission first, getting a lead on the abyss order—because protecting monstadt was his first priority. you lingered in his mind every second of every day till he finally got back home. and when he didn't find you there, he asks adelinde about it, who only shakes her head and tells him, "i'm sorry, master diluc, but i haven't seen them come back. i thought they were with you."

it all pieces together in his mind now, how a small gasp had escaped your lips when he had called you a burden. the way you nodded begrudgingly, getting up and walking away from his presence as your shoulders trembled. the way he could hear you choke back a sob, but still ignored it, thinking you had overreacted in the situation. 

he searches the whole city for you. he searches every nook and corner, and even walks into the headquarters of the knights of favonius(he ignores kaeya's teases instead of biting back this time). and when he finally sees you, he holds himself back. his hand is suspended awkwardly in the air as he reaches out for you, your back turned towards him. 

maybe this was better—maybe it was a good thing that you had walked away from him. this way, the abyss order won't be able to harm you. this way, he won't be able to harm you. this way, you'll be safe and sound, away from the storm known as diluc ragnvindr.

— CHILDE.

“it’s not like you mean anything to me.”

it's not often you see childe. he's always in liyue, and you're here, stuck in monstadt or snezhnaya. it's cold today(as it always is) in snezhnaya, the snow covered almost everything outside as you looked out of your window, sipping on hot coffee as you sigh at the wilting roses on the sill. they'd wilted when you had gone to monstadt and you didn't have the heart to plant new ones.

just thinking about the blue-eyed childish man would make your heart bloom and cheeks flustered. you longed to spend more time with him, really. if only he wasn't affiliated with the fatui, he'd be able to spend more time with you. it had been months since you had seen him, and you longed to be in his arms once again, but who knows when that'll happen again? whenever he comes home, he chooses to spend a night with you and then head back. he'd laugh alongside you, tell you about his adventures, and give small reactions when you told him about yours. and the next morning, you'd wake up to an empty bed with a small note by the table, saying how he has to leave for work.  

a knock at your door snaps you out of your entranced state. as you open the lock and look out, you see childe, standing there with a tired grin and disheveled hair as he walks in without a word. he hands you a small paper bag, saying, "i brought you back something from liyue this time."

the same excuse, you think. it's always the same. he brings back small mementos and souvenirs as a pretense for staying, and by the time you think you can forgive him, he's gone. he plops down onto the sofa, stretching his arm out so you could join him. the thought of confronting him crosses your mind, but you shake it off—since he had only just gotten back. 

the night is the same as always. talking about each others' adventures, eating dinner by the fireplace, laughing alongside one another until you hit the bed. it's quiet now as you watch over his sleeping figure, his lapis-colored eyes now hidden. you sigh as you lay there for hours on end, twiddling with his brown hair as you wait for him to wake up(so this time you can actually say goodbye). 

when his eyes flutter open, he's a little taken aback when he looks over at you to see you wide awake. his brows furrow just a smidge as he says, "you're up."

"well, i wanted to say goodbye this time," you chuckle dryly, "you always leave without waking me up."

"i don't like the way you said that," he says, getting up from his position on the bed. you look away from him, your eyes displaying hurt as you murmur, "i don't like the way you leave."

"well, it's my job. it's not like i'm an adventurer like you, wasting my time around. i'm a harbinger and i have responsibilities," he says. his voice is neither too soft and nor too prickly, and you can tell that he's a little worked up by the way he lightly nips on the skin of his bottom lip as his gaze bores into you. 

"i didn't say you don't. all i said was that you could maybe sometimes stay for more than one night. it feels like you're using me, and when you're bored, you leave."

"oh?" he cocks an eyebrow as he stands up, "i'm using you, huh?"

you grimace at the tone of his voice, and when you look at him, you notice the sheer annoyance he puts up towards you. your voice is small when you ask him if he loves you—because you don't know anymore. seeing him once in a few months for the past few years has sure hurt you more than anything, and if you don't tell him now, then you might never get a chance. 

"what if i say i don't?" he smirks, walking up to you, "it's not like you mean anything to me. what if i agree that i am using you to make myself happy until i'm bored, so i can then throw you away?"

he doesn't like what he's saying either. his mind is screaming at him to stop, but he's worked up. he's irritated by the way you jabbed at him first thing in the morning, even though he knows you're right. his heart almost stops when he looks at the expression on your face after he says those words, and as he reaches out his hand for you, you turn away. 

your voice cracks, and he's sure his heart did as well when you mumble, "i-i'd like you to leave, please."

"wait, i didn't mean-"

"tartaglia," your eyes look into his, perhaps for the last time, as you give him a sad smile, "you don't have to come back to me anymore."

it hurts him as he leaves your home that morning. it hurts him when he comes back months later to see that your home is now empty. it hurts him because he tarnished the you that was once his. 

it hurts him, but he thinks it's for the best if you stay away from him if all he does is bring you pain.

— ZHONGLI.

“i’d like you to leave me alone.”

zhongli was never one to pick fights. he was peaceful; his thoughts were positive(most of the time), and he almost always preferred to talk about his problem rather than fighting about it—he believes that fighting will only bring pain, so why not confide in one another about our problems instead?

he's quiet. he's not shy(it's quite the opposite, actually), but he's one to prefer to only talk when absolutely necessary. he's the type to listen rather than speak, saying something like, "we have two ears and one mouth. speak less than you listen."

he smiles when his mind goes back to the time when he said that to you while having a cup of tea together, and you'd replied, "my mother used to tell me that when i was a child."

because it's true; every child in liyue harbor has heard those words at least once in their lives. the quality of listening is appreciated more than the quality of speaking—and zhongli, for one, was a listener. 

you, on the other hand, were a speaker. you always woke him up every morning with a smile as bright and everlasting as the sun, babbling about breakfast and tea as he got up from the bed. you were the one that carried conversations on your shoulders on morning walks, you were the one that intertwined your fingers with his as the two of you walked amongst flowers, adoring them as you talked about the contrasting colors of silk flowers and glaze lilies. he loved you for that. he loved you because you were a speaker. he loved you because you were a perfect balance, the only one who could soften his hardened heart. the only one whom he'd chosen to wake up next to in the mornings, the only one whom he'd let ruffle his hair without asking(because he secretly liked it). 

so why had he reversed the roles tonight? why was he the one to bubble out his frustrations to you, speaking in a cold and stern manner instead of the loving tone that was only reserved for you? why was he the one to speak tonight, and why were you the one to listen?

it's not like he was actually frustrated—he was only thinking about something else as you asked him what he wanted for dinner. it surely wasn't your fault when he had poured over turbulent words to you. and he knows that the ones that hurt the most probably were, "i'd like you to leave me alone."

he looks up at the stars, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he walks back into his shared home with you. he looks around, and when there's no sign of you, he feels himself break apart even more. 

had you actually left? he wants to run to you and tell you he hadn't meant any of those words because he hadn't. he wants to touch you, to caress you, to please you, to make you smile—and he wants to admit he was wrong. he wants to make it right, but he doesn't know where you are. 

he walks into the empty bedroom, sitting on the cold mattress as his eyes sting. he doesn't understand what's happening, or why there are small drops of water falling from his eyes. he doesn't understand why everything feels heavy all of a sudden—his heart, his throat his lungs, everything. he doesn't understand why he feels like he's trapped in a box, and the water seems to be filling up more quickly than he'd prefer. he wants to reach for air, but he can't.

he couldn't breathe without you. 

he hears the door close and immediately gets up in haste to walk to the living room where he sees you take off your boots. you turn around to see him, his disheveled hair and frantic eyes finally calming as he walks over to you and engulfs you in a warm embrace. his throat cleared up, and so did his heart and lungs as he mumbles against your ear, "i'm so sorry."

you smile smally, looking up at him as you cup his cheeks and wipe a stray tear, and mutter, "it's okay, zhongli. stress gets to the best of us."

god, how he loves you. he places a small peck on the top of your forehead as he feels his lips turn upward at your touch and the scent of glaze lilies lingering over you tells him that you'd been to the flower garden. he sleeps with your fingers weaved with his that night and pulls you even closer if you untangle with him in sleep. 

he makes a promise to himself saying he'd never hurt you like that again, and he keeps it.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[heelvsme]

[15:21]

pairing: jake sim x reader

word count: 1078

tags: fluff, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, study date

a/n: this is actually my first time writing a time stamp, I asked a friend to tell me a random time of the day and adapted the plot I had thought of to it,, I'm currently going through a jake brainrot. not proofread, as usual.

"When you solve this equation you have to use X and Y on this other one." Your best friend was looking at your worksheet over your shoulder, right hand holding the pencil he was using to point at the numbers and letters, while his left one rested on the back of your chair as he stood behind you. The explanation he was giving to you soon got lost, his words becoming nothing but background noise as you could only focus on his proximity and the way his breath tickled your neck and cheeks as he spoke. Your eyes fixated on the paper laying on the table, the numbers and letters meaning nothing to you when you closed your eyes, as if that would make your feelings for Sim Jaeyun -your best friend- go away.

When you opened your eyes his hand appeared in front of them, moving up and down as he tried to get your attention back. "You there?" You could practically hear the grin on his face when he spoke, which made you throw your hand back, hoping to hit him on the shoulder, the 'ow' he let out letting you know you hit your target. "I deserved it?" The chuckle that left his mouth made butterflies appear on your stomach as you turned around to face him. "Yeah, yeah." You waved your hand dismissively. "Can you explain it again? I got a little distracted." You admitted, looking away from his face and missing the way his eyes drifted to your lips for a moment before coming back up.

"Of course." He smiled even if you weren't looking, this time choosing to sit by your side instead of standing, hands reaching for the paper on the table. "Pay attention this time." He joked earning him another hit on the shoulder as he laughed at the expected reaction. "I hate you." You glared at him and this time it was him that missed the way you eyed his lips, his eyes on the math problem he was helping you with. A part of you hoped he would catch you looking, and little did you know he did too, maybe that way you would move on, be it because of rejection or because a move was finally made. 

A few minutes later the grip you had on your pencil loosened, making it fly away as you threw your hands in the air. "I can't do this anymore, it's time for a break." You declared, making Jake turn his attention away from his own work, now focused on you. "It's barely 3 pm." It almost sounded as if he was complaining, something that wouldn't surprise you due to his love for math. "And? I think it's time to watch a movie or something." You crossed your arms over your chest, a frown on your face trying to show how serious you were and he called your name in warning. "It's finals week, we agreed to study all day." And with that he turned back to his notes and work, wanting to ignore the pout on your face and how he wanted to kiss it away.

“Why do we even need to study that much, you’ll ace it and I’ll pass.” You tried again, maybe waking up at 9 am on a sunday to study with Jake hadn’t been your brightest idea, especially since you couldn’t seem to stop getting distracted by your best friend doing the bare minimum. “Because I want you to ace it too.” Was his only explanation, yet it didn’t seem to convince you and he sighed. “Okay, just one movie.” The smile that adorned your face in response to his words was enough to make taking a break and risking your grades worth it. 

Not even half a minute had passed and you were already dragging him to the kitchen to get some snacks, the feeling of your hand holding his making him go red in the face. “Okay first snacks, then we’ll pick a movie and then ignore studying!” You turned around to see his reaction, the smile still on your face and the blush still on his. “You are red, do you feel sick?!” Only then you let go of his hand, reaching up to check his temperature by placing your hand on his forehead, the way you stood on the tip of your toes strangely endearing to him. “You are warm, I’ll get you some water.” You moved to get away from him but he reached out to stop you, his hand on your wrist as he pulled you back in, this time you noticed how he looked down to your lips for a moment doing the same just as his eyes met yours. “I’m so in love with you.” The man blurted out and by the way your eyes widened in surprise he realized he had actually said it instead of just thinking about it. “You love me?” Shock was written all over your face, and he worried you didn’t feel the same, eyes drifting to the floor as he spoke. “Have for a while.” He didn’t see the shock fade away into a smile, too busy wallowing in self pity at the idea you didn’t love him back and that he had ruined your friendship.. “I love you too Jake.” Your words broke his train of thought, now it was his turn to be shocked as he looked back up. “You do?” His eyes were filled with hope as he searched your face for any sign of it being a lie. “Yes, I realized it that day we ditched Jay and Sunghoon at that party and watched movies all night.”

He let go of your wrist, instead wrapping his arms around you and bringing you incredibly closer. “I was so scared I had ruined everything.” He spoke against your hair. “You could never ruin anything Jake." You chuckled against his chest as warmth spread across your cheeks. "So… Do you want to go out with me?" He asked, one of his arms moving away from your form as he scratched the back of his neck. "Right now?" You looked up at him. "Right now." He poked your nose in an affectionate way before wrapping his arm around you again. "What happened to studying all day?" You laughed at the face he made at the way you used his own words against him. "Then a study date it is."

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex

Summary: Dr. Spencer Reid plays a trivia game at the request of his wife, Y/N, but he’s in for more than some heaving hitting questions. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Wife Reader 

Word Count: 1.5k 

Author’s Note: I really don’t think that this summary does this justice

I’ll Take X-pecting for 200, Alex 

Shuffling the cards with a shake in her hand, Y/N tells herself to just breathe. This is something that Spencer and her have been looking forward to, dreamed about, and constantly discussed. Regardless of how much she knows Spencer loves her, there’s a lingering seed of doubt that only grows with the sound of Spencer walking into their house. 

“Y/N!, I’m home, darlin’,” Spencer calls from the hallway, dropping the “g” because he knows that Y/N finds it endearing. 

“Baby,” Y/N yells from the table. “I’m in the dining room. I made us a trivia game! Come play with me, I need your brains,” she finishes, smiling at her husband, who has been away for nearly two weeks.

“You know do I love trivia, Y/N,” Spencer says. He takes a seat next to his wife, but before he can kiss her, she pushes him out of his chair and motions for him to take the seat opposite of her.

“Before we start, how was the case? Everyone make it home in one piece?” Y/N asks concerned over the wellbeing of some of her closest friends. 

“Everyone’s fine, Y/N. The unsub ended up being a team. Two women hellbent on getting revenge for their children’s murders. One of them got away,” Spencer explains, solemnly. 

“Oof,” Y/N says, letting out a sigh. “It’s at times like these that I’m glad I don’t have your job. I’m kinda glad she got away, between you and me.” 

“It’s hard, sometimes we don’t really know who we’re bringing justice too. But, I’d do anything to protect my future children, and you. Anything I needed to do to keep you safe,” Spencer tells her, leaning across the table and kissing Y/N’s hand. She gives him a sheepish smile, but inside her mind is eager to get this trivia game started. 

“You’re a charmer, Dr. Reid,” Y/N flirts. 

“Just for you, Y/N. Now you mentioned something about trivia,” Spencer says, clapping his hands together excitedly. 

“I just thought you’d like to rest your brain after a case but shifting though all those facts you got stored up there. And I always said you should try out for Jeopardy,” Y/N says as she collects the cards with the clues. 

She spreads out the categories, Child Psychology, Children’s Books, Labor & Delivery, Nursery Rhymes, X-Epecting, on the table. They were all handwritten on different colorful pieces of cardstock and decorated with baby animals and block letters. Y/N read the categories aloud to her husband, allowing herself to steal a glance at his face while he concentrated on the categories, as if he already could answer the questions. 

“All right, Spencer, you pick first,” Y/N says, in her best Alex Trebek impression. 

“I’ll take Child Psychology for $200,” Spencer chooses, looking up to smile at Y/N. 

“This is the substitute mother that baby monkeys formed an attachment to in Harlow’s psychological experiment,” Y/N asks.

“Terry-Cloth,” Spencer interjects. 

“Not uh, Spence, you need to answer correctly,” Y/N teases. She looks up at him expectantly to choose the next clue. He rolls his eyes at her, but secretly he enjoys the playful banter they still share even after all these years. 

“Um, Children’s Books $200,” 

“This is the story of the clever spider that can weave words in her web,” 

“What is Charlotte’s Web?” 

“Correct, pick again please,” Y/N says, as she tries to maintain a stoic composure. 

“This is the average of days that newborns keep up their sleepless parents,” Y/N asks, sure that this question would stump her genius husband. But to no avail, Spencer answers the question correctly. 

“Okay! Next time try-outs are around, I’m forcing you to take the test,” Y/N says running over to kiss Spencer on the cheek. 

“You know judges are supposed to remain impartial, Y/N” Spencer tells her, putting his arm around her waist as if he’s signally her to sit in his lap. 

“I can’t help it, how about you win kisses every time you get a question right, Spence,” Y/N proposes. 

“I guess it’s worth more than fake money,” Spencer teases.

“You offend me, baby!” Y/N pretends to be hurt by Spencer’s words, but urges him to continue the game. 

“You only got a couple more left, Spence,” 

“Okay, how about X-Expecting for $200,” Spencer chooses. 

“This chromosome is linked to the baby’s mother,” Y/N quizzes, finding it difficult to keep her smiles and secrets at bay when Spencer’s arm tugs around her waist tightly and his fingers draw patterns under her shirt. 

“What is X-Chromosome,” Spencer answers before Y/N can even finish the clue. 

“You know that you’re supposed to wait until the clue is read, Spence. I should redact kisses,” Y/N fake threats. 

“No! Y/N I’ll die without your kisses, please!” Spencer cries out in pretend disain. Much to his amusement his goofy behavior leads Y/N to plant small pecks on his forehead. 

“There, that should hold you over,” 

“I doubt it, Y/N. I miss you already,” Spencer mutters into her shoulder, as if he’s trying to get closer to his wife more than he could already be with her sitting on his lap. 

“Two more clues till Final Jeopardy,” Y/N announces, ignoring the fact that she’s bypassing the rest of the clues and totally disregarding Double Jeopardy. 

“Hmm, let’s go to Nursery Rhymes for kissing for the rest of my life,” Spencer picks, peppering Y/N’s shoulder with kisses. 

“Huh! Look at that, Spencer, you got the Daily Double, so whatcha going to wager?” Y/N asks, knowing she’s pulling this Daily Double straight out of the air, but Spencer’s affection for only one lifetime is not nearly enough for her. 

“I’ll make a true Daily Double, darling. That means double the amount of kisses,” Spencer tells her, ticking the sides of Y/N waist. 

“Here’s your clue, Jack is urged to be nimble & quick, helping him do this,” Y/N reads from the card. 

“What is to jump over the candlestick?” Spencer guesses, closing his eyes to be assaulted by Y/N’s eager lips. 

“Yay! Double kisses!” Y/N yells happily as she pecks Spencer’s eyelids and nose, causing him to laugh at her light affection. 

“Next question, it’s the last one so you don’t get a choice, but I have so much confidence in you, my genius husband. These are the names of the 3 stages of labor?” Y/N questions, looking over her shoulder to get a glimpse of Spencer’s mind at work. 

“What are dilation, expulsion, and afterbirth,” Spencer answers, once again perfectly. 

“Okay, Dr. Reid you’ve accumulated a total of double kisses for the rest of our lives. Your Final Jeopardy category is, Ready For It…” Y/N announces. 

“Last one,” Spencer says, and Y/N wonders if Spencer’s figured it out by now. She hands Spencer the small cardboard box. He looks at it curiously and Y/N can feel her heart in her stomach. He must know by now, she thinks. He’s brilliant, but sometimes he can be a little clueless when it comes to things like that. Y/N thinks back to how they danced around each other for years before Derek practically had to force them out on a date. He must know. 

“You’re clue is inside the box, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her voice shaky and unsure. 

Spencer carefully opens the cardboard box and reaches in to pull out the small pregnancy test that lay hidden inside. He looks it over, reading the test twice, three times, maybe even four times. He honestly can’t remember taking longer to read something. Spencer looks up at a terrified Y/N. 

“You’re pregnant? We’re going to have a baby?” Spencer asks, desperately wanting to believe what he holds in his hand. 

“You’re gonna be a daddy, Spence,” Y/N tells him, her smile struggling to conceal itself in between the bouts of happiness and joy that courses through her veins. 

“A baby! Oh Y/N. A baby!” Spencer shouts rushing over to where his wife stands in between the entrance from their kitchen to their dining room. 

“You’re happy, right Spence. You want this with me-” Y/N starts, a sudden rush of fear lodging itself in her heart. 

“Of course I’m happy, Y/N. I’m so happy to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom! You’ll be the best mom, Y/N. I love you, Y/N,” Spencer says, crouching down to rub his hands on Y/N’s belly. 

“Hi sweet baby,” Y/N says softly, looking down at her belly and covering her hand over Spencer’s. “I want you to meet your daddy. He’s going to take care of you so well, he might talk a lot but you get used to it” 

“Hey, baby. It’s your dad,” Spencer murmurs quietly into Y/N’s belly. “I’m so glad that mommy told me about you. You gotta do some growing in there before you can meet us, but we love you so much, baby,”

“I really love you so much Y/N,” Spencer says as he sits up to kiss his wife. 

All his life Spencer’s loved science. He loves discovering the undiscovered. Memorizing all those theories and facts and methods could never prepare him for the awe that sat before him. He realizes that he’s looked at science all wrong. There's a beauty in science- a natural, unadulterated beauty that’s so rare to find. But he’s found it and he’s never letting go.

Thank You for Reading!

Taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ 

If anyone wants to be tagged in new posts, feel free to comment and I’ll be thrilled to tag you <3

[lostinwildflowers]

WAIT, RACH CAN I REQUEST SOMETHING? ❤️❤️❤️ you totally do not have to write this if you don’t want to, and take as much time as you need, but could I request a Levi fic where the reader has a deaf best friend, so she knows sign language and one day her friend (who is a civilian) comes to visit squad leader reader for a bit. Neither of them know that Levi knows sign language (idc if he knew it prior or if he got curious about their convos and taught himself) so when they are taking care of the horses that night, the friend starts teasing the reader about her love of Levi and he’s there to see it so he confronts them and confesses his love as well? Like I said, feel free to ignore this, it won’t hurt my feelings! Zero stress! I hope you’re doing well, love, you are the absolute best and I will never get over your amazing writing!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️ ALSO I LOVE YOU!!

~Wolfy 🐺

Going Through the Motions

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Summary: You have grown up knowing sign language because of your deaf best friend. You haven't seen her in a long time, so the two of you catch up at the stables, where she teases you about a certain captain. What if he can read your hands, and motions something back?

Word Count: 1.2K

Warnings: deaf! best friend, Levi and Reader both know sign language(duh), otherwise FLUFF(like it needs a warning XD)

A/N: HERE YOU GO WOLFY!!! Sorry if took me forever to get too, but the inspo hit me so I took a hold of it! Thank you for sending a request in :3 MWAH MWAH -Birch<3

Sometimes it pays off to be well educated based on those you surround yourself with. In your case, you had a best friend who was deaf and could only communicate through sign language.

Your friend, Marney, had lost her hearing when you were both young, and so you went to her sign language lessons with her, that way you would still be able to talk to her. You both eventually became fluent in signing, but you didn’t have much need for it when you enlisted in the Scouts.

You hadn’t seen her for a year or so because of the constant missions and trainings you were doing in the Scout Regiment. You worked hard every morning and evening, strengthening your body to make it fit to be a soldier’s.

You had to be at your peak when being a member of Levi’s squad, you were the last wave and you needed to be ready. Throughout all of your hardwork and dedication, you had grown quite fond and close to the captain.

Some nights you would bring him tea after a grueling day of practice, and he would simply sit quietly in your presence before uttering a thank you under his breath. Your friendship was a silent and well-respected one, as most people were too afraid of the Ackerman to even attempt at befriending him.

But you saw Levi for exactly who he was: a man. A man who had been through a lot in his life, and all he wanted to do was rest.

And that’s exactly what everyone was doing. It had been a few long weeks of training and then big missions, so Erwin was giving everyone a week off to settle down and get some rest. Thus, it was perfect timing for your friend to come visit, and you were more than ecstatic to see her.

Your friend was a civilian, so it took her a day to ride out to where the Scouts trained, so you were eagerly waiting for her arrival while briefly going over some of your signs just to refresh your mind.

You can hear horses approaching from in front of you, and you look up to be met with two Scouts being accompanied by a third horse with Marney on top. You jump up and rush over to her, holding her horse’s reins while she hopped down from the gelding’s back.

“Y/n! It’s so great to see you!” she signs eagerly to you before pulling you into a tight hug. You wrap your arms around her the best you can while trying to not let go of the reins, and after a few seconds you pull back and sign, “Marney, I’ve missed you so much!”

The two of you sign back and forth as you guide Marney to the stables, slowly catching up on all of the time spent away from each other.

“What do you mean you’re engaged?” you sign excitedly to Marney, your mouth falling open as you look at the ring on her left hand. Marney just smiles and laughs at you before signing back, “Enough about me! Tell me more about this captain you’ve been writing to me about.”

You playfully roll your eyes as you brush Marney’s horse, fighting down heat in your cheeks as you turn away from her. She playfully bumps your hip and wiggles her eyebrows at you, one again prompting you to answer.

You groan and then sign back, “Okay, yes! I like Levi, but he’s not in a place to be in a relationship right now. The Scouts have been really busy recently, and besides...”

You take a deep breath as you sigh and the shrug before continuing, “There’s no place for love on a battlefield.”

Marney just looks at you unimpressed for a second, her lips pursed in an unamsed fashion before she moves to the otherside of the buckskin colored horse to brush his mane. You try to calm the butterflies in your stomach, but you flinch whenever you hear movement from outside of the stables.

In the doorway, you see a lean figure leaning against the wall, and your heart beats in your chest a little harder as you salute him and call, “Good evening, Captain Levi! I was helping my-”

“At ease, Y/n. I’ve been here for long enough,” Levi states, eyes low and dark from the night outside, and you swallow thickly at the meaning of his words.

Marney moves next to you as she sees a shadow flicker in the candle light, suddenly spotting Levi walking toward you. She glances at him once before signing, “Is this the guy you’ve been writing to me about? Captain Levi?”

As you go to respond, Levi’s hands begin to moving into familiar patterns that you knew all too well as he signs back to Marney, “Captain Levi Ackerman at your service. You should go find your cabin for the night. Y/n and I will clean up here.”

You freeze as Marney’s eyes widen at Levi’s hands, but nods to the captain and begins to make her way out of the barn and toward the rest of the barracks. You can feel your hands clenching around the brush in your hand as Levi continues to make his way up to you.

Your mouth falls open and closed a few times as you glance from Levi’s hands and back to his face, your heart starting to pick up it’s rhythm with nerves. Levi stops in front of you, softly illuminated by the glow from the lamp as he lifts his hands up so the two of you can see them.

“I like you,” the sign comes, simple and accurate, and you gasp as the brush slips out of your fingers and crashes into the ground. You blink in shock a few times as you feel your cheeks warm again and you stutter out, “Y-you like me? Even after I made a fool out of myself?!”

Levi just huffs lightly, the faintest orangey-pink blush on his cheeks as he grumbles, “I do, and I’m surprised that it’s taken you this long to find out.”

You glance away, embarrassed by your oblviiousness. You shuffle on your feet for a moment before asking shyly, “How do you even know sign language? If you don’t mind me asking, that is...”

Levi is quiet for a moment before he turns his head nonchalantly toward the horse and states, “There was a solider here a few years ago who was deaf in one ear. He worked hard and was kind, and it was easiest to sign to him, so he taught me.”

You nod shakily before quickly reaching down to grab the brush. You motion to the horse behind you and ask, “Would you like to help me clean this guy up?”

Levi nods before cracking a slight smirk and chides, “Yeah, that way you can tell me more about what you said in those letters.”

It was a bit of a rocky and unplanned start to your relationship, but going through the motions before getting truly comfortable with each other wasn’t a bad beginning.

Tag list: @xxdragonwriterxx @tejxswini @mysterystarz @mortedeveles @vs-redemption @kal0psi-a @gin-no-g @starstruckkittensweets @kitacharm @babieweeb @shirari @animated-moon @mitzwinchester @anlian-aishang @deludedimagines